#my fault it was the equipment and another factor)

[coolfoxykitkat]

Me: I have real actual experience for this job.

Job: That’s pretty good. We’ll definitely consider you as a viable candidate.

Me: I can pass a drug test immediately and I’m reliable.

Job: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME WORK FOR US PLEASE PL-

[oldgayjew]

It takes money and manpower to "cut and clear" hazardous materials and buildup of flamable debris on the forest floor. Trump's rant about raking got a hurtfull laugh by the frontline firefighters. You don't "rake" to get rid of this. You use equipment and "years" of prescribed burns. Weather plays a big factor in all of this. There's another factor in all of this too. People. People who live in the areas that need to be treated. A spark from a fire can travel a mile and ignite another fire. This is not as simple as Mr. Know it all tells it. How do you undo over 100 years of mismanagement with just a snap of one's finger? You don't, and you don't politisize it. Add all of this; firefighters don't get paid that much. Republicans held up a bill to give them a raise. Firefighters are seasonal employees. They rely on a "good year" to make it through the off season and I'll tell you this, the season gets longer and longer every year because of the dry conditions. I'm retired fully now. I'm tired of seeing the devastation and breathing in smoke. I'm tired of working my ass off and then hearing all the political bullshit about this. Trump don't know shit! People have died. People have lost their homes! It's not the fault of the EPA or the Governor in California. If you want to help. Give something to the families of firefighters.

(1) ChinaJoe and the Nazicrats have been in charge for the last 4 years ... remember Maui ...

(2) Wyoming and Southern California are burning up as we speak ...

(3) What else was in the bill to give firefighters a raise ... Nazicrats love to pad a bill and then point at Republicans when they try to stop wasteful spending ...

(4) 100 years of mismanagement ... I thought that was supposed to be the EPA's job ... what have they done ...

(5) There is no Republican Party ... it's so full of RINOs that it's just a scapegoat for Nazicrat failure ...

(6) Yes it is the fault of the EPA and California's governor ... they're in charge ... right ...

(7) And as far as cash ... we've got a $34,000,000,000,000 national debt from the Nazicrats' wasteful spending and money laundering scheme called Ukraine ... COVID and 15,000,000 Illegal Invaders living large needs to stop right now so then we can talk about money for people who REALLY need it ...

P.S. This is the end of your tirade ... if you wanna complain call Congress and ChinaJoe ... no more anonymous bull shit ...

[youghostandyoutrick]

Probably not gonna go anywhere with this but made the mistake of relistening to The City Must Survive from Frostpunk and now I’m vaguely batting the idea of a Grick Frostpunk AU around

Yomiel still gets struck with Temsik, ofc, the whole thought spawned from the idea that it’d be real handy to have an invulnerable superhuman around, but how does everybody else factor into things?

So far, my thought is that the rest of the main cast has survived the Great Frost and made it to a Generator settlement more or less intact. (Alma may or may not be dead, and it may or may not be Yomiel’s fault, haven’t decided. Fiansissel is definitely dead.) They’re all working their asses off in their new, miserable, frostbitten lives, y’know, standard Frostpunk fare.

Then the scouting teams return with a man in tow.

At first, this doesn’t seem strange to anyone. Of course the scouting team brought back a survivor, that’s one of their missions, alongside scavenging resources from the Frostlands. But the survivor… well, dressed like he is, he shouldn’t be alive. His snow-crusted clothes, a fine frock and trousers fit for a cool autumn’s day, should never have been enough to protect him from the bitter cold. His eyes are shielded only by dark inventor’s goggles, the metal components of which should have frozen to his face long ago, and his hands are bare and cold and yet dextrous and undarkened by frostbite. Barely a hair on his head lays out of place.

He’s put to work immediately, of course, all able hands are welcome, and to this he has no complaints. He proves a capable engineer and a meticulous scholar, tireless no matter how the Captain stretches their shifts longer and longer, and integrates well enough into the City, though those who know him will say he is far from sociable. He has a surprisingly keen knowledge of the workings of the Generator in particular, for how jealously that information was guarded in the time before. Questions to him about this knowledge go unanswered, but the Captain allows it to slide, just like the questions about how he survived the Frostlands so ill-equipped for so long.

Good things cannot last, of course.

Cabanela and Jowd only hear about the miracle survivor, at first, but their paths must cross eventually, and both of them would know that face anywhere, the one that haunts them, that last and most horrendous mistake of theirs before the frost set in, stepping out of the shadows of a sun-warmed past to haunt their frozen, ramshackle streets. Their eyes meet his, and to one another they say nothing, but later, over awful moonshine in the public house, Jowd and Cabanela say everything. A ghost from the past—a literal one, even, perhaps, cold dead flesh and cold dead spirit, born of the stars and the snow and come to reclaim the life lost to him, stolen from him. Man or monster? Peaceful, protective, or vengeful and biding his time? While the alcohol fades away, the theories remain—in their minds and the minds of the rumourmongers who overheard them.

It spreads quickly from there, and mutates like a cancer in the City’s veins.

Strangers avoid him. Busybodies in the street come up to interrogate him, how he really survived the Frostlands all that time on his own. Parents shuffle their children to the other sides of snow-slicked streets. The particularly religious cross themselves in his presence, not so subtly he doesn’t notice, not so subtly he doesn’t notice any of this shift in his treatment, in the public opinion.

Some of his coworkers, at least, stand with him, in their strange, scientific way. When he learns about the rumours, the older woman whose drawing table sits next to his scoffs. “Ghosts,” she spits, with unhidden disdain. “What hogwash.”

It’s less reassuring than it should have been.

The day he saves a child from being trampled by an automaton only fans the flames.

He pushes the kid aside as the shadow bears down and suddenly he’s on the ground hearing something snap somewhere behind him. People scream. An immense weight lifts from his body, he pushes himself up, and his pancaked leg is reforming, sliding itself neatly back into place as he turns around to look. He stands up and hurries off, before someone can call for a doctor.

Several days later he learns that the city watch had to break up a fistfight at church between the child’s father and a congregant who speculated to no other protest that Yomiel was the devil made flesh, fuelling the Generator with hellfire and the souls of the damned.

The unrest starts to cause such a fuss that even the Captain gets involved. A doctor comes to find Yomiel at work one day, requesting to give him a medical examination. “To assuage the people’s concerns,” the doctor had said, “to prove to them that you’re as human as the rest of us. The Captain wants to put an end to these foolish rumours before they can cause any more problems.”

He possesses the doctor and fills the examination sheet with numbers that seem plausible enough. The next day, he’s called in to the Captain’s office himself.

Yomiel answers the Captain’s questions with a mix of the truth and what he wishes were true. Sure, he may be abnormal, but he’s not dangerous, he’s not malicious. He’s just like the rest of them, trying to eke out an existence in this frozen wasteland, in this tiny pimple of warmth on the face of the snowball Earth. No, sir, he has neither means nor motive to hurt anyone. Yes, sir, he’ll work hard for the City, he already has been.

I’m tired and running out of steam to be all dramatic lol

Blah blah things get worse blah blah throw the witch into the Generator blah blah I kinda forgort about Cabanela and Jowd in all this beyond the rumours starting. Yomiel should make them suffer for starting the rumours I think and this ends up helping absolutely nobody. Where’s Sissel (cat) in all this? Where’s Lynne and Kamila? Hell if I know

[srbachchan]

DAY 5473

Jalsa, Mumbai                   Feb 9/10,  2023                Thu/Fri  9:40 AM

🪔 .. February 10 ..

birthday

joys to

Ef Rahul Sen

, from The City Of Joy , Kolkata .. prayers and wellbeing .. 🌿🙏🏻🚩

.. and the affection of togetherness to

Ef Anat and her husband Daniel

.. for their 21st wedding anniversary on Feb 10 .. 💍💕 .. mazal tov ..

It is conformed fact that the night of correctness of slumber does indeed bring the life and will and energy to face another day with endeavour and the strength of body .. suddenly the weak outlook of the previous days evaporates in the mist of opportunity and gives another dimension to the 24 hrs that you have been introduced to .. 

And thus the extended slumber , just like the extended family is relentless in its presence with the energy and the rested will for the day ahead ..

The assist that is needed to manage is of prime .. directions to be taken to address the various avenues that erupt each hour , need attention in some order and professionalism .. 

Personnel required for such a device is of importance .. the trust the knowledge the know how to give comfort and allegiance to the employer becomes primary .. the search for this , is another challenge .. 

Some are most qualified and equipped to assess the possibilities and deliver the right choice and people to attend to the requirements .. most are not .. and yours truly falls in that category .. 

It is most difficult to get the right person for the right job .. but when they are chosen they deliver to the satisfaction of the need and that is an added advantage .. 

Some of the Ef have these qualaities and are most proficient , and one admires them and lauds their voluntary efforts .. I thank them for their design of inputs they give to make my life a lot easier - well life is never easy, but still ..

So .. there was talk the other day of decision , and the faults that your Blogmaester has in not being able to equip himself with that most essential quality of existence .. 

The suffering is still there .. the need most .. and the inadequacy is most prevailent .. but what is a day without unfulfilled desire .. unfulfilled work .. unfulfilled destined path ..

And ..

We labour , and face with sufficient rectitude the storms that blow before and above us , with fortitude and the strength of belief and prayer ..

Work has taken a while to formulate ..

But , with the hope and profess of many , hopefully it shall soon be formative .. unknown and uncertainty not withstanding ..

A lot has been given to read and assess .. the scripts and facts of what the nature of the work should be .. and that is to be decided .. decided yes, another factor of decision making .. but we shall make efforts and bring all the creative intellect , limited in its being, before us and move ahead .. with of course the blessings of you and many like you .. 🙏 ..

There are many desired inclinations of many to spend time with them, to be present to present myself and my story of life .. 

This is a matter of great mirth .. 

My story and my life ..? 

It is of no value to be shared or given in a standing of learning for another, as they that come forward , put it .. its an embarrassement for me .. unqulified altogether .. 

NO .. 

I am incapable of doing so , or even attempting to accept such promulgations ..

I am content with what the Ef gives .. what the common man sees and acknowledges .. what the audience see and react .. that is enough .. the profession is professed and assessed by they for whom it has been professed .. that is all .. do not try to attach more than that , bevcause there is none more ..

End of argument .. 

End of the DAY today 

Love hope and will to all .. ❤️❤️❤️🌹

Amitabh Bachchan

[pigeonwhumps]

Hospital stay

Immortal Cannon Fodder masterlist

Taglist: @extrabitterbrain @wolfeyedwitch @whumpinggrounds @painful-pooch

Whumptember day 28: "I never should have let it come this far" | failed hero | hospital stay | begging for help

Set in the future, when Phoenix has been with Kai's team a while. After being kidnapped together and tortured for, Phoenix and Aaron have been rescued, Kai injured while doing so.

Joseph belongs to @i-eat-worlds, from their story Alex and Friends. Please go read it if you haven't yet!

1.5k

CWs: immortal whumpee, hero whump, caretaker turned whumpee, trans whumpee, mentions of superpower overuse, mentions of waterboarding and whipping, past torture, medical setting, coma, low self-esteem, self-degradation, wish to have committed self sacrifice, something that could potentially come across as a death wish but isn't, past self sacrifice, emeto, past temporary character death, past whump reveal (I guess? Idk how to label it)

Phoenix blinks back tears as they watch Aaron, still and silent in the medbay bed in front of them. He's lying on his stomach, trailing with monitors and IVs and all manner of medical equipment, swathed in bandages. They should've done better. They should be there instead of Aaron, but their stupid healing factor, their immortality that's been so useful in the past, means that he was the one who almost died.

It's not fair. He could've escaped if it wasn't for them. But they're stupid and they failed, and now people are worried about them, too.

"They're definitely out of the coma?" whispers Phoenix to the nurse currently taking Aaron's vitals.

"Yes. Just asleep now. They're safe, everyone is."

"It's my fault."

"No. No, it's not, kiddo."

"It *is*. They used me to control him, he could've, um, escaped. And to check they were right. If I'd died quicker then he would've been less hurt, I should've, um, I should've–"

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare talk about yourself like that."

Phoenix blinks, then bursts into tears. The nurse is so fierce.

"Why do you care? Aaron's yours, I got him hurt, you should–"

A hand falls onto their shoulder. "Do you think that after what we've seen of you over the past few years, how much you've helped, how much you've hurt, do you honestly think that we wouldn't care for you too?"

Phoenix cries. They watch Aaron's too-still body and they cry. Everyone else shouldn't care. But as they watch the nurse tend to Aaron, they can't bring themself to point it out again.

"You're sure they'll, um, they'll be okay?"

"Yes. He's recovering nicely. They should be awake in about six to twelve hours."

They're still too bandaged, too still, too too too, too little Aaron in there. Phoenix tries to comfort themself with the thought that he'll be awake soon, but it doesn't help much. What if he doesn't want to see them again? It's all their fault. They're a failure of a hero, a useless, stupid–

"Hey. Whatever you're thinking, that's enough. Joseph's sent you another cat meme if you want a distraction. Are you in pain?"

The answer is yes, everywhere still aches and hurts whenever they shift (and when they don't), but they can't say that. They know why the nurse is asking. But they're a waste of resources and they deserve this anyway.

"No, sir."

"Are you saying no because you really aren't in pain or because you don't want painkillers? I have standing orders from Aaron to remind you that, although you can of course refuse medication, it's perfectly fine to take painkillers or anything else and it's not a waste of resources."

"I'm, um, I'm okay without, sir," murmurs Phoenix, unsure whether they want the nurse to call them out on it or not. She sighs knowingly.

"Alright. Let me know if you need any. Do you want to see Joseph's cat meme?"

Phoenix nods. "Please. And, um, can I move over to Kai's bed? It's, um, it's his turn."

"Of course."

The nurse fetches Phoenix's phone and wheels them over to Kai's bed, then adjusts their saline IV.

"We'll start you off trying to drink again soon. No water for a while yet though."

Phoenix nods, feeling a burning shame. There's no physical reason they can't drink, they're fine. But mentally...

Mentally, they've spent too long without Kai or Aaron reassuring them on anything, and they didn't realise just how much they relied on that. They're useless on their own.

They clutch Mr Frosty to their chest, smiling weakly at Joseph's new message and making sure to reply. They barely see it, but they know now that he'll worry if they don't answer for too long.

It's their daily cat photo. They don't know what they ever did to deserve Joseph.

They slide their phone onto their lap and sink their chin down onto Mr Frosty's head, observing Kai. He's unconscious too, but a lot of that's because he overused his powers. The medics weren't worried about his unconsciousness so much as the stab wound.

Kai looks peaceful. Phoenix isn't sure if that's true.

They look between their two best friends and guilt wells up inside them. Guilt, and grief for something unknown, bubbling over like an old stone well, overflowing and unstoppable. They've both been hurt, everyone's been hurt, because of them.

"I wish I'd been tortured instead of Aaron," murmurs Phoenix, stroking Mr Frosty's fur. "He didn't deserve it. But it's partly so I wouldn't have to watch, so maybe that makes me selfish. What do you think, Mr Frosty?"

"Mr Frosty thinks you shouldn't be so hard on yourself," croaks a voice from the closest bed, and Phoenix looks up, heart in their throat, to see Kai squinting at them.

"Kai! You're awake! Oh." They press a small red button on the side of Kai's bed. "The nurse said to call if you woke."

"How long have I been out?" he asks weakly, as Phoenix helps him with a sippy cup of water.

"A few days? Not entirely sure," they reply quietly. "I was unconscious too for some of it."

Kai tries to sit up, a concerned look on his face, but he can't manage it. "Are you okay? I thought you'd be healing faster, what's wrong?"

"Dehydration, mostly. I'm fine." Kai's gaze flickers pointedly to the IV line in their arm and back, and they sigh. Can't Kai ever miss anything? "I'm... struggling to drink, after... well. It's simpler this way." Phoenix hesitates, and then reaches out a hand hopefully, laying it on top of Kai's uninjured one. Kai turns his own over and squeezes it gently.

Kai's hand is rough, and warm, and large, and it fills Phoenix with relief, to be able to hold it again.

"Where's Aaron? How are they holding up? I don't remember that well but I'm pretty sure they were in bad shape."

Phoenix's eyes dart to the next bed, and Kai struggles in another fruitless attempt to sit up.

"He... he, um, he took the last whipping for me. After everything else he took it, I don't know why, I'm, um, I'm immortal, I'd have been fine, but he– anyway, they're, um, they're out of the induced coma now. Asleep. They're healing. I've, um, been switching between you."

Phoenix is dreading the point where they have to find out exactly how bad things are, how much Aaron hates them now, but they know they deserve it.

"Okay. Phoenix? Firstly, being whipped and waterboarded counts as torture, yes, to you too. Stop being mean to yourself."

Phoenix frowns. "How do you, um, know about the waterboarding?"

Kai squeezes their hand. "They sent videos. To anyone who might care that they had you both. Our team, Joseph, Electrocus, Aisling and Gemma... and Aaron's parents and Alicia. Nobody's told you, huh?"

Phoenix shakes their head, but everything's muted, like they're underwater. They're drowning and they have no idea how to come up for air.

They understand why no-one would tell them. Everyone knowing... that's far too much for their mind to hold.

They gasp, trying to grasp onto something, anything, looking for a lifeline their mind can hold. Everyone knowing...

And they don't even know how much.

"My... my parents?"

"No idea. We haven't contacted them, they haven't contacted us. If they know they're not saying. But no-one can share either of your identities further."

Phoenix takes a deep breath, trying to steady themself. This means Aaron doesn't know either.

Of course he doesn't. Of course he wouldn't. He hasn't woken since the rescue.

"Stop, um, stop trying to reassure me when you were stabbed."

"Then stop claiming you weren't tortured."

"Wasn't bad torture."

They were experiments anyway. That doesn't count as torture.

There's footsteps from behind Phoenix and they cower down, throwing their arm above their head even though it'll do no good. He's going to hurt them, he's going to stretch their limits and kill them and hurt Aaron and–

"Easy. It's just me, I'm here to check on Kai, breathe."

Phoenix does so obediently, blood rushing past their ears still but seeing the medbay as if from miles away, someone in a white coat entering their field of vision.

"Hello Kai," the voice says warmly. "You're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Tell Phoenix there's no such thing as "not bad" torture."

"There isn't. But Kai, I asked about *you*."

"Thirsty, tired, sore. Not dying." He coughs. "What happened?"

"Let me check your vitals and monitors." There's a pause. Phoenix puts their head between their knees, trying to remember how to breathe. "You remember the rescue? Well, you got Phoenix and Aaron, but you had a dagger thrown in your back on your way out. You're damned lucky you were in wolf form. The healers patched you up, but you had a way to go on your own."

"And the others?"

"Lian's been in and out of sleep, Morfydd's in a sensory deprivation chamber, and Santhiya's recovering in a power-blocking room. You all overused your powers drastically, but you'll be okay."

The floor is mostly white with splatters of colour, swirling swirling splatter, and Phoenix throws up on the medbay floor.

[justforlocal]

Understanding the Factors That Determine the Cost of Auto Insurance

When it comes to auto insurance, one of the most common questions drivers ask is, “What factors determine my premium?” The cost of auto insurance isn’t arbitrary; it’s based on a variety of factors that insurers use to assess risk and determine how much to charge you. Understanding these factors can help you make informed decisions and potentially lower your insurance costs. In this blog post, we’ll delve into the key elements that influence your auto insurance premium.

Driving History

Your driving record is one of the most significant factors in determining your auto insurance premium. Insurers look at your history of accidents, traffic violations, and claims to assess your risk level.

Accidents: If you have a history of accidents, especially those where you were at fault, your premium is likely to be higher. This is because insurers see you as a higher risk.

Traffic Violations: Speeding tickets, DUIs, and other traffic violations can increase your insurance costs. Multiple violations over a short period can significantly impact your premium.

Claims History: Frequent claims, even for minor incidents, can lead to higher premiums. Insurers may view frequent claims as an indicator of higher risk.

Vehicle Type

The type of car you drive also plays a crucial role in determining your insurance costs. Certain characteristics of your vehicle can affect your premium.

Make and Model: Luxury and high-performance vehicles often cost more to insure due to their higher repair and replacement costs.

Age of the Vehicle: Newer cars may have higher premiums because they are more valuable and more expensive to repair. However, they may also come with advanced safety features that could reduce costs.

Safety Features: Cars equipped with advanced safety features such as anti-lock brakes, airbags, and collision avoidance systems may qualify for discounts.

Theft Risk: Some cars are more likely to be stolen than others. If your vehicle is a popular target for thieves, you might face higher premiums.

Personal Information

Several personal factors can influence your auto insurance premium. Insurers use demographic information to assess risk.

Age: Younger drivers, especially teenagers, typically have higher premiums due to their lack of experience and higher risk of accidents. Older drivers may also see higher rates due to slower reaction times.

Gender: Statistically, men are more likely to be involved in accidents than women, which can result in higher premiums for male drivers, especially younger ones.

Marital Status: Married individuals often pay less for auto insurance because they are statistically less likely to be involved in accidents.

Occupation: Some occupations are seen as higher risk than others. For example, delivery drivers or individuals who spend a lot of time on the road may face higher premiums.

Location

Where you live and park your car can significantly impact your auto insurance costs. Insurers consider the following location-based factors:

Population Density: Urban areas with high traffic volumes and congestion typically have higher accident rates, leading to higher premiums.

Crime Rates: Areas with high rates of vehicle theft, vandalism, or other crimes can result in higher insurance costs.

Weather Conditions: Regions prone to severe weather events like hurricanes, hailstorms, or floods may see higher premiums due to the increased risk of damage.

Usage of the Vehicle

How you use your car is another critical factor in determining your auto insurance premium. Insurers assess risk based on the following usage-related aspects:

Mileage: The more you drive, the higher your risk of being involved in an accident. Low-mileage drivers often qualify for discounts.

Commute: If you use your car for commuting to work or school, your premium might be higher due to the increased time spent on the road.

Business Use: Vehicles used for business purposes, such as deliveries or client visits, may have higher premiums due to the increased risk.

Coverage and Deductibles

The type and amount of coverage you choose, as well as your deductibles, directly impact your auto insurance premium.

Coverage Limits: Higher coverage limits provide more protection but come with higher premiums. It’s essential to balance coverage needs with your budget.

Deductibles: A higher deductible means lower premiums, but you’ll pay more out of pocket in the event of a claim. Conversely, a lower deductible increases your premium but reduces out-of-pocket costs for claims.

Optional Coverages: Adding optional coverages like collision, comprehensive, uninsured/underinsured motorist, or roadside assistance will increase your premium.

Credit Score

In many states, insurers use credit scores as a factor in determining auto insurance premiums. A higher credit score can lead to lower premiums, while a lower score may result in higher costs. Insurers believe that individuals with higher credit scores are more likely to be responsible drivers.

Insurance History

Your history with previous insurers can also affect your premium. Insurers consider the following:

Lapse in Coverage: If you’ve had a lapse in your auto insurance coverage, even for a short period, you may face higher premiums. Continuous coverage indicates reliability and lower risk.

Previous Claims: Insurers may review your claims history with previous insurers to assess your risk. Frequent or significant claims can lead to higher premiums.

Discounts

Many insurers offer discounts that can help lower your auto insurance premium. It’s worth exploring which discounts you might qualify for, such as:

Multi-Policy Discount: Bundling your auto insurance with other policies like homeowners or renters insurance can result in discounts.

Good Driver Discount: Maintaining a clean driving record without accidents or violations can earn you a good driver discount.

Good Student Discount: Students with good grades may qualify for discounts.

Safety Features Discount: Vehicles equipped with advanced safety features may be eligible for discounts.

Low Mileage Discount: Driving fewer miles than average can earn you a low mileage discount.

Telematics and Usage-Based Insurance

Some insurers offer telematics or usage-based insurance programs that use technology to monitor your driving habits. These programs can adjust your premium based on factors like:

Driving Behavior: Safe driving habits, such as avoiding hard braking, speeding, and rapid acceleration, can lead to lower premiums.

Mileage: The actual number of miles you drive can impact your premium. Driving less can result in lower costs.

Understanding the various factors that determine your auto insurance premium can help you make informed decisions and potentially lower your costs. By maintaining a clean driving record, choosing a vehicle with advanced safety features, and taking advantage of available discounts, you can reduce your insurance expenses. Additionally, considering your personal factors, vehicle usage, and location can provide insights into why your premium is set at a particular level. Stay proactive, shop around, and regularly review your policy to ensure you’re getting the best possible rate for your auto insurance needs.

[sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face]

To this day, I still don't think people realize that addiction is a life-long disease. It never goes away. It doesn't matter if you've been clean for five years or even ten, twenty years, etc. Relapses happen more frequently than you think. The amount of shame we carry with each one only adds to the self-loathing, the helplessness of never escaping such a path of destruction. You can so easily slip and fall back into those patterns. It's frightening. And yes, it's our fault. But there's so many contributing factors. And it's not an excuse. If you're not properly equipped to deal with your emotions/life, you're fucked. You will travel through so many unhealthy avenues of being. We're not all fortunate to have mental health care. Sometimes it costs more than the drugs itself.

The reason I'm bringing this up, I'm struggling.

I've been sober from opiates since 2018.

Have I had mini relapses here and there, yep. But sometimes I'll pop other pills like they're candy. Sometimes my brain convinces me that I miss drugs, as if there are no consequences from being doped up. Being unconscious feels wonderful. Especially when life isn't so wonderful.

There's a quote echoing in my head, mostly as I continue to think about him, Matthew Perry once said "reality is an acquired taste."

I cannot sum it up any better than that. I wish I could hug another fellow recovering addict. It is so lonely and isolating to go through this alone and have literally no one around me that understands. I wish I wasn't so embarrassed to even share such thoughts on a public forum.

[delulluart]

do you have paper recommendations (for both drawings and watercolor paintings)? i want to get back into traditional art and don't really know were to start. also what pencils do you use? and watercolors? or do you use guache? what brushes should i get? sorry i know this is a lot of questions but it is a bit overhwhelming and i really liked you're ghost paintings 😊 and i don't want to buy bad things

oh dear, first of all: thank you, I'm very happy to hear you enjoy my silly stuff! And it is always great to hear people getting back to traditional art, since it seems like almost everyone is doing digital art exclusively these days (this is NOT me shitting on DA, i love you digital art people).

Anyway, yes, there's *a lot* of options out there and it is so, so important to get at least okay-ish quality equipment.

Paper

Paper is, in my opinion the most important factor, especially for watercolour works. switching to good quality paper was an absolute game changer - 0 exaggeration!

Watercolour paper:

I use mostly Hahnemühle Britannia 300g/m² cold pressed with matte surface. it comes with different surface options, depending on the effect you want (rougher surface etc., but i don't vibe with that). it is still relatively affordable, but still, hurts the bank account quite a bit.

If i want to go for some more silly stuff, i use Hahnemühle Burgund 250g/m². because it's thinner it is cheaper (you just can't put as much water and as many layers on it, which, for my use case is usually perfectly fine).

If i want to go full fancy I use the Hahnemühle mould made 300g/m². It's handmade paper, not from trees but with fabric, it is incredible how well the colours work on this stuff. Many people use Arches paper, but that is way too expensive for me. and I'm very happy with the Hahnemühle.

The difference between cheap as shit no-name watercolour paper and some good quality brand paper is, and I cannot express this enough, incredibly big. those ugly rims and splotches and uneven colour fades? that's the cheap paper's fault, not yours. It made me really desperate thinking I'm just too stupid for art, when it wasn't my fault.

For drawings I also use Hahnemühle:

my favourite is Skizze 190: very smooth surface, very white and very affordable!

another is Nostalgie: It feels even smoother in a different way, is less white. at first touch they seem identical, but handle very differently. this one is just as affordable as the Skizze 190 one.

Cheaping out on paper means you'll pay with happiness, really. save your nerves and motivation and spend the money on nice paper. trust me.

I'm not sure, Hahnemühle is available wherever you live, but go to an art supply store (a good one) and ask for help there!

Pencils

I exclusively use Staedtler Mars Lumograph pencils these days. They are very consistent in their...abrasion? there's no hard chunks in the lead, and they cost very little. They also have the Lumograph Black pencils which have a high charcoal level, which is super cool when you have very dark areas, because it won't get super shiny!

Watercolours

I got myself a set of Lukas Studio Watercolours and added a few more that i use often/ needed more than the ones already included in the set. They're not very expensive (compared to other big brands that everyone seems to use) and i like them. I never tried the expensive Windsor etc. paints, though. The price is very attractive and I never had any problems with them.

I also have a Gouache set that I got second hand from my sister by Caran d'Ache. I don't know whether it's good or not, because I rarely use it, mostly for accents on my watercolour paintings.

Brushes

until very recently I used rather cheap but good synthetic brushes for ethical reasons. I accidentally bought a natural hair one and it was....extremely good. With a heavy heart I now switched full time to much more expensive Kolinskis. Ethically this is an absolute nightmare and I will try to buy as few as possible and use them forever before buying new ones. But they are, unfortunately, much better. I wouldn't necessary recommend the brand I used because they're bad at keeping a tip, though.

But if you're just starting: go to an art supply store and get 3 synthetic ones in small, medium and slightly bigger with a nice tip and you'll be very happy for quite a while, i promise!

I also highly recommend getting a Pentel Aquash as a starting tool and for painting outside (don't buy a cheap fake, they're terrible)

alright, I hope i could answer your questions and if you (or anyone else) wants to know more, just ask :)

[queenjunoking]

Wolf Taming Pt 61

I could hear Frost breathing hard as the trainers fussed over her. I wanted to look back and see what happened, but the treadmill kept going. Clarity had set some automatic program I was helpless to stop. With her preoccupied there was no one to stop it.

All I could do was run and listen to them fuss over her. I could hear them asking her questions about the pain. One idiot even asked if she could move her ankle like there was any significant movement we could do in these damn boots.

“What happened?” The barn went quite again as Eos’s voice boomed through the room. The only noise came from me and others like me that were stuck running on a treadmill that wouldn’t let up. “I asked what happened!”

“Mistress Eos.” I could hear Natalie speak up. “We had a broken hoof situation on one of the stallions and I went over to assist. There were no trainers nearby. We heard a yelp and when we rushed over Frosthoof was on the ground.”

There was a tense moment of silence. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see what was happening behind me. I could only assume Eos was pissed off.

“Frosthoof?” I could hear Eos take a few more steps down Frost.

“I m-mistepped, Mistress Eos.” Frost said between deep breaths. “I lost my balance and I couldn’t recover.”

I was shocked. I assumed she was going to sell me out immediately as the one that was distracting her. Frost seemed to be Eos’s favorite, why take any blame?

“Hm…” I felt my chest tighten, Eos didn’t sound convinced.

I saw a gloved hand come into view and press a few buttons. The treadmill slowed down and eventually came to a stop. I was thankful I could finally stop running, my feet were killing me.

That gratitude came to an end as Eos walked in front of me. She was still dressed in that stupid horse riding outfit. It seemed pointless when there weren’t any actual horses here to ride.

“Callidora, you’re stationed next to Frosthoof. What happened?”

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Saying I was at fault could get Frost in trouble for lying as well as getting Lucky and Clover punished again. If I agreed with Frost and said that she simply tripped and it was found out I was lying Frost, Lucky, and Clover could still be punished. Who knew where microphones might be? There could be cameras everywhere. Why wouldn’t Eos have eyes on the entire farm?

I needed to split the difference.

“What she said is true, E-... Mistress Eos.” I decided to use her dumb title to hopefully work to smooth things over. “I heard her lose her balance and fall as her treadmill was slowing down.”

Her eyes were boring into mine. I wanted to match her energy and stare back, but deep down I knew the correct thing to do to try to keep defusing the situation. I broke eye contact and looked down at the floor.

“However, I had said something to her and caught her off guard. She may have tripped, but my words were the instigating factor.”

It was too late to take it back now. I had admitted fault. I could only hope that sharing the burden would save everyone from the full fury.

Before Eos could say anything the door to the room opened again. I could hear a few people entering. I wasn’t sure why there were here, but they came at a really bad time if they wanted to use the equipment.

“Mistress Eos.” An unfamiliar voice came from behind me. “We brought equipment for a transfer, would you like Frosthoof moved to a medical stall?”

Of course it was too much to ask that someone injured got to go into a normal room to get checked out. I wasn’t sure what kind of medical staff she had, but it unfortunately made far too much sense that they just shoved them into another set of stalls. I was surprised Eos could restrain herself enough not to call them vets.

“Yes, move her.”

Finally Eos moved out of sight. I could still feel her nearby, probably supervising the process. I could hear the noises of Frost’s outfit as she was probably placed onto a gurney or whatever they used to move her. It just felt like another insult to injury to have to listen to all the restraints rattling as she was carried away. Had Frost not been wearing these damn boots she wouldn’t be hurt.

Part of me had just expected Eos to leave with Frost. That was too much for me to hope for. I saw her hand come into view again, clipping a leash to the front of my harness. I felt someone messing with the restraints attached to the back of it, probably Clarity unhooking me.

“Lets go, Callidora.” Eos gave the leash a few tugs and began to walk.

Despite my deepest instincts telling me tackle her, I managed to just follow her out of the room and back into the hallway. The ones that took Frost were nowhere to be seen. Just the kind of efficiency expected when messing up could get your tied to a post and lashed.

“Honestly I’m surprised you have any kind of medical staff here.” I gave the minimum effort in keeping the bitterness out of my voice. Part of me wondered if the medical staff were slaves as well. Taken away from saving the lives of regular people to watch over her farm instead. “What’s going to happen to her? She going to get a chance to recover or are you just going to dump her because you’re allowed to do whatever you want with her?

“Callidora.” I could hear the rare bit of anger creeping into Clarity’s voice.

“I’m not a monster, Callidora.” Eos said without an ounce of self awareness. “Frost is a high performer and it would be stupid of me to just get rid of her. She’ll have her chance to recover and show she can still accomplish as much as she was before. Would your coach have made you run on a busted ankle?”

And there was the truth. Frost was one of her best racers. If these races were anything like regular horse racing then there was probably a gambling aspect. Frost was probably a source of income for her. There was no altruism for not immediately putting Frost somewhere worse on the farm. It was a good financial decision for her to see if Frost would recover.

“Being the cause of an injury to one of my best ponies really should be enough for me to punish Lucky and Clover again as I promised I’d do.”

“N- wait. You promise.” I felt my heart drop at her words. Her smile told me that she knew that would be my reaction.

“Yeah, yeah. I said if you were good they’d be fine. Despite it not being your place to tell Frosthoof about Ember’s fate, you weren’t bad per se.” I could see Eos was trying to formulate an idea that she could justify as fair. “Lucky and Clover are off the hook. For now. But if Frosthoof doesn’t recover they’ll pay. I’ll flip a coin. One will stay with you, the other will become a permanent decoration in the barn. If you think what you’ve seen is bad so far… well Callidora you haven’t seen how bad it can truly get. Many slaves would think you’re in paradise right now.”

I didn’t even want to think about how much worse things could get. Worse than human ponies. Worse than humans permanently bound in a barn and being milked for the rest of their lives. Worse than becoming some kind of permanent decoration? My mind only had so many ideas and the last hing I wanted to risk was giving them more.

I felt her finger push my chin up so I’d make eye contact with her again.

“Thank me for my generosity, Callidora.”

I only paused for a second, knowing better than to give her a reason to inflict more pain on those on her horrible farm. I tried to help Frost, spare her from being taunted with the information from someone like Jude. Instead all I did was seal the fate of either Lucky or Clover if she didn’t recover. Two more lives made worse by my actions.

“Thank you, Mistress Eos.” Her name stuck bitterly to my tongue.

“Good girl, Callidora.”

I seethed at the way she talked to me. Talking down to me like she thought she really was so much better than I was. Like she’d be able to protect herself if even a quarter of those here turned against her.

A few moments later we walked out of the barn and towards an unfamiliar path. Clarity had said we had some training regime but it seemed Eos didn’t particularly care.

“Where are we going?” I finally said, feeling annoyed that we were just walking off somewhere without indicating why we were leaving the barns.

“Clarity.” Eos sighed.

We stopped for a moment and Clarity held up my bit. “Please lean down, Callidora.”

My annoyance had apparently gotten my speaking “privileges” revoked. I bent down a bit and opened my mouth. There wasn’t much else I could do. Clarity placed it in my mouth and quickly tightened it. A bit more harshly than she had previously.

With Eos satisfied we continued our walk. I felt a little nervous as we hit a path going towards the woods. The last time we had taken a walk into the woods we had gone to the cow barn. That was in the other direction though.

“I told you that we generally punish others in the place of our best ponies. That ‘generally’ is important because there are tons of punishments we could inflict on our ponies if we wanted too. There are so many punishments that don’t physically hurt anyone.”

Our destination came into view. A row of something that resembled the frames the cow slaves had been locked in. There were eight of them. At the moment they were all empty.

“The idea for the cow slave frames came from there. Farmhands that don’t live up to expectations were once brought here and placed in these for a week.” She turned to me and had the gall to smirk. “Helped them realize there were worse things than having to work here. I have better methods now though.”

She pulled out a key and unlocked the frame. My heart sank as I realized what was about to happen.

“Call me sentimental, but I just couldn’t get rid of these. Instead they have a new purpose. They’re now here to give mares a taste of their own stupidity. Let them experience the cow life so they can make an informed decision about the fate they seem like they’re eager to have for reasons that escape me.” She stood aside and gestured towards the frame. “Step in Callidora. I suggest you listen or these frames might have two new permanent residents.”

Her threat stole the fight from me before I could even start. I stared at the frame for a few more seconds before I walked towards it. What else was I going to do? Run? Eos and Clarity would catch me. I was on a dirt trail in these boots.

There was a small piece of metal I knew I was supposed to lay across. When I did my neck was in the perfect position for a collar shaped piece of the frame to shut around it. Eos wasted no time closing that, already sealing my fate.

I had seen there was a part of the frame used to hold the arms, just like the frame in the cow barn, but with my arms already in a binder Clarity didn’t seem to bother with it. What she did was pull my legs far outwards and lock them in.

Laying like this made my tits hang off the seat. I was sitting like the cow slaves in the barn were. Uncomfortable, unable to escape, and with my tits out to be milked. In someways I knew I was more comfortable than they were. Those slaves were held but a series of chains, cuffs, and bars. They didn’t have the “luxury” of a plate to rest their body weight on. Something that had to be extremely painful on its own, but worse when subjected to whatever formula engorged their breasts.

“Callidora.” Eos spoke up, breaking the silence. I was unable to do anything but stare at the ground. It wasn’t like I could answer her. “I’m planning on having a race very soon with a very special prize. My recommendation for you is this. When I let you out of here I’d put my heart and soul into making sure you’re ready for it. Because if I don’t think you really want to be a pony, you’ll be going into the cow barn. I’m already fed up with you. You’ll be spending the rest of your life in a frame very similar to this one with nothing to do. No other ponies to talk to like you’ve gotten to do so far, the cows are gagged for a reason. Just mind numbing boredom.”

I saw Eos’s boots come into view. She knelt down and grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled, forcing my head up at far as the frame would allow.

“Your fate is entirely in your hands. You can do what you’re told and be rewarded or continue this attitude and get punished. You’re going to get a fun glimpse into what your life could be like if you keep messing up. Consider this your last chance to impress me.”

When she let go of my hair my head practically shot back down to the ground. My chest was tight with panic. When we were in the barn she hadn’t seen that upset, but now I knew she was simply keeping her emotions under control in front of her slaves. She had no issue letting me know how frustrated she was with me when there wasn’t anyone to see.

“Clarity, place these on her.” I heard a jiggle above me. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I knew it was going to be another punishment.

“Yes, Mistress Eos.”

I saw Clarity next to me with something in her hand. She placed a hand on my breast and I instinctively tried to pull away, but the frame held me still. A few moments later a stab of pain hit my nipple. As I tried to wiggle away from it there was just a chorus of jingling. While I was trying to figure out what was happening I felt a stabbing pain on my other nipple.

I felt like an idiot when I realized what they were. Nipple clamps with bells on them. I had seen various other pony slaves with them on. Usually the ones that were pulling a cart.

“No auto-milkers out here for you to wear for the next few hours. Maybe some clamps will do. If nothing else it’ll give you something to listen too.”

I watched Eos’s boot vanish as she walked behind me. A second later my backside exploded with pain as she hit my ass as hard as she could.

“Enjoy the peace of the woods, Callidora. Use this time to think wisely. There are two paths before you. Becoming a pony might be hard, but it's much more rewarding than the easy path. I have an open framing in the milking barn if you want it that bad though.”

I managed to hold myself together as they walked away, leaving me alone in the middle of the woods. Once I was by myself though I couldn’t stop myself from crying. Every sob and heave was accompanied by the mocking sound of a bell.

[bluemoonball]

Another November 2024 Post

I've little doubt that this will be remembered as one of the greatest self-humiliations that any country has ever engaged in. Nevertheless, there is a great deal of ruin in a nation, so we move on. We don't have a choice, you know.

There are at least three kinds of excusable motives for people. One is just being dumb as shit, and there's plenty of those. That's "he'll make the economy better" and so on. This is excusable inasmuch as it's driven by an entirely appropriate ignorance. Most people are dumb as shit, and that's not their fault; it's nothing immoral or sinful. In this system, people are supposed to be presented with two reasonable choices: go on as is, or do something else. This is precisely to account for people being morons; even morons are well equipped to decide if they like what's been happening or not. Morons who exert this basic form of democratic accountability are doing their job and can't be blamed. I think this is probably most voters on either side, and certainly most of those who swung. And really it's the party's fault for putting up an unacceptable, addled wannabe-dictator as the alternative.

The second kind of error is some kind of passionate principle or narrow interest. People who love money and hate regulation, or believe abortion is the greatest sin, or seek to punish the guy who tepidly supported Israel in its bombing. This is an error of principles. These principles are subjective, and while it's a poor idea to put them above the elementary social compact, most everyone has something they'd put above that compact--their family, their own skin, whatever. On some level, we ought to be humble enough to accept their choice of principle.

The third possibility is accelerationism. There are those who believe that the system is so broken that someone needs to smash it fully. They accept that this man is not only a piece of shit scumbag, but also incompetent and incontinent, but this is the tool they have. Arguably, some would say, only a person this warped and shriveled, this empty and cheap, this totally void, could do so. I think there's something to this view, and it is held by some intelligent people. This one is very excusable in some sense: I think the system we have is imperfect but very good and should be sustained (that is, I'm a conservative); they think it needs to be torn down in order to make progress (that is, they are progressive); and that's an instinct I can sympathize with.

By contrast, what I don't excuse is the plain old narrow sadism of trolls. One may feel resentment, one may genuinely be wronged, but to respond to it by giving in to your sadistic nature? That's the behavior of a villain, of Richard III. At its core is unformedness, immaturity, raw and tender self-obsession���"His Majesty, the baby." I also don't excuse delusion, which surely is a lot of it as well; Qanon or whatever. There's nothing to excuse when you're orthogonal to reality.

No doubt these factors are all mixed up in people, in reality, and so it would be more generous to excuse the majority in general. And so I will. But to understand and even excuse them means only not to blame them. It doesn't mean to shield them from the consequences of their actions, or to behave as though we're common citizens and need to row together now. We are not. They've made a category error. In each case, they have consciously or unconsciously, knowingly or unknowingly, made a value judgment that the fundament, the cornerstone, the centerpiece of our society—the principle imperfectly reflected in our Constitution, that power belongs to the people and so when the king loses, they leave—is less important to them than something else.

To my mind, this was clear enough the first time, but after January 6th, it's unconcealable. It shouts to the heavens. It's the Emperor's new clothes. To disregard what was done and what worse was attempted that day, well, that's their choice to make. But the response to that can no longer be persuasion, offers, and bargaining. The response to a fundamental irreconcilable difference is divorce, it's secession, it's annulment, it's contract-breaking, it's war.

At best, we are, unfortunately, cast in the role of a parent to a child. A wayward and obstreperous child who wants candy and wants his stomach to stop hurting and to stay up late playing video games all at once. We've tried to shield them from the consequences humanely, while being beset by a million other problems, as an adult is; of course it wasn't perfect, had many failings, but all in all it was a creditable adult effort, and it's been rewarded with another tantrum.

What is the response? It can only be to let the consequences hit. If amelioration doesn't work, the next move is our own accelerationism. The tat of the tit-for-tat has to come out of the sack, and this time we should do what we can to push it along. We don't need to take any joy in this, and probably shouldn't, but if they insist on eating candy despite being warned that they'll shit their guts out, then the thing to do is to hand over the candy and a bucket and leave the room.

Give it to them good. Let them have what they asked for, as hard as they asked for it, or harder. Innocent people will be caught up in the crossfire and that is unfortunate, but that is why war is bad.

With malice towards none is always a sound principle. With charity towards all is a good one that will have to wait. No charity, no succor, no aid, no sympathy other than in private; no bandages, no insurance, no safety, no sanctuary. No mercy. Let 'em all hang; I'll see them in four years, and we'll all see how they've reaped in that time.

[thedarkbringer]

Jsyk those ppl that think ppl in the south have "the easy life on a little farm milking cows and feeding chicks and taking care of their bazillion kids and being racist all the time with no exceptions because they're stupid!!!" Are DELUSIONAL. Farming in any capacity and keeping livestock is NOT a cottagecore pinterest board, and while there are a LOT of issues out here, we are still people, and we are working as hard as anyone else.

Rant under the cut bc yall piss me off.

Some cows will hate your guts and literally bully you. Chickens and roosters can and probably will attack you and your children. If its a bigger farm with big equipment like tractors... hoo boy.

A kid got sucked into a tractor combine and DIED at my old school. And the son of my current principal lost a leg in another farming accident. There are very few hospitals where I live and most farms are in a place where, if you mess up and throw something out of place or break a bone, nobody will hear you scream.

Im not trying to sound edgy, but we dont live an "easy simple life!" It can be genuinely hard and scary even without outside factors (rabid animals, floods, tornadoes are common in my area, and sometimes the main road to town is just completely unusable. We arent stranded but it would take hours to get to civilization if there was an emergency.) And that's just the part about work ethic!

We are not "simple people" because we are farmers who live in the middle of nowhere. It doesn't make our lives inherently easier and it doesn't make us inherently stupid and racist. Those are nasty ass stereotypes. People in the south work just as hard as you do, and if you think we are any lesser just because of where we live, you need to check yourself and stop being classist weirdos.

When I look at the people around me I see victims of the class struggle that don't even know it. Our schools are underfunded tk no fault of our own, with my last school being a rat and roach infested k-12 with no budget at all placed RIGHT NEAR A PRISON.

We are almost all horribly traumatized in one way or another because, again, there aren't many hospitals around and people watch their family members die more than you would think because of the afformentioned farming accidents and other various issues around here.

We have been utterly failed in so many ways and I am so sick of people pointing and laughing at my neighbors and family and friends because they're all supposedly homophobic and racist and horrible. Yes there are problems out here but by outright despising us you are literally not helping anyone and making everyone down here feel MORE alienated than they already do from people up north and on the coasts. We are all people too, JFC.

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Why be a writer if you’re not equipped for it ? No shade but if it isn’t something you can consistently do or even have enough interest in to get something done why do it? You’re wasting your own time and energy trying to get something accomplished knowing it doesn’t fit your schedule

Hello, yes, some people do things because they enjoy it regardless of other factors. Enjoyment is reason enough to do something.

And I have plenty of interest in it, writing has been the only consistent interest I've had for now half of my life so interest isn't my issue at all.

Some people have troubles doing things they love out of no fault of their own, often due to disabilities or mental health.

I would both appreciate and advise that you do not send messages like this to anyone again, you never know what someone's situations and what kind of nerve you may hit by essentially telling someone to give up doing a hobby they enjoy.

And as I upload my writing on the internet for others without earning a single penny from it, I think it's rather obvious that I enjoy writing like all fanfiction writers do. I downplay my struggles a lot and make jokes out of things but it doesn't mean I want to quit or don't enjoy it.

I don't know what your intention was here exactly, if you're genuinely trying to get me to give up writing, or trying to understand, or something else, but if you're trying to understand, you should really be more polite and consider your wording better in the future.

I won't respond to another ask like this and I'm pretty sure I haven't even explained myself properly because I genuinely struggle with getting my thoughts out in a way others understand, but if anyone does send anything along these lines again, I'll delete it.

[felinefractious]

To be interested in a particular breed and purchasing from a reputable breeder is not the same as looking for a “perfect” pet.

It is not treating animals as a “product” to desire a particular temperament, trait or health screening anymore than it’s treating adoptable cats as products to look for a particular age, trait, sex, color or the many other criteria adopters often consider.

I can and will argue, on a practical level, that reputable breeders and those who purchase from them are not taking away homes from shelter cats. Perhaps the individual would adopt if their purebred of choice wasn’t available and perhaps they would not, but as stated before their home is not owed to any individual animal.

Their home is not already “spoken for” by a shelter pet and a purebred cat is not taking away a home that rightfully belongs to the rescue cat because it does not belong to them. The only time a home is owed to a particular animal is when the people who reside there make the decision to take on the commitment of said animal.

The previous addition has a very good point.

After my 18 year old cat passed I wanted to adopt another older cat. I consider his later years to be some of the best I’d spent with him and I wanted to give that to another senior.

A 7 year old caught my eye, mature but not quite senior… still in the less adoptable age range, though. I won’t go into details but despite being approved the rescue gave me the runaround and wasn’t being communicative.

I saw a different cat available for adoption through a different organization during this time and decided to meet him. He was estimated at 2.5 years which… is younger than I had planned to adopt, yes, but was still an adult. Just a young adult.

I specifically did not want a kitten because I was not confident I could keep up with their energy and keep them entertained.

The rescue appeared to have estimated the age very incorrectly, though… based on his weight at adoption, growth rate and quality of his teeth he was probably closer to 9 months when I brought him home.

It showed.

Even now he is all over the place, he doesn’t stop moving and he gets into everything. I do not have a single space in my living area that is solely mine and off limits to him, gradually I had to make more and more spaces cat safe because he would get into them one way or another.

I love him to pieces and wouldn’t trade him for anything but if someone else adopted him in a similar situation… they very well may have returned them, which I couldn’t fault them for. He is a tremendous handful and someone looking for an adult or senior cat may not be equipped to handle his behavior due to space, amount of time at work, or other factors.

If I had purchased a cat from a breeder they would have definitively known the cats age, though, and the activity level would be more predictable. If I purchased a retired British Shorthair stud, for example, I could be confident that I was getting a mellow cat of the advertised age.

Your average shelter cat absolutely can differ greatly from your pedigree cat in a variety of ways. I feel like people who believe otherwise lack personal experience with pedigree cats. Due to my work I encounter them frequently and I assure you the difference is clear.

As for vanity… I’m not sure where you got that from. The majority of people looking for a purebred are looking for a pet, for a family member - the same thing that people looking to adopt want. A companion.

Sure, there are people who want a pedigree cat for other reasons but a reputable breeder - and that’s all I’m discussing here, I’m sure we’re in agreement about backyard breeders - won’t sell a cat to an unfit home. This includes a home that desires a status symbol and not a pet.

Honestly I feel like the opposite can be considered true to a degree, as people with adopted or rescue cats often seem to need their cat to be something special. They can’t accept their cat is a Domestic Longhair he must be part Maine Coon. They can’t just have a Domestic Shorthair it has to be a Russian Blue, and G-d help you if you try to tell them otherwise!

hi, you say you put links relating to health issues common with certain breeds, why do Persians, Exotic & British Shorthairs, other flat-faced breeds not have one? maybe I'm wrong but I thought they're pretty well known to have breathing and oral problems? /genq

There are different grades of brachycephaly and moderate - severe is generally where we see significant issues.

An appropriately bred British Shorthair (and similar breeds) shouldn’t present with a degree worse than mild… although unfortunately there are breeders who breed for extremes or overlook them in pursuit of a different desireable trait (looking at you dominant blue eye).

But the reason I don’t include a link to relevant cats is because I didn’t feel comfortable deciding where the line was for me to include a link.

This British Shorthair [source] has a nice muzzle length and well-balanced features. I wouldn’t say it’s much more severe than this Ragdoll [source].

Or what about breeds that aren’t brachycephalic per their standard, like the Devon Rex [source] but some breeders [source] are selecting for that extreme type anyways?

With the other breeds the issue is universally relevant, there is no room for me to make a decision on which individuals to mention it om and which deserve a pass.

Brachycephaly is horrible and those who breed these sickly cats are rotten but it’s an issue that can be worked out with ethical breeding. We can breed for longer muzzles and retain other breed traits.

The same can’t be said for the sebaceous cysts in Lykoi which are directly due to the abnormal formation of their skin responsible for the signature werewolf look. The same can’t be said for the Scottish Fold whose folded ears are exclusively caused by defective, weakened cartilage that effects their entire body not just the ears.

[timemachineyeah]

We don’t talk enough about the systemic health effects of casual fatphobia and how much they fucking skew the data to the point where we literally cannot know how much outcomes are actually related to fatness and how much they are related to society not being designed for fat people, like literal design.

My best friend cannot find a bra.

She’s fat. We won’t get into the ~why~ here because it honestly wouldn’t matter whether it was “all her fault” or whether it was a result of outside forces like genes and such, she still deserves a goddamn fucking bra that fits.

And she cannot find a bra.

She’s short and fat, and Fat Bras are usually full cup, but because she’s short the full cups are usually too tall, or the armbands around them are too tall, to the point where what’ll fit around her chest and over her boobs will also dig up into her arms or have such high coverage that she literally cannot wear a shirt with a neckline high enough. Any bra that goes out enough goes too high.

This affects her ability to find clothing, impacting her ability to go outside sometimes, because she has this tiny selection of bras and she constantly has to wash them and when they’re gone she has no idea when she’ll next be able to find another unicorn bra. They appear in a flash usually in startups that die soon after, and COVID has killed most the small businesses remaining where she had even a hint of a chance of finding a fitting bra.

So she wears bras that don’t fit. Or she doesn’t leave the house. One gives her back pain. The other is, obviously, not very active. She likes to be active.

If she brings it up, people suggest breast reduction surgery.

But the thing is, with a good bra, she does not get back pain.

But if it’s that hard to find a good bra, they say, wouldn’t a reduction just be easier?

Wouldn’t it be easier for you to chop off part of your flesh, they say, then for us to cut fabric and underwire to more sizes? As if that is normal. As if that isn’t horrifying.

It’s not just bras. It’s chairs. It’s benches. It’s goddamn shoes. It’s seatbelts. It’s exercise equipment - I just got an exercise bike for Christmas. I had to shop around to find an affordable one that was also rated to take my level of fat. If I were 100 pounds heavier, which some people are? I don’t think any equipment would have existed in a price range that any working person could expect to afford. I don’t think most people even look at the weight ratings on chairs and couches and furniture. Once you start? They are lower than you think. There are absolutely 100% people you love in your life - whether really tall men or just average kinda overweight fat people - who should not be using the things they are using. Who are not getting support from their mattress, their footwear, their office chair. It might be you! You might be thinking “but I am average size!”, but the amount of furniture out there that’s only weighted to about 200lbs? Or 175??? It’s SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU REALIZE. Get into the Proper Fat? The 350lb, 400lb, 500lb fat? There’s virtually nothing.

Seatbelts are not tested for fat bodies and seatbelt extenders aren’t regulated.

We know about the problems with too small a blood pressure cuff. With too low a medicine dose. With no MRI a really fat body can fit in for a thousand miles.

We know, from multiple studies on multiple oppressed communities, that social bias by itself, with zero other compounding factors, can give people worse health outcomes.

Now add up

+ one of the social biases with the least pushback even from the educated liberal set with

+ having a world that is literally not made for you. Where you cannot get clothes, furniture, or transportation in a way that will actually accommodate you,

+ where society is constantly blaming you for this. And even if you somehow (and if you know how, please tell me) manage to retain some sense of self worth and optimism and determination despite all that

+ that’s not gonna magically give you access to the daily supplies a person needs in their home and out in public that’ll make living safe and healthy life literally physically possible.

If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health start a bra company. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health mandate changes to seatbelt requirements. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health have a variety of chairs in your waiting room with at least some being properly Fat Rated. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health, make it easier for fat people to be active by making exercise equipment that fits them, swimwear that’ll actually stay on them, athletic shoes that can bear them. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health ask they be included in more medical trials. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health, promote fat visibility and fat people loving their bodies - because hating yourself has literally never been good for anyone’s health.

If you’re using “concern for health” as a shield to allow you to judge and criticize strangers, you don’t give a fuck about anyone’s health. You’re just an asshole who prefers a veneer of respectability when you bully people. You’re hateful and we can see right through you.

But fatphobia isn’t just bullying. It isn’t just judgment from strangers. It isn’t just medical neglect and medical bias. Even if we could wave a wand and make all that go away, my best friend still wouldn’t have a bra that fits, people still wouldn’t have a chair that supports them, a seatbelt that protects them. It’s literally engineered in. And it slowly kills people day by day by day.

[simonalkenmayer]

Specific types of abuse and how and why Tumblr allows it to occur

DARVO is a an acronym for Deny Attack Reverse Victim and Offender. It’s not the only tactic most bullies/abusers will use, but it is a very tricky one. Why? Because on the surface it looks like a normal reaction.

Let’s say someone accuses you of something you know you didn’t do. First you would deny it happened. If the person persisted in saying the lie, you might lash out at them. After a while, you might more overtly say “I’m the victim here” these are natural reactions.

But DARVO is different for two reasons. An abuser will use it for any and all encounters that question them in any way. It can be something as small as “I noticed you haven’t finished that project.” Or “Hey were you going to wash up the dishes…” The other factor is that it will happen in the blink of an eye. Not over time, but usually in one single conversation.

“I wasn’t asked to do the dishes! It was your job! It’s really awful you’d even ask me to! You know I have had a hard day”

“That wasn’t my project! It was Tom’s and it’s your fault for not managing it properly. I can’t believe you’d blame us.”

It’s similar and in some cases even qualifies as gaslighting, because it performs a sort of dynamical tailspin to the recipient, who is no longer certain where they stand and why fault is even an issue. Most people don’t focus on blame or fault finding. They focus on accomplishing whatever must be accomplished, but narcissistic abusers fixate on blame, because they cannot tolerate it.

Often the Reverse Victim and Offender aspect of the conversation is incredibly hostile. It will include the same “word salad” that is meant to confuse, as the bully attempts to work out what to say. It may include counter-accusations, dog whistles, things designed to further aggravate in order to cause the victim to overreact so that they can be gaslit and called irrational. It may also include referring to events that either didn’t happen, or didn’t happen in that way.

This tactic is used to also deny the abuse and make the victim responsible for it. “I never treated you badly. You’re just a terrible person. And I wouldn’t have to handle you this way if you weren’t such an idiot.” It’s an incredibly toxic behavior and often is paired with sudden, violent mood swings. These mood swings typically occur at the first hint of frustration.

In online settings, DARVO usually makes an appearance alongside false virtue signaling. In order to actually appear above reproach, and not merely another troll (which has become fairly common and is usually dealt with by most) the abuser has to make an accusation of wrongdoing. It doesn’t matter if the accusation is true or not, because even if it is verifiably false, studies show people will still react negatively or ostracize the person accused, simply to avoid conflict. To the victim, it can also feel extremely upsetting and cause fear, especially if that victim sees their online peer group as being incredibly important. It can trigger the same stress response as an actual fight, and can cause the person to leave the internet space, apologize, beg for forgiveness, even fake their own death or some other preposterous response (part of my data set is stories of online bullying people have endured). Adolescents who now interact heavily online, face unbelievable social pressure via internet spaces, and to them these kind of manipulations can cause extreme trauma. Some even lead to suicide or violence.

In terms of features the platforms provide to protect users from these types of abuse, this platform and others like it are woefully equipped. In some cases, features actually make the risk of bullying far higher. One such feature here is the Anonymous Ask feature. It shouldn’t exist. There was no reason for it to exist. The app argues it was set in place to foster discussion and reaching out to people in a more safe way. But that isn’t true. The only reason to be anonymous is to avoid retribution or association. In other words, if a person sends an innocuous question to my anonymous ask box, they are doing so because they worry about backlash, which means that they perceive the app to either be poorly policed, or unsafe. The anonymous ask feature is almost as welcoming as a door mat for any abusive person who wishes to make accusations. But like Facebook, who knew its algorithm pushed extremist content and left it to do that for the sake of driving revenue, Tumblr allows these features to exist for just that purpose. The longer the drama goes on, the more people remain glued to their machines, and the more revenue comes in. Capitalism, pure and simple.

You might say that the victim doesn’t have to post the ask, and you’d be right, they could ignore it, but my work here shows there is a tremendous social pressure put on the victim’s psychology. If one person can ask the question, the perception is that more might be asking it. The victim feels the need to defend against what could be a common perception about them. This is made even worse if one person sends multiple asks or creates shadow accounts to get past the block feature. One incident alone saw 15 anonymous asks made, all coming from the same IP address. All were constructed differently, all with different punctuation and different spelling errors. But every message contained the same erroneous accusation—a dog whistle for Social Justice activists.

To the average person, particularly an adolescent, that kind of inundation would create the false impression that an entire group believes this about them. They’d feel pressured to respond. However once they do, it will not stop there. When the victim says “I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me” the offender will use all the same tactics to reverse victim and offender. A good example of this would be a toxic narcissist, employing these tactics, to call someone ableist for pointing out narcissistic qualities or abuse. Case in point. Manipulation and bullying make you precisely the problem, and ableism isn’t the same as an accurate warning. That one word “ableist”, is a whistle, and it triggers people in the group to ostracize even when they don’t believe it to be true.

The urge to conform is great, and DARVO employed online, coupled with accusations and platform features that allow true anonymity, can sway an entire group in one single interaction.

[slasherholic]

Essay: The Impact of Smith’s Grove on Michael Myers’ Antisocial Tendencies

-warning: personal opinion and headcanons ahead!-

The topic has been on my mind tonight, so naturally, my thoughts have culminated in an unnecessarily lengthy essay :)

I’ll preface this by saying Michael’s time at Smith’s Grove undoubtedly contributed to the severity of his antisocial behaviors. While temporary hospitalization was likely the right course of action for him after Judith’s murder, under no circumstances would it have been beneficial for his development to spend his entire childhood at an institute for the criminally insane. It would seem that, ultimately, (and almost certainly in part due to the recommendations of Sam Loomis,) Michael was “forgotten by the system” and doomed from the beginning to become just another statistic.

Let’s make something clear, though: Michael’s lack of empathy was not caused by Smith’s Grove. Michael’s sadistic personality was not caused by Smith’s Grove. These are inherent biological factors. It may seem harsh to label a child with such a serious, seemingly adult condition, but Conduct Disorder is a very real occurrence.

Of course, that isn’t at all to say that Judith’s murder was Michael’s fault.

Due both to the severity of Michael’s disorder, and his young age, he would not have been able to internalize why cruelty to others and outright murder was considered “wrong” by society.

Yes, he probably had adults talking at him all day about why it wasn’t okay to bully kids in school, or throw rocks at dogs, or cut up all of Judith’s toys; but ultimately, little Mikey lacked the cognitive function that would be developing in a “typical” brain to ascertain morally right behaviors from morally wrong ones. In short, all that adult talk was just obnoxious nagging that went in one ear and right out the other.

Alright, there’s my rambling and obligatory “it’s very not groovy to fling around unfounded and damaging labels such as ableist” (I’m a mentally ill individual myself, thanks 😎👉) out of the way. On to the actual topic of this essay weeeee

Also! Due to the very limited knowledge we have about Michael’s character, here is where things get quite headcanon-y--so please, dip out now if you are bothered by that.

Smith’s Grove ultimately failed Michael for a multitude of reasons. Psychiatry at the time was ill-equipped to deal with the severity of a disorder such as his, and to worsen matters, those in charge of his care were never able to achieve a break-through with him during the course of his treatment. (This includes Loomis, yes, but I highly doubt that it was strictly limited to Loomis—I do not think it’s responsible to pin all of the blame on a single psychiatrist. I will go more into detail about what Loomis is responsible for in another essay.)

The core issue, however, is this: from little Mikey’s point of view, the staff of Smith’s Grove were never there to “help him.” These adults were merely the people keeping him locked up in an unstimulating environment, making him swallow gross pills, and trying to lecture him about things that he really didn’t care about. He wanted out.

However, thanks to the naivety of psychiatry at the time—and with good intentions in mind, albeit very misplaced—the people in charge were not about to let him out into, say, some sort of outpatient program.

Michael picked up on this fact quickly. And the effects it wreaked on his attitude toward other people as a whole were catastrophic.

Because of this deeply-rooted frustration toward his confinement, I have no doubt that little Michael would have come to resent the staff of Smith’s Grove—his psychiatrist included—and the institution altogether. In his worldview, every single person now involved in his life was guilty of being an utter jackass, unworthy of his respect, unworthy of his cooperation.

This was the catalyst that led Michael to voluntarily stop communicating.

Think about it—engaging with the staff was ultimately not something that could be forced on Michael. His refusal to cooperate became the single aspect of his life that he still held some semblance of personal control over. Doctors could talk at him all they wanted, but at the end of the day, he didn’t have to listen, nor react; so, he didn’t.

Michael’s refusal to communicate was likely done sheerly out of frustration and a desire to be defiant—that is, until he was mature enough to realize how he could use the behavior to slip gracefully under the radar, and be forgotten about. His next decade was set to be spent perfecting his act of docility, biding his time, and waiting for the day when he could free himself on his own terms.

But by then, the irreversible damage to his social proclivity was done; and any hope of him cooperating in his treatment was long gone.

Michael had long-since internalized the idea that communication with others was not a worthwhile use of his energy. In little Mikey’s mind, having no desire to engage socially with those in his environment, no inherent need or longing to seek out friendly interactions, and a very low opinion of practically everybody, other people were now useful only as tools.

This mindset of his was strongly reinforced as his libido developed—at which point he discovered that cruelty to others wasn’t just entertaining, it also made him feel good in a different way. Essentially, as Michael matured into adulthood, his “people are nothing more than toys and tools” mentality had become too deeply rooted in his psyche to ever realistically be rectified.

Now, consider a perfect world: a world in which Michael hadn’t been left a permanent inpatient. A world where instead, he was released back to his family within a year. A world where he had been taught healthy and effective mechanisms to cope with his impulses.

Even in this ideal situation, I feel it would be unmindful of me to make any sort of claim that Michael absolutely would not still be engaging in criminal activity—murder possibly included.

Upon his escape from Smith’s Grove, Michael, a perfectly sane adult, (ASPD is not a psychotic disorder,) who now knows that murder is wrong by societal standards, who now understands the gravity of his actions and the potential repercussions he faces, whether out of impulse, sexual desire, sheer boredom, or any combination of the three—still opts to kill people.

Michael could have disappeared after his escape. I am confident that he is both intelligent and perceptive enough that if he really felt like it, he could have picked up on the skills needed to at the very least “blend in” with society. He could have faded into obscurity in the public eye, and that would have been the end of it. It would not have been a “normal” life, but it might have been something bordering on functional.

Instead, he murdered four people.

Let me emphasize: when Michael finally got free, rather than doing literally anything besides murder, Michael went out of his way to commit even more murders.

To conclude, yes; institutional misconduct worsened the severity of Michael’s antisocial tendencies and stole from him any chance he might have had at living a “normal” life.

However, Michael’s crimes as an adult are inexcusable, and despite the very real mistreatment he faced at the hands of an authority, he absolutely deserves to be held responsible for his actions in the original Halloween.