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srbachchan · 2 years ago

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DAY 5473

Jalsa, Mumbai Feb 9/10, 2023 Thu/Fri 9:40 AM

🪔 .. February 10 ..

birthday

joys to

Ef Rahul Sen

, from The City Of Joy , Kolkata .. prayers and wellbeing .. 🌿🙏🏻🚩

.. and the affection of togetherness to

Ef Anat and her husband Daniel

.. for their 21st wedding anniversary on Feb 10 .. 💍💕 .. mazal tov ..

It is conformed fact that the night of correctness of slumber does indeed bring the life and will and energy to face another day with endeavour and the strength of body .. suddenly the weak outlook of the previous days evaporates in the mist of opportunity and gives another dimension to the 24 hrs that you have been introduced to ..

And thus the extended slumber , just like the extended family is relentless in its presence with the energy and the rested will for the day ahead ..

The assist that is needed to manage is of prime .. directions to be taken to address the various avenues that erupt each hour , need attention in some order and professionalism ..

Personnel required for such a device is of importance .. the trust the knowledge the know how to give comfort and allegiance to the employer becomes primary .. the search for this , is another challenge ..

Some are most qualified and equipped to assess the possibilities and deliver the right choice and people to attend to the requirements .. most are not .. and yours truly falls in that category ..

It is most difficult to get the right person for the right job .. but when they are chosen they deliver to the satisfaction of the need and that is an added advantage ..

Some of the Ef have these qualaities and are most proficient , and one admires them and lauds their voluntary efforts .. I thank them for their design of inputs they give to make my life a lot easier - well life is never easy, but still ..

So .. there was talk the other day of decision , and the faults that your Blogmaester has in not being able to equip himself with that most essential quality of existence ..

The suffering is still there .. the need most .. and the inadequacy is most prevailent .. but what is a day without unfulfilled desire .. unfulfilled work .. unfulfilled destined path ..

And ..

We labour , and face with sufficient rectitude the storms that blow before and above us , with fortitude and the strength of belief and prayer ..

Work has taken a while to formulate ..

But , with the hope and profess of many , hopefully it shall soon be formative .. unknown and uncertainty not withstanding ..

A lot has been given to read and assess .. the scripts and facts of what the nature of the work should be .. and that is to be decided .. decided yes, another factor of decision making .. but we shall make efforts and bring all the creative intellect , limited in its being, before us and move ahead .. with of course the blessings of you and many like you .. 🙏 ..

There are many desired inclinations of many to spend time with them, to be present to present myself and my story of life ..

This is a matter of great mirth ..

My story and my life ..?

It is of no value to be shared or given in a standing of learning for another, as they that come forward , put it .. its an embarrassement for me .. unqulified altogether ..

NO ..

I am incapable of doing so , or even attempting to accept such promulgations ..

I am content with what the Ef gives .. what the common man sees and acknowledges .. what the audience see and react .. that is enough .. the profession is professed and assessed by they for whom it has been professed .. that is all .. do not try to attach more than that , bevcause there is none more ..

End of argument ..

End of the DAY today

Love hope and will to all .. ❤️❤️❤️🌹

Amitabh Bachchan

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pigeonwhumps · 1 year ago

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Hospital stay

Immortal Cannon Fodder masterlist

Taglist: @extrabitterbrain @wolfeyedwitch @whumpinggrounds @painful-pooch

Whumptember day 28: "I never should have let it come this far" | failed hero | hospital stay | begging for help

Set in the future, when Phoenix has been with Kai's team a while. After being kidnapped together and tortured for, Phoenix and Aaron have been rescued, Kai injured while doing so.

Joseph belongs to @i-eat-worlds, from their story Alex and Friends. Please go read it if you haven't yet!

1.5k

CWs: immortal whumpee, hero whump, caretaker turned whumpee, trans whumpee, mentions of superpower overuse, mentions of waterboarding and whipping, past torture, medical setting, coma, low self-esteem, self-degradation, wish to have committed self sacrifice, something that could potentially come across as a death wish but isn't, past self sacrifice, emeto, past temporary character death, past whump reveal (I guess? Idk how to label it)

Phoenix blinks back tears as they watch Aaron, still and silent in the medbay bed in front of them. He's lying on his stomach, trailing with monitors and IVs and all manner of medical equipment, swathed in bandages. They should've done better. They should be there instead of Aaron, but their stupid healing factor, their immortality that's been so useful in the past, means that he was the one who almost died.

It's not fair. He could've escaped if it wasn't for them. But they're stupid and they failed, and now people are worried about them, too.

"They're definitely out of the coma?" whispers Phoenix to the nurse currently taking Aaron's vitals.

"Yes. Just asleep now. They're safe, everyone is."

"It's my fault."

"No. No, it's not, kiddo."

"It *is*. They used me to control him, he could've, um, escaped. And to check they were right. If I'd died quicker then he would've been less hurt, I should've, um, I should've–"

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare talk about yourself like that."

Phoenix blinks, then bursts into tears. The nurse is so fierce.

"Why do you care? Aaron's yours, I got him hurt, you should–"

A hand falls onto their shoulder. "Do you think that after what we've seen of you over the past few years, how much you've helped, how much you've hurt, do you honestly think that we wouldn't care for you too?"

Phoenix cries. They watch Aaron's too-still body and they cry. Everyone else shouldn't care. But as they watch the nurse tend to Aaron, they can't bring themself to point it out again.

"You're sure they'll, um, they'll be okay?"

"Yes. He's recovering nicely. They should be awake in about six to twelve hours."

They're still too bandaged, too still, too too too, too little Aaron in there. Phoenix tries to comfort themself with the thought that he'll be awake soon, but it doesn't help much. What if he doesn't want to see them again? It's all their fault. They're a failure of a hero, a useless, stupid–

"Hey. Whatever you're thinking, that's enough. Joseph's sent you another cat meme if you want a distraction. Are you in pain?"

The answer is yes, everywhere still aches and hurts whenever they shift (and when they don't), but they can't say that. They know why the nurse is asking. But they're a waste of resources and they deserve this anyway.

"No, sir."

"Are you saying no because you really aren't in pain or because you don't want painkillers? I have standing orders from Aaron to remind you that, although you can of course refuse medication, it's perfectly fine to take painkillers or anything else and it's not a waste of resources."

"I'm, um, I'm okay without, sir," murmurs Phoenix, unsure whether they want the nurse to call them out on it or not. She sighs knowingly.

"Alright. Let me know if you need any. Do you want to see Joseph's cat meme?"

Phoenix nods. "Please. And, um, can I move over to Kai's bed? It's, um, it's his turn."

"Of course."

The nurse fetches Phoenix's phone and wheels them over to Kai's bed, then adjusts their saline IV.

"We'll start you off trying to drink again soon. No water for a while yet though."

Phoenix nods, feeling a burning shame. There's no physical reason they can't drink, they're fine. But mentally...

Mentally, they've spent too long without Kai or Aaron reassuring them on anything, and they didn't realise just how much they relied on that. They're useless on their own.

They clutch Mr Frosty to their chest, smiling weakly at Joseph's new message and making sure to reply. They barely see it, but they know now that he'll worry if they don't answer for too long.

It's their daily cat photo. They don't know what they ever did to deserve Joseph.

They slide their phone onto their lap and sink their chin down onto Mr Frosty's head, observing Kai. He's unconscious too, but a lot of that's because he overused his powers. The medics weren't worried about his unconsciousness so much as the stab wound.

Kai looks peaceful. Phoenix isn't sure if that's true.

They look between their two best friends and guilt wells up inside them. Guilt, and grief for something unknown, bubbling over like an old stone well, overflowing and unstoppable. They've both been hurt, everyone's been hurt, because of them.

"I wish I'd been tortured instead of Aaron," murmurs Phoenix, stroking Mr Frosty's fur. "He didn't deserve it. But it's partly so I wouldn't have to watch, so maybe that makes me selfish. What do you think, Mr Frosty?"

"Mr Frosty thinks you shouldn't be so hard on yourself," croaks a voice from the closest bed, and Phoenix looks up, heart in their throat, to see Kai squinting at them.

"Kai! You're awake! Oh." They press a small red button on the side of Kai's bed. "The nurse said to call if you woke."

"How long have I been out?" he asks weakly, as Phoenix helps him with a sippy cup of water.

"A few days? Not entirely sure," they reply quietly. "I was unconscious too for some of it."

Kai tries to sit up, a concerned look on his face, but he can't manage it. "Are you okay? I thought you'd be healing faster, what's wrong?"

"Dehydration, mostly. I'm fine." Kai's gaze flickers pointedly to the IV line in their arm and back, and they sigh. Can't Kai ever miss anything? "I'm... struggling to drink, after... well. It's simpler this way." Phoenix hesitates, and then reaches out a hand hopefully, laying it on top of Kai's uninjured one. Kai turns his own over and squeezes it gently.

Kai's hand is rough, and warm, and large, and it fills Phoenix with relief, to be able to hold it again.

"Where's Aaron? How are they holding up? I don't remember that well but I'm pretty sure they were in bad shape."

Phoenix's eyes dart to the next bed, and Kai struggles in another fruitless attempt to sit up.

"He... he, um, he took the last whipping for me. After everything else he took it, I don't know why, I'm, um, I'm immortal, I'd have been fine, but he– anyway, they're, um, they're out of the induced coma now. Asleep. They're healing. I've, um, been switching between you."

Phoenix is dreading the point where they have to find out exactly how bad things are, how much Aaron hates them now, but they know they deserve it.

"Okay. Phoenix? Firstly, being whipped and waterboarded counts as torture, yes, to you too. Stop being mean to yourself."

Phoenix frowns. "How do you, um, know about the waterboarding?"

Kai squeezes their hand. "They sent videos. To anyone who might care that they had you both. Our team, Joseph, Electrocus, Aisling and Gemma... and Aaron's parents and Alicia. Nobody's told you, huh?"

Phoenix shakes their head, but everything's muted, like they're underwater. They're drowning and they have no idea how to come up for air.

They understand why no-one would tell them. Everyone knowing... that's far too much for their mind to hold.

They gasp, trying to grasp onto something, anything, looking for a lifeline their mind can hold. Everyone knowing...

And they don't even know how much.

"My... my parents?"

"No idea. We haven't contacted them, they haven't contacted us. If they know they're not saying. But no-one can share either of your identities further."

Phoenix takes a deep breath, trying to steady themself. This means Aaron doesn't know either.

Of course he doesn't. Of course he wouldn't. He hasn't woken since the rescue.

"Stop, um, stop trying to reassure me when you were stabbed."

"Then stop claiming you weren't tortured."

"Wasn't bad torture."

They were experiments anyway. That doesn't count as torture.

There's footsteps from behind Phoenix and they cower down, throwing their arm above their head even though it'll do no good. He's going to hurt them, he's going to stretch their limits and kill them and hurt Aaron and–

"Easy. It's just me, I'm here to check on Kai, breathe."

Phoenix does so obediently, blood rushing past their ears still but seeing the medbay as if from miles away, someone in a white coat entering their field of vision.

"Hello Kai," the voice says warmly. "You're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Tell Phoenix there's no such thing as "not bad" torture."

"There isn't. But Kai, I asked about *you*."

"Thirsty, tired, sore. Not dying." He coughs. "What happened?"

"Let me check your vitals and monitors." There's a pause. Phoenix puts their head between their knees, trying to remember how to breathe. "You remember the rescue? Well, you got Phoenix and Aaron, but you had a dagger thrown in your back on your way out. You're damned lucky you were in wolf form. The healers patched you up, but you had a way to go on your own."

"And the others?"

"Lian's been in and out of sleep, Morfydd's in a sensory deprivation chamber, and Santhiya's recovering in a power-blocking room. You all overused your powers drastically, but you'll be okay."

The floor is mostly white with splatters of colour, swirling swirling splatter, and Phoenix throws up on the medbay floor.

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justforlocal · 4 months ago

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Understanding the Factors That Determine the Cost of Auto Insurance

When it comes to auto insurance, one of the most common questions drivers ask is, “What factors determine my premium?” The cost of auto insurance isn’t arbitrary; it’s based on a variety of factors that insurers use to assess risk and determine how much to charge you. Understanding these factors can help you make informed decisions and potentially lower your insurance costs. In this blog post, we’ll delve into the key elements that influence your auto insurance premium.

Driving History

Your driving record is one of the most significant factors in determining your auto insurance premium. Insurers look at your history of accidents, traffic violations, and claims to assess your risk level.

Accidents: If you have a history of accidents, especially those where you were at fault, your premium is likely to be higher. This is because insurers see you as a higher risk.

Traffic Violations: Speeding tickets, DUIs, and other traffic violations can increase your insurance costs. Multiple violations over a short period can significantly impact your premium.

Claims History: Frequent claims, even for minor incidents, can lead to higher premiums. Insurers may view frequent claims as an indicator of higher risk.

Vehicle Type

The type of car you drive also plays a crucial role in determining your insurance costs. Certain characteristics of your vehicle can affect your premium.

Make and Model: Luxury and high-performance vehicles often cost more to insure due to their higher repair and replacement costs.

Age of the Vehicle: Newer cars may have higher premiums because they are more valuable and more expensive to repair. However, they may also come with advanced safety features that could reduce costs.

Safety Features: Cars equipped with advanced safety features such as anti-lock brakes, airbags, and collision avoidance systems may qualify for discounts.

Theft Risk: Some cars are more likely to be stolen than others. If your vehicle is a popular target for thieves, you might face higher premiums.

Personal Information

Several personal factors can influence your auto insurance premium. Insurers use demographic information to assess risk.

Age: Younger drivers, especially teenagers, typically have higher premiums due to their lack of experience and higher risk of accidents. Older drivers may also see higher rates due to slower reaction times.

Gender: Statistically, men are more likely to be involved in accidents than women, which can result in higher premiums for male drivers, especially younger ones.

Marital Status: Married individuals often pay less for auto insurance because they are statistically less likely to be involved in accidents.

Occupation: Some occupations are seen as higher risk than others. For example, delivery drivers or individuals who spend a lot of time on the road may face higher premiums.

Location

Where you live and park your car can significantly impact your auto insurance costs. Insurers consider the following location-based factors:

Population Density: Urban areas with high traffic volumes and congestion typically have higher accident rates, leading to higher premiums.

Crime Rates: Areas with high rates of vehicle theft, vandalism, or other crimes can result in higher insurance costs.

Weather Conditions: Regions prone to severe weather events like hurricanes, hailstorms, or floods may see higher premiums due to the increased risk of damage.

Usage of the Vehicle

How you use your car is another critical factor in determining your auto insurance premium. Insurers assess risk based on the following usage-related aspects:

Mileage: The more you drive, the higher your risk of being involved in an accident. Low-mileage drivers often qualify for discounts.

Commute: If you use your car for commuting to work or school, your premium might be higher due to the increased time spent on the road.

Business Use: Vehicles used for business purposes, such as deliveries or client visits, may have higher premiums due to the increased risk.

Coverage and Deductibles

The type and amount of coverage you choose, as well as your deductibles, directly impact your auto insurance premium.

Coverage Limits: Higher coverage limits provide more protection but come with higher premiums. It’s essential to balance coverage needs with your budget.

Deductibles: A higher deductible means lower premiums, but you’ll pay more out of pocket in the event of a claim. Conversely, a lower deductible increases your premium but reduces out-of-pocket costs for claims.

Optional Coverages: Adding optional coverages like collision, comprehensive, uninsured/underinsured motorist, or roadside assistance will increase your premium.

Credit Score

In many states, insurers use credit scores as a factor in determining auto insurance premiums. A higher credit score can lead to lower premiums, while a lower score may result in higher costs. Insurers believe that individuals with higher credit scores are more likely to be responsible drivers.

Insurance History

Your history with previous insurers can also affect your premium. Insurers consider the following:

Lapse in Coverage: If you’ve had a lapse in your auto insurance coverage, even for a short period, you may face higher premiums. Continuous coverage indicates reliability and lower risk.

Previous Claims: Insurers may review your claims history with previous insurers to assess your risk. Frequent or significant claims can lead to higher premiums.

Discounts

Many insurers offer discounts that can help lower your auto insurance premium. It’s worth exploring which discounts you might qualify for, such as:

Multi-Policy Discount: Bundling your auto insurance with other policies like homeowners or renters insurance can result in discounts.

Good Driver Discount: Maintaining a clean driving record without accidents or violations can earn you a good driver discount.

Good Student Discount: Students with good grades may qualify for discounts.

Safety Features Discount: Vehicles equipped with advanced safety features may be eligible for discounts.

Low Mileage Discount: Driving fewer miles than average can earn you a low mileage discount.

Telematics and Usage-Based Insurance

Some insurers offer telematics or usage-based insurance programs that use technology to monitor your driving habits. These programs can adjust your premium based on factors like:

Driving Behavior: Safe driving habits, such as avoiding hard braking, speeding, and rapid acceleration, can lead to lower premiums.

Mileage: The actual number of miles you drive can impact your premium. Driving less can result in lower costs.

Understanding the various factors that determine your auto insurance premium can help you make informed decisions and potentially lower your costs. By maintaining a clean driving record, choosing a vehicle with advanced safety features, and taking advantage of available discounts, you can reduce your insurance expenses. Additionally, considering your personal factors, vehicle usage, and location can provide insights into why your premium is set at a particular level. Stay proactive, shop around, and regularly review your policy to ensure you’re getting the best possible rate for your auto insurance needs.

#auto insurance #just for local #Credit Score

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thedarkbringer · 5 months ago

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Jsyk those ppl that think ppl in the south have "the easy life on a little farm milking cows and feeding chicks and taking care of their bazillion kids and being racist all the time with no exceptions because they're stupid!!!" Are DELUSIONAL. Farming in any capacity and keeping livestock is NOT a cottagecore pinterest board, and while there are a LOT of issues out here, we are still people, and we are working as hard as anyone else.

Rant under the cut bc yall piss me off.

Some cows will hate your guts and literally bully you. Chickens and roosters can and probably will attack you and your children. If its a bigger farm with big equipment like tractors... hoo boy.

A kid got sucked into a tractor combine and DIED at my old school. And the son of my current principal lost a leg in another farming accident. There are very few hospitals where I live and most farms are in a place where, if you mess up and throw something out of place or break a bone, nobody will hear you scream.

Im not trying to sound edgy, but we dont live an "easy simple life!" It can be genuinely hard and scary even without outside factors (rabid animals, floods, tornadoes are common in my area, and sometimes the main road to town is just completely unusable. We arent stranded but it would take hours to get to civilization if there was an emergency.) And that's just the part about work ethic!

We are not "simple people" because we are farmers who live in the middle of nowhere. It doesn't make our lives inherently easier and it doesn't make us inherently stupid and racist. Those are nasty ass stereotypes. People in the south work just as hard as you do, and if you think we are any lesser just because of where we live, you need to check yourself and stop being classist weirdos.

When I look at the people around me I see victims of the class struggle that don't even know it. Our schools are underfunded tk no fault of our own, with my last school being a rat and roach infested k-12 with no budget at all placed RIGHT NEAR A PRISON.

We are almost all horribly traumatized in one way or another because, again, there aren't many hospitals around and people watch their family members die more than you would think because of the afformentioned farming accidents and other various issues around here.

We have been utterly failed in so many ways and I am so sick of people pointing and laughing at my neighbors and family and friends because they're all supposedly homophobic and racist and horrible. Yes there are problems out here but by outright despising us you are literally not helping anyone and making everyone down here feel MORE alienated than they already do from people up north and on the coasts. We are all people too, JFC.

#rant #leftists up north stop being classist challenge!!#level impossible #I AM NOT EXCUSING RACISM OR HOMOPHBIA DONT YOU EVEN TRY TI MISCONSTRUE THIS.#just a disclaimer for the “how dare you say we piss on the poor” crowd

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sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face · 1 year ago

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To this day, I still don't think people realize that addiction is a life-long disease. It never goes away. It doesn't matter if you've been clean for five years or even ten, twenty years, etc. Relapses happen more frequently than you think. The amount of shame we carry with each one only adds to the self-loathing, the helplessness of never escaping such a path of destruction. You can so easily slip and fall back into those patterns. It's frightening. And yes, it's our fault. But there's so many contributing factors. And it's not an excuse. If you're not properly equipped to deal with your emotions/life, you're fucked. You will travel through so many unhealthy avenues of being. We're not all fortunate to have mental health care. Sometimes it costs more than the drugs itself.

The reason I'm bringing this up, I'm struggling.

I've been sober from opiates since 2018.

Have I had mini relapses here and there, yep. But sometimes I'll pop other pills like they're candy. Sometimes my brain convinces me that I miss drugs, as if there are no consequences from being doped up. Being unconscious feels wonderful. Especially when life isn't so wonderful.

There's a quote echoing in my head, mostly as I continue to think about him, Matthew Perry once said "reality is an acquired taste."

I cannot sum it up any better than that. I wish I could hug another fellow recovering addict. It is so lonely and isolating to go through this alone and have literally no one around me that understands. I wish I wasn't so embarrassed to even share such thoughts on a public forum.

#very ironic that I refrain myself from being open about this shit #I used to say way too much on here #it's horrible finding old posts of mine #but I'm in pain #and I'm hurting #and I'm trying my darnedest.

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delulluart · 1 year ago

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do you have paper recommendations (for both drawings and watercolor paintings)? i want to get back into traditional art and don't really know were to start. also what pencils do you use? and watercolors? or do you use guache? what brushes should i get? sorry i know this is a lot of questions but it is a bit overhwhelming and i really liked you're ghost paintings 😊 and i don't want to buy bad things

oh dear, first of all: thank you, I'm very happy to hear you enjoy my silly stuff! And it is always great to hear people getting back to traditional art, since it seems like almost everyone is doing digital art exclusively these days (this is NOT me shitting on DA, i love you digital art people).

Anyway, yes, there's *a lot* of options out there and it is so, so important to get at least okay-ish quality equipment.

Paper

Paper is, in my opinion the most important factor, especially for watercolour works. switching to good quality paper was an absolute game changer - 0 exaggeration!

Watercolour paper:

I use mostly Hahnemühle Britannia 300g/m² cold pressed with matte surface. it comes with different surface options, depending on the effect you want (rougher surface etc., but i don't vibe with that). it is still relatively affordable, but still, hurts the bank account quite a bit.

If i want to go for some more silly stuff, i use Hahnemühle Burgund 250g/m². because it's thinner it is cheaper (you just can't put as much water and as many layers on it, which, for my use case is usually perfectly fine).

If i want to go full fancy I use the Hahnemühle mould made 300g/m². It's handmade paper, not from trees but with fabric, it is incredible how well the colours work on this stuff. Many people use Arches paper, but that is way too expensive for me. and I'm very happy with the Hahnemühle.

The difference between cheap as shit no-name watercolour paper and some good quality brand paper is, and I cannot express this enough, incredibly big. those ugly rims and splotches and uneven colour fades? that's the cheap paper's fault, not yours. It made me really desperate thinking I'm just too stupid for art, when it wasn't my fault.

For drawings I also use Hahnemühle:

my favourite is Skizze 190: very smooth surface, very white and very affordable!

another is Nostalgie: It feels even smoother in a different way, is less white. at first touch they seem identical, but handle very differently. this one is just as affordable as the Skizze 190 one.

Cheaping out on paper means you'll pay with happiness, really. save your nerves and motivation and spend the money on nice paper. trust me.

I'm not sure, Hahnemühle is available wherever you live, but go to an art supply store (a good one) and ask for help there!

Pencils

I exclusively use Staedtler Mars Lumograph pencils these days. They are very consistent in their...abrasion? there's no hard chunks in the lead, and they cost very little. They also have the Lumograph Black pencils which have a high charcoal level, which is super cool when you have very dark areas, because it won't get super shiny!

Watercolours

I got myself a set of Lukas Studio Watercolours and added a few more that i use often/ needed more than the ones already included in the set. They're not very expensive (compared to other big brands that everyone seems to use) and i like them. I never tried the expensive Windsor etc. paints, though. The price is very attractive and I never had any problems with them.

I also have a Gouache set that I got second hand from my sister by Caran d'Ache. I don't know whether it's good or not, because I rarely use it, mostly for accents on my watercolour paintings.

Brushes

until very recently I used rather cheap but good synthetic brushes for ethical reasons. I accidentally bought a natural hair one and it was....extremely good. With a heavy heart I now switched full time to much more expensive Kolinskis. Ethically this is an absolute nightmare and I will try to buy as few as possible and use them forever before buying new ones. But they are, unfortunately, much better. I wouldn't necessary recommend the brand I used because they're bad at keeping a tip, though.

But if you're just starting: go to an art supply store and get 3 synthetic ones in small, medium and slightly bigger with a nice tip and you'll be very happy for quite a while, i promise!

I also highly recommend getting a Pentel Aquash as a starting tool and for painting outside (don't buy a cheap fake, they're terrible)

alright, I hope i could answer your questions and if you (or anyone else) wants to know more, just ask :)

#it talks #tutorial #ask

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bluemoonball · 2 months ago

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Another November 2024 Post

I've little doubt that this will be remembered as one of the greatest self-humiliations that any country has ever engaged in. Nevertheless, there is a great deal of ruin in a nation, so we move on. We don't have a choice, you know.

There are at least three kinds of excusable motives for people. One is just being dumb as shit, and there's plenty of those. That's "he'll make the economy better" and so on. This is excusable inasmuch as it's driven by an entirely appropriate ignorance. Most people are dumb as shit, and that's not their fault; it's nothing immoral or sinful. In this system, people are supposed to be presented with two reasonable choices: go on as is, or do something else. This is precisely to account for people being morons; even morons are well equipped to decide if they like what's been happening or not. Morons who exert this basic form of democratic accountability are doing their job and can't be blamed. I think this is probably most voters on either side, and certainly most of those who swung. And really it's the party's fault for putting up an unacceptable, addled wannabe-dictator as the alternative.

The second kind of error is some kind of passionate principle or narrow interest. People who love money and hate regulation, or believe abortion is the greatest sin, or seek to punish the guy who tepidly supported Israel in its bombing. This is an error of principles. These principles are subjective, and while it's a poor idea to put them above the elementary social compact, most everyone has something they'd put above that compact--their family, their own skin, whatever. On some level, we ought to be humble enough to accept their choice of principle.

The third possibility is accelerationism. There are those who believe that the system is so broken that someone needs to smash it fully. They accept that this man is not only a piece of shit scumbag, but also incompetent and incontinent, but this is the tool they have. Arguably, some would say, only a person this warped and shriveled, this empty and cheap, this totally void, could do so. I think there's something to this view, and it is held by some intelligent people. This one is very excusable in some sense: I think the system we have is imperfect but very good and should be sustained (that is, I'm a conservative); they think it needs to be torn down in order to make progress (that is, they are progressive); and that's an instinct I can sympathize with.

By contrast, what I don't excuse is the plain old narrow sadism of trolls. One may feel resentment, one may genuinely be wronged, but to respond to it by giving in to your sadistic nature? That's the behavior of a villain, of Richard III. At its core is unformedness, immaturity, raw and tender self-obsession—"His Majesty, the baby." I also don't excuse delusion, which surely is a lot of it as well; Qanon or whatever. There's nothing to excuse when you're orthogonal to reality.

No doubt these factors are all mixed up in people, in reality, and so it would be more generous to excuse the majority in general. And so I will. But to understand and even excuse them means only not to blame them. It doesn't mean to shield them from the consequences of their actions, or to behave as though we're common citizens and need to row together now. We are not. They've made a category error. In each case, they have consciously or unconsciously, knowingly or unknowingly, made a value judgment that the fundament, the cornerstone, the centerpiece of our society—the principle imperfectly reflected in our Constitution, that power belongs to the people and so when the king loses, they leave—is less important to them than something else.

To my mind, this was clear enough the first time, but after January 6th, it's unconcealable. It shouts to the heavens. It's the Emperor's new clothes. To disregard what was done and what worse was attempted that day, well, that's their choice to make. But the response to that can no longer be persuasion, offers, and bargaining. The response to a fundamental irreconcilable difference is divorce, it's secession, it's annulment, it's contract-breaking, it's war.

At best, we are, unfortunately, cast in the role of a parent to a child. A wayward and obstreperous child who wants candy and wants his stomach to stop hurting and to stay up late playing video games all at once. We've tried to shield them from the consequences humanely, while being beset by a million other problems, as an adult is; of course it wasn't perfect, had many failings, but all in all it was a creditable adult effort, and it's been rewarded with another tantrum.

What is the response? It can only be to let the consequences hit. If amelioration doesn't work, the next move is our own accelerationism. The tat of the tit-for-tat has to come out of the sack, and this time we should do what we can to push it along. We don't need to take any joy in this, and probably shouldn't, but if they insist on eating candy despite being warned that they'll shit their guts out, then the thing to do is to hand over the candy and a bucket and leave the room.

Give it to them good. Let them have what they asked for, as hard as they asked for it, or harder. Innocent people will be caught up in the crossfire and that is unfortunate, but that is why war is bad.

With malice towards none is always a sound principle. With charity towards all is a good one that will have to wait. No charity, no succor, no aid, no sympathy other than in private; no bandages, no insurance, no safety, no sanctuary. No mercy. Let 'em all hang; I'll see them in four years, and we'll all see how they've reaped in that time.

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whipped-for-kpop-fics · 8 months ago

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Why be a writer if you’re not equipped for it ? No shade but if it isn’t something you can consistently do or even have enough interest in to get something done why do it? You’re wasting your own time and energy trying to get something accomplished knowing it doesn’t fit your schedule

Hello, yes, some people do things because they enjoy it regardless of other factors. Enjoyment is reason enough to do something.

And I have plenty of interest in it, writing has been the only consistent interest I've had for now half of my life so interest isn't my issue at all.

Some people have troubles doing things they love out of no fault of their own, often due to disabilities or mental health.

I would both appreciate and advise that you do not send messages like this to anyone again, you never know what someone's situations and what kind of nerve you may hit by essentially telling someone to give up doing a hobby they enjoy.

And as I upload my writing on the internet for others without earning a single penny from it, I think it's rather obvious that I enjoy writing like all fanfiction writers do. I downplay my struggles a lot and make jokes out of things but it doesn't mean I want to quit or don't enjoy it.

I don't know what your intention was here exactly, if you're genuinely trying to get me to give up writing, or trying to understand, or something else, but if you're trying to understand, you should really be more polite and consider your wording better in the future.

I won't respond to another ask like this and I'm pretty sure I haven't even explained myself properly because I genuinely struggle with getting my thoughts out in a way others understand, but if anyone does send anything along these lines again, I'll delete it.

#chee chats

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simonalkenmayer · 3 years ago

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Specific types of abuse and how and why Tumblr allows it to occur

DARVO is a an acronym for Deny Attack Reverse Victim and Offender. It’s not the only tactic most bullies/abusers will use, but it is a very tricky one. Why? Because on the surface it looks like a normal reaction.

Let’s say someone accuses you of something you know you didn’t do. First you would deny it happened. If the person persisted in saying the lie, you might lash out at them. After a while, you might more overtly say “I’m the victim here” these are natural reactions.

But DARVO is different for two reasons. An abuser will use it for any and all encounters that question them in any way. It can be something as small as “I noticed you haven’t finished that project.” Or “Hey were you going to wash up the dishes…” The other factor is that it will happen in the blink of an eye. Not over time, but usually in one single conversation.

“I wasn’t asked to do the dishes! It was your job! It’s really awful you’d even ask me to! You know I have had a hard day”

“That wasn’t my project! It was Tom’s and it’s your fault for not managing it properly. I can’t believe you’d blame us.”

It’s similar and in some cases even qualifies as gaslighting, because it performs a sort of dynamical tailspin to the recipient, who is no longer certain where they stand and why fault is even an issue. Most people don’t focus on blame or fault finding. They focus on accomplishing whatever must be accomplished, but narcissistic abusers fixate on blame, because they cannot tolerate it.

Often the Reverse Victim and Offender aspect of the conversation is incredibly hostile. It will include the same “word salad” that is meant to confuse, as the bully attempts to work out what to say. It may include counter-accusations, dog whistles, things designed to further aggravate in order to cause the victim to overreact so that they can be gaslit and called irrational. It may also include referring to events that either didn’t happen, or didn’t happen in that way.

This tactic is used to also deny the abuse and make the victim responsible for it. “I never treated you badly. You’re just a terrible person. And I wouldn’t have to handle you this way if you weren’t such an idiot.” It’s an incredibly toxic behavior and often is paired with sudden, violent mood swings. These mood swings typically occur at the first hint of frustration.

In online settings, DARVO usually makes an appearance alongside false virtue signaling. In order to actually appear above reproach, and not merely another troll (which has become fairly common and is usually dealt with by most) the abuser has to make an accusation of wrongdoing. It doesn’t matter if the accusation is true or not, because even if it is verifiably false, studies show people will still react negatively or ostracize the person accused, simply to avoid conflict. To the victim, it can also feel extremely upsetting and cause fear, especially if that victim sees their online peer group as being incredibly important. It can trigger the same stress response as an actual fight, and can cause the person to leave the internet space, apologize, beg for forgiveness, even fake their own death or some other preposterous response (part of my data set is stories of online bullying people have endured). Adolescents who now interact heavily online, face unbelievable social pressure via internet spaces, and to them these kind of manipulations can cause extreme trauma. Some even lead to suicide or violence.

In terms of features the platforms provide to protect users from these types of abuse, this platform and others like it are woefully equipped. In some cases, features actually make the risk of bullying far higher. One such feature here is the Anonymous Ask feature. It shouldn’t exist. There was no reason for it to exist. The app argues it was set in place to foster discussion and reaching out to people in a more safe way. But that isn’t true. The only reason to be anonymous is to avoid retribution or association. In other words, if a person sends an innocuous question to my anonymous ask box, they are doing so because they worry about backlash, which means that they perceive the app to either be poorly policed, or unsafe. The anonymous ask feature is almost as welcoming as a door mat for any abusive person who wishes to make accusations. But like Facebook, who knew its algorithm pushed extremist content and left it to do that for the sake of driving revenue, Tumblr allows these features to exist for just that purpose. The longer the drama goes on, the more people remain glued to their machines, and the more revenue comes in. Capitalism, pure and simple.

You might say that the victim doesn’t have to post the ask, and you’d be right, they could ignore it, but my work here shows there is a tremendous social pressure put on the victim’s psychology. If one person can ask the question, the perception is that more might be asking it. The victim feels the need to defend against what could be a common perception about them. This is made even worse if one person sends multiple asks or creates shadow accounts to get past the block feature. One incident alone saw 15 anonymous asks made, all coming from the same IP address. All were constructed differently, all with different punctuation and different spelling errors. But every message contained the same erroneous accusation—a dog whistle for Social Justice activists.

To the average person, particularly an adolescent, that kind of inundation would create the false impression that an entire group believes this about them. They’d feel pressured to respond. However once they do, it will not stop there. When the victim says “I don’t understand why you’re doing this to me” the offender will use all the same tactics to reverse victim and offender. A good example of this would be a toxic narcissist, employing these tactics, to call someone ableist for pointing out narcissistic qualities or abuse. Case in point. Manipulation and bullying make you precisely the problem, and ableism isn’t the same as an accurate warning. That one word “ableist”, is a whistle, and it triggers people in the group to ostracize even when they don’t believe it to be true.

The urge to conform is great, and DARVO employed online, coupled with accusations and platform features that allow true anonymity, can sway an entire group in one single interaction.

#group dynamics #narcissism #abuse #bullying

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queenjunoking · 2 years ago

Text

Wolf Taming Pt 61

I could hear Frost breathing hard as the trainers fussed over her. I wanted to look back and see what happened, but the treadmill kept going. Clarity had set some automatic program I was helpless to stop. With her preoccupied there was no one to stop it.

All I could do was run and listen to them fuss over her. I could hear them asking her questions about the pain. One idiot even asked if she could move her ankle like there was any significant movement we could do in these damn boots.

“What happened?” The barn went quite again as Eos’s voice boomed through the room. The only noise came from me and others like me that were stuck running on a treadmill that wouldn’t let up. “I asked what happened!”

“Mistress Eos.” I could hear Natalie speak up. “We had a broken hoof situation on one of the stallions and I went over to assist. There were no trainers nearby. We heard a yelp and when we rushed over Frosthoof was on the ground.”

There was a tense moment of silence. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see what was happening behind me. I could only assume Eos was pissed off.

“Frosthoof?” I could hear Eos take a few more steps down Frost.

“I m-mistepped, Mistress Eos.” Frost said between deep breaths. “I lost my balance and I couldn’t recover.”

I was shocked. I assumed she was going to sell me out immediately as the one that was distracting her. Frost seemed to be Eos’s favorite, why take any blame?

“Hm…” I felt my chest tighten, Eos didn’t sound convinced.

I saw a gloved hand come into view and press a few buttons. The treadmill slowed down and eventually came to a stop. I was thankful I could finally stop running, my feet were killing me.

That gratitude came to an end as Eos walked in front of me. She was still dressed in that stupid horse riding outfit. It seemed pointless when there weren’t any actual horses here to ride.

“Callidora, you’re stationed next to Frosthoof. What happened?”

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Saying I was at fault could get Frost in trouble for lying as well as getting Lucky and Clover punished again. If I agreed with Frost and said that she simply tripped and it was found out I was lying Frost, Lucky, and Clover could still be punished. Who knew where microphones might be? There could be cameras everywhere. Why wouldn’t Eos have eyes on the entire farm?

I needed to split the difference.

“What she said is true, E-... Mistress Eos.” I decided to use her dumb title to hopefully work to smooth things over. “I heard her lose her balance and fall as her treadmill was slowing down.”

Her eyes were boring into mine. I wanted to match her energy and stare back, but deep down I knew the correct thing to do to try to keep defusing the situation. I broke eye contact and looked down at the floor.

“However, I had said something to her and caught her off guard. She may have tripped, but my words were the instigating factor.”

It was too late to take it back now. I had admitted fault. I could only hope that sharing the burden would save everyone from the full fury.

Before Eos could say anything the door to the room opened again. I could hear a few people entering. I wasn’t sure why there were here, but they came at a really bad time if they wanted to use the equipment.

“Mistress Eos.” An unfamiliar voice came from behind me. “We brought equipment for a transfer, would you like Frosthoof moved to a medical stall?”

Of course it was too much to ask that someone injured got to go into a normal room to get checked out. I wasn’t sure what kind of medical staff she had, but it unfortunately made far too much sense that they just shoved them into another set of stalls. I was surprised Eos could restrain herself enough not to call them vets.

“Yes, move her.”

Finally Eos moved out of sight. I could still feel her nearby, probably supervising the process. I could hear the noises of Frost’s outfit as she was probably placed onto a gurney or whatever they used to move her. It just felt like another insult to injury to have to listen to all the restraints rattling as she was carried away. Had Frost not been wearing these damn boots she wouldn’t be hurt.

Part of me had just expected Eos to leave with Frost. That was too much for me to hope for. I saw her hand come into view again, clipping a leash to the front of my harness. I felt someone messing with the restraints attached to the back of it, probably Clarity unhooking me.

“Lets go, Callidora.” Eos gave the leash a few tugs and began to walk.

Despite my deepest instincts telling me tackle her, I managed to just follow her out of the room and back into the hallway. The ones that took Frost were nowhere to be seen. Just the kind of efficiency expected when messing up could get your tied to a post and lashed.

“Honestly I’m surprised you have any kind of medical staff here.” I gave the minimum effort in keeping the bitterness out of my voice. Part of me wondered if the medical staff were slaves as well. Taken away from saving the lives of regular people to watch over her farm instead. “What’s going to happen to her? She going to get a chance to recover or are you just going to dump her because you’re allowed to do whatever you want with her?

“Callidora.” I could hear the rare bit of anger creeping into Clarity’s voice.

“I’m not a monster, Callidora.” Eos said without an ounce of self awareness. “Frost is a high performer and it would be stupid of me to just get rid of her. She’ll have her chance to recover and show she can still accomplish as much as she was before. Would your coach have made you run on a busted ankle?”

And there was the truth. Frost was one of her best racers. If these races were anything like regular horse racing then there was probably a gambling aspect. Frost was probably a source of income for her. There was no altruism for not immediately putting Frost somewhere worse on the farm. It was a good financial decision for her to see if Frost would recover.

“Being the cause of an injury to one of my best ponies really should be enough for me to punish Lucky and Clover again as I promised I’d do.”

“N- wait. You promise.” I felt my heart drop at her words. Her smile told me that she knew that would be my reaction.

“Yeah, yeah. I said if you were good they’d be fine. Despite it not being your place to tell Frosthoof about Ember’s fate, you weren’t bad per se.” I could see Eos was trying to formulate an idea that she could justify as fair. “Lucky and Clover are off the hook. For now. But if Frosthoof doesn’t recover they’ll pay. I’ll flip a coin. One will stay with you, the other will become a permanent decoration in the barn. If you think what you’ve seen is bad so far… well Callidora you haven’t seen how bad it can truly get. Many slaves would think you’re in paradise right now.”

I didn’t even want to think about how much worse things could get. Worse than human ponies. Worse than humans permanently bound in a barn and being milked for the rest of their lives. Worse than becoming some kind of permanent decoration? My mind only had so many ideas and the last hing I wanted to risk was giving them more.

I felt her finger push my chin up so I’d make eye contact with her again.

“Thank me for my generosity, Callidora.”

I only paused for a second, knowing better than to give her a reason to inflict more pain on those on her horrible farm. I tried to help Frost, spare her from being taunted with the information from someone like Jude. Instead all I did was seal the fate of either Lucky or Clover if she didn’t recover. Two more lives made worse by my actions.

“Thank you, Mistress Eos.” Her name stuck bitterly to my tongue.

“Good girl, Callidora.”

I seethed at the way she talked to me. Talking down to me like she thought she really was so much better than I was. Like she’d be able to protect herself if even a quarter of those here turned against her.

A few moments later we walked out of the barn and towards an unfamiliar path. Clarity had said we had some training regime but it seemed Eos didn’t particularly care.

“Where are we going?” I finally said, feeling annoyed that we were just walking off somewhere without indicating why we were leaving the barns.

“Clarity.” Eos sighed.

We stopped for a moment and Clarity held up my bit. “Please lean down, Callidora.”

My annoyance had apparently gotten my speaking “privileges” revoked. I bent down a bit and opened my mouth. There wasn’t much else I could do. Clarity placed it in my mouth and quickly tightened it. A bit more harshly than she had previously.

With Eos satisfied we continued our walk. I felt a little nervous as we hit a path going towards the woods. The last time we had taken a walk into the woods we had gone to the cow barn. That was in the other direction though.

“I told you that we generally punish others in the place of our best ponies. That ‘generally’ is important because there are tons of punishments we could inflict on our ponies if we wanted too. There are so many punishments that don’t physically hurt anyone.”

Our destination came into view. A row of something that resembled the frames the cow slaves had been locked in. There were eight of them. At the moment they were all empty.

“The idea for the cow slave frames came from there. Farmhands that don’t live up to expectations were once brought here and placed in these for a week.” She turned to me and had the gall to smirk. “Helped them realize there were worse things than having to work here. I have better methods now though.”

She pulled out a key and unlocked the frame. My heart sank as I realized what was about to happen.

“Call me sentimental, but I just couldn’t get rid of these. Instead they have a new purpose. They’re now here to give mares a taste of their own stupidity. Let them experience the cow life so they can make an informed decision about the fate they seem like they’re eager to have for reasons that escape me.” She stood aside and gestured towards the frame. “Step in Callidora. I suggest you listen or these frames might have two new permanent residents.”

Her threat stole the fight from me before I could even start. I stared at the frame for a few more seconds before I walked towards it. What else was I going to do? Run? Eos and Clarity would catch me. I was on a dirt trail in these boots.

There was a small piece of metal I knew I was supposed to lay across. When I did my neck was in the perfect position for a collar shaped piece of the frame to shut around it. Eos wasted no time closing that, already sealing my fate.

I had seen there was a part of the frame used to hold the arms, just like the frame in the cow barn, but with my arms already in a binder Clarity didn’t seem to bother with it. What she did was pull my legs far outwards and lock them in.

Laying like this made my tits hang off the seat. I was sitting like the cow slaves in the barn were. Uncomfortable, unable to escape, and with my tits out to be milked. In someways I knew I was more comfortable than they were. Those slaves were held but a series of chains, cuffs, and bars. They didn’t have the “luxury” of a plate to rest their body weight on. Something that had to be extremely painful on its own, but worse when subjected to whatever formula engorged their breasts.

“Callidora.” Eos spoke up, breaking the silence. I was unable to do anything but stare at the ground. It wasn’t like I could answer her. “I’m planning on having a race very soon with a very special prize. My recommendation for you is this. When I let you out of here I’d put my heart and soul into making sure you’re ready for it. Because if I don’t think you really want to be a pony, you’ll be going into the cow barn. I’m already fed up with you. You’ll be spending the rest of your life in a frame very similar to this one with nothing to do. No other ponies to talk to like you’ve gotten to do so far, the cows are gagged for a reason. Just mind numbing boredom.”

I saw Eos’s boots come into view. She knelt down and grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled, forcing my head up at far as the frame would allow.

“Your fate is entirely in your hands. You can do what you’re told and be rewarded or continue this attitude and get punished. You’re going to get a fun glimpse into what your life could be like if you keep messing up. Consider this your last chance to impress me.”

When she let go of my hair my head practically shot back down to the ground. My chest was tight with panic. When we were in the barn she hadn’t seen that upset, but now I knew she was simply keeping her emotions under control in front of her slaves. She had no issue letting me know how frustrated she was with me when there wasn’t anyone to see.

“Clarity, place these on her.” I heard a jiggle above me. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I knew it was going to be another punishment.

“Yes, Mistress Eos.”

I saw Clarity next to me with something in her hand. She placed a hand on my breast and I instinctively tried to pull away, but the frame held me still. A few moments later a stab of pain hit my nipple. As I tried to wiggle away from it there was just a chorus of jingling. While I was trying to figure out what was happening I felt a stabbing pain on my other nipple.

I felt like an idiot when I realized what they were. Nipple clamps with bells on them. I had seen various other pony slaves with them on. Usually the ones that were pulling a cart.

“No auto-milkers out here for you to wear for the next few hours. Maybe some clamps will do. If nothing else it’ll give you something to listen too.”

I watched Eos’s boot vanish as she walked behind me. A second later my backside exploded with pain as she hit my ass as hard as she could.

“Enjoy the peace of the woods, Callidora. Use this time to think wisely. There are two paths before you. Becoming a pony might be hard, but it's much more rewarding than the easy path. I have an open framing in the milking barn if you want it that bad though.”

I managed to hold myself together as they walked away, leaving me alone in the middle of the woods. Once I was by myself though I couldn’t stop myself from crying. Every sob and heave was accompanied by the mocking sound of a bell.

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slasherholic · 4 years ago

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Essay: The Impact of Smith’s Grove on Michael Myers’ Antisocial Tendencies

-warning: personal opinion and headcanons ahead!-

The topic has been on my mind tonight, so naturally, my thoughts have culminated in an unnecessarily lengthy essay :)

I’ll preface this by saying Michael’s time at Smith’s Grove undoubtedly contributed to the severity of his antisocial behaviors. While temporary hospitalization was likely the right course of action for him after Judith’s murder, under no circumstances would it have been beneficial for his development to spend his entire childhood at an institute for the criminally insane. It would seem that, ultimately, (and almost certainly in part due to the recommendations of Sam Loomis,) Michael was “forgotten by the system” and doomed from the beginning to become just another statistic.

Let’s make something clear, though: Michael’s lack of empathy was not caused by Smith’s Grove. Michael’s sadistic personality was not caused by Smith’s Grove. These are inherent biological factors. It may seem harsh to label a child with such a serious, seemingly adult condition, but Conduct Disorder is a very real occurrence.

Of course, that isn’t at all to say that Judith’s murder was Michael’s fault.

Due both to the severity of Michael’s disorder, and his young age, he would not have been able to internalize why cruelty to others and outright murder was considered “wrong” by society.

Yes, he probably had adults talking at him all day about why it wasn’t okay to bully kids in school, or throw rocks at dogs, or cut up all of Judith’s toys; but ultimately, little Mikey lacked the cognitive function that would be developing in a “typical” brain to ascertain morally right behaviors from morally wrong ones. In short, all that adult talk was just obnoxious nagging that went in one ear and right out the other.

Alright, there’s my rambling and obligatory “it’s very not groovy to fling around unfounded and damaging labels such as ableist” (I’m a mentally ill individual myself, thanks 😎👉) out of the way. On to the actual topic of this essay weeeee

Also! Due to the very limited knowledge we have about Michael’s character, here is where things get quite headcanon-y--so please, dip out now if you are bothered by that.

Smith’s Grove ultimately failed Michael for a multitude of reasons. Psychiatry at the time was ill-equipped to deal with the severity of a disorder such as his, and to worsen matters, those in charge of his care were never able to achieve a break-through with him during the course of his treatment. (This includes Loomis, yes, but I highly doubt that it was strictly limited to Loomis—I do not think it’s responsible to pin all of the blame on a single psychiatrist. I will go more into detail about what Loomis is responsible for in another essay.)

The core issue, however, is this: from little Mikey’s point of view, the staff of Smith’s Grove were never there to “help him.” These adults were merely the people keeping him locked up in an unstimulating environment, making him swallow gross pills, and trying to lecture him about things that he really didn’t care about. He wanted out.

However, thanks to the naivety of psychiatry at the time—and with good intentions in mind, albeit very misplaced—the people in charge were not about to let him out into, say, some sort of outpatient program.

Michael picked up on this fact quickly. And the effects it wreaked on his attitude toward other people as a whole were catastrophic.

Because of this deeply-rooted frustration toward his confinement, I have no doubt that little Michael would have come to resent the staff of Smith’s Grove—his psychiatrist included—and the institution altogether. In his worldview, every single person now involved in his life was guilty of being an utter jackass, unworthy of his respect, unworthy of his cooperation.

This was the catalyst that led Michael to voluntarily stop communicating.

Think about it—engaging with the staff was ultimately not something that could be forced on Michael. His refusal to cooperate became the single aspect of his life that he still held some semblance of personal control over. Doctors could talk at him all they wanted, but at the end of the day, he didn’t have to listen, nor react; so, he didn’t.

Michael’s refusal to communicate was likely done sheerly out of frustration and a desire to be defiant—that is, until he was mature enough to realize how he could use the behavior to slip gracefully under the radar, and be forgotten about. His next decade was set to be spent perfecting his act of docility, biding his time, and waiting for the day when he could free himself on his own terms.

But by then, the irreversible damage to his social proclivity was done; and any hope of him cooperating in his treatment was long gone.

Michael had long-since internalized the idea that communication with others was not a worthwhile use of his energy. In little Mikey’s mind, having no desire to engage socially with those in his environment, no inherent need or longing to seek out friendly interactions, and a very low opinion of practically everybody, other people were now useful only as tools.

This mindset of his was strongly reinforced as his libido developed—at which point he discovered that cruelty to others wasn’t just entertaining, it also made him feel good in a different way. Essentially, as Michael matured into adulthood, his ��people are nothing more than toys and tools” mentality had become too deeply rooted in his psyche to ever realistically be rectified.

Now, consider a perfect world: a world in which Michael hadn’t been left a permanent inpatient. A world where instead, he was released back to his family within a year. A world where he had been taught healthy and effective mechanisms to cope with his impulses.

Even in this ideal situation, I feel it would be unmindful of me to make any sort of claim that Michael absolutely would not still be engaging in criminal activity—murder possibly included.

Upon his escape from Smith’s Grove, Michael, a perfectly sane adult, (ASPD is not a psychotic disorder,) who now knows that murder is wrong by societal standards, who now understands the gravity of his actions and the potential repercussions he faces, whether out of impulse, sexual desire, sheer boredom, or any combination of the three—still opts to kill people.

Michael could have disappeared after his escape. I am confident that he is both intelligent and perceptive enough that if he really felt like it, he could have picked up on the skills needed to at the very least “blend in” with society. He could have faded into obscurity in the public eye, and that would have been the end of it. It would not have been a “normal” life, but it might have been something bordering on functional.

Instead, he murdered four people.

Let me emphasize: when Michael finally got free, rather than doing literally anything besides murder, Michael went out of his way to commit even more murders.

To conclude, yes; institutional misconduct worsened the severity of Michael’s antisocial tendencies and stole from him any chance he might have had at living a “normal” life.

However, Michael’s crimes as an adult are inexcusable, and despite the very real mistreatment he faced at the hands of an authority, he absolutely deserves to be held responsible for his actions in the original Halloween.

#maddie analyzes #Michael Myers #Slashers #halloween #essay

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bestworstcase · 4 years ago

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Hi, I really love your thoughts and analysis on tts so I wanted to ask if you have read The Vanishing Village Book? It made me really think about Eugene's character. I sorta disliked him in the book and felt his relationship with Rapunzel was different and strained. I guess my question is if you think Eugene is a good character? I feel that I am biased for liking the story and relationship between Cassandra and Rapunzel so perhaps I am not seeing him in a fair light but there's just factors that make me feel he might not be the best for Rapunzel. I love their relationship and value & dedication towards each other but their relationship can feel a bit stale sometimes and Eugene can come off as not understanding and dismissive towards Rapunzel sometimes so ig I'd like to be proven wrong and be reminded that Eugene is good for Rapunzel

i have read vanishing village (and i remember liking it better than lost lagoon) but i have to admit i don’t remember anything but the very broad strokes of the plot, so i don’t feel equipped to do any analysis of eugene based on it; that being said -

i do really like eugene as a character in the sense that he is. interesting / engaging / compelling, which yeah to my mind that’s what makes a “good character” but also has nothing to do with the, kind of, moral or personal question of but is he a good guy or is he likable or sympathetic or that kind of thing. and on that my feelings are more ambivalent kfjfjdhs

on the one hand i do find his relationship with rapunzel in tts to be fairly refreshing. it’s nice to see a fictional m/f couple that is just… comfortable with each other, friends with each other, able to talk about their problems collaboratively with each other. that is so rare in fiction, where the tendency is so often to rely on miscommunication to manufacture relationship drama or do the will they won’t they, on again off again nonsense which is just so tiresome - and it feels good to have a m/f couple that eschews that altogether. and it’s also imo really nice that the m/f relationship fades so much into the background vis a vis the wider plot, which i know is not necessarily a popular opinion [vague gestures at all the ‘eugene was sidelined’ discourse] but, like, i feel like i can count on one hand the number of stories i know where the female protagonist *has a male love interest* without the story being ABOUT him, and with the male love interest filling this supportive narrative role while quietly and subtly dealing with his own problems on the side? it’s so difficult to find stories where men aren’t centered and so i appreciate eugene and new dream a lot for that reason too.

but at the same time like - eugene def falls victim to the plot-driven writing just like every other character does and that frustrates me because i think ultimately having all these loose threads hanging with him means his character feels a bit stagnant, and that in turn makes his flaws more glaring because they’re never… worked on or addressed, they just sort of persist or silently fade away for the most part. (which again, is true of literally every character because the storytelling of tts is highly plot driven and episodic)

& that phenomenon can make character interpretation a little convoluted, because… well the intentions of the narrative are signaled pretty baldly (eugene grows out of his selfishness and becomes a compassionate hard working leader for corona, which he has embraced as his home) without having much if any on-screen development to back it up (indeed the premise of flynnposter involves eugene shirking his new responsibilities, and then it concludes with a commitment from him to take the captain gig seriously - but thereafter the only time we get to see this demonstrated through him encouraging project obsidian [which makes him look the opposite of compassionate or responsible given he is excitedly planning to extrajudicially murder cassandra] and then joining the fight against zhan tiri [which literally everyone in corona does]). so do we take what the textual development shows us and conclude that eugene is, at the end of the day, just another cop, or do we take the narrative signaling as a given and fill in the textual gaps with our own imaginations? i tend to fall heavier on the textual side but i do try to take intentions into consideration when they are signaled so clearly, because i understand the structural and corporate limitations on what the tts team were able to do with the story.

anyways - i also have some fraught feelings about new dream because, in the film, it’s not a relationship that i can buy into at all. rapunzel is 17, a few days shy of 18, when an adult man in his mid-twenties tumbles into her bedroom, hits on her, tries to take advantage of her naïveté so he can recover his stolen goods and screw her over because he’s spent his life cultivating an attitude of selfish disregard for anyone but himself, but she’s so sweet he decides to give emotional vulnerability a try and within three days they’re in love and then they get MARRIED?? and he’s literally the first person rapunzel has ever met who wasn’t her “mother”? excuse me???

and i get the impression the tts team was fully cognizant of that problem and made a real effort to address it, as much as they could within the context of the designated disney princess couple - that’s how we get things like the BEA proposal and rapunzel and eugene talking their feelings out afterwards and agreeing to take things slower, and that’s how we get things like rapunzel having cass and eugene having lance so they have lives and identities and relationships outside of each other, and it’s why eugene has a little arc of becoming less self-absorbed in the front half of s1 and why cassandra overtly criticizes his treatment of rapunzel in BEA and so on and so forth. like no one says it OUT LOUD in the series but rapunzel’s and eugene’s relationship is fraught with peril because of the way they met and came together, and it takes significant emotional work from both of them to navigate that to arrive at a healthy place, and i enjoy watching that play out.

so yeah eugene is sometimes too in his own head to notice when something is wrong with rapunzel, like how he misses how unhappy she is in BEA because *he’s* so jazzed about palace living, and sometimes they struggle to get on the same page with each other in general; but that’s just, kind of the gig where relationships are concerned. what matters to me is that whenever these hiccups happen we see, typically some confusion or distress from him or rapunzel or both, and then they reach out for each other and talk about it until they reach an understanding, which is the correct healthy way to manage this sort of conflict in a relationship. and of course through it all eugene is pretty unflagging in his absolute support of rapunzel - even if he doesn’t always *express it* in a good way, he is always very invested in rapunzel’s happiness and well-being. like even the BEA proposal, eugene’s fuck up lies in assuming that rapunzel felt the same way he did about everything and that proposing now would make her happy - there’s self-absorption there but not to the point where he isn’t concerned about her feelings, so when he upsets her he immediately realizes that he screwed up and shelves his own feelings to focus on hers, which is very Good Partner of him.

and then again on a metatextual level i do kind of hate that rapunzel’s arc is essentially, trapped in corona -> adventure! -> adventure is traumatic time to go home -> exact same circumstances she started in but she’s happy about it now. not to say i object to rapunzel embracing her role as a princess/queen per se, but in an ideal world i would like that to come from a place of rapunzel remaking her role to suit herself rather than just kind of… this ‘well got the wanderlust out of my system forever!’ vibe i get from plus est. this isn’t directly related to eugene at all but i think it does splash over onto him on account of him being so closely intertwined with her life in corona. if rapunzel were given an arc about tearing down institutions that stifled her in s1 and really rebuilding corona to be better (something that is lightly implied in canon but never quite makes its way to outright text) then of course eugene would have been her number one supporter - but she doesn’t get that arc and so eugene ends up just kind of being there while rapunzel settles into the role laid out for her. (the destiny narrative being played painfully straight in this regard doesn’t help either.)

this is all a bit of a ramble but i guess what i’m getting at is i think at the end of the day the thing that makes new dream feel a bit stale or stagnant is the series sticking to this aggressively pro-monarchy, status quo is good, mass market appeal narrative enforced by the reality of Disney Princess Show, and that’s not eugene’s fault or any character’s fault, it’s a corporate issue and writing issue.

oh and also personally i think eugene’s biggest flaw in the new dream relationship is he has a tendency to enable rapunzel’s worst impulses via unquestioning support - a little healthy skepticism can be very good for a relationship vs just being your partner’s yes man. so when i imagine a character trajectory for him post-series it involves eugene getting more comfortable pushing back when rapunzel is pursuing ideas that are bad in some way.

#rta #new dream #tldr complicated feelings but ultimately i do like him for rapunzel #and just wish the narrative hadn’t been SO disney princess show but it is what it is yknow?

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esseegg · 4 years ago

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egg theory.

this occurred to me after i saw leaks from Ch. 290 of the My Hero Academia’s manga. it’s not really a theory, just speculation.

warning: contains manga spoilers, Dabi, the Todoroki family, and suicidal implications.

another warning: my thought process is very lengthy and a tad repetitive for the sake of evidence in reasoning. i also get a tad bit “Let’s see what’s in Dabi’s head today” at the end. writer instincts.

I don’t have any images of the manga to pull from, nor am I going to bother with grabbing them. This is more of a psychological analysis, anyways.

For those who’ve read the manga’s most recent chapters, or perhaps even stumbled upon manga snapshots of Dabi, we’ve all noted a few trends: Dabi’s uncharacteristic smile and his uncanny, ecstatic hysteria. At first, we believed this to be a result of potential grieving for Twice’s death and/or the anticipation of finally facing off with Endeavor (for the last time, per se) and/or the thought of seeing Endeavor finally being crushed by Shigaraki’s current rampage.

However, upon seeing Ch. 290′s leaks, I don’t quite believe in such speculations. If anything, these possibilities are not alone. In general, the leaks contain these things: a confession to his mother and the consequent reveal of his Todoroki identity to both his mother and his father.

Setting aside Rei for now, most people have interpreted these details as signs of a final showdown between Dabi and Endeavor. I don’t discredit this. That idiot can’t waltz in with that much drama and not expect a fight in his head.

My problem with all this is that, as we’ve noticed, this energy is entirely opposite of what usually defines Dabi. Dabi is stoic. Dabi is cold. Dabi is not one to go searching for the limelight. Granted, there are a few exceptions to this, but none alike Ch. 290. Here, and as of recent chapters, his carefree attitude is unhinged, fueled by a thrill, an anticipation, a blind excitement, and pure, raw joy.

Now, let’s factor in Rei again. Rei received the news in clearly a much calmer, civil, more sensitive format. You see his body language, and you can see that there is a tenderness in posture alone. He doesn’t even try to put up a front with his expression. It’s plain and simple: a broken, irreparable son giving the last sliver of good he can offer to his mother... The truth.

In summary, Dabi has displayed two things: the giving away of something precious (his identity, tied to his goals and crimes and ongoing life) and blind elation. Most interpret these things as a complex display of vengeance, built atop the foundation of a still human heart. Now.. I do believe the man has a heart. He is certainly human. But humans are scary sometimes.

I don’t think Dabi expects to live. I think he expects to die on that battlefield when he confronts his father. He might not expect to go any further than that. He gave some sort of solace to his mother (as nice as it might’ve been to think him dead, rather than a lost criminal), the possibly last precious person to him in this life.

When suicidal people have finally made the choice, the plans, the preparations for death, they become happy. It’s a misleading thing, actually. They give away what’s important to them, spend a little more time with whoever is most precious to them, then they move on.

I don’t believe that Dabi is looking to die. However, his life’s purpose, which he had been building up to for who knows how long, has finally fallen into place. Once he witnesses or reaches a certain point, I don’t think he will have any complaints about death. And that scares me.

Think about it. His acclaimed ideology is a replicate of Stain’s. Aside from hero society being absolute filth, he believes that if one person has the will for it, they can inflict the change they want to see in the world. And quite frankly? Dabi is very well-equipped for such a thing.

He is a confirmed Todoroki son, son to society’s Number One Hero. Endeavor’s career, fame, prosperity is all at its prime. In public, at least. And Dabi knows this.

Dabi is arguably a perfect candidate to change all that, to inflict the destruction on the world that is his father’s dream. It’s that very dream that chained Rei to Enji, that gave birth to four children, that gave three of those four children complete neglect from their father. That dream, as we all know, has finally been recognized. Without the children. Without the mother. All Endeavor needed was the fall of the great All Might. Now, Endeavor is at the top. And the only direction you can go, after you’ve reached the top, is down.

I wouldn’t put it past Dabi to label himself the manifestation of his father’s corruption and mistreatment of the family. After all, what’s more life-shattering than the Number One’s son turned criminal, killer, and conspirator against society itself? What’s more slandering than the knowledge that the son was not born this evil? That it’s the father’s fault for planting the seeds of long-awaited vengeance?

What’s better than the disgusting climb for morals and virtue, as your old man tries to cry out heartbreak over what you’ve become? What’s better than being the one to kill him? What’s better than forcing him to mayhaps kill you by his own hand? What’s better than letting him know that this is a part of his past, his regrets, his guilt and grief and self-loathing, that he’ll never be able to redeem, fix, and glorify? What’s better than maybe... exposing your old man for what he really is?

Dabi doesn’t necessarily need to do it himself. He just needs to walk up on the stage that is the battlefield, wash his hair dye out, do a twirl, and reclaim the name he had left for dead. Shout it to the world. Go on monologues and maniac speeches for all the heroes to hear. Let them know what Endeavor’s done to his son, to his wife, to his children, to innocent people he didn’t view as humans, but as stepping stones to a dream he didn’t even attain with integrity.

It doesn’t matter who dies. It doesn’t matter who lives. As long as he gets to crush his father’s world, to inflict the change he always wanted to see... he’s happy. Truly, blindingly happy.

disclaimer: i have no idea what the leaks say, only that Dabi’s shirtless and a little dramatic. all my reasoning is based on recalled information, with no check for accuracy. i’m just scared that Dabi is going to canonly die, and the fandom will need to collectively feed itself with coping mechanism fanart and fanfics to pretend our burnt chicken nugget is still with us. have a nice day.

#bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha 290 #mha 290 #dabi #dabi my hero academia #touya todoroki #egg's thoughts #i'm probably an overthinker but i just think this train of thought was cool #i've already thought of counters to prolong Dabi's life for at least one corn chip's worth #but meh #the egg's gotta hoard a little

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captainkurosolaire · 4 years ago

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Destined ‘X’ Forever

“Ye wouldn’t b’ doin’ anything that’d take a special kind ov’ stupid now would ya’ ma’ Lord?” A cheeky rattle hit in a echo of the barren Ruins. For all intended reasoning's this wasn’t a planned encounter. Last he saw his Noble other halve was after attempting to salve some helpful advice to put him in a discovery. Though what the amber optic witnessed was anything but the type of discovery he meant. The pirate meant from the self. This was someone who couldn’t move on. Didn’t know how. This is hurt. He had been there, embraced it, and the result damaged him past the point of repair a self-searing that he still hadn’t entirely resolved. And forever because he couldn’t contain or control his heartbreak he discredited and discarded it. Letting it coal until he lost himself and a savage feasted on his homed temple. A severance between souls. A path to nefarious and damaging for anything that crossed was a clear future for Elune. If he paid the price and fed that side of demonizing that festered in all thing’s in varied degrees of morality. He would become consumed with dangerous and devastating levels that may scar him in irrecoverably.

“I..hate..you.” Muttered off breath before turning to face and direct to ensure this was more personal his regality was cracking he was so shortly an ilm away from being granted his wishful desire by utilizing a forbidden relic that protruded a hint of Mhachi. However, by activating this, It’d cost his last remaining dignity, his humanity he akin to most chose to run from it thinking and disassociating it as ‘weakness’ for the appearance and value it often represented no-good. He was possessed and consumed with the empty. That hollow part of losing a piece that stabled and made you feel wholly, he had forgotten what living was like without it after a sip. Without something to protect to be any meaning, he found himself misplaced. Knights didn’t exist without their duties or their morals to wage crusades in belief or service; they were dull like any Samurai in the obligated swords sworn after they slew their intended advisory it was weightless and immeasurable. None of that crossed his mind that once was recognized and pristine for being intelligent, all other forms living or to be sacrificed were insignificant, they could all be shriveled and pay the price even if it brought utter devastation and internal turmoil to that which he so starved to have returned to him. This resentment stood beyond even their current vessel’s their souls were entwined to contest. Negatives and positives. “I hate you. I hate everything about you, your stupid hat, your trashy ingrate demeanor. All of it! Hate is my sum for you.. You--- you’re, why I am here in this position. You cost me, my world! If you weren’t such an irritating blight, I would’ve never lost control… I’d still have them!” Flailing his arms out in the arm like a tampered child throwing his blame. The crystallized air around him howled in chimed ice sang like a banshee as his instability continued. Captain swallowed soft listening before presenting a stepped chortle and follow, “You need a tissue? Or a tampon for yer leakage?” The Seeker fired back as during that entire rant he just nodded his head. “Mate, I’ll b’ straight blunt yer being a bitch. O’ boohoo, ye lost something in your sheltered life, you in your fancy Ishgardian Walls always catered and given and throwing a hissy fit when ye didn’t get something fer Starlight. Your rant is the same shite I’d get from a dozen of stuttering cucks at the Quicksands for me so effortlessly tossing their lass over my shoulder and tending to them from their plagued bore. -Ye hate me? What a crock… Matey you don’t hate me, you just hate yourself. You got caught, ye won a battle but I got in your most prized place -- your head. Fail to understand your performance in our last skirmish saw you ACTING more like a pirate than a noble. Ye can’t get those thoughts ov’ me outta your mind… How naughty.” Tsking with a finger waggle further adding antagonizing fuel with even more expression by holding his chest to shield his exposure in that unnerving smug. “Standing over there and wanting t’ talk about hatred and losses. Ye murdered my near entire crew, ye tried dismantling another. Ye kidnapped my Star Healer and stole her away to fuck who knows where and then n’ your whole, ‘I gotta be th’ Elite White Shining Knight’, ye let her suffer alone and vanish to silence! Ye point and like t’ remind others of their failures, their faults, but conjure a solid mirror with that fancy-dancy magick. Leviathan… I gave ye an ale and I didn’t even charge ye on your last visit t’ my Cabin. I told you…! I warned you…! I did more than enough in my part, so-wait, is this what I’m missing out on sticking around for parenthood? Just sheer disappointment? This was supposed t’ be your discovery, but let me guess, the only thing you figured out in this entire time is that, ‘O I’ve got a dick, so well, I must be one and I’ll damn the rest in my way even the ones I love? Not even factoring their own thoughts? YOU aren’t wanted back. There’s isn’t any riveting other reasoning why they discarded themselves from you.” He unleashed every form of his smash-mouth and laid out the crass even if overkill. Thick skulls often were swelled in ego and ego was born often of entitled never spoken against, here enters the brazen. All the while Shiro’s fist rattled and quenched his inner demonic price for all his sin’s and wrongs began transforming and corrupting his veins, his roots that stemmed inside became a grotesque green. “Enough! What does the pirate know of actual loss and pain? You are thieves, takers, you’re scum. Compassion and your kind don’t mix, nor does it exist. Use everything and leave, you can’t even remain devoted to a single solitary thing. Always roaming without purpose to the next big thing for your greed. Making every little detail’s about yourself. Do not forget, I met your crew… None of them are innocent. It didn’t matter which you led. They were all heathens. Neither of them could listen to their betters. They didn’t respect anyone outside you, and when you were missing and disappeared on your so-called ‘shipwreck’ those who salvaged and carried your flag paid your price. You brought them into a War against a literal Sea Empire. None of them were equipped or readied. And without me, they would’ve all been slaughtered maggots. They even wanted to kill each other and decapitate the latter to get some heroic favors or get into the panties of your ‘woman’ you led only a cult of unwashed stains. Threatening like the barbarians you raised to even lash out at my sister because her own heart was on the opposing side. Who even was brainwashed and used as another pawn on the board though despite that fact their inbreed tribal and unorthodox wild crew of yours was but the essence of chaos. You mere peasants outside the Pillars and the arrogance you bestow, are far grander than anything we harbor.” Now it was the Keeper’s turn to verbally unleash a hailstorm. They bickered like an old couple cover many generations of grudges. Building their resentments and hatred until… that moment where there wasn’t going any back and one swung. The words actually began rattling against the Captain’s inner instincts and primal urges. For his own bonded knot was mentioned and brought up. The tone of Shiro’s higher ‘superiority’ shout echoed against the blank and outdoor ruins in a condense clap. Was steering and disturbing a slumber that snarled, his complexion became more heated. Irregular and unnatural... The scoundrel’s blood began surging. Weapons in War only ever are mentioned what was used to quell or the materialistic solution. Never in mentioning how any War or Battle began. Often originated from disputes. The contesting of disagreement is what drew first-blood before any sharp dared part flesh from. “What th’ seventh hell did ye say?” The ruffian stepped in closer even against biting and foreboding chills. A vein vessel popping out of his forehead. Shiro’s visage turned to a dastardly and deviled one impractical aetherial horn’s started to lowly form on his temple. “Many things and all I assure you, I mean them all. Your crew was worthless they lapped up and swam under your dirty seawater. You a Captain? A joke, your, -kind- don’t have admirable emotions or hearts, you are written as heartless and crude as you’ll always be known utter tasteless, savaged buffoons. THAT is your booked cover and shall always be to me and anyone else with somewhat wit.” The Seeker’s steps continuing forward his framework began bulking up hit by a nerve earlier. Every part of Shiro’s weighted words came from a merciless and mean intent. Making every remark sound as categorized and labeled as possible. The first step of all Jailers and those that hide behind anything against the grain or that make them feel even the slightest uncomfortable about the insecurities often came from classification putting a firm distinction between someone else innocently in the cross-hairs to try so desperately to distance themselves and stay on their elevated ladders, artificial thrones above someone. Despite that answer wasn’t what left a sour look on the mug of the rugged slicker those didn’t seem to be what triggered him. “No, the other.” He corrected calmly his stance seemed like a preparing lunge.

Shiro knew all too well what he said and brought a gleeful sinister grin to further elaborate the struck cord. “Ah right, the pathetic and high-excuse of a complex woma--” Right before he could finish that deplorable remark. The Blackguard used a rash Ghost Step (Shukuchi) to close in and lob for a full-force spinning roundhouse. (Previous) — /References/ — ♫ ‘Invincible ♫ — (Next Page)

#Part 1 of 6 #Expect em daily #Final Fantasy XIV #FFXIV #Lord Shiro Elune #Seeker of the Sun #Enough spat to melt an iceberg #Keeper of the Moon #Miqo'te #Noble vs Pirate #Rivalry #reader discretion advised #Battle from 0-3 #Time to warm out of this rust #creative writing

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