#this is free practice and worst case scenario I will impress them with my refusal to quit when it’s challenging

[coolfoxykitkat]

Me: I have real actual experience for this job.

Job: That’s pretty good. We’ll definitely consider you as a viable candidate.

Me: I can pass a drug test immediately and I’m reliable.

Job: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME WORK FOR US PLEASE PL-

[downfordiluc]

Kaeya x F Reader One Shot. [Modern AU].

Warning // Explicit Language. No Smut, only fluff.

Synopsis: a night filled with alcohol, dancing and feelings. 

If you rubbed your eyes one more time, you feared they may disappear inside of your skull. The display on your laptop was beginning to sear your retinas, as you watched the clock tick over to 11:30 pm. You should have left work hours ago. Having a hardass for a boss had wasn't something really had any benefits to it, other than the sizeable paycheck you took home after a long week's work; often going ten or twenty hours over your actually scheduled nine to five days.

Being able to finally click save and close the torture machine in front of you was something that you spent every working moment impatiently waiting for, and the satisfaction you got from knowing you could finally go and slump into your bedsheets was something that never really lost its novelty. And yet, tonight wasn't going to be one of those nights.

"Wanna go cause some trouble?"

You looked up blearily at the voice, seeing a tall, tan figure leaning against your doorway, one hand on his hip, and the other in his pocket. The smirk on his lips was one that you couldn't get enough of, but you'd never admit it. You'd never give him the satisfaction of admitting it.

"It's almost midnight, Kaeya." you remarked, as you shrugged your leather jacket onto your shoulders. Despite the protest in your tone, you had basically already succumbed to his plans before even hearing them, as you collected your belongings that were spread over your desk. "And so the night is only young, [Y/N], whaddya say?". This man knew he was born with a silver tongue, and had the power to persuade even the most stubborn to follow his every command. You knew this, and yet you fell victim every damn time.

"Where are we going?", you practically had a white flag waving above your head, as you walked through the door he held open, and yet you weren't fooled - Kaeya was no gentleman. He was a sweet talker, and he played the field like it was second nature to him. Life was like a game of chess, except he was always 5 moves ahead, taking piece after piece off of the board. Women were the pawns.

"Diluc's club, he pissed me off yesterday, and if my memory serves, you're not best pleased with him either.", he looked as though his plan had fallen into place, and yet it had one fatal flaw. "So your plan for revenge, is to financially provide for him by drinking in his club?". You felt as though you had his king in check - winning the game of chess - and might actually get to go home for the night. Yet that stupid smirk returned, and you instantly dropped the glimmer of hope you had grasped onto. "Money is simply an object to him, you know this. But just imagine the look on his face if he saw us both having the time of our goddamn lives, huh?". You hated to admit it, but to see that exact face you were now picturing was an opportunity you would not pass up, even if you hadn't slept for a week.

The night was bitter, biting at your cheeks as you walked down the cobblestoned alleys. No matter how much you pulled at your thin jacket for warmth, it simply wasn't the right choice of attire for the middle of February. "I know a way to warm you up." the man to your right quipped, and you instinctually glared up at him, seeing a saccharine sweet smile upon his face. You rolled your eyes and looked away from him, refusing to step into the trap that was his syrupy gaze. You knew better.

"Vodka".

You heard him chuckle at your blunt response. A soft, breathy laugh that could melt ice, and the heat that rose to your cheeks was welcoming, considering the harsh winds that felt like icicles piercing your skin. He really did have a way to make women putty in his hands, and you had never been more glad you considered yourself above that, considering you were about to get absolutely shit-faced together.

One shot turned to two, and two turned to three, as you bottomed the foul liquid, and slammed each glass onto the table with a loud clink. You hadn't done this in a while, and it had been even longer since you had done it with another person. Drinking alone was usually your style, which now you realised was actually quite sad.

"Slow down, darlin', they'll run out if you aren't careful.", he had absolutely no right to be using words like that, and even less right to witness the colour that lit your cheeks alight. Suddenly, staring at the marble bar seemed a lot more interesting.

"Mind your own business, Alberich. You said you wanted to have fun, this is how I have fun.". You knew full well the worse was yet to come. They say everyone has a second personality when they're drunk, and yours enjoyed partying like the world was going to end tomorrow. You noticed he was nursing his whiskey, and frowned at him, tilting your head to the side and resting it on your fist.

"Didn't take you to be a lightweight." you smiled devilishly into your words, watching his eyes widen slightly in surprise, you could practically see him recoil as though you had smacked him in the face. "Someone's gotta be able to walk to take you home.". The laugh you let out in response was a hearty, full one. Something you hadn't done in a while. You pushed at his shoulder, mocking him further. "Let go, have fun! Worst case scenario, we sleep on the floor. I never took you to be the boring one, Kaeya."

Enough was enough, he raised his glass and allowed the burning liquid to slip down his throat. He pulled a face before his glass made the same clink that your shots had been making for the past hour. "It's on, darlin."

"Two more shots over here, dear brother." You had almost forgotten why you came tonight, as you saw the redhead's brows almost touch, frowning as he had no choice but to stop ignoring the two of you, which he had been trying to do since you strutted into his club.

"And two for me!" You giggled into your words, as he gave you a look that you had never seen on his face. "I like your style, [Y/N]". His voice was lower than usual, probably from the assault on his throat the whiskey had enacted, but you had to admit, it sounded good that way. Too good, judging by the butterflies kicking up a fuss in your stomach. You decided to simply drown them in alcohol, as Diluc slid the drinks across to you without even muttering a word.

You must have had seven or eight shots of vodka by now, and at this point, Kaeya wasn't far behind, his jacket and tie discarded over the back of his stool, as well as two buttons on his shirt being undone. A deep v of tan skin practically begging you to stare. You had similarly discarded your jacket behind you, the alcohol flooding through your veins being what you attributed your rising body temperature to. You didn't even seem to care that all you had on was a lowcut, white tank top, which definitely left a lot less to the imagination than intended. Hopefully, the lighting was low enough that he didn't notice the lace of your bra creating lines under the thin fabric.

"Ahh, I love this song."

You didn't even seem in control of the words leaving your mouth, as a low, smooth beat filled the air around you. This song was one that you would definitely dance to in private, or if you weren't absolutely wasted. Before you even fully acknowledged what you were doing, you had climbed onto the surface in front of you and were gyrating your hips in a way that you wouldn't be caught dead doing sober. Vodka really lowered your inhibitions, a fact which was clearly evident to Kaeya, who couldn't help but stare as your hands worked their way down your body, slowly moving along to the music. He wasn't the only one staring. Pretty much the whole club was watching you let loose on the bar, ogling your figure and looking you up and down like meat on a stick. Diluc, however, could not have looked less impressed if he tried.

"[Y/N], get down from there. Everyone is staring.", Kaeya seemed almost possessive, as he extended his arm to you, trying to convince you to come down, and yet, you hadn't felt this free in a while. "You come up here! Dance with me, darlin'.". He seemed flushed at you using his words against him, but his stance didn't falter, as he kept insisting you come down from the bar. For a change, him and Diluc actually agreed on something.

"You're going to fall, [Y/N]."

"Then catch me, Prince Charming."

Your words were slurred, and it was clearly evident that you were inebriated beyond any point of logic, so Kaeya decided to take things into his own hands. He grabbed at your wrist and lightly pulled, expecting you to get the message, and finally come down. Definitely not expecting you to topple like a domino.

As your brain stopped feeling like it had just been scrambled, you noticed Kaeya's face only inches away from yours, before acknowledging that your body was pressed against his own. You'd actually fallen, holy shit, you were wasted. And yet, he had caught you. Prince Charming had really saved you - how ironic. His strong, defined muscles against your body were significantly more welcoming than the floor, that was for sure. If you weren't already completely certain that you had had more than enough to drink, you were once you caught yourself speaking.

"How about we take this somewhere more private, handsome?". You would be kicking yourself for those words once your blood stopped being what felt like 99% alcohol, and yet right now, you were biting your lip, looking up at him, barely noticing the flush under his tanned skin.

"How about we take you home?" was his response, as he tried to put you onto the floor, your legs buckling, as you sink to his knees. He sighed in defeat, tucking both of your jackets over his shoulder, and pulling you back up to cradle in his arms, using the warmth of his blazer as a pillow as you rested onto his shoulder. Maybe you were the lightweight, after all.

During the walk home, you hardly noticed the cold, between how hot the alcohol had you, and the warmth of his body heat pressed against yours. You barely acknowledged the journey ending until you felt the familiar softness of your bed under your warm body. Instinctively, you curled up onto your side, hugging a pillow, and kicking your shoes off of the side of the sheets.

"Goodnight, [Y/N]. I had fun with you tonight." Despite your vision being blurry, you could tell he was leaned against the wall the exact same way he had been hours ago at work, and you reached for his arm, tugging on his sleeve.

"Stay with me, Kaeya. Please.", you could feel yourself slowly sobering up, as your thoughts became less cloudy and your feelings becoming more lucid, and all you wanted was for him to stay by your side. Nothing sexual about it, you just wanted to feel his body heat radiating against yours as you slipped into slumber. You felt as though you could see the wanting in his eyes also, but his words begged to differ.

"I'll be on the couch." his reply left you feeling downcast, however, this was short-lived as you felt his lips lightly kiss you on the forehead, leaving the spot they had been tingling and prickling with heat. You were comforted knowing he would be there in any capacity, and that was the thought that nursed you to sleep pretending the pillow in your arms was the man who had caught you not long ago.  You knew that you had caught feelings for him in turn. Maybe he wasn't so bad, after all? Maybe he could be your knight in shining armor. The one to keep you company on what would be a lonely night drinking, and the one to hold you tight as your head pounded into the early hours of the morning. Anything would be good, as long as he was there.

[xathia-89]

Headcanons: Modern Warlords and finding out she’s pregnant

I’ve only done Nobunaga, Mitsuhide, Hideyoshi, Yoshimoto and Shingen 

Nobunaga

Everyone had been eager for him to get home, even Hideyoshi, which was a giveaway that his fireball was up to something. The press and public knew nothing of her, despite the suspicions that when she moved in with him then the rumours that Nobunaga was no longer single would be circulating. He still attends events with a different woman on his arm, or on his own. She always dressed him up and made sure that he looked as handsome as possible and never voiced any problems with the arrangement. Until the last few weeks anyway, and during the latest one, she had gotten so tearful and upset that she had locked herself in the bathroom until he had to leave. He had ended up sending Hideyoshi over to look after her for the time being and she was asleep in their bed when he had made it home.

Getting to their penthouse was east, but even the doorman seemed to know something as he walked into the entrance hall of the apartment block. Then when he got through their front door, she wasn’t in her usual spot on the sofa, hiding from him but there was a plain box wrapped in a ribbon with his name on it and the faintest smell of freesias from her perfume only frustrating him more.

Opening the box gave him more questions, since the sole object enclosed was a memory stick with a note saying to plug it into the television.

The image flickered onto the screen once it loaded. She looked as gorgeous as usual, but something was bothering her from the expression she was wearing, and the way she was playing with the hem of her skirt gave that impression as well before she gave a strained smile.

Hey, I know you expected me home since everyone has practically shove you into our apartment by now. I’ve something to tell you, but it comes with some agreements and adjustments.

The concern on her face worried him, along with the fact that she couldn’t say this straight up to his face.

I had to organise this because you’ve been so busy with work that you’ve missed all of the clues. I’m not blaming you, it’s the nature of you and your work, I’m explaining myself in the situation, and the only other person who knows our exact situation as well is our doctor, who was told he couldn’t tell anyone.

All of the worst-case scenarios were flying through his head. Maybe it was cancer, possibly terminal, or was it an autoimmune problem? Moving could help with this, and definitely a private nurse and doctor.

We’ve got a little princess on the way.

His mind went blank until her rich laughter from the screen brought him back, while holding an ultrasound photo in her hands.

She’s doing well, growing as she should be for how old she is. But there are a few questions I need to know the answer to before we get too far ahead of ourselves.

He felt the sofa dip under her weight, giving her time to settle comfortably before her screen self nodded for him to look at her in person, the screen switching to black. His body turned on automation, an arm supporting his weight over the back of the sofa behind her, and his free hand cupping her damp cheek. She was the type to cry when she was stressed and then cry more because she was mad at herself for crying as his thumb stroked over her skin.

“Please, what are those questions, fireball? Aside from that, I will need to know what you will need for a comfortable pregnancy, and if you are okay with a swift court ceremony the moment I get us a spot and then a big press ceremony when our princess is around nine months old?” The words couldn’t fall out of his mouth quickly enough, watching her facial expressions closely. “I’ll make a public announcement that you aren’t to be bothered, and I’ll assign you a bodyguard who will get his own team together and ensure that you aren’t bothered by the press.”

Her laughter made him stop, in time for him to see the cutest shade of pink creeping up her cheeks. “You just answered them,” she smiled. “I was in love when I found out I was pregnant, I just needed to know if I was doing this on my own with your financial assistance, or if we were in this together.”

Her expression was the cutest, and it made him melt on the inside. He kissed her lovingly, his arm sliding from the sofa to around her back and then lifting her onto his lap.

“Not a chance of you being on your own fireball, and I’ll fire anyone who tries to insist I remove the wedding band to sell anything,” he murmured, nuzzling into her hair.

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Mitsuhide

He hated some missions some days, and this was definitely one of them. It had been six months since he had last seen, spoken or held her in his arms. He hadn’t been able to even let her know that he would be gone in person, he had been at work and then told by his superiors that he was leaving now for the mission after the briefing. She had told him that morning that she had some news for him after work, and it had turned into six months of hell to find out. Being dismissed by his superior officers was the best feeling he’d had in a long time, though his glare had probably sped up the final briefing as he crossed the grounds to get to the on-base housing.

“Akechi-sama!” A recruit snapped to attention, a blush on his face at being caught lingering around his front garden before a familiar face opened the front door of his house and urgently gestured for him to come in.

“Thank god,” Ieyasu muttered, the blond man who had answered the door leading him through his house. “There were constant rumours that you had defected or died. The idiot couldn’t get out of the house some days for admirers.”

There was an extra layer of venom to Ieyasu’s tone that Mitsuhide didn’t like, never mind that Ieyasu had nicknamed his wife ‘the idiot’ for the entirety of their marriage. Though the idea of anyone bothering his little mouse in his absence was a sour taste in his mouth.

“And this is Daddy terrorising Uncle Hideyoshi,” Mitsuhide froze for a moment before bursting through ahead of Ieyasu into the living room where her voice was coming from.

The focus of the room was on him, captured and still in the moment as his golden gaze was fixated on his wife. She was lounging on the sofa, headphones on a very pronounced bump and hooked up to a laptop playing a video as he crossed the room seamlessly. She was a cycle of emotions before he sat down on the sofa and looked at the screen. It was playing out a video of the previous summer, he was terrorising Hideyoshi at a barbecue in the back garden, his chest swelling with new feelings as he recalled what he had overheard before busting into the room. His arms were around her, and he didn’t trust himself to speak as his friends all smiled and nodded their heads at him in goodbyes, leaving the couple in peace.

His wife had managed to wriggle free, removing the headphones from her bump, tidying them away before Mitsuhide pulled her back onto the sofa, secure in his arms. He nuzzled into her neck, still believing it to be a dream. He could never have dared to hope that this was the news that she had wanted to share. He was absent more than he was present, and she always seemed to be willing to wait for him, even now her fingers were finding those spots on his head that would relax him. It was too good to be true on the surface, this could be a dream still.

“Mitsuhide?” Her voice vibrated through her chest and against his, it was the right pitch, volume and tone for her as he lifted his head from her hair. “I think we need to talk.”

“I assume that this was the thing you wanted to discuss before I left?” He hand was stroking over her bump, trying to keep himself from breaking as he felt a foot collide with his touch.

“I had missed my period, and I wanted your opinion on waiting to get a pregnancy test or not,” her voice was so soft and unassuming, before her hand was on top of his. “I waited until it was clear that you were on an assignment before I went to speak to Ieyasu. He’s kept the bill for you.”

“Not long left then?” He had a lump in his throat at the thought of her going through pregnancy alone, but she was insanely strong like that.

“About three weeks, and then we get to meet our little girl,” she was so happy to share the news with him finally, their fingers entwined as a head butted against them.

“I presume my little mouse has done all the work for her arrival?” He chuckled, nuzzling into her hair as he was in the realm of disbelief over the news. He didn’t have long to prepare mentally for this, but then again he never did with his missions.

“Of course,” her tone was sly, looking up at him. “But, your superiors refuse to believe it’s your child and give you the time off.”

“Mm, well, when she arrives, then I am sure that there will be irrefutable evidence to her patronage,” he smirked before kissing his wife softly.

-----------------------------------------------------

Yoshimoto

She had been off-colour recently, though seeing her at the exhibition that she had mostly inspired was also the thing that made him realise just how much she was bothered by it. He had to admire how much she was playing nice with the pervy old men who sponsored him as a way of finding new mistresses at these events. Natsuki had a way with words on turning them down, and it had only turned nasty on a handful of occasions. Mostly they would end up flattered to have met her, have an enlightening conversation and then come to find him and praise him for having such an intelligent partner. It made sense for her glass to be filled with ginger beer, as she loitered near one of his sculptures, tilting her head as though she was absorbing her interpretation of it.

He wanted nothing more than to show her off to the room, but he had to suck it up as he was stuck in a conversation with a few of his long standing sponsors. He was mostly discussing the turbulence that had surrounded Japan and influenced his works, but the sound of a slap silenced everyone and made the room look straight to the source of the sound.

Natsuki was looking mortified, her hand over her mouth in shock at what she had done since his cheek was flushed red from the strike. He didn’t recognise the man standing over her, but it took the room a few seconds to start murmuring with their presumptions while Yoshimoto was making his excuses and heading straight for her.

“You ought to have her thrown out! Terrible behaviour when all I did was ask to buy her a drink,” the stranger immediately began to launch into a rant the moment he approached.

“Are you okay?” Yoshimoto asked her, realising that she was shaking as well when he was closer.

She shook her head. “He was trying to get me to leave with him, he was on about getting to know him better and he was lavishing on the features of his hotel room,” her ramblings were displaying her vulnerability. Yoshimoto was never one for public affection at the viewings, but his arms were around her, stroking her back as he glowered at the stranger. “He was saying that I needed to be nice to him and be a good girl because he knows people and that he would make my life difficult if I didn’t sleep with him. Then after I first refused, he was saying I should be used to whoring myself out because I’m an artist and that’s how I’ll really get my patrons to afford to eat. He said that getting my work shown is good, but I should suck him off and then his friends, and then I’ll get rich the way a girl like me should be.”

It was impossible to avoid not knowing what had happened at that point. He could hear most people displaying their distaste, and even more shifting uncomfortably to see the intimate gestures between him and Natsuki.

“I’d not associate yourself with her any more, she will drag you down to the degenerate level that all artists thrive on,” the stranger sneered, before one of the sponsors was able to make his way over and insert himself into the conversation.

“Mr Ito!” The sponsor smiled broadly. “May I introduce you to Natsuki Saito, the heiress of Saito Fashions, and to the star of the event, Yoshi?”

The expression on Mr Ito’s face fell rapidly, as he realised the assumptions that had been made were all wrong.

“I must admit that when I heard the name Yoshi I did assume that Natsuki was the artist at first as well, until her father explained that his future son-in-law was seeking some sponsorship to spread his work. Mr Saito was full of nothing but praise for Yoshi, and how Natsuki had worked so hard to ensure that their relationship met all of his terms for his blessing. So I know what Miss Saito is like, Mr Ito, and for her reaction to have been so extreme, then I do also believe her story. Which isn’t the first I’m hearing of your behaviour. All of our business has been conducted under certain good faith clauses, but this is very much coming into doubt especially since you’ve begun to deflect all payment requests to my payment departments while continuing to keep all of your income,” the conversation began to fade into the background as Yoshimoto walked himself and Natsuki out onto a small and private balcony for some fresh air.

“I’m sorry,” was out of her mouth before he could stop her.

He wrapped his arms back around her, bringing her flush to him as he kissed her forehead. “You have nothing to apologise for, but it’s very unusual behaviour for you.”

“I found out I’m pregnant this morning,” she blurted out, before blushing furiously.

Laughter was his knee jerk response, he couldn’t stop himself before he squeezed her tightly. She was the only person on this planet that he would even have considered having a kid with, but it just had never been a conversation that they had ever had in all of their years of dating as she pouted up at him. “I’m sorry, but that was the cutest way of telling me,” he chuckled, kissing her hair. “Is that why you’ve been so strange for the past few weeks?”

“Yeah,” she admitted reluctantly and buried her face into his chest before she remembered that she was wearing makeup and groaned in defeat.

“Let’s go home, I think my sponsors can take care of things,” he smiled and kissed the top of her head.

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Hideyoshi

Late nights and long shifts were the norm. She knew that it would be lonely at times when they met at university, but now they were both flourishing in their chosen careers. At the moment, it wasn’t something that she appreciated while she was sat on the sofa, picking her lip from nervousness and watching the sunrise while waiting for him to get off a sixteen-hour shift. Normally, it could and would have waited until after she came home from work so they would both be rested, but sleep was the last thing on her mind.

“Natsuki?” His footsteps were rushed from the front door of their small apartment, a frown on his face as he knelt down in front of her, checking her over visually for signs of illness. Then his gaze fell on what was tightly clenched in her hand.

The deer in headlights look wasn’t one she saw often on him. He saw all sorts of scenarios at work, but it wasn’t him that was affected by the situation, her hand beginning to reluctantly uncurl from around the object. The puzzle pieces began to fall into place. It hadn’t been food poisoning, she had been moodier than usual and her clothes weren’t shrinking.

“Have you seen a doctor?”

He would jump to that, as she picked up the letter next to her with the hospital’s header on top of it. The results in black and white for them both to see.

“I went yesterday morning, after taking a test before you came home from work. But, I still didn’t believe that, so I took this one last night after work,” she explained quietly. “They’ve booked in a scan for next week, first thing in the morning just after your shift ends. I gave them your name as the father and this slot magically appeared after they tried to say it needed to be the middle of the day.”

“It’ll take no time at all then for my colleagues to be teasing me,” he was smiling widely as she finally lifted her head.

“I thought you didn’t want kids just yet, that your career wasn’t as stable as you would like?”

“No, but you’re pregnant right now, and I can’t see anyone but you being the mother of my children,” his joy was barely contained, kissing her on the head as she was frozen in confusion. “We’ll need to make sure everything is sorted. Maybe look at moving sooner rather than later, and school areas are definitely a cause for concern,” he was already miles ahead of her, shattering all of her fears as she laughed brightly. “What?”

“You’re such a mother,” she giggled, wrapping her arms around him.

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Shingen

When she remembered the tabloid stories about him, it always made her nervous. He came from money and constantly had models, pop stars and influential people falling over him. He was gorgeous, men and women alike would fawn over him as she twirled a lock of hair around her finger before a ‘tsk’ noise made her jump.

“Yukimura would kill him if he did anything,” Kenshin scoffed, shaking his head at the television that was currently playing the music awards ceremony. Managers almost never managed to get any kind of spotlight, but Shingen just attracted attention by nature. It had gotten to the point that he had hired a security detail for the pair of them by default. “You’re the only girl that hasn’t made any scenes or drama for the sake of headlines and attention, and Shingen has stayed completely faithful to you.”

“Did you tell him where we really went yesterday?”

“I’m not Yukimura,” Kenshin scowled, pouring himself out a large sake, and then carried a fresh bottle over with him to sit with her on the sofa. “But don’t delude yourself that Shingen won’t know something is wrong with you.”

“He doesn’t need me adding to his worries,” she snapped back, arms folded over a bloated stomach after she leant back into the sofa cushions.

“That’s for him to decide,” Kenshin replied, sitting at the opposite end of the furniture, before the chaos on the screen, caught both of their attentions. The two were fixated as a rising starlet was trying to throw herself at Shingen, shrieking loudly and demanding that he acknowledged the pregnancy results in her hand.

He was as graceful as ever in the face of accusation, but paused and the facade seemed to crack as he read the sheet. It was passed to Yuki, the two muttering and the smaller man shaking his head before Shingen was looking at the intruder again.

“What’s your name?” He wasn’t as put together as usual, and it was going to make stories regardless of what the outcome was here.

“Yuka Saito,” she proudly announced, apparently glad to be getting her five minutes of fame.

“Which means these results aren’t yours,” Shingen was looking down the camera, he always told them to watch a specific station each time he was on the television and she knew why now. “Kenshin, keep yourself parked on my couch with her.”

Everyone was startled by the sharp change in demeanour, not that it stopped all the photos being taken. The speed at which Yukimura had the car already brought to Shingen and then speeding off down the road had everyone with slack jaws. Then the reporters started buzzing with news of ‘her’, trying to work out who could possibly have the playboy manager on a leash.

Kenshin didn’t care that he was in trouble, he simply changed the channel they were watching on the screen after closing all the curtains around the penthouse apartment.

“Natsuki!” was bellowed the second the door was thrown open before Shingen came storming into the living room. “What did I tell you about going to public hospitals?”

“That’s what you’re choosing to be mad about at this moment?!” She yelled back in disbelief, standing up from the sofa.

“Right now, yes!” He frowned. “I told you when we went public that this sort of thing was liable to happening,” Shingen sighed, his hand running through his hair. “Kenshin, I’m revoking your sake and pickled plum tab for a month, and I’ll make it a year if you slip up before the baby has their first photoshoot released.”

“Wait, what?” Natsuki was frowning in confusion, before Shingen had his arms around her, stroking her back and burying his head into the crook of her neck. He was making sure she was okay while coming down from his own adrenaline high. “I thought we agreed that this would be nothing serious-”

“Natsuki, nothing serious was over the moment we fell into bed together,” his head was lifted, and his hands were cupping her cheeks now with a faint blush over his cheeks. She could feel Kenshin smirking at her from behind, and Yukimura was trying to look anywhere but at them. “You haven’t left my apartment for longer than a day, and I can’t remember the last time you did anything more than collect things out of your apartment never mind sleep there.”

“I assumed that you wouldn’t want a baby given your lifestyle and the type of job you have,” she trailed off, playing with his tie.

“And I would give that all up, because I know I am in love with you. It’s only been you for more than two years now, more than that really. You know me. You knew what was going on and what my reputation was, and you never once pressured me into changing when we were casual for the eighteen months before that. You don’t try to change things that would make me unhappy, but there is one thing I’d love to change about you,” he paused, and smiled as she went to object. “Your last name,” Shingen was soon down on one knee in front of her, holding her hand as he looked up at her in earnest.

Natsuki was crying like a baby, throwing her arms around him instantly. “Yes! You impossibly smooth buffoon!” She cried, clutching at his jacket.

His chuckle was low, the two cradled close together as Shingen lifted her up and moved them both to sitting on the sofa again. Yukimura and Kenshin were back to checking the security as he held her close, the unease banished from them both for now.

[fullmetalscullyy]

Don't feel obligated to write this but if you're free could you write a royai oneshot where Grumman abolishes the anti fraternization laws so roy is finally able to take riza on a romantic date?

ahhhhh this prompt gave me life!!! thank you so much uwu

i genuinely love canon dates like this bc even though it will never happen who cares that’s what fic is all about and it means i can be as self indulgent as i want 👀

The daythe news broke ended like every other day. The team said their farewells atfive o’clock on the dot. It was Friday night, after all, and Roy wouldn’t holdthem back longer than was necessary. It had been a long week working theirlatest case, but it had been closed today and there was talk under the tablethat it might be enough to push him to General.

Said talkcame from Fuhrer Grumman himself, so Roy was inclined to believe it. The mancould be conniving and wily, but when it came to Roy’s career and ascension tothe top, Grumman was forward and blunt.

“You didsecure the position for me, after all,” he would state cheerily, twisting hismoustache. But when his expression relaxed, his eyes opening as his smilefaded, Roy always saw the same cunning glint within them.

Call it afavour for a favour.

One otherfavour, in return for taking care of his granddaughter – not that she needed“taken care of” at all, but he was an old man from a different time so theyboth played along – was abolishing a certain set of laws that prevented themfrom making the old man’s dream come to fruition.

Thefraternization laws were in place simply to protect officers from each other.They weren’t really enforced, however if any issues arose then they were for afew months as the issue was dealt with – the worst-case scenario ending in atransfer – before dying out to lie in wait in the background once more.

Roy andRiza never risked it because in order to reach the top they needed to besqueaky clean. Not the mention the fact that if the homunculi knew about themthen all hell would break loose.

Just likeit did when the late Fuhrer Bradley took Hawkeye hostage.

“Any plansfor this evening General?” Hawkeye asked casually as she stood patiently beforehis desk, waiting on him to finish signing off the report of their latest case.

It hadbeen exactly a month to the day since the fraternisation laws had beenrepealed.

“Just one,if you would be willing,” he ventured, handing over the manila folder, but notrelinquishing his control. Hawkeye’s eyes flashed up to his, raising an eyebrowat his hesitation to let go.

“Oh?”

“Whatwould you say to dinner?”

Silencefell as Riza regarded him. He watched as she calculated his request, openingher mouth to refuse, but then paused, lips slightly apart after an intake ofbreath as she remembered what had happened recently.

“So soon?”

“Wedecided we would once the case was finished. Now it is,” Roy smiled, letting goof the folder. It flopped towards his desk, Riza remaining still as shecontinued to weight his request. Finally, she schooled her expression, tuckedthe folder under her arm, and a small smile appeared on her face.

“Pick meup at seven, sir.”

She turnedon her heel and left the room to head towards the Fuhrer’s office to hand in hisreport.

“It’s adate,” he called to her back, a goofy grin on his face.

Hecouldn’t help himself.

*          *          *

AlthoughRoy just knew Grumman had done thisfor their benefit – and it made him uncomfortable to say so – there were many happy people around headquarters theday the Fuhrer had announced the Big News. Apparently that law had restrictedmore than just them.

“It isn’tcompletely abolished,” Grumman stated quietly to Roy, afraid his secretarywould overhear in the other room while they played their weekly chess match.“There are clauses still in place to protect our officers, however it is nowpermitted in the workplace.” Grumman took Roy’s knight as he was distracted.“With a new Fuhrer comes a new age. Times are changing and have been for manyyears. It’s about time the military caught up with them.”

Royadjusted the cuff link on his right wrist, angling the flowers in the same handso they wouldn’t bump against the door of the lift and crush the petals. It dinged above him, signalling his arrivalon Riza’s floor.

Armed onlywith his ecstatic grin and bunch of flowers – pink and white carnations, whichwere her favourites – Roy knocked on her apartment door and waited.

It’s finally happening.

“Goodevening, Roy,” she greeted. There was a sharp intake of breath as he presentedhis gift with a flourish. “Oh, they are beautiful.”Riza motioned for him to enter, closing the door before wandering into herkitchen area to retrieve a vase and fill it with water. “You remembered,” shestated softly, a smile on her face that made Roy’s grin even wider.

“Of course,I did,” he replied, popping his hip and leaning it against the kitchen counternext to her sink. “You always brought them back from the Saturday market.”

“They weremy mother’s favourites –” she began, cut off by Roy before she could finish.

“And theyalways reminded you of her,” he grinned. The quiet laugh that filled the roomwas music to his ears.

“Yes. Byextension, they became my favourites too.”

Theylapsed into a comfortable silence as Roy watched her busy herself withpreparing her flowers. It was incredible to even witness a moment like this;never mind the actual date he had planned for the evening. If Roy could forgothe date, and just stay in her apartment all night while they did such normal,domestic, things, he would.

That wasall he had ever wanted, just to love Riza Hawkeye openly and freely withoutanyone trying to make his life miserable for it.

“So, whereare you taking us tonight?” Riza smiled, hooking her arm in his as theyapproached the lift.

“Somewherespecial,” he replied mysteriously, chuckling as Riza rolled her eyes, butdidn’t press him any further.

She lookedstunning in her midnight blue dress. It rose up her throat, covering hershoulders and neck, and stopped just above the knee, the skirt swishing as shewalked. Her short hair rustled in the summer breeze, her fringe blowing overher nose. Flicking her head to the side to remove it, she continued walking,oblivious to Roy staring at her with a lopsided grin. Well, oblivious was thewrong answer, that woman saw everything.More like ignored him.

“Can Ihelp you?” she asked dryly, not looking away from the path ahead of them. Therewas amusement in her tone, belaying any fears that he had offended her.

“Justadmiring a lovely lady.”

“Would youlike a picture instead,” she asked sweetly, finally turning her face to look athis.

Roychuckled, giving the hand atop his arm a squeeze. “That won’t be necessary. I’mjust still in awe that I can take you out on a date now. Well,” he added with asmirk. “A proper date.” He waggledhis eyebrows suggestively.

Rizablushed and Roy laughed at her reaction. The playful swat on his arm didn’tstop it either.

Theirevening stroll was cut short as they arrived in front of a very fancy lookingrestaurant on the main street in Central. Said street was packed full ofhigh-end shops, bars, cafes, and restaurants that cost more to shop and eat inthan most people would pay for their weekly shop.

But onlythe best for Riza.

Besides,they had a lot of time to make up for.

“This is…”Riza gazed up at the sign above the door in disbelief. “Very fancy,” shefinished lamely. Roy repeated his earlier sentiment about giving her the best,which resulted in a pointed look, before glancing worriedly up at the sign.

“Riza,relax,” he soothed, gripping her hand tightly and guiding her inside.

Highvaulted ceilings greeted them alongside the melodic sound of a harp beingplayed in the corner farthest from the entrance. A woman in a beautiful, floorlength golden dress plucked at the strings, soothing the patrons with her musicwhile they ate. Roy also noted there were three chandeliers hanging from above,the crystals catching the soft candlelight, the reflection of it barely visibleto the naked eye from this distance. Roy chuckled quietly at his own joke,thinking Riza could probably pick out the reflections easily.

A waitershowed them to their table, situated towards the back where it was quieter andmore private. Roy has specifically requested this when he called ahead, andwhen the manager found out one of Amestris’ top Generals was paying a visit tohis restaurant, the staff had practically fallen over their own feet toaccommodate him. Roy never liked using his rank like that, it felt dirty.Besides, he had more than enough money to burn on things like this, he didn’tneed free handouts from people trying to impress him.

And everypenny was worth it when he got to take Riza Hawkeye out on a date.

“Thisplace is incredible,” Riza whispered in awe once the waiter left them toretrieve a bottle of the house wine. Roy nodded in agreement, picking up themenu the waiter had left for them.

It was sofancy it didn’t even have prices next to each dish.

Roy wavedoff Riza’s concern, stating tonight was his treat.

“You canget the next one,” he offered.

Rizafrowned. “It will be nowhere near as fancy as this,” she griped, closing her menuwith a forceful snap.

“Itdoesn’t need to be,” Roy stated calmly, placing his menu down on the midnightblack tablecloth. “As long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter what we do.”

Rizascoffed, but there was no real anger behind it. Still, Roy felt the need totell her how he really felt. They had spent decades fighting it, hiding theirtrue feelings from each other, and Roy had promised himself that he wouldn’tany longer.

“Truly.Riza,” he stated, taking her hand in his. “I could spend a night in CentralLibrary with you, cataloguing and moving books and it would still bewonderful.” She blushed and Roy grinned. “Every day at work is a treat becauseI have you by my side.”

“Eventhough I irritate you by pushing you to complete your work on time?” she asked,amusement in her eyes.

Royflashed her a grin. “That’s the best part.”

They splitapart once the waiter returned and took their order, but their eyes neverstrayed too far from the other as they chatted and ate.

As thenight wound down Riza boldly slipped from her own chair to the one next toRoy’s. He didn’t comment, just eagerly accepted it as she begun to lean in andspeak lowly, unknowingly creating a more intimate atmosphere.

Slightlyinebriated by the wine and drunk on his love for the woman sitting so close tohim, Roy smiled, inching his head closer to hers. Riza’s breath caught and she madeno indication she was going to pull away. She simply waited for him to takecharge, like so many other aspects of their lives, and Roy thought – with dismay– that was not the way he wanted things to be.

Instead ofkissing her, he paused, hovering just above her lips, eyeing them hungrily.

“Roy?” shebreathed. The desire was clear in her strained tone.

“Yes?” heanswered innocently.

Silencehung between them. It was a delicious ache to be so close to her and not kissher like the need burning inside him demanded, but Roy held out. He had waitedthis long. He could wait a little longer.

Plus, hewasn’t in charge here. They both were.

Riza justneeded a gentle push and he would be more than willing to give it to her.

“Wh – What–?”

It trulywas adorable to hear her stutter this way, incapable of forming the sentencesshe wanted to. Roy smirked, moving his head so his nose brushed against hers,confirming that he definitely had anaffect on her when her breath hitched.

“Do youknow how long I’ve waited for a moment like this?” he murmured, his breathcaressing her deep, red lips. They parted in anticipation and Roy felt herbreath flit across his face. It was intoxicating. “For a night like this?”

His gazecaught hers, trapping Riza in place with his eyes. She swallowed, lips partingonce more, yet she made no move further.

Roy got adevilish idea.

He dippedhis head, moving towards her neck. Her dress had a high collar to hide her scarfrom the promised day, but the heat of his breath and his touch still seepedthrough the fabric. His lips trailed around her jaw to her ear, nuzzling it.Riza gasped and he smirked as he pressed his lips to her throat, kissing thevein pulsing in it gently.

“Do youknow how long I’ve waited for you?” he whispered.

That wasapparently enough for Riza. She grabbed him by the lapels of his suit jacket,their eyes meeting for the briefest second. Desire met desire, although his twinkledwith a hint of amusement. Riza tugged him closer, pressing her lips hardagainst his, whimpering as his tongue stroked her bottom lip.

“Do youwant to move this back to my place?” she asked, breathlessly, pulling awayabruptly.

Roygrinned.

“I’d followyou into hell, Riza. Lead the way.”

[serenawitchwriter]

The Super-Switch

(part 3)

being the most responsible member of the justice league was exhausting.

take today for instance, batman had thankfully stopped the potential catastrophe that was two insanely powerful individuals incapable of controlling their newly acquired powers charging into battle. superman and phantom switching places was hedging on disaster even now, because despite the quality of their character, they both were powerful enough to destroy the world, especially if a fight between them were to escalate too far.

batman, ever cautious has been putting counter measures for the possibility in place for years and honestly he was grateful that he wouldn’t have to use them yet. both heroes were be cooperative and despite some sharp barbs at each other and general frustration at the circumstance, they weren’t attacking each other.

however, that did not make the situation any easier. batman would always be thankful that things haven’t reached the worst case scenario but that didn’t change the fact that bad is bad.

they had returned to the space station and the secure training facility within it. they had started to lay the ground works of a plan and were meanwhile getting phantom and superman to adapt to their current bodies.

the plan was simple enough. the flash, wonder woman, hawk man, and hawk woman would be pursuing the ghost that had performed the switch. batman had already acquired a military stock of fenton technology so they were well armed and phantoms profile on the ghost was impressively detailed. though there was some humor to be found in the caps lettered “DON’T MAKE WISHES OR SAY THE WORDS I WANT OR I WISH IN HER PRESENCE OR AT ALL!” the warning was reiterated several times throughout the profile and clarified she’ll grant the wish even when you can’t see her.

phantom and superman were, for their part anxious about leaving the hunting to others. phantom especially holding a sense of responsibility because ghost hunting is his department. superman was insisting his own involvement because a slight sense of guilt over making the wish. batman and several other members of the league had backed phantom up and chastised the hero for his loose phrasing an use of the taboo phrase. phantom wasn’t the only hero with a rule against wishing.

batman had made it perfectly clear that until they could control each others powers they were liabilities. a point that was emphasized when superman, in Danny's body, began to slip intangibly through the floor

which was how they got this point. training their deadly and highly destructive powers.

“look you just gotta feel solid. like continuously be aware that you can touch stuff.”

“that’s what i’m doing.”

“no, i mean you gotta keep that awareness. like...” phantom scrunched superman’s eyebrows together as searched for the right words. “it’s kinda like breathing, you know? most of the time you aren’t aware of your breathing you just let your lungs do their own thing. intangibility is a ghosts natural instinct/state, so to be solid you have to actively think about being solid, like when you’re suddenly aware of you own breathing and have to work to do it.”

“how can you cautiously be aware that you’re solid all the time,” the phantom double growled sounding frustrated. he was once again slipping through the floor and superman pulled him back up by the elbow.

“well, i’m not, exactly. eventually the solid-intangible switch just became a sort of muscle memory thing. most of the time awareness of my solidness is just floating somewhere in the back or my mind, just always running. letting go of the awareness to become intangible is actually weird because like you have to like let go of that awareness. it kinda sucks, because I've gotten so used to being tangible that i sometimes completely forget to turn intangible when i actually need to. it’s kind of confusing.”

“i agree.” superman glaring tiredly up at his own face. it was fascinating to watch the differences in expressions. watching superman’s body act like an earnest but typical teenager was rather cute. phantom sarcasm and sharp smirks looking out of place dangerous on the normally kind or brooding face of the alien but he brought an energy and expressiveness that superman often lacked. he talked with his hands and showed off his small ticks. seeing ‘superman’ nervously rub the back of his neck and tilt his head to the side with a shy smile, was a memory that batman would keep tucked away amidst his fondest memories.

 meanwhile superman’s good posture and kind smile softened the ghosts image considerably. gone was the tricksters glint and in it’s place was a bright-eyed child. batman had never acknowledge how cynical phantom was in caparison to superman, but to see his face free of it was a startling revelation. phantom looked younger with superman controlling him. he moved with confidence and his neon green eyes sparkled with optimism. it was nice to see but carried with it slight disappointment that phantom himself couldn’t produce such a smile on his own.

“maybe it’s kind of like with your super strength?” phantom wondered. he was proving entirely more adaptive to superman's powers that superman was to his. he still proved to be clumsy when it came to the finer adjustments of strengths and applications, but he had mastered flying with the newly weighted body and powers like heat vision and psychokinesis were practically instinctive to him. the only real problem he had was focusing with superman’s enhanced hearing, providing a constant din and distraction. “like you have to be consciously aware of your movements and strength so you don’t accidentally destroy everything, right? well, treat it like that only instead of strength it’s how solid you are.”

“adjusting how lightly you touch something is completely different from being constantly aware of your own breathing.” superman griped irritably.

he was having a considerably harder time mastering phantom’s powers. they’d been working on tangibility on in off more the last couple hours because it was apparently the most important skill in terms of functioning normally. superman seemed to be slipping through the floor and dropping objects every other minute. and phantom almost seemed to be silently laughing even as he tried to help. it was quite clear that phantom had dealt with these problems in the past.

when they weren’t struggling with that, they were struggling with the other basic powers. like Danny, superman picked up flight rather easily. but manipulating ecto energy and all the powers that depended on drawing from his ghost core was escaping superman’s grasp. the way phantom described reaching for his core seemed rather meditative and simple to batman, but then again batman wasn’t the one with the powers so he wasn’t in the position to judge.

phantom refused to show superman his more powerful attacks, claiming, “if you can’t even make an ectoblast you wouldn’t be able to perform a ghostly wail. it’s not really something you can do accidentally. so as long as you don’t feel like your freezing to death you should be fine.”

it wasn’t the most comforting statement but batman preferred that they didn’t test those powers here anyway. there was no telling what a ghostly wail would do to the ship, especially because superman would have no control over it. they’d have to travel back to earth to do it and as late in the evening it was getting returning to earth that day for a non emergency seemed too exhausting.

speaking of which, “i think it’s about time for bed,” batman called to the heroes. phantom flinched and the sheepish look on ‘superman’s’ face, yet again, melted his cold black heart.

both were obviously exhausted so they didn’t argue about that, thou superman did mutter. “if i have to be thinking about solidness, what happens if i turn intangible in my sleep.”

“it’s easier not to go to bed tangible at all. just lie by the bed and float intangibly there. you’re less likely to move from there than if you turn intangible mid dream. if you do that i guarantee that you’ll fall through through the floor.”

“it was a rhetorical question.”

batman rubbed the bridge of his nose. this was going to be a long weekend

here’s hoping they’re back to normal tommorrow.

(part 1) (part 2)

[lalka-laski]

1 How often are you optimistic? I’m getting better at it. But my anxiety always has me leaning towards the worst case scenario.  2 Would you say your thoughts are generally rational and logical or irrational and illogical? See above about my anxiety^ Irrational is my middle name! But again, I’m getting better at it. I’ve done some intense personal work lately that helps me to challenge and reverse my negative thoughts.  3 Tell an interesting fact about your favorite country? I’m not so sure I have a favorite country 4 Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? My claddagh ring from my mom and my promise ring from Glenn. 5 Are you the type to pay attention to detail? I fixate on the unassuming & unimportant details. So I might overlook something super obvious but zero in on something small and unnecessary. Another feature of my anxiety, I think. 

6 To you, what is especially distracting? E v e r y t h i n g.  7 What are some things that are important in your life right now? As I said before, the personal development I’ve been doing lately has proved incredibly beneficial and I only see it improving my life more and more. Most of the techniques I’m utilizing are CBT methods & I can’t believe I’ve never used this type of therapy before.  8 When was the last time you did some major cleaning? A couple weeks ago. I’m pretty neat & I’m a “clean as I go” person, so I never have to do one big major clean-up. Except after a depressive episode.  9 Have you ever thrown anything away, and regretted it later? Countless things.  1o Are you the type to regret things, or live and learn? I never seem to learn from my mistakes 11 How often do you feel like you need time to yourself? Quite often.  12 Do you like being around other people? Why is this? Friends & certain family members, of course. But the general public? Hard pass.  13 Do you feel like anyone “gets” you? Who? I think I’m a pretty transparent person so honestly, most people probably get me.

14 What would you be most likely to do with a friend, today? Well, Glenn & I are gonna go on a nice nature trail walk and then get some ice cream!  15 When are you most likely to be crabby? Anytime I’m woken up abruptly. This happens most often between 11-12:30 every night when my upstairs neighbors for some reason go on a stampede. It happens like clockwork and nothing enrages me more. It’s taken everything in me not to go beating down there door but one of these days...  16 How about upbeat and cheerful? I’m most upbeat when I feel relieved and anxiety-free. So usually the aftermath of an anxiety-inducing situation, when I’m reached a resolution, I’m BEAMING. That’s when I feel the best.  17 Who challenges you the most? In what way? Glenn is a strong contender for that. He notices features of myself that I try to hide or avoid & forces them into the light. This is a great thing for my personal growth but it can get uncomfortable. I’ve actually told him before that I can understand why a lot of his past relationships didn’t work out. People don’t want to confront the negative parts of themselves. (To be clear: he also COMPLETELY celebrates my positive traits & brings them to the surface. My point is that he recognizes me and understands me fully: the good, the bad, & everything in between. There is no hiding from him).  18 Who seems to hold you back? In what way? Myself, absolutely. I get too wrapped up in my own head, my own fantasies, my own absurd expectations & delusions.  19 What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? All that comes to mind was my coworker asking me to go for a drink after work yesterday. Part of me wanted to go, but an even bigger part of me desperately wanted to go home & take a long shower. Which I did. & it was glorious.  2o Would you rather have a quiet day at home, or be on the go? If I’m on the go doing fun things then I’d choose that option right now. I’ve had PLENTY of quiet days at home these past few months.  21 Do you think you made a good impression on the last person you met? The last person I met was probably a patient & I’m gonna say “yes.” I’m very friendly & cordial at work... patients seem to like me. 22 How do you feel about people who neglect their pets? Don’t have a fucking pet if you won’t properly care for it. Simple. People who neglect their pets are scum. 23 Should there be an application process for having children? In a perfect world, yes. But there’s no moral or practical way to do that & you certainly can’t stop people from getting pregnant. 

24 Are you able to ask for help when you need it? I’m very good at that, actually. I know that life is a team effort & I rely on others for plenty of things.  25 How intense is your anger? Have you ever hurt anyone|yourself? I get irritable and crabby but I’d hardly ever describe myself as “angry.” And I’ve certainly never hurt myself or anyone else as a result of those feelings.  26 What is something red that you like to eat? Baby Bel Cheese. Well, the packaging is red. I have no idea why that’s the first food that came to mind? I couldn’t have said fucking strawberries or apples or something normal?  27 Do you ever have trouble getting lighters to work? Very often, especially now because I don’t have my acrylic nails.  28. If someone drinks, would that lower your opinion of that person? I’m a frequent drinker so uh, no. Definitely not.  29 What if they did drugs? It’s never ever my place to judge 3o Do you know anyone who is abusive? Are you abusive? Um...can we like, not...? 32 If your best friend wanted to cheat on his/her partner, you would say? It’s never the answer. I’d advise him/her to break up with their partner & let them down gently if they really were interested in seeing other people.  33 Who do you know that gives very sound advice? My friends, my sisters, Glenn. And my therapist but that kinda goes without saying. 

34 What do you think makes a person weak? Dishonesty, abusing power, refusal to admit wrongdoing, refusal to admit/discuss emotions, the list goes on.  35 What makes a person strong? For the sake of the argument I’m just gonna say the exact opposite of everything I listed above  37 Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? Sensitivity  38 Who do you go to when you need comfort? Glenn, my friends, my parents, the angels I pray to 39 Is there anyone|thing with whom|which you like to cuddle? Actually not at the moment. I mean I *should* say Glenn but I’m not in a very cuddly mood right now. I’m too energized! 4o Do nightmares still bother you? Occasionally. But I don’t have the traditional type of nightmares. No monsters or ghosts or near-death experiences. My bad dreams are manifestations of my biggest insecurities & anxieties.  41 At what age did you start to feel like a teen, and not a kid anymore? 15 or 16 maybe? I felt like a bit of a late bloomer as compared to my friends.  42 Are you or were you in a hurry to grow up? Never. I’m still not. 43 What is a fear you have about living on your own? As much as I love living with Glenn, I enjoyed living on my own so much. And my apartment complex is in a safe area so I never felt uncomfortable or scared being alone. It has good vibes to it.  44 Do you have any survey-maker recommendations? If yes, who? Ha, no. I get majority of my surveys from the same girl’s Tumblr but she’s not the one who makes them. 45 Who was the last person to completely fascinate you? The author of the workbook I’m currently reading/doing... does he count?

[djgblogger-blog]

What the Google gender 'manifesto' really says about Silicon Valley

http://bit.ly/2w6swIe

Oh the terrible irony. Photo by Mar Hicks

Five years ago, Silicon Valley was rocked by a wave of “brogrammer” bad behavior, when overfunded, highly entitled, mostly white and male startup founders did things that were juvenile, out of line and just plain stupid. Most of these activities – such as putting pornography into PowerPoint slides – revolved around the explicit or implied devaluation and harassment of women and the assumption that heterosexual men’s privilege could or should define the workplace. The recent “memo” scandal out of Google shows how far we have yet to go.

It may be that more established and successful companies don’t make job applicants deal with “bikini shots” and “gangbang interviews.” But even the tech giants foster an environment where heteronormativity and male privilege is so rampant that an engineer could feel comfortable writing and distributing a screed that effectively harassed all of his women co-workers en masse.

This is a pity, because tech companies say they want to change this culture. This summer, I gave a talk at Google UK about my work as a historian of technology and gender. I thought my talk might help change people’s minds about women in computing, and might even help women and nonbinary folks working at Google now. Still, the irony was strong: I was visiting a multibillion-dollar tech company to talk about how women are undervalued in tech, for free.

Facing common fears

I went to Google UK with significant trepidation. I was going to talk about the subject of my upcoming book, “Programmed Inequality,” about how women got pushed out of computing in the U.K. In the 1940s through the early 1960s, most British computer workers were women, but over the course of the ’60’s and ’70’s their numbers dropped as women were subjected to intentional structural discrimination designed to push them out of the field. That didn’t just hurt the women, either – it torpedoed the once-promising British computing industry.

In the worst-case scenario, I imagined my talk would end with a question-and-answer period in which I would be asked to face exactly the points the Google manifesto made. It’s happened before – and not just to me – so I have years of practice dealing with harsh critics and tough audiences, both in the classroom and outside of it.

As a result of that experience, I know how to handle situations like that. But it’s more than just disheartening to have my work misunderstood. I have felt firsthand the damage the phenomenon called “stereotype threat” can wreak on women: Being assumed to be inferior can make a person not only feel inferior, but actually subconsciously do things that confirm their own supposed lesser worth. For instance, women students do measurably worse on math exams after reading articles that suggest women are ill-suited to study math. (A related phenomenon, impostor syndrome, runs rampant through academia.)

A surprising reaction

As it happened, the audience was familiar with, and interested in, my work. I was impressed and delighted with the caliber and thoughtfulness of the questions I got. But one question stood out. It seemed like the perfect example of how the culture of the tech industry is so badly broken today that it destroys or significantly hinders much of its talent pool, inflicting stereotype threat on them in large numbers.

A Google engineer asked if I thought that women’s biological differences made them innately less likely to be good engineers. I replied in the negative, firmly stating that this kind of pseudoscientific evolutional psychology has been proven incorrect at every turn by history, and that biological determinism was a dangerous cudgel that had been used to deprive black people, women and many others of their civil rights – and even their lives – for centuries.

The engineer posing this question was a woman. She said she felt she was unusual because she thought she had less emotional intelligence and more intellectual intelligence than most other women, and those abilities let her do her job better. She wondered if most women were doomed to fail. She spoke with the uncertainty of someone who has been told repeatedly that “normal” women aren’t supposed to do what she does, or be who she is.

I tried to empathize with her, and to make my answer firm but not dismissive. This is how structural discrimination works: It seeps into all of us, and we are barely conscious of it. If we do not constantly guard ourselves against its insidious effects – if we do not have the tools to do so, the courage to speak out, and the ability to understand when it is explained to us – it can turn us into ever worse versions of ourselves. We can become the versions that the negative stereotypes expect. But the bigger problem is that it doesn’t end at the level of the individual.

A problem of structure

These misapprehensions bleed into every aspect of our institutions, which then in turn nurture and (often unwittingly) propagate them further. That was what happened when the Google manifesto emerged, and in the media frenzy that followed.

That the manifesto was taken as a potentially interesting or illustrative opinion says something not just about Silicon Valley, but about the political moment in which we find ourselves. The media is complicit too: Some media treated it as noteworthy only for its shock value. And others, rather than identifying the screed as an example of the writer’s misogyny, lack of historical understanding, and indeed – as some computer professionals have pointed out – lack of understanding of the field of engineering, handled the document as a think piece deserving consideration and discussion.

The many people who said openly and loudly that it was nothing of the sort are to be commended. But the fact that they had to waste time even addressing it shows how much damage casual, unreflective sexism and misogyny do to every aspect of our society and our economy.

The corporate response

Google, for its part, has now fired the writer, an expected move after the bad publicity he has helped rain down on the company. But Google has also – and in the very same week that I gave my talk there – refused to comply with a U.S. Department of Justice order to provide statistics on how it paid its women workers in comparison to men. The company claims that it might cost an estimated US$100,000 to compile that data, and complains that it’s too high a cost for their multibillion dollar corporation to bear.

The company will not expend a pittance – especially in relation to its earnings – to work to correct allegedly egregious gender-biased salary disparities. Is it any surprise that some of its employees – both men and women – view women’s contributions, and their very identities, as being somehow less inherently valuable or well suited to tech? Or that many more silently believe it, almost in spite of themselves?

People take cues from our institutions. Our governments, corporations, universities and news media shape our understandings and expectations of ourselves in ways we can only partially understand without intense and sustained self-reflection. For the U.K. in the 20th century, that collective, institutional self-awareness came far too late to save its tech sector. Let’s hope the U.S. in the 21st century learns something from that history. At a time when technology and governance are increasingly converging to define who we are as a nation, we are living through a perfect – if terrifying – teachable moment.

Marie Hicks has received past funding from Duke University and Illinois Institute of Technology.

[topromp]

  I still don’t know why most people don’t admit being on Tinder or having gone on a date with someone from there.  It’s where many people find success nowadays! If you’re single, and you’re looking for a partner, be it husband material or someone to spend some time with, there’s no better use of your free time than exploring the never-ending number of new people around you. In fact, this one app is completely changing the way we date.

But while some succeed, many don’t. You might get discouraged at first. Maybe you think it’s because of your looks. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s not.

In fact, my top 3 dates ever were with men you can’t call sexy or way too handsome. Rather, I gave them a chance because they initiated the conversation and kept it going. They weren’t afraid to ask for what they want and turned out to be incredibly interesting personalities. This resulted in making them charming in my eyes. And charm beats beauty.

Stop obsessing over the competition and check out the 6 reasons below to learn what leads to success on Tinder.

  1. More Time Equals More and Better Results.

If you want to reach your goals in life, you must invest time and be consistent in your practice. This is what you must do to be successful in online dating.

You can’t expect to find the hottest guy or girl in the city after 3 swipes or start to wonder if your standards aren’t high.

There’s the opposite scenario too. I know some people who think their dates should come to them and refuse to spend time (even if it’s 5 minutes) using a dating app. Well, no wonder they don’t find anyone anytime soon. Waiting won’t do. You need to be out there.

2. The Power of the Profile Picture.

Here are the two profiles that grab my attention (good or bad):

There’s the guy who has a low-quality picture. They put no thought into making it. It takes my brain less than a second to decide I’m pretty sure I don’t want to see the other photos.

Then, there’s that one guy (doesn’t happen often), whose picture is positive, unusual, or even makes me smile. I then stop swiping to check out his profile. These pictures rarely lie or disappoint. His or her description usually complements the image of the person. I then have the urge to speak with them and learn more about him.

That’s the power of a single picture. So make sure you do it right.

  3. Pretending to Be Someone Else Won’t Have a Lasting Effect.

There are some people on Tinder who seek attention and use anything but their real personality to get it. It’s usually a stupid method. Some Tinder users use babies or pets (even if they aren’t yours), to appear sweet or even a photo of them cooking, although they have never cooked in their life. But fake is desperate, and the ladies can feel that from afar.

Even if we are attracted in the beginning, after a few chats we’ll see the real you and it will have nothing to do with the man from the profile. So don’t waste your time. And if there’s anything in your profile that isn’t part of the real you but is just there to impress, remove it right away. It never works. Even if it does, it will be for a short time and will attract the wrong type of guys or girls.

  4. Constantly Optimize Your Approach.

Some things will work, others won’t. If you keep track of your progress, you’ll master the game and will match with the right people. But it’s important to keep your eyes open for tendencies. See how others react to what you say.

  5. Don’t Be Boring.

Boring is the opposite of sexy, even online. In fact, people can feel whether or not you’re boring from the profile itself. If they don’t, they’ll definitely see it during a conversation. That usually doesn’t lead to an actual meeting. Be yourself. Know your strengths, but be okay with your weaknesses too. Confidence is knowing your worth and not being afraid to aim higher. So do exactly that. Also, be direct. Ask unusual questions, not the standard ones that everyone’s expecting. Find common ground from at the start of your conversation. That will start the chat in a positive way. Talk with passion, tell stories, and show that you’re genuinely interested in learning more about their interests.

  6. Meet Sooner.

The only Tinder experiences I regret are the ones where we were chatted for more than a week, sometimes even longer. Meeting came up many times during communication, but neither one of us seriously popped the question. Eventually, we stopped keeping in touch, although we both knew there was hope. So, when you find someone interesting, meet them as soon as possible. The worst case is that you’ll understand you’re not a good fit for each other. You can even FaceTime with your date before meeting up.

  Over to you now…How can you level up your Tinder game?

The post 6 Reasons Some People Succeed On Tinder And Others Don’t (Regardless Of The Look!) appeared first on Top Romp.