#cranky watermelon

[zalizam516]

Hello can someone umm please perhaps draw this little guy from Boomerang fu? Thank yuo for you attention 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[fourmula1]

winter warmers day 6: playing in the snow

max/daniel. 343 words.

-

Daniel stands at the kitchen sink, coffee cup in hand, and despite the shiver in his bones he can’t help but smile.

It’s cold in Belgium. Daniel has never spent much winter time anywhere it gets cold; prefers home, or LA. He can’t bear the cold, but Max has spent Christmas with him at home in Perth for a long time now and it was about time they spent it in Europe.

Despite the cold, despite the many layers he wears even indoors, despite the hours of travel with a cranky child, it’s all been worth it for this.

Watching Joey, through the window, playing with his cousins in the snow. Bundled up in a snowsuit Sophie had bought just for their visit, a scarf, mittens, boots… rolling giant balls of snow with Leo and Luka and Haley. The beginnings of a snowman.

It’s really precious to him that his son gets to have this, too. Family around the world, love from all corners of the planet. He feels privileged to give this life to his child and really couldn’t ask for more.

“All good?” Max asks as he comes up through the kitchen to stand with Daniel.

“Perfect, yeah,” Daniel says, nodding his head toward the window and smiling as Max looks out.

The snowman’s head is almost ready and they both laugh at Luka – the biggest kid – struggling to lift it onto the body.

Max’s arms slide around him from behind, a snuggly hug and squeeze as he presses a kiss to the side of Daniel’s neck.

“Thank you for this,” he says quietly, squeezing Daniel again.

“I might freeze to death but it’ll have been worth it,” Daniel teases, leaning back into Max’s embrace. “Our kid deserves these experiences, too. But I say next year we fly them all home to us,” he laughs, fondly dreaming of Christmas by the pool, big slices of watermelon, and a patio barbecue.

“Deal,” Max agrees.

They fall into comfortable quiet, watching their son and his cousins, and the snow quietly falling around them.

[guess-my-next-obsession]

i miss the elementary updates sm 🫶🏽 ur writing means everything to me 💘

i’ve been missing them too!! here’s a lil something for ya 🤍:

The Show Of Appreciation

pairing: no outbreak!joel miller x f!reader (Elementary-verse)

rating: E (18+ only, oral sex (fem rec), fingering, dirty talk)

wc: 1.6k

series masterlist | joel masterlist

June 2010

“Baby, come quick!”

You were standing inside the kitchen, cutting up a watermelon into small chunks for your five and two year old children while Joel kept watch over them outside in the pool.

Dropping your knife as safely as you could manage with worry coursing through your veins, you ran outside, sure that you were going to have to rescue your drowning children, but instead finding your youngest, Miles, swimming across the shallow end to his father. Cracking a big grin, you crouched down by the edge of the pool behind where Joel waited in the water to watch Miles, his Star Wars themed floaties wrapped around his chubby little arms and a big toothy grin on his face.

“Good job, Milo,” Joel exclaimed, using a nickname the two of you had initially sworn off using, but that remained lodged into your daily vocabulary anyways.

“Those swimming lessons are paying off,” you added, adjusting yourself so that you were sitting down on the edge with your feet in the water. Iris, your five year old, came over from where she had been sitting beneath the shade, playing with her dolls. She stood behind you and draped her arms around your neck.

“Mama, where’s the watermelon?” she asked, trying her hardest not to whine. Joel lifted Miles out of the water and sat him on his shoulders, forcing the child into a giggle fit as he turned to face you.

“Yeah, mama,” he grinned. “Where’s the watermelon?”

“I was in the middle of cutting it when you scared me,” you answered, tilting your head at him sassily.

“I’m hungry,” Iris persisted, this time unable to hide her impatience.

You sighed and stood up, watching as Joel gave you an empathetic look as you walked inside with your daughter in tow to help you out. Iris held the big bowl of watermelon in both her arms while you carried three juice boxes and a beer for Joel in one arm and a bag of chips in the other. Joel and Miles we’re already sat at the patio table, dripping from the pool and eagerly awaiting the lunch you’d prepared for them.

“Gotta go grab the sandwiches,” you announced as you sat down the drinks and chips.

“Let me, baby,” Joel offered, standing up quicker than you could stop him. “Sit down, relax.”

“Mama, I can’t get my straw in,” Iris whined again, the sun clearly making her cranky. You gave Joel a knowing look before moving to help your child.

“Today’s not a relaxing kind of day for me, I guess,” you mumbled under your breath, hating that your exhaustion was ruining an otherwise lovely summer afternoon. Joel frowned and kissed the crown of your head as he passed behind you to go into the house to grab the sandwiches, leaving you to keep the kids occupied.

After finally getting Iris to eat her sandwich—she wasn’t happy that she was getting turkey instead of chicken—the kids were put down for the afternoon naps. You stood in the laundry room, moving the freshly washed load into the dryer so that you could wash the next batch, but before you could get started on it, two large, warm palms rested on your shoulders from behind you. You let out an exhale of relief as Joel started to knead at your tense muscles until you melted back against him.

“Time to relax,” his husked into the shell of your ear.

“Gotta do this load so Iris has her stuff washed for ballet tomorrow,” you mumbled, lazy and lost in the feeling of his hands on you.

“I’ll do it,” he promised as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “Go sit down, put a movie on. I’ll be right there.”

“Ba—“

“No,” he shook his head and used his hands on your shoulders to walk you out of the laundry room and into the living room. “Sit.”

“Yes, sir,” you smiled and took your usual seat, grabbing the throw blanket that laid over the back of the couch and unfolded it over your legs while Joel went back to the laundry.

You curled up on your side, flipping through channels until you saw that Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid was playing, and you were lucky enough to have caught it close to the start.

“You know me so well,” Joel smiled at you as he entered the room, finding his place on the couch, squeezing in behind you to hold you as you watched the movie.

“Paul Newman is so—“

“Dreamy, I know,” Joel chuckled against the shell of your ear, his palm flattening over the sliver of exposed skin between the hem of your tank top and waistline of your pajama shorts. “This movie’s gonna get you worked up.”

“You’re getting me worked up,” you corrected, smiling at the chills trickling down your arms from the simple contact of his skin on your hip.

“Am I?” he teased, kissing your neck before grazing his teeth against your earlobe. You hummed and nodded, closing your eyes to relish in his touch. “Good.”

Joel pressed himself into you, the thin material of his shorts doing little to contain the swelling of his girth as he continued to rock against you slowly. A shivered moan slipped from your lips as his palm slid up your front, underneath the cotton of your top until he was cupping the weight of your breast.

“These kids have been workin’ you into the ground, baby,” he husked, pressing his lips to your pulse. “I’ve been so busy at the office…not here enough.”

“S’alright—“

“No,” he shook his head and pinched your nipple, earning a gasped moan. “S’not. M’gonna handle the kids the rest of the week, baby. Gonna give you a break. God knows you deserve it. Such a good mama…such a good wife.”

“Joel,” you shivered as his hand slid down your stomach until it was slipping into your shorts and down to part your lower lips.

“You’re so wet, baby,” he drawled, low and needy as he circled your clit. “Have I been neglectin’ you?”

“A little,” you smirked, turning your head to look at him as he laid behind you.

“My apologies, Mrs. Miller,” he grinned, lowering his lips to hover over yours. “Don’t know what I’ve been thinkin’.”

“You wanna know what I’m thinking?” you asked and he nodded. “That I miss your tongue.”

Joel groaned and pressed his lips against yours, sinfully and slowly swiping his tongue against yours as he lowered his fingers to curl up into your cunt, swallowing your moan down greedily.

“You want me to lick this pretty pussy, baby?” he purred, fingers targeting that blinding spot inside you while the heel of his palm grinded against your clit. You nodded urgently, brows already furrowed as the knot in your stomach tightened and tightened. “Want me to drink you up? Lick you clean?”

“Fuck, yes,” you shivered.

Joel pressed his lips against your shoulder before shimmying down the sofa until he was sitting on the opposite end, situating himself between your open legs as you rolled onto your back. Grinning at you, he slid his hands up your bare legs until he was hooking his fingers into the band of your shorts, peeling them off you.

“Look at that.” Joel licked his lips as he spread your thighs open wide, his palms splayed out over your thighs, gripping the soft flesh there as his eyes admired the arousal gathered on your cunt. “Makin’ my mouth water, baby.”

“Taste me,” you begged breathlessly, the pounding in your core turning you impatient. Joel grinned and leaned down, locking his eyes with yours as he stuck out his tongue and just barely grazed it across your clit. Your body reacted instantly, jerking at the teasing contact. “Such a tease.”

“Feels better when I make you wait and you know it,” he countered, placing a kiss on your inner thigh.

You couldn’t help but admire your forty-three year old husband as he looked at you from between your thighs, his tongue slowly and softly working in circles against your clit. His hair was greying now, but he looked even better to you than he did when you met him ten years before. You briefly found yourself hoping he felt the same about you and your body after ten years and two kids.

“Pussy tastes so fuckin’ good, baby,” he praised in between deep, wide licks up your seam. Your mouth remained opened in a wide “O” as you watched him work you up, each stroke of his tongue bringing you nearer to the sweet relief you’d been craving since he first touched you. “Need my fingers to cum?”

“Wouldn’t hurt,” you panted back, brows stitched together and your fingers buried in his hair. Joel smiled as he slowly slid a finger inside of your heat before adding another, curled them up towards the roof of your cunt while his lips sucked on your clit. “Fuck, Joel,” you whined, letting your head fall back against the decorative pillow beneath your head. “I’m gonna cum—fuck.”

“That’s it,” he panted, catching his breath before returning to your clit.

The tension that had been building and building finally snapped under the synchronized strokes against your nerves from inside and out, your fingers gripping his hair to hold him against you as you rode out the waves of your high.

“There you go, baby,” he purred, moving his mouth from you but keeping his fingers inside of you, pumping them in and out just to watch you squirm and shake. When it all began to be too much, he pulled his fingers out of you and sucked them clean before coming to lay in top of you, his head on your chest. “How was that?”

“Relaxing.”

[blood-red-hummingbee]

EVERY NUMBER FOR JACKROSE

BRING IT BITCH >:D

THERE ARE A FEW MORE MATURE ONES IN THIS ONE SO JUST BE WARNED

Jack's is time spent together and acts of service, Rose is time spent, gift giving and physical touch (parallel play works amazingly for them)

Heheh, Rose gave Jack a hickey once and he got all blushy and red. She tends to be littered with love marks, easily hidden (she loves it :3)

Besides cuddling; cooking and training! It always turns into a race which ends with them collapsed on each other.

Rose. She's not super insecure about a lot, but her parents (though she doesn't like to acknowledge the existence of her paternal DNA contributor) had a... rough relationship to say the least. Jack's always quick to give hugs and kisses and soothe her worries.

In order, Rose (forehead kisses), Jack (hand kisses, though that's typically only when they're feeling silly), and both :3 (neck kisses)

I think it's quite obvious that Rose is the big spoon! /jkjk (it's Jack)

Jack would stand, Rose would find somewhere that doesn't count as a seat to perch or happily sit on Jack's lap

Rose. She's enamored with his hair, always twirling it, scratching his scalp/ears, and among her weirder habits, she loves the smell of it (When she can actually reach ofc) (side note, I actually loved to smell my mom's hair when I was a baby apparently, and I find dog smell quite comforting actually)

Rose. If those two are together she's in physical contact with him, whether it's straight up getting a piggyback ride, or interlocked pinkies

For Rose, compliments turn her to mush. So after she's gotten her fill of making Jack a blushy mess through touch, he gets her back with endearments

His arms. Whenever he wears something sleeveless her brain goes goopy (she's adopted the habit of biting him softly, and he started doing it back. They scared several of their friends the first time she nommed on his forearm and he got her wrist in retaliation). For Jack, it's her legs. Cater convinced everyone to try the Watermelon Challenge for his Magic Cam. She succeeded. (She noticed his sudden demeanor change when she's in her running shorts and has started finding excuses to wear them more often)

Rose's routine. She's not the best at keeping one, let alone a healthy one. It's been a bit of an uphill battle trying to get her to sleep at a normal time and drink water

When Rose is upset, Jack drapes himself over her, like a weighted blanket. It works every time (followed shortly by figuring out whatever she's cranky about and fixing it). When he's upset, she makes him yummy food from her home that she can't remember the name of. It works most of the time. She can usually get him to crack a smile when she jokes (not really, she's serious) about lighting his problems on fire and roasting marshmallows over them

Jack's the caretaker (as stated above... somewhere), and he's definitely better at it. She can manage though! It's easier to take care of someone or something else than herself

She steals his clothes. All. The. Time. He doesn't mind except for when he can't find a single of his sweaters and has to dig them out of her stash

They get along on most things but when they do disagree, they take a bit of space to calm down (in time they learned that keeping at it while their tempers clash only makes things worse). Once their calm, they come back with logical arguments and find a compromise if they can

Jack's... not the best at stating his feelings, often overcompensating and saying the opposite of what he means. Meanwhile, Rose has read and watched enough rom-coms tO DESPISE THE MISCOMMUNICATION TROPE AND OVERLOOK HIS WORDS FOR THE EMOTIONS BEHIND THEM.

Usually when Jack comes across a spider, he'll smush it, but Rose likes to escort them outside. If she misses with the cup or paper, she get as far away as she can and ask him to take care of it.

Rose is the intimacy initiater more often than not, though Jack is equally enthusiastic and gets more comfortable with starting it as their relationship goes on

She gets peeved pretty often about how early he wakes up. She understands why, but she gets fussy about his routine being so strict. On the other hand, Jack thinks it would behoove her to try to get more structure in her day to day.

Surprisingly, Jack said it first. Kinda. It was a sleepy mumble, and Rose took it in stride. When she said it the next morning, he went bright red and muttered it back.

I've actually written a drabble about this :D 'task failed successfully' if anyone's curious. Rose kissed him first.

No, not seriously. They use endearments sometimes (usually in Rose's other language, the one she can't remember the name of [spanish]) but their names are short enough to not need nicknames, and they both honestly suck at coming up with names

I'M GONNA DO THIS IN PARTS CUS THERE'S A HUNDRED AND I DON'T WANNA MAKE IT TOO LONG <3

[ricky-tiki-tah]

Ego Headcanons: The Cranky Crew

The Crank House is home to most of Ethan Nestor’s egos, The Cranky Crew.

Mad Mike(he/him): ally. Outgoing and good with kids. Older twin brother to Heapass. Constantly smells sweet. Uses his power to keep the Crank House supplied with ADHD meds. Surprisingly very responsible. - Powers: can conjure up both ice cream and any drug.

Heapass(he/him): aro gnc. Talks in third person. Friends with Yancy. The younger twin brother of Mike, later the unofficial younger brother of all the Cranks. Likes watching Mrs T’s animated stories. - Powers: always “knows a guy”.

Mrs Thompson(she/her): ally. Grandmother and parental figure to the Cranks. A part time novel writer. Fingers are always stained with typewriter ink. Enjoys sitting and having morning coffee with Father E - Powers: anything she writes becomes an animation.

Father Ethan(he/him): ally. Originally started as a religious figure, later morphing into a father figure. Is the Dad ego. Keeps the house running with Mrs T and is always willing to listen to the others. - Powers: a calming presence.

Blank(he/they): nonbinary aroace. Depressed anxious glitchy boy. Eyes drip black ink similar to how The Host’s drips blood. In a relationship with Eef. - Powers: can teleport through screens.

Postman(he/him): questioning ally. Is a mailman. Doesn’t live in Crank House. Knows many self defense techniques. Really only talks to Father E and Blank. - Powers: very fast/strong.

Neil Neilson(he/him): unlabeled. Rambles a lot. Runs a radio show. Not altogether there. Loves and shares an apartment with Athiel. - Powers: super jumps.

Unus Mori(he/they/any): agender aroace. Is the embodiment of Death aka The Grim Reaper. His shadow morphs between normal and the classic reaper with a scythe. A goofy guy but can be serious. Chaos besties with Leak. Not usually seen without Annus(QPR? Idk). - Powers: Death

Athiel(Xe/Xem): unlabeled. Alien cousin of Peevles. Loves and shares an apartment with Neil. - Powers: unknown.

Bernice(she/they): demigirl lesbian. “I’m just a California gurl”. Loves Alice. Gamer girl. Older sister of the Cranks. - Powers: none.

Alice Valentine(she/her): trans lesbian. Confident girly. Loves dancing. Loves Bernice. Is the older sister of Gothan. - Powers: entrancing voice.

Gothan(he/him): gnc gay. Younger sibling of Alice. In love with Elliot(e-boy from UA). Goth softy. - Powers: undetermined.

Melon Man(he/it): unlabled (no one knows). Feral lil guy. Rambles a lot. Always smells like watermelons. Follows Challenge McGee around to help and watch. - Powers: strong.

Gongoozler(it/it’s): agender aroace. A siren. Contrary to popular belief, it has legs. It enjoys spending time with Merthan in the pool. Can breath underwater. - Powers: glowing eyes and enchanting voice lure it’s victims.

Merthan(he/him): ace. A merman. Spends most of his time with Gooz. Has an aquarium like room in the house and many water tunnels. - Powers: can talk to sea life.

Maidgameplays(any pronouns): genderfluid pan. Nicknamed May. Takes care of the house. Makes good coffee. Always smells fresh. - Powers: cleans like Mary Poppins.

Security Eef(he/him): pan. Doesn’t need sleep. Runs security. In a relationship with Blank. Very jumpy. - Powers: technokinesis.

Challenge McGee-Allen(he/him): ally. Can and will turn anything into a challenge. Happy to have Mel join him in challenges. - Powers: indestructible.

Yale Nestor(they/them): nonbinary aroace. Y/N, the District Attorney in WKM since Ethan was the cameraman for nearly the entire thing. My OC(?). Friends with Heapass. - Powers: teleports through mirrors.

The Cranky Crew are open to questions :)

[thedepressedweasel]

Here are the theme songs for the characters in The Super Mario Bros. Movieverse:

Mario: "Sweet Victory" by David Glen Eisley

Luigi: "Gotta Be" by Des'ree

Princess Peach: "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera

Toad: "Motion" by Vandelux

Toadette: "Live It Up" by Kathryn Ostenberg

Becky Koopa: "Meadows of Heaven" by Nightwish

Yoshi: "Watermelon Wormhole" by Lane 8

Donkey Kong: "DK Rap" from Donkey Kong 64

Diddy Kong: "Holding On" by Y.V.E. 48

Cranky Kong: "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC

Dixie Kong: "Deeper Grounds" by Jan Blomqvist ft. Mahri

Rosalina: "A Sky Full of Stars" by Coldplay

Princess Daisy: "Kernkraft 400" by Zombie Nation

Carmine Koopa: "Claire du Lune" by Claude Debussy

Bowser: "Bowser's Fury" from Super Mario 3D World + Bowser's Fury

Kamek: "Love Comes Again" by Pascal Jr.

Koopa General: "Losing Self" by Jay Aliyev

Lt. Jasper "Eyepatch" Koopa: "Seven Miles" by Roudeep

Bowser Jr.: "Bad to the Bone" by George Thurgood

Wario: "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore

Waluigi: "Sexbomb" by Mousse T. ft. Tom Jones

Lumalee: "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day

Penguin King: "Snow" by Zach Bryan

Mayor Pauline: "One Up Girl" from Super Mario Odyssey

Ludwig von Koopa: "Ode To Joy" by Ludwig van Beethoven (Ironic, eh?)

Roy Koopa: "I Want You Bad" by The Offspring

Wendy O. Koopa: "Good Time Girl" by Sofi Tukker ft. Charlie Barker

Morton Koopa Jr.: "In the End" by Linkin Park

Iggy Koopa: "He Blinded Me with Science" by Melissa Lefton

Larry Koopa: "Aura" by Avoure

Lemmy Koopa: "Hello" by Karmin

(Note: I will add more if necessary.)

(Edit: I decided to add the Koopalings for now for some reason.)

[0dde11eth]

Vesemir is the Grumpiest kitten

Vesemir was having the strangest year of his long life. His pup geralt had not only managed to bind himself to a sorceress AND a Cintran princess, but also a member of the fairy Court.

The crashing of rocks in the background tell him that the sorceress and her pupil are hard at work, using their magic to help rebuild the northern tower. Echos of laughter drift down to vesemir. His pups are hard at work, helping put plaster in the cracks. Or at least they pretend to work hard when he's in eye sight. They still think that if they can't see him then he clearly can't tell what kind of mischief they are getting into.

Speaking of the little runaway viscount. "Hello bard."

"Good morning sir vesemir! And how are you this fine day? Ooh what are we harvesting today?"

"Watermelons, Lamberts cat brought me some seeds from his caravan last year, and I wanted to see how well they'd grow at this altitude."

Blue eyes peek over vesemirs shoulder, "I haven't seen a Watermelon in decades!" The young fae practically shouts in his excitement. "I can hardly wait, I swear between the treasures of your garden and cooking I've gained ten pounds, this last week alone!"

Vesemir chuckled at the bard, who was dressed in a shockingly bright green outfit, "true, you're beginning look like one of my watermelons"

A loud, dramatic gasp and a swat at his shoulder makes vesemir laugh even louder. "Nice try, but you're a kitten without any claws. All hissing and yowling and fluffing up trying to look scary"

"Rude!" Jaskier does indeed appear to fluff himself up as he draws in a deep breath to lecture the older wolf.

Before he can speak vesemir pats jaskiers head condescendingly. "I jest bard, a little kitten like you couldn't possibly eat an entire Watermelon. So we better save them all for the wolves. Help keep that figure trim."

Jaskier draws himself up glaring at the wolf. The teasing about his weight he can handle. Calling him a kitten? That's fine! But the audacity to not share the deliciousness of Watermelon?? This shall not stand!

"Let's see who's the kitten around here." Blue eyes become even bluer, glowing brightly as he gently taps the older Witcher on the nose with his forefinger.

"Bard what the hell are you doing!?" Vesemir roars in anger. Or at least he tries to. All that comes out is a series of tiny squeaks.

Long fingers come into view and vesemir swats them away, hissing furiously. The bards tinkling laughter fills the air and vesemir can feel himself being lifted by his scruff. Much to his annoyance, vesemir can't help how his body goes limp in response.

Jaskiers face appears in front of vesemirs own. "Oh you are the cutest thing! Yet you still look so grumpy, even as a kitten."

The bard brings vesemir closer and kisses his forehead, crooning under his breath. Vesemir growls at the affection, which just makes jaskier laugh more.

After a moment jaskier rearranges his grip, and as soon as he releases vesemirs scruff, vesemir takes advantage and attacks! With a wild yowl he scratches jaskiers cheek. A single drop of blood appears.

The fae heals it immediately, and huffs at at vesemir. "So rude! Well if you're not going to be good company, then I'll leave you be!

With that, jaskier places the cranky kitten on the ground, and decides to push his luck even further. "I look like a Watermelon do I? Well fine! A Watermelon I shall be!"

Another poof of magic fills the air, and in jaskiers place, a Watermelon sits. Rage fills vesemir at the faes antics and he scrambles around the plants and begins lecturing the fruit. bard. Whatever! He smacks the Watermelon without much success, considering how tiny his paws are. He can feel his fur fluffing up as his temper grows.

He's still yelling (mewing) at the bard to change them back, when the hungry pups wander into the garden, wanting to collect the pair for lunch.

To their surprise they see a cranky grey kitten, furiously growling and squeaking at a strange glowing Watermelon.

Lambert snorts. "Is that your bard?"

Eskels eyes widen, "is that... VESEMIR?"

Geralt simply sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose. Vesemir will be making him run the walls nonstop for months because he brought his ridiculous bard to kaer morhen.

[tommyshelby87]

How do each of the boys nurse a bad hangover? and who gets the worst hangover?

The worst hangover goes to Neil, he really cant handle his licor. He will wake up groaning, pouting and whimpering. He'll be like a sick schoolboy all day, nagging you for blankies, choccy milk and forehead kisses. Robert gets a terrible headache mostly, but he will be more cranky about the fact that he will feel like a failure for having a hangover then over the hangover itself. He will lay on the couch, grouching and grunting, refusing to take painkillers or do anything constructive about it. Its maddening. Robert: Hey. Writer: Its true, sush. Jonathan will do all the things he needs to. Have a healthy breakfast, brown bread with cheese, a glass of fresh orange juice and a big slice of watermelon. (This is actually really helpful, I did this once and it was my salvation, please do this for yourself if you can <3). Jackson bites through it but will be a bit more insufferable and mean than usual. He doesnt get a hangerover easily. Tommy would like to know what a hangover is.

[theloveinc]

caitie let me bug ur inbox rq 🥳 i can't stop thinking abt how ppl would assume deku would have a nice sweet baby and bkg having the opposite, but when they do have their kids it's the other way around and deku's baby is so mean to EVERYONE even tho they're literally a couple months old or smthing, just mean mugging ppl and not letting them touch or hold them except deku or you.. then they see how bkg's kid is so much nicer and sweeter and loves to socialize and walks/crawls up to ppl and smiles and lets them carry them and loves to laugh and everyone just thinks,, did the babies get switched at birth? 😭 but their kids look just like them so they know that isn't true but idkk i just think deku with a mean baby is so €}!*]€~ bc he's just like "haha idk where they got that from :D" or "wdym they're a sweet baby?" and the baby is just frowning at the person taking to their daddy 😭 anywho gnn~

AW :( Deku's baby isn't mean!!!!!! Just sensitive!!!!!!!!!! And colicky, and cranky b/c they need sleep, and picky, I mean... they just have preferences!! It's not their fault they love their parents more than anyone!!!! -Deku, at some point, probably smh...

No but it's funny because... EVEN BAKUGO thought he'd get the mean one and was so ready to like... provide discipline and therapy for his child for YEARS, only to not need it even remotely (at least, for his first, maybe)... and then there's Deku who, out of everything, never even dreamed of the possibility of having a mean baby... and there he is suddenly having to pull out all the stops just to get them to stop swatting at strangers and then later, hiding behind your legs at parties. Man is STRESSED as all hell.

("safe hands, baby. SAFE HANDS--" and he's grabbing their little fist at supersonic speed to stop it from going straight into Iida's glasses. Thank god he's not offended (because the babe can pack a real punch for someone no bigger than a watermelon)... even if for the first time in, almost ... EVER, Iida's looking back at Bakugo with some kind of genuine respect. Who, meanwhile, is just smirking proudly about it.)

asdnfjkasd even Bakugo's kid is a little wary of the Deku's baby... which Baku finds absolutely hilarious because it was kind, uncle Deku's 8-monther that was able to make his sturdy two year old cry just by refusing to be held (he was mad about it at the time though lmao because of course he was).

But Deku's kid never quite gets over the mean streak, don't you think? Has a good heart but is still just as grumpy and cranky, w/ a permanent frown, except now they can verbalize their excuse... just like their dad. "What do you mean, I'm mean? I'm just sensitive >:(" they say, because that's exactly what they've been hearing their whole life. And to be fair, it's true... just, very poorly expressed.

Bye.

-

Thank you for buggin me with this, anon!! I hope I did this lovely idea justice... I enjoyed it very much <3 sleep well + lovely dreams to you🥰

[miqotepotatoe]

Nothing's Ever Childish - Ninjago Secret Santa 2023

WC: 970

My Secret Santa for @sensei-twinkles. Enjoy your Watermelon Brothers fluff

Thank you @kokosnuss-jaguar, for hosting this event

Kai was not fond of patrols at all. He just personally found it a bit boring, going around the city, keeping an eye out for any suspicious activity or if any citizen needed help. When they manage to catch a crook in action, busting them is fun, but that's as rare as finding gold at the end of a rainbow as no one is dumb enough to do crime in broad daylight during a ninja patrol. 

Mix boring patrols with the cold winter temperatures and it's a recipe for a very cranky Red Ninja. Despite being the Master of Fire you'd think Kai would do well in the cold, but not even his unusually higher than average body temperature can keep him warm in the biting winter chill, and these ninja suits weren't made of materials that keep you warm. He may have to request Zane to make thermal ninja suits for the winter, and ask Jay if he could make some of his amazing hot chocolate when they return to the monastery.

As Kai was passing by a bunch of shops, he spotted a familiar figure in green staring through the windows of the toy shop. Parking his bike, the Red Ninja went to see why the Green Ninja was shirking his patrols to stare at toys. 

"Hey Green Bean, what're you looking at?"

Lloyd immediately jumped back in surprise and quickly turned around to face Kai, a guilty look on his face. 

"K-Kai! I'm not looking at anything!" 

Kai gave his little brother a small smile, a hand casually on his hip. 

"No need to lie to me, I could see you staring whimsically through the window. Anything catch your eye?" 

Lloyd glanced back to the toy shop window, at a giant teddy bear in the far back corner. It was huge, the biggest teddy bear Kai had ever seen. Everyone in the monastery could use it as a mattress and have a cuddle pile on it. 

"Nothing really. Besides, I'm too old for toys like this. I'll be heading back on patrol, see you back at the monastery." 

Lloyd quickly summoned his elemental dragon and flew off to his patrol zone. Kai lingered, looking at that goliath of a teddy bear. Ever since the Tomorrows Tea, Lloyd had put away anything and everything he owned that he considered childish, from his Starfarer comics, handmade action figures and even his old black hoodie that he painted a ribcage on in an attempt to mimic his father. The boy was forced to grow up, despite still being mentally a kid he put all his focus on training. Sure he never grew out of his love of sweets, but Lloyd deserved to be a kid. Besides, you're never too old for toys or plushies. Look at Jay and his model vehicles and Cole's collection of plushies that take up 70% of space on his bed. 

Lloyd was getting that goliath teddy bear, but he needed help. Pushing a button on his earpiece, he called up the best person to help with this.

"Hey Cole, I have a favor to ask of you."

***

Lloyd was exhausted. The past few days of trying to catch this thief who had been robbing bakeries was met with little success. Everytime Lloyd was close to catching them, they vanished. It was getting annoying. Right now he just wanted to collapse and fall asleep. 

He entered his room, but was met with a surprise on his bed. Looming over him was a giant teddy bear. No, the same giant teddy bear he spotted at the toy shop when on patrol the other day. But what was it doing here? 

There was a tag on the teddy, which was hard to read because the handwriting was basically scribbles. From what he could make out, it read "Enjoy your new friend." Hearing a mischievous chuckle, Lloyd turned around to see Kai, leaning by the door frame, a sly smile on his face. 

"So, how do you like your new cuddly friend, Green Bean?" 

"Kai!? You were behind this!?"

Lloyd gestured to the goliath on his bed, the Master of Fire nodding. 

"Yup, they don't call me the Master of Surprise for nothing." 

"But, how did you get it here without-"

"Without you noticing? I had someone distract you with little 'robberies' at bakeries while I bought this goliath and brought him here." 

Lloyd didn't know what to say. He appreciated the gift, but he was too old for stuff like giant teddy bears. The Green Ninja doesn't need childish distractions like this.

"Kai, I can't accept this. I'm-"

"Don't say you're too old for stuff like this. Who says you can't enjoy things that are seen as childish? Have you seen Jay's model vehicles that he made, or Cole's ever growing plush collection? It'd be hypocritical of us to enjoy things like this and say you can't do the same. You may be the all important Green Ninja, but you're still a kid, all of us are. So just accept this big guy as a gift from me. Besides, he may help calm you down from those nightmares you get." 

Kai was right, just because they're ninja who have an important duty to protect the world doesn't mean they can't enjoy things seen as childish. Maybe Lloyd had been too hard on himself after prematurely growing up. The blond ran to Kai, wrapping his arms around his older brother, a wordless thank you for the gift. 

"By the way, who'd you get to distract me with those 'bakery robberies?'"

"That's a secret I'll take to my grave."

Neither of them noticed Cole walking past, munching on a slice of Black Forest Gateau with a smile on his face, his reward for distracting the Green Ninja from Kai's plan.

[zalizam516]

I want to make a Boomerang fu sona

ANYWAYS LOOK AT HIM GO!!!

This is going to flop

[plum-plumgurly]

300 calories all day, Diet Dr Pepper, and strawberry watermelon vape.

I feel so in control. I feel good, alive, powerful, content. I don’t feel hungry, cranky, or tired. I feel like I could take over the fucking world.

I feel like I’ve done what I needed to do today successfully in all domains of my life. I was productive, organized, pleasant, and happy.

I know once I’m actually thinner and more used to the shifts I need to make, that this will be the norm more often. I need to remember that. I can’t lose sight of this. 8 days of really good restricting. Yesterday was fucking tough, but on the other side of it was today, where I’m killin it. I’m glad I held out and stayed strong.

Eating garbage doesn’t make me happy. Not eating does…

[ajwinter-is-a-nerd]

Biggest takeaway from the Miraculous Ladybug Movie?

MLB Team: people are starting to think that Marinette’s obsessive and stalking behaviour isn’t great.

MLB Team: I’ve got it! Victimize her more.

-

Me watching Miraculous Lady Bug: Are you serious, why would they do [so many things]?!

Also me: oh right. I’m an adult watching a kids show… brb I’m going to drink away my shame.

Teehee I did love the watermelon part.

-

Also, animation was fantastic and you could tell that this movie was a direct attempt to solve many of fans’ strifes through an alternate/parallel story. Don’t mind me, I’m just a cranky old person 😅

[mochiponadventures]

wanted to ask peach and orange to fit the theme of the blog, but the latter doesn't really work, so peach and watermelon

Peach: Describe a bad day they recently experienced(not neccessarily dramatic/tragic)and how they handled it. Did they break down? Did they withdraw?(Momo)

Everything started with Momo waking up with a painful sensation in his mouth which of course made him cranky. He could not understand where the pain came from and used his only coping strategy, crying profusely. After a thorough cuddling session with Juliana and quick check at the Pokemon Center(much to Momo´s dismay)he felt better after he got a cooling gel on his gums which obviously caused him the pain to begin with. That said, Momo was clingy and whiney all day long afterwards, not parting from Juliana´s side once.

Watermelon: What is something they have done that they feel the most guilt over? How do they handle this guilt? Does the guilt ever get resolved?(Momo)

Momo feels guilty about the death of Ogi´s former caretaker. He originally had no idea that Okidogi and Fezandipiti killed him in their battle over the masks they wanted to get for Momo in the first place. After finding out, he profusely apologized to Ogi. It made him understand why Ogi at the beginning had such a hatred towards him and tried to make amends. At first it was hard for Ogi to accept Momo´s apology but after some thinking she decided to forgive him since he didn´t really knew about it in the first place and since he had also lost his own caretakers, so it evened out in Ogi´s eyes.

-

Peach: Describe a bad day they recently experienced(not neccessarily dramatic/tragic)and how they handled it. Did they break down? Did they withdraw?(Ogi)

Ogi´s cudgel broke after a hard battle against a really strong pokemon. She was heartbroken afterwards and only lit up after they were able to repair the cudgel so that she could use it again. Ogi swore to herself to be even more careful with her beloved weapon from now on(when she is allowed to use it that is)

Watermelon: What is something they have done that they feel the most guilt over? How do they handle this guilt? Does the guilt ever get resolved?(Ogi)

She feels guilty about all the goods she took away from the townspeople back in the day, realizing how bad it was to do so. Whenever now she visits Kitakami she makes sure to always bring some gifts to the village people to make amends so to speak. Even though those she stole from are long gone by now(mostly, not everyone of course but a huge amount)it makes her feel better..

[wuxiaphoenix]

Cranky PSA: Children and Hardware Are Unmixy

I never thought I’d have to say this, but apparently some people really haven’t clued in. Hardware stores are not grocery stores. They are not child-safe. They’re barely adult-safe. Do not let your toddlers out of grabbing range.

Ace, Home Depot, Lowe’s, wherever - hardware stores are full of things that even adults have to treat with caution. Kids are ignorant. Kids that can’t read “Danger - Flammable” are in even more trouble.

Start with the hardware. These places are full of shiny things. Nuts, bolts, nails, magnets, bits of railing, you name it. Kids are like ravens, drawn to shiny; and young kids are further drawn to putting everything in their mouths. Picture the large, very large, section of nuts and bolts. Picture them vanishing down a kid’s gullet. It’s happened. Or, and more likely, picture them upending entire drawers to create the ultimate trip hazard. Very possibly yanking them down on their own heads.

Move to the cleaning supplies, many of which are meant for cleaning businesses, and so industrial-strength. As in strong enough and nasty enough stuff you don’t want to handle it without gloves, eye protection, and possibly hazmat clothes. Think muriatic acid. Think pool chlorine tabs. Think ammonia-based cleaners that all say “use with adequate ventilation” at the very least. Think.

Look outside to the plants. Many of them are toxic. Fertilizers can be toxic, or at least harmful to skin and eyes. Herbicides and pesticides are definitely toxic. And they’re all there on the shelves in easy grabbing range.

Let’s not even get into the paints, oils, kerosene, gasoline, and so many sharp objects throughout the entire building. All of which are packaged to be safe to handle... if you don’t drop it. Or puncture it. Or climb on it. Or sling it at someone. What do kids do? Right.

Last but not least, think about the business of the store itself. There is a lot of stock. Much of it is heavy items. All of it has to be stored, and then accessed when customers want it. Which means heavy equipment. Forklifts. Other lifts. Things where the users have to be strapped in, because it’s dangerous to have any part of your body outside. The whole store is outside, and while employees try to set up barriers, they try to keep customers out of hazard zones....

Well. You’ve never seen a toddler scuttle so fast as when they’re scampering right under a safety gate, heading straight for the big black-striped yellow machine with all the blinking lights that can squash them like a watermelon dropped from a hundred feet.

Fortunately she slowed down when I yelled. Fortunately, she listened to her father when he called her to come back out. Absent those two pieces of luck, she was heading right toward a lift that - if something went wrong - could have easily dropped something heavy enough to kill her. And the safety employee wouldn’t have seen her because he was watching for idiot adults trying to come through or around the gates into the working aisle. Not a pink blur at ground level.

These are hardware employees. They’re doing their best, but they’re busy, they’re overworked, and they are not trained to look after children.

If you take your kids into a hardware store, keeping them safe is your job. Think it through. Please.

[no-gorms]

If Omega Tony is pregnant by Super Soldier Alpha Steve then that is gonna be a big baby inside of a kinda small guy lol cute. like a stuffed cranky dumpling

(following up on this)

You laugh at Tony? You laugh at Tony's preggers watermelon belly??? Jail one thousand years!

(He's very cute. Steve is verklempt)