#eef

[alilgayblog]

ETHAN NESTOR

MaidGameplays at your service (2021)

[foxglovefaun]

new OCs new OCs

[someonesrealityshifting]

I miss my MAN

[ricky-tiki-tah]

[broshe-memes]

[trash-soup]

Me completing little tasks throughout the day

My best friends and partners cheering me on with love and affection

[fcheez]

ethan p4perback

[ju-draws-worms]

Someone asked about the "Queer tiger metaphor" on one of my old posts, and the floodgates have been opened, I fear (yapathon incoming) 🐅

Let's unpack Eef's counseling diary real quick (spoilers ahead):

This part of the book struck me harder than any other, and there are a myriad of reasons for that. We know from how Eef writes that he feels different from other people at North Point. There's something inside of him, something beautiful, angry, passionate, and not of North Point, a place that crushes otherness. He's got a big heart and feels deeply, something no doubtedly frowned upon by his male peers. He's afraid of becoming his abusive father, a concept that makes him even angrier-- and he doesn't know why. The tiger, that big, wild, scary, beautiful thing, is the only thing that makes him feel truly seen and understood. Its otherness is beautiful to him-- it's inalienable, not tethered to societal norms-- it's his passion, given room to grow, unabashed by fear of rejection. The fact that it's subsequently shot by the town's resident hypermasculine asshole cop is pretty a telling metaphor for this as well.

"But I feel like the tiger some days. Not ALL days, but some. And that's when I get mad."

Eef feels innately different from the others, a wild, strong, wonderful different-- and feels righteous rage over other people's discrimination against him for that. North Point and the people who live there spit on that strangeness, and stifle who he is. Even just holding the cigarette like a "fag" earns him harassment for being different, for feeling and thinking deeply.

As a lesbian, this broke my heart and deeply resonated with me. Being "other" and subsequently treated with disgust and disdain is rage-inducing-- it isn't fair. I think you could interpret what that "otherness" is in a variety of ways, but as a queer person, the interpretation of the cigarette being held wrong meaning something narratively is pretty important to me. Eef isn't just "angry"-- he's got a big heart, and he loves deeply-- loves his mom, loves his friends, loves Max.

Queer rage is important-- it's liberating, and integral for our survival. It makes sense to get mad when your passion, energy and true self are bashed by those around you-- I've certainly felt it! It's not just blind anger, it's righteous frustration when it comes to injustice.

Whether you decide to interpret his relationship with Max as platonic or romantic (both are valid, I feel), you can't deny Ephraim loves Max an awful lot. Max doesn't make him feel like the otherness inside him is a negative aspect of himself. He is the blue to his red, the calm to his storm, his closest friend, lifeline, and the only one who "gets" him-- likewise, the farther they get from each other, the more fear and anxiety Eef feels. Eef spends the book longing to be next to him, to hang out, to not worry about how he comes across to other people. Max, despite looking at him with that same love, only really seems to realize this when he's gone.

Later on, you could say that Shelley or the fear of the parasites instilled that sense of deep paranoia within him, but we all know his insecurity and fear are all from how he's been treated at North Point. He's been in fights about it, and doesn't know how to handle it. He's 14, for crying out loud.

Eef feels hard, laughs hard, and cares deeply. That's all that traumatized, half-aware Max can really say about him at the end, too.

"Eef was my best friend. You could count on Eef. He always stuck up for you. He had a really big heart."

🐅

[mathsbian]

I just announced the new Markiplier/Ethan video (playing REPO, turn on time stamps) by saying “with eefan” so I think that’s it from me for today 🤣

[naara-makes-stuff]

Finally got my Unus Annus tattoo 😭💕

[joshuaballsett]

exclusive first look at heefstopper usa coming soon

[alilgayblog]

ETHAN NESTOR

MaidGameplays at your service (2021)

[andaboop]

Congrats to Ethan for the W!!! CC2 was amazing and you fought like a champ!!

[miwachan2]

Eef eef meef meef

Eef eef meef eef meef

Eef eef meef eef

[ricky-tiki-tah]

Ok people, where’s all the wacky Unus Annus art??

I see a lot of serious pieces, and they’re all amazing, but where’s the art of Unus and Annus being complete goofballs???