#cows are not ugly but this is funny

[tmmyhug]

the minecraft cows getting a tiny snout is so funny to me because the old mobs are ugly in comparison to all the new mobs but the devs know that if they change classic mobs people will firebomb their houses so theyre testing out little differences to try and improve it without attracting the anger of thousands of internet users

[markodragic]

never ever stops being funny to me when yakuza npcs insist that kiryu has an ugly and/or scary-looking face when he objectively has like, the most beautiful big brown baby cow eyes I've ever seen

[mirrorball-leclerc]

track five - birds of a feather, we should stick together

series masterlist

SUMMER BREAK 2023

ines_alonso, charles_leclerc, and oscarpiastri posted new stories

what is genuinely wrong with this man?? why is she standing in the middle of the road?? to take a selfie?? surprise shawty!!

maxverstappen1 replied to your story

maxverstappen1 how much time do you have?? ines_alonso GO TO THERAPY!! maxverstappen1 i'll go when you do ines_alonso that's not fair. you have deeper trauma than me. maxverstappen1 bitch please

alex_albon replied to your story

alex_albon this is such a charles thing to do ines_alonso it was oscar actually alex_albon no freaking way oscar did that ines_alonso oh boy oscar has all of you fooled into thinking he's normal.

francesca.cgomes replied to your story

francesca.cgomes you wouldn't understand the need for perfect lighting, you're a man charles_leclerc in the middle of a road?? francesca.cgomes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do leclerc charles_leclerc you're right, i'm so sorry

logansargeant replied to your story

logansargeant mate, what is that picture of charles? oscarpiastri he pissed me off so i took a horrible picture of him logansargeant what the hell did he do to you? oscarpiastri he called my car ugly piece of metal, after i jokingly said i wouldn't be caught dead in a ferrari logansargeant i will never understand how your relationship works oscarpiastri charles and i like to squabble for shits and giggles. inés hates it.

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ines_alonso we're gonna have fun in sun ☀️🎶

tagged: alex_albon, lilymhe

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maxverstappen1 i was unaware we were doing a couples holiday?? where's my invite??

alex_albon lost in the post i guess ines_alonso this was 100% an accident maxverstappen1 traitors, both of you

lilymhe let's run away together and leave the boyfriends behind?

ines_alonso deal, when and where? alex_albon oh i bet [redacted] just let out an unholy screech ines_alonso can confirm that is what just happened. he is now pouting on the couch.

user01 are those, high school musical lyrics?

user02 how the fuck did you recognize that? it's the most generic ass caption. user01 i had a huge crush on vanessa hudgens, i still do, so i naturally watched hsm so many times. user03 THOSE ARE HSM LYRICS!! I WOULD RECOGNIZE THEM ANYWHERE!!

alex_albon i see we're not including the picture where [redacted] almost drowned you

fernandoalo_oficial sorry what? ines_alonso he's being dramatic. alex pushed me off the boat and [redacted] helped me up fernandoalo_oficial i know where you live alexander alex_albon you don't? fernandoalo_oficial that's what i want you to think alex_albon i'm actually scared now

charles_leclerc you look angry in that second picture

ines_alonso some girl was flirting with my boyfriend charles_leclerc understandable, have a good day user03 charles said, not my problem user04 well, if the rumors are true, then i want to know was someone flirting with oscar or charles?? user05 probably charles user03 put some respect on my man oscar ❤ liked by arthur_leclerc user04 arthur leclerc, head of the oscar piastri defense club

francesca.cgomes did you guys play mermaids??

ines_alonso you know it but someone (alex) was being a party pooper and didn't want to play logansargeant common alex albon L alex_albon uncalled for logan francesca.cgomes i would play mermaids with you inés ines_alonso marry me 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻💍

sebastianvettel it was nice seeing you inés!

ines_alonso please come back to the grid. we miss you. we need you. sebastianvettel i quite like retirement ines_alonso so did my dad and then he came back

patriciooward wow and no visit??

ines_alonso you literally told me, 'i don't want to see you' patriciooward lies. slander. dishonor on you! dishonor on your cow! ines_alonoso i'm telling rossi! patriciooward I'M TELLING ROSSI!

user06 inés being friends with a bunch of people in different careers will never not be funny to me.

user07 girl is out here collecting friends in different careers like infinity stones user06 it's more like pokémon no? there's only six infinity stones user07 see now that you say that pokémon makes more sense

user08 papaya orange and ferrari red nails?? she's dating charles and oscar confirmed.

user09 nurse, she's out again but also i aspire to be this delusional user08 you'll see that i was right when the confirm it themselves.

oscarpiastri why does it look like you were in four different countries already??

ines_alonso i was only in three oscar! just because your ass is a homebody and prefers to be in australia doesn't mean the rest of us do?? oscarpiastri i was literally in monaco?? bumped into charles and everything maxverstappen1 ahh the proper monaco experience, bumping into prince charles at least once charles_leclerc okay so fuck you max. maxverstappen1 name a time and place baby 😘 kellypiquet 🤨🤨 ines_alonso 🤨🤨 oscarpiastri 🤨🤨 arthur_leclerc 🤨🤨 alex_albon 🤨🤨 fernandoalo_oficial 🤨🤨 danielricciardo 🤨🤨 patriciooward 🤨🤨 f1 🤨🤨 logansargeant 🤨🤨 redbullracing 🤨🤨 lewishamilton 🤨🤨 lorenzotl 🤨🤨 jensonbutton 🤨🤨 scuderiaferrari 🤨🤨 pierregasly 🤨🤨 instagram 🤨🤨 puma 🤨🤨 maxverstappen1 man you guys know what i meant ines_alonso happy pride month i guess 🏳️‍🌈 alex_albon BE WHOOO YOOOOUUU ARRREEE!!! danielricciardo it's okay we support! ALLY!!! maxverstappen1 the three of you can go fuck yourselves

user10 max is never beating the gay allegations after this

user11 this plus the grindr thing, i fear the closet is made of glass user12 to be fair, max does nothing to help the allegations

3 HOURS LATER

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ines_alonso i wanna be your endgame 🩷

tagged: charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, taylorswift

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📍 ines_alonso the alternate caption was betty, james, and august if they got their heads out of their ass and dated each other but oscar said that would send people into a coma

user13 THAT'S WHAT WOULD SEND US INTO A COMA?? NOT EVERYTHING ELSE??

user14 girl, not you tagging taylor swift. (also was that for speak now (tv)?)

ines_alonso taylor has to know that i am committed to her and the agony her albums bring me, even when i'm in a relationship (yes it was. nothing better than crying to dear john)

logansargeant IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!! I WAS GOING TO LOSE IT IF YOU DIDN'T ANNOUNCE IT SOON!!

oscarpiastri you're being dramatic logansargeant i'm going to enter a secret relationship and force you to keep it a secret and see how long it takes for you to crack

user15 THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME IS WAS OSCAR AND CHARLES!!

user16 I TOLD YOU GUYS BUT NOOO YOU ALL CALLED ME CRAZY. I EXPECT AN APOLOGY WITH TEARS!! user15 NOT THE FUCKING TIME ANNIE!! user16 IT'S ALWAYS THE RIGHT TIME TO RUB IT IN EVERYONE'S FACES THAT I WAS RIGHT!!

pierregasly THE GROUP CHAT IS FREED FROM THE SHACKLES!!

charles_leclerc calm down calmar, no need to be so dramatic pierregasly DRAMATIC? I KEPT THIS SECRET FOR 2 YEARS CHARLES! 2 YEARS!

alex_albon oh thank god. i can breath again

ines_alonso you're exaggerating albono alex_albon i am not exaggerating, i couldn't handle keeping this a secret any longer.

taylorswift i think the alternate caption would've been much better 😉

ines_alonso holy shit- i died, dead, deceased. rip me. please marry my dad taylorswift tell him to show me the ring first 😂😂 ines_alonso oh my god fernandoalo_oficial you heard the lady!! fernandoalo_oficial please don't feed into her delusions. dumb and dumber do enough of that already charles_leclerc if the lady wants to play mermaids in the middle of the ocean, then we'll play mermaids fernando oscarpiastri yeah fernando, if she wants to play mermaids we'll play mermaids taylorswift oh this adorable

oscarpiastri have i told you that i love you lately?

charles_leclerc funny because this morning you called us 'pain in my ass' oscarpiastri no, i called you that because you set fernando's kitchen on fire again! ines_alonso i love you oscaroo!! charles_leclerc hey!! what about me?? ines_alonso love you charlie

user17 i don't know what's funnier the argument in the comments between oscar, charles, and inés or charles being a pyromaniac when it comes to fernando's kitchen

user18 charles should be banned from the kitchen oscarpiastri we have banned him but he still tries to cook charles_leclerc sebastian would never treat me like this danielricciardo no, he'd treat you worse. that man is controlling in the kitchen and you know it.

scuderiaferrari ❤️🩷🧡

louieee oh baby girl i'm so happy for you and your boys. so glad the three of you finally decided to do this.

ines_alonso thanks for helping max convince me to go on that date 🩷 louieee anything to see that beautiful smile back on your face 🩷

scuderiaferrari admin is definitely shocked and did not catch inés and oscar sneaking into charles' drivers room in australia...last year

mclaren admin over here is also shocked and did not catch charles and inés sneaking out of oscar's drivers room in miami this year... ines_alonso shout out to the best admins ever astonmartinf1 so guess who lied, like a liar ines_alonso no! i swear it's not what it looks like!! astonmartinf1 heart 💔 been 💔 broke 💔 so 💔 many 💔 times 💔

mclaren we call dibs for the next race weekend!!

scuderiaferrari um no 🤓☝️ you guys had her last weekend? astonmartinf1 um actually she's going to be in our garage look what happened last time she was with mclaren scuderiaferrari that was not our fault mclaren according to the footage it was redbullracing maybe she should be in our garage instead scuderiaferrari forget you man mclaren over our dead body astonmartinf1 that can be arranged 😃

patriciooward i would like everyone to know that i have known since the start!!

user19 and when was that pato? patricooward since 2021 user19 2021? I THOUGHT THESE BITCHES STARTED DATING IN 2022?? patriciooward i fear this is common knowledge? user19 TO WHO PATRICIO? TO FUCKING WHO?

user20 oh the mclaren and ferrari teddies. i could die, they're so adorable.

ines_alonso they gave them to me after oscar's mclaren announcement because and i quote, 'you need to have us with you at night when we're not here.' user20 oh that's so fucking cute ines_alonso this was also before they found out i would be working for sky sports

maxverstappen1 glad you're finally happy inés. you deserve happiness 🩷

ines_alonso we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you forcing me to go on that date 🩷 so thanks for that maxie!! charles_leclerc yes, thank you for that max oscarpiastri have i told you how much i like you? as a friend, that is. NO ONE START RUMORS!! maxverstappen1 as if i would ever date you oscarpiastri excuse you, i'm a fucking catch charles_leclerc not that you would ever need to know because that's my boyfriend not yours ines_alonso correction leclerc, *our boyfriend

liked by lewishamilton, sebastianvettel, pierregasly and others

charles_leclerc mon soleil et ma lune ❤️ [my sun and my moon]

tagged: ines_alonso, oscarpiastri, patriciooward

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oscarpiastri i see who the favorite in this relationship is..

charles_leclerc she doesn't scream at me when i set the kitchen on fire. you do. oscarpiastri IT WAS 3 IN THE MORNING CHARLES! charles_leclerc even during the day you yell at me! oscarpiastri i'm sorry i don't want our apartment to burn down

arthur_leclerc i want everyone to know that i have caught oscar several times wearing the sally shirt

oscarpiastri sometimes inés forces charles to wear the mater shirt so she gets to wear the lightning mcqueen shirt logansargeant it's true, i've seen it happen. ines_alonso i just want to say kachow!

sebastianvettel so you didn't hate them?

charles_leclerc we agreed to never talk about that again sebastian. ines_alonso no this sounds like a conversation we should be having oscarpiastri i agree, tell us everything sebastian. sebastianvettel oh you two should know what i'm talking about charles_leclerc STOP! PLEASE STOP!

user21 their conversations seem to be so fucking unhinged and i love that

user22 honestly the three of them are so fucking unhinged user21 they're so fucking iconic, i love this for them

patriciooward so that's a no on being your fourth?

oscarpiastri according to charles he will only "tolerate one man in obnoxious orange" patriciooward it's papaya? charles_leclerc it's a shade of orange patricio. patriciooward papaya is not orange charles. it's papaya. papaya is it's own thing.

user23 charles breaking his theme for those two? oh he in love love

user24 never thought i would live to see the day but i love it user23 charles has an emotional attachment to that theme, so this is a surprise

scuderiaferrari congratulations to the happy couple!

mclaren they're not married 💀 scuderiaferrari they could be and we wouldn't even know it. astonmartinf1 speak for yourselves, we would definitely know, fernando would never shut up about it.

user25 HIS SUN AND HIS MOON? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???

user26 THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANS?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME LECLERC?! user25 BESTIE THE TRANSLATION IS RIGHT THERE!! user26 MY FAT FINGERS CAN'T TOUCH THE TRANSLATION BUTTON!!

maxverstappen1 i know for a fact she's holding a red bull can in that photo

charles_leclerc i will NOT be posting red bull propaganda on my page georgerussell63 WHO THE FUCK TAUGHT YOU THAT WORD? oscapiastri i wonder who could've possible done that alex_albon why the fuck are you teaching him the word propaganda in the first place?! oscarpiastri all i said was that the hatred a specific family was spewing was propaganda against him and the word stuck maxverstappen1 sometimes having you around is good

carlossainz55 what the fuck? what the fuck is this?

charles_leclerc so that is who i forgot to block... maxverstappen1 YOU STILL FOLLOW HIM BUT YOU WON'T FOLLOW ME BACK? charles_leclerc YOU FUCKING CHEATED THAT'S WHY! maxverstappen1 HE CHEATED ON HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND! IF ANYONE IS THE CHEATER IT'S HIM! alex_albon CLOCK HIM MAX! louieee oh max emilian verstappen, you make me so fucking proud sometimes.

oscarpiastri this man is acting as if he didn't purposefully tell us to hard launch because he wanted to piss someone off

ines_alonso right, as if he wasn’t losing his shit earlier charles_leclerc is this what my life is now? you two roasting all the time? alex_albon mate, they do this to you in private all the time already logansargeant the group chat has seen some shit man fernandoalo_oficial she call you and oscar bald headed demons user27 yo, what the fuck goes on in their group chat?

liked by logansargeant, charles_leclerc, ines_alonso and others

oscarpiastri one of us has set fernando, jenson, sebastian, and lewis' kitchens on fire, but i won't tell you who🧡 hint: it's the one who gets offended when you call him french

tagged: ines_alonso, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc

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arthur_leclerc why am i always getting dragged into shit?

maxverstappen1 because dumb, dumber, and dumbest have two people each they always drag into shit alex_albon this shit isn't funny anymore. i've been suffering with max for ages it should be louie suffering not me. pierregasly free us! logansargeant you two try being in the junior categories with dumb and dumber as they fail to flirt fredrickvestiofficial never been so happy to not have an f1 seat louieee i think you mean, they have two drivers they drag into shit because i don't go through half the shit you guys do. just ask alex how much he suffers in my place ines_alonso honestly fuck you guys

aussiegrit congrats on going public, even if it took you months to tell me.

oscarpiastri it was over a year and a half actually. aussiegrit i take back my congratulations oscarpiastri sebastian wouldn't treat me like this aussiegrit disowned. sebastianvettel welcome to the family oscar aussiegrit go away, who invited you?

user27 not oscar choosing an old picture of him and inés to one up charles

user28 we were in the trenches hoping they would end up together since 2017 user27 real and now they're together with charles.

jensonbutton charles is no longer allowed back in my home

charles_leclerc i was just there 2 weeks ago? lewishamilton more like you're no longer allowed in our kitchens except for fernando's, burn that down if you wish. fernandoalo_oficial this is why you lost 2021 lewishamilton this is why i beat you in 2007 fernandoalo_oficial WE WERE EQUAL IN POINTS! lewishamilton I STILL GOT 2ND PLACE OVER YOU!!

user29 the chaos these three bring to the world of f1 is unmatched

user30 no cause what the fuck do you mean mark ended up with fernando and seb in another universe? user31 this is my favorite f1 inside joke ever

nicolepiastri is this why you said he was never allowed to cook in the house?

charles_leclerc HE TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T LIKE ANYONE IN YOUR KITCHEN?! oscarpiastri i'd like my family to live, thank you very much charles_leclerc you're a liar piastri nicolepiastri every time, every single time ines_alonso imagine what it's like living with them.

user32 all i see is barbie and her kens

ines_alonso I TOLD THEM I WAS BARBIE! alex_albon to be fair, they said you were racer barbie maxverstappen1 then you proceeded to argue over what racing series racer barbie would be in. pierregasly and you called them bald headed demons, again logansargeant all in our group chat while fernando and daniel squabbled over multi-21 for some reason user32 i think i just shit myself...

hattiepiastri the best part about oscar and charles is their girlfriend

ines_alonso best part about oscar is his sisters and mom 🩷 arthur_leclerc and for charles it's his brothers right? ines_alonso no, it's your mom?? arthur_leclerc mommy issues alonso over here fernandoalo_oficial i know where you live leclerc arthur_leclerc nevermind, i take it back. ines_alonso according to charlie i don't have mommy or daddy issues, i have family issues fernandoalo_oficial i know where he lives too. charles_leclerc she was being self-deprecating! YOU SAID THAT WAS ALLOWED! fernandoalo_oficial i will let it slide, this time.

nicolepiastri finally someone who can help you do your laundry

lorenzotl charles dyed all of their white laundry red. fernandoalo_oficial inés caught the washing machine on fire by not clearing out the lint compartment nicolepiastri god help them

user33 i want to know how often charles and inés are causing oscar headaches

oscarpiastri so often that i've lost count. user33 oh it's that bad? ines_alonso he's a bitchass liar is what he is. i've never caused him problems in my life. that is a lie. charles_leclerc i accidently cause problems. it's not on purpose. oscarpiastri inés nearly fell off the balcony trying to grab one of our cats and charles fell down three flights of stairs, more than 5 times already. user33 holy shit, someone get those two hazard pay or something.

lorenzotl maman wants to know if you three are coming over for dinner?

charles_leclerc this couldn't have been a text? lorenzotl oh i tried, someone (you) kept ignoring me so i came here. ines_alonso i would never do this to you lorenzo oscarpiastri i wouldn't either lorenzo charles_leclerc STOP FLIRTING WITH MY BROTHER! ines_alonso have you seen him?? oscarpiastri i do what i want

user34 with every comment i find out more and more about these three

user35 ines and oscar flirting with lorenzo makes so much sense though user36 i've seen enough, netflix get them their own series. forget dts

landonorris what the hell? is this a joke?

oscarpiastri my relationship is very much not a joke lando. despite what max says maxverstappen1 it was one fucking time oscar, let it fucking go. oscarpiastri no ❤️ logansargeant this is why people think max is a part of your relationship. jensonbutton he's not? oscarpiastri jenson i swear to god- user37 the world could not handle the combined powers of lestappen as a couple ❤ by charles_leclerc and maxverstappen1 ines_alonso WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LIKING THAT SHIT? maxverstappen1 drama.

ZANDVOORT 2023

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ines_alonso they're fine, charles is just dramatic.

tagged: charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri

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charles_leclerc i am not dramatic

oscarpiastri you lost it over a pair of socks 2 weeks ago. charles_leclerc they're my favorite socks! ines_alonso they look like all your other socks?? charles_leclerc i know which ones are my favorites, thank you very much. oscarpiastri you're so weird sometimes

maxverstappen1 who the fuck did you grab lunch with? cause that sure as hell isn't me or alex??

ines_alonso i have other friends?? alex_albon that's a funny joke. never joke again. maxverstappen1 you actually don't?? ines_alonso i do. alex_albon what are you cooking baby alonso?? ines_alonso cooking up a diabolical plan to get rid of the sf-23 charles_leclerc for legal reasons this is a joke ines_alonso no it isn't

mclaren please tell charles to not tweet a hate tweet about oscar. we need a break over here.

scuderiaferrari don't worry bestie, we got him on lockdown astonmartinf1 free my boy he ain't do nothing wrong

user38 gay (affectionate)

user39 so true bestie, but this doesn't explain the way charles looks at max?? ines_alonso please don't bring it up. it's a sore subject. maxverstappen1 you're just salty because your man likes me more than you oscarpiastri i am not above throttling a dutch fucker verstappen user40 oscar piastri, i'm sorry, i was not aware of your game

user41 OSCAR PIASTRI CALLED MAX A DUTCH FUCKER??

user42 this man is so chaotic. it's always the quiet ones... user43 he's so unhinged. i love him

landonorris wait, so this wasn't a joke??

alex_albon and the award for never being able to read the room goes too... landonorris CARLOS SAID IT WAS A JOKE?? charles_leclerc do you want to see me shove my tongue down oscar's throat?? will you believe it then?? louieee carlos also said he would never cheat on isa and yet here we are?? landonorris who the fuck invited you?? louieee myself, you winless bitch fernandoalo_oficial as the children say, GAGGED HIM!!

user44 the year is 2054 and people are looking back at how f1 world champions charles leclerc and oscar piastri (it's going to happen, trust me) threatened to shove their tongues down each other's throat...

user45 OKAY!! charles threatened to shove HIS tongue down oscar's throat. not oscar. user44 same difference

MONZA 2023

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ines_alonso no one tells you how hard being a double wag is

tagged: charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri

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lilymhe just be my wag? you never have to struggle with rosso corsa and papaya ever again.

ines_alonso you're so right oscarpiastri back 🤺 off charles_leclerc i am not gods strongest soldier

user45 girl are you forgetting the aston martin of it all??

user46 aston martin daughter, red bull/williams bestie, ferrari/mclaren girlfriend. inés pick a struggle user47 i wish i had that struggle

charles_leclerc how dare you wear his number but not mine?? dishonorable!

georgerussell63 yeah inés, how could you? where is your honor? alex_albon and no mention of her father?? who won monza in 2010?? no honor! maxverstappen1 how could you do this inés?? danielricciardo people these days have no honor ines_alonso oh shut up, you people are dramatic.

patriciooward maybe you should just come to an indycar race. no struggles there.

charles_leclerc she is one comment away from dumping us. please stop patricio. oscarpiastri they only papaya she'll wear is in support of mclaren not arrow mclaren. ines_alonso it's truly a shame the indy 500 falls on the weekend of the monaco grand prix patriciooward a shame really

user48 i think inés and pato live for terrorizing charles and oscar.

user49 the only man charles and oscar seem to be insecure about is patricio o'ward. and honestly, i get it. louieee right?! where do i find a man like that?? user48 louie is the realest person in these comments honestly.

francesca.cgomes ditch the men and become my wag instead.

ines_alonso done. when do i start? oscarpiastri charles might actually get a heart attack if you keep joking about this arthur_leclerc no one ever died of a heart attack charles_leclerc are you serious right now?

user50 i live for the domestics in the comments between oscar, charles, and inés

user51 truly the highlight of my week when they do that

pierregasly i would appreciate it if you would stop flirting with my girlfriend?? she should only be giggling and kicking her feet over me.

ines_alsonso it's not my fault i'm a better flirter than you?? francesca.cgomes she just gets me charles_leclerc gonna go jump off a bridge brb (jokes) user52 had to clarify before pr got on his ass and the sainz family threw a party

user53 no one tells you how hard it is being a double wag because it's never been done before

user54 she may no longer be on the paddock as a driver but she will slay regardless user55 ones thing about inés alonso is that she will ALWAYS slay!!!

¡taglist!

@minmira95 // @lesliiieeeee // @vroomvroommuppett // @prongsvault // @justtprachisblog // @scuderiadevils // @cataf1 // @chezmardybum // @formulaal // @lilsiz // @norstappenvibes // @ironspdy // @nikfigueiredo @hinamesgigantica // @niniluvsainz // @matchaverse // @fakeikeastore // @theseus-jpg // @six-call // @81folklore // @emppusofi // @luvsforme // @nichmeddar // @loloekie // @luvpedro // @donttouchthegnote // @nothaqks // @inferiusreggie // @mochimommy2002 // @rach3164 // @clove08 // @clove0 // @lillysbigwilly // @jenxjar // @blupblupfish // @thereadinggremlin05 // @meowiarty // @magical-spit // @camdensreg // @laneyspaulding19 // @ocyeanicc // @yelenasloverrrrr // @percervall // @blushmimi // @spilled-coffee-cup // @michelleyw81 // @greantii // @ietss // @yeanoskrrt //

¡not taggable!

@ashlovestoread1411 // @books-thingys-andstuff // @nothanqks // @ale-522 // @aandreea_2005 // @Katness1 // @mgmoore // @Scott-McCall-could-lift-mjolnir // @xxx-betty // @ririyulife // @landonorizzz // @moldyshorts1997 // @itstimeforutogo // @yar16 // @em-andemm // @killjoycra // @◇Heart- Trees◇ //

¡leclerc-s speaks!

charles leclerc is a menace, pass it on. i live for charles being a disaster in the kitchen for this fic. it's the funniest running joke in this fic. what me adding side plots for funsies??? why i would never…(i couldn’t help myself) (this also came out way later than i planned)

¡disclaimer!

this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[haru-dipthong]

Ep 8 of my Utena fansub is out!

生意気でブサイクで男女の天上をめっためたに打倒して

“I’ll rip apart that annoying ugly dyke

男女 is a hard word to translate. It’s basically a slur - the word is made up of the kanji for “man” and then the kanji for “woman” (so, “manwoman”). I’ve seen “shemale” used as a translation but the transness of that word is a bit strong. I’ve also seen “tomboy” but that’s not a slur, it’s barely even an insult (and it’s not trans-y enough). Anya suggested to use “dyke” if I was comfortable with it, and I am. I think it’s perfect honestly.

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私のお兄様があんた達にちょっかいを出すはずないでしょ？

My big brother would never be so interested in you.

ちょっかいを出す has two meanings according to the Japanese dictionary weblio.jp. 1. to interfere with in a negative way by doing something that really shouldn’t be done. 2. to hit on a woman.

Obviously both meanings are important here. Nanami is obsessed with being the only girl her brother thinks about, and Touga is sexually interested in Utena and politically interested in marrying Anthy. I see this line as intentionally ambiguous, maybe even a bit of a freudian slip. I think I captured that ambiguity with “interested in you” - it could mean sexually/romantically interested, or it could mean interested in the sense of just like, living in someone’s head rent free like Anthy and Utena do in Nanami’s head.

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辛さ爆発木っ端みじん、幻のゾウが「パオーン」、超辛九千億倍カレー

“Spice So Extreme You’ll be Blown to Smithereens and Hallucinate a Horde of Trumpeting Elephants: 900 Billion x Curry.”

I HAVE A FEW THINGS TO SAY about this extremely stupid joke line.

Thing number 1: the way she says 「幻のゾウがパオーン」 in such a sad, sad voice made me cackle the first time I heard it. I’m not funny enough to translate the joke properly but suffice it to say, she’s essentially saying “ghost cows go moo” (but for elephants) in the saddest most apologetic tone possible and it kills me. In English elephants don’t really have a childish onomatopoeic noise word like “moo” so I had to settle for “trumpeting”.

I think the 幻のゾウがパオーン line is a really interesting example of coherent Japanese grammar. Like, if we translate the whole line literally, look at how weird it sounds:

Explode into smithereens, illusory elephants go “paōōōn” level spice: Extreme spice 900 Billion x Curry.

Like, the elephant part is literally just describing what noise an “illusory elephant” makes. Under English language rules, this is a non-sequitur, but in Japanese it makes sense and fits into the sentence because the implication that the spice makes the “illusory elephants” appear is enough. You don’t need to say the spice makes it appear!

Thing number 2: This is the only time in the episode we hear the full name of the 900 Billion x curry, and it’s important as a translator that I lay the groundwork for the interpretation that the elephants the girls encounter for the rest of the episode are hallucinations. I actually find it really weird that no other translation calls the elephants “hallucinations” or the spice “hallucinogenic”, because that’s the translation that makes the most sense for 幻 within this context IMO. 幻 can be translated as “illusion”, “phantom”, “vision”, and it essentially means “something you’re seeing that isn’t actually there”. Let’s look at some other translations:

So hot it will blast you to smithereens and make phantom elephants trumpet loudly (from ohtori.nu)

So spicy it’ll blow you to smithereens! Secret Pa-Ohn ultra spicy nine billion-fold curry. ←????????!!! (from internet archive video encoded subs)

and then a later line where they’re talking about the spice itself:

By the way, have you heard of the Phantom 900 Billion X spice? (from ohtori.nu)

By the way, do you know about the nine billion-fold secret spice? (from internet archive video encoded subs)

Like… what? The spice is clearly meant to be hallucinogenic. And don’t get me started on the internet archive video subs! Just totally opting out of translating it completely and going with “secret”! So boring and such a cop out. My only guess as to why these have been done like this is an attempt at censorship? Cause hallucinations = drugs? Well, I’m not pulling punches on my translation! I’m writing them the way I interpret the Japanese - if that includes swearing, sexual references, or drugs, so be it. The goal is to make the most authentic translation, not one that will actually be marketable to TV or streaming networks.

Speaking of…

This is the most egregious translation from the ohtori.nu scripts yet. They translated 色ボケ (a person, often an immature man/boy, obsessed with sex; vulgar, insult) as, get this, "Casanova".

Does this look like a man who has just been called "casanova" by his crush?

"Fuckboy" was my first pick but I would also have accepted "wanker", "jerkoff", "sleezebag", "douchebag", "fuckwit", "coomer" or simply "cunt".

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Thanks again to @dontbe-lasanya for your fantastic editing as always, but especially for helping with "dyke" this episode!

Be sure to follow for updates! For all episodes released so far, go here:

[dreamingstraykids]

(I'm writing through a translator so my English is bad. Sorry) can I ask lee seungmin ler 4 members?(In your opinion, but I want there to be two older ones). Seungmin had a bad period when they started writing to him that his smile was ugly. And he started hiding it. The participants wanted to prove that she was a cow.

OPERATION SMILE ATTACK: THE TICKLISH TAKEOVER

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

This is a Tickle Fic. If u are uncomfortable, keep scrolling

t/w: Seungmin was pinned and tickled

Lee!: Seungmin 🐶

Lers! : Hyung Line (Bang Chan 🐺, Lee know 🐰, Changbin 🐰🐷, Hyunjin 🥟)

thanks for the request 🫶🏻 I hope u like it.

Note: Seungmin, ur smile is a Masterpiece. 🥹😍

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

t had been weeks since Seungmin started hiding his smile. The once confident, cheeky glint in his eyes seemed dimmer, and every time a joke or funny moment occurred, he would chuckle quietly behind his hand or turn his head away. It didn’t take long for his members to notice the shift. They know something is wrong.

Bang Chan had noticed it first, and soon, the others began picking up on it too. Seungmin's radiant, carefree smile had disappeared.

One night, after practice, the group gathered in the dorm's living room to discuss it.

"Seungmin's been off lately," Chan said, his brow furrowed. "He's not smiling like he used to."

"I've noticed," Lee Know added, crossing his arms. "Even when we tease him, he holds back."

Hyunjin sighed dramatically. "It's like he's afraid to show his teeth. What's going on?"

Changbin leaned forward, a determined look on his face. "I think we all know why. Those comments online... they were cruel. He probably saw them."

Everyone fell silent, their hearts heavy with anger and sadness. They hated how words from strangers could hurt their precious Seungmin so deeply.

"We need to remind him," Hyunjin finally said.

"Remind him of what?" Chan asked.

"How much we love his smile," Lee Know said, a mischievous smirk forming. "And I know just the way to do it."

————————————————————————————

The perfect opportunity came a few days later.

Seungmin was sprawled out on the couch, scrolling through his phone, completely unaware of the four conspirators gathering around him.

"Seungmin-ah," Chan called, crouching down in front of him.

Seungmin looked up, suspicious. "What?"

"You've been too quiet lately," Changbin said, sitting on the armrest.

"Way too quiet," Hyunjin added, perching on the other side of the couch.

Seungmin's eyes darted between them nervously. "What are you guys doing?"

Lee Know smirked, cracking his knuckles dramatically. "Just reminding you how much we love that smile of yours."

Before Seungmin could react, Lee Know lunged, his fingers wiggling against Seungmin's sides.

"HYUNG! NO! NO, NO, NO-AAHHHH!"

Seungmin's high-pitched scream turned into uncontrollable laughter as he thrashed on the couch.

"There it is!" Lee Know exclaimed, his hands mercilessly kneading Seungmin's ribs. "That's the sound we've been missing!"

"STOOPPPP! I'M GONNA DIEEEE!" Seungmin howled, his laughter echoing through the dorm.

"Nope! Not until we see that big, bright smile!" Changbin declared, diving in to tickle Seungmin's stomach.

"CHANGBIN HYUNG, PLEASE! АНАНАНАНАА!

I CAN'T!" Seungmin's legs kicked wildly as he tried to squirm away.

"Oh no, you're not escaping!" Hyunjin teased, grabbing Seungmin's legs and attacking his knees. "We're just getting started!"

"ААААНННННН! HYUNJINNNN! YOU

TRAITOR!" Seungmin screamed, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

Bang Chan, watching the chaos unfold, chuckled before joining in. He grabbed Seungmin's arms, holding him in place as Lee Know switched to tickling under his arms.

"NOO000000! HAHAHA! NOT THERE! NOT THEREEEE!" Seungmin's voice cracked as his laughter reached new heights.

“NO, HYUNG! PLEASE! I CAN’T—AHAHAHAHA!” Seungmin’s pleas were cut off as Chan joining Lee know am and tickled his underarms, sending him into a whole new level of hysterics.

"Your laugh is so cute, Seungmin-ah," Chan said, grinning down at him. "How could you ever hide this from us?"

Changbin, laughing at the chaos, grabbed Seungmin’s legs and tickled the backs of his knees.

"I HATE YOU ALLLLLL! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"No, you don't," Lee Know teased, tickling his sides even harder. "You love us, just like we love your smile!"

Seungmin saw Hyunjin settling down near his legs, a mischievous grin lighting up his face. The others were already overwhelming him, and he was struggling to keep up with the relentless attack on his sides and stomach.

"HYUNJIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Seungmin screamed, his voice going up an octave as he tried to wriggle away.

"Oh, don't mind me," Hyunjin said casually, grabbing one of Seungmin's ankles and holding it firmly. "Just adding a little... extra fun!"

"NO, HYUNJIN, DON'T YOU DARE!

Hyunjin take off socks and start skittering his fingers across the sole of his feet, and that was it.

"АААААННННН! NOOOOO! NOT MY FEET!

АНАНАНАНА!" Seungmin exploded into laughter, his body twisting and flailing like a fish out of water.

"Oh, this is gold!" Hyunjin cackled, focusing on the arch of Seungmin's feet. His fingers danced up and down, hitting every sensitive spot with precision.

"HYUNJIN! STOP! STOOOPPPP!АНАНАНАНА!"

"Your feet are ridiculously ticklish, Seungmin-ah," Hyunjin teased, dragging his nails lightly across the pads of Seungmin's toes.

"NO000000! HYUNJIN, PLEASE! NO MORE! AHAHAHAHA!" Seungmin's voice cracked as Hyunjin repeated his attack, this time focusing on the ball of his feet and the space between his toes.

Meanwhile, Lee Know took advantage of the distraction to tickle Seungmin's sides even harder, and Changbin was relentless on his stomach. Bang Chan still held Seungmin's arms above his head, giving occasional pokes to his underarms to keep the chaos going.

"OKAY, OKAY! I'M SORRY! I'LL SMILE! JUST STOOOOOPPPP!" Seungmin's face was bright red, his cheeks aching from the laughter.

Finally, the tickling subsided, and the members pulled back, laughing themselves at the sight of Seungmin sprawled out, panting and giggling uncontrollably.

"There it is," Lee Know said softly, pausing for a moment. "That smile. It's beautiful, Seungmin-ah."

Seungmin's laughter slowed as he looked at his members, their faces full of love and affection.

"You really mean that?" he asked, his voice small.

"Of course we do," Chan said, pulling him into a hug. "Your smile lights up the room, Seungmin. Don't let anyone take that away from you."

————————————————————————————

After the tickling session, the members made sure to shower Seungmin with affection. Lee Know fetched a blanket and draped it over Seungmin, while Chan handed him a glass of water.

"You okay, puppy?" Changbin asked softly, sitting beside him and ruffling his hair.

"Y-Yeah," Seungmin managed between breaths, his voice hoarse from laughing. "You guys are insane.

Hyunjin sat beside him, holding his hand. "You know, l've always envied your smile. It's so genuine and pure."

"You're the sunshine of the group," Changbin added, patting his knee.

"And no matter what anyone says," Lee Know said firmly, "We love you exactly as you are, and your smile is one of our favorite things in the world."

Seungmin's eyes glistened with unshed tears, but this time they were from gratitude. "You really mean that?"

"Of course," Chan said firmly. "Don't ever listen to those haters. Your smile lights up the whole room."

Hyunjin hugged him from the side. "Promise you won't hide it anymore?"

Seungmin felt tears welling up, but this time they were from gratitude. "Promise. Thank you, hyungs.

A small smile breaking across his face.

Bang Chan ruffled his hair. "That's our Seungmin."

That's more like it!" Changbin cheered, pulling him into a group hug.

The night ended with the five of them huddled together, sharing stories, laughs, and love.

Seungmin felt lighter than he had in weeks, surrounded by the people who cherished him most.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[genesis-otto]

If there is one thing that I'm sure of, it's that the losers club always bake cakes for their birthdays. But as we all know, they are iDiOtS. And their cakes are just...bad. I don't mean the taste, the cake always tastes good cause there are some responsible people in this group who somehow manage to do this part right. It's the visual that is horrible. Like do you imagine them trying to decorate the cake without fucked it up on purpose (or not) ? Yeah me neither. So here is what I imagine all the cake that the losers have done one year :

This one is for Bill, it was the first time that they actually made a real cake so he is ugly as fuck. Bill is born in january which makes him the oldest of the losers and I would imagine the losers always making fun of Bill for being old. And since he is the first to celebrate his birthday, the others will totally tease him all the time with the fact that he has now like 15 while all of them are still at 14. This nightmare will last until Beverly finally celebrates her own birthday in february. One entire month of torture for Bill Denbrough.

Bev is the only girl of the group and I'm sure that sometimes she's just so done with the bullshit of the other losers. She always reminds them that "boys are trash, but no offense guys." So it was obvious for them to make her a cake ridiculously girly with that beautiful sentence on it. (The cake is way better than Bill's cause they eventually did practice for it to be perfect. 'Bev deserves a perfect cake' they all said. It took them at least three tries before to manage to make it look good).

This one is obviously Richie's. They did it the year when Richie officially came out to them. They wanted to make a trash cake at first (Eddies and Bills idea) but Stan thought that making a gay joke was funnier. Mike agreed saying that it would show that they truthfully support their gay favorite trashmouth <3. (Eddie still used colors that didn't match together cause he wouldn't let go the trash idea).

(I don't know who are the people on the pictures, but let's just pretend that there are the guys of the new kids on the block). So this one is Ben's. It's Bev that came up with the idea and all of the others followed her cause they like to make fun of Ben for his, as Richie says, bad tastes in music. Ben still was happy when he saw his cake (and he ignored the comments of his friends) cause he thought that his cake was matching with Bev's.

This is Stan's cake. Who is surprised ? Not me. It was a collective message of all the group and Stanley flipped them off when he read what they had written (even if he found it funny, which he will never tell out loud). He also tried to say that he didn't need to go to therapy that bad but they're all traumatized, Stan fooled no one. (Bill promised him that they'll make him a bird's one for the next year so Stan was happy).

Mike is a sweetheart and they all know that. So they HAD to make him a cool cake. They know that Mike LOVES the animals at his farm so they wanted to make him a cute cow. They eventually manage to not completely fucked it up and Mike, very happy with his cake, give it a name. So when Bev tried to cut the cake for eating it, Mike took it away from her because "YOU CAN'T EAT JOHNNY, HE'S MY CHILD."

Eddie is the youngest, born in september. And oh god you don't know how long it seemed for Richie who was waiting for this moment all the year. Since the first time making a cake for Bill, he already knew what he wanted to do for Eddie's when it'll be his turn. The losers all made the cake and it was pretty nice. They left it one moment without supervision and it took only one minute to Rich to fuck it up. He was very proud when the others came back with Eddie and saw the note. Richie died this day.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for using very harsh words after trying to defend my sister?

So, me (17F) have a little sister (14F) and we study on the same school. My sister is usually very shy, but a very fun kid to be around when you meet her. She's kind, smart and very funny. She knows how to fight when she has to protect someone (me, our cousins, etc) because she is a very loyal person, but she doesn't know how to even yell when someone fights to her. She gets embarrassed easily and gets nervous, she chooses to ignore.

She's chubby (which it doesn't make her any less beautiful) and she already faced some unfunny jokes from other people before, which made her insecure about her body, but something so serious never happened to her... Until two weeks ago. So, I was hanging around with my friends, going back to my classroom when the school break was over. But one of my sister's little friend came to me and told my sister was crying in the bathroom and didn't wanted to get back to class.

My heart skipped a beat and I ran straight to the bathroom. When I got there, my sister's nerd little friends were all around her trying to talk to her, and she was there: her head hidden in her hands and hipcupping so much she couldn't even talk to me. One of her friends told me there was a girl in her class (let's call her Amanda) that was bullying her for at least a month, but now Amanda got worse: she called my sister an ugly cow in front of the whole class and said my sister's ginger hair looks bad. And Amanda also put chewed gum in her hair. Man, my vision got red. I was out of the bathroom before anyone could stop me and the only thing I heard was my sister telling me to don't go. But it didn't matter. That friend (the one that came to me to tell me about my sister) was following me and told which one of the kids walking to the classroom was Amanda. When I laid my eyes on Amanda, I realized that I've seen her around the school halls before. I know her kind: those young girls that are not even on highschool but try to act older. Using long ass nails and talking loudly about inappropriate things so she can be that girl. I tapped her back, she turned to me and I said "Are you the bitch bothering [my sister's name]?" and... Well, that's when the chaos began.

Basically, all the kids from her class and other classes were watching it all. Amanda was still acting all tough and saying she was just joking, that my sister was too weak to handle the truth and told me to fuck off. I also said some shit to her (I'm not gonna say some words because I think is inappropriate even for tumblr, but the least offensive thing I said was that she needed to grow tf up. And I called her a whore). But there was something that now is a water divider. Amanda is black and has a afro hair, that's always in a Black Power style. and I'm not racist. Never been. I don't even know what happened in this specific moment, but I was so done with her attitude that I think maybe I lost my head a bit? Amanda was trying to play victim saying I was making this a big deal. My sister's friend (that was having my back the whole fight) threw in Amanda's face that she got gum stuck on my sister hair, and Amanda said "yes, and? What she [and proceeded to point at me] gonna do about that, huh? try to stick gum in my hair too?" and I said "I don't need the gum, a comb can do the work already. Can you even pet your head without losing your hand?"

For a moment is like everyone went silent.

And the in the next moment, Amanda was screaming her lungs in the hall, yelling "fuck you". And said "not so fun when somebody makes fun of your hair now, right bitch?". Anyway, the teaches broke up the fight, everyone went back to class (and gladly my sister went back to class with no problem, her friends had her back). Amanda got detention and the principal will have some serious talk with Amanda and her mom (that wasn't any happy about her daughter behaving like a bully). Like I said, that was two weeks ago. Everything went to normal but some people still talk about it. My friends say that I am right, but they're saying I should be more careful next because what I said was racist. I didn't even realised how bad that sounded until now, because when the fight was happening, I could only thinking about different ways I could jump in her throat. My other friend said that he thought it was good that I said that, because, racist or not, now the girl will think twice before hating someone's hair too. My teacher (one of the teachers that broke up the fight) said she was at my side, but that I should be more careful because I I ran the risk of losing my reason.

Now I'm seriously thinking, I'm feelling kind of guilty now. Was I the asshole or not? Saying that was a bad move, even if my intention was just making her taste her own medicine?

[duchezss]

I've taken a bit to try and assemble my thoughts of jwct, and frankly I still don't know how to feel. Not in a "oh that was bad" kinda way, but in a "that was life changing how can I move on" kinda way. So I'm gonna do what I do best and just ramble on here, you know me. Spoilers of course.

Overall thoughts:

Holy cow the animation!! Not to say jwcc was ugly, but you can instantly see the budget differences. The lighting was gorgeous and the sequences were great. It was just so clear how much love was poured into every scene, the thought behind every move was so clear.

The story was so engaging and good. I thought I was gonna get tired of the "picking everyone up" trope, but it worked so well. I think the difference is this show knew how to take it's time. Ben and Darius had a few episodes to themselves, then Sammy and Kenji were given time to express their grievances. Hell we didn't even get to Yaz till ep 6 and I loved that. The dinosaurs were great too, and the overall plot was just amazing. I loved how it all slowly enfolded and how it was clear they had only scratched the surface with what they found out.

The voice acting was great as always, but it did kinda make me emotional at first to hear how much Paul had grown up. Getting used to Kenji and Brooklynn's new VA's was kinda odd, especially for Kenji, but by the end I was mostly cool with them.

The characters (and trust I'm gonna talk about all of them individually in a sec) were just superb. Their overall maturity and growth was outstanding, especially seeing how their trauma really effected them all differently. All of their arcs before and throughout the season were simply breathtaking. I think this season might be the best in terms of balance, it handled it's action, humor, and emotional moments so well.

This kinda relates back to the animation, I can't explain it, but they all just felt so much more human this season. Everyone's body language was so fluid and lifelike. They would talk over each other and mumble, they would hunch and roll their eyes and all of this sounds normal, but it really stood out. I think it's safe to say the animators really popped off this season, the direction was so clear this is truly a masterpiece. Also I felt like all of them were so touchy and I loved that so much. Like yes hug, hold hands, grab shoulders, pat on the back, I LOVE.

Characters:

Darius, my god Darius. Of course I've always loved him, he's an amazing mc and he is just so lovable. That being said I generally couldn't get over how much I loved him this season. He blew me away in ways I couldn't have imagined. His grief is so understandable and the way he shifted his ideology on dinosaurs because of Brooklynn was just heartbreaking. The way his character was handled was amazing, and it was wonderful to see that the writers do know how to let the others shine while still showcasing that he is the mc. I was also so in love with how sassy and witty he was, like when did he become so funny? His vulnerable moments were just as good and I loved how they showed his anger and frustration as well. His arc about learning to accept his grief and his regret was so poignant and beautiful. It's clear he needs a shoulder to cry on and yet he still puts everyone first, god I didn't think I could love him this much. He was easily the best character this season, I feel like they FINALLY showcased how amazing he is, just 10/10 no notes they ate.

I was kinda shocked by how goofy Ben was, but man I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it. Still can't get over how tall he is, and while I hated his design at first, it's really grown on me now. I really don't get how a lot of people are saying he felt like a shell of himself, cause frankly this season just cemented him as one of my favorite characters ever. He was kind, caring, understanding, humorous, he cracked jokes and messed around, but also got emotional and real. Him being a conspiracy theorist and living out of a van just makes sense, and the way he's the opposite of his germaphobe self now is hilarious. It was also interesting to see him as the meditator since he was the only one that got along with everyone else. He tried to help Darius with Kenji, he tried to give advice to Yaz about Sammy. It was just so lovely to see him so content and yet still himself? His scenes with Bumpy were so sweet and sad I can't stand them. Also I'm kinda obsessed with the fact that he's so big yet sucks at fighting and defending himself...king. I loved his mini arc about almost regressing on his fear, and how he grew from that. Ben ily light of my life, still the goat I fear.

Sammy's whole story just felt so heartbreaking. When they found her on the farm all alone it hurt me so bad. The way her family was her whole world and now they aren't on speaking terms? I hope the writers explain a bit cause I just can't fathom why? And Yaz moved away and she was really all alone. The way she approached her grief and her whole life in denial, and how she refused to accept anything was so heartbreaking. It hurt even worse because despite all of that pain she was still her. She was headstrong, kind, and passionate, for people and for dinosaurs. I did love how they still showcased her flaws and weaknesses. She had a hard time treating Yaz differently, but she also just wanted someone to actually be there for her. It's so clear she's tired and wants to be the one taken care of for once. Sammy stories feels heart wrenching in perhaps a more subtle way than the others. I really loved the direction the writers took her in this season. They showcased so much good and left us wanted more and ugh someone just give her another hug please.

If there's one thing the writers can be consistent on is making me despise Kenji. He was annoying me at first because of how he was approaching things, but he really grew on me by the end. He was this season’s punching bag and it was so heartbreaking. Brooklynn died and he blamed Darius and it's like he couldn’t escape his anger. It's interesting to see how him and Darius secluded themselves in different ways, and the way he still calls their mom? Oh I'm gonna cry. Yes Kenji is mad and he has every right to be, but it's clear his anger is misplaced. The whole scene with his father was so sad for so many reasons. Yes Kenji didn't like his father, but he literally watched him die. His breakdown was so painful to watch. I like how we can see Kenji kinda mature again over the season. It's as if he's relearning that not everything is in his control, and he shouldn't dwell on that. Sometimes his VA sounded too uninterested or nonchalant, which is a shame because the thing about Kenji is he pretends not to care but it's really the opposite. I am intrigued to see where this show will take his journey.

We took a while to get to Yaz, but I'd say it was worth the wait. I liked how this series didn't shy away from talking about her ptsd, and it took it even a step further by exploring peoples ways of coping. It's also interesting to see how fear has driven Yaz and how that has effected her relationships with all of them, but particularly Sammy. She's trying so hard to do better, but healing isn't linear and building a glass house around yourself can only do so much. I really hope they'll let us see how all of this is effecting her next season, because for someone is deathly afraid of dinosaurs this season put her through the ringer. That being said, I think there's no denying the bravery she showed. No matter how terrified she was she was always there for her friends. When Sammy needed her she knew how to calm her down, when her friends needed her help she let her instincts drive her. She even learned to let herself enjoy the moment, adding humor to trying to make the best of things. I feel for Yaz and I want to see her find comfort in her friends again, because she also just needs a hug.

Character: five stage of grief

While writing this I stopped and realized that in a way all of them really represented the five stages of grief regarding Brooklynn and just their life in general. So I wanted to take an interlude to talk about that for a moment.

Denial: Sammy - It's clear that Sammy has been trying to deny anything and everything, if only to pretend all of her problems are nonexistent. She doesn't want to believe that her family won't talk to her, and that Yaz won't either, and that her friend is just gone. Denying makes it all of it easier and so she makes herself busy so she won't even have a second to think about it all because then maybe she'd have to accept it.

Anger: Kenji - He's blaming everyone, especially Darius for Brooklynn's death. He blames the Allosaurus and he blames his father and through it all his anger never dwindles. Eventually it's all too much and he lets his anger become sadness, but it's clear his frustration and aggravation are not exactly gone. He can forgive but still feel mad at his situation and I think that's ok.

Bargaining: Yaz - Her's almost borderlines on denial like Sammy, but I think it's a little different. Because unlike Sammy she thinks everything is ok. She's convinced herself that this dino free island is fool proof and if she hides away like this nothing bad could ever happen. Obviously she comes to find out this isn't true and she has to accept the fact that her reassuring herself can only do so much. She has to face her fears, and boy does she.

Depression: Darius - From the get go we knew Darius wasn't doing too good. He's locked himself away in his bunker, cut off everyone, and had just become obsessed with catching the Allosaurus. Loosing Brooklynn was hard on all of them, but it's clear he took it the worst. It also didn't help that Kenji blamed him so much, so he fell into this hole. It's not the typical signs of depression, but his behavior is so different than before. Old Darius would have never cut everyone off and reduced dinosaurs to simple killers.

Acceptance: Ben - He's perhaps the only one that can speak so plainly about Brooklynns death. He constantly reassures Darius that it wasn't his fault and he's the one that rallies all of them together. His acceptance of her death is what allows him to put the pieces together that someone is after them. Of course he still mourns her, but the difference is he wants to get her justice and make sure all of them are safe as well.

Relationships:

To get the elephant out of the room THANK GOD brookenji broke up. I know they have a lot of shooters but I have and will never support or understand them. They just didn't work and had like zero chemistry. I really hope they stay broken up please writers I can't take it anymore. That being said I was pleasantly surprised Kenji's whole character wasn't just about Brooklynn. Yes she was a big factor, but without her there it's like he could be his own character again. That was always my biggest gripe with s4-s5 brookenji. I couple should not be reduced to their partners, they need to be their own person too.

Yasammy you will always be famous. The two of them were absolutely wonderful this season. Their fight was so warranted and valid and I loved that both of them were right in some ways. It's never black and white and it's up to communication to resolve those issues. The two of them are just so in love, they are actual soulmates like I can't. No notes, I think their relationship is proof that you can balance a couple and the individual. Sammy has her problems, Yaz has her problems, and together they can be a mess, but that's what so wonderful about it. The scene with them after they got out of the van was generally so beautiful I LOVE THEM.

Darius "I was in love with Brooklynn" Bowman....I USED TO PRAY FOR TIME LIKE THESE?? When I tell you I screamed I mean it so bad, I almost fell out of my chair. I know a lot of people aren't a fan, and they think it reduces their friendship, but I disagree. I think Darius still would've been heartbroken, but this just adds a layer. I also love it cause it's just so messy, and I think that makes it feel more real. What do you do if you love your brothers ex? I have been a dinostar defender for years, and I think there's no deny how much they mean to each other. I know he said Brooklynn didn't replicate his feelings but until we see the scene I'm gonna deny that. I think she rejected him because she didn't want him to get hurt in her investigation, that or she doesn't want to hurt Kenji. Let me just say writers you have a chance to get this all back on track PLEASEEEEE do not mess it up I can't take the heartbreak again.

Ben and Darius' friendship was kinda the best thing ever and I wasn't expecting it at all? I know they've had a rocky relationship before but this was so playful and I loved it so much. The way they goofed around and got into trouble, the show couldn't handle them together all season I guess. I also love how tender it was. Ben was so patient with Darius and it was clear he only wanted the best for him. Darius was just as patient with Ben and he helped him through his little paranoia relapse. They were such a good time and a blast to watch like the amount of times the two of them had me busting out laughing was insane.

Sammy and Ben duo oh how I've missed you. Another one I really didn't expect but they were so lovely. I loved how much they messed around yet they also dropped everything to commit a few crimes. Ep five was full of them and I loved it so much. Also the way Sammy constantly defended Ben was so special to me, that girl knew how to throw a punch lmao. Nothing too crazy, but so welcome and sweet. Also the way Ben was terrorizing Sammy on the phone with Yaz, peak cinema.

MIGHT AS WELL KILL ME NOW KENJI AND DARIUS. WHY are they always fighting Kenji don't make me mad. I loved their relationship so much. The way Kenji was so angry at Darius and yet Darius held him so close while he had a breakdown? Might just kms. They friendship is so rocky and real and I love that. I also love how Kenji wasn't angry when Darius said he had feelings for Brooklynn. He just listened and the maturity they both have is insane. I'm terrified of Brooklynn coming back and causing a love triangle, but honestly I'd be fine if they all just stayed friends if that means these two end up alright. When the brothers brother >>>

Ben and Yaz bestfriendism back everyone cheered. The way they still call each other by their last names actually kinda tears me to pieces. I love how Ben offers advice to Yaz even if it's in his own silly way. They're both so gentle and yet so playful with each other I love. I love that Yaz just let's Ben go on his side quests like yeah he's got it. They didn't get that many scenes but I still love them so dearly anyways.

The return of the king, Sammy and Darius. I know they didn't get that much but they were always one of my fav limited screen time duos. The way they constantly comfort each other just pulls on the heartstrings. Like when they just hugged in the back of the van? And when Sammy raced to hug him again in the warehouse? Ohh I love them. And despite it all Darius trying his best to defend Sammy? Save me older sister-younger brother duo save me.

Kenji got very limited time with Sammy and Yaz and I can't wait to see more cause those just iconic duos, I also would love to see more of Darius and Yaz since they also didn't meet till the very end. I really hope S2 (I'm pretending like it's already confirmed) let's us see more of this, especially Kenji and Yaz please I've missed them so much.

Ohhhhh Ben and Kenji. Benji nation we're kinda so back, living off crumbs is better than living off nothing. Ok but in all seriousness their relationship is so sweet. Ben trying to make Kenji see reason in the beginning, then letting Kenji hold Bumpy's egg cause it was clear that's what he needed at the moment. Then Kenji helping Ben when he got hurt. It's clear they speak in actions, not words. I need more of them like actually I've missed my pookies so bad.

Lastly I wanna talk about Yaz, Sammy, and Ben with Brooklynn. Their flashbacks broke my heart, and it also showcased how different their love and grief for her was. THE FACT THAT WE FINALLY GOT B DUO AND IT'S AFTER SHE'S GONE...my heart shattered. I love how funny and chill they were, we were so robbed of this in jwcc I swear. It's also kinda sad because the implication that Ben introduced Brooklynn to dark jurassic which subsequently lead her down the path that got her "killed"...I'm done. Also the fact that they were so casual implies that Brooklynn would constantly visit him at college which is just so sweet? I can't stand them bye. Sammy casually having Brooklynns old jacket tells me Brooklynn used to come over a lot, perhaps more when they were younger. Also Sammy seemed shocked to go in that room so I might be reading into this too much, but I see it as maybe that was Brooklynns guest room at one point? I am also a firm believer that Sammy dyed her hair pink for Brooklynn. Like Ben, everything just felt so casual and therefore more heart aching. Sammy wants to pretend like she could open that door and Brooklynn would just be there, researching and chilling. I think Yaz's flashback with Brooklynn is the saddest. All these years later and Yaz still confides and trusts Brooklynn to help her through her struggles. It's hard to believe they used to fight so much. Brooklynn is so understanding and kind, and I also find it interesting that it appears that Brooklynn was the one that really kept up with all of them. She wanted to be there for them, and it makes her supposed death that much sadder.

Random things of note:

I have always been a Benjamin denier AND NOW THEY'RE JUST DROPPING THAT OUT OF NO WHERE?? I can't have anything fr. Whatever, I'm still on my Sammy is short for Samantha box sue me.

Bumpy being a mother is so silly goofy but I'm hear for it, just glad she's ok cause if they actually tried to kill her I would've had to intervene.

I really loved the way they let everyone show emotions this season. Like yes of course they showed emotions before, but this felt so much rawer and realer if that makes any sense. Literally all of them cried once throughout the season and I loved that. But not just that, they let them be frustrated, and angry, and happy, and everything in between. KEEP IT UP.

All of the dinosaurs looked amazing, but man the Allosaurus stole the show. Also I loved the white eye, it made us want to view the dinosaur as evil in a way, and I think that was good for putting us in Darius' shoes.

The flashback sequence with Darius and the Allosaurus was so wicked. The team knew how to kill a dramatic moment oh my lord. This is kinda related to the animation too but so many shots were so cinematic. LIKE LIGHTING AND BLOCKING IS BACK PEOPLE. Brooklynn's apartment was gorgeous, Sammy's ranch during the sunset was beautiful. The scene of the explosion behind the T. Rex was iconic. We're so back

I'm so in love with how this show handled grief and not only that, but grief in a group setting. I think this might one of the only pieces of media I've ever seen that really shows how messy found family can be, and that's ok. It's not supposed to perfect, it's only as good as they make it.

Kenji saying dad in Japanese after having that conversation with his father about not being able to speak it, and the implication that he might've learned that word to try and talk with his father? Someone kill me like actually.

Darius wearing yellow agai- [GUNSHOT]

I could go into the color theory with all of their outfits but I won't cause I'm trying to not go that insane (it's not going well)

Ben's fanny back going across his torso, Yaz's iconic bangs.

The fact that Sammy found the map implies that A. Brooklynn came over right before she died and after Darius' confession, and B. That despite everything she still wanted and needed to talk to him about something.

Microbangs lady was actually scary as hell. I really liked her though, she was menacing and interesting. And she clearly valued her relationship with the raptors, I hope we see more of her.

I'm kinda sus of Mateo but I think that's just the trauma of every adult always betraying them. Hope he was chill and we won't see him again pls.

Sammy being such a great fighter is so random but I love it so much?? Like yes let her kick ass in cowboy boots that's my girl.

Where is Darius' necklace? When did he stop wearing it? It is important to the plot or did the animators just find it unnecessary?

Closing thoughts:

Overall WHAT A SHOW!! I had kinda fallen out of love with this show because s4 and s5 were kinda eh. I've never stopped loving the characters though, so this show was like a dream come true. Finally an amazing story to support these amazing characters again.

The character relationships felt at an all time high and I'm so grateful. These characters literally feel like my family too it's kinda bad how much I'm attached. I just love how much they love each other.

The only thing that kinda confused me was the ending. Why did they have to get on the boat right then and there? Why did no one stop the boat before it left? I'm not sure but I'm very excited to find out.

And lastly surprise surprise Brooklynn is alive. Of course I'm happy to know, but I kinda don't like the circumstances. I thought she was gonna be kidnapped or something so there would be a valid reason why she wasn't reaching out. But she's free and is just choosing to hide from the crew, with a good reason I assume. I think this will make her reunion with them more bitter than sweet, but I did just say I love messy so I'm excited anyway.

Y'all my fault I know I have a habit of rambling and making essays but this is just too much fr. Whatever I LOVE TALKING ABOUT WHAT I LOVE LMAO.

[yunoftheclouds]

Here is my take on the Obey Me! brothers but genderbent!

If you don’t like genderbends, please keep scrolling :’)

Individual files and comments under the cut :D

I wasn’t exactly sure what to do for her body type? But I did know I wanted her to have businesswoman vibes,,, I didn’t change the outfit much since it still fit in my opinion—save for the best and the shoes. Did you know women’s clothing has the buttons on the other side? That’s why it’s “backwards”. I also hate Lucifer’s OG shoes d(￣ ￣) so I swapped it out. Also figured a bun to keep her hair out of her face would be nice.

Honestly I don’t understand Mammon very much so I struggled a lot with the body type,,, I wanted to give everyone a body type that suited them, but it’s hard to do that when you don’t understand a character fully. I did try my best though! I also love the lighter palm detail on darker skintones,,, so pretty. Also you can’t tell me she wouldn’t wear ripped jeans. I won’t listen.

Gamer girl! Everyone always bullies Levi in their genderbent designs by making her flat,, it’s funny but I think it somewhat fits? I also changed her trousers to what I think she’d wear :’)

My personal favourite of the ones I’ve done! I may be biased though since Satan is my favourite in the game,,, lol. Again with the flipped jacket because women’s clothing yadda yadda. I’ve had this body headcannon for a while so I’m happy to finally execute it.

I don’t have much to say about Asmo—she’s just a girl living in her own world. Once again this is based on how I feel like she’d dress.

I didn’t change much at all with Beel. Before you come at me with “why didn’t you give her a big chest” please remember that they’re fat storages!!! With how much Beel exercises she wouldn’t be able to biologically have that (=´∀｀)

Haha insert cow joke here- okay but seriously, she seems like she’d be a really nice to cuddle with,,, Since she’s sloth I’d assume she wouldn’t be super skinny, so I gave her some chub. So cute. She has also been freed of the ugly pants OG Belphie has. ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

[emilyprentisssluvr]

wild life live reactions :333

CLEO’S WILD LIFE SPOILERS

CLEO CALLING BIGB PRETTY OUAHHH YURI IN MY LIFE SERIES

THIS WILD CARD IS SO GOOD

im giggling this is so funny — i love bigb and cleo theyre sooo :(( OH MY GOD BIGB IS STICKING WITH THEM HE HAS FRIENDS THIS TIME FOR NOW WOOOOOO

bigb’s house is so ugly i adore him

GODDDD I LOVE THE BIGB CLEO CONTENT i forgot what their name is

PEARL NAURRRRR RIPPPP i fear she wont survive to the last episode

LMFAO pearl has the worst deaths i love her

SHE ATE HER SWORD 😭😭😭😭

IMPULSE GOT POISON PLSSSS he sucks

i love cleo i think i need them biblically carnally spiritually etc etc

the yuri content is so peak i love this. bigb is a girl to me btw. this is yuri

BIGB SO MESSY i love it. adding rotten flesh to the sign

BIGB EYHO INTERACTION ???????? OUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELL YEAHHHHH

does bdubs look. normal ? was he his normal skin last ep or did he just forgor

FOOD IS ABOUT TO BE RANDOMISED ?????

this is so silly

i feel like nobody has read this far down but im having fun :3 — IM ONLY 15 MINS IN PLS

“what in tarnation” scar i adore yiu

CLEO’S SIGH AT BIGB LMAOO did that actuallt scare scar im cryijg why is he like that

i love scar’s “sh sh sh sh” laugh

THE GIRLS (gem and pearl) ARE FIGHTING. YURI !!

i love gem’s green life skin

“he can’t hear when he’s blind”

“babies are the worst” too right cleo. too right.

“youve always been the reasonable one of your alliance” everyone is yuri. its all yuri

“ooh sign is water breathing! i’ll see you guys later 😏”

cleo getting called a cow by her sons repeatedly 😭 /silly

SCAR NOT REALISING CLEO WAS HELPIMG PLEEEEEEASE

the fucking reputation board 😭

where is twink (grian) i want to see him pleek

omg gemjoel’s house is so cute

cleo using they/them for people once again iktr 💯💯

THE SOUND EFFECTS FROM THE FOOD

man i gotta stop watching now i gotta go out

[wh0reformatt]

Rating your animals!

platonic!reader x sturniolo triplets

tw: one or two cuss words? MY APPALLING WRITING ITS SI BAD GUYS SORRY 💀 i hate it but i was bored.

“welcome back to…whatever part of rating your animals!” nick said, pointing through the middle at the camera.

you sat in the back next to nick, behind chris. this wasn’t your first time filming with the triplets, having being friends with them for a while, but you still hadn’t done a lot with them on camera.

“however, this time we are back with y/n!” chris said elatedly, turning around and smiling at you.

“wassup youtube!” you said, smiling at the camera.

“ okay, like nick said we are going back to eating your animals due to the fact we all enjoyed it so much,” nick said, taking his phone out.

“we asked you guys on our main account to send some pictures of your animals, so we have loads of pets to look through-”matt began before chris clapped his hands, interrupting him.

“i need them to be more entertaining, like an- an elephant or something,” he said, nick matt and yourself looking at each other in disbelief.

“chris,” you began “ why the fuck would someone have an elephant as a pet?” turning to him, moving to the middle.

“someone had a cow last time-” he started before nick stopped him.

“because they lived on a farm dumbass, and a cow and elephant? two completely different things.” he said to him, laughing slightly at the end.

“yea but why couldn’t someone…”

“okay! let’s actually begin!” you interrupt both of them.

—————————————————————

“this is tessa,” matt said, showing you all a picture of a small chihuahua.

“why does it look feral? like get that away from me dude..” you said, chris laughing at the bluntness of your answer.

“exactly! it looks like it’s got rabies or something,” he agrees, looking at matts phone.

“okay, i’ve never seen why people like those dogs though, not to be rude!..” nick added, when everyone turned to him, eyebrows raised, slight laughs erupting.

“-because they all look like gremlins, for a start. and they always look like their uncomfortable, like i’ve never- never ever, seen a chihuahua not barking.” he finished, looking at you all.

“no i agree,” you said turning to him. “they’re either in a rich woman purse or” -

“oh my god i have to say-”

“CHRIS STOP!”

—————————————————————

and that’s how the video went, you each ranked the animals, your favourite being a doberman called david, and your least being tessa the chihuahua.

nick and chris had ended up arguing about wether a cow and a bull came from the same descendant, which took up a good chunk of the video- but you and matt ended up going through a few inbetween their arguments.

overall it was fun, you’d definitely try it again, not wanting to be as camera shy.

comments:

user1: dude i love y/n in these vids.

user2: that rat was ugly asf-

user3: WHEN NICK AND CHRIS WERE ARGUING AND MATT AND y/n JUST RATED SOME ON THEIR OWN-

user4: they should do blind, deaf, mute with y/n or just do a blind baking

user5: blind baking with y/n would be dead ass so funny 💀

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Pathetic Man

Lily has some thoughts after Z'rell calls Gale a pathetic man. SFW.

“Hmmm. You have used the wizard well.” I beg your pardon!?!? “But the desperate one who would love such a pathetic man must hunger for greater delights, deep down.” WHAT?!?!?

Lily’s eyes somehow got wider than she ever thought possible when she, Astarion, Gale, and Lae’zel met with Disciple Z’rell. She killed that poor orc without a second thought. Gods, what further horrors are hidden here? She pushed those thoughts from her mind as they managed (by the most insane luck I’ve ever witnessed) to rescue all the gnomes and tieflings imprisoned at Moonrise Towers.

However, despite the jovial mood at Last Light and camp, her mind replayed that moment, even as she sat with Gale in his tent after dinner. The gall of that woman. Pathetic man, my ass. Gale is brave and smart and funny and perfect and—

“You seem very far away, dearest. Is everything alright?” Gale gently asked. He placed a kiss on her freckled cheek while the hand on her ample waist traced circles.

She squeezed her eyes shut. “You’re not a pathetic man, and I’ve never once used you. That nasty, nasty woman.” Rage. Rage. No. Not now. Her lips captured his in a deep but short kiss. “And by the way, I only want your greater delights, love.” She pulled him to her in a loving embrace. “If anyone here is pathetic, it’s me anyways.” Lily sighed.

Her lover let out a thoughtful hum. “Why do you say that, sweetness?”

“Because I fell in love with the first man who was nice to me…showed any interest in me romantically…if that’s not pathetic, I don’t know what is.” she said bitterly.

“You’re just a really good friend, Lily.”

“You are the Countess’s daughter---I cannot court you.”

“Who would ever want the fat devil beast daughter of a dwarf?”

“Ugly cow of a woman.”

“The Countess cannot raise your dowery enough, my lady.”

Gale shifted in her arms so he could look at her. Gods, he has the most beautiful eyes. I could stare into them forever. “That isn’t true. Not even remotely true. You said that noble who was courting you—”

Gregor.

Shit for brains.

Asshole.

“I didn’t love him. Not like how I love you.” I would gladly take a million arrows, a thousand cuts, hundreds of shocks of electricity, and run through a fireball to protect you. Glancing away, she stared at the ground. “The second I pulled you from that portal that was it. I fell in love with you.”

“If that is pathetic, then so am I because I too fell for you in that same moment.” He chuckled, blushing a little. “Let us be pathetic fools in love together, shall we?”

Wrinkling her nose, Lily smiled and held him closer. “Only with you, magic man.”

[stesierra]

I'm writing a new book about angels and demons and the humans who have to deal with them because I want to and nobody can stop me. Here's the first chapter, which is pretty short. I have written this just now on my phone so live with any typos. There's no WIP intro. I haven't added to my Writeblr intro. I do what I want.

Let me know if I should write the rest of the book.

The Giant's Gamble

Chapter 1

Kirjath slipped through the ajar side door, contorting like a reed in a hurricane to clear the splintered doorframe. The nightclub music throbbed ahead of him, so loud he felt the vibration in his breastbone. To angelic ears, it was about as melodic as a jackhammer accompanying an angry toddler. But that didn’t matter. He wasn’t here to enjoy himself. Did he ever enjoy himself, really?

In the gloomy light, lovely young humans sauntered out of his way, half of them making cow eyes at him. The other half, mostly young men, did their best to puff themselves up, like offended cats. But the tallest of them didn't reach his shoulder.

He brushed past them all with a weary smile and pushed deeper into the club. Not towards the bar, which lay under a web of pipes that crawled across the unfinished ceiling like tentacles of some cosmic horror. Not towards the dance floor, where people who had, from his perspective, been born yesterday gyrated and swayed. No, his destination was at the back, through a door marked employees only. Locked, of course. As if it mattered.

With a twist of the wrist, he broke the doorknob off. It took only a second to dismantle the whole lock apparatus and squish himself through the too-small space. Nobody noticed, not with the music thumping overtime.

A dank narrow hallway greeted him on the other side, lit only by a bare bulb hanging from a frayed wire. It stank of black mold and piss. But at least he didn't have to look at the humans anymore. Kirjath hated places where humans tried to substitute alcohol for actual courage. And the music hurt his ears.

Down at the end of the hall, he found a crumbling stairwell leading down. Old leaks had scarred the cement with rusty water stains, as ugly as tear-stained mascara. No one had inspected this part of the building for decades. No doubt Camriel had ensured it. Well, he wouldn't be able to, after tonight.

He found his brother in the depth of his lair, sitting on a couch that had half-collapsed under his giant frame. Camriel wasn't actually his brother, for neither of them had ever been born. But the relationship was an appropriate shorthand.

The other grigori was staring up at a ceiling he'd plastered with pinups of anorexic teen girls. He looked almost skeletal himself, with legs so long the hems of his pants fell mid-knee. He stank of wine and too much cologne, the kind that claimed to be full of irresistible pheromones. His eyes were closed, but Kirjath couldn't tell if he was visiting the Intangible or just drunk.

“Camriel,” he said and drew his sword from thin air, which is where he kept it. People looked at you funny if you wore as sword these days. Especially one long enough for a giant.

The other angel opened bloodshot eyes and stared up at him. “Kirjath? Have you come to kill me?”

He nodded. Obviously so.

Camriel sat up, and the couch collapsed the rest of the way with a whump. “Why this time?”

This was obvious, too, but Kirjath answered, because he knew Camriel loved to live in denial. “You've been siring children. Triplets, all so big they had to be cut from their mother's belly. All unnaturally beautiful and strong.”

Camriel scoffed and scrambled to his feet from the ruins of the couch. “C-sections are routine now. Doesn't even kill the mother. What does it matter?”

“Nephilim are never routine,” Kirjath said. “Even if the mother survives.”

“Oh, like the modern world can't use a few more men of renown? They can get basketball scholarships. Life will be a cinch. Really, they should thank me.”

“Who should? The children you abandoned?” His grip tightened on his sword.

Camriel tossed his long hair over his shoulder. If he'd ever tried to comb it, the comb was probably still lost somewhere in there. “Heaven should thank me, for improving the gene pool.”

Kirjath nodded and offered his brother his most disappointed look. And then he stepped forward and rammed his sword through his brother's stomach.

“Ow! Fuck!” Camriel said, curling around the steel that had split his intestines. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Kirjath kicked his feet out from under him and ripped the blade loose, spraying the mildewed carpet with gore. He stood over his dying brother and said, “We were exiled. Because you couldn't stop breeding. Because you couldn't leave the humans alone.”

“It wasn't just me,” Camriel said, his tone utterly offended.

“The grigori,” Kirjath snarled. “Because they wouldn't stop. Because none of you would. And now look what’s become of us. I'm not going to let you keep breaking the law. Not that one. The only one that matters.”

“What are you, heaven’s watchdog?” Camriel spat. “They threw you out too, Kirjath! They threw us all out! So what if I broke their laws? Who the fuck cares?”

“I care,” Kirjath said. He lifted his sword.

Blood ran down Camriel’s lips and pooled in the hollow of his throat. “You think you're better than me?” he gurgled. “Better than the rest of us? Because you never knocked up some girl? You're not. Because you--”

Kirjath swung. And his brother's head rolled away, lips silenced, as the irony stink of blood overwhelmed the little room where his brother had spent his sad little life.

He'd be back, but not right away. And by the time he made his way back to the Tangible, perhaps he would have learned his lesson.

He turned his back on the headless body, dismissing his sword back to nowhere from whence it had come. And came face to face with a young woman. She stood in the doorway with a delighted look on her face, and she wore the sigil of Lilith at her throat.

“You killed him,” she said. “How wonderful.”

Tag list for everything

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Just chapters and snippets

@da-na-hae

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2023 Day 6

Comedy or Tragedy

I'm primarily someone that loves both consuming and writing comedy but I have to say that Metalocalypse, besides being funny, is ripe with angst potential. Because of that, I struggled choosing one for this day. Eventually, I managed to come up with something…and here it is.

Hope you enjoy!

Toki clung to Skwisgaar, sobbing inconsolably on his shoulder. “No, it can’t ends like dat!” He hiccuped. “It amsn’t fair!”

Skwisgaar, though less emotionally overt, had tears in his eyes. “It ams…like dat…”

“No!” Toki yelled, banging on his own thighs. “No! Please!”

Skwisgaar watched him sadly, fighting off the tears.

“It can’ts…” Toki’s voice got lower. “I can’ts…No…No…”

Wiping his eyes, Skwisgaar patted him awkwardly. “It will be okays…eventuallskies…”

“But hows?” Toki insisted, his eyes red and cheeks wet. “Hows can it evers?” He buried his face in his hands. “Hows…”

Skwisgaar tried to speak, but his voice didn’t come out. He cleared his throat, voice broken when he talked. “You has to believes…One deys…”

“Hows can you be okays when you lost it alls?!!” Toki turned to Skwisgaar and the latter looked at him with so much despair in his eyes. “Oh, Skwisgaar…my hearts broken…” He sniffed.

“I knows…” Skwisgaar nodded slowly. “Never thoughts…dis could happens… toes us…” He rubbed his eyes, in an attempt to regain his composure, instead breaking down in front of Toki.

“Oh, no, Skwisgaar…” Toki cupped Skwisgaar’s face with worry.

“Everythingks ams so frails…” Skwisgaar looked to the side, distraught. “In da blinks of an eyes…it can goes away…”

Wordlessly, Toki wiped the tears off Skwisgaar’s face with his thumb. “Don’t cries…” He whispered, while crying himself. 

Dark blue eyes met icy ones. “Toki…” Skwisgaar pleaded his name, like he was about to break into pieces.

“Skwisgaar…”

Pickles walked in with a bong and almost dropped it over the sight. “Whu….Whut is goin’ on here?!”

Toki turned to the voice, casually letting go of Skwisgaar. “Oh, Pickle!” He rubbed his nose. “We were watchings um, whats it calls…”

“Da Broker’s Mount Ann…” Skwisgaar sadly, drying his face with his shirt. 

“The Brother’s Mob Plan…” Toki repeatedly wrongly, just as sad.

Pickles’ eyes went from the rolling credits on the TV, to Skwisgaar and Toki, to finally the DVD box on the table. Something seemed to click on his brain, because he sighed and went. “Ye mean…Brokeback Mounteen?”

“Ja, dat’s what we says.” Skwisgaar raised an eyebrow.

“Moidaface says it was a cows boy movies…” Toki explained, looking down pathetically. “We thoughts they would has horses and has gun fights…”

“Fuckingks Moidaface…” Skwisgaar cursed under his breath. “It was so fuckingks depresskings…”

“Ye guys are so fucken stoopid…” Pickles said, to no one in particular. “Who hasn’t heerd of Brokeback Mounteen?”

“He mades us watch a gay movies and cries about it!” Toki ignored him, getting progressively angry instead. “We should…We should kills him!”

“Ja!” Skwisgaar stood up in agreement. “He mades us gays! We amsn’t gays! Lets kill hims!”

“Uh, I think you are pretty ghey…” Pickles commented and took a bong rip before flopping on the couch. “I mean, ye were like-”

“Let’s go, Skwisgaar!” Toki decided, standing up too. “We can burns his dicks while he ams sleepings!”

“We cans drop a huge pianosk on his stupids, uglies dick!” Skwisgaar suggested, with a mischievous smirk. 

“Yeah!” Toki cheered and they left, mumbling and cackling about the possible suffering they could inflict on Murderface. 

Pickles watched them go with disbelief, a cloud of smoke surrounding him. “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, or somethin’.”

[calder]

"I'd use a bullet on myself, but with all these critters an' mobsters about it feels a waste, don't it?" -Clutch, about why he hasn't killed himself

Clutch Connors is a human male that can be found in the area south of Connors Farm. When approached he will bark a series of quips in a random order, sometimes based on player statistics.

"Razorgrain, rays-or-grain. Heh, yeah. I'll take the grain any day of the week.

Whatever happened to bullfrogs?

You jack off with that arm Mister Meaty? (If the Sacrificial Lamb has a Strength score of 7 or higher.)

'S okay pardner, I'm not much for books either. (If the Sacrificial Lamb's Intelligence is 3 or lower.)

Met a guy named Fallout once, ugly motherfucker.

What the fuck is a cow anyways?

I'm a centrist, 'cept when 'm not.

Don't ask me about roads.

War... What was it about war...?

Please, kill me. Just fucking kill me. Do it before the shmuck with the buttons makes you walk away. Please. (Has a rare chance of occurring if the Sacrificial Lamb has the Wild Wasteland trait.)

Clutch is involved in the quest Saint James Infirmary Blues and is one of the escaped patients the Sacrificial Lamb is tasked with rescuing, while the quest is active, you can speak to him and at first he will be apprehensive about returning, the player can either use a Speech check of 40 to convince him to return, or state that they'll take him there by force, after which he will become immediately hostile. If the Sacrificial Lamb has a Medicine skill of 70 or has Frankie in their party, they can determine that Clutch is not a danger to himself or anyone around him, but unless they can also get Weezel to confess to struggling with gender dysphoria and convince Rhonda Simmons to stop taking Day Tripper to hide her autism, the quest will not be marked as complete until they either kill him or convince him to go back to Dr. Rollins.

After the conclusion of St. James Infirmary Blues where he stays at the farm, Clutch will be hostile to any entities hostile to the Sacrificial Lamb in the area, and the player can initiate dialogue with him where he opens up about his struggles with suicidal thoughts and schizophrenia. After exhausting all dialogue options, every time the Sacrificial Lamb talks to Clutch, he has a chance to give a Fancy Lad Snack Cakes, Instamash, Pork n' Beans, Tin Can Grenade or Radweed Joint to them along with a random statement of gratitude.

Thank you for being my friend.

Thanks for not takin' me t' that funny farm.

Hey, I love you... don't make it weird.

Nobody's ever been that nice to me before, here, have this.

Hey, I like men too. (If the Sacrificial Lamb has the Black Widow perk)

Hey, I like men too... you're not my type, though. (If the Sacrificial Lamb has the Confirmed Bachelor perk)

From one motherfucker to another motherfucker, eh?

Hey don't tell Ma about this one. Heheh. (When giving a Radweed Joint)

If the Sacrificial Lamb instead takes him back to Dr. Rollins, he will be wearing a Patient's Gown and standing inside the New Unity Clinic, where if spoken to, he will normally be silent with the subtitles simply show "..." He has a small chance to whisper "Fuck you." and if the Sacrificial Lamb has the Wild Wasteland trait he can also say, "You know you'll lose Karma for this, right?" At the conclusion of the quest Bad Medicine, if Dr. Rollins is killed, he will sometimes stand over his corpse and talk to it with his arms crossed, regardless of if the Sacrificial Lamb kills Dr. Rollins or gets Ranger Sykes to arrest him, Clutch will eventually return to Connors Farm with his inventory reset, but will keep the barks from convincing him to return to the clinic.

Clutch's inventory contains a random amount of regular 10mm ammunition and one random special 10mm round (but he will have more if the Sacrificial Lamb has the Scrounger perk and kills him.) He is equipped with leather armor and a 10mm pistol. While staying at the New Unity Clinic, he is equipped with a patient gown and his inventory is empty.

Exhausting all of Clutch Connor's dialogue after completing Saint James Infirmary Blues without killing him or returning him to the clinic is essential to completing the Basket Case challenge and receiving its related perk.

Trivia

Clutch almost recites the classic phrase "War never changes." found throughout the Fallout series, but forgets the rest of the sentence.

His apprehension regarding the subject of roads may be a reference to players in Fallout: New Vegas being able to ask characters about the NCR-Legion conflict, where many of them will bring up the safety of roads. (citation needed)

His Wild Wasteland dialogue in the New Unity Clinic is a reference to Karma, a statistic that tracked the morality of players' actions in previous Fallout games.

Mister Meaty was the name of a puppet show that briefly aired on Nickelodeon from 2007-2008.

Glitches

Prior to Patch 1.03, Clutch would become immediately hostile to the Sacrificial Lamb upon starting Saint James Infirmary Blues.

Prior to Patch 1.17, Clutch would sometimes be dead of a gunshot wound if the Sacrificial Lamb approached him and then left Connors Farm without starting or completing Saint James Infirmary Blues. Using console commands to warp directly to the farm from the clinic will show that he was meant to be shooting at tin cans on a fence, but because the cans have no collision until picked up, if a caravan is walking by, he can hit one of the caravan guards, traveling merchants or pack brahmin, causing them to turn hostile and kill him before returning to their route.

Clutch will sometimes use the same combat barks as the Stargazer cultists or Infected Commandos

Clutch will sometimes say one of his perk or item dependent lines when giving the Sacrificial Lamb Pork n' Beans, regardless of if they have the prerequisite perk and not receiving a Radweed Joint.

If Dr. Rollins is spawned in front of Clutch after killing him during the quest Bad Medicine using console commands, he will still talk to him as if he was dead.

this seems to be an entertainment-oriented article for a bunch of fallout that doesnt exist. i have no idea of the context or joke but this was a fun read, thank you !

[star--nymph]

@schwarznummer1: woah woah woah I'd love to know about things you said when you're scared!

This is an old ooooolld prompt I got way back in the day (old enough that I don't even remember who asked for it or if it was on this tumblr) but basically, I thought it would be fun to explore Eurydice's jealousy and insecurities with Cullen, especially pre-relationship, before she really understood what she was feeling and if she even liked it.

They both say some not great things to each other, Eurydice because she is terrified and Cullen because he's rightfully frustrated and confused with her. It makes for a messy, angry situation.

There is an ugly, hollow feeling in her chest. She doesn’t like it. Eurydice plucks at the strings of her shirt, thinking she can pull the feeling out, give it room to fly away. A chorus of laughter, the slamming of mugs on wood, the cheerful chattering swells in the air from the open windows of the tavern and makes the hollow feeling expand. She tries not to listen for a musical giggle among the voices, from the grinning mouth of a woman, with her shining raven hair and her curvy form and enchanting face. And a hand on Cullen’s–no, wrong, rur, stop– On her Commander’s–no, tel, tel, again, bad thoughts, he’s not– On the Commander’s arm. And she was beautiful. She had red (red as rose red as blood red in the darkest pits of the heart, spilled on white linen gorgeous) lips and smiled at him in a way that made her the most radient thing in the room. Outshining the candles, the fire, everything–and Eurydice was dim next to it. Then the Commander smiled back, laughed even, bright as her, in his own golden way, and…and… It hurt and she didn’t know why. It still hurts now. The ugly feeling coils tighter and tighter, eating at the center of her chest, and when she plucks it, the throbbing matched the beat of her heart. Eurydice closes her eyes and fits herself flat into the embrause and against the stones, fingers combing through tangled strands of her hair like a mantra, like a prayer, like a life line. She wants to will it away, what ever it was. It is coercive and in her blood, bitter on her tongue and angering—and--and undeserving. Why does it matter? A wave of noise surged out of the windows and it washed over her until she’s drowning in salt-twinged shame, her ears searching for his voice among it all, whispering someone else’ name in that tentative manner of his. Treating it like a melody rather than a sound like he does to her name, but in a sweeter way. She bites her lip until it hurts to make it stop, but the pain doesn’t cut through, it just carries it on. Pathetically, she cows to it, bends her body in the most childish of ways, and she finds that she dislikes herself for it. Why does she care? It’s a question she doesn’t have an answer to and she dislikes that even more. This is not the first time someone has touched the Commander. Not the first time he smiles or laughed at someone who coaxed it out of him. She watched it before from a distance with curiosity and the occasional bated breath, wondering if she could ever do such a thing for him. How she would do it. She didn’t have the easy eloquence of Josephine or Dorian, the talent of careless stories like Varric, or the ties of comradity that Cassandra owned, but still she thought she might try. Her sisters told her she could be funny and there are times when people have laughed at her when she said things. If she could finish the riddle and figure out why, then perhaps she could make Cullen laugh. Laugh in a way where he surrendered his whole being to it. Bellowing with his whole chest as he snorts and throws his head back, his freckled cheeks pink with mirth. The laugh she found herself enamored by. Sometimes, he chuckles at her and he gives her a smile that she did not have the words for, but she knew that, some how, that it is only for her. One can not own another’s facial expressions, she knows, but it has to be for her--he gives it to no one else. It is a small smile, delicate and aching as a loving secret and every time, she wants to touch it, tracing her fingers across his lips so she could never forget what it felt like. She wonders if it would feel like love. And that frightens her.