#cowboy optimus prime

[unknownprinciples]

MORE TFA SOUTHERN OPTIMUS PRIME HEADCANNONS!!

Minors do not interact

SFW

He calls you darlin in your ear when the others aren't paying attention, just to see you get flustered

Then acts like he did nothing wrong.

A biiig tease with his accent, but only for you

When he's frustrated enough, he'll sneer and the accent 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 thicken.

I like to think he has sharp canines, so if you make him laugh hard enough, they'll peek out.

I really imagine him sounding like Teddy Swims if Optimus ever sang

Mass-displaced cuddling with him is like heaven, he'll whisper sweet promises to you while holding eye contact. One servo holding you close over your hip. The other being used as your pillow.

Imagine waking up next to him and hearing a very tired but warm voice come from him.

"Good mornin sugar...sleep well?"

He definitely keeps a servo on your hip or lower back at all times.

This mech adores you. Everything you do makes his spark wanna jump out of it's chamber.

Likes to rest his helm on your thighs or chest after a long day. Your heart beat is to calming to him.

Kisses with him are soft yet trusting. Silent promises to keep you safe. Treat you with the respect you deserve. To love you for all of eternity.

10/10 best mech ever

NSFW

His voice gets husky whenever he's in the mood, and gets more touchy.

Buries his face in the junction of your neck and nips at it softly, pressing kiss onto the area he attacked.

The amount of growling coming from him during sex...immaculate~

The mating press is a definite favourite of his. Being able to sink into your warmth and bite at your neck, at the same time..he love it.

He definitely whimpers when he's close, grabbing onto your hips just to try and pull you closer than you two already are.

Keeps thrusting even if you've already released, wanting to make sure completely satisfied before he even thinks about himself. Such a gentlemech.

Southern Optimus is definitely a thigh and ass kind of mech. Don't get him wrong he loves 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 but thought of you squeezing his helm with them as he 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 you.....

*ahem* anyway-

He has a biting kink. No debate.

Not enough to puncture skin, but juuust enough to leave a pretty little mark on you

Now when you two kiss during heated moments are a bit different from other times.

These are hungry, desperate, weather it's from him or you, neither of you can tell.

One servo is on your hip, digits pressing into the meat of your ass, the other holds the back of your head so you can escape

Only giving you a minute to breathe before diving back in.

Aftercare is a precious time for the both of you. His voice is scratchy but content.

Cleans you up first before he attends to himself, you will always come first. 💜

He loves to have you rest on top of him so he can feel both his spark and your heart slow down and beat/pulse at the same time.

Whelp that's all for now, I spent way to much time on this... Worth it

Bye bye your curious eldritch creatures

[rider6666]

MegOp👀✨(Next style for Optimus and Megatron lol✌️)

[plutoids-thoughts]

hehe megatiddies 🤠🤠

(ooooOoOo tap the images for better qualityyy)

[fictional-love-is-my-life]

Request time

I have no requirement except I want the reader to be optimus wife.

I was a fluffy one shot with ur every character in it.. a day to day life of a sheriff's wife in town as she meets and greets people while delivering Lunch to her workaholic husband.

I am leaving the rest in ur reliable writing skill.

It was a beautiful day, the sun still low in the early morning sky meant it wasn't too hot. A soft breeze shook the leaves to make a peaceful sound. You were outside doing your morning laundry chore, when arms wrapped themselves around your waist. Lips pecking at your cheek. You giggled and leant back into the warm body behind you.

"I have to go. I hope you have a pleasant day." Optimus kissed your cheeks a few more times, before spinning you around and placing a kiss on your lips.

"Be safe, I'll see you when you get home." You kissed him once more, then waved him off as he headed into town.

You finished washing the clothes and hung them up to dry. Heading inside to start the rest of the daily chores. Then you spotted Optimus' lunch still on the table. You shook your head and tutted. Your husband was so eager to get to work he often forgot to grab his lunch. Although, you also wondered if he did it purposefully, knowing full well you would bring it to him.

You grabbed his lunch and made your way into town. You never minded the trip, it gave you an excuse to see your husband and to see other townsfolk as well.

You spotted Arcee and Elita first, they were leading a herd of horses past the outskirts of the town. They spotted you and waved, you smiled and waved back. You stood for a few minutes watching as the beautiful creatures trotted by you. You always enjoyed watching them work, and thought back to the time Arcee taught you how to ride a horse. Once the herd had passed, you continued walking.

Bulkhead and Wheeljack where carrying a fresh supply of Energon into the saloon, Jazz was watching them carefully ensuring they didn't drop any of the supply.

"Good morning." You called out. Jazz waved, but the others just greeted you, their full hands preventing them from returning a wave.

"Watch out." Wheelie zoomed under Bulkheads legs. Bulkhead almost tripped but managed to regain his step, and managed to keep hold of the Energon. You giggled and kept moving towards the Sherrif's office.

Croshairs and Cliffjumper rode past you, tipping their hats as they greeted you. You tipped a pretend hat in return.

"Mornin' miss." Jetfire greeted you, his cane slightly shaking from his weight. He was crossing the road towards the general stores location.

"Morning Jetfire."

"I see he forgot his lunch again." Jetfire tutted.

"He did." You replied. "Honestly if it wasn't for me he probably wouldn't eat."

"You're probably right about that. Take care now." Jetfire hobbled past you.

You spotted Hound and Sideswipe talking outside Hound's armory, most likely about weapons. They spotted you and waved, you returned the gesture. Though it was still quite early, mostly everyone was out and about. You were happy to see them all.

You finally arrived to the Sherrif's. Hot Rod and Bumblebee were talking outside. They were signing, and though you knew a little sign language, Hot Rod and Bee's hand movements were in a pace you couldn't keep up with. You caught a few words such as 'escape' and 'cattle'. But not much else.

"Morning gentlemen." You greeted.

"Good Morning madame." Hot Rod tipped his hat to you. Bee did as well then signed Good Morning.

"Everything well for you Hot Rod?" You asked.

"Yes, thank you. I was telling Bee that I found a hole in my fence, though it is fixed now I had two rogue cattle this morning." Hot Rod explained.

"Have they been caught?"

"Oui, Crosshairs and I got them pretty quickly."

"I'm glad. Now, I must get this to the Sheriff." The two parted allowing you to enter the building.

Ironhide was inside leaning against one of the prison cells bars. He was leering inside at it's occupants. Leadfoot and Roadbuster were inside. Leadfoot was holding his head while Roadbuster was still sleeping on the bed.

"Feeling better?" Ironhide asked.

"I will after some Energon and some good hard work." Leadfoot grumbled. He smacked Roadbuster, waking him. Roadbuster sat up a little startled by the smack, but soon came to his senses.

"You gonna keep us in here all morning or can we get to work?" Roadbuster groaned.

"If you didn't get into so many brawls you wouldn't end up in here. Now come on, out of my cell." Ironhide opened the cell door and let the two out. They shuffled out of the door.

Ironhide turned to you.

"Sherrif's out right now. He's doing his rounds but he'll be back soon." Ironhide explained.

"That's alright, do you mind if I wait here?" You asked. Ironhide shrugged and sauntered over to his desk to fill out paperwork.

You made your way to Optimus' desk and sat down in his chair, placing his lunch on the table. Your eyes glazed over some of the paper neatly stacked on his desk. Neat handwriting written across them.

Before you had any time to see what was written the door opened, catching your attention. Your husband sauntered through, taking off his hat as he did. He spotted you and grinned, his eyes sparkling in adoration for you.

"My love, this is a pleasant surprise." He greeted, grabbing your hands and helping lift you from the chair. He embraced you, giving you a soft kiss.

"Is it a surprise when you once again forgot your lunch?" You giggled.

"Ah, I did, I am forgetful sometimes. Thank you for bringing it." He said, not confirming nor denying if it was intentional. You combed his hair with your hand and brushed some dust from his clothes.

"I can't let you go hungry. But I should be going now."

"Could you stay a little while? Perhaps we could take a walk?" He asked.

"Aren't you busy?"

"I can always make time for you, especially since you made your way down here. Ironhide can cover, and Bee is close by as well." Optimus explained.

"Well if you insist." You linked your arm with your husbands and let him guide you outside.

Though the day was later and the sun was higher in the sky it was still a pleasant day. The breeze keeping you cool. You and Optimus took a stroll through the town, watching the townsfolk as they worked. You gently rubbed Optimus's arm as you walked, enjoying the closeness. You enjoyed every second you got with your husband.

"Anything troublesome happening lately?" You asked.

"Not of late my dear. All is quiet in our little town." Optimus stated.

"Is it quiet?" You raised a brow. Just as you spoke Skids and Mudflap burst through the general store's door. Daytrader following behind, berating them for making a mess in his store.

"Well, perhaps not quiet. But not any louder than normal." Optimus quipped. You giggled. Optimus unlinked from your arm and headed towards the disturbance.

You watched him work as he calmed Daytrader and scolded the twins. After the situation was handled he came back to you, offering you his arm once more.

"Perhaps I should get back to work. But I will walk you to the outskirts before I say farewell." Optimus suggested. You rested your head against his shoulder as you walked to the edge of the town, enjoying his presence.

Though it was a short walk, you still enjoyed your time with your husband. You parted once at the edge of town. Optimus cupped your cheek with his hand and leant down to capture your lips. The two of you sharing soft kisses for a minute.

Optimus was the first to pull away, brushing your cheek with his thumb. You leant into his touch, not wanting him to let go.

"I hope the rest of your day is quiet and easy." Optimus hummed.

"I think I should be saying that to you." You countered. Optimus chuckled.

"Let's hope we both have a good day. I will see you upon my return home later. Farwell for now my love." Optimus captured you lips for one final kiss before he started walking back into the town.

You watched him walk away for a few seconds, before turning and heading back to your home, your lips missing Optimus' touch.

[paradimeart]

I'd like to request something a little different, human Swindle and a little Sari?

they're just nerf guns i swear

[dipsticktapedeck]

Transformers wild west au. I'd elaborate but I have no further information. Just a dream.

[final-milf-ratchet]

Optimus and elita-1 are butch4butch. 2 me.

[riskyraiker]

I have a idea that reader is like a sheep in their monoform and then a black wolf in their alt form kinda like a wolf in sheep's clothing or sheep in wolf's clothing🤩

Oh. my. Gosh! I love this😍😍 Just imagine reader seeming like a sweetheart and all by looking like a sheep, but in battles looking like a wolf they're ruthless!!!

TFP bots with a reader whos bipedal mode looks like a sheep, but alt form is a wolf

You've been on the team as long as you landed on earth. Everyone thought you were so sweet and nice, since you look like a sheep, but why you didn't have an alt form? Well you do, but don't want to show it that much, being afraid of their opinion on you. The team did like having a second medic whose actually optimistic! Unlike Ratchet, who is always grumpy.

Back up was needed and the fight wasn't going well on your teams side. You demanded Ratchet to open the groundbridge which did confuse him, but still went with it. Running through and transforming, you bite the first vehicon who happens to be infront of you. The team thought someone new arrived since the wolf didn't even look like you. Half of the team was amazed about your ruthless acts, the other half was almost horrified! The fight was over...The bots was secure enough to come back from their hiding spots. Optimus spoke first, "With who do you fight? Autobot or an decepticon." Your alt form didn't have a badge for some reason. "Why are you asking optimus? It's me? Y/N."

Optimus prime

At first he didn't believe it was you, until you went back into your bipedal mode.

Was worrying why you hid this from them or did someone do this to you.

Treats you the same ofc! If you need a shoulder to lean on Optimus listens.

He would stand next to you if someone was against Cyberwolfs.

Was actually surprised when he realized you could act so ruthless. He NEVER imagined you were like that this whole time.

If you ever hung out using your alt mode, expect him giving you scratches! If you accept them of course.

Doesn't want you on the battlefield without you using your altmode. He doesn't want to use you, but the alt form is overpowered against regular vehicons. If you disagree about this he accepts it.

If you two were good friends expect him to be around you even more from now on!

Ratchet

Was confused not to see you with the team, but was more than shocked when he saw a cyberwolf walk through.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO Y/N?! WHE-" "Calm down doc, that's her." Wheeljack just teased the medic.

Was a little angry how you kept this form hidden, but couldn't be angry that long since you're so nice

He wouldn't give you scratches unless you asked.

Still confused how your modes didn't match up at all! Was thinking were you a sheep in wolfish clothing or vice versa?!

If he refuses to recharge you just pick him up and walk over to his berthroom door.

Bumblebee

PRIMUS A CYBERWOLF?! oh it's just Y/N..Y/N IS A CYBERWOLF?!

Prepare for A LOT of scratches. He loves earth animals and now he loves you! Platonically!

He gives you scratches when he's in hand reach. So he'll give you scratches a lot!

If you're able to he wants to get a ride on your back!

Was confused why you kept this hidden, but wasn't mad, gladly.

He acts like a cowboy! Or is it a wolfboy? Who cares, it's cool!

He acts like you're his little pet, which you just joke about with anyone

If he's a bee and you're a wolf then you two are the animal duo!

Arcee

Well this is a surprise! One of the nicest bots left in this cruel world did hide something big.

Was mad at you for a little bit, but forgave you since you're always so nice if others aren't.

Would love your skills in the field!!

If she's acting sassy on you, you just pull the wolf card and pick her up.

Ask her for a little petting and you have a nice little session of it!

Watch out with that tail of yours! Don't hit Arcee with it or you might get a small scar on it.

Bulkhead & Wheeljack

"Hey Bulk, you always wanted a pet didn't you? So I got us a puppy!" Type of situation.

Since these two are not the smartest lads you might need to carry them out of the battlefield.

First they're protective and now they're still protective :)

But when you're in bipedal mode they treat you like a baby alright?!

They're the passive aggressive petters😭😍

LOBBING! If you want to play with them I hope you prefer the alt mode so you can BEAT THEIR AFTS!

Have fun with two dumb idiots who loves you like family no matter what form.

Smokescreen

You're not his pet. No no no no. He's your little puppy now bitches!

If you acted soft like a sheep, protect him like the beast you are!

He's clinging on your tail the moment he has the chance.

SCRATCHES!! ALL DAY EVERY DAY!

You know when he was so happy and excited as he met optimus? This is part 2 baby!

He doesn't care if you're insecure about your alt mode. Number 1# fan right there!

Please let him ride on your back sometimes, he's like a child in a candystore😭

Ultra Magnus

Have fun with Commander here :D

Rules this rules that but still he has respect for you. You're probably rarer than red energon?!

Will not give you scratches when you ask or even if he could. Maybe, like reaaaaally maybe he might give you small scratches if you did something great!

If he's in a hurry just give him a lift. He doesn't care if you pick him up, but do it carefully!

"you're too soft during a war" happy now? Probably yes. If nobody of their own gets hurt, of course.

----------------------------------

AN: AAAGGGHH IM SO SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!! I HAD NO MOTIVATION TO WRITE ANYTHIN FOR SO LONG?!?!

[flightyalrighty]

Only one character could possibly survive infested. Mr Rogers in a blood stained sweater

Only Mr. Rogers??

What about Old Godzilla hopping around Tokyo city like a big playground? Or Batman with his bat grenades? Or Shaq who can open up a can of Shaq-Fu, or Aaron Carter coming out of the blue? Maybe Abraham Lincoln popping out of his grave? He's got that AK-47 under his hat, y'know. Plus there's Optimus Prime, too. Don't forget about Scruff McGruff, either, or Indiana Jones or Jackie Chan or The Care Bears? Not Chuck Norris though, he'd be dead in an instant.

But like. Let's also not forget Gandalf the Grey, Gandalf the White, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan.

Wouldn't you say they all had a pretty good chance of surviving Infested?

[unknownprinciples]

..... I need to see tfa optimus prime in a cowboy hat

[pinkanonwrites]

“ASK ME ABOUT BUMBLEBEE IN MY ASK BOX I LITERALLY NEVER GET SICK OF HIM” hi sorry. ive had a crush on that guy for like 18 years now he makes me fucking crazy. talk about him as much as you want pretty please

YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY! Thank you so much anon, I'll gladly indulge.

I don't think there's been a single iteration of Bumblebee I didn't at least kind of like. There's definitely a few iterations of him that stand out to me though! I really, really like the direction they took Bumblebee in Earthspark, an unprepared mentor who's still a little immature, but has it WAY more put-together than the Terrans he's always surrounded with. He thinks he's in over his head and there's no way he could be a teacher, but by the end of Season 1 he's proven himself to be an incredible leader, teacher, and fun uncle figure.

Also, potentially controversial opinion, I really enjoy RID 2015 Bumblebee. It's definitely not the best Transformers series, and personally I think it would have been a lot more well-received if it wasn't pitched as a sequel to Transformers Prime and instead got to stand alone as its own thing. But seeing Bumblebee trying to be a serious leader with his goofball team only makes it more adorable when the geeky moments slip through, like his love of cowboys or the Bumblebee babysitting episode. Prime Bee and RID 2015 Bee definitely don't feel like the same character to me, but I'm able to separate them enough that I enjoy each of their merits.

But my humble opinions on various Bumblebees aren't the main reason we're here, is it? No, the main reason is for me to write all my personal little valveplug headcanons for y'all to enjoy and peruse!

NSFW BELOW THE CUT!

I think just about every version of Bee would be incredibly possessive over his partner. Though he's usually a fun, plucky, charming bot, he's got a lot of inferiority complexes and that manifests in him absolutely NOT wanting to share. Some Bees are more flexible than other Bees, but all versions of Bee love it best when your attention is on him. The only one that I can see being willing to share his partner on a 'more than once' basis would be Cyberverse Bee, and even then only with someone he felt equally comfortable with like Cheetor or Hot Rod.

Bee is also incredibly tactile, he loves skin-to-metal contact. If he had no shame and no scruples he'd carry you around in his servos or on his shoulder wherever he went. Bayverse, Knightverse, Cyberverse, and Animated Bumblebee are all very grabby and affectionate in public, while Prime, RID 2015, and Earthspark Bee save their touching and fondling for more private places. Really, the first group just get too excited when they see you, while the second group is worried about embarrassing you AND themselves.

He usually prefers to be the one doing the spiking, but that's partially because of the aforementioned inferiority complex. Get your hands and mouth on his sensitive little valve and you'll have a puddle of mech all for you to play with.

Very messy and very enthusiastic kisser. Even when he's trying to hold back and take it slow his processor is just a fog of pleasure and he can't help but practically devour you. Same thing if he's eating you out, he gets completely and utterly drunk on you.

LOT of transfluid for a minibot, and despite his better efforts the two of you usually end up pretty messy. If it's an accident he'll be very sheepish and apologetic, but if you asked for it he'll fully revel in seeing you covered and slick with his fluids. Actually, probably a lot of fluids in general if we cycle back on that kissing one. He's just a messy bot.~

And I talked about this a little in my tickling posts, but I'll indulge myself a little more. Like Optimus, I think Bumblebee enjoys being tickled but struggles to voice that or ask for it because he's worried it'll reflect poorly on him, like he won't be taken seriously if he lets himself indulge. The inner lining of his door wings is super sensitive, even just trailing your fingers up and down the length of the rubber window seal will have him squirming. As for the inverse, Bumblebee absolutely loves to tickle you, and would gladly do it whenever you ask. You're so, so much smaller than he is: softer, squishier, more vulnerable. It both turns him on and tugs at his heartstrings that you trust him enough to let him manhandle you like that, pin you down and push you to your absolute limits until you're wriggling and gasping and squealing with laughter. Cyberverse and Knightverse Bees are the biggest ticklers, while Animated and Earthspark Bees are the biggest ticklees.

(If you have any more questions about my particular headcanons on specific iterations of Bumblebee, please please please send an ask! I can answer well and enthusiastically for just about every Bee, save for IDW and Prime.)

[robby-bobby-tommy]

As it is obvious from my blog, I adore TFP. It is the first Transformers show I've watched (I remember watching tf content before, yet i can't remember which it was). Yet as always, I have some criticism even to my most beloved things and now I want to talk about one of these. And the name to him is Dreadwing.

Dreadwing is particularly interesting cuz he seems like one sane person in the whole Nemesis, who is undeniably loyal to the cause. Something that even Megatron isn't anymore. Dreadwing is a great example of what the decepticon should be. Fierce, strong, yet smart, noble, loyal and respectful to his own team. And this is an interesting since we've never seen this before, cuz everyone else on Nemesis strayed from this path and just using this cause as a way of manipulation. And still Dreadwing was most loyal to Megatron, with the only thing standing between him and total obedience is his love for his late brother (Skyquake, hun, sorry, but I literally forgot abt you the moment you died).

And this is a great start, but all this potential was, at least for me, wasted.

Firstly. His position which he came in the show. He was presented to us as a) a threat; b) Wheeljack's enemy/rival. And that's when my first problem starts here. Let's look at the statistics.

Optimus prime — Megatron

Ratchet — KO (or Shockwave)

Bumblebee — KO

Bulkhead — Breakdown

Arcee — Arachnid

Smokescreen — KO (why does he have a beef with every child in the group?)

Ultra Magnus — Predaking

And then Wheeljack is like — ?????

And yeah, I am upset abt lack of Wheeljack in TFP, but it's relevant to my Dreadwing rant, since all the others I've mentioned has met at least once/twice and had some resolution to their rivalry (even though not the good one), but cowboy loose cannon and a flying samurai never even mention each other after their episode. It is cuz Wheeljack really likes to disappear from the plot for Primus knows how long, while this Seeker stays through all the season 2 until my greatest disappointment came.

Secondly, Dreadwing's death is the dumbest scrap I've seen and looks like a very rude way to get rid of character. I still have no idea of why Megan chose Starscream over someone who's loyal to you to the point of disobeying to save ur tailpipe! And don't start the 'but DW disobeyed him', WING BOY WAS PROMOTED FOR IT.

Furthermore, from the moment I saw him even if I thought DW was to die, I considered it would happen in a battle with Wheeljack. It would be so interesting to see a death match between two guys, madly loyal to their friends/family/team. But nahh, Jackie never tries to go after winged edgelord ever again and never even ask if he's up to rematch.

(Also, funny how Dreadwing is so mad at SS for bringing Skyquake back to life as a zombie, but not at Bee and OP for literally killing him..... Priorities, huh.. Just another scrap u to Starscream for no reason.)

[greeneyedsigma]

Male characters Sigma finds attractive for whatever reason in a few fandoms:

One Piece

King the Wildfire (Pretty + Vicious + big boy)

Charlotte Katakuri (Good big brother + orc teeth + big boy)

Crocodile (James Bond Villain Vibes + big boy)

Sakazuki (Pissed off grumpy + potentially tragic background + daddy vibes + big boy

Transformers

Megatron (Super Villain + Fallen Knight Vibes + Grumpy Old Man energy + big boy)

Optimus Prime (Just Knight + Tired Dad + Daddy Vibes + big boy)

Ultra Magnus (Exhausted + Done with your immature shit + ‘Kind of needs a hug’ vibes + big boy)

Red Dead Redemption 2

Arthur Morgan ( ‘Life insists on fucking me and I don’t know the safeword’ + sad cowboy + secretly soft AF + big boy)

Norse Mythology

Odin (Not even trying to hide the he’s an asshole + big dick energy + big boy)

[transingthoseformers]

cannit believe it took me so long to think about it from that one post about Ironhide needing to be railed or he will bust something/ironhide getting railed by optimus crack comcept

what if and just hear me out what if...

Optimus AND Ratchet rail him?

Prime sturdy and party Ambulance railing the cowboy.

them doing the do in either the office of the prime or somewhere amd EVERYONE knows.... due to unfortunate circumstances (they heard the truck horns and ambulance sirens they KNOW-)

Welp... at least Ironhide got some of the... "stress" out... and won't be available for the next 5 consecutive business days.

Prowl is unamused by this and is one step away from committing mutiny from these horny fucks

YES lmao prowl sorry not sorry

Win ironhide winnn

[fire-feather-flies]

Old Godzilla was hopping around

Tokyo City like a big playground

When suddenly Batman burst from the shade

And hit Godzilla with a Batgrenade

Godzilla got pissed and began to attack

But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq

Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-Fu

When Aaron Carter came out of the blue

And he started beating up Shaquille O'Neal

Then they both got flattened by the Batmobile

But before it could make it back to the Batcave

Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave

And took an AK-47 out from under his hat

And blew Batman away with a rat-a-tat-tat

But he ran out of bullets and he ran away

Because Optimus Prime came to save the day

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see

And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

Godzilla took a bite out of Optimus Prime

Like Scruff McGruff took a bite out of crime

And then Shaq came back covered in a tire track

But Jackie Chan jumped out and landed on his back

And Batman was injured, and trying to get steady

When Abraham Lincoln came back with a machete

But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped

Indiana Jones took him out with his whip

Then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind

And he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find

'Cause Batman stole it and he shot and he missed

And Jackie Chan deflected it with his fist

Then he jumped in the air and did a somersault

While Abraham Lincoln tried to pole vault

Onto Optimus Prime, but they collided in the air

Then they both got hit by a Care Bear stare

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see

And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be

This is the ultimate showdown

Angels sang out an immaculate chorus

Down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris

Who delivered a kick which could shatter bones

Into the crotch of Indiana Jones

Who fell over on the ground, writhing in pain

As Batman changed back into Bruce Wayne

But Chuck saw through his clever disguise

And he crushed Batman's head in between his thighs

Then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White

And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight

And Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie

And Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie

Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader

Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger

Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan

Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan

All came out of nowhere lightning fast

And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass

It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw

With civilians looking on in total awe

The fight raged on for a century

Many lives were claimed, but eventually

The champion stood, the rest saw their better

Mr. Rogers in a bloodstained sweater

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see

And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be

This is the ultimate showdown

(The ultimate showdown)

This is the ultimate showdown

(The ultimate showdown)

This is the ultimate showdown

Of ultimate destiny

here comes rodger

[benadrylcandlewhack]

Alright I'm trying to get back into the swing of things with TFR so I wrote a quick plot synopsis to hopefully get people intrigued

After a takeoff mishap, a small group of Autobot Resistance members led by Optimus Prime and Elita-1 make a desperate escape from Cybertron as Autobot HQ is attacked by Decepticons. After being chased through space by the Decepticons, they all take to escape pods and crash on Earth in the year 1899, with the exception of Wheeljack, who stayed behind on the Ark to hopefully land it. Over 120 years later, a lonely and socially inept teenage girl named Sadie Monroe, who has a passion for animals and cowboys, discovers the ruined Ark lodged in the mountain behind her new house with her mother in rural Ontario. What she finds in the crashed ship, or rather *who* she finds in the ship, proceeds to change her life forever, as she now finds herself in the middle of an alien conflict, trying to help reunite the scattered Autobots, and forging a friendship like no other