#could not be me. night tho? yeah.
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*points* him, that guy. bastard.
pretty sure the only reason why he hasn't done anything too malicious is because it will make Candy ( pink & purple girlie ) sad,,,
other that he's free to cause shenanigans <3
#🧁 | cupcakes#🍰 | shortcakes#childhood friends fr...#imagine being so enamored by that one person who approached you on a snowy evening that you've decided to follow her to the ends of the eart#h#could not be me. night tho? yeah.#awkward bastard who can probably... ruin everyone's lives...#I LOVE HIM SO MCUH#i wanna draw Skulli next >.>#was gonna draw his covered eye as fucked but... him being emo is funnier
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What keeps me together?
#sonic fanart#sth#infidget#rookinite#infinite the jackal#gadget the wolf#sonic au#minturts#yeah my main play around AU Infinite has a good ol bit of Phantom Ruby Shardses impaled into his chest don't worry about it tho#now yall know why his scar is neon pink/purple/red??? when I draw him! yep#some day maybe I will draw more context#in like a comic or something..? we shall see#“What keeps me together?” Love of course.#posting art at 6am that I stayed up all night drawing because I could NoT get the COLORS RIGHT-
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Slight spoilers for into the pit.
Okay so we all agree the 5 balloons we pop in the hat minigame are representative of the missing children.
They're colored like the main 4 animatronics (except for foxy, maybe because they already used red for the other set of balloons pink is close enough) and not like the other balloons seen in the main minigame and happiest day section.
(balloons in main minigame and party room).
In general, that whole minigame has big MCI vibes. 5 hats to collect (thinking off, aren't they also a bit arranged like the Give Gifts Give Life minigame? see below), obvious happiest day ref, the 5 balloons we pop in the colors of the animatronics, BB's air adventure was part of the original minigames that set the children free. Heck, the ourple man himself is in there.
Really what throws me for a loop is the sixth hat. (Which, if it really is another missing child we didn't know about in that group, the 6/5 makes sense here).
(Collect the hats and give gifts give life comparison. Because BB's air adventure looks nothing like this).
Why is it four balloons instead of five? Probably cause of subtlety and how it looks or something, idk. I still find it recognisable enough.
Am I making sense? Am I just being insane? I don't know. Just wanting to post. Let me share my thoughts.
#sammy rambles#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#hey only one tag is showing up for me congrats#fnaf into the pit#into the pit#fnaf itp#into the pit spoilers#fnaf into the pit spoilers#fnaf rambles#fnaf theory#could it be called that?#idk i'm just talking#don't know how to tag this#fnaf mci#fnaf missing children#fnaf missing kids#yeah that tag also works#not gonna tag it under balloon boy tho#anyways a winner is me for not having to tag fnaf 3 times because of the s in freddy's#yippee!
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larry's tag about kurokara looking back on going around the summer festival together and realizing it was basically a date is making me chuckle bc it wouldn't be the only instance of kuroba inviting karamatsu out on what's essentially a date before they're a couple ( not even during that summer. )
#after the yokohama beach trip shenanigans they're casually like#'' hey actually i'm going to this english rose garden before heading back to tokyo tomorrow do you wanna come? ->#you can stay the night at my parent's i'm sure they wouldn't mind & i'm sure ochoujii would love to see you. :) ''#and then they wonder why the rest of their family repeatedly questions if they're dating that night#LIKE. BUD. COME ON.#they get a partial free pass bc the autism + demi combo makes realizing romantic feelings hard to notice in the moment#<- speaking from experience#but also. god damn.#later on when they tell erika about how they have feelings for kara she goes '' eXCUSE ME YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY??? ''#the matsuno side of this is very funny too bc they all immediately recognize it as a date and tell kara to fuck off when he accepts to go#like yeah whatever go frolic through the gardens together TRAITOR we hope you poke your finger on a thorn & sleep for a thousand years#kara realizes it could be a date too but he's kinda accepted that kuro doesn't mean anything romantic by it#he loves hanging out with them and he does love roses too so why would he refuse?#his ass would 100% be running through 500 different romantic daydreams between them the entire time tho#kurokara makes me sick i can't sTAND THEM 😭 /pos#hopefully this makes sense bc i'm about to pass out#ship : kurokara#mj rambles
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I've been an absolute emotional wreck since last night due to my narcissist father making me feel less than human so can i..........ask for some reassurance that i'm not an absolute failure of a human being
or pictures of your cats, that would help a lot too
#its been months of dealing with his abuse and last night it left me feeling worse than ever and i am just#really exhausted and mentally broken rn#and i hate asking for reassurance because I always feel like a bother and I should just deal with shit myself until it passes#but when i say last night was bad it was bad and i feel like i am not even meant to be alive that is how that man made me feel#so i just wanna be selfish this one time#and ask for spare kindness because i could really use it right now because my feelings arent going away#no matter how hard im trying to distract myself today and i dont have the strenght to stay like this for a week or more#so yeah#gomen for rambling in the tags im just really#idfk embarrassed and ashamed i dont like asking for help i feel dumb even tho i know its not dumb but yeah#txt
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Me: no really if you missed even one birth control pill you better double check you aren't pregnant.
#can you feel that thick rod begging for entrance#back and forth back and forth across your lips finding the perfect angle of entry#his adidas interfere but his cock is pre'ing let me in#🤔 honey we were never “just friends” it was always way more than that#her & her i like to turn you on baby#when heaven is out on the street with the heat of the the night#It's fine we fuck and I feel better#don't you feel like an owned object when anyone says the magical ownership of All Hallow's Eve though#like you just want to be owned and have attention paid to you#and I can give that to you....we can give that to you#emotional attachment to a chick version of myself? oh I could see that#like she will think my drug use was nothing in comparison I reckon#me: *nods* so she likes ice though huh....yeah I can see that being a thing#you have a few nieces I guess.... 🤔 well a few full ones anyway#a few who have way too much of the other half of us#she's like i smoke because I like it when i smoke#and I'm like oh ok yaaaaaas hypnotize me#when I click those videos I know what I am signing up for#just stare at you for a few minutes no words#yes please do say words to me though let's see how 27 years of hearing have done you.#well we both have the same life path number it's ridiculous to discuss between us#and she's like.....can i play with your 2 2#your destiny is facing and conquering that sexy fear of 7#mine is 7 children I guess*gulp.... fuck*#and two twins for her#his and mine#mine is a freak tho......#here I was in 2014 finally spilling my guts over what you had accused me of to her years ago#except it was like all lowkey and shit as far as the external world knew#...we knew tho.....we knew
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dear gods i adore horror tbh but i am way too sensitive to it
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#idk how to describe 'sensitive' rn i'm dying in the head i should be asleep but Man!!!!!#i search up tons of horror stuff for funsies. movies uhh creepypastas stories real life events etc. fun!#BUT it freaks me out wayyy too much. bcs i really don't deal well w Those feelings of paranoia.#my imagination too good i was scared at night going to sleep bcs i'd imagine what to do if an intruder came in from the bedroom door#or bathroom door and think of how i'd escape Death.........#Did Not Help my area before was kinda yk. chillax. chillax meaning grassy tree-sy backyard overgrown trees#old-ish in a filipino chill neighborhood that isn't very fancy ?????? idk.#and the fact one time my dad almost died and someone standing close to him Did die so. haha. traumatized from that.#I WASN'T THERE..... but i rmbr my dad coming home and the news absolutely terrified me. anyway!#wow... rambling on tumblr at 3 and a half am... Nostalgic.#anyway yeah i love love love horror stuff but i am !!! so bad w them !!! like jesus christ i adore resident evil and bloodborne#is my whole bloodline. or something. but i can't even watch my twin kill 1 zombie in a re game Demo (she can't do it either)#and i can only make it to killing the first monster in bloodborne and explore a tiny bit where there are still no enemies. god.#AAAGGGGHHHhhhh ... and the first point of horror in omori then i stop playing for months...... even tho i rlly wna play more :((#2024 ........ cmon... i will try to overcome my fears more.#i've improved somewhat at least! ...from when i was younger. like. man. i could never stay in night-time in games ever.#ffxv? nah i always have to travel at morning. only when i got strong enough that daemons were nothing to me did i stop#getting scared. ouuughhh... and i always try to be stealthy in games........... for many reasons ofc but 1. Scared#okay i shut up now. apollo rambles of tonight: done and over!
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oh also someone who is a good friend but we don't really talk too much, clocked me as someone who would be into choking. it was fucking funny as hell
#they were right#which is the funniest part becuase HOW AND WHY DO YOU KNOW THAT#same person who was MAYBE hitting on me#like this person and another friend were talking about rings and they gave their ring to the friend to try out and they were#admiring their and hand stuff and said to him that 'someone could choke you with this' and he told them#'tell that to lish she'll say she'd be into it' and i wasnt paying attention to this conversation right and they#laughed and came up to me to say that and i literally replied with a smirk like 'i'd be into it'#and both of them laughed and told me what the previous conversation was#and like SJFBSK#ueah#also we had like two cakes on the table. tiramisu and chocolate and we did this thing last time we hung out at a bakery and got cakes where#we took like half a spoon of the cheesecake and half of a brownie and had it together and it was good#so this person did the same things with todays cakes and when i asked them how it was they said it was good and i should try it#and while he was preparing a bite for me with both cakes he just went#did you know that both tiramisu and chocolate are aphrodisiacs#and i was mentally just like JSBFKSBDK???? KDBSK kinda fucking flustered as shit#and i said woah really? and then i took the spoon they prepared.#and yeag#earlier they also like shifted to sit closer to me but then that might be because of the food#and they also asked me whether ive been with anyone in uni but that conversation got cut short becuase of soemthing else#happening at the table#but yeah.#i THINK they might be flirting with me but i might also be reading this all wrong#they dropped me back off to the apartment tho but then again thats becuase we live in the same building#yeag#fun night fr actually#suggestive#cw suggestive
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Halloween costume hint:
(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)
#i make no guarantees of finishing in time for halloween tho im going thru a lot rn#i DID finish a second pair of Scream yarn socks today tho!!#i just wanted to give my fingers a little break from knitting socks but i have other halloween sock yarn i plan on working on#(november is halloween 2 for me)#but yeah i saw a sample of yarn using this type of seamless cast on (provisional cast on / circular tubular cast on) last night...#...while half asleep and was immediately like Oh. I HAVE to do that costume idea now.#i flubbed the crochet part bc the way i did it made the stitches twisted when i knitted it...#...and i had to pull out every crochet stitch one by one. lol. but at least i know for next time how i gotta crochet it to be open stitches#also i knit backwards (mirrored) so i was surprised i managed to figure out the tutorial on the first go...#...bc the person filming described their actions instead of just showing it so i only needed to listen. it makes a world of difference to me#anyway. now that i got that started i have been shaking in pain all day i gotta try n shower before it gets too late#apparently my new back xrays show that my back does have an issue. but not on the spot thats hurting lmao.#so i get to do an mri and see a back specialist ughhh. also the pharmacy is refusing to fill pain meds for me. it sucks.#AND i finally got a physical therapy appointment.... for the middle of december.... guys i injured my back and#....have been trying to get in to PT since fucking MAY. its OCTOBER.#like fuck my life man i can barely fucking walk. i can barely take care of myself. the pain had been SO bad since i recently reinjured it#so yeah i gotta try n shower before i pass out from the pain.#knitting#Cori.exe#Image.exe#fiber art#horror#halloween#also like this yarn is the closest i could get to colour accuracy that i have in my yarn bin and i only have 1 skein of it which is perfect#bc it means i get to use up probably the whole skein and it makes a difference in the amount of yarn i need to use out of my bin lol#especially bc what other use am i ever going to get out of one skein of yarn? nothing but socks take one skein.#my worst yarn habit is seeing a cool yarn and then buying just one or two skeins. like thats fine for a hat or scarf...#...but i need to learn to knit and crochet more things. id like to make a sweater at least once in my life lmao#((sweater yarn gets so expensive tho bc u need so much. and we're back to me wanting to reduce my yarn stash))#personal
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english prof just left LOADS of feedback on my essay omg this is so exciting
#personal#the english chronicles#FINALLY!!!!!!!! someone who doesn’t just slap an a on it and call it a day#most of it is picking at me for passive voice use and my really shitty conclusion paragraph BAHAHA we were limited to 3 pages#and i was really struggling to cut it down bc. the prompt i chose involved 7 different concepts like give examples of these concepts in this#short story but i also had to Define and Explain the concepts and then there was also the intro and conclusion and header block and it’s#double spaced like 3 pages is rlly not enough for this prompt if you want to give a genuine critical analysis. so my conclusion was#extremely short and shallow lmfao but yeah. he also left lots of praise 😌 AND! he left audio recording for everyone?? like damn okay you are#a prof who genuinely wants to see his students improve thank you thank you thank you 🙏🏻 yes i only got a 90 which i think is the lowest ive#ever gotten on an essay but idc my respect for him just Shot up. also only four of us got A-range grades so i still feel p okay abt that#and i started the essay night of so all things considered this could have gone worse lol#also i got the top score on the exam last week so still riding that high (i needed the ego boost so bad guys 💀) but anyway. i think he’s#retiring after this semester tho this is so tragic he’s also just a rlly fun nice guy in class too like i would 100% take him again#but yeah. i will concede that i fall into passive voice a lot without realizing it so glad he said smth abt it i will be more mindful 🫡#also i guess i did a couple page citations incorrectly it has been a minute since i touched mla and i thought you could either segue into a#page citation like on so and so page they say this OR do parenthetical in-text citation at the end of a quote but he only wants the#parenthetical type ever. not sure if this is a flat rule of mla or just teacher preference i will b looking into this#edit okay looks like flat rule for mla. my bad 🙈 i only did the segue thing twice instead of the parenthetical citation thankfully
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i need eddie to get another guy friend in season 8, and buck loses his shit about it (again), so he breaks up with t because he's convinced that the weird feeling he gets when he sees them together is because he is Really attracted to the new guy.
#like things with t are fine cuz he likes exploring this new side of himself even if t doesnt always match his energy but whatever its fun#and maybe at work chim is the one who brings up eddies new friend and he is immediately just. what new friend?#chim laughs and says. tbf last time eddie got a new friend you attacked him so you could date his friend. hes probably keeping it to himsel#and bucks like. dude what. that was. yeah it was shitty of me but it was a one time thing. i wont do it again...#and when eddie shows up for shift buck immediately asks about his new friend and eddie tells him about the guy without hesitation#after shift tho buck is like. why didnt you tell me about him? after t i get why you dont want to but im just. you dont have to worry man.#buck. i know. im not worried. anyway he and i are gonna head to a bar to catch the game. you want to come with? you can bring t if hes free#oh. thats. thatd be okay? i dont want to idk ruin the vibe by bringing a date#nah man. itll be fine#and so he and t go to the bar and eddies already inside with the new friend and its Fine. its Great actually because t gets along with eddi#and the new guy and the new guy makes eddie laugh and doesnt miss a beat and knows more about the teams record this season than buck and#buck is doing Fine. this guys smile is big and his eyes are bright and when he laughs he sorta leans into eddies space alittle and its Fine#the night ends and buck and t go back to his apartment and buck cant stop thinking about that guys hand when it clapped down on eddies#shoulder or the look on his face as he teased eddie about the beer he drinks (cuz its kinda bad but only buck can say that) and buck Cant.#he wants that guy. he wants his hands and grin and teasing voice all to himself and not on eddie.#so he breaks up with t and ts confused af cuz i thought things were going good?#yeah. i just. i want to explore my options yk now that ive uh figured out i like men.#and its a clean break. not dramatic or messy. t tells him to call if he every changes his mind. buck wont.#bucks trying to not pry about eddies new friend and he doesnt grill eddie or anyone and just waits and listens to all the new info he gains#and eventually eddie invites him out to watch another game because whatever team they were watching made it to the playoffs#and when he gets there eddies like. no t tonight?#nah we. uh. we broke up.#eddie says sorry man that sucks. and the new guy is like. honestly he didnt even seem that into you which what an idiot. youre great.#and its good because the new guy splits his attention between the two of them now. eddie isnt the only one getting hands and grins and eyes#and the third time theyre at the bar the guy follows him to bathroom and kisses him hard against the door before pulling back with a#panicked sorry and leaving and when buck finds eddie after hes like. what happened? new guy ran out of here without even saying goodbye#he kissed me in the bathroom. i think uh. i think he was kinda freaking out about it and thats why he left.#and eddie just blinks at him before being like. buck. buck you said you werent going to do this again.#i didnt mean to! and buck means it. he just saw the way that guy made eddie laugh and put his hands on eddie and had eddies attention and#oh.
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i feel kinda crazy bc whenever i was a teenager i created this sorta imaginary older big sister who had moved out of the house so in my head i could live w her whenever i wanted bc she had survived it all and was independent and she would also just comfort me in a big sisterly way whenever something bad or upsetting happened and recently ive been going back to that at my big age 😭 and its kinda sad and also just wish fulfillment and also kinda scary bc i really used to think that by my age i'd have everything sorted but i really don't and i know that's normal and nobodies twenties are perfect but some people also have good relationships w their fathers which is crazy just to think about sooo
#is this readable? i hope not ❤️#i typed up some of my feelings about this in a word doc and just realised like damn i basically have an imaginary friend as an adult#i really am crazy lol#i just feel lonely within my family atm. bc my brother is younger than me so he could never really do anything to help#and i feel like i cant really trust my mam the same anymore..even tho i still love her a lot#and i'm trying to improve my relationship w my dad bc im realising what a hard life he had and that he's not like an irredeemable Bad Perso#and sometimes he'll look at me a certain way or apologise for something small that he would never have apologised for a couple of years ago#and i feel like im going crazy like is he becoming a better person or..? and i feel bad bc im not really doing the same#or maybe i am. sometimes i think im unfair to him considering how he is now but i also cant really reconcile what he is now w/ how he#was then. and then he'll suddenly say something to me in a certain tone of voice or with a certain sharpness and i'll go back to how a felt#as a teenager :/ i rlly dont know what to do about it but i think its because i dont really have anyone to talk to about it#i mean i sort of do. but i also dont actually know how much of it actually happened and how much of it i just made up#but having worked w teenagers yeah they can be little shits but i also cant imagine treating any of them the way my dad treated me#just bc theyre annoying or have an attitude or are a little mean or whatever#like theres actually a lot of ppl i could talk to but also how do you even bring something like this up#how do i say 'oh and i invented an older sister as a coping mechanism and sometimes i still talk to her in my head' without sounding crazy#its 2am here i need to go to bed i have work in the morning 😭 day and night and next day ruined bc my dad spoke to me slightly funny
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Gencon is very busy...!!!
Ummmmm highlights of the day..!!!
I maybe bought 4 Naruto figurines. Thankfully not individually expensive (though perhaps a little expensive all together...) see I wanted Sasuke but I also wanted Kakashi and I couldn't have Sasuke without Naruto and well it would feel wrong to have the 3 of them without Sakura and so I somehow. Got all 4. Haha. I'll most likely post pics later, whenever I end up opening them. I'm still at the convention center rn lol
(Putting the rest of this under a cut bc it got a little long lol)
I was on the field of the Lucas Oil Stadium, aka the stadium that the Indianapolis Colts play at. I've attended all of One game here (not professional football, it was a high school game lol) so I've felt the size of it, but it's still fucking crazy being on the field. It's so BIG...... and obviously they've got the grass covered rn, but it's still pretty cool!!!
I maaaade dice!!! Pretty precise process it seems, & definitely would require a Lot of work (after the sanding and the painting etc etc). I do still wanna get into it, but if I wanted to spring for stuff like the vacuum chamber or the pressure pot...
Yeah, it'd get expensive. Add in the fact that I don't have a good place to do this away from the cats & it really is not feasible to start rn. But!!! Eventually!!!! I think I'd really enjoy it. I just need a dedicated workshop space where I can spread out without worrying about poisoning my cats lol.
Here's some cool game set stuff I saw in the event hall. This picture is maybe... hm... a fourth of the event hall? And then when you consider that the vender hall (connected to the event hall, though it's closed right now) is maybe 1.5 times as big as the event hall?? Give or take a little...
Aka just imagine booths upon booths upon booths... I'm gonna have to take a pic of it tomorrow. I was there too briefly to think about taking a pic. Honestly I maybe managed to get through like a tenth of the whole vender hall in an hour of wandering. It's fucking huge. And So Many Dice... I bought one set of 14 (I think it was) dice. Aka an extended set. And then I got a random set bag of dice (just a basic 7). And then a d20 with a cat on it. And a dice of LETTERS. Aka I guess a d26 (I totally did not have to double check that there were 26 letters in the alphabet)(I have 702k words written & posted to ao3)(😂😂😂 I'm very tired) but with letters instead of numbers. And it's glow in the dark!!! And I found some hxh buttons, and a mighty nein poster, and uhmmmm. A cute lanyard. And that's all I bought. Which really is such restraint for me. (Omfg I just saw a dragon cosplay)(someone just dressed as a dragon)
OH YEAH I saw a fucking. Persona 5 Ryuji cosplay. Hanging out with the biker lady from Durarara. Featuring the Ryuji holding her scythe hfksbfmd which was such a funny image. I was too shy to ask for a pic but just trust 🙏 i saw this
Anyways yeah the only real big thing I bought is the naruto figurines. I'll show pics later once I got the stuff again (I dropped it all off in the car earlier)
Omfg literally as I've been sitting here (on a bench at the side of a main hallway) someone stopped by and gave me a handmade bracelet !!!
DND's 50th anniversary!!! So cute!!!!
#speculation nation#not Too much anime stuff. tho i clearly found some stuff. no trigun yet unfortunately 😔#which i already walked thru the artist area (as much as i could)(i was getting a little stressed by how crowded it was)#so idk maybe i missed a booth or smth but it'd definitely be less likely to see elsewhere in the vender's hall#but WHO KNOWS it's a wonderful massive world in there.#im actually sitting outside it rn and staring longingly at the closed doors. tomorrow... i will be able to Actually peruse it more...#and i will quite possibly wear some ear plugs next time bcus i was getting Stressed Out!!! overstimulated!!!!#pulled in a million different directions!!!!! aaaaaaa!!!!#anyways yeah my events are all done for the night. just kinda hanging out now waiting for my sister's game to be done.#gonna collapse into bed as soon as we get back. so i should probably eat some more.#i had an overpriced and underwhelming sandwich. but there is pizza somewhere. maybe i should eat pizza.#i actually... still have the keys lol. from when i dropped the stuff off at the car earlier.#which is weird. I have the ticket to home with me. but i still wait. bc it would be a dick move to leave with them lol#and also. while i Can drive. i do not have my license. so that would be. a bad. idea.#my shoulders Huuuuurt but thankfully i dont have any combat classes tomorrow#hurting shoulders is more just from my bag bc my shoulders fucking suck. but it makes me glad i can rest more tomorrow.#oh yeah i did the sword knife and longsword today. might get bruises from that knife one. it was very focused on parrying#swords. swords. swords. swords. the longsword class made me really want to own a longsword. i dont own one. yet.#i could. i could. i could. sometime. eventually. i want a longsword. i think i technically just own uhmmm um um#a rapier? a machete? a uh. i dont know what that cheap anime convention sword is actually. OH YEA AND CANE SWORD#no longsword though. i really want to own a katana too. someday i'll own both. someday.#real swords are unfortunatelly really expensive. thats why i only have uh. uh. uhhh. oh yeah i do have those 2 swords from mountains trip#i dont really know what those are either. you know i really should know what bladed weapons i own. i dont though.#i own cool swords and knives bc oooh fun pointy things! wheeeeee!!!#i'll study up on it later. lol.#anyways i guess i should go look for more food. i have rambled enough. bye!
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I hope to Heavenly Father and all that is Holy that the secret FNaF game collab planned for August 6th is with Fortnite.
#I am not beating the Mormon allegations#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#Fortnite#my sister is such a fucking idiot she was like ‘It would have to be in a battle pass’ like she didn’t know you could just buy skins?#it might be the battle pass tho#also she tried to trick me yesterday by saying ‘Yeah I opened Fortnite and Springtrap was a skin’#she underestimates my intelligence and knowledge greatly#she’s also very confident that ‘the people on your Tumblr love me’#this is true she thinks she’s like a character on my account#just bc whenever she says something stupid I say ‘I’m telling the masses’ and then text my friends but I think she believes I put it here#I should have fed her to Chuck E. Cheese
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Okok before I try to go to bed I'm curious but um. Are my favorite test characters so far predictable.. like was it expected that they're my favorites......
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#Idk guys I'm just wondering#I keep thinking abt how a lot of ppl actually hate Crowley too HAHA#maybe when I'm further into twst I can explain why I like him but to summarize without explaining#why ppl (specifically referring to ferris' comment on devils post) don't like him is why I personally like him#I could so yap abt this but my opinion could definitely change so I won't rn#unless you guys want me to.. then I will#either now or in the morning tho is smth else if ppl actually want me to explain why I like Crowley before I get further into the story#like idk unless he does smth absolutely DESPICABLE (which might happen idk)#I don't think I'll ever hate him if that makes sense?#like idk I can't ever hate characters#just have a mild dislike that kinda fades out most of the time#good examples of that would be Jade and Sparkle from hsr#which I can't rlly explain Jade bc I still do have that mild dislike for her#but Sparkle is just like#there. idk#anyways yap fest over for the night guys#now I feel awkward liking Crowley tho lol#like hi guys.. yeah.....
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going to a comedy open mic tomorrow mostly to watch my friends (it's at a cool venue that my improv troupe performs at once a month and a few improv troupe friends are doing standup there) but when these friends were asking if i'd be interested in coming they were like "btw there's usually a ton of open spots on show days if YOU want to do something... and they're not strict about it only being standup either, people have done character pieces and sketches etc like they embrace the weirdness... and they're not strict about time limits you could probably do anything between three and eight minutes... sometimes if there's not enough people signed up they'll even let you go twice..." and i'm like god damn it i thought i was gonna take a break from aubrey but this setup is like tailor made for an aubrey appearance lmao
#still on the fence about it bc the burnout i experienced at the beginning of may extended to aubrey#especially bc so much of my aubrey stuff is comedy about gender and my brain was more in ''set everything on fire'' mode#and i think i've gotten to a good place with that burnout but i still haven't worked on any aubrey stuff since i got home from college#but even still even tho my mental health is better than it was a few weeks ago#recently i have had this horrible insomnia where i haven't been able to fall asleep at night in over a week#(i've made up for it with naps but still i am not mentally 100% rn. i've tried so many things and nothing has worked.)#so that's my justification for *not* doing aubrey tomorrow. however.#i reeeally need to get more performance experience bc there's only so much you can develop a sketch character without performing them#and this venue is so good. it's an art gallery like an hour away that's designed to be part gallery and part performance venue#especially for comedy. like the venue owner is this veteran comedian who used to work with bobcat goldthwait and a lot of other big names#and it's a low-pressure environment bc everyone there has seen me do comedy before with my improv troupe#but they still haven't seen me do aubrey at all so it's bringing a new side of my comedy to some of my main collaborators#like this is so much better than my previous aubrey performances bc they were all either#1. shows in CLASSROOMS with a bunch of my classmates who generally don't get my comedy (very clique-ish)#or 2. a guest spot on a show at a coffee shop where everyone knew each other except me#plus the biggest thing for me is the lack of a strict time limit. like as much as having a good 3-minute monologue can be#i think aubrey is a character you need to get to know a bit longer than 3 minutes. and a lot of my stuff is long while also being very tigh#like not every monologue is like this but my best aubrey monologues are almost like aubrey is telling you a sitcom storyline#and removing too many lines makes the whole narrative jenga tower fall over#and as much as i want to figure out how to make every monologue a good starting point#having the chance to perform multiple monologues if i get to go twice so that they can build off each other would be perfect#idk i'm not sure how often the open mics are there. at least monthly tho i might be missing next month's depending on when i'm in toronto#so like this wouldn't really be my only chance. but yeah i'm on the fence about whether to bring aubrey back for a performance tomorrow#i probably wouldn't do new material. i'd do the 5 minute version of my uncle reg monologue bc it's the one that's worked best so far#and if i get to do multiple. maybe i'd do the ''nom de plum'' monologue bc i think it's also very strong#and it has a good callback to uncle reg#but idk i also think doing the song would be very fun and on-theme since it's pride month and the song is a satire of rainbow capitalism#tho i'd probably have to rework the monologue that leads into the song bc even tho i loved the concept i don't think i articulated it well#or i could write an entirely different lead-in and make the previous monologue (''C/H/M'') a separate thing to revise later#which would probably go better and somehow be less work to write. but even so i don't know what the venue's sound setup is
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