#short story but i also had to Define and Explain the concepts and then there was also the intro and conclusion and header block and it’s

[pallases]

english prof just left LOADS of feedback on my essay omg this is so exciting

[rockrosethistle]

Workin Boys was literally the only thing that saved Hidgens from being flanderized beyond recognition

(Spoilers for Workin' Boys)

So what I think a lot of people don't give much thought to is how much Professor Hidgens as a character has evolved since tgwdlm, essentially becoming a parody of himself.

Think of Hidgens as a character. What are his defining traits?

Did you think about how he is a doomsday prepper who has been stockpiling supplies for 20 years? Because that's how he's introduced in Guy.

Did you try think about how he has a weird relationship with his Alexa? Or did we forget about that?

In fact, for the majority of TGWDLM, Hidgens' main character trait is that he says weird shit with a Doc Brown voice.

The whole concept of Workin Boys isn't even introduced until the last half hour of the show. That's where he reveals his real motivation: to live out the musical he wrote as a young man.

Actually, no, that's not right. Because his motivation was world peace, and Workin Boy's was just a convenient means to that end.

I won't disregard the fact that Hidgens clearly has an emotional connection to the show, but in Guy, it serves as a punchline rather than a driving force.

So now we have this lovely, morally-grey, multi-layered character that we can work with.

By the time we get to Time Bastard, the fandom is expecting a show stopping number reference, so of course we get that.

But at this point, Hidge is still that multi-layered character. Sure, showstopping number gets a callback, but we also get a callback to his strange relationship with robots. They make up an equal part of him as a character.

By the time we get to Honey Queen, we have lost several aspects of Hidgens altogether. He is no longer a doomsday-believing recluse. He is now active in the community and his only motivation is to get his show funded. He brings it up at every chance he gets, and his loyalties lie with whoever is more likely to make Workin Boys happen.

So how the hell do we come back from this?

Well, at first it seems like we're not going to. Workin' Boys (the short film) comes out, and it looks like we're leaning even harder into this aspect of his personality than before. But then we get hit with something we're not expecting: Hidge gets the Ted Spankoffski treatment.

I'm referring to Ted's backstory in Time Bastard, where we learn that all of his actions actually stem from a single, traumatic moment, which in his eyes forced him to alter his behaviour, so as to not go through the same trauma again.

Can you see where I'm going with this?

The backstory we get from Hidgens certainly puts things in perspective. No, it's not enough to explain why his behaviour has been so laser-focused on this one show, but it's a start.

Then comes the part that changes everything.

It's left up to interpretation whether these ghosts Hidge is seeing are actually there, or just hallucinations, but that doesn't really matter.

Hidgens had been through a horrible experience, so traumatizing that he is still literally being haunted by it decades later. For one reason or another, he believes that the only way he can relieve himself of these ghosts is by bringing honor to the loved ones he's lost and telling their stories.

This reveal recontextualizes everything we know about Hidgens as a character. Suddenly, this isn't a story about some guy who just really wants to put on his musical, this is a story about guilt. Of course it would be the driving factor in his life. Look at him apologizing to his boys. He feels like he is slandering their memories with everything that goes wrong for the show.

This is supported even more with the ending.

Henry Hidgens dies with a smile on his face, believing he's finally achieved his goal: to tell the real story of what happened that night.

It finally makes sense as to why we've lost those parts of him--we've retconned the character by revealing that all that simplification of his goals and traits wasn't flanderization at all, but a steady downward spiral of grief over his loved ones. It wasn't Hidgens getting a little too into being a playwrite, it was him descending into madness caused by the inability to please the part of himself (or the literal ghosts, if that's how you interpret it) that believes he's not doing enough.

And if not for Workin' Boys, he would have remained that one-dimensional character.

[alpaca-clouds]

Understanding Individualism vs Collectivism

Making that post about individualism and capitalism yesterday, I got some questions, that showed me the same problem as the person I was talking about had: A lot of people do actually not know what individualism and collectivism mean. So, let me try to explain.

I had kinda hoped that Abigail from Philosophy Tube might have made a video on this, but no such luck. So, I guess I have to try and explain it, even though I mostly know it from sociology, rather from the philosophic origins where it comes from.

Basically, both concepts originate with socialist philosophy in the early 19th century, which correctly identified the early capitalist society as individualist and saw the dangers coming with it. It argued that an individualist society will be harmful on a societal level, because the society at large would always focus on the self, rather than the other. Capitalist philosophy however picked this up was like: “Yeah, awesome, right?” And especially in the 20th century they really started to run with it, realizing that they could use it to make people into better consumers.

Now, individualism does not mean “a sense of self”. This is not connected to it. You will still have a sense of self in a collectivist society and nobody says that you shouldn’t have. Rather it means that the focus of everyone should be on the individual. Both themselves – but also the individual actors in society. It is as such not a surprise that the idea of “Great Man Theory” came up and started to thrive during early capitalism in the 19th century.

So, if individualism does not mean “a sense of self”, what does it mean?

I would argue there are two aspects to it. Once the aforementioned tendency to put the individual above the society and apart from it, but also to create and sell a personal philosophy that people are defined by their differences from others, rather than what they have in common. It tells people that they are all so very different from everyone else, which is a useful political tool for capitalism to fight collective actions such as unions, but also collective action for things like environmental protection. In the same vein it is used to keep people riled up against one another within society, as they focus on their differences, rather than what they have in common.

The most anarchistic professor I had at university put it very well: “If you as a worker talk to a factory worker from Bangladesh, you will find you have a lot in common. In fact you will always have more in common with this other worker rather than any billionaire there is.”

Which brings me to the other aspect that individualism is about: It sells you an individualistic dream. Which is why capitalism focuses so much on those rags to riches stories (that tend to be lies most of the time). “See, this millionaire started out his business in daddy’s garage. So you can also become a billionaire if you have the right idea.” Fellow leftist might know the saying: “You are just one bad day away from homelessness, but you will never be a billionaire.” Which is basically the counter argument to this.

See, capitalism tries to convince you, that “I am the better system, because in me you could become a billionaire,” to sell you not only on your own exploitation, but the exploitation of the masses.

And more than that, capitalism also has realized that it can use individualism to make you a better consumer. I alluded to this a bit further up. But the long and short of it is, that capitalism pushes this idea of “you are, what you consume”. Your individuality is defined by the things you spent money on. Maybe by you having the most expensive things, but also by you having maybe the weirdest things or something. You know, the “not like the other girls” girl will probably spend as much, if not more on the things that make her special, as “the other girls”.

This also goes into the whole idea of greenwashing, pinkwashing and rainbow capitalism. All this is about getting you to consume something to gain some sort of individual aspect from it. Basically, through buying the “green” stuff, you are a better consumer.

Ironically this also goes into the entire anti-shipping discourse, which basically also says that your goodness as a person is defined by the things you consume.

Capitalism is selling you your identity. Your individual identity.

But sadly this is an idea very, very deeply engrained into the heads of most who have grown up in capitalism. Because it is everywhere in media. Sure, there is some media that calls it out, but most of it actually peddles the idea of the individual.

Because this is the second aspect at the core of individualism: The myths that only individuals can change something, rather than a collective. Which is what I call out so often when I am talking about the entire punk-genre stuff.

Even though it is less punk, let me take Star Wars as an example, because it is an amazing example of this. Especially the original trilogy, in which the Rebellion battles the Empire. However, the evil Empire is not defeated because the Rebellion manages to somehow outwit or outmaneuvre the Empire. Or because maybe the collective of the workers in the Empire turn against it. Rather it gets defeated because Luke, the individual, turns Darth Vater, an individual, and defeats the Emperor, the individual. Which goes back to this idea of the “great man”. It is those unique individuals who will save the world, rather than collective action.

This idea of some individuals being the ones to save the world, rather than we – the people – as a group and ourselves, is used to keep the people pacified under capitalism. They are waiting for “a good billionaire” to solve climate change, homelessness and all the other problems for us, rather than getting active themselves. They keep telling themselves: “Hey, under capitalism everyone can be a billionaire, including myself, and also my life isn’t that bad right now. So who cares that under socialism/communism everyone could be lifted up?”

Look, folks. I am saying this lovingly. But you are not as much of an individual as you think. You are your own person, but you are not unique. In fact, if you talk to a random person on the street – no matter who they are – and you and them are not instantly judging each other for one reason or another, you will find that you have a lot more in common than you think. Capitalist individualism just taught you to not see this, because your empathy can be its undoing.

[girlycinephile]

What if Amy Rose had her own spin off??

With the release of Princess Peach: Showtime has got me thinking…imagine if we had gotten that similar experience for our fav pink hedgehog Amy Rose? Sure, you could make the argument that due to the bad reception of Shadow The Hedgehog (2005) when it was released indicated that Sega was not going to make any more sonic spin off games in the future (though I will defend that game for the entirety of my living existence because I whole heartedly loved it) but theoretically it could be a great concept to bring back because you could do so much with each character.

But in this case, I want to talk about the many ways of what I personally think could work if Amy had a spin off game.

1. Good Character Writing

Over the course of the Sonic franchise, there have been many interpretations of Amy some range from very bad to very good if you know what I’m talking about. If you want an in depth discussion of Amy’s evolution throughout the years read @ratrrriot post they do a great job of explaining it better than I ever could. But basically in short terms: showcase her love and compassion but is a fierce determined hero and willing to stand up for the people whom she cares about but retain both her bad qualities such as her stubbornness and so it would make feel more grounded and like a real person.

2. An Open World Format

Sonic Frontiers was a definite refresher for the format of Sonic games. The open world really helped how the open world is a great fit for Sonic games show casing how alive the star fall islands were and immersive gameplay experience can be. I know some people were mixed on that aspect but personally it was a welcome addition that helped with the story. In my mind, Amy would be going on her adventure led by her tarot cards as well as expanding her horizons and come across this magical and unknown land associated with love and kindness (one of Amy’s defining traits). The land would like some fantasy/ fairy tale inspired world with each level being more beautiful than the last and in a sense still being rooted into Sonic’s world with creative lore but with a girly twist on it one of the many things that definitely defines who Amy is and that some of the locations/ levels within the game could be off real life places or folklore.

3. Story

Sonic Frontiers and to an extent The Murder of Sonic The Hedgehog were praised for being the first Sonic games in years to have a good story probably since Sonic and the Black Knight. Definitely can work if they have good writers. Amy would be in the game for obvious but maybe two or three more friends along for the ride too but having them be in the story instead of them just being in the background like Cream, Blaze and Silver or something? Have them develop into by Amy had impacted them in so many ways and how they want to return the offer. Explain how the fantasy world in the game came to be, the culture of it and their way of living, sacred treasures they may hold to keep the world in balance. Introduce characters from the fantasy world so you would feel more invested into the journey and having one of the inhabitants be the main antagonist an trusted ally to the team.

3. Costume Upgrades

Amy has had some very cute outfits upgrades most notably in Sonic Dash or Sonic Forces Speed Battle but you would have to unlock the outfits doing certain tasks or completing each level zones in the game that also help progress the narrative feeling as that they are essential. Again it doesn’t have to be the case but it would be a cool feature to have be put in the game as well as her friends getting costume upgrades too.

Again, this isn’t trying to force the game if it would happen. It’s just me ranting some of my ideas if an Amy Rose spin off game were to actually happen but I doubt it’ll be the case any time soon.

My Synopsis of names of the world in the game, the levels/ zones it can contain and what it would look like;

Location of the Story: The Petula Isles

Levels/ Zones:

Valley of Love:

Dreamy Skyline:

Crittered Cove:

Wintered Wonderland:

Jubokko Forest:

Crystal Caves:

Link to @ratrrriot’s post on Amy’s Evolution:

[bestfriend491]

Super Powers

| Made From Request 2

Okoye x Female Reader

Summary: Okoye doesn't smile for anyone, so everyone wants to know what super powers you have that make Okoye change completely.

Author's Note: I kind of came to the conclusion that this work is in the same universe as Hateful Love, because of the writing style. But the two stories aren't related for the most part. Just read it if you enjoyed Hateful love. 

Word Count: 3.5k Fluff Warnings: None

Dedicated to : @hyperf1xate-much because guess what? That one very short convo we had about this ended up being the only reason I decided to finally make it. So everybody say thank you, Mayari!!! 🫶🏾😌

Joy and Happiness are two different things. 

Though frequently used interchangeably, they are both defined as different states of emotions. Hosting many differences in how they might appear in someone. 

Happiness is an emotion that is often outwardly portrayed as a feeling of absolute elation. 

It's often felt before, during or after one has had an earthly experience, or when someone has acquired a material object of their desire. 

It is that feeling that one gets when something good has happened, or is about to happen. 

It is the one thing that many people spend their entire lives trying to attain. It's the thing that most people believe will make them feel whole for once. 

People chase hopeless opportunities in the name of finding happiness. 

The only problem is that they don't know the truth about it. 

They don't know that happiness isn't everything that it's talked up to be. 

It is brief. 

And it is fragile. 

It is as easy to lose as it is to gain. 

It can pamper you with gifts and warm feelings one moment and strip you bare the next. 

If Happiness is a state of being, then joy is an existential being. She can't be seen but when found, she remains loyal for as long as one will have her. 

Happiness is nothing like Joy. 

Joy is peace and contentment. She connects you with your internal self. Diving into the deep crevasses of one's soul to find all the good in their life. 

Joy doesn't give out fake promises. When she announces her presence, she promises to stay forever. 

Joy is nothing like happiness. 

Because if happiness is the end goal, joy is the result of an entire healing journey. She is an eternal feeling.

Joy can be channelled into one person. one thing. It can be placed into the heart of someone and hidden from the rest of the world. 

Joy is the underdog of emotions. She is not given the respect that she deserves. 

Instead she is grouped in the same category as Happiness. 

Because to the common person, they are one in the same. 

At least, that’s how Kabia felt about it. 

To her, if you could find happiness, you could find joy. It was all an interconnected chain of reactions to her. 

Raneah, her close companion, felt very different about it.  She was an existential thinker after all. 

She thought about those slight differences between both words. The details that changed the entire meaning of them. 

She was a lot more in her head than Kabia was. 

Her daydreaming, however, didn't stand a chance against the last addition to their close friendship. 

The way that Ekih thought about life was far less complex or detailed. It was more imaginative, like a child's way of viewing the world and it was constantly coming up with new ideas to explain old concepts.

She also knew of the difference between Joy and Happiness. She just didn’t know all the needless details that others had pointed out about them over the years. Happiness is just what she felt and joyful was what she was. 

The three had their own definitions of happiness and joy, and they often disagreed on who was more correct.

By each teenagers’ standard, the amount of people who had found their joy between the three of them differed. 

WIth Ekih’s theory. Everyone had found joy. Her more than the rest of them as she was always happy and full of joy. Both Kabia and Raneah could agree on that. 

What complicated things was figuring out whether or not Kabia and Raneah were happy using Raneah’s theory. 

Ever since they’d become Dora Milaje, the answer to that one question had been hard to find. 

With the new skills and experiences that they had acquired over the last year, they were both sure that they were more than happy with their positions in life. 

The only issue was that Raneah was sure that Kabia hadn’t found joy yet, and it was affecting her ability to fully indulge in the honour of serving her country. 

She was always chasing the hero title, spreading herself thin with unnecessarily intense training. 

Kabia argued otherwise, claiming that it was Raneah who felt this way and she was just projecting. 

She knew that she was just distracting from the truth. Seeing as Raneah had always been more reserved. But she wasn’t willing to admit that she had no idea where she was supposed to look for this mysterious ‘Joy’ figure. 

So she stood her ground. Arguing with her friends and comparing who was happiest. And who held the most joy. 

The same conversation recycled itself over and over again, becoming a regular topic of conversation for them. 

Even as they walked into the training grounds of the palace, they bickered about it. 

“For the last time, Kabia. Joy and happiness are not the same things.” Ekih said to her friend. She walked backwards to be able to face the other 2 as they approached their desired building. 

“Exactly, “ Raneah started, looking at Kabia with her all-knowing eyes. 

“I’m just saying how can we compare the two when they bring the same feeling to us? Why are you two being so headstrong about this? It’s not like you can physically see any of these things anyway.” Kabia argued. 

The never ending comparison between the two feelings was becoming tedious. She was becoming less susceptible to listening and understanding their points. 

So much so, that she easily allowed herself to be distracted by the calling of her name. 

“Kabia!” came a deeply rich voice from behind. 

She turned instantly, knowing who she was going to find standing behind her. 

“T- Thimi.” she stuttered out. 

“You’re back from your mission.” she continued, struggling to keep her mind focused anymore. Her cheeks burned as she tried to push down a smile. 

Thimi nodded with a grin. Going in to hug Kabia, who just stood stunned at the young wardog’s reappearance. 

“I missed you.” Thimi whispered in her ear, sending chills down Kabia’s back. 

She held onto the other woman for far longer than necessary. Forgetting who she had previously been walking with. 

When she let go, and let the wardog go to hug the other two girls, her mind was in a completely halted state. 

A dizziness came upon her. And she had to hold on to Raneah's arm to keep her balance. 

“Kabia?” came a voice again.

"Hm.?" She asked once she realised that someone had been talking to her. 

"I asked if you wanted to hang out sometime next week. Before I get assigned to leave again." 

"Uh," Kabia started, trying to arrange her thoughts. Looking at Ekih and Raneah, she realised that this wouldn't be a group activity. It would just be her and Thimi. 

Her face grew hot, and her mouth dry.

The wardog stood looking down at her. “I’ll give you some time to think about it.”

Still, Kabia didn’t say a thing.

She watched the woman hesitantly walk away, instead.

“Well there’s your problem.” Raneah’s voice came through, snapping her out of her daze.

“What’s my problem?”

“You’re your own worst enemy.”

“I am not!”

“Kabs, are you serious right now?” Raneah continued. 

Ekih interjected finally, “Kabia, that was your physical evidence of joy and you just let her walk away.” 

Kabia shook her head and folded her arms, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

The other two rolled their eyes.

She dismissed them.

"I don't have time to talk about this. We're going to be late." 

Luckily they didn't press the issue more, deciding to just follow her to the training facilities. 

From the moment that training started there was a strange energy in the room. 

It wasn’t as tense as every other day. 

Kabia looked around for any particularly different features in the room that she stretched in, but the room looked identical to how it had when she had last been there. 

She wasn’t the only one to notice. Ekih and Raneah doing their rounds of observation too. They made eye contact with each other when a laugh came through the room. Unfamiliar to all of them. 

Their focus shifted to near the door of the room, where an unknown woman stood talking to the General. 

As they looked closer, they saw the most unusual thing of the day. 

The General had a large grin across her face. And it was clear that she had been the one laughing. 

Kabia’s eyes grew large at the sight, seeing General Okoye’s hand being held by the woman without the General flinching or pulling away. 

Instinctively the girls stood up and went to a corner of the room to talk. 

“Is that-” Ekih started. 

“-General Okoye smiling.” Kabia finished. 

They were huddled in a triangular shield-like form. 

“Who’s that woman standing next to her?” Kabia asked.

“Clearly Bast herself; with the way she’s making her smile.” Ekih laughed, getting a chuckle out of the others. 

Raneah looked up at the two again making sure that she was seeing things correctly, “So none of us have ever seen her before?” 

Her friends shook their heads in agreement. 

Nobody had ever seen this woman. But clearly Okoye was very familiar with her.  

“Maybe it’s a test. Something the General has set up to see if we’re observant.” Ekih suggested. 

A minute of silent thought took place, and the other two couldn’t argue with her idea. It was likely that Okoye was testing them. 

That was what made the most sense. She had to be pretending to be happy to trick all the newer Doras. 

“Should we approach?” 

“No.” Kabia quickly stopped them. “If we attack and it’s not a test we’ll be done for. Let’s just stay together and keep an eye on them until the woman leaves.” 

The others followed her lead, going back to their positions close to each other. They kept an eye on the General and the strange woman for the majority of the session, even slowing down their normally fast paced sparring to take more glimpses of the scene that never ended. 

By the end of the day, they were certain that something was wrong. Okoye had barely been herself the entire time. All she was focused on was the woman that held her so closely. 

Okoye hadn’t been oblivious to the stares that she had been getting throughout the day. Especially the ones from the Triple Bullets, as she liked to call them. 

Kabia, Raneah and Ekih were her strongest new recruits.

They were also the nosiest. 

From the first day that they entered the palace, they were a tight unit of gossipers. 

Which was why she wasn’t surprised that even 30 minutes after training had ended, they were all still pretending to pack their things up, when really they were just staring at you and her. 

She was more surprised that the girls hadn’t found out about the two of you months before.

You stood in front of her, your hand in hers. “They’re still there?” you asked, looking away from the girls to prevent yourself from laughing. 

She nodded, her day-long smile fading as she rolled her eyes. 

“I should probably introduce myself before I get ambushed on my way home.” you said, getting a sigh as a reply. 

“Fine. Let’s get this over with.” 

The two of you turned, looking directly at the group of young girls. 

“Girls.” she said, crossing her arms in salute. 

You stood next to her with an awkward smile, as you waited for your cue. 

“General.” they all said in patchy unison. 

“I’d like to introduce you to someone.” Okoye said.

They all looked at you. You crossed your arms, before extending your arm out. “I’m Y/n. Okoye’s-”

“-Wife.” Raneah declared. She pointed to the ring on your finger, then at the matching one that Okoye wore. 

The other two gasped, getting a chuckle out of you, while Okoye tried to hide a grin. 

“I did not expect that.” Raneah said breathlessly. 

Okoye eyed her questionably prompting her to correct herself. “Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say; You look like a wonderful couple.” 

You smiled at her as she finally took your extended hand and shook it. She had a strong grip, apologising through her expression. 

When you offered your hands to the others, it was a lot more comical. 

Kabia had completely zoned out so she didn’t notice until Raneah bumped her shoulder. 

Ekih was more aware of your presence. Taking your hand in hers but nearly yanking it off with the amount of force that she used. 

“Woah” you said, pulling your arm back. 

“Oh sh-.I am so sorry.” she said, breathing heavily. 

“It’s okay.” you said,

Okoye glared a warning to the girls.  

‘Stop embarrassing me.’ 

You cleared your throat, “ I was assigned a new weapons development project that requires me to work with the Dora for a few weeks.” you started to explain. 

The girls nodded in understanding. Clearly having been waiting for an explanation. 

You all stood there for a while, before Raneah looked out and saw that the natural light from the sun was dimming. It was getting late. 

“I think we’d better go.” she said.

She led the other two out of the facility.

“Of course they chose the one day you were going to be here to act like that.” Okoye said. 

The girls made their way to their homes, all shocked by the new revelation of Okoye actually having the ability to smile for longer than a split second. 

“It’s got to be magic.” Ekih said, walking backwards once again. 

“Magic? Don’t be ridiculous, Ekih.” Kabia argued. 

“I’m not being ridiculous. What else would explain seeing the General smile for hours on end?” 

“I don’t know, but it’s definitely not magic.” 

“Think about it. Maybe Y/n has some kind of power that attracts people to her.” 

Kabia rolled her eyes, “If that were true we would have acted normal back there. And in case you didn’t notice we were a mess.” 

“Fine. Maybe it only works on the General. There’s no other way she would have been acting like that. Smiling is not a normal thing that she just… does.” 

“She seemed pretty normal to me.” Raneah finally pitched in. 

“Of course she looked normal to you, Miss “Joy can find everyone”. “ Kabia mimicked her. 

Raneah gently shoved her to the left. 

“Well maybe it is joy.” she shot back. 

The other two both looked at her questionably. 

Ekih’s expression pleading for her to elaborate while Kabia’s pleaded for her to let it go so she could forget about the embarrassing interaction. 

“I know that we’ve always seen the General as this emotionless woman who doesn’t experience regular human feelings like the rest of us. But maybe we’re not one-hundred percent right. 

What if she’s kept a tough exterior shell and made it an entire fake-personality to showcase to the rest of the world. And she deliberately chooses to fool the rest of us and make us paint a specific picture of her. 

And she does this as often as possible. Pretending that she’s unapproachable and unhappy or annoyed. All because she knows that she can store her Joy into her forever person. 

The person that she knows will love her regardless of what’s going on and won’t judge her for her authentic personality…” Raneah rambled on, completely enthralled by the potential of the concept that she had developed actually being correct. 

Ekih leaned into every word, loving the idea too. 

Both of their minds were spinning in different directions, analysing the situation. 

Kabia on the other hand, barely paid attention to the absurd idea. 

“Or maybe she was just having a really good day and decided to smile for once.” Kabia argued. 

Ekih shook her head. “That wasn’t something you get from a good day, Kabs. What we witnessed back there was Joy. Real , pure joy that is probably not going anywhere as long as Y/n is there. Again, magic.” 

“You're really going to keep calling it magic?” 

“It’s either that or I’m calling it love powers.” 

Kabia sighed at the suggestion. 

Somehow she preferred the former. 

“So what do we do with this information?” she asked. She was becoming intrigued, though she didn’t want to admit it. 

“Well, you should use that information to put your pride aside and agree to go out with Thimi.” Raneah said. They were nearing her house, which meant that the other two’s houses weren’t too far away either. 

Kabia immediately shook her head. “I’m not doing that.” 

“Why not?” the other two whined in unison. 

“Because I’ll look like a foo- I just won’t, okay.” She stopped the conversation there. 

Ekih grew completely silent, detecting her house from a farther distance and offering her goodbyes. 

Raneah and Kabia stood in front of the formers’ house. 

Kabia, looking at the ground, felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up trying her best not to show too much emotion.

“Look. I know you might think you don’t need joy in your life because you're making a mark by being a Dora. but everyone needs that extra something that keeps them going. I’m not saying you have to go out with her if you don’t want to. I’m just saying; if you want to - which I can tell you do- you should do it.” 

Feeling her eyes start to water, she wiped the developing tears away, smiling at Raneah. 

“Thanks.” 

The two hugged, and Kabia made her way home.

A week after the first time anyone had seen the General smiling, it was becoming a regular occurrence. 

With you so close by, she was constantly smiling at you or with you. 

She had barely noticed that there was a major shift in her behaviour. She always acted like that around you. 

Though the previous weeks’ intense stares had been directed at Okoye. Now they were mostly being given to you. 

The girls had been a bit more subtle than the last time, but you could still clearly tell that they were staring at you as you worked. 

Okoye had walked past you and pointed it out a couple of times, but you had politely declined all her offers to handle the situation. 

As the third hour of training came into action, and the Doras were taking a break, you could feel the stares intensifying. 

Again, Okoye came to you. 

‘Y/n, my love. If I catch them looking at you one more time, I’m going to cause a scene.” she spoke with a fake smile on her face. 

You hummed in understanding. “Let me talk to them first, Okoye.” 

She reluctantly let you go, watching you approach them as they tried to avoid eye contact now that you were close. 

By the time you stood right in front of them, they were still trying to avoid looking directly at you. 

“Did you girls need something?” you asked, looking at Raneah, who was the only one comfortable enough to look at you. 

“We’re really sorry for staring. We just have so many questions.” she said to you. 

“Go ahead.” you offered. 

Ekih’s eyes lit up and she immediately looked up at you. 

“We’re trying to figure out what to call what you have.” 

Your eyes wandered up in thought. “What I have?” you questioned.

“The thing that you have that makes General Okoye smile so much.” Raneah explained. 

You looked out towards your wife when you heard this. She was always at least slightly smiling when you were around. It was hard to envision her not being the same when you weren’t around.

“How often is she like this when I’m not around?” you asked no particular person. 

Kabia let out a sly chuckle, “She’s never like this when you’re not around. It's like a magical super power that you have. That’s what Ekih calls it. ”

A super power? You wanted to laugh at the idea, but the girls seemed very serious. 

As you turned her head to look at Okoye, and you saw her bright smile towards you, you softly returned her one of your own. 

“Okoye smiles.” you tried to reason with the three. They shook their heads heavily. 

“Raneah’s the most observant person we know and even she hadn’t seen the General smiling so much before you came last week. “ Kabia spoke. 

“It’s amazing to look at honestly.” she continued , “I don’t want to agree with Ekih’s idea that its a literal super power, but it's a nice figurative super power.” she smiled sheepishly at you. Thinking about her own potential superhero. 

You took in a deep breath of contentment. 

“Maybe it is like a super power.” you whispered.

 ‘One that I’m more than grateful to have.’ you thought. 

If you could bring Okoye even a fraction of the happiness that she brought you, you would be more than glad to. 

As for Kabia, she was starting to soften up to the idea of taking Thimi up on her offer. 

After all, what was the worst that could happen?

Maybe she’d find her joy.

[dinorah93uy]

Leario Fanfic Rec - Da Vinci's Demons

These are the ones I have bookmarked on AO3 @zahlenfreak

В день грядущий веры нет by Kana_Go

The action takes place some time after the events of the series. One late spring evening, Leonardo opened the door and found Riario behind it. Riario did not explain why he came to Florence, and Leonardo did not ask. Meanwhile, a wave of brutal murders rolls through the city and people go missing.

One of my favorites, but it’s written in Russian. https://archiveofourown.org/series/1009176 here there’s the translation of other of their stories, but they didn’t translate this one so I read it with the translator. Worth it!!

We want to see what's next. by Drumthis

Giròlamo Riario has found refuge at his cousin's, Giovanni, in Sinegallia. An extraordinary encounter is about to change his plans in a drastic manner…

Regretting by Mika__mi

Leonardo dreams. He dreams every night and each vision shows him new paths and possible endings to his life. Each night he re-dreams events and, more importantly, he re-meets people he had already encountered.

What Leonardo himself finds surprising, is that in every single world his mind produces, there is a place for that one particular man. He is there all the time, even if Leonardo cannot see him at the very moment. It seems even, that his confrontations with Riario define the turns in his life. Like the man was the source of the changes.

And sometimes, just sometimes, Da Vinci wishes he could stay in the dreamstate.

Incomplete but I love the story and concept.

Book of Ficlets by meridian_rose (meridianrose)

Da Vinci drabbles, Florentine ficlets, serpentine shorts...one-off ficlets, mostly for fic meme prompt fills. Some posted previously to Tumblr. Various characters/pairings - details in chapter titles.

Book of Leaves by Anne_Fairchild

Leo manages to convince Riario to leave Italy after the events of the series-ending episode. It’s a bumpy ride, but it all goes right in the end - in more ways than one.

How I Feel About You Now by meridian_rose (meridianrose)

Season one au. A badly wounded Riario finds himself at the mercy of Leo's skills and Vanessa's ministrations. While he recovers he begins to bond with his caretakers and to reconsider everything he once believed in, and to develop feelings he shouldn’t allow himself to have.

This is one of my favorites, not only because of Leo-Girolamo relationship but also Girolamo-Vanessa interactions.

Collecting Jewels That Catch Your Eyes by meridian_rose (meridianrose)

Riario falls prey to an enchantment and, finding himself in a female body, turns to the one person who might believe him and can possibly help. Leo does believe and will help, but he wonders if realising a woman cannot be the Head of the Papal Army might make Riario reconsider some of his beliefs – and if a female Riario might be more open to Leo's romantic advances.

For the hc-bingo amnesty challenge: small fandom, prompt: surprise sexswap. This is my first time writing a sexswap fic; please read the endnotes.

Female Riario because of magic

THE JOURNEY by Anne_Fairchild

Set just after the end of the series. Riario comes to Da Vinci for help, seeking changes in his life.

The Count's Physician by meridian_rose (meridianrose)

Count Girolamo Riario was staying with his cousin, Lucrezia Donati, but his enjoyment of the countryside was marred when Lucrezia introduced him to the arrogant Dr Leonardo da Vinci. Then, when Riario needed Leo's professional help, he couldn’t help falling in love. But Leonardo knew, if Riario didn’t, that a count was out of his reach.

The obligatory regency-AU of the fandom (and I love it!)

(not all of me will die) by vonnsguts

"from my rotting body, flowers will grow, and i am in them, and that is eternity." (edvard munch)

The prisoner of Labyrinth by Kana_Go

The Ottomans are threatening Italian cities, Sixtus is demanding that the mysterious murderer should be found, and Leonardo is trying to save Riario and not to get lost in imagined worlds.

Amazing!!!!!

Damaged by callisto24 for danceswithgary

Follows the events of the S3 finale. Leonardo and Zoroaster are on their way to find and save Riario.

This one is dark, so maybe it’s not for you. TW: Mention of r*pe and t*rture and its consequences. Also, it’s LeoxGiroxZo.

Stay With Me by meridian_rose (meridianrose)

"Give me your hand," Leonardo said and as he caught hold of Riario's wrist he exposed the marred flesh. AU in which Leonardo realises he's not the only who's suffered and, in confronting Riario about the truth, triggers a revelation and an opportunity. Please see the notes.

What should have happened.

Ten Weeks at Sea by eretria 

Ten weeks at sea: Enough time for bones to heal and relationships to change. With himself. With Nico. With DaVinci. With God.

No one said it would be easy.

(Set between the season 2 episodes "The Fall from Heaven" and "The Enemies of Man")

Treasure in Clay Vessels by zephfair

Pope Sixtus is so concerned with taking over Florence that he sends two spies to infiltrate the Medici family, but the new war engineer will only choose to get close to one of them. Girolamo must forget he is a Riario to play his role, but temptations threaten to steal him away for good.

So, Riario takes into Lucrezia’s role.

Sailing Off Anchor by zephfair

Riario learns a little about the benefits of becoming allies with someone like Leonardo da Vinci.

All their stories are amazing, this one was the first I read of them and has a nice place in my heart.

Meta: Reading Girolamo Riario (Da Vinci's Demons) as on the Asexual Spectrum by meridian_rose (meridianrose)

Meta exploring Riario's sexual and romantic orientation. I head-canon him somewhere on the asexual spectrum. Not necessarily completely asexual but possibly grey-asexual or demi-sexual, maybe with some sexual attraction to all genders; I also think he could be biromantic and/or demiromantic and the meta looks at various facets of his identity. For Asexual Awareness Week 2016.

Not a story, but a character analysis I thought you could find interesting.

There was another Russian author that had two stories, The path of the jaguar and Adept to other gods, but sadly they were deleted :(

The Incan Adventure by Saki_The_Cup_Bearer this one is inspired by the first fic. And now I'm remembering, there was another fic of them (the author's username was Aila Darley) where they find again in Venetia, also deleted :(

[batbeato]

why i hate six the musical

tldr: milquetoast pop feminism that ends up perpetuating misogyny

...I know this blog is mostly umineko but this musical is so bad I need to share it with everyone. More beneath the cut.

Six is about the six wives of Henry VIII. They have decided to put on a pop concert/competition where they sing about how much their lives sucked in order to determine who had it the worst and should lead their band.

I want to preface this by saying that while I don't think its runtime (about 70 minutes, as it's a one-act musical) warrants Broadway trips / ticket prices, the format of Six is not my issue with it. I love Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which is also a musical in concert(s) format.

I also acknowledge that the creators of Six were university students at the time of first creating this musical and I am not sure that this musical went through much, if any, revisions since then. This does explain some of the issues with this musical, but doesn't excuse them.

I did enjoy a few aspects of the 70 minutes of my life I spent on this musical.

Basing each queen on different pop stars.

Most of the music sounds good and being in a theater getting hyped up over the numbers / audience interaction is probably a blast.

All You Wanna Do is a great musical number and, unlike a single song from Mean Girls, has found a place on my musical theater playlist.

The zany concept. I love that.

I watched a 2022 Broadway production of the musical, and will be basing this post off of that.

Songs

This will be brief because I don't have too many issues with the music. It's a very pop-style musical, but that's a fine choice to make. Some of the lyrics are aggressively modern, which is a bit irksome, but it's mostly tolerable, and some of the too-modern jokes/lingos are a bit funny.

I have two main gripes with the music: one is that Heart of Stone is just... boring. It's very different from the rest of the musical and it falls very flat. It's also a song about abuse apologism that downplays Henry's abusive/shitty tendencies in favor of romanticizing him. The singer also precedes the song by blaming Henry's abuse on the other wives... "raging and storming right back". So the song fails for me on an emotional level while it's at it.

The other is that for whatever reason, in the middle of the show, they decide to have a mini-rave with this song called Haus of Holbein to introduce the next queen being from Germany. It adds nothing to any of the characters. This kind of song (a bop / fun to witness but filler) is already bad enough in a normal musical, but in a musical with this short a runtime, you need to make every minute (and every song) count.

Historical Inaccuracy

Musicals are no stranger to historical inaccuracy. I am also no stranger to historically inaccurate musicals. However, the historical inaccuracy of Six undermines its core message, which is that the stories of these women matter and that they should be defined beyond their marriages to Henry VIII.

If the musical itself cannot be bothered to properly relate these women as they were, why should the audience care about these women?

These inaccuracies, combined with the very sexual nature of many of the songs, sometimes even painting these women as shallow and/or catty, completely destroys the musical's intent. Rather than honoring these women, it creates shallow, misogynistic caricatures of them.

I am not a history buff and do not have the energy to go through how each song/portrayal may have butchered each queen. I do think that, for example, portraying Anne Boleyn as a selfie-taking rumor-spreading "I wanna dance and sing / Politics / Not my thing" when a quick google search shows that she did engage with politics, quite a bit... is misogyny. Which, let's get into that.

The Misogyny

So, the premise of this show is that these queens are in a competition. That means that for the entirety of the show, they act very 'catty', they downplay each other's trauma, and they use each other's trauma as a way to insult each other. This is to the point that they start comparing their numbers of miscarriages.

At that point, Catherine Perr tells them they've gone too far, she sings a song about how she had a life beyond Henry (mostly devoted to men with a single verse about her actual life) and then it's revealed that the competition was fake and staged to show the misogyny of such a competition and how defining these women by their husband rather than their actual lives is misogynistic/shitty.

Unfortunately these woman have still spent the past hour tearing each other down and defining themselves solely by their relationships to Henry VIII. The audience has also spent the past hour eating it up and laughing/cheering.

When Samantha Pauly, as Katherine Howard, performs All You Wanna Do, she has a progressive breakdown on stage about the sexual abuse and objectification she experienced over the course of her life. It's an incredibly powerful performance, with a lot of in-character acting/singing as the concert gives way to theater. For a moment, after this very intense song, I felt a lot of emotion about how this historical woman may have been treated. And then the show returned to wisecracking and women being catty.

If SIx had a second act after this twist, where the women support each other and sing about their actual lives, maybe this twist could work. It does not, and so despite this 'message', Six primarily perpetuates what it is trying to deconstruct: erasing the history of women and their many accomplishments in favor of defining them solely by their relationships to men.

The End

This one gets its own section because it pisses me off that badly. You see, after all these historically inaccurate numbers, all of this misogynistic catty banter, all of this sexualization of these dead women for the sake of crowd-pleasing, they have an ending number that amounts to a fix-it fanfiction.

This song is about all of them never getting with Henry (or surviving childbirth) and finding musical careers and forming their band together. They sing the line "Too many years lost in his story" but what is their story. This musical has not shared it with me.

Writing fix-it fanfiction about Henry's wives starting a band together is not how you fight how women have been erased from history. It is not how you recognize the achievements of these women and respect their memories.

What is Six about? It's a musical about how women have been erased from history that erases them further, even as it claims to be about these women speaking their truth and doing themselves justice. That's not feminism. That's fucking misogyny getting a standing ovation from people who don't want to actually unpack the systemic erasure of women from history.

[zilodak]

im a turkish person who lives in America and it honestly makes so giddy to see turkish artists online since i live in a part of the US that basically has no other turkish people. it gets a little bit isolating sometimes because I love our culture and our language but not many people here actually know about any of it.

To them you’re either European or Arab and it’s a little bit challenging to explain what being Turkish really is to Americans sometimes. It’s so funny when you’re like, “🤓 um actually the majority of Turkey is in Asia” and their whole world view is shattered because like how could a country ever be Eurasian i guess, what a foreign concept, “what? you’re Asian?????? No way man you’re white right?” and then the real bombshell is when you tell them it’s also a mostly muslim country that’s often considered middle eastern.

i can not tell you the amount of times people have just out of the blue asked me what my race is. i guess its because of how intertwined race has been with American society and their view of identity throughout history. white with an asterisk i guess. like white as in i have all the privileges that come with being a white person but also not exactly being what people here think of when they refer to you as white or having white experiences. and thats ok i guess since white is more of a flexible umbrella term used to identify who has more racial privilege and power in American society. shit gets bonkers confusing sometimes. they should give you a manual that explains all this when you move to america fr.

sorry that was long and a little bit embarrassing to write in a tumblr anon thing but uhhhh just ignore all that ig resimler süper ya!

Where's that one Tumblr post... ah here it is

It's been an interesting experience to come to America after the discrimination in Europe because American discrimination is very racially motivated, as in if you have white skin, and you're not visibly Muslim (eg. are not a hijabi) you're considered and treated mostly white in public spaces which is a great privilege. This is also present in Europe mind you, like very much so, the way they treat Black and brown people is just as horrible and present in Europe as it is in America but they're also incredibly nosy on top of everything, and they'll clock you the moment you speak the language or you look even the slight bit ethnic and start treating you differently no matter if you have white skin. On one hand it's xenophobia sure, but really it has been ethnophobia for me more than anything (I've been mocked for my big nose, bushy eyebrows, hairy body, thick accent, etc).

I did have one defining moment when I first came here in America, I must've been around like 6 or 7 and this was post 9/11 and I distinctly remember we were at a Walmart (we were tourists) and I think we had some sort of miscommunication with the cashier and my mom was speaking Turkish to me bc I didn't speak English back then, and I think she mentioned God and it sealed the deal for the white woman behind us at the line and she started screaming for security. I obviously didn't understand it at the time and now my mom laughs a bit when she tells the story to our relatives or strangers, but it was clear that she got really scared and worried at that moment knowing how aggressive police and security is in America. She had no idea how to deal with the situation, especially since I was there (my mom's a bit of a short fuse) and she did not want to put me in danger, is what she'd later tell me.

I'm privileged that I haven't experienced anything like that or what I've been through in Europe ever since I moved here. But it does hurt a bit when I try to speak about past experiences with discrimination ive personally faced and people try to discredit me because I don't look ethnic enough for them (which is weird bc these are all things I've heard white people say mostly and bc like I've mentioned earlier have been endlessly mocked for when I was younger), which I understand bc it's different in Europe than it is in America. I even had someone on twitter zoom into a photo I posted and perform some weird like eugenic analysis as to why I don't deserve to speak up abt topics I've had experience with before based on ONE photo I had edited bc I was again struggling with body imaging issues and hated my ethnic features. It was very weird...

Still I find it odd that many people don't consider the Anatolia as part of Asia because it was considered the Orient and exotic for so long, and white people saying that now just feels so very wrong to me bc it feels like they're trying to erase how much influence they and their words had on the people and the land through Orientalism. I mean, the first word of advice my mom gave me when I told her abt the weird stuff my classmates were calling me as a kid was "they'll always see you as a barbarian, don't bother" in such a tired and defeated voice.

[postalninja]

Hi Ninja! For the fanfic ask game ☺️

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

B: No! That's the short answer XD Even my original work isn't. I definitely look for inspiration outside of myself rather than from within, and also, my life just isn't that interesting I guess? What I will say is that sometimes there are *aspects* of my experiences that may make an appearance in my writing (such as my background in fashion design, like with Fashion Party Confidential) but usually it's incidental. F: Let's go with a snippet from The Head That Wears The Crown because I *loved* having Ophilia and Susanna interact. The way they butt heads was so compelling for me to write, and I will choose a snippet from the most fraught moment of their relationship:

“My path is lit by the Sacred Flame,” she reminded the elderly woman in a flat voice. “If you sought to change that, then you meant to destroy the essence of who I am. I will not be turned away from Aelfric's guidance,” she finished almost spitefully.

Susanna let out a beleaguered sigh.

“And that is precisely what I was afraid of,” she conceded in defeat. “You lack the self-awareness to truly learn anything outside of your existing worldview.

“Had I succeeded in breaking through your prejudices, you could have made a fine scholar,” she mused wistfully. “I would have recommended you to the Royal Academy myself.”

Ophilia's eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared as she breathed in an angry, ragged breath.

“I've been to your academy,” she stated, her voice tight and deliberate. “I found it to be nothing more than a sinful, blasphemous farce.”

Susanna leveled her with her gaze, her eyes black marbles that seemingly stared into Ophilia's very soul.

“You take from the academy what you bring,” she remarked. “I suppose I should not have expected anything different from you.” These are two women who see something in one another but have been so profoundly disappointed by each other that, at this point, what respect they held is close to extinguished. It was an uneasy friendship to begin with - Ophilia straight up couldn't wrap her mind around Susanna but was fascinated by her nonetheless, and Susanna saw potential in Ophilia but didn't approve of her choices - and here's where their differences come to a head. Their dynamic was *so* much fun to play with! W: I'm not sure how to define "general" vs. "specific" in this sense. What I look for in a prompt is something that gets the wheels in my head turning, and that could be something general *or* specific, really. So something like a scenario, a dialogue snippet, or even even a single word could potentially inspire me, and other times it won't. Sometimes a bit of dialogue is too specific, in that it doesn't sound like something my blorbos would say. Or sometimes a concept is too vague, and it really gives me nothing because I have no basis to interpret it. It really depends on the prompt!

[burnwater13]

Concept art by Christian Alzmann

‘The scene… we have Din Djarin flying far above the secret Imperial base, spotting Stormtroopers and cutting them down, one by one…’ 

What? How could a base be secret and still be so plainly visible from above. That hadn’t seemed secret at all to Grogu.

“No, Buddy. The base wasn’t a secret. What they were doing in the base was secret.” His dad explained, while the other two humans who sat with them at their small breakfast/lunch/dinner/everything table waited patiently. 

“Is he going to do that every time, Mando?” Greef Karga asked from across the room.

Grogu knew Greef was asking about his interruptions, but he didn’t care. He wanted to make sure that they got things right. After all, he’d been stuck in the Nevarro Academy for Young Smugglers and Pirates that day and had missed out on all the fun. 

“Yeah. The kid’s a stickler for getting the details right.” Grogu’s dad replied. 

“Awe. That is so sweet. He’s such a cutie.”

Grogu liked the lady who was helping with the production that the town council was putting on. Not the town council per se, but the Nevarro Guild of Entertainments and Educational Programs to Promote the Culture and Achievements of Nevarro, Thanks to High Magistrate Greef Karga. Whew. That was a long name. Grogu just called them The Guild for short. 

The Guild had decided that what Nevarro needed to attract more people and investment from large corporations was to show off the achievements of key citizens. And who could be more ‘key’ that High Magistrate Greef Karga and his trusty friend Din Djarin, Mandalorian Bounty Hunter extraordinaire? Of course Grogu could have told them that Kuiil and IG-11 had a lot more to do with their eventual success, but he didn’t want to rain on Greef Karga’s parade.

“Or your dad’s either, little one”, the high magistrate had said without a gram of sincerity.

Yeah. Sure. Right.

Any way, the two people who came to the cabin at the crack of dawn (defined as anytime before Grogu had his breakfast or the Mandalorian had his caf) were from The Guild and were writing the script for the production. They had explained that they wanted the Mandalorian’s uncensored perspective on how the whole event unfolded because the drama was sure to sell the production. They soon found out that Din Djarin was a man of few words and none of them were dramatic or even hyperbolic. 

“The High Magistrate tells us you were instrumental in his plan to rid Nevarro of Imperial Remnants once and for all.” The woman had reported, somewhat breathlessly.

“Yeah. I helped.” 

“I understand your knowledge of Imperial base design and Stormtrooper routines was essential for the infiltration into the base.” The male representative had said, not quite breathlessly, but certainly with some emotion.

“Yeah. I can follow a map.”

“Without Mando and the little one I would have been a goner when that reptavian scratched me with it’s poisonous claws.” Greef protested.

“That’s venomous, not poisonous. Grogu is the one who healed you. I just knew he could do it. The kid saved me from a mudhorn.” Din replied.

Grogu had smiled then, because he liked it when he dad talked about him. It made him feel warm and happy. It also made the two people from The Guild happy because Din Djarin hadn’t said more than a few words in a row and they’d been trying to get him to blab. That’s why Grogu started asking questions. It was helping them get information out of his dad and Grogu felt like that was a key bounty hunting skill that he should practice more. 

“A mudhorn? Did that happen here? Greef, I mean High Magistrate Karga, why didn’t you tell us about the mudhorn?” The lady seemed flustered and interested at the same time. Grogu had seen that behavior around his dad more than once.

“Because this is a story about Nevarro and not Arvala-7. Now can we get back to how I destroyed the secret Imperial base?” The High Magistrate seemed a bit peeved, but then that happened a lot. 

“Of course, High Magistrate. Of course.” The man spoke soothingly. “Now, when the Tie fighters were chasing you, Marshal Dune’s report indicated that the gunsight on the Trexler 906 Armored Marauder had been destroyed and the Mandalorian and his boy here came to your rescue in their ship. What was the name of it again?”

“Revenge!” Grogu chirped before his dad could answer. 

Well he was allowed some artistic license in providing the details, right? 

TO BE CONTINUED

Concept Art by Christian Alzmann

[an-unraveling-unknown]

My thoughts on Undertale and philosophy

This short thought barf has so many holes and ramblings and the concept in itself could probably be explained far better by the countless video essays that genuinely had hard work into them and I recommend them no questions asked but I need to gush and further procrastinate on my French or else my brain will eat itself and explode (I’m sorry Ms. L)

Undertale is a game based in Nihilism that wants you to think that it’s based in Existentialism, while simultaneously having elements of both. Oough okay here we go

The basic outline for Nihilism is that nothing matters and we’re all going to perish unceremoniously. In broader terms, everything and anything we do as human beings does not change anything, it doesn’t matter, we are bound to fate and there is no meaning to life - meaning is a social construct per se. 

Existentialism, however, was created in more optimistic direct opposition to Nihilism, saying that we make meaning. We are defined by our existence, in our actions, who we are, people must choose a direction and meaning in life. 

Undertale happens to juggle both of these with humor upon a polka-dotted unicycle with mirth in its eyes.

One of the coolest things about the Undertale is that its game mechanics are a very real part of the world. You die, you can reset, you can reset at any point whatsoever, whether you choose mercy or fight or both has a specified outcome, you have control. A few select characters know this, like Flowey and Sans, but they can’t really do anything to stop you if you’re determined enough because determination is in ALL human souls - the will to keep living and change fate. It is RIGHT THERE is the description, Existentialism, where we make meaning, where we are in control, where we can change fate because we are determined to make meaning. Everything matters because we think it does (which could also tie into trying to decipher the story and make sense of things where they are chaotic and unknowable, like the elusive W.D Gaster. That, and that’s what a lot of the games were striving for at the time - rewarding the player by making sense, for all the puzzle pieces to satisfyingly click together.)*

But no matter how you play the game, Genocide route or Neutral or Pacifist, no matter what you do, you always end up back in the underground. If Chara goes up to the surface and presumably murders everyone she sees or something along those lines, it all resets. If Flowey decimates you and does whatever he does, it all resets. If you die in a fight with a monster, if Asgore defeats you and uses your determination soul to break the surface barrier, if you do the morally correct thing and find a way to break the barrier so the monsters can be free from the underground’s confines, it all has to reset.

The Monsters cannot truly go back up to the surface, and neither can you. 

Everything you did, all that you accomplished to help them, to break the mold, or to betray them and slaughter them all (or just a select few,) as a whole, It did not matter. What’s more, you will likely reset, regardless of any ending. You may reset, again and again and again, perhaps to see what will happen because of human curiosity, mayhaps because its just a really good game, or perhaps to subconsciously get proper closure - but regardless of any of these, you always end up back in the underground. You cannot win, but isn’t that what games are for?

The only way to ‘win’ at this game is to never play it, really.

Undertale game mechanics are a very real part of the world built up around it and is a game that is self-aware in more ways than one - it knows what you do, it judges you for it, and it knows you cannot get out.

HOWEVER, like most things, there are two sides to that coin.

In all of this, you’re allowing yourself to have Determination - Hope. That’s what’s keeping you going as you claw and scrape your way through fights and levels of the story, what’s keeping you kind through the pacifist run (it takes a lot of effort to be kind sometimes, that’s not for nothing), that’s what’s keeping the Monsters going, the hope that they’ll see the surface again, that you can help, that again and again and again is hope. You are all in a perpetual state of hope.

Isn’t that an incredibly human thing to be?

Even better, that’s the games point. That we can come together, respect our differences and get along. Regardless of who we are, we are all bounded together by determination and hope. We can, and should care for each other, and learn and grow.

Heck, in the act of doing all this, we are making meaning, Cos’ we play games and everything feels alright for a bit.

“The human soul can be indomitable” Hell yeah it can.

[therecordconnection]

Ranting and Raving: "Telephone Line" by Electric Light Orchestra

In the early seventies, when the breakup of the Beatles was still fresh and still being mourned, many people asked who (or what) could ever replace them. Asking which group was the second coming of the Beatles is like asking for a definitive answer on what the Great American Novel is. You’ll get possible answers, but you’ll never get the answer. Of the various options I’ve heard in my lifetime, only two answers make sense. The first is everything Paul McCartney did with Wings in the seventies. 

The second answer is Electric Light Orchestra.

Jeff Lynne is the Beatles fanboy to end them all. He’s made it no secret. He’s lived out the fantasies that every Beatles lover could imagine. He’s played songs with three of them (never got to jam with John Lennon), he’s produced for George Harrison (the album Cloud Nine in 1987) and got to be in a band with him (Traveling Wilburys), he’s produced for Paul McCartney (songs on Flaming Pie in 1997), hell, he even got to produce the Beatles themselves when they reunited and brought John’s final demos to life (“Real Love” and “Free as a Bird” for Anthology in 1995). John even called ELO “Son of Beatles” during a radio interview in 1974. Lynne’s dream with ELO was to pick up where the Beatles left off with “I Am the Walrus” and he absolutely did.

There is no ELO without the Beatles, but I do think there are several ways Lynne stands out from the Lennon/McCartney model of songwriting. For starters, Lennon/McCartney started the Beatles with silly love songs like “Love Me Do,” “Please Please Me,” and “All My Loving.” It was only during the second half that they started writing about stranger things and getting weird with it. Lynne did the reverse. He started ELO with weird science-fiction and fantasy concepts. “Kuiama” is a song about a soldier trying to comfort an orphan girl while also having to be the one to explain he killed her parents. “From the Sun to the World” might be about the apocalypse. “Bluebird is Dead” is about somebody learning about and coming to terms with death because their bluebird is no longer moving. The entire Eldorado album tells a story of someone lost in dreams, going from dream world to dream world a la Quantum Leap in the hopes that they will find the mythical city of Eldorado. In short, the first few ELO albums are strange progressive rock that’s more in line with the sound of the Moody Blues, not the Beatles-inspired pop rock that would define their golden years.

The reason for all of this preamble is because “Telephone Line” is a pivotal moment in ELO’s story, both for their success and for Lynne as a songwriter. It’s when Lynne turned into a full on pop songwriter and his songs started focusing more on ordinary situations for ordinary people as opposed to the strange, almost otherworldly ideas that dominated the first ELO albums. It started with the album Face the Music in 1975, it was perfected the year after with A New World Record and “Telephone Line,” which might be one of Lynne’s best.

Jeff Lynne is a strange entity, both as a songwriter and as a guy. I wrote about his love for the Beatles and his connection to them because as a songwriter, he defies the Lennon/McCartney model because none of the songs are about him. At all. He would get inspired by things that happened in his real life, but he himself is never the subject of the song. No trace of the man is left on the page of his biggest hits. Like McCartney, he writes melodic, catchy, heartfelt songs and delivers them with love and sincerity. It’s a big reason why people still love the band so many years later. He’s good at what he does. However, McCartney also wears his heart on his sleeve and plenty of songs are about him. “Let It Be” famously came to him after he had a dream of his mother giving him advice while he was knee-deep in the rough final days of the Beatles. “Hey Jude” was famously written as a way to comfort Julian Lennon when his dad left his first wife for Yoko Ono. “Silly Love Songs” was a response to Lennon saying that silly love songs are the only kind of song he writes, with McCartney famously asking, “What’s wrong with that?” In short, a lot of lyrics to McCartney’s songs are personal to him in one way or another. John Lennon, on the other hand, rejected that. Words only mattered in the context of fitting into a song or what he was thinking about in a certain moment. It could be complete nonsense for all he cared. He once famously told a fan outside his door, “You just take words, and you stick them together and see if they have any meaning. Some of them do, some of them don't.” Lynne takes the best qualities of both Beatles. The words sound like they could be personal to him, but they’re just words to a song he wrote and they just happened to make a good song idea. Lynne himself talks about it in a radio show interview from 2001:

“Telephone Line” was like a song that was-- You know, I knew somebody, I knew a girl in America and I would phone her. But it was an imaginary story. I pictured a guy who phoned up this girl. And all he ever got was a ring tone, just rang out for days, y'know. And obviously he couldn't do that now. Somebody... some electronic thing would answer it and tell you to clear off or something. But this was just the loneliness of the long distance telephone call.

Whenever we fall in love with a song, we have a hunger to learn what the inspiration for it was. When lyrics to a song really resonate, we often want to learn what caused them to be written. People always wonder what Uncle Joey on Full House did to warrant Alanis Morrisette to write a song like “You Oughta Know.” People debated like Ancient Greek philosophers trying to figure out who Carly Simon wrote “You’re So Vain” about. We care about the performer behind the song, whether it matters or not. Tina Turner didn’t write “What’s Love Got to Do With It?”, but she may as well have, due to the way she performs it and the details of her abusive marriage to Ike Turner fitting the lyrics so well. ELO remains lyrically interesting due to Jeff Lynne remaining a sort of mystery man. We’re talking about a guy who hasn’t been seen in public or on stage without sunglasses on for close to forty years! The reason being that if you ever saw Jeff Lynne’s eyes you would probably start seeing those colors that only shrimp can see. He also has a habit of explaining his songs much in the way that Paul McCartney does, which is to say that he says something about how the song got written, but what he says usually doesn’t explain a hell of a lot.

I talk about the impersonalness of Lynne because I think that helps to illustrate what a great performer he is. “Telephone Line” is fantastic. Every note of it. I can’t think of another song where loneliness has been expressed in a more melancholic, wistful, and almost desperate manner. There’s so many little moments that make this song so wonderful. That keyboard in the beginning that’s mimicking a phone being dialed. Those sad, glittery keyboard notes that lead into the verses. The way the first verse sounds like Lynne is singing from an answering machine. The way the drum beat comes in after Lynne says “Hey” and begins the second verse. The way those gorgeous strings fill the empty spaces between Lynne’s lyrics and follow the lead of his vocal melody. It’s all so wonderful. There’s a reason Lynne got inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame. A New World Record is also around the time he really perfected the production side of ELO. This song still sounds fantastic even now. That vocal harmony and blending of Lynne and bassist/vocalist Kelly Groucutt during the chorus is just wonderful. Lynne gets a lot of credit for ELO, but I think he still needs a nod on his production work. You don’t get to produce for the likes of the Beatles, Tom Petty, Roy Orbison, and Del Shannon unless you know what you’re doing. Compare this to the first couple ELO albums, where Lynne was just stacking layers of instruments on top of each other, to this and the difference is night and day. This entire song is a musical treasure from one of the best that was just entering the top of his game.

Similar songs on this topic, like New Edition’s “Mr. Telephone Man” and “Misunderstanding” by Genesis, don’t work the same way. It’s mostly because they’re too poppy and you immediately know why the girl isn’t answering. For New Edition, it’s because she’s cheating and in the case of Genesis, it’s because the person trying to be reached isn’t dating the narrator. Lynne keeps the nature of the relationship ambiguous and the song is better for it. It’s clear that he’s singing to a person he was dating or at least romantically involved with (“Don’t you realize the things we did we did / Were all for real? Not a dream”) but this phone call could be coming from a one night stand or an ex he hasn’t spoken to in months. Up to you to decide. Whatever the case, Lynne delivers those first lines with such longing, such care, sadness, and desperation that you can’t help but want to root for him. It’s such an earnest way to start.

Hello, how are you?  Have you been alright through all those lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely  Lonely nights? That's what I'd say  I'd tell you everything if you'd pick up that telephone

You don’t know what happened between these two people, but you know that he’s at least trying to make an effort to fix it. It’s unclear whether he’s singing this song to an answering machine, or he’s just holding the phone to his ear and hearing a telephone ring endlessly. Either way, it’s tragic. It’s also a place all of us have been at one time or another. Things happen and we try desperately to call (or text, in the modern world) and fix things but the person on the other side of the line just lets it ring (or ignores it or blocks you). A lesser song would pick anger as the driving emotion for the song or just make the whole thing sad and have it revolve around a relationship that has ended. Instead, Lynne goes for a scenario where two people are separated, but the relationship can still be saved if they both work together and talk it out. This is highlighted in the chorus when he sings, “I’m living in twilight.” 

“Telephone Line” isn’t a love song, but it isn’t a break up song either. It’s something much worse: an inbetween song. It’s a song that represents the worst moments that come with the end of a relationship: the ones where you know things aren’t looking good and it’ll probably end in despair and heartbreak, but something inside you still wants to fight for it. Something inside you wants things to work out and you don’t care how sad and desperate you might sound trying to save it because it’s the only thing that matters in that moment. The ringing of the telephone represents those moments in time where you’re trying to save something, but the other person has given up. The endless ringing is “the hint,” that (hopefully) clear sign that you should give up and accept that things are over. There’s genuine melancholy to “Telephone Line” and I think Lynne strikes that wonderful balance between “someone who desperately wants to fix a broken relationship they still see hope for” and “pathetic loser who won’t take a hint and looks foolish for continuing to try.” The final verse of the song illustrates this balance wonderfully.

Okay, so no one's answering  Well, can't you just let it ring a little longer, longer, longer?  I'll just sit tight, in shadows of the night  Let it ring forevermore

He accepts that this isn’t working, but he’s still not ready to give up because the hope that maybe the other person will answer is still driving him to try. One of the reasons I think this song has lasted is due to how we all have stories of losing friends, loved ones, romantic partners, etc. because they simply stopped talking to us. Sometimes it’s because we’re in the wrong, sometimes we’re given no reason and we’re left to figure out what happened. Regardless, Lynne took that relatable situation and he spun it into ELO’s first single that went Gold. 

Whatever the outcome of this song is, we’ll never know. The song ends with the chorus repeated until fade out. We end up living in twilight the same way that the narrator is. The song will always be stuck in that inbetween. If we’re lucky, we’ll hear it ring forever more.

[pheonix561]

Look, I'm a psych nurse for a living, and this person's conception of psychiatry is just straight wrong.

The biggest mistake people make about psychiatry is assuming that a diagnosis is an invalidation. That if you've been diagnosed with depression, it means a doctor looked at you and said "The problem isn't with everything else, the problem is with you." That's not true. This field is way less "What's wrong with you," and way more "What's happened to you?"

A diagnosis works in a lot of different ways. For example, this other comment about depression and biology,

However, when we say that depression (for example) is not a disease we mean that there is no biological entity---no infectious pathogen, no 'chemical imbalance', no organic lesion, no anatomical defect or physiological malfunction---that is identifiable as a single cause or correlate of depressed states, nor will there ever be.

Is just completely false! Ever seen someone get smacked in the head hard enough that their personality changes forever, and they're just way easier to make angry or miserable for the rest of their life, even after accounting for and treating any resulting PTSD? Ever seen someone develop depression as a result of a brain tumor they never knew they had, in the total absence of other cancer symptoms, and then have the tumor excised, and miraculously their depression is gone? Even after accounting for any kind of cancer-based existential crisis that may have resolved? Physical pathologies occur in or to the brain that cause depression to develop in people, just like they can cause mania, or other symptoms. It happens! And this is to say nothing of the way someone who's survived trauma's brain chemistry becomes altered.

I won't go into further detail on that, because I'm not a physician. I would rather let any of the psychiatrists who prowl tumblr give any more specific examples. But, I still work closely with doctors, and am expected to know that a diagnosis is often also a rule-out; Saying someone has one diagnosis is frequently the same as saying they don't have a different one. That's what doctors are talking about when they talk about "differential diagnosis." Someone will present with symptoms of depression of some kind, and doctors will set about trying to determine the cause. Off the top of my head, in psychiatric diagnoses, common differential diagnoses would be between bipolar-1 and bipolar-2, along with psychosis from substance abuse, schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder, severe depression with psychotic symptoms... All presentations I see pretty regularly at work, and all of which suffer from psychosis as some part of their disease course. I know we're talking about depression here but I"m just busting this answer out.

But hey, that whole answer I just gave is about responding to the notion of a "single cause," or a "physical cause" being impossible, and that there's plenty of pretty great reasons why somebody might be depressed. That's also completely true, and something anyone working in the field is expected to know! In fact, its so simple to understand that I busted out my old digital psych nursing textbook that talks about it in the first damn chapter.

The first thing anyone learns about psychiatry in nursing school is the nature of stress; that that's the key thing, the basic reason why anxiety disorders, psychotic disorders, substance abuse disorders, etc, are all pathological; they cause stress. This being the first chapter of this book, it goes into detail explaining different theories of exactly how to define and explain stress, which sounds easy until you try it.

And god, I'd love to explain this whole chapter because I love talking about stress theory and psychiatric nursing theory, but if I do that I'll never finish writing anything. Long story short, the "Stress as a transaction between the individual and the environment" chapter goes

precipitating event.

Let's say a person loses their job.

2. individual's perception of the event.

Did they like the job? They might be depressed. Did they hate the job? They might be happy about it. Did they need the job? They might be scared for their life. After all, was the job their only key to rent? Health insurance? Do they have other job options? What will they do until then?

The first half of that, the "does this event matter to me or not," Half, is the "Primary appraisal." The second half, "What options and coping skills do I have," is the "secondary appraisal." This version of understanding stress is usually the one that I lean on in my practice as a nurse, but I digress.

3. Predisposing factors.

This is actually measuring the response to the event, despite the name "predisposing." Factors here being Genetic influences (say, prone to anger), Past experiences(prior experience with sudden loss, or lack thereof), existing conditions (rent is due when? How much money is in the bank account?)

There's more in this chapter on simple stress management and non pharmacological interventions, which in this example I've been making up, could range from "listen to calming music" to "getting a new, better job." But the point I want to come back to is that, at no point in this, or really at any point in this book, or my experience in this field both as a patient or as a clinician, have I seen psychiatry used to "blame" someone! Which is even weirder because what the fuck is this??

i think it's overly credulous to the psychiatric profession to assert that calling something a disease means that no one can 'blame the patient' for it. in fact i would say it would be difficult to name a disease that doctors, state authorities, and society at large does NOT blame on patients.

This answer is just complete nonsense. People get diseases all the goddamn time out of the fucking blue. Whether they're born with them as a result of a genetic whoopsie, or just spontaneously develop them as they grow, it happens. I simply cannot wrap my head around the notion that I would blame someone for having cystic fibrosis, or cerebral palsy. Any clinician, in any position, who does that, is definitely a weirdo, and an outlier, and doesn't need to be a clinician.

When I first entered this field, I was really worried that maybe there was some kernel of truth to the things people sometimes say about the practice. But since entering this field, I've learned psychiatry is not a field of being one of the state's ways of coldly manipulating disenfranchised people into being governable. It's way more accurate to say it's a field about trying very hard to help sick people, and wanting the state to either give us more resources with which to do it right, or fuck off.

People would still experience depression in a post-capitalist world. They would still develop schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder, and dementia. People would still suffer TBI's. People would still develop personality disorders. Medications still might be magic cures for one patient and seemingly useless to another. And, I've treated just enough psychotic patients from africa to comfortably theorize that the notion that schizophrenia is just a "western culture" thing is probably completely bogus. Psychiatry is the practice of trying to help all these people live their lives, not make them conform.

Hey, I've been delving into anti psychiatry readings but one thing always stands out to me: if there is no underlying disease behind a depressive state, for example, how does that new paradigm not end up placing the blame on the patient? I ask in good faith as I still don't have a clear answer on that regard, and would like to have better conversations about this topic that don't end when people tell me of a close relative with depression who has seemingly had a life free of traumas that could otherwise present as depression.

-materialist (marxist) anti psychiatry identifies the root 'cause' or basis of psychological experiences in the economic and material conditions of existence. depression or other forms of distress, just like other affective states, derive fundamentally from the world we live in, our political situation, the material alienation of estranged labour that underlies 'alienation' the psychological state. this doesn't mean that resolving the contradictions of capitalism (that is, workers' revolution) will magically eliminate all sources of distress, depression, or other currently pathologised experiences. however, it would certainly resolve / eliminate some distress for some people; additionally, it is the only way to overcome the capitalist paradigm that values people by their adherence to a normative standard of ability, which is what renders depressed people (for example) economically marginalised 'failed citizens'

-keeping the above in mind, i would question whether there is really such thing as a person who 'has no trauma' ie, has no material basis for alienation, depression, or distress. capitalism is an estranging system, including for the owner class (though of course this occurs in a different way to the labouring class, and i am not suggesting that the bourgeoisie are the 'victims' of capitalism or some such)

-none of the above is mutually exclusive with the role that an individual's neurobiology plays in their subjective or psychological state. like any base/superstructure phenomenon, the relationship is dialectical, with the material base generally dominating, but both acting on and being affected by superstructural phenomena. economic and material conditions lead to subjective experiences such as depressions; these experiences are also instantiated in, reacting to, and reacted upon by the physiological processes in the brain/body. however, when we say that depression (for example) is not a disease we mean that there is no biological entity---no infectious pathogen, no 'chemical imbalance', no organic lesion, no anatomical defect or physiological malfunction---that is identifiable as a single cause or correlate of depressed states, nor will there ever be; the psychiatric label is a heuristic catch-all applied to a constellation of experiences (symptoms) that are varying degrees of disagreeable to individuals (patients) as well as to medical and state authorities

-i think it's overly credulous to the psychiatric profession to assert that calling something a disease means that no one can 'blame the patient' for it. in fact i would say it would be difficult to name a disease that doctors, state authorities, and society at large does NOT blame on patients

-i also think it's overly credulous to the psychiatric profession to assert that there is a dichotomy between neurobiological diseases and things that are individual faults or failings. in fact i would posit that most subjective experiences, including of distress, are neither

[alpaca-clouds]

Digimon Adventure 02 THE BEGINNING | Some thoughts on the retcons

It is still kinda magical to me. Today is the official release of Digimon Adventure 02 The Beginning and me, in Germany, actually could see it on releaseday in cinema, instead of waiting like a year for it to make its way to either BluRay or ovr to Germany in general.

So, yeah, I just came back from Cinema and... I sure have thoughts.

Like in general: It was a very fine movie. Not great. But good enough. Felt more like an OVA, to be honest, and be it just because of the very short runtime. But... It was the first time since 2001 that I saw a Digimon movie in cinema. And did I start crying on the opening credits? You bet I did.

But... That's not what I wanna talk about. I wanna talk about the retcons.

Because boy, did the movie retcon a lot of stuff. I mean, technically it retconned basically the entire Adventure-verse base lore, the reason for the Chosen Children and of course the epilogue.

Also it completely retconned Digimon Adventure tri. - which, let's be honest, was probably the best call on their end.

Let me talk under the cut, just to make sure nobody gets spoiled who does not want to get spoiled.

So, the movie basically retcons the entire thing about the first chosen children (aka the stuff that tri. basically is build around), by... mostly ignoring they existed or at least moving them much, much closer to the events of Digimon Adventure, than what tri. had imagined.

Now the entire reason for the chosen children existing is, that one child made a wish in 1996, the wish leading to the events of the very first movie - and that of course leading to everything else within the timeline.

The child of course is the "first chosen child" the movie is about, Rui. This child per chance - or maybe in an attempt of the universe to create balance (more about that in a moment) - got partnered with Ukkumon, a Digimon that is at least implied to be linked to the Homeostasis. At least Ukkumon can make strong wishes into a reality. And Rui wishes to have friends who are like him. And because he is partnered with a Digimon, Ukkumon makes it that other children get partnered with Digimon, so that there are more children like Rui.

And, yeah, that one wish leads to everything else, to more and more children being paired with Digimon partners - until eventually every person on the world has a Digimon partner (which is what the epilogue said after all).

Now, I find the story with Rui interesting under the idea of balance.

Because... Well, the homeostasis is always kinda ill defined and runs into the same problems like Star Wars (like, yeah, Anakin brought balance to the force, just not in the way the Jedi expected). The show itself barely explains it, the novels go a bit more into it, then tri. is very chaotic about it and... that was it.

But in a way the situation with Rui seems to be very much about balance. Because you have this child, who is poor, whose father is comatose, who gets beaten and abused by a clearly overworked mother. And this child, who really has anything imaginable thrown at him, he gets his wishes fulfilled. Which weirdly enough brings a bit more balance into the world, right?

It is an interesting concept to use the homeostasis for. Way more interesting than "dark vs light".

Weirdly enough it also kinda fits very well with the idea behind the Adventure children, who were back then created around the idea of "children struggling with real world problems". While nobody is abused like Rui, they are mostly very much struggling. So, yeah, they are a lot like Rui in that regard.

It is also kinda funny. Digimon Adventure 02 went very strong originally (especially in the finale) on the "the digital world as a vehicle to fulfill wishes", which this again also takes up. And in a weird way the epilogue also took up in a ridiculous way. With the kids not only fulfilling their dreams, but doing it to a frankly stupid amount. Like, they do not only do what they wanted to do as kids, they are literally the most successful at it (except Miyako, who does not get a dream, she just gets to produce babies, ugh).

This also gets toned down here. While for the most part the chosen career paths are still mostly the same (with the big exception of Miyako) to what we saw in the epilogue, they are no longer "the best" in it. Daisuke just makes ramen, he does not need to have a worldwide ramen franchise, you know?

But yeah. There is of course the big one. In the epilogue every human has a Digimon partner. And... Well, Digimon Adventure 02 released in Germany in 2001. While I already knew the ending from the Japanese run (because I got first access to the internet, just two weeks before Digimon Tamers released in Japan), I do very much remember coming home from school on 9/11, wanting to watch Digimon and... well, 9/11 being on every single TV channel. So, one of my first thoughts even as a child was: "Wait, everyone gets a Digimon? Even the terrorists?" And I also wondered about the people, who do not want a Digimon.

Which very much is what this movie lands on, when they face the possibility of every person getting a Digimon partner.

Weirdly enough my adult self, 20 years later, is a lot less world weary, than my 12yo self. Because as an adult seeing this part of the epilogue retconned, I cannot help but wonder: "But maybe it would have been good, if everyone had a partner? Maybe it would have helped heal people?" But that might just be my idealism talking there.

So, yeah. It is a bit bittersweet to see this ending, that very much feels like a definite ending. (And really, I hope it is. Like, I know Digimon Adventure prints money, but maybe... just... let's move on?)

I don't know. I have a lot of complicated feelings right now about this, I have to say.

Just needed to ramble about this, I feel.

[project-sentinels]

Who is Edwin Leyendecker? (Part 2)

The Character Map

When conceptualizing Edwin's character, I've tried to use LocalScriptMan's Character Map as a baseline.

Pretty much all of the strategies for character development that I've seen and tried don't really click for me, but the Character Map seems to at least make some amount of sense. Focusing on not only what drives the character, but what in particular has shaped the character to drive in the way they do, at bear minimum, naturally creates dynamics in the character's story.

So, here's Edwin's:

But here's the thing... I'm not really happy with this. Edwin, to my mind, feels dominated by this one note in a way that I really want to avoid. And maybe this is an issue with the format, which is built on that single "Core Urge" that drives a character. I'm not fully convinced, though, that the format is to blame.

Character Struggles

I have always found characters difficult to fully define. I'm not sure what it is about character-centric work that is so difficult for me. I enjoy many pieces of media that are focused on complex characters and their development, growth, and eventual resolution (good or bad). But when it comes to sitting down and really nailing the question of "Who is this character?" in my own works, it's a fundamental struggle.

If I had to dissect it, part of it is definitely overthinking. People are, in a sense, one note creatures at any particular moment. It's the stringing of moments that creates depth, yet I do find I can fixate on parts rather than the whole. Maybe the question "Who is this character?" doesn't have a single answer, or even a spectrum of answers. Maybe it's an answer matrix with such a compounding variety of solutions based on all sorts of factors. That, in itself, is probably also overthinking, but in the opposite direction.

I also think I struggle with developing characters because my approach is both ineffective and underinformed. All my creative life I've focused on grand institutions and big concepts. I have so many ways to define the nuances of political systems and so many words to distill down organizational governance into satisfactory and informative descriptions.

In many ways, those sorts of things are like people, because they're made up of people. Governments have interests, goals, flaws, perspectives. When a religious body or corporation or book club makes a decision, the way it does that can often reflect how an individual does so. The way that organs work in a political system is often a macrocosm of how a person goes about their lives.

But there are differences, too. Major ones. For one, while large systems can be fundamentally flawed and engage in bad behaviors, there's a certain impulsivity and irrationality in human actions that don't have a good analog at the large-scale level. Often, when something truly sudden and illogical happens in a government, that derives from the actions of a particularly powerful individual within. By and large, the actions of large bodies is an amalgam of decisions by those who exist inside them, which is something that takes time to synthesize and define. Whereas erratic actions are almost always tied back to a single character, and are explained by that character's own internalities rather than the dynamics of the group.

So, in short: what is familiar is not necessarily the same.

Where does this leave Edwin?

This is probably something that just needs guided practice, but it can be difficult. I've been trying to think about who Edwin is for the last month. It's a major reason why I've started putting all my thoughts here, to try and get rid of the brain crack and open up room to try and work through this issue as new bubbles float to the surface.

For now, though, I do have the Character Map as a stopgap as I discuss with people. So it does have some utility, there, even if I'm not particularly pleased with it. I'm hoping discussion and these posts can really help me nail down this guy, because he is kind of important to the entire thing.

Though, maybe Edwin can only be defined through action, by writing about him in the moment and allowing my brain to do its thing without the frontal lobe getting in the way. That might be a strategy to try?

[joeabdelsater2]

Live Brief - V

In this part of the blog, I explain the process by which I am writing a detailed script for the cutscene and the gameplay that precedes and follows it.

In this stage, the story had to be defined into a fixed narrative, so a script was needed to materialise it. Luca began by writing a short and simple proposal for the dialogue which I took into consideration in order to write a more detailed script that also included the gameplay parts which came before and after the cutscene.

I came across this YouTube video https://youtu.be/thUhPT2CC4A which helped a lot in learning how to write a professional script in terms of dialogues. However, I did end up customising the formatting to my liking as I valued efficiency over conventions.

To make sure the story was consistent, I added narration so that the dialogue was not understood in a subjective manner by the reader, and all team members shared the same objective perspective. I also added emotional cues in parentheses after the names of characters so that concept artists who were in charge of developing a storyboard and people who acted in the motion capture animation were able to portray feelings and personalities accurately.

Reference:

Standard Story Company (2022). Write better dialogue in 8 minutes. YouTube. [online video] Available at: https://youtu.be/thUhPT2CC4A.