#correct yourself if you've misgendered

[bellaxgiornata]

I'm just making a general statement that isn't meant to come across as rude, aggressive, or to make anyone feel singled out/attacked, but please heed the pronouns someone may have listed on their blog. They're there for a reason.

I know earlier today @souliebird made a brief post announcing their pronouns which have always been listed on their blog. It was never a secret. They were not trying to call anyone out, hurt anyone's feelings, or asking for apologies. It was just a polite request to be referred to properly and a clarification for those who may not have looked at their blog and saw that. It was getting upsetting for them to be misgendered and instead of needing to correct multiple people, they figured they'd make a single post to make it more widely known. It wasn't meant for anything other than that, so please do not feel the need to make apologies or make it anything other than what it was. Some of the attention from a simple ask to have pronouns respected has been overwhelming and not necessarily friendly.

I know this community is full of wonderful people so I'm hoping y'all will be respectful and not rude. We're all here to connect over the same fandom and to have an escape from reality, so please be kind and think before you speak. If you've misgendered someone, just please correct yourself in the future, that's all that is being asked.

Just spread the love instead of the hate, y'all ❤️ And please don't create drama where there isn't any. That's it.

[ursaius]

Hey so,

Claudia well now they go by Serenity, are talking about you on their Instagram. Some people are sending them anonymous questions to which they reply to by posting a story. Which are:

1. Someone asked how they were doing about the whole situation with you and they said “ Fine. I have lots of friends who don’t agree with him letting ppl just disrespect me and doxx me so I feel better about allowing myself to be angry about it now.”

2. Someone said that they had the right to be angry but so do you considering what they did to you and how they’re lacking accountability and how their friends are enabling them so this was their response:

“ I don’t control how my friends feel about the situation so..”

“for months” it was literally two months…I have no more accountability to take I took it all already??? I apologized to him both publicly and privately and he decided to take it to the internet?? My friends aren’t enabling anything their simply sticking up for me for being harassed and doxxed hope this helps”

“Him allowing ppl to doxx and misgender me is also hurtful and far more morally wrong than me catfishing him hope this helps”

I would also like to mentioned that they posted a screenshot of a convo with someone on their insta story and they were talking about how they were feeling anxious and paranoid and that they didn’t want to go out. And they captioned it “ literally may god himself take me out if I ever feel sad over a butch who made me paranoid to leave my own house”

And lastly on the anonymous questions they reply to on their story someone anonymously told them this and they agreed to what the person said:

“ people STILL trying to claim you not taking accountability like you didn’t write a five page apology to his ass. He is not traumatized or severely hurt by this if he’s already with someone new! His ass is fine. He is not being harassed or doxxed leave serene alone. Stop defending this white person he is no saint. And that’s so clear to see when he’s willingly putting a poc life in danger”

Another person said this as well which serenity also agreed with:

“People caring more about u catfishing him than him being the one not taking accountability and letting ppl doxx and misgender u says a lot..they’ll always defend the white person even when they’re the ones being malicious”

That’s all, I just thought I should let you know because it’s absolutely crazy that they’re telling their followers that you’re the bad guy here?? When they’re the ones that deliberately hurt you. And they claim to take accountability but what they have been posting on their insta stories says completely otherwise. And they are trying to turn this on you and saying you put them in harms way or are letting people do things to them. As if you have any control of what others do. Idk how the hell they managed to turn this all on you but it’s ridiculous. And they’re also saying that they’re the ones who are angry now. And the worst thing is that they are saying you’re morally wrong or a bad person. Like what??? I just had to share this with you bc it’s literally insane and they’re accusing you of things you didn’t do.

Anyway I’m sorry this person is literally saying all these things about you. And letting others say those things as well, it’s so messed up after all they have done to you and others.

I hope you’re doing well, sending love <3🫂

Literally no one doxxed them. Like at all ever. So that's very funny that they're using a lie they made up to make themselves the victim. And trying to downplay the shit they did to me and once again I am not the only victim here. I'm just the loudest. They also victimized Jess and Lottie by literally stealing their identities. The only reason they're trying to paint me as being the solo victim in all this is because I'm white so it's easier to paint the white person harassing the poc. The way they're deliberately avoiding talking about Jes and Lottie makes this obvious. And also I don't know what pronouns Claudia is using at the moment for all I knew they could have switched and starting using she/her I wasn't stalking their account and checking every five seconds. And given they have a history of using pronouns sets from people they're pretending to be this could have very well been the case. But still I haven't ever misgendering Claudia. And I don't owe Claudia more than that I literally fucking hate you and I hope you burn in hell I'm not gonna unlock you every five seconds to check what fucking pronouns your using to correct someone in an ask telling me that your trying to frame me as an aggressor. Get over yourself and grow up. No one fucking doxxed you. You were fucking lying about where your loved and people just said you could live in Arkansas or you could live in Montreal. That's not fucking doxxing. Posting someone's address is doxxing. You just want something to cling to. And assuming I'm overing it and not struggling because I have a new partner is hilarious ooh sorry I have people that love me I still tried to drown myself last month but thanks for that assumption. I'm still experiencing extreme bouts of hallucinating and I'm constantly scared for my life. But yeah no I'm totally fine and obviously not struggling because you someone know that despite what little I post about what I actually do with myself. And about me taking accountability for fucking what exposing what a fucked up person you are sure I'll take accountability for that. That's me I did that. I told everyone how youve been catfishing for years and how you pretended to be Jess since January even though you lied about it saying it was only since April. I told everyone you were confronted by Jes and told to stop in JUNE you said you would but you but you continue to do it anyway and you blocked her. I told everyone about some of the fucked up shit you did to Charlotte including claiming to have her first and legal last name. Including race faking as a mixed Latino Mexican/Filipino just so you could claim Latin cultures and imitate Lottie even more. Copy and pasting Charlottes post and trying to claim them as your own. Gaslighting everyone into thinking Lotties the crazy one when they made a post about you. To name a few of the fucked up things you've done. Claudia you've made three different people paranoid and afraid to leave their houses because you can't leave us the fuck alone.

And I even stated specifically before that no one should be trying to dox anyone and that's illegal so idk why your 1. Trying to pretend that even happened 2. Trying to frame me

And to anyone trying to act like they know me or anything hey fuck you. I don't talk about my mental health a lot here but I suffer from a lot I'm not well and I'm missing bolts. When I'm stressed or suffering emotionally I have visual and auditory hallucinations, I have depression and anxiety typical for a Tumblr user I know. I have bipolar and either some form of ADHD or ADD but I've not gotten tested because I don't have health insurance. So don't go around assuming I'm doing alright because I have a partner and I'm not posting about how I wanna kill myself every five minutes. I'm not out here throwing pity parties and trying to get everyone to feel sympathy for me. I don't need to anyone with common sense can see what Claudia did was wrong the way they went about it and tried to avoid taking responsibility for it and changing their identity once again just so they could avoid being associated with it is proof. If Claudia wants to paint me as some villain in his attempt to feel like he's not the world biggest douche than by God let the poor fucker I don't care. I mean I care a little but there's literally nothing I can about it because he has a victim complex.

[oro-junestar]

To all my trans friends

To all my trans friends who are feeling hopeless... To all my trans friends who have been beaten, ridiculed, and forced back into the closet... To all my trans friends who have been told to 41% themselves... To all my trans friends who have grown popular and faced inevitable death threats, bomb threats, and harassment... To all my trans friends who don't pass and are frequently misgendered... To all my trans friends who DO pass and are frequently misgendered... To all my trans friends who are intersex, whose parents and doctors assigned them the wrong sex and tried to "fix" them... To all my trans friends who have been called "trans-trenders"... To all my trans friends who have been attacked by gatekeepers because they "aren't trans enough", or "are making a mockery of real issues"... To all my trans friends who don't have the resources or support to transition... To all my trans friends who have been legislated away by their home states or countries... To all my trans friends who have been told your gender doesn't exist and is entirely delusion... To all my trans friends whose families and communities have disowned them... To all my trans friends who are often given dirty looks and snarky remarks... To all my trans friends who have been told they're not allowed in their rightful space... To all my trans friends who have been filmed and photographed without their consent... To all my trans friends who have been used as a tool to spread right-wing lies... To all my trans friends who have been denied life-saving medical treatment... To all my trans friends who feel ashamed, unsafe, and isolated in their own community... To all my trans friends who are living relatively comfortably but who often hear about the suffering of other trans friends... To all my trans friends who have been impacted by the harm done to or death of another trans friend... To all my trans friends who have cis friends or family who just don't understand... To all my trans friends whose struggle is so bad, it makes them feel physically ill... To all my trans friends who feel unwanted, who are sick of life and want to escape it all... To all my trans friends who have been denied their dreams... To all my trans friends whose feelings are hard to put into words... To all my trans friends who feel a cold, heavy weight in their heart... To all my trans friends everywhere around the world... You are not alone. Keep speaking your voice; someone, somewhere, will hear you. Keep fighting for your rights, and I will be right there fighting by your side. I would give my own life if it meant all of you could live safely and happily. It's not that easy, though, so I will keep living to shine as a beacon of hope. Our right to exist peacefully is backed by history, scientific and academic consensus, the ever-changing field of culture and linguistics, by our self-evident rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and by God's love for all humans equally. According to every philosophy they try to weaponize against us, we are correct. We are on the side of truth, no matter how many hypocrites call us delusional or selfish. Love wins. Love always wins. Love is the fundamental value of the transgender journey; loving yourself, loving your community, and loving everything that is dear to you drives you to listen to your heart and achieve your true self. And I love you for that, so much. You are much braver, stronger, and more beautiful than you realize. You've been through so much, fought so hard, and I'm so proud of you. Keep being you, always.

[neopronouns-in-action]

This is a poll.

Poll question:

Do you think that editing posts where you've misgendered someone to correct the misgendering, *after explicitly being asked to do so*, is a requirement for being a true ally to trans and nonbinary people, and other gender outlaws? Please read all options before choosing.

Options:

1: No, leaving the misgendering is fine as long as you don't do it on new posts

2: No, because other people's feeling shouldn't police how you run your own blog

3: No, because misgendering isn't a big deal and fixing it is a waste of time

4: No, you should keep misgendering people to hold yourself accountable

5: Yes, because more people will be hurt the longer you misgender someone

6: Yes, you were asked to fix them, so you should to respect people's feelings

7: Yes, leaving the misgendering in place when you know better is disrespectful

8: Yes, because misgendering people is wrong. End of discussion.

9: No you should keep misgendering people out of spite for being asked to fix it

Edit for clarity: Keep in mind! You have *explicitly* been asked to edit the specific posts where you are misgendering someone. The posts are new, not even a week old, and editing all of them would take less than ten minutes total. It probably wouldn't even take five. That's how easy it'd be.

**Edit for clarity:

The "misgendering people is wrong, end of discussion" option excludes when you are asked to misgender someone for their own safety. I would have put that in, but tumblr's character limit for poll answers is annoyingly limited.

For this question, imagine that the posts where someone is being misgendered are only a day old, not months or years or even weeks. It would take literally less than ten minutes for all of the posts to be corrected.

I added multiple yes options so people could pick whichever of the main reason they would be picking at the moment, I promise it's not a trick question. It would have just felt weird if there were multiple no options and only one yes option.

There is no wrong yes answer, pick whichever one you feel is the most important consideration for this scenario.

=====Results (rounded/aproximate):

Overall:

92.7%, or 749 out of 807 voters said yes, that editing posts where you've misgendered someone, after being asked to edit them, is a basic requirement for being an ally to gender outlaws.

7.3%, or 59 out of 807 voters said no, editing posts, even when explicitly asked to do so to stop misgendering someone is not a requirement for being an ally to gender outlaws.

Specific options:

42 out of 807 voters said it's okay not to edit posts when asked to do so, as long as you don' misgender the person in the future.

9 out of 807 voters said it's okay not to edit posts where you misgender someone, even after being explicitly asked to do so, because other people's feelings shouldn't dictate how you run your blog.

1 out of 807 voters said that it's okay not to fix posts where you misgender someone, even after being explicitly asked to do so, because misgendering isn't a big deal, and fixing it is a waste of time

0 out of 807 said that you should continue misgendering people to hold yourself accountable

25 out of 807 voters said you should edit posts when asked to, because more people will be hurt the longer you misgender someone.

230 out of 807 voters said you should edit posts because you were asked to fix them, so you should fix them to respect people's feelings.

197 out of 807 voters said that leaving the misgendering in place when you know better is disrespectful

297 out of 807 voters said that you should edit the posts, because misgendering people is wrong, end of discussion.

4 out of 807 voters said that you should purposefully continue misgendering someone out of spite for being asked to correct yourself.

[plaidos]

The way you've talked to me here reminded me of The Narcissist's Prayer. I don't think you'll feel it's applicable, but it'll be good for people to see it either way, it's my go-to when talking to people about being treated in ways they don't yet understand as abusive. It meant a lot to me when I first read it, it was very hard to let go of the idea that it was my fault that I was being abused. I didn't have to be the only one seeing how bad things were, I could point at it and think, "This isn't unique to me":

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.

oh wow this is like tumblr hatemail jackpot. you look like such a jackass, and you probably don’t even know why.

anon, i’m going to be completely frank with you here:

it isn’t abuse to be mildly criticised by somebody you’re anonymously harassing in her inbox. it isn’t misgendering to doubt the anonymously claimed identity of a misogynist harasser parroting anti-feminist bunk. you have serially sent me half a dozen aggressive & inflammatory messages in the space of a half hour, because i posted some feminist posts on the internet. you are not being abused by being made fun of for doing that, and it’s not gaslighting to corrected about wrongly assumed something about somebody’s unstated internal thought process. especially if you happen to be harassing that person.

now anon YOU look deep inside yourself and ask yourself: “if it is not harassment when i anonymously send somebody repeated & aggressive messages, untrue accusations and other forms of hatemail, then when would it be harassment?”

or better yet, google “definition of harassment” and then fuck off when it returns a picture of a mirror.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas!!

one of my rlly close friends recently came out as trans and i want to support him

hes in a girls sch (he joined before realise he was trans) and i can tell hes rlly uncomfortable about it. where i live all the girls uniforms are skirts too so hes complained to me about the gender dysphoria a lot

his father knows and hes supportive of him, but he still hasnt came out to his mother and shes very openly homophobic.

also i keep accidentally misgendering him when i talk/type without thinking, and iw to stop it but idk how to

do you have any advice for him (and also for me to stop misgendering him in my head)

Hi!

It's so kind of you to want to support your friend!

Okay so as far as he's concerned- I don't think he should say anything to his mom yet. If she's openly homophobic, it could be a risk, especially if he's a minor (sound like he is). Maybe he should talk to his dad about options? When it comes to school...do they have pants as a uniform option? It would shock me if they didn't, even at a girls school. I mean, some girls don't like skirts, either, you know? Or like, it gets cold in the winter....he should ask if they have an alternative, and if they ask why, he can say he gets cold easily, or just doesn't like showing his legs (even cite religious reasons?) Also at school, if he's uncomfortable in the bathroom, the nurse usually has single-stalls, which can be helpful for using the restroom and changing for gym. He can even get his dad to write a note requiring the use of it of the school makes it a big deal.

As for you, you're trying super hard, and odds are, you've known your friend for a while. It takes a bit to change a habit you've built. So, every time you misgender him, just make sure to correct yourself. Don't make it a big deal, just say "she, I mean, he." it takes an average of two weeks to build or break a habit, so you'll find it easier over time. To help, practice when your friend isn't around. Type about him, talk about him to yourself or to a pet or stuffed animal. The more you practice, the easier it'll be to built that habit. You'll get there, I promise <3

Naming you papaya anon!

[velvetvexations]

(this is from yesterday so this entire thing is written out and just copy pasted in.)

The more I see how you've been treated by other trans people, the more hollow all the posts repeating variations of 'love all trans women! Listen to all trans women! Have kindness and grace for all trans women! Even the bad and ugly and annoying ones!' become to me.

One one hand, these posts almost without fail dissolve into active vitriol the moment someone (foolishly and naively) tries to mention any other kind of trans person, which the OPs often shut down and treat as insulting, hostile, nefarious or a deliberate attempt to take away (steal?) the kindness away from transfems (like it's a finite resource?)

On the other, I follow a lot more transfems than transmascs, meaning I got to see how some of them felt about it. The anecdote that lasered itself into my brain was seeing a butch trans woman saying she felt bitter and kinda hopeless sharing that kind of message because her experience was that not even other trans women had any kindness or grace for her.

And then how this has played out for you. You and another trans woman disagreed, and instead of saying 'you're annoying me and I disagree with your opinion' she presented you as misgendering her (it's apparently not enough that you use they/them by default to account for all the genderfuckery on Tumblr. How dare you not be clairvoyant.), she didn't care that you corrected yourself and told the person crawling out of the woodwork to talk shit about her to fuck off, she said you 'threatened to share' her nsfw account when you censored the url and told the anon to get lost, and blamed you for a shitstorm resulting from her saying something controversial.

Going further, you get that asshole demanding you 'give the URL of your transfem mutuals'. It reminds me of how everyone, including other transfems, were screaming at Tumblr's CEO to show 'proof' that predstrogen had said or done something worthy of being banned. And it's just... Does anyone hear themselves? Why is everyone okay demanding personal or potentially intimate information about transfems for the sake of 'proof?' Why do you have to hand off the URLs of people you know so some asshole can presumably judge them and dismiss them for not being good enough? Does no one else find it insane that it's okay to bulldoze transfem's privacy for the sake of 'proof'?

Is this why those positivity posts are so often structured like commands? So that everyone can nod their head and pat their backs self righteously for doing the 'right thing' of passing this command along to the unspecified OTHER meant to ACTUALLY work on treating transfems better? Did everyone press the reblog button to look good or something? I thought everyone, trans people included, agreed that the point was tangibly and personally putting in some effort to do better?

I always internalised those posts as a rallying cry to do better, all of us, but it seems like it's played out as an excuse for people to use personal pain to justify lashing out and pushing the DOING better part onto 'someone else'.

Yeah, like. So much of it just comes off as virtue signaling? I recently got accused of being an anti-SJW for using that term lol but that's an actual thing that actually happens. It's so performative. It's theory.

And it really does frustrate me that I can't take those posts seriously. Regardless of what anyone else thinks, I have serious chest thumping anxiety about the constant, terrifying situation we're all in. We as in "me as well". So I want to take comfort in those posts that are about how the OP will support trans women with their dying breath, I did take comfort in those posts, but then I look for five seconds on OP's blog and find ten posts about transandro bros and I want to never hear someone say they support me ever again because they're all fucking snakes and their support is completely worthless to me.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/730572795212398592/what-is-up-with-all-the-trans-men-on-this-hellsite?source=share

As a trans man, I might have some insight into this one. I'm a lot older than the standard uwu sparkle anti, but I was in my mid twenties for the first wave of weirdness about trans boys on Tumblr about a decade ago, so I was just too old for it then, and I saw a lot of guys my age and a little younger get swept up in it.

OTNF rightly points out that young trans men are a particularily vulnerable demographic. This is part of it, but we're also a demographic that doesn't sit comfortably with our identites (gender identities or otherwise) and are told by everyone (on every side) that we are Doing It Wrong, that our existence harms others, and that we must be this specific way to be good people.

I'm sure you've seen the "trans men are better than real cis men" rhetoric. It's meant to be inclusive and to reassure us that we're not bad people just because of our gender, but it also denies us our entire gender identity.

So basically, you've got a bunch of young guys, most of whom were socialised like girls and learned to never be too assertive, many of whom are straight up suffering from dysphoria and stress, being told by people both within and outside of their communities that the are Wrong and Bad and Harmful just for existing. It makes sense that a lot of them would would find a movement based on moral posturing that will accept them if they perform correctly and will use their real name and pronouns. That's what Antis are; they say "use this vocabulary, send hate mail to that person, put these terms in your DNI, don't be caught reading that story", and, unlike other groups that police people's tastes and performance that hard, they're not overtly hostile to trans identities. So you can spout the right rhetoric, use the right tumblr icon, and they will actually accept you (on the surface, for a time, but we're talking about young and desperate people who aren't looking at the long game).

Helping them harass those badwrong horrible NOTP shippers or aces or middle aged women or some random artist who got caught drawing the wrong age gap or whoever is the fashionable target will prove that you aren't a horrible monster for being a man, you're moral and upright and correct.

And yes a lot of it is internalised misandry (that word has a lot of dumb baggage, but how else can I describe a boy who hates himself for being a boy?), or self-loathing born of dysphoria and just plain having to live in a world that's hostile to trans people.

Being an anti is a way out. It's a way to manufacture acceptence. And they're too young and too hurt to realise that that acceptance is as temporary and hostile as the people who accept them only if they pretend to be girls; the antis will turn on them the moment they start acting a little too manly or if they're caught liking the wrong ship.

(I've seen something similar happen to young cis queer guys and trans girls, too, but it isn't as pronounced since being raised as a boy means you probably already learned that standing up for yourself is ok sometimes)

--

I'm sure it also doesn't help that tumblr is absolutely full of BL/slash fandom. There's certainly plenty of gender diversity in these spaces, but it's inescapable that the majority of participants are women. So for a young, insecure guy trying to assert that he is a guy, it's easy to fall prey to "Waaaah, I need to reclaim my hobby for me!" gatekeepy nonsense.

Sure, it's going to be turned on nbs even harder than on cis women and will be used to misgender other trans men in the end and misogyny isn't cool anyway, but that's not what your average traumatized young fool is thinking when they first join up. They're thinking "I hurt."

TBH, though, probably the largest component is that all of us—all of us—have a mental image of a default human for a given context. It's rarely a trans man. And so anything a trans man does stands out and is A Thing Trans Men Do.

This is true even if you are trans. It is true even if you are not a transphobic dickhead. Unlearning the 'why girls are bad at math' xkcd strip is extraordinarily hard because recognizing patterns and having mental defaults is just how human brains work.

There are shittons of cis women who become antis, but they're just not notable in the same way.

Are trans men more vulnerable to becoming antis? It's possible, and the reasons you outlined above are likely why. I think it's an interesting question to discuss if we are specifically discussing why the trans men who do become antis do so.

But we don't actually have any hard facts to support that they are more prone to it than anybody else. My guess would be that vulnerable people are more likely to become antis, so any cis woman with a strong source of vulnerability like a shittastic home life is similarly vulnerable to a young trans man with no support network, but who knows.

Maybe only 5% of trans men on tumblr are antis and 50% of cis women. Maybe it's 90% of trans men and 20% of cis women. Maybe it's 1% and 1% and they're just all very loud.

We have no data. We just don't know.

And we will never be able to trust our own brains on this until trans vs. cis is such a nonissue that we don't even notice it.

[bugs1nmybrain]

can you make a Aizawa or Hizashi x bigender reader.

🖤Shouta Aizawa x Bigender!Reader Headcanons💛🐈‍⬛️

I have never written for Present Mic, and I don't want to botch his character at the moment, but I will definitely consider writing him in the future. I actually like the idea of Aizawa being polyamorous with the reader and Hizashi. Maybe I'll try to think up something fun with the three of them in the future. These are just headcanons, but I could make a bigender reader in a one-shot in the future.

My gender identity is similar to bigender, but because of personal reasons, I usually have to mask as a cis-gender girl. I hope I wrote these headcanons with proper consideration.

🐈‍⬛️👍minor's do not interact 💀👍

Warnings: some sfw, but there's some saucy stuff,, mentions of misgendering and dysphoria, soft, some sex headcanons specific to afab and amab people, anal and vaginal sex, mentions of HRT, aizawa is my boy n I love him, not proofread yet

I personally see Aizawa as someone who's bisexual but doesn't give himself a label. For you being bigender, he isn't bothered at all.

When he sees you express as more masculine than feminine, or vice versa, he doesn't really pay much mind to it. He thinks you are incredible no matter what you wear or the gender roles you assume.

Explaining your gender identity can be scary, and Aizawa is a very direct person about his opinions about things. When he assured you that he takes your gender identity seriously, it was a weight off your shoulder.

He will actively ask how he can make sure that you are comfortable. He's not ignorant.

That applies to your physical presentation but also to your personality. So he doesn't care at all if you're being "girly" or "one of the guys," that's not how he is. He appreciates you as you are.

He is supportive, and if he's going to meet people with you, his eraserhead mindset makes him protective of you and he is always paying attention to how others treat you.

Corrects pronouns like no one's business

He will stick up for you if anyone misgenders you, make no mistake of that

And if someone tries to invalidate you, his stare is enough to get them to start walking

Some people who are bigender mask in public or in general, and if you did, he'd understand that. He'd respect your wishes, and when you two are in a more domestic location, he'll address you as what you want him to call you, and lets you be yourself without having to worry that he doesn't see you the same way than when you're "being the other gender."

He secretly thinks you're cute as fuck, but will hardly ever admit it (he'll insinuate it, he can get flirty when he's feeling bold).

This guy has no fashion sense most of the time, but he thinks your style flatters you, and it's easy for you to seduce him sometimes. When you both get home and he's feeling it, he'll start to lecture you, but he isn't disappointed in you in the slightest.

"Do you have any idea how handsome/pretty you've been today?" in a teasing tone.

You'll feign ignorance (tho it turns you on so bad).

"No, you just constantly have to be a brat, huh?"

It gets spicy from then on out. Shouta's sex drive isn't high, but when he knows he has time to kill, he'll rizz you up so bad

He'll have you thinking, "Aizawa?? Are you there??"

Aizawa is big, and so anal sex can cause anxiety, but he's patient and makes sure you're as comfortable as you can be. He'd never pressure you.

Sex can be complicated as someone who isn't on the binary, but Aizawa is here to listen and learn. He's sexually aroused by people no matter their anatomy, so he's open to whatever you're comfortable with. Sex isn't simply penis and vagina, and he knows that.

If you have a penis and aren't comfortable bottoming on a physical level, he's ok with being the recipient. He's a dom-leaning switch, in my opinion. But if you want him inside of you, he is obliging.

The same goes for vaginal sex. He wants to meet your needs because he loves you and wants you to enjoy having sex with him.

He'll make sure to address you properly and ask what you call your genitals and other body parts. Pronouns and pet names are also on his priority when making sure you're comfortable. He'd never want to make you dysphoric

He's proud of you. For everything. Having the courage to be yourself in a world that has a limited view about gender takes guts, and he reminds you of that when you're feeling dysphoric. He'll do everything in his power to support you

He will also completely support you if you decide that HRT or further is something that would affirm your identity better. Will never give you the "I miss who you were" schpeel because that's irrational and he doesn't feel that way, you are who you've always been to him.

He'll notice when you start showing changes and will probably avoid drawing attention to it unless he knows you want to hear him compliment your progress. He thinks you're wonderful with every passing day.

Your gender is a part of who you are, and he is proud of his bigender partner. You're his, no matter what anyone thinks. No matter if you doubt yourself, he sees someone who's strong and resilient and he loves you with all his heart.

[clowndensation]

1 dragon age is always giving lessons on The Correct Way To Talk To Trans People so i'm ignoring isabela going full tumblr user mode while explaining how you're supposed to apologize when misgendering someone. however. "you can't make your apology a big deal and center yourself in it, which is why /i/ do 10 push ups when i fuck up" gonna be real with you captain. that's still making a big deal over it. you've just chosen physical self flagellation over verbal.

2 in what fucking world is "bend your knees" the advice you give someone to correct their push up form?????? hello.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

I'm here for advice. I met a girl recently and I thought she was an amazing friend but then I found out she deadnames her transgender classmate whenever the two of them argue.

For context, his deadname is Alice and his name is Alec.

She will call him Alice and when he points it out she goes "no, I said Alec." And like... Gaslights? Him.

I'm genderfluid and I'm now terrified to tell her because of this.

What do I do in this situation????

Lee says:

For future reference, you don't need to tell us (or anyone) what your classmate's deadname is.

In this example, you could just tell us "His chosen name sounds similar to his deadname" if that's the context that you're trying to provide in explaining the situation at hand. You don't need to disclose the specific names!

To answer your question-- I would recommend speaking with this girl outside of the classroom when it's just the two of you alone and there isn't an audience (putting people on the spot in front of their peers can make them feel anxious and defensive) and explain that you've noticed her behavior and don't think that it's okay.

You want to have a conversation about the issue during a calm moment when she's not currently arguing with this classmate. And you want to be clear about why deadnaming someone isn't okay to do-- she might not understand how deeply it can wound someone!

Here's some dialogue that you could think about modifying to prepare for a talk with her:

"I know that we've recently met, but I really value our friendship. That's why I'm surprised that you tend to use [Chosen name's] deadname when you two argue. I noticed that you don't slip up and deadname him at other times which leads me to believe that you're intentionally using his deadname during arguments to hurt him. You might think that deadnaming him only affects him, but it's bigger than that. Intentionally deadnaming someone could make other trans people in the room terrified to come out to you because deadnaming a trans person shows that you don't respect trans identities in general. That's why I'm not comfortable being friends with someone who would intentionally misgender a transgender person. I'd like to think that you're not a transphobic person-- in fact, I know that you're better than that. You've been an amazing friend to me and I don't want our friendship to end, so I hope that you will be more careful about using [Chosen name's] deadname going forward, even when things get heated and you want to lash out and fight back."

When I was in high school, I came out to some classmates. A few of those classmates told their parents, and one of those parents told my parents. And then I was outed to my parents.

If you're not sure that this new friend is someone who you can safely come out to, I'd wait to come out to her until you're 100% sure that she will not tell anyone.

So if you aren't sure yet, and you aren't ready for the world to know that you're genderfluid, don't tell this girl yet. She might tell someone else, and that person could tell someone else, and then the whole school would know. If your safety is on the line, waiting to disclose your identity is a good idea.

All that said, I would also recommend intervening in the moment if your friend deadnames your classmate and you witness it occur. So you should address it preemptively, but also speak up if it happens again.

You might want to practice coming up with a few sentences and approaches to correct her on her use of his deadname and/or offer support to the trans classmate who is being targeted.

I know it can be uncomfortable to insert yourself into an argument, especially if you don't even agree with this guy or like him, but nobody deserves to be deadnamed, even the worst jerks in the school.

Practicing the interaction in advance and even writing down what you might say will help to prepare you to stand up for this classmate because it's very easy to panic in the moment and not speak up even when you think what someone is doing is wrong.

Bystander intervention is important because it'll let this classmate know that he isn't alone, someone else noticed it happening even if she denied doing it afterward, and it can help redirect her so she doesn't continue doing it.

Finally, take care of yourself! It sucks to be closeted, it sucks to have to witness someone be transphobic, it sucks when you find out that someone you trusted and cared about is transphobic, and it sucks to have to stand up for a classmate and defend them against the transphobia while pretending that it doesn't affect you and you aren't hurting too.

You're doing a good thing by addressing the transphobia, but that doesn't make it easy. It can be emotionally taxing to confront someone, so yeah, something that to take care of yourself too, whether it's going on a run or talking to a friend or making some art, do something active that will take your mind off of it and let you de-stress a bit.

Followers, what would you recommend that anon say to their friend or say to their classmate to intervene during an argument where their classmate is being misgendered?

[transzilla]

"#but honestly no disrespect if i see anything to do with making a tgirl comptop like its revolutionary im gonna get pissed"

fuck thank you so much for saying this. seeing people glorify not just non-op but even... ANTI-op perspectives and sexuality, and frame lower dysphoric people who want/need SRS as dinosaurs is so depressingly transphobic.

just added extra when you've had trauma FOR being someone who doesn't have sex with the parts you were born with, and even other people in the queer/trans world will try to literally SA or verbally lash out to pressure you to do it. whatever happened to affirming people's transitions and needs yk?

comptop for trans girls and compbottom for trans guys is horrifyingly real and just an offshoot of misgendering and how transphobes always treat us pre-transition. i'm sick of people praising themselves as so revolutionary and queer for expecting me to have the same kind of sex as someone's conservative parents would approve of

I hear you omg I've also had incredibly gruesome experiences with people who can't seem to fathom the idea that I actually don't want to bottom as a trans male LMAO like with cis people it's like whatever ya'll are DEMONS anyway but with other trans people it really catches me off guard how common that sentiment is. it's incredibly disturbing that you'll see the same like entitlement issues and assumed consent and transphobic sexual assumptions in other gay and transgender people .. It feels like betrayal like it really truly does catch you off guard. Like I've had people try to talk me out of being a top like I was fucking lying or something saying like... whatever booboo shit like ohhh no way that's not you, you say yas queen sometimes you're too nice you're too cute I can't see you doing it... blah blah blah.. Like this shit is insane, do you hear yourself??

And like the thing about this inability for queer people to confront their transphobic expectations... they will run away from it seemingly forever!! Like I'll see people try to misconstrue their personal beliefs and make it seem like it's this lib slay because haha wow dude's on bottom and woman's on top. And they're trans. Sex positivity teehee time to assume cause I want this every trans person I meet will want this. All that shit about how they're correct meanwhile they're not taking no for a god damn answer!! Like at least conservative transphobes are just gonna tell it to you straight that they don't see you as a person LMAO there is no subliminal messaging politicizing bullshit. Like  is it really femdom female empowerment when the woman is topping when everyone fucking makes her top and no one considers what she wants? Like wowww that's some feminism right there LMAO

There are gonna be tons of people who will respect you for your preference nd SRS and will be like damn that's really cool but my heart breaks, sometimes, like the amount of lgbt people who perpetuate the same three ringed trans-people-are-pornhub-categories shitshow in a place they're parading as safe. Like it truly does feel like the half-baked offspring of misgendering, like well sure we can do all your pronoun crap but we think you owe us at least this. Like aren't ya'll supposed to be better about this bullshit? Trust no one!!! Lmao.

[pissditching]

hi! my best friend just came out to me as trans (ftm) I’m a cis lesbian, and I’m just wondering if you have any tips on how I can best support him. i rlly love him and he’s by best friend in the whole world, and i rlly wanna do anything i can to help, but ik i don’t get it bc I’m cis. any tips you have for me as a friend or for him as a pre-everything trans guy would be greatly appreciated.

this is such a sweet ask. he's really lucky he had people like you in his life who want to support him :,) there's five things you can really do as a cis ally

1. understand that you'll never understand. that's completely ok. being trans is something that's incredibly hard to translate into words for others who aren't trans, and even then, those words still might not translate. when you're cis, understanding isnt the goal. to accept and support is.

2. don't treat him any differently (except in ways that he asks for). he's still your friend, the same person you've known, and him being trans doesn't mean anything has changed and it doesn't mean you need to walk on eggshells around him. all you need to do is treat him like nothing has changed because in this regard, it hasn't.

3. the bigger deal you make out of misgendering him, the more it hurts. all an honest mistake requires is a "sh- sorry he". the faster you let him and yourself move on the better.

4. let him tell people in his own time. in high school i was incidentally outed to the whole school because a well meaning cis friend of mine didn't understand that it wasn't her job to correct people i hadn't told who used she/her or my deadname in conversation. i know that may seem counterintuitive or even make you feel kinda uncomfortable, but it's what keeps him safe in the long run.

5. tell him you love him. call him your brother. call him your boy. i don't know his home situation but he might not get those terms of endearment at home. tell him you love him any time you can.

[celestialanon]

Brothers With a Trans Male Lover

Hello dear readers! So for this post, it’s obviously aimed for a specific audience! It was definitely self indulgent, and I hope I can provide something nice and some comfort to my fellow trans male readers! Please do enjoy this set <3

Lucifer

When he had first met you, he misgendered you on accident. You had politely explained to him that you were a male, and he honestly didn't question it, immediately apologizing to you and fixing his words. It wasn't until you both had gotten closer that you felt the need to explain when he found a binder of yours laying on your bed after laundry day.

He wasn't too surprised. Not that he fully understood what being trans meant, but he had seen a few demons express themselves in such a way that went against the gender norms, and he wondered briefly if maybe they were trans as well without knowing it. While he had many questions, he decided to leave them for another time in favor of telling you that he sees no problem with it and that he has looked at you as the man you were since the day you corrected him.

He often offers to help clean your binders by hand so they don't get ruined otherwise, as well as reminds you when to take it off if it's gotten too late. He wants to make sure you aren't harming yourself any. He always encouraged you to at least give yourself a breather when you were in his room, as he would not see you any differently with or without your binder on.

There was one memorable day you shared, you had overheard a few nosy demons murmuring about you in the hall. Harsh words that you've heard before, but words that stung just a bit more when Lucifer's name got thrown in the conversation. A new fear came along with the already existing dread of your identity: what did it look like to stand beside Lucifer like this?

He had noticed you unfocused at his desk, staring at your assignment and mindlessly messing with the pen in your hand. He went over and placed a hand at your shoulder, watching your face twist in discomfort. Your words fell out of your mouth before you could stop them.

"Aren't you embarrassed being with someone like me?" Lucifer had froze above you, looking down at you with shock.

"Wouldn't it be better for you to be with a real man, or woman. I-I'm not not ruining your image, am I?" Your voice had become small, and he could hear the strain in it as you clearly forced yourself to stay composed. He merely shook his head, getting to your level before pulling you in a tight hug against his chest.

"You are a real man, my dear. I feel nothing but pride when having you by my side." He brushed the short strands of hair at your ear, leaning in close so you could hear him better.

"Never doubt yourself over such thoughts again, I've never wanted anyone as I've wanted you."

Mammon

At first, he honestly thought you were into cross dressing. Not that he really cared, he's seen his brother do it before, so it wasn't a big deal if that was the case. And you pulled it off quite well! But he soon realized he was wrong when you gave him a glare at his accusations, explaining that you were actually transgender. The poor guy, had absolutely no idea what you meant. He was given a detailed explanation by Lucifer, and was instructed to apologize to you immediately.

He found you sitting alone, gathering your things while awkwardly coming to greet you. Being the mess that he was, his apology was all over the place, but you couldn't help but smile at his words. A jumbled mess of "I-I didn't know you were a dude, my bad!" Leading to "I don't care what ya are, why do I gotta babysit?!" You fell into place beside him quickly after, forgetting your initial annoyance with him.

Now, he got defensive whenever someone threw out the wrong word. You'd be the one to tell him it wasn't a big deal, but he'll never forget the look you gave him when he got it wrong. Although he can't relate to you, he's not stupid enough to not notice how much it affects you. How could he not notice? The way you stare at your body in every passing mirror, the way your voice flattens when it sounds a bit high compared to everyone else, even the way he caught you once on your bedroom floor, sorting your clothes as tears stained your sad red eyes.

He quickly made his way to you, shutting your bedroom door behind him and crouching on the floor to meet your face. Your eyes flickered up to his, before turning back down as you quickly wiped at your nose. You couldn't possibly feign this while he was sat right in front of you. You had the urge to bury your face into shirt you were currently folding.

"Why? What happened?" He asked, and when you ignored his question, he released your grip from the shirt and peered closer at you.

"I said, what happened. Don't ignore me." The stern tone in his voice was not one you heard often. It caused more tears to fall down your cheeks.

"N-None of this looks good on me... I'm t-tired of looking this way..." You wiped at your eyes, trying to ignore the way your voice broke and how high it was. Mammon wasn't the best at comforting, but if there was one thing he hated, it was seeing you cry. Absolutely soul crushing. He pat his hands onto his knees, beginning to pull you up with him by your arms.

"Alright, I got the problem. New clothes, right?" When you stared at him with bewilderment, he just smiled. He used the bare skin of the back of his hand to wipe under eyes, pinching your cheeks to stop your frown.

"What? If you don't like any of my clothes I'll buy ya some new stuff. So stop cryin' already, babe. Please..." He made sure the tears stopped before your shopping date.

Leviathan

Levi knew the minute you told him that you were trans. He has heard the term before somewhere on the internet, and immediately accepted you and treated you respectfully. He even asked you to be his "Henry", and started comparing you to more male characters that reminded him of you to see you smile. If you were having a bad dysphoria day, it was cuddles on the beanbag all day wrapped up in one of his large Ruri hoodies.

Levi was someone who seemed to be very comfortable with his masculinity, and you noticed this through his cosplays and behavior at times. If you expressed how much you wanted to be comfortable with yourself in the same way, he would help you by taking it slow. He invites you to get your nails painted with Asmo, to cosplay a female with him (mainly Ruri), or even shows you how to main females in the various games he plays. He never forgets to remind you that he never sees you as less of a man when you do so.

On a particularly bad day, you stood right in front of his bathroom mirror, eyeing the curves on your body as you covered your chest with a towel. You couldn't hide the sadness in your frown, just looking at your body sometimes made you feel sick. There was a light knock at the door, and you invited Levi to join you inside. He went red at first glance, but his surprise faltered when he noticed the look on your face.

"M-Mc? What's wrong?" He stood a small distance from you, not wanting to invade your privacy. You shrugged your shoulders, looking down at the binding tape on the counter and clutching the towel more tightly.

"Just stared at my chest too long again, no biggie...." There was a small silence, but you soon felt a nervous pair of arms embrace you from behind, pulling you flush against Levi's chest. In moments like these, where you felt the worst about yourself, he managed to find ways to make you feel otherwise.

"I can help... with the tape." He started, his chin resting atop your head. You could see the unwavering blush on his cheeks as he looked back at you in the mirror.

"O-Only if you want me too! I can leave if not." The tight hold at your waist told you he really didn't want to leave, nor did you mind. In fact, you felt it was a rather sweet gesture. And you trusted Levi more than anyone.

"Yeah, I want you to." So he did just that, listening to your instructions on how to properly wrap your chest, his gaze avoiding yours as much as it could. You wanted to laugh, he was clearly a bit embarrassed, but he was trying his best. When he was done, he asked if it was too tight for you, but he actually managed to wrap it quite snug.

"Thanks, sweetheart." You gave him a kiss in thanks on the lips, and that stupid smile of his that made your heart flutter appeared. It's hard to feel so bad about yourself when he looks at you that way, so full of love.

Satan

Satan had actually learned the term in a book he read. He was quite fascinated with the character and learning their internal struggles, so the first thing he felt for you when you told him was concern. He often asked what made you comfortable and what didn't, and adjusted himself so. He made sure everyone else did the same, at least among his brothers, and payed close attention to any other demons surrounding you. He was the first to correct anyone to misgender you and always apologized on everyone else's behalf.

When you two had gotten much closer, you sat him down and explained that it was okay for him to be less serious on the subject. That you were able to handle yourself against the words of lesser demons. You considered yourself to be quite confident, and he truly admired you for such. So he did as you asked, giving you some air and watching as you held your own against any gossip or awkward stares. It was child's play to you, you didn't care how anyone saw you, as long as you knew who you were yourself.

Like his brother, he would compare you to male characters he really likes. You two often make small jokes with each other, like saying "I guess that makes you gay now." It was an automatic joke, and you shut your mouth after saying it in fear that it would rub him the wrong way. To your surprise though, he just laughed. His smile was wide as he turned the next page of his current book, his light chuckles fading.

"Yeah, I suppose it does, doesn't it?" That's weird. You had previously very rarely ever felt self conscious beside Satan, but for some reason, that joke had you freeze up in your spot. You felt yourself become nervous, rubbing your palms onto your pants to wipe away oncoming sweat. Your eyes met Satan's, worry flashing as you gave him a small smile.

"S-Sorry! I was kidding, just a stupid joke...." To save from humiliation, you picked up a nearby book, trying to forget what had just happened. Why did you feel that way? Was there secretly a part of you that believed Satan didn't love you as much as he said he did? Because you were a trans man? Was that the problem? Girls were never a problem before, but would he have preferred one? How could you just say he was gay now, even if you were joking? Well, there goes your mind again, thinking a mile per minute.

Satan had long already set down his book, turning to you as you personally crushed your spirit into pieces. You were clearly paying no attention to the book in your hands. He tried calling your name a few times, and when that didn't work, he pulled the book out of your hands, finally gaining your attention.

"Love? Why the sudden look? Did I say something wrong?" Your heart sank at his worried expression. You told him not worry himself over you numerous times, but he still did...

"N-No, I'm sorry. I'm the one who said something wrong, I shouldn't have joked like that. You probably felt uncomfortable." Word vomit, multiple apologies, and Satan was trying to wrap his head around what you had said. That uncertain look in your eyes was not one he'd seen often. He carefully grabbed your hands with both of his, giving you all of his attention.

"Mc, I don't feel any discomfort from your joke. Rather, I thought it was fairly accurate..." When you didn't respond to him, a few things began to click into place. He couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, caressing his thumb into the knuckles of your fingers.

"You're a very handsome man Mc, and I feel lucky to be the one you want by your side. I believe that since we are both males, that constitutes for a homosexual relationship, does it not?" There he goes again, pulling out the specifics. You couldn't help but laugh at his serious demeanor. How could you worry yourself so much over a joke like this?

"Yeah, I guess that does make you pretty gay."

Asmodeus

Not only has Asmo learned what being trans meant from Solomon, but he had met many demons that expressed themselves as such as well. It was simple knowledge to him, so he didn't bat an eye when you explained yourself to him. He apologized swiftly before correcting himself and changing absolutely nothing with his advances towards you.

Getting close to Asmo was rather easy, and before long you two had become an item. And truly, it was hard to be insecure about yourself around Asmo. He praised your body like it was a well built sculpture, said your voice was close to heavenly and reminded him of the angels that used to sing to him. Your skin was as smooth as silk sheets and he just wants to sink into it until- well, you get the idea. The compliments were never on hold.

But you did manage to get a bit in the dumps when his small groups of fans came into the picture. They were primarily made up of women, unsurprisingly. That may have been what stung you the most. Deep down you knew Asmo probably didn't have a solid preference, but you wondered if he'd rather have imagined himself with a woman.

You were checking yourself in the mirror, you had slipped on something a little more on the feminine side. It was something from Asmo's closet, and you couldn't help but cringe. You wanted so badly to like it, maybe he would like it too. But instead you just felt miserable.

Asmo had entered the room with his loud greeting, quickly spotting you in the corner as you went stiff in your spot. He eyes you up and down, gasping in small surprise. Your shoulders hung low, and you could feel yourself getting smaller.

"I-Is it weird?" The look on your face showed that you didn't like it, and Asmo immediately caught on to the fact. He went in front of you to place his fingers at your chin, frowning at your frustration.

"Hon, if you don't like it that much, why did you put it on?" You couldn't look away, as he sternly kept you in place, looking at him. When you sighed in defeat, you began moving to undress.

"I don't know. I thought you would probably like this look on me more...."

"Oh no- Mc why would you think that?" He helped you remove your arms through the sleeves, setting the top aside before turning his attention back to you.

"I'm a little afraid.... That you might not like me because of who I am?" You spoke quietly, and he studied your features for a minute.

"Because you're not a girl?" You nodded stiffly, he placed a kiss between the furrow of your brows, pulling back with a small smile.

"I don't care what you are hon, I love you dearly." He gave you another kiss, on the lips this time.

"But please, you are much more sexy in your own clothes rather than mine." At this point, you should have known how head over heels he was for your masculine look. Maybe someday you'd get it.

Beelzebub

Beel had actually believed you were cis from the beginning. Sure, maybe your voice was a bit higher, your height much smaller than the rest of them, and your build not as big. But you passed very well, and he didn't think anything of it, because some guys were just built like that. So he was rather surprised when you explained that you were trans.

He was definitely confused, and had many questions on the matter. He asked why it had to be that way? Why weren't you able to change to the gender you wanted to be? And why did people make such a big deal out of it? At the end of the day, he reminded you that he saw you for what you were, another man surrounded by demon men. Lucky you.

He was extremely supportive when you needed him to be, offering snacks to cheer you up on the bad days, bringing you to his workout sessions if you wanted to gain some muscle. You had excitedly run up to him one day, exclaiming how happy you were to be able to get testosterone.

Of course, you had to explain what that was too. But when he saw the big smile on your face, he couldn't help but cheer along with you. You had asked him in private if he would be willing to help you with your shots, to which he immediately agreed to. But when it came down to it, he was awfully nervous of hurting you. You watched as he shakily brought the needle up to your skin.

"It won't hurt you too bad, right?" He asked, hesitant to make another move. You laughed, giving him a reassuring nod.

"It won't hurt, and it will make me happy when I'm done." You patted your thigh in urgency, and his face cringed. He carefully injected the needle into your thigh, making sure to give it a wipe when he was finished. He looked up at you hurriedly in case of any discomfort. He was relieved to find you completely fine.

"Mc... Don't you get tired of having to do all these things?" He's seen it all with you. The mornings you struggled to slip on your binder, the days you had to correct someone for addressing you the wrong way, he even accompanied you to get your hair cut when it grew too long for your liking.

He truly wondered why you had to try so hard to be yourself, and he felt sad for you. He had rested his hands over your thighs, a defeated look on his features as he thought more about it. You shook your head, cupping his face and getting him to look back up at you.

"I do, but I have to do these things to be comfortable in my own skin." He leaned into your touch, almost placing a kiss at your hand.

"You know you never have to feel uncomfortable around me, right?" Oh, how kind he was...

"Of course I know that."

Belphegor

When he first met you, he was just as clueless as his twin. Except he ended up misgendering you, but offered a simple apology when you corrected him. Maybe you just appeared more on the feminine side, that’s his bad. But then you started explaining all these things about being trans, and he apologized saying he didn’t quite understand.

Not that he didn’t accept you or anything, he just didn’t understand the feeling of not feeling at home in your own skin. He didn’t really get it for a minute, but then he noticed how much you look at yourself. How hard you try to present yourself confidently when you were next to them. How much you had to correct people when they misgendered you.

It started to become frustrating to him. Why did you always have to explain yourself? Couldn’t they see you were just another guy? Was it really that hard to tell? In his eyes you weren’t any different from the rest of them, maybe just a little shorter though…

When he noticed you explaining to another demon classmate of yours, he hurried to your side and started dragging you away by the hand. Your complaints fell on deaf ears, his face twisted in annoyance as he looked back at the demon.

“Belphie? What’s gotten into you?” You managed to tug free before you reached his bedroom door, he turned to you with pouting mug.

“Aren’t you mad?” You looked at him dumbfounded, unsure of how to respond.

“They ask you the same questions everyday. It’s annoying, right? You can get mad.” He crossed his arms at you, waiting for a response. You nervously held onto your arm, surprised at his small outburst. You gave him a smile that you were sure wasn’t all too convincing.

“I-I’m not that mad. I can’t blame others for not understanding, right?” He deadpanned at you, grabbing onto your wrist again and pulling you inside his room. He shut the door with a slam.

“You’re too nice, Mc.” You shrugged at his words, because maybe he was right about that. You could admit to yourself you were a bit annoyed, but there was a good handful of people who understood you too. It wasn’t all bad.

“Just so you know, you can always tell me if you do get mad, or something….” You smiled, letting him lead you to his bed.

“Yeah.”

“…And you’ll never have to explain stuff like that to me either….”

“….Yeah.” Belphie was not the best with words, but you still cherished what he said. You pulled him into a tight hug, whispering a small thanks into his shoulder.

[genderqueerdykes]

Sometimes I feel really upset that I'll never really be able to 'pass' as not woman, (probably w/o hrt that is), and it sucks getting misgendered so easily. Like when I look at myself in the mirror I don't see a woman but then I go out and most strangers don't hesitate she/her-ing me and idk what to do to get people to like not say that lol. Like my hair is the longest it's been in 2 years, (I'd buzzed it all off the past like 6-ish years), and I really like how it looks and don't want to cut it off but even when I had the short hair I was still being called 'she/her'. And then there's the voice which is probs a big factor in the way I get gendered and well....

Idk, I don't want to let strangers affect my perception of myself but it's hard not to feel kinda bad when people dont perceive me the way me and my friends do :(

Sorry if this is probably a repeat of another anon or ask you've received, feel free to ignore this.

hello there, i'm sorry other people are making you feel alienated from yourself- strangers and social transition are often the hardest part of being trans and a lot of people end up staying in the closet because of these things, so i understand why it's feeling so overwhelming for you. it's not an easy thing to cope with and i'm sorry to hear it's made you feel this way

unfortunately, people are often raised to make assumptions about strangers based upon how their bodies look and their voices sound, because folks are taught it's "polite" to aggressively gender a stranger to affirm them. it's not really your fault, it's parents failing to teach their children that people can come in any shape and form, and that person's fault for not learning how to respect other's boundaries. it's a cultural and societal failing

if you're able to, try to remind yourself that you know who you are. you don't have to identify a certain way because of the she/her's. i know they hurt to hear, but that doesn't mean they're right about who you are. they know nothing about you, they've never truly gotten to meet you, and they're making a very baseless and shitty assumption. a lot of people choose to see the she/her's in a drag queen way, and i think it helps to remind yourself that pronouns don't = gender and that person literally doesn't know your identity, so they're not correct. you are the expert on yourself

sometimes vocal training without hormones can help, sometimes changing the way you dress can help, and some folks use makeup to make their faces look more masculine. there are a few ways you can change the way others see you without hormones, i hope you're able to find something that works for you. at the very least, i'm glad your friends understand you for who you are. it may help to see if you can reach out to any lgbt organizations in your area, and see if you can hang out with other queer people who don't judge folks based off of opinion and voice. having a community can help a ton. even online communities can be super helpful

i hope you're able to find a way to feel a bit better, i know people can be very shitty and make assumptions that hurt us, it's a massive failing on society's behalf to take care of all of us, not just some of us. it's not fair, and it's okay to be hurt when people address you incorrectly. i wish you the best of luck, take care, and stay safe out there, if you need anymore help feel free to ask

[smiggles]

Are you ever bothered by the fact people keep using they/them for your sona even though you've clarified over and over his pronouns are he/him? I think I would feel kinda bad if people kept misgendering my sona because a sona's supposed to be a representation of yourself, therefore it would feel like I'm the one who's being misgendered (no need to answer if you aren't comfortable talking about this)

=w=a; it does a lot but I dont correct for two reasons

1. I assume people don't know and don't mean any harm. I dont have my pronouns listed on tumblr (lazy)

2. Ive given up on not being called they/them even when people have been told. Im just too tired and the sting of being misgendered goes away faster than the awkwardness of people making excuses/over apologizing/creating a scene about it lol

So. Yes. My sona is he/him only but if ppl get it wrong I prefer to think they dont know that and aren't being mean