#cops funny moments

[insanethrottlebikernews]

Law Enforcement Motorcycle Clubs & THE BIKER REVOLUTION

Law Enforcement Motorcycle Clubs & THE BIKER REVOLUTION

#LAWENFORCEMENT #LEO #COPCLUBS Law Enforcement Motorcycle Clubs, or LEMCs, sound like an oxymoron. But they are very much in existence, and growing by the day – motorcycle clubs that are run by the cops, for the cops, and of the cops. They call themselves traditional MCs, in that they have the same hierarchy and entry models that way other motorcycle clubs do, but most MCs, especially the outlaw…

[flumpermergen]

I just realized that whole stunt of Ratio pretending to backstab Aventurine was just the hsr equivalent of pretending to fight in the ikea furniture displays like an old married couple.

[teapetal44]

The state of the league of villains during act 3 is so sad man. Compress literally gave his ass for the league, got arrested and nobody gaf. Twice’s demise amounted to nothing, nobody cared. The whole discrimination arc Spinner was involved in was a mess. Suddenly Hori decided he cared about realism in his story so Toga dropped like a fly from a simple blood transfusion. Dabi is forced to sit and listen to Endeavor whine and yap about how sad he is about being an abusive pos, all the while nobody actually cares and he never got any real repercussions besides his family being (justifyingly) mean to him. Shigaraki was sidelined for a boring villain and was stripped off all his autonomy and agency.

[kibibarel]

got so mad about softlocking myself + needing to redo hours of progress that i got drunk, attempted this check (which i originally wasn't going to even attempt because i was TRYING to roleplay as the Sensitive type), and proceeded to knock this guy out with a 360 flying spin kick

changed my mind again. Disco Elysium is okay

[bumpscosity]

Actually all gravity falls shipping wars in back when the show was airing were hilarious. i once saw two ppl arguing abt wether pinecest or stancest was better like guys i think its better if we just throw both of you into the bottomless pit forever

[internetskiff]

Think i've seen some posts wondering as to why Barney's (and most other ex-black mesa employees') reactions are somewhat nonchalant when Gordon finally pops up, but I think it's important to note that this is a world where the Combine repeatedly shuffles people from country to country several times a year, possibly as an attempt to prevent an organized resistance from ever forming. And all things considered, it's a wonder a resistance movement did form. It'd require either all members eventually getting transferred to City 17 and going off the radar, or the more likely option - some of them had to make the trek toward the city by themselves (which, iirc, is exactly what happened with Kleiner, with Eli losing his leg to a bullsquid while assisting him). I'd imagine because of that, new Black Mesa survivors popping up in order to join the movement has become common enough that it's not that big a surprise anymore. Also I think the last thing the person who's gone through the most hellish experience out of all of the Black Mesa survivors would want is for everyone to immediately start freaking the fuck out at the moment of their arrival. Idk. I think all of them silently agreeing to give Gordon a warm and calm welcome makes a lot of sense. This just gave me the mental image of Barney taking off his mask and immediately breaking down crying instead of talking about the beer and nevermind that would've been GOLD it wouild've been so fucking funny

[kickbutts-singsongs]

Okay but why did they never have any holiday themed POI episodes?

More specifically, how come they never had a Halloween episode and played “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell in the background?

[shatterdome-underscore]

I know we're all collectively sold on "Sparrow takes a d100 of psychic damage when oakworthy happens" but have we considered Jodie or Scam taking one look at Normal and telling their son, who is half chaos deity and also the prince of hell, "you know you could do better, right?"

[aingeal98]

At the end of the day I love the batfamily so much. I love Cassandra Wayne and her four loser brothers (and her one non loser very cool little brother Duke) and her even bigger loser dad and her sister from another universe that the general family may or may not know exists and may have a baby counterpart out there in the world and the woman who inspired the sister's hero name and her momsister who named her and her birth mother who never wanted her and her best friend situationship kind of dating but only canon in alternate timelines so far Stephanie. And I love her dad's two main flames both of whom are 10 times more compelling and cool than him Selina and Talia if you are free any day please call me. And her dad's lesbian cousin and the cousin's ex the Question. And Leslie Thompkins and Jean Paul Valley and the Fox family and Bette Kane too. I love them all they're so silly and fun and I will read through as many bad comics as I have to in order to get to the good ones that make me smile or stop and think.

[gunstellations]

rk800 💙 rk900

[hikarisbeam]

they're actually vibing so well together!

[another-kshit-blog]

Sebastian every time Ciel calls him out for being an asshole: uwu I'm a demon I can't help it, what's your excuse

[satanfemme]

told one of my irl friends yesterday that I've been working on a horror video game, and she said when I'm done we could do a "watch party" for it on a projector in her backyard. and in my mind I instantly saw a very clear image of the scene in my game where a character is basically gored while their naked genitals are in the center of the frame. and I said, "haha yeah maybe".

[humanmorph]

stupid ass just spent 50 mins in my neighbours apartment (VERY nice of her) bc i locked myself out while answering the door to accept a package (comics btw)

[the-acid-pear]

MARKUS WHAT WAS THAT POUTING FOR. I KNOW CONNOR IS FINE AS SILK BUT BEHAVE YOURSELF

[womanenthusiast]

Accomplice (Keith/Tenebris & Custom MC)

No romance, just a no good very bad day for everyone involved. Bambi and Keith discover they’ve been cheated on at the same time and things go from bad to worse. Inspired by this ask.

TW: blood & gore, swearing

AN: I haven’t written anything since 2017/2018, but the call of the @dualityvn fanfic contest was too strong. Please forgive any issues, I have no idea what I’m doing.

The knock at the door was unexpected, the rattle of a key in the lock even moreso. When Keith stepped out of the bedroom to see what was going on, his partner, Sam, met his eyes with a guilty look. She seemed to know what was about to happen, her shoulders straightening resolutely as the door opened.

Another woman stumbled in, arms were weighed down by groceries making her unsteady. Sam stepped forward to take a bag and balanced the woman with a hand on her elbow. The motion was domestic, familiar. Keith’s stomach sank.

“I’m so sorry to drop in unannounced, I noticed you were low on some things the other day and wanted to make sure you had enough for the week, I know how crazy work’s been.” The stranger was pulling out items and restocking Sam’s cabinets with practiced movements. When she finally spotted him, she jolted with surprise. Keith tensed too, readying himself for a confrontation. It didn’t happen. Instead, her face brightened into a welcoming smile. “Shit sorry, I didn’t even see you there! You must be a friend of Sam’s.” 

The woman’s attitude caught him off guard. She didn’t seem to be aware that anything was wrong. His brain rushed to smooth the edges of his assumptions; maybe he wasn’t being cheated on, maybe he’d been too hasty to assume. A sister or cousin? A friend? An assistant? Tenebris stirred in the back of his mind, drawn out by the frantic chaos of his thoughts. The woman’s next words startled them both into silence.

“My name’s Bambi, I’m Sam’s fiance.” Bambi wiped her hands on her jeans and offered one to him to shake. “I just stopped by to drop off some groceries, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll be out of your hair in a sec.” 

Keith took her hand without thinking, but couldn’t bring himself to shake it. Bambi’s smile wilted at the look in his eye. They both heard Sam cough behind her. 

“Keith, listen-” His hand tightened around the stranger’s at the sound of Sam’s voice, colored with guilt. The remnants of Bambi’s smile crumbled away as the pieces began to fall into place and she squeezed his hand back involuntarily. They stared at each other, frozen.

Keith looked pale. Bambi would later come to see the omen in the blue splotches crawling up his neck and the uncanny curl to the corner of his mouth, but at the time her frantic brain twisted the strangeness into something she could understand. A lifetime of self-imposed service pushed her legs toward the window, the clamminess building in her hands making it easy to slide out of his grasp. 

“What are you doing?” Sam asked, incredulous.

She blustered about the lock with hands numb and shaking as though she’d just plunged them in ice water. An old routine turned awkward and clumsy with the shock to her system. “He needs air.” 

Did he? Keith wasn’t sure. His head was a mess of his own swirling thoughts and the frustrated prodding of Tenebris. The other inhabitant knew something was happening and wanted to step in, but Keith wouldn’t yet relinquish control, regardless of the temptation to just let go. There was an innocent here and he could tell by her demeanor that Bambi hadn’t known, either. He didn’t know how far Tenebris’ rage would extend if he didn’t take the time to sort his thoughts and inform him of the situation properly.

Sam seemed to take pity on Bambi and nudged her away so she could undo the lock and slide the window open herself. Bambi looked confusedly at her own trembling hands. Sam wasn’t shaking at all, which seemed wrong. She felt like it should’ve been the opposite. 

Bambi had learned young that relationships were fleeting, frequently slipping through her fingers. She refused to be lonely but kept a loose grip, letting one relationship go and then reaching back into the bucket for more. Made herself useful so they’d have a reason to keep her around a little longer, but not begrudging them when they left. The way her mother had held a white knuckled grip to her cheating father had seemed embarrassing to her in her adolescence. The longer it had gone on, the more Bambi had wanted to take a hammer to those fingers so her mother would finally let go and fall away somewhere better. The desperation of wanting to hold on to someone like that became associated with the sympathetic humiliation Bambi had felt for her. She’d vowed to never do that to herself long ago, so why was this affecting her so? 

She squeezed crescents into her palms, shame coloring her cheeks as everything came together for her. She’d gotten too comfortable, held on too tight. Just like her mother. A toothbrush wrapped in a paper towel, found shoved into the back of the medicine cabinet. A sweater, out of place in Sam’s pile of laundry. The orchid that had been thriving on the windowsill despite Sam’s self proclaimed touch of death. How long had she willingly ignored the signs? She’d let Sam become important, let the ring on her finger dig a mark into her skin. Hers. Mine. 

She willed herself to feel anything else about her own lot, but embarrassment reigned over all. In the face of that, she decided instead to feel for Keith. There was more there to work with, bubbling up in her chest like a witch’s brew. Indignation. Anger. Offense. Sadness. Pain. She tended to those emotions, urging them to loosen her own grip on the relationship, pop her fingers off the ledge one at a time as though breaking a seal. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. A deep breath, a release of tension.

“What the hell, Sam? How long has this been going on?” 

“Not long, I swear! It was just some fun, I wanted to try something new before we tied everything down.” She mistook Bambi’s anger as hurt for her own self, a loose thread in the sweater that Sam could pull to unravel her into forgiveness. She knew Bambi didn’t like to fight, that she’d roll over and show her belly if it would make the conflict stop, regardless of her own feelings. This wasn’t about Bambi’s feelings, though. Her need to defend overshadowed her aversion to conflict.

“Something? He’s a person and he’s right here!” She didn’t bother asking if he knew, the truth was written in his wide eyes, turned towards the floor, and the distressed pinch to his brows. His mouth was clenched shut and a muscle twitched in his jaw. Keith looked like he was having a conversation in his head and feared he’d speak it aloud if he eased up even a fraction. 

“Keith, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know, I-” She didn’t know why she was apologizing, maybe because she didn’t know if Sam would. Someone had to be sorry. “I don’t know what to say.” 

He didn’t either, a small part of him just wanted to take her hand again. There was comfort in being tethered to someone as lost in the situation as himself. 

Seeing that placation wouldn’t work, Sam bristled and turned defensive. “I’m sorry it turned out like this, but Bambi you’re so fucking hard to love! You keep everyone away, even me!”

“What?”

“I thought we could make things work, that you’d open up if things between us were more stable but you’re so damn cold! I was lonely, that’s it.” Sam scoffed, “you’re not even crying! You cried watching a fucking documentary last week but not over this?” 

There was a stabbing feeling in Bambi’s chest, a rage clawing to the surface at Sam’s assessment of her. She wasn’t wrong, but she didn’t want to hear it. She wanted to strike back, find a soft spot in the other woman’s armor and dig her nails into it, but she didn’t know what to say. 

She didn’t have to say anything. A blur of movement tore past her line of sight and collided into Sam. The snap of a rubber band pulled too tight. For a moment Bambi didn’t move, only to stumble back a heartbeat later as though hit with the shockwave of Sam and Keith’s impact. 

He drew back a blue fist -was it always that color?- and something wet landed on her cheek. As though in a trance, she brought a finger to it. Red. Oh shit. 

“APOLOGIZE!” He shouted, his voice was raspier than she’d expected. There were other words too, but they all sounded garbled and incoherent to her. Through the fog of the shock, she thought the sound of it didn’t quite suit Keith’s delicate features.

Sam didn’t apologize, Bambi doubted she could anymore. She couldn’t see much past the haze of his movement, but each thud of contact was beginning to sound like an open palm slapping the surface of a pool. 

Bambi was on the ground. She didn’t remember dropping, but her tailbone ached so it couldn’t have been graceful. When she tried to scoot away, her sock slid tractionless through the pool of blood lazily inching towards her. When had she taken her shoe off? 

It wasn’t long before he stopped moving, shoulders hunched, and she noticed the faint shape of a women's size nine and a half printed on his sleeve in dirt. Her other, still shoe-covered, foot managed to gain a bit of traction and she shot back into the cabinets behind her hard enough to knock the wind out of herself. 

He turned to face her and she saw that he was different. Blue skin, eyes wide and bloodshot with pinprick violet irises. Odd lines stretched from the corners of his mouth which pulled back in a grimace full of knifelike teeth. She wasn’t as hung up as she thought she should be on this change in appearance. Perhaps she was fresh out of shocks to her system. What else could today throw at her? Why not this, too? 

“Are you okay?”

What an odd question to ask her when her former fiance was a pile of meat beside him. She shook her head violently, not wanting to test his patience by not answering quickly enough.

“Keith doesn’t want me to kill you.” He let out a puff of air through his nose, “Sam hurt you too?”

She nodded. Should she call the cops? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Her phone was in the car. Not-Keith was between her and the door. Fuck. 

“Do you talk?”

He wasn’t hostile yet, maybe she could get out of this if she played her cards right. Talk her way out of this horror show. Bambi nodded, eyes flicking momentarily to her feet. The blood puddle was encroaching on her space again. She’d always suspected the floor in this code violation of an apartment building wasn’t level, what a way to have that confirmed. She turned her gaze back to him. “Who are you?”

He tilted his head like he was surprised she wasn’t running screaming out the door. To be honest, so was she. She might’ve had a chance to escape back when he was busy with Sam and she was genuinely baffled that the shoe had been her first instinct instead. “Tenebris. I’m a part of him.” 

Sure. Normal. Tenebris sat down across from her. Very normal. Just two people and a puddle of blood. Having a conversation. 

Bambi opened her mouth but a knock sounded at the door before she could say anything. Both of them straightened, making startled eye contact.

“Is everything okay? I thought I heard yelling.” Bambi recognized the voice of Sam’s neighbor, two doors down. She’d met him once. What was his name? Luke? Lake? Lance?

Tenebris was looking at her, his eyes narrowed slightly: this was a test. Her mouth was still open so she snapped it shut with an audible clack. The motion caused a tear to streak down her cheek. 

“Sam? You in there?” 

She tried to read what Tenebris wanted her to do in his face. He gave her a small nod; great, he wanted her to cover. She took a deep breath and held it for a moment, steadying herself. “We’re good, man. Thanks for checking up. I sat on the remote and it blasted the volume.” She clenched her hands into fists on the floor, distantly aware that they were now wet.

Panic was beginning to set in. The fear of being caught, the fear of Tenebris sitting across from her, the distress of sitting in the blood of the woman whose name was next to hers on a pile of wedding invitations in her living room. She was shaking badly, every muscle in her body taut as though bracing for some sort of impact. 

Tenebris didn’t look impressed with her improv, but he wasn’t turning her into a human smoothie so she suspected she’d done well enough. 

Luke or Lake or Lance scoffed on the other side of the door, “well don’t fucking do that again, I have a night shift tonight.” Neither of them moved until they heard his footfalls disappear down the hall and his apartment door open and shut. 

When the coast was clear, Tenebris rose and offered a hand to Bambi. She took it without thinking, but cringed when her brain finally caught up. He pulled her up easily and she tried not to slip back onto her ass in her haste to pull away again. 

“What’s your name?”

“Bambi.” 

“Like the deer?” 

She tried not to let the instinctive disdain for the question show on her face. “Just like the deer.” 

He nodded, making an expression like he was proud to have correctly made the connection. “Do you know where she keeps the cleaning supplies?” A nod. “Show me.” 

Bambi led the way, wet sock slapping against the vinyl flooring, to the half bath that contained the cleaning closet. Everything was where she’d left it last time she’d cleaned. Sam had always hated cleaning but Bambi found it relaxing and would stop by to vacuum, mop, and do her laundry for her quite frequently. Most of the things inside had been purchased by Bambi herself. Tenebris filled his arms with supplies and indicated for Bambi to do the same. 

“We’ve gotta make sure this place is spotless before dark so we don’t have to come back after we get rid of the body.” 

He strode out of the bathroom after dropping that bombshell and she watched his back disappear around the corner towards the kitchen. Bambi nearly dropped the bleach on her foot. Fucking we?

From the other room, Tenebris barked a laugh, “Is this your shoe? Did you throw that at me?” His tone seemed a touch too casual for the situation, if you asked her.

Bambi laughed back, though there was no humor in it. Her brain had finally caught up to what was going on and she felt the weight of everything that had and would happen fall onto her shoulders. Their lives were about to become very tightly intertwined.

Son of a bitch, he was making her an accomplice.