#complicated feelings about long dead hobbies

[jesterguy]

Photos...

[zosin-ya]

Topic 8 - [ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ɪɴᴅᴇx]

Summary: Surviving on instant noodles, you order takeout in the middle of exam prep—what you didn’t expect was your delivery guy to be a ridiculously hot, tattooed biker. Even more surprising? He’s a fellow med student at your university. As good as it sounded, he had a complicated past with an obsessive Ex who starts to target you.

tags.: One Piece, Law x Reader, SFW & NSFW, slow burn romance, Modern AU, Penguin and Shachi as flatmates, fashion-designer uncle Corazon, Laws parents, Laws crazy Ex, Strawhats as your friends (+ Bonney), protective Law, mentioned of his dead sister, also mentions of Laws trauma

a.n.: I pulled this story out of my ass and it’s rather spontaneous how I write the story. If you have ideas, I’m open to them 🖤

status: [ongoing] last updated Nov 20th 2024

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 1 - ʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴅᴇʟɪᴠᴇʀʏ

An awkward encounter with the handsome delivery guy, who hardly speaks to you, yet somehow makes your heart skip a beat with his pretty face.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 2 - ɪᴄᴇ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋᴇʀ

Law was at your door once again, this time out of breath and visibly stressed. You offer him something to drink, which sparks a conversation that eventually leads to an exchange of numbers.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 3 - ꜱᴛᴜᴅʏ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ

At the café, you met up for a study date and saw a more relaxed, yet still exhausted, side of Law. Penguin showed up, clearly curious as to why Law was hanging out with someone from his university—especially since he rarely spent time with those people.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 4 - ʙᴏʏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ

Penguin couldn't keep his mouth shut about Law meeting you, which led him and Shachi to bombard him with questions. It was just a study date, right? No big deal. His flatmates quickly realized how oblivious he was. Or was he just denying any meaning, trying to protect himself from another crazy relationship.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 5 - ʟᴀᴛᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ꜰᴜɴ

Law invites you to a party, and after a few drinks, the two of you start to loosen up around each other. So much that the bathroom becomes a short lived make out spot.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 6 - ʟᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʟᴏᴏꜱᴇ (n.sfw)

After you forgot your keys at home and had no where to stay, Law casually offers his apartment for the night without any second intentions. Though the heat from the make out session still lingering in the air.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 7 - ᴡᴏʀᴛʜ ɪᴛ (n.sfw)

You meet Laws kind-hearted uncle, Rosinante, and learn more about his complex family history. What was supposed to be a casual, cozy game night with Law quickly takes an unexpected and more intimate turn.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 8 - ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀᴏᴜꜱ ᴇɴᴄᴏᴜɴᴛᴇʀᴍᴇɴᴛ

A girl you've never met before, starts a chit chat with you during an uni event, you being immediately drawn in by her friendly, outgoing nature. Before you knew it, she invited you to a small party where she hinted you could make some valuable connections. Little did you realize, networking with a biker gang wasn’t exactly what you had in mind for boosting your CV.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 9 - ᴄʜᴀᴏᴛɪᴄ ɢᴀɴɢ

You dearly needed a girl's night with your friends after all what had happened. Law came to pick you up, yet got dragged into the chaos of a spontaneous party with your friends. Someone save this guy.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 10 - ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ? (n.sfw)

This day should have been special, with you and Law celebrating your academic milestone together with friends and family. Yet, Laws private and closed off personality shots back at him, causing you to break down.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 11 - ʙᴜʀᴅᴇɴ

It had been weeks since you had talked to Law, feeling drained from the past events. You needed time to figure the relationship out, which caused you to run away from talking completely and be confronted with a storm, none of you were ready to face.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 12 - ɴᴇᴡ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴꜱ (n.sfw)

Trying to mend the damage he had caused, Law makes an effort to open up to you this time. He shared pieces of his past, including hobbies he’d long buried. He never anticipated that attending Zoro’s Kendo tournament with you would reignite an old spark within him—or that it would stir a newfound desire to impress you.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 13 - ᴇɴᴇᴍɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴀʟʟɪᴇꜱ

Two unexpected intruders—familiar faces no less—show up at your door, shocked to find you inside. Hired to break into what turned out to be the wrong apartment, Kid and Killer aren’t prepared for your defiance. Mustering all the courage you have, you scare them off and waste no time alerting Law, who doesn’t take kindly to their mistake and pays them a visit.

[leverage-ot3]

okay I’ve seen a lot of posts about sterling just being crowley and. guys. the implications just hear me out 😭😭😭

bending lore slightly here BUT let’s say crowley’s body was once inhabited by a human and crowley is possessing the body (maybe he kills the initial inhabitant bc he doesn’t care)

but he still has the guy’s memories. he doesn’t bother keeping up appearances with his ‘ex wife’ because he is too busy building up his hell empire. BUT for some reason he can’t quite identify, he still feels something towards his ‘daughter’. he lets the divorce happen and doesn’t feel the need (or desire) to fight for custody, but he can never quite forget her, to cast her out of his mind for good

some hijinks ensue with the leverage team. it’s mostly because even a grind culture demon wants some off time every once in a while, and for him the insurance investigator stuff is more of a hobby. interacting with the leverage crew is very low stakes for him, and honestly, quite amusing. they aren’t on his level power-wise, but that ford character gives him the mental exercise he hasn’t experienced in, well, he can’t even remember

he can feel their frustration and anger when they learn he has become employed by interpol and feeds off it. it’s great, and relaxing in a way he is never able to achieve while conducting hell-related business

one year he gets wind that olivia is in a really bad situation associated with his ‘ex wife’s’ new husband. he’s selling vital hardware to terrorists, and while that might actually be the kind of chaos he would normally support or be entertained by as the king of hell, something feels wrong about letting olivia stay anywhere near that man

he calls upon the body’s adversaries. he wouldn’t admit it, even under duress, BUT he feels slightly fond of them. nate for the three dimensional chess they play, sophie for her ability to charm and disguise, parker for her chaos and slightly unsettling nature (it’s the autism swag and being bad with human interaction but he doesn’t know that lol), hardison for his unapologetic intelligence and eliot for his hardened violent past and take-no-shit persona (he’s fun to tease)

they perform exactly as he expected, right into his carefully crafted plan. and then olivia is under his care and things get more complicated. he keeps her FAR, FAR away from anything related to the supernatural (heh). no one can find out about her, ESPECIALLY not those imbecile hunter brothers (if for nothing else than the embarrassment in revealing he has a weak spot)

not sure how to work it into this post but I also want to add that somewhere along the way he develops feelings for nate and sophie. the frame up job is near and dear to my heart and you can’t convince me that isn’t fighting as flirting behavior. his interpol persona is more of a side hustle so to speak, but he finds it fun (relaxing, even) to fill that role. there aren’t any obligations of other demons, bothersome hunters, or anything like that. nate and sophie are low stakes, except, they aren’t, really. they make him feel things he can’t ever really remember feeling. his heart beats fast when sophie sat in his lap and cradled his face, his hands sweat when nate gives him that certain smug look. he’s exasperated by the way they can run circles around him like no one else has ever before. they annoy him and get under his skin in a way no one else can and it’s infuriating. but also not, at the same time. maybe he likes it

and then the long goodbye job happens

hear me out and suspend your belief here for a second, because I can’t remember if crowley supernaturally knows when ppl die/are dead or not.

so nate is in interpol custody and the interviewer is obviously out of her depth. (most people are, when it comes to nathan ford.) he walks in and pours the man a drink, but he’s fuming. somewhere along the way he came to care about the team. hell and suffering is literally in his (official) job description, but he can admit (only to himself) that he admires what they do. it’s not for him, not anything close to where his passions and interests lie, but he respects their drive and purpose. he is also aware enough to acknowledge that they are a family, a group of misfits that never belonged quite anywhere except to each other.

and nate fucking blew it up, ruined it, because his vice is being so obsessed with the end game that he is apparently willing to let his team, his family, the people that anchor him to reality, die because the ends supposedly justify the means.

not this time. not to sterling crowley

he is enraged. he can admit within the confines of his mind that he cares for nate, for sophie, even for the other three (though nate and sophie have somehow made it a hierarchy where they are more important to him. which he will dissect later in private. maybe.)

nate let them die, he let sophie die, and for what? the black book? hell below, crowley would have made things easier somehow, if he knew that this was where nate’s sights had lied. he would have prevented this somehow. he wants to have prevented this. he doesn’t want any of them dead and is too afraid to check and verify because that would make it real. the idea of sophie (or any of them) somehow making it to hell instead of heaven would probably break something in him he might not be able to reapir fully.

he yells at nate- he’s angry. hellfire burning in his heart because everything is ruined. the deaths aside (however hard it is to set them aside in his mind), nate will not recover from this, not ever. this will be the start of the end, he is sure. a miserable, guilt-ridden existence where he drinks himself to death and nothing will save him. it plays out in crowley’s mind in a thousand different ways that are beyond painful to conceptualize, even in theory.

the story starts to unravel and there is a game afoot. a solemn, miserable, infuriating game because the con is still in session because parker is alive and in the building- which sets another fire alight in his chest. ‘parker even know you got hardison killed?’ he rages for her grief when she finds out. he knows it will double when she finds out eliot has perished, too, because he isn’t fucking blind.

but nate is a brilliant man, lest he forget too quickly. they are all alive, and somehow still the entire crew slips through his fingers. he’s not even angry (he never would have been- he doesn’t actually try too hard to catch them. it’s about the game, not the consequences). he lets them keep the black book because he’s fucking exhausted and honestly, they more than earned it.

‘now we’re even. tell sophie to drive carefully’. they will never be even, not really. crowley would never admit or agree that being human is the superior state of being, but that have made him feel human in a way he doesn’t actually mind. they keep him on his toes and match him in a way unique to them, they remind him that there are other things than the realm of hell. not necessarily bigger than hell, but maybe just as important in a different sense.

watching the van drive away, something inside him settles. when he walked into the interrogation room that day he thought this was the beginning of the end. it’s not the end at all, not an end to anything. it’s a continuation of their story. maybe, he thinks, a beginning to a new era in it

[jessilynallendilla]

SHAZAM/CAPTAIN MARVEL FIC REC

TITLE/LINK RATING COMPLETED-WORD-COUNT SERIES

let me know if the links aren't working and feel free to suggest any

We Have Nothing To Fear Except Ourselves  T 1,773 SERIES 

"Superboy will be staying at Mount Justice for now," Bruce says. He doesn't look at Clark as he says it. Clark doesn't look at him either. 

". . . Mount Justice is a cave," Captain Marvel says, clearly even more bewildered. "And Superboy is solar-powered. Isn't that kind of . . . I don't know . . . mean?" 

"'Mean'?" Clark repeats in disbelief before he can think better of it. 

Captain Marvel And The Shadow Demon  G 952 SERIES 

He floated down, knelt on the ground and extended the back of his hand toward the creature. The creature cautiously padded out of Superman’s shadow toward him and sniffed his hand, before rubbing it’s head affectionately against it.  “Heh… you aren’t nearly as scary as everyone makes you out to be.”  “Mrrrrp” the creature replied, still head butting his hand 

Super Reporters AU: That One Time A Half-Kryptonian Visited Fawcett City  G 8,185 SERIES 

Clark and Lois had a predicament, on one hand, Clark had some League Business offworld. On the other hand, Lois had to go undercover for a scoop on an underground crime ring, both can’t take care of 5 year old Jon, luckily for Clark, his honorary little brother, Billy is willing to accompany him in the peculiar Fawcett city. 

Super Reporter Billy Batson  G 19,114 SERIES 

Little Billy Batson has just been transformed into a grown man - the superhero Captain Marvel. Thrown into a crazy new world of super heroics, the little boy embraces his new life and the responsibilities that come with it. 

STRIKE A VIOLENT POSE.  G 2,376 

There is something about Shazam that Clark really doesn't get, until he does 

A Christmas Peril  M 

The ghosts of Christmas past present and future have fallen upon the Wayne household when three mentally and physically abused children come to stay. Its horrible enough that Jon has been isolated due to the destructive capabilities of his powers. Or that Billy has been left orphaned and homeless. But when Batman learns what Talia has been putting his son through. It might just push him over the edge. This leads to an overly publicised custody battle between Gotham's billionaire playboy and the wealthy religious socialite with a cult following and an assassination hobby. 

The Outsider  T 

Damian’s mission was simple. A routine drug bust that just happened to take place in Fawcett. Easy stuff. But while there, he runs into a kid with a heroic streak and a look that’s a bit too familiar. That meeting ends up changing his entire life. 

As Atlas Holds The World On His Shoulders  T 22,016 SERIES 

Billy was doing fine. Not great, but fine. He definitely didn’t need some billionaire from Gotham City of all places to throw at least 13 wrenches in his plan 

The Butler's Apprentice  T  

Billy Batson, fiercely independent and a homeless part-time superhero, finds himself in the streets of Gotham with no money, no food, and no voice. Unable to transform into Captain Marvel (Shazam), he gains unexpected help in the form of a polite and respectable butler. 

The One With The Bat's Son  T 3,405 

“Batman has seven kids.”  Wally blinked. “You’re shitting me.”  “Not even a little, I just overheard him and Supes talking.”  “Oh my god,” he breathed, staring at Hal incredulously. “You don’t think -?”  Hal nodded, slowly and seriously. “Batman could be Captain Marvel’s dad.” 

The Time Lost In Between  T 34,780 SERIES 

Everyone knows Batman knows everything about everyone, no matter how secretive they might be. What everyone doesn't know is that the Dark Knight knows nothing about Captain Marvel, no matter what he does to try to. And now, he thinks he might just have a lead, a lead that would finally let him tear apart the puzzle that's troubled him for so long. The only complication? Captain Marvel is wearing a dead man's face. 

Billy Accidentally Gets Kidnapped ��NR 3,794 

Bruce needs some sleep, all the black haired blue eyed kids are starting to look the same to him. Billy just wants to do his job. In other words, I love the idea of Bruce accidentally kidnapping Billy, it happens in my other story too 

A Natural Progression  NR 92,427 SERIES 

Billy's in a bad place. Consistently on the run from bullies and the like, unable to eat or find a stable place to sleep for more than a week Sure, he's Captain Marvel, but he'd never use his powers for his own gain. Thankfully, Alfred Pennyworth comes to the rescue. 

Billy Batson And The Troubles Of Work-Life Balance  T SERIES 

No one in the League could rightly say they knew exactly who, or what, Captain Marvel was. Billy Batson did not have any plans on changing that status. Maybe he should stop feeding into the rumor mill, then. 

Captain Marvel's Adopted?  T 8,504 

When Captain Marvel sends out a distress call, the only League member available is Batman. Bruce comes to his aid, but he finds out that Billy is a 10-year-old homeless orphan with black hair and blue eyes. Obviously, he makes the only logical decision and adopts Billy. Because it's Bruce—who's allergic to revealing life-changing information—the League is left in the dark. 

From The Shadows  T 88,074 

All Billy Batson wanted was to survive a particularly rough week living on the streets of Fawcett City. The last thing he was looking for was a new family. All Bruce Wayne wanted was to learn a bit more about his upbeat teammate under the guise of official Wayne Enterprises business. But he could never turn his back on a child in need. Especially one as surrounded by mystery as Billy. OR Billy gets adopted by the Batfamily while trying to deal with a strong magical enemy. 

The Marvelous Adventures Of The SuperBat Family  T 

Batman's suspicions that Captain Marvel is autistic snowball out of control and before he knows it he's playing father figure to an impressionable homeless kid along with Superman. There's nothing wrong with panicking and accidentally taking care of another kid, right? Now if they could just figure out why everyone seems to think that they're dating then they should have everything figured out. Right? 

Of Gods And Bats  T 

After Billy Batson gets attacked by something he doesn't understand, he decides to call Batman to help him find the source of the attacks. Little does he know, this sets up a series of events that will change his life forever. Billy has always been an orphan and has learned to take care of himself – but can he learn to accept help from others and really let someone know him? 

Like Going Through Hell On A Sunday  M 54,568 

Jason Todd has to bring Damian to Gotham for his protection, meets Billy along the way and just doesn't know how he's supposed to keep these kids safe while dealing with his trauma (aka killing that damn clown) 

Billy Batson And The Phantom  T 

When a video goes viral of a teenager, who looks strikingly like the superhero known as Captain Marvel, having lightning powers and fighting shadowy enemies, it results in a lot of rumors, theories, and worst of all, conspiracies, that the teen might be the Captain's illegitimate or secret son. Billy Batson, the person underneath the Captain Marvel transformation and a teenager at the tender age of fourteen-years-old knows there is literally no way that this teenager could be his child. Nonetheless, Superman encourages Captain Marvel to help aide in the search for the teenager in order to find out the true happenings of that night in the woods. Billy goes along with it, fearing that if he pushes too hard, he might reveal his secret identity and most of all, his true age, to the Justice League. Besides, how hard could it be to find one teenager? Billy really should have taken his own experiences to heart because as it turns it, the answer to that question is: very hard. 

Who's Old Now?  T 36017 

what happens when a twelve year old masquerading as an adult superhero calls his guardian, an adult who can also turn into a child superhero, on speaker phone, in front of the Justice League. 

[sodamnradd]

“Give it up, Draco. You found what people spend a lifetime searching for, and you just let her leave without you.” Blaise fell back onto the leather sofa and crossed his ankles, looking pensively into the fire. “What I don’t understand is why. You keep saying that if anyone will win, it’s her. And yet here you are.”

Draco opened his mouth to deny, deny, deny. But what was the point? Blaise had seen them together in the prefects’ bath, and later, when Draco tried brushing it off as a casual hook-up, Blaise had only shaken his head and said, ‘I saw your face,’ as if that was supposed to override any lies that came out of Draco’s mouth.

His stomach had been a tangle of nerves since Granger had kissed him goodbye and disappeared with Potter and Weasley to save the world. That was the issue with Gryffindors, forever killing themselves over the next big heroic deed. He wasn’t like them.

“What would you have done?” sniped Draco. It was easy to cast judgement from afar, but Blaise wasn’t living it. “Would you just turn your back on your mother? On your friends? To hell with everyone if you’re in love?”

Blaise gave him a side-long look, grinning. “Are you in love?”

“You seem to think I am.”

“Do you see a future with her?”

“If the world wasn’t so fucked up?”

“Yeah.”

Draco didn’t really have to imagine it because it’s all he’d been thinking about since he first kissed Granger nine months ago.

It wasn’t just her physical being—the charged, tantalising pull of their bodies like opposing magnets—but a vision of what their life could look like. Granger didn’t need pure-blood persuasion to pave her way into the world. She could be self-made. And Draco would stand proudly beside her, as he did best. He could manage the accounts, pursue his hobbies, while ensuring Granger never felt alone navigating her mountainous ambitions.

Draco lived a satiated life, but with Hermione, all he knew was starvation. She was the one thing he didn’t want to barter or consume in small bites. If he had her, he was going to feast.

“It’s not that simple,” he concluded. “It’s not some playground romance anymore. She’s out there risking her life. I can’t afford to love her how I want if she’s just going to wind up dead.”

“Take this from someone who’s buried seven fathers—death is preventable.”

Draco looked up at Blaise, surprised.

His friend had an eerie look on his face, made worse by the fire casting strange shadows over him, but Draco knew the Zabinis had a complicated relationship with murder. And that’s what he meant: murder was preventable, not death.

“What makes you think I could protect her any better than Potter could?”

“The Dark Lord trusts you, you’re a sneaky fuck, and you’re in love. Nobody will fight harder to win.”

~

Donning a backpack full of survival gear, his wand, and the warmest clothes he owned, Draco used their matching bracelets to Port-Key to Granger the next Saturday morning.

She had woven the bracelets with colourful thread—red and gold for him, green and silver for her—and the next week, Draco had adhered matching charms to them. She didn’t know that he could sense her through it. That when she fingered the cool metal engraved with his constellation at night, he felt her presence. Or that it was a gateway to each other using the right spell.

Maybe he’d known he’d follow her all along.

The bracelet transported Draco to lush, crawling hills and enormous, craggy rocks. The sky hung bright white above him. He could sense Granger’s magic in the air, or maybe it was her perfume drifting in the breeze. He inhaled deeply, feeling closer to her already.

There was nobody around when he heard the gasp directly behind him.

He turned and saw the air wobble. The ward he hadn’t realised was there descended. Granger stood two feet away, eyes wide and lips parted. She was thin and pale and seemed afraid.

Regret washed over him. He should have come sooner.

“How do I know it’s really you?” she demanded, wand clutched tightly by her side, a combination of fear and hope flickering in her eyes.

Draco dropped his bag by his feet, taking three strong strides forward. He framed her cold cheeks in his hands, hoping she saw the look on his face and remembered how much she meant to him. He said, “Because nobody else knows how much I love you.”

He kissed her, and a second later, Granger threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back, sobbing.

“I’m here to stay,” he reassured her, holding her tightly. “I’m here to fight.”

And he thought of Blaise in the Slytherin common room, the only one who knew of Draco’s whereabouts, and their discussions of love and death. And he thought of the future he’d seen with Hermione, and he thought he could have it, maybe even a better version of it. One that didn’t involve him at home, pursuing hobbies, but being worth something, too. He could be that. He wanted to be that.

Draco wanted to feast.

(873 words, inspired by Don't Swallow The Cap by The National)

[o-hora-o]

pssst what are your thoughts on welt x tesla?

Do I see Joachim and Tesla as a couple? Yes.  

Do I like this couple? No.  

Here's why. So, we have this story about a little neighbour boy who occasionally skipped school and was babysat from time to time. And he wasn't even properly babysat - Ein and mostly Tesla were just fooling around with him doing cool, funny stuff. (Don't throw the "big sisters" thing at me because that was just how Joyce perceived their relationship.) And it was like that for what... a year or two? Then 1955 happened. The next time they saw each other was in 1956 for a couple of months, and then Joachim ran away for 20+ years.  

And then Joachim returned as a full-grown man, a completely different person. So that's where I start to consider him and Tesla to develop some feelings for each other - not when they were 8 and 21, thank you very much. And to be honest, the older they get, the less this age gap feels, even with Tesla keeping her youthful appearance. (Don't throw age-gap accusations at einjoyce einjoyer, it will lead you nowhere.) So, do I think that Tesla can be considered his mother? No. Do I think Tesla can be considered his big sister? No. Do I think Tesla can be considered his childhood friend with whom he later on developed some sort of chemistry? Yes.  

Now moving on to the reason why I think this couple is just too melancholic, complicated and burdensome. On one hand, we have Tesla, this romantic soul full of feelings, empathy, and love. No matter how important the AE organization, saving humanity and her job were to her, she always worried and cared about Joachim first. The tragedy of her character lies in the fact that she continues to look for that human part of him which he hid behind the mask of a hero of humanity named "Welt Yang". She will always love and worry about him as a simple man named Joachim who is somewhere deep inside. But he would never choose her - not her love, nor her care. He had long ago made himself an instrument for self-sacrifice, for the salvation of every single living being. And even when he was given the chance to live the simple life of a simple man, he... did not really choose her. He chose a job, a hobby, and then the saving-the-world thing once again. 

Yes, he chose to protect her, protect his family, his friends. But is he a good lover? Perhaps not, because he never had a chance to learn how to express all these feelings. He loves Tesla and cares about her. But when it comes to the situation where he can play this hero role once again, he'd never choose her. Am I irritated by what happened in APHO and Joachim's behaviour in HSR? Yes. Simply because all of it is just too much and unfair for Tesla's poor heart. I understand his decisions and all, but it all could have been very different, and he's at fault for the situation he ended up in (or the writers' laziness to make it more reasonable).  

And now we have Joachim, who went to get milk for God knows how long. After all, there's always this chance that he may spend a couple of months on his mission but decades will pass on Earth. And then we have Tesla, who randomly became a single mother, not knowing whether Joachim is dead out there or not, so she was left to eternally worry and think that she was never good enough to be loved 

[ask-spooky-manor]

Toby Character Headcanons

So I was tagged with a list of questions for me to answer that I reblogged, and while none of them were sent in my inbox, I still wanted to answer some cause they were really interesting.

Trigger Warning: I do talk about how abuse has affected Toby and how it has left some long lasting scars mentally and emotionally speaking. Not all of the headcanons are like that though, just be cautious. Nothing too in detail but can be uncomfortable

Clothing style

Toby’s style is like mixing grunge with cottagecore (goblincore is what it’s usually called). He likes his knitted sweaters and earthy tones, but at the same time he enjoyes ripped jeans and chunky black boots that can basically double as a weapon.

Eating Habits

Toby has a massive appetite. You will always catch him with a snack in his hands or complaining that he’s hungry despite having eaten a full meal not ten minutes ago. He just really likes food, and people in the house know to give him an extra serving for dinner

Hobbies

Music is more of a passion so tinkering around and making little gadgets is probably his number one hobby. He mainly likes to make things that blow up. Other general hobbies he has are cooking, hiking, uhhhh arson, and drawing

Fighting Style

He’s fully aware that he’s not the strongest or fastest or even has the most endurance, but Toby is extremely clever and crafty. He thinks way outside of the box and relies heavily on all of his odd little gadgets and inventions to surprise an enemy like smoke bombs, traps, loud fire crackers, you name it. He is an unpredictable fighter because you’ll never know what he has up his sleeves, and the surprise is something he will very much use against you. Not to mention that when he’s stuck in a sticky situation, he’s really good at coming up with on the spot plans that will get him out of trouble.

Ways he says I love you

Well, he will just say it. Toby won’t shy away from using the L word on anyone he even mildly likes. Though another way he shows it is through encouraging his loved ones to take care of themselves. He will make sure you eat properly, sleep well, take your meds, etc. Also hugs, Toby is a hugger.

Introvert or Extrovert

Extrovert, which surprised him when he realized it. Toby thought he was introverted for the longest time when in reality he was just dealing with a lot of nasty people who made him feel unsafe. Being alone felt safer, but at the same time it made him miserable because he naturally gains more energy with good people around. Ending up in the manor was the best thing to happen to him because now he has buddies he can spend time with like all the time.

Religious or Non-religious?

Complicated as fuck. He was raised Christian only to kind of despise organized religions as a whole. He would say he’s an atheist if he didn’t live with a literal moon god (Ben), so now he just has a beef with gods in general (Except Ben, they’re chill). Basically he thinks about how if these beings really are all powerful, all kind, all forgiving and omniscient and good then why the fuck did none of them help him? Why did it reach a point where he killed his own father? Why was he never saved? Basically, the idea of there being a higher power gets him in a bitter mood. Best to avoid the subject altogether.

Something he could never forgive.

Toby is generally a forgiving person but the one thing he could never forgive is when someone takes advantage of the kindness he is willing to give. Classmates did it in school as a way to bully him, and his dad would sometimes guilt trip favors out of him (usually to sneak him more beer, which will end up biting Toby in the ass when facing his drunk dad later on). Just the general act of trying to manipulate Toby, knowing they can toy with the heart he wears on his sleeve, is enough for him to want that person dead.

Something that scares him.

For the small, irrational fear; Toby is afraid of the dark. It’s just a childhood fear that he never really got over. It’s fine if he’s with someone but being alone in the dark will put him in fight or flight mode. For the bigger existential shit: dreads the idea of everyone secretly hating him. His own father and peers have created this idea in Toby’s mind that there is nothing good about him. That his own existence is nothing but a burden on others, so there’s always this fear that his friends and even his own boyfriend don’t actually like him and that it’s all a front. He knows that realistically that’s not true, but it’s hard fighting against a toxic mindset that was pushed into his brain at such a young age.

Did he grow up too fast?

No, thankfully. It was Lyra who had to grow up too fast. Connie did her best, she really did, but there have been a lot of times where it was Lyra who had to care for Toby. Especially after really bad nights where their dad thought having one more bottle wouldn’t be a problem. Toby was unlucky enough to have been surrounded by people that were cruel to him, but thanks to Lyra and his mom he at least was able to be a kid from time to time.

[frownyalfred]

If this too much or too personal please ignore!

But I was just wondering if you had any advice for grieving? (I lost a close family member very recently)

I'm so sorry for your loss, anon. I don't know your exact situation, but I hope your loved one's memory is a blessing to you and your family. I'll leave my thoughts below the break, since I'll discuss death and dying a little.

I am, as many people on here likely know, still grieving the loss of my father. It was sudden and unexpected. It was bloody and somewhat traumatic for our family. Thinking about it still leaves me dazed and unfocused.

Grieving is such a strange process. I've been talking about it with my therapist weekly, and her main takeaway has been that there is no right way to do it -- and that it is far from linear. There are positive moments and regressions. There are funny memories and difficult truths to grapple with. There is anger, confusion, sadness. Despair. So many unanswered questions and moments that hover on the edge of veneration simply because they are the only ones you have left.

How did I grieve? I cried a lot, at first. I took off work and sat shiva with my family. I answered a thousand well-meaning messages and played one singular song on repeat on my phone. I barely slept. I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed. I woke up crying without remembering exactly what I had been dreaming about.

Then, as if in reprieve, my brain let up. I slept somewhat normally again. My body was no longer on the edge of tears at any given moment, nor was I entirely numb. Slowly, I began to think of normal things again; new television shows, updating a chapter, irritation at the banal things like traffic and work.

And anon, I thought to myself, this must be it. I'm no longer "grieving," or at least not in the traditional sense of the word. I was eating, sleeping, going to the gym and work, updating my works and hitting the club again on the weekends.

But I wasn't done. And I'm not sure I ever will be. I wanted to be done, in so many ways. I was mad at my father for dying, for making me grieve, for keeping me in this state where I couldn't be confident in anything I was feeling, any progress I was making. Where I could remain silent and resolute at his burial, but sob like a baby in my apartment when the concert t-shirt he gave me was stained by some soup.

But that's a lot to put on the dead. And sometimes I have to keep reminding myself that -- that he is dead, that there is a gap in my life I keep trying to skip over, like avoiding tonguing at the aching tooth in the back of my mouth. And when I forget, the world is more than glad to remind me, whether through well-meaning neighbors, colleagues, etc etc.

I suppose that's a long way of saying, I think I'm still grieving anon. I'm not sure I'm doing the best at it, active or involuntary as this process seems to be. I have an amazing support network, but so much of this work seems to be solitary, even when someone is sitting right next to you, crying with you.

The Jewish saying "May their memory be a blessing" has been a good focal point for me, I think. It dovetails nicely with the Mandalorian saying "Not gone, merely marching far away." I've thought about both a lot in the last few months, because I'm a huge nerd and also because I don't think the cultures are too dissimilar.

Let your loved one's memory be a blessing in your life, anon. Remember the happy moments, and speak them out loud if you're able. Don't let their name remain sacred. Don't sanctify them, for we are all humans and humans are complicated, but don't leave their life behind you.

Those memories of them, those funny moments and sad days, fun trips and strange conflicts, those are all yours now. No one else has them. And when you and your family are gone, those memories are gone too.

Other small things that have made this whole process easier: Starbucks and DoorDash giftcards (seriously, some days are too hard), letting myself take time off hobbies (gym/writing) without penalizing myself, naming my grief and allowing myself to sit in it (I'm sad today about x, and I want to lie down for a few hours. I'm lying down because I'm feeling sad about x, and I'm allowed to feel that way). Going to the gym and running until the natural endorphins help. Talking with my families about good and complicated moments with my dad. Writing, when I'm able. Reminding myself it's okay to not be very functional, that it's okay to not be perfect and you would never expect someone who is grieving to be so. Talking to a therapist and getting treatment for what I experienced. Accepting the kind words of others, even if they hurt or are unintentionally difficult.

I'm sorry you're going through this anon. I know how you feel, or at least some of what you feel. I hope you have support and loved ones around you who can help shoulder some of this process.

<3 Jay

[sadboytournament]

ROUND ONE

Propaganda

Ja'far: My favourite sad adult man. He is physically unable to catch a break. There are so many things I could give here, his tragic backstory as an assassin which is sadly never explained in much detail (but this is magi and I’ve learned not to expect too much), despite this it clearly has a strong impact on his character thought the series. Like the persistent self worth issues, and how that relates to his unhealthy work-life balance, he’s never really not had a job. There are occasionally points when good thing happen, only for them to be immediately followed up by tragedy. Rurumu is the perfect example of this, she genuinely cared so much about him and ended up adopting him and it was so sweet, but god forbid he’s allowed to be happy so everything goes wrong and she end up dying (which makes him two for two in the dead mom department). Not to mention his relationship with Sinbad and how their last conversation was Sinbad lying to his face and leaving him. The poor guy doesn’t even get a happy ending, he’s just waiting for Sinbad to come back, he has no personal goals or hobby’s, Sinbad was quite literally his home and reason for living, but now he’s gone. I’m so bad at expressing my feelings about this guy, just because there are so many and it’s so complicated. Magi honestly sucks in a lot of ways but the way Sinbad and Ja’far are written is absolutely fantastic, they were always destined to end poorly but it still hurts to watch their relationship fall apart the way it did. I haven’t even mentioned the fall of the first Sindria which was a whole thing, two of his oldest die in front of him, only form him to find out afterwards that his adoptive mom and another close friend have also died. He was 14 at the time, he had so much going on and just had to pick up the pieces afterwards. It’s such a shame we were never shown the aftermath of the whole thing it would have been so interesting! But again this is magi, most thing are pretty disappointing. There are probably other things I could go on about, but I can’t remember them and this is a bit long.

Marius Pontmercy: I'm still sad about him losing round 1 last time.True sadboy behaviour. The Les Mis = Sadboys argument still stands, and also uh. His friends die. You know how it is. In the musical he sings a whole song about how empty the chairs and tables are without the homeboys. Truly a travesty.

[dragonsrawesomesauce]

Introduction to me!

Hello there! My name is Johnathan (he/him). My other account is @jonathanthetranswriter , but the device with that account is currently down for the count.

LGBTQ+

I am a transgender man who is also a-spec (a label I’m still trying to figure out). I love my community and I’m completely supportive! I believe that as long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else in anyway shape or form, you should be free to express yourself however!

Hobbies!

I like writing, scrapbooking, and light gaming. That’s about it, I’m pretty boring.

Interests!

I’m going to attempt to list my interests. This list will be in no way conclusive, it’s just some of the things I like!

Cartoons:

Gravity Falls

Star vs the forces of evil

Wander over yonder

The owl house

Dead end paranormal park

Steven Universe

Hilda

The last kids on earth

+SO MANY MORE!!!!

Anime:

Saiki k

Ouran high school host club

Kotaro lives alone

Romantic killer

Madoka Magica

Mob psycho 100

Spy x family

+SO MANY MORE

Games:

Cult of the Lamb

Minecraft

Cosmic Wheel of Sisterhood

Slime rancher

Stardew Valley

Animal Crossing

Omori

Little Misfortune

+SO MUCH MORE

Fun facts about me!

-my best friend named me

-I love my friends

-I don’t think I’ve ever ended a year with the same label(s) I started with (feelings are complicated)

-Halloween is my favorite holiday ever!!

-I like musicals!

If you’ve made it this far, I really appreciate you reading this!! If you would like to be mutuals (and you’re not the bad kind of weirdo/a young minor) feel free to reach out!

[ca-suffit]

How do you rationalize the violence of the characters on this show? Imo, it's easier when it's self defense or when they're just killing to feed, specially the latter since most are just extras and we don't get to know or be attached to those characters. But there are more complicated cases, including physical and psychological abuse and literally everybody has been the abused and the abuser at some point. Not to/with each other, but definitely other people. There is power imbalance in all of the dynamics. Some may forget that since they keep jumping through timelines where things are perfectly okay or they're closer to making amends and making up. And also because the actors are friends and have chemistry on screen (speaking about the whole cast, not any duo in particular). But technically all main characters have abused each other. Nobody is "safe". So, where to draw the line? Psychological abuse? Physical abuse? The severity of the action (like continuously torturing someone who can't respond or match your strength is definitely worse than one punch, for example)? The frequency of the action, like, as long as it happened once it's okay? When a character is still redeemable/forgivable giving the fact they are immortals, so, in theory, they have eternity to better themselves and see if they can make it work? Or should they all be narratively punished (end up alone, suffering, locked up, dead etc)? What are your thoughts? Btw, I'm genuinely asking. I've become obsessed with this show recently and I haven't been able to talk about it with a lot of people, but I have these questions in my mind. Personally, the more I think about it, the less I know, tbh. It's part of why I love the show and I'm asking, btw. I want to see if I reach some conclusion lol. P.S. I understand if you can't/don't want to answer and I'm sorry this got too long. And if you do answer, feel free to make it long as well if you want, even if you want to make comparisons, add interviews etc. I love reading people's takes hehe. Anywa, thanks!

I don't try to rationalize it tbh. I think that's a goal of the show and the original books as well. What are u supposed to do if u have to "endure" each other forever? What still holds meaning if ur all immortal, how do u have relationships, hobbies, not get bored? Especially when everyone is born from trauma and sometimes that trauma was yesterday and sometimes it was 1000 years ago or 5000 years ago from a society u don't understand at all. How do u bring together so many ppl like that and not erupt on each other?

Trauma and mental illness and whatever else is not always pretty. Violent reactions to things are common and, at least in a society where punitive justice is the norm, we get used to putting these things in these boxes. "u did this bad thing so now ur going to jail / hell." The eternal question of the VC books is where do vampires belong, anyway? Where do they go when they die and for what reasons? Anne Rice never gives a v clear answer on this and it's not just bcuz she wasn't a good writer, the point rly is to just ask the questions. We don't have these answers as humans now, we can't confirm or deny if there's an afterlife and whether these things we do matter for a "soul" or not. We create social rules for many reasons but even those are not actually built on the back of "justice" the way ppl are made to think they are.

I don't think these stories are asking u to find a true "good" or "bad" character or characters. I think we're just meant to watch their choices and reflect on them, reflect on our reactions to them. The fandom's desire for Louis to have done something to "deserve" the drop is all about racism and nothing else. They blame Claudia for "manipulating" Louis into killing Lestat bcuz a black girl is never allowed to be a victim either. She's not even a girl to them anyway, adultification of black girls is another angle they use all the time ("she doesn't look 14 to me!"). They'll say look what Louis did to goad Lestat into fighting him more but they'll never say look what Lestat did to hurt Claudia and push her to that point, as someone who was acting as her parent for most of their lives together. That's always "ooc Lestat." What's happening on screen is a rorschach test for us as the audience and as individuals.

Like I wrote, I don't believe in punitive justice, so I don't think long term these stories are going to focus on that much. The trial was a sham to begin with and Lestat was never "rly" dead or meant to be gone forever. They're going to hurt each other and isolate each other in different ways, but if the show wants to focus on any real character growth, it needs to focus on ways the characters can learn to understand each other instead of banishing / killing each other. Relationships take real work like this too. Anne Rice could never write any of this but I'm hoping the show does. Seeing Lestat have awareness of the pain he caused Louis and the reasons he did it fr was a step in the direction I was hoping the show would go. The big question *is* how does a relationship recover from that? For immortals? How will it make others feel too, particularly Armand, if Louis and Lestat get back together? Will Armand reflect on his own abuse too? They all have a lot in common and they all want to be loved. If that's brought out into the open and treated with kindness and understanding, then the desire to maim and kill each other will greatly diminish tbh. Everything these vampires do to each other originates from a place of personal pain, feeling unlovable. "love is a monster" is one of the taglines for a reason.

[gege-wondering-around]

So, today I was out celebrating the last day of school with two of my friends and one of them asked me about writing advices cause he knows I write fanfics and I thought to share with everyone who might need it the same things I told him today.

You don't have to stress over what you write, take your time and follow your flow of work, it'll all come to you.

Embrace what writing gives you. Which could mean: a new way of thinking about certain topics after you wrote them, the way you approach things you never thought about before (and how, after your 'first interaction' with the topic, you wanna interact with future topics)

Understand where you work better. Because it's not about forcing yourself to write, but finding the 'circumstances' (or settings if you prefer) in which you work better, for example for me is sitting on the stairs out my front door, or in the garden.

Do it for yourself. I understand you wanna post it online but you shouldn't think about setting a dead line for yourself, no one is running after you and you can take your time.

And if you don't wanna post it online. Even if no one or only a few people you choose will read your work, it'll still be amazing and proof of your commitment and effort. You don't have to post it to be a writer.

For as long as your work exists, you're doing amazing! Whether it's a WIP, a simple idea, a single line, it's amazing and the beginning of your journey as a writer.

Write what you want and like. It can be cliche or 'the usual thing' but it's still important and valid cause it's coming from you and you're special simply you are you, which means your work, even if it's a 'common plot' (which it never is cause your interpretation of it makes it special) will be unique because You wrote it.

Be proud of what you do. Never beat yourself up or compare yourself to other writers, you (as a beginner or not) have your own way of writing and your ideas are special and worth your efforts and time.

Don't start off thinking your work is overall bad. Don't block yourself over self criticism, if you can't choose a genre or trope it's fine, experiment with them all see which one you wanna explore more. But don't block yourself right at the start.

Understand it takes time. If you wanna go for a oneshot without many sub plots or you wanna simply write a scene you're in live with, you might not have this problem, but if you go for a complicate structured fic, for which you need infos (canon or fanon) it will take time to find what you need (or create the connections/infos you'll need).

Little plot maps can save you on the long run. If you plan to write something big, complicated and with many connections along the narration, a plot-map can help you. Ex. : you write a buller point of events, highlight the connection where you want them and so on.

You don't have to be the 'greatest of them all'. You can be you and write your story, you don't have to be worldwide know to be a legitimate write. You are a writer the second you picked up the pen/open the document and started thinking about it.

To be a writer you don't have to meet any standard. There are no standard (apart from guidelines of sites and simple common sense. Ex. Don't be racist). You can write any length, any genre, any trope, any shit, any setting, any AU, anything. Do as you want (and remember to be respectful).

Enjoy what you do. It might be your calling in life or just a little hobby of yours, either way, ENJOY EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. Don't fall in the mindset of 'I have to this - i have to that' DO WHAT YOU ENJOY.

When you feel like you're losing motivation, remember why you started in the first place. It common to lose motivation and it does make you less of a writer, it's human to fall out of something when it takes more than what you expected, but it's necessarily not a bad thing. Motivation is showed through your dedocation, your dedication through your effort, your effort through your work. It will take time to write it and you'll be proud of it every day you'll look at it, especially when you love what you write. I promise you, if you feel like your motivation is slipping away, see how much effort you put in your work and re-read it, you'll fall in love with it even more and your motivation will be back.

You don't have to write every day. You can take pauses, big or small, through your work. A hour, a day, a week, a month, a year.

Write when you feel like writing. Some days you'll be exhausted and drained of all energy and it's okay, maybe that day you won't write and it's completely fine. Your writing time is for yourself, it's not a daily tast you have to accomplish to feel fullfilled. Your writing time is something you do spontaneously and willingly, don't force yourself to write when you feel like nothing can come out of your creativity/mind/pen.

If nothing comes to you about what to write next in your plot/work/chapter, take a break and change your 'settings'. If you write at your desk, on your pc (or any other electronics), take a sheet of paper and a pen, go outside or somewhere you like (my advice is outside, around nature) and sit down. Things and ideas will come at you, the pen and paper will help you get in touch with your ideas without any pressure.

Docs on 'forever pages'. I don't know exactly how it's called in English, but on google docs you can put this long infinite scroll of one screen-big page which can help you reduce anxiety and the feeling of being pressured to fill the entire page with words. (I highly suggest this if you can, it helps a lot. Also, change the paper color to any color you like, i personally use a light gray) (if you don't have this option: you don't have to fill the whole page to end a chapter/work. You can end it in a single line and leave the rest of the sheet blank, it's okay. Don't write something you feel as unnecessary.)

Haters exist. It sucks but it's true, there'll be someone that will hate on your work just to spead hate, but it doesn't mean your work is bad. Remember, for as long as you love your work, that's the only opinion that matters.

And please, remember these are just the suggestions/advices I gave to him and to myself when I first stared writing and I learned them as I wrote more and more. You don't have to follow any of this but if they managed to help you, I'm glad they did.

YOU ARE A WRITER, DESPITE EVERYTHING, YOU ARE.

You're an amazing, talented writer and no one can take that away from you and if you are a beginner or you want to try to write, please do. Take your time, enjoy the ride and live the life. You'll be amazing at what you do.

Also, I'm proud of you. whether you wrote 10, 100, 1000 or 10.000 words today or in the last week, or month.

I AM PROUD OF YOU.

AND SO YOU SHOULD BE TOO.

you are doing amazing just because you started, you're gonna be fantastic cause you are meant to do great things, and everything you love will show you how much it loves you back.

BE PROUD. BE YOU. BE THE WRITER YOU WANT TO BE.

[flowers-of-io]

So me and my friend were talking about Savathun and I wanted to have your thoughts about something she said

She said that the problem that she has with Savathun’s character arc is the fact that she feels like it’s pointless for her to have a character arc because it will just end with Bungie saying "She was just evil "

She also said that she doesnt get why people are saying "Savathun was given a chance and still chose her old ways " ; for her it makes sense that Savathun chose her old ways because

1) She is wanted by everyone and she is seen, everyone will kill her on the spot so she needs to protect herself ; 2) Even if she tries to be better, people will still look her as bad (because she hurted a lot of people). Eramis has the support of Mithrax and her Family to be better but Savathun has no one and if she died, except her sister , people will not cry or be sorry , they will just say "Dont cry, the world is better without her " or something along those lines

So she said "if Savathun chose to stay bad, people in Destiny will hate her and if she tries to be good, people will still hate her so she chose the logical option "

Of course, she doesnt deny the suffering that Savathun has caused but she feels like her character arc will just end up with "Savathun appears-> gets developped -> does something so bad that everyone just wants her dead-> Savathun dies -> end with "Savathun was just bad"

Omg I somehow totally missed this message, I'm so sorry for however long it has been lying in my inbox ;o;

I... kinda agree. And I hate that I agree! Because TWQ ended with such potential for a strong redemption arc for Sav, and then Season of the Witch rolled in and went "Oh actually she's been killing her own Lightbearers as a hobby :)" and I don't understand anything anymore. Savathûn, the tactician, the smartass, who hand-picked the Ghosts who'd join her and eventually rez Hive, now running around and killing them for... what? To fuel her training crystals? While she's involved in active war on two different fronts??? Ma'am. I need explanations.

There's no doubt Savathûn is atrocious and has caused enough suffering in the world to balance out thousands upon thousands lifetimes of nothing but good deeds, but eugh. Some of the decisions this season seem to me like the writers were bending over backwards just to show how Evil!!!!! she is, with no rhyme or reason. Yeah sure, show her killing people in gruesome ways!!! Show her fucking with their minds like she did with Osiris and Uldren!!! When it's in character. When it makes sense. I don't really understand why they'd throw away AN ESTABLISHED DYNAMIC between her and Immaru only to show her being mean to her Ghost, so 'she can't be a real Guardian now, can she'.

In this manner, I agree and also fear a little that Sav's storyline is going to be nothing but a cautionary tale of someone being gifted the Light and a second chance and squandering this opportunity, remaining Evil forever. It would be such a waste and I would cry.

The reason for why she chose to stay in her own ways, or at least act like it (and I'm talking here mainly about the events of TWQ, because this season has been very... weird about it?? and I don't yet know where I stand wrt this new info) is in my opinion a bit more complicated. First off, if we're going by the canon timeline, she was a week-old kinderguardian thrown into a full-scale war on two fronts while having to kick Rhulk out, transmutate her throne world, manage a whole ass Brood full of other amnesiac baby Lights, and figure out what the hell her past self wanted her to do to stop the Witness. I can also imagine the Lucent Brood was very volatile in their philosophies and way of life, the Light clashing with the Sword Logic, and just overall, it must've been pure chaos, especially for someone who's fresh out of the grave and doesn't know what the fuck is going on.

Secondly, after she's got back her memories -- the old ways is everything she's ever known. I think the case of her snatching the Traveler is a great example. She says she "will not Take, [she] will give", and it's evident she's trying to wrap her head around the new philosophy, to reverse-engineer it from the spaces between the words on the Tablets of Ruin, but she's still oh so very Hive in it. She will give the Traveler an incentive, a safe haven -- and then she will seal it away to protect it. Disregarding anyone else and any other harm this act might entail. I truly believe she had the right intention! She wanted to protect her saviour and the source of her power from the being she hates most in the universe, who seeks only to hurt and destroy the Traveler and threatens Sav's own survival. The plan made sense. It's the execution that was so sword logic in nature, the sealing and the stealing and the general disregard for the Traveler's wishes and choices, and she paid the price in the end. She messed up royally. She was still stuck in the old ways she'd supposedly rejected.

I'm not sure, however, if the lack of outside support would be any factor here. She's always been a loner. Her way of keeping people at a distance is very similar to Mara's, she's always valued the wiggle room moving so far away gives her, she's always wanted to be free and untethered and to decide only for herself. I don't think she cares no one would cry for her if she died; her main goal is NOT to die, and that's the motivation behind most of her actions, rather than the fear of being alone. I think this is where they differ with Xivu. And yes, she is lonely--I see this particularly in her last entry in Sororicide where she says Xivu has given up on her, and in the fact of how thrilled she is to have Eris and Ikora and us the Guardian as puppets in her little theatre. Riddles are her love language and she's enjoying it tremendously.

To sum up, I suppose, these are the reasons I see behind Sav reverting to the sword logic in some extent, or at least not going Full Redemption after acquiring the Light:

her brood (particularly the Lightless Hive) still being ingrained in the Logic and pushing it a lot

Sav believing Sword Logic to be the more efficient tool and therefore still using it to achieve her goals - so both necessity as well as her own calculating personality

her own habits and a billion years' worth of conditioning she's reacquired when she got her memories back

her drive to stay alive and get out of the whole game (whatever we define it as), and potential fear of death

[thefinalboss387]

Roderick Kingsley Appreciation Post!

It's time for me to gush over yet another of my favorite characters ever: Roderick Kingsley, AKA the Hobgoblin! He is a Spider-Man villain that was introduced in 1983 to replace the Green Goblin, who at the time was dead. (And as we all know, everyone stays dead in comic books. Cough.)

As much as I do love Norman Osborn/Green Goblin, the Hobgoblin actually managed to quickly climb the ranks into being my favorite Marvel villain, and one of my favorite characters of all time. He is the ONLY comic book character that I've gone out of my way to collect every individual issue that he appears in, and it's the piece of my physical comic collection that I am the most proud of to be honest.

The character has a bit of a messy history behind the scenes, but I truly believe he came out all the better for it. Beneath the read-more, I'll talk a bit about that complicated history, how I think it benefited the character, the direction that more recent stories have been taking him in, and just why I think he's so great!

The Hobgoblin was created by writer Roger Stern in 1983's The Amazing Spider-Man #238. A thug stumbles across one of Norman Osborn's Green Goblin lairs accidentally as he is running away from Spider-Man. Norman Osborn was thought dead at the time - later comics would reveal he was actually alive (GASP!) and hiding away in Europe - so the thug turned to a man obscured in shadows and sold him the Green Goblin equipment. The shadowy man made his own modifications to the Green Goblin costume, altered the formula that gave the Green Goblin his powers so that it wouldn't have the unfortunate side effect of insanity, and set out to make a name for himself as New York's new supervillain, the Hobgoblin. Oh - probably worth noting that he also coldly kills the thug that sold him the equipment by blowing up his truck. Good ol' Hobby.

The Hobgoblin quickly established himself as an exciting, formidable new A-list Spider-Man villain. Very early on, he was established as a behind-the-scenes manipulator that brainwashed people to wear his costume and stand in as patsies to protect himself from prosecution or harm. In one of his earliest appearances, he brainwashes small-time crook Lefty Donovan to stand in as the Hobgoblin as a way to test and monitor his modified Goblin formula and avoid giving himself any negative side effects -- he has Lefty killed by remote-controlling his glider to smash into a building when the conditioning begins to lift. He sought to become the next Kingpin of Crime, blackmailing anyone he could and seeking out any and all of Norman Osborn's equipment and journals in his various secret lairs.

All the while, the intrigue of the Hobgoblin's true identity continued to build. Just like the Green Goblin in his early days, the Hobgoblin's identity was a juicy mystery. He was frequently shown scheming by himself in his lair, concealed by shadows. A bunch of different comic covers teased that this just might be the issue where he's finally unmasked. A TON of characters were being painted as red herrings with motive and means to be the Hobgoblin. He brainwashed and framed Flash Thompson so that the public and the authorities would believe he was the Hobgoblin -- and of course, the readers knew that Flash was being set up. The Hobgoblin's shadowy secret identity is even shown talking familiarly with Mary Jane Watson in one scene to raise the anticipation even more.

I don't want to say too much more about the Hobgoblin's big identity mystery days, because truthfully that is not why I love the character. I feel like it's hard to discuss the Hobgoblin as a character without also taking about all the behind-the-scenes drama at Marvel. So, long story short, Roger Stern left the book before he was able to reveal the Hobgoblin's identity, the character was written by a few other people that all had their own idea of who the Hobgoblin should be under the mask, tensions were high and writers were openly trying to upset each other.... which led to the Hobgoblin being revealed as Ned Leeds, an investigative reporter and close friend of Peter Parker. Worse still, the Hobgoblin was unmasked as Ned Leeds after Leeds' death in another comic. No big, personal final confrontation with the unmasked Hobgoblin. No hearing from Ned Leeds himself why he was doing this. Hobgoblin was revealed to be a man that was already dead.

Ned Leeds was killed by assassins. It turned out that the assassins were hired by Jason Macendale, AKA Jack O'Lantern, a fellow Halloween-themed Spidey villain that participated in the gang war to be the next Kingpin. Jason was quick to adopt the Hobgoblin identity for himself and stayed in that role for 10 years. He was.... fine? I guess? He took on a much more scary and demonic appearance in the costume than Ned Leeds ever did. He even gets literally possessed by a demon for a bit. At one point he gets cybernetic enhancements and gets this cool robot eye thing. Problem is, he never really got taken seriously, and fell quickly down through the ranks of villain tiers. It didn't help matters that Norman Osborn returned from the dead and took his spot as #1 Goblin villain, rendering the Hobgoblin pretty unnecessary.

But then, in 1997, 10 years after Ned Leeds' reveal as the Hobgoblin, a mini-series called "Hobgoblin Lives" came out, written by original Hobgoblin creator Roger Stern. Now, I was born in 1987 - the same year Ned was killed and revealed. I grew up with the Jason Macendale Hobgoblin. So this miniseries was THE first exposure I ever got to a Hobgoblin that wasn't Jason. Jason is arrested, he reveals to the public that Ned Leeds was the Hobgoblin before he killed him and took his costume (a fact that only a few characters were aware of before), and then a man claiming to be the REAL original Hobgoblin visits him in prison and murders him for being an embarrassment and tarnishing his brand.

Uh, I'm sorry..... what?????

I get that the Hobgoblin mystery was a messy one. I get that the different writers all laid breadcrumbs to different solutions and things got extremely tangled up. I get that the Ned Leeds reveal was disappointing and anticlimactic. But as far as first impressions go, Hobgoblin Lives is damn near PERFECT.

So, basically Roger Stern jumped in to solve the Hobgoblin mystery once and for all -- by revealing him as the character he originally intended him to be way back in 1983, Roderick Kingsley. A shady fashion designer also created by Roger Stern that first appeared in 1980's Spectacular Spider-Man #43, who was known for stealing his competitor's designs and taking credit for their work. Ned Leeds, it turns out, was just another brainwashed patsy that took the fall for Roderick Kingsley, the REAL Hobgoblin. Back in the "Ned Leeds" era of comics, there were scenes where the Hobgoblin and Kingsley were in the same room together, which was explained as Daniel Kingsley, Roderick's meek and submissive brother, posing as him for corporate meetings and whatnot that Roderick didn't want to attend.

So like..... I understand the opinion that Daniel posing as Roderick is kind of cheating the audience that was invested in the mystery and keeping track of all the different clues and red herrings. I understand that the "evil twin" angle is a bit tacky. But speaking as someone whose first glimpse into this identity mystery storyline was its long-overdue conclusion, I honestly kind of LOVE the Daniel twist. Everything given to us in Hobgoblin Lives serves to cement things we already knew about the character. Roderick Kingsley was already known for stealing fashion ideas and performing shady corporate takeovers, so it's kind of perfect that he also stole and made cosmetic changes to the Green Goblin brand? We'd seen the Hobgoblin brainwash patsies multiple times already, so it makes sense that Ned Leeds was just another name on that list. We'd seen the Hobgoblin dress those brainwashed patsies in his costume and use them as stand-ins to protect himself, which is probably an escalation of what he did to Daniel their entire lives - that was where that "man behind the curtain" stuff started for him.

So, ultimately, we were given a much more satisfactory conclusion to the mystery of the Hobgoblin's identity. He wasn't a dead guy anymore - he was a charismatic, manipulative, scheming criminal mastermind (my favorite type of villain!) with a line of mind-controlled fall guys in his wake.

I mentioned earlier that I have all of Roderick Kingsley's individual issues that he appeared in - I did NOT bother to collect Macendale's appearances. I have Ned Leeds' Hobgoblin issues, because he is acting on Kingsley's behalf and it's up in the air when it is Leeds behind the mask and when it is Kingsley. I may eventually start hunting Macendale's issues down just to say I HAVE EVERY HOBGOBLIN APPEARANCE EVER, but my love for the Hobgoblin is NOT love for Jason Macendale. Even as a kid, I found him very underwhelming and lame despite LOOKING really really cool. So the fact that Hobgoblin Lives immediately starts with his death, and the original Hobgoblin saying that Jason disgraced his legacy, was a pretty cool way for 10-year-old me to be introduced to this character.

In his next appearance after Hobgoblin Lives, Roderick Kingsley goes up against Norman Osborn. As I said, Osborn's return kind of rendered the Hobgoblin obsolete. I found this story fun because it starts to show us the difference between the two supervillains as they try to outwit and outmaneuver each other, and it starts a very long-running feud between the two. Kingsley manipulates Osborn into breaking him out of prison and attempting revenge on Daniel, falsely claiming to still have an Osborn journal that reveals he is the Green Goblin. Ultimately, it's clear that Osborn is the superior villain, as he already knows Spider-Man's secret identity, and he manages to steal control of Kingsley's businesses and holdings away from him. Kingsley is shaken by these reveals but decides to retire in the Caribbean with the money he still has left. (I also want to say, in one of his most recent appearances, HE GOT HIS BUSINESSES BACK FROM OSBORN WOOOO)

Since then, Roderick Kingsley has started taking a drastically different approach, which I do believe was needed for his character to help differentiate him from Norman Osborn. Kingsley now travels the world, creating different supervillain aliases (which are all, of course, stolen and repurposed) and rents those brands out to the highest bidder. He is arming and suiting up a small army of D-list supervillains in exchange for a cut of their profits. Again, I feel that this change is perfect, and cements things we already knew about his character. Kingsley was a fashion designer that stole ideas and made them his own brand -- even his Hobgoblin persona is stolen Green Goblin gear. Now, he is taking that to the next level with his stolen supervillain fashions. Mysterion is a blatant copy of Mysterio, Devil-Spider is extremely similar to Tarantula, etc.

When Phil Urich killed Daniel, Roderick's brother in the Hobgoblin costume (because of course it was another patsy), and stole the Hobgoblin identity for himself as Macendale had done before, Kingsley is at first furious that his brand is getting stolen again and fights Urich, but eventually sees the potential in him and allows him to continue being the Hobgoblin for a cut of his profits - until Urich switches sides and starts working for Norman Osborn and kills the Hobgoblin, which is Kingsley's mind-controlled butler as yet another patsy.

Kingsley, both in and out of costume, has always been a very shady-corporate-takeover type of villain, focusing a lot on wealth and power no matter who he inconveniences or kills along the way. This becomes especially apparent in the Axis event, where Hobgoblin is given his own miniseries. Good guys are now evil, bad guys are now good, moralities are switched..... annnnnnnd Kingsley is still an awful person despite being a "good guy". He takes on a motivational speaker type of role, selling superhero franchises and Hobgoblin merchandise to make as much money as he can. (Is it bad that I WANT the Hobgoblin merchandise he was selling??) His Axis miniseries is a VERY fun time, poking a lot of fun at his history and highlighting that the man is still very much a sociopath despite his changed morality. How GREAT is this clip??

Although he's always #2 to Norman Osborn - and that is a constant source of frustration to him - Kingsley is a GREAT villain. He is always scheming, always hiding behind yet another mind-controlled patsy, always ready to profit off of his next stolen idea, and I think the convoluted mess that was his initial mystery arc only helped to cement his legacy as a behind-the-scenes mastermind who is always one step ahead, and always willing to throw other people into harm's way to save his own butt. The Hobgoblin Lives miniseries, and everything that's come since with the character, has only built on what we already knew and loved about him, and pushed him out of Norman Osborn's shadow despite having literally stolen his franchise.

The chaos and drama behind the scenes at Marvel will always be an unfortunate part of this character's history, but I still love him SO MUCH. I think everything in the story that came from it has helped form a formidable, manipulative, cold-hearted villain that will always be one of my favorite characters of all time. More than once now, he has retired to some tropical, beautiful corner of the world, comfortably sipping drinks as some poor fool dies in his place. No matter what happens, no matter how dead he seems to be, you CANNOT convince me that his canon ending will be anything less than that.

[sherlock-is-ace]

get to know me!

I was tagged by my dearest @taste-thewaste thanks for the tag and welcome back cutie!!!! I got so excited to see you in my notes :')

Last song: The song from the animatic I'm making. On repeat, so I can figure out this shit lol (idk if I want to share which song it is just now kjdfhgkdfg)

Last film: Probably Barbie? I don't remember, I haven't watched a movie in so long kjfdhgdfg EDIT: Actually no! I watched Marry My Dead Body after that! dkfjgfdg I just remembered that it has the exact same plot as a story of mine lol

Currently reading: Nothing... I don't read as much as I'd like to (and I suck at finishing books

Currently watching: His Dark Materials at lunch with the fam. Natsume Yujin-Cho at dinner with the fam. And I just finished Queer Eye by myself at night, trying to fins something new to watch tonight.

Currently consuming: Water?

Currently craving: The walnuts I bought to make brownies with for my brother's birthday... Trying real hard not to eat them now lol

Were you named after anyone? Nope, I named myself cause I like the name (it's a bit more complicated than that but that's the idea)

When was the last time you cried? Sometime this week I think, but I can't remember when. It was probably anxiety induced. I did tear up watching Queer Eye tho

Do you have kids? Hell no!

What sports do you play/ have you played? I played volleyball at school

Do you use sarcasm? Not as much as I used to

What’s the first thing people notice about you? My dysphoria inducing hips and ass? My hair that never looks put together? Who's to say?

What’s your eye color? Brown

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings! I don't like scary movies, life is already too scary and there are not enough happy endings

Any talents? I don't think so? I can roll my tongue and also flip it upside down... is that anything?

Where were you born? Argentina (and will sadly, probably die here too)

What are your hobbies? Drawing (tho also my job), writing (more like thinking about writing), watching youtube?

Do you have pets? Yep, my doggy India who I love very much!

How tall are you? 165cm maybe more if I fixed my shrimp-like posture

Favorite subject in school? Art, english (as a second language)

Dream job? Children book illustrator. Perhaps even author-illustrator👀

Tagging: @beartrust42 @aliceat97point3 @tabelschnasse @actual-changeling (feel free to ignore, ofc <3)

[prpfz]

🦇🩸 | 18+ Only! Seeking a fandomless ( oc / oc ) mxm or mxmasc rp! I’m looking for characters who are perverted players, cherry hounds, play boys, guys with commitment issues, assholes or pieces of shit who also have soft spots, other criminal scum, big and bad dudes, cold and gruff guys, experienced fighters who can handle their own, guys who can scare others just with a stern look; I’d love for a dynamic of two guys stuck in a shit world ( dystopians anyone? ) or shit situation who have to rely on each other or find comfort and solace in one another, maybe they’re in the same gang with the same brutal leader who constantly treats them horribly and works them like dogs and in a violent fucked up world, the downtime they get with each other is some of the only things they look forward to, maybe they find comfort with each other underneath the sheets eventually. I’d love to have a tense, drama filled, angsty relationship, with complicated feelings for complicated characters — my guy being just as hesitant and scared for a real relationship as yours but oh so desperate for connection; but otherwise I’m all for post apocalyptic, vampires, manipulation and coercion, omegaverse, monster fuckery, viscous and twisted dystopians especially, and heavy dead dove plots with violent and dark themes ranging from murder, horror, crime, gangs, gorey violence, toxic or abusive relationships, incest, noncon or dubcon, age gaps, 🍪, etc. I have few limits to what I’ll write! The character I’m writing is trans just a forewarning incase that’s not your cup of tea. On that note I’m very much open to trans characters! My guy is no dom top but he’s not a shy, soft, darling type. He’s rough and rugged around the edges. ( Bonus shot in the dark but I’d love to do something inspired by Beastars with a wolf/rabbit dynamic. )

A little about myself: I’m a 21 y/o Transmasc writer. I only write on Discord. I’m CST timezone, but I work the night shift currently, so replies out of rp can be spotty. ( I also do my best not to check my phone at work as well. ) My writing ranges from lazy lit to novella. I need at least 3-4 good paragraphs to be able to work with. They don’t need to be luscious with details, but descriptiveness is much appreciated and preferred. I’ve been writing for around 9 years now, it’s a great passion of mine. I love the escapism of fantasy and made up worlds you can dive into. I don’t do rapid fire replies! And my activity can vary! I will always try to get rp replies in at least once a week though. I can get pretty busy, and rp is a hobby for me right now. ( Trust me if I could do rapid fire, believe me I would, I’d love to write all day long. )

A little about my character: A 4’10” - 5” ft tall street fighter who’s in a gang. Sammy has the body of a rabbit but the heart of a wolf. He’s an insolent, stubborn, younger guy who may be petite but he packs a hard punch and can handle his own to a certain point. His unwavering loyalty and obedience only lies within his gang leader. He might be his pet, but he is in no way tamed. He’s all fire and rage, he absolutely refuses to back down or bite his tongue. He’d find a way to give lip even if his tongue was cut out. All around his familial relationships are shit to say the least. He doesn’t trust easily, he’s paranoid, cold hearted on the outside, and violent. Like a mad dog he’ll snap without warning, his fangs are always bared, and his lips are always curled in a snarl. He’s hooked on cigarettes and booze, and he can’t last without his mood stabilizers. He works at an underground fight club and can be often seen sporting bars, even if he isn’t of age for a plot. The club is a front for the gang. I do often prefer to write Sam in a violent dystopian like setting where crime is rampant, bodies are in the streets, the city’s in chaos, etc. Think the purge almost. Otherwise, he’s just got a rough life on the streets in a gang. ( His age can vary for the plot btw! I primarily write him as 20 default, and 25 the oldest though. 🍪 is fine by me though. )

That’s enough yapping for this post, I can talk more plot in DMs! So if you’ve got some characters that match the energy I’m looking for or any you feel would vibe with my guy give a like and I’ll reply asap! Thank you for reading🫶

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