#completely forgot I had wanted to draw this but I’ve gotten a lot of asks recently and I was like OH YEAH

[shepscapades]

1. edamame — bbno$, Rich Brian

Oh, how the turn tables…

[drabbles-mc]

Closing the Gap

Carmy Berzatto x Luca

Summary: As everyone tries to get things under control for the construction and eventual opening of The Bear, Carmy inadvertently gets sent on a trip down memory lane. A series of flashbacks to a different time, with different people. Or, really, just one different person.

Warnings: 18+, language, light angst, smoking, pining, implied smut

Word Count: 10k

A/N: It's a 10k Carmy/Luca fic and honestly I think that's all there is to say about it 😂

The Bear Taglist: @garbinge @withmyteeth @narcolini @justreblogginfics (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

Carmy was staring down at the box of paperwork that he’d just set on Sugar’s desk in the office. He wasn’t really reading the tabs on the folders in front of him. His mind was running at a mile a minute and it was getting farther and farther away from the office, and The Bear in general, with each passing second.

His heartrate was beginning to speed up inside his chest, his grip on the edges of the box tightening, knuckles turning white. He stared harder at the papers in his eyeline, barely blinking as he began to spiral.

Before he got taken too far away, there was a knock on the doorframe of the office that jolted him back to reality, back to the present instead of the montage of memories that was starting to kick up at the forefront of his mind. Clearing his throat, his eyes went wide for a second before looking over his shoulder to see who was knocking to get his attention.

Marcus was standing in the doorway, holding a book in his hand. He had his beanie and a t-shirt on, no apron yet. Carmy assumed that he must’ve just gotten in. Prying his fingers away from the edges of the box, he turned around so that he could face Marcus completely.

“What’s up, Marcus?” he asked as he perched himself on the edge of the desk, trying to look more put together than he felt.

Marcus held the book up. “Just bringing this back.”

Carmy’s eyes widened slightly as he chuckled. “Done with it already?”

Marcus nodded, a shy smile on his face for a moment before he said, “There’s a lot of really cool stuff in there.” He paused. “You know how to do all this?” He shook the book a bit to emphasize his point.

Carmy shrugged, nonchalant the way he always was whenever he talked about the things he’d done, the things he was good at. “Most of it, yea.”

Marcus chuckled as he shook his head, knowing without even having to ask or comment on it that the man standing across from him was downplaying things to an almost criminal degree. “I’ll settle for getting good at some of it.”

His hands came to rest in his lap, fighting the urge to fidget, the urge to reach for a cigarette. He didn’t even really want one in that moment, but it would’ve given him something to do. Forcing his hands to still, he looked at Marcus. “I’ve got some more at my place. I’ll bring them in for you.”

Marcus nodded, clearly enjoying the thought of that. More books. More inspiration. More ideas. “Thanks, chef.” He stepped farther into the office so that he could hand the book back to Carmy. As he was about to hold the book out to him, recognition flashed across his face, like the finally got the grasp on a memory he’d been trying to recall. “Oh, shit, yea, I almost forgot.” He opened the front cover of the book and pulled out an old, somewhat wrinkled, piece of paper. “This was tucked in one of the pages.”

Carmy’s brows knit together as he reached out to take the paper. His expression eased almost immediately as he looked at it, going from concerned, to puzzled, to amused. His entire body relaxed, posture softening as he looked at the collection of doodles and drawings all over the paper.

“Shit,” Carmy said with a soft chuckle. “Of course he put that in there.”

Now it was Marcus’s turn to look confused. “Who?”

Carmy shook his head slightly, lips still twitching as he fought back a smile. “This, this guy, this kid I was a commis with. We, uh,” he laughed quietly, “we kept ending up in the same spots.” He gestured to the book that was still in Marcus’s hand. “He got that for me. We, we both…yea.”

Marcus gestured to the rumpled piece of paper that Carmy was holding. “He draw those?”

Carmy laughed a little harder at that, almost a real, full laugh. “No, no. I mean…not, not really.” His eyes dropped back down to the page, looking at the smudged ink and eraser marks left behind by both him and Luca. “Most of these are mine. He’d try, then I’d, you know, I’d fix it.”

Marcus chuckled. Of course on top of everything else, Carmy could draw. Sure, he thought silently to himself, why not? Why wouldn’t that also be something else that his boss could do, and do well?

He could see it in Carmy’s face that the book, the drawings, whatever memories were attached to them, were taking him somewhere else. Marcus had no intention of trying to pry. So he cleared his throat, offering the book over to Carmy. “Thanks again.”

Looking up, Carmy nodded as he took the book from Marcus. “No problem.”

He barely even noticed the fact that Marcus was leaving. One the book was in his hands, Carmy immediately cracked it open. It had been one in a stack of many that he’d given to Marcus the week before. The Bear had become a library of sorts with how many books were being swapped out among the chefs there. It was good. All of it was good. But as Carmy flipped through the pages of the pastry book he was holding, for a few precious minutes he was no longer standing in the middle of the construction zone that was The Bear.

**

“I’m Luca, by the way,” he said as he tied the apron strings behind his back.

Carmy pulled his gaze up from the floor, face scrunching for a split second as he got out of his own head and took in what was actually happening in front of him. “What?”

“Luca.” his hands dropped back to his sides as he looked at Carmy, a bare hint of a smile on his face. “My name’s Luca.”

Carmy nodded, finally processing it all as he finished putting on his own apron. “Carmy.”

For the rest of that first day, that was the only thing they said to each other that could even try to pass for conversation. The rest of the day was just calling out shorthand to each other, and calling back to the other chefs in the kitchen when they were supposed to.

The controlled chaos of the kitchen felt new and routine all at the same time. Clear directions. Flawless hand-offs. Yelling and cursing when it seemed unnecessary to anyone who didn’t live and breathe it all like the rest of them did. Coils wound so tight that they had no other option but to snap.

Each day, Luca spoke to him a little more. They’d get there early, doing their prep in the silence of the kitchen before everyone else showed up. Carmy never initiated the conversation, but he never brushed Luca off either. Sometimes he would catch a slight bristle in Luca’s tone. He was never out-right antagonistic, never under-handed the way that his family sometimes was at home right before they tried to tear into him. But sometimes there would just be a slight edge to his voice, frustration that didn’t really feel directed at Carmy even though he was the one on the receiving end of it. It never really crossed Carmy’s mind to try and investigate—he’d learned better than to ask people if they were alright or what their problem was.

“You’re really fuckin’ good at this, you know,” Luca said one morning when it was just the two of them at the prep station.

Carmy hesitated, stopping what he was doing for a moment. The sound of the knife against the cutting board died off in an instant. He tilted his head just slightly, not enough to face Luca head-on, but enough to let him know that he was tuned in now. “What?”

“You’re really good at this,” he repeated. He chuckled and shook his head a bit, impressed and almost like he was in disbelief. “I came into this feelin’ pretty good but now,” his eyebrows lifted for a moment, “now I’m thinking that maybe I got a bit too comfortable.”

Despite the confusion on his face, Carmy still smiled. He gave a tiny nod, not sure what else to do. “Right. Well, um, thanks.”

After that, it felt like every time Carmy turned around, Luca was there. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t suffocating the way that it felt in other restaurants when he had someone breathing down his neck telling him that he was doing something wrong. It felt like Luca was an extension of the same machine that Carmy was. He was there, ready to take the baton for the next part of the never-ending relay that the two of them were in. As time went on, the gap between them never quite closed, but it got more manageable.

Carmy didn’t know if he was overthinking it or not, but he could’ve sworn that he felt a shift in the air around the two of them as the days ticked by. Sometimes he thought that maybe he was just projecting, letting all the years of being home and trying to anticipate everyone’s actions and feelings before they happened bleed into the present where it had no right to be. But other times, he was pretty sure that he was right. Maybe he was a little crazy, but he was almost positive that he was right, that things were changing.

Luca never seemed bothered by it, and there was something about that, that seemed impressive to Carmy. Not that he ever figured out how to say it.

The kitchen hit a small lull after a brutal rush. Letting out a breath Carmy was fairly certain he’d been holding for hours at that point, he made a comment about stepping out for five minutes to smoke a cigarette. He hadn’t thought about how long it’d been since he had one until the chaos lessened and his mind started to wander, his fingers starting to itch for one.

He stepped out back behind the restaurant. The door hadn’t even shut before he was flipping open the top of his pack of cigarettes. He was listening, waiting to hear the clunk of the door closing behind him as he put one between his lips.

When the sound didn’t come, he turned back around, lighter at the ready in his hand but not lit yet. His eyebrows were raised, and he was about to make a snide comment about shutting the door when he saw that it was Luca. The tension in his body eased when he saw the almost sheepish look on Luca’s face as he stepped completely outside, finally letting the door shut.

“Sorry. Just, you know,” he said with a laugh, gesturing over his shoulder in the direction of the kitchen.

Carmy let out a low chuckle as he nodded. “I know.”

He lit his own cigarette before tilting the pack towards Luca, letting the action ask the question for him. There was a brief second of hesitation before Luca reached out and took one cigarette from the pack. Neither of them commented on it.

“Here,” Carmy tossed him the lighter, a smirk curling his lips as he watched Luca fumble to catch it in time. The same man whose hands moved at the speed of light when it was about knives and cutting boards struggled to spark up a lighter.

Luca pulled a drag off the cigarette between his lips and instantly descended into a coughing fit. Carmy chuckled, letting out an easy exhale, smoke streaming out from between his lips as he did. “Do you even smoke?” Luca’s silence spoke volumes and Carmy laughed, a real laugh for the first time in a long time. “Why would you—”

“Only way to get out of there for five minutes,” Luca said, voice strained as he tried to hold back another cough.

Carmy shook his head, leaning and reaching over to take the cigarette away from Luca. “Give me that.” He had a tiny smile on his face still as he snubbed the cigarette out on the ground. He situated himself comfortably back against the wall again, a couple seconds passing before Luca was standing beside him in the same position. “So,” Carmy said, doing his best to initiate conversation the way that Luca always seemed to do so easily, “why are you staying in a place that’s making you pretend to take up smoking?”

Luca chuckled and shook his head. He would’ve been embarrassed if he was the type. “Why are you in a place that made you take it up for real?”

Carmy’s eyebrows shot up for a moment, shock fading into amusement as he took another drag. “Fair.”

Things shifted again after that. Each smoke break that followed that, one where they would both slip out the back and into the alley, felt like some secret that they were the only ones in on. Luca never tried another cigarette, and Carmy was glad for that in a way that he didn’t know how to articulate. They would stand out back, shoulders pressed against the concrete wall behind them. Luca would watch Carmy tap the ashes off the end of his cigarette and Carmy would pretend not to notice him doing it.

“You got plans?” Carmy asked one day as they were both leaving the restaurant.

Luca laughed, shaking his head as he pushed the door open. “Any of us ever have plans?”

The fleeting grin on Carmy’s face was small, shy. “Right.”

Luca’s head tilted slightly, matching Carmy stride for stride as they went down the sidewalk. “Why?”

“Wanna come over?” the words felt like marbles in his mouth and he just hoped that they didn’t sound that way too. “I just. You know, shitty shift.”

Luca grinned. “Just wanna cook for someone who won’t yell at you, yea?”

Carmy let out a sharp exhale through his nose, half a laugh as he felt his cheeks flash hot. “Yea.”

“Sure,” Luca agreed easily.

When they got to Carmy’s apartment, Luca had no problem making himself right at home despite the fact that Carmy had next to nothing filling the space. It wasn’t even like it was a bachelor pad—he just didn’t have furniture.

It didn’t stop Luca from nosing around what little Carmy did have. Carmy tried not to watch him, knowing that there wasn’t really anything that he had to hide per se. But he also couldn’t remember the last time he had someone else in his apartment.

“You draw these?” Luca asked, carefully spreading out the small stack of papers that he saw resting on the edge of Carmy’s counter.

Carmy’s eyes widened at the question. He nodded, instantly trying to busy himself with getting things out of his cupboards to cook with. “Uh, yea. Yea I…yea.”

Luca had a smile on his face as he looked back and forth between Carmy and the drawings, all different dishes. Some of them were ones he recognized from the restaurant, others were thing’s he’d never seen before.

“They’re good.”

“Thanks,” Carmy mumbled as he turned the burner of the stove on.

“Can I ask you something?”

Carmy shrugged, still not looking back over his shoulder at Luca. “Shoot.”

“You draw your tattoos, too?”

He’d never been so glad that Luca couldn’t see the look on his face. “Um, yea. I mean, some of them. Most of them.”

Luca nodded even though Carmy wasn’t looking at him. Subconsciously he reached up, running his hand up along the inside of his bicep. He pushed the sleeve of his t-shirt up, fingers grazing over the tattoo that was inked into his skin there. He wasn’t even looking at his own arm as he turned over the information in his mind, but it was like he could feel it.

Somewhere along the way, that became part of the new routine. After an exceptionally hectic shift, they found themselves eating over the counter in Carmy’s apartment. Luca would nose around. Every now and then if there were blank spaces on sheets of drawing paper, he would put his own doodles there like Carmy wasn’t going to notice. When dinner was done Carmy would laugh, shake his head and start making little shifts, changes to the drawings that Luca started. Both of them would ignore the dishes in the sink and the fact that when Carmy reached over him for the paper and pencil his forearm would rest against Luca’s for all of a few seconds.

“Plans?” Carmy asked one night at the end of their shift.

Luca’s face brightened for a moment at the question. “Yea, actually.”

Carmy’s eyes widened just slightly as he slipped his coat on. “Yea?”

Luca nodded and grabbed his jacket as well. “Tattoo appointment.”

“Right.”

They both walked out the door. “Wanna come?” He saw the hesitation on Carmy’s face. “Won’t take long.”

Carmy sucked in a deep breath as he weighed out the options. “Uh, okay. Yea. Yea, sure.”

They talked on the walk there. Or rather, Luca talked and Carmy listened. He lit up a cigarette on the way. Whether it was because of the nerves or because his hands felt a little too idle, Carmy didn’t know.

“Hey,” the artist greeted Luca with a grin and a handshake that shifted into a quick hug when they entered. The man made a quick introduction to Carmy, who was feeling more and more out of place by the second, before jumping right into business. “So,” he brought Luca over to his work station, “you said that you had an idea?”

“Yea,” Luca nodded, reaching into the pocket of his jeans and pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. Clearly it had been unfolded and refolded numerous times. He handed it over to the artist, whose eyes were instantly darting all over the paper because of all the different drawings crammed onto the paper. He pointed to one that was off towards the side of the paper. “That one.”

Carmy’s eyes looked like they were about to pop clean out of his skull as he watched the entire interaction play out in front of him. “Luca,” he finally forced out, eyes rapidly darting back and forth between the paper, Luca’s face, and the place on Luca’s arm that he was gesturing to, “wh-what, what are you doing?”

“What?” Luca responded easily, like this was all the most normal thing in the world.

“You’re not—are you—?” Carmy couldn’t force out a full sentence.

Luca smiled, that same expression that seemed to come so easily to him. “Yea.”

Carmy had so much that he wanted to say about it, but it was like all of the words piled up and got stuck at the back of his throat. Instead of saying anything, he just nodded. When the smile on Luca’s face got a little wider, it became a little harder to be as nervous about it.

Soon the silence of the shop was cut through by the sound of the tattoo machine. Carmy sat by, watching the artist as he worked. Listening to the man and Luca converse back and forth. Luca didn’t even flinch as the needles etched the ink into his skin, like it took nothing for him to keep his arm still as it vibrated against the outside of his bicep. The artist colored in the heart, carefully doing up the outline and the small flowers at the top and bottom of it. The stark, traditional shading and lines standing out against Luca’s skin as it all got brought to life.

It was over quicker than Carmy thought it was going to be, even though he knew better. Soon enough Luca was slapping cash into the palm of the tattoo artist and they were saying goodbye. Carmy was pretty sure that he said goodbye to the man, but he couldn’t truly remember. It felt like suddenly it was just him and Luca back out on the sidewalk again.

“Not that bad, right?” Luca asked with a small grin.

Carmy looked over at him, not really sure what Luca was referring to in particular. Then he saw the way he was nodding towards his arm. Carmy chuckled and shook his head. “Not bad.” He paused, watching as Luca carefully slipped his arms back into the sleeves of his jacket. “When’d you take that, anyway?”

Luca shrugged. “Couple weeks ago.”

Carmy smiled, the spike in his heartrate for once didn’t feel like an impending anxiety attack as he laughed. “Klepto.”

“You didn’t even notice!” he responded with a laugh.

Carmy was still shaking his head as the two of them started making their way down the sidewalk. Luca was looking around at everything, meanwhile Carmy went back and forth between looking at the sidewalk passing beneath their feet, and looking over at Luca.

Neither of them brought up the tattoo after that. Sometimes Carmy would see it while they were working in the kitchen, when Luca’s sleeve would slide up when he reached for something. It was a fleeting thing, the kitchen not creating the type of environment conducive to longing stares.

Their time together as commis was rapidly approaching an end. Carmy could feel the days ticking by and he felt like he was supposed to be doing something about it but he didn’t know what. Luca would be laughing on their fake smoke breaks, he would be rooting through Carmy’s cabinets at home and ragging on him for the amount of instant ramen he had stashed in there, and Carmy could feel that he was letting opportunities pass him by. He didn’t know how not to let them keeping slipping away from him.

“I’m telling you,” Luca said as he twirled pasta around his fork, “you can come visit anytime.”

Carmy smiled small, unable to make himself look over at Luca. “Yea? Any time? Just, just drop what I’m doing and fly—”

“Across the pond,” Luca finished for him with a laugh. “Yea.”

Carmy shook his head. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good.” He paused. “Where next?”

He let out a sharp exhale. “New York, I think. Probably.”

“Probably?” Luca parroted back with a chuckle. “Might wanna firm up those plans a bit.”

Carmy turned and looked at him a little more head-on. “Yea, no, I mean, I’m, I’m locked in. For sure.”

“Second-guessing?” Luca asked, the humor gone from his voice and genuine interest in its place instead.

“Ah, um,” Carmy stammered as he tapped his fork against the edge of the bowl, “I guess?”

“Why’s that?”

Carmy paused, really considering what he wanted his answer to that question to be. “I, I do it with everything, I guess.”

Luca waited until Carmy was looking at him. “Everything?”

Carmy’s heart was beating fast enough to the point he just thought it was going to stop altogether. “Pretty much,” he forced out, voice quieter than it needed to be.

There was hardly any space between them, and Carmy had never been more aware of his proximity to another person before. The air was heavy with tension, and opportunities, and Carmy felt like it was all about one breath away from suffocating him completely. He thought that his hands were going to start shaking, enough to make the bowl fall from his hands and clatter against the floor. That was just what he needed.

“Carm?”

He wanted to look away but he couldn’t. Luca was looking at him in a way that made Carmy feel like his knees were going to give way underneath him. He was too used to having people looking through him that having someone looking at him was tough to stomach without crumpling. He opened his mouth, tried to say, “Yea?” but he couldn’t get the word out and his jaw slowly closed again instead.

Then Luca smiled and suddenly the intensity of it all seemed a little more bearable. Then Luca kissed him, movements more assured than Carmy had ever been in his life, could ever hope to be, and suddenly the suffocating feeling of it all was gone. There was no ceramic shattering on the floor, he didn’t flatline, the world didn’t crumble around them. It was good. And Carmy tried his best to just let it be good.

Carmy’s hand slid up Luca’s arm, fingers reaching underneath his sleeve just enough so that he was able to graze over the tattoo there with his fingertips. He grabbed onto Luca’s arm a little tighter, tried to pull him a little closer. The first thing he’d done in a long time that he didn’t hesitate on. Then Luca’s hand was on his shoulder, sliding up to rest against the side of Carmy’s neck, and then the rest of the world just faded into the background.

Carmy had no idea how a goodbye could hurt so much and simultaneously feel so anticlimactic. There was no getting out of it though. Luca was leaving, and Carmy wasn’t. Or, he was, but it didn’t matter because he wasn’t leaving to go to the same place that Luca was.

He sat in his apartment, the space feeling emptier now than it ever had before even though nothing had been taken out of it. He braced himself against the kitchen counter, fingers wrapped tightly around the edge of it. His eyes zeroed in on the book sitting on top of the counter. Luca had given it to him at the end of their last shift together. Leaving it with an easy, “Light reading for when you start to miss me too much,” that made Carmy laugh in the moment but the weight of it felt a little different now.

He drummed his fingers on the cover of the book. He could tell that it was brand new, the outer sleeve still glossy. The entire book, the whole hundred-plus pages of it, were all different pastries and desserts. Of course. Despite the heaviness hovering over his chest, there was a small smile on Carmy’s face as he delicately opened the front cover of it, like it was made of glass not paper.

Tucked inside the front cover was a note scribbled onto an index card. Carmy instantly recognized Luca’s handwriting. “Better learn one of these before you come visit. -Luca” His smile grew a little wider, a choked laugh getting stuck in the back of his throat as he looked at the small drawing scrawled at the bottom of the index card. Shaking his head, Carmy took the card out and tacked it onto his fridge.

It'd been months since Luca had left, months since Carmy started at his placement in New York. Every day of it had been hell. But he couldn’t stop himself from showing up every morning ready to go through it all over again. He was popping tums like they were candy and he was surprised that his hair wasn’t falling out in clumps, but he was getting through it. Despite the hellishness of it all, Carmy felt like he was doing well. Felt like he was doing things right.

Then one day it just didn’t feel that way anymore. He couldn’t pinpoint it. Maybe it was just too many hours with an asshole executive chef breathing down his neck. Maybe it wasn’t enough sleep, wasn’t enough real food that didn’t come out of the microwave or the freezer. Maybe it was too many cigarettes and not enough water. But suddenly he was out back behind the restaurant in New York hyperventilating and feeling like he was about to pass out. His hands were shaking and then he was dialing Luca’s number, something that he hadn’t done since he left.

“You know there’s a time difference, yea?” Luca said, clearly exhausted and groggy as he chuckled on the other end of the line.

“Hey,” Carmy managed to put all of his strength into getting that one word out. His voice made him seem like a completely different person. Maybe he was.

He could hear the rustling on Luca’s end, briefly wondered what he was doing or setting aside to be able to talk. It was easier for Carmy to think about that than everything else. “You alright?”

Carmy cleared his throat, but it didn’t really help at all. “You meant it, right?” He raked his fingers back through his hair. “Fuck. Fuck. You, did you mean it when you said I could visit anytime?”

Luca’s voice was smooth and steady, warm in the way Carmy had remembered it. “Course man, yea. Absolutely.”

“Okay.”

There was a pause, like Luca was waiting for Carmy to say more and then he didn’t. “Okay.”

“Th-thank you,” Carmy stammered out. “And. And I’m sorry.”

Luca didn’t acknowledge any of it, not wanting Carmy to think that he owed an apology, or that he owed any extra gratitude for what just transpired between them. “I’ll see you soon then, yea?”

Carmy exhaled deeply, intensely enough for Luca to hear it on the other end half a world away. “Yea.”

It seemed like time hadn’t even touched Luca when Carmy saw him again. He was standing outside the airport, looking around like he hadn’t been living there and already taking it all in for months. Luca heard the sound of a suitcase rolling on the cobblestones, the way it was getting closer. Looking over, he beamed when he saw Carmy.

He held out both his arms. “Welcome to Copenhagen.”

Carmy laughed, those three words eradicating the worry that things were going to be off between them. It was one of the only things that he could think of the whole flight over. But of course it was alright. It was Luca.

“C’mon,” Luca joked as he gestured for Carmy to follow him, “I’ll be your tour guide.”

Carmy didn’t do much talking as the two of them walked to wherever Luca was deciding to take him. He was glad for it. He listened as Luca talked about some of the places that they passed, some of the things he’d been up to in his time there. Carmy would’ve listened to him for hours if he could. He missed it, missed him. He should’ve called.

“Oh,” Luca turned and looked at Carmy as they walked, “I did get a place for you to stay. Marie has some rules but it’s a pretty cool spot.”

“Yea?” Carmy allowed himself a little hopefulness. Something about being on the other side of the world from the rest of the chaos making it seem more doable.

Luca nodded. “Yea. Honestly I might be crashing in on you while you’re there.”

Carmy smiled small and warm at the thought of it. “Alright.”

Of all the things Carmy had been expecting, he certainly hadn’t been expecting Luca to bring him to a boat. His eyebrows lifted, a surprised smile on his face as he look back and forth between Luca and the boat. He had questions but as he looked at the giddy smile on Luca's face he decided that none of them really mattered.

“Pretty cool, yea?” Luca said as he held his hand out to help pull Carmy on-board.

Carmy laughed as he accepted the help, nodding as he balanced his luggage and his footsteps getting on. “Yea, pretty cool.”

It took an extra couple of seconds for Carmy to realize that his hand was still gripping onto Luca's. When he brought his gaze up to Luca's face, he realized that Luca was focused intently on his hand. For a fleeting moment Carmy thought the worst, but then he realized that Luca was studying the ink on Carmy's skin. A tattoo that hadn’t been there before when they were in Chicago together. Carmy had gotten plenty of other tattoos since, Luca too, but he was acutely aware of why Luca was fixated on that one in particular.

Pulling his hand away, Carmy tried to cover his nerves by clearing his throat. “You said she left instructions or something?”

Luca didn’t seem fazed by the shift in conversation. “Right, yea, c’mon.” He motioned for Carmy to follow him inside. He ducked to fit underneath the top of the door frame, but not quite low enough and he thumped his head as a result. He muttered out a quiet, “Shit,” before laughing.

Carmy laughed too, shaking his head as he went through the door with no issues. He slipped past Luca, who was reading the note that was left on the table for him.

He was looking for a decent place to set his bags for the time being when he heard Luca ask, “You alright with cats?”

“Cats?” Carmy parroted back.

“Yea,” Luca stepped over to where Carmy was standing by the bed. The small space they were in making him feel much closer than usual. He showed Carmy the paper. “Said you gotta leave water out for the cat.”

Carmy shrugged. “I can do that.” He watched as Luca set the note down. Then it was just the two of them standing in the silence of the boat, and Carmy knew that now was the time to say something. “Thank you, again. Seriously.”

Luca shook his head slightly. “Don’t thank me.” He paused. “You alright?”

Carmy didn’t know how to answer that question. Right then, in that moment, he was as alright as he could ever remember being. But he knew it wasn’t a feeling that was going to last. Eventually he’d have to go back. And then what? He was going to be left in the same situation he’d been in when he called Luca. Not alright at all.

“I am now,” he answered honestly.

Luca gave a slow nod, able to hear what Carmy wasn’t saying. “You wanna talk about it?” He gave it a beat. “About New York?”

With no hesitation Carmy shook his head. “No. Not, not right now.”

Luca nodded. “Sure.”

Silence filled the space between them again, and Luca could see it in Carmy’s posture, in the way that his hands were fidgeting with nothing, that he was trying to figure out if he’d said the wrong thing or not. It was so strange to Luca, the fact that that was a constant concern on his mind, because as far as he was concerned, there wasn’t a single thing that Carmy could say to him in their moments together that would ever constitute as wrong.

He broke the ice again, happy to do it as many times as necessary. “I can promise you that there’s nothing in the fridge or the cupboards. So,” he shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest, “we can take care of that if you’re not too beat.”

Carmy nodded eagerly. Food. Groceries. Those were things he could handle talking about. Those were topics that he wouldn’t fuck up. “Yea, I’m good for that.”

Luca smiled. “Great.”

It was as easy as Carmy ever remembered it being with Luca. Maybe even easier, with the worst of his stressors an ocean away from him for now. Luca led the way through markets and shops and Carmy was more than happy just to follow, to listen to what Luca had to say about all of them. Most of the things they bought were groceries, but every now and then Luca would take him on a detour, popping into a bakery or strolling up to a stand and buying something small to eat as they wandered. He justified it as giving Carmy inspiration, expanding his palette, not that that was a large concern for him anyway. But really it was just nice to be able to share this part of his life.

“Good, yea?” Luca asked as he watched Carmy take a bite of the pastry he’d just handed over to him.

Carmy’s brows knit together for a moment, his expression serious as he really turned over each flavor. “Whoa,” he said, food still tucked in his cheek, “that’s fire.”

Luca’s face brightened as he laughed. “Right?” The two of them continued on their way, bags hanging in the crooks of each of their arms. “Been missing out.”

Carmy chuckled, watching Luca as he confidently guided them back towards the boat. “Yea, apparently.”

They worked in tandem to find homes for all of the groceries they’d brought back. Carmy laughed every time Luca had to duck his head to get underneath something. Tried and failed to stifle that same laughter the times that he forgot and ended up bumping his head against the low ceilings and doorframes of the boat.

When they were together in Carmy’s apartment, Carmy did most of the cooking. Luca would pitch in here and there, but it was Carmy’s domain for the most part. This time around, in what little space they had to cook on the boat, the two of them were doing everything together. Once again, they were part of the same machine, but this time it flowed so nicely—no screaming, no stress. They just flowed their way through it and at the end of it all they had a meal.

“So,” Carmy said as they sat at the tiny table together, “is your boat down the street? Or are these just for tourists?”

Luca laughed, shaking his head. “Tourists only, yea.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “My flat’s alright. More furniture than yours had.”

Carmy almost choked on his food. “Oh yea?”

Luca laughed and nodded. “Yea.” His shoulders shook with refrained laughter. “Not like this, though.”

Carmy studied Luca’s face, watched the way he was focused on the plate as he gathered another forkful of food. “You asking to stay over?”

Luca’s eyes diverted back up to him, a smile curling the ends of his lips. “Only if you’re saying yes.”

Carmy’s entire face flashed hot and he was smiling before he knew what he was doing. “Yes.”

His grin grew a little wider. He nodded, but didn’t say anything else about it as the two of them went back to finishing their meal. Carmy’s heart felt like it was beating clean into his throat but he didn’t mind it. He forgot what that was like.

“Nah, I, I got it,” he said as he waved Luca off when they were done, stopping the man from getting up from the table. “You’re just gonna smack your head off something again.”

Luca chuckled but he didn’t fight him on it, letting Carmy gather up their plates and silverware and bring it to the sink to start washing them. For a couple minutes Luca just sat back and watched Carmy, the way he still did everything with the same meticulous precision he did in the restaurant, but now there wasn’t that same tension in his shoulders like there had been before. He drummed his fingers lightly on the tabletop for a moment before getting up to go and help. He saw Carmy turn, about to try and send him off again, but he didn’t give him a chance as he grabbed a towel and started to dry the dishes he’d set in the drying rack.

“Thank you,” Carmy said, sounding more amused than he wanted to.

Luca smiled, nodded, but didn’t turn to look at him, didn’t say anything in response. The two of them comfortably silent as they continued to wash, dry, and put away the few dishes that they’d used to cook and eat with. Carmy was extremely aware of the contact each time their hands touched, fingers brushing on the hand-off. He was equally aware of the fact that Luca didn’t seem shaken about it like he was. One day he’d feel that kind of comfortable confidence.

“Luca?” Carmy said, drying his hands off when they were done.

“Yea?” he tilted his head slightly, not completely facing him yet as he dried off his own hands and set the towel to the side.

The three seconds between Luca saying that and looking at him felt like some of the longest of Carmy’s life. A long time to wait trying to make one day happen now.

Luca finally turned and looked at him, the look on his face clearly showing that he was about to say something, maybe even ask if Carmy was alright. Carmy didn’t give him the chance to get the question out. He wouldn’t have been able to answer it anyway. Instead, he leaned in, bringing his lips to Luca’s. Even with everything that happened, there was still a split second when Carmy worried that he was going to pull away. But he didn’t. Of course he didn’t. He didn’t pull away, and Carmy leaned in more and brought his hand to the side of Luca’s face.

He leaned down, melting right into Carmy, relaxing into it like it was the most natural thing in the world. Carmy almost didn’t know what to do with that. It felt like each part of his body was moving independently from the others, brain detached from all of it. But suddenly his other hand was on Luca’s side and he was pulling him back, the few strides there were between the kitchen and the bed.

The moment was broken only by the muffled thumping sound of Luca’s head hitting the ceiling as they stepped from one area of the boat to the next. It caused both of them to laugh, breaking the kiss.

“Shit.”

“Fuck.”

They both swore quietly at the same time. Carmy was shaking his head, cheeks feeling like they were on fire even though it wasn’t really his fault. “You good?”

Luca chuckled, nodding. “Yea, it’s alright.”

The moment smoothed itself over. Soon enough Luca’s lips were right back on his again. Carmy didn’t know how he managed to make something so pivotal feel so low-stakes. Something that would’ve had him paralyzed with fear if it was anyone else felt so traversable now.

When Carmy woke up, it was to the sound of Luca shuffling around the boat in the small hours of the morning. He was hunched over, gathering his clothes off the floor. Carmy’s eyes were barely open at all, still heavy with sleep. His brain was working at half-speed trying to figure out what was going on.

“All good?” Carmy mumbled, propping himself up on one elbow.

The humor in Luca’s tone was impossible to miss, getting more enjoyment than maybe he should have at how exhausted Carmy sounded. “Yea. Work.”

“Shit,” Carmy said, pressing the heel of his palm against his eye. “Right.”

“Go to sleep,” Luca told him, pulling his t-shirt down over his head. “I’ll be back later.”

Carmy was too tired to argue, jetlag catching up to him something fierce along with all of the exhaustion he’d been trying not to feel over the last few months. It felt safe to feel it all now, let it take him out for a few more hours.

Luca did come back, just like he said he would. He returned to the boat with a backpack stuffed full of clothes and other miscellaneous things. Carmy felt like an idiot for how wide his smile grew at the realization of it when Luca set it with Carmy’s suitcase.

That was their life for the next few days. Cozy nights fumbling around the close quarters of the boat, cooking meals that they each knew they wouldn’t be making for themselves if they were alone. They took turns doing dishes. Luca would leave early in the morning, Carmy usually only waking up just long enough to see him go before falling back to sleep again. And when he’d wake back up again, with most of the day to himself, he’d go out. He’d find restaurants. He’d go wander in places that he never would’ve taken the time to under any other circumstances. Let himself be a tourist and he’d send Luca photo evidence of it even though he couldn’t really respond.

Luca got back to the boat one night and Carmy was already elbow-deep in making something that Luca had no idea about. He loomed over Carmy’s shoulder, looking back and forth between what Carmy was doing, and the book that was open and precariously perched just out of the danger-zone.

“What’s all this?” he finally asked.

Carmy spared a quick glance over his shoulder. “You, uh,” he laughed, feeling a little ridiculous about it, “you said I had to learn one of these before I came to visit.”

Luca gave him a warm smile as he tried to take a closer look at the recipe that Carmy was working from. “Did you?”

“I mean, I don’t have it memorized, but, you know, yea. I learned it.”

“Too busy to memorize it?” Luca joked.

Carmy laughed, eyes widening for a moment. “Yea. You know, can’t remember what I was so busy doing. No priorities, apparently.”

“None, yea,” Luca agreed with a grin.

Truth be told, Luca never would’ve been able to tell if Carmy had ever made a dish before or not. Everything he ever saw Carmy attempt to make always came out great, like he’d made it a thousand times in his sleep before. It was beyond his comprehension.

“Glad I gave you that,” Luca said with a smug smirk pulling at the end of his lips, half-eaten pastry in his hand.

Carmy shook his head but he smiled too. “I’m sure.” He took a bite of the one he’d been holding onto. “You should check it out.”

Luca nodded. “Sure.”

Carmy’s voice got softer as he said, “Good.”

He could see it on Carmy’s face that his mind was wandering, going too far beyond the reaches of the boat they were in for it to be anything good. “Hey.” He waited for Carmy to look at him again, both their expressions shifting slightly. Luca lightly knocked his knee against Carmy’s. “It’s all good.”

He blinked, nodding, processing the comforting shorthand. “Yea. Yea. It’s all good.” He paused, shoulders relaxing. “Thank you.”

Luca smiled, an easy comforting thing. He watched Carmy finish off the pastry that he was eating. He could see the thousand tiny little shifts in his expression, and Luca had to laugh. “What?”

Carmy looked confused, almost startled at the question. “What? I didn’t, I didn’t say anything.”

“What are you gonna do different next time?” he asked, lifting the pastry in his hand a little higher. He saw the way that Carmy was about to try and come up with a rebuttal and he didn’t let him. “I can see it on your face, Caz.” He couldn’t stop laughing. “What is it?”

Carmy rolled his eyes, tried to keep a serious expression on but he broke down into laughter too, knowing that there was no way he was going to be able to lie to Luca. “I don’t know how to explain it. Something’s just…you really don’t know what I’m talking about?”

“Not a clue,” Luca admitted with a laugh, unashamed as could be.

“You think I’m nuts.” It was a statement, not a question as Carmy stared at him.

“Oh, well, yea,” Luca said, face bright with humor. “’Course I do.”

Carmy broke down in laughter. “Fuck off.”

They were both lost to fits of laughter after that, sitting next to each other at the small round table. Luca watched as Carmy poured over the recipe again, like if he reread the words over one more time he would be able to pinpoint what it was about it that he didn’t like.

“Carm?” Luca piped up, knowing that Carmy had no concept of time, no idea how long he’d been staring at the same page in the recipe book.

“Yea?” Carmy replied, not looking up from the page.

Luca chuckled, reaching over and shutting the book on him. “Try again tomorrow. Not gonna fix it all today.”

Carmy huffed, but smiled as he leaned back in his chair. “Right. Yea.”

It was late. Later than it should’ve been considering Luca’s alarm would be going off in a few hours. He was on the bed beside Carmy, laying on his side with his head perched in his hand, arm bent keeping him propped up enough to look at Carmy’s face as Carmy laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling. He studied the little details of Carmy’s face, things that he didn’t get to see in other moments, things no one else ever got to see. The light sheen of sweat across his forehead, the flush of his cheeks, the way only a few locks of his hair stuck were unruly enough to fall in front of or on the sides of his face. He watched the rise and fall of Carmy’s chest, drastic but faster than it usually was as he tried to catch his breath.

For a moment Luca didn’t even think that Carmy was paying attention to him at all, thought that maybe he was lost in his own thoughts or maybe even for once wasn’t thinking any thoughts at all. But then Carmy’s eyes wandered, matching Luca’s gaze. His lips curved upwards into a small smile as he looked over at Luca.

“What?” Carmy asked, laughing quietly.

Luca shook his head, watching as Carmy tucked one hand behind his head. “Can I ask you something?”

That was the kind of question that would usually be enough to send a jolt of fear clean down Carmy’s spine. But it didn’t this time, like nothing could touch them here. “Yea. Always.”

With the hand that wasn’t keeping his head propped up, Luca reached over and gently took Carmy’s free hand in his own. Carmy watched with bated breath as Luca turned his hand over, fingers grazing deftly over his skin.

“When,” Luca started to ask, fingertips lightly tapping the flower that was inked into the side of Carmy’s hand, one that looked very similar to the ones that were around the heart on Luca’s arm, “did you get this one?”

Carmy couldn’t take his eyes of his hand, off of Luca’s hand that was still toying with his own. His face felt like it was on fire. He knew that Luca was only asking the question because he already had an idea as to what the answer was.

“That one?” Carmy stalled, eyes still locked on their hands. “I got that one, uh, I got it, you know, right before I went to New York.”

“Yea?”

“Yea.”

“Goodbye present from Chicago?”

Carmy chuckled. “Say that like I was never gonna go back.”

Luca shrugged. “You know what I mean.”

Carmy’s face softened. “I know what you mean.”

“Just wondering, ‘cause, you know,” he met Carmy’s eyeline, “looks a little familiar, is all.”

Carmy laughed. “Does it? Does it look familiar?”

“If you wanted to copy mine, you should’ve just—”

“Copy yours?” Carmy asked, laughing like it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard Luca say. “You stole my drawing and got it—”

“And then you copied it.”

They were both laughing, fingers still entwined. Carmy gave in, losing the argument feeling better than winning any other one ever had. “Guess it made me feel a little better.”

Luca nodded, bringing their joined hands up to his lips, the kiss so light and fleeting that Carmy would’ve chalked it up to a daydream if he didn’t know any better. “Me too.”

When Luca’s alarm went off in the morning, it woke Carmy up first for once. Opening one eye, he looked over to see Luca still passed out in the bed beside him. He let out a quiet, sleepy chuckle as he reached resting his hand against the center of Luca’s chest.

“Hey,” Carmy mumbled, the side of his face still resting in the crook of Luca’s shoulder. “C’mon.” He drummed his fingers. “You gotta go.”

Luca’s eyes weren’t even open as he wrapped his arm around Carmy, pulling him tighter against his side for a moment. “Yea. I’m going.”

Carmy would’ve stayed like that all day long if there weren’t any consequences to it. “I see that, yea.” Carmy could’ve sworn that it caused him real, physical pain to unfurl himself from Luca’s hold. “Go, Chef. Get ready.”

Luca groaned but he started to force himself to be fully conscious. “Heard.”

Carmy was only half awake, laying on his stomach with his arms tucked underneath his pillow as he watched Luca haphazardly get ready for the day. It was going to be a long one and Carmy felt a little bad, but not bad enough to apologize.

“I’ll see you,” Luca said as he pulled his shoes on.

Carmy nodded, already about to fall back to sleep. “I’ll be here.”

Carmy went out again, took himself on a small-scale grocery trip. Went out just long enough to get a few specific things that he had in mind. When he got back, he was surprised to find that Luca had gotten back in the time that he was gone. He must’ve started his day much later than he thought.

When he walked through the door, he saw Luca sitting at the table looking through the pastry book. Carmy chuckled. “Hey.”

“You know,” Luca started, still looking at the pages in front of him, “I don’t think there’s a cat.”

Carmy let out a confused laugh as he unpacked the bag of groceries he was carrying. “What?”

Luca looked over at him. “You ever see Coco?”

Carmy paused, thinking about it for a moment before finally shaking his head. “Never.”

“Yea,” he turned the page, “I don’t think she’s real.”

“Or she’s invisible.”

“Oh, yea,” Luca nodded, laughing, “that makes more sense.”

Carmy had stopped keeping track of how many days he’d spent in Copenhagen. If he started to count, reality would start to set in and if that happened the delicate bubble that was keeping he and Luca safe would inevitably pop. Luca hadn’t brought up New York, hadn’t brought up any of it. And Carmy was wondering if he was just as afraid for it all to crumble away. Or maybe Luca was just letting this be what his life was now. Carmy wished that he could do the same.

There was Luca. And there was the boat. And there were quiet nights and a cat that was nowhere to be found. But there was also Noma and ridiculous hours and minds racing with the thoughts of ingredients and recipes. There was a balance that was so carefully struck but Carmy knew that he wasn’t going to be able to maintain it forever—he wasn’t Luca. He also knew that it was all temporary. Noma wasn’t forever. Copenhagen wasn’t forever. He didn’t want to keep going on that train of thought, knowing where the final destination of it was.

It was easy to let himself stave off the thoughts most of the time. He’d get halfway down a spiral and then Luca would say something to get his attention, or his arm would sling over Carmy’s side in his sleep, and it was like a reset. Turning the timer back again. But eventually it was going to have to go off.

Carmy was packing up what precious little he’d brought with him to Copenhagen in the first place. Luca sat on the edge of the bed watching, neither of them really saying much about any of it. What was there to say?

He was getting ready to pull the zipper on his suitcase when Luca held the book out to him, the same one he’d given Carmy when he was leaving Chicago. Carmy shook his head. “Keep it. Your turn to learn something from it.” He knew that more than once over the last few weeks Luca had brought it to work with him. Neither of them ever said anything about it.

Luca’s smile was small as he shook his head, continuing to hold the book out to Carmy. “It’s yours.” When Carmy still wouldn’t take it from him, he tossed it into his suitcase for him. “Perfect that recipe before you come back next time.”

Carmy chuckled but there was a heaviness to it as he nodded. “Right. Right. Next time.”

“Don’t gotta wait till you have another breakdown, by the way.”

Carmy laughed, looking over at Luca. “Might be the fastest way to get me back here.”

Luca nodded, a tiny grin on his face. “Might be.”

For the first time in a long time there was a weight to the silence that was between them. Carmy found himself wanting to say thank you, wanting to apologize, all the stuff that Luca never asked him for. He didn’t know what else there was to say. He felt like they didn’t really have to say the rest of it.

“I’m, um, I’m glad I called you,” Carmy finally said.

“Me too.”

“I won’t wait so long next time.” He wanted it to be true. He hoped that it was.

Luca smiled. “Good.”

Carmy was smiling but he could feel the familiar burn of tears wanting to form. He shook his head slightly, gaze dropping when he couldn’t hold Luca’s stare anymore without feeling like he was going to break. “Fuck,” he muttered, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. “Shit. I’m,” he shook his head, looking up at the ceiling before looking back at Luca again, “I’m sorry.”

Luca shook his head. “It’s alright.” Getting up, he made sure to keep his head low enough to not smack it off the ceiling. He’d nearly perfected that. He pulled Carmy in, repeating the words when he felt the way Carmy sagged against him. “It’s alright.”

**

Carmy was yanked back to the present, back to reality by the sound of something crashing in the next room over. His fingers curled tighter around the book in his hands, like if he held onto it tight enough he’d get sent right back into the past again.

He could hear the yelling on the other side of the wall. The words being said didn’t reach his ears. They didn’t need to—it wouldn’t matter if they did. He looked back down at the book in front of him, eyes roaming over the pages. He still remembered the recipe. He still never figured out what it had been missing.

Syd materialized in the doorway of the office, looking as exasperated as she ever had. “Got a question, Chef.”

Carmy had to try harder than he cared to admit to look up from the pages in front of him. “I was thinking about Marcus.”

Syd blinked once, shaking her head slightly at the change in subject when they hadn’t gotten fully started on the thing that she had popped in to talk about in the first place. “Okay?”

“Yea.” Carmy nodded, closing the book and drumming his fingers against the cover. “Yea.”

Syd’s eyes widened, waiting for an explanation that never came. “What were you thinking about Marcus?”

“We should send him somewhere. Get him, you know, get him inspired.”

Syd shrugged, nodding. “We could do that. Got any ideas?”

“A few,” he replied with no hesitation. “Yea, I got a couple.” He paused, thinking about the paper covered in drawings, about the book with the impossible recipe, about the number in his phone that he hadn’t dialed in far too long. “I was thinking maybe Copenhagen?”

Syd smiled at that. “Shit, yea. That’d, that’d be dope.” She thought on it for a moment. “You know someone, I’m assuming?”

Carmy chuckled, nodding. “Yea. I know someone.”

Syd nodded. “Let’s do it.”

Relief and excitement both rushed through Carmy all at once. “Heard.” Clearing his throat, he called out, yelling above the rest of the noise, “Yo! Marcus!”

Within seconds Marcus appeared back in the doorway of the office. “Yes, Chef?”

“We’re sending you to Copenhagen,” Carmy said with a definitive nod.

Marcus’s eyes went wide. He looked back and forth between Carmy and Syd like he was waiting for this to be the punchline of a joke. “For real?”

Carmy nodded. “For real.”

His entire face lit up. “Alright. Heard, Chef.”

The smile on Carmy’s face was soft as he nodded once more. “Alright.”

[pagegirlintraining]

Heyyy,

3, 5,6,7,12,17,18,27,28,29 and 30 for the ao3 wrapped ask game 💜 (i know i picked a lot of numbers so feel free to choose which ones to answer)

Hey :)

I love that you picked lots of numbers, you‘re basically giving me the privilege of picking my own favorites😁 I‘ll stick to five of them for now:

12. How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

There are 5 that I‘ve already worked on to various, widely differing degrees, plus 1 that I‘ve been planning on and off for months but haven’t actually written anything down for yet. Guess you could say it’s a 5+1 situation 😂

17. Your favorite character to write this year

I‘ll always love writing Wille‘s inner monologues because they come so naturally to me. All I have to do is just dial up my own inner monologue by one or two levels. But also Sara for the exact opposite reason (see number 18).

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year

Sara. I‘ve had a hard time understanding some of her decisions in both seasons, and I think it’s because contrary to her, I‘m a huge people pleaser. That’s not to say that Sara doesn’t want people to like her. Her actions just don’t exactly express that a lot of the time. It doesn’t seem to be a major motivation behind them. So it’s definitely a challenge writing a character and their decisions when I can’t draw from my own main motivation to understand why they do what they do. But that’s what makes it so rewarding when I do find that line that feels exactly “Sara”.

27. What do you listen to while writing?

It varies a lot. If it’s a description heavy scene, I can’t listen to music at all. because it’s too distracting. For dialogue heavy parts I’ll put on my summer (all year really) playlist. It’s familiar and helps keep my thoughts light and “flowy”, especially during emotionally charged scenes. When I write a dance scene I’ll loop the song literally the entire. time. And finally, I’ve recently figured out that 80s love ballads work really well for writing intimacy. Or at least they do for me :D it gives me the courage to be just a little cheesy, which, let’s be honest, is just a part of being in love.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year

It’s impossible to choose one without feeling like I’ve probably forgotten about an even better one 😅 I’ve attempted to narrow it down to two, although I’ll probably wake up in the middle of the night now going “Nooo why didn’t I say this one?”

For contender number one we have this line from Copy and Pasta:

“I, uh— I forgot to say the nude part, didn’t I?”

Contender number two is a longer passage from The Time Of My Life:

“I know, Wille,” he told him through a sigh of his own. “I know this is stupid and completely reckless. But I’ve tried this entire time to stop thinking about you, and still here I am.”

“Here you are,” Wille repeated, the movement of his lips a soft tickle against the tip of Simon’s finger. And although there were probably a hundred more important things to say, the only thing that felt right to Simon in this moment was, “Dance with me.”

Well, this has gotten quite long. Thanks so much for giving me the chance to talk about all of these things ���💜💜

[love-advice-on-call]

Hello I have a question about something that I kind of regret doing or i don’t know. My boyfriend and I have just celebrated our one year anniversary; he had an ex before me, as a lot of people do nowadays, and it seems as though he’s gotten over here; I mean he doesn’t have any of her gift, he doesn’t have her added on any social media and just general never speaks about her nor does he have any mutual friends with her. I checked his phone because, aside from this issue, he would like girls pics but like he would like friend’s pictures and that’s fine I’m not real worried about it but he would like pictures of girls he didn’t even know and I brought it up to him and he stopped doing that. So you know I just wanted to check if he did it still and I went on his Instagram, and everything was fine, I didn’t find anything bad, however I checked his archives and i saw that on old publications you could see the things his ex commented, and well I’m not real proud of it, but i deleted those comments. Did I do wrong ? I’m not sure it’s the first real boyfriend I’ve ever had in my life. I’m not really sure how to deal with my jealous emotions, it’s definitely not an excuse but I don’t know I don’t feel particularly well about doing it. What do you think?

I think most people on the planet have ex's regardless of the times, but go off. I think it sounds like you're obsessing pretty hard. Like his ex had a comment on an archived post and you deleted it. He probably completely forgot about that post. Not to mention that you are searching his phone on what sounds like a regular basis. Your boyfriend from my standpoint is doing a lot to try and make you happy and him even stopping liking people's pictures because you asked him to is a lot. Like these are all really harmless things.

The equivalent I could give you is this hypothetical: Imagine your boyfriend was afraid of horses. He's told you this and you made an effort to not even see movies with a horse in it. One day, he is searching your bedroom to see if you have any horses and finds a note you made in the second grade saying "horses are pretty cool" behind your dresser, all covered in dust, and then secretly throws out this drawing worried that you have been hiding the note from him and that he has different feelings. Do you see what I'm getting at? the chances your boyfriend didn't even know the comment was there are really high, but you had gone out of your way to find any shred of his ex.

My advice to you is to calm down a bit. Like your boyfriend is kind of bending over backwards to show you he's over his ex. The only person who isn't over his ex here is you and you're going to have to let it go and accept what he says to you at face value. If you wanted to work on your jealousy, then I suggest getting into some therapy for yourself.

Posted April 26, 2023

[saintlike78]

Flinch [Poly Marauders]

A/N: I’ve been reading a lot of poly Marauders fics and I got inspired to write my own. It’s very different than what I’m used to, and I give 100% credit to @randomoutsiders for the inspiration; please go read their work, it’s so good!

Also, this fic tackles some trauma about domestic abuse, so if this is a trigger PLEASE DO NOT READ. If you are ever abused in a relationship, please remember it’s never your fault and there are so many ways to get help.

International woman’s house crisis hotline (770-413-5557). https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help

Pairing: Poly! Marauders X fem!reader

Words: 3.1k

Summary: poly Marauders. You aren’t a stranger to being spanked, but Sirius tries to slap you without talking it through first, him not knowing it brings back past trauma. You’re shocked, but the boys take it as you liking it, so you power through. But the next day you flinch under normal setting, alerting the boys to something being wrong.

Warnings: TW! Mention of past abuse!, NSFW 16+, vaginal sex, oral (male receiving), polyamorous relationship, spanking, face-slapping, mention of subsbace, Dom!Remus, Dom!Sirius, Soft-dom!James, Sub!reader, degradation, praise, mention of cum, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it).

NSFW starts just below the cut!

Tears were streaming down your face as you tried to take Sirius’ cock as far down your throat as possible. Your arms and legs were shaking with the effort of keeping yourself up on all fours, as Remus pounded into you from behind. James was sitting beside you stroking your back and fisting at his own cock trying to reach his own high by watching you get destroyed by his two boyfriends.

Remus landed a firm slap on your ass making you jolt forwards, making you gag around Sirius.

“Such a little cockslut, can’t even take my cock without gagging” Sirius taunts, making you whine around him.

That’s when Sirius decides to try something none of the boys had tried before, he landed a slap across your face, a sharp sting on your cheek, and a red mark starting to form. Your mind was fuzzy, but panic set in and distant memories made their way to the front of your mind.

Right as Sirius had slapped you, your walls clenched around Remus and your eyes widened with panic, but Sirius took this as a look of surprise and assumed you liked it and he was pulled deeper into that thought when Remus spoke “I think she liked that Pads, she’s squeezing me like a vice,” he landed another slap on your ass, “isn’t that right bunny?”

Your mind was so fuzzy with both pleasure and panic you couldn’t do anything but whimper around Sirius.

“Fuck, princess take it” Sirius groaned as he started to twitch in your mouth, his cum filling your mouth, which you swallowed dutifully.

Sirius moved aside and let James stand in front of you and slowly put his own member inside your mouth. He let out a low groan at the feeling of your warm mouth around him and he wasted no time as he started to fuck into your mouth.

Behind you, Remus was rutting faster into you, growing close to his own release.

James was stroking your hair, being the softest of the three doms and keeping you grounded.

Sirius snaked his hand underneath you and found your swollen clit and started drawing fast circles on it, making you moan loudly around James’ cock.

“There you go, cum for us,” Sirius said as he applied more pressure to the swollen nub.

Your whole body shook as you came, your arms almost failing you.

The feeling and sight of you cumming made Remus moan loudly and spill his seed into you. James reaching his own high seconds after. Both boys slowly pumped into you, riding out theirs and your high, and slowly pulled out. As soon as they were out, you collapsed on the bed, your legs twitching slightly as you tried to catch your breath.

James chuckled softly and got up from the bed to grab a washcloth to clean you up.

“Such a good girl, you did amazing for us,” Remus said as he slowly rubbed your back to calm you down. The fuzz in your brain slowly disappearing as James came back and started to clean you, trying to be as quick as possible to not make you uncomfortable because of the sensitivity.

As James was cleaning you, Sirius had gotten up and fetched the four of you some clothes to wear, and helped you put it on.

As the fuzz had completely lifted from your brain, it was replaced with slight panic again, you knew the boys wouldn’t hurt you, but what if they wanted to. You hadn’t discussed with them that they couldn’t slap or hit you, but you didn’t know you had to. The thoughts were swarming around your mind, but you tried to keep calm and collect yourself, you didn’t want them to be mad at you.

“Okay princess, do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?” Sirius asked, opening his arms for you.

“No,” you said way too fast, but quickly added, “I mean, it’s Jamie’s turn.”

Sirius let his arms drop and frowned, “fine, but then you owe me tomorrow night and the next time we nap,” he said.

You nodded and turned to crawl into James’ bed, but were interrupted by Remus clearing his throat.

“Aren’t you going to give us a goodnight kiss, bunny?” He asked with a lifted brow.

You quickly made your way over to the scarred boy and stood on your toes to reach his lips. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, “goodnight.”

Remus kissed you back and wrapped his arms around you, giving your body a squeeze.

“That’s okay, bunny... are you still a little fuzzy? Because we can’t go to bed yet if you are,” he asked, wanting to make sure you were completely back before you went to sleep.

You just shook your head, “I’m fine, I’m here.”

Remus nodded and let you go to Sirius.

Sirius leaned down and gave you a long kiss, you tried to reciprocate, but you stood awkwardly as the raven-haired boy kissed you.

“Goodnight, love you,” you said quietly and quickly.

“Love you too, princess,” Sirius said but was slightly confused as to why you seemed so off.

You quickly made your way back to James, who was now lying under his blanket waiting for you.

As you got under the covers you snuggled close to him and he draped his arm over your waist.

“Goodnight, darling,” James whispered.

“Goodnight, Jamsie,” you whispered back, your voice almost nonexistent due to fatigue.

————————————

You made your way towards the common room after your last class of the day. You had woken up that morning still a bit weird in the head, the panicked state not quite leaving because of you being constantly afraid. You knew that they wouldn’t hurt you, of course, you knew that... but that’s what you thought about him as well, but you had been wrong before.

The last class of the day you had had without any of your boyfriends, so you were now making your way back on your own.

You walked through the portrait hole and made your way up the stairs towards the dorms. Normally you would be heading towards the boy’s dorms, your room basically being with your three boys, but tonight you decided to head towards your own dorm.

Your dorm room was empty, and you were grateful for the opportunity to be alone for a while. You decided to skip dinner and instead opting to grabbing a book and reading it whilst lounging on your bed.

You were so engrossed in your book you hadn’t noticed the time and suddenly the door opened, making you look up from your book for the first time in what felt like forever.

Lily and Marlene walked through the door but following them were the three boys you had avoided (not intentionally).

“Hi,” you said, your voice small.

“Hi bunny, why weren’t you at dinner and why are you in here?” Remus asked, the three boys making their way over to you and sitting beside you on the bed.

“I was reading and forgot about the time, I wasn’t really hungry,” you said as you started to fiddle with your fingers.

“Okay, you know we don’t like it when you don’t eat, but it’s fine... let’s just go to our room,” Sirius said. You couldn’t make out the tone of his voice and it made you nervous, so you just nodded and got off of the bed.

You said bye and goodnight to the girls and followed the boys to their dorm.

You stood in the middle of the room and your heart jumped a little when the door closed.

You started to fiddle with your hands again, a nervous habit of yours.

Sirius stood in front of you with a concerned frown, but you mistook it as an angry frown and dipped your head in submission.

“Princess, you know not to fiddle, and please look me in the eyes when I’m speaking to you, it’s rude not to,” Sirius said.

You lifted your head and looked at his face, you then looked between him and the two boys sitting on Remus’ bed, both looking at the situation unfold.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your voice small.

Sirius just shook his head and lifted his hand to run it through his hair, but you didn’t get to see his hand reach his hair before panic surged through your body, and your flinched, turning your head to the side and closing your eyes waiting for the impact.

You whimpered and a quiet “no” left your mouth.

Both Remus and James stood from the bed, both completely taken aback by what just happened.

Sirius’ hand halted and he dropped it again, his heart dropping to the floor watching your figure crumble in front of him.

You backed away a little, eyes still closed. You had forgotten that you weren’t allowed to flinch remembering it would only be worse when you did.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you repeated, your whole body trembling.

The three boys looked at each other, none of them knowing how to approach this, not wanting to frighten you more than they had.

Sirius was the first to do anything as the guilt took over and controlled his actions before his brain could tell him to stop.

He took a step towards you and wrapped his arms around you, making you jump again and let out a frightened gasp.

“I’m so sorry baby, I wasn’t going to do anything, I would never, please, I’m so sorry,” Sirius spoke, panic clear in his voice.

You collapsed against him, tears streaming down your face as you sobbed into his chest.

Remus and James quickly made their way over to you and wrapped their arms around both you and Sirius, holding you up.

You just kept mumbling almost silent ‘I’m sorries’.

“Shhh shhh, don’t be sorry, what happened bunny?” Remus asked, slowly caressing your back in hopes of calming you down, but you couldn’t answer him just yet.

After a while, your sobs slowly died down and the only sounds to be heard were your soft sniffles.

You lifted your head slowly and looked into Sirius’ eyes, his eyes already staring at your face trying to decipher what had happened.

You didn’t know what to say, the panic you felt before slowly evaporating, instead, you wrapped your arms around Sirius’ waist and squeezed him.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Stop apologizing, my love, you have nothing to apologize for,” Sirius said quietly, still afraid that he would frighten you again.

“Can we sit down?” You asked, your legs starting to ache from trying to keep yourself up, even if most of your weight was being carried by your three boys.

“Of course, baby,” James answered, and they led you to Remus’ bed where you all sat. Remus sat with his back against the headboard and led you to sit between his legs with your back to his chest. James took a seat beside you with his body turned towards you and took one of your hands. Lastly, Sirius sat crossed-legged in front of you and took your other hand and intertwined your fingers with his, to both comfort you, but also himself as guilt still surged through him.

You caressed Sirius’ hand with your thumb and squeezed his hand, knowing that you scared him with your reaction.

“You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to, but we want to listen if you do want to tell us. We just want to help you and we’re not at all angry, we love you and just want you to feel safe with us, we never want you to be scared of us,” Remus started, his arms making their way around your middle to feel as close to you as possible and show you that he’s there.

You let out a long breath, trying to calm down because you did trust your boys and you wanted them to know that they did nothing wrong.

“So,” you started and cursed yourself for the shakiness of your voice, “you know that before I was with you three, I was with Thomas, you know before he moved to America?”

The three boys nodded but didn’t say anything, waiting for you to continue.

“Well.. uhm... we were together for a while, as you know, but he had slight issues with anger,” you continued, your breath still shaking and your voice breaking a couple of times.

Sirius, who was no stranger to people with anger issues, already had an inkling about where you were going. He could feel the anger start to fill his body but tried to keep his cool as you continued.

“He used to... h.h..hit me and he didn’t like it when I would flinch because he said he wouldn’t hurt me, b..but...” you were trying your hardest to get through your story, but your voice was breaking and fresh tears were weighing down your eyes.

“... he did, a lot and I know you guys never would, but it’s just always in the back of my mind.”

Sirius, James, and Remus were all shocked, they had all been friends with Thomas, not good friends, but friendly.

James was speechless, Remus's eyes filled with tears. Sirius was silently fuming with anger over anyone ever laying a hand on you and that’s when he realized he himself did, albeit during sex, but he still did. The anger was quickly replaced with guilt and sadness and all your weird behavior, especially towards him,

now made sense.

Before he had a chance to say anything the tears spilled from his eyes, catching the attention of yourself, James, and Remus.

“I’m so sorry, I would never have done it if I had known, I was so stupid, I should have talked to you about it first,” Sirius cried.

“No, you couldn’t have known! It was my fault for not telling you tha..” you tried to tell Sirius, but you were swiftly interrupted by the man himself. He grabbed your face in his hands and looked you in the eyes, “it was not your fault, never was, it was my fault for not asking you if it was alright before I did it and not even realizing that you weren’t enjoying it,” Sirius stated, making sure that his point came across.

You just nodded and leaned your head further into his touch, making Sirius’ heart skip a beat and he let out a shaky breath of relief.

“Thank you so much for telling us, our darling girl,” James said, stroking your cheek with his free hand.

Remus grabbed your waist and lifted you up, so you were situated on his lap, your side towards him. He kissed your temple and proceeded to say, “please tell us if we ever do anything to make you the least bit uncomfortable and we will stop immediately, we never want to hurt you or make you feel like you can’t talk to us or tell us when something is wrong.”

Sirius continued on from Remus, “we love you so much beautiful girl and again I’m so sorry for scaring you and laying a hand on you.”

“I forgive you; I know you didn’t do it with vicious intent, you only thought I would enjoy it and you couldn’t have known that I wouldn’t. I love you all so much, I’m so happy to have you all in my life,” you said as you leaned your head on Remus’ shoulder, your eyes growing heavy as fatigue took over your body because of all the emotions you felt in such a small amount of time.

“We’re the lucky ones, and lucky for you, you’re stuck with us forever,” James said with a huge grin, causing you all to let out a laugh, knowing that what he said was true. You couldn’t imagine yourself being with anyone else.

“You want to go to sleep, Bunny?” Remus asked, stroking your hair slowly, lulling you into a sleepy state, causing you to yawn.

“Mmhm,” you let out a sound of agreement.

“Okay let’s get ready for bed then,” James said as he got up to look for a shirt of theirs you could wear to sleep.

After having Remus help you get ready for bed and returning from the bathroom back into the room you stopped in the middle of the room, having to choose who to cuddle with that night.

Sirius didn’t want to push you, in your somewhat fragile state, but still very much in need of your comfort and reassurement.

You timidly made your way towards where Sirius was sitting shirtless on his bed and stood between his open legs, his hands instinctively finding placement on your hips.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” You asked, not knowing why you had gone all shy.

“Of course, you can, our sweet girl, you don’t ever have to ask,” Sirius said and gave your hips a squeeze. His stomach leaping with excitement and relief.

You leaned down and kissed his forehead and left his grasp to kiss both Remus and James goodnight.

Sirius was waiting for you to finish before making his own way over to the two boys to also say his goodnights.

“Don’t worry Sirius, she’s not mad or scared, she was just shocked,” Remus Whispered for only Sirius to hear before he made his way back to the bed where you were waiting for him.

Sirius got under the covers first and opened them so you could slip in.

You laid facing Sirius, his arms around you holding you as close to his body as possible, legs intertwined, one of your hands resting on his chest and the other resting on his cheek.

“I love you so much, I can’t even explain it. If I ever see that horrible excuse for a man I will hex him into oblivion,” Sirius whispered, the first part sweetly, but his whisper got more aggressive as the sentence progressed.

His statement made you giggle; you knew he was being serious (pun intended) and you felt your heart swell with love at how safe you felt with them.

“I love you; I hope we never do see him, but I know I can always count on you, I feel so safe with you.”

Sirius’ eyes filled with tears (again) at your words, it was all he ever wanted.

He gave your body a squeeze and pulled you even closer if that was even possible, and you buried your face in the crook of his neck breathing in his masculine scent.

Sirius’ soft breathing and steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep, and you knew you always would be safe with not only him, but all three of your boys.

[iwadori]

Hiiii!!!! can you do like when you guys are supposed to meet up and they waited for about an hour or so and kept texting you you but you haven't replied so they thought you ditched them and got mad at you and stuff then they decided to go home and while on their way home not too far from their school they found you unconscious body with a large wound on you back and your head bleeding?.

can you pleaseease do tsukishima, yamaguchi, ushijima, bokuto (I'm sorry if that's a lot)

Haikyu Boys when you get hurt Pt 2 (Ushijima,Bokuto

Part One Part Two Part Three

Word count: 2.6K

Genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

Ushijima

You were having the worst week this week,  from battling a cold and your boss making you do all sorts of extra jobs (that were definitely not under your job description.) As easter was swiftly approaching you and Ushijima had your annual plans of going to the local kids community center and helping them with an easter egg hunt. But you don’t think you can manage it this year.

Ushijima gets home from practice with 4 bags just filled with easter eggs ranging from all different sizes, “woah there Toshi, you’ve got enough there too feed all of england” you laugh  

“I don’t think these eggs will be able to sustain England Y/N” he says seriously making you laugh even harder. As you were laughing, you felt another migraine come along making your cringe in pain. “Toshi, I don’t think I can do the easter egg hunt this year?”  

He sits down next to you alarmed that something is wrong, “why what happened Y/N” he asks

“I’ve been feeling terrible all week, and I even have a migraine right now” you say to him thinking he would understand.

“That’s it?” he questions thinking what you said was a joke “I think you can handle a migraine, remember we’re doing this for the kids”

His words were making you feel slightly guilty since maybe you were being over dramatic. “Y/N if it’s really ‘that bad’, i’ll make you some tea so you can feel better,” he says going into the kitchen to start on your tea. You murmur a quiet “thank you” and you end up falling asleep, hoping that by the time you wake up your head stops pounding.

As you wake up, you realise you slept all the way through the night and over to the next day as when you look at your clock it says 12:32 pm. You look at your nightstand and saw that Ushijima wrote you a note saying:  

Y/N I've left out early to set out the easter egg hunt, I’ve made you breakfast so eat up and get prepared for the event which starts at 4pm. Please don’t forget.

Sincerely – Ushijima Wakatoshi.

You chuckle at the fondness of the note, before realising your pain. Your brain felt like it was having a live concert inside that definitely was not going to end soon but you still got up prepared for the day. You didn’t want to let Ushijima or the kids down.  

When you go to the kitchen , you see the cute breakfast that Ushijima made you consisting of all of your favourite foods and with another simple note of him saying ‘ I love you. ‘ Ushijima has always been a lovely boyfriend, treating you like the queen you are always making sure that you were okay. Of course, his bluntness and his lack of social cues was something to get used to but when you did get accustomed to it, it only made you fall in love with him more.

You got ready, feeling even more sick as the piping hot shower that you usual have, did not help as when you were showering you felt heavily faint. However, you persevered since you did not want to let Ushijima down.

You finally were prepared to leave the house, with the community center being on 15 minutes walk away you were leaving out at 3:50pm since you were planning to take your car anyways. When you leave your home, you realise that you forgot your car keys so you dash up the stairs (a bit too quickly) to go and find them. Scrambling through your draws, your head is pounding harder and harder and the more it pounds the quicker your moving making you even more faint. You eventually find your keys and you’re ready to zoom to the community center but your body gave out and you pass out tumbling down the stairs landing at your front door.

Ushijima was waiting outside of the community center waiting for you to arrive it was 4:05pm and he was wondering where you were (knowing that your place was only a 10 minute drive away) he sent you a few texts asking where you were but when you don’t respond Ushijima becomes slightly annoyed, plastering a fake smile on his face and entering the community center, starting the easter egg hunt.

The easter egg hunt came to a close at 8pm and Ushijima assumed that you would’ve showed up some time in the middle of the event, but you obviously didn’t show. After making sure that all the kids left safely Ushijima decided to call and text you more and when you continuously don’t respond and your calls go to voicemail he says ‘Y/N, im really disappointed with you right now. How could you do this to me? You said you would show up, the kids were really upset, how could you be so selfish?’

He walks to your house knocking on the door, but when you don’t immediately answer he knew something must be up now, since you haven’t responded to any of his texts and calls and didn’t show up he figured there was something deeper then you just ditching the event.

He used his key to open the door, surprised when the door hit something. He tried again hitting the ‘object’ that was laying at the door again. He carefully pushes the door to make enough room for him to fit through the gap. When he entered, he was startled at the sight of you, there you lay completely knocked out with a blood stain next to your head. He knelt down next to you and touched your cheek you were extremely cold, he had to get you to a hospital stat. He called an ambulance, panicked. Worrying about how long you’ve been out for since it would have to be atleast more than 4 hours he assumed.

You woke up in a foreign room, with your head slightly stinging. You place your hand on the back of your head and wince, then you remember you need to be at the easter egg hunt so you bolt up ready to move.  

“I don’t think that’s wise for you to do that Y/N” Ushijima says to you  

“Toshi, what happened?” you ask still in pain

“It seems you fell down the stairs and hit your head” after he said that all your memories come flooding back, and you remember rushing to the community centre, looking for your keys, and then falling down the stairs and everything going black.

“I’m sorry Ushi for missing the easter egg hunt, I really tried to get there,” you say with an apologetic look on your face  

“It’s fine Y/N of course you wouldn’t of been able to get there after falling down the stairs” he says “Also, this is proof of why you shouldn’t run down the stairs”

You eventually get discharged with the doctor telling you all you need to do is rest and stay off your feet. Ushijima took the doctor's orders very seriously, becoming your loyal servant and waiting on you hand and foot, tending to your every need. He did also make you were eating healthy and taking all your medicine so you could have the best recovery possible.  

Also, after realising that this could’ve all been avoided if Ushijima didn’t guilt trip you in the first place for having a migraine, he made sure to never ignore or dismiss when you say you are ill or have anything wrong with you even if it’s a migraine, a lost limb or a simple paper cut.

Bokuto  

The Olympics were coming up and Bokuto couldn’t be any more excited than he already was. Everything he’s talked about for the past month he manages to find a way to relate to the Olympics, and as annoying as it got sometimes you were just as excited for it as much as Bokuto was.  

Bokuto was heavily busy with extra practices so you were bored and lonely, since your boyfriend was at practice all the time so you chose to take up a new hobby. You decided to paint, although you weren’t an award-winning painter you still found joy in it. Being Bokuto’s girlfriend you had some slight unwanted attention on you: the usual fans of Bokuto that just followed you to have an extra aspect of him in their life's, or his fangirls that adored him.  

You didn’t mind the fangirls for the most part since majority of them were pretty tamed and did fawn over your relationship. However, there was the minority of fans that did make it known to you that they DID NOT like you at all. When you started posting your paintings, it seems their hate for you amplified since they always found the need to leave an astray of mean comments on your post. But that didn’t mainly bother you since you thought that they only had that energy behind the screen.

The days went by getting closer to the Olympics, with Bokuto always asking you every day “Y/N you are coming to my games, right?” to which you always replied “Of course Kou, I’m coming” which always made him smile.

When the Olympics came, you’ve went to all the games cheering Bokuto and the team on as they were winning round after round. Whilst this was going on, the group of girls that were sending you horrible messages and making mean posts about you weren’t stopping. At first, you didn’t care for them but it seems their posts only gotten worse making comments about your artwork, your face, your body type ect.  

You didn’t want to tell Bokuto as you felt that it would ruin his Olympic momentum and you thought you could handle it all on your own.  

It was nearing to the final game of the Olympics, and Bokuto was ecstatic he made sure that you promised you’d be there claiming that you was his ‘good luck’ charm.’ You were excited to go too, the feeling of watching Bokuto play was exhilarating seeing him fully in his element was great for you to see.

On the last game day, Boktuo was already at the stadium since him and the team had to be there earlier to practice and you planned to meet him there just before the game started at 4:30. You went to a florist before the match getting Bokuto the biggest boquet that you could buy.  

On your way to the stadium you here somebody whistle from behind you, you turn around and see a group of girls waiting behind you smirking. “Hi?” you say more like a question then a statement “do you want something from me?”

Some of them laugh, but the one standing at the front who you mentally lable the ‘main one’ steps closer to you and says “We want you to stay away from Bokuto” you realise that these were the girls sending you hate online for these past weeks.

Before you can even blink, the girls jump you, hitting, kicking and clawing at you. You are in pain, screaming and crying for them to stop and leave you alone. You lay there, letting them beat you up thinking that you’ll probably end up dead out of this. All you can think about is Bokuto, you didn’t get to wish him good luck, or give him your flowers (that you spent a fortune on) or even tell him that you loved him one last time.

You think the girls eventually stopped but you couldn’t tell because your body was throbbing and you hurt all over. You tried to get up still wanting to go to the match but you collapse going out cold.

Bokuto was scanning the crowd over and over for you, hoping to spot you there. But he couldn’t, he was wondering where you were getting sadder and sadder by the second since he really believed you were his good luck charm and he probably wouldn’t be able to win without at least seeing your face once.

They didn’t win. Bokuto knew he wasn’t playing at his best, since all his mind was on was thinking about where you were. You’ve never missed one of his games, so he was incredibly worried. After he accepted his second-place medal, he rushed out the stadium to go to your house but he was stopped by some fangirls ‘I guess signing autographs is the least I can do’ he thinks, the fans were being a bit odd today but he didn’t have time to focus on that as his mind was racing thinking about you and your whereabouts.  

One of his fans did give him an alarmingly big boquet of roses which he appreciated ‘these must of cost a fortune’ he thinks. Although it was a probably a long shot, he decided to ask the fan if he saw someone who looked like *whatever you look like* to maybe see if someone else saw you. Which the fan replied “yeah I saw them with some guy at this restaurant whilst we were going to see you!” they exclaimed.

‘A guy’ he thought ‘that most likely wasn’t you.’ Seeing Bokuto’s confusion, the fan followed up with “I'm pretty sure it was her I mean we all know who Bokuto Koutaro’s girlfriend was.” Bokuto didn’t reply just walking away making sure to thank them for the flowers.  

He was rushing towards your house on foot (since all the taxi’s and ubers were fully booked because of the Olympics) whilst running he stumbles across your passed out body all black and bruised with scratch marks and bleeding all over you. “what happened” he whispered, knowing you obviously weren’t going to respond.  

He picked up your near-dead body, and cradled you in his arms taking you back to the stadium (since he knew that getting an ambulance to come here or running to the hospital would basically be impossible.) When he got back to the stadium, he did get odd looks from strangers but he didn’t care, his only agenda was making sure you were okay.

You woke up, and saw Bokuto pacing the room repeatedly you tried to get his attention by saying his name but your throat was damaged. He eventually notices you and runs to your side, stroking your face softly and giving you a gentle hug making sure not to hurt you.  

“Who did this Y/N?” he asks with worry in his eyes  

You ignore his question and look at the silver medal wrapped around his neck making you sad “I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the match, I tried I really did try” you said with your voice sounding even worse after you said every word.  

“Don’t be silly, I’m just glad that you’re okay babe, I was really worried about you.” he said

The Medic came in and said that you had multiple broken ribs, but beside that you were fine you just needed to rest your throat and let your bruises heal. You eventually told Bokuto that it was some of his fans, he was upset that you hid this from him for so long but he was just glad that he got to you as soon as he did. He managed to play at the next Olympics and you were there fully present, with your even bigger boquet of flowers watching win gold.

Authors Note: I tried to make it as close to your request as possible, but I hope you enjoy as I really do think this is my favourite work so far.... :3 Comments and feedback appreciated.

[v-hope]

Tiger Lily

Pairing: Jeon Jeongguk x Reader

Genre: Fluff, slight angst, smut, established relationship, College!AU

Word Count: 11.3k

Summary: After finding out your boyfriend was the one to secretly leave flowers in your seat every week back in high school, you have many questions he’s willing to answer. And after finding out the reason the two of you had not gotten together back then was because of your ex best friend, the two of you decided that, first, you were never letting anyone else get in between you, and, second, you were making the most out of your time together from now on.

—Alternarively, the one in which you and your boyfriend finally get your place all to your own and he decides he’s not letting his nonexistent sexual experience stop him from having his way with you anymore.

Warnings: Virgin!JK (a.k.a. male virginity loss), fingering, cunnilingus, handjob (kinda), penetrative sex, protected sex, very slight (male) overstimulation, shy and confident guk keep switching places (when do they not), just very lovey dovey, very intimate.

A/N: Helloo, this is part 33 of my Social Media AU Tiger Flower, but you can still read it if you don’t follow the story. I’m actually shocked by how long this turned out to be but wbk I’m soft as hell for this couple 🥺 so please give it lots of love because I put a lot of effort in this ksñaks. I hope you guys enjoy! Oh, and also, I’m bolding the first and last sentence of the smut part, so if you don’t wanna read it just skip what’s in between the bolded words lol.

“I’ll get it” Yoongi announced when someone called on the door, leaving you and Jimin alone on the sofa as he rushed up to get it.

As soon as he opened it and Jeongguk stepped inside your shared place, bowing politely to your friends before his stare fell on you, you felt your heart race. Saying nothing, you gave him a closed mouth smile, having him do the same at the sight of yours. Although it hadn’t been longer than a week, it had been the longest you had gone without seeing each other ever since you became friends, and, even though you weren’t really showing it right then —as for some reason you were nervous as hell to see each other again—, it was unbelievable how happy you were at the mere sight of one another.

“We were just leaving” Yoongi informed, catching up on what was going on. After all, you had told both him and Jimin that your boyfriend would be coming over to talk things out.

“We were?” Jimin asked with furrowed eyebrows. “I just got home”.

“Let’s give them some privacy” he tilted his head towards the opened door so Jimin would tag along.

“I can go to my room for that”.

“Yah! We all know your nosy ass will eavesdrop everything that way” Yoongi called him out, and you didn’t miss the way Jeongguk had to lower his head not to show his amused smile, being already used to your roommates’ endless bickering antics by now. “Come on, let’s go see Jin hyung at his pub”.

Simple as that, Jimin left your side in a heartbeat to go to the door. “Well, I won’t say no to drinking” he admitted, stopping right in front of Jeongguk and pointing an accusing finger at him. “Take care of my baby”.

“My baby” Guk corrected him, mumbling his words low enough for you not to hear.

Although, unlike you, Jimin did hear —for that had been your boyfriend’s intention—, he said nothing, instead glaring at him the way he always did whenever that discussion over you took place at least twice a week, and walking out of the apartment for once and for all. Yoongi, on the other hand, gave the two of you a small thumbs up before following behind his friend.

And just like that, with the sound of the door closing, silence was quick to take over the room.

This was probably the first time ever since you met that neither of you knew what to say. Fuck, this was probably the first time in your life you didn’t know how to start a conversation. And it wasn’t like you could go over there and kiss him like you were dying to, could you? You had not completely made up yet. That’s what he was here for after all. To talk, not to make out. Although you weren’t really against that idea, and he most definitely was not either — the way his eyes fixed on your lips even all the way over from the door was enough to tell you so.

It had been a good couple of days since you had last seen each other after all.

“You, uh…” your voice came out quite unsteady as you stood up, fixing the plain t-shirt and cotton pyjama pants you were wearing. “Are you hungry?” you asked, walking towards the kitchen and having him quietly follow right behind as you entered it. “Wanna eat something? Drink something?”

He shook his head no when you turned around to look at him, resting your hands on the counter as you leaned against it. “Just wanna clear up your questions”.

You nodded, for that was what he was here for after all, to clear everything up so the two of you could go back to normal. So you could go back to being the happy couple you both loved so much.

“So what are they?” he pushed it when you stood there with no signs of wanting to speak any time soon.

“I just…” you shrugged, making yourself comfortable by sitting at the edge of the counter. “Why didn’t you tell me before that you were the one sending me flowers back then?”

He pouted in confusion as he came closer to you. “When?”

“When we were friends…”

“It would’ve been out of place back then, petal” he explained. “We were just friends and you were into someone else. It would’ve been awkward for us and I really didn’t wanna lose you as my friend” his voice couldn’t help but come out rather bitterly at that, remembering all the thoughts that had invaded his mind when he first saw his chance to let you know it had been him all along, all the thoughts that kept him back from telling you.

“And when we started dating?” you tilted your head. “You had so many chances to tell me, Guk…”

“When we started dating I just didn’t think it mattered anymore” he confessed, unconsciously resting his hands on your knees. “I had you, I really didn’t care about it anymore”.

“You could’ve still told me…”

“And how was I supposed to bring it up? It’s not something I can just say out of nowhere” he pointed out, having you nodding understandingly. “And what was I supposed to say anyway? Hey there, I’m your flower boy?”

A light laugh escaped his mouth when you playfully shoved him away at his words, mocking what you had once told him was the confession you had been expecting from your secret admirer. Holding your hands, he pulled you closer to the edge of the counter, and hence, closer to him. Taking advantage of that, you intertwined your fingers, enjoying the familiar warmth of his hands as you admired the way he softly swayed them together.

“This is so surreal” you sighed.

“In a good or a bad way?”

You shook your head, not being able to give him a proper answer. “I just… I always wanted it to be you so bad, and for a good while I was sure it was you, but it made sense that you were into Sooyeon instead”.

Jeongguk furrowed his eyebrows, the mere thought of ever feeling something for her making him want to gawk. “How could that have ever made sense?”

“She was more like you” you pointed out, rushing to make your point before he could snap at you for comparing the two of them. “Like, yes, she was popular and had lots of friends, but she was the most quiet out of all of us. Believe it or not, she was really shy back then, an—”

“And why would I have wanted more of the same?”

“Huh?” you were taken aback by his question.

“You’re saying she was like me, then I don’t understand why would I have wanted to be with her” he said as if it was obvious.  “If I barely ever speak and so did she… I mean, how would that have even worked out?”

You shrugged, not being able to help the small smile that had started curving up your lips. “Is that why you fall for loud asses like me? So someone else will make up for your lack of talking?”

He chuckled at the teasing tone in your voice, allowing his hands to travel up to your thighs and tenderly drawing circles on them with his thumbs. “Not really” your eyebrows knitted together at his words. “There were a lot of loud girls who would not shut up to save their lives in our class and I didn’t really like them. If anything, they annoyed the hell out of me”.

“Why’d you even want to be with me then?” you wondered, being genuinely curious as to what about your loud, chatty antics, made you different to the rest of your loud classmates.

“You really don’t know why I’ve always liked you?”

You shook your head no. “Why is it?”

Taking in a deep breath, he took a step back so he could collect his thoughts before answering your question. “I don’t think you even remember when I just transferred to our high school in the second year, let alone my first day there. Mrs. Kang made me sit on the empty table next to yours and then proceeded to pass around a surprise test, and me being me, of course I forgot my pencil case at home that day,” he huffed, causing you to chuckle under your breath. “So I just sat there internally freaking out because I couldn’t bring myself to ask anyone for a pen, like I couldn’t move and my voice literally wouldn’t come out no matter how hard I tried” a breathy laugh abandoned his lips. “And I was accepting the idea of turning in a blank paper when suddenly a pen was placed on my table. So my eyes followed your hand back to your table and there you were with your eyes stuck to the test, solving the math problems like you had not just saved me from failing on my very first day as the new kid,” you laughed at his dramatism, however, you managed to remember about that moment. “And then as soon as the class ended you were surrounded by people and you were all talking nonstop and I didn’t know how to give you your pen back, so I tried to slide it into your table but you caught me and told me I could keep it, that it was a ‘welcome present’, and then you smiled at me and honestly that was it for me, Y/N”.

“It was?” you wondered in awe, eyes shining when he nodded.

“I didn’t like loud and popular people up until then, which is kinda weird considering Tae’s my best friend” a throaty laugh escaped your lips at his remark. “But although you were those things, you always got me. You just… understood, in a way. Like, you didn’t pressure me to talk or made me feel bad for not doing so, like the rest of the popular kids did. If anything, you would try to make me feel like I wasn’t all on my own whilst leaving me alone like I wanted” he tilted his head, wondering if what he just said had made any sense, knowing you understood his point when you smiled ever so sweetly. “Like when you added me to your group project one time and let me send my part instead of having to go hang out with you and your friends for an entire afternoon, or when you would invite me to your birthdays along with the rest of the class and then proceeded to tell me not to feel pressured to go if I didn’t feel like it. And even now, ever since the beginning you made me feel good about not really being into partying and barely ever talking”.

“You’ve been more talkative with me lately, though” you pointed out as you mindlessly played with the hair at the back of his head. “Although this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk”.

He chuckled, playfully pinching your thighs. “Don’t get used to it”.

“I won’t, I won’t” you chuckled, planting a chaste kiss to his chest. “Anyway, you said I get you but I didn’t let you do your part of the project on your own this year, though” you reminded him with a feigned pout that he couldn’t help but find the cutest. “And I force you to spend time with me pretty much everyday now. Will you forgive me?”

Jeongguk let out a throaty laugh, leaning in just enough for his lips to press to your cheek. “I got to date you now thanks to that, so you’re forgiven” he planted another kiss to the curved up corner of your smiling mouth. “And funny how you think you’re forcing me when half the time it’s me asking to hang out”.

You giggled. “We love a 50/50 relationship”.

Tilting your head ever so slightly to take a better look at him after hearing him chuckle, you were greatly surprised by his lips pressing down on yours.

Although you had jokingly said that last sentence, it was not far from the truth at all. It wasn’t just you chasing after him and wanting to be with him all the time, but him wanting the exact same all the same. So you could tell by the way he was kissing you right then. It was slow, painfully slow, yet the way his hands were firmly cupping your face to keep you from moving away as he deepened the kiss, could not fail to tell you just how much he had missed you, needed you, those past few days you were apart.

Pressing one small peck to his mouth, you tugged at the fabric of his sweatshirt to pull him closer to your body, later wrapping your arms tightly around his waist and resting your face on his chest — a content sigh escaping your mouth when his arms did the same with you and his lips kissed the crown of your head.

“It really never would’ve crossed my mind that you liked me way before the whole flowers thing...”

“Not even when that one summer we would keep running into each other at the park and you would catch me staring from time to time?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

The heat didn’t wait to reach your cheeks at that. You remembered that very well, for it was the summer you caught feelings for him as well, the one right before you entered your last year of high school. You would go out for walks on your own just for the sake of doing something other than staying in texting your friends all day long, and would run into him most of the time while he walked his dog, the one you now knew was named Gold.

Although you had talked in class more than once —or well, you had talked to him more than once—, you were not friends, and hence, neither of you got the guts to come close to one another to try and start small talk. However, that didn’t stop either of you from staring at each other when you were not looking. Sometimes you would catch each other staring, though, and you couldn’t stop an amused smile from curving up your lips when you remembered one particular time he had choked on air when you smiled at him after catching his eyes being fixed on you, just like he had choked earlier this year when you had asked him if you could sit next to him in class. It seemed to be a habit of his by now, at least when it came to you.

“I thought you were just judging me over the way I was always sniffing the flowers and taking pictures of them…” you admitted, for although a part of you did want to believe he was into you back then, you couldn’t really bring yourself to fully believe it.

He pulled you back by your shoulders so he could give you a questioning look. “Judging you with heart eyes?”

“Yah!” you called him out, feeling your cheeks burn.

Jeongguk laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “I really just couldn’t take my eyes away from you, you looked so hypnotized by them and it was the cutest to me”.

“Is that why you thought about secretly giving me flowers?” you couldn’t help but ask.

He nodded, lowering his head. “I know it would’ve been easier to just talk to you, but I really couldn’t bring myself to do it. Fuck, I even was a nervous wreck this year when you first talked to me,” a breathy laugh escaped his mouth. “So I just… thought I could do that for a while until I got the guts to confess. Although I guess a part of me really wanted you to find out, because whilst looking for different kinds flowers I came across tiger lilies and, apart from finding out they were my birth flower, their meaning just fit so well with what I wanted to do and I just—”

“What do they mean?” you asked.

“It’s cheesy” he let you know with pleading eyes, silently asking you not to make him say it out loud. “Like, really cheesy”.

“Come on,” you begged with pouty lips, getting a hold of his hands. “I’ll look it up on the internet either way if you don’t tell me”.

He shook his head in both amusement and embarrassment altogether, knowing well enough you would do just that if he did not comply right then. So, biting down on his bottom lip, he said: “Please, love me”.

Your eyebrows furrowed in clear confusion. “Huh?”

“They mean ‘please, love me’” he clarified at the sight of your puzzled face, and your heart skipped a beat as you froze in your place. “I told you it was cheesy”.

“No, no, it’s not that. I just… is that what…” you pressed your lips together as you tried to compose yourself. “Did you… do you mean that?” it was now his turn to look confused, tilting his head to the side because of it. “You want me to love you?”

And although to you it seemed like a complicated question to answer, to him, on the other hand, it wasn’t. So, nodding his head immediately, he let you know that was exactly what he wanted.

“Back then, even when we were teenagers and barely ever talked, and I knew nothing about love, I was convinced I was in love with you… even if I knew it was one sided. And now that I got to be your friend and then your boyfriend, I…” he took in a deep breath, staring down to your hands in his before his eyes went back to yours. “I know more than ever that I love you. I love you so much, Y/N. And I know loving someone takes time, and I don’t want to push you or rush you at all, but if you could just try and find it in you to love me back someday, I—”

The small chuckle that abandoned your lips caused his mouth to shut close in an instant, not understanding what was so funny about his words and for a split second there feeling uneasy. However, all his worries went away when you cupped his face in your hands, staring at his lips for a brief second before your eyes went up to fix on his.

“I already love you, you dummy”.

Not giving him time to process your truthful words, if anything, knowing it would take him a while to do so, you leaned in to steal a small kiss from his lips, pecking them ever so tenderly a couple of times until he smiled, finally understanding the meaning of your words and placing his hands on the back of your neck to keep you from pulling away as he sucked on your bottom lip.

“Say it again?” he pleaded in between kisses, not being able to erase the huge smile on his face.

You chuckled teasingly. “Nope”.

“Yah,” he let go fully of your mouth. “You’re always speaking nonstop and now that I for once ask you to say something, you won’t?”

“Exactly” you smiled brightly, giggling when he squinted his eyes at you and leaning in to peck his mouth a couple more times. “I love you, bun” you cooed, being done with your teasing way earlier than you had planned to.

And it was the way you loved him back, along with the way you had gone back to call him that pet name he was the softest about, what had him giving you one of those bunny smiles of his that made you come up with that name to begin with.

“You won’t say it back?” you wondered, batting your lashes for him to take a hint.

Nevertheless, he shook his head no. “I already said it twice, we’re even”.

“Yah!” you lightly shoved him off, only to have him standing right back in between your legs like he had been during your entire conversation. “Jeongguk-ah~”

“Yes, baby?” he played innocent.

“Tell me you love me” you pouted, crossing your arms over your chest.

Letting out a light laugh, he cupped your face and gave your mouth a chaste kiss. “I love you, petal”.

You smiled sweetly, allowing him to plant a few more kisses on your mouth before you pressed your lips to the spot under his jawline, resting your face on his chest as he wrapped his arms around you once more.

“You should’ve confessed back then” you lamented, looking up to his face yet only being met by the sight of his chin. “Why didn’t you?”

He sighed, resting his chin on the top of your head and tightening the hold of his arms around your waist.

There it was, the most important question out of them all. The one he had came here to talk about, yet he had completely forgotten about as he had gotten caught up on making up with you instead. And now that things were finally good between you two, he couldn’t help but fear bringing up said person and what she had done would make things worse all over again.

“I was going to” he let you know. “That was the plan all along”.

Your eyebrows knitted together, sitting up so you could fix your questioning eyes on his troubled expression. “Then why didn’t you?” you repeated your previous question.

He sighed heavily, causing your body to tense up, as you knew right then you wouldn’t like what he was about to tell you. “Sooyeon…”

“What?” you pushed it when he stopped right after mentioning her name. “What did she do?!”

He bit the inside of his cheek. Although he had found out about everything a few days ago and had gotten some time to come to terms with it, it still hurt just as much. All the lost time and what it could have been, all the possibilities that could’ve come with having been with you as a couple ever since your last year of high school, still made his blood boil.

“She found out I was your flower boy one morning and she told me I was wasting my time…”

“What?!” your loud tone was a mix of both worry and anger. “Jeongguk, what did she tell you?”

He shrugged, a weak smile curving up his lips. “Does it matter anymore?”

“Of course it does” you argued. “It does to me”.

Letting out another sigh, knowing well enough he could not avoid this anymore, as you deserved to know the whole story just like he did, he grabbed your hands and gently held them in his — partially wanting to let you know it was alright, partially wanting to feel like it was alright. “She said you had told her you hoped it wasn’t me because you would have to give me a chance out of pity,” the look in your eyes right then made his heart hurt. “Because I was not popular, and I barely ever talked, so you would always be bored around me yet would have to pretend like you were not…”

“Bun, I never said that. I neve—”

“I know” he cut you off before you could freak out completely. “Petal, I know that now”.

“No, but she lied!” you raised your voice for him to hear you out. “I’m never bored around you, you know that, right? And the few times we got to talk back then I was never bored either, I…”

“Baby, I know…” he soothed you, cupping your face and pressing his forehead on yours. “I know. It’s okay”.

“Guk, I had feelings for you back then” you confessed, feeling your voice break.

He took in a shaky breath. Somehow, hearing that coming from you had hurt more than finding out from someone else like he had a few days ago. “It’s okay”.

And it was. It really was. You were together now. Somehow, you had managed to find your way back to each other years later and didn’t have to know what your lives were like without each other. However, the fact that it was alright, it didn’t mean it did not hurt. Because it did hurt. Thinking you could’ve been together ever since three years ago. How you wouldn’t have dated that asshole who broke your heart, and how he wouldn’t have gone three years of his life believing he was not enough. All of that, was not something the two of you could easily let go of.

“So all this time... you really believed I had said that about you? Even when we were friends, when we became a couple…” your voice sounded more broken by the second. “You let me back into your life even when I had supposedly said all those things back then?”

“Call me delusional, but I still really wanted to be close to you” he sheepishly admitted. That’s how he knew he would always have a soft spot for you, no matter what. “And anyway, baby, in my mind that was the high school you. You didn’t seem like the person who said those things back then at all when I got to actually meet you” he reassured you, then bitterly adding: “Now I can see why”.

You breathed uneasily. “You’re too good to me…”

“Yah, Y/N” he called you out immediately. “I told you, we’re not doing this”.

“But I really don’t deserve y—”

Your words were cut off by his lips softly pressing down on yours. Just like you would always call him out whenever he thought less of himself, hating it when he did that, he, too, hated hearing you say stuff like that about yourself.

“It doesn’t matter anymore” he whispered against your lips.

“Yes, it does…” you pouted. “She lied to both of us and we believed her. We could’ve been together ever since...”

“I know…”

“Three years, Guk. We lost three fucking years” you reminded him. “What if I hadn’t asked you to be my partner in the project this year, I mean, I wouldn’t even have you in my life and all because of her”.

“I know” he couldn’t hide the bitterness in his words this time. Because he knew very well what you were feeling, for he had felt the exact same a few days ago. “But can we just… forget about it?”  

“No, I want to beat the shit out of her” your determined, poisonous tone, could do no other than earn a loud giggle from him.

“Do that later?” he pressed his lips to the crook of your neck. “She already took enough time away from us, let’s not let her get in between us anymore. We’re making up now, it’s just us two...”

It was now your turn to giggle, relaxing under his loving touch and nodding your head in agreement before you leaned in to briefly press your mouth to his jaw. “We’ll just have to catch up on all those lost years then”.

He laughed under his breath, cupping your face once more as he leaned in just enough for his lips to faintly brush yours. “I guess we’ll just have to do that”.

Enjoying the sound of that, you puckered your lips up right as his soft ones came in contact with them, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck so you could deepen the kiss. Humming contentedly when his tongue made its way inside your mouth, you felt his hands let go of your face and wander down your back, holding onto your hips to bring you even closer to the edge of the kitchen counter, at which you reacted by wrapping your legs around his hips to help him create the friction between your bodies he was asking for.

You found yourself letting go of his neck to dig your hands inside his sweatshirt instead, smiling coyly at the way you felt goosebumps form on his skin. You had discovered not long ago he was quite ticklish on his sides, and you absolutely loved faintly running your hands along them just to get that reaction out of him.

He breathed heavily when your fingertips made their way up his abs, letting his hands go down lower from their current spot on your back and placing them on your ass instead, giving it a light squeeze as he took advantage on said action to grind his hips against your center.

“Mm…” you let out quietly, finding out just then how much you had missed feeling him close like that.

“You think they’ll be home soon?” he asked, referring to your two chaotic friends, as he peppered a trail of kisses down to your neck.

“They must be just getting started on drinking” you let him know, a smile curving up your lips at the sensation of his wet ones sucking on your skin. “Why? You got something in mind?”

The chuckle that left his mouth tickled your skin, feeling one last kiss being placed on it before his lips were briefly back on yours. “Only if you’re up for it”.

Your lips parted in a bright smile, without another word, shoving him lightly out of the way so you could place your feet on the ground — gently taking his hand in yours and having his adoring eyes stuck to you as you guided him over to your room.

Once inside, and as you let go of his hold so you could turn around to lock the door just in case your friends decided to come home earlier than expected, his eyes fell on the multiple tiger lilies he had left on your seat over the last two days, along with the bouquet of flowers he had sent over to your place earlier that day, all of them carefully lying on your desk by one side of the bed. Smiling at the fact that you had kept them all —as he had been worried you would’ve thrown them away when he first sent them—, he turned around towards you right as you were done with the door, cupping your face immediately and bringing his lips to meet yours in a quite needy kiss.

Walking you backwards towards the bed as he refused to break the hot contact between your mouths, he helped you lie down on it as he crawled over your figure, parting your legs open with his knee so he could lie in between them — a light laugh of his resonating against your mouth when your hands were back into his sweatshirt and the trace of your fingertips tickled his sides.

Wanting more of you as well, he found himself digging his hands inside your t-shirt just like he had grown fond of ever since that one time in his room, letting them make their way up to your breasts so he could tease them a little bit. Only, this time, he was met not by the thin fabric of your bra, but with your soft skin instead — feeling your nipples instantly harden at his sudden touch as a small hum abandoned your lips.

Not being able to hide his —very pleasant— surprise, he withdrew his lips from yours; wide eyes staring at you before they travelled down to your still covered breasts.

At his quite cute reaction, you couldn’t help but let out a giggle. “I’m wearing pyjamas, is it really that surprising?”

It shouldn’t be. He knew that very well, considering you had not once worn a bra whenever you slept over at each other’s. However, being so caught up in the moment, he had seemed to forget about that altogether.

Deciding to say nothing, he leaned down instead to trap your bottom lip in between his again, sucking lightly on it as his hands squeezed your breasts in such a way that left you wanting more in a heartbeat.

“Mm… fuck” you moaned ever so quietly when one of his thumbs teased your nipple.

Smiling at your reaction, he moved his kisses all the way down from your mouth to your collarbone, feeling your chest heavily move up and down when his mouth came close to it. Firmly placing his hands on the curve under your breasts, he lifted your body up with ease to adjust you up enough on the mattress so that your still covered breasts were now right under his face.

Not giving you a second to process what had just happened, he lowered his face to your chest, pressing open mouth kisses on the fabric that was still covering it, and getting another moan out of you when his hand went back to teasing one of your breasts under your t-shirt, while his hot mouth sucked on your other one over it.

“Guk, fuck” you gasped, feeling goosebumps form on your skin when his lips travelled down to your bellybutton and his hands abandoned your chest to tug at the end of your top instead.

Biting down on his lip, he glanced up to you before doing anything else. “Is it okay if I?”

Although his question had been left incomplete, you answered him with an eager nod of your head, wanting nothing but to feel his wet mouth on your sensitive buds already.

Tongue wetting his lips in anticipation, he lifted your t-shirt over your chest — leaving it still on yet completely exposing you to his eyes. And it was the way his eyes fixed on your naked chest like the world had just stopped, what managed to make you nervous enough to bring your arms up to cover them.

“I would’ve worn something hotter for you to look at if I had known this was going to happen” you couldn’t help but joke your way out of it.

Jeongguk laughed lightly, leaning down to peck your neck a couple of times, trying to ease your sudden nervousness. “I don’t think anything could ever top this”.

Because although he was sure getting to see you in lingerie would be one hell of a sight, he loved this view the most. He loved looking at you, with absolutely nothing on the way of your body and his eyes.

And just like that, his teasing yet genuine words were the last push you needed to relax under both his touch and stare, allowing him to gently grab your wrists and remove your arms from off your chest. Receiving a small nod from you when his questioning eyes fixed on yours for a second, he planted two short kisses to your mouth before they were back on your chest.

Your back curved up with the first lap of his tongue on one of your nipples, feeling your breathing become heavier when his lips wrapped around it without any kind of warning.

“Jeongguk…” you moaned in what sounded like a plea.

Wanting to hear more of his name coming out as one of your pretty moans, he swirled his tongue harder around your bud, right as his thumb teased the one he had left unattended until then - not many seconds going by before he moved his mouth over to it so he could tease it as well.

“Fuck,” you gasped when his mouth sucked on your skin. “Jeongguk”.

Catching on the way you had pushed your hips slightly up to try and get some friction out of his already hardened length, he found himself giving you one slow thrust that had you both moaning whilst wanting more. Instead of grinding on you again, however, he let go of your breast and let his hand wander down to your pants instead, palming your already wet core through them before he fidgeted with their waistband.

“Please,” you begged.

“Hm?” he hummed against your jaw, as he placed a sweet kiss to it before going to your lips.

“Your fingers” you managed to blurt out, feeling like you were losing your mind over the way his long fingers were now teasingly digging inside your pants. “Jeongguk, please”.

Although he found out right then that he  loved hearing you beg, he wanted the most to make you feel good, which is why he was quick to comply with your wishes. Palming you now over your damp panties, he felt your body shake at the contact — a gasp escaping your mouth when his fingers made the fabric aside and they started rubbing circle motions on your folds.

You felt warmer and way more wet than he had expected, and he felt the sudden urge to run his tongue along your folds to get a taste of your arousal. However, right then, he knew what you wanted, what you needed, were his fingers inside of you. So, he did just that.

“Ah, fuck” you threw your head harder against the mattress when one of his fingers made its way into you.

“You’re so tight...” he breathed out in amazement, feeling himself get harder at the thought of what it would be like to feel your walls tightening around his cock instead.

Slowly shifting his finger inside your responsive walls, he focused on taking in your facial expressions to try and figure out what pace you liked the most — sticking with a faster one after one particular moan had escaped your lips right after he speeded up his pistoning motions.

“Like that?” he asked nevertheless, planting a lingering kiss to your chest.

“Yes” you managed to blurt out, grinding your hips against his finger, being desperate for more.

Catching up on that, he added another digit, hissing at the way your walls had seemed to tighten even more around them. Opening and closing his fingers in scissoring motions as he tried to stretch you out so he could move around with ease, he felt your breathing become heavier by the second, letting out a choked moan when he experimented by curling his digits against your walls.

“Oh, fuck” you whimpered when he curled them once more, managing to hit with them that one spot that could make you come undone in a matter of minutes.

“Feels good?” he asked, admiring your factions as you were too immersed in your own pleasure to remember how to speak.

“Mhm…” you answered with a simple sound instead, mewling when his motions sped up their pace. “So good”.

“Fuck,” he blurted when he felt your juices running down your slit. “Baby, you’re dripping”.

“Jeongguk, don’t stop” you begged when you felt his fingers no longer moving inside of you, desperately grabbing his wrist when you felt them start to pull out. “Don’t stop”.

He reassured you with an intoxicating kiss that made you dizzy. “I wanna eat you out”.

Your breath hitched at his low words, feeling your walls tighten when you opened your eyes to meet his hungry ones. And you didn’t have to even think before you were nodding your head. You needed him, that was all you knew. No matter if it were his fingers, his mouth or his cock, you were desperate for him right then, and would let him have you however he wanted.

Kissing your lips one more time, he felt you whimper against his mouth when his fingers pulled out of you, causing you to close your legs as you tried to replace the way they felt with the friction your thighs could provide you with. It didn’t last long, though, for Jeongguk was quick to pull them open once more so he could remove your pyjama pants along with your panties, licking his lips in anticipation at the perfect sight he got of your dripping folds.

“Fuck, you’re so hot” he rasped, causing your cheeks to burn and another whimper escape your mouth when his thumb brushed faintly over your clit.

“Jeongguk, please” begging seemed to be your only way of communication that night, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the hell out of it.

Pulling you closer to him, he placed your thighs over his shoulders before he finally brought his face up to your heat. Worrying for a split second there, as he was not entirely sure as to what was the right way to do this, he decided to go with his instinct —just like he had done seconds ago when his fingers were inside of you— and begin by slowly sliding his tongue through your folds. The way your body had trembled and a moan of yours had reached his ears as soon as he did, let him know he was doing well.

Delving his tongue in your slit, you instinctively reacted by pulling your hips slightly away from him at the pleasure his ministrations were giving you, and Jeongguk didn’t hesitate before grabbing your thighs and pulling you closer to his mouth once more, sucking on your wet heat before he pushed his tongue inside.

“Oh, God” you whimpered when he started fucking you with his tongue. “J-Jeongguk, yes”.

Moaning loudly when he pushed a finger back into you, you grabbed onto one of your breasts with one hand, as your other one travelled down to entangle your fingers in his already messy hair, earning a muffled moan from him when you pulled lightly at it.

Curling his finger inside you the way he had found out drove you crazy, his mouth let go of your heat, planting a small kiss on it before he licked his way up your folds and stopped by your clit. Although he was not experienced in all this at all, he did know stimulating that small button of yours could work wonders, and he was willing to give it a try. The second he swirled his tongue around it and you cried out in pleasure, he knew it wouldn’t take much longer before you reached your climax if he kept applying pressure on that particular spot.

Tightening his hold on one of your thighs to keep you from moving away as your body writhed beneath him, he added a second finger inside you, sucking on your clit before his tongue came in contact with it again.

“Mm—ah, Jeongguk. Fuck” you cried incoherently, curling your toes as you felt your climax getting closer. “Fuck, d-don’t stop”.

Feeling your walls tighten around his fingers, he could tell as well that you were close. Pushing his digits deeper into you, he managed to hit once more that one spot you needed him the most.

“Right there” you let him know, curving your back when he followed your words and his fingers brushed over it once more. “Oh, righ—fuck!” you whimpered.

“Let go, baby” he rasped, replacing his mouth on your clit with his thumb and pressing down on it in circle motions. “Cum for me”.

The mere sound of that, along with the way his mouth had came in contact with your folds as his fingers kept fucking into you, were all you needed to finally come undone under his touch, crying out his name one last time as his fingers helped you ride out your orgasm.

Closing your eyes and letting the aftershocks take over your body, you moaned lightly at the feel of your boyfriend’s tongue running along your slit, tasting the juices that were dripping down on it and licking you clean before he made his way back next to you, hovering over your figure and kissing you hungrily yet somehow gently. One of his thumbs caressed your hip as his other one came in contact with your chin, drawing circular motions on your skin as you kissed him back — eyes still closed as you felt your body finally steadying.

“Was that alright?” he asked, planting a lingering kiss to your mouth.

Opening your eyes, you looked at him with disbelief written all over them. “It was amazing” you reassured him with a smile nevertheless, allowing his mouth to come in contact with yours once more.

Pulling him closer by wrapping one arm around his neck, you felt something hard poke one of your sides, causing you to undo the kiss and stare down to the outline of his hardened member against the loose fabric of his pants.

“Want me to help you with that again?” you teasingly raised one of your eyebrows, earning a small lip bite from him at the memories of how good you had made him feel not too long ago.

Although it took him a second, he nodded his head. A smile curved up the corners of your lips at that, only for it to be replaced with a frown when his hand stopped you from reaching for his cock.

“Not like that” he shook his head.

You pouted in confusion. “Then how…”

Wetting his lips with his tongue, he leaned down to brush his mouth with yours. “I want to fuck you”.

You felt a wave of heat hit your body at his words, for although he had just seen and touched pretty much all of you, and you had just offered to suck him off, you had thought that would be as far as you’d get, just like that one time in his room when it had led to nothing else.

“W-What?” your voice betrayed you by stuttering a bit.

“I want to fuck you” he repeated, sounding just as determined as he had before. “You don’t want to?”

“No, I want to!” you were quick to clarify. Fuck, you wanted to. “It’s just… You sure you want this? With me?”

“I’ve wanted to have you like this for so long, Y/N. I could not be any more sure” his words sent shivers up your spine. “Besides, sorry to remind you, petal, but you are my girlfriend, so…”

“That I am, huh?” you played along, pulling him down by the neck of his sweatshirt so your lips could meet his. “Then I guess I’ll be good to you tonight and let you have your way with me”.

Smiling contentedly at your words, he wasted no time in crashing his mouth on yours, burying one of his hands under your t-shirt to give one of your breasts a tight squeeze before he tugged at the end of the fabric — eyebrows furrowing slightly and puzzled eyes opening when you held your top down by pressing your arms to your sides, not allowing him to pull it up so he could take it off.

“Wha—”

“It’s unfair you’re about to leave me naked while you’re still fully dressed, don’t you think?” you pointed out with pouty lips.

Rolling his eyes in amusement, he sat up on the mattress so he could take his sweatshirt off, being followed by you right after, as you helped him get rid of it with a smile on your face. Now, you had seen him shirtless once, when you were having food in his room one evening and he stained his t-shirt with soda, proceeding to change into another one right in front of you, but you had seen little to nothing of his torso, as he had turned almost fully around as he did so. And hence now, you could not hide the hungry look on your face as you stared at his toned chest.

“My eyes are up here” he teased you with an amused smile, causing you to send a playful glare his way.

“You didn’t exactly look into my eyes either when you pulled my t-shirt up, so…”

He chuckled at your snarky remark, leaning in to connect his mouth with yours and then tugging once more at the end of your top, just like he had done a minute before. This time, however, you pulled your arms up, letting go of his mouth so he could get rid of that one last piece of clothing of yours that was bothering him so much.

Not wasting any more time, you helped him out of the rest of his clothes as well, giggling against his lips when they needingly crashed on yours once more, with one swift movement lying you down on the mattress as your curious, wandering hands became familiar with each other’s bodies.

A raspy moan escaped Jeongguk’s throat when your hand stroked his member, being followed by a choked one when you tightly wrapped your hand around it, gently moving it up and down his length.

“Fuck, Y/N” he breathed heavily, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he unconsciously thrusted into your hand. “I need you”.

You smiled at the sound of his begging words, leaving a small kiss on his naked shoulder before you released his member from your hold and pushed him on his back, letting him adjust into a more comfortable position as he rested his back against the headboard, before you sunk your knees down on the mattress on each side of his lap — his hands immediately resting on the curve of your waist and a shaky breath coming out of his mouth at the feel of your wet core rubbing ever so faintly against his cock.

“You sure you want this?” you asked.

He eagerly nodded his head, pulling you back to meet his swollen lips. “I want you so bad”.

Feeling a wave of heat rushing through your body at that, you nodded your head, pecking his lips one more time before you reached for your nightstand, opening its small drawer and taking a condom out of it. Going back to your boyfriend, you were met with his rather taken aback expression.

“You knew this was going to happen or…” he questioned with a raised brow and a teasing smile.

You shook your head as a shy smile curved up your lips. “The two idiots I live with filled my drawer with them when we started staying over at each other’s regularly” you explained with a roll of eyes. “They also left a box full of them in my closet”.

Jeongguk laughed wholeheartedly at that. “Well, that’s good to hear. They will come in handy”.

Laughing along with him at his joyful remark, you opened the small envelope in your hands, pulling slightly back so you were no longer hovering over his member and could slide the condom on it with ease — feeling Jeongguk’s breath hitch at both the unfamiliar feel of the thin latex around his length, and the familiar one of your hands on it. Staring back at him once you were done, you stole a sweet kiss from his lips, hearing him moan against your mouth when your hand was once more wrapped around his cock, pumping it a couple more times as you aligned it with your entrance.

And then, locking eyes with him for a second, you kissed him slowly. As slowly as you had started to sink down on him.

Letting go of the kiss as he involuntarily tilted his head back, Jeongguk let out a loud moan, immediately getting lost into what was without a doubt the most pleasure he had ever felt. And he knew right away that your warm, wet walls wrapping tightly around his member, was something he could easily become addicted to.

Staring lovingly at the way his eyes remained closed and his mouth slightly open, you couldn’t help but moan as well as you pushed down lower on him, feeling your walls stretching as you tried to take his entire length.

“Fuck” he rasped when he was completely inside of you.

Tightening his hold on your hips, he pulled you slightly closer to him on his lap, not being able to hold back a blissful chuckle at the way the friction he had just created made him feel.

“What is it?” you wondered with a smile of your own when he leaned in to rest his forehead on your shoulder.

“It feels so good” he let you know with another chuckle.

Joining him on his sudden outburst of joy, you let out a light laugh just as he pressed an open mouth kiss to your shoulder, loving to be the one who got to share this moment with him — to be the one he wanted to share this moment with. Pressing a small kiss to the top of his head, you placed two fingers under his chin to push it up and have him look at you. Once he did, you leaned in to steal a lingering kiss.

“I love you” you said for the third time that night.

He smiled brightly, bringing his lips up to yours and locking them in a slow kiss. “I love you more”.

Opening your mouth to fight him on that, what came out of it instead was a choked moan after he pulled your hips down on his cock.

“Jeongguk, fuck” you let your forehead fall to his shoulder when he pushed his hips up to yours.

Slowly rolling your hips, you met him right as he thrusted up on you once more, causing a small moan to make its way out of his mouth. “Mm… baby…”

With his hands firmly grabbing your hips, you let him guide the pace as you rode him, loosely wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your forehead on his as the two of you grew used to the rhythm he was leading. Closing your eyes, you let your heavy breathings mix as they were now, along with a few moans here and there, the only sound filling your silent bedroom.

“O-Oh, fuck” you gasped when he pulled you down harder on him, somehow managing to push deeper inside of you.

You leaned slightly back when he repeated said action, tilting your head back as well and then humming quietly when you felt his warm lips wrap around one of your breasts, slowly sucking on your nipple, as you had just given him the perfect opportunity to do just that, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and pulling you closer to him as you kept rolling your hips at the same pace he had created for you before.

“Mh—ah! Fuck” he moaned when you pushed your legs up, enough for only half of his cock to be inside of you, to later take it all in again. “Y/N…”

Doing it again, you couldn’t stop the whimper that had just abandoned your mouth as his length had managed to reach that soft spot of yours. Needing more of him, you sped up the pace of your grinding against his hips, feeling him finally let go of your sensitive bud to let his sweaty forehead rest in the crook of your neck as his moans became louder by the second.

“Wait, wait” he demanded breathily, placing his hands on your hips and firmly holding them down so you would stop moving. “Stop”.

“What’s wrong?” you worried, doing as told in a heartbeat.

He shook his head no, quietly letting you know nothing was really wrong, as he buried his face deeper in the crook of your neck and closed his eyes while he tried his best to catch his breath. “Feels too good” he admitted in a raspy voice. “Don’t wanna cum yet”.

You giggled under your breath, finding silent joy on the fact that he hadn’t asked you to stop because he wasn’t enjoying what you were doing, but because he was liking it too much.

Lowering your head to his shoulder, you planted a small kiss on it. “You can cum if you want” you let him know, pressing another soothing kiss to the crook of his neck. “I understand”.

He shook his head no, letting out a heavy sigh as his thumbs drew tender circles on your skin. Maybe it was his ego, or just the fact that he really wanted to make you feel good too, maybe both, what made him refuse to let himself go right then, no matter how bad he wanted to. No matter how hard it was not to.

Smiling sweetly at him, you brought one of your hands up to his damp hair while your other one caressed his back, entangling your fingers in his dark locks as you waited for him to come down from the high he had been about to reach. Letting out a sigh when he felt like he could finally breathe again, he placed his hands on your back to pull you closer — lips looking for yours when your naked chest pressed on his.

Kissing him hard, you opened your mouth for his tongue to meet yours after it had traced your bottom lip, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and trying your best not to roll your hips like you were dying to. Although you didn’t have to hold back for much longer, for with one last kiss and with his warm hands still holding you down on his cock, he pushed it deeper inside of you.

“Fuck” you gasped at the sudden stimulation, taking it as your cue to start moving as well.

“F—Y/N” he moaned when your hips met his in the middle, as they pushed into you once more.

Helping you lead the pace once again, he held you by the waist, digging his fingers into your hot skin and deciding right there, as you moaned his name and your walls tightened around his cock, that he wanted to take over from then on. So, with a swift movement, you were now under him as he laid your back on the mattress — a light moan escaping your lips when he pulled out of you to make you more comfortable on the bed, immediately becoming whiny as you missed his whole length inside of you.

“No, don’t stop fucking me” you pouted, breath hitching when he grabbed your thighs and pulled you closer to where he was sitting down on the mattress. “Jeongguk, please”.

He smiled at both the sound and sight of you right then, really enjoying them one hell of a lot. It was your messy hair, swollen lips and naked chest that moved up and down as you breathed heavily, along with the neediness in your voice as you were begging for him once more, what made it easy for him to decide he liked being in control.

Catching your bottom lip in his mouth as he adjusted himself in between your legs, he heard you beg one more time against his lips. However, just as you did, he felt one of your hands desperately go down to your center so you could feel something inside of you. Only you didn’t get to, for his hand grabbed your wrist right before your fingers could find their way inside, managing to grab your other one as well and pin them over your head as he pushed his hips down enough for the head of his cock to align with your wet center.

“I’m the one fucking you tonight, petal”.

You moaned at the sound of his words being murmured against your neck — the way such sweet pet name had been said with such a lustful tone right then, making you somehow even more needy for him.

“Please,” you breathed out, overwhelmed by the way his mouth teased the sensitive skin of your neck and he rubbed his cock against your core, not quite pushing into you yet. “Jeongguk, please. I need you”.

“What was that?” he wondered teasingly.

“I need you” you repeated. “Jeongguk, please. Please fuck m—ah!” your head was thrown back in pleasure when he slammed his entire length into you, just the way you were so badly begging for.

Hungrily kissing your mouth, he muffled the moans that came out of it with each thrust of his hips — letting go of your lips as a low groan made its way out of his throat when your walls wrapped tighter than he had felt them do that evening, as you were getting closer to reach your high.

Letting his forehead fall to your shoulder, he muffled a cry against your skin as you wrapped your legs around his waist and your walls tightened once more against his cock, knowing right then he wouldn’t be able to last much longer.

“Harder” you pleaded breathily, arching your back as he wasted no time in complying. “F-Fuck, Jeongguk. Ah!”

“Y/N” he rasped your name, feeling his inevitable release about to hit. “Fuck, I’m g-gonna cum”.

Not being able to form any kind of coherent sentence right then, you settled for an eager nod of your head to let him know it was okay. Digging your nails on the wet skin of his back, you scratched your way down on it when he once again managed to find that one soft spot of yours that had you crying out in a second.

“Right there,” you desperately let him know, feeling your legs start to give up when he kept hitting it with each of his thrusts. “Fuck, right there”.

“A-Ah, Y/N, I’m—” he stumbled upon his own words, not being able to hold on anymore given how much tighter you were getting now around him. “Mm… I’m gon—ah!”

Groaning one last time, he let himself go like he had fought so hard not to — your pulsating walls around his cock finally driving him over the edge.

Although overwhelmed by the intense wave of pleasure running through his body, beginning to feel dizzy even, he did not slump down on you to catch his breath like he so badly needed to. Instead, he kept riding his own orgasm — his thrusts becoming sloppier yet rougher as he greedily tried to drive you over the edge, too.

And it was only a matter of seconds before you did.

“J-Jeongguk, I’m—ahh!” you cried out one last time, feeling your shaky legs give up as you came undone beneath him.

Helping you ride out your orgasm as well, Jeongguk whimpered at the overstimulation, finally letting his body slump down on yours and burying his face on your neck, as he felt his body tremble with each spasm of your walls around him. Feeling his hot, heavy breath hit your sweaty neck as the two of you desperately tried to catch your breath, you entangled once more your fingers on the hair at the back of his head — fingertips ever so tenderly moving in circular motions in a soothing way.

Closing your eyes for a couple of seconds, you felt his thumb caress one of your sides, later having you opening your eyes when he pressed two brief kisses to the crook of your neck and a breathy laugh of his was soon to follow right after.

“What’s so amusing?” you wondered, feeling the corners of your mouth curve up when another chuckle of his reached your ears.

“That was amazing” he confessed, causing your face to burn as your smile grew wider. Pressing one of his arms down on the mattress, he held his body up so he could lock his eyes with yours. “Was it okay for you?”

You bit your bottom lip, shyly looking away for a split second before your eyes focused back on his. “Jeon Jeongguk,” you called his name in a serious tone.

“Hm?”

“You made me cum twice” you reminded him, loving the sight of his already flushed cheeks turning even more pink than they already were. “I think that speaks for itself”.

He let out a shy laugh, tilting your chin up as he brought his lips down to yours and kissing you sweetly for a good couple of seconds, later moving his lips over to press an open mouth kiss to your cheek before he finally pulled out of you. Removing the condom from his member, he crawled to the edge of the bed and reached for the small bin you kept under your desk next to your bed, bringing it closer to him and throwing the used latex into it before he went back to lie on his stomach next to you — blissfully letting you kiss his lips once more like you had just reached up to.

“I’ll get better at it” he promised, earning a quiet giggle from you.

“Well, we do have three years to make up for, so I guess we’ll both get a lot of practice” you pointed out coyly.

“And we don’t have to worry about running out of condoms anytime soon” he reminded you, amusement clear in his voice.

Throwing your head back on the mattress, you allowed a throaty laugh to escape your mouth, later looking back at him and bringing your hand up to cup one of his cheeks. Gently caressing it a couple of times, you puckered your lips up for him to come closer and cut the space between your mouth — smiling softly when he complied in a heartbeat, slowly sucking on your bottom lip.

“I love you” he mumbled on your lips, loving the way he was finally able to say it freely, knowing you felt the same, like he had been aching you to all along.

“I love you more” you repeated his previous answer with a smile.

Kissing your lips chastely, he shook his head no, tilting his head towards the flowers that were taking over your desk. “Those are proof that I love you more”.

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “Those are proof that you’ve loved me for longer, it’s got nothing to do with the amount of it”.

“Mhm…” he nodded his head, letting you know with both the tone of his voice and the look on his eyes that you were not convincing him. “Whatever works for you, petal” his lips turned into a smile as he let his back slump down on the bed.

“Yah,” you gently shoved him off, feeling your heart skip a beat when you heard him laugh.

Pulling you to his chest by wrapping an arm around you, he planted a kiss to your forehead. Although you had sighed contentedly after resting your face on his chest, he didn’t miss the way your mind was quite absent right then.

“What’s wrong?” his eyebrows knitted together, growing somewhat more confused after following with his eyes to where yours were staring at and having them fall on the flowers.

“Nothing” you smiled, unconsciously running your fingers along his chest. “I just wish these particular ones would last forever”.

Smiling as he adoringly stared at you, he hugged you closer to his body. “I can get you all the flowers you want”.

At that, your head snapped up so you could lock eyes with him. The mischievous smile that had just formed on your mouth as you cockily raised one of your eyebrows, letting him know right away he was about to regret what he had just said. “You’ll be like my flower daddy then?”

Yup, there it was, the regret.

“Anddd, you ruined it” he lamented.

Letting his head fall back down on the mattress, he closed his eyes as he tried his best to fight the smile that was threatening with taking over his face, knowing he would fail miserably at it when he heard you chuckle next to him — finally giving in to it and laughing as well as you peppered open mouth kisses around his face.

Although popular, loud, chaotic, bubbly, impulsive as hell, and just the complete opposite to what he was, he could not be any happier it was you the one his heart had chosen to fall irretrievably in love with.

[cinnamonest]

Zhongli (Genshin Impact) - Yandere Profile

This man's voice has a POWER over me I SWEAR

tws: yandere, mentions of n/sfw

tws (under the cut): very ddlg-esque vibes, sorta? infantilization, noncon

I'm sorry I get such strong daddy vibes it unintentionally went in this direction, hope that isn't too bad lmao

I’m working on all the prompts I’ve gotten in! I’ve gotten a few so I’ll be working on those.

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What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

He's one that might be likely to misunderstand his feelings at first, think that he sees himself as a mentor or maybe even an authority figure, someone to guide you and teach you and serve as a dependable partner to your travels. As time goes on, and he begins to recognize how utterly flustered he gets around you, he's forced to acknowledge the actual feelings he has.

While some yanderes with a slight aloofness or pride to them get worse when in love, such as Childe or Kaeya, his drops completely. You bring out a softer side of him, really, one that's protective and tender and loving, so very loving, wanting to be around you, with you. He's certainly an obsessive, protective type, ultimately allowing his protective nature to get the better of him as he demands to know everything you've done, account for your location at every moment, constantly keep track of your habits, inquire about very personal details of your life. If he realizes you're bothered by it, he might draw back a bit, but he's convinced that that's just your perception, that it's necessary, truly, and not at all unusual.

Pet names. Particularly fond of love, darling, and angel. Sweet things that represent what you mean to him -- something precious, something to represent his adoration and idolization.

The primary form of delusion comes from a perception of you. He's obsessive, and idolizes you to an extent. He perceives you as pure, innocent, angelic. The thing is, this applies regardless of whether or not you actually are. If you are, it will solidify the idea, but even if you're not, he will find a way to see you so, anyway. No matter how wise you are, no, you're naive. No matter how capable you are, no, you're weak and fragile. No matter how experienced you may be, no, you're pure. He can always keep this delusion running by bringing into account age and comparison - you'll never be as strong as him, so you might as well be frail and weak. You'll never have lived as long as him, so really, do you think there's that much difference between you and a child, when compared to someone like himself?

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

Actually highly likely, and pretty quickly. As he observes you, it becomes very clear to him how very fragile you are, how naive you are, you are quite literally too pure, too angelic, to be living in this world with such beings as humans. Fragile, beautiful little things have a place where they belong - protected. Where do we put fragile, beautiful things? We put them behind glass, behind ropes, in pretty cages, in secluded rooms. It's only natural that you, too, need a similar environment.

He's one of the ones that will... Elegantly kidnap you, as odd as it sounds. He's not a brute that would do something horrendous like knocking you out or drugging you, no, he'll find an excuse for you to come to his abode, invite you in, and you'll walk in none the wiser. Only after your in, and the doors close, does he guide you to your new room, calmly explaining that he's come to the realization that you're too fragile to continue your journey, and ought to simply give up on your travels. He knows you'll be upset at first. Like a child being denied, you'll get pouty, moody, you might cry, you might lash out at him. It's predictable. He'll dry your eyes and calm you down, brushing off any harsh words you may have, holding your wrists in his hands when you try to push him away, softly reassuring you that it will all be alright, that you're safe now, and you'll learn to accept this with time.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

He would want something... elaborate. He's a man with taste for the most beautiful of things, including yourself, and he won't settle for something as simple as a chain or ropes. No, that would be too simple and brutish, and you, one of the finest things in his life, deserve something equally beautiful and delicate.

He's one of the ones that would go to a great deal of preparation for your arrival. He'd have a room prepared just for you, very ornate, beautifully tailored to you -- the walls your favorite color, the bed made of the same material as your old one, and the whole room completely filled with things you're certain you never even told him you liked. Clothes that fit perfectly to your body. It's frightening how perfect it is, because you know he had to go out of his way to acquire the information to achieve such perfection, but you have no idea how.

Everything about it elegant and detailed, right down to the series of ornate locks on the door. They're some of the sturdiest available, made with essentially unbreakable metal alloys and the most intricate lock systems to date. The windows don't open, and he'd certainly find some way to ensure escape through them isn't an option -- perhaps metal bars, perhaps an unbreakable glass substitute, perhaps merely locating your new home right on the edge of one of Liyue's most beautiful mountains, so that if you were to go out the window you'd plummet to the earth below. He's a bit delusional, but he's not stupid, and he will think through every possibility. Every little detail he needs to keep you safe and confined.

He's certain that, perfect as it is, this room is all you will ever need to be happy. Should you desire anything else, he can bring it to you. You'll never have to leave.

So it goes without saying that it would be exceptionally difficult to escape him. You'd have to find a way through the locks, for which your best bet would be to get some hair pins or tiny writing utensils. Even if you managed it, though, which would frankly be a very difficult feat, you'll have to deal with staying free. Zhongli has ties to the people of Liyue as a whole, and needless to say, he has eyes everywhere. You can't risk appearing in the harbor area, there will be far too many people who would immediately report you, and you'd just be walking right to him anyhow. The surrounding areas also have ties to him, so you'd want to try and reach Mondstadt, as far as it is, which is a difficult travel by foot all alone. You won't get far. He's faster, he's wiser, and he will find you long before you could ever hope to make it there.

However, he's not quite as angry as some yanderes would be about it. He doesn't take your escape personally, no, he blames himself, only calculating his own mistakes as to how it happened. He sees you as something like... a little runaway pet, so naive and dull that you don't know any better than to go wandering off. Or perhaps like a child, just sheepishly curious and wanting to explore, not knowing the dangers of the world. Or, perhaps...

"I haven't been giving you enough attention, have I? That's why you pulled this little act of rebellion... you're hurt by my negligence and wanted to be reassured of my care for you. I'm so sorry... I understand now, love. This was my fault. I've been so caught up with work... I'll delegate some tasks to my workers, and I'll be able to spend more time with you from now on, alright? Don't worry, I'm not angry, I'll take full responsibility. I'll be sure to make it up to you... now, let's go home."

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

Much like Childe or Venti or anyone who has been around as long as he has, you really don't stand a chance. He's an incredibly perceptive man. There's not much to say on the matter, as any attempts will be quickly shut down.

He'd find it amusing, really. Like a child trying to lie, but the evidence is all over their face and hands - it's that obvious to him. It's cute enough that he almost hates having to discipline you for it, but, you have to learn.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He wants his little angel to be safe - and unfortunately, you, being so naive and empty headed, don't always know what's best for you. He knows rules can be hard to follow perfectly, but they're there to keep you safe.

Extremely strict, will want to monitor every moment of your life, every little movement you take, and will insist on watching over you in every task. He'll pick out everything you wear, everything you eat.

Occasionally, if you ask very sweetly, he may take you out for walks in Liyue. Honestly, he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy taking you to what he knows are the finest locations, shops with the highest level of craftsmanship, restaurants with a high price tag and reputable food. He enjoys showing off his refined tastes and discerning selective abilities. And honestly? There's a certain... Powerful feeling to knowing you're made aware of the costs when he makes high purchases in front of you... even if you don't realize he's not always actually the one paying for it, or that he forgot mora again but promises the owner to pay later - but he'll make sure you don't know that. You hear the numbers, and your eyebrows raise, your eyes widen. You'd nearly faint if that total was on your responsibility, and he knows that. Which is why he'll simply smile at you, and tell you you're worth every last Mora. He'll buy you nearly anything you may desire. It seems like leniency, but in reality, it's his subtle way of locking control and dependency over you, making you respect him, making you love him.

"Don't worry, love. It's not a lot... Not to me, at least. Even if it were, my angel only deserves the best, no?"

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Oh dear. Again, he's very strict, and wants to monitor everything you do, every little aspect of your life. He decides what you eat, portioning your meals to make sure you're eating enough, he worries about you going hungry during your travels, but luckily you'll never have to worry about that again. If you have a sweet tooth, he'll sigh and worry about your teeth and health, but he'll make sure to account for a little bit of sugar in your day, and will even pick up little treats from some of the most reputable places in Liyue.

He picks out clothes for you with each day. They're not... Normal clothes, per se. Certainly not what you'd normally wear on your travels. And it's not like anyone will see you except him - which is exactly why you'll have clothes he would never want anyone else to see you in. Frilly, lacey things, somehow both highly sexualized but also incredibly infantile, soft pinks, baby blues, gentle off-whites. They accentuate the curves of your body so perfectly, while just barely letting him see the parts of you normally kept hidden.

You'll have a schedule - a bath time, a bedtime, a wake-up time. He's weak to your requests, though, and may let you stay up a little late every now and then, or sleep in just a bit, if you make that soft pouting face and beg. He'll insist on bathing you, dressing you, so that you don't have to - and can't even if you wanted to - lift a finger even to wash yourself or put your clothes on.

He has a set of rules for you, very simple ones he hopes you can easily follow. No trying to leave. No doing anything dangerous. No talking to strangers when you go out. You must hold his hand whenever you're walking together, don't go wandering off.

He'll feel ashamed of the thought for a while, but eventually he'll cave and give into the desire, no, the security precaution, of a nice little collar for you. It's not too embarrassing, no, he went out of his way to find one that was delicate, almost like a necklace, made with fine materials, the engraving only visible up close. If you look closely, though, it clearly bears his name.

Breaking the rules is expected, he anticipates it. You're not the brightest, he might even view it as a mistake. A benefit is that you can easily pass it off as simply forgotten, or an accident. Hence, he's not too harsh - normally. He'll sigh, forgive you, and pat your head, contemplating how to prevent your access in the future.

Perhaps you wriggled out of his hand and ran off while walking? You were just excited, distracted, like a child. He might be able to procure a small leash, one that wouldn't be immediately obvious or embarrassing, to attach to your collar. Perhaps some cuff-like links to latch your arm to his.

You forgot the rule about not handling the kitchen knives and cut yourself? He'll have to get some kind of lock and simply keep them safely away from you. No big deal. Any measures are worth your safety.

If you push the limits, or have a defiant attitude, he might reach the point of punishment. As for not-unwholesome things, this would usually include taking away privileges, such as walks or sweets, but overall, punishment will mostly come in more impure forms.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Not too much to say here - he has connections. He doesn't need to dirty his own hands. For all his supposed humility, if he truly dislikes someone, they're no more significant than an insect to him. He has no reservations about ridding the world of people who, in his mind, are obviously trying to deceive you, abuse you, corrupt you.

Thankfully, he is very capable of keeping a neutral face, even when he feels laughter building up. It would probably look strange if he were smiling over the newest body to come into his parlor.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

It's a slow buildup. He views restraint as a virtue, and looks down upon those who lack control over their own tempers. He's a man who strives to meet his own standards of character, and that very much applies to self control and ability to maintain a controlled demeanor, even when he feels a bit of frustration due to you being intentionally and deliberately defiant.

It's his responsibility to be a good role model for you and make sure you understand how to behave. However, in the end, he's very keen on properness and rules. If you have a tendency towards brattiness and pushing your limits, you may drive him to a boiling point.

However, even when expressing his anger, he's remarkably controlled. It's very mature, really. Nonetheless, he will have you shivering and tearful with his voice alone, booming with that depth that reverberates off the walls, that vibrates against your very core. His true anger is one that can strike fear even in the most courageous individuals - he's terrifying when he wants to be, fierce and intimidating, a sort of power just eminates from him.

Nonetheless, it's quick, he calms down very quickly, wipes the tears from your eyes, and sighs.

"I do hate having to be firm with you... but I can't have you thinking you can just act however you want. You understand that, don't you?"

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Both? It's difficult to describe. You're an angel to him. You're the finest work of art, the most intricate creation, the kind of person whose body and likeness deserves to be preserved in art and tradition, one of those women who should be renowned for beauty even centuries long after you're gone from the earth. It's almost goddess-like. At the same time, there's a beautiful, tragic duality to your essence, he thinks. A fragility and a dependency that leaves you in need, but an inherent status of perfection that makes you deserve the utmost perfect of care. You need to be coddled, cared for, protected, but you deserve it. Like a deity incarnated into a mere fragile human form, a queen that needs support to retain her grace.

Unlike some, he doesn't view his care and protection as some kind of favor that should be repaid with your gratitude, no, really, he is grateful that he is the one who is even deserving of being your caretaker, your provider, your lover.

Even if he is the one who determined that he deserves that role.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

He's convinced that he can show you that he is your protector, your lover, that it's fate itself that has locked you together, not just his own will.

And he is, above all else, patient. One of the most patient you could encounter. You think a year is a long time? It's nothing to him. A century for you? More than a lifetime. For him? Nothing. He can and will wait, as long as it takes, and he will never falter in his continual care. He'll remind you frequently, he'll shower you in affection, but if you don't return it? It's not that bad. He has all the time in the world to fix you.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Moraless Sugar daddy

But in all seriousness, he is definitely of the gift-giving love language. He sees beautiful things, and beautiful things make him think of you! It's sweet, he thinks. So many little things he sees throughout his day make him think of you, and he has to have all of them, see your face when he gives them to you. He likes making you happy, for one, but he'd be lying if he said there wasn't a sort of satisfactory pride he gets from the power dynamic of it all. He wants to be the sole source of provision in your life, he wants your dependency.

If we're talking prior to the events of the game, it will be even more extreme. He treats it like it's truly nothing, throwing around massive purchases, seemingly as if he's not thinking about it at all. But he is - rest assured, he's taking it into consideration, at least, that is, how it will affect your attitude and perception of him.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

On the reserved side. He'd never conduct himself improperly in public, of course. It's out of the question. He cares about proper behavior and public image, and he'd never behave in a vulgar manner.

Even in private, he's certainly one of the ones that struggles with a certain guilt. To some degree, he would feel like you're so innocent and pure that he doesn't want to corrupt you. He goes through stages. First, he'll lie to himself, telling himself that the feelings he has for you are simply protective, platonic, a natural sense of responsibility for you. That becomes more and more difficult to convince himself of, the more excited he becomes around you, the more he finds his eyes drawn to whatever bits of skin are exposed on your body, finding himself drifting off to impure thoughts, trying to push them away. 

Second, once he's forced to acknowledge the true nature of these feelings, he'll simply practice restraint, something he's rather good at in this area. He tries, he really does. He tells himself he can't do something so impure, that it would violate you, that he should be ashamed of himself for it. It becomes more and more and more difficult to restrain himself with time, the feelings rising and the thoughts become more difficult to push away, eventually entertaining the fantasies in his head in an attempt to rid himself of the urge in real life. It doesn't work, no, it only makes the urges worse, and he can't be around you without his body nearly commanding him to do something. And finally, he'll take a different stance entirely, telling himself that, no, it's not going to corrupt you, rather, it's taking care of you. If he really wants to love you, really wants to care for all of your needs, then surely that would include your physical needs, and therefore, really, it would be wrong of him not to help you.

As that shift in viewpoints goes on, he'll become more and more bold, hands lingering just a little longer, face coming just a little closer. It's a slow build of tension, just waiting to boil over. 

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

He understands you're nervous. Again, no matter how experienced you are, somehow in his head he makes it out to be insignificant. Even if you've had other relationships, he convinces himself - and tries to convince you - that they were inadequate, they didn't care about you, not like he does. And he'll treat it as that -- any resistance you put up is nervousness, nothing more, nothing less. He'll reassure you a million times that you won't feel pain, that he'll be gentle, that you'll feel good, even if his size and strength frankly is rather intimidating regardless of experience. He'll keep cooing in your ear, softly whispering reassurance, softly running hands over your skin, holding you in place as the last inch stretches you apart. 

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Infantilization

Again, no matter how smart, experienced, and capable you may be, you're none of those things to him. You're a fragile, little thing. He has to take care of you at all times. It may not be evident at first, and he himself likely doesn't fully realize it, but there is something highly sexual to this for him. Caring for you puts him in a position of dominance, control. It gives him access to your privacy, dressing you up, fingers running over your skin, bathing you, watching your skin glisten. He'll talk to you in this way, too, often softly, remarking every little way in which you need him, and even condescendingly so. He wants you to be his, not only in a sense of love, but of possession.

Oral

Primarily giving. Even on its own, he loves the taste, but the effect it has on you makes it that much better. He loves anything that forces you to depend on him entirely for pleasure, that puts you at his mercy. And he'll be torturous about it too, restraining your arms and legs so you can't control anything, hold your hips down so you can't roll into him, so that only he can determine exactly how much pressure and speed you get. And he won't rush it, no, he'll go so slowly it's torturous, and telling you very simply that if you want any more, you'll have to beg.

Edging

For a variety of reasons. The power trip is as exhilarating as it is pleasurable, but he also loves watching your body writhe. Each little muscle that moves under the flesh when your arms strain against his hand holding your wrists together, the convulsing of your stomach muscles, the way your toes curl and legs spasm and the sweet little whimpers you make when he draws back just short of your high. He's mastered watching your reactions, knowing exactly when to stop, even if you try to mask it. He'll want you to tell him, though, nonetheless, tell him when you're close, if for nothing else but the sense of you obeying his commands.

Collaring

Similarly to infantilization, it gives him something of a sense of control, of possession. He loves seeing his name engraved on it, marking the whole of your being with his ownership. In his somewhat rare moments of roughness, he'll want to pull on it, use it to draw you towards him, in a moment of your defiance, in particular. If you're being mouthy, whiny, disobedient, and you finally make him snap, especially if you try to walk away from him, he'll yank you back with force, pulling you close to him, and when the force of it shuts you up, changes your demeanor, forces you to acknowledge your submission - the satisfaction he'll get from that is incomparable.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

As much as he likes the idea, to him, you're already like a child, naive and fragile. Could your body even handle a pregnancy, a birth? He'd likely try to avoid it, but in the end, if it happened by accident anyway, rest assured you'd be getting the best care of any woman to ever be pregnant in Teyvat, and he'd do everything in his power to ensure you were always comfortable, taking his caretaking to another level, almost never even letting you get up, insisting you stay still and calm and needy.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

He'd be one to pull the "it doesn't hurt you as much as it does me" line, but really, even if he refuses to admit it to his own self, having you bent over his lap is just as much for his own enjoyment as it is a disciplinary measure. It's more humiliating than it is painful -- he'd hold back, afraid of hurting you with his strength, but taking in every little flinch and whimper you make as he brings his hand down on your ass, keeping your head pressed down, kneading at the flesh. He'd insist it's the most effective punishment measure, but you can feel the hard-on digging into your stomach. The worse the behavior, the worse the beating, but every time, after it's over, he'll hold you upright, wiping the tears from your eyes and asking you if you learned you lesson, if you intend to do it again, and smiling when you insist you won't.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Your skin. It's beautiful, and he loves the way that light from the moon and sun look on your naked form. He loves the way your skin feels, soft and delicate, smooth, so paper thin and fragile, and so, so deliciously prone to showing marks from the slightest of harm - a simple smack can make the plump flesh darkened and reddened, the lightest suckling will leave beautiful hickeys all down your neck and chest. There are so many ways to mark his property, to stake a visible claim all over you, it's irresistible.

He also will go out of his way, when picking out all the things he wants you to wear, to find colors that best go with your skin tone, in a contrasting sense - particularly lacey, sheer things that contrast very well, so he can see your soft flesh perfectly defined against the little lace patterns.

[beels-burger-babe]

Hi! I saw that requests are open, if it's not a problem could i request Satan reacting to MC coming to him with new books every time they hang out because they want him to read them out loud since they have a short attention span? Like, Satan would be reading said book while MC is drawing or doing something else.

I have adhd and reading books that are not digital is a nightmare for me, so him reading out loud would be pretty relaxing.

Btw it's up to you if you wanna do headcanons or a oneshot!

ABSOLUTELY!!! So this is actually my first request and I'm super excited because as someone who also has ADHD I can totally relate! I hope you like it!

Too Still, Too Quiet

GN!MC with ADHD Summary: Satan notices that MC seems to have a hard time hanging out with him; he's determined to get to the bottom of the issue and find a solution.

After living in the House of Lamentation for nearly a year, you've grown accustomed to the many quirks that came with living with the seven Lords of the Devildom. You had gotten close to the brothers, and as they picked up on your symptoms for your ADHD, they each found their own ways of being helpful. Lucifer had always known, as it was written on your file, and made a point of sending you subtle reminders throughout the day to keep you organized and on task. He brushed it off saying that it merely prevented him from having to go after you later on if you forgot or did something incorrectly.  Mammon was no stranger to having a hard time prioritizing and staying focused and took pride in lending you some of the different tools he used to fidget with. After all, his human deserved the best, and you couldn’t get any better than using something that belonged to the great Mammon. Leviathan’s room provided a relaxing atmosphere with just enough stimulation to keep your brain satisfied enough to focus on your school work and tasks. The sounds of the aquarium provided a fantastic back ground noise, and Levi always took caution in wearing his headphones when he gamed if you were working in his room to not add to the distractions around you.  Asmodeus had a good eye for when you were growing too frustrated by the regular chaos that tended to fill the House of Lamentation and would pull you aside to his room for some self-care to help calm you down. There was nothing like a head message and face mask from Asmo as he happily gossiped about the latest drama in The Fall to help ground you.  Beelzebub, on the other hand, was great at noticing when you were starting to grow restless. In those moments, he’d not-so-subtly state that he was heading to the gym and it’d sure be nice if he had someone to join in before very obviously making eye contact with you. At first you had a hard time figuring out a good balance between a work out that satisfied Beel while also not killing you. But now the two of you easily worked with each other until you were both sweating, smiling, and happy. He also made sure to remind you to eat through out the day whenever you went to a round of hyper-fixation on something. Belphegore wasn’t particularly helpful when it came to your forgetful spells or disorganization as, being the Avatar of Sloth, he would normally encourage such behavior. Instead, he did what he did best, and helped put your wandering mind to ease whenever you were trying to sleep.  The only person, and not for a lack of trying, that you just couldn’t seem to find a flow with was Satan. 

He was too quiet and organized for you to be able to stand being around him for long periods of time. You had tried hanging out with him a couple of times, but after a few minutes of him silently reading or him explaining whichever text he was currently studying, you would grow restless and distracted.  Which brought you to your current situation.  Satan had invited you to come relax in his room with him, as the rest of his brothers were dealing with the aftermath of their most recent dilemma. It wasn’t so bad at first, some light conversation here, some banter there, but soon your mind started to wander off to the spines of the endless books around you as you pondered on what might be inside them.  “MC?”  Your attention snapped back onto Satan, who stood frowning at you. You blushed and scratched the back of your neck. “Oh, I’m sorry. I got a little distracted. What were you saying?”  Satan sighed as his frown deepened.  “I’ve noticed that tends to happen a lot with you. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” He quickly amended raising his hands in defense. “But it seems particularly bad when you’re with me. You get quite jittery and I don’t think you’ve ever stayed in my room longer than ten minutes,” for a second his eyes almost looked sad as he looked over at you, “Is it something I’m doing? Do I make you uncomfortable?”  “No! Satan, no, it’s not you I promise!” You quickly reassured moving closer to him. “It’s just well I have a hard time staying still and focusing on things and when it gets too quiet it bothers me because then my brain is like hyper fixating on the smallest noises in the room, even though I’m supposed to be focusing on what you’re saying or my work, and it’s like, is that a page a turning or a something scratching at the door and then I start wondering about what kind of things could be in here and-”  “MC.” Satan cut off, though he didn’t seem annoyed. In fact, his eyes now gleamed with a sense of understanding. “Do you happen to have ADHD?”  “Yeah, I thought you all knew? Lucifer told all of you when I arrived right? That’s why everyone is so-” you moved your hand in a vague gesture that even you weren’t entirely sure what it was meant to symbolize.  Satan huffed and shook his head. “Lucifer did no such thing. I imagine he would’ve told us if it came to be a big enough problem. But you know him. He takes pride in being the only one to know certain things. “  You frowned and tilted your head in confusion. “But then what about the others? They’ve all been helping me out for months now.”  Satan placed a hand under his chin in thought, “They most likely took note of individual symptoms and decided to help. Belphegore, and possibly even Leviathan and Asmodeus may have put two and two together, but the rest probably think you’re just forgetful or that you’re restless,” he smiled reassuringly at you, “but that’s besides the point. Now that I know, I can help make you feel more at ease when you’re with me. What’s the main issue that you-” “It’s too quiet!” You quickly cut off, causing Satan to raise an eyebrow. “When we’re in here relaxing and you’re just reading and I’m supposed to be reading too, it’s too quiet. I try to focus on the book, but my mind keeps jumping around to other things. And I want to read all those books you’ve recommended to me, I really do, but I start feeling bored after a little while and next thing I know I jumping sentences without noticing and then I’ve gone an entire chapter with no recollection of what I’ve just read because I wasn’t really paying attention to the words at all I was just flipping pages without realizing it, so I have to go back and re-read the whole thing all over again!” You throw your hands in the air in frustration. “Is exhausting and makes me feel dumb, so I get up and do something else instead.”  Satan nodded, taking in every word carefully. “Well first of all,” you yelped as he flicked your forehead.  “Ouch! What was that for?!”  The demon smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. “For calling yourself dumb. Just because you have more difficulty with literature than others, does not mean you’re dumb. You simply require a different reading strategy than what most consider “usual”, and I believe I have a solution that would suit both of us,” you perked up at his words. “I recommended those books to you because I greatly enjoyed them myself. How about, when you’re here, you can choose a book you want to read, and I will read it out loud for you? That should help, yes?”  A light airy warmth filled your chest at just how accommodating Satan was willing to be. “But what about the books that you were reading?”  The demon shrugged, “I can always read them in my spare time.” He moved closer to take your hands into his, silently demanding your full attention. “I want to spend more time with you and get to know you better. I want you to be comfortable and be able to be yourself when you’re around me without feeling stressed. This is honestly the least I could do for you, MC.”  Blushed rushed to your cheeks as you felt your heart flutter in your chest. You awkwardly cleared your throat and took your hands back, rubbing them on your legs as you noted how clammy they were. “I think I-I would like that a lot” The grin on Satan’s face widened as he took one of your hands and lead you deeper into the bookshelves of his room. “Splendid! Then why don’t we get try right away? Take you pick, MC, I will be your narrator for the evening and for as long as you wish.”  ***** I hope this was something along the lines of what you were looking for! It is a little short, but I hope you like it. Thank you so much for the request, I loved it! Requests are OPEN and I would definitely love to complete some more if anyone has any ideas or prompts that they’d like me to complete. Just send in an ask and, if I feel comfortable with it, I’ll do my best to make a fic for it!

[bonny-kookoo]

Rabbit Boy | JJK x Reader | 🔞

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Wordcount: 10.3k (Long)

Genre: Romance, Friends/strangers to lovers, Smut, BDSM because I'm making that a genre now

Tags/Warnings: BDSM themes (please I'm begging you stop reading my shit if it makes you uncumfortable), mentions of restrainment, light shibari, edging, orgasm denial (very mild), Subspace, Domspace because yes thats a thing, Dom/sub dynamics, Biting, Oral (m and f receiving), riding, and not the horseback kind if you know what I mean, protected sex yes, we love an organized household, there's just so much sweet filth istg

Summary: Jungkook is wild, untamed, and doesn't really commit to anyone for long. But maybe, you're his only exception in this world. Maybe, you're really that perfect partner he's been looking for.

Jungkook likes to think of himself as an artist.

Sure, if people knew exactly what the young man does in his freetime (or as a side job, don't judge, we all want to make money out of our hobbies stop lying to yourself), they would surely look at him differently.

But he's an artist, nonetheless.

Technically, Jungkook also doesn't need to do what he does simply for the money. No, his main job pays very well- considering that he's one of the top elite in his genre of games. He doesn't just merely play and win a game; Jungkook, just like most things he touches, claims complete ownership of the match he's fighting. It's a well known fact that he's someone who likes things for himself. He loves control, craves to lead, and hates to be belittled.

Oh and yeah- financially, investing in an indie-game three years back had also done his bank account some good.

Now, at an age where he can be fully considered a man, and not a boy anymore, he craves control in different aspects of life- and love.

Jungkook has a problem however.

He's wild.

Not in the way one might think he is (although several people could argue that yes, that's also the case in bed..) but generally. He loves to control- but he hates to be tied down.

And a mindset like that doesn't work well with relationships.

He's had them before, don't get him wrong. He's had numerous in the past, but they all either broke apart because he would hold that particular desire back, making him antsy and moody, or he would welcome his partners into his world, and become uncomfortable with the way things would progress.

No, he doesn't want to experiment. He knows exactly what he wants, and if that means he's 'close-minded' and a bad person, then so be it for him.

He never liked the constant company in his apartment anyways.

"Ah, I've seen her before. She's usually a regular for Yoongi though." Taehyung says, checking a name for Jungkook, who's doodling on a napkin while he waits for his new appointment to show up. "I see. I forgot that Yoongi took some days off recently- that's probably why she's now under your hand." He explains, and Jungkook huffs, his blonde hair tickling his cheek.

"So I'll have to adjust? I mean, Yoongi's style is pretty different from mine." The young man says, not looking up. He simply continues his little sketch of braided hair, while the lanky guy behind the counter clicks away on his laptop.

"Probably? I can't check the logs since they're private, but from what I know Yoongi only did the usual with her." he explains, shrugging as he looks at his friend and colleague. "I can re-schedule her to Hoseok if you want?" He asks, and Jungkook, after finishing his drawing, lets the pen fall and stretches.

"Yeah, that would probably be best. Wouldn't know what to do if she drops- rather not have him rip my head off, thanks." He says, before he gets up.

"Ah- you're still coming over tonight right? Y/N said she's gonna cook for us." He says, and Jungkooks body shivers a little.

Your name is nothing new to him, but the reaction to it most certainly was. You're a friend of Yoongi and Hoseok, having joined in on their gaming nights a few months ago after Yoongi had insisted you couldn't stay alone on a christmas day. Jungkook had never really asked why you were alone in the first place, but he had never really cared much for it either. Sure, you were an absolute gem to look at; technically absolutely his type, but he had early on decided not to pursue anything at all with you. He knew friendship wouldn't stay friendship with you, his own hunger way too large to simply be satiated by platonic gestures-

and he was also sure you wouldn't be able to handle him, truly. The conversation with Jimin, one of your best friends, had changed nothing about that. Because he didn't know you well enough to quite know if you were only bark and no bite- or if you were genuinely craving the same things he did.

But most recently, there had been a change in his opinion on you. Because he had seen you, come out of this place, out of Yoongis studio.

You knew about all of this- and you were still around.

Nothing had changed.

Now, of course he had instantly poked holes into the poor guy about if he had ever played with you before- and the answer he had gotten, had made him even more interested and antsy to get closer to you.

Because while you trusted Yoongi with everything you had, he had never done anything with you. You had simply been interested in watching a scene unfold- and had told him that you were definitely interested in participating. The reason Jungkook couldn't ask you directly was a clear one-

You were majorly intimidated by him, to the point of, he had never really had a proper conversation with you. Partially, he had to admit, because he himself didn't want to involve himself too much with you.

He’d always asked himself; wouldn’t you be even more distant and reserved with him if you knew this side of him? Sure, you always joked around that he probably tied his girls up and edged them until they cried- but did you know that he genuinely enjoyed these things?

Relationships for him were mere covers to call the arrangements he had with the girls that came and went in his life in a constant changing matter. Deep down, no one night stand could satisfy his most carnal desires, and he was very well aware of that. But he rather took what he could get and lived a fever dream for a few moments than stay on his own simply because his idea of pleasure and sex was not the norm.

No, he refused to deny himself that.

Maybe it was because he’d always lived a rather lavish life- with his parents well off and his own career skyrocketing he never really had any worries like you have had in the past. For some odd reason, while looking at the soft red rope in his hands, his thoughts suddenly went astray; he knew he could give you the stability you oh so craved, in every way shape and form. You were a diamond simply waiting to be perfected- you had so much potential, knowing that you were secretly wandering around the same paths as he did made him even more frustrated.

The hints were there, they were obvious; from the way you had sighed out in bliss when he’d teasingly pulled your hair just hours ago, to the sinful confessions he’d heard that night when he overheard you and jimin by accident. Of course he’d maybe wasted a thought or two of you underneath him to humor him once or twice- but now with the rope in his hands, his mind immediately began painting pictures of it against your skin. Would you enjoy it? And what if he took your sight, or only bound your hands? What if he denied you to cum, or if he took you from behind, grabbing your hair and pushing down your spine to make it arch so prettily- never with the intend to hurt, of course. He knew he’d have to tame you first, make you submit, but then again, he loved the challenge.

You made even the idea of touching fun.

He wouldn't even have to undress you to fully get himself worked up, he was sure of that. Only seeing you bow to his very command would be enough to satisfy him. Of course, over the course of time he would lead you deeper and deeper into his rabbit hole, but he would take it slow for you.

So, with a smile, and a wave of his hand, he walked past the girl he knew had been his appointment- grinning at Taehyung. "Of course I'll be there."

He wouldn't dare miss a night with you.

You were stressing. A little.

Maybe.

Maybe a lot.

Everything would've been fine if they guys would've all come over. But due to the bad weather, and Taehyungs bad habit of never properly fixing his god-forsaken dumpster of a car, only one of them would be able to make it. And of course the one had to be Jeon Jungkook.

Just great.

Now, it wasn't like you didn't like the guy, no way. The problem was more, that he was on the exact opposite of that spectrum. You had a major crush on him, which felt like the plot to a really bad drama show you would watch drunk at night- and in a way, it really felt like one too. Because you were pretty sure, he didn't even know your name.

But oh well- apparently he knew more than that. More specifically, your phone number. And it had scared the shit out of you at first to receive a message from him because how the hell did he get your number, but then again you remembered that one of your connections was Kim Taehyung- and everyone knew what he knew.

It was the doorbell that ripped you out of your skin almost.

You didn't even change, deciding any effort would be too late anyways; and you were still heavily confused in the first place why the fuck he would come over alone, even though you two had never exchanged much more than a friendly hello and goodbye. But there he was, as you opened the door- soft, white hoodie and ripped jeans, a bit damp from the rain outside as you let him inside.

He didn't move.

"Uh-" You started, but he just looked at you, friendly as ever, although a teasing glint in his eye made you frown a bit.

He thought it was cute.

"You didn't tell me to come in." He said, and you blinked once, twice, before your brain had properly restarted.

"Oh uh- come in?" You said, again, moving a bit to the side so he could walk in- which he still didn't. "Jungkook come on now its fucking cold-!" You whined, and he laughed, finally stepping inside. Had he always been like that? Could very well be the case, after all, you had never truly paid much attention to his behavior before.

"Thanks for letting me come over." He said, and you watched him as he untied his boots. "I had nothing else to do- and also, I didn't want you to waste any food, considering Tae said you cooked for us." He explained, before he got up again from his half kneeling position, boots now standing next to your significantly smaller shoes.

"Ah, it would've been fine, you guys don't have to feel bad." You waved off, smiling. "I was about to stop cooking anyways when Jimin had texted me, but well, then you did and uhm.." You drifted off, noticing how you were suddenly waiting for him to lead the way.

In your own apartment.

What the hell?

If he noticed however, he didn't show it. He simply smiled, and moved his hands inside the front pocket of his hoodie. "Ah, thanks. I appreciate it, really." He said, and you smiled at him as well, walking towards the main area of your apartment. It was small, very small compared to his own, but he enjoyed the feeling of it. Everything around him reminded him of you, in a way; from the pictures taped to the walls, to the stickers on your fridge. It all held a piece of you in it. "Your apartment is really nice, by the way." He commented, and you turned around, before getting plates and cutlery to bring inside the living room.

"Ah, right, it's your first time here." You said. "Thanks- the living room is right around the corner there, you can just sit down and I'll bring everything there." You explained, and he smiled, nodding without arguing.

You liked that.

Typically, there would've been this awkward 'oh no let me help you', but Jungkook didn't seem to dwell on it much, letting you do your thing instead of butting in and making things weird. He simply walked where you had directed him, sitting down on the couch as he went to place a blanket to the side. His fingers moved over the fabric for a moment, noticing how everything on the couch, including the pillows, were made of that same, soft material.

Interesting.

"Oh- you can just put that to the side, sorry I forgot to clean that up." You said, putting the food onto the table as he just smiles again. He waits for you to sit down as well before you turn up the TV volume a little, nerves finally setting in as you notice there's almost nothing you can talk to him about. "This is awkward." You comment, and he chuckles at that swallowing his bite as he looks at you.

"Doesn't have to be." He states, before he turns his body a bit more into your direction; a visible sign that he wants a conversation. "Tae has never mentioned what you do for a living." He states, an unasked question of his. He lets you decide if you want to take it as one or leave it as a statement- it makes you feel nice, in a way.

"Ah uh.. it's really boring, so I guess I never really talk about it either.." You say, and he tilts his head a little, a silent urging for you to continue. You feel insignificant next o him and his job however. He's superior to you in any way, and you don't want him to feel pity or laugh at you for your job. "I uh.. I'm a programmer for a.. pretty unknown game studio." You say, body almost shrinking in on itself as you wait for his reaction. Much to your surprise however, he makes a sound that's purely surprise, as he swallows his bite with a bit of urgency.

"Fuck really?! That's so cool though!" He argues, brows furrowed a bit as he playfully accuses you with his next words. "Indie or not, a programmer is the main force of any game. Did you work on any games I might know of?" He asks, eyes sparkling as he realizes he had finally found something to bond with you over.

"Uh.. 'Rabbit Boy' was our best hit until now.." You say, still a bit shy, but you're also a tad more confident now. His reaction is either well-staged, or he's genuinely interested in what you do.

"I played it I think. It was a bit short, but I loved the mechanics." He says, and before he can quite stop himself, his hand has already reached out to you, running over your hair as he praises you like second nature. "Wuah, so smart!" He says, before he gets a reaction he wouldn't have thought he'd get from shy-you.

Because you playfully shove him, your socked feet pushed against the side of his thigh as you giggle at him.

Interesting, again.

Now, Jimin has actually told him about this before. How you were anything but the shy girl when you were around people you knew and trusted. He had believed it- to an extend- because he had also thought that maybe you were like that to prove your spot between those guys. As the only girl, you easily got thrown under the bus, so you had to somehow own your spot in the midst of your circle of friends.

However, it seemed like you were truly just a brat, hiding behind that innocent facade of yours. A barking dog, with every intent to bite if needed.

And Jungkook knew, he'd love to tame you, show you your spot, and make you his prey.

The trashy movie your watching bores you, in a way. Jungkook has noticed this already, having taken note of your feet wiggling around, your teeth nibbling on the inside of your cheek, as you rest your cheek on your hand, elbow resting on the side of the couch.

“I don’t know why she’s so hesitant.” You mutter, pouting as you slump into the couch- uncaring that the side of your body now leans against his own. He feels your warmth- and for some reason it brings him comfort to notice that you’re seemingly growing more at ease. “I mean, it’s what she’s into, right?” You say, brows furrowed as you watch the screen.

“It’s not that simple.” Jungkook explains, trying to not make it obvious that he’s not necessarily talking about the movie. “Some men like to you know.. fight for a partner. Impress them. Win them over.” He explains, and he can feel you shift a little- until your head raises a bit, watching him as he watches you; gazes locked, and you can’t look away. You’re shy, you’re growing restless, but his eyes are like magnets; there’s no way you can avert your gaze.

“And.. you?” You ask, voice not loud at all, as if you don’t even notice you’re saying it. He loves that- loves the fact that you’re slowly letting him closer- not only physically.

“I like to earn my spot in their lives.” He states, and your mind suddenly begins to spin. You’ve always seen him as someone who doesn’t care much about emotions or feelings, or relationships for that matter. And maybe he doesn’t- maybe he just says this because he knows your weak spots. But the way his words fall into your ears makes you believe him. “I like to see my partner thrive; I love to see them grow. And..” he says, boldly deciding to slowly reach out his hand that was placed on the back of the couch- his fingers running through your hair, only brushing through, never pulling (no matter how much you’re craving it secretly). “I love to see them let go.” He humms out, and there’s a sudden shiver down your back, one that he definitely notices.

This is it. This is where you’ll let him touch you, let him wreck you, let him ruin you. You lean in closer, and so does he, but just when your lips are about to touch, he smiles gently- a warm affectionate gesture that you’ve never seen from him. And with it being directed at you, it’s even more meaningful- but it’s all about his next move, the way his inked fingers trace your cheek, before he speaks.

“You’re not ready yet.”

And with that, he turns back to the TV.

You huff, and it's the first time you know exactly what you're doing. You knew from Yoongi what Jungkook did in his freetime- you knew that this stuff was his expertise. Defeated, you looked down towards your knees, as your thoughts start to grow more and more frustrated. He probably didn't even see you like that, having only visited you out of pity, and not because he wanted to see you.

You were probably already friendzoned, and he was too nice to outright say it into your face. It made your emotions turn sour as the situation grew more and more awkward for you.

"What're you thinking about?" He asks, and you don't answer. What was there to say anyways? You really didn't want to have this weird conversation where he would tell you that oh yeah you're a nice girl, but he's not the right guy, the usual stuff you've already heard time and time again. "Y/N." He says, his voice dropping a little, but you only chew on the inside of your cheek again, eyes moving towards the TV screen. You didn't want to talk- you just hoped he would now sigh and get up, leaving so you could forget about all of this. You could maybe fake being sick for the next week or so to avoid him, yeah, that would be enough time to gloss over this entire situation. But he only clicks his tongue, hands suddenly moving your legs as he moves your body to face him.

Looking at his face is your first mistake.

His eyes are dark and almost angry, irritated as he looks as you. His jaw is clenched, and his hands stay on your knees for a moment, before he's sure enough that he has your attention. Only then does he speak, his voice nowhere near as soft and light as it had been before. "I know what you're thinking, and I don't like it." He says, and that's when you make your second mistake.

"Can we not right now? You don't know shit." You say, and he stares you down for a moment, until his head tilts a slight bit, eyes growing predatory as the corners of his lips tilt upwards. It resembles a small smile, yes, but it's not meant to be one. No, the first thing you have to think about is a wolf snarling at you, ready to put his packmate into their place for acting out.

It makes your spine tingle.

"Hm, maybe, but we can be classy about it, no?" He asks, and you scoff, trying to move your legs away from him, as he scans you.

At this point, he can see clearly that you're testing him.

So he gets up promptly, moving you around so you're standing in front of him. His inked hand finds your hair, gripping without mercy as he pulls your head back, your gaze now forced to stay on his as he calmly speaks. "You think I'm not into you like that- and you're as wrong as you could ever get." He says, biting his tongue as to not let a petname slip. He'd love to use them, but he knows that it's not yet time. That would be foul play, in a way; he doesn't want to seduce you.

He wants to make you understand.

"Trust me when I say I'd love to just throw you over my legs to spank that attitude out of you right now." He explains, and you whine- not in pain, but simply as a reaction to his confession. "But you don't know what you're getting yourself into." He continues, and pulls a bit to interrupt your next words. You know that you can get free any second you want to- but for some reason, there's no urge to do so. "You think of this as some game to play, you think of yourself as someone who can take all of it at once, but you don't even get the simplest and most important things about this entire thing." You swallow, as you stay still, finally giving up your fight as he relaxes the grip he still has on you. "Even now, it's not me controlling this situation. Its you." He says, letting go of you as his hands rest on your cheeks, eyes searching for any clues of discomfort. Only when he finds none, does he continue. "I will only ever have as much control over you as you're willing to give to me." He smiles again, this time, warm and comforting. "If you're really willing to do this, we will do this right. You'll have to trust me first, and I'll have to get to know you fully first, before anything else happens. Understood?" He asks.

And you nod.

"Do you know what you just agreed to?" He chuckles, and, shyly, you shake your head.

"See?" He grins, breaking skincontact with you. "You're not ready yet."

His brows furrow when he sees you sitting on the counter, Taehyung talking to you. "What're you doing here?" He asks, and you pout, as Taehyung moves away, not wanting to get involved into anything this time. "Stop that face. We talked about this last week, why're you here now?" He asks, and you tilt your head innocently.

"Maybe I'm here for Yoongi?" You say, and his eyes grow darker for a second, before he composes himself.

"Good try, but he's still off work." He states, and you deflate a bit.

"I just.. wanted to see, I guess." You say, and he smiles a bit impishly.

"Oh? I mean, I have a scene in twenty minutes.." He asks, and internally, you cringe. No, you don't want to see him screw or even touch another woman in the ways you secretly want him to touch you instead. No, you're technically here to maybe talk him into show you at least a little bit. But it doesn't seem like he'll cave in anytime soon, so you sigh out.

"Okay, okay, I'll see you around, I guess." You say, hopping down from the counter before you take a step towards the exit.

"Ah well, I'll drive you home then." He states, and you grow confused as he leans against the counter. "Seeing as my scheduled appointment wants to leave, I have time off." He states, and you skin tingles. "Come on now, before I change my mind." He states, as he walks you outside again, leading you towards his car.

"I didn't mean to turn up so.. I don't know. Sorry." You said, and he gets into the drivers seat, shaking his head.

"I can understand you, trust me." He says, as he starts the engine and drives off. "If you're okay with it, I'd like to get something from my apartment, and then drive to yours." He says, and you tilt your head.

"Why not to the studio, or your place?" You ask, and he nods.

"While those are places I feel comfortable, they're unfamiliar to you. It's best if we start in a place that's comforting and gives you a sense of security." He states, and you nod.

Jungkook, in your eyes, never really seemed as mature as he's acting in those moments. It's as if he switches every time you two change topics; any time this particular one comes up, his mood changing into a serious one. Now, you're not stupid, you know the risks- and of course you had somewhat done your research online about the damages that could occur during all of this. And there's also the not too little chance it really isn't something for you after all- and in a way, that scares you. Because you want jungkook, but what if you don't want.. this?

Instead of voicing that out, you simply keep quiet as he gets out the car, and inside again after fetching what looks like an overnight bag. "You're staying over?" You ask, and he simply throws it on to the backseat.

"Maybe. We'll see." He says, and you don't question him as he drives. "Let's get something to eat. What're you craving?" He asks, as he keeps his attention on the road. He notices how you seem to think, already able to practically see the gears turning inside your head. "Don't think about what I could want. I asked what you want." He says, calmly, and so soft, that you simply let your words out.

"Tae usually get's me food.." You start, and Jungkook nods, as if understanding. You watch him smile a little.

"Let's get some junk food and eat it in the car." He simply states, and you nod, happy that he seemingly really did get what you were trying to say. For you, things like these were almost like rituals- like you and tae getting random icecream just to hurry home every time to not have it melt.

Maybe this would become a memory only for you and Jungkook.

"You're nervous." Jungkook says, speaking out what's obvious. You don't know what he'll do, you're confused whats in his bag- you're nervous, just like he said. "Why is that?" He asks, casually sitting on your bed with you. He had earlier told you not to panic-clean it; he was not there to be impressed. He was simply a visitor for now, nothing more, nothing less. You shrugged. There were a lot of reasons you were nervous. "If you want this to work, I need to have proper communication with you. Guessing will get me nowhere." He says, but his voice is not upset. He's simply informing you.

"I.. don't know what you'll do?" You say, and He smiles, sitting more comfortably, as he shows you his open hands.

"I'm not gonna do anything for the moment." He tells you, and you shrug.

"But wasn't that the plan?" You ask him.

"What would you want me to do then?" He asks instead, not answering your question. He's testing you, he want's to know if you really are aware of everything. He's also not only asking you about what you want him to do to you- but with you, as well. He was unsure if you wanted to romantically involve yourself with him, or simply explore something new at his side.

He's afraid he'd be okay with either, just because its you.

"Are you going to tie me up?" You ask, and Jungkook grins, before he laughs. You're growing shy, unsure, and he instantly makes sure you know he's simply laughing about what you said, not about you. His hand holds yours- and it's weirdly reassuring.

"No, although I can imagine you looking very pretty in that position." He says. "No, come here." He says, lays down on the bed, and you stay where you are, with reasonable distance between you two. "I want you to come as close to me as you feel comfortable. Don't force it- take your time. I'm not expecting anything, please remember that." He tells you calmly, not looking at you to give you mental distance from him as well. His eyes are actually closed, his body relaxed.

You don't move for a moment. You want to test how long he can really play this patient role- but after around five or ten minutes, he's still not moving. He's not even saying anything, and you're unsure if he's asleep or not.

There's only one way to find out.

You carefully lay down a little away from him, on your side, simply looking at him. It's weird to see him like that; you've always imagined him to be a very dominant and demanding person, from what you've heard and seen of him. But Jungkook doesn't feel like any of the guys you've been with; he also doesn't feel like Taehyung, or Yoongi, or Hoseok.. Jungkook, weirdly enough, feels comfortable. He's relaxed, and laid back, and still has that slight glint of power over you.

You move closer, your curiosity getting the best of you as scenes and pictures of him holding you fill your head. Is he even a cuddler? You can't imagine him being all soft and sweet for gestures like that, but then again, you didn't really think you'd ever be in a situation like this either. Maybe you were judging a book by its cover.

He smells nice- that's one of the first things you notice once you get closer. One of his arms is stretched out to the side- his tattooes visible, but partially hidden by his sweater sleeve. You want to look at them, so you test the waters- by touching his arm, just a small poke with your finger. You can see the corners of his lips twitch; he's definitely awake. You move his arm a little, inside facing you as you get a detailed look at his artworks. They're detailed, they fit him, the dark Ink a stark contrast to his skin.

His sweater seems soft.

You slowly lay down again, your head resting on his biceps as you simply lay for a moment.

This is nice.

You feel more and more bold with every minute that passes, not even minding the way he sometimes moves around. You're growing at ease, so much so, that you simply throw all hesitation out of the window, and cuddle up to him. one of your hands is on his chest, while your head rests ontop of the inside of his shoulder.

This is really nice.

"Are you falling asleep?" He asks, voice not loud at all, as his arm moves, palm resting on your forearm as he holds you. You don't mind it- you feel relaxed enough to really actually do fall asleep- so you nod. "That's good." He tells you.

"But didn't you bring stuff to try?" you ask, and Jungkook nods.

"We got time. A small nap is always a good idea." He tells you, and you simply nod- making him smile.

He's glad.

Because by falling asleep on him like that, you don't even know how much you've complimented him at all. You're relaxed enough around him, comfortable enough to let him close to you in a vulnerable state such as sleep. It makes him wonder how far you'd let him go- would you let anyone get so close so quickly? A sudden rush of protectiveness curses through his body, fills him up, as he swears he can't let you go now. No, what if someone else gets you like this? What if someone takes advantage of your open mind like that? He doesn't even want to imagine.

Jungkook really has it bad.

You slowly wake up to a bit of weight on your face. "jungkook what're you doing?" you giggle, and he chuckles as well as he takes the hand away from over your eyes. He looks well rested, with his eyes still not fully open.

"Nothing." He says. "Just teasing." He says, but of course, nothing he does is just random teasing. Everything he does is calculated- it's to test you, to study you, to make sure he gets to know you. "Are you hungry?" He asks instead.

"Not for food."

He has to let that process for a moment, until he laughs. He's really got it with you, he thinks, as he suddenly moves, eyes dark, while he's now ontop of you, his hands holding your wrists. Expecting you to look surprised, he finds none of that however. It intrigues him, the way you don't seem to be nervous or fearful at all. It makes him wonder what you'd really do to him if he was to advance in ways he wanted to. "Careful, sweetheart." He says, and your eyes sparkle with a silent challenge.

"Or what?"

His grip gets a bit tighter at that, eyes a bit darker. "Someone's eager." He says lowly. "Don't you think you're biting off more than you can chew right now?" He asks, before he clicks his tongue, slowly falling into his own headspace. He knows however not to let himself slip. "Give me a random word." He asks, demands, and you say whatever finds your mind in that moment.

"Bunny." You say.

He raises his eyebrow for a second, but doesn't question it. "I want you to say that, loud and clear, as soon as you feel uncomfortable." He lectures you seriously. "It doesn't matter what it is. Physically, or mentally, or if you simply don't want me to continue because. I need you to tell me that you will say it." His gaze is intense, and you nod. "I promise you; I'll never get mad, or upset, or angry, or disappointed with you. My ego isn't worth your safety." He humms out at the end, and your eyes soften.

He notices it instantly, and it affects him more than he'd like to admit.

"I promise I'll say it if I need to." You tell him, and he grows comfortable again.

"Can I touch you?" He asks, softly, and you nod, before verbally answering him with a yes. "Remember; I'll only ever have as much power and control over you as you will give me." He mumbles, head now dipped down to ghost his lips over the skin of your neck. "But once you give it to me-" He says, his knee situating itself in between your legs to spread them in a silent command. "-I won't give it back." He growls, before he bites down, releasing the skin after hearing your delicate mewl, kissing the spot as if to apologize.

He's not sorry.

"Let me ask you.." He says, feeling you rut against his leg that's pressed against your center. "what do you really want from me?" He asks, and you open your eyes, movements slowly coming to a halt as you notice the way he looks at you.

He almost looks uncertain.

"I.." You want him. You know that- you want all of his bad habits and weird quirks. You want to get to know him and everything that comes with it. Hell, he was the main reason you even got into the entire scene in the first place. "You." You say, deciding its best to practice honesty.

"Me?" He asks, genuinely a little confused.

You nod. "Yeah. You." You say. It's a little weird, the whole situation, but you don't mind it. Your hands slowly slip out of his grasp, before they instead intertwine their fingers with his. He feels weirdly caught off guard by the gesture- his past encounters and relationships never having included things like these. So much so, that Jungkook genuinely believed those things to be simple movie-gestures. Overdone, and not realistic. "Like uhm.. if you want to. If you just want to, you know, I.. guess I'd be okay with that too-" You say, looking away, as Jungkook answers.

"I want you too." He answers, eyes searching yours for any glimmer of dishonesty. But he doesn't find it- there is none. There's just you. "I really want you too." He murmurs out, getting closer, before he lets himself loose, his lips finding yours.

He's never been a fan of kissing, but he can very much already imagine kissing you for hours.

Its not just you letting go in that moment, its him too.

Because unbeknownst to you, he's not just opening you a door to his world of unspoken fantasies-

He's also opening his heart as well.

Your first time together is slow and comfortable.

It happens just a day after you had both decided to pursue an actual relationship with one another. He's gentle, careful, but not hesitant. He's exploring.

Inside of his head, he notes down every noise and every twitch of muscle. You sigh as he eats you out, the small ponytail of his unable to hold onto all of his hair as his eyes are partially hidden behind the blonde strands. He's watching you, his fingers having already stretched you out, but then he sits up. You whine, with him having stolen your release for a second time. "Let's play a little, yeah?" He says with an amused yet calm tone. You're already unable to do much about your position; your wrists bound to your bed over your head, carefully tied knots comfortable against your skin, as long as you don't pull. "Legs open." He calls out as you try and close them, and you whine again; testing his patience as you still go ahead and disobey his command. He watches, moves forward, before he pulls them apart again. "You want to cum, no?" He asks, and you nod, frustratedly so. "I wonder what made you think you've earned that reward from me." He tells you, eyes scanning your form as you pull on your restraints a little. He's not fully into his own headspace yet- he's still very much on high alert to notice any signs of discomfort coming from you.

He has to learn just as much as you do.

"You're lucky you're so sweet." He says, before he crawls closer again, his hand on your center, as he enters you with two fingers. Its not enough, but then his thumb draws circles on your clit- and you're approaching, quickly. "Hm? Won't you cum?" And then you say it.

"Can I?"

It's so desperate, so needy, so submissive, that it sends a chill down his spine. He moves closer, kisses your neck, as he can't help but let the rush of it get to him. He is, after all, just as desperate for release. No matter if its his, or yours.

"Such a good girl, of course you can." He tells you. "What a sweet one, such good manners.." He teases playfully, and you tug at your restraints as you come undone under his hands. He unties your wrists and you're holding onto him as soon as you're free, and he lets you hold onto him in your post orgasmic bliss.

Its after a moment that you realize it.

"Wait-" You say, sitting up to look at him. "You- I mean, you didn't get to-" You start, but Jungkook waves it off.

"Its fine, really." He tells you, and you know he's serious. "I'll just wait until it goes down, or take care of it in your bathroom if thats okay with you." He says, patting the side next to him to lay down on. "Come here." He asks, and you comply, before you speak again.

"You.." You start, not looking at him. "Could just take care of it here." You say. "Or I could.." you start, and he looks at you.

"Do you want that, or do you only feel like you have to?" He asks, and you shrug. You take some time, before you answer.

You've seen most of Jungkook until now. From his strong arms, his back, his inked skin, to his thighs and legs. You have seen all- but that. And you've never really considered giving anything back in that way to anyone because of one single embarrassing moment- but with Jungkook, for some reason, you wanted to try.

"I want to." You say, and he nods. "But I don't know how.." You say, and he smiles reassuringly.

"I'll guide you." He tells you, before he scans your face. He's never really felt that desired- at least not in the way he does in that moment with you. "You can take it out for starters." He says, and you nod, before you hesitate a little.

Jungkook is nice, when it comes to that. He's patient, always lets you do the pacing for now, until you trust him enough. This is only the start, after all. You stay cuddled up to his side, but your hand ventures towards his sweats, where you can see his prominent erection still waiting. Slowly, you push the fabric down, both his sweats and boxers underneath- his hips lifting a bit to make it easier for you, until he's freed from his clothes.

You've never really thought much about looks when it came to that department, but Jungkook was, in each and every way, highly attractive. Now you knew, that there was literally nothing about him you didn't desire.

Your first touches are a little hesitant, testing the waters, and Jungkook tries not to react too much to it to give you time. Its when you start to move your hand however, that he closes his eyes, head now completely resting on the pillows beneath as he just decides to enjoy what you might give him. His hips twitch upwards a little after you'd run your thumb over the head, precum glistening while your hand uses it as lubricant to move more smoothly.

He sighs out.

And you grow bold at that, moving to sit up and escape out of his embrace, before you dip down to feed your curiosity. As your tongue touches his skin, his muscles contract, the action not expected since he didn't look what you were doing. You've been told once before that you're not.. the best at this- but Jungkook made you want to try. If you would've looked, you would've spotted the intense stare that Jungkook had been sending your way; mesmerized by the way you tucked your hair behind your ear oh so sweetly, before you let a drop of saliva escape from between your lips, taking him in soon after it had dropped onto his awaiting length.

You really were something else.

He'd gotten head time and time before, and it was never something he didn't like- but he'd also rarely ever cared that much emotionally about the person giving it to him. It's weird, how an emotional connection can make you so much more sensitive to things- such as in that moment, as your tongue moved over his skin while inside your warm mouth, lips heavenly on his cock.

He couldn't imagine what it would be like to be inside you.

There's nothing he could teach you, nothing he could tell you to do, as you moved, sucked and licked. He was breathing heavily already, his hand finding yours as you hold onto it. He sits up, can't help it, has to somehow touch you while you're not letting go of your task. His palm escapes your hand, rests on your head instead, runs through your hair before it grips a little. You moan, vibrations making him throw his head back as he groans out, feeling his end coming closer. "If you don't want to swallow, let go." He grits out, but you suck harder instead, and its when your hand finds his balls that he lets himself fall back onto the mattress beneath, shooting his load into your mouth as you swallow it down.

He's on cloud nine.

You're thoughtful enough to pull his underwear and pants back up, laying on your stomach next to him, waiting, watching, with impish eyes. He looks so radiant, so relaxed, so at ease. It fills you with a weird sense of pride; since in a way, its your doing. "Why did you tell me you don't know how to do that." He comments, rather than asks, slowly calming his breathing back down. His eyes open, hand pushing some hair out of your face. "Thank you. That was amazing." He says, and you shrug.

"Thanks for the compliment." You say, looking at him.

"I have a request." He says, and you nod. "Not like that." He teases, making you blush. "No, but seriously." Jungkook knows that you've been with other people before. It scares him to know that some of your experiences might not have been good- he knows some absolute horror stories Taehyung had told him. "I want you to take all that you've experienced with your former partners.. all those moments, emotions, bad memories, all of it." He tells you, hand now resting on your cheek- a gesture in which you lean into. "And throw them away. Forget them." He tells you.

"This is a new start, for both of us."

"How many clients have you been with?" You ask, casually sitting on the kitchen counter as Jungkook washes the dishes. Its your first night in his apartment, and you're more comfortable than you thought you'd be.

"None." He tells you, and you're ready to snort out a laugh, but he doesn't look at all like he's joking. Seeing your confusion, he continues while scrubbing a plate. "None of us actually have sex with our clients. Some only come to talk, really- others come to let go." He explains, and you nod. "I've never touched, nor been with someone intimately during a scene." He tells you.

"So you had scenes with your partners then?" You ask, and he shrugs.

"In the beginning, yeah." He admits, shrugging. "But I eventually gave up on it. It's not something a lot of people find very appealing. It all looks great in theory, but when practiced, most find its not for them." Draining the sink, he dries his hands on the dish towel, before putting it in its proper place.

"Could you.. imagine a relationship without it?" You ask, and he sighs, shaking his head.

"Not really." He looks at you after a moment. "Its who I am, and its how I love. I can't change that." He tells you, and you nod. Its understandable really, and you like that he has clear lines he likes to follow. It's weirdly comforting to know that he has his life so under control- its all you've ever wanted really.

It's something Jungkook might be able to give you.

It was weird, the feeling of the rope against your skin. He’d been right about it earlier; it wasn’t rough or itchy at all. But maybe that was just because it was him doing it. Maybe he was simply fogging up your senses.

It would make sense.

“Okay?” He humms out, voice gentle and calm while he stops his hands for a moment, palm on your shoulder where it warms up your skin. You’re unsure what okay really means- okay like, he’s finished? Or is he asking if you’re okay? Or is he asking for permission? “Speak to me- don’t just think.” He says, eyes watching you in such a manner that made your slightly trembling body calm down.

“I’m not sure what- what you mean by, okay.” You say, and he smiles, eyes roaming over your body for a moment, but surprisingly not in a way that would make you feel exposed. You’re almost naked, after all- only your most private parts hidden from his sight. You can see the very evident tent in his pants; but he doesn’t seem like he’s frustrated or fazed about it.

“Good Job telling me.” He says first and foremost, and you start to feel warm inside. “I was asking if you were okay. Do you remember your colors?” He asks, and you nod, before verbally answering him with a ‘yes’. He nods again, a hand running over your head, fingers running through your hair affectionately. “Good. I’ll finish the last knots now- remember you can stop at any time. Don’t hesitate.” He says, and you nod.

He grabs the rope again; the tiny fact that he’d chosen one in your favorite color making you feel.. well, you didn’t know. You could feel your nose sting, before it shot into your eyes, making them water; something that Jungkook immediately noticed. “Color?” He asks, and you shake your head.

“Green, Green, I’m okay-“ you say, but you can’t stop the tears. He’s quick to sit down in front of you after tying the last knot- and it’s the first time you quietly look at them. They’re so delicate, so well done, but there’s no time to dwell on it as he lifts you chin gently.

“Talk to me.” He says, hands on your shoulders to give you some sense of stability. You’re safe, you don’t feel bad, but just..

“I don’t know. There’s so much-“ you begin, and he softly smiles, as if you’re not currently completely bound with no chance of proper movement. You take a deep breath, holding it before you release again, silently following the advices he’d given you prior. “Why do I feel so.. comfortable? I feel safe even though I’m in such a dangerous situation- I’m.. this is weird isn’t it, I should be.. I don’t know. Why’re you not doing anything? Wasn’t this supposed to be like, a sex session or something I don’t get it-“ you babble, and he lets you, before he speaks.

“You still don’t quite get it, do you?” He asks, and your glistening eyes stare up at him. “I don’t need something as simple as sex to feel satisfied.” He explains, and you nod, even though you don't quite understand. "I feel euphoric right now, even though you probably won't quite believe me." He says, his smile evident as his fingers trace the knots on your skin. It's there that you see it; the glimmer in his eyes, something you've never seen before with someone else. "The fact that you let me do this, it's all I need." He humms out. He looks at you, a silent question, and you take a deep breath.

You don't quite know what you're doing. Its weird- but seeing him like that makes you feel weightless. It happens slowly, you don't quite grasp what it is, but the feeling is nice. It's like letting go- like standing on the highest platform of the universe and just jumping down. And when you open your eyes, all you see is him.

He can't take his eyes off of you.

He's seen it often enough to spot it, knows what it looks like, but it still holds such a deep meaning to him to see you fall into your subspace for the very first time. You're so beautiful like that, so ethereal and enchanting as you lean forward to get closer to him. He's careful you dont accidentally hurt yourself with the big scissors on the bed close by- emergency equipment to release you asap if needed.

He knows escape is the furthest thing on your mind right now.

Able to do anything he'd want with you, he's not like that however. He's responsible enough to let you float for a moment, before he speaks to you again. "Baby?" He asks, and you nod, nuzzling his shoulder as he holds you close. "You're doing so good. Can you do something for me baby?" He questions again, and you nod, not parting from him however before he talks again. "Can you sit straight for a moment? Just like that, good girl." He praises as you instantly follow his command. "I got you, okay? I got you, you're safe." He repeats, as he slowly unties your body. It's careful reassuring and slow movements that make it possible to untie you- too quickly could make you drop; a state of sudden shift in mental state, that could send you straight into distress. Jungkook doesn't ever want to be the cause of that for you.

You're underneath him, and he's careful, as he undresses after placing the scissors onto the bedside table where it cant lead to any accidents. He also reaches inside the table, pulling out a condom from a box safely stored, before he gets himself ready.

Not even for a second is his attention not on you however.

"Hands up baby." He commands, and you do as he wants, already squirming as he advances towards you, fingers stretching you out as you grow huffy at the prospect of being edged again. He's quick to catch on though. "Hm, I'm not gonna be mean baby." He tells your fuzzy mind. "But I gotta get you ready, no?" Fingers steadily helping you relax, he waits until he deems you ready.

You struggle to keep your hands up as he enters you, but your mind is adamant on keeping his command. He groans out, kisses your neck, as he slowly begins to move lazily. It's enough for pleasure- but not enough to make you cum. "Good fucking girl. Look at you. My baby." He chants, and something inside you stirs at the last words.

His Baby.

You're his.

He wants you.

It makes you whine as he chuckles, nipping at your skin. "You can touch me baby, good job." He says, and your hands are instantly around his neck. You're mumbling something, but its not words. It's not coming out the way you think it does, and Jungkook doesn't mind, doesn't care. Its another one of those things fueling him up, urging him on.

You're his perfect puzzle piece.

He lets go.

"Turn around princess." He says breathless, and you follow his instructions eagerly. His hand rests on the back of your neck for a moment, leaves its place for a second to move your hair away from your face, before he gently pushes down. He's inside in a heartbeat, this time thrusting with more strength.

Something overcomes him that hasn't happened before.

Usually, this position is what he loves most- and yet, it's not what he wants. He wants you, he wants you close, he cant touch you enough. His arms snake around your torso, just underneath the bottom of your breasts, as he pulls you towards him. Your back arches so prettily, and he gasps out, breathing heavy as he continues his attack on your neck. "You're mine." He growls out, can't keep it inside anymore, his grip on you tightening. "Mine." His thrusts stutter, his hand reaches for your center, desperate fingers helping you find your release. It coats your thighs, stains the bed, and he pushes himself as deep as he can once he finishes himself.

He's breathing heavily, he's out of his mind, running on autopilot as his hands still hold you. He pulls out after a moment, a whine from you getting reassured by his own voice, before he leaves the bed, getting a warm damp washcloth ready for you. He's careful, gentle, seems to caress your skin more than clean it, places kisses every now and then and sends praises your way.

"How do you feel?" He asks, voice low and caring as he continues his aftercare.

"Like you love me a lot." You sleepily say, eyes still foggy, and he smiles.

"Good." He tells you, reaching out to kiss your lips, still high on his own afterglow. "That's how you're always supposed to feel like."

"I've quit." He tells you one night on the couch, as you sit close to him. You'd asked him about his sidejob at Yoongi's- and this was his answer. Instantly, you sit up straight, fearing that he might've felt obligated because of you. "Before you start, yes, it was because of you." He says, and you already have the whine in your throat- but it doesn't make it out, as his fingers lazily trace your collarbone peaking out from his shirt you're wearing. "But it was also my decision. I just didn't enjoy it anymore- and you're more I could ever want really." He says, shrugging as you stare at him.

It was still new to you.

Although you knew that he was probably more than just a wild loverboy collecting partners and gaming all day, you never would've thought of him like this. He's a kid at heart still, teasing and playfighting every now and then- but he's mostly a strong shoulder to lean on for you. He really is the security and safety you'd always searched for. "What're you thinking about?" He asks, pulling you closer as he continues watching the TV show.

"You." You say, and he chuckles.

"Cute." He answers. He looks at you for a moment, TV long forgotten, before you crawl over his lap, shirt rising enough to give him free view of your thighs and panties. You've skipped the pants tonight- a habit of yours he enjoys a lot. His palms instantly find the soft skin, running along the outside of your thighs before they find your behind, squeezing, before he slaps it playfully. He grins as you squeal, admiring the way the very tips of your ears turn red. "You're really precious, you know that?" He tells you, and you shrug. "You are." He confirms, and you smile shyly.

"May I kiss you?" You ask, and he smiles warmly.

"We're not in a scene baby, do as you wish." He tells you, and you nod, leaning forward to capture his lips with yours. Its a feeling you can't quite get enough of, and it seems like he enjoys it equally as much. His inked hands find their way underneath your shirt, running over your back and spine as you shudder. He doesn't find what he seeks, your underwear long gone and left in the bedroom, and he loves it, instantly moves to your chest where he finds the soft flesh, his thumb running over one of your nipples teasingly. You're arching your back already, moving around as if you can't sit still. "My baby." He mumbles out, "If you can be so kind and get me a condom, you can ride me if you want to." He tells you, and you nod.

By now you easily know your way around his apartment.

So its no wonder you quickly return from your now shared bedroom, condom in hand as you approach him again, settling onto his lap. You're not shy with him nor his body anymore, eagerly taking the condom out of the package for him to roll it down onto his length. "You good?" He asks, and you nod, pulling your panties aside as you slowly sink down on him.

He lets his head rest back on the couch, and you lean into him, for a change returning the favor of kissing his neck. He's grinning, throughoutly enjoying things, and you love watching him. It's a visual reminder to yourself that this is your doing. You're making him feel that way, and no one else. It makes you confident, and it makes you feel cherished in ways you haven't felt before.

Once you start to move, Jungkooks hands help you along. Its slow and lazy, not at all hurried. There's no real goal; you probably wouldn't even mind not cumming at all. This was just being close- a way of feeling connected in the most intimate of ways. Connected like only lovers could be.

You love him.

And it slips out as a tiny 'I love you' in between your sighs and gasps, and he hears it so clearly, he can't help himself but speed up the pace.

"I love you too." He chants out, kissing the side of your head as you rest against his chest, head on his shoulder. "I love you so much." He says, almost inaudible, his arms holding you as close as he can.

Jeon Jungkook doesn't need sex to feel satisfied.

But he will most certainly need you for now and forever.

And he's totally fine with that.

(c)Bonny-Kookoo. You know the drill. I know where you live. I don't. But still. Be scared. Boo.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Same universe as the one where LXC kills JGY on a boat to not-Japan. JRS-centric as he grows up in the Nie clan and deals with his reputation as an inbred son of a traitorous bastard.

so I don't think I've ever written a fic in which LXC kills JGY on a boat, and definitely not one where JRS is a character? I mean, I've written a lot of fics, so possibly I did and I forgot, but I'm pretty sure about this one.

That being said, I don't think I've gotten any Jin Rusong prompts before so I'm reinterpreting this to be a prompt for a fic about JRS growing up in the Nie clan. Fic below!

ao3

-

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Nie Huaisang reminded himself. Risk is proportionate with reward. Your spine should be made of steel, just as your saber is.

He licked his lips, thought of his brother who had loved him, and threw himself forward with tears in his eyes.

“Oh, gongzi!” he blubbered. “Can you help me? I’ve gotten completelylost, I don’t even know where to begin –”

Xue Yang blinked at him, the lids of his eyes moving slowly like a reptile.

“Maybe you know where my san-ge is? Lianfeng-zun?”

The feeling of immediate threat lessened. It seemed he’d gambled right, and the rabid dog that was Xue Yang could still be controlled by reference to Jin Guangyao.

“I’d really appreciate it if you could just give me some guidance on where to find him,” Nie Huaisang said, lowering his voice confidentially. “I’d be sure to pay you back! If there’s anything you want –”

“Do you have any snacks?” Xue Yang asked.

Nie Huaisang, who had come prepared based on the rumors he’d painstakingly collected, produced some dragons’ beard candy.

“Not bad,” Xue Yang said. “Okay, sure.”

Nie Huaisang smiled, and even meant it.

-

“Hey, good-for-nothing,” Xue Yang said, and Nie Huaisang turned to look at his least favorite but nevertheless highly useful source of information in Lanling Jin. The fact that Xue Yang had no idea that he was functioning as such just made it more satisfactory. “You like kids, right?”

Nie Huaisang blinked. “Yes?” he hazarded, not so much because he actually did – he’d never had strong feelings about children one way or the other, though perhaps he was being presumptuous in thinking that the reference did not involve goats – but because that seemed to be the answer Xue Yang was looking for.

Xue Yang wrinkled his nose in distaste, though not, Nie Huaisang thought, at him.

“Theoretically,” he said, and he wouldn’t know ‘theoretical’ if it hit him in the face, “if there were, I don’t know, a whole bunch of them hanging around somewhere without parents, you’d be able to do something about that, right? Especially if they had a talent for cultivation?”

It took only a moment to piece together what must have happened to lead to such a question, given the ruthlessness of the cultivation world and of Jin Guangyao in particular, and Nie Huaisang marveled briefly at the idea that Xue Yang might draw a moral line in the sand over something. Presumably he felt some kinship to the children, being similarly utterly infantile, amoral, and fond of sweet things.

“Oh sure!” he said, playing up the brainless idiot who didn’t know to ask questions. “My sect is always recruiting, you know. We took some losses in the war and, well, I feel like adult cultivators aren’t really all that interestedin joining ever since I took over…”

“Because you’re a waste of space,” Xue Yang said, and Nie Huaisang pouted at him. “Whatever, the important thing is that you have space for kids. Orphans. Think, like, a whole orphanage getting shut down or whatever – anyway, not important. You’d take them back to Qinghe, right?”

“Oh, that would be so wonderful!” Nie Huaisang clapped. “That would suit everyone, wouldn’t it? They don’t have to worry about the children, and we get new disciples. I should tell san-ge – no, on second thought, he might be too busy –”

“Definitely too busy,” Xue Yang said quickly. “Wouldn’t it be nice to accomplish something yourself? You could casually show him that your numbers went up at the end of the month instead so he gives you the credit, without explaining that it’s kids making up the increase.”

“That’s a great idea! He’ll be much more impressed by that, I should definitely do that. Where is the orphanage?”

“…uh, in the forest. The back forest.”

You couldn’t come up with a better lie?

“You already brought them here?” Nie Huaisang asked, batting his eyelashes. “You’re so nice, Xue-xiong! I’ll go tell my second in command to go deal with it right away!”

-

It was in the fifth round of kids getting picked up – small cultivation clans being massacred and there was nothing Nie Huaisang could do about it, because there was either no evidence or else Jin Guangyao had come up with some motive to justify his actions and, inevitably, Lan Xichen would be there behind him, soothing over tempers and providing explanations because he believed him, every time – that something unusual happened.

“Sect Leader Nie,” one of his most trusted subordinates murmured into his ear. “There’s a problem.”

Nie Huaisang found a reason to leave the party early, a reason to go to the rendezvous point, and, once there, found the reason for the problem.

“Oh, hey there,” he said with a smile fixed onto his face by sheer force of willpower, crouching down to make himself seem less intimidating. Not that he was ever particularly intimidating, though given the rage coursing through his veins right now, he thought he might be able to pull it off if he tried. “What a lucky chance! It’s so funny, finding you here, Songsong. How are you?”

Jin Rusong wiped his eyes and looked tearily at him, recognized that the person asking was his Little Uncle Nie, and threw himself into Nie Huaisang’s arms with a howl.

This was pretty typical – Jin Rusong wasn’t much of a crier, but when he did he definitely took Nie Huaisang as his model, something all the other adults in the cultivation world had a tendency to give Nie Huaisang dirty looks over.

The only problem here, of course, was that Jin Rusong was dead.

Or, rather…he was supposed to be dead.

And if Jin Rusong was here – here, in the rendezvous point where Xue Yang put those of his prospective victims that happened to be a little too young for even him to stomach killing, at least without the personal grudge that had driven him to slaughter the Chang clan in its entirety – that meant only one thing.

Jin Guangyao had ordered his own son to be murdered.

Through demonic cultivation, no less, which was a pretty nasty way to go. There was a reason everyone implicitly countenanced Jiang Cheng’s vendetta against demonic cultivators no matter where they were, even when he ignored all territory lines and forgot to not ask for permission – the things a demonic cultivator gone bad could do were just so much worse than what anyone else could that they couldn’t risk any delay in dealing with the problem.

Well, shit, Nie Huaisang thought, even as he comforted Jin Rusong, petting the toddler’s back to try to get him to calm down. What do I do now?

-

“There has to be a reason,” Nie Huaisang insisted. “He’s not rabid. Songsong was his son!”

“Sect Leader Nie, we can’t find anything that might explain it.”

“Look harder. I don’t care how minor it is, I want to know everythingto do with Songsong. Every little detail – every person who saw him – every medical report, every compliment, every good grade –”

“He placed last in one of his classes,” one of his spies volunteered.

“What?”

“He placed last in one of his classes. About two months before his ‘assassination’, and shortly before his father started collecting evidence against the other sects that were in his way, which he later used to ‘prove’ that they had been involved in the alleged murder.”

“He wouldn’t kill his son for failing a class,” one of the others objected. “The kid’s barely more than a baby. What’s he expecting, genius from birth?”

“He’s a genius himself. Why not?”

“If everyone inherited everything directly from their parents, he’d be a whore.”

“He’d be a Jin. They’ve all got that nose, every one of them…”

“I heard he’s having the other Jin bastards killed. All of them, even the women…”

Something snapped in Nie Huaisang’s hands.

They all turned to look at him.

“Investigate Qin Su,” he said, looking down at the mess of wood and paper that had once been a fan. “Come to think of it, she has a Jin nose, too.”

-

“I don’t want to go!”

“I don’t want you to go, either,” Nie Huaisang said, feeling tired and also much more in sympathy with his poor older brother than he’d ever been while Nie Mingjue had been alive. “But you disobeyed me, and that means we don’t have a choice. You have to go.”

Nie Songsong looked down at the ground, his lip quivering. “I didn’t mean to…”

“You did,” Nie Huaisang said. “You have to own your decisions, Songsong. You can’t take them back once they’re done, no matter what the consequences. Not even if you feel bad, but definitely not because you feel bad for having to pay for what you did.”

“But…”

“No, Songsong. You cannot be in the Unclean Realm when – when he’s here.”

Nie Songsong hung his head.

“He’s not your father anymore,” Nie Huaisang said. “You know that, right?”

Nie Songsong nodded.

Nie Huaisang sighed and held out his hands, and his arms were full of a teary-eyed child a moment later.

“He loved you once,” Nie Huaisang murmured into his child’s hair. “I love you now. I wish I could give you more than that – I wish I could give you an answer, tell you why he didn’t love you enough to keep from doing what he did. But I can’t. All I can do…”

Is what I’m already doing.

“You’re enough, er-ge,” Nie Songsong whispered back. “You’re enough. I promise.”

-

“When will I get to go night-hunting?”

“You go night-hunting all the time,” Nie Huaisang grumbled. “You’re a fraction my age, and already my height, my weight, yet you wield a saber like my brother was around to raise you properly. You’re ruining my reputation, you know; now no one will believe that my incompetence comes from how short I am…”

“Not night-hunting with the rest of the sect, er-ge,” Nie Songsong said, rolling his eyes. “With other juniors!”

“Not long now,” Nie Huaisang said, looking down at the paper beneath his hands. It was all finally coming together. “Not long now. Just give er-ge a little more time to finish taking care of matters for da-ge, and you’ll be able to go night-hunting with anyone you like.”

-

“Er-ge! Are you all right? You look so pale…”

“I’m sorry,” Nie Huaisang whispered. “Songsong – I’m sorry. I’m so sorry –”

“What happened? Are you injured?” Nie Songsong demanded, already starting to pat him over, looking for wounds. “Er-ge, what’s wrong –”

“Your mother’s dead.”

Nie Songsong’s hands stilled.

“I told her about your heritage,” Nie Huaisang said, his lips numb. He’d never tried to hide it from Nie Songsong, although he’d introduced the subject very gradually and only once he thought that he’d be able to handle the revelation. “About your father – your grandfather. What they did. I wanted her to be angry at him, to turn against him, to distract him…instead, she killed herself.”

“Er-ge…”

“I shouldn’t have told her. If I knew –”

“Er-ge.”

“I should have brought her in earlier – told her about you surviving – I kept her from you for years –”

“Er-ge!”

Nie Huaisang looked at the child he had raised as a little brother the way his older brother had raised him, a father in everything but name, and who he had the constant feeling of having failed.

He wondered, as he always did, whether his brother had felt the same about him.

“Er-ge, it’s all right,” his little brother, his adopted son, said, and took his hands in his. “It’s all right. You tried, remember? Time after time, you tried to talk to her, but every single time you concluded that she would’ve told her husband instead of trusting you. She would’ve ruined everything. If she did that, I’d be dead all over again, and you with me.”

That had been what Nie Huaisang had concluded. That was why he’d never told her.

But…

“She’s your mother.”

“And you’re my er-ge. As long as you don’t die on me, too, it’ll be all right. Okay? It’ll be all right. It’ll be worth it in the end.”

Nie Huaisang shook his head. He’d already done so much, caused so much chaos and strife, and yet this moment – this was the step too far.

This was the first time he realized that he wasn’t sure he believed that it would be worth it anymore.

But by now…what else was left to do? There were no ways out of the plan he’d made himself; he’d designed it that way on purpose, because he’d known that if there was a way out, that snake would find a way to slither through it. He just hadn’t thought that he would be the one looking for it.

It didn’t matter.

He had to keep going.

His older brother deserved it, even if the younger one didn’t.

-

“I represent the Nie sect,” the young man – just about their age, though shorter than either of them – said with a smile. He seemed kind, gentle and polite, easy-going, but Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui looked at each other, and then at Jin Ling, who just scowled. “Can I come in?”

“Were you even invited?” Jin Ling asked in bitten off words. He was still bitter about some of the things that had happened in the Guayin Temple a month before, and of all them the one he was most bitter about was his second uncle’s retreat into seclusion – they were all upset about that.

“But it’s a discussion conference,” the young man said, blinking in confusion. “We’re a Great Sect. Why wouldn’t we be invited?”

In the face of such profound ignorance, there really wasn’t very much they could say, and eventually Lan Sizhui stepped forward with a smile, welcoming the young man – Nie Songsong, he introduced himself – into the Cloud Recesses.

Everything seemed fine for a little while. Lan Sizhui was able to talk to the people in charge of arranging juniors into finding another place for Nie Songsong to stay, although it would be a little delayed – Nie Songsong assured them that there was no issue – and as recompense they even showed him, at his request, a few of the main landmarks.

And then they turned around and their guest had disappeared.

“I knew he was up to no good!” Jin Ling exclaimed.

“Don’t jump to conclusions,” Lan Sizhui told him.

“I’m with Jin Ling,” Lan Jingyi said. “He seemed so nice and understated – just like you know –”

“Don’t talk about my little uncle,” Jin Ling hissed at him. “I know it’s true, but just – don’t, okay?”

“We should find where he went,” Lan Sizhui decided.

It took them a while, but in the end they found him in the most unexpected place: in the rooms their sect leader had chosen for his seclusion, sitting on the bed with Lan Xichen’s head on his shoulder, sobbing as if his heart had been broken.

“What are you doing?” Lan Sizhui exclaimed, unnerved even out of his own habitual politeness.

“I came to greet my uncle,” Nie Songsong said, his manner just as gentle and polite as it had been from the beginning, although it was now evident that he was as stubborn as a rock and not easy-going at all.

“Your uncle?” Lan Jingyi gaped. “How can he be your uncle?”

“You’re Sect Leader Nie’s son!” Jin Ling accused.

“I’m Sect Leader Nie’s little brother by adoption,” Nie Songsong corrected. “It’s through my father that he’s my uncle – and you my cousin, I suppose.”

“Your – father?”

“Oh, yes. My birth name, you see,” Nie Songsong said, “was Jin Rusong.”

-

“Why did you choose to reveal yourself?” Lan Sizhui asked. “Given that everyone knows – well –”

Nie Songsong finished the character he was writing and put down his brush. “Wondering if you should let it be known that you were born with the surname Wen?”

Lan Sizhui jerked in surprise, then flushed. “How did you – that didn’t come out in Guanyin Temple.”

“No, I knew it before,” Nie Songsong said. “My er-ge is very clever, you know.”

“Yes, I suppose I do...why do you call him brother? Shouldn’t he be uncle, or – or –”

“Uncle is probably right,” Nie Songsong said. “But he raised me like a son, just as his brother did for him.”

Lan Sizhui looked down at his hands.

“Why did he publicly reveal your background, knowing that you were still around?” he asked again. “Everyone will know. Who your father was, all those terrible things he did, his relationship with your mother –”

“Why shouldn’t he? He did do all those things, and he did have that relationship with my mother.”

“But what about you? What about your reputation –”

“Are you planning on sweeping Wen Ruohan’s grave?”

Lan Sizhui stared at him.

“He’s your grandfather, isn’t he?” Nie Songsong looked calmly back at him. “Who he was, all those terrible things he did –”

“That’s nothing to do with me!”

“And the crimes of my father are nothing to do with me. My er-ge gave me his surname, just as Hanguang-jun gave you his, and for the same reason – to cut us off from the sins of our original family.”

“I suppose that’s true. But – no one knew about you, just as no one knew about me until I told them, and I only told them because they were my friends. Why’d you tell us? Aren’t you worried we’d tell more people?”

“Of course I am,” Nie Songsong said. “I hope you don’t, of course, but you would’ve found out regardless – second uncle wasn’t exactly subtle in his grief. And I had to tell him.”

“Why? To bring him out of seclusion?” Lan Sizhui hesitated. “Do you care so much for him?”

“Of course not. The last time I met him, I was a small child, and my father was just about to order me murdered; that’s not much of a basis to build a relationship. But having him lock himself away like that, as if he were in mourning…it hurt er-ge. And I won’t let anything hurt my er-ge. Anything, or anyone.”

They looked at each other for a long moment.

“I understand,” Lan Sizhui said.

“I’m glad you do,” Nie Songsong said, and then smiled. “I would’ve had to escalate to threats next, and I’m given to understand that I’m too short to really pull them off properly.”

Lan Sizhui snorted. “I think we’ve all learned that that’snot true.”

-

“Should we talk about this?” Jin Ling asked, arms crossed over his chest and glaring.

“What do you want to talk about?” Nie Songsong replied.

“How about the fact that your father tried to kill me?”

“Sure. Can we talk about the fact that you got all of his affection for years and years after he tried to kill me?”

Jin Ling blanched.

“I wonder if he would’ve gotten me a dog, too,” Nie Songsong mused. “I was too young for that when he ordered his demonic cultivator to feed me to fierce corpses and have my body ravaged until it was barely recognizable…but sure, let’s talk about how he tried to kill you.”

“I was talking about Sect Leader Nie!”

“Well, then, you should have been more specific. Sect Leader Nie’s my brother, not my father.”

“He’s a whole generation older than you!”

“My little uncle, then.”

Jin Ling flinched. “That’s worse. Go back to calling him your brother.”

Nie Songsong shrugged. “Would it help if we fought?”

“…what?”

“It makes me feel better, sometimes. Besides, I may be short, but I’m pretty good with the saber. I bet I could match your sword…maybe not your arrows. But I’ve always wanted to try.”

Jin Ling looked at him suspiciously for a long moment.

“Okay,” he finally said. “Sure. Why not?”

-

“I really hate that you’re kind of cool,” Lan Jingyi told him.

“I am so cool,” Nie Songsong said, and passed him another jar of wine. “Want to see my spring book collection?”

“…yes please.”

-

“Thank you for taking care of him,” Lan Xichen said to Nie Huaisang, who shrugged. “I’m sorry that you couldn’t trust me to help.”

“It’s only what I should have done,” Nie Huaisang said, not for the first time. He’d said it so often these past few days that it felt like a new refrain, an alternative to the old I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. He preferred the original. “I was his little uncle, remember? I held him on his first month party. How could I do any less?”

He did not say that Lan Xichen, who could be classified as Jin Rusong’s older uncle, had done much less, but from Lan Xichen’s expression, he’d taken it that way anyway.

“You never…” Lan Xichen hesitated. “Did you ever have any – concerns?”

“That he’d turn out an idiot? No. I figured he’d be in good company, with me.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Oh, you meant whether I was worried that he’d grow up longing for his blood family over his adopted family and turn against me in favor of his real father?” Nie Huaisang asked mildly. “No, not really. The memory of your father ordering you to be mauled by fierce corpses and to make sure your face is destroyed so that there’s a reason to refuse to let your mother see the body, as it would only upset her, is a fairly effective panacea against things like that.”

“No,” Lan Xichen said, though he looked sick all over again at the reminder of how considerate Jin Guangyao could be when it came to those he thought of as people, and how monstrous he was towards those he didn’t. “No, just – your brother always took such a hard line against the Wen sect…”

“Because they were raised with the philosophy that they were superior to the rest of us and my brother purposefully made himself into the symbol of their fallibility, thereby making himself and all the rest of us the primary target for their traumatic realization that they’re just as weak and vulnerable as everyone else,” Nie Huaisang said, rolling his eyes. “Our Nie sect cultivators were always especially targeted whenever we were captured – our survival rate as prisoners of war was less than half all the other sects, and it wasn’t just because we were usually more injured when we got caught. Even the civilians surnamed Wen would pull out knives and try to stab us in the back if they had half a chance! We were in a blood feud with them, er-ge. You don’t put down blood feuds just like that, not even if you want to. That’s not how it works.”

Lan Xichen nodded slowly, thoughtful.

“Anyway, Songsong is mine now,” Nie Huaisang said. “Just as Lan Sizhui is your brother’s, and Jin Ling Jiang Cheng’s. Can’t we all just agree to not care about the rest?”

“I suppose we have to,” Lan Xichen said, bowing his head. “Huaisang…did you ever think about what happens now? I mean – what should we do next?”

“I don’t know,” Nie Huaisang said, and smiled humorlessly when Lan Xichen looked at him. “I’m not joking. I didn’t know what to do when I got Songsong for the first time, er-ge, and I don’t know what to do now, either. I just wanted to see justice done for my da-ge, and I did, and for the rest – I don’t know.”

“That’s fine,” Lan Xichen said. “I don’t know, either.”

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Nie Huaisang thought. Spine as steel as your saber.

“Would you like to come visit the Unclean Realm sometime?” he asked, pretending to be casual. “Perhaps we can figure out what we don’t know together. If you like.”

“…perhaps I will,” Lan Xichen said.

[cherryobx]

𝐋𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 || 𝐑.𝐂 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

requested?: yes

summary: Rafe finds your diary and all the letters addressed to him.

warnings: language, invasion of privacy (reading someone's diary), tiny bit of fluff in the end

WC: 1.4k

-GIF CREDIT @starkey-babie -

Opening up to people is one of the scariest things in the world for a lot of people. The thought of someone knowing your deepest darkest thoughts makes your stomach turn.

It's not like you didn't want to open up to your boyfriend more. It was that you didn't know how to. How does one just talk about what they really feel? It seemed weird to just bring the topic up over dinner or when golfing. Was there a right time? And was the right time ever going to come?

At the beginning of your relationship with Rafe you started writing letters to him in your diary. You weren’t sure if you were ever going to show them to him but that was the only way you could say what you wanted to say without actually saying it out loud.

For months, as your relationship grew more and more, you kept writing letters addressed to him. You kept your diary so hidden that sometimes you even forgot where you had put it. You didn’t want to risk anyone ever seeing it. Those were your personal thoughts. The ones you’d never want anyone other than yourself to read.

One night, you and Rafe had planned to go out to a party, just to let loose for the night and have fun. You were in such a hurry doing your hair and make-up that you had forgotten your diary on your bedroom table. Literally an open book.

“Babe?” Rafe entered your room without knocking. He never did so. Why would he if there were high chances of seeing you naked or getting dressed.

“In the bathroom,” you yelled, trying not to mess your eyeliner up. You were so close to getting both of the wings to look even.

Usually he would hop onto your bed to wait for you but this time, seeing the open notebook on the table, he was intrigued to sit behind the table. He recognized your handwriting as his eyes scanned the pages in front of him.

“What the fuck?” he quietly mumbled as he started flipping through the pages, seeing his own name on top of many of them. He started reading the most recent one of them all.

Dear Rafe,

It’s our 6 months anniversary today. Wow it really has already been that long. But it’s kind of hard to believe so much time has passed because whenever I’m with you time just stops. It’s like we’re living in our own little bubble at our own pace. And I like that about us. But the thing is, I still don’t know how to really open up to you. I want to tell you how beautiful you look when you first wake up, messy hair and morning voice and all. I want to tell you that hearing your laugh makes me instantly happy. I want to tell you that when you look at me I go weak in the knees. I want to tell you that your smile is my favourite thing in the whole world. I want to tell you how much better you make my life, how I care about you more than anyone else. I want to tell you how happy you really make me. I want to tell you how much I really love you. I want to tell you so many things but it’s like my mind just goes blank whenever I try to do that. I feel like I should be able to do that. But why can’t I? It’s keeping me up at night. Maybe one day I’ll be able to tell you all of this. Hopefully before it’s too late. I love you, Rafe, much more than you’ll ever know.

Yours truly,

Y/N

“Do you really go weak in the knees when I look at you?” he asked, a small smirk on his lips.

Your eyes widened in horror. The eyeliner in your hands fell into the sink, drawing a few black lines onto the white ceramic.

Slowly, you walked out of the bathroom. Your heart was beating so fast it was about to give out. When he said those words, you knew exactly where he had gotten them from. Your mind was running a million miles an hour, all of the worst case scenarios popping up.

He sat on your chair, feet up on the table and your diary in his hands.

For a moment you were absolutely speechless, you didn’t know how to react. This is exactly what you had been trying to avoid all this time. And now it was all happening.

“What the fuck, Rafe?” your voice barely a whisper, tears already forming in your eyes.

Then you screamed. “What the fuck?”

He winced at the tone and loudness of your voice.

“Why would you do that, Rafe. That’s personal. You have no right to just read someone else’s diary. What the fuck is wrong with you?” The tears falling down your cheeks ruined your make-up completely but you didn’t care even a little bit in that moment.

He placed the notebook back on the table and stood up. He tried to hug you but you stepped back.

“Don’t fucking touch me right now!”

The severity of the situation had finally reached him. He had fucked up, majorly. He should’ve never even looked at what you wrote in that notebook.

“Y/N…”

“No, no, no! Shut up! Do you have any idea how wrong of you that was? That was an invasion of privacy. Those are the things that I never want anyone to see. And then you fucking do that shit?”

“But it was just sitting right there and I saw my name. I’m so sorry, Y/N. Please.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “That doesn’t fucking mean you can just read that! Oh my God.”

You felt like your legs were going to give out so you sat onto your bed and hid your face in your hands. He sat beside you but kept his distance. He might’ve acted like an asshole but he still wanted to respect your wishes. Even though he had just read your diary, which had definitely been off-limits.

You both sat there for a few minutes in silence before you spoke up.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“It’s okay, you had every right to.”

You scooted closer to him and wrapped your arms around his torso, hiding your face in his chest. Cautiously, he wrapped his arms around you as well.

“I’ve never known how to talk about what I feel or what I think. I don’t know, it’s just really hard for me, I guess. When I met you and we started dating, I started writing letters to you. It was the only way for me to get it all out of my system. I never meant to actually send them to you or show them to you.”

You took a break since your voice started quivering. You took a couple of deep breaths in an attempt to calm yourself down.

“And what you did was wrong. It was fucked up. But...the letters were addressed to you so I’m not going to hold it against you. But don’t you ever fucking touch my diary without my permission ever again or it’s gonna be last thing that you do.”

He chuckled lightly and placed a kiss on your forehead. “I promise.”

“Now, how about we stay here tonight and I’ll let you read a few of those letters?” you offered, pulling away just enough to look him in the eyes.

“Are you sure?” He placed his hands on your cheeks as he gently wiped away the tears with his thumbs.

“I mean you already read one so a couple more are not gonna hurt me. Plus, I think you deserve to know how I really feel about you since I haven’t been able to actually tell you.”

“Then okay, sure.”

“And, I promise I’ll try to start saying these things to you in person. It's probably gonna take time for me to completely open up to you like that but I’ll try to get there.”

“And I’ll be here for every step of the way.”

Outer Banks taglist: @taylathornton @jjmaybanksbaby @maybanksslut @dirtytissuebox

Rafe Cameron taglist: @teenwaywardasgardian @canibeoneofthepogues @vintageobx @nehireerdogan @samlovessylvie @noellesideas @tomhardybby @drewstarkeysbitchh @in-my-body-bag

(couldn't tag the crossed out ones for some reason)

[nix-the-cryptid]

Actions Have Consequences

Professor AU! Heisenberg x Gender Neutral! AFAB! Reader

Part three of my series

WARNING!! 18+ NSFW

Tags: Punishment, misuse of rulers, praise, on top of a desk, minor overstimulation, minor orgasm denial

Summary: Y/n ends up getting punished for some avoidable mistakes. But, it may or may not end up working out in the end.  

During class, Y/n’s mind kept going back to what Mr. Heisenberg had said about “disciplinary actions” and having to work on Y/n’s “listening skills.” If they were honest, y/n was a little nervous. Heisenberg was known for being harsh on students who didn’t follow the rules or do their work properly. Getting yelled at by him was not something you admitted to freely. But, with how their relationship was working out, y/n realized that their “punishment” may end up being a bit different.

Thinking on their relationship over the past little while had y/n thinking about a lot of stuff. Ever since that first time together, almost two weeks ago, they almost always ended up having sex after class. Not that y/n minded, of course. But was that all there was between them? What would happen when classes were done for the year? Y/n graduated this year, too, so then what? The thought of never getting to spend time with Mr. Heisenberg like that made y/n’s heart sink harder than they realized. They enjoyed Professor Heisenberg’s company and it was becoming obvious they wanted more out of the relationship. But they doubted it would go over well if they brought this up with him. Y/n doubted that Mr. Heisenberg would want to commit himself to such a relationship with a student. The pain in y/n’s gut deepened at this thought, a lump catching in their throat as they felt like wanting to cry. Y/n quickly shook their head of the thought, coming back to reality.

Apparently, the class was meant to take some notes on whatever Mr. Heisenberg had presented but, just as y/n came to, it was over, and they hadn’t written down a single thing. Chances were Mr. Heisenberg most likely noticed at some point but didn’t say anything.

“Alright, now that we’ve gotten through that,” He exclaimed, grabbed his things from the desk. “Let’s head to the shop and work on those practical assignments. Maybe get them done today, yeah?” Y/n groaned as they began packing their things, noticing that there was still a whole 50 minutes left of class.  2pm simply could not come fast enough. They soon followed Mr. Heisenberg out the door and down to the lab, almost wanting to walk beside him but deciding against so as to not draw too much attention to themselves. Mr. Heisenberg was wearing a black t-shirt today, but like always, it was just a bit too tight on him. Y/n saw, just at the base of Heisenberg’s neck were some faint red marks. Squinting a bit to get a closer look, y/n soon realized that they had left those marks a couple days ago. They blushed furiously at this thought, wondering how many of the others might have noticed those marks at any point and if anyone had asked about them.

 “Hey, y/n!” One of the other students, Leon, called out. He was one of the better students in the class and was nice enough. His voice startled y/n out of their staring at Mr. Heisenberg. He and Y/n had been working together on the current assignment. “Do anything fun last night?” Y/n had to suppress a small noise at this question, a small blush forming on their face. ‘yeah, totally! I got railed by Professor Heisenberg in the shop after class!’ they thought to themselves.

 “Uh, no,” They laughed awkwardly, rubbing their neck. Leon’s face sank a bit at this. “Not really. I just went home and did some studying.” Leon just nodded. “I don’t go out much. And of course, by the time I get home and finish any work, I’m just too tired to really do anything.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Leon agreed. He then glanced at Professor Heisenberg for a bit before smirking. “Ya know, whoever left those scratch marks on his neck there,” He whispered to y/n making them blush deeply. “They’re one lucky fuckin bitch.”

 “Well, I’ll be sure to let them know, Leon.” Heisenberg smirked, making Leon let out a squeak of embarrassment. Y/n did their best to stifle their laughter as Heisenberg unlocked the doors to the shop, letting everyone else enter.

 “Well,” Leon exclaimed. “I can never look our Prof in the eye ever again!” y/n chuckled at this before blushing a bit more. ‘If only you knew,’ they thought. ‘If only you fucking knew.’

  “Yo, Sir!!” Another student exclaimed. “Whose car is that?!!” Y/n furrowed their brow before noticing the Cadillac at the back of the shop. ‘funny, wonder who’s that is. It kinda looks like- OH NO!’ y/n’s brows shot up and their eyes widened. That was Professor Heisenberg Series 62, uncovered meaning y/n had forgot to cover it the night before like they were supposed to. ‘shitshitshit’ They looked over to Mr. Heisenberg, who had also gone wide eyed at the sight. ‘Now I’m really in for it after class.’ Heisenberg shot them a hard glare, signaling his disappointment at the scene. However, he quickly masked it before turning to the student who had noticed it.

“Ah, that beauty?” Heisenberg sighed. “She’s all mine! Brought her to get her working again. Didn’t have the equipment needed back home.” Professor Heisenberg explained. “Bitch needed a whole new engine, practically.” Y/n could feel the jealousy building with each word. Heisenberg looked at them and must’ve noticed as his expression softened a little. Y/n then watched a number of students rush over. ‘They’re gonna ruin the paint!’ Now y/n was angry. Not just with their classmates but with themselves for not putting the cover back on. 

 “Uh sir,” A female student piped up. “There’s a dent in the hood…” y/n’s eyes went wide. They knew exactly what that dent was from. Seeing Heisenberg’s face showed that he also realized what it was from. 

 “I must’ve been so busy repairing the engine, I must not have fucking noticed!” He laughed nervously. Y/n watched as Heisenberg blushed at this, their own blush forming as they tried not to laugh.

  “Well, do you need any help with it, sir?” Leon asked.

“NO!” Heisenberg blurted out, rather fast and loud. Y/n let out a chuckle at this. “No, I’m close to being done. But you all could do better on your tests, I wouldn’t spend as much time having to mark them!” The class let out a collective groan, except for y/n. The pang of jealousy still sat heavy in their gut. And meeting Heisenberg’s gaze showed that they weren’t doing too well at hiding it. His stare was intense and dominating. Y/n lessened their pout a bit, but they were still upset with themselves over not covering the car and having everyone see it.

 ————————

 “Alright see you Monday, everyone!” Mr. Heisenberg called out as everyone got up to leave. Y/n hung back, taking their time to clean up. 

 “Hey, y/n!” Leon called out, as he threw his bag over his shoulder. “I was meant to ask you if you wanted to hang out. A few of us are getting together at my place for the afternoon.”  Y/n stammered a little, watching Professor Heisenberg pack up his own things. He glanced up, waiting for y/n’s answer. “I can give you a ride if you need. I know you walk to school and all so… It wouldn’t be any trouble.” As much as y/n knew they should socialize with their classmates, today was the absolute worst day to have been asked. They would’ve said yes but, they also didn’t want to be in anymore trouble with Mr. Heisenberg, no matter how enjoyable the punishment really would be.

        “Uh, actually,” y/n started. “I’ve got another class today, so I’ll pass.” They looked back to Heisenberg to see him give another glance before continuing packing his things. Leon must’ve noticed this because he cocked a brow at y/n.

      “I thought this was your last class,” He pondered.

        “One of my other classes had to be moved to the afternoons recently.” Y/n lied. Leon’s expression neutralized at this, meaning he accepted it.

“Oh, okay. Maybe next time.” The other student shrugged. He then headed out of the class. Y/n let out a shaky breath before they turned back to their things and finished packing, hearing Mr. Heisenberg approach. They stiffened a bit but continued what they were doing.

 “I’m disappointed, y/n,” he stated, coming to lean against y/n’s station. “First, you don’t listen before class. Then, I found out you didn’t cover the convertible?” Y/n hung their head in shame. 

“I’m sorry, sir.” They replied, keeping their head bowed but peeking up at their professor. “I completely forgot to cover the car last night.” They heard Heisenberg scoff.

“You know I was going to wait until we got back to the classroom but after this, well, shit.” Heisenberg grabbed a hold of y/n’s chin, forcing them to look at him, smirking. “It looks like we’ll just have to settle things right. Fucking. Here.” Y/n gulped, slightly nervous about what was coming. “Get in my office. Now.” Heisenberg let go y/n’s face roughly and pointed to the office. “Go on.” With that, Y/n quickly headed to the small room, Professor Heisenberg close behind. “You’re normally such a good student, too. I’m shocked that you’d let yourself slip like this.”

  “It won’t happen again, Mr. Heisenberg,” Y/n whined.

 “Apologies aren’t gonna get you out of trouble that fucking easily, y/n.” Heisenberg growled as they entered the office. He made a show of slamming the office door shut and locking it. He also closed the blinds to the door but not the other windows. “So, we need to work on those listening skills of yours.”

“How?” Y/n asked sheepishly. Heisenberg just grinned as he took a seat in his office chair and began piling the rest of his papers together on the desk.

“Well, first, you’re gonna strip.” He ordered. Y/n made quick work of their clothes, watching Professor Heisenberg clear everything off the desk. They hadn’t noticed before, but the desk was metal, which meant the cold air from the AC in the shop had chilled it, even with everything on top of it. When Heisenberg finished, he turned to y/n and simply stared for a moment, taking in their naked body. Y/n shifted slightly, keeping eye contact with their professor. “Eager to please, as always.” Mr. Heisenberg chuckled. “Bend over the desk. Now. And pass me that ruler while you’re at it.” Y/n looked to the wooden ruler hanging next to the desk. Their eyes went wide when they realized what Heisenberg was planning on doing. Y/n simply passed the ruler to the professor and slowly leaned themselves over the desk. They winced a bit at the cold metal against their skin. However, the shiver that down their spine was not from the cold. Heisenberg chuckled at this, bringing a hand to their ass and began massaging it a bit. “You know what, hands behind your back. C’mon.” Y/n complied with haste. As they did this, Heisenberg’s hand left their ass. But before y/n could make any sound to protest, they heard the sound of Heisenberg undoing his belt. Turning to see just what he was doing, Y/n watched as Mr. Heisenberg stood up, took the ruler in his teeth, and used his belt to tie y/n’s wrists together. The leather of the belt bit into their skin just a bit, making y/n hiss a bit. They then looked up at Heisenberg to see him take hold of the ruler again, smirking. “You look so fucking nice like this, y/n! Now, I want to hear you count, got it?” Y/n nodded, gulping.

“Understood, sir!” Y/n blurted out. SMACK! “AHH! ONE!!” Y/n cried out, both in pleasure and pain. The force was brutal and sent them forward a bit, which made their nipples rub against the cold metal of the desk. This intensified the pool of arousal in their gut. SMACK! “TWO!!” Y/n sobbed.

 “Ya know, maybe I should’ve let some of the other students help with the car,” Heisenberg mused, letting the ruler rest against the sore cheek. “Would’ve saved you some trouble.” He lifted the ruler up, waiting a bit.

 “But sir-“ SMACK! SMACK! “AAAHH! THREEEEEFFFFOUR!” Y/n felt tears stinging their eyes. The arousal building up from this was growing fast. SMACK! “FIVE! Fuuuccckkk!” They heard Heisenberg laugh behind them. He then grabbed their tied hands and bent over them.

 “Or would that have just pissed you off, kitten?” He growled in their ear. They whimpered as Professor Heisenberg pressed against their back, his hard cock rubbing up along their back. y/n let out a whine at the feeling. “All those students messing with your hard work, putting their fucking fingers all over the paint? I saw your face when everyone rushed over to it.” Heisenberg lifted himself back off of y/n, who groaned at the loss of contact. Suddenly, Heisenberg was rubbing the cheek slowly, as if trying to soothe the pain. “Ready to continue?” He asked, his voice somewhat gentle.

         “Yes Mr-“ SMACK! “HEISENBERG!! FUCK, SIX!!” Now he was focusing on the left cheek. The tears that had welled in y/n’s eyes fell, finally as they lurched forward from the force of the hit. SMACK! “JESUS!! SE-“ SMACK! “-VENNNNEIGHT!!!” Y/n was full on crying, the pained pleasure causing the arousal in their gut to become a bit too much. Y/n felt themselves clench around nothing, their slick just soaking their folds and the insides of their thighs. SMACK! “NINE! FFFUUUCCKK MEEEEE!!!” Y/n sobbed, feeling themselves right on the edge of their orgasm.

 “Oh?” Heisenberg purred, resting the ruler against their ass. “Is something wrong, Y/n?” Heisenberg knew exactly what was wrong. But watching y/n squirm and try to choke out an answer was too fun.

“Please sir, I’m so-“ SMACK!!! “CLLLOOSEEEFUCK!” Heisenberg slammed the ruler hard against both cheeks, with more force than the last ones. They screamed at this, so close to finishing and yet not close enough. It was almost torture. “TENNNNNNNN” Y/n sobbed, tears streaming down their face. They then heard the ruler be tossed to the side somewhere. Y/n then moved to push themselves off the desk as best they could when Mr. Heisenberg pushed their head back down. He then shoved his hand in between their legs, landing on y/n’s clit. “SIRRRRR” The screamed as he began to harshly rub the oversensitive bud. However, this only lasted a little bit, before Heisenberg pulled away. Y/n sobbed, merely wanting to come now.

 “Shit, you really did enjoy that, huh?”  Y/n could only whine in response “You did good, kitten.” He mused, untying their hands. “But we’re not done yet.” Y/n let out another whimper. “Sit up and face me.”  Y/n then braced themselves and pushed up off the desk, their legs barely able to keep them upright. They then shifted themselves around to face Professor Heisenberg. As they went to sit, the cold metal against their raw cheeks stung fiercely. They shrieked at the feeling, which then turned in to a pained whimper. “Aww, is it cold against your bruised ass? Well, you’ll just have to endure it for a bit longer.” With that, Y/n watched as Professor Heisenberg began stripping, his pace slow. It was like he was putting on a show for y/n, who could only squirm against the cold desk. “Damn, what a fucking sight you are.” He growled as he slowly removed his shirt. “I’m still reeling from Leon’s comment earlier too.” He joked. Y/n blushed as they remembering what their classmate had noticed. “Part of me, a very evil part me, wanted to implicate that it wasn’t just anyone who left those marks.” Y/n whined, squirming more. “Bet that would’ve been quite the punishment on its own.” Heisenberg slipped off his boxers, stepping out of them and approaching y/n. “Oh, you know I would never do that to you, Kitten.” He purred, moving close to y/n, leaning over them to kiss them. His hand then made its way down to y/n’s pubic mound, his fingers slipping between their folds. Y/n moaned loudly at this, bracing themselves against Mr. Heisenberg as he began to run his fingers up and down their cunt, just missing their clit. They were extremely sensitive down there, as they had yet to come still. Heisenberg made quick work of their folds and clit, rubbing fiercely. “Come for me y/n.” With that, Y/n screamed out in pure pleasure, coming hard and drenching Heisenberg’s hand in their juices. Once they had started to come down, Heisenberg gently grabbed their waist and brought them both over to the chair taking a seat, placing y/n in his lap facing him. Once they did, he gently grabbed their ass and began massaging them. “How do you feel, y/n?” He purred as y/n wrapped their arms around his neck and rested their head against his chest.

 “A bit sore,” Y/n whined slightly. "But, you seem to be in need of some relief.” Y/n purred as they attempted to push back against Heisenberg’s dick. The man groaned at this feeling, squeezing y/n’s ass a bit to keep them still. Heisenberg could see the exhaustion starting to take a hold of y/n but the feeling of their drenched cunt against his dick was hard to resist. 

 “I don’t want you to overexert yourself, Buttercup.” Heisenberg’s voice was soft as he went into kiss y/n’s neck. This made y/n hum in pleasure. “I was pretty fucking hard on you.”

 “I want to, sir.” Y/n repositioned themselves over top of him, taking a hold of his dick. They slowly lowered themselves, the slow push hitting every nerve in their cunt. Both y/n and Heisenberg. let out a long and loud moan as they sat themselves down, taking in his full length.

 “God, you feel so good, y/n” Heisenberg hissed, grabbing their waist, and gently lifting them up before pulling them back down, thrusting up a bit. Y/n gasped at the feeling, quickly wrapping their arms around Heisenberg’s neck again. Y/n then matched Heisenberg’s movements, lifting themselves up and coming back down. They felt themselves clench around his member, drawing a moan from his lips. “Fuck!” Suddenly, He grabbed Y/n’s legs and stood up. Y/n shrieked, tightening their hold on Mr. Heisenberg. He placed them back down on the desk, which was still cold, making y/n arch their back from the feeling. “Cold still?” Heisenberg joked, kissing their neck again.

 “Yesss,” Y/n hissed, trying to grind down on Heisenberg’s dick since he wasn’t moving. “Please, sir.” They whined. Heisenberg lifted his head from y/n neck and looked them in the eye before standing up and pulling y/n’s arm off. “Please fuck me.” They begged. Heisenberg smiled as he grabbed onto y/n thighs before pulling almost all the way out and thrusting back in hard. Y/n let out a small scream that quickly turned into a moan as Heisenberg continued slamming into them.

“Always so perfect like this,” Heisenberg grunted, squeezing y/n’s thighs tight enough where there was a slight sting. Y/n whined at the sensation, tossing their head to the side. “Oh no, look at me.” Mr. Heisenberg growled, grabbing a hold of y/n’s chin, and yanking it so they were facing him. This caused y/n to gasp, grabbing onto his wrist. “I want to see those beautiful eyes of yours while I fuck you senseless.” Y/n moaned again, quickly locking their legs around Heisenberg and bringing him closer. As they did this, he took a hold of their waist with his other hand and lifted them up, shifting the angle. This caused his thrusts to hit deeper into y/n, making the pleasure increase. “You love this, don’t you? When I fuck you like this?” He growled, leaning forward a bit and pulling y/n’s face closer.

 “Yes, sir!” Y/n moaned. Heisenberg gave a couple hard thrusts at this answer, drawing the moan out. “I love it when you fuck me, Sir!”

“That’s a good girl,” Heisenberg purred, letting out of y/n’s neck, and moving his hand down their side. “My good little kitten.” This drew another moan from Y/n, enjoying the praise. The hand that had snaked down y/n’s soon made itself known again as Heisenberg began rubbing their clit. The sudden feeling of his hand on their nub drew an incredibly loud gasp from them that then devolved into a whine, seeing as they were still somewhat sensitive there. “All the noises you make are. Just. Fucking. Perfect.” Heisenberg emphasized each of those words with a hard thrust. Y/n’s cunt then clenched hard around his length, making him moan as well, which turned into a small chuckle. “Do you like it when I praise you, Buttercup?” Y/n just nodded, unable to form a coherent enough thought to actually respond. Heisenberg just chuckled before leaning in for another kiss and picking up speed. Y/n mewled into the kiss, the sensation sending them right to the edge again. “Are you about to cum again, y/n?” Heisenberg asked softly, breaking the kiss. Y/n could only moan in response. “Well, then. Go on. Cum. But. Scream. My real name when. You do.” His hips stuttered as he spoke, making the words come out in moans. He then began thrusting even faster, bringing y/n over the edge.

“KAAAARLLL!” Y/n screamed, arching their back as they came. Heisenberg also came at this, thrusting as deep as he could and filling y/n. The warmth of his seed flooding y/n’s insides, making them moan even more. The two remained like that for several minutes as they came down and caught their breath.

“God, that was… shit” Heisenberg said, still somewhat breathless. He slowly pulled out and let go of y/n, pulling a whine from them at the loss. “Think you can stand, Buttercup?” He asked. Y/n lifted their head to look at him, nodding slightly. Heisenberg  offered his hands for them to take and use him as leverage. Y/n sat up with a groan, the feeling of Heisenberg’s seed dripping out being an odd sensation. Professor Heisenberg opened a drawer in the desk and pulled out a small rag, which he then used to wipe up any cum dripping down y/n’s legs. They moaned softly at the feeling, biting their lip, and crossing their arms over their chest. Once he was done, Heisenberg  sat down in the office chair, beaming at y/n. “Come ‘ere, kitten.” Y/n pushed themselves off the desk and wobbled over into Heisenberg’s lap. “You did so well. Listened to everything I asked. A+ performance.” He purred, pulling y/n close to his chest, and stroking their hair.

“Thank you, sir.” They yawned, exhaustion filling their muscles now that the adrenaline from their arousal has subsided. Heisenberg let out a small chuckle, moving his hand down y/n’s back.

 “I told you,” He started, his voice low. “Use my name.” Suddenly, y/n was wide awake. They lifted themselves off of Heisenberg’s chest to look right at him. They were wide eyed, furrowing their brow at his comment. “What’s that fuckin look for, y/n?”

 “Sir, I-“ Y/n stammered. Heisenberg just hushed them, pulling them back to his chest.

 “Shhhh,” He hummed. “Just relax.” The two of them were silent for a good bit after this. It wasn’t tense, however. Simply reveling in each other’s presence. But this time felt different. Their relationship had shifted. Whether it was a good thing or not, only time would tell. Y/n felt the full extent of the exhaustion that had been piling on them, their eyelids growing too heavy to keep open. Another yawn slipped out of them as they snuggled into Heisenberg. He placed another kiss to the top of y/n head and muttered something else they couldn’t quite catch before y/n drifted off.

-------------------------------------------

And there ya have it!! Again, if you have any requests for future chapters, feel free to leave it in my inbox!! And if you wanna be tagged for future fics, just lemme know!!

@stararch4ngell4dy @fredyria @kuronekopirate @weathur @1800shootmeplease

[uwuwriting]

Midoriya, Todoroki and Shinsou being hit by a de-aging quirk

Request: HEY HEY HEYYY! Since I’ve seen you simping over Shinsou and sometimes if not all the time over Todoroki I would like to request the boys getting hit by a deaging quirk and having to be babied by their girlfriendssss. Oh and if you’d like could you add Midoriya in the mix? My boy needs more simps and you are president of the group. -anonymous

I’m in tears from the ask. I’ve been caught simping one too many times and now yall are calling me out. Snitches. SNITCHES GET STITCHES!!! Jk ... unless. Love yaa. 💖💖💖

rules

warnings: mild angst and mentions of trauma/bullying, the majority is fluff though.

Midoriya Izuku

-Baby face™

-You sure you are not looking at his normal face?

-I mean he IS baby and he looks baby.....baby.

-Anyways

-You were on patrol with the hero you were training with when you got called in to deal with an attack. 

-They didn’t give you many details only that the previous heroes that were on the scene were struggling. 

-So once there you started fighting with the villain, dodging his attacks effortlessly until you spotted a puff of green hair. 

-Izuku was here? 

-Why hadn’t you seen him?

-It’s not like him to run from a fight, maybe he’s hurt?

-Calling out to him you dodged the villain again and slid behind the car you saw last saw him and was met with .... a toddler??

-Tears were running down the boys’ face as he was trying to pry a small metal bar from under some debris.

-He looked awfully a lot like you boyfriend and for only a moment you completely forgot about the villain and drowned in the adorableness of the toddler. 

-He was mumbling All Might’s key phrase under his breath adding his own small punchlines. 

-Once the bar was free he raised it in the air with shaky hands and called out, “I’m here! Midoriya Izuku will save you!”

-So that’s what those beams of light do if they hit you. 

-Activating your ear piece you alerted your ‘boss’ that there was a child here and to not get hit by the beams unless you wanted to go back to your toddler days. 

-After assuring you that everything was under control and that you could leave you picked Izuku up and made your way to the school.

-Recovery Girl said that the quirk should ware off in a day or two and until then Aizawa had named you his temporary care taker. 

-In your dorm, Izuku was overly curious. 

-He was opening boxes and drawers, rampaging through your equipment and fawning over your hero costume. 

-He sat down after what felt like an eternity and started bombarding you with questions about your hero studies, your quirk, your technique, your teachers, All Might, your classmates, their quirks, All Might, your favorite hero, the hero you work with, ALL MIGHT.

-It was cute you would give him that but simultaneously he was talking your ear off. 

-And when you told him that All Might was actually one of your teachers?

-You are now taking an impromptu trip to the teachers lounge to visit All Might. 

-Thankfully he’s there and he doesn’t have any classes for the rest of the day so he spends most of his free time with baby Izuku. 

-You are pushed to the side for most of the afternoon until Izuku notices you sitting alone while he plays with All Might and he feels by. 

-Waving goodbye to All Might he waddled over to you and climbed on your lap, giving you a hug and asking what YOU wanted to do. 

-HE IS SO DAMN CUTE EYE-

-You go back to your dorm and spend the rest of your afternoon and night there. 

-You ordered his favorite food and put on a Disney movie. 

-He wouldn’t leave your lap, always staying either between your legs or hugging you. 

-He is such a cuddle bug omg!!!

-You find him adorable and just snuggle him, hugging him harder and kissing his forehead. 

-When it was time for bed he really didn’t want to go to sleep. 

-You may have chased him around your room trying to put on one of his shirts that you had in your room as a pj. 

-You had to tickle him into submission.

-You tucked him in and went to make you own makeshift bed on the floor so you wouldn’t bother him. 

- “Y-Y/N-san c-can you sleep h-here?”

-He was blushing and avoiding your gaze as he waited for you answer. 

-Smiling at him you put on your own pjs *which were a pair of shorts and one of his sweatshirts* and jump under the covers. 

-He snuggled into your chest, giving you a small peck on the cheek and falling asleep in like a second. 

-You were soft to the very soul. 

-You fell asleep rather quickly yourself feeling all warm inside. 

-The next morning you woke up with strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist and steady breathing making a broad chest rise and fall. 

-Izuku squinted at the morning light as you stirred slightly and looked down meeting your hooded eyes. 

- “Thank you princess, for everything.”

Bonus:

“You were an adorable baby you know that?”

“Y/N stop!!!”

“Had me almost yeeting our protection out the window.”

“Y/N!”

Todoroki Shouto

-His dad called you.

 -You were chilling in his dorm waiting for him to come back from his patrol with his dad. 

-You were sick the past few days and didn’t go to your hero studies.

-Shouto had been taking care of you but he had to leave at some point for his own studies. 

-Now Shouto has placed you as his emergency call on his phone along side Fuyumi and Deku. 

-You were the first name on the list and that’s why you were talking with his dad. 

- “Shouto was hit by a quirk while we were out and he is being ....difficult. I would prefer if you come get him I don’t think he would come near me anyways.”

-You heard a small cry in the back and asked immediately for their location. 

-I swear you haven’t gotten ready faster in your life.

-Arriving at the location you were met with.... a sight.

-Standing trembling across from Endeavor was a baby Shouto.

-He didn’t look a day over four, his scar was gone but his eyes were full of fear. 

-Endeavor was looking at him with a small frown on his face. 

-When he spotted you his eyes stayed on what you were wearing before motioning towards Shouto. 

-Look you were staying in YOUR boyfriend’s room surrounded by HIS clothes it was only logical for you to grab one of his hoodies. 

-Making your way to the terrified toddler you crouched down a few paces away from him.

-Giving him a small smile you whispered a shy ‘Hi Sho’ and waited for him to approach you. 

-His dual colored eyes scanned you before glancing back at his father who had turned his back to you and was talking on the phone. 

- “He won’t hurt you while I’m here. I won’t let him Sho I promise.”

-At that his eyes widened further and without warning he launched himself at you wrapping his small arms around your torso, a hiccup leaving his trembling lips. 

- “N-no he w-will hurt you l-like m-mommy *sob* I-I don’t want h-him to h-hurt you.” 

-You carefully brought him into a hug leaving a kiss on the top of his head as you whispered reassurances in his ear. 

-He stopped crying after a while and agreed on coming with you to the dorms. 

- “I’m taking him to UA he will be safe there.”

-You didn’t really wait for a response before scooping him up in your arms and walking off towards the school. 

-Once there you stopped by Aizawa’s room informing him of the situation. 

-He allowed you to take him to his room and stay with him for as long as he is like this.

-In his room you didn’t put him down opting to get everything ready for your Disney marathons while he was still in your arms. 

-All the while Shouto was playing with strands of your hair and asking you small questions about you, your room, your school. 

-He was still shy though, never talking too much and always speaking in a hushed tone. 

-Poor baby was so afraid of everything. 

-Once all was in place, you settled on his bed covering both of you in a blanket while he rested between your legs. 

-During the first movie he sat there his full attention on the screen. 

-By the time you reached the third movie he was becoming restless, looking around the room and ignoring the movie as a whole. 

-Then you heard his stomach rumbling.

- “Why don’t we go make some cold soba hm?”

-You haven’t seen him smile that bright since the moment he turned and it was the cutest most precious sight in the world. 

-While making soba he was rather talkative even going as far as letting out giggles and small laughs.

-He enjoyed his soba and you were happy since you saw him without that petrified glint in his eyes. 

-When it was time for bed he was very obedient, immediately putting on the clothes you had out for him and laying in bed instantly.

-He had made no requests all this time so it surprised you when he tugged at your hoodie sleeve and motioned to the spot beside him with his eyes. 

-Giggling you settled next to him and gave him a small peck on the nose making him scrunch it up. 

- “Goodnight Sho.”

-He was already half asleep when you whispered goodnight.

- “G’night, love you.”

-EVEN HIS MUMBLING WAS SO CUTE!!!

- “I love you too.”

-The next day you woke up alone and if you were being honest you had a mini heart attack.

-Then the door opened and your fully grown boyfriend walked in, tray in hand as the smell of pancakes filled the room. 

- “I can’t thank you enough for yesterday, love.”

-Sitting down next to you he kissed you on the lips, a love struck look on his face.

- “I love you.”

Bonus:

“Seeing you being so motherly had me imagining our kids.”

“Shouto we are 15....”

“I can always steal my dad’s credit card....”

 “......You’ve got a point.”

Shinsou Hitoshi

*BABY BOY WON’T YOU COME MY WAY?????*

-He was training with some of Aizawa’s old coworkers. 

-He didn’t dodge an attack and was hit square in the chest. 

-Now he was buried under a pile of clothes, whimpers leaving his lips. 

-Aizawa went into a panic.....how many kids would he have to adopt?? 

-Now you two are not very vocal about your relationship, borderline keeping it under wraps not wanting to draw much attention to you. 

-But Aizawa is dad and he knows... KNOWS when one of his students has a crush. 

-Especially if it’s a girl since all the girls need an extra dad to scare bad boyfriends away. 

-So he hasn’t missed how you look at each other or how you may have come back into class smelling like Shinsou. 

-He has even seen you in one of Shinsou’s hoodies. 

-If he was being honest he caught you off guard.

-It was like  3 am and you had gotten up to grab a glass of water.

-Aizawa was still up grading some papers and he scared the shit out of you; idk how your screech didn’t wake anyone up. 

-The only comment he made was nice hoodie and you KNEW he had caught a whiff of your relationship. 

-So that’s the reason why Aizawa is now knocking on YOUR door ready to leave a very scared Shinsou in your care. 

-Babysitting......great. 

-Once you opened the door your face contorted into three emotions: fear cause once again you were wearing your boyfriend’s clothes, confusion cause why was there a toddler sized Shinsou in his arms and anxiety cause well your homeroom teacher was standing right outside your bombarded room in which you should have been studying but you could faintly hear the animal crossing music coming from your switch. 

- “Hitoshi was hit by a de-aging quirk and since you two are so....close I’ll leave him with you. Plus I trust you.” 

-And with that he placed baby Shin in your arms and left. 

-You two looked at one another before you let out a small laugh trying to lighten up the mood. 

-Tears formed in the corners of his eyes as he stared at you. 

-Bringing him closer to your chest you started rocking him back and forth humming a tune he would sing to you when you were having a bad day. 

-He calmed down immediately. 

-Like stopped sniffling the moment he heard the tune.

-He started humming along with you and as you pulled him from your chest you wiped away the stray tears giving him another smile in the process. 

-He rested his forehead gently on your own as his small hands came to grab your cheeks. 

-The rest of your time with him was very calm and quiet. 

-He was a very reserved and calm child never making a request or whining. 

-You two colored some outlines you printed and then played a few board games. 

-He got out of his shell when you suggested going for a walk to the park to pet the kitties. 

-He wouldn’t let go of your hand even when he saw the cats and you could feel how excited he was. 

-He was overly attached to you calling you Y/N-chan and even going as far as to say ‘love you’ before his afternoon nap. 

-Your heart was MELTING.

-He was adorable. 

-So cute with his lavender hair standing up even at this age and his violet eyes scanning everything and everyone. 

-He was a blessing. 

-Then he started talking in his sleep and that’s when you realized why he was such a low maintenance child. 

-His whimpers echoed through the dorm as he begged someone to leave him alone. 

-That he wouldn’t use his quirk. 

-That  he wasn’t a villain.

-He had talked to you about his past, how people used to bully him for his quirk or how they would call him a villain. 

-It broke your heart seeing that even at the early age of four he had nightmares of what those kids said to him. 

-Climbing in bed beside him you brought him flush to your chest running a hand through his hair as you peppered his forehead with kisses. 

- “Shhh baby shh. I’m here they can’t hurt you.”

-You fell asleep when he finally stopped crying. 

-When you woke up you were laying flat on Shinsou’s chest his hands running mindlessly up and down your back. 

- “I’m sorry for forcing you to take care of me kitten.”

-Kissing up his neck until you reached his lips you added:

- “You were an angel there’s no need to apologize love.”

-He hugged you incredibly tighter, burying his face in your hair. 

-He was so deeply in love with you words cannot express. 

Bonus:

“Next time I’m not pulling out.”

“Hitoshi what the hell??”

“What? You expect me to see you all motherly and NOT want to get you pregnant as soon as possible?”

“I think someone has a breeding kink.”

“Yeah yeah wait till you see me with a toddler....you’ll be begging me to fill-”

“SHUT UP!!!”

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan​ @the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​

[staynskz]

Making Amends

Pairing: Husband Bangchan x Wife female reader

Genre: angst

Word count: 2.5k

Warning(s): None

 Prologue: You and Chan had dated for some time before deciding it was a good time to marry. You both had children soon after marriage; Aris, your daughter, is 5 years old, and Eli, your son, is 3 years old. You both had a wonderful marriage. Compromises were always made to work around everyone’s schedule, but you were sure to make sure everything was always in order around your home. Sometimes, those compromises were you being too forgiving at times. It was hard, but it could be worse. Chan was always helpful, but there were also times where he overworked and forgot to worry about his responsibilities at home. Those were times that got dark and hard for you.

There were so many blessings in your life: your two children, Aris and Eli, your husband, Chan, and so many more people you’ve gotten to know over the years. Sometimes, life would get in the way, but it was so hard to try and smile through it all. You understood that Chan was busy producing and leading the group, but you also knew that there could’ve been ways around both of your schedules to make time for each other. If you could do it, Chan should be willing to compromise too. You felt like you were giving too much time to everyone else but yourself. It was getting harder and harder every day. Chan kept coming home late and was overworking himself, but you loved him too much to bother to ask for any help. The children were still so young, and you wanted nothing but to watch them grow up. It was too much now. You were overthinking, weren’t you?

 After finishing the dishes, showering the children, and tucking them into their beds, you finally were able to sit on your bed before ending the night by closing your eyes. You couldn’t close your eyes. You didn’t know what tomorrow held. Chan still wasn’t home either. All of the thoughts in your head brought you to tears. You hadn’t cried like this before. You were broken, burnt out, and exhausted. Being a loving mother, doting wife, and friends to others was too much now. You could only keep crying into your hands. It felt like it was nonstop. You weren’t you anymore; you’d changed. Wanting to avoid getting puffy eyes in the morning, you decided to get up and clean your eyes before going to bed. As you looked up, you saw a figure that made you jump from shock. It was Chan. Trying to wipe your tears away before he could see them, you smiled at him saying, “hi babe, you’re home early.” He didn’t say anything. He just stared at you. He knew you were hurting. You always did that. You hid your pain regardless of how much it hurt you to keep it altogether. To avoid the worried stare he had in his eyes, you got up to go to the bathroom. Hurrying past him, you hoped that he wouldn’t say anything about your crying. Chan knew how to read the room. He knew that you didn’t like to talk about anything until you were ready. “Babe…why were you crying?” he asked quietly. Darn it! He asked! Shit! Shit! Shit! What do you say? Turning around, you saw that Chan was still staring at the bed. Before more tears could form, you assured, “I was just watching a really good movie. It touched my heart, so I’m just relaxing from it.” “You don’t cry like that over movies, Y/N…” “Well this just reminded me of a lot of sad stories I’d heard about,” you were doing anything to lie to avoid a scolding from Chan about you not opening up to him about your problems. “Y/N-” “I’m telling the truth, Chan, it’s not that serious-“ was all you could muster before he turned around and stared at you. That stare was like nothing you’ve ever seen before. He was so tired, yet so worried about you as well. His eyebags were dark and bigger than the night before. You just hoped that he would let it slide. You went silent. When Chan looked at you like this, you were unable to lie and say that you were okay. He knew you, inside and out. You were both inseparable-soulmates as some would say. The red string that ties your souls together was being pulled from you both and drawing you far away from each other. “Don’t lie to me, Y/N. You know I don’t like it when you lie. We said we would be open and honest from the day we’ve been together until now. There’s nothing that we should be keeping from each other.” “Chan, I…” Should you keep lying until you get out of this rut? You were able to fool Chan for awhile sometimes, but this time it wasn’t going to work. “I’ve just been stressed…” “Stressed about what?” he asked as he slowly approached you. “About everything, honestly. There’s so much that I need to take care of, and the kids are still growing up, and I’m trying to make dinner every night, I’m trying to sleep every night, I’m trying to make sure you’re doing okay, I’m trying to make sure all of my duties at work are complete before the day ends, it all just keeps going around and around, Chan. It’s never going to stop. And… it feels like you’re not here to help me, Chan. I feel so alone, and I’m trying to make sure everyone’s doing okay while I’m not okay…” Chan was always a good listener; whatever problems you had, he was there to offer knowledgeable advice. He was silent this time around. You looked up at him staring straight down at you. “So, you’re saying you’re mad at me?” “Wait, no. Chan, I’m not-I mean-I am, just a little bit, but-” “Why didn’t you just say it then? You know that you could’ve just told me. I’m always here to listen to whatever problems you have, babe.” “Well… you’ve been so busy producing that I didn’t want to bother you at all. I wanted to make sure you weren’t stressed for whatever project you have going on at work.” “But we said-” “Yes, Chan. I know what we promised each other when we got married, but sometimes it’s not enough for-” “So you think I’m not doing enough?” “What? No. Chan, I didn’t mean it like that.” “You could’ve just said it to me if you wanted me to do more, Y/N. You know that I love you and I want what’s best for our family. Why do you-” “How am I supposed to tell you when you’re always busy, Chan?!” There it was… your limiting point. You hated it when people asked you why you didn’t say anything in the beginning. You were too considerate for your own good. “How am I supposed to talk to a husband who’s never home?! My husband isn’t home to help me cook dinner, bathe the children, and can’t even get home to eat least enjoy dinner with me?!” “Oh, so you ARE mad at me. Well, if you said anything to me, I would’ve-” “Stop saying that! Stop saying that if I said something you would’ve done something, Chan! You know that I’m busy, yet you leave me home with the children to care for, and I do everything for this house! If you truly cared, you would’ve SEEN that I was exhausted from doing this all on my own!” “Well, I’ve just been-” “Sometimes, it doesn’t even feel like I’m a married woman, Chan! These women out here have husbands who worry about them, who take care of them, who do everything they can to make a house function, but you just worry about work! Do you even care about us?! Your wife who works AND cleans your house?! Your children who barely get to see you as they’re growing up?!” You weren’t thinking clearly. You were angry. You were angry at life, the world, and especially Chan at this moment. You didn’t think those words would come out of your mouth, though. You never meant to say hurtful things to each other, but stressful times would sometimes get the best of you both. Chan scoffed at your response and walked backwards toward to closet. “Well, I’m sorry that you feel like a single mother, Y/N. Sorry that I can’t be the perfect husband for you or be the perfect father for our children.” “Chan…I didn’t mean that. I-” “We’ll just leave it at that,” Chan said as he grabbed his suitcase and jacket, leaving the bedroom. You knew where he was going… back to the studio to produce more. You were frustrated as hell, but you had work in the morning and were already tired from the day, so you decided it was time to call it day and slid into the covers to sleep.

 Over the next few days, you and Chan barely spoke to each other. You didn’t want to speak to an angry Chan, and hurting him with your words was enough. However, the kids were able to sense the tension between you and Chan. They knew that on normal days, mommy and daddy would wake them up, and everybody would get ready together. On normal days, mommy and daddy would cook dinner together with daddy back hugging and kissing mommy until mommy had to kick him out from being too annoying. When cleaning after dinner, mommy and daddy would have a dance session in the kitchen. On normal days, daddy would put on a show for them, and have them all tackle and tickle mommy until mommy gave up laughing. On normal days, daddy would come home from work early, and daddy would share what daddy created in the studio. The past few days weren’t normal. Aris and Eli knew that. Even at a young age, they knew that mommy and daddy weren’t happy. On Saturday morning, Aris asked you, “Mommy… are you and daddy mad at each other?” Lost in your own train of thought, you snapped back into reality as your daughter tapped you for an answer. “Huh? What was that, honey?” “I saidddd are you and daddy mad at each other???” What were you supposed to tell your kids? That you and Chan had an argument? Hell no. “No, baby. We’re fine. Don’t worry about it, okay? You need to eat your breakfast before you go to uncle Binnie’s, okay?” Eyeing Eli suspiciously, she goes back to eating her breakfast. Trying to hide the tears brimming in your eyes, you smiled at the kids before going back to eating your own breakfast. Today was a Saturday, and you didn’t feel prepared to work at all. You had been hauling your ass around at work for the past few weeks preparing for a project you had to present today. They’d pushed dates around, causing you an even bigger headache, and making you have to change plans last minute. The kids were dropped off at Changbin and his s/o’s house. They’d volunteered to take care of the kids since you and Chan were both working.

 After work, you were on your way to Changbin’s house. Outside his house, you saw Chan’s car parked in front of his house. You texted Chan that the kids were going to be at Changbin’s house, but he never replied. You were surprised he didn’t inform you if he was going to pick them up or not either. Inhaling deeply, you got out of your car and walked towards the front door. Ringing the doorbell, you heard little bits of laughter and shrieking coming from inside. The kids always loved their uncle Binnie; he never failed to entertain them. Chan was the one who came to open the door. You stood by the front door, instructing the kids that their fun time with uncle Binnie was over. Bummed out, they said bye to their uncle and auntie Binnie.

 After tucking the children into bed together, Chan approached you. “Why do the kids know that we’re not happy right now?” “What do you mean? I don’t understand.” “The kids told Changbin that we were arguing and were mad at each other,” he explained. You stood speechless. You knew children would say random things, but you didn’t think your daughter could pick up so easily on small clues. “Don’t act so innocent, Y/N. I know you’re always gossiping on the phone with your girlfriends about how unhappy you are in our marriage.” Those words stung. They hurt even worse than if someone were to take a knife and penetrate your heart with it. “How would I know, Chan?! Maybe it’s because they don’t see their father! Maybe it’s because they know that none of us are happy in this damn house!” “Don’t play the victim. I know that it’s because of your big mouth that our children have to hear about this!” There he was… attacking you again-for something that was entirely out of your control. “MY BIG MOUTH?! I HAVEN’T EVEN SPOKEN TO MY FRIENDS FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS BECAUSE I’VE BEEN SO BUSY! IF YOU ACTUALLY KNEW MY DAY TO DAY SCHEDULE, YOU WOULD KNOW THAT OUR CHILDREN AREN’T DUMB, CHAN! YOU WOULD KNOW THAT YOUR CHILDREN ARE GROWING UP WITHOUT YOU!” He was angry-trying to stay calm, but the silence was from anger, not from understanding nor from love. Where did your marriage go wrong? Where did you both turn into hate-filled lovers, who can’t even speak to each other without raising your voices? You didn’t know, and you didn’t care. You had been patient enough. You were silent for too long. It wasn’t going to change anything. There was so much that you wanted to say, but you knew Chan wasn’t going to do anything either. His compromises were the bare minimum. To hide the tears that were falling down your face, you turned your back towards Chan, and walked out the door. It was hard enough that you felt like a single mother. Before leaving the room, you admitted to Chan, “You know what, maybe I am unhappy in this marriage. I do feel like a single mother taking care of my own children…Maybe it’s time we find new things to do rather than stay in this worthless relationship, Chan.”

Your marriage was failing. Not was… is. Your marriage was something you’d wanted to be so proud of since you were a little girl. You imagined yourself being the caring, doting mother and wife, and being the one everyone else was envious of. It was the total opposite now. Everyone pitied you because you had a husband who didn’t care for you, probably hated you as well. There were so many things going on inside your head, you couldn’t think clearly anymore. At work, you couldn’t focus. The words you’d said to Chan-that you knew pierced his heart as well. You felt so guilty. Was your marriage going to end in divorce? Was it going to be the relationship you promised to never have? Either way, it was going to be one hell of a struggle trying to please everyone’s schedules.

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Author’s Note: Hi, I’m just barely starting out this series. I’m not sure how many parts I’m gonna write, but hopefully you guys liked it! :) Give me some critical feedback or advice on my writing if you want too! I want to continuously write better!

Tag list: @crispbang 

[imkylotrash]

Peculiar World

Pairing: Saul Silva x reader

Request: Can you do a Saul x wife reader who has magic. She was raised by Damon and was maybe a teen in season 1 of TVD so she was involved with all the crazy. She's also bffs with Klaus and Hopes godmother. She's is a teacher at alfea and the SBS. She is also a mentor to Riven like Saul/Sky.I kinda want to see Saul reaction to all of this as he knows about TVD but never met them. Anonymous

A/N I'm a little limited in my knowledge of Legacies so I've had to leave a little of the request out but I hope you like it anyway! 💛

Tagging: @grey-girl @intoanothermind @anreeixcobra @kingunder221b @lflores2008 @alexiapayne12 @quuenofblacks @quarterback-5 @estelmei @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @artsyle​ @baueoud @glowingatdawn @shadowhuntyi

"This is going to be an amazing place, you know." You're standing in the doorway of the newly funded Salvatore Boarding Scool remembering all the memories it holds. Alaric turns around with a smile crossing the room to hug you tightly.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't become a stranger when you moved." You can't help but chuckle. It's not exactly like you just moved a state over.

"I moved to another realm, Ric. It's a little harder than an hour's drive." A couple of students hurry outside laughing. It takes you back to your own high school days though you didn't have a place where you could practise magic openly and safely. You'd lost count of the number of times you'd had to use your magic to save everyone alongside Bonnie, how many times you'd grieved the loss of a loved one and the joy you felt when they made their way back to life.

"I thought I heard my favourite witch." Damon comes walking down the stairs and you must admit that humanity looks good on him. The biggest surprise is Elena not being next to him. When you left, they were quite literally joined by the hip.

"Don't let Bonnie catch you saying that," you chuckle but you're really just happy to see him. He took you in when your parents died and since then the Salvatore mansion had been your home. Back then you'd been his only redemption before he actually started being a good person. Elena had brought it out in him but you like to think you were the beginning of the development. He'd saved your life more than once.

"Don't worry. I tell her the same thing when you're not here." He ruffles up your hair making you feel like a little kid all over again. But this time you're a married adult with your own life and Damon knows that too.

"You look good," he says pulling you in for a hug.

"You too. Apparently, married life suits us both." You know Damon has been torn between wanting to hate Saul for stealing you away and appreciating the fact that he makes you very happy.

"Who would've thought?"

You return to the present realising that you've been standing under the running water long enough for it to turn cold. You use a little magic to quickly dry off your hair so you can be on time for class. You still have no idea how Saul managed to get you a job at Alfea when you're not even a fairy but it makes your marriage a lot easier. Neither of you likes being away from each other but working at Alfea has kept you from your family a lot. You love Saul but you miss Mystic Falls. It clouds your thoughts all through class and by the time you've finished, you're calling Damon to hear how everything is going.

"Hey," you say trying to keep your voice neutral.

"Hi stranger," he replies but you can tell he's busy judging by the sound of chatter in the background. That's when you remember it's family dinner night.

"I completely forgot. We'll talk later." You hang up before he has any time to respond. Your eyes sting but you refuse to cry. It's just tough being away from them all the time. You have more than enough here with Saul and Riven but you miss home.

"I know I'm not a mind fairy but the look on your face says more than enough. What's wrong?" Saul asks. He's just entered your shared bedroom and he looks ready to collapse after a long day.

"It's nothing. I just miss home." You wonder how big the twins have gotten by now and how Hope is doing. You hate to admit that as her godmother you haven't done a pretty good job at being there for her. You text constantly but it's not the same as seeing her. You had promised Klaus to take care of her before he sacrificed himself and then you moved to another realm.

"We could always go visit?" You lock eyes with him never having been more in love with him than right now. Saul has never visited Mystic Falls. Frankly, you'd been terrified to merge those two worlds but now you felt like you had to. You wanted him to know the people who had helped save you and been there as you grew into your own person.

"I'd love that."

==

"This looks pretty impressive." Saul is standing next to you by the gates of the Salvatore Boarding School looking in awe at the place. You know Alfea is a gorgeous place but it has nothing on the Salvatore mansion.

"Walk me through it again. Vampires, werewolves and witches all in one place?"

"Also, hybrids and tribrids which still doesn't really make sense to me but essentially that's the big three, yeah." You laugh a little as you watch the confusion cloud his face. You grew up here and you still struggled to understand all the stuff that happened.

"We're not staying here for long. Damon invited us over for dinner but I just wanted to stop by here." You keep a lookout for any familiar faces and much to your surprise you spot Hope locking lips with some curly-haired boy.

"Hope?" you exclaim. She is definitely not old enough to be dating and the sight makes you temporarily forget about Saul who's currently fighting the urge to draw out the dagger he always hides in his boot. The soldier in him is terrified of vampires and werewolves thinking of the horror stories he always heard as a child despite your reassurances that they were people the same as the fairies.

"Y/N?" Hope runs right into your arms not believing her own eyes.

"What are you doing here?" she asks excitedly. Seeing her makes you realise just how much you've missed this place. You introduce her to Saul who's trying to take everything in and relax a little. You don't blame him. Hearing about vampires and werewolves is very different from actually being around them. Some vampires still give you the creeps even now.

"Thank you for coming," you whisper as Hope leads the way to Alaric's office. She's talking so much she doesn't even notice you saying anything. It's nice seeing her so happy and confident in herself compared to seeing her back in New Orleans. This school had really helped her.

"Here we are," she says stopping in front of a set of doors with Ric's name on it.

"We're staying for a few days. How about you ditch school tomorrow and tell me all about that lover boy I caught you with outside." Hope is quick to agree before heading back outside. It's nice seeing her happy. You know Klaus would've enjoyed it too.

"You ready?" He nods his head and you open the door to see Ric and the twins. It's a happy reunion adding to the feeling of missing out on everything.

"If you miss it so much, I've got a job opening? You could come to teach every other week to make your schedule work." Could it work? Could you have the best of both worlds? You look over at Saul who looks just as surprised as you. It would take some work and planning but you needed this.

"Do you think we could make it work?" you ask Saul hoping he'll say yes. Hoping he'll support you.

"I think you gave up a lot for me by moving to Alfea so it would only be fair that we made this work. Of course, we can make it work." He's still freaked out by the number of supernatural people running around here but he has to admit that it's pretty impressive they all manage to co-exist. He's eager to learn more about them and the history behind their existence. It's also a huge plus that he gets to see you happy.

"I guess my answer is yes then."