#complete with timestamps and stuff

[pepimeinrad]

nononononono PLEASE the strings-version of Gnossienne No. 5 is ON THE OFFICIAL S2 SOUNDTRACK??!?

[shikai-the-storyteller]

It's taking me ages to write this chapter because every time I look through old VODs / notes to check something, I come across moments like this that make me want to lie down face-first on the floor:

[Context: Pac commits to the idea of taking the Happy Pills so he can create a cure. He's about to write a note to Cellbit to explain his plan.]

Pac: If Cellbit puts himself in this position, it's worse for everyone, because Cellbit is smarter when it comes to coming up with strategic plans, so he is the thinking mind of the Favela Five group, so if he no longer has the mind, he’s not capable of solving this whole problem, you know? But if I put myself in this position to help Cellbit so he can get the cure... You understand? It's better if I'm the bait. Right? I can't- I can't carry things alone guys, I've already lost Mike [...] if I lose Cellbit and I alone had to carry things, I won't be able to. But I think Cellbit can manage better. He is more independent, and he has Roier. He has a husband. I'm trying to– to be lucid here, understand? That's all.

Date: September 11, 2023 || Timestamp: 03:10:10

[mimicori]

no worse feeling than accidentally deleting art bc i restored the wrong back-up version 🧍🧍🧍

[wandering-pirate]

Mouthwashing Characters Headcanon

Christmas Day with You

Captain Curly

You and him baking sugar cookies in matching aprons? Peak domestic fluff His apron said "Sugar Daddy," and yours? "Daddy’s Sugary Snacc"

Yeah, that was all his idea. He couldn’t stop showing them off, grinning ear to ear, parading them around Walmart like it was a fashion show.

Meanwhile, you were just trying to hunt down all the ingredients in peace, but nope, he had to follow you around, flaunting those aprons.

After a war of flours, you successfully conjured up a decent batch

You had to use actual physical restraint to stop him from adding Vegemite to the cookies. The audacity. And when he ate one, took a full spoonful of it, and moaned?? Yeah, a monster

He’s obsessed with ski or any snow sport video game and always teases you for being a noob. But it’s all in good fun—he’s learned his lesson after the Mario Kart Incident that shall never be mentioned again

"Sweetheart, you’re gonna twist your joint with that posture—"

"Hush! You just wanna win gold again. Stop tempting me, you tall, handsome, bulky-ass demon"

Naturally, your competitive streak kicked in and, somehow, you ended up twisting your ankle

He played the role of nurse, cold compress in hand, sneaking kisses to your ankle because “it speeds up healing” (and also because he’s a shameless flirt who’ll use any excuse to be touchy)

You both gave up on the active stuff and just settled in for a holiday romcom. Of course, you both passed out halfway through

Nurse Anya

You made sure the fireplace was stacked to the brim with firewood because Anya + cozy fire = Christmas must

Your tradition? Her reading a book with her legs propped up on your thighs while you either watch your favorite YouTube videos or game

She’d be all serious about the book, but every now and then, she’d peek over at your screen, giggling at your reactions, but pretending like she was still super into the book

"What did he even trip on? Hell no, he deserved more than just getting skinned alive"

“Y/N, sweetie, natural selection. The weak always get eliminated”

"Mmm, makes sense"

When the clock hit a certain hour, it was handwritten letter time. Instead of gifts, you both wrote love letters to each other. This started when she told you how she re-read your first love letter whenever she got stuck on months long of hauls as a crew nurse

"Yeah, sorry, Anya. No letter this year"

"What? Bu—"

"Because you’re not getting back on that claustrophobic flying submarine this time"

Knowing how much she wanted to enter med school, you gave her the ultimate gift: fully paid tuition for a six-month medicine review center. You’d worked all year for it, and seeing her reaction made every second of it worth it

It was the first time you saw her cry. Anya, who’s always calm and composed, was sobbing in your arms, and it just wrecked you with love. You hugged her tighter, not sure who was more emotional at that point

"Y/N, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me"

Intern Daisuke

He planned the perfect Christmas adventure, complete with bullet points, timestamps, and color-coded charts. You had to give him credit for actually being organized for once—he really took his Christmas plans seriously

But, of course, the Christmas spirit was clearly not on his side this time. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong:

Alarm didn’t go off

There was a traffic jam due to a fender bender

Your favorite thrift store? Closed for maintenance

Even the skating rink shut down after some bizarre oil spill caused a dogpile (like, how does that even happen?)

By the end of the day, you weren’t mad at all, just hungry. And somehow, Daisuke turned every misfortune into something you both would be giggling about

You both bought GIGANTIC mugs at Walmart that read, “The Grinch pales at my naughtiness.” They were immediately used to create the world’s sickest hot chocolate, piled with as equally large marshmallows and a diabetes-inducing amount of whipped cream.

Meanwhile, Daisuke was relentless in roasting the Grinch—he couldn’t stop hating on that movie.

“Who even hates Christmas? It’s the grand finale of the year! Absolute loser behavior.”

Mechanic Swansea

Christmas in the garage, for short, his sanctuary. The man thought of everything: fully insulated it, brought in a heater, all just to make sure you were warm and comfy while you both worked

Both of you had this wordless agreement to work on woodcrafts for Christmas. He taught you the basics of woodworking and you proved yourself to be a modern abstract Picasso. You improved throughout the years, tho. Your pieces? From abstract Picasso to expressionism Picasso

He loves carving because it gives him the perfect excuse to sit right behind you, guiding your hands with his. His big teddy bear frame is all around you, and something about that just hits him deeply. Like when he knows you’re safe and protected in his arms. And your eagerness to learn and follow his moves. He melts.

Naturally, you got a splinter, triggering his fierce Tsundere side

“What did I tell you about not rubbing fresh-cut wood? Keep this up, and I’ll just have you sit on my lap while I do your work for you.”

But underneath all that scolding, you could see his silent panic. He just hides behind transparent glass

"Stop smiling at me like that, you clumsy goof"

After crafting a spoon with a thirty-degree angled handle and an awkward head (he still called it perfect, of course), he whipped up his signature paella

Somehow, despite having eaten a thousand spoonfuls of it over the years, you still weren’t tired of it

Co-pilot Jimmy

Jimmy’s not really one for celebrating Christmas. Not bitter about it or anything, but he just treated it like any normal day. That all changed, though, when he realized that Christmas was your thing.

“Babe, why Christmas?”

“Honestly? I’m not really sure. But you know how, when we were kids, there’s that feeling of excitement, like when Christmas is coming and you can’t stop smiling? It just brings all that back, and suddenly, you feel like a kid again. So I guess, it’s just nostalgia, huh?”

He never really thought about it that way before. After all, his goal as a kid was always to grow up faster than everyone else.

So, you took it upon yourself to share all your favorite Christmas traditions with him, hoping to bring a little of that magic into his world:

Decorating your tree? He suggested replacing the star with an angel figurine... with your printed face glued on it. (Naturally, he followed through after you both went to bed, sneaking up to do it.)

Making a gingerbread house? He blocked the chimney, and when you asked why… well, he said it best:

“I don’t want some fat bastard breaking in, he’d eat the entire damn house”

By Christmas Eve, looking around his once-bare apartment, now filled with colors he didn’t even know existed, he couldn’t stop that tugging in his heart. He didn’t even realize how much of his childhood was missing until now.

You were patching up his unhealed wounds with your bandaids, and he didn’t even notice until it was too late. He's down bad

a/n: I know it's late T.T, but here's the crew having some holiday break... future angst coming up with curly and you (sorry)

also p.s. english ain't my first language, so i kinda felt like my whole headcanon writing abilities were crap... but these somehow are the top liked posts soooo... future HCs comin' down your way

[formulaonecrumbs]

ok, so this is my first time requesting ever so... if you could write something about younger brother lando (around 8 yo) being made fun of at school and older sisster reader comforting him (i'm talking about your older sister au ) if you don't write it it's completely fine just wanna say i really love you wrok 💗

you’re too cool for them

Lando Norris x older sister!reader

summary: lando comes home upset after being made fun of at school. reader finds him and comforts him in the way only an older sister can.

warnings: bullying mention, protective older sister energy

A/N: AHHH im glad i could be ur first request ever :) hope it lives up to wiat u expected. thank u sm, baby. i was going to make this much longer but i’ve been writing for like 4 maybe 5 hours straight WHOOPS. again thank u for the request, happy reading and i love u ❤️

༻ ❤︎︎ ༺

home film #11 (out of a gazillion)- found in a cardboard box labelled ‘memories’

(recorded: norris family home, bristol)

timestamp: 3:03 pm 11-15-2007

the clip starts mid-focus, camera pointed at the hallway, picking up footsteps—quick ones, heavy ones—and then the slam of the front door. lando rushes in, head down, backpack nearly falling off his shoulders. it’s raining outside, his socks are slightly damp, and he doesn’t even say hi.

the camera shakes as someone picks it up—adam’s voice murmurs something about “what’s got into him?” before the screen cuts to the living room.

you’re already there, curled up on the couch with a snack and a book, still in your school uniform. you barely look up until lando stomps through, dropping his bag with a thud.

“lando?” you ask.

he doesn’t answer. he just mumbles something under his breath and disappears into the hallway.

cut.

the next shot is more still. you’re holding the camcorder now, awkwardly pointing it at yourself like you’re not sure if you’re allowed to use it. the angle shifts wildly before settling just outside your bedroom.

you knock once, gently. “hey.”

no response.

“i know you’re in there.”

a sniffle.

your voice much softer now, “bean? can i come in?”

a beat. then, a quiet little “yeah.”

the video cuts again, and when it comes back, you’ve set the camera on your desk. it’s angled slightly crooked, catching you and lando sitting on your bed. he’s curled up, knees to his chest, eyes red and puffy.

“they said my teeth are weird.. that the gap is ugly,” he says quietly. “and that my voice is squeaky. and that i’m too short.”

you blink, something in your face hardening—not at him, but at the thought of whoever said it (murder is wrong murdering is wrong murder is wrong murder is wrong). “that’s stupid.”

lando shrugs, trying to act like he doesn’t care. “it’s true though.”

you shake your head. “your voice is fine. everyone’s voice is squeaky at eight. and your teeth are just your baby teeth. they’re perfect as is, sweet like dads. and being short doesn’t matter.”

“easy for you to say.”

you nudge his knee gently. “hey. i get picked on too sometimes. for different stuff. people are mean when they’re bored.”

lando doesn’t reply. just looks down again, and you reach over, pulling his hoodie hood up over his head.

“you’re cool,” you say firmly. “you’re funny, and you’re smart. you’re literally my favorite person.”

he peeks up at you.

“really?”

“yes, really. don’t tell the others.” you smile. “now do you want me to punch them or what?”

lando giggles for the first time.

“maybe.”

you wrap an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a sideways hug. “just ignore them, alright? or tell me. i’ll handle it.”

he leans into you, sniffling again, but this time a little softer.

the video fades out just as you toss him one of your stuffed animals and say, “you’re cooler than all of them. trust me.”

fade to black.

THE END :>

[mercurygguk]

risqué ; timestamp #16

18+ content below the cut

pairing; risqué jk x risqué oc

genre; fluff, they're so cute i'm gonna cry

a/n; spa day, besties!! enjoy this little timestamp of oc forcing risqué jk to have a spa day with her lolol

[08:11 PM] "is this really necessary?"

jungkook sighs deeply, a hint of annoyance and yet also a small hint of amusement on his features as he watches you. your face is locked in concentration, your gaze focused on his face as you spread that fancy brand of face mask onto his skin. he can't even remember the name of the brand — all he remembers is you going off on a rant about how amazing it is and how it benefits your skin.

"yes," you chirp and use your fingers to bring the face mask down to his chin and over that part between his nose and upper lip.

"____, you already did a shit ton of other stuff," he protests, his tone almost whiny.

you can't help but lean back to look at him properly, amusement etched onto your face as you grin at him. you let out a scoffing laugh and move back in to continue the spreading of the face mask, "sir, you're pushing 30 — you need to take care of your skin!"

jungkook jerks back at your words, brows furrowed together as he looks at you with mock offense.

"did you just call me old?"

it's now your turn to jerk back with an offended gasp, "i did not!"

jungkook tries to fight the grin that's threatening to spread across his lips, "you totally did! god, you're mean..."

a giggle escapes you, mirth playing within your eyes as you flash him a smirk.

"you say that as if you didn't know that already–"

jungkook shakes his head at you with a smirking grin and sits still again, letting you continue your work on his face. once his face is covered with the face mask, you pull away with a proud 'all done!' leaving you. jungkook can't help but let that grin he was fighting before take over his features as he watches you, completely adored by your obvious excitement that he let you do this to his face.

"you satisfied with your work?" he asks, clearly amused.

you nod and smile proudly, "absolutely."

"so how long does this have to stay on my face?" he then asks, wondering just how long he has to wait before he can wash it off and go back to kissing you without worrying about messing up your hard work.

you hum and glance at the clock on his nightstand, "about 20 minutes."

jungkook's eyes widen, his lips parting and closing again.

"20 minutes?! baby, i can't go that long without kissing you, you know that–"

you grin playfully and lean in closer, barely brushing your lips against his in the most teasing way you can muster right now while his entire face is covered in face mask. your eyes drop from his eyes to his lips and back up again.

"i guess you'll just have to stick it out then," you murmur sensually before pulling away again, causing jungkook to chase after your lips in an attempt to kiss you. once you're too far away from him, he lets out a groan, his shoulder slumping in defeat. you cock an eyebrow at him and turn on your heel to head into his en-suite bathroom, glancing at him over your shoulder just to catch a short glimpse of him falling back on his bed.

"like i said," he calls after you, "mean."

[disastermanagement]

EVERYBODY LOVES SHADOW!!!

THE COMPLETE COMIC!

i said i was gonna put them all into one post once it was finished!

the idea came from this bumblekast episode!

i followed it as closely as i could while adding my own stuff (cus i make comics for a living--i can't NOT make it into a cohesive story!) and keeping the original ending bcus it was funny to me.

answering a few questions i got while this was being posted. >>

"how was metal sonic and the egg pawns affected?"

it was a spray/gas that could affect anything sentient by seeping into skin/metal/whatever. as long as it's something that was designed to be affected (so not grass, trees, water... unless it's a sentient person made of those things. like a tree or water monster for example).

an AI like nicole for instance would be affected physical or in a computer.

(i dont personally believe the egg pawns are as mindless as a pawn could be. they've shown sentience is being perceptive to attacks and threats. THAT'S JUST A HEADCANON THO. i incorporated it anyway cus i thought it was funny even if it probably doesn't make sense to anyone else).

it being scentless is an eggman specific design. if you could smell an unfamiliar scent on yourself (given you can smell at all), you'd wonder what it was.

shadow initially thought the spray was some diversion tactic to keep him from getting too close to eggman. since it was just one of his bases and he wasn't found there, shadow had left in search of where eggman could really be when he runs into amy and there the story starts.

"did sonic ever tell shadow about what was really going on?"

probably not as shadow yeeted himself into space before sonic could get the chance. i'm sure he found him eventually and told him the truth. shadow is gonna avoid that blue payaso for a while after that.

"i don't get the ending :("

watch the podcast! there are timestamps in the top comment, but i'll explain anyway. shadow felt the whole world had gone whack, so his only safe haven was going back into stasis deep in space. he looks so happy :)

[jayujus]

JOAH (I LIKE YOU) - NI-KI SMAU

synopsis ❀ : in where fashion student and model, jo y/n, has been openly crushing on dance student, riki nishimura for god knows how long. that is until one day, she crushes on someone else and riki goes feral.

featuring ❀ : (ZOA of WEEEKLY as yn's faceclaim), enhypen maknae line, new jeans' danielle, treasure's junghwan, xikers' junghoon, p1harmony's soul and jongseob, &team's taki, konon, ive's wonyoung + maybe more to come

genre(s) ❀ : fluff, angsty, kinda love triangle, crack ??

warnings ❀ : kys jokes n that stuff, cursing, riki's mean, ignore timestamps

started ❀ : june 9 2023

completed ❀ : august 1 2023

taglist ❀ : closed

authors note ❀ : tbh this is my first time actually posting on this account and i'm a bit nervous as to how this smau will play out 🥲 also so so sorry if its boring 😭 i'll try to update everyday if possible, but as of june 23, i will be a little less frequent

profiles ❀ : we told her to buckle up 🤷🏻‍♀️ | hi stink 😝

chapters !

01 : PLS ONE CHANCE BRO

02 : so mean

03 : keshi concert

04 : he thinks i'm pretty?

05 : can't let go

06 : konon's advice

07 : time to move on

08 : yn's character development

09 : junghoon's bold era

10 : the truth hurts

11 : the what if's

12 : date night!

13 : regretful

14 : riki's depression

15 : mixed emotions

16 : not so smart

17 : new best fran 💬 0.4k + smau

18 : we've been replaced

19 : i think he needs some water

20 : cringe :/

21 : shota's schemes

22 : bouquet of roses

23 : top 10 worst anime betrayals

24 : predicament

25 : make amends 💬 0.4k + smau

26 : operation: win yn over!

27 : #exposed

28 : MAMA 😭😭😭😭😭

29 : honest feelings

30 : #ditched

31 : RICE 🍚😫😫

32 : he really is rizzki

33 : d-day 💬 0.8k + smau

34 : enchanted

35 : psych ward

end

copyright © jayujus 2023 all rights reserved

[supernovafics]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄

"i'll be there for you" universe masterlist

pairing: bestfriend!roommate!steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 5.6k words

warnings: explicit language, alcohol consumption, mentions of weed, “the beatles” slander (sorry?), just a lil bit of angst

summary: in which you force you and steve to have a housewarming party

general note: everything in this universe/series can be read as standalone oneshots but to understand the full “lore” it would prob be best to read the other stuff too<333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Fall 1985

“Oh no, you’re playing The Beatles at full volume... On a scale of one to ten, how worried should I be for you right now?” 

Hearing Steve’s voice right then put a timestamp on how long you’d been in your current position— lying in the dark on the couch in the living room of your shared apartment, an oversized hoodie, which just so happened to be Steve’s, covering your body; even the hood was pulled over your head because you wanted to feel completely cocooned. 

He finished his shift at Family Video at seven and the drive usually took no more than twenty minutes, and you’d gotten home from your last class around five. That meant you’d been sulking for over two hours. A part of you felt a bit disappointed in yourself. 

Not enough to stop sulking and get up from the couch, though. 

Steve flicked on the light, which made you groan and pull on the strings of the hoodie so that your eyes were covered too, and then he walked over to where the record player sat atop a low shelf that was full of books, magazines, and random trinkets including a pink piggy bank that contained stray arcade tokens rather than actual money. He turned off the record player, putting a stop to the Abbey Road vinyl that you had been playing on repeat for hours. You absolutely detested The Beatles so whenever you were in a melancholic mood, it felt only right to play their music.

“Our neighbors probably hate us now,” Steve said as he joined you on the couch, moving your legs for a moment so that he could sit down and then placing them over his lap. “If we don’t get the cookie basket from Miss Johnson for Christmas, I fully blame you.” 

He expected that to get a laugh or at least a smile out of you. The mention of the sweet old woman a few doors down who had given you two a welcome basket full of freshly baked muffins when you moved in and then promised to bring you the cookies that she always made and gave to people in the building during the holidays. 

You didn’t do either of those things though. Your mouth felt too stuck in a straight line to even think about smiling. Therefore, you instead disregarded everything Steve had said since he’d entered the apartment and mumbled, “Why are guys such idiots?” 

He placed a hand over his heart as if he’d just been wounded. “Ouch.”

You pulled the hood off your head and then propped yourself up by your elbows to finally look at him. “Obviously, you’re the exception.” You then thought about your words for a brief moment. “Well, sometimes.”

“Double ouch,” He said. “But yes, guys are idiots. Which one are you talking about, in particular? Charlie?” 

You sighed and looked away. “Sadly.” 

“He’s lasted longer than I expected,” Steve told you. He fully thought that the crush you had on this guy from your early morning Statistics class wouldn’t stem past a few weeks.

“At this point, I wish I didn’t like him anymore,” You responded and then looked at Steve again, a small amused smile gracing your lips as you thought of something. “Any hot people come into Family Video lately?” 

Steve simply laughed and shook his head at you.

It was almost too easy for you to develop a crush on someone. So much so that many of them you wouldn’t even mention to Steve or your other friends because of how fast they’d come and go. 

Most of the time, the inevitable abrupt ending of the crushes would leave you feeling something adjacent to heartbreak because most of the guys you’d ended up liking were, in fact, idiots, or you’d feel disappointment because your feelings never lived up to how they were at the beginning of the crush. But there was always still something about the idea of liking someone that was surprisingly fun to you. You wouldn’t necessarily call yourself a hopeless romantic, but it sometimes felt as if you were exactly that.

You finally sat up from the couch and moved close to Steve. “Okay, spare me the supportive best friend ‘we’ve known each other since we were ten and I only want the best for you’ spiel for a few moments and just answer a quick question for me, okay?” 

Although he was completely confused and would’ve killed for more context, Steve nodded at your current antics. “Okay.” 

“If we had just finished a really hard test, and you were worried about how you did on it, and I did this,” You grabbed his hand, linking it with yours and giving him the sweetest smile that was typically only reserved for when you were hardcore flirting with someone. “While saying ‘I’m sure you did great,’ you would understand that I have a massive crush on you, right?”

He glanced down at your intertwined hands for a brief moment before ultimately nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I would.”

“Exactly,” You said as you dropped Steve’s hand and then slumped back against the couch. “So Charlie pulling away— no smile back or anything— and simply saying, ‘Thanks. You probably did good too,’ in response to that means either he can’t read my stupidly obvious flirting cues, or he’s not into me. And, honestly, I’m almost certain it’s the second one.” Suddenly you were hit with a fresh wave of sadness and you pulled the hood over your head once again. “Please put back on The Beatles and let me wallow in peace for the rest of the night. I promise I’ll be better by the morning.” 

“I’d rather hear Harold running on his squeaky wheel all night than The Beatles on repeat,” He said and you actually perked up at the mention of the pet you two had gotten only a few months ago, barely a week after you’d fully moved into the apartment, the brown and white furry creature formally known as “Harold the Hamster.” 

Currently, he was sleeping only a few feet away in his cage that sat on the coffee table. Somehow he managed to be completely unbothered by the music you’d been loudly playing. 

“Okay, how about this,” Steve started. “Let’s order a pizza from that place close by. I’ll even suffer and let you put olives on it.”

You pushed the hood off your head again so that you could look at your best friend, only slightly intrigued by what he was saying. “Keep talking…”

“And then we’ll watch The Breakfast Club because you love it and you immediately rented it out from Family Video when we got it in,” He continued and you perked up even more at the mention of one of your favorite movies. “Which, by the way, is a copy that is weeks overdue and has probably racked up an insane amount of late fees at this point.”

You smiled at him. “Good thing I know someone who works there. And he would never let me pay any late fees.”

“Wow, he sounds like a great guy.”

You shrugged as you looked away from Steve. “Meh, he’s alright.” 

He immediately poked your side, causing you to laugh loudly. “I’m gonna make you pay all of the late fees now.”

“That’s very evil,” You said with a shake of your head, but you were still laughing because you knew that he wasn’t being serious. 

Steve ordered the pizza as you put the Breakfast Club tape in and then you both settled on the couch again. You had probably watched the movie five times since you rented it, but somehow you hadn’t grown tired of it yet. Instead, it managed to effectively take your mind off of Charlie and the entire situation with him, at least for the time being. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Steve may have been the one who worked at Family Video, but you knew that place so well it was almost as if you worked there too. His almost never-changing schedule was practically seared into your brain, and you knew the exact times the place was always busy and the moments when it was pretty much dead aside from a handful of random customers.   

Somehow Fridays at noon were one of the store’s emptiest times. 

Steve was standing behind the counter sorting through movies on a cart when you walked in. 

“Hello,” You smiled at him. “I come bearing one not-at-all overdue copy of The Breakfast Club and very fun news.” 

Steve was quick to smile back when he saw you, but it dropped when it seemed as if he remembered something. “Shouldn’t you be in your Psychology class right now?” Just like you knew his schedule like the back of your hand, he knew yours. “Your parents will find a way to blame me if you’ve dropped out of school, y’know.”

“My professor canceled last minute; her sister went into labor. So, don’t worry, you won’t be hearing any sort of lecture from my parents,” You answered as you dug in your bag for the movie. 

Steve grabbed it from your outstretched hand and placed it on the cart before looking back at you. “What's your news?” 

“Okay, so remember when we were ten and on that cruise, and you liked this random girl from New Jersey— Rebecca, I’m pretty sure her name was?” You said. “She was sixteen, completely unattainable, but I still tried to help you talk to her.” 

That cruise was actually when you and Steve met. It was a very weird serendipitous kind of moment where your parents bumped into his at the buffet one of the first few days and found out that they not only lived in Indiana, but in a town that was two over from yours, and they even had a son that was the same age as you. 

You had been somewhere sitting by the pool when this romcom-esque “meet cute” happened, but when your parents found you, they introduced you to Steve. Although at first, it felt like a friendship that was being forced upon you both, it was still nice to have someone other than your parents— actually, someone better than your parents— to hang out with on the ten-day trip. 

You beat him countless times at air hockey at the arcade onboard and the two of you spent most of the nights successfully sneaking into the “club” that was only meant for kids fifteen and up— which was where his crush on Rebecca began and subsequently ended.

“Yes, I remember that, not my finest moment. But, I also don’t blame her, it probably would’ve been weirder if she wanted to flirt back to a ten-year-old,” Steve responded and then furrowed his eyebrows. “Wait, I’m confused, though. Is your news that you found her or something?” 

You immediately shook your head at his question. “No, what I’m gonna say actually has nothing to do with that, but I wanted to remind you of how supportive I was of you during that time, and how supportive you should be of me right now with what I’m about to say.”

“I’ll always support you,” He didn’t hesitate to tell you. “Unless you’re pitching the matching tattoos idea again. And then, in that case, I guess our decade-long friendship will have to end here.” 

“One day I’ll eventually convince you to do it; mark my words. And the tattoo will be one of those stupidly cringey ones where we each get a flower with the other person’s name blooming out of it.” 

Steve did nothing but groan and shake his head at you, which only made you laugh. 

“But, anyway, my actual news is that we’re having a party tonight,” You said and then continued before he could say anything in response just yet. “Kind of like a housewarming party. I realized that we never really had one.” 

“We did have one.”

You shook your head and let out a sound that was a cross between a scoff and a laugh. “Robin and Eddie coming over on our first night and all of us smoking weed on the fire escape and then falling asleep on our mattresses in the living room because we didn’t have any furniture yet did not count as our housewarming party.”

Steve laughed a bit. “It was very fun, though.” 

“It was great,” You agreed with a nod. “But, not an actual party, so that's why we're having one tonight.” 

Steve only looked at you for a moment and you knew that he was trying to read you. He was the only person that you were certain could completely see through you— he could tell what you were feeling even when it was too hard for you to put those muddled thoughts into words, and he could see right through all of the bullshit you’d spew at times. Sometimes it annoyed you, but most times it felt nice to be so completely seen and understood.

It only took a second for things to seemingly click into place for him. “Is all of this about Charlie?” 

“No,” You immediately answered, but you didn’t even sound convincing to yourself. 

Of course, Steve didn’t believe you at all and he didn’t have to verbally say that for you to know, the unspoken words were clear in the deadpan look he gave you. 

“Okay, fine. Yes, it is,” You said and then sighed as you leaned against the counter. “I saw him today and he said that he was planning to go to this party tonight and he wasn’t that excited about it, but it’s better than doing nothing on a Friday. And then for some insane reason, I blurted out that he should come to my party tonight instead. In hindsight, I probably should’ve immediately backtracked when I said that, but I didn’t and instead, this whole “housewarming party” plan was born.”

“Is there any way I can say no to this?” Steve asked and you quickly shook your head. 

“Sorry, but no. Remember what happened on the cruise. Remember how I tried to be helpful with Rebecca,” You told him as you walked around so that you were behind the counter with him. You began sifting through the cart which was full of movies that people had just returned. “And honestly, I just wanna use this party as a last-ditch effort to see if he likes me, and if not then I’ll just make out with someone else at the party to get over him. So, actually, this is a win-win situation no matter what, and this party needs to happen.”

Steve only sighed in response at first, which made you look at him again. He then was quiet for a moment before ultimately nodding and plastering on the brightest and fakest smile you’d probably ever seen from him. “Okay, fine, let’s throw the best two months late housewarming party ever.”

You smiled back at him. “Thank you.” 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

There were a lot of things Steve wanted to tell you.

One of the main things being how even though he hadn’t met him yet, he knew that Charlie definitely didn’t deserve you basically throwing a whole party for him just for you to see if he liked you back. Also, how actually most of the guys you ended up crushing on didn’t deserve your attention for a second. 

However, he knew that he couldn’t tell you any of that. Not when you’d been there through his ups and downs when it came to dating, and not when you were always supportive; even though a lot of the time it was easy to tell that you weren’t the biggest fan of the girls he went out with.

Early on in your friendship, it was unspokenly decided that bearing through each other’s plethora of shitty relationships just came with the territory of being best friends, and whenever things inevitably went downhill you’d both just be there for each other to pick up the metaphoric pieces.

However, that didn’t mean he couldn’t internally roll his eyes when about an hour into the party he finally did meet Charlie. It was a brief interaction where you introduced them when he entered the apartment and then Steve almost immediately walked away because he knew that you wanted to be alone with Charlie. Well, as “alone” as you two could be with a party that was in full swing around you. 

Your shared apartment quickly became full of at least forty people. It was a mix of people from your classes, the small handful of people from high school that you still sometimes talked to, a bunch of people that Steve knew, and anyone else that Robin and Eddie also wanted to invite. For a party thrown together at the last possible second, you both had to admit that it was a pretty solid turnout.

And also for a party that Steve hadn’t really wanted to have in the first place, he was actually having a good time. He was playing a drinking game version of Uno with Robin and a few others circled around the coffee table; Harold’s cage was placed next to him on the couch for the time being. 

After a second round in a row where Robin won— she was always crazy good at the game— Steve wanted to ask you to join because he knew how much you loved the game, even though you were very bad at it. He was even tipsy enough that he would’ve been fine with Charlie joining in as well.

He looked around, trying to find you, and it was something that should’ve happened in seconds. No matter what, it was always somehow easy to spot each other in any sort of crowded room— how effortless it always was almost felt equivalent to some weird kind of party trick. However, this time, Steve couldn’t find you. 

At first, he thought that that meant that things were going well with Charlie, but when he eventually spotted him standing in the kitchen talking and smiling at a girl who was definitely not you, he had a feeling that things had probably gone the opposite.

“I’m gonna sit out this round,” Steve said to Robin as he got up from the couch. 

The short walk to your bedroom was more difficult than expected because maneuvering through all of the people in the apartment proved to be a battle in itself. He ignored the sign on your door that said “Keep Out!” which you put up right before the party started to discourage people from going into your room and using it as a place to make out or have sex; Steve also had a sign on his door. 

When he walked in, he didn’t see you on your bed or sitting at your desk, or even lying on the floor, so he headed to the door right next to your closet that led to your bathroom.

“Hey, you in there?”

Twenty minutes ago, when you went into your bathroom, you had initially thought that you didn’t want to talk to or see anyone— you wanted to wallow alone and in silence. But, it turned out that hearing Steve’s voice right then didn’t annoy you or make you upset. Instead, it was the exact voice you wanted to hear in that moment— because, of course, Steve never counted as just anyone. 

You were sitting in your empty white tub. The cool porcelain felt nice against the exposed parts of your skin that the dress you were wearing didn’t cover, and you thought that the small confines of your bathroom would be the perfect place to spend the rest of your night; a night that had gone downhill almost too fast.

“Yes,” You mumbled, but it was loud enough for Steve to hear. 

“Can I come in?”

You nodded even though he couldn’t see you. “Yes. But, please don’t turn on the light.”

“Okay.”

You heard the door open then close and then the sound of the shower curtain being pushed to the side caught your attention and you looked up at Steve. 

“What happened?” He asked. Your eyes had long adjusted to the darkness so you could make out his face fairly well and you could see the concerned look on it. 

“I don’t wanna lie and say nothing, but I also don’t really wanna talk about it right now.” 

“That’s okay,” He said with a small nod. “Can I sit?”

You didn’t verbally answer and instead simply pulled your knees up to make room in the tub for him. He got in, pulling his knees up as well, and for a few moments, it was quiet. You could faintly hear the sound of music coming from the living room, but you couldn’t fully make out whatever vinyl Eddie decided to play on the record player.

“Someone gave us a plant,” Steve told you, breaking the silence. “Housewarming gift.”

“Oh, no,” You responded with a small sigh. You and Steve were probably the least “green thumb” people ever. “It’s gonna be dead in a week.”

“She said it’s a low-maintenance one so we’ll see how true that is,” He said as he shrugged. “Now that I’m thinking about it, though, is it weird that we can easily take care of a hamster, but a plant will barely last a week with us?”

You shook your head. “Harold provides us constant love and affection— even when he’s running on his squeaky wheel at three in the morning, it’s somehow still adorable— a plant does not do that. So, which one are we gonna remember to care for?”

“Very, very true.” 

“At least one person gave us a gift, though,” You said. “Now that I’m remembering that we called this a housewarming party, I’m actually kinda upset that we didn’t get any more presents. Where’s our fancy plates and cookware, or even a nice throw blanket?”

You were only slightly joking with your statement, you would’ve actually loved getting a blanket.

Steve laughed a bit. “If that’s what you wanted then we should’ve invited our moms and their friends.”

“Fuck, we really should’ve done that when we moved in. Such a missed opportunity.”

“I fully think that if we did do that our apartment would look eerily similar to Miss Johnson’s,” Steve said and you could imagine it completely. Frilly white curtains in the living room instead of the black ones that were currently up that blocked out the sun perfectly, and flowery pillows on the gray couch instead of the sage green ones that you found on sale a few weeks ago.

You inwardly shuddered at the thought. “Okay, yes, that’s probably true, but at least we would be using nice plates and not the Mickey Mouse ones we got from that thrift shop.”

Steve jokingly gasped, offended. “I love those Mickey plates, actually.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. Just for a moment, it was nice to completely forget about what happened not even an hour ago and what led you to essentially hide away in your bathroom in the first place. 

Things got quiet again and it was the kind of silence that you liked; the kind that made you feel completely comfortable with spending the rest of the night avoiding everything and staying right there in your tub with Steve, and you knew that he would’ve been okay with that too. Even though your bodies would’ve probably started aching after just thirty minutes of being in this position, and he was taller so it would be worse for him, he wouldn’t have complained. 

You focused on the muffled sound of the music playing in the living room. This time you managed to make out the familiar beat of the song; Somebody to Love by Queen. You let out a sigh because that song playing right then somehow felt way too on the nose. 

Steve reached over and lightly poked your knee. “You okay?”

You were so close to pushing the question away again, avoiding the topic and bringing up something else completely— maybe saying that you actually loved those damn Mickey Mouse plates too— but you actually didn’t feel like brushing the topic away anymore. 

“He doesn’t like me,” You abruptly said, voice quiet. “I was tired of trying to read between lines and shit, so I just asked him, and he said no.”

You noticed the sad look cross Steve’s face, which only made a fresh wave of embarrassment and sadness wash over you, but you kept going before he could say anything just yet. “And then to make that whole moment even more embarrassing for me, after he said no he pointed at this girl— I don’t know her name, I think Robin invited her— and asked if I knew if she was single or not.”

Steve’s response of “What the fuck,” was immediate and it was really nice hearing how angry he was on your behalf and it made you smile a bit.

“This past hour has been extremely humbling for me. And I know I said I’d find someone to make out with if things didn’t work out with Charlie, but I’m not even in the mood to do that,” You told him as you leaned back against the cool tub and closed your eyes. “And you wanna know what the worst part of all of this is?”

“What?” “I’m not even drunk right now, so I’ll sadly remember all of this tomorrow.”

You weren’t entirely sure what you expected Steve to say in response to that, but you fully did not expect him to laugh. You opened your eyes and lightly kicked his leg. “Wow, thank you for laughing at my pain.”

“I’m sorry. I am a little drunk right now, so you saying that you’re not is kind of funny because it feels like the roles are reversed,” He said and you slightly hated how right he was. At any party you went to, he was usually the sober-ish one helping you out whenever you drank too much. “Robin and I were playing the Uno drinking game with some people.”

“What? I can’t believe I missed that.”

“We can go play it now. You’d honestly probably win for once since you’re the only one of us who isn’t drunk.”

“Ha ha,” You said with a roll of your eyes as you reached forward so that you could playfully hit him. “I know I’m the worst at that game, but it doesn’t make it any less fun.”

“Okay, come on, let’s go play,” Steve said before standing up, and then reaching his hands out toward you so that he could help you up.

He was trying to cheer you up, you could clearly see that, and you almost took him up on his suggestion. But, the thought of leaving your bathroom or even the comfort of the tub didn’t sit well with you. Mainly since you were unsure if Charlie was still out there and you didn’t want to see him or what he was doing because you knew you’d only feel embarrassed all over again. Yes, it was your apartment and you could’ve easily kicked him out if he was still there, but it felt so much easier to simply stay right where you were. 

You looked up at Steve and shook your head. “I don’t really wanna play, actually.”

Steve sat back down with you. “Okay, I haven’t seen you this upset over a guy in a long time. What is it about Charlie? Why is he so special?”

It only took a second for an answer to come to your mind because it was something that you had actually been thinking about a lot lately but had yet to verbalize it.

“I don’t– I don’t even think it’s really about him specifically. It’s just, I’m so tired of having crushes— of liking a guy and it going absolutely nowhere… I want something real. It’s been what feels like forever, and the last time was with that guy whose name we will never say in this house. And we both know how that horrific relationship ended.” It was rare that you ever talked about that relationship anymore, so hearing you mention it right then— even in just a minor way— actually surprised Steve, it even surprised you a little bit. That relationship was something that went on from the end of your Sophomore year of high school to the middle of Junior year; close to a year of your life that you really wished you could get back because you put up with a lot of shit that you now knew you shouldn’t have.

“I want something good for once, and I thought that maybe I could have that with Charlie. I thought maybe he wasn’t an asshole. But, now I’m back at fucking square one, and it’s just so…” You trailed off with a sigh, not bothering to finish your statement.

“It’ll happen. You’ll find someone. Someone actually good,” Steve told you, his voice was soft and you could hear the sincerity behind his words. 

You let out a sigh and leaned your head back against the wall. “Sometimes I hate talking about relationship stuff with you.” 

“What? Why?” Steve asked. He sounded genuinely confused and for a second you felt bad because there wasn’t supposed to be anything you didn’t like talking about with him— you were best friends.

“Because you can get a date with any girl ever, and you could probably easily be in a committed, serious thing if you wanted to. Meanwhile, I’m getting rejected left and right or falling for complete idiots,” You answered, letting the words fall out and not really thinking about them too much because they just felt way too true. However, once they fully registered in your head, you could feel yourself inwardly cringing. “Ew. Oh, God, I sound pathetic. Please forget I said anything.” 

“It’s not true,” Steve told you with an immediate shake of his head. You almost said “Which part?” but he continued before you could ask that question. “I go on dates, yeah. But, none of them are close to, or are even leading to, something real. Even if I wanted it to, the girls I date don’t want something real with me.”

You considered his words for a second. “Well, in that case, they’re idiots.”

“Charlie’s an idiot too.”

“Cheers to that,” You responded. “God, I wish I was drunk right now.” 

Steve laughed at your words and then opened his mouth to say something. For some reason, you had a feeling that he was going to try and coax you out of the bathroom again, and you were still unsure if you wanted to get up just yet, so you decided to say something before he could. “Do you ever want something serious?”

He was quiet for a second, as if really thinking about your question. “I don’t know… It changes a lot.” You nodded at that before he continued. “Most of the time I think I do, though.”

“Well, with what you just said about the girls you date and with what happened to me tonight, I think you and I are just gonna be alone together forever.”

He let out a small laugh. “I think so too.”

You smiled at him. “And I know that should sound at least a little bit sad, but right now, it honestly doesn’t.”

He smiled back at you. “Yeah, that actually sounds okay.”

Neither of you got the chance to say anything else because the sound of the door opening caught both of your attention. 

“Okay, two things,” You both recognized Robin’s voice before she pulled back the curtain to look down at you two. “One, I really need to pee so I need you both to get out of here, please. And two, Eddie pulled Harold out of his cage and is trying to teach him to do tricks.” 

You groaned as you started standing up. “Oh, God. Not again.” 

Steve followed suit, standing up as well, as he rolled his eyes. “Why is that always his go-to thing to do when he’s high?”

Robin laughed, you easily noticed how tipsy she was. “And what makes it even funnier is that he does this all the time but Harold has not actually learned any “trick” yet.” 

“The day that Eddie somehow teaches him how to “roll over,” I will pass away in shock,” You said as you adjusted your dress, fixing how much it had ridden up while you were sitting in the tub.

You and Steve stepped out of your bathroom to let Robin use it. But, you hesitated to open your bedroom door and let you two step back into the party happening in the rest of the apartment. 

Steve easily noticed your hesitation and his hand found yours, giving it a light reassuring squeeze. “You handle Eddie, and if Charlie is still here, I’ll tell him to leave, okay?” 

You inwardly sighed in relief hearing him say that because, of course, he knew the exact thing you had been worried about.

“Thanks.” There was so much more said in the simple one-word— thank you for reading my mind, thank you for always being able to do so, thank you for being the best goddamn person in my life. 

Steve nodded and gave your hand another squeeze, hearing all of those underlying words and then some. “I have been waiting all night to do this, actually, so thank you. And we’re playing the Uno drinking game after.”

You smiled at that and gave him a quick nod. “Okay.”

You then opened your door and stepped out, giving Steve’s hand a squeeze of your own before pulling away as you started making your way toward Eddie, who was sitting on the couch with Harold in his lap. You pretended as if you were completely unaffected when you briefly noticed Charlie standing in your kitchen and talking to the same girl he had pointed out to you earlier. 

“Edward Munson put Harold back in his cage right now.” 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know ur thoughts<333

(also requests are open for stuff you wanna see in the universe/series!🫶🏾)

[blueraith]

Y'all ever notice that bad faith Caitvi takes always seem to write paragraphs of complaints and yet never actually provide cited moments from canon to support their arguments?

Like, they’ll write a book over how Caitvi was rushed or how Caitlyn doesn't respect Vi, and it's nothing but complete projection.

They never source episodes, never reference episode moments and CERTAINLY never, ever timestamp.

Where's your evidence? How are you supporting your arguments? If you're going to make an analysis, you have to cite your sources. This is basic bitch, English lit stuff. Like, you start formally learning how to do this in high school in America. Those short answer questions you had to provide a page number and small excerpt along with your answer/analysis for your end of year state exams? Those weren't just "well, now that I've graduated, I never have to do that again, thank goodness."

No, you numpty. That was a life skill you learned. USE IT FOR YOUR HOBBY ANALYSIS TOO. How else will anyone take your bullshit seriously? It doesn't even need to be as formal as it was in school. My own analysis usually just goes, "y'all remember that part where Cait did [x]? Well, in that part...."

This isn't hard stuff. It's probably the number two reason why antis get an auto block from me. The first is that y'all are miserable. The second is that y'all are miserable with the audacity to lecture other people about your shitty takes without even a WHISPER of supporting, canon evidence for your shitposts.

[necrocrafter]

MCD Episode 1 Transcript

I apologize for the wait and for how long this post is. I was honestly jumping back and forth on what was too much or what wasn't enough because I wanted to ensure everyone was able to find what they were looking for. Whether it was only lore bits, details on the setting or just fun observations. I just said fuck it so you guys get everything. If you find or have any critiques on how to make this more organized, then by all means go for it! Without further ado, I hope you like this transcript.

() - side notes 

(( )) - my commentary

[] - Timestamps

{} - MCCA Villager dialogue

Introduction [0:00]

Jess starts off by introducing the 2nd season of diaries

Shows us a signed book in her inventory that is titled "Diaries". It holds entries of all her adventures (in days) of each episode of the previous season (which I think is now non-canon and unconnected to Diaries). 

"I did a ton of crazy stuff. I had a family, I raised a village, I got a Pegasus and a unicorn! It was crazy, I even became the Avatar at some point. But like all good adventures, they come to an end. However, a new one is beginning right here, right now." [0:20-0:40]

The diary ends in, "My journey has ended, but a new one is just beginning…”

Jess shows us the little "headspace" room she's in with her cat, Johnny Cat. She puts the previous diary away on a shelf before heading towards a desk to begin a new saga of adventures.

Episode Starts [1:05]

The opening scene starts at the edge of the village of Phoenix Drop, where the forest (a mix of birch and oak) line meets the last pathway around a farm plot. A man in chainmail outlined with a golden colored metal with a helmet that only allows to see his brown eyes and the barest hint of brown hair peeks through (Zenix) is speaking with another man in distinct armor, white garbs with a long black cross-like symbol on the front and chainmail; his face completely covered by his helm (Garroth)

"What are we gonna do? Since our last lord passed away, the people have been going crazy. Not to mention, we're running low on local resources. And we have no connection to the other villages." -Zenix

"Zenix, do not worry. I have a plan." -Garroth 

As they speak with each other, Zenix turns around sharply, his head whipping around before his body turns towards a perceived disturbance.

"Wait, did you hear that?" - Zenix 

The frame zooms out to a man cloaked in black and green who is hiding behind an oak tree a few paces away. A single green eye peeks out from behind a curtain of brown hair, his face carefully hidden away in a black hooded cowl outlined in grey with an equally grey neck gaiter. He's wearing a long-sleeved green top with a brown leather waist belt (?) with a gold buckle. His hands are covered in elbow length (?) brown fingerless arm gloves (Vylad)

The mysterious man turns and takes off into the forest

Cutscene Ends - Gameplay/RP begins [1:28]

Aphmau has spawned into the world, with the typical Minecraft starting day cycle beginning. She's wearing a purple crop top, grey half gloves, short purple daisy duke's (?) and black knee-high boots with purple laces-outline. She's in the middle of an oak forest in a small clearing in front of a water hole.

She's addressing the viewers, "Day 1, and now it is time to, of course, find some shelter before the night falls."

Looking towards the sky above the treetops, she sees the sun just rising above. "As you can see, the day has just begun, so I've got plenty of time." Grassy oak-birch forest with alliums, orange tulips, and azure bluets. The sky is clear with faint wisp of clouds.

She begins to head through the forest, "There's a lot of trees around here, so I should be good in terms of getting like a crafting bench going and all that kind of stuff but let's just go ahead and try to find like a nice little hole." ((Real)) 

Aphmau continues to climb up hills, past birch trees, and through short grass sprinkled with roses (poppy’s), red & orange tulips.

She stops to examine small craters in the ground, displaying dissatisfaction at not hiding a deep hole

"That...that's not a-that's a terrible hole! I'm not going to go in there, but let's try to find, like a nice little hole or something I can-" 

She continues to wander past the hole and up to the crest of the hill. Only to stop at seeing a person in the distance.

Aphmau sees a mysterious hooded man in green and black (player username, Vylad) in the distance, punching a birch tree, gathering logs, and she runs in his direction, running down the hill and past the thick, low hanging, tree branches.

"Hey, there's a guy over there. Come here, I need to talk to you! I need to find a nice little hole. If you happen to know like" 

She stops as she comes upon his previous location, he has disappeared 

"Wh-where'd he go?- Oh my god, he did..." 

She comes upon the birch tree he'd been punching and finds that he left it floating. She gazes at it in disdain and takes a quick peeved inhale before looking around. 

"...that really upsets me. The fact that-" [1:50-2:05]

While she's distracted by the floating logs of the tree, he waits in the background for her attention to once again find him. She continues chasing after him, to which he flees; seemingly leading her somewhere

Through clearings, flower patches (peonies, rose bush patches, dandelions), past a rather large watering hole.

"Come here! Hey! Come here, I need to talk to you-You just left that tree...you just really left that tree undone. You just literally were-" she keeps running after him, not stopping even when he runs past two men at the edge of a farm plot of wheat. 

"Oh my god, that guy is getting attacked by that guard."

The man leads her straight to two guards, nametags reading Zenix and Garroth. He runs past Garroth, who gives chase and attacks him whilst doing so. (Garroth hits him once (?))

Aphmau continues past them, even as Garroth walks past her to return to his spot. She looks around but sees he's disappeared.

"Where-Where'd he go? Where'd he go?...um alright. But...he's gone, but ya know what? He led me to a village. And there's some awesome guards here. This guard is pretty cool. What are you doing?" She turns back towards the two men before her and turns to speak with Garroth first. [2:30]

"I don't think anyone in the village will listen to any of the guards. Not after how terrible the last Lord was..." -Garroth

"Now that the Lord is gone, the village is in chaos. What are we going to do?" -Zenix

"Oh...oh! What kind of chaos is the village going through?" She travels around the wheat farm edge heading into the village onto the wooden plank pathway, past small huts, and a village library. 'Cause I could help out. I mean, I just spawned in the world so I could absolutely like take over this village and become the new terrible lord... I mean, awesome lord."

She stops at a tight intersection with a well in the middle. "...oh my god. OH MY GOD, there are so many people in here! Literally in this water!" ((The Well has claimed its victims))

She takes a horrified yet stunned look at how many people are trapped in the village well whilst also being greeted by the other town citizens like it's a normal occurrence. ((You know that one The Hole meme? Yeah, it feels like that)) [2:56]

The first person to greet her is Emmalyn the Librarian {"Greetings.}, followed by Dale the Guard {"Oh, hello. Aphmau, was it"}, Stephanie the Farmer {"Hey, what's up?"}, Jeremy the Guard {"Oh, hello there"}, Aidan the Farmer {Good day to you, Aphmau"}

She tries to go past The Well as she contemplates

"I don't know where that other guy went, but I-oh crap."

Not watching where she was walking, she falls into a hole. ((LMAO))

"Oh hey, here's my hole. Look at that." It's a small cave tunnel filled with stone, gravel, dirt, and large veins of coal. "This is a nice hole to begin in."

She begins to climb her way out the hole through a small gap to the surface next to another hut

"All right, so really, let's go ahead and see what's going on in this village”

Gets greeted by more villagers; Arthur the Farmer {"You must be new around here"}, Brendan the Farmer {"Oh, hello. Aphmau, was it?"}

She wanders back towards The Well, trying to get a vantage point of where to go next.

"So I got a lot of people here, and there's a lot of people literally taking a little nice bubble bath."

She gets greeted by a woman named Molly, the farmer, who is also trapped in The Well {"Hi, stranger."}

"And, um, I don't see that-"

She's cut off as she falls into the same hole she fell into moments ago ((Bruh, LMAO))

"Gosh darn it, I did the same thing again."

She climbs out and glares at The Well

"That is really going to hurt somebody, and uh, that's not going to be a good thing, and there's-"

She climbs the rooftop of a small hut and then looks down and sees a man with green eyes, black hair, in pale-bright green clothes, staring at her (Brendan). She stares back.

"Hey, look, there's like a bolin skin there, and who is that-?" [3:28]

She hops off the roof but is cut off as she, once again, falls back into the same hole. ((LMFAO and she teases Laurance for falling into holes when she's just as bad))

"Oh my goodness, that's the third time!"

She stands next to The Well, looking at Brendan, who hasn't stopped watching her.

"All right, first time shame on you, second time shame on me third time I don't know what's going on."

She turns her attention forward, down a long pathway, past two large farms. The one on the left has 4 plots; 3 of the 4 plots are in rows of 2, which contain wheat all next to each other, while the last row are carrots.

"But all right, so we got Brendan the farmer, and we have a bunch of stuff to work with."

The one on the right has the same setup principle as the left one, but a plot of carrots is set in between that separates the 3 plots of wheat. (Left: Wheat, Wheat, Wheat, Carrots | Right: Wheat, Carrots, Wheat, Wheat) [3:42]

She takes a look at the crops while slowly walking down the pathway

"We also have a lot of food here, which is something that was about to be a problem, but now that I'm actually here in this village, I don't have to worry about that anymore."

She gets atop the right farm's edge and begins to punch the carrots without, initially, replanting them

"All right, so let's go ahead and get settled in here. I don't think that they're going to mind if I'm here."

She proceeds out the farm, climbing up the hill towards a woman and a man who was watching her in the farm. The man happens to be Brendan, once again, watching her, but from inside a patch of lilacs ((omfg, he scared the HECK out of me. I didn't realize he was there until I looked at the paused screen)) [3:56]

“I mean Lilith the farmer. L-Lili-Lili-sorry. Lin-Linda-Lil-Lydia the farmer!”

She continues on past them up the hill until she hits the wood pathway, turning left, quickly looking around at a medium sized house with a chicken yard in the back and another farm of wheat before turning right back towards the center of the village back to The Well.

“All right so there's a lot of stuff that needs to go on here, but I think I'm going to go ahead and settle in this village. Um, I know I was looking for a hole but I kind of already found it down below, especially inside of the nice little well.”

She proceeds to run back towards the beginning edges of town, zeroing in on an oak tree.

“Um so first things first let's go ahead and start with the crafting bench. The basics of Minecraft. Literally visit-visiting the basics of Minecraft.”

She then proceeds to choose a tree near where Garroth and Zenix are still standing watch, and proceeds to punch the middle log, circling it whilst delivering precise precision jabs, collecting the logs from bottom to top. ((I just KNOW Zenix and Garroth are losing their minds LMAO)) [4:25]

“Um I think what I'm going to do is, I'm going to stay in this village now and uh, ooh! First achievement.”

“Aww I always love getting that first achievement because it's just like you're building your way up and I might even try to keep track of like, the achievements that I have. So that way I can try to get them all but I'm sure that will happen in due time. But let's go ahead get this village started.”

“Um, first let's start by fixing that stupid hole that's-that's incredibly annoying.”

She stops to look at The Well and the people stuck bobbing inside [4:50]

“Um and saving those poor people down in The Well. All right um, uh let's see this is nice-”

She stops and whirls around as she hears and sees the distinct sound of a burning zombie lumbering from the hole as it climbs to attack the vulnerable people in The Well.

“Oh, oh my god! there that zombie is about to destroy those people and I just realized that I spawned in with a bunch of really cool stuff!” [5:00] (Hotbar: 6 ½ health, 5 ½ hunger. Pet wand 1st slot, Doggy charm 2nd slot, Command Emblem 3rd slot, 33 Carrots 4th slot, 5 oak wood 5th slot)

All while she casually jumps from her perch above on the path down in front of the zombie. Punching it with the oak wood logs in hand.

She goes to show off her hotbar items, focused on them whilst also acknowledging the 2 other zombies that come burning and lumbering past her, focused on the helpless villagers in The Well.

“Um right here I have a Doggy charm, a Command Elm, and a Pet Wand which I'm going to use to destroy-!!”

She goes to try and hit them with the wand, but it does not work, retreating back before becoming determined (This type of creature must be under the effect of a potion of weakness to be tamed) [5:08]

“Oh okay…I can't use that okay. I'm just going to destroy them with my own bare hands!! I'll show these villagers how hardcore I can be.”

Knocking them back into the hole, kills both of them without taking damage

“There we go I saved you guys from the zombies.”

She earns and collects the XP and 2 zombie brains in slot 6 before climbing out the hole back to the surface.

“Awesome all right so you know we're going to have like a little rocky start here not as Rocky as these people because they're just they're just they're just terribly terribly doomed and hey there's a crafting bench here, so I don't even have to worry and why did I-”

Aphmau explores a large house next to The Well and finds it to be a Library, with books, a table + benches, and a crafting bench. She goes to use it but instead of interacting with it, she ends up in Brendans NPC interface which causes her to eat a zombie brain. She gets the hunger effect (Last for 30 seconds)

“Brenden you made me eat a zombie brain I…don't want to see you again! Just, just-just follow me, please follow me here. You need a…you need a since you're a farmer, I'm going to take you all the way over here because you could, this could be like, your little farmhouse Brendan yeah. Or Bolin since his skin is actually like a Bolin kind of skin.”

She leads him down the pathway past the farms and sets him up in a large house across from a very tiny house ((BABE HOUSE))

“So I'm going to put you right in here since I-I have some-some stuff to spare. You can come in here. See come on you, can do it. Aww man, I just housed one person-”

He then proceeds to run out the house ((me too buddy))

“Hey, hey! Where are you going!?!”

He proceeds to turn right back around to her ((he’s so real for this cause I’d be scared of this random scary woman too))

“Stay right here this is your house now Brendan it's nobody else's house but yours you have your nice little place.”

She leaves and heads back up the path

“I'm already being a better to-be-Lord than the other person was.”

She walks past 3 people but only one says anything {Adian the Farmer: Hi, stranger} [6:25]

“Hello, Aiden the farmer!”

“All right, Aiden is doing his thing, uh wow so now that we have Aiden, we have a lot of farmers here. I'm going to have to see what I can do as far as helping them all out.”

She goes back into the Library where she interacts with the crafting bench (taking a single plank, making wood to make sticks, and making a wooden sword and placing everything in her hotbar but the sword in her inventory) [6:38]

She crafts a sword, wooden axe and pickaxe

She heads outside and is greeted by 2 people: Stephanie the Farmer {Are you new around here?} and Jeremy the Guard {I haven’t seen you around before.} [7:13]

“Plus, we have a bunch of carrots, we have some zombie brains, um and we're going to free these people right here because they are just utterly dying.”

She observes while eating 3 carrots and 2 more people call out to her: Kent the Guard {Oh, hello there.} and Molly the Farmer {Greetings.}

She takes her pickaxe and destroys 2 cobblestone walls

“So let's see, I would at least like to have like, a nice little place settled into-”

“There we go, your free people run!” she watches as they all practically stay stuck only a few guards rushing out “Get out of there…” Dale the Guard free’s himself only to immediately fall back in just as Molly pulls herself out, turning to watch him fall only to turn towards Aphmau.

“Don't-don't okay…Molly just like, ‘hey I was in my bath, this is what this how I-this is how I get clean every now and then’”.

She looks to Stephanie, Emmalyn, and Molly, telling them to follow her. Stephanie { Where are you taking me?} Emmalyn {Where are we going?} Molly {Okay. I’ll come along} ((Molly, love, where are your survival instincts)) [7:43]

“All right follow me how about, you follow me. You follow me. I'm going to save the babes first. Come on babes, let's go let's go.” They follow and she takes them down the path to the tiny house across from where she put brenden.

“I'm going to-I'm going to move all the babes out this way! Oh look! They're all following me. They-they are all babes holy crap. All right so this is going to be the Babe House right here. Come on-come on in ladies. So you stay right here. Um or follow me”

The ladies then proceed to repeatedly open and close the door rapidly

“Actually if you guys-if you guys could stop opening the door that would be fantastic. It's kind of just slamming in my ear. Um, alright so you guys just stay outside of the Babe House, how-how about that? You stay there and then you stay there. There we go. Alright, so this is the Babe House right now.

She walks back to The Well

“Um I saved them, they are now in depth-depth, not they're not in depth, they're in debt to me.” [8:22-8:29]

She looks at the guards and people still stuck in The Well

“...and the guards, well the guards are really dumb. No wonder nobody's gonna listen to them!”

Acting- “I say villagers it's time we take a bath together, a bath we can't get out of!”

“All right so I don't think…I think the guards are pretty much doomed…um yeah they're doomed”, she says as she puts the cobblestone back, trapping those inside

She chops some oak trees nearby using her wooden axe

“Least try to upgrade my weapons, try to get some um..maybe a nice bed inside of my place? Um I don't even know if I'm allowed to have like the big house. I'm assuming that it's, I mean, I haven't seen like a Lord's house or anything around here, so I'm assuming that all these houses are up for grabs since the village is really kind of in like, quite literally, in chaos.” [8:57-9:18]

Walking back past The Well both Derek and Emma the guard both say, {“You must be new around here.”} [9:18]

“I-I actually am new around here and I actually haven't properly introduced myself.”

She looks into The Well and see’s everyone still in there Derek the Guard, Emma the Guard, Dale the Guard, and Kent the Guard. With Dale asking, {“Are you new around here?”} while Kent says, {“Hi, stranger.”} ((omg I did NOT remember Dale being in The Well THIS much-))

Aphmau goes to interact (chat) with Kent, laughing at seeing all the guards bobbing in the water

“Um Kent the guard..all the..nobody's going to listen to you guys if you keep acting like that.” [9:24-9:30]

He replies back with, {“You heard this from where?”}

Aphmau responds with, “I've heard things from everywhere, actually.” ((That sounds mad spooky ngl))

She goes to walk away but sees another guard trying to pass her fall into The Well [9:35]

“Yeah, see the guards just keep, they just keep going inside! they are so bad-”

She then falls into The Hole ((LMAO))

“-I got to fix all of this!”

She decides to take the opportunity to mine some stone (gathers 7 cobblestone)

“As I continue this series, I'm definitely going to have to make sure that I do a lot of farming.” [9:50-9:56]

She collects some coal from a nearby vein (collects 8 pieces)

Gets distracted by a name tag through the cobblestone (probably a villager in The Well) and then hears a cave noise

“What is that? What is that..what is that noise, that was creepy. That was like, really creepy!”

She goes back to mining stone as she notices that the sun is beginning to set (gathers 6 more cobblestone, making 13 in total)

She heads out The Hole [10:50]

She’s greeted by Cameron the Baker{“Oh, hello there.”}

She cheerfully chirps back, “Hello there, Cameron the baker! It's good to see you.”

She spies Lydia the Farmer on an adjacent rooftop [10:58]

“We have a lot of farmers here.”

She goes into the library just as Derek and Emma the guards call out to her again Derek {Oh, hello. Aphmau, was it?} and Emma{Are you new around here?} [11:01]

Aphmau heads to the crafting bench and begins to craft a stone sword

Adian the farmer pops in {You must be new around here} before going to stand on the crafting bench, looking at her [11:08-11:10]

“Why do people keep coming and Stan-why do people keep coming and-!” he suddenly disappears

Flabbergasted and slightly panicked, Aphmau looks around the library, calling out, “where did you go!?... What is going on? Where did he go? Where did he-”, outside the glass windows shows that it’s almost night time and she then heads back to the crafting bench to then finish up

“I'm assuming he went to bed but that was just creepy as heck! I mean, come on! You don't just stand on somebody's crafting table, look at them, and then disappear! It's completely rude!”

Aphmau quickly makes a stone shovel, stone pickaxe, and axe

“Okay, I'll go with it, if that's how this village wants to play. This is a little weird.” [11:34]

Aphmau then proceeds to make some torches, stating, “Of course, I need some torches, and I think we're going to set down some torches here in the village, if there aren't some there already. I don't think there are, uh, because just traveling around, I haven't seen anything crazy, but I'm going to go ahead and just..you know, kind of light up my area.” (Made 16 torches, placing 2 in the library before heading out; 14 left)

Looking around, night has completely fallen. She spies the guards nearby, still in The Well.

“I feel so bad for those guards. Okay, um so… I can't help but laugh at them because they're just being silly now.” (Placing 2 more torches on either side of the libraries door; 12 left)

Almost falling into The Hole again, she takes the rest of her cobblestone and covers the top half up

“Now- Oh god, I hear zombies.”

Going down into The Hole and places a few torches as she travels through it (5 torches; only 7 left)

“Let's just start to get the mine going, um, so I can start digging down deep and finding out feelings and stuff like that-” as she walks past another opening, placing another torch, she sees two mobs (creeper and skeleton) in the entrance but only the creeper goes to attack her, “oh God there's a creeper, oh god there's a skeleton.”

Drawing her stone sword, Aphmau fights the creeper off. Hitting, retreating, repeat.

“Go away Creeper! Shoo shoo shoo!”

She successfully kills it as it drops XP (3?) and two gunpowder. She runs to collect it, turns the corner and see’s the skeleton right there

She kills it, only losing 1 heart of damage and getting 1 arrow and XP

Taking a breath and telling herself, “she’s fine, she’s good.”

“I hear zombies and I don't like it. I don’t like it at all.”

She goes and mines a nearby wall, thinking the zombies are behind the stone (collects 12 cobblestone; 13 cobblestone in hotbar slot 6) before turning back to the coal vein from earlier (collects 8 coal)

Still seeing the nametag, she digs towards them to see if she can get them out (collects 19 cobble; 32 cobblestone in total)

“I still see more like, little health bar thingies, down that way, so let me go take a look in here, see if I can find something. ‘Cuz these guards-are they drowning? Like are they legit drowning?”

She mines a block and The Well water rushes past her

“Oh God! See I have a feeling that this would be a wonderful idea if-if-”

She places the block back and realizes the name tag is gone [13:58]

“Oh my God! Are they dead!? Did they die, did they drown!? WHAT! They're gone…”

Aphmau goes and mines some stone + coal (12 cobble and 2 coal; 44 cobblestone in total)

“I'm a little sad, but at least we know why the village isn't going to listen to the guards anymore, because they're just going to get themselves murtalized and stuff ((The little sniffle jess makes ;-;))

She leaves the small cave through the furthest exit, leading into the woods by the farms [14:32]

Collecting flowers along the way as goes back towards the housing area, she thinks about her next move, contemplating how she hasn’t properly interacted with anyone (collects 2 white tulips and lilacs)

Going towards The Well, she sees a group of 5 zombies (3 being attacked by the guards in The Well, and 2 she kills herself) [14:57]

“Oh gosh. Oh gosh! There they are, there's a zombies! They were trying to attack the guards”

Noticing the guards hitting the zombies from The Well

“Oh, the guards are smart, they're hiding themselves…you cowards don't do that. You got to come out and fight. Fight for your right… to party.” ((lol))

Aphmau breaks the barriers once more, with Dale immediately rushing out only to turn around ((with the speed)), knocking both he and Emma the Guard, who was almost out The Well, right back in ((LMFAO))

Seeing this, Aphmau gives up and walks away leaving The Well sides open

“I'm going to leave that open just in case the guards decide that they're going to stop being so flaky.”

Looking around curiously, she checks the small hut next to The Well and see’s Aiden sleeping

“Oh, this is where Aiden the farmer lives”

Closing the door, she goes past the farms towards the Babe House and Brendan’s home. As she approaches, she sees zombies going after them

“Then we got the-BABES! Oh, they need, they need help! They need help, they need help, they need help!”

Rushing forward, she slays the zombie at the door while a sleeping Emmalyn and Emma remain unaware of the chaos

“These babes are lucky that these monsters didn't go after them.”

Turning, she sees 3 more zombies trying to get to Brendan

“Oh gosh, oh gosh. Why are-oh my gosh! The zombies are trying to get my babes” ((Is Brendan being counted as a Babe lmao??)) [15:35-15:46]

She tries to get Emmalyn and Stephanie inside but they won’t budge so Aphmau hit’s Stephanie {Ow! Why did you hit me?} (losing 1 point of health; 19/20.0)

She apologizes to Stephanie but asks her to go inside, which she does, before turning to Emmalyn and hitting her too {Ow! Why did you hit me? Before quickly saying Oh, hello. Aphmau was it?} [16:09]

Tries to get her to follow her (clicking move instead of follow me), trying to explain and apologize for hitting her

“I'm sorry I had to hit you, I didn't mean to-...I really didn't mean to, but I'm trying to save your life here! I'm trying to save your life, I'm thinking of you. Come here-!”

Seeing that Emmalyn hasn’t come through the open door, she panics

“Hurry before the zombies and the spiders get in! Where'd you go!?” [16:24]

Going outside, she sees that Emmalyn has completely disappeared

“She does doesn't like me anymore, and I completely-”

Just like she predicted, a spider jumps from the babe house to Brendans roof and goes to attack her ((LMAO)) [16:30]

She kills it gaining XP and 2 string (losing 1 health point; at 5 health and 5 hunger)

Going back to the library, she goes past Dale and Gary the Guard, with Gary saying {Hey, what’s up?} [16:43]

“I’m going to go into my house (the library) and retreat for the night”

Aphmau proceeds to eat 3 carrots to fully restore her hunger and health (27 carrots left)

She turns seeing Emmalyn run in [16:55]

“Oh hey, look she made it! You made it! I'm so happy you're here.”

She commands Emmalyn to stay (Emmalyn likes her at 1 heart, her mood: agitated, trait irritable)

“You can stay with me tonight, all right? You can-I'm sorry. I'm sorry about having to wake you up with such a rude manner, but you know, I really just…I really was looking out for your safety Emmalyn the Librarian.” ((Insane since that’s her own house and omg I didn’t see Dale patrolling (looking up inside) outside the house)) [17:03-17:13]

Aphmau proceeds to look around the library, realizing something

“You know, this is actually a nice place for you. So you can hang out here, because I got lots of books! You can read books and have like, a great time!” ((LMFAO this is insane within canon lore. Is this considered gaslighting??))

Aphmau tries to reassure her and make her stay

“Here you, you'll be, we'll be fine. We-you'll be fine, don't worry. I got you baby.” [17:20]

Aphmau does her begins her outro, turning and looking outside the large library window before going outside to talk to herself

Dale greets her with {I haven’t seen you around before} [17:27]

“We still have a lot of questions that need to be answered like, where did that guy go in the beginning and how am I going to actually fix up this village? Because it seems like a lot more problems than I had originally anticipated!”

Standing on the rooftop of the house in front of the library, she looks out around her, spotting a creeper wandering at a cave entrance above the Babe house

“We got a creeper infestation problem over there,” going to The Well she begins to pull out her cobblestone [17:41]

“We got our guards, which are making like, a huge guard soup here...I might have to like just cover this thing up”

Seeing no one in The Well ((a surprise tbh)), she uses her cobblestone to remake the barrier and then places 6 cobblestone overtop so no one can fall in ((I thought she was gonna accidentally get rid of the water for a second))

She goes back into the Library, Emmalyn greeting her {How can I help you?}

“And I will see you all, in the next episode. Until then, hopefully Emmalyn won’t be mad at us anymore. Take care! Bye-Bye!” [18:01-18:10]

Episode Ends Cue Nostalgic Outro Music

Not sure if you all wanted to be tagged, so I hope you this is okay! @hetaverseshit @cloverrae @shuublebunny @mcdgarroth @faenemy @shadowknightapologist @will-do-anything-for-a-dollar @biscuits-spooky-diner @lyraofthestarsss @its-dark-girl @bluepenstemon @mina919 @woetothepeople

[kaiasky]

Complete-ish Guide To Settings You Might Want to Change

These instructions will be for desktop, because the settings are easier to find there. You can do the same on mobile, but it might be in different places.

Dash settings

Your dashboard is broken down into several feeds, including "Following" and "For You".

"Following" is primarily the posts of people you follow, "For You" is algorithmic.

If you just joined, "For You" is default, if you're a longtime user it's "Following". You can change this in the settings on the right

A lot of longtime users will tell you that the Following feed is where we spend most of our time. But try out all the feeds, and see what you like most.

The settings that are settings:

To start, click the settings gear under the account icon (the abstract person head).

This should take you to the General tab. Key settings:

Community Labels: By default anything NSFW is silently hidden. You can change how each subtype is handled.

Hide Additional Mature Content: If you have an iPhone disable this or it'll hide every post from you on the off-chance it contains porn.

If you're under 18 as determined by the birthdate you entered on signup, you can't change these. (If you want them on, you'll have to make a new account and lie)

Under the "Dashboard" tab, you can enable timestamps, which is mostly just nice information to have. sometimes a post is from 2010 and you can be like wow.

The next four probably have the biggest impact on your tumblr experience, so I'm gonna do a breakdown.

Best Stuff First reorders your "Following" to have popular posts at the top. Disabling it makes your feed chronological. I like it off, but up to you.

Include Stuff In Your Orbit and Based On Your Likes put various content from "For You" into "Following". Personally, I disable them to keep "Following" purely posts by people I follow, and then switch between feeds to get what I want.

Followed Tag Posts will put content from the "Your Tags" feed into your "Following" feed. Since you can go to the separate tags feed, I usually turn this off (it tends to show me a lot of duplicate posts), but up to you.

Under the "Notifications" tab you can tell Tumblr to stop sending you emails.

I'd recommend disabling all the emails--if you get a bunch of replies, Tumblr will happily send you dozens of emails, and you don't need that.

Notifications is the push-notifications in-app/in-website. The mobile app, for some reason, has a much better interface for controlling these, including the option to only get activity-notifications for mutuals. You can leave these on, or turn them off if you find the flood of notifications is distracting.

Tumblr News is a newsletter, it usually just has content from @fandom and the other staff-run recap blogs.

Conversational notifications sends you more emails.

Under the "Tumblr Labs" tab you can enable a bunch of cool beta tests.

I particularly suggest Reblog Graphs, What you Missed tab, & Popular Reblogs tab, but they're all fun to try out. A lot of these are honestly better than the For You dashboard.

For each blog you have, you can customize it's Blog Settings. Beyond things like setting an avatar or description, there's a few settings that are fun.

Custom Theme gives you your own subdomain at [blogurl].tumblr.com.

This makes your blog easier to search, and a lot of 3rd party tools depend on you enabling it. It also makes it easier to link your posts to people who don't have tumblr accounts.

You can completely customize the CSS/HTML/Javascript. you can go legitimately crazy. It's not a requirement, but if you want unlimited flexibility, go wild.

On the contrary, if you wanna run a more private blog, you can disable this and then hide your blog from search results/non-registered users.

Likes and Following are public by default. I like to turn these off so I don't have to worry about like, "what will people think if they see i'm following [...] or liking [...]". But it's also fair to keep them public if you'd like.

The other Blog Settings are important but pretty self-explanatory I think.

Finally, there's some useful tools I like:

XKit Rewritten - A bunch of scripts (like RES for Reddit). The one I really like is "mutual checker", which shows at a glance which blogs you are in mutuals with. Which is such a good feature it's included in the mobile apps by default i think.

siikr.tumblr.com - Tumblr search is bad, and google's indexing of tumblr blogs is worse. Siikr will find any post you've made on your blog. Because disk space is limited, only use it to search your blog, and if you're tech savvy consider running a local copy from source.

[gaymarasov]

Some really great stuff from the SciFi Vision interview with Vanessa Prasad below the cut, transcript edited for clarity and brevity. Genlissa Truthers rise, no one rings the dinner bell quite like Vanessa Prasad!

[Video timestamp 20:40]

I: Do you think Gen is jealous of Shauna and Melissa's relationship?

Prasad: I think so actually, I do. Things become a little bit more complicated towards the end of the season, and you guys have already started to see that, but she absolutely was. Sometimes the final edit is different from what was written on the page, and different from what we were acting in the moment. Sometimes scenes are taken out entirely between what was shot and then what makes the final cut in the end, so sometimes we have justification to our actions or like little conversations or moments that happen that you guys may not see. For example, in the last episode that you guys just watched, Croak, there's a scene where I bump into Natalie when I'm walking because Natalie emerges from the the animal pen and is like "I'm not doing this anymore" right, with Coach Ben. So Natalie comes out, and I bump her, and what it seems is happening is that [Gen] is being quite rude and bumping her almost on purpose, when that is actually not the case. What was happening [in that scene] is that Gen was watching something going on between Melissa and Shauna, and her focus was on that happening, and being put off by what she was looking at, because by this point, freaking Melissa is like, sharing her hut now with Shauna! Gen has been alone, and it's just like she's kind of going through it honestly. That scene is a perfect example, you can see that she's clearly jealous of what's going on. She's concerned for Melissa's sake, because you know Gen doesn't really trust Shauna, I don't think most people do. And there are so many moments like that where it's Gen trying to overcompensate, trying so hard to be a part of their unit once she kind of realizes "Okay, well at the end of the day, I love my friend, so if my only option is to go over to Shauna's side then maybe that's something I have to do."

I: Like in the one scene where you push Natalie and repeat what Melissa says. You want to be on their team.

Prasad: Exactly, yeah, totally. And again, that's a perfect example of another scene where I completely understand why fans were pissed at Gen! They're like "What gives what gives you the right to be pushing Nat?" Especially after she taught you how to hunt, and all this other stuff! Gen has an actually huge amount of respect for Natalie, and you will see that later on, but that was a perfect example of a scene where little things were cut out. There's a very clear moment where Gen pushes Natalie, and as far as the script is concerned, it specifically says that Gen looks straight to Melissa and Shauna for approval, and neither of them look at her after she does it. So then there's a moment of regret, of "I just did that to Nat and I didn't even want to do it and they don't even care", right? So it's little pieces like that. So, I mean, a long- winded answer to your question, but yeah. She was definitely jealous of what was happening with Shauna and Melissa.

[mint-and-authoress]

Slime HRT - Progress Report II

<<| ⏯️ |>>

[The video opens with a familiar bedroom setup from previous recordings. In the top right corner a timestamp of ‘10 Weeks’ is shown.]

“Okay, ten weeks. We’re ten freaking weeks into this. I’m honestly really excited for this update actually because…”

[Elise stands back a few feet and rolls up her sleeves to reveal her arms. The skin has shifted from translucent to transparent, and the musculature is present underneath, a mix of bluish-gray and red.]

“Skin’s gone! …Well, not gone gone, but it’s totally cleared up! It’s all see-through now, and that means the muscle’s gonna go next. Which I’m a little nervous about.

“Yeah… that last bit at the end of the first video was my dad kinda outing me on his own because I didn’t have a chance to cover up. And that’s kinda led to this Transspecies Cold War that I’ve been forced to take part in for like… 3 weeks now? Luckily my mother is oblivious to all this so I’ve managed to skirt around that volcanic eruption. Dad hasn’t said a word to me, though, which is a bit weird, but I’m honestly fine with not talking to him. Freeing, in a sense.

“Anyway, important things first! In terms of my transition timeline, I’m actually a little ahead of schedule! Which, don’t get me wrong, it’s really exciting to experience this stuff and confirm it’s all really happening, but also kinda puts a bit of a wrench into my plans. Some gunk in the cogs, I don’t know. I’ve been trying to use more slime puns, but I’m not sure if it’s for me.”

[Elise stares off for a second before snapping back to reality.]

“...Right, the wrench. Problem. Whatever it was. Right, my job! I’m a bit worried about how long I’ll be able to keep working, seeing as though I’m gonna basically have muscular dystrophy advancing throughout my body at a rapid rate. I don’t do a ton of heavy lifting, at most I’d struggle with lifting mannequins but we barely do that. Mostly just hanging clothes and gettin stuff hung up.

“My skin, or my surface now, I guess, is a bit stickier now? From what I can tell, the surface is just a slime’s version of skin; all the goop you’d imagine just comes from underneath to gather sensory input. I guess that hasn’t happened yet because 1) I don’t have that goop yet–the goop that’ll come from all my muscles, I mean–and 2) I still have a human’s nervous system so I can still touch and understand that feeling.

“So far so good, though. No more skin, no more breakouts. Hopefully the muscles are just as cooperative.”

[The segment ends. The next segment fades in and Elise looks notably different. Her hair is gone and has been replaced with a shorter ‘haircut’ made entirely from slime. She wears a t-shirt and long pants. Elise’s surface is still clear but most of the muscle underneath is also gone, the little remaining still in small patches dotted across her body. Her face is also completely eroded away, all that remains is the skull, eyes, and the inner workings of her ears. The slime that makes up Elise’s body is now tinted green. The timestamp reads ‘5 Months.’]

“This is my entry at 5 months during transition. Holy Hell it has been a rough one. As you can see…”

[Elise slowly stands and orients the camera to face multiple parts of the bedroom, most of which has been compartmentalised and/or boxed up. She finally turns the camera to face her once more in the usual shot.]

“I am ready to get out. In fact, I’m actually headed out tomorrow morning to go live with my partner out west. Out in the wilderness, surrounded by nature. First things first, though. I gotta unpack these last months for y’all.”

[Elise starts to roll up her sleeves before seemingly forgetting that she is wearing a t-shirt, which she begins to fidget with.]

“Transition stuff first. Also sorry if I’m a bit spaced out, I’ve been a bit…well I guess I’ll just call myself out on it, I’ve been a bit airheaded recently. Doctors say it’s a side effect of the drugs, which of course it is. All in the name of science or something.

“I don’t want it to come across like I’m not happy; I’m fucking ecstatic and euphoric all the time. Life’s just been a lot lately.

“In terms of the muscular decomposition it actually kinda freaking hurts. Like when it started I just felt sore but over the course of a week somewhere around 14 weeks in I got barely any sleep. Turns out, acid dissolving you hurts pretty bad, actually. It got better when a majority of the muscle was gone but every now and again the body decides to get rid of more and unfortunately I can’t use any ibuprofen or painkillers because they inhibit some yeast growth and I just so happen to be made of the stuff nowadays.

“Also, on that note, no more caffeine, ever, apparently. Yeasts actually really don’t react well to caffeine so I’m really really glad I don’t drink coffee. No more Dr. Pepper hurts the soul, though. F in the chat for no more dr pepper.

“Also, hair. As in, no more hair, anywhere. I think they try to skirt around the fact that you will drop your hair as soon as the scalp becomes goop when they tell the trans girls about their transition. I think I would have screamed if I had the house to myself when I took that shower and my whole head felt very light. Luckily your body becomes very malleable when you take these drugs and after like four days of trying I figured out how to style my goop-hair. I’m usually covered from top to bottom in clothes to stay hidden, though, so I barely ever get the chance. And of course, since the hair is gone, my nails went around the same time. Been having to wear touchscreen gloves just to use my phone, and rubber gloves under those so I don’t seep through.

“Other changes… well, showering is pretty euphoric, honestly. Putting more water in the body kinda expands it in a way. Makes all the mass a bit sloshy but still workable if I don’t overdo it. Makes me all euphoric to have big ol tiddies whenever I want.

“I’m still able to eat normally, but I’ve started to actually digest with my slime. Lately my goal has been to taste without my tongue – which is also gone, mind you, just got lucky that I kept my tastebuds at least a little bit.”

[Elise stares off into the distance once again, seemingly lost in thought. After a moment she recollects herself and sits a bit taller.]

“Most of you have guessed by now that I’d get fired because of my transition, and yeah, that was last week. I warned my boss way in advance that I may slowly lose some physical function during transition but either she didn’t care to research my procedures or hated my guts anyway, either way I got canned for being unable to lift and perform my duties. It’s not so bad, lets me decompress and get ready to move.

“Yeah, I know, the move. Funny, you think I should have mentioned that first, or maybe a few months ago. Thing is, I had no idea I’d be moving out this early either. My transition is happening at an advanced rate for some reason and the doctors won’t be able to say before 6 months anyway so we’re all a bit in the dark about it.

“So last night I was invited to dinner with my parents. Not like an actual ‘going out to a restaurant’ dinner, no this was more like ‘Elise gets to cook and make her parents a nice meal and be forced to sit and talk about uncomfortable shit with them for at least an hour’ dinner. Lucky for them, I’m a bit of a pushover and I actually do like to cook so I made something nice.

“So, an hour and one stir fried chicken dish later, I’m sitting in the living room with my parents watching TV and absolutely trying to not shrink in on myself. That’s been an experience, let me tell you. I can just kinda ball up now if I want. Which I did not want to do considering I was still stealth from my mom.

“Of course, she has to ask how work is going and of course I had to unmask for just one insignificant second and reply that I was let go. There was a bit of a screaming match, and a ride to the hospital for my mother who legitimately had a heart attack from seeing her daughter’s skull and eyes suspended in a slightly green goop. Food colouring, by the way. Way cheaper than hair dye.

“Mom’s alright, she’s an addict so that’s what the doctors are focussed on now. Which unfortunately means that they have to deal with a whole bunch of bills and other lovely little things. Dad took me aside and made it abundantly clear that I was no longer welcome in their home. Hence, the boxes and suitcase that all hold the entirety of what I own.

“In better news, I’m gonna get an apartment with my love and we’ll be all okay by the end of the week. At some point I’m gonna also have to head into Hyper City again, check in with my doctors who all seem to have no idea why my transition is going so fucking fast all of a sudden. I mean, I was on schedule up until like that 7 weeks update and then everything went into like, I dunno, super puberty, and just shot way ahead.

“So, yeah…transition’s going great, just have to bear with all the other stuff that comes with it. I transitioned once, I can do it again. Stay strong, we’ll make it through together.”

[The scene fades to black as Elise reaches for the camera.]

}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{

We are so back. With the Biggest. Update. Ever.

Well, not Elise. She's actually going through it af

More slime time! This post's inspiration (imma keep doing this btw, I like giving shout outs to my humble base of 40 followers) comes from both @draconic-lesbian for constant and continuous love and species affirmation, and @reliablegal who somehow derived her own slime biology and affirmed most of what I found to be true :D

catch y'all later when Elise moves into a new place and totally nothing crazy happens~

[good-chimes]

Cub takes over the Permit Office

A short textual recap of the Succession-style coup Cub just carried out (Timestamp: Grian s10 e21 14:40-29:30)

Grian, Scar and Skizz all receive a mysterious summons to a disciplinary hearing to discuss ‘restructuring’ at the Permit Office.

Scar and Skizz turn up thinking they’re in trouble with Grian. Grian, who has received two warnings for completely unfair reasons like ‘not doing his job’, knows he’s in trouble with Mysterious HQ Person (Grian, terrified but curious: Is it Doc??).

Waiting nervously, all three of them agree that their collective efforts are a shambles, a mild blame game ensues, also a horse is here and they can’t kill it because Judge Bdubs would object.

A flying figure approaches.

To Grian and Skizz’s surprise and Scar’s delight, it’s Cub.

Cub times his slow-falling potions to sink slowly and dramatically to the ground in a completely horizontal position. (Cub: Hello, boys) (Scar: Hello, God!)

Cub has a red tie and a gold name tag and performs an immediate show of dominance by taming the horse and handing out golden apples.

Scar: yeah that horse was—

Cub: it’s my horse now

Grian, eating the apple: He’s trying to butter us up. Skizz, don’t eat the apples.

Cub: Grian, I have some excellent news for you, my friend. You’re fired.

Grian: I’m what—

Cub: And also rehired! To a lesser position.

Grian: So I’m, what, assistant permit manager?

Cub: assistant TO the permit manager.

Cub: that’s me.

Cub: I’m sorry you had to find out this way

Grian: [into his hands] I’m so relieved I hate this job so much

Grian: IT’S NOT FUN AND I CAN’T CONTROL IT. LOOK AT THE SHOPPING DISTRICT. THERE’S POP UP SHOPS EVERYWHERE.

Grian: even I’ve got a pop up shop!!

Cub: Grian and I share a similar sentiment, which is that the permits shouldn’t exist

Cub: which is why we both have these jobs

Scar: But… but it was you two who came up with the idea of permits in the first place!

Cub: yeah

Cub: but you were supposed to enforce it

At this point it should be noted Cub has variously a) claimed he's been sent by the higher ups and he didn't want to do this but, boys, he has to, b) claimed he is one of the higher ups, c) claimed he's 'quite high up but not so much' d) vehemently denied that there exists anyone who has a fancier name tag than he does

Cub forces them into an immediate tour of the shopping district

There really are pop up shops everywhere

Cub: Alright, here's some TNT.

Grian: er! wait! I dunno—!

Cub: What.

Grian: Maybe we should give people some warning?

Cub: Hm

Scar: We did! We have a thing! I built a redstone countdown clock! [waves at the contraption of stacked red-yellow-white pillars he spent several weeks on]

Grian: Scar, that HASN'T MOVED SINCE YOU BUILT IT

Scar: It does move! It's just going slowly!

Cub: We need to move faster.

Scar: I can adjust it. This is 2024 advanced redstone. I can change it. [flies off]

Skizz: Can he really—

Grian, resigned: He's just going to mine it. [Scar mines it]

Skizz: Can I take a shot at him?

Cub: Fire away, Skizz

Grian: I'm not sure about this new management!

Meanwhile Cub has been contemplating the nearest popups in a critical way.

Cub: I'm going to be honest, I'm part of this glass collective, and even I want to see this one blown up.

Grian: Look, boss, what if we put a big billboard up that says 'Pop up purge'... certain date.

Cub: Hm.

Cub: That's very reasonable. I was just going to blow stuff up, but if you want to do that, I think it's a good choice.

Grian: How much time are you giving them, boss?

Skizz: Well, that's what the timer was—

Scar: I HAVE A TIMER! IT'S COUNTING DOWN!

Cub: We want to do this lickety-split. Let's go two weeks.

Grian: [repeating to himself under his breath] Two weeks!

Scar: I'll program the redstone!

Cub: You program it in, Scar. Grian, you make the billboard. Skizz…

Skizz: Yeah?

Cub: …you keep on keeping on, baby.

Cub: You've been the background of this whole operation, Skizz.

Skizz now dramatically attempts to get them to a high point so they can look at the layout of the shopping district, a simple task stymied only by the fact Scar and Grian both refuse to take any instructions unless they come from Cub

Cub then orders that pop up shops will be confiscated to Scar and Skizz's enforcement office. Grian very curious about the punishment for permit violations. Scar suggests banishing violators to the far reaches by Doc's 'shooty-offy cannon'. Cub approves this exile penalty enthusiastically.

Cub: Alright.

Grian: There's a storm comin'.

Scar: [looks up at the blue sky] Really?

Skizz: Us. He means us.

Grian: It's more like a moderate breeze.

Skizz: Well, that's official, we're under new management! And the tone I’m getting is that Rub-a-Dub-Cub is not messin’ around.

Cub: You guys gotta get to it.

[Actual in-game storm starts]

Grian: There is a storm coming.

Scar: A storm of pain!

Grian: [to Cub] I'm so relieved. I couldn’t keep control of any of this.

Cub: It's alright, Grian. [PEAL OF IN-GAME THUNDER] We'll keep people in line.

Grian: It feels like the permit office has taken a really dark turn

Cub: Nah, it'll be fine. People will care about their permits! [MORE THUNDER] People will comply :)

[liquid-bonhomme]

Lily's Harley Quinn Show video is Garbage (and here's why)

We all know Lily's media hottakes are BAD. But, I feel like critics have mostly focused on her hottakes on media she hates. I've personally become more interested in what media she actually LIKES . . . Because her rational is often times even more nuts.

Well, this video made me mad enough that I'm gunna write a post about it now. Prepare your assholes for the death rattle of this DC fanboy losing his shit:

To be clear, I like this show, for some of the same reasons Lily does even. . . But that's not going to stop me from taking the piss.

(I encourage you all to watch the video in full beforehand so you can get the context of the quotes I'm pulling. Timestamps will be included though.

I just told people to watch your stupid video Lily-- can't cry copyright here.)

-0:19: TWENTY SECONDS IN, STEVEN UNIVERSE IS REFERENCED. GG LILLIAN.

-0:36: BITCHING ABOUT HOW VICTIMIZED SHE IS. 30 SECONDS IN.

-0:55: "I dare say it's the best thing to come out of the Batman franchise in a long time."

It seems like the last thing Lily watched/played/read in "the Batman franchise" was The Dark Knight. You dare boldly, Lily. Ironically I feel like she would at least like the Lego Batman movie, if not all the other good shit that's come out since 2011. Also, this is one of the first of many times she calls the entire fucking DC Universe "The Batman Franchise."

-1:00: "If you're watching this show for at all you're watching it for the romantic arc between Harley and Ivy. Don't lie."

I know this is a joke. I'm not an idiot, but. If you're familiar with Lily's general media consumption, you'll be well aware she watches shit a lot of the time for the ships and the ships ALONE. I feel like this really highlights how she views media in general in a way that's rather revealing. This video is two years old, and I wouldn't be surprised if Lily's opinion has soured a bit given the direction the show goes after this video was released. Put a pin in this comment. 📌

-1:15: "I mean it's a post-joker Harley Quinn show what else are they going to do.

Put a pin in that comment.📌

-2:00: Lily goes on to summarize the plot of the show . . . Completely ignoring all the plot beats that have nothing to do with the romance.

Put a pin in that one too.📌

-3:30: Lily indicates she identifies with Ivy.

Another pin.📌

-4:10: Lily starts talking about how near the end of the second season, Harley has now confessed her feelings to Ivy, but Ivy turns her down because she's going to get married to Kite Man (enjoy the insanity of that sentence if you haven't seen the show.)

Though I don't think she's nessesarily making any real poor points here yet, I want to point out that she really flattens the complexity of the emotions going on here. The problem is that Ivy and Harley's relationship has reached a level of intimacy where they really can't just go back to being friends. Ivy is happily in a relationship with Kite Man at this point, he's been a much more stable and reliable partner to Ivy. Though it's implied her feelings for Harley go a lot deeper. During Joker's confrontation of Harley, Lily frames it as a "go get 'er" pep talk like it's a fucking 80s rom com. He's trying more to get Harley to emotionally resolve things with her-- regardless of outcome. Ivy did say no once already. The audience expects she isn't going to say no a second time since that wouldn't be a narratively satisfying conclusion, but in the real world equivalent, she could have. The Joker wasn't telling Harley to harass Ivy until she gives in.

-5:16: Not really a mark against Lily's video persay, but in a season that aired after Lily made this video the prospect of Harley and Ivy breaking up is explored. Lily must have been seething, lol.

-5:28: "I love a good fluffy romance. I'm so fucking done with people's obsession with the nasty stuff [Flashes Catra and Adora on screen.]"

Honestly this comment has me wondering if Lily decided to check her phone or just skip through scenes where Harley and Ivy weren't being lovey-dovey. I don't know what fucking show she apparently watched (foreshadowing is a narrative tool wh--.)

-5:48: "Poison Ivy has always had the same problem a lot of female characters in DC comics have had in despite being an actual doctor they always just put her in a skin tight leotard [ . . . ] About the only notable exception to that was in The Batman [the 2005 show] where she was a teenager [classical Lily goonery inserted here.]"

Ignoring the goon comment, in isolation I don't have a grievance with this comment persay. As a generalization, it's more or less true about Ivy. She's unfortunately one of the lesser well-used characters in the various DC canons as a whole. However, Lily is going to start implying she's more familiar with DC in general, especially the comics, than she really is. I have strong reason to doubt Lily would know Ivy canonically has a doctorate in botanical sciences if this show didn't call so much attention to it. You'll see why in a moment.

Also the 2005 Batman show is far from the only iteration to reimagine Ivy as a teen. I like that show's take on Ivy too, but that's not a fucking unique spin on the character.

-6:57: "Clayface was always a random D-list monster like Carnage, but here he's reimagined as a struggling actor."

In a show that had the balls to feature Queen of Fables, she's calling Clayface a fucking "d-lister." Nevermind Carnage. But no Lily, Clayface has been a struggling actor since his first appearance in Detective Comics No.40. It's literally the first thing in his bio on his fucking wiki page.

-7:09: "There's one episode where [Clayface] assumes the identity of Stephanie to get into Riddler's college [ . . . ] Seriously I'm convinced he's been moonlighting as Stephanie a lot. The other girls on campus call her 'Steph.' She's been there for a while. This is Clayface's secret identity and you can't convince me otherwise."

LILY THAT'S NOT SUBTEXT THAT'S THE FUCKING JOKE. IT'S TEXT. IT'S CANON. YES. CLAYFACE HAS BEEN FUCKING AROUND ON RIDDLER'S CAMPUS THIS WHOLE TIME. CONFIRMED IN THE SHOW. LILY. LILLLYYYYYY.

Worth pointing out too, she'd totally call Clayface's Stephanie character transphobic if she hated the show.

-9:00: "The writers though 'okay, what do we use to fill our quota of the sad misguided villian this arc-- oh I know fucking BATMAN!'"

Lily what the fuck are you doing when you sit down to watch a show for your channel? Are you playing Candycrush the whole time? Are you screaming at Mikaila that often you miss like . . . Almost everything!? What are you doin' sweaty!?

Lilian, Bruce is not the primary antagonist of the 3rd season . . . IVY IS. Or really, Harley and Ivy's emotional dysfunction is the antagonist of basically this whole series, and it's Ivy's turn to be the main driver of conflict. The person destroying Gotham is Ivy. Not Batman, IVY.

Bruce and Selina's relationship is supposed to be a conceptual foil to Harley and Ivy's. Bruce is having an emotional breakdown the entire series has more or less been building up to.

-9:15: [In reference to Batman getting sent to prison] "I want him to get some nice and comfortable therapy."

. . . Lily is that what you think happens in prison?

-9:35: Lily is talking about the Joker's step-dad arc, and this is as good a time as any to stop for a sec to talk about how Lily doesn't seem to get what The Harley Show is doing with the characters.

The thing that makes the show an exceptionally brilliant take on the DC universe is that virtually all the characters (with some exceptions, that were tweaked for the better mostly) are actually faithful to their comic book/generally established characterization. To an impressive degree, down to even just minor details. You can tell the people who made this show are genuine fans of DC comics. Their personalities and character arcs are exaggerated for comedic effect, with specific interesting angles teased out to draw focus to them. Some elements of their personality are recontextualized to create a more engaging dynamic, but regardless. Even most of the plot elements are at least loose adaptations of storylines from the comic, or other DC media. It's really impressive how the show both works as a functional take on the DC universe by itself, and as a parody of it. Lily demonstrates she's totally oblivious to this multiple times in the video, but her section on the Joker best exemplifies this.

The Joker has taken over and/or become mayor of Gotham multiple times in the comics. Lily thinks for some god forsaken reason in the 70 something years Batman comics have been printed, nobody's thought of that. THEY HAVE. The gag with the second time Joker takes over Gotham IN THIS FUCKING SHOW ALONE is . . . He's actually a really good mayor. Gotham is a perpetual capitalist nightmare shithole of a city. The most insane, radical anarchist thing for The Joker to do is . . . Be a socialist who actually gives a shit about the small folk. That's the joke, Lily. That's the joke. That's the mother fucking JOKE. THE FUNNY HAHA, THERE IT IS LILY. I FUCKING EXPLAINED IT TO YOU.

And Lilian. The Joker being at his most normal and stable while he has a family. Is. A. Direct. Parody. Of. One. Of. The. Most. FAMOUS. BATMAN STORIES. EVER. WRITTEN.

SHE IS LITERALLY FUCKING SHOWING THE EPISODE WHERE THEY DIRECTLY VISUALLY REFERENCE THE KILLING JOKE ON SCREEN. LILY YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME A FUCKING HERNIA.

-10:10: Lily calls Sam Raimi a "douchebag."

Fuck right off.

-10:25: "It's a return to wacky hijinks that uses to define The Joker back when he was a gangster in funny makeup."

NO IT ISN'T LILY.

-11:00: Lily bitches about Harley Quinn for the 7 minutes in the remaining runtime.

Okay, the play-by-play is over, I'm going to address this section all at once because it will be quicker and more comprehensive if I do. This is the point where all the aformentioned pins come in.

Though I'm going to have to be ignoring some bullshit Lily says here in order to stay focused, I will mention first, Lily doesn't seem to realize Batfleck and Nolan's Batman were MASSIVE departures from the comics and don't pull much from the storylines. I don't think that's nessesarily a bad thing, even though I'm not the biggest fan of either of those interpretations, but for the record-- no. Those adaptations have almost nothing to do with Year one, The Dark Night Returns, The Killing Joke, or The Long Halloween outside of superficial elements. Lily just googled "famous Batman comics" and picked the four she probably vaguely heard of before. Again, she didn't even recognize the in-your-face impossible to miss Killing Joke parody episode she used as footage for this video. SHE'S JUST PRETENDING SHE'S READ COMICS SHE HASN'T.

Now to the point:

Lily's rational for not liking Harley's portrayal in the Harley Quinn show is honest to god brain damage. I'm not even sure how hard I need to go into explaining this because . . . It's pointing at the text itself and calling it a flaw. Harley's entire journey as a person is TRYING TO DISCOVER WHO SHE IS outside of the toxic codependency she had with the Joker. Her arc is both a meta commentary on the nature of the character conceptually and her journey to redefine herself. THIS ISN'T FUCKING SUBTLE. THIS IS STATED IN THE SHOW. Harley's identity crisis over whether or not she's even a villan anymore STARTS IN SEASON 3. Harley's lack of inhibition is what DRIVES THE PLOT IN SEASON 2. Harley's struggles to emancipat herself IS THE PLOT OF THE FIRST FUCKING EPISODE. This is also honestly the ONLY DC property I can think of that actually bothers to do something with the fact that Harley is a psychologist. Almost on that basis alone, it's one of the most refreshing takes on the character. That actually means something when I say it, because I've actually read a fucking comic in my life. LILY WHAT FUCKING DIMENSION DO YOU SLIP INTO ANY TIME YOU SIT DOWN TO WATCH A SHOW.

That question is rhetorical-- Lily tells on herself several times throughout this video. Remember those pins? Go read em again. Lily identifies with Ivy, so Lily decided Ivy is the "real" main character-- and wants Harley to be Ivy's loving kissy huggy gf. She genuinely thinks the show is actively making a mistake anytime her smut ship fanfic is interrupted. Lily wants porn. LILY YEARNS FOR THE PORN, ALWAYS. Every single fucking time.

She's decided Ivy has done nothing wrong to create tension in the relationship. She has deemed the character flaws Harley has that creates tension in the relationship a mistake in the writing.

Because Lily has not actually read a comic, but probably has seen Batman: The Animated Series-- she's missed all of the other references and spoofs in the show except for the ones involving Harley. That was the show she was originally created in.

Case-fucking-closed. Water is wet, the sky is blue, and Lily Orchard is talking out of her ass.

Kill my parents and call me the world's greatest detective, I guess.