#compelling enough in a fucked up and tragic way

[aphel1on]

every day i have to wake up and live with the unfortunate reality that the friend who got me into mdzs is a jgy hater

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Exploring all of the main Yellowjackets ships (and what makes each of them so compelling)

In honor of everyone fighting about which ship is the best in this fandom, I wanted to do a rundown of each of the main Yellowjackets ships and why they are all so interesting and believable in their own ways. I am only going over the most popular ships in the fandom (romantic pairings with more than 100 written works on ao3), so sorry if some of your favorite rarepairs are missing! And if you’re looking for a post all about how these relationships are so cute and healthy, this isn’t it (except for maybe Taivan). I’m mostly going to talk about how toxic, tragic, and tumultuous they all are, because that’s what we’re actually here for.

Jackieshauna

Jackieshauna is all about possession (in the best, most homoerotically intense way). Their dynamic is fraught with contradictory feelings that somehow exist alongside each other. Shauna idolizes Jackie’s magnetic influence, but she is also deeply resentful of her. Shauna adores Jackie, but she’s also suffocated by her. She feels like can’t live without Jackie, but she also can’t stand living in her shadow anymore. Jackie cares deeply for Shauna, but she also needs to own her; she needs to be validated by her position of power over Shauna.

The queer subtext in their relationship is so strong that it almost doesn’t feel like subtext at all. From the longing stares and the constant, almost hypnotic closeness to the way they interact with each other, the line between platonic love and romantic obsession blurs to the point of becoming indistinguishable. Their entire dynamic reads like a suppressed, unspoken desire, with both women using Jeff (and Travis eventually) as a way of redirecting their intense feelings towards each other. Shauna’s betrayal with Jeff doesn’t just feel like a “best friend stole my boyfriend” situation—it feels like she wanted to be Jackie, to consume her, to get as close to her as possible. And Jackie’s reaction isn’t just about the betrayal; it’s about the fact that Shauna was hers, and suddenly, she’s not. Jackie is so devastated by the knowledge of Shauna sleeping with Jeff that she no longer believes in love and loses her will to live entirely.

Shauna’s grief over Jackie isn’t just guilt; it’s, once again, possession. She talks to Jackie’s frozen corpse, hallucinates their conversations, braids her hair, does her makeup, eats her ear. It’s as if, in death, Jackie becomes more hers than she ever was in life. I just can’t get enough of the line, “I don’t know where you end and I begin.” Shauna eating Jackie is the ultimate culmination of this. It’s an act of worship—taking Jackie into herself, keeping her close in the most visceral way possible. But it’s also an act of domination—Shauna, who spent so long being beneath Jackie, is now consuming her, overpowering her in a way she never could while Jackie was alive.

There are so many layers to Jackieshauna; it’s love, admiration, obsession, ownership, codependency, resentment, and jealousy all wrapped up into one severely intense relationship. Their story is so tragic because it’s full of unspoken things—words that were never said, feelings that were never acknowledged, and a love that was never fully realized until it was too late.

One word to describe them: Possession

Their best scene: Their last fight

"Did I force you to live in my shadow, Shauna? It must be hard being this jealous all the time. You're so fucking jealous of me you can barely breathe."

“Are you quoting Beaches at me right now?”

“No…”

"I'm not jealous of you, Jackie. I feel sorry for you. Because you're weak. And I think that deep down, you know it. I’m sure everyone at home is so fucking sad to be losing their perfect little princess, but they’ll never know how tragic and boring and insecure you really are, or how high school was the best your life was ever gonna get.”

Taivan

Taivan is a peak golden retriever/black cat ship. Van is the golden retriever: loyal, endlessly optimistic (even in the face of getting nearly fatally attacked by wolves), and always trying to bring humor and lightness to situations, even when things are at their worst. She’s playful, affectionate, and follows Taissa around with unwavering devotion, even when Taissa is pushing her away or making choices that Van doesn’t agree with. This loyalty extends to Taissa’s sleepwalking, as Van’s support of her never falters even when faced with a darker, more dangerous side of Tai.

Taissa, on the other hand, is the ultimate black cat: fiercely independent, emotionally guarded, and always trying to maintain control, even when she’s clearly struggling. She’s skeptical, calculated, and reluctant to accept things that don’t fit her worldview. This initially translates into her relationship with Van, as she doesn’t want to be vulnerable, but you can tell she feels such a deep love for Van that keeps drawing her back in; unable to hide this softer side of herself. Van softens Taissa in the best way, cracking open that hard shell and allowing Taissa’s vulnerability and warmth to reveal itself. The most telling moment of this is Taissa’s willingness to enter Lottie’s spiritual circle to support Van. For someone as practical, skeptical, and grounded as Taissa, this is a significant sacrifice of her usual hard-edged pragmatism. But her desire to be there for Van, to show up in a way that is vulnerable and supportive, speaks volumes about the way Van has brought out a warmth in her that no one else ever could. Taissa’s love for Van is not just a passive emotion—it’s an active, deliberate decision to let go of control. The fact that she does this for Van is a testament to just how deeply she cares. And the Doomcoming “I want to see you” scene? That girl loves Van with her entire being.

In the adult timeline, Tai and Van cope with what happened in the wilderness in opposite ways. Taissa obsessively looks to the future and refuses to look back, while Van remains stuck in the past, refusing to move on. When they reunite in Season 2, they’re able to meet somewhere in the middle; a collision of the past and present.

It is clear that these two will do anything for each other, whether it’s fighting off a pack of wolves, tying themselves to each other at night, or going on life-threatening expeditions just to support each other. They are devoted to each other in any form. I can't wait to see them fuck on a table in the adult timeline in S3.

One word to describe them: Devotion

Their best scene: I ❤️ you (in blood)

“This is how you’re choosing to say ‘I love you’ for the first time?”

“You’re kind of leaving me hanging here, lady…”

“I love you, too.”

Lottienat

Lottie and Nat are classic narrative foils. They contrast so sharply with one another, yet in those very contrasts lie hidden similarities that shape their dynamic. Natalie was raised in a trailer park while Lottie was raised in a mansion, but they both grew up lonely and neglected by the people who are supposed to love them. Both of them feel alone and unloved, but where Natalie learns to toughen up and rely solely on herself, Lottie begins to seek connection in something bigger than herself—spirituality and the Wilderness. Natalie is the pragmatist/skeptic while Lottie is the spiritual prophet, but they both want what's best for the group. Lottie and Nat are arguably the two most compassionate, empathetic survivors, but they wield this empathy in different ways (i.e. Lottie offering Travis hope that his brother is alive, Natalie offering support through the grieving process as she guides him towards accepting his brother is dead). Together, they are two halves of a whole, each offering something the other cannot.

Lottie is both Nat's salvation and her undoing. Lottie offers Natalie the hope, purpose, and sense of belonging that she so desperately craves in her lowest moments, but in doing so, she inadvertently sets in motion a chain of events that ultimately leads to Natalie’s emotional and physical destruction. When Natalie is more alone and outcasted than she has ever been in the wilderness after the card draw, Lottie grants her the title of the group’s new leader. With this new title, Nat finally receives the love and appreciation she has always needed, but she also receives the burden of being in charge of (and therefore responsible for the actions of) a group rapidly descending into darkness, only intensifying the guilt and trauma she lives with for the rest of her life. When Natalie is on the verge of suicide, Lottie rescues her and takes her to her wellness community, which leads to Nat discovering self-forgiveness but also places her on the path towards her untimely death.

Their dynamic is defined by Lottie reaching out, trying to hold Natalie, to nurture and protect her, while Natalie fights and resists. The hypnosis/sharing shack scene is so important. It's Nat finally surrendering to Lottie (and all that Lottie represents). It's Nat allowing herself to be held (thinking of the way she lays her head in Lottie's lap, and the way she and Lottie are embracing each other as they dance around the fire), to be vulnerable and receive the love and care she never thought she deserved. It's so tragic that Lottie begins to spiral again just as Nat is beginning to trust her.

There are so many great Lottienat moments: the hint of pre-crash banter in "You don't talk shit unless someone really deserves it", Natalie comforting Lottie in the middle of the night when they sleep in the cabin for the first time, "Did you read that on a fucking fortune cookie?", Lottie always offering Nat her blood, Lottie's "I just want you to be safe", the iconic bathtub truce scene, the coronation scene with Lottie kissing Nat's hand and Nat looking up at her with awe and tears in her eyes, Lottie keeping tabs on Nat over the years to make sure she's okay, kidnapping her before she could kill herself, Natalie regressing to her teen self in the sharing shack as she rests her head on Lottie's lap, Natalie's "I think it's time for you to stop resisting", and Lottie and Nat dancing together around the fire.

One word to describe them: Tension

Their best scene: The bathtub scene

"Good game, you fucking loser."

"You talking shit? You little bitch, you ended up with nil, the same as me. But fine, good game."

Lottielee

So much of Lottie’s life leading up to the plane crash was about shame and self-confinement. Her father made her afraid of her own mind, and she spent much of her youth suppressing herself through medications and a socially acceptable mask. Laura Lee is the first person to accept Lottie as she truly is. She’s the first person to offer Lottie an alternative to her father’s control. Where Lottie has only known repression and self-doubt, Laura Lee provides a safe space where Lottie is believed. Not only does Laura Lee offer Lottie validation—she offers her a sanctuary for expression. She’s not afraid of Lottie’s abilities or her spirituality; she sees it as a part of who Lottie is, something to be embraced rather than suppressed. Lottie’s relationship with Laura Lee is foundational to her entire character; her psyche, her self-identity, her motivations going forward, and her path in life. Laura Lee helps Lottie develop an assertiveness and confidence she had not been able to access before, which in turn allows her to ascend to the extremely influential figure she ends up becoming.

I think so much can be said about the importance of touch in their relationship. Holding each other’s hands to guide each other, embracing each other, placing a hand on the other’s chest and holding it there. Laura Lee provides a gentleness/tenderness in her touch that Lottie has been craving her whole life. The act of placing a hand on the chest is particularly significant. When Laura Lee touches Lottie in this way, it is a moment of emotional anchoring. The chest is where the heart is, where one’s truest self can be felt and expressed. To have someone touch you there with reverence is a profound act of acceptance and recognition. And this is something that stays with Lottie, becoming an integral part of her spiritual practices. When Lottie offers this kind of touch to others, she’s not just comforting them; she’s offering the same acceptance and safety that she first received from Laura Lee. It’s a form of healing, of passing on the love and belief that Laura Lee gave her, a way for Lottie to channel her strength into others and to demonstrate the kind of acceptance she once craved.

Lottielee is about nurturance and sustenance. I love the absolute awe on their faces when they look at each other. In a way, they have faith in and worship each other.

Laura Lee’s death is extremely impactful and devastating to Lottie, so much so that she still sees Laura Lee’s ghost even 25 years later. Echoes of Laura Lee exist in everything Lottie does.

One word to describe them: Acceptance

Their best scene: The lake baptism

"I saw fire— a light."

"That's the holy spirit, you've been touched."

Mistynat

This ship has got to be the most hilarious out of any on the show. On paper, it makes absolutely no sense. Natalie is dark, brooding, cynical, and emotionally guarded to the point of being downright cold in the adult timeline. She has carefully curated an emotional armor; an air of detachment and apathy that she uses to maintain distance from anyone that could possibly become close to her. In contrast, Misty is a perpetual ray of sunshine—a walking bundle of overzealous energy and bubbly optimism wrapped in frilly, vintage-inspired cat sweaters. She's needy, socially unaware, and often acts out of a desperate desire for affection and validation. Their personalities, seemingly at odds, create a rich, almost absurd juxtaposition that makes their interactions fascinating to watch.

At the heart of their relationship is a shared sense of longing. Both Natalie and Misty crave connection and appreciation, but they have no idea how to foster it in healthy, meaningful ways. Both of them have been deeply isolated throughout their lives, though for different reasons. Natalie’s isolation stems from her trauma. She doesn't feel worthy of love and she's afraid of hurting people, so she keeps everyone at arm’s length, often sabotaging any potential for intimacy. Misty, on the other hand, is isolated by her intense neediness and socially awkward tendencies. She becomes overbearing and obsessive, constantly seeking affection in ways that alienate others. This creates such an interesting dynamic when the two are together, as Misty is obsessively pouring all of her loyalty and energy into Nat, while Nat is constantly pushing her away and struggling to maintain a safe distance between them.

While Mistynat is definitely stronger on Misty's end than Nat's, I think you can see the soft spot Nat has for Misty. Nat is begrudgingly charmed by her. Christina Ricci has said that she thinks Natalie was the only one to show any kindness towards Misty growing up, and I couldn't agree more. There are moments when Natalie shows a surprising level of affection and understanding toward Misty, even if it's fleeting or passive. Nat protects Misty from Shauna after Shauna punches her ("It's not her fault! Misty did everything she could!"), she appears genuinely happy to see Misty at the reunion, and the line "We're all like this, aren't we?" is Nat realizing how alike she and Misty are; how they share the same trauma.

It is so heartbreaking that Misty, who saw herself as Nat's greatest protector and most loyal follower, was ultimately the one to kill her. And it will also be so heartbreaking to see Misty's obsession with Nat extend to her wearing Nat's clothing and taking on her persona in Season 3 as a way of remaining close to her. Here's to seeing more of them in the teen timeline this season!

One word to describe them: Unpredictable

Their best scene: Misty snorting Nat’s coke

"Misty! Get off my coke! Oh my god you're possessed!"

Lottieshauna

Lottie is the only one to truly understand and embrace Shauna (even the darkest, most suppressed parts of herself). While she has other close relationships on the show, they all accept only a portion of Shauna (the portion they’re comfortable with, the portion that doesn’t feel dangerous, the portion that Shauna displays to others because she knows it won’t scare them away). Jeff, Jackie, and even Taissa can’t fully comprehend the depth of Shauna’s rage, the thrill she gets from danger, her desperate need to be seen, or the fact that she wants an outlet for the violent impulses she keeps buried. But with Lottie, Shauna can be her full, unfiltered self.

Lottie doesn’t just accept Shauna’s darkness—she encourages it. She doesn’t flinch from the things that would make others recoil. When Shauna is discovered to be talking to Jackie’s corpse in the meat shed, Lottie is the only one to extend empathy and understanding to Shauna. She covers up the piece cut out of Jackie’s arm and gives Shauna Jackie’s necklace because she knows that it’s what Shauna needs. After the death of Shauna’s baby, Lottie risks her life to allow Shauna to take her rage (and her intense grief) out on her. In the adult timeline, Lottie’s goat trust exercise (not sure what else to call it lol) is what makes Shauna realize how she has been keeping the people she loves at arm’s length; and it is what lays the groundwork for true healing. Lottie always understands what Shauna needs.

Shauna initially resists Lottie’s influence, but as the story progresses, you can see her slowly being drawn in to her web. I think there’s something thrilling for Shauna to be seen and accepted for her true self (instead of all of the masks she puts on to be what others want her to be). Their connection is one of shared experience, unspoken understanding, and the potential for something both destructive and healing.

One word to describe them: Cathartic

Their best scene: The beatdown

"Shauna, I know there's a lot of pain right now, but let it out. Shauna, we need you, let it out."

Travnat

There’s only room for one heterosexual ship on this list, and that is undoubtedly going to be Natalie and Travis. Travnat is tragic, toxic, and narratively doomed in all of the best ways. Travis and Natalie are two people who cannot help but destroy themselves and each other. Nat and Travis are birds of a feather, which means they have a deep understanding of each other (an understanding they have never received from anyone else), but it also means they have a mutual capacity for self-destruction.

When Travis lashes out after his father’s death, Natalie sees herself. She recognizes that rage, that despair. It’s something that no one else in the group can fully understand or sympathize with, because they haven’t been through the same kind of loss and alienation. But Natalie does understand, and she is the only one who offers him any kind of empathy or care initially. Even when Travis resists, when he pushes her away, she remains steadfast, because, deep down, she knows exactly what it feels like to be abandoned in your pain, to have no one who understands the depth of your grief. It’s this shared history of suffering that makes their connection so strong, yet so toxic. It’s not just about comfort—it’s about two people who have never been allowed to heal properly, and who are only capable of hurting each other as a result. They have the same coping methods: numbing and distraction (whether that be through drugs, sex, or reckless behavior), which causes them to spiral and relapse into their old habits whenever they reconnect.

Natalie describes Travis as "my best friend, the only person I ever loved, the only person who ever really knew me." There is no denying that these two have a deep love for each other. In their light, playful moments in Season 1, you can see what might have been if they had connected before the plane crash. But now they have gone through so much of the same trauma that there is no way for them to be around each other without reminding each other of their shared pain. Nat is a constant reminder to Travis of the loss of his little brother, and Travis is a constant reminder to Nat of the intense guilt of what she did to survive out there. Despite this, they attempt to take care of each other over the course of 25 years. There’s a tragic dance between them: they push each other away, only to pull each other back in, over and over again. The more they try to heal each other, the more they wound one another, and this constant tug-of-war between love and destruction is what makes their relationship so compelling.

One word to describe them: Trauma-bond

Their best scene: Post-Doomcoming hug

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to. I fucking love you, Natalie."

Jackienat

On an outward, surface level, Natalie and Jackie are polar opposites. Jackie is the classic queen bee—privileged, popular, and used to being admired. Natalie, on the other hand, is the rebellious outcast, rough around the edges and unwilling to conform. The ‘queen bee’ and the ‘burnout’. The ‘prude’ and the ‘slut’. Jackie cares too much, Natalie doesn’t care enough. But, in actuality, these are the cliche labels that have been placed on them/assigned to them by external sources. These are the false fronts they put on to hide the vulnerability underneath. Nat and Jackie are actually much more similar than either of them would probably care to admit.

At the core of their conflicts is jealousy. Jackie envies Natalie's ability to be carefree and unapologetically herself (you can hear genuine admiration in her compliment to Nat, “I love that you don’t care what anyone else thinks. You are so completely yourself). Jackie, for all her outward confidence, is constantly performing the version of herself that others expect, and she longs for the kind of authenticity that Natalie seems to embody. On the other hand, Natalie is jealous of the life Jackie represents—privilege, stability, being adored without having to fight for it. But they’re both deeply insecure in ways that mirror each other. Jackie isn’t as effortlessly perfect as everyone believes, and Natalie isn’t as indifferent as she pretends to be. They are both trapped by expectations, and neither of them truly feels like they belong.

If circumstances had been different, I think they would have actually been very close. Their humor is actually similar—sharp, a little sarcastic, but often disarming. They’re both sarcastic, raspy-voiced little shits and I would have loved to see them play off of each other a little more. My personal headcanon for these two is that they actually used to be very close friends when they were little but grew apart in middle school/high school due to societal expectations. Maybe Jackie used to be more carefree before she learned she had to be perfect, and maybe Natalie used to be softer before she learned no one would protect her. There was no huge falling out, they were just gradually pulled apart over time, placed into their respective roles, and now there’s a part of both of them that quietly misses the other but also feels like the version of themselves that once connected with each other is gone. They just don’t understand each other anymore.

And Nat being the one to lay Jackie’s bones to rest? Rejecting Travis’ offer to come with her so that she could have a moment alone with Jackie to pay her respects, release her jealousy, and apologize? Nat being the one to take Jackie’s position of leadership in the group (the queen bee) after she’s gone? Tragic.

They are the perfect enemies to lovers trope (or, in my opinion, friends to enemies to lovers) that unfortunately will never come to fruition.

One word to describe them: Jealousy

Their best scene: Nat apologizes to Jackie's bones

"You're lucky, you know? I think shit is going to get a lot worse out here. But you're already dead so, way to make everyone jealous of you one last time. I'm sorry, for what we did. Who knows, maybe you could be the reason we survive the winter, so thanks. Rest in peace, Jackie."

—

And if you’re interested, the most-written romantic pairings on ao3 at the time of making this post are as follows: Shauna Shipman/Jackie Taylor (1,564 works), Lottie Matthews/Natalie Scatorccio (1,202 works), Van Palmer/Taissa Turner (1,019 works), Laura Lee/Lottie Matthews (396 works), Misty Quigley/Natalie Scatorccio (258 works), Natalie Scatorccio/Jackie Taylor (185 works), Lottie Matthews/Shauna Shipman (182 works), and Travis Martinez/Natalie Scatorccio (120 works).

[bhaalest]

god this is so overdue. im finally making a bg3 side blog

for a first post i wanted to list some of the artists i've been (mostly) refraining from reblogging to main for many months at this point. i meant to only do my favorite few but then i couldn't decide who my favorite few were so... here you go

@meanbossart draws absolutely beautiful art of his absolutely beautiful du drow, and also has an amazingly well-written and well-characterized story about what he, astarion, and shadowheart get up to post-game

@kawareo goes deep how his durge strike suffers from both the urge and orin's attack, and into strike before orin's attack. i love the standalone art and comics, so when i say his writing is my favorite thing he's done that's high praise

@velnna's tav staeve is another very pretty man and i don't know how to describe what i like most about his art other than "very pleasantly textured", it catches the eye in a very pleasing way

@lucklessrat has incredible dramatic and comedic timing in their comics of lethean, and i love what they do with leth being old. you don’t see that often

i have a soft spot for half-orcs and paladins so naturally i think about @everchased's finch constantly. they have several of my favorite bg3 comics ever but the SMITE one is... just gonna say i agree with astarion there

there is so much to say about @jeeaark's tav greygold, from the jokes to the relentless optimism to the visceral (in a very good way) art style, but my new favorite thing is the dark urge (godsdammit) companion series, it's really fun to see DUG and greygold interact and i can't wait for more. also, another half-orc!

@ejoym's durge devlin is wonderfully deranged, i love the dark humor in the comics, the art is really crisp, and the artist makes really great use of colors. i love how pointy everyone is also

@ohpsshaw's durge typhus is going through it at the moment. love his expressive face (and the expressiveness of the whole art style) and puppydog vibe, i can't wait to see how much he... enjoys... the rest of the game as daddy's chosen. also check out the artist's entertaining commentary on her main(?) blog

@taygra5shaon's big scary durge jacq somehow can do adorable and terrifying equally well, sometimes at the same time. this is another artist who has great timing in her comics. i especially like the young jacq ones.

@angiemaniac's tavella and durge companion au presents durge from a different and very interesting perspective. and she does a great job including every companion into the story, while tavella is still a compelling character on her own!

cae is the most beautiful durge you've ever seen and @hellothisisangle's art does such a good job of making him feel dangerous. it's incredibly beautifully rendered, the poses and fashion are always amazing, and on top of it all cae's lore is fascinating too

@wellen-katze's comics are really in a league of their own. their comics vary but my favorites are the ones that hurt to read. my favorite series is this one with ascended astarion and a nameless durge dealing with the tragic aftermath of the story. their comics hurt in an incredible way that i can't get enough of.

ghost, aka niro, by @oathbreakerapologist is wonderfully fucked up. he has a really upsetting presence (/positive) and i can't look away from his relationship with orin. this is probably the least sfw blog i'm linking, which i hope comes off as a complement

with @mistercrowbar's aldiirn it's hard to pinpoint specific things i like because the art and comics are so well-rounded, but if pressed i would point to aldiirn's visual design and the skill with which the artist makes his desire for approval and will to break the rules mesh together. i'm not sure if i want to be his friend or study him like a bug

i love @crocodiller's pining dumbass (affectionate) rowan so much. there's a lot to like about the comics but my favorite is rowan's supportive friendship with karlach. they're also very well-paced and some of the crispest art i've ever seen

i found @ryvenarts and sullen literally yesterday but i'm already very interested and excited to see if there will be more

another recent (to me) discovery, thirkuir by @jayfitzmaurice. i really like his design and the expressiveness of all the characters

@quess-art has an adorable baby durge who still has a compelling backstory i'm excited to see more of. plus the wagging tail is just perfect

@3eefstud's durge Einar is really nice to look at, with amazing colors and gradients. i'm surprised i didn't find them until very recently

i thought @panksage's Ebony Darkness D'urge was just a joke at first but no, the comics are sincere (and also funny) and just beautiful, especially the colors!

i do not know if @arianiziolek's durge has a name. catty little murder lizard (affectionate). has some of the funniest comics but more importantly the best durge facial expressions

@bajablast666 is double dipping with durges kaethan and kelrath. both their art and writing have an intensity that i love (the red outlines they use often are so good) and their writing in particular conveys emotion and visceral feeling so well

karl by @beltart is another on the surprisingly long list of people i initially found from their art, then read their writing and was blown away. i don't think i've seen anyone else depict the weight of the urge as intensely as this and i love it

and finally, a palate cleanser from all the durges, @wirywyrm's tav arthur who's in a sitcom as opposed to a horror story. i really like the texture and detail of their art and also how much of a dork arthur is. least smooth bard(adin) in the realms

incredibly i did leave out a few people, mostly people who draw companions rather than their tav/durge because i sort of locked myself into this format, so i may come back and update this later!

[tubbytarchia]

I’ve recently rewatched dl and I wanted to find out if you had any thoughts on Pearl and Scott’s dynamic.. (double life or general idm)

BOY DO I. SIT DOWN

I've talked lots about Scott before, of how he twists the narrative the most and treats most relationships more as transactional. I will now immediately follow that sentence up with dear god please don't assume I hate Scott he's so interesting and compelling PLEASE don't think I hate him I beg of you I LIKE HIM I don't think he's evil and a villain he's just a bit fucked up like everyone else PLEASE just. believe me

Me ^

Anyway now that that's out of the way. Scott I think has an innate need for connection but denies it in favor of weaving his own narrative that he is in control of, especially so in Third Life where to me, it feels like he sought out to find a tragic love story and he got exactly that, from his perspective anyway, what with the final sequence of him meeting Jimmy again in some imagined afterlife, the one part that was scripted and it shows. Love is a variable that he can't afford the risk of. I think the story with Jimmy that he weaved was more important to him than genuine affection. In Double Life he admits to having whittled Jimmy down to nothing in order to get something from him. But then along comes Last Life

In Last Life, whatever it was, something about Pearl really appealed to him if even subconsciously and he very genuinely cared about her imo. And that was a relationship that oddly enough started as purely transactional yet quickly developed into the most meaningful one I think Scott has had. Even when he faltered in returning Pearl's affection fully, Pearl didn't care and stood by him. Well exemplified by the time he kind of froze when Pearl was boogey killed by Lizzie, but Pearl didn't even think to hold his inaction against him. (Especially fun contrasted with Pearl accidentally breaking the rules in killing boogey Joel for killing Scott lol). ADDENDUM: I forgot that it was because of Scott's encouragement that Pearl ended up killing Joel, which could have been the first indication of Scott having it out for Joel, or he was just being petty (because he very much is, as are many of the others, he's just good at masking it). Nonetheless my point stands when contrasted with Scott freezing up when Pearl was killed by Lizzie whereas Pearl had defended Scott adamantly

But all of that was the variable that Scott sought to avoid, so in Double Life he immediately uses what he can as an excuse to ostracize Pearl, almost as if to punish her for the crime of. loving? And I'm not about to claim that Pearl is wholly innocent but I'd argue that was unwarranted. Cleo and Scott are a great dynamic in a vacuum but unfortunately Cleo is also quite terrible (but then who isn't. It's a death game, they all are. Sorry I have to keep making these remarks because otherwise I get labelled a hater) and unfortunately fuels all the worst traits in Scott while Scott very readily sticks to her. They remain an encouraging pillar to Scott, it's just that the things being encouraged are like. Their ritual to slice each other with axes at full force just to stick it to Martyn and Pearl. Pearl often gets compared to Scott as equally physically harmful but idk personally I don't think the snow bucket compares to start-of-every-session-near-death-axe-crit routine. That's again not to say that she's innocent

Upon Scott spreading completely unfounded claims about her being crazy and malicious, she starts to adopt those claims. What else is she to do to get by? She has been nice to most players and nearly none of them want her around because of rumors despite her causing harm on accident at worst. She comes close to finally finding friends in Jimmy (Tango as well but mostly Jimmy), but ruins her chances by briefly playing into Martyn's "prank" and giving him Jimmy's horn without realizing it's importance to Jimmy, after which Jimmy tells her that she's no longer welcome on the ranch. She's effectively lost everyone and it is 90% due to Scott, not due to her actually acting the way she's claimed to as she only starts to go down that path after repeated rejection (sure she let herself be physically hurt to get at Scott, but it wasn't because of malice or having lost her mind, her doing so was reasonable anyhow but got twisted into something it wasn't. It's still wrong on her part and I do think she goes at least a bit insane as Scarlet Pearl surfaces, but the point is that she wasn't that when Scott started painting her that way)

Even in the very end, Scott retains control. He retained control of not only his narrative but contributed to most others' as well, painting Pearl as the exact character he wanted her to be known as in every POV outside of her own. And as they stand face to face as the last two survivors, Scott denies her any chance to change things, taking his own life instead whilst painting himself as noble in doing so

Scott is incredibly self-sacrificial but only when he gets something out of it, and because it allows him yet more control. He wants to be able to control when he dies, and he also gets to turn it into utmost grandiose statements of nobleness when he does, which then changes others' perception of him accordingly and directly or indirectly allows Scott to get something in exchange. His suicide in DL is no different, it was for him, not for Pearl

In Secret Life Scott also instils the idea of Pearl being untrustworthy in Gem

Wild Life. grrrr. Wild Life.............clenches fist. Pearl's personal hell

I think you can infer I was. scared to say the least about Pearl upon seeing her alliance in Wild Life. In the end though I ended up just being immensely sad and disappointed. Just about nothing worked out for Pearl, only for her trauma to be mocked repeatedly by Scott and Cleo

Pearl imo shows so many signs of regression, and she holds onto Impulse as the one member of her team that isn't actively taunting her, making it a goal for herself to see Impulse win, and it is that: for her, for anything to go her way, not so much for Impulse as much as she does genuinely care for him. She really doesn't spend that much time with him, she just needs a goal to work towards for her own sake. Pearl being unstable, untrustworthy and especially pathetic are all things that continue to get enforced within the alliance, where she's often spoken to like a ticking time bomb and the team's destructiveness gets relegated to her specifically. She recognizes not feeling good about it but she doesn't recognize everything that's at play in the social dynamics of their alliance or the extent of it

She becomes scared of people becoming resentful of her were she to make mistakes all the while Scott and Cleo start enabling her worst tendencies, aka Scarlet Pearl. They don't do this a large degree but they do make an explicit point of it, or at least Cleo does. Cleo is also however, if even vaguely, trying to mend the relationship between her and Pearl, where they occasionally encourage and defend her although it's not to a significant enough degree for Pearl to really realize. After Gem's death, Cleo is also there to help although Pearl is too distraught to appreciate it

While Gem's largely the catalyst for the "pathetic" notion that Pearl adopts to her detriment over the course of Wild Life, it only affects Pearl as strongly as it does due to her having gone through what she has, and because she's in a largely unloving alliance that fuels and reminds her of her wrongdoing. Just compare her mental state here to the one in Secret Life with the Mounders. Although it does have importance to her because she seeks reconciliation, she isn't allowed to forget about Double Life, she's not allowed to heal and grow around the grief of what's happened to her

And the final two notable incidents in her and Scott's relationship are 1. Her being made to feel like she needs to kill Scott, which she doesn't and ends up picking her own method of killing him to retain any semblance of choice, and 2. best summarized by my friend's Pearl POV analysis: "Scott is wearing my clothes. instead of villainizing me, our “reconciliation” has encouraged him to embrace the qualities he thinks I represent. he matches me, and we don’t talk about our past"

I state again that I like Scott, I like Cleo, I don't think they're evil or villains, at the very least in no cut-and-dry way. They're flawed and compelling and although I feel sad for Pearl and see Scott as largely at fault for what's happened to her, I care about Scott too and he's easily in the top 5 of most intricate Life characters to me that I enjoy dissecting

You know like. enjoying any character in any other fandom that is morally reprehensible in any way. I don't know why that's such a wild concept in traffic but sigh. I have to disclaim this unfortunately

[lucky1013]

On my Affliction, and On the Twitter Freakout over Rue

Ok, here's my problem.

I am inexplicably invested in Wilbur Soot’s well-being. I don't want to know him. I don't need to meet him or be 'noticed.' I just need him to be healthy, happy, and loved - for reasons I don't fully understand. I am stuck on him as a hurting, complex, kind-of-fucked-up person who just needs to be granted the space (and grace) to grow and heal.

Last Spring, although I didn't know much about him yet, I was deeply affected by the public's absolute rejection of Wilbur in response to Shelby and Alice's assertions. I watched and read for myself and found neither count compelling enough to declare this man a horrible person. I never thought they were liars. I never thought Wilbur was blameless. But I thought both counts mischaracterized dating and relationship failures and included them as evidence of abuse and SA. Labels and therapy language were weaponized in a way that made young fans reject him completely. No regard was given to his statement, which (apparently unlike everyone else) I found compelling. The devastation of his reputation and career felt so unfair and tragic.

I became driven to try to help. To persuade. To do anything I can to right the wrongs. It led me into the depths of Twitter, where I became fascinated by the behavior of internet people - judgmental, vengeful, inflexible, fickle, vicious. Pathologizing everything. Everyone is a victim. Everything has a name. It's all gaslighting or love-bombing or grooming or victim-blaming. Label after label are applied, which cast aggrieved parties as victims, absolve them of any responsibility for bad outcomes, place the entirety of the blame on the alleged offenders.

I don't hate kids. But I am sad and pretty scared for their future.

And here we are again with this year's February Surprise. Sigh.

(Quick take: As usual, I find Rue's story to be interesting, sure, but I don't see how she is a victim. The attitude that situations befall young women without any regard for their role in creating them bugs the shit out of me. I am a woman and was once a young woman. I have made dozens of mistakes and gotten myself into various unsavory entanglements. She chose, of her own volition, to spend night after night cuddling in Wilbur's bed, intimate activity that would have blurred the crap out of whatever lines they had no-doubt drawn in the sand, and then considers herself violated because he touched her and kissed her. Spare me. Frankly I find it shocking that they weren't screwing each other's brains out, which I might add, would be legal. I take no issue with the viewpoint that the age gap is icky, but not at all unheard of, and she's not your sheltered A-student whose never been to a party. She's an internet personality who deems herself old enough to join a band on tour and have weeklong sleepovers with a man. Eighteen year olds are not babies. They can be manipulated and can also manipulate. Is Wilbur to blame? I don't know...for WHAT? For trying to hook up with a girl he spent several nights cuddling with? He was by all evidence a pretty messed up guy, at least at that time, who sought emotional and physical comfort in a younger person. Was it fucked? Maybe. Was it traumatic for her? Again - spare me. Every unhealthy thing doesn't cause trauma. It's not grooming, it's not trauma, it's not SA. They BOTH created the situation. He should know better than to tangle with an 18yo, obviously, if for no other reason than to avoid this rash of bullshit, but that fact alone doesn’t bear on whether she’s a victim of something.)

I'm not sure I can take it. I don't have the stamina to keep yelling into the abyss. I stay on Twitter - despite hatred for Elon Musk and for the cesspool it has become - because I feel an obligation to fight back. Someone needs to be the voice of opposition, right? No. Time to accept that the digital lynch mob is determined to crush Wilbur Soot regardless. It’s all futile, it's all pointless.

Were we really doing anything at all to impact this? Did any of it help? Tell me it didn't, that it never will, so I can dump it all and get some rest. (Seriously. Tell me.)

Will, man, I hope you are healing and overcoming your demons. I hope that light is still burning inside of you. I hope you find your confidence, your joy, your humor, your swagger. Anyone who has watched your body of work can see that you are a good and caring person, faults and all. I hope the world will emerge from this fever soon.

Friends, see you at Summerfest. My favorite band is playing there on July 3.

[mistywitcher]

finished wind and truth about 2 hours ago and I have just finished crying enough to compose some thoughts.

my heart is broken for Dalinar, and watching everyone grieve for him. I kinda felt like it was coming, but I refused to believe it, and when it did happen, I don't think I've sobbed like that over a book since Mistborn era 1.

I take back what I said about Adolin being angry in a different post. I still agree he got to be angry and that was valid, but never seeing Dalinar again and his last interaction with him being so awful absolutely killed me and oh fuck I'm crying while writing this. I'D ONLY JUST MANAGED TO CALM MYSELF.

Kaladin. KALADIN. that hurt too, In a bittersweet way. I fucking bawled at the idea of everyone thinking he's dead, and Szeth burying him. ruined, I won't recover from this for a long time.

I am beyond pleased he got such a wonderful ending and set up for the next arc, cannot wait to see everyone's faces when he fucking shows up as a HERALD!!!

Adolin fucking princeling wonderful human best guy Kholin was probably my favourite part of this book. His stunning relationship to Maya. His whole arc was incredible, his courage, his acceptance and realisation, FORMING THE UNOATHED. What a fucking baller move, so proud of my pretty boy, I didn't think it was possible to love him more but I do.

Shallan was brilliant as well, although she didn't feel like as bigger part as I expected for this ending, I feel like she was set up brilliantly for Arc 2 and I cannot WAIT to see how she escapes Shademar.

Also I could be so so so wrong, but I feel like, maybe, just maybe, she may, perhaps, could be... pregnant???? idk why I get this feeling but I do. only time will tell.

Renarin and Rlain absolutely shone in this book. I loved every second of it. Was so glad to see how much time they both got! As a neurodivergent, gay person, it was a fucking honour to see myself represented so much and so well in Renarin's chapters. beautiful, stunning, can't wait to see what happens next with my fave gay boys.

Poor Jasnah, those last chapters of hers were so rough. I felt so sad for her, and also so taken with how Sanderson wrote her failure, in such a compelling, tragic way. I can't wait to see what she does next.

Szeth, oh my sweet man Szeth. I wasn't that bothered about Szeth before this book but now I would die for him. I LOVED his chapters and flashbacks, I loved his journey, I simply loved him.

GAVINOR!!!! that twist at the end, with him being a grown man now, I look forward to seeing more of him, and honestly I found his child character to be massively entertaining and so so lovely.

there is so much more I could say, but I am so tired, I read for 7 hours straight with no breaks and then cried for 2 hours, and my head hurts.

so in conclusion, I am slightly broken right now, intimidated by the huge wait we all have, grieving for Dalinar, but ultimately, incredibly satisfied with that ending to Arc 1.

Life before Death

Strength before Weakness

JOURNEY BEFORE DESTINATION

[comicaurora]

top three changes to the star wars franchise?

Like, top three things I would change if I was in charge of the franchise top to bottom?

This is Big Cheating calling it "one change", but scrap the prequels. The original trilogy already implied an incredibly simple by-the-numbers dark fantasy origin story for Obi-Wan and Anakin and if we strip away the space veneer we can easily see that Anakin's original backstory was implied to be "prodigy warrior-wizard is tempted by dark magic (and an established evil sorcerer-emperor who has clearly been in power for more than a scant 18 years by the time of the original trilogy) which slowly corrupts and twists him into a monster who eventually has a fight with obi-wan that he loses, also he has a relationship with a woman who survives to raise Leia for at least a few years". Those are the only points you need to hit, and you could tell a very compelling simple-meal-well-made sword and sorcery adventure with a guaranteed tragic ending. The original prequels fail at holding to the ONLY points of canon they needed to hit - the innately corruptive power of the dark side SLOWLY leading to Anakin's downfall, the empire being an existing threat for a long time and the jedi correspondingly being an ANCIENT religion rather than being less ancient than 9/11, and Padme being alive enough for Leia to remember her a little bit. Close your eyes, clear your mind, let the tropes flow through you - a By-The-Numbers Story will come to you and you will see the completely inoffensive prequel tragedy we could've had. Also, never show Yoda, preserve the fun twist in the original movies.

Easy change for this one. Finn's a force-user with a plot about inspiring a stormtrooper rebellion, another plot that literally writes itself, also let the sequel trio actually all hang out for more than five fuckin minutes because the only thing that ever made Star Wars work was the raw charisma of the actors having a good time and the chemistry was really solid for the only time in the final movie they were allowed to share screentime.

And while we're gutting the sequels, how about letting the hero's victories actually fucking matter. Luke gets to actually reinvigorate the jedi way and doesn't have all his victories ripped away in the name of sequel bait, and can serve as an extremely powerful but very busy Jedi Ex Machina who turns up in the darkest hour to save the day, Mandalorian-s1-finale style. The Empire doesn't just get magically replaced with Empire 2, Now With Less Charisma, let the threat be something actually new or a natural consequence of a newly liberated galaxy in sudden turmoil - feudal tyrants ruling over planetary fiefdoms squabbling to fill the Emperor's power-vacuum, more sith lords coming out of the woodwork now that their greatest rival is gone. Leia and the other rebel leaders struggling to reinstate some semblance of democracy in a scarred and shattered galaxy too accustomed to the crushing totalitarianism of the empire. How goddamn unoriginal to start a sequel by undoing every happy ending from the original series for retreaded drama, as if the universe could only ever hold three problems in it.

[radicalafterdark]

1. “Fixing RWBY Vol 6 Finale was PEAK”

This opening is already setting up for failure. “Peak”? Really? That overused Twitter buzzword doesn’t mean anything anymore when it’s tossed around for fan rewrites with zero critical evaluation. The post makes a huge claim—superior to canon—and then fails to back it up with anything deeper than surface-level praise and personal bias.

2. The Adam Worship is Embarrassingly One-Note

“Adam is/was my favorite character…”

We get it—you’re emotionally invested. But you confuse personal attachment with narrative merit. You cry about his death in canon being rushed and underwhelming, but your preferred version isn't any better. All you've done is trade one underdeveloped arc for another that's "edgy and loud" rather than "quiet and hollow." You don’t want depth—you want badass vibes. That’s not character development. That’s a fanservice hallucination.

“Adam felt threatening, unhinged and more like a force of nature…”

No, he felt like a melodramatic anime boss battle reject who listened to too much Linkin Park. Being “unhinged” and “angry” doesn’t make a villain compelling. You’re mistaking volume for substance, and fury for complexity. This rewrite didn’t fix Adam—it just cranked him up and said, “That’s enough.”

3. “Fuck you Schnee” is NOT a Mic Drop

This is one of the most laughable parts of the post. You actually present “Fuck you Schnee” as a superior, impactful line to “Oh.” Why? Because it’s louder? Angrier? Filled with teenage angst? The original line “Oh” was quiet, anticlimactic, and tragic—intentionally. It portrayed Adam as a hollow, spent man, which is the point. Giving him a Tarantino-style F-bomb just makes him sound like a bitter Reddit edgelord, not a complex antagonist.

4. Misunderstanding of Tragedy and Resolution

“Sometimes, despite being the hero…they have to put the unsavable ones down.”

You’re trying to justify murder with faux-deep vigilante logic, but it falls flat. Adam’s death in Fixing RWBY isn’t noble or symbolic—it’s just a messy, hyper-dramatized boss fight capped with a Tumblr-tier monologue. No exploration of what made him that way. No confrontation of their shared past. Just blood, screaming, and some weak “moral greyness” handwaving. You’re not witnessing tragedy—you’re cheering for a violent catharsis fantasy.

5. “No one celebrates, no one cheers…”

That’s not profound. That’s basic tone management. You don’t get a cookie for avoiding the original’s forehead touch moment when all you’ve done is overcorrect by swinging to pure doom-and-gloom nihilism. You replaced melodrama with melodrama wearing eyeliner and think it’s maturity.

6. Yang’s PTSD Moment

“Her PTSD still effecting her but she fights through it…”

Spoken like someone who doesn’t understand trauma at all. "Fighting through it" isn’t a cure, and using trauma as a grit-powered buff in a boss fight is tone-deaf at best and exploitative at worst. The canon handled her PTSD with uneven pacing, sure—but the rewrite just uses it as an emotional prop. There’s no subtlety here. Just “hurt girl hits harder now.”

7. Image Spam = Substance Substitution

The inclusion of reaction images and stills says a lot: you need visual crutches to sell your point. That’s not persuasive writing—that’s a PowerPoint presentation with emojis. The images don’t prove anything—they’re there to trigger a vibe, because your words aren’t carrying their own weight.

8. Closing Line: “I am not even joking.”

You say this like it’s a surprise. You’ve just written a glorified YouTube comment section post disguised as a review. Of course you’re not joking. But maybe you should be—because the hyperbole, the emotional overreach, and the zero nuance make this read like satire. And not the clever kind.

Final Judgment:

This post is a masterclass in emotional projection masquerading as critical praise. It's built on the idea that volume equals impact, edge equals depth, and redesigns equal redemption. But ultimately, it fails to interrogate the material it worships. It’s fanboy drivel disguised as thoughtful commentary.

Final Score: 1.5/10. Half a point for passion, one point for coherence, zero for actual insight

[cherryberg]

ok heres a real quastion why do you find your current blorbos so compelling. can u tell me abt their themes. would u get along with them in real lifes

my bones crunching teeth. my gripping hand on your shoulder, drawing blood.

ned flanders .. where to fucking start .. in the shortest way possible, that is

well, quickly. me? getting along with ned flanders? In Real Life? hell no! simply by virtue of me being the person i am. perhaps the band Dr. Colossus put it one way when they said “Stupid Sexy Flanders / Republican at best / Politically to the right / Dexterity to the left” (haloes .. my Dr. Colossus mention) but who’s to say how accurate that is now. i too am lefthanded you know. and we all saw him kiss fat tony. and he missed him too

anyway, simple put. i think ned flanders is like. a deep character - thanks in part to his religiousness. now you can throw your hands up about like his, well, flanderisation - from the homer simpson perfect neighbour foil to unbearably devout christian - but it does effect multiple aspects of his life in really interesting ways

so you’re telling me this man hates his beatnik parents? (Hurricane Neddy) what, did he cling to religion as a way to other himself from them? carelessly raised by them without discipline? repressing his anger for years? and how does that reflect upon his own kids, brought up in a strict christian household. his own kids he’ll be overprotective of because he can’t afford to lose them like he lost their mother (Bart Has Two Mommies), but who are still harshly scorned and punished when their faith in christ waivers? (Todd, Todd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?)

and what if when he doubts? when god takes both of his wives? (Alone Again, Natura-Diddly, O C’mon All Ye Faithful) his wives who he loved and will continue to grieve for? (I’m Goin’ to Praiseland, Diary Queen) and what of his second wife, huh? fourth grade teacher krabappel? how he learns to lower his religious guards for her? (Ned ‘n Edna’s Blend Agenda) how happy they were, however brief, with these compromises they made for each other? (The Man Who Grew Too Much) and krabappel’s relationship with rod and todd, did she have an effect on them? is it her influence whenever they speak out? (Bull-E) then again, we all know how impressionable those two are on a whim .. (Bart the Lover) and, goodness fucking gracious, so on and so forth. and they replaced his wives with a dog

sighs .. i can admit he can get Dead Wife Guy with it sometimes but i do think flanders is like .. a bit of a tragic man? i dunno, that “And I did something I hadn’t done in, I don’t know how long. God help me, I smiled.” in The Many Saints of Springfield lives sorrowfully in my brain. dude, after losing so much - his wives, his business he went bankrupt for (When Flanders Failed), his teaching job (Left Behind). like .. man. i dunno

i think it’s a little hard to watch a flanders-centric episode without wondering what it means for ned and his family on a deeper level, even for an episode as innocuous as Fland Canyon (what do you mean todd has night terrors that maude held him through? and that it’s todd’s nightmare of forgetting maude’s face that made him stop believing in christ?)

and, hey. if you’re really crazy enough, you could squint and make out some sort of aquatic sea creature motif with the Jellyfish Festival and song in A Star Is Born Again and his profound emotional processing in faith down in the hadal zone in O C’mon All Ye Faithful

regardless, all this to say. yeah .. i may be a bit of a nedhead :]

.

& btw .. he pulls, like, constantly. did you know this? like, constantly

[burningvelvet]

more rambling thoughts about wuthering heights now that i've finished my re-read

1 wuthering heights is basically the looney tunes if the looney tunes were goth. 90% of the novel is people arguing, dying, and running around threatening to kill each other, and often all three of those at once.

2 love how it's filled with dark humor. "he's such a cobweb, a pinch would annihilate him" is such a camp thing to say about the terminally ill child you abhor and who you spend weeks trying to set up on dates with your dead lover's child so you can steal her property when your son finally dies. heathcliff lecturing his son on Seduction 101 right in front of cathy 2.0, trying ridiculously to play cupid and compel them to fall in love with each other before giving up and just kidnapping her instead... surely he's the most insane brontë man?

3 i can't remember what i had for dinner last night but nelly dean can remember what the weather was like on any given friday twenty years ago (love her and her snarky comments)

4 love how after nelly finishes telling the story to lockwood she's like "any way. so you know cathy 2.0 is single right ;)))" and then cathy 2.0 shows zero interest in him. so then he's like "oh i just remembered i have somewhere to be :/" then fucks off to london for nearly a year then when he comes back nelly is like "nvm as it turns out cathy and hareton are actually soulmates lol who knew! gee, it's a good thing she didn't like you!" and he's just silently suffering. emily was just fucking around here. hindley was the only linton/earnshaw/heathcliff who was wild enough to marry someone who didn't share either his gene pool or his neighborhood.

5 i imagine joseph to look like smeagol from the lotr films but taller

6 [heathcliff, after stabbing his alcoholic arch nemesis and then pushing his servant into the puddle of the blood] "Wash that stuff away; and mind the sparks of your candle—it is more than half brandy!” LMAO

7 this opinion list is just turning out to be a list of the most insane heathcliff moments but truly the novel should've just been called "heathcliff"

8 heathcliff's weird paternal feelings for hareton, saving hareton's life, him saying he would truly love him if only he wasn't hindley's child, basically giving hareton his blessing to love cathy 2.0 toward the end... so oddly endearing

9 heathcliff walking out just before the "i am heathcliff" part of her speech. why WHY

10 hindley protecting isabella from heathcliff before she flees was nice and i wish we saw more of their dynamic around the heights. honestly aside from the child neglect (which is par for the course in wuthering heights) hindley is a pretty sympathetic character; his rivalry with heathcliff was fueled by both sides and truly the fault of their father for pitting them against each other by letting heathcliff usurp hindley's place of favoritism as a boy. hindley's gambling and drinking, his general dissipation and failure to secure his son's future, are all tragic.

11 i think hindley/edgar/heathcliff are all interesting foils for each other; they each lose the women they love and are left to be single fathers, and each responds to the task totally differently. if we include mr. earnshaw, all the fathers in the story essentially fail their children after all the mothers die. hindley and heathcliff have a special parallel through their lifelong brotherly competition, the women they love both dying in childbirth, and in their own deaths. hindley slowly kills himself while ignoring everyone around him; heathcliff also kills himself, but only after trying to systematically ruin the lives of everyone around him. they also say that they want to kill each other but fail when they try; heathcliff nearly kills hindley but ends up saving his life at the last minute.

12 heathcliff jr. is so terrified of heathcliff sr. and so traumatized and petrified by fear and he doesn't deserve the hate he gets for being annoying. he's been sheltered his whole life, his mother just died, he was sent to his uncle/cousin only to be immediately torn away from them to be abused by a stranger who treats him horribly, he's terminally ill, he's still a kid, he's threatened into marrying someone he barely knows, etc.

13 if any of you have seen the british comedy show "the young ones" that's literally hindley's household in wuthering heights when joseph/hareton/hindley/heathcliff/isabella all live together. the filth, the slop for dinner, the petty games, the violence, the fierce hatred yet weird loyalty to each other, etc.

14 i really wonder how cathy would have reacted to heathcliff's treatment of everyone else if only she had known the full details (ie his harsh abuse of isabella, his son, cathy 2.0, etc.)

15 heights was my first brontë novel but i think i like jane eyre and tenant better now that i've read them all back to back! next on the list is likely agnes gray. anne, my underrated queen!

[aiden-rahmfai]

There is no Criminal Minds without Reid, Garcia, and Morgan. Like, the other members are extremely important, and I love them. JJ has my whole heart, Elle was peak, and she got even better in her final episodes, absolutely love Prentiss, Hotch is great, his departure definitely impacted the show heavily, anyone who's seen my last few posts knows I'm a proud Gideon stan, Rossi is hilarious, I love all of them.

But Reid, Garcia, and Morgan are truly, in my eyes, the heart of the show. They are such emotionally compelling characters, with such fun energy, and unique roles on the team.

Reid is a genius, but he was also the youngest and most naive of the team at the start of the series, as well as the most empathetic. He's an amazing asset with his eidetic memory, and his extensive knowledge on the symbolism, and literature that resonates with unsubs enough for them to incorporate them into their murders. His passionate info-dumping is so enjoyable to watch, and the best thing about him is that he may be socially awkward, and introverted, and very autistic coded, he still has such a deep understanding towards unsubs with tragic backgrounds. He grew up taking care of his paranoid schizophrenic mom. His dad walked out on them, he was bullied in his adolescence, these cases feel personal for him, and while he doesn't try to save them from appropriate consequence, he sees humanity in them, and reaches out to offer help when he can, even towards the man who tortured him. Tobias beat him, drugged him to the point of killing him before he resuscitated him, forced him to pick one out of a batch of people to die, else they would all die, then was forced to dig his own grave. Even then, he still wanted to help Tobias. He didn't just see a murderer, he saw the kid who was physically and emotionally abused by his religious fanatic father, who turned to drugs to cope with the trauma, and is haunted by his dad after his death. Reid is not just "quirky", he's such a complex character, played so uniquely by Matthew Gray Gubler, i don't think anyone can fill his role, and bring the same vulnerability to an otherwise dorky and eccentric goober.

Garcia is MY FUCKING QUEEN BRO. She's such an amazing take on the "guy in the chair" character. She's colorful, she's silly, she wears her heart on her sleeve, and she's such a great contrast to the work that she does. She has to see absolutely horrific shit everyday, and while the others see it firsthand, she has to sit in this dark, isolated room, dig around the darkest depths of the Internet, watch footage of horrible things being done to people, and she still holds this team together in a way no one else does. Her wit, her sense of humor, and God, I love me a woman who plays nerdy ass mmo RPGs and thirsts over poorly animated 3D knights (The Fisher King arc). In The Fisher King, she's partially the reason for them getting hacked, and her burning regret through the episode is so heartbreaking, cause she so clearly felt like an idiot for playing that game through their room. Yes, it was stupid (even though in my eyes personally, Garcia can never do anything wrong ever) , but to see her so messed up about it through the rest of the arc, skipping the banter with Morgan, freaking out about Elle getting shot, and the praise from Gideon visually taking weight off her shoulders, AEUGHH. WHEN GARCIA IS SAD, I'M SAD TOO. If Criminal Minds isn't the same without Reid, then a Criminal Minds without Garcia is fucking decimated. She's the emotional core of this team. While other characters who fill her role can be snarky, and eccentric, none of them can ever live up to Garcia. She's so openly loving and affectionate, she brings so much optimism despite how horrible it is to work in this field, she's never afraid to show how she really feels, and I love everything about her.

now TRIGGER WARNING, MASSIVE ONE FOR CSA

Morgan leaving Criminal Minds genuinely fucking sucks. I know why he left, he was going to be a leading character in S.W.A.T, but past that episode, I refuse to watch, unless it's an episode where he shows up again. He's probably the most charismatic character on this show, and insanely attractive at that. Not just attractive in the "oh he's so fine" kinda way, but in his mannerisms, how he treats his team, how openly protective he is of the people he loves, and most of all, how he grew from his past. His childhood was absolutely horrible. He grew up in Chicago, living in poverty, and acted out after the death of his father. The only way he was able to get out was through the neighborhood youth center, where he was groomed and sexually abused by its sponsor, who continued his behavior with other young boys after Morgan left to pursue his career. The episode in which we see the neighborhood he grew up in, and meet the struggling kids who are the prime targets for a murderer who's been around since Morgan's childhood, and his confrontation with both a kid who saw him as a borderline legend, and the youth center sponsor who abused the both of them, is soul crushing. The thing I want to elaborate on though is his confrontation with the kid. He's a teenager, and he sees this sponsor as the only way to get out of this neighborhood, and actually have a future, after all, he's the one who cleared Morgan's record so he could join the FBI. Before Morgan confronts the perpetrator, knowing fully that he was their murderer, he goes out of his way to find this kid first, and give him the hope that he needs, and an understanding that no one else showed him. Morgan is such a strong character, and seeing him in tears by the end, standing face to face with this disgusting person who hurt him so badly as a child, and denying him any credit he claimed for how successful he is now was like seeing your older brother cry for the first time. He's someone so reliable, and playful, and so damn charming, but there's a lot more beneath the surface. I love the way he plays off of other characters too, like his dynamic with Garcia being so flirtatious while also purely platonic hilarious. They match each other's freak so hard. He treats Reid like a younger brother, and refers to him as such in his last episode. It's stated by Hotch that there are very few people in the world he trusts, and you can tell that his team are part of those people, he means so much to me, chat.

Again, this isn't to say that the other characters aren't important, but these three have the most unique storylines and roles on this team, that taking them out of the story takes out the majority of its best aspects. Genuinely I will not watch the show when I get to Morgan's last episode, that is the end of the series for me. The rest are bonus episodes

[thejollywriter]

I'm not Crazy, I'm just Fuckin' Annoyed

I just watched a video essay about the unabomber. I'm unlikely to become a video essayist to yell about my frustrations with this video, so I wrote an essay instead. Here's my thesis, right up top, before you read the rest: the unabomber is a stupid steaming pile of self-involved pigshit and the best thing he did for the world was die.

and now, have an essay.

Ted Kaczynski is the Unabomber. I have extensive beef with the way his case is treated and he as a person is examined but this is the first immutable fact.

I just watched a little documentary about him that detailed how, while he was at Harvard, his professor selected him to participate in a ‘study,’ that had him, Kaczynski, expound on his most deeply seated beliefs. And then, with the direction of the CIA and through lawyers trained to disassemble such notions, spent the next several years having these beliefs picked apart.

He was psychologically tortured as a part of MK Ultra’s extensive, wholly unethical attempts to develop mind-control technology.

This is also fact, declared bluntly by the Agency themselves, whistleblowers, and survivors.

But this documentary says that these years of psychological abuse had little to no effect on Kaczynski’s eventual development into the Unabomber.

It was at that point that I started screaming.

I don’t often ‘dislike’ videos on youtube. I don’t give much a shit, if I don’t like a video, I click off it and move on, ESPECIALLY if I don’t finish it. But this I downvoted, and it’s this topic that I find myself annoyed enough about that I’m tempted to make my own video about.

I’m not going to, I don’t want to sit in front of a camera. So consider this my video essay in rebuttal.

Mindhunter is a 2017 procedural drama that follows Sam Worthington as an FBI profiler who helps catch the Unabomber. Paul Bettany plays Kaczynski, and he plays it with compelling gravitas.

While the show has unfolded, it has spent a great deal of time examining and cross-examining the Unabomber’s beliefs and motivations for his acts of violence and terrorism. And when Kaczynski is finally convicted and put in solitary confinement at the end of season 1, Worthington’s character is driven away from the office.

One of the notions the show’s tried to explore is ‘the evils of technology.’ Most folks have heard, if through no other context than the meme, the line, “The industrial revolution and its consequences—”

This is the beginning of the Unabomber’s screed. I diminish the significance of his manifesto because he’s this close to fucking getting it but he keeps missing the point. He talks about the social and ecological and economic violence capitalist industrialization has done to the world, but fails to ultimately condemn it.

He blames technophiles, computer scientists and engineers and such.

A metaphor the show explored was, “How can you obey a street light at an empty intersection when you, with your own judgment, can tell it’s safe to proceed. But you don’t. Because the light is red, and you obey the technology.”

That’s not an exact quote, but it’s the paraphrased motion of it.

And season 1 ends with Worthington’s profiler character sitting in a car, at a red light, in an empty intersection, while his partner and driver chose not to proceed. Because she’s obeying the red light.

It was at that point in the show that I started flipping tables, and I’m back to that point after the little documentary.

Kaczynski did not want to be seen as insane, he believed himself a rational man, and if he laid out his rational thoughts to everyone else, they’d reach the same conclusions.

Not only is that not true, there’s a tragic, awfully small little detail he seems to have overlooked. Something I don’t see examined often in any of these kinds of stories.

I’m gonna say this slowly, and I’m gonna highlight it to drive the point as clearly as I possibly can.

The second you’re willing to kill unarmed, uninvolved, innocent civilians for your ideology, your ideology is worthless.

Read it again, read it slowly, say it out loud.

I got bad fucking news, Ted, you useless sack of ineffective fertilizer, you are insane. Blowing people up because comPUTERS ARE BAD ain’t much of a fuckin’ belief system. I got worse news for you bud: the CIA paid your professors good goddamn money to methodically break your skull open and reassemble the pieces in a fucked-up fashion.

The documentary made a point of saying, “these others were also subjected to this psychological torture, but they didn’t turn out to be killers!”

So?

Kaczynski was a vulnerable, irritable, self-righteous asshole who was cherry-picked by a cruelly lecherous professor renowned for his sadism, and mentally tortured, for years.

The fact that more of those people didn’t turn out to be killers isn’t because the program failed, it’s because they were fucked up in their own, more private ways.

I’m not saying the CIA manufactured Kaczynski to be the Unabomber because of some sort of secret plot.

The CIA isn’t that clever, they’re far more direct, and if they wanted to cause a great social shift, they can just do that, because it’s the fucking CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY, the same organization that has more than 200+ political coups to their name.

Like this is their whole schtick. If they wanted to sew social unrest, they can just DO that, they wouldn’t manufacture Kaczynski to be a patsy for them.

I AM saying that during the abuse he suffered, they put him back together wrong, and ole Teddy boy isn’t a reliable narrator to say what did or didn’t effect his world view where blowing up innocent people made sense for his political motivations.

Like I cannot harp on this hard enough. Like, imagine me Hbomberguy-style breaking through the wall with an axe, okay?

WANTING TO KILL PEOPLE WITH LETTER BOMBS BECAUSE YOU THINK TECHNOLOGY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL IS NOT A NORMAL REACTION TO THE ILLS OF THE WORLD.

For fuck’s sake.

Anyway fuck Ted Kaczynski, fuck the politics of butchering uninvolved people, and on god, if you read something like his meandering scrawl of bullshit and think, “Huh maybe he got a point!”

No! He! Didn’t!

He almost had a point. And he missed it because he looked at technology as an isolated evil, and not as a direct product of the capitalism and the way it turns technology into tools of oppression and isolation.

I’m gonna go sit on the porch and look at the stars and take a deep breath of clean air and reflect on the fact that the stupid lump of shit is dead, and that’s the best thing he contributed to the world.

[shanastoryteller]

Thanks so much for telling me that it deleted 😅

Um happy birthday! I was actually gonna ask for time travel drarry this time 😂

Thanks again and have a great day!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4

They’re cautiously moving their way though the chamber, Draco letting him lead with only a minimum of arguing. Harry likes to think that the fact he’s a parselmouth, an auror, and has been here before is compelling, but honestly he thinks Draco agreed just so Harry would be eaten first if something goes wrong.

“You shouldn’t be doing this,” Harry can’t help but say, “we shouldn’t be doing this, I guess, but you started it. We shouldn't be changing anything, especially this far in the past. Who knows what it could mess up?”

Draco scoffs. “Again, how do you think we’re going to make things worse? What sort of future are you worried about preserving anyway?”

“Things are good, now,” he says, and wants to check Draco’s expression but can’t bring himself to stop looking around corners for the first hint of the basilisk.

“For who?” Draco presses. “I don’t know what war you lived through, but the one I did was complete shit.”

“And you could make it even worse by meddling!” he insists. Talking is also probably a bad idea, but with his luck it’ll be his first tell that the basilisk is near by – that he starts hissing rather than speaking. “Things could have gone even more to shit, and now they might, because of you!”

Draco snorts. “Typical. You know, some people actual value the things they lose, and aren’t exactly eager to lose them again.”

Harry stops moving and Draco nearly walks into him before he realizes it. He whirls around, now shoving his wand in Draco’s face. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Just because you’re a cliché doesn’t mean you have to throw a fit about it. Clichés are clichés for a reason, after all,” he says in a tone that Harry thinks is actually supposed to be soothing.

He’s not in the mood to be soothed. “I value what I lose.”

“No, you don’t. Your tragedy is tragic, Harry, but it’s not special. All you do is lose so you can’t linger on it. Parents, homes, friends – what’s it mean to lose them to you? You’ve lost them all, multiple times, and you’re just fine.” Draco makes a face, then shrugs. “For a given definition. Because you never think any of it is yours to keep, so the loss can’t hurt as much. Which is fine for you, and all your fucked up problems, but I’m not like you. What I lost is important to me and I’m not fine about it and I’m going to do whatever I can to get it back.”

It's the cruelest thing Draco’s ever said to him and the worst part is how he says it, irritated but casual, like it’s something unremarkable about him that’s obvious to everyone.

Maybe it is.

No wonder he could never get passed the third date with anyone.

Draco crouches down, yanking him against the wall. Harry’s surprised enough to let him. “Do you hear that?”

He almost says no automatically but he takes a second to try and hear something over their breathing.

Well, looks like they found the basilisk.

[lesabear]

Thoughts on Veilguard

TLDR: If empty calories were a video game it would be Dragon Age: The Veilguard. The game is a pleasant enough - if generic and unremarkable - action RPG that basically abandons the themes and feel of the previous games, resulting in a bland story that largely avoids dealing with anything that might remotely cause conflict in the party or force the player to consider anything other than surface level good-bad morality.

If this is the direction they're taking DA, then I think I'm done with the franchise. If I wanted a generic, thematically uninteresting, action RPG there are so many other games to play.

Spoilers in my detailed thoughts below

The good:

It looks very nice - I wish I could have spent even more time exploring the world areas.

Very few bugs or technical issues unlike Andromeda (or most new games in general). I had a few minor issues near the end but overall was very impressed.

Manfred and Assan are great secondary companions. If anyone knows where to find a skeleton and/or griffon friend please let me know.

I quite like Emmerich, Davrin and Bellara and romanced the latter two and (Generally) really liked both. Disclaimer: I tend to have different tastes than the majority of DA fandom when it comes to romances. I expected to have mixed feelings on Bellara because of my issues with Bioware and their cutesy awkward naive/inexperienced female characters but I thought they (mostly) got her right.

Some interesting lore stuff, though I quibble with how it was delivered at times. Still was fun to get a lot more info on the Evanuris, Solas, Mythal, the Titans, etc. And there's also some fun lore stuff in the codices, although again I question whether that's the best way to deliver them.

The final mission is a lot of fun and the clear standout quest other than Weisshaupt maybe. Both are a lot of fun and combine multiple story elements with good gameplay for a satisfying experience.

Combat is engaging although it does get repetitive once you "solve" it. I did a lot of grinding to complete content though so that might be my fault.

Solas is very Solas-y in the game and the highlight of the antagonists by far. I wish there had been more of him and I say that as someone who finds the Solas fandom somewhat exhausting at times. He was far more interesting and compelling than the "even-worse" gods and the fact he's a fuck up who keeps making things worse because he's an egotistical fuck-up who thinks he's the only one that can fix things was is both tragic and fun.

Neve-Lucanis and Taash-Harding are both very cute. I actually think they might be my favorite companion romances off the top of my head (Tali-Garrus does absolutely nothing for me, and I don't even romance either character with my Shepard).

The not good

Why is the Inquisitor wearing pajamas.

Bioware can fuck off for making me pop about a zillion blight pimples. It's really not that much fun after the first 1000

Extremely disappointed with how sanitized the narrative is. There's little attention paid to major facets of the DA universe that are directly relevant to the plot (religion, Tevinter slavery, racism toward elves etc.) and you also get stuff like the Crows now being far lighter of an organization than they were previously.

Just as an example - both Davrin and Bellara touch on what it means to have their gods be the villains but they're just topics for conversation and there's no meaningful impact (especially as the bad guys rely on Antaam and Venatori forces - oh and generic mercenaries). The Dalish are just there (or victims of the bad guys) for the most part. I've read comments from Bioware that confirm this but it seemed obvious Bioware wrote themselves into a corner with making Elven gods be the main antagonists, as you then run into the issue of having the elves not only already be a persecuted minority but also be worshipping evil gods - but instead of writing around it they just avoided dealing with it and acted like it's just the Dalish getting a big win by not joining them.

Speaking of enemies, lots of bland dialogue from the non-Solas big bads. And the Venatori/Antaam/mercenaries gave off major "Cerberus in ME3" vibes - nameless, faceless goons thrown at you in waves that got very boring very quickly.

The way a companion gets hardened because of a choice early in the game is mostly meaningless unless you wanted to romance them. People getting mad about that happening are being ridiculous - if anything the game is too afraid (as usual) to have it actual matter beyond them briefly being upset before moving on.

One of the big choices is to decide whether to protect Treviso or Minrathous when both are attacked by dragons, but it happens so early you might lock yourself out of quests without realizing it. Worse, the ensuing mission is incredibly short and boring (basically a couple of packs of generic enemies and then a very brief dragon fight)

Why is the Inqusitor wearing pajamas.

Why can't I be a mean/"bad" Rook? Even the jokey responses feel super tame compared to previous DAs (let alone the borderline assholish purple hawke). Basically you're only allowed to be slightly different variations of a heroic figure.

While the companions are all nice they all top out at "I like them", with none matching the story or emotional peaks of previous Bioware games. Emmerich comes closest (especially if you account for Manfred) but there's just enough meat to him.

Disappointing romances compared to previous Bioware games(especially but not limited to Lucanis.). Not a ton of depth dialogue wise and at times it feels like they put more time into the companion romance than the Rook version (this time I am definitely talking about Lucanis).

Speaking of which, Lucanis was the biggest disappointment of the companions. I didn't want a Zevran clone but you have a hardened assassin possessed by a demon who (if you choose not to save Treviso, which cuts off a lot of his content) just drinks coffee and likes Neve and uh....

Completely forgettable soundtrack which is a major bummer after previous installments. Also, while I didn't have many technical issues, the music not always playing was one of them (although maybe it doesn't really matter given the lack of quality!)

Bad to horrendous incorporation of previous DA story which was also incongruous with the general tone, especially with the handling of the Inquisitor and the treatment of southern Thedas (especially if you get the Emmerich and Harding picnic conversation at an awkward time like I did.)

Lots of disappointing cameos but especially from my Pirate Queen/Wife from DA2. Isabela's hat is indeed very nice but what is that outfit? And I get they didn't want to deal with too complex a world state but man was it a bummer to see her basically reset after everything her and Hawke went through in my main DA2 playthrough.

Why is the Inquisitor wearing pajamas.

What did they do with Harding? Why did she basically get Dagna's story, even if Titan lore is interesting? She's such a nothing character in this game which is such a weird choice given that she's clearly there because they know fans like her.

The "Actually Varric was dead all along" did nothing for me. He barely shows up in game anyway and the weird framing of every appearance and the fact no one other than Rook ever interacts with him gave it away (at least partially)

[altocat]

Alto you're so right about all the characters loving each other 🥰

In case you can't already tell, I'm kind of a cornball, sentimental person lmao I LOVE cheesy friendship crap. And so I get kinda worked up whenever I see folks in this fandom undermining or outright lying about the relationships between these characters just for the sake of shipping wars or proving Sephiroth is an "alpha male" or some shit.

Team Cloud loves each other.

Sephiroth loved Genesis and Angeal.

Cloud loves Tifa AND Aerith, who also love both him AND each other.

Zack loved Cloud enough to die for him.

Sephiroth loves his fucked up alien mom because he's a pathetic baby who loved the idea of HAVING a mom.

I'm not even talking about shipping stuff either. The characters in this story are tied together in emotional ways, whether that's tragically, comedically, platonically, romantically, etc. They are DEFINED by the connections they make. That's how you write compelling characters. It's okay for them to have those vulnerabilities, and for opposing ships to have no bad blood between the characters. I wish the wider fandom realized this. These characters ARE the connections they form with each other. And we don't have to tear ourselves to shreds in recognizing and appreciating that concept.

[your-fave-has-munchausen]

I know I've established myself as the Ouma Munchausen Guy, but I was rolling Byakuya around in my head today because like... I already got that request from an anon in the first few days of the blog and made the Your Fave post and everything, but it compels me.

Like here's this guy who has been put on top of the world and has such high expectations of him on account he is to inherit this huge conglomerate and that's literally all he exists for. (Encounter with Gojo got me thinking sue me.) He's stressed to hell and back the man cannot catch a break the grind never stops. Even just to get where he is, he had to go through this whole battle royale-esque competition at 13 just to secure his spot as the family's heir.

The grind TRULY never stops and on top of that I doubt Papa Togami ever really gave his kids all that much attention growing up outside of like. Enforcing expectations, y'know? Then, as if that wasn't enough, it's like. Established that this is so normal for the family that he doesn't even realize how fucked up it is or that it's seriously fucking HIM up in the process.

That is the perfect disaster for him to have a moment where he suddenly falls ill as a kid and is forced to stop, and suddenly it's okay because he's sick and now all these people are tending to his needs because that's what you do when someone's sick, especially when someone important is sick, and just. That unknowable something to just clicks in his brain:

If he wants a break, he needs an excuse.

If he wants a break, he needs to be injured or ill.

Boom. Munchausen Syndrome.

God and like maybe at first as a little kid he tries the whole faking thing, lies that his stomach hurts or something, but under the scrutiny of the Togami name and expectations and shit that would IMMEDIATELY fall apart I think. No, it has to be REAL. Whatever it is, he has to make it REAL, so he'd quickly learn to opt for the inducing flavor, and even then it can't just be ANYTHING. It has to be serious enough that he's literally incapacitated because he's a Togami bro he can't handle a little cold? A sprained ankle? Walk it off, that's pussy shit!

Like god can you imagine him deliberately overworking himself hoping one day he'll collapse from some mysterious Ailment so he can finally rest for once in his goddamn life? You think he's ever needlessly reckless with his life choices hoping that it'll fuck him over later? He can't just stop, he's a fucking Tomagi, he needs something to MAKE him stop.

He needs something to happen so it's OKAY to stop and NOT be okay for a minute.

I wonder if part of why he studies true crime and stuff is to learn about all sorts of ways he could discreetly hurt himself for a break. Those horror stories about poisoned food and the victim slowly gets sicker and sicker? I wonder if he ever thought about replicating that. Not to die, but to take a break. I wonder if being sick like that feels more like a vacation to him than the actual vacations he goes on, so performative and always tangled up in social niceties.

And that's just the precedent I haven't even gotten to the killing game yet like!

Glossing over his history at Hope's Peak the first go-round because that's a tragic-ass character study fic in itself but like. He's suddenly in the killing game where now more than ever he has to lock the fuck in, he's gotta get a grip, but he's stressed more than ever because how the fuck can you not be in a situation like that? You can see it in his sprites, the way he goes fucking blue in the face, but he has to be poised and everyone buys it.

And it's like... he can't induce illness in a killing game that's just going to make him an easy target so what the fuck is he supposed to do?

Or maybe he did and it didn't even work. Didn't he say something or other about finding canned foods in the warehouse? Does he know for sure whether that stuff is good or not compared to the stuff in the kitchen? Maybe he's eating it lowkey hoping to get food poisoning.

Either way, though, he's going to have to get attention another way. Everyone's stuck on the killing game so he just starts stirring up the most inane shit to try to distract himself.

Do you think when the chem lab opened up he had a mini-crisis? Here are all these poisons he may or may not know about because of the true crime stuff. Stuff he might've used before to induce illness in himself, and it's like... if the food poisoning was one thing, that's another thing entirely. That really IS making him an easy target, he can't risk that...

... Or maybe he did, but man this post is long enough.