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messenger-of-babel · 1 month ago

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The Call

Summary: One little call to each of them. One big consequence. (Batfamily x sibling!reader)

Word Count: 2.9K

Notes: IM LATE AGAIN. I hope you all know that I do stay up wildly late when this happens cause I want to edit before I submit, even if some of these were pre-written (its 1:30AM RAHH). ANWAYS. Batfamily, I tried to get as many as I could but I haven't collected runs for about half the family cause I am biased towards my boys, but I am trying to be as accurate as possible when I can be and that includes those dynamics! So rest assured I am doing my research and hopefully that'll reflect soon. As usual, enjoy your daily feed and I'll enjoy my nap. Warnings just for general description of violence.

Much Love~! xx

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When Dick got the call, he was in his civilian clothes.

Dick Grayson was suit shopping, needing something for an upcoming gala. He had put it off for so long, since he wore the Nightwing suit more than any other in his closet. He had let it ring out once while he got his measurements taken, but when they called back a second time, his lips dipped into a frown. Excusing himself, he clicked the answer call button, stating his name. He hears the voice of Bruce, but in the stern tone of Batman. He doesn’t think that he's ever left a store as fast as he had that day, feet thudding on the pavement and breath cold in his chest as he hurries to his car. He unlocks it and all but throws himself into the passenger seat, lines on his face hardening. Throwing it quickly into drive he pulls out and heads in the direction of the manor.

He tries to keep himself composed, his emotional training kicking in. His fingers are tense on the steering wheel, passing over the bridge at a speed a cop would most certainly pull him over for. Even though he tries to take a deep breath, there's a burning in his sternum. It builds until it creeps into his neck, making him click his tongue uncomfortably.

The sensation is a rage he hadn't felt in a while, a fire that hadn’t burnt that intensely since he was just a boy grieving his parents’ death. It had flickered when he had heard Bruce had adopted a boy called Jason after him, sputtering to life upon hearing about his death. Yet he had grown, he had risen above it and had become a shelter for his younger, extended family. He was dependable, uncrackable, and upbeat, that was Nightwing. Yet as he drives back with that painful fire in his chest, he felt nothing more than Dick Grayson, the boy stricken with fear at the idea of losing his family.

When Jason got the call, he had been on patrol.

Helm securely on his face, it kept the drizzly night rain of Gotham out of his eyes. It had been a rather quiet night, stopping a few minor robberies and assaults that were common down by Dixon Docks. He was eager to return home, wanting to swing by the manor quickly to take full advantage of the hot water system before heading back to his apartment in Old Gotham for a well-deserved rest. He had just finished interrogating some of Penguins' men, about to call the cave to let whoever was on tonight know that they finally had the location of the new drug den they had been chasing the past month. However, the communication device he had set on his bike was lit, screen full of notifications.

Calls, one after another filled the small holographic display and he pressed the button to call back, leg swinging over the side of the bike as he did so. He had only started the bike but already he screeched to a stop, making sure he heard the words properly. A curse and gruffly shouted questions were his only response and when he got the information he wanted, he cut the call and the bike roared to life. He leant forward as if that was going to help him get to his destination quicker, blood boiling underneath his skin. His chest ached with the urge to sputter out pants, desperate to start the sign of panic racing through his veins. Yet he was stronger than that, keeping his cool like a tightly wound coil, muscles tensed beneath the suit.

His mind buzzes with worry, anxiety gnawing at his ribcage like a feral rat.

Jason doesn't often allow himself to be emotional on the job, despite his tendency for rage.

But rage was different. Rage burned and warmed him up from the inside, was the force that he put behind every punch or kick. It was his kindling, and it served to guide him as well as any star. Of course, Bruce had tempered it somewhat, but he had just guided Jason into turning it into something else, not getting rid of entirely. He used rage to protect the people of the city, the outrage he felt when he saw them get treated badly. He used rage when coming to his family's defence, the sight of hands being laid on people he had come to care for sparking it too. Those were the rages he was used to using, although there was always a third.

The pit.

The rage that bubbled away in the back of his mind, hidden behind a tall wall and shoved into the deepest part of him. That was the rage that crept forth, green and poisonous in his veins and clouding his judgement in a fog of pain and despair and anger. When it would appear, he would often take a moment to himself to pack it back away, contain it once more in the bulletproof casing of his heart. Yet right now, he didn't want to put it back. It made him rev the bike harder, made him feel like he was getting there quicker. The bike kicked up water as he zig zagged through the back streets, his mental map of Gotham rerouting anytime the traffic was longer than five cars deep. He couldn't afford to lost time, to not be fast enough. Not now, not this time, and if he had to use the rage the pit cursed him with, he would.

Tim was at the manor, holed up in his room when he got the call.

It had been a long night the night before, tossing restlessly. Not that he would have told anyone, but the last fight with Bane had left him with a few more bruises than he had let on, cleverly hidden from the keen eyes of Alfred. He wanted to nurse them himself, carry his own weight. In fact, he had been sulking in his room going over the things that had been troubling him, knees pulled to his chest.

Dick was capable and dependable, and the first Robin, the biggest shoes to fill. Jason was tenacious but loved deeply, and he fought for what was right. His methods might be unconventional to the Bat sometimes, but he knew what he wanted to fight for. Steph had flown the nest to become Spoiler, Cass already had such a firm grasp of who she wanted to become now that she was Orphan. Barbara had even been able to turn her life around after being put into her wheelchair, her desire to help leading her to become Oracle when she had to hang up Batgirl. Even Damian, the true son of Bruce Wayne, was so confident, growing at a rate he knew Bruce was quietly proud of.

But then there was Tim, who stayed up on weekends trying to redesign his suit, to carve his own vigilante life, only to look on it and see the traces of his time as Robin printed clearly on it. The role of Robin had outgrown him, but there was the shred of doubt that whispered in his ear that just maybe, he hadn't outgrown it. The ringing of his phone snapped him out of his daze, and he let it go to voicemail. When it came again, he grabbed his phone with the desire to turn it off, but seeing the emergency signal had him picking up right away.

"Hello?" he called, sitting right up in bed. His eyes widened and he shelved his pity party, running out of his room.

He winds through the halls of the manor until he finds the door he's looking for. Tim's knuckles rap against the wood loudly, repeating until a disgruntled Damian comes to the door, swinging it open violently. "This better be good, Drake." he deadpans, scanning the flustered state of the older boy. Tim just turns his phone screen, showing the emergency call signal before gesturing to the direction of the grandfather clock with his head. "We've got to go." he says curtly, the young boy hot on his heels after he recovers from his shock.

Both of them head to the cave and prepare to depart immediately. Tim slips the suit over his skin like an outgrown shedding, domino mask sliding onto his face. He couldn’t recognise his own face when he caught sight of it in the glass reflection, but a mask and suit would never be enough to hide the panic that clung to him tighter than the Red Robin suit.

When Bruce got the call, he was at Wayne Enterprises.

He was making a rare appearance at the office, knowing that Lucius had something that he wanted to talk to him about. His office felt foreign and sterile, empty and unreal. The glass surfaces everywhere let him glimpse the face of Bruce Wayne, a face that he was beginning to see less and less. It felt uncanny seeing himself without the cowl, and sometimes when he was working, he could swear he saw a reflection of the bat ears in the window beside him. The night had dragged on, and he was only an hour into the meeting with Lucius when the phone in his suit pocket rang.

He and Lucius shared a sceptical look as he turned the phone screen. The call location wasn't displaying as the Batcave, the only place that could contact this phone directly outside of his children, Lucius and Alfred's personal mobile. Yet he knew Red Hood was taking the brunt of patrol tonight, and Bruce was intended to join him after the meeting. Dick was carrying out some errands downtown and everyone else had either stayed home or didn't contact him like this often. The girls preferred to call his phone as Bruce Wayne or spoke through Alfred, so who could it be?

Lucius gives a nod, silent as he sits down. Bruce's face hardens as he presses the speaker button, accepting the call.

"Who is this?" he says, lowering his voice to the gravelly timbre of Batman.

"Da...B-Batman?" comes a broken, shaky voice on the other end. Lucius's eyes widen and flick to Bruce's immediately, mouth parting. Bruce's jaw ticks, eyes widening as well when he hears your voice.

"This is the Batman. How did you get this number?" He asks, having to focus on keeping his voice low, even though the tone of Bruce threatens to creep back in.

"He-he just had it. I don't know. He just told me to speak, I-I'm not even holding the phone I can't see anything; I’m tied, my eyes are-" you begin to ramble, struggling to get through your words before you're cut off.

"Hello, Batsy." calls a voice close to the receiver, and Bruce swore that his heart fell through the floor in that moment. His fingers tighten around the phone the same way that his lungs are constricting in his chest.

"Joker."

The man on the other end cackles, if Bruce could even call him that. "Miss me?" he snickers, Bruce's mind filling with the image of a red stretched grin. "You see, this is more of a... courtesy call. You know Bruce Wayne, billionaire extraordinaire?"

Bruce's head snaps up to Lucius, who's rubbing at his face nervously.

He didn't know, did he?

"You see, I didn't make a lot of impact going after the commissioner last time, so I had to think to myself, If I wanted to really shake things up in Gotham, who else is there? Then I thought of it, who better than the playboy of the century?" he laughs, punctuated with a sharp snap of his fingers.

"Get to the point." Bruce all but growls.

"Yeah yeah, you always love to rush me, don't you?" The Joker snarks back with fake hurt, before continuing. "Regardless, I have one of his little orphan projects, thinking I might have a bit more success with this one."

He hears a thwack over the phone and a scream, making his nails dig into his palm. He steadies his breathing.

"What have you done?" he asks, low and dangerous.

Another thwack.

"Exactly what I said. But there was a rumour going around that you know Mr. Money, so I thought I'd give you a call, you know, a little gift. If you do know the richest orphan in Gotham, then I want to give you the honour of telling him I've got one of his. Better yet, I want to give you the honour of delivering their body to his doorstep. Maybe that way, you might be able to bond over losing your fake kids."

Bruce feels sick, closing his eyes to try and stop himself from making a mistake right now.

Your life was on the line. He had to play smart.

"Where are you?"

The joker tuts on the other end. "This was a courtesy call, nothing more. I don't want anyone interrupting my playtime. Tata for now~"

"Joker-" he starts but then he's cut off, line going dead. Lucius doesn't say anything, his own personal phone pulled out as he calls Alfred, studying the frozen figure of Bruce. It's almost like there's dark tendrils to the shadows on his broad body, deepening the lines on his face.

Bruce doesn't remember too much, but Batman did.

Immediately he had left the room, suit en route to him and arriving within the minute. As soon as the comfort of his cowl touched his skin, Bruce was gone, and it was Batman calling everyone at the same time. It was Dick who picked up first, a couple of rings earlier than Jason before Tim joined, the sound of Damian in the background. Oracle and Spoiler joined together, while the others were still pending. He didn’t have the time to temper his voice as he relayed the situation, immediately getting as many people on recon as possible.

There were shouts and yelling and cursing before all of their lines became inactive, replaced with trackers signalling that their suits were live. When he enters the batmobile he grips the wheel tensely. The lump in his throat doesn't seem to disappear, only growing larger with each second. His mind is filled with pictures of Jason. Pictures of Barbara. The smiling photos of you.

He might never admit it, but he had your photos front and centre in his wallet (something you did in fact know and used to your advantage frequently in 'dad loves me more' battles). He remembers the first day he ever saw you, cold and scared apart from the other kids in the orphanage. He had been investigating a potential human trafficking ring operating out of the centre, but when he saw you, the fatherly pang hit him. The way your eyes stared forward dully as he greeted children as Bruce Wayne, cameras flashing around him. He had enough wealth to buy the children anything they asked for, the other kids excitedly asking for new toys or clothes or art supplies. However, when he kneeled down in front of you and asked you want you wanted, you said only a few words, 'a family'.

And god be damned if Bruce didn't have money enough for that too.

So, he took you in, hid batman from you like he had tried to with everyone else as well. Yet he failed again, but unlike his children in the past, you never asked to join. Never asked for a suit or to stay up or to train in the cave. Never showed any interest in joining your siblings or throwing yourself in front of danger for the sake of the city. When he asked you why you had simply shrugged, giving him a soft smile.

"All I've ever wanted was to be part of a family. I don't need to be a superhero to be loved."

And then you beamed at him with a smile that could have lit up his world and chased the clouds away from Gotham, so pure and genuinely content. That made Bruce feel like he had finally succeeded as a father, and for once Bruce felt like a father. No Batman, no mask and cape. He didn't train with you; he went out with you to the theatre on weekends. You didn't jump from rooftop to rooftop, you liked to come study with him in his office when he had to take care of Wayne affairs. Batman may have been created to save Gotham city, but he was convinced that you were sent to save Bruce Wayne.

Now, he felt that he had failed you as both Bruce and Batman.

"Hold on sweetheart," he whispers to himself, letting his eyes close for a brief moment during his exhale. "I'll get you home. I promise."

He pressed the accelerator further, Batmobile display signaling that everyone else was suited up and across the city waiting further instruction. He just hoped, he prayed that when he brought you back, it wouldn't be in a body bag.

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aperrywilliams · 3 months ago

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That Green Monster (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

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Author Masterlist

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.

Summary: Your relationship with Spencer is fresh new, and some of his insecurities arise when someone new joins the team, making him react in a wrong way to you.

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: Fluff and Angst. And then fluff at the end (I don't even understand myself). Spencer lashes out. Spencer is insecure. Reader is mad. Both are so madly in love, though.

A/N: This one has been sitting as a WIP for way too long, so I decided to finish it today!

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A shot in the neck.

That's what it took for you and Spencer to - finally - get together. To confess you loved each other.

Everything happened while working a case in Texas. You had cornered a suspect who was hiding in a restaurant. You wanted to open a communication line with him, but out of nowhere, shots got fired. And one of them ended in your neck.

What happened next was a blur to everyone, especially to Spencer. He barely remembers Morgan pulling him back so that the paramedics could check on you.

The ambulance ride to the hospital and the hours of waiting for news were excruciating.

In Spencer's brain, only the thought that he might lose you forever without coming clean about his feelings for you.

You have been in a similar situation before, but this time, he thought you wouldn't make it.

It would be the loss of a friend and the loss of the love of his life.

If Spencer has to be honest, he realized he loved you after your first month working at the BAU. And with every passing day, the feeling only got stronger. But he was scared of saying anything, afraid of changing - or losing - the strong bond you guys already had.

So, he kept it to himself for years. For six years, to be exact.

But what he didn't know was you had fallen for him, too.

And how could you not? You both went through so many things over the years: Spencer's kidnapping, his Dilaudid problem, your family issues, the injuries, bad cases, unsubs attacks, hospital visits, and so on. With every bump in the way, you both were each other rock. Always together, no matter what.

The team affectionately called you Mulder and Scully, but in reverse roles, of course.

But even if, at some point, both of you realized what you had was much more than a friendship, neither of you did something about it.

Until you got shot in the neck.

In that uncomfortable waiting room chair, Spencer prayed, to whatever or whoever could listen, for a chance to make things right.

So when you woke up in your hospital bed hours later, the first thing you saw was Spencer's face.

He was by your side as always. But this time, he had something to tell you. Spencer didn't have the chance, though, because before he could say anything, three words blurted out from your lips: 'I love you.'

Between happy tears, you both spent hours talking and coming to the conclusion you were both idiots in love.

You didn't say anything to the team, but you all knew they knew, so it became unspoken knowledge after you were released from the hospital.

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With you home due to your neck injury and JJ on maternity leave, Hotch decided that some help would be better than putting more pressure on the remaining team members.

That's why he borrowed an agent from Sex Crimes.

Spencer had already told you that there was a new agent, but he hadn't developed this information in detail.

You knew him on your first day back, a month after you got shot.

Once you exited the elevator on the sixth, you headed through the bullpen glass doors. When you pushed them open, you didn't realize that someone was going in the opposite direction, and you almost hit the guy in the face with one of the doors.

"Oh, my God. I'm sorry!" you exclaimed when you realized what almost happened.

The man shook his head in dismissal. "No, no. Don't be. Nothing happened."

"But I almost hit you with a glass door," you pointed. The guy didn't seem phased by it, though.

"I'm okay, really," he insisted, flashing you a smile. You hadn't picked much of his appearance, to be honest, but the guy was easy on the eyes. Another thing that caught your attention was you had never seen him before.

"Do I know you?" You asked with curiosity.

"I don't think so. I'm Agent Dodds. Jake Dodds," he introduced himself, extending his hand. You've heard that last name before. You told him yours, shaking his hand.

"Really? You are a BAU member, right? I'm the backup agent Hotchner brought to the team," he explained, and then it clicked. He was the new guy.

Jake Dodds was young, fresh and motivated. After his first year in Sex Crimes, he already has a lot of accomplishments to show off. And, of course, he was doing his best to impress Hotch and the team.

Coming to the office bright and early and being the last to leave gave Dodds a chance to engage with the cases and the team members - you included. Due to your neck injury, you were mostly on desk duty, so you had enough time to help Jake with paperwork and all the questions he might have about past cases. And Dodds had many.

In the weeks that followed, he has spent a lot of time by your side, working with you when the team wasn't out of town.

It was part of your nature to be forthcoming and willing to teach others. And having worked at the BAU for almost six years, you felt like you could teach one thing or two.

Spencer loves that from you; it's one of the many things that made him fall in love with you. But for some reason, Jake's closeness to you started to bother him.

Spencer knew it was irrational and without foundation. Still, in the past weeks since Dodds joined, with each laugh from you when Jake cracked a joke, every time you sat together at the office a little too close, or every day you decided to have lunch with Jake rather than him, Spencer's jealousy only got stronger. It didn't help the team's comments about you and Jake.

'Dodds looks hooked by her'; 'The newbie definitely is flirting with her'; 'Really handsome view she has over there.'

Spencer could only bite his tongue. He could easily assume that the team was only messing with the situation, but the green monster growing inside didn't let him think clearly.

Spencer knew you, and you would never do something to hurt him, so why did he feel that uneasiness inside of him?

Maybe the fact you were in the early stages of your relationship made Spencer insecure. It was all new and fresh; he was happy with you, but although you both have known each other for years, he was inexperienced in the love department. Being friends was one thing, but being a couple was different.

So instead of talking to you—which he knew was the right thing to do—Spencer did what he usually does when he feels overwhelmed: he shuts people out.

And you did notice, of course.

Something was troubling him, you knew that, but every time you brought up the topic, he dodged it. You didn't look much into it at first because you knew Spencer would talk to you eventually when he felt ready. Or you assumed he would.

But the days went by, and Spencer still hadn't told you why he had been so distant, so you decided to confront him.

You both were watching a movie at your place, but you noticed Spencer wasn't paying attention to the TV. After an internal debate about whether it was a good idea to bring this up, you tested the waters.

"Spencer, are you okay?" you asked him, genuine concern lacing your voice.

The question hung in the air enough to make you think he might not hear you.

"Spencer?" you tried again, swearing you heard him huff even if he tried to be subtle.

"I'm okay, just tired," he hastened to dismiss, not looking at you.

So he heard you, but you had to call his name again to get an answer. Something is definitely wrong.

Contemplating your options, you chose to end the 'patiently wait until he comes to you' strategy. You were his girlfriend now. Why he couldn't trust you enough to tell you what's going on?

"Okay. This bullshit needs to stop now. You have been weird for too many days to tell me now you are okay and just tired. I know something happened and need you to tell me what it is," you demanded.

Shifting uncomfortably in his spot, Spencer had an inner debate about coming clean to you. He didn't want to admit how much Jake's closeness to you was bothering him. Spencer didn't want you to think about him as the possessive and clingy boyfriend who can't see his girlfriend near other guys.

He wasn't like that, right?

"You are imagining things. I'm perfectly fine," Spencer deadpanned, eyes returning to the TV.

Your mouth went slack. Were you imagining things? Was he thinking you were stupid?

"So I'm imagining things, uh? It's not you being defensive right now, isn't it?"

"No." He gave you a curt answer that meant precisely the opposite of what he was implying.

You wanted to give him a chance to open with you, but Spencer wasn't engaging.

It seemed easier to talk about what was happening to each other when you were only friends. Why is it so hard now you are a couple? You couldn't understand, and your patience was running short.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" you called him out in frustration. "Who do you think I am? A random person who hasn't known you for fucking six years?"

Spencer internally flinched. He saw the confusion and anger mixed in your eyes, and he felt the urge to hug you tight, telling you he was being an irrational jealous asshole. But Spencer didn't bring himself to do it, and instead, he tried to play cool and detached.

"I already told you. Everything is wonderful, at least for me. Not for you?" Spencer asked casually.

You narrowed your eyes at him. He looked calm and collected, but you could feel he was anything but.

"Okay. I'll bite the bullet. So the distance between us in the past weeks doesn't bother you as it bothers me," you concluded.

Spencer let out a bitter chuckle.

"Funny you're bothered by that. You have seemed very busy in the past weeks," Spencer mumbled.

A slip that didn't go unnoticed by you.

"Very busy?" you echoed his words. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Spencer shrugged, unamused.

"Exactly what it is. You have been very busy at the BAU lately. I only have been giving you space."

You squinted your eyes, raking your brain to understand Spencer's meaning. For your mandatory desk duty, you have spent more time in the office than in the field, but besides that, what has been different?

And then it clicked on you. Jake Dodds.

Sure, you've been very willing to teach him things and help him with his work, but that only explains Spencer's annoyance if there is another reason.

"Is this about Dodds? Are you jealous of Jake?" you questioned in disbelief.

Spencer's face paled. You had caught him.

After your deduction, he should have told the truth, but Spencer is stubborn enough not to give in, especially if that meant recognizing something he felt embarrassed of.

"W- what?! No! Where did you get that? I'm not jealous or remotely close to that," Spencer rebutted defensively.

Oh, he was definitively jealous. At the realization, you let out a giggle, eyes softening at your boyfriend. For you, there is no guy he should be worried about- not for Jake or any other person. Your heart is his, and you know there is nobody in this world you want to be with more than Spencer.

But Spencer's face deflated. You were laughing at him, and he felt even worse.

"Spencer, there is no reason for you to be -"

You couldn't even finish your sentence when Spencer cut you off, standing from the couch.

"I already told you! Am I not speaking English to you?"

His face was red, but not by embarrassment anymore. Now, it was a kind of contained rage.

Stunned by his reaction, it took you a few seconds to say anything.

"I - I'm just trying to understand what's going on. Don't be rude," you chimed.

Spencer let out a humorless chuckle.

"Rude, did you say? Am I rude because I disagree with you? Is that? Or am I rude because this doesn't have to do with you?"

"Excuse me? When did this turn into a problem related to me?"

You stood to mirror his stature so as not to look vulnerable.

"I don't know, you tell me. Are you disappointed because not everything or anyone in this world is revolving around you?"

Spencer's voice was cold and sarcastic, something you had seen in him before but never directed toward you. He was outrightly saying you were self-centered.

"Spencer -" you tried to warn him to back off, but Spencer didn't stop.

"No. I get it. You like the attention. But, I'm sorry, I'm not in the mood to indulge your childish self. Maybe the young and funny Agent Dodds could help you with that. But not me."

A dead silence settled in the room. If a needle had fallen on the floor, it would have made a noticeable noise.

You couldn't believe that man was your boyfriend—the man who was telling you such hurtful words.

Spencer saw how your features morphed from confused to hurt and then to offense, and with a twist in his guts, he knew he had fucked up.

"Are you done?"

Your tone was flat and collected, even if, on the inside, there was a storm of feelings. Spencer was deflated and looking for the right words to apologize.

"Hey, look, I'm -"

"I asked if you were done." You questioned harshly this time, and Spencer only gave you a shy nod.

"Okay, now get out!"

Your command was only followed by your actions as you walked to your entrance to open the door.

With horror, Spencer tried to sputter words to change your mind.

"I'm sorry. I - I didn't - Please, don't do this."

"I said, get out! I don't want you here!"

You emphasized your words, gesturing to the open door.

"Baby, I wasn't - I didn't mean what-" Spencer tried again, but you had made up your mind and didn't want to hear him.

"I don't fucking care! You had your time to explain yourself, and I don't want to hear anything else from you."

Spencer knew that nothing he could say at that moment would help his cause, so like a dog with the tail between his legs, he slowly made the walk of shame towards your door, but not before looking at you and begging for forgiveness with his eyes. It was a useless thing because you didn't even look at him back. Once he was out of your sight, you slammed the door shut, and your facade crumbled.

Tears started to fall freely, in a combination of pain and frustration.

It's needless to say, you couldn't sleep that night.

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Spencer looked distracted and visibly sad.

Morgan knew something had happened to him, even if the man had denied the fact for the past two days. And Morgan was sure it was something related to you. It looked like Spencer would combust from guilt whenever his eyes landed on you. Morgan's suspicion turned to be right the moment you caught Spencer's gaze, and you purposely averted it.

"Okay, pretty boy, what did you do?" Morgan questioned Spencer when he caught him pouring coffee in the kitchenette.

"What? Me? Nothing!" Spencer defended himself, but the crack in his voice did nothing to help his cause.

"So she's not talking to you just because?"

Spencer shrugged, leaving the pot over the counter.

Was he being so obvious? If Spencer wanted to maintain the facade that 'nothing is wrong here,' he was failing miserably.

Morgan scoffed, grabbing a mug to pour some coffee for himself.

"Come on, Reid. There must be something. Since yesterday morning, you look like a kicked puppy, and she seems visibly upset, and you're both always attached to the hip."

Dangerous territory, Spencer thought. But at this point, his regret was more powerful than keeping your relationship private.

"She is mad at me," the man recognized. It was a 'vague' recognition, but it was something.

Morgan seemed not surprised, though.

"No shit, Sherlock. The question is why, pretty boy," Derek prodded.

Spencer sighed deeply. How could he express what really happened without telling the whole truth?

Morgan saw the struggle in Spencer's eyes.

"I know you are both hurting by whatever happened. Maybe talking would help you clear your head and think about how to fix it."

Spencer took in Morgan's words. Some advice could help, he decided.

"We fought. I mean, we argued two nights ago, and she kicked me out. And now she is not talking to me, and I don't- I want to apologize, but I don't know how."

Spencer winced, just remembering your fight.

Derek looked at him incredulously.

"She kicked you out? What in the world did you do so she reacted like that?"

The actual question was 'what he said' because, strictly speaking, he didn't do anything besides let his mouth run on its own accord.

He regretted every word he said to you the second they left his mouth, but the damage was done, and you were fed up enough to listen to his apologies, so you yelled at him to let you alone. He didn't blame you. But he was feeling miserable, and it showed.

Spencer told Morgan exactly what happened—word by word.

"Jesus, Reid. I didn't peg you like the jealous type," Morgan acknowledged. Spencer shook his head.

"It's not like that. I mean, I know she loves me..."

"But?"

Spencer sighed. "What if - what if she realizes there are better men than me? That I am not enough for a romantic relationship?"

Morgan's eyebrows knit together. Spencer's face was pure panic, only thinking about the possibility.

"And Dodds would be better than you? You know he's like a kid, right?" Morgan pointed.

"Yeah. A young man with a lot of confidence that makes her smile and has her undivided attention. He's smart and qualified for this job like any of us. I'm not better than him. And I can perfectly be disposable in comparison."

That was the thing. Spencer felt insecure about you finding someone better than him.

Morgan looked at him empathetically.

"Man, I think you are looking too much into it. I don't think you should feel threatened in your relationship with her. And I guess she thinks the same and feels hurt for you thinking that."

Spencer nodded. "That's why I know I fucked up. I hurt her for my insecurities. It's all my fault," he lamented.

"You need to talk to her," Morgan advised, and Spencer whined.

"How? She hasn't spared me a glance in two days!"

"You're a genius, Spencer. And above all, how long have you known her? Five years? Think of something."

"Five years, eleven months, three weeks, and four days," Spencer corrected without hesitation.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about. You'll figure it out."

Spencer sighed deeply as Morgan patted his shoulder before leaving the kitchenette. Derek was right; they should talk. Spencer just had to figure out how to make that happen.

-----------------------------------

That night you were sulking at your apartment, laying on the couch and watching some crap on the TV, when three knocks alerted you.

You weren't expecting anyone, and you didn't think Spencer could be outside your door. You were clear in telling him you didn't want to talk to him when he cornered you in the breaking room this afternoon.

But if you knew something about Spencer Reid, it was that he could be stubborn as fuck. So when you looked by the peephole and saw him standing there, you only closed your eyes and sighed.

Spencer knocked again. "I know you are there. And I know you don't want to talk to me. But please, let me do the talk. Please, at least listen to the things I need to say."

"You already said enough," you spat from your spot on the other side of the door. Spencer gulped hard. He said enough hurtful things to you to kick his ass, but he was determined to gain your forgiveness somehow.

"I can't stress enough how sorry I am for that. But I need you to know that I didn't mean any of it." Spencer paused, and when he didn't hear you say anything, he continued. "I'm an asshole, and I would understand if you want to break up and never see me again. I mean, well - it - it would be kind of difficult not to see each other because we work together, but you know what I mean. Or maybe not, I don't know. Jesus, what the fuck am I saying?" Spencer chastised himself, trying to control his nerves.

You could hear him struggling, so you decided to spare him a panic attack in the middle of the hallway. You opened your door and saw him still trying to sputter what he wanted to say.

"If this is your way to apologize, you are doing a terrible job." Your voice was not angry but tired. Because if he had had two tortuous days of you not talking to him, you haven't done it any better, overthinking about your fight over and over again.

Spencer's glassy, pleading eyes found yours.

"I know. It seems it's another thing I suck at," he admitted fidgeting with his hands. "Would you, uh. Would you let me try again? Apologize. That is."

It's true you were still mad with him, but you really wanted to understand why he reacted the way he did that night and said all the things he said. You know him too well to ignore that something else beyond mere jealousy clearly triggered his outburst.

Without saying a word, you gestured for him to get into the apartment. Spencer was quick to comply before you changed your mind.

You both took seats on opposite sides of the couch, eyes overly interested in your living room rug. After some minutes of silence and knowing he needed to say something, Spencer cleared his throat.

"I guess I'm going to start with the beginning," he prefaced, keeping his hands in his lap as you turned to contemplate him in silence. "Uh - you know it took me time to come clean with my feelings for you. A lot of time, almost six years," he chuckled nervously. You nodded, not wanting to interrupt him, fearing to get him more anxious.

"The thing is- I have been in love with you for so long and creating scenarios of us in my mind that - that now I know it is real, I don't - It's still difficult to grasp the idea we are together, you know?"

As Spencer raked his hair, collecting his thoughts, you couldn't help but remember all the things you both went through until you decided to tell the truth to each other. Six years is a long time. But you wanted to believe it has been worth it.

"I'm not used to a life where I get to be happy; when I think I am, things crush down, and I lose everything. It's a rule: good things don't last in my life."

You know how difficult it has been for Spencer to accept that he is not cursed or anything like that—a very difficult task, knowing the things he has been through.

"So my mind began to be haunted by the idea that it was a matter of time before you realized you could do better than me, and I'm only worth it as a friend."

His words made you recall the times you both discussed your love life in the past and all the doubts weighing on Spencer's shoulders. After those conversations, you always swore to make him feel loved and appreciated.

"And then you came back to work, and Dodds was there. I created this whole scenario, telling myself that you would be better with someone like him."

Spencer paused to gauge your reaction. You were openly listening to him, taking in every word.

"I know it's unfair to you. I - I betrayed your trust by mulling those ideas and saying all those hurtful things I truly don't believe. I'm so sorry; I don't have a defense other than my incompetence in dealing with my insecurities," Spencer concluded, letting a deep sigh escape from his lips and averting your gaze. He looked embarrassed and vulnerable, and it hurts you to acknowledge how small he feels about himself. You reached your hand tentatively, touching his forearm, and Spencer's eyes drifted back to you.

"Spencer, you have to know there is no one in this world who I love so deeply as I love you. No man could compare to you. No matter how young or confident or whatever difference you can name. You are the most thorough, caring, and selfless person I know, and I love you so fucking much it hurts," you gave his arm a gentle squeeze to emphasize your point. Spencer's cheeks flushed a bit. He still needs to get used to your compliments.

"What I still don't get is why you didn't tell me. Don't you trust me enough to talk to me about how you feel?"

Spencer hastened to reply, taking your hand in his. "No! It's not that! I do trust you with my life!"

"Then why didn't you tell me the truth at the beginning?"

"I - I don't know. I thought you would see me as the shitty boyfriend who can't see his partner near another man. It's as if I wanted to control you. And that's far from what I want," Spencer explained, scooting by your side as his grip on your hand tightened. "It was my problem, not yours. You did nothing to make this happen. I'm the one who must have to fix it." You shook your head.

"Baby, no. If it is something that upsets you, it is my problem, too. Spencer, we need to talk about those things and resolve them together."

Spencer's head hung low, taking in your words.

"But why? I am the insecure one, and you have done nothing more than show me how unfounded my fear is."

"Well, because you're still my best friend, and I care about you." Spencer's gaze met yours again. "It's the thing I first loved about us, you know? I love feeling safe with you and having the trust to talk about what is happening to us." With loving eyes, you brought his hand to your lips to kiss it.

"I want you to keep being my best friend, too," Spencer said with a hopeful smile. It was all you needed to hear.

"Then please don't forget that. You can always talk to me, and I promise to do the same, okay?" Spencer nodded at your words, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Okay. I promise," Spencer replied before wrapping you in a tight embrace. You melted in his arms, feeling his warmth and inhaling his scent, something you have been missing in the past two days.

"I love you," you mumbled into his chest. "So so much."

"I love you too. And I'm so sorry for my behavior two days ago," Spencer muttered in your hair.

You chuckled, slightly parting to look at him.

"Yeah, we have to work on taming that green monster, doctor. Otherwise, Hotch won't be able to bring anyone new to the team," you pointed, leaning to kiss his lips. Spencer smiled into the kiss.

"That means you forgive me?" he asked hopefully. You narrowed your eyes.

"Yes. But you still have to make it up to me," you teased, faking seriousness.

Spencer nodded eagerly nonetheless. "Whatever it takes."

"You could start making something to eat. I'm starving here after two days with a hole in my stomach," you rubbed your belly for emphasis.

"Yes, ma'am," Spencer smiled, standing and strolling quickly to the kitchen. He felt so relieved after coming clean with you that he swore not to make the same mistake again. That green monster fed by his insecurities dissipating as he thought how lucky he was to love and have you in his life.

------------------

Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid angst #dr. spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x you #aperrywilliams #amanda perry williams

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long-live-astronerd-ghost-king · 7 months ago

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DPXDC prompt. Dead on main. Someone who knows you better than you know yourself.

Perhaps Fentons are not able to recognize their child, despite the fact that they hunt him day after day. But for childhood friends, who saw each other in absolutely ridiculous situations that parents are never allowed to know about, just one sneeze and a bored sigh is enough to realize that this weirdo fighting next to him is the same guy with whom you tasted soap and then stood looking at each other from different corners and giggling.

And so, the dialogue after the battle with the creatures of Infinite Realms, to which Constantine had to invite a potential ally not yet approved by the League:

Phantom: Well, mom always said you were bad news...But a crime lord, seriously? What happened to your plans to become a literature teacher? Red Hood: Hey! For Gotham, this is a very high-paying in-demand job. And I don't want to hear anything from Casper. At least I have my own business. What kind of part-time job do you have? Are you selling sheets to your buddies from this green goo? Phantom: This is ectoplasm. And they're not my friends, and anyway… Constantine: King Phantom, do you know Red Hood? Phantom: Do I know him? Ha! This street rat was Splinter of my beginnings until my family moved out of Gotham.

Red Hood: Wait, wait a minute. Phah...Holy shit. I thought I was the best example of what it means to be a disappointment to a family, but you beat me here. Oh, man, only you...The ghost king who is the son of the ghost hunters? Seriously? Hahah! I thought your rebellious phase ended the moment you told your father that you wanted to be an astronaut and not inherit the family business.

Danny*groans and covers his face with his hands*: My life is over.

Red Hood: Literally~ No, of course I always knew that your parents' disregard for safety in the laboratory would someday kill someone, but I didn't really expect this? Like, wow… Phantom: What makes you think it was an incident in the lab? I mean, there are so many possibilities around. It's ridiculous and…hah Red Hood: Dude, look me straight in the face and tell me I'm wrong if you dare. Phantom:…Fuck you, stupid bookworm. Red Hood: Stubborn nerd. Phantom: Red bucket! Red Hood: Pale toadstool! Nightwing: Um, can you guys please stop fighting? Red Hood: What are you talking about? This is how we always communicate. Phantom: Yeah! Well, in our defense, my sister always thought we both could use a therapist. Oh, man, he made me lose my train of thought. Where were we, J? Red Hood: Since when are you able to think? And I complimented your new hair and skin color. Phantom: Right, right… But, hey, not all of my parents' hypotheses really have a right to exist, and you know it! Hm, did I mention that you're built like a fridge and how does this leather jacket suit you? Red Hood: I believe not. And who's talking about your parents' work? You were an airhead when you were alive too to be honest. And as I see it, not much has changed. Why the hell are you still starting a fight with puns? Stop telling your opponent your position. This is terribly stupid! Phantom: Oh, please, these ghosts are definitely not a threat to me. What's wrong with having a little fun? The fact that you don't have weapons to handle something stronger than a blob ghost is your problem not mine, loser. But let's get back to our greetings. Red Hood: Sure. Then listen here…

~~~~~

Nightwing: Jay, why didn't you say right away that you knew Phantom? We've wasted so much time wondering if it's worth summoning him, and you just stood there and said nothing. Red Hood: Pfff…Because I didn't know that until today. He used to be human. And we haven't seen each other for a long time. So how was I to know that he would take such a ridiculous pseudonym? Nightwing: Then why the hell didn't you feel worried about teasing this creature? Red Hood: Why should I? It's just Danny.

~~~~

Tucker: Oh man, 84 murders, attempts to kill Joker and to much fights with Batman and Black Mask and… Danny: Yeah, yeah. It's all very interesting, but it's not what I asked you to find. Get to the point, Tucker. What I will wear to our dinner tonight depends on this. Tucker: Seriously? As far as I'm concerned, whether he's single or not is less important than all this shit. Aren't you afraid to show up at his house? Danny: I'm invited. And for that matter, I'm Amity Park's former public enemy number one. Which one of us should be worried, hah? So he's not dating anyone, right? Don't try to distract me. Tucker: Dude! Danny: Ugh, in my experience, when he acts like he's lost his mind, he usually has good reasons for it. And if not, given some of the events of my alternative future, I have no right to judge him, so…

#dpxdc #dpxdc prompts #dpxdc crossover #dpxdc prompt #dcxdp #dead on main #dead on main ship #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt

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genderqueerdykes · 6 months ago

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happy first day of pride month 2024; please remember this month to hold your fellow queers up as high as you can, and to let them speak as loud as they need to. we are watching violent spikes in transphobia and trans panic this year as more and more bills and laws are proposed to make it difficult or impossible for trans people to medically or socially transition in the United States. we are seeing an all time high in trans panic in general- i have witnessed it personally in my own city, people freaking out about even the slightest gender non conformity. gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual and other queer folks are fighting for their rights in places like Russia and Africa. queerphobia is at a peak right now

no more petty arguing about who has it better or worse- we are upholding the entire queer community this year. your brothers, sisters and siblings with identities you don't understand need space this year. boygirls, lesboys, gaybians, fagdykes, bisexual gays and lesbians, transmasc and male lesbians, transfem and female gays all need space. intersex people need space. all trans folks, trans women, trans men, non binary people, genderfluid people, bigender and multigender people, xenogender people, and people with the weirdest genders you've ever seen need a platform to speak. nonhuman queers, disabled queers, neurodivergent queers need space. people of color with cultural identities like two-spirit folk need space. bisexuals and pansexuals have to lift each other up high and scream for each others rights. aromantics, asexuals, agender people and other aspec folks need to be heard.

now more than ever we need to unite and make our community stronger than ever. we need each other right now. let's be here for each other. even if we don't fully understand one another, it doesn't matter. we're siblings, family, whatever you'd like to call it- we are part of the same beautiful rainbow and it's time to act like it. i appreciate every member of my queer family, let's take care of each other this Pride. we owe it to each other.

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chewnotchoke · 16 days ago

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like no one else can

ೃ࿐ boynextdoor as your situationship

this was fun to write,,i was wondering if i should make individual fics abt this...what do yall think? ^__^ feedbacks and comments are appreciated ! and also my ask is always open if u wnna chitty chat <3

warnings: fluff, intense pining, light angst, signs of red flags

wc per member: ~250-400

sungho

“i’m trying to understand what am i to you?”

𓍯 situationship with sungho would be filled with a lot of "almosts" that keep you guessing, excitement, and unexpected outcomes. he would have this easygoing, carefree attitude as if he truly enjoyed your time together, but he’s also hard to pin down. he would bring you as his ‘plus one’ to parties or events and he has once invited you to a family outing “as a friend”

𓍯 sungho likes to do actions that you couldn’t help but assign meanings to these little things. he would give you a bite of his food in between laughter and throw tiny comments such as “i thought about you the other day.” the way he laughs at your jokes, recalls small details you mention, and checks up on you in between classes makes you question if he does the same with other people. if you didn't witness him opening doors for people, helping classmates with their homework, and giving the same endearing smile to anyone in need, it would be quite easy to convince yourself that the things he did to you meant something.

𓍯 when you mention being cold, he casually throws his hoodie over your shoulders and says, "just give it back whenever." yet it stays with you for days and he doesn't bring it up either, as if sharing his hoodie has become a relationship between you two. but when you decide to give it back, your heart aches to see another girl wearing his hoodie.

𓍯 the combination of highs and unanswered questions would be thrilling, and his charm would entice you to return for more. but the question “what am i to you” hangs in the open air because then, if you really meant something to him, he wouldn’t have treated others the same way he did to you.

𓍯 was it mutual at some point? maybe, or maybe not.

riwoo

“i know it’s casual but i look for you in a room full of people”

𓍯 likes having alone time with you. plans a hang out with your friends to watch a movie but the truth is he didn't invite anyone else just so he could watch the movie and spend time alone together. at the end of the movie, you'd just be wiping off your lips because you spent the whole time making out.

𓍯 situationship with riwoo is almost like a secret. he knows how to pull you towards him, and the relationship has you on chokehold. most of the time, he makes moves that make you question the very foundation of your relationship. he acts like he likes you. but does he actually do?

𓍯 during a chill drinking celebration at your friends' house, both of you always find a reason to text each other even if you're literally in the same room. that one time when you were seated a little too far from him, he pulls out his phone, typing under the table making sure no one gets a peak of his message, he would send you, "you're too far from me :(" it seems as though the thread that binds you is stronger than everything else, and every communication feels like a secret that only the two of you know. you'd look up from your phone to give him a glance and he gives you a subtle look—the look that even when you try to look away, you could feel his eyes settled on you.

𓍯 his red flag would probably be saying things like, "would you be jealous if i went out with someone else?" or talking about his ex. but right when he gives you enough reasons that he's not good for you, he pulls the "what would it take for us to stop pretending this isn’t more than casual?" card.

jaehyun

“you say we’re just friends but why do you look at me like that when no one’s around?”

𓍯 when you clearly don’t look like you’re just friends but it’s becoming a running joke now–jaehyun responds without skipping a beat whenever someone arches an eyebrow and asks if there is more going on between you and him. he casually replies, “we’re just friends.” and each time you force a smile that falls short of your eyes, you nod along.

𓍯 jaehyun has this habit of leaning towards you whenever he laughs, sometimes his head falls on your shoulder for a moment which kinda makes you flinch during the first few times but now that you’re used to it, you let your heads touch each other when you laugh together.

𓍯 when he spots you alone leaning outside the glass door at a party, you feel his presence slowly approaching you and then he simply stands there in comforting silence, staring at you in that familiar way, without saying anything at first. when you told him that you get more comfortable attending parties because he’s around, he’d flash a smirk, and his eyes return to the expression he always gives you when no one else is there. jaehyun looks intensely at your face as if he’s searching for something–searching for a sign.

𓍯 you can’t resist yourself to ask him a question if he’s sure about it. “sure about what?” his tone is gentle, and the corner of his mouth twitches as if he clearly understands what you are saying. “sure that we’re just friends…” you replied. jaehyun pauses before responding. he just looks at you, his eyes darting to your lips and back to your eyes, a spark there that he tries to conceal but can't quite get rid of. he lets out a tense and nervous laugh. “yeah, we’re just friends.” but his words were laced with hesitation and uncertainty. and there you thought, maybe the look he gives you is enough, for now.

taesan

“you treat me like this because you know you're my weakness.”

𓍯 taesan knows how flustered you get when he touches you. during lunchtime with your other friends, you tried to ignore how he sat closer to you than usual. when your friends make a joke and others laugh along, you try so hard to focus but you just can’t seem to grasp the fact that his knees and yours were touching. then, his fingertips lightly touched your leg, so gentle at first that you nearly questioned whether it was an accident. however, taesan’s hand becomes steady and warm, and you can only sense his calm presence. you attempt to maintain a neutral appearance on the outside as your heart twitches and your mind attempts to process the unexpected sensation. his smile is as laid-back as ever, and he continues to laugh with the group as if this is nothing unusual.

𓍯 situationship with taesan can be a little frustrating. he likes to give you mixed signals. he’s mostly all about you most of the time and he holds eye contact like you’re the only person he could see. but then the next day, he barely acknowledges your presence. he’s quiet and doesn’t speak to you. but you know what’s bad for you? the fact that you'd fold immediately bcs he really just knows how to give you butterflies right when you think he’s not interested. taesan would come up behind you, whispering to your ear saying, “i missed you today.” and you would quickly fold like you didn't just question everything about him.

𓍯 at some point, the feelings were mutual. but you got tired of going around in circles waiting for nothing to happen, so you just decided to move on and bury your feelings just to keep the friendship.

leehan

“teach me how to not care about these feelings that keep me up at night for nothing.”

𓍯 you don’t talk everyday but that’s what makes everything thrilling. and when you do talk, texting usually lasts until 3am. although you can feel the weight of your eyelids by this time, you try to stay awake just to converse with him. conversations with leehan are almost raw, something about each message is intimate—one you probably wouldn’t hear in the daylight. the thought that he actually also stays up with you makes you wonder how much he’s also feeling.

𓍯 leehan has the subtlest way of making you laugh. he’s nonchalant but he’s the type to make you intrigued without fully committing. with that being said, he knows when to pull back when he thinks you’re getting a little too attached over a situationship even if he's the one responsible for making you feel that way

𓍯 after dates, goodbyes often linger in the air. both of you enjoyed too much to actually walk away and go back home. when he stands close enough to hug you, you could feel his hand linger on your back like he’s in no rush to go back home. both of you stood there quiet, glancing at each other, enough to decipher by the look of your eyes that there are still unsaid words. “i’ll text you when i get back home.” he holds both of your hands as they slightly brush away from yours whenever he takes a step back. you know yourself you want something more from this situationship which causes your heart to ache.

𓍯 leehan is still not letting go of your hand even at the point where your fingertips are only touching each other. “let’s do that next time.” he says and adds, “sleep over.”

𓍯 and when he actually gets back home, you don't receive a text from him at all, and talked again the following days like nothing happened.

woonhak

"why does it feel like we’re both waiting for the other to make the first move?"

𓍯 it’s painfully obvious that both of you like each other. neither of you just couldn’t bring yourself up to confess. there’s always this tension that hangs heavy in the air when you’re with him. you're lounging on his couch while watching a film. with his shoulder almost touching yours, he is closer than friends should be. the couch's modest size is a flimsy excuse, but you both know there's more to it. woonhak’s arm occasionally moves, grazing yours and giving you a shiver, but he doesn't pull away. both of you are dancing around that invisible line, on the brink. his hand is getting closer and closer till your fingers would touch if you both moved even a little.

𓍯 every time you're together, you experience this torturous pulling, waiting for the other to finally release the tension that has been building for weeks. his hand moves next to yours, his fingers flexing as though he wants to grab you but isn't quite brave enough. and you can't help but wonder whether you're both simply waiting for a sign, anything that would eventually allow one of you to cross that line.

𓍯 woonhak constantly teases you, looking for excuses to rub your hair or bump into your shoulder, and he enjoys seeing how you respond to his pranks. he says something, though, that takes you entirely by surprise just when you think it's all a friendly act.

𓍯 “i feel like we’re both good at being complicated.” he chuckles. you can sense that you're both still holding back and skirting the truth because you're afraid of altering something that feels so near-perfect. but when you meet his eyes, you can see that this isn't the end of it because of the little warmth that remains in his smile.

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alostwanderernotfound · 2 months ago

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HIV and COVID

A major barrier to preventing the spread of HIV is accurate test results.

There is a high chance there are many people with HIV that have it and do not know. We do not know how long this undetected time period is (lentiviruses are often associated with long periods of time of virus activity that goes undetected- 5 to 10 years or more), but there is a chance many individuals with HIV go undiagnosed for many years. Individuals during this time before an HIV diagnosis complain of fatigue and many undiagnosed disabling symptoms during that time period. HIV is able to cause changes to immune cells that prevent HIV tests from finding the infection. Some people get negative HIV tests when they are HIV positive. This means you could be HIV negative, but still have HIV in your blood and can spread HIV to other individuals.

Getting a COVID vaccination (and sometimes other vaccinations like the flu vaccination) can help the body identify HIV hiding in the body. This allows earlier treatment and intervention. Once HIV has been identified, it also reduces the risk for all individuals in our population to be exposed to more severe infections.

Getting tested regularly for HIV used to be part of our federal public health recommendations.

This just further emphasizes why this information is so important to know and healthcare needs to start testing for more diseases in more people and do these tests more often.

People often assume their infection came from an unfaithful partner, but in reality HIV has been spreading unknowingly to many in the medical community and still in the public sphere no one is talking about it like the huge deal it is.

This potential means people could be raped as a child, never have sex again, never encounter drugs, and then be miserable & living with an active HIV infection into their early 20s and they would never know. Once they got a positive test result they would have no idea where the infection even came from.

Our entire understanding of these types of diseases has to change and the seriousness of this topic has to be addressed by the world. This was theorized as a mechanism of HIV spread due to how many people were getting diagnosed but had no identifiable cause of their HIV, but now it’s proven and right in front of us. This is disastrous.

To everyone that told the truth about how they didn’t know how they got these types of diseases & how they had no idea where they got it from then faced judgement from others and even the medical community- you aren’t crazy.

On behalf of everything these types of diseases did to destroy families, relationships, and your body, I’m going to apologize right now for all the individuals that I know won’t ever give you an apology for what they did and what they said.

I believe you. I always did.

Without you telling your truth , we never would have been able to figure this out about HIV.

HIV is spreading in “HIV negative” individuals to other individuals as some researchers theorized.

The mRNA vaccination technology developed is now the foundation for the next generation of HIV treatment and disease control. We must continue to push and advocate for improving the lives of all people with disease and we all just took a huge step forward.

You do not have to be sexually active to develop HIV. Your sexual trauma doesn’t have to define your life for the rest of your life- you are stronger than you know and braver than you feel.

Find a place to get tested for HIV here:

I still recommend getting a NAT or “viral load” test done as the first test to see if you have HIV.

I think considering what we know about HIV and in consideration of all the things we still don’t know that this is the safest option. Any other test for this condition available today has too high of a chance of producing a wrong result. I find it extremely uncomfortable we still use the other types of tests in the hospital and doctor office settings.

If you choose to order a test through an online service be aware some tests only tell you about either HIV-1 or HIV-2 and will not always provide you information related to type 1 and type 2.

For example, here:

This will provide you information related to ordering a test that looks for both types of HIV instead of just one strain of HIV.

Stay safe.

#hiv #virus #sick #chronically ill #chronic pain #chronic illness #chronic fatigue #pain #doctor #medicine #viral

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esotericalchemist · 2 months ago

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𝐒𝐮𝐧 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐧 - 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 •°❀

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The Sun sign in astrology reveals the heart of your being, representing your soul's journey toward fulfilling its higher purpose. It shines light on your core essence, the inner vitality that fuels your ambitions, creativity, and self-expression. Beyond its connection to identity, the Sun reflects your deepest desires and the path you are meant to take to grow and evolve. It guides you through life’s trials, illuminating the lessons you are here to learn and the ways you can radiate your unique brilliance into the world. Understanding your Sun sign allows you to uncover your spiritual mission, aligning your personal will with the cosmic forces that shape your destiny.

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Aries isn't just about ambition or leadership—it's about initiation and the soul’s need to express its true nature. Aries is where the Sun is exalted, which means it’s in its most powerful state. This placement brings the energy of dynamism and an unyielding drive toward self-expression. But the deeper meaning here is not just about being assertive; it's about discovering your divine mission and stepping into your karmic role without hesitation. In Aries, you are tasked with forging your path as a warrior of the soul, shedding layers of inauthenticity and embracing your primal, unrefined willpower. This is the place where you learn to be unapologetically you, breaking through fears of inadequacy and embracing the raw power of your self-expression.

Through the Houses:

First House: You embody the pure essence of Aries. The fire of the Sun pushes you to develop a strong sense of identity. It's about defining who you are, independent of external influences. Leadership isn't just a skill; it's your inherent nature. The lesson here is to embrace your individuality without over-identifying with ego.

Second House: Your drive for self-worth and material security is strong, but the deeper lesson is to find inner value beyond possessions. This placement pushes you to understand that your resources are a reflection of your inner strength. Material growth comes when you align with your soul's purpose.

Third House: Communication becomes a battlefield. You push boundaries in how you speak, learn, and share knowledge. Your words carry authority, and your thoughts are pioneering. You’re not just here to exchange ideas, but to lead conversations that matter, reshaping the narrative of your life.

Fourth House: The Sun in Aries here shines a light on your ancestral karma and home life. The challenge is to break free from old family patterns that inhibit your growth. You are meant to create a home that reflects your unique vision, rather than conforming to tradition. It’s about owning your emotional independence.

Fifth House: This placement makes you a pioneer in creative expression and romance. Your creativity is bold and unrestrained, often ahead of its time. You're called to embrace your inner child and take risks in artistic endeavors, breaking societal norms in how you express love, joy, and pleasure.

Sixth House: You are a relentless worker, but the deeper lesson here is to balance your fiery drive with self-care. This placement teaches you that overwork without purpose drains vitality. Your true challenge is to find meaningful work that aligns with your karmic duty, not just physical survival.

Seventh House: Relationships become a mirror for your personal growth. The Sun in Aries pushes you to assert yourself, but also to learn compromise and collaboration. You may dominate your partnerships, but the higher lesson is to cultivate equal relationships where both partners can express their individuality.

Eighth House: Transformation is your life theme here. You are constantly reborn, often through crises or deep, personal change. The Sun in Aries in this house wants you to face your fears and emerge stronger. You are meant to become a spiritual warrior, unafraid to dive into the unknown to find your true power.

Ninth House: You are a trailblazer in philosophy, religion, and higher knowledge. The Sun here makes you question traditional beliefs and carve out your own spiritual or philosophical path. The deeper lesson is to lead others toward truth by first discovering it for yourself. You may challenge orthodox teachings and create new ways of thinking.

Tenth House: Career becomes a stage for your personal mission. The Sun in Aries pushes you to the forefront of your professional life, making you a leader or a trailblazer in your field. But it’s not just about success—this placement calls for you to make a lasting impact on the world, using your career as a vehicle for your soul’s purpose.

Eleventh House: The Sun in Aries makes you a leader within your social groups or communities. Your individuality shines through your friendships and collective endeavors. You may feel the urge to revolutionize group dynamics or societal structures. The higher lesson here is to use your influence for the collective good, without losing your sense of self.

Twelfth House: Here, the Sun in Aries guides you through the subconscious realm. It’s a spiritual warrior placement, where you must face hidden fears, dissolve the ego, and engage in deep soul work. Your true power comes when you learn to surrender control and let your spiritual self lead the way. The lesson is about finding strength in vulnerability and transformation.

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Taurus is about grounding and solidifying the energy that Aries initiated. Taurus is a fixed earth sign, ruled by Venus, and when the Sun is placed here, its fiery energy is tempered by the desire for stability, security, and material comfort. However, at a deeper level, the Sun in Taurus is about finding self-worth beyond physical possessions. It’s a journey of learning to cultivate inner peace, resilience, and an appreciation for the beauty and value of life itself. Taurus is often misunderstood as merely a sign focused on indulgence, but the Sun here is about mastering the art of building a life of quality—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It represents the quest for long-term fulfillment and sustainability.

Through the Houses:

First House: The Sun in Taurus makes you exude a calm, grounded presence. You seek stability in life and tend to build a strong sense of self through physical or material accomplishments. The deeper lesson here is learning that your identity isn’t just about what you own or how you appear but stems from inner security and self-worth.

Second House: Your sense of value and security is closely tied to material wealth and possessions. The Sun here amplifies your need for financial security, but it also challenges you to find value in non-material things—like self-love and inner peace. You must learn that true wealth is internal.

Third House: You are a steady and persistent communicator. You prefer to take a practical and methodical approach to learning and sharing knowledge. The deeper calling of the Sun here is to express your thoughts with both clarity and creativity, balancing practicality with an appreciation for beauty in words.

Fourth House: Your sense of emotional security is linked to a stable home environment. You seek to create a sanctuary where you feel safe and grounded. However, the Sun in Taurus in this house challenges you to cultivate emotional stability from within, rather than relying solely on external factors like family or property.

Fifth House: Creativity and pleasure are approached in a sensual, steady way. You find joy in indulging in life’s simple pleasures, and your creative endeavors often reflect beauty and harmony. The Sun here pushes you to explore the deeper value in your creative expression—are you creating for enjoyment, or are you channeling your higher self through your art?

Sixth House: You have a strong work ethic and are diligent in your daily routines. The Sun in Taurus here highlights your need for stability in health and work life. The deeper lesson is about finding balance between work and self-care, ensuring that your routines are nurturing and sustainable, not just a means to an end.

Seventh House: Relationships for you are about security and stability. You seek partnerships that provide a sense of grounding. However, the Sun here asks you to ensure that your need for comfort doesn’t lead to possessiveness or stagnation in relationships. The lesson is to find harmony between comfort and growth.

Eighth House: You are deeply tied to the material world, even in matters of transformation and loss. The Sun in Taurus here forces you to face issues of control and security, particularly around shared resources or intimacy. The challenge is to embrace change without clinging to material or emotional safety nets.

Ninth House: Your approach to spirituality and higher learning is rooted in practical wisdom. You seek truth in tangible experiences rather than abstract philosophies. The Sun here challenges you to broaden your horizons and find a deeper, more expansive meaning in life that transcends material reality.

Tenth House: You strive for success and recognition in a steady, persistent manner. The Sun in Taurus here makes you a reliable and determined leader, but the deeper lesson is to ensure that your career aligns with your inner values. True success comes when your professional life is a reflection of your personal worth.

Eleventh House: Your social circles and long-term goals are focused on building stability and security. The Sun in Taurus here calls you to bring beauty and practicality to your community and social causes. However, it also challenges you to not limit your dreams to the material world—there is a higher purpose to be found in your connections.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Taurus in the twelfth house draws you into the realm of subconscious desires for comfort and stability. You may have a hidden yearning for peace and security, but the Sun here teaches you to let go of attachments and find inner stability through spiritual surrender. The lesson is about releasing the need for control and finding serenity within.

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Gemini is about intellectual curiosity and versatility. Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication, intellect, and adaptability. When the Sun is placed here, its energy manifests through a need to express, learn, and connect. However, the deeper meaning of the Sun in Gemini goes beyond just being a social butterfly or a quick thinker. It represents the journey of understanding duality—balancing opposites, integrating knowledge from different sources, and using mental agility to make sense of the world. The Sun in Gemini pushes you to explore life’s complexities while seeking out the truth in the midst of diversity. It’s a placement that challenges you to connect the dots between seemingly unrelated ideas, becoming a channel for higher wisdom through your sharp intellect.

Through the Houses:

First House: You are the embodiment of mental agility and quick wit. Your identity is tied to your ability to communicate and adapt to your environment. The deeper lesson is to not scatter your energy in too many directions but to use your intellect with focus and intention, becoming a master of communication.

Second House: Your approach to financial security is highly mental. You may generate income through communication, writing, or intellectual pursuits. The Sun here teaches you that true value lies in knowledge and ideas, not just material wealth. You are called to recognize your intellectual assets as a source of self-worth.

Third House: This is the natural placement for Gemini, amplifying your curiosity and need for connection. You thrive in environments where you can exchange ideas and gather information. The deeper lesson is to cultivate depth in your interactions—don’t just skim the surface; explore topics with more focus and intention.

Fourth House: Your home life may be intellectualized, with a focus on mental stimulation within the family. The Sun in Gemini here challenges you to create emotional security not just through conversation but through understanding the emotional needs of yourself and others. The goal is to bridge the mind and the heart.

Fifth House: Your creativity is channeled through intellectual pursuits, whether through writing, teaching, or other forms of communication. The Sun in Gemini in this house urges you to infuse playfulness into your creative expressions but also challenges you to find meaning and purpose in your creative endeavors.

Sixth House: You bring versatility and adaptability to your work and daily routines. The Sun here makes you a problem solver, someone who can juggle multiple tasks. The deeper lesson is about using your intellect for service—how can you contribute your knowledge and skills to help others or improve your environment?

Seventh House: In relationships, you seek mental stimulation and communication. You are drawn to partners who engage your mind. The Sun in Gemini here challenges you to balance intellectual connection with emotional intimacy, ensuring that relationships aren’t just about conversation but also deeper understanding.

Eighth House: You approach transformation and the unknown with curiosity. You may intellectualize emotional or taboo topics, using your mind to explore hidden truths. The Sun in this house calls you to dive deeper into psychological and spiritual realms, using your intellect as a tool for profound inner growth.

Ninth House: Your quest for higher knowledge is diverse and eclectic. You are drawn to many different philosophies, and the Sun here urges you to integrate these ideas into a cohesive worldview. The deeper lesson is to find your own truth within the multitude of perspectives you encounter.

Tenth House: Your career may involve communication, teaching, or intellectual work. The Sun in Gemini here makes you a versatile and adaptable leader, but the deeper lesson is to find a path that aligns with your soul’s higher purpose, not just your intellectual curiosity. True success comes from a balance of mind and heart.

Eleventh House: Your social connections are based on shared ideas and intellectual pursuits. The Sun here makes you a networker, someone who thrives in groups where knowledge is exchanged. The challenge is to bring meaningful change to your social circles or communities by using your intellect for the greater good.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Gemini in the twelfth house guides you to explore the subconscious mind and hidden realms of thought. You are called to use your intellect to uncover hidden truths and spiritual wisdom. The deeper lesson is to surrender the ego and find clarity in the silence of the mind, bridging intellect with intuition.

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Cancer represents a deep emotional intelligence and a strong connection to the nurturing qualities of the self. Cancer is ruled by the Moon, and when the Sun is placed here, it brings forth an energy of protection, care, and emotional depth. However, the deeper significance of the Sun in Cancer goes beyond just being emotional or sensitive—it is about understanding the sacred role of emotions in life’s journey and how they fuel your sense of purpose. This placement highlights the soul's need to connect with its roots, its emotional foundation, and to foster a sense of inner security. The Sun in Cancer often pushes you to explore the balance between caring for others and protecting your own inner world, teaching you that true strength comes from emotional resilience and a deep connection to your heart's desires.

Through the Houses:

First House: You project an emotionally grounded and nurturing persona. The Sun in Cancer here makes you deeply sensitive to your environment, but the deeper lesson is to protect your energy and build emotional boundaries that allow you to flourish without absorbing too much from others.

Second House: Your sense of security is rooted in emotional stability, and you may seek financial security through nurturing professions or caregiving. The Sun here challenges you to understand that wealth is not just about material resources but also about emotional fulfillment and building a strong foundation for the soul.

Third House: Communication is colored by emotion, and you have a natural ability to connect with others on an empathetic level. The Sun in Cancer here pushes you to speak from the heart, but it also encourages you to learn how to manage your emotions when engaging in dialogue. You are called to balance intuition with logic in your speech.

Fourth House: This is the most natural house for the Sun in Cancer, as it highlights your deep connection to home, family, and roots. The deeper lesson here is to find emotional security within yourself, rather than depending on external environments or family dynamics. You are meant to create a sanctuary of inner peace.

Fifth House: Your creativity and self-expression are deeply emotional, and you find joy in nurturing others or engaging in artistic endeavors that come from the heart. The Sun here teaches you to embrace your inner child and express your emotions freely, using creativity as a way to heal and connect with others.

Sixth House: You approach work and service with emotional dedication, often taking on roles where you can care for others or offer support. The deeper lesson here is about balancing your emotional energy with self-care, ensuring that you do not deplete yourself while trying to nurture others in your daily routines.

Seventh House: Relationships become the focus of your emotional energy, and you are deeply invested in partnerships that provide emotional security. The Sun in Cancer here challenges you to ensure that your relationships are balanced, teaching you to nurture others while also receiving care and emotional support in return.

Eighth House: You are emotionally drawn to transformation and the mysteries of life. The Sun in Cancer in this house highlights your need for emotional intimacy and depth in shared resources or spiritual pursuits. The challenge is to learn emotional detachment when necessary, embracing change as a form of emotional growth.

Ninth House: Your search for higher knowledge and spirituality is deeply emotional, and you may be drawn to spiritual paths that emphasize nurturing or protection. The Sun here pushes you to expand your emotional awareness through philosophical or spiritual teachings, finding emotional fulfillment in your quest for truth.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are driven by a need to care for or nurture others. The Sun in Cancer here may push you toward roles where you can emotionally connect with the world. The deeper lesson is to ensure that your career aligns with your emotional needs, finding purpose in your professional life by nurturing both yourself and others.

Eleventh House: You are emotionally connected to your social circles and long-term goals, seeking groups that provide a sense of family or emotional security. The Sun in Cancer here challenges you to nurture your friendships while also pursuing your personal dreams, balancing emotional fulfillment with collective growth.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Cancer in the twelfth house draws you into the realm of the subconscious and hidden emotions. You may be highly attuned to the emotional undercurrents of life, and the Sun here challenges you to release emotional attachments that no longer serve you. The deeper lesson is about finding emotional freedom through spiritual surrender.

𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Leo is a powerful placement as the Sun rules Leo, making this position one of the most natural expressions of solar energy. Leo is the sign of leadership, creativity, and self-expression, but the deeper meaning of the Sun in Leo is about embodying your divine purpose with authenticity and grace. The Sun in Leo isn't just about seeking attention or fame; it's about stepping into your role as a creator, someone who shines their inner light unapologetically, inspiring others through personal example. It is a karmic call to own your personal power, but with the wisdom that true leadership comes from the heart, not from ego-driven motives. The Sun in Leo teaches you that your greatest power comes from knowing yourself and sharing your gifts generously with the world.

Through the Houses:

First House: You radiate confidence and have a natural magnetism that draws others to you. The Sun in Leo in the first house challenges you to be a leader by example, to step into your authentic self without arrogance. You are called to develop self-awareness and embody the light of your higher self.

Second House: You find value and security in your self-worth, often seeking to express your personal power through material or financial success. The Sun in Leo here teaches you to recognize that true wealth comes from within, and your greatest asset is your ability to shine your light in ways that bring lasting value.

Third House: Communication and learning are avenues where you can express your creativity and leadership. You have a natural flair for speaking or teaching, but the deeper lesson here is to ensure that your voice uplifts and inspires, rather than dominating conversations. You are meant to communicate with heart.

Fourth House: Your sense of emotional security is tied to being recognized and appreciated in your home or family life. The Sun in Leo here asks you to create a warm and loving environment where your inner light can flourish. The lesson is to shine your light without seeking validation, finding emotional security from within.

Fifth House: This is a natural placement for the Sun, enhancing your creative abilities and self-expression. You are called to lead through your artistic talents, romantic endeavors, or relationship with children. The deeper lesson is to cultivate joy and passion, not for external approval, but for the pure joy of creation.

Sixth House: Your approach to work and service is filled with pride and dedication. The Sun in Leo here challenges you to balance your need for recognition with humility, ensuring that your work serves a higher purpose. You are called to lead through example, bringing your heart into your daily routines and service to others.

Seventh House: Relationships are a stage for your self-expression, and you seek partners who reflect your creative or leadership qualities. The Sun in Leo in this house teaches you to balance your needs for recognition with the needs of your partner, creating a dynamic where both individuals shine together, rather than competing for the spotlight.

Eighth House: You have a powerful presence when it comes to transformation and shared resources. The Sun in Leo here pushes you to embrace personal power in matters of intimacy, spirituality, and deep emotional connections. The lesson is to use your transformative power wisely, ensuring that it is aligned with your higher self, rather than ego.

Ninth House: Your search for higher knowledge and truth is expressed through leadership and creative exploration. The Sun in Leo in the ninth house urges you to lead in philosophical, spiritual, or academic matters. The deeper calling is to inspire others through your journey, sharing your insights in a way that uplifts and enlightens.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are places where your leadership shines brightest. The Sun in Leo in the tenth house makes you a natural authority figure, but the deeper lesson is to ensure that your success is aligned with your soul's purpose. You are called to be a leader who inspires through genuine integrity and heart-centered ambition.

Eleventh House: You are a leader within your social circles or community, often playing a central role in group endeavors. The Sun in Leo here asks you to use your influence to uplift the collective, ensuring that your personal goals align with the greater good. The lesson is to shine brightly without overshadowing the contributions of others.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Leo in the twelfth house draws your creative energy into the spiritual and subconscious realms. You are called to express your inner light in subtle or hidden ways, often working behind the scenes. The deeper lesson is about finding your true self through spiritual surrender, shining brightly even in solitude or silence.

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Virgo brings a focus on precision, service, and mastery of detail. Virgo is ruled by Mercury, the planet of intellect, but the deeper significance of the Sun in Virgo lies in its need for refinement and perfection. This placement isn’t just about being analytical or critical; it’s about learning to align your actions with a higher purpose through meticulous care and dedication. The Sun in Virgo asks you to develop discernment and serve with humility, but it also challenges you to recognize the value of imperfection. It’s a call to use your sharp mind and detailed approach to improve systems, whether internal or external, in a way that honors the divine order of the universe. In essence, the Sun in Virgo is about integrating spiritual awareness into the mundane, finding the sacred in the everyday.

Through the Houses:

First House: You approach life with a sense of duty and a desire to improve yourself and your environment. The Sun in Virgo in the first house makes you highly self-aware and critical, but the deeper lesson is to use this energy for self-improvement rather than self-judgment. You are called to embody humility and service in your personal expression.

Second House: You bring a practical and analytical approach to finances and self-worth. The Sun here challenges you to recognize that your true value lies not just in what you possess but in your ability to serve others and improve systems. Your lesson is to find security through competence and purpose, not just material wealth.

Third House: Communication and learning are approached with precision and attention to detail. The Sun in Virgo in this house asks you to use your intellect to solve problems and refine your ideas. The deeper calling is to use your words to heal or improve the lives of others, combining knowledge with compassion.

Fourth House: Your emotional foundation is rooted in a desire for order and stability at home. The Sun in Virgo here pushes you to create a nurturing environment that promotes health and well-being. The lesson is to avoid perfectionism in your personal life, instead focusing on cultivating emotional security through small, meaningful improvements.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are approached with a meticulous eye for detail. The Sun in Virgo in this house challenges you to take pride in your creative work but also to let go of the need for perfection. You are called to embrace joy in the process of creation rather than focusing solely on the outcome.

Sixth House: This is a natural placement for the Sun in Virgo, emphasizing service, health, and daily routines. You are driven to improve yourself and others through work or health-related activities. The deeper lesson is to balance service with self-care, ensuring that you are not sacrificing your well-being for the sake of perfection.

Seventh House: Relationships for you are about service and mutual improvement. The Sun in Virgo here challenges you to offer support and care to your partner without becoming overly critical or nitpicky. The deeper calling is to create harmonious relationships that are based on mutual growth and understanding, with a focus on refinement, not criticism.

Eighth House: You approach transformation and shared resources with an analytical and practical mindset. The Sun in Virgo in the eighth house asks you to be discerning in matters of intimacy and trust, but the deeper lesson is to surrender control and trust the process of transformation, using your intellect to navigate life’s mysteries.

Ninth House: Your pursuit of higher knowledge and spirituality is grounded in practical wisdom. The Sun in Virgo here encourages you to study philosophy or spirituality with an analytical eye, but it also challenges you to integrate what you learn into your daily life. The deeper lesson is to find divine order in both grand and mundane aspects of life.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are driven by a desire for excellence and service. The Sun in Virgo in this house makes you a diligent and responsible leader, but the deeper challenge is to ensure that your pursuit of perfection does not lead to burnout. You are called to lead by example, improving systems for the greater good without becoming overly self-critical.

Eleventh House: Your social circles and long-term goals are approached with a desire for improvement and practicality. The Sun in Virgo here asks you to refine your social impact, focusing on causes that benefit others. The deeper lesson is to avoid over-analyzing group dynamics and instead focus on how you can contribute meaningfully to collective goals.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Virgo in the twelfth house draws your attention to the need for inner purification and spiritual service. You may feel a strong urge to improve yourself on a subconscious level, but the deeper lesson is about letting go of perfectionism and embracing the imperfections of the soul. Your calling is to serve through humility and spiritual dedication, recognizing the divine in the smallest details of life.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Libra is in its debilitation, meaning it is in a sign where it struggles to express its natural energy. Libra, ruled by Venus, is about balance, harmony, and relationships, whereas the Sun represents individuality, ego, and personal power. The deeper significance of the Sun in Libra lies in the journey of learning to balance personal will with the needs and desires of others. This placement is not just about compromise or diplomacy—it’s about understanding the dance between self and other, and how true power is found through collaboration, fairness, and mutual respect. The Sun in Libra challenges you to cultivate your individuality without overshadowing others, teaching you the importance of shared success and the value of harmonious relationships.

Through the Houses:

First House: You are naturally diplomatic and focused on creating harmony in your surroundings. However, the Sun in Libra in the first house challenges you to develop a stronger sense of self while maintaining your desire for balance. The deeper lesson is to find inner equilibrium between your personal identity and your role in relationships.

Second House: Your approach to wealth and security is linked to partnerships and fairness. The Sun in Libra here asks you to balance personal gain with ethical and fair practices. The deeper calling is to understand that true value lies not only in material wealth but also in the quality of your relationships and how you treat others.

Third House: Communication for you is focused on fairness and diplomacy. The Sun in Libra in this house challenges you to assert your voice without losing sight of harmony. The lesson is to learn how to speak your truth while fostering mutual understanding, making sure your intellectual pursuits benefit both yourself and those around you.

Fourth House: You seek emotional security through balance and fairness in your home life. The Sun in Libra here urges you to create a peaceful and harmonious family environment, but the deeper lesson is to ensure that your emotional needs are not sacrificed in the pursuit of external harmony. Finding balance between giving and receiving is key.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are linked to beauty, balance, and refinement. The Sun in Libra in this house calls you to express yourself in ways that inspire harmony and peace. The deeper challenge is to embrace your individuality in your creative endeavors without overly relying on the approval of others.

Sixth House: Your approach to work and service is grounded in a desire to create harmony and fairness in your environment. The Sun in Libra here challenges you to maintain balance in your work relationships and daily routines, ensuring that you are not overextending yourself in the name of harmony. The deeper lesson is to serve in a way that honors both yourself and others.

Seventh House: This is a natural placement for the Sun in Libra, emphasizing the importance of partnerships. You are deeply invested in creating balanced and harmonious relationships, but the challenge is to avoid losing yourself in the process. The lesson is to find equal partnerships where both individuals can shine, rather than sacrificing your individuality for the sake of peace.

Eighth House: You approach transformation and shared resources with a focus on balance and fairness. The Sun in Libra in this house urges you to navigate deep emotional or financial matters with diplomacy and grace. The deeper lesson is to learn how to assert your own needs and boundaries while maintaining harmony in these intense areas of life.

Ninth House: Your search for higher knowledge and truth is guided by principles of fairness and justice. The Sun in Libra here calls you to explore philosophies and belief systems that emphasize balance and harmony. The deeper challenge is to remain true to your personal beliefs while respecting the perspectives of others, finding common ground in your spiritual journey.

Tenth House: In your career and public life, you strive to create balance and fairness. The Sun in Libra in the tenth house makes you a natural diplomat or mediator in professional settings, but the deeper lesson is to assert your leadership in a way that honors both your individual goals and the collective good. True success comes from fostering cooperation and mutual respect.

Eleventh House: Your social circles and long-term goals are centered around creating harmony within groups. The Sun in Libra here challenges you to take a leadership role in social causes or communities, promoting fairness and equality. The deeper lesson is to ensure that your personal aspirations align with the greater good, finding a balance between self-interest and collective progress.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Libra in the twelfth house draws your focus inward, emphasizing the need to balance your inner world. You may feel a strong urge to create peace and harmony within yourself, but the deeper lesson is about releasing attachments to external validation. This placement encourages you to find balance through spiritual surrender, letting go of the need for approval and finding harmony within.

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Scorpio brings intensity, depth, and transformation. Scorpio is ruled by Mars and Ketu (as well as Pluto in modern Astrology), and when the Sun is placed here, its fiery energy is channeled into the mysterious, hidden, and transformational aspects of life. The deeper significance of the Sun in Scorpio lies in its ability to face the darkness within, using challenges and crises as tools for personal and spiritual growth. This is a placement that demands inner strength, emotional resilience, and the courage to embrace the unknown. The Sun in Scorpio pushes you to go beyond superficiality, compelling you to dive deep into the core of your being, where true power lies. It’s a journey of self-discovery and empowerment through transformation and shedding old layers of identity.

Through the Houses:

First House: You exude intensity and magnetic presence. The Sun in Scorpio in the first house makes you fiercely self-aware, with a powerful need to understand yourself and your deeper motivations. The lesson here is to balance your desire for control with the need for personal transformation, using your intense willpower for self-mastery rather than domination.

Second House: Your approach to security and wealth is rooted in emotional and psychological depth. The Sun in Scorpio here challenges you to transform your relationship with material resources, recognizing that true worth comes from within. The deeper calling is to release attachments to possessions and instead cultivate inner value and resilience.

Third House: Communication for you is intense and profound. The Sun in Scorpio in this house urges you to explore hidden truths and express yourself with emotional depth. The deeper lesson is to learn how to channel your intensity in a constructive way, using your words to empower others and uncover the truth, without becoming overly secretive or manipulative.

Fourth House: Your emotional security is tied to transformation and deep psychological insight. The Sun in Scorpio here challenges you to confront old family patterns or emotional wounds. The deeper lesson is to create a foundation of inner strength, where emotional depth is a source of power rather than vulnerability.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are intense and transformative. The Sun in Scorpio in this house calls you to express your passion through creative endeavors or romantic pursuits that challenge you to grow and evolve. The deeper challenge is to embrace vulnerability in your self-expression, allowing your inner power to shine through without fear.

Sixth House: You approach work and service with intensity and determination. The Sun in Scorpio in the sixth house challenges you to transform your daily routines and health habits, using discipline and willpower. The deeper lesson is to serve others in a way that is both empowering and transformative, ensuring that your efforts lead to growth and healing.

Seventh House: Relationships are deeply transformative for you. The Sun in Scorpio in this house makes you seek intense emotional connections, but the challenge is to balance power dynamics within partnerships. The deeper calling is to engage in relationships that foster mutual growth and transformation, where both individuals are empowered rather than controlled.

Eighth House: This is a natural placement for the Sun, amplifying your connection to transformation, shared resources, and deep psychological insight. The Sun in Scorpio here challenges you to embrace change and personal transformation, using crises or challenges as catalysts for growth. The lesson is to find empowerment through surrender, accepting the cycles of death and rebirth in life.

Ninth House: Your search for higher knowledge and spirituality is marked by intensity and a desire for deep transformation. The Sun in Scorpio here pushes you to explore esoteric or hidden wisdom, seeking truth beyond the surface. The deeper challenge is to integrate this knowledge into your life in a way that fosters personal evolution and spiritual empowerment.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are marked by a need for control, power, and transformation. The Sun in Scorpio in the tenth house challenges you to find a career path that allows you to harness your intensity and emotional depth. The lesson here is to lead through personal transformation, inspiring others through your ability to face challenges and rise stronger.

Eleventh House: You seek intense and transformative connections within your social circles. The Sun in Scorpio here challenges you to lead groups or communities through times of change or crisis, using your emotional insight to guide others. The deeper lesson is to ensure that your long-term goals align with your need for personal transformation and collective growth.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Scorpio in the twelfth house draws your attention to the subconscious, spiritual transformation, and hidden aspects of life. You are called to explore the depths of your inner world, facing fears and psychological shadows. The deeper lesson is to embrace spiritual surrender, allowing yourself to undergo profound transformation on a soul level, finding power in letting go.

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Sagittarius represents the quest for higher knowledge, truth, and spiritual exploration. Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, the planet of wisdom and expansion, and when the Sun is placed here, it brings a thirst for adventure, philosophical insight, and meaning. The deeper significance of the Sun in Sagittarius is about embracing the journey of life as a path to enlightenment. It’s not just about seeking truth for the sake of knowledge but using that truth to grow spiritually and to uplift others. The Sun in Sagittarius urges you to live with a sense of purpose, finding freedom through wisdom and the courage to pursue your ideals. It is a call to align your actions with your higher principles, expanding not only your mind but your soul.

Through the Houses:

First House: You embody the spirit of adventure and philosophical inquiry. The Sun in Sagittarius in the first house challenges you to lead with wisdom and optimism, inspiring others through your pursuit of truth. The deeper lesson is to embrace life as a journey, using your personal experiences as opportunities for spiritual growth and self-discovery.

Second House: Your approach to wealth and security is influenced by your higher ideals and philosophical values. The Sun in Sagittarius here challenges you to see material resources as a tool for expanding your understanding of the world. The deeper lesson is to cultivate a sense of inner abundance, recognizing that true wealth lies in your wisdom and integrity.

Third House: Communication and learning are driven by a thirst for knowledge and a desire to share your insights with others. The Sun in Sagittarius in this house pushes you to explore different perspectives and expand your intellectual horizons. The lesson is to use your words and ideas to inspire others, sharing wisdom that uplifts and enlightens.

Fourth House: Your emotional foundation is rooted in a sense of freedom and higher purpose. The Sun in Sagittarius here challenges you to create a home environment that supports your spiritual growth and exploration. The deeper lesson is to balance your need for adventure with the importance of emotional security, finding home within yourself.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are deeply linked to your pursuit of truth and spiritual ideals. The Sun in Sagittarius in this house urges you to express yourself through teaching, art, or creative endeavors that reflect your philosophical insights. The deeper calling is to share your joy and wisdom with others, inspiring them to seek higher meaning in life.

Sixth House: You approach work and service with a sense of purpose and dedication to a higher ideal. The Sun in Sagittarius in the sixth house challenges you to find meaning in your daily routines, using your work as a vehicle for spiritual and personal growth. The deeper lesson is to align your service with your higher principles, ensuring that your efforts contribute to the greater good.

Seventh House: Relationships are a source of growth and expansion for you. The Sun in Sagittarius here calls you to seek partnerships that support your intellectual and spiritual journey. The challenge is to maintain your sense of freedom and individuality while fostering meaningful connections. The deeper lesson is to create relationships based on shared ideals and mutual growth.

Eighth House: You are drawn to the mysteries of life and transformation, approaching these themes with a philosophical mindset. The Sun in Sagittarius in this house challenges you to explore the deeper truths behind life, death, and rebirth. The lesson is to use transformation as a tool for spiritual growth, seeking wisdom through life’s profound changes.

Ninth House: This is a natural placement for the Sun, amplifying your connection to higher knowledge, spirituality, and truth-seeking. The Sun in Sagittarius in the ninth house makes you a natural teacher, philosopher, or spiritual guide. The deeper calling is to share your wisdom with others, using your insights to inspire and uplift those around you.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are driven by a desire to make a meaningful impact on the world. The Sun in Sagittarius in the tenth house challenges you to align your professional path with your higher ideals, seeking success through contribution to a greater cause. The lesson is to lead with integrity, using your career as a platform for spreading wisdom and positivity.

Eleventh House: Your social circles and long-term goals are influenced by your ideals and desire for expansion. The Sun in Sagittarius here urges you to contribute to causes that promote growth, wisdom, and spiritual enlightenment within the collective. The deeper lesson is to align your personal aspirations with the greater good, ensuring that your influence leads to positive change.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Sagittarius in the twelfth house draws your focus to spiritual exploration and inner wisdom. You are called to seek truth through introspection and spiritual practices that transcend the material world. The deeper lesson is about finding freedom and enlightenment through surrender, letting go of worldly attachments to embrace your soul’s higher purpose.

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Capricorn is about discipline, responsibility, and long-term goals. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, the planet of structure, karma, and time, and when the Sun is placed here, it brings a focus on ambition, duty, and mastery of material reality. However, the deeper significance of the Sun in Capricorn lies in learning to balance worldly success with inner integrity. It’s not just about climbing the social or professional ladder—it’s about doing so in a way that reflects your core values and contributes to something greater than yourself. The Sun in Capricorn urges you to take responsibility for your path, harnessing your inner strength and resilience to build a legacy that lasts. This placement teaches the soul to endure challenges with patience, knowing that true success comes through steady effort and commitment to higher ideals.

Through the Houses:

First House: You carry yourself with a sense of responsibility and seriousness. The Sun in Capricorn in the first house makes you goal-oriented and focused on long-term achievements. The deeper lesson is to balance your ambition with self-compassion, ensuring that your drive for success doesn’t come at the cost of your inner peace and well-being.

Second House: Your approach to wealth and security is practical and grounded. The Sun in Capricorn here challenges you to build financial stability through hard work and careful planning. The deeper calling is to understand that true security comes not only from material wealth but also from a solid foundation of values and self-discipline.

Third House: Communication and learning are approached with a structured and methodical mindset. The Sun in Capricorn in this house pushes you to express yourself with authority and clarity. The deeper lesson is to use your words and intellect to create something lasting, ensuring that your ideas contribute to the practical and long-term improvement of your environment.

Fourth House: Your sense of emotional security is rooted in structure and stability at home. The Sun in Capricorn here challenges you to create a solid foundation for yourself and your family, but the deeper lesson is to recognize that true emotional security comes from inner stability, not just external order or material success.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are approached with discipline and a desire to produce something of lasting value. The Sun in Capricorn in this house encourages you to take a serious approach to your creative projects, but the deeper lesson is to find joy in the process, allowing your inner child to flourish even within structure.

Sixth House: You bring a strong sense of duty and responsibility to your work and service. The Sun in Capricorn in the sixth house challenges you to approach your daily routines with discipline, ensuring that your work contributes to your long-term goals. The deeper lesson is to balance hard work with self-care, ensuring that your dedication to service doesn’t lead to burnout.

Seventh House: Relationships for you are about commitment and long-term stability. The Sun in Capricorn in this house challenges you to approach partnerships with maturity and responsibility. The deeper calling is to create relationships that are built on mutual respect and shared goals, ensuring that both partners grow together over time.

Eighth House: You approach transformation and shared resources with caution and a desire for control. The Sun in Capricorn in this house challenges you to face deep psychological or financial issues with discipline and perseverance. The deeper lesson is to embrace change as a necessary part of life, using transformation as a tool for personal and spiritual growth.

Ninth House: Your pursuit of higher knowledge and truth is grounded in practicality and long-term vision. The Sun in Capricorn here pushes you to seek wisdom that can be applied in tangible ways, ensuring that your philosophical or spiritual pursuits lead to lasting success. The deeper lesson is to find balance between practicality and the pursuit of higher ideals.

Tenth House: This is a natural placement for the Sun, amplifying your ambition and desire for public recognition. The Sun in Capricorn in the tenth house makes you a natural leader, but the deeper challenge is to ensure that your success aligns with your inner values. You are called to lead with integrity, building a legacy that reflects your highest principles.

Eleventh House: Your social circles and long-term goals are focused on achieving practical results and contributing to society in meaningful ways. The Sun in Capricorn in this house challenges you to use your influence to create lasting change within your community. The deeper lesson is to ensure that your personal ambitions align with the collective good, balancing individual success with social responsibility.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Capricorn in the twelfth house draws your focus inward, emphasizing the need for spiritual discipline and inner work. You are called to explore the deeper aspects of your subconscious and face your karmic responsibilities with patience and perseverance. The deeper lesson is about finding spiritual freedom through structure, using discipline to transcend material limitations and align with your soul’s higher purpose.

𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Aquarius brings a focus on innovation, individuality, and collective consciousness. Aquarius is ruled by Saturn and co-ruled by Rahu (as well as Uranus in modern Astrology), which gives this sign a unique blend of traditional and unconventional energy. The deeper significance of the Sun in Aquarius is about balancing personal identity with the greater good. It’s not just about standing out or being different—it’s about using your individuality to serve a higher purpose. The Sun in Aquarius urges you to embrace your role as a visionary, someone who can look beyond the present and see the potential for progress and transformation in society. This placement teaches the soul to rise above ego-based desires and contribute to the collective evolution, while maintaining authenticity and freedom.

Through the Houses:

First House: You carry yourself with a strong sense of individuality and a desire to be different from the norm. The Sun in Aquarius in the first house challenges you to use your unique perspective for the betterment of society. The deeper lesson is to balance your personal identity with a sense of responsibility toward the collective, becoming a leader who inspires change.

Second House: Your approach to wealth and security is unconventional, and you may seek to build financial stability through innovative means. The Sun in Aquarius here challenges you to redefine traditional ideas of wealth, focusing on how your resources can benefit the collective. The deeper lesson is to find value in originality and to use your talents to create something lasting for society.

Third House: Communication and learning for you are driven by a desire for new ideas and progressive thinking. The Sun in Aquarius in this house pushes you to challenge conventional wisdom and explore different ways of thinking. The lesson here is to use your voice to inspire others toward innovation and change, ensuring that your ideas contribute to the greater good.

Fourth House: Your sense of emotional security is linked to freedom and unconventional family dynamics. The Sun in Aquarius in the fourth house challenges you to create a home environment that allows for individuality and growth. The deeper lesson is to balance your need for independence with emotional connection, ensuring that your sense of home is both grounding and liberating.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are infused with innovation and a desire to challenge norms. The Sun in Aquarius in this house calls you to express yourself in ways that are unique and ahead of your time. The deeper challenge is to use your creative gifts to inspire progress, not just for personal fulfillment but for the advancement of society.

Sixth House: You approach work and service with an unconventional mindset, often seeking to improve systems or innovate in your routines. The Sun in Aquarius in the sixth house challenges you to use your work as a vehicle for societal progress, ensuring that your efforts benefit the collective. The deeper lesson is to balance your desire for change with practicality, ensuring that your innovations have lasting value.

Seventh House: Relationships for you are about equality, freedom, and mutual respect. The Sun in Aquarius in this house challenges you to build partnerships that honor individuality and personal growth. The deeper lesson is to create relationships where both partners can contribute to the greater good, using the relationship as a platform for collective evolution.

Eighth House: You approach transformation and shared resources with a progressive and detached mindset. The Sun in Aquarius in the eighth house challenges you to explore deep psychological or financial issues with an innovative approach. The lesson is to embrace change as a form of personal and collective growth, using transformation to break free from old patterns and evolve.

Ninth House: Your search for higher knowledge and spirituality is unconventional and often ahead of its time. The Sun in Aquarius in this house pushes you to explore new philosophies, spiritual systems, or cultural ideas that challenge the status quo. The deeper calling is to use your knowledge to inspire others to think beyond traditional boundaries, contributing to the collective consciousness.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are driven by a desire to innovate and challenge traditional systems. The Sun in Aquarius in the tenth house makes you a natural leader in fields that require vision and forward thinking. The deeper lesson is to align your career with the greater good, ensuring that your contributions have a lasting impact on society.

Eleventh House: This is a natural placement for the Sun, amplifying your connection to social causes and long-term goals that benefit humanity. The Sun in Aquarius in the eleventh house challenges you to lead within your social circles, using your influence to bring about change and progress. The deeper lesson is to balance your personal aspirations with the collective good, ensuring that your efforts contribute to a better future.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Aquarius in the twelfth house draws your focus inward, emphasizing the need for spiritual liberation and detachment from ego. You are called to explore the hidden aspects of yourself and society, seeking to break free from limiting beliefs or patterns. The deeper lesson is to find freedom through spiritual surrender, using your individuality as a tool for collective healing and awakening.

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐧

The Sun in Pisces represents spiritual insight, compassion, and the dissolution of the ego. Pisces is ruled by Jupiter and co-ruled by Neptune in modern astrology, which gives this sign a deeply intuitive, creative, and mystical energy. The deeper significance of the Sun in Pisces lies in its ability to transcend the material world and connect with the divine. It’s not just about being sensitive or imaginative—this placement is about the soul’s journey toward unity, empathy, and universal love. The Sun in Pisces encourages you to release attachments to ego-based desires and embrace the fluid, ever-changing nature of life. This is a call to live with compassion, allowing your inner light to guide others toward healing and spiritual awakening.

Through the Houses:

First House: You embody the Piscean qualities of empathy, intuition, and spiritual depth. The Sun in Pisces in the first house challenges you to lead with compassion and sensitivity, but the deeper lesson is to develop a strong inner sense of self without being overwhelmed by the emotions of others. You are called to express your spiritual nature while maintaining personal boundaries.

Second House: Your approach to wealth and security is influenced by a desire to connect with something greater than material possessions. The Sun in Pisces here challenges you to redefine your values, focusing on spiritual and emotional wealth rather than material accumulation. The deeper lesson is to cultivate a sense of security that comes from inner peace and trust in the flow of life.

Third House: Communication and learning are infused with intuition and imagination. The Sun in Pisces in this house pushes you to express yourself creatively, often through storytelling or spiritual insight. The deeper calling is to use your voice to inspire and uplift others, sharing wisdom that transcends logic and touches the heart.

Fourth House: Your emotional foundation is rooted in spirituality and compassion. The Sun in Pisces in the fourth house challenges you to create a home environment that nurtures your soul and allows for spiritual growth. The lesson is to find emotional security through inner peace and connection to the divine, rather than relying solely on external stability.

Fifth House: Creativity and self-expression are deeply intuitive and imaginative. The Sun in Pisces in this house urges you to express yourself through artistic or spiritual channels, embracing your inner world. The deeper challenge is to let go of perfectionism and allow your creative energy to flow freely, trusting in the process rather than focusing on the outcome.

Sixth House: You approach work and service with compassion and a desire to help others. The Sun in Pisces in the sixth house challenges you to find meaning in your daily routines by aligning them with your spiritual values. The deeper lesson is to balance your desire to serve with self-care, ensuring that your work contributes to both your own well-being and that of others.

Seventh House: Relationships are approached with empathy, compassion, and spiritual understanding. The Sun in Pisces in this house challenges you to create partnerships that are based on mutual emotional and spiritual growth. The deeper lesson is to balance your need for connection with your inner spiritual journey, ensuring that relationships support your higher purpose.

Eighth House: You are drawn to the mysteries of life, and your approach to transformation is deeply spiritual. The Sun in Pisces in the eighth house challenges you to embrace change and transformation as part of your spiritual evolution. The lesson is to release attachments to control and trust in the process of life, allowing yourself to surrender to deeper truths and emotional healing.

Ninth House: Your search for higher knowledge and truth is infused with a spiritual and intuitive approach. The Sun in Pisces here pushes you to explore different spiritual philosophies and to seek meaning beyond the material world. The deeper calling is to integrate these insights into your life and share them with others, using your wisdom to inspire and guide.

Tenth House: Your career and public life are guided by your desire to contribute to something greater than yourself. The Sun in Pisces in the tenth house challenges you to align your professional life with your spiritual purpose, using your career as a platform for compassion, healing, and creativity. The deeper lesson is to lead with humility and empathy, creating a legacy that reflects your spiritual values.

Eleventh House: Your social circles and long-term goals are influenced by your vision for a compassionate and connected world. The Sun in Pisces here challenges you to contribute to causes that uplift humanity and promote healing. The deeper lesson is to align your personal dreams with the collective good, ensuring that your influence brings positive change and spiritual progress to your community.

Twelfth House: The Sun in Pisces in the twelfth house draws your focus inward, emphasizing the need for spiritual reflection, healing, and connection to the divine. You are called to explore the hidden realms of your subconscious, surrendering to the flow of life. The deeper lesson is about finding peace in solitude, using your spiritual insights to guide yourself and others toward enlightenment and inner peace.

Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

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jewreallythinkthat · 2 months ago

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Today I went to the October 7th Memorial in the UK. There were thousands of Jews there along with Iranians, and a few other non-jewish groups (including the berbers).

It was peaceful, it was solumn, it was a show of unity between Jews of all denominations. I saw everyone from chassidim to the chief rabbi of liberal Judaism in the UK. People wept during the speeches, people saw friends and family and colleagues who they hadn't seen for years. People made an effort to find some joy despite the horrors that we have faced as a community for the past year.

And all the while in the background, there was a protest. Can you imagine what sort of twisted, vile, heartless ghoul you have to be to protest a memorial where people are holding signs saying "bring the hostages home", "rape is not resistance" and "our love is stronger than your hate". They had their little protest yesterday in central London with a few dozen arrested and then they came out and protested Jews mourning those killed on October 7th. It's pathetic.

We will survive this, and we will not forget those who tried to force us into the annuls of history. We are strong, we have been around since long before their families came into being; we carry traditions older than their culture and religions; we are not Jews with trembling knees.

#jumblr #antisemitism #i/p

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scudslut · 10 months ago

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ahhh yes yes, I haven’t written him too subby on here yet so I was super excited to write this❤️ I hope you like it @darylsgirl23 <3

Heartsease

Daryl x f!reader

Setting: Bridge Camp/Post Savior War

Wordcount: 2.6k

Warnings: 18+, softdom reader, unestablished relationship (but both know there’s a little somethin somethin iykwim), aka your his and everyone knows it, oral (m - receiving), unprotected piv, premature finish

Daryl was never one to keep still.

It made him anxious to be in one place for too long, always going on runs and patrols ensuring his people were as safe and provided for as they could be. He felt at ease outside the walls, out of people's prying gazes, and left alone to do his part for the community in peace. These days though, he was a flurry of activity. Hardly ever in the same spot long enough to see the sun rise and set again.

You knew he felt guilty - that he was angry and didn't know how to release it. You'd watch him work on the bridge for hours, frustration seeping out of his bones and into the atmosphere around him. It hung off him like a phantom.

The vast majority of the community was intimidated by it. They would walk on eggshells in his presence as if they could predict an oncoming outburst. But you knew better, you knew him.

He was angry at the world, yes. But he was distraught with himself... his own mind. It ran a mile a minute and gave absolutely zero reprieve. Anyone could see that if they dug just a bit deeper, looked at him a little closer.

Sure he was strong and burly; a true beast of a man, but he was also quiet and thoughtful. He cared so deeply about others that it frightened him to his core. All he wanted was to protect his family and do right by them.

And you saw all of that.

You had for years now and it only made your desire for him stronger. You wanted to thank him. Drop down to your knees and worship every freckle and scar that made him, him. He deserved it, deserved an escape.

Initially, you thought maybe he wasn't into that and preferred to keep his relationships asexual, to which you were perfectly happy to abide by. Any time spent with him was cherished time in your eyes. But during a sleep-deprived chat with Carol one night on patrol, long ago, you had found out he did have a few sexual encounters before the apocalypse. Just none that had truly meant much to him, or that he was entirely sober for.

That small bit of insight helped you understand the man so much more and you carefully dropped your hints from that point on. However, with your luck, every time you thought something might happen between you two, the moment would slip right through your aching fingers, dusted away by whatever imminent danger lurked behind each corner.

To be quite honest, you were getting fed up with the world's continuous cruel jokes, and from the looks of things, Daryl could use a healthy distraction right about now.

Ears perking at the familiar rumble you'd grown to love, you watched as he pulled up on his trusty, beaten-up Nighthawk, finally returning from a longer visit at Hilltop. You could see the sheen layer of sweat built up above his furrowed brows, his teeth nibbling away at his lower lip - an anxious habit you had picked up on mere days after meeting him.

His mind was bothering him. That much was clear.

He shuffled quickly to his tent, gaze transfixed on the muddy shoes he wore, avoiding any onlookers who wanted to ask their silly questions, throwing the flaps open, and disappearing in a fluster.

You knew better than to bother him now, give him some time to gather his thoughts and decompress. You whittled away at your spears, biding the time as you devised a plan on how you would approach him. After all, the last thing you wanted was to scare him off or embarrass him in any way. He was reserved when it came to these situations, unsure of himself. The few times you had brushed lips or touched him a bit heatedly, he was jumpy and almost insecure, as if he needed instructions on how he should behave. It was extremely endearing to you; like a stray pup who just needed a little reassurance and affection to calm his fierce walls of doubt.

It was almost dusk when you finished with your spears, gathering them up and placing them near some of the other weapons the community used when needed. You scanned the grounds, noticing everyone collected by the fire, dishing up for a late dinner. You quickly made your way over, grabbing two portions and slipping away before you were noticed and stopped for conversation. You knew Daryl wouldn't get one for himself, spew some excuse that 'he wasn't hungry' or was 'too tired' when really, he just didn't want to take away from another. Even if that meant he didn't eat or drink anything for days at a time. It made your heart blister for more reasons than one.

You balance both plates on your left arm, reaching to pull the flaps open slowly, not wanting to startle him with your arrival, "Dar? You asleep?" you whisper into the dim den.

You hear a grunt, some shuffling, and in a moment a soft glow fills the area as he lights a nearby lamp, perching up on his small cot, "I was."

Flicking off your boots, you zip the entrance closed behind you, "I brought you some dinner, figured you'd be hungry after your trip," You smile and he mutters a quiet thanks, opting to accept your kind offer rather than argue with you, he knew you wouldn't take no for answer anyway. He scoots to the side, creating a spot for you to sit while you two eat in comfortable silence. He liked that you didn't feel the need to fill the air, that you could simply enjoy each other's company without all the small talk. You were one of the few people he'd met in his life, who just inherently understood him, down to the most basic level. He hated leaving you all the time like he had been, just another thing to nag at his over-exhausted mind.

Hearing him sigh quietly, you cast your eyes over, watching as he scrapes up the remaining crumbs off his plate, placing it outside the tent along with yours for you both to deal with in the morning.

"I imagine your pretty tired, huh?" You ask, following his movements as he plops down again beside you.

"Nah, not really. Got a few hours 'fore ya came bustin' in here," he grumbles with a small smirk and you lean into him nudging his shoulder playfully. "Why ya wanna chat or somethin'?"

You consider him for a minute, trying to find the proper words to initiate what was truly on your mind. You knew you had no reason to be nervous. That even though you'd never labeled anything between you guys, you both felt it. Knew it was there. You just needed the right moment. Now was as good a time as any, you figured.

"No, I just- I wanna try something."

He nods his head for you to continue, so you scoot closer, placing your hand delicately on his shoulder and bringing your face centimeters from his. You stop just before you close the gap, gauging his reaction. His breath hitches slightly and you feel his pulse rapid under your fingertips, but he doesn't pull away. Taking that as the only confirmation you'll get, you press your lips to his softly, brushing your thumb against his stubbly, pink cheek. He takes a good minute to respond, carefully moving his lips back against yours and placing his hands on your hips. You feel him squeeze, eliciting a quiet moan of encouragement from you and he all but sinks into your touch, falling into a comfortable rhythm with your lips. You stay like that for a while, breathing in his piney scent and relishing in his gentle kneads at your waist. It wasn’t much to the untrained eye, but you knew that was his way of pouring his affection into you without so many words. His way of telling you he was yours.

You drag your kisses down his neck, nibbling and sucking at the salty flesh between his collarbones. His breaths grow uneven and you can feel him begin to tense again, unused to such personal attention, "Is this okay?" You ask, not wanting to push him past his boundaries. He only nods in response, his throat feeling like the Sahara.

He has to admit, he's thought about this many times, relieved himself to thoughts of you too many times to count over the years. He's just never known how to approach you about it, scared you'd reject him or he'd do something wrong.

He watches as you slip to your knees before him, your eyes glued to his. "You'll let me know if you want me to stop, yeah?" As he tries to nod in response again, you stop him, "I need you to say it to me," You press.

"Y-yea, I'll say somethin'," he whispers timidly and you grin, beginning to unbuckle his belt and slip his raged jeans down. You kiss down his strong thighs, feeling them tremble slightly beneath you. His hard-on is poking through his boxers and you drag your lips across it, placing soft pecks down the length of him, listening to his breathy pants. You didn't realize how turned on you'd be, having him all flushed and needy for you, but god were you enjoying it. Slipping your fingers into the waistband, you tug them down and his cock springs free, precum leaking from the pretty, pink tip.

"You dun have'ta," he mutters, anxiety sweeping over him fast, even though he really, really does want to. You catch his gaze, noticing how dark his stormy eyes have gotten.

"Let me take care of you, sweetheart," you reply, pressing soft kisses from the base to tip, feeling him pulse under your touch. You enclose your mouth around him, taking almost his entire length at once and you hear a guttural groan from above you, his knuckles white from the clutch they had on the bedsheets.

You wondered if he had ever had a woman go down on him before. Judging by the gasps and twitches he was emitting, if he had, it hadn't been for a very long time.

He bucks into you, searching in a daze for more friction, and you pin his hips down, earning a deep whine from him. You knew if he wanted to, he could easily overpower you, use your mouth to his heart's content, but he wouldn't. He wanted you to take charge. Needed it.

Raking your eyes over his heaving figure, you slide your tongue along his shaft, moving in slow, sensual circles as you bob up and down. Daryl's head is tossed back, eyes screwed shut and you can tell he won't last much longer. The sensitivity of not being touched in so long, sprinting towards him at full speed. You pull back, slowing your movements. He lifts his head off the wall, pale blue eyes blown to darkness as he watches you take him so sweetly, "Please," He whispers.

When you shake your head, humming a soft, "Not yet," as best you can around him, his eyes roll back into his skull, entirely overwhelmed by the overstimulation, but loving it nonetheless. "I-I can't," He gasps, his accent muddled even stronger in his lustful state. You have to squeeze your legs tighter, clenching around nothing hearing your man so utterly wrecked beneath you. You want to draw it out for hours. Have him begging you to let him cum down your awaiting throat. However, you decide you both have waited damn long enough to prolong your union even more.

Releasing him with a soft kiss to his leaking tip, you stand in front of him, shimmying out of your clothes as quickly as you can. "Lay down for me, baby,' You direct, moving the straddle him as he eagerly follows your orders, turning lengthwise on the makeshift bed. His eyes never leave yours as you sit down on him, groaning when he feels how wet you are pressed against his cock. "Have you thought about this before, pretty boy?" His cheeks flush crimson at your sultry compliments, nodding curtly whilst avoiding your stare.

"Dar." You press.

You were being so gentle yet stern with him it was making it brain fuzzy, all stressors from the day long washed away to be replaced by only you.

"Have, yeah," He huffs in embarrassment, trying with great difficulty not to portray how truly turned on your words were making him. But you saw right through him... or rather felt him. You lean forward, kissing and nipping up his neck to the shell of his pink ears, "Do you want me to stop?"

A full-body shiver jolts through him when he feels your warm breath against his ear, involuntarily rolling his hips into yours and you chuckle at his obvious sensitivity. He knows he needs to use his words. You won't be letting him off that easy. "Please don't," Is all he manages and it seems to do the trick. You grip his length, tracing it along your soaked folds, and slowly sink down. Your careful as you take in his reaction, scanning his expression for any signs of discomfort. He bites his lip, his eyes squeezed shut and lets out a muffled groan.

"Fuck," He mumbles, and you're surprised to hear him say anything you didn't need to pry out of him. A positive sign, you determined and start to bounce your hips slowly, creating a synchronized dance between your bodies. Your body is buzzing as you ride him, finally feeling the dull ache you’ve had for the man below you begin to dissipate as he whimpers oh so softly for only you to hear. His hands grip your waist hard enough to leave bruises to find in the morning, but you hardly give it a second thought. All you can think about is Daryl. His closeness, his warmth and strength, and-

He tenses beneath you, broken gasps leaving his chewed lips and suddenly he’s lifting you off of him, soaking your thighs and abdomen completely. You gawk as you watch him come down, sworn you haven’t ever seen something so fucking sexy in your life. His head tossed back, jumbled curses leaving his mouth, and dark auburn hair dripping with sweat. You don’t care that he finished before you, this was about him. But you see his eyes snap to yours when he fully comes back down to reality, cheeks blazing for a different reason than before.

Leaning towards him, you capture his lips with your own, tenderly pouring your affection into him, needing him to know you weren’t upset, “It’s okay, relax,” you whisper against him with a soft smile, leaning your forehead onto his. His eyes are filled with guilt, “I mean it, Dar,” And he’s back to his nods of response.

He didn’t need any more words of sympathy. He knew you were happy as a kid on Christmas, he just needed to accept it for himself. So with one last peck to his cherry lips, you slide off him, grab a rag to clean yourself up with, and scoot right in beside him, craving his warmth. He turns to you quickly, grabbing your waist and pulling you impossibly closer to him, burying his head into the crook of your neck. You feel a few soft pecks from him along your jaw and you sigh contentedly, wrapping your limbs around his, reeling in your post-coital glow.

You were safe, snuggled with your love, and that was all you needed.

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