#inb4 ‘pay someone’ i know and i am going to explore that option i’m just pissy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aldieb · 2 years ago

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having a stupid furniture tantrum bc it’s hard to put furniture together alone and carry things alone and i am going to somehow need to return one of the very heavy boxes but i physically cannot get it in my car w/o doing myself an injury and the only person i know who’s in shape to help is my brother who wouldn’t spit on me if i were on fire. and i did this to myself but also, to be very self-centered and angry abt this for a moment, one of the reasons i moved was that i could not find a person to simply physically sit with me during any of the week when i was in acute mental crisis and a was away so it’s not like i could count on reliable help in any location! found family is kind of a scam and it’s not bc anyone is like, evil or intentionally negligent—but everyone has their own stuff going on and is running on depleted resources from their own crises. shrug and sigh

#text tag #meanwhile my mother has multiple times gotten on a plane to drag me out of an awful episode bc like. idk biological imperatives and a #stronger sense of duty (obviously not every mother caveat caveat caveat)#also speaking from experience w a found family situation that did work out as a robust source of community (my non-blood relatives on my #d*d’s side) but that really feels like the exception rather than the rule #inb4 ‘pay someone’ i know and i am going to explore that option i’m just pissy

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