#communication (and a lack thereof) is definitely the BIG THEME here

[saucerfulofsins]

Actually, I think the reason we're acting like he is wrong because the show frames it from Eddie's perspective? We don't see Christopher calling Eddie's parents, we don't see the conversation(s?) Ramón and Helena had with Christopher while there, we just see these two people Eddie hasn't seen in ages and isn't on good terms with barge into his life and tear it apart.

I think that's where the crux is. Eddie believes his parents are right, that his parents do get to do this. Look at his change of behaviour. I don't think I've seen Eddie drink tea at any other time in the show. Helena makes it, too. She's comfortable moving into his space and taking the reigns! In other words: they are not guests.

It's also in the framing. These are parents talking to their son, the way you might see in any teen movie or whatever. Look at their postures. They do seem open and interested in Eddie, but also fairly relaxed?

Eddie, on the other hand, is on guard:

And he's right to be, because this is immediately before his parents inform him they will take Christopher to Texas for a while. That decision happened completely outside of him, meaning, his parents don't at any point discuss this with Eddie in a way he gets a say. His parents override him. I'm interpreting this as a trauma response for personal reasons, okay?

There's also a lack of talking in the rest of the conversation. For example, slightly earlier there's this exchange:

Eddie: "I can't fix it if he won't talk to me" Ramón: "Well, you can't fix it. It happened. [...]" Helena: "It stirred up a lot of emotions for him, and he's going to need some time to sort it out. And honestly, Eddie, I think you do too."

Ramón acknowledges that Eddie fucked up, but not that this sucks for Eddie. Helena leans hard into the emotional side for Christopher, and of course she's right to address Eddie's part in this, but... they don't really talk about it. They don't even talk about Christopher not talking to Eddie. Instead, they act as Christopher's proxy in the worst fucking way possible:

Helena: "He's thirteen, he should get a say!" Ramón: "Your son is trying to tell you what he needs."

As the audience, we haven't seen this conversation with Christopher and his grandparents. It's interesting to me that Ramón and Helena don't even ask for Eddie's input here; it's all about Christopher, but it's all about Christopher through them.

Ramón: "Don't wait thirty years before you listen. You'll regret it."

Presumably, he's talking about him not listening to Eddie for the past thirty years. Is he listening to Eddie at any point in this conversation, though? No. No he's not. Not in any meaningful way, not when Eddie tries to tell them he wants to keep Chris with him, because they immediately weaponize Chris and what Chris wants/says against him. A thirteen year old child against his thirty-something father, and because it's done through Eddie's parents, the thirteen year old wins. Except he doesn't. It's Eddie's parents winning. Christopher isn't listening to Eddie, and now his parents aren't, either.

And I think that's the crux of it for me. Eddie's still his parents' son, and he was raised the way he was, and he immediately falls back under their control. He isn't heard because they refuse to hear him, and that is most likely a life-long pattern. He doesn't know any better! I'll bet it's why he's so focused on talking and listening to Christopher (and also why his friendship with Buck is so different, because Buck is a great listener - and probably also why he does struggle sharing his own part and releases it with the slightest prodding from Buck).

It's also bitter as fuck, because his own son is being heard, but he isn't. So yeah, the implication here may very well be that Eddie is worthless/unfit/etc. (at least, that's definitely a lesson he could draw from that).

In other words, I don't think it's the legality of his parents taking Christopher to Texas that's at play here. I think it's the way Eddie's conditioning towards his parents makes him feel like he has no voice here. And frankly, I do think that's something he should have to work through in S8. Why has he let this happen to him. What it is in his contact with others that makes him feel this way, like they can take everything in his life away from him. (Realistically, I know that won't happen, but... maybe?)

I also think this dynamic is... deeply familiar to a lot of people. I know my parents pull this shit! I know many other people my age with parents of a similar age (born in the 50s/60s) who also pull this shit. I don't even know if I'd call it abuse, but it's definitely not healthy.

And then in the scenes of Chris leaving, we first get Buck who does get to talk to Chris while Chris listens, but also Buck who is clearly on Eddie's side (like literally the way he walks into the room to stand behind Eddie/opposite Ramón and Helena). Then Eddie, who's demanding Christopher listens to him, and then lets him know he a. loves him and b. lets him choose his own way. He's expressly doing things differently from his own parents. And the moment he does, Chris and Eddie briefly meet each others' eyes???!!

But then, the final moment we see Chris leaving with his grandparents, it's Ramón shutting the door, not Chris or Eddie. Again this sense of definitiveness imposed on them by his parents.

And then Eddie walks into the station, and Buck asks, and it's more lack of communication between Eddie and his parents+Chris: radio silence from Chris, and his mother sent pictures. Eddie either doesn't (feel it's okay to?) ask how Chris is doing, or his questions aren't answered.

Sorry some of this got away from me, but what I want to say is: Although Eddie is legally right, on an emotional level we're led to believe Eddie is in the wrong, because that's what Eddie himself believes. And Eddie himself believes that because his parents have decided he has been in the wrong and Christopher must come with them. It's conditioning, and I think it works probably a little too well because a lot of people in the fandom will have similar experiences with their own parents. You know. Something to think about, and hopefully something the show will address in S8 (although I realize that is probably an idle hope).

it is important for me that we all acknowledge that eddie diaz is in a legal position where HE could call cps. and say hey my parents took my kid away. across state lines. with no date when he will be back. here are his specialist doctor appointments here is the private school he goes to here is the documentation that my parents are not in his life and have not been since he was about 6. here is documentation of my full-time employment here is this safe and disability-friendly house. here are his friends and extended family that also live in california. and cps would say damn that's crazy. let's fix this. like it's important to me that we know he could do this. it is crazy to me that we are acting like he is wrong?

[alchemabotana]

St. Bahkita - by Antonina Whaples 2021

Mixed media painting

Medicine people are more apt to be holding and releasing large facets of consciousness in this time. The message has been clear: go easy on yourself, pace yourself, rest often, and communicate only as needed.

It’s felt for a while that the medicine world has been deep undercover, and there’s been some in-fighting amongst the spiritualists about facets and tenants of what should be allowed to proliferate, and what is ultimately harmful to us all. Those who are still in fear of punishment, but truly animated by Spirit are being initiated through their own personal Great Mystery in various dimensions of Spirit World and this time-based concurrent reality. Those who were unjustly punished will be granted many graces in this time. Those who unjustly punished them will have their graces stripped away. To every season, turn, turn, turn.

In the next 6 months, some study could be used towards the influence of Saturnian energy on the consciousness we inherently perceive and struggle with when it comes to the panic it induces to begin to accept reality as fuzzy-wuzzy until a new clarity is discovered. When reading astrological reports with Saturn in Aquarius, make sure to try to relate to any patriarchy messages coming down through the spirit sponge to a fun, positive archetype in your mind. As in: what if so-and-so were here at this moment to give me encouragement, how might that sound in my head? In other words, redefine the voices in your head to send you intel and self-talk that is, at the very least, highly amusing.

And it’s not just the medicine people ��feeling it” - there is a great number of uninitiated psychics and healers of all nations who are undergoing a psychological and personal spiritual awakening. There are new nations of imagination being introduced to the grid. “Boys have become men” so to speak - whatever your relationship to gender or sexuality - your inner masculine has had to arm wrestle his way into the current condition, and he deserves an epic theme song.

The divine feminine is asking this timeline “are you living with art? Are you living with heart?”. It’s been the remembrance of the knowledge we’ve been tuned into our whole lives (and the ones in the past), coming forward in an epic sweep. If your waters, earth, or air was littered with shipwrecks, mine fields, and poison gas - you’ve been feeling the triggers in every element of your life.

Take a moment to consider the reality of your lived experience, the spirals that they take, and the ultimate return to yourself through it all. We are cyclical creatures, animals of a planet, who rise and fall with the sun and the moon, and steer our destinies in the field of ownership of our minds. Like never before the nations of this planet have been revealed to themselves through the eyes of others. It’s not a surprise to begin to discover who has been avoidant of mirrors (literally, and in the outside world). Be cautious of reading too much into the “whys” of the action (or lack thereof), and be more conscious of your personal power to co-create entirely new realities, and the dominion you’ve been given karmically to do so.

Many in the mojo have discovered that there are personal power rules to any craft, be it intrinsically practical or utterly magical. Deep awareness of the lessons of the past and present are becoming embarrassingly clear to the lot of us. When responsibility needs to be claimed, it is actually an act of courage to pick up what is yours and transform it into something useful. Those who have abused their power are being dosed out timely warnings and opportunities for recompense. Those with real healer hearts should remove themselves from scenarios where other’s energy sources are disruptive to the real work being done. Revelation of this personal removal is indeed a tricky communication from Spirit and your Guides. Be watchful of subtle cues from the universal communicators in your day to day, and make sure to acknowledge that just because it’s happening, doesn’t mean something is wrong.

It’s a big message from the Spirit World these days that spiritual activity is only on the rise. Apparently many nations have called in some very powerful healing requests, and this ancient technology supersedes the forward drive of whatever other power players there are. For those obsessed with the advancement of this timeline and the legacy that they will leave, this spiritual thumbprint will be difficult to navigate. If you find yourself cursing in traffic, using expletives to explain everything, or decide that everyone is evil, you’re probably just normal.

Universal Spiritual Law has been triggered on many levels for some time. Although to many it feels like the spiritual authority and power of those they pray to is waning in this timeline, the personal revelation of spiritual truth is a promised covenant of this era. We will all discover the unveiling of our personal identities to ourselves, and revel in the discovery and love of who we were created to be. Self love and the care of the Self is and will become a spiritual dawn of community care, with generations of young people focused on how to make environments feel safe, comfortable, and healing. As people further emerge from their dwellings and interact with the outside environment it will feel like we are rediscovering our world. Absence has made the heart grow fonder. This refreshment will quickly fuel the arts and further encourage entrepreneurial growth. Those in the art sectors of the economy will breathe a sigh of relief to discover that their exploits, struggles, and expressions are important, valid, and very valuable. Quality of creation across the board will be re-evaluated. Less focus will be paid to functionality of design or shows of artistic mastery, nor will it be another reductive view into the abstract. This new art coming from this era, and the one to come, will be focused on process and emotion, meditation, feeling, intuition,spirituality, and self love. Everything for quite a while will feel very “personal” and people as a whole will need the niche of creation in their day to day routines in order to feel grounded and supported. This will take many forms, but ultimately be incredibly expressive. This new expressive voice will sound quite different from the ones that came before, and new definitions reflective of our human experience will be written in our history books. One day we’ll look back and realize just how much we knew all along.

Shamanic Reading for the Next 6 Months:

July: Elk

August: Deer

September: Whale

October: Squirrel

November: Butterfly

December: Coyote & Possum

The animal medicine consulted for the next six months indicates that timing in the natural world is healthy and centered. The more focus we as animals pay to our cycles with the natural world around us, the more healed we will become. Our focus will shift from drive to trust as we learn the ebbs and flows of the world around us, and are able to remember it through generations of whole peoples.

It will be a gentle fall into the Autumnal season, and the equinox promises to bring balance and opportunity for healing, forgiveness, reconciliation, and internal restfulness. All empathic people will feel this gentle spiritual wave as they continue to tune into the larger frequencies of the changing season.

The thinning of the veil will be informed by the emotional work we do in September, with focuses on the deep waters of emotional consciousness. It will not be surprising if you are able to, without even realizing it, leave behind facets of yourself that no longer serve you. On a very literal note, I have gotten messages for several decades now that we need to be listening to the frequencies of the whales regularly in order to heal from the psychological trauma of the past, especially war and slavery. The Whales have kept an unbroken consciousness in the waters of this world, and they are trying to reconnect with us in order to help us heal. This is part of the cycle of how animal nations help and heal each other. Other animals are very clearly able to communicate complex matters to each other and we are being invited to the pow wow to listen, learn, and grow.

The Gathering energy of All Souls will be a much needed source of energy for the late Fall and Early Winter dynamics arriving at the end of the year. It will truly feel like it is time to begin to hibernate sooner than usual. It will not be because of bad weather, but because people are choosing transformative activity of the inner self over social interaction. Something about the high Yang energy of the beginning of this 6 month journey has worn us out, and we’re ready for the respite offered by our cocoons of choice.

December is notable for further explanation as it is two animals together: Coyote and Possum. In this case we can trust that these tricksters are up to some good, and there are safe passageways being opened this holiday season that may not have been available in the past iterations of the holiday cycle. Watch as things mysteriously go right, and try to lean into your trust of your intuition and spirit guides as they whisper to you all the right answers to the final exam.

[joycrispy]

I Think About Caduceus Clay More Than The Average Person: Also, Fjorclay Took My Lunch Money

I dunno have some miscellaneous thoughts. CW: A touch of gay angst.

--Headcanon: The ‘firbolgs don’t actually have names’ flavor from 5e is actually a thing in this world (Pumat Sol excepted, as Matt said he’s fully integrated into human society and is an outlier). But, given the funereal work of the Clay family, they took on names for ease of communication with other races when they came through the grove. The ‘C’ theme is a running joke.

This is why Cad sometimes seems a little confused about which relatives are which; between themselves, they didn’t actually use them. He knows their faces and traits and voices. Not their names, at least not as well as he used to. 

But then, he hasn’t had to use them in awhile.

--Clay itself is more of a religious designation than a name, but it functions just fine as a surname if needed. Caduceus seems to introduce/address himself as “Clay” or “Mr. Clay” more often than his apparent given name, so I think he identifies with it more strongly.

--Caduceus worries about “what it would mean” if it turned out his entire family was dead, but doesn’t elaborate. To me, this seems like a separate issue from just grief.

Therefore, until Tal proves me wrong (and he almost certainly will), HEADCANON: Caduceus is either ace or gay or both, and has always been hyper-aware of this considering he comes from a sacred bloodline.

And that’s a duty he takes seriously. “What it would mean” for him to be the last Clay is that he’d have to engage in at least a little heterosexuality, and even with that unpleasantness out of the way, he’s never given any indication that he’s interested in being a parent (just the opposite, actually).

--Addendum Headcanon: The “wasn’t honest with his parents” thing? Basically, see above. No grandchildren for you, Cornelius and Constance Clay.

Mind you, I don’t think it’s something he’s agonized over. If the grove had never begun to die and the Clays had never left, I’m sure it would be a non-issue. This isn’t Taryon Darrington Part 2. But I think it would be on his mind, given his highly specific circumstances.

--“I don’t understand what it is I want anymore,” because again he is a big acegay and is unexpectedly falling in love with Fjord, next.

--Okay actually let me explain. See, Tal has mentioned before that Cad has some sort of perspective on relationships and sexuality, but has also avoided talking about it in too much detail, which leads me to believe either a) Tal hadn’t fully developed those ideas yet, or b) talking about them would amount to a spoiler. I think both are equally likely, but let’s assume it’s B for now.

I think, when he was created, Tal fully intended for Cad to be an aroace character. But, just like when he intended Percy to be irredeemable, the role-play got away from him, and now he’s got a firbolg in his brain who is experiencing romantic attraction for the very first time in his long, lonely life.

“This world has changed me.”

Cad knows it’s happening, but he doesn’t know what it means (everything means something, to Cad), or what to do with it. It’s delicious and I love it and you can’t take it away from me.

 --Some thoughts about the way Fjord’s relationship with Caduceus has developed.

Like, we have Fjord. Idolized a man so much that he decided to become just like him, right down to his accent.

His entire model for what a man ought to be came from Vandren, but his own insecurities twisted it. Fjord was always over-compensating, always getting his ego bruised (especially over his size/strength, or lack thereof), always posturing and playing the protector to Jester (who could punch him through a wall). He never quite managed to be the rugged, heroic figure Vandren apparently was.

But, he’s done trying to be Vandren. He has a new mentor now.

“I’ll do anything, I’ll wear pastel, I’ll drink tea…”

Fjord hasn’t taken on Caduceus’ persona the way he did Vandrens’; I suspect he’s grown too much for that. But he HAS latched onto him pretty significantly, and he DOES idealize him (“[Caduceus is] selfless to a fault.”). That’s all interesting, and we can wonder why EXACTLY that’s Fjord’s go-to social script with men he admires…

But either way, I kind of love that Fjord’s new object of fixation is a gentle, pink habitual-nurturer who lives in service to a lesbian nature goddess.

The C O N T R A S T.

--Fjord was waist-deep in the comphet and is also unexpectedly falling in love with Caduceus. He is less aware that this is going on, because Fjord is less aware in general, let’s be honest.

--I’m still not over Fjord being able to feel it when Caduceus is communing with Melora. Do you think he gets the Ghibli hair? He definitely gets the Ghibli hair.

--I don’t have words to talk about the Stone thing yet. Insert yelling here.

 Anyway this whole post will be disproven the minute someone asks either Travis or Tal about fjorclay directly but I GOTTA HAVE HIGH HIGH HOPES FOR A LIVING

[clockworkouroboros]

I’m back talking about The Amazing Devil, babey! Specifically, the album Love Run. It’s time for some wild crazy analysis that will tie together a whole bunch of songs on the album (not all of them, unfortunately) and ultimately prove that Love Run is possibly even more connected than The Horror and the Wild.

Some warnings: I don’t know if this counts as analysis so much as me just crying into the Internet void about the way these songs reference each other? If you’re in the TAD discord server, then you’ve probably seen me scream about this topic before; this is just for posterity. And again, Joey and Madeleine, if you see this, I’m doing my best and I need you both to know that your music has successfully driven me insane. I love it.

Where to start? First of all, there’s a huge theme of communication, breaking up, and regret. What do I mean by this? Well, let’s start with that first one: communication.

In Shower Day, the entire song is about what these people aren’t saying to each other. “Would’ve stayed if you’d had asked, but instead you just walked past.” “Never say how much you missed her, or that you kissed her sister.” Even when things are being communicated, it’s from the past tense, like the singer is looking back on something that has ended. (“You’re the one who told me my hair looked better black, and you’re the one who told me to never look back. You’re the one who asked me if I’m feeling okay, I said, ‘I’m fine. It’s just a sitting down in the shower day.’”) The bridge of the song is literally “For chrissake just say something,” repeated over and over. This isn’t necessarily subtle. The whole point of the song is wanting to be there for someone, but leaving because they aren’t saying anything.

(An interesting — to me, anyway — tangent: check “you’re the one who told me to never look back” with “whatever you do, don’t turn round” in Pruning Shears. One of Pruning Shears’ “don’t turn round” moments is also repeated underneath some incredible vocal riffs in Pray, with “don’t turn round, darling.” This essay thing isn’t about that, but it’s cool.)

Now, where does this communication theme continue? In Little Miss Why So. This isn’t in the lyrics, but those of you with good hearing and speakers will have caught Joey singing very quietly near the end of the song, “For chrissake just say something,” echoing Shower Day. This song is primarily about depression, but a big part of it is about poor communication. The “he” in LMWS talks too much, wants to help, but he’s so busy talking that Little Miss doesn’t say anything and instead shuts him out, keeping him from her (“why won’t you let me follow in your footsteps as you trek into that underground world?”). The song ends with him leaving her. “He” arguably handles her depression badly, but he still cares about her: if you pay attention to her “stop asking why I’m sad just know, it’s enough to know I’m sad,” you can hear Joey singing “If I’m good will you come back?” underneath. In the context, it’s heartbreaking, like he thinks that he’s somehow to blame for her depression and wondering if he can fix it by being good enough.

The breakup that occurs during LMWS is also present in other songs: for example, in New York Torch Song, they sing, “I cannot find the words to keep you.” “If I’m good will you come back?” is most prominent in Two Minutes, and “come back” shows up in other songs, like King and Pruning Shears.

“Come back,” though, is less about the breakup and more about the third thing I mentioned: regret. The singer wants the other person back, whether it’s a non-depressed version of the other person, like in LMWS/Two Minutes, or there’s an actual breakup. Pruning Shears manages, more than any other song, to nail the heartbreak of the “come back” recurrence. Sure, it’s in the refrain, “come back, come back, we don’t have time to fuck around,” but it’s also in one of the verses. I’m including a screenshot of the lyrics from bandcamp; just know that they’re being sung at the exact same time, which is why I sometimes struggle to recite them from memory.

So the way this is all working out in my head is this: NYTS is the start (wedding bed, a general “fight the world” sort of attitude), LMWS ends with the breakup, Two Minutes is his point of view for the breakup, and Shower Day is afterwards, looking back at the whole thing. (“You’re the one who told me to never look back” vs later in the song, “well I’m looking back”). I’m not quite sure where Pruning Shears fits into this chronology, but it definitely ties in with the rest of the songs thematically.

The thing is, if I take the time (and I won’t because this is getting long as it is), I can tie in more songs. I once spent like thirty minutes on Discord just connecting King and Little Miss Why So. I think the connections get a little bit shakier when I try to fit more songs into this schematic, but it still works. The entire album is about this couple going through a breakup and regretting it. In my head, I have tenuous connections that string the whole album along this line of thought, but again, it’s shaky at best and this post is really long, so I won’t go down that rabbit trail.

Anyway, I need to get some sleep, because it’s after midnight and I work in the morning, but here are some scattered, slightly tired thoughts about a bunch of songs on Love Run. In general, I do think Love Run is more connected than The Horror and the Wild, because THatW is neat. It’s easy to show the connections and compartmentalize them, relatively speaking. In Love Run, it’s like an entire tangled mess of string, and what looked like one knot was actually closer to fifty.

TLDR: Love Run has an overall theme of communication or lack thereof, resulting in a breakup and regret. But hey, the last song is hopeful and pretty, so it won’t leave you feeling too broken inside!

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you sit on the couch or the floor? I’d definitely choose the couch over the floor. 

How many different colleges have you gone to? Two-- a community college and a UC. How much stress can you handle? It doesn’t take much at all before I get overwhelmed.

What is something you have to do before you go to sleep every night? I like to listen to ASMR. 

How confident are you in achieving your dreams? Sigh. I’m a mess. I don’t even really have any dreams I want to achieve right now. I don’t have the motivation or the energy. I don’t have any confidence in myself. I really need to get my shit together.

What is one thing you thought you’d never do but have done or are doing? I didn’t think I’d end up like this. I didn’t have a definite plan with what I wanted to do after college, but I can assure you this wasn’t it.

Have you ever disowned a friend or family member for their beliefs? No.

At what point in your life do you think you will be truly happy? I don’t know. :(

Do you ever make pictures or shapes out of the markings in the ceiling? I did that as a kid sometimes.

Do you ever feel like your life is too boring or predictable? It most definitely is.

Do you really think money will buy your, or anyone else’s, happiness? It can certainly help. I think it could bring some happiness, like happy moments and things that bring joy, but it wouldn’t cure my depression and the other stuff I’m dealing with. It wouldn’t just go away. At the end of the day, I’d still be left with those things. The thoughts and feelings would still be there. Those feelings and thoughts hit me in the middle of doing something I like or if I’m having a good time now and I don’t see that changing if I became financially better off. 

Is shopping a form of therapy for you? No.

Do you have to take medication for any mental illness? I’m not currently taking anything for it.

Do you believe it is possible for someone to change? Yes, of course. 

What is your favorite food to snack on when watching t.v.? I’m not a big snacker, but lately I have been into sourdough bread and spinach and artichoke dip.

Do you like looking at pictures? Yeah.

Have you ever set 2 people up and it actually worked out? It did for a little while.

Are you good at persuading? Uhh. Depends.

How do you feel about tattoos and piercings? I’m not super into them for myself, but I think they can be cool.

Do you care what people think? Yes and no. Not as much as I used to. I wish it was because I’m now this happy and confident person, but no. 

How many dirty looks have you received today? None.

If a loved one who’d died showed up at your door, what would you do? Uh, I’d be scared and freaked out to say the least and extremely confused. I honestly don’t know what I would do or say. I think it’d be a roller coaster of emotions. If it really were them then I’d be overwhelmed and cry and want to hug them and talk to them and omg I’d be a mess. It would feel so surreal. I’d also have a lot of questions.

Do you believe the dead can have connections with the living? I like to believe they give us little signs.

How many times have you looked at a picture and wished you were there? Many times.

And your name is? Stephanie.

How do you like your coffee? With flavored creamer or cream and sugar.

Do you have a job? If so, what do you do? No.

If unemployed, what do you do to keep yourself busy? My days consist of rest, social media, TV, YouTube, Tumblr, reading, playing Animal Crossing, surveys, and spending time with family.

Top 3 favorite foods, go: Wingstop’s garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings, ramen, and breakfast sandwiches.

What does the person who texted you last mean to you? My mom means everything to me.

How do you feel about polyamory? Not something I would be okay with.

When did you last have sex? Was it good? Never.

Which apps on your phone do you use the most? YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, and Kindle.

Do you go through phases when it comes to music genres, or are you pretty consistent in what you listen to? I’m consistent. 

Does death scare you? Yes.

If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? I’d have good health, mentally and physically.

Which family member do you get along with the most? My mom and brother..

Do you like horror movies? Why or why not? Yesss. 

Do you play video games? If so, what are some of your favorites? I’ve been playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons for the past year.

How often do you eat fast food? Quite often.

Do you like sushi? Nooo.

Would you ever be able to become a vegan? No.

How often do you drink alcohol? I don’t. I haven’t drank going on 8 years now.

What was your favorite toy as a child? I was obsessed with Barbies.

Who was your first best friend? What is your favorite memory of/with them? Are you two still friends? These two girls, Crystal and Starr, in preschool. I remember they came to my birthday party at Chuck E Cheese; that was fun. No, we lost touch after preschool. 

If you could see anyone in concert, living or dead, who would it be? I wish I could have seen Linkin Park with Chester. :(

If you were to get married, would you rather have a big extravagant wedding or a small private affair? Explain your answer. I don’t plan on getting married. I really just don’t see it in the cards for me.

Do you want kids? Why or why not? No.

How did you meet your newest friend? I don’t have any friends.

Have you ever watched the show Teen Mom? What did you think about it? Yeah, I watch Teen Mom OG and Teen Mom 2.

Are you old enough to remember MySpace? Yeah, of course. I’m old.

Where is the boy you want most? There isn’t one.

Where will you be 2 hours from now? Right here.

How old is the last person you kissed? He just turned 30.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex to text you? My brother.

Can you make yourself sneeze? No. Tilting my head back and looking at a bright light doesn’t seem to work for me.

What is your current mood? Blah.

What are you doing tomorrow? Same stuff, different day.

Who was the last person to sleep in your bed besides yourself? I’m the only one.

Do you think you would make a good boyfriend/girlfriend? Not at this time, no.

Where were you at 9am this morning? I was in bed, asleep.

Whose bedroom were you in last? I’m in mine. Do you think you’ll be a good mother/father? I don’t want to have kids.

Do you talk to the person you like everyday? I’m not interested in anyone right now.

Do you have trouble deleting your text messages? I’ve never had a reason to delete them.

Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? Ehhhh.

Would you rather rent or buy movies? I like watching them through a streaming service.

What is the best part of your own body? Nothing.

Would you rather watch a full season of American Idol, or So You Think You Can Dance? American Idol, I guess.

Do you like to take walks? No.

Have you ever gone anywhere for spring break? Yeah, my former best friend and I took a few small trips.

Do you worry a lot? Yeppp.

Would you rather have big or small dogs? Medium dog.

Do you mind being cold? I much prefer it to being hot. I like wrapping up in a blanket or lounging around in a sweatshirt or drinking a warm drink.

What is your favorite sports drink? I don’t drink any sports drinks.

Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? This is it.

What is your favorite candy? White chocolate.

Do you document everything in pictures? Not everything, but I do like taking pictures of things I want to remember and having those memories.

Have you ever waited for something for so long and then had it snatched from right underneath you when it seemed so close to grasp? Yes.

Choose one: being able to teleport yourself anywhere in the world at any given time or being able to fly? Teleport, hands down.

Do you feel more comfortable in public wearing jeans or sweatpants? I’m a leggings gal.

What is something that most people wouldn’t know about you from simply looking at you? I take surveys. <<< Ha, true.

Do you fear growing older? Yes.

Have you ever been called a tease? Yes and I was like wtf? I wasn’t the one leading them on or playing with their emotions like they were. 

Is there something that reminds you of someone every time you see or hear it? Yeah, many things like that with different people.

Do you trust all of your friends? I don’t have any friends.

Does The X-Files theme song give you the goosebumps? It did when I was a kid.

Have you ever taken the batteries out of a Ferbie only to have it come alive in the middle of the night? Omg, that did happen once! Those things were freaky.

Don't you find those black cat clocks with the moving eyes and tail just a little creepy? lol yeah they kinda are.

When things get bad, are you more likely to blame yourself or somebody else? Myself. 

Are most of your friends' biological parents married or divorced? Do you remember those commercials that scared kids into not playing around railroad tracks? No?

Do you ever wish your life was a sitcom, just so all your problems could be solved in thirty minutes? That would be nice.

Have you ever noticed how different everybody's 1st, 2nd, and 3rd bases are? I feel like it’s the same general idea.

Do you tend to set yourself up for disappointment? I’m always expecting the worst case scenarios, so.

Would you ever call a guy back and say, "Oh, sorry. I was taking a hot shower"? No.

Who do you get most of relationship advice from: guys or girls? I used to get it from both. Although, oddly, I was the one people came to for relationship more often and I had none.

Have you ever put your all into someone and got nothing back? Yes.

Do you think that you, personally, have been more shaped by experiences or by people? Experiences.

Do people ever make fun of your religion or lack thereof? Not to me, personally, but yes people do make fun of Christianity.

Have you ever put the television on mute and tried dubbing in new dialogue? No.

Do you say/do things a lot for shock effect? No.

If you were in an iPod commercial, what would you want your background color to be? They don’t make those commercials anymore, but rose gold.

What was the last compliment you gave a guy? I don't know.

Do you usually follow your head, instincts, or heart more? They all play a role, it just depends. I suppose my emotions do probably play a bigger role.

Where do you spend most of your waking time at home? In my room.

Does your jaw ever crack, pop, or lock? It pops sometimes.

With just your life, are you more optimistic, realistic, or pessimistic? Definitely pessimistic.

Is it hard for you to ask for help? Yes.

Have you ever thought of how you would give your kids "the talk"? No. I don’t want to have kids.

Do you ever feel like you're missing out on something? Yeah, life.

Is your high school ANYTHING like the ones in the movies? My high school experience was nothing like that, but I feared it would be going in. Movies never paint high school in a good light.

Are you going to be totally screwed if pigs start flying tomorrow? I don’t recall ever really saying I’d do something if pigs fly or anything like that. I don’t think...

Have you ever finished taking a shower and realize that there are no dry towels? I always grab a towel beforehand.

Do you love listening to sad piano solos? Sometimes.

Was one of your grandpas in a war? My paternal grandpa was.

Did you ever actually try to find the end of a rainbow? As a kid, I’m sure.

Are you afraid of jinxing things? Sometimes. 

Do you ever write/draw on windows that are fogged up? I did that as a kid.

If you were married, and your spouse's parents became ill, would you let them move into your home? I’m very close with my family so I would certainly understand and would want to do what we could to help. 

Have you screamed in a pillow before? For sure.

If a guy put his jacket on a puddle for you, would you actually walk on it or just look at him like he was crazy? lol aww I would be like you really didn’t have to do that now your jacket is all wet and dirty. We can just go around. I’m in a wheelchair, so that wouldn’t do much good anyway lol.

Would any of your friends dress up like a cow for a free chicken sandwich from Chikfila?

What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Acoustic.

Have you ever ordered something off a commercial on television? Nope.

What do you notice more, somebody's eyes or smile? Smile.

Did you actually have a cookie jar? We did when I was little.

Have you ever put on a shirt that came straight out of the dryer? Yessss. I love that.

Sometimes, does it feel like your life isn't going anywhere? That’s exactly how I’ve felt these past few years.

You've reach a fork in the road, do you go left or right? Hm. Right.

Do you ignore people when you're mad/upset with them? Not flat out ignore, but I become distant and short. I don’t initiate conversation with them.

What's worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed, definitely.

Have you ever gotten up early the next morning to do homework or study? Yes, but I usually just stayed up late and finished instead. I didn’t want to risk waking up late or running out of time and stressing about it.

Do you still consider Pluto a planet? I always still include it. 

Right now, are you at a high, leveled, or low point? “And I’m at an all time low low low low low low low....”

When things go from bad to worse, have you ever been afraid of what kind of person you would be when it was all over? These past few years have made be become someone I absolutely do not want to be. :/

Do you honestly believe that good things come to those who wait? It can for some. Sometimes it seems like people are really just handed stuff with minimal to no effort, but generally speaking you have to work at it. I don’t think you can just sit around waiting, you have to get up and do it. And that’s something I need to do. I go on about how each year nothing changes and I’m worried about wasting away and doing nothing with my life, but I am doing anything to try and change that? Am I taking any steps? 

What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails? I’m always biting my lips. I pick at my nails constantly, but I don’t bite them.

Have you ever wanted to fast forward your life so you could see if it was worth it? Sometimes, but I’d be afraid to actually do that if given the chance.

Do you think that knowing when and how you're going to die would ruin your life? I really don’t want to know.

Did you ever feel bad for Tom and Sylvester? Jerry and Tweety did often tease and provoke. You can’t help but feel kinda bad for Tom and Sylvester sometimes. 

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

A Question of Auters: A Director’s Influence

John Ford.  Alfred Hitchcock.  Stanley Kubrick.  Martin Scorsese.  Orson Welles.  Charlie Chaplin.  Tim Burton.  David Lynch.  Francis Ford Coppola.  Steven Spielberg.

If you have only the barest knowledge of film, you recognize at least one of these names, and well you should.  These are the names upon which an entire school of thought is built, the greatest directors in film history.  These are the directors that matter, the creators that shaped an industry.  These are the men who made important films.

Or at least, so popular auteur theory would have us believe.

Auteur is a word heard often within the film community, thrown around as a casual term, part of the jargon used by those interested and well-versed in cinema.  Even those who aren’t interested or well-versed might recognize the word from use alone, and either way, depending on your viewpoint, it may inspire either a wise, respectful nod, or a disgusted snort.

Before we jump into the reasons for those reactions, however, perhaps we should discuss what, exactly, an auteur is.

The word auteur is a French noun, defined by dictionary.com like this:

A filmmaker whose individual style and complete control over all elements of production give a film its personal and unique stamp.

Or, for a simpler definition, just translate the word literally: auteur is French for author.

It’s a reasonable translation, one that makes a lot of sense.  In many ways, despite not literally writing the story or script, a director is the person the most responsible for a film’s end result.  They get the final call.  They work with the actors.  It is they who have the ‘vision’ of the film, the end product in mind throughout the entire project.

It’s no surprise that in a world fascinated by the relatively new (and relatively fast growing) medium of film, it didn’t take long for the public to become equally fascinated by the people most obviously behind the movie-making process: the directors.

The term auteur theory is not a new one.  It was discussed first by future author François Truffaut, in Cahiers du Cinéma titled Une certaine tendance du cinéma français, which, translated, is: “A Certain Tendency of French Cinema”, in which Truffaut criticized French cinema, championing instead American directors, notably Alfred Hitchcock and Howard Hawks.  It was also Truffaut who said:

“There are no good or bad films. Only good or bad directors.”

Later, the term auteur theory was first coined by American critic Andrew Sarris in a 1962 essay entitled Notes on the Auteur Theory, followed by a book called The American Cinema: Directors and Directions 1929–1968, which would go on to influence movie critics, raising further awareness of the idea of auteur theory in the first place.

But what is an auteur?  We’ve named a few, sure, and we’ve even discussed the basic definition, but how can you tell if a film is created by an auteur, rather than ‘just’ a director?  Where does the difference come in?

The answer lies in the examples used by Truffaut in his essay: Howard Hawks, and Alfred Hitchcock.

Both of those directors help set the gold standard for what would be considered the criteria for the auteur style, very simply by having a style of their own.

See, put very simply, Hitchcock and Hawks, while creating very different films, had one thing in common in terms of directing: they both had very distinct individual styles.

In Sarris’s 1962 essay, he laid down the groundwork, three major rules, that all directors must follow to be considered an auteur, all three of which Hawks and Hitchcock embodied to a T:

“A great director has to at least be a good director.”

 In other words, to be an auteur, the director in question has to be at least a competent story-teller and film-maker.  They must have some level of ability in terms of technicals.

2. “Over a group of films a director must exhibit certain recurrent characteristics of style which serve as his signature.”

An auteur must have a signature style.  This is probably the rule that people are the most familiar with, the distinguishable personality that makes Tim Burton’s films dark and full of stripes, or why Hitchcock has an ‘icy blonde’ in nearly every one of his best films.  This is the element that dictates that, for it to be the work of a true auteur, you can tell who the director was, just by looking at the film itself.

3. “Interior meaning is extrapolated from the tension between a directors personality and his material.”

In simpler terms, auteur films have to reveal the director’s innermost thoughts and ideas about life, the human condition, films, anything, really.  It’s these elements that give us Steven Spielberg’s use of fathers (and lack thereof) in his films, or his themes of ‘Growing Up Sucks’ and Tear Jerker stories of idealism, or Howard Hawks’ themes of manhood, or Martin Scorsese’s stories of Anti-Heroes, cynicism, and the idea of Family vs. Career.

To quote Andre Brazin:

“The politique des auteurs consists, in short, of choosing the personal factor in artistic creation as a standard of reference, and then assuming that it continues and even progresses from one film to the next. It is recognized that there do exist certain important films of quality that escape this test, but these will systematically be considered inferior to those in which the personal stamp of the auteur, however run-of-the-mill the scenario, can be perceived even minutely.”

In other words?  Being a bad film produced with a recognizable style is better than being a good film with a bland style.

The question is…is that true?

Is it better to be a worse film with the distinct fingerprints of a well-known name, or a good film with no individualism as a style?

And an even bigger question: does it all truly lie in the hands of the director?

Here’s the thing:

While auteur theory existed in the 1950s and 1960s, it wasn’t really considered a big deal, especially by the auteur’s themselves.  Hawks and Hitchcock thought of themselves as just working in a trade, not making art.  It was in the following decade that the idea truly took off.

The ‘auteurs’ emerged, en masse, in the 1970s, and with good reason: the entire idea of auteur is impossible without the existence of film school, and the ability and reason to watch a director’s entire filmography.  The distinct styles of Orson Welles, Charlie Chaplin, and Alfred Hitchcock directly influenced the ‘movie brat’ director generation, such as Scorsese, Spielberg,  Francis Ford Coppola, and Woody Allen, directors who had not only grown up with films, but with film studies.  This led to the birth of ‘New Hollywood’, the age of the director, a period that returned the state of productions to the way it had been in lulls of studio involvement in the past.  It’s no coincidence that many films on ‘best of’ lists are created by auteurs from the 1970s (although I should point out that there are no shortage of films created by stylistic directors beforehand).  Although the idea of ‘auteur’ had been around for decades, an argument could be made that director worship truly took off in the 1970s with films like The Godfather, Taxi Driver, Jaws, and Annie Hall.

The success of these films encouraged studios to put more projects in the hands of these up-and-coming directors, fresh and eager to tell new stories and make more films.  As big as the idea became in the 1950s and 1960s, it can be very easily argued that the idea experienced a rebirth in the 1970s, shaping very much the idea and examples we have available to us now.  But just as it sparked a resurgence, it also sparked a backlash, a backlash that some would argue was very much needed.

Some, like critic Pauline Kael, have been very outspoken against auteur theory, with plenty of arguments being made against it, such as it’s tendency to elevate lesser films, claiming that a bad movie by a great director is important simply because it has his style.  Other criticisms point out that just because a director forces his style on a film doesn’t necessarily mean it fits the individual film, making each movie more about style than substance (a common criticism of Stanley Kubrick’s work).  Other complaints explain that the idea of ‘auteur’ excuses Prima Donna Director behavior, or encourages overblown expressions of ‘vision’ that end in disasters.

These are valid criticisms.  

But there is one that is held above the rest, one final critique that remains, in my opinion, the nail in the coffin against auteur theory being considered so incredibly great, is that: film is, by nature, a collaborative effort.

I asked earlier if this all lies in the hands of the direction, and the fact is, no, it doesn’t.

There’s no Tim Burton or Steven Spielberg style without their signature Production Posses.  Alfred Hitchcock’s iconic work doesn’t rest on his shoulders alone.  Every director, no matter how involved or talented, relies on a network of people, all bearing a substantial portion of the weight of an individual film.  The best directors know this.  

The fact is, no matter how talented the director is, there must be a limit to the director’s power, or a film’s production can turn into an egotistical disaster.  By nature, movie productions are group efforts.  Between actors, producers, editors, cameramen, costume designers, transportation, catering, and countless other individuals with vital jobs, films are massive efforts from massive amounts of people.  Every movie, no matter how many ‘hats’ the director wore, is the result of the coordination of several people executing a vision that, in the end, may have been the director’s, but by no means was exclusively his.

“Boiling it down to one person and placing their influence above everyone else makes for bad movies.”  (“The Ultimate Guide to the Best Auteur Directors.” StudioBinder, 12 Feb. 2020, www.studiobinder.com/blog/auteur-theory/.)

In a nutshell?

Are directors important?

Of course they are.  They are still the head of a production, and they still do (often) have identifiable fingerprints on each film they’re a part of.

But with that said, it’s vital to remember that directors are not the end-all and be-all of an individual film.  Auteur theory is a valid element of film study, and by no means should it be omitted, but it should be contextualized in film history, a reminder that no director stands alone.

And the best directors, the auteurs themselves, would agree.

Thank you so much for reading, and I’ll see you in the next article.

[aroacepagans]

Alright so the survey on aro community needs from this post got 30 responses, and with it all being long form I don’t expect to get many more.

So what I’m going to do is give summaries of common themes and answers above the cut for people who don’t want to read through a bunch of text, and then I’m going to put individual answers under the cut for folks who are interested. Please note that these are all anonymous survey answers, and they do not necessarily reflect my opinions. I encourage people to have/start discussions around the topics brought up here so that we can work towards having a mutually fulfilling and cohesive community. 

Summary: 

 What are the community needs of alloaros?

More recognition and visibility both within and outside of the aspec community, aro specific spaces where no one will assume that they’re ace and where they don’t have to be bombarded by ace content, safe spaces to talk about their experiences with sexual attraction, and a wider community acknowledgment that ace and aro don’t mean the same thing. 

What are the community needs of aroaces?

Separate aroace spaces, space and language that allows them to express the interconnectedness of their aro and ace identities, a recognition of the diversity of aroace experiences including the experiences of oriented aroaces and aro leaning aroaces, spaces devoid of both sex and romance, and less infighting between the aro and ace communities. 

What are the community needs of non-SAM aros?

New language that doesn’t enforce the use of SAM as a norm and that doesn’t enforce a SAM/ non-SAM binary, more recognition of aromantic as one whole identity, more inclusion of their identity within aro spaces, and having the ability to label themselves as aro without being asked what their other identity is . 

What are the community needs of greyro/ aro-spec folks?

Specific spaces where they can talk about aromantic attraction, more recognition and visibility both within and outside of the aspec community, more greyro/aro-spec specific resources and content, and a larger platform within the aspec community to discuss their experiences.  

What are the shared needs of these different subgroups within the aro and arospec community?

Increased visibility, spaces free from amatonormativity, safe and unbiased shared spaces for all members of the aro/aro-spec community, separation and distinction from alloaces, more in-person spaces, and a building of understanding and acceptance between the different community subgroups.  

How do we meet all of these needs within an online space?

Better and more formalized tagging systems, creating more forums, chats, tags, etc, that are specific to different aro and arospec subgroups, creating more variety in online aro spaces generally, giving equal online spaces and platforms to all aro subgroups, and having open and polite community discussion about our needs within online aro spaces. 

How do we meet all of these needs within an in-person space?

Use inclusive language, allow for smaller sub-communities within larger aro and aspec groups, provide resources for small, lesser known identities both within groups and at pride, push for more aro inclusion in wider queer spaces and create safe and respectful discussion spaces where everyone can voice their needs  

How do we reconcile conflicting needs?

Civil and open discussions, try to find solutions instead of just arguing, and create separate spaces for subgroups when needed while continuing to maintain larger general spaces for discuison and community building. 

Individual answers:

What are the community needs of alloaros?

1. A space to be aromantic but not asexual. As an alloaro myself, I struggle to relate to many aroaces - and the ace community in general - because my sexuality is a big part of my identity, right along side being aromantic. I want a place where I can discuss how being aromantic affects my sexual attraction without having to focus on one or the other

2.  A place to talk about sexual attraction without being ridiculed or being called a player. Advice about how to go about getting a relationship that fulfills their needs without be demeaned to expected to evolve into romantic.

3.  I'm not alloaro, so I don't feel comfortable speculating on their behalf, but from the perspective of an outsider looking in, they need more visibility, both within and outside of the aro community.

4.  Recognition mostly, acknowledging that asexuals can’t keep putting their stuff into the aro tag, the fact that romance repulsed allo aros exist and are uncomfortable with allo aces putting their stuff everywhere

5.  Aro specific places. I personally don't have to talk about sexuality in general areas but aroallo specific places/sites/tags for this would be great.

6.  Dismantling the assumption that aromanticism is inherently linked to asexuality (even if it is for some individuals, it's most definitely not a hard rule that applies to everybody else), moving away from seeing aroace as the "default" aro experience and in fact not assuming one's other possible identities because they identify as aro at all

7.  Not one myself - probably spaces to find safe hook-ups if desired, to talk amongst themselves

8.  Less ace experience talking over aro experience. Also, not conflating the two identities as one.

9.  I often feel ashamed of the allo part of my identity. I think more visibility would help a lot. It also took a very long time for me to even consider being aro because I was under the impression I had to be ace so separating those ideas would help.

10.  As I’m not allo aro I can’t really say, but a lot of them have been speaking out and saying that they don’t want aro to automatically mean aroace, and that aromantism is not a sub sexuality is asexual

11.  To talk about alloaro specific issues freely, and to not be assumed to be ace or to have to leave our sexualities at the door when entering aro spaces

12.  Increased awareness that one can experience sexual attraction without romantic attraction

13.  To be respected and given a aro-specific space/platform to discuss their needs/issues/etc

14.   A space to not be: assumed ace, confused with aces, forced to avoid talking about how they want sex without romance and how that sexual desire affects them, etc. A space where they can find others like them to help them understand themselves better and make friendships and feel less isolated.

15.  i'm not alloaro so i'm not going to speak for them but like. acknowledging that aro does not mean ace and allowing the aro community to exist outside of the ace umbrella is super important

What are the community needs of aroaces?

1.  Recognition that aro is an equal and completely it's own community but that the community doesn't have to be completely separated.

2.  Separated areas where uniquely aroace experiences can be discussed

3.  Less infighting between the aromantic and asexual communities. You can and should call out hurtful behavior by the other community, but going into isolation mode leaves aroaces stuck in the middle of two sides retreating in on themselves. Aroace issues are aro issues! Aroace issues are ace issues!

4.  Acknowledging that we occupy a unique overlap between the aro and ace communities that no other perioriented people experience (if we can even call ourselves perioriented, since we're basically forced to straddle two communities or else have one aspect of our identity erased); having spaces where we can talk about our aroaceness without having to separate out our identities, when we often can't

5.  Well if you mean just "aroaces" who use it as one word for a convergent orientation they need a place where mixing up and "confusing" an experience as related to their aromanticism when it's more about being ace doesn't get aros yelling at them in the Tumblr tags that they shouldn't tag it aromanticism and they're stupid/horrible hurting aros when they do. They need a place where they can talk about their experiences as very interconnected and inseparable without offending people for whom they are separable. They likely mostly want to learn from allo aros and allo aces what it feels like to be allo so they better understand more of society and don't want to feel alienated from either community of aces as a whole or aros as a whole.

6.  I just want some safe wholesome space. Since I joined the aro community on tumblr couple years back, it just feels like the community is defined by discourse, negativity, fights, petty disagreements and drama. I understand, the community is still in diapers and we need to figure ourselves out, but I feel like we've lost the way. Do we need to react to every troll and hater? Is seriously someone offended by them? Why do we legitimise and acknowledge them as part of the discussion? It's like giving an equal platform to scientists and flat earthers. Is this really how we want to be? If you try to think away all the drama stuff, what's left? Is there anything left at all?

7.  The freedom to find their place in both ace/aro spaces and for people to allow them to use/not use the SAM as they see fit. Perhaps giving non-SAM aroaces some new language?

8.  More community for aro aces. As an aro ace myself I always have to divide time between the aro and ace communities

9.  a space where both identities are recognised as equally important - a space where aro identity isn't seen as a subset of ace identity, or deriving from it - somewhere they can express romance and sex repulsion or lack of thereof

10.  A term that isn’t AroAce. Something that is not just a combination of aromantic and asexual. But to also not be a sub set of allo aro or allo ace. We shouldn’t need to choose which identity is more important and we shouldn’t have to use the SAM.

11.  I think to recognize that there is an aroace spectrum. You can be mlm, wlw, nblnb, etc and still be aroace

12.  Content that doesn't rely on "but we still experience x attraction!", tips for living alone/single, also tips for finding/being in a committed relationship such as a qpr (I personally want a relationship but I have no idea how to even start looking for one)

13.  I am not aroace so my opinion should not carry as much weight as others but from what my aroace friends irl say, I think we need more recognition for oriented aroaces

14.  To be able to talk about the intersection of our identities and how we are uniquely impacted by aphobia

15.  Understanding that not all aroaces feel that their two identifiers hold equal value to them (e.g. aromantic as a primary identity with asexuality as a secondary identity). Letting people focus on the one identity over the other is not an exclusion on the other identity; their preferred identity is just more meaningful in their lifes and/or personal growth.

16.  Available spaces that are not only sexualised spaces (eg clubs), options to avoid discussion of sex, being hit on if desired (colour code in mixed irl aro-spaces?)

17.  Aroaces need a space where they don't have to pick between their aro and ace identities, as well as a space where sex and/or romance repulsed aroaces dont have to deal with romance or sex in any way

18.  Idk, not aro ace but I would say recognition as well

19.  Full disclosure, I've mostly stopped participating in the ace/aro communities of late (though I haven't stopped reading it) because it felt like every time aroaces spoke up, we were brushed aside or shrugged off because we were the "privileged" ones (in both aro and ace circles). That means I'm a bit out of the loop. I identify far more with my aromanticism than my asexuality, but I've definitely been made to feel that I'm somehow a negative influence on both communities because I technically belong to both. I feel bad enough discussing my identity outside of the ace and aro communities, particularly among queer friends - it feels like when I bring up aroace experiences, it's like I've doused the fire of whatever conversation I was in, and I don't feel like replicating that feeling by trying to talk about it on the 'net, too. So, I guess we mostly need acceptance. We need spaces where alloaros can talk about their experiences without feeling bombarded by aroaces, we need spaces where aroaces can talk about our experiences without feeling like we're marauding on allo experiences, and we need places where both sides can talk about our aromanticism as one community. We as aroaces need to do better about determining when to discuss our issues, and making sure we're discussing them within the communities they're relevant to, as well. I have a pretty solid handle on which aspects of my identity are informed by my aromanticism and which are informed by my asexuality, but that's not a universal experience. Plenty of people have issues separating the two, especially when they're missing both sexual AND romantic attraction. It's hard to determine which of those "missing" pieces are supposed to fit where, and it's important to understand and find a place for these people to post, as well. But ultimately there needs to be more acceptance and openess all around. And I have no idea how we can do all of this.

20.  Often aro and ace-ness are inseparable to aroaceness and thus unless something is very specifically about sexual attraction aroaces need to have a sense of flexibility

21.  Honestly, as a greyro-ace myself, I feel like aroaces are sort of the face of the community

What are the community needs of non-SAM aros?

1.  it's all in the name 'non-SAM' for me. that it is assumed everyone has multiple attractions and/or labels themselves by them. it's use rather implies that the words aro or aromantic or aro-spec /don’t/ automatically include us. it's obviously a perspective change needed here, maybe a new term or descriptor as well? i don’t kno really but i hate the specification of — the expected /need to/ specify — non-SAM.

2.  I'm gonna skip the other Qs b/c I don't think I can speak for SAM-using folks. Anyway, as a non-SAM aro I think some of my big things are 1. Recognizing that aromanticism can be its own identity without being split or modified 2. Ending the default assumption that I am ace, identify as ace, and know what the heck ace people need in their communities. 3. Recognizing and respecting aros who don't want or desire QPPs and making it clear that non-QPP friendships and family are not only as good as but can be just as fulfilling as other relationship models. 4. Including non-SAM people as part of our basic and default definitions of asexuality and aromanticism. 5. Making space for discussions of why microlabels don't work for everyone and why the SAM doesn't work for everyone 6. Making an active effort to make aspec spaces more accessible to folks who have just learned about aspec stuff, folks with cognitive and language disabilities, and non-native English speakers. And, like on a broad note, my autism makes it difficult for me to break my identity into tiny pieces. The aspec community's focus on microlabels and the split attraction model, plus the fact that the people participating in discussions often seem to be younger than me and just barely in the process of developing an identity that I've been comfortable in for many years, makes me feel isolated and alienated from the community. When I do participate, the complex and high-entry-level jargon that some members of the community use make it difficult for me to participate in community interactions, which leaves me feeling even more alienated.

3.  again, not speaking over other people, but it's important to recognize that aromanticism is a full identity on its own and doesn't inherently require use of the SAM. breaking down the alloaro/aroace binary

4.  It seems they want to just talk about aromanticism without having people judge which type of aro they are for if their views count etc. They want more than anyone for aces to be better allies when it comes to LGBTQIA arguing where the A doesn't mean Ally and rather asexual that there needs to be room for the queerness of aromanticism in the LGBTQ+ umbrella. They more than anyone will always need aromantic specific everything - recognition, representation, communities, where no one expects you to also be something else

5.  For myself, mostly non binary language and less assumptions that all aros ID with the SAM would be helpful, also acknowlement that non-SAM aros may have differing experiences as a group. This sounds small, and honestly it is, but the unintended consequence of binary language addressing only 'aroaces' and 'aroallos' that I've seen is that spaces can become increasingly polarized between different split attractions and then I've just kind of slipped through the gap in between. It's just my personal experience, of course, but honestly just including this box in the survey is a great start.

6.  In-space focuses and new language.

7.  More awareness

8.  A space where we don't feel the need to express ace/allo identity alongside our aro identity

9.  To not get caught in an alloaro Vs aroace war that they can't pick a side for, is probably one.

10.  We just need ppl to stop kind of adding us in a sentence in their post or say 'not everyone uses the sam' I wish we could have more discussions on why the sam doesn't really work for us or how we're left out from the community as a whole.

11.  Acceptance of just being aro. Aromantic is a whole independent identity despite where it was born.

12.  A space to talk about how the ace community has harmed them or made them feel unwelcome without aroaces or alloaces acting like it is an insult

What are the community needs of greyro/ aro-spec folks?

1.  Understanding that not everyone is completely aro or that their romantic attraction levels change.

2.  providing spaces to talk about experiences with romantic attraction/relationships

3.  I'm in this group. I need to feel like it's ok that aromanticism stay a spectrum and some aros are "more ace" (I'm sex-averse etc) than clearly aro (I might choose to date) and to not feel like people are accusing me of being alloromantic when I don't feel alloro. If people make sweeping statements about aros that don't include me or sweeping statements about alloros that do cover my experiences, it is hurtful and invalidating of my identity. And it even can make me doubt myself which isn't fair after I've spent years figuring myself out. I want a happy community that can get along and not hate aces preemptively before any of the select aces they're talking to did anything wrong. Who can forgive aces who make mistakes but who want to be better allies. I'm an ace and an aro-spec person. I'm an ally to aros who aren't gray but all forms of people being an ally takes some learning curve. Understanding that can go a long way.20 hours agoMore awareness21 hours agomore discussion about our orientations, more material for us in general, people getting a platform to share heir experiences. i feel kind of isolated in the aro community because there isnt a lot thats directed at us and our experiences that are neither really aro nor alloa day ago- a space where romance repulsion and simultaneous lack of thereof is acknowledgeda day agoIdk I'm not on the speca day agoMore content for the smaller identities under the spectrum umbrella would probably be nice, also asexuality being jammed together with aromanticism can be annoying sometimes especially if the post only really has to do with one or the other. Visibility in stories and media and such would also be greata day agoacknowledge that not everyone is strictly ace or allo. Like alloaros, allow us to talk about whether we want romantic partners or how our experiences differ from non grayro aros.a day agoN/aa day agoTheir own voice for their complicated feelings about being on the aromantic spectrum.a day agoNot greyro, likewise not my place to comment.2 days agoThe aro community is actually already pretty good about this, but it's cool that romance still happens for some of us and that out voices are allowed to at the very least be on our own space without criticism.2 days agoUh2 days agoArospecs need to be able to talk about their approach to romance, as it is very often very separate from the way allo people experience romantic attraction2 days agoI think both grey and demi aromanticism and asexuality in general need more recognition 2 days ago

4.  More awareness

5.  more discussion about our orientations, more material for us in general, people getting a platform to share heir experiences. i feel kind of isolated in the aro community because there isnt a lot thats directed at us and our experiences that are neither really aro nor allo

6.  a space where romance repulsion and simultaneous lack of thereof is acknowledged

7.  More content for the smaller identities under the spectrum umbrella would probably be nice, also asexuality being jammed together with aromanticism can be annoying sometimes especially if the post only really has to do with one or the other. Visibility in stories and media and such would also be great

8.  acknowledge that not everyone is strictly ace or allo. Like alloaros, allow us to talk about whether we want romantic partners or how our experiences differ from non grayro aros.

9.  Their own voice for their complicated feelings about being on the aromantic spectrum.

10.  The aro community is actually already pretty good about this, but it's cool that romance still happens for some of us and that out voices are allowed to at the very least be on our own space without criticism.

11.  Arospecs need to be able to talk about their approach to romance, as it is very often very separate from the way allo people experience romantic attraction

12.  I think both grey and demi aromanticism and asexuality in general need more recognition

What are the shared needs of these different subgroups within the aro and arospec community?

1.  what we need across the board is recognition, compassion, and dissemination.

2.  More aro recognition and its own and equal but not completely seperate from ace (for aro aces) community.

3.  To discuss their experiences with the lack of romantic attraction and amatonormativity, amongst other General arospec issues

4.  safe spaces to talk about being aro and all of the ways it intersects with other aspects of our identity; representation and advocacy

5.  Neutral aro-spec spaces where all intersectionality is equally accepted but also not the main topic or qualifier; recognition of a broad range of experiences; recognition of specific language and acknowledgment of their existences; facilitated ability to speak about more specific or 'niche' topics

6.  Recognition in queer spaces and healthy dialogue about language.

7.  i think we all want a platform for our specific topics and we want recognition, but also community

8.  A space where romance repulsion is acknowledged and respected - a space where aro identity is prioritised, no matter what other identities go along with it, if there are any at all

9.  To move forward in our activism to make aromanticism more well known and more accepted in society?? And to have a safe place to go after a day of dealing with amatonormativity and aphobia.

10.  To make ourselves exist outside the definition of asexual

11.  I think all the communities/identities need to recognize that there is a problem. If we unite with each other and have so much love and understanding in the form of unity, I think a lot of these problems will resolve themselves.

12.  Visibility?

13.  make sure we understand each other's experiences and what makes everyone feel included / excluded. We need to make that we sure we own up if we excluded someone, and that we try to fix it.

14.  Visibility is my greatest concern for all aspects of aro and arospec problems.

15.  Aces need to stop speaking for them. Aro-spec and aro people can speak for themselves on their own experiences. Additionally, aroaces need to focus more on the aro identity (whether it's primary or secondary to them) when it involves aro discourse. They can have a focus on their ace identity only with the exception that both identities are heavily tied to each other and both identities are discussed. Again, this is specifically for aro-specific discourse.

16.  Discussion of amatonormativity, experiences with pressure to find partners

17.  A creation of a unified aro space that includes and supports *anybody* identifying as aro or arospec

18.  The validity of aro identities shaping gender identities. I believe I'm nb in large part because of aromanticism.

19.  All four of these groups need visibility and more in person communities

20.  Allo aces need to stop taking over everything is the overarching problem when you think about it, they also need to stop throwing aros under the bus

21.  We ALL need more visibility. We need voices that aren't reliant on the ace community to speak for us as an afterthought, and I say that AS an ace. We need to talk about aromanticism as a whole. And we need to do so proudly and informatively. I've noticed that it's really, really hard to talk about aromanticism without making it sound like I'm demonizing romantic attraction, and that's a dangerous treading ground within the queer community. There's been a lot of negatively portraying queer romantice from outside of the community, and we need to make sure we're not stepping on those land mines, but we do need our voices heard on aromanticism and amatonormativity, too. Also, we need to hold fast to QPRs and squishes (and, imo, aplatonic) and not let those ideas get swept out with the discourse trash. We also need to support both the aros who want and have QPRs, and the aros who want nothing to do with them. I see a lot of support for aros in various forms of non-romantic (and sometimes romantic) relationships, but very little for aros who choose to fly solo, and what that means in a world that expects you to pair up.

22.  I do think we need to be more openly vocal about our separateness from the ace community, though it seems to be tearing aroaces apart at the seams

23.  A space to discuss aromanticism - however people experience it - in a space were others are opening and welcoming. Possibly also older members of the community giving advice to newer members who are struggling to come to terms with their aromanticism in a society so focused on romance

24.  I feel like a lot of aros are frustrated with their experiences being mislabeled as ace experiences, or having the assumption that aro and ace experiences are basically the same

How do we meet all of these needs within an online space?

1.  make sure you aren’t in an echochamber? share/create content for orientations other than your own? be kind? remember that when we're fighting it's kind of over scraps and we deserve better? i'm not sure honestly but i really think a lot of this comes down to perspective. plus remember the block button exists lol. i'm talking about things all on a personal, individual level and i don’t kno how to effect anything otherwise. how about a content creation week where the subject is an orientation other than your own? with emphasis on asking questions to get shit right. it'd be a learning experience that builds community. i can't think of a thing to answer this question on a larger scale ://

2.  We accept that some people see their aro and/or ace identitie/s seperate and some don't. Also that some only have one of these identities. And we spread aro recognition.

3.  Equal education and resources for all parts of the aro spectrum

4.  Cut it out with the pack instinct. Aces and aros snarling at eachother really freaks out aroaces. 

5.  it's impossible to curate a monolithic online space that will meet the needs of every single member of the aro community. what's important is acknowledging your own biases and hearing out the perspectives of others who differ from you, and not generalizing your own experiences/needs/perspectives to the community as a whole. we can create more subgroup-oriented spaces all we want, but at the end of the day we're still part of the same larger aro community and in order for that to work out the best thing we can do is just listen to each other. 

6.  Appropriate tagging has been brought up before, perhaps a reworked umbrella tag system? Again more neutral spaces; appropriate tagging for repulsion and aversion and on the other end acceptance of a variety of topics (i.e. some people will be talking about sex and that's good and healthy, as long as it's tagged there shouldn't be an issue with that); more specific and intersectional spaces; less verbal conflation of ace and aro though I think that's been getting better? Then again a big problem is the aroace split between two communities. I unfortunately do not have any ideas for that 

7.  Provide and Aro-specific online space similar to AVEN. 

8.  trying to give a more equal focus to different subgroups maybe? coming together and caring about those whose experiences are slightly different from ours and giving them a platform too. encouraging diversity 

9.  i'm not sure but it starts by making spaces outside of discourse. blogs like "aro-soulmate-project" are especially important to me because they address not only intra and outside community issues, but because they create aro identity at the same time people interact. 

10.  Idk put everything in the tag it belongs in (aroace content in aro, ace and aroace tags, general aro content in aro aroace and alloaro tags, and alloaro content in aro and alloaro tags, etc) and stop harassing each other. Groups might benefit from ace chat channels and allosexual chat channels? But idk if that's too divisive in some opinions 

11.  Group chats? More posts combining the communities? Spreading the love to everybody everywhere! 

12.  Open discussion 

13.  Since aro communities are extremely small and have been largely ignored-even by the a-spec community-it is up to the a-spec (yes, this includes alloaces) community to be more inclusive when making a-spec positive/information posts while also making more efforts to reblog diverse aro discourse so that aro people get a chance to speak. 

14.  Different tags/ smaller chatrooms. Probably tags people can follow or block 

15.  Better tagging systems, breaking down assumptions and not projecting one's one experience of identity onto everybody else who happens to be aro, creating sub-communities that are specifically suited for a specific subgroup's needs while still being united as the general aro community 

16.  On tumblr, proper tagging of content. 

17.  I think something that would actually help is like an aroace specific forum. We have arocalypse but that seems to be mostly alloaros and I want a forum where I can be aroace and not have to pick sides 

18.  Tag things accordingly 

19.  As I mentioned before, I'm not really involved in community discussions beyond reading about them, but coming up with a standard tagging system seems to be a start. 

20.  Often these needs have been met, though there could be a better job of say tagging 'romance' for repulsed aros and we need to open up space for both romo repulsed and positive to speak at the same time 

21.  I don't know. The internet is too big to manage. I think of the internet as more of many different spaces

How do we meet all of these needs within an in-person space?

1.  Represent everyone, let people speak, let people correct you, aim to make friends, remember that we're all under the A together.

2.  Same as above

3.  Stop generalizing and start being inclusive with language. There’s a big difference.

4.  Listen, if no one ever walks up to me and says "Hey, [name], you're ace right?" just because I told them I was aro and they forgot, I will be happy.

5.  i suppose the same rules apply. listening, providing spaces for subgroups to talk about specific issues, etc.

6.  Similar to previous answer, but spaces advertised as neutral or with multiple groups need to be more explicit in inclusion of a variety of experiences and topics. There are ways to manage this so everyone is in understanding and comfortable, namely just good communication (hence being explicit) and systems of feedback

7.  Queer spaces just need to be informed that the usual a-spec narrative is not the only one. But this will change as people share their experiences.

8.  more aro awareness alongside but also differentiated from ace awareness, and all this coupled with a focus on acceptance rather than identification

9.  A case by case basis? I guess? It'd depend on the scope of the space

10.  Booths at Pride recognizing the lesser known orientations. Doesn’t even have to be booths! Pins, stickers, t-shirts work just fine. Maybe a logo for a-spec, aro-spec, and aroace staying that we are all united.

11.  have info that includes all of us eg. pamphlets don't have the ace flag everywhere and acknowledge that their are aspecs who experience romantic or sexual attraction, and that not everyone uses the sam.

12.  I have only come across one aspec space in-person but it is in the form of a discussion group and everyone is allo ace so I feel extremely unwelcome. I wish there were more resources about aromanticism I could bring to these groups.

13.  For one: language is important. Renaming everything to a-spec meetups/groups instead of ace meetups/groups makes the other identity more welcomed and higher possibilities of growing the community. Again, there are more aces out there than aros at the moment, so it is up to those ace groups to make it more inclusive to all a-spec people. We're a community in this together wheter you feel a certain identity or not. That's what being Queer's all about.

14.  Create an aro-space first... Then events for sub-groups only where they can talk amongst themselves but also community events

15. Have a large variety of arospec spaces to choose from so that everyone can have their needs met

16.  Talk about all aspects, let people voice their experiences and find common ground

17.  I don't participate in in-person communities. Partly because I'm not out to more than just a few friends, and partly because I wouldn't want to go to one and be the stereotypical aroace. I feel both far too representative of both the aro and ace communities, and also not part of either. And thanks to the discourse, I'm not convinced I'd be welcome at a queer meetup at all. In addition, I've already mentioned before that just bringing up my experiences as either an ace or an aro tends to be a conversation-killer. So, I guess it rolls back around to visibility. Making others aware of our existence so that when aro experiences DO come up in in-person conversations, we can avoid the uncomfortable, awkward silences that follow. And I think that can only be done by talking about them.

18.  I'll eat my hat the day that I manage to find a sizable in-person space for aces or aros

How do we reconcile conflicting needs?

1.  I believe this question is far too subjective to each instance that has and will pop up. Which is no help unfortunately.

2.  We accept that sometimes someone needs these needs and someone else needs other needs. Also we ask what people's needs are before we assume their needs.

3.  By talking out our issues civilly and talking about what bothers us so we can accommodate and adapt as needed if needed, and filter out people who just make the community toxic.

4.  Live and let live. Talk it out. Find a solution rather than growing increasingly angry. Literally anything that’s not cocooning away in indignation, we are supposed to be a community.

5.  i don't think our needs actually conflict, for the most part. with the exception of greyro/arospec folks needing space to talk about romance and romance repulsed folks needing to get away from it. but that can be solved by tagging things (at least in the case of online spaces). i think a lot of our perceived conflict comes from the conflation of different issues. for example, giving alloaros room to exist apart from asexuality and giving aroaces room to navigate that awkward space in between aren't inherently mutually exclusive. i recognize that striking that sort of balance is easier said than done, but i think if it were easy we wouldn't be having this discussion at all. we're a diverse population and our needs are ALWAYS going to differ. but we're also always going to overlap in a lot of ways, which is why the aro community exists to begin with.

6.  Imagine you have a spoiled child. You can do everything in your power to give them what they need. Do you think it will be ever enough? Oh, but what's worse, by concentrating on the spoiled child, you completely forgot you have a second one, starving in the corner.

7.  Give each person a choice in the language they use and don't force anyone into an identity/stereotype of aspec experience that doesn't fit. Just listen to people.

8.  By giving space for both and working out compromises or plans of action

9.  Definitely not fuckin argue for weeks and attack one another, discourse only fragments our tiny movement

10.  Set up a time for when allo aro can talk about their experience and the way their identities interact. This lets aroace choose whether they want to come or not. The usual meeting should be a time where any aroace, allo aro, and non-sam using aro can talk about being aro. Or for aros to just meet and interact.

11.  a group discussion where everyone can share their experiences but also safe spaces for aroaces / alloaces / nonsam aros /grayros to talk so ppl can discuss if someone hurt them or made them feel excluded in the group discussion and so they can talk about things that are specific to their smaller communities

12.  Open discussion and properly tagging things

13.  Aro people have been patient. Ace and ace-spec people need to recognize that their exclusive behaviors are mirroring the same horrible mentality that exclusionists in the LGBT+ have. Also recognize that ignoring (or consistently forgetting) the identity is a form of the excluding that identity in regards to posts that are suppose to be a-spec/Queer/LGBTIA+ positive/informative.

14.  Respect and communication, separate spaces when necessary

15.  Creating sub-communities that can prioritize a specific group's needs in that space while not conflicting with the general aro community.

16.  Idk like listen to eachother?

17.  The people who have a problem avoid? Idk

18.  honestly don't know. I absolutely understand the frustrations of alloaros getting ace posts in the aro tags, and I understand the frustrations of aroaces posting their experiences and being told those tags don't belong. I think the ace community as a whole needs to be made aware that the aro tag is not a dumping ground for ace-specific posts, and that if they want to include support and positivity and include the aro tag, then the post needs to INCLUDE US. I think a lot of frustration on all sides right now is that aromanticism comes off as asexuality's afterthought, and I don't think any of us as aros feel that way. I don't think we need a full break from the ace community, and I think we need to stop blaming aroaces when we make relevant posts to the aro tag, since I suspect quite a bit of this issue is from people who legitimately don't realize that aro tags are not the same as ace tags (i.e. ace positivity blogs that post something relevant to ace experiences and think they're being inclusive by "including" aros, because "we're all aspec, just swap out the 'sexual attraction' for 'romantic attraction'!"). But I, as an ace, am of the opinion that the ace community as a whole needs a solid kick in the pants to get them to work with us on cleaning up the tags and acknowledging that aros aren't just aces with a word swap, that we have our own significantly different concerns and ways to navigate the world that aces can't understand. But here's the problem, too. The ace community is one of the larger "aro" voices right now because the aro community is really quiet. Yes, we have our voices, but if you go looking for ace spaces, you find them. You find them in spades. You go looking for aro spaces? You have to dig. You almost have to know what you're looking for before you can find it. I see aros submitting asks on ace blogs, asking where to go to find aro-specific blogs, and there's always only a handful of suggestions. I think a lot of the reason aroaces seem so visible is because we -are- in the ace spaces, talking, and the ace spaces are big. The aromantic community's biggest priority right now is to grow and be heard.

19.  fuck idk tbh the most we can really do is post about it and hope people see and listen

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Outlaw Groups (Claimers, Wolves, Librarians and Highwaymen) and Their TD Connection

Okay, let’s talk about these fringe groups that come and go in the show. It’s something we’ve obviously seen many times. While many groups and communities have come and gone, my criteria here are groups that really aren’t fully explored on the show. 

We generally see them for a very short time (1-3 episodes, for the most part) and we don’t find out much about who they are or were before the apocalypse happened. No details. No back story. We basically have to make judgements about them based on their interactions, or lack thereof, with TF. I’m going to divide the ones we’ve seen into “good” groups and “bad” groups. We’ll start with the baddies.

Claimers:

Daryl met them in 4x13. Right after he was separated from Beth. (Just saying.) While the Claimers were obviously not good people, they were also one big question mark. We never found out who they were or how the apocalypse went for them. We just knew that they had survived thus far and were introduced to their system (claiming).

Three episodes later, in 4x16, Rick/Daryl/Michonne wiped them out.

To be fair, we did get a little more back story for them in The Red Machete, but that was really just more of the same Important, symbolically, but it didn’t really tell us much more about them as people than we already knew. They were bad. They were bullies. Killed people when they felt like it, etc.

The Wolves:

While they were overtly much more brutal than the Claimers, their structure and function in the story is very similar. Joe Claimer pretended to be an honorable guy, while the Wolves just went all machete-happy on everyone (note the machete connection there), but both ended up being baddies. Both were only around for a few episodes.

We did see signs of the wolves in 5x09 (right after Beth was shot; just saying) 

but we didn’t actually see them until 5x16, when they killed Red Poncho Guy. 

(Red poncho in Beth’s cell in 4x01; again, just saying.) 

So we officially met them in 5x16 and TF—mostly Carol and Rick—wiped them out only three episodes later in 6x02. 

So I think you can see the parallels. In both cases, they were bad groups who weren’t fleshed out in great detail, but hurt or tried to hurt TF in some way, and had to be taken care of.  (And, they both had oblique ties to Beth. Once more time, just saying. 😉)

Now a couple of “good” groups we’ve seen this with. 

Let me give a disclaimer that we don’t actually know how good these groups are. Because they aren’t fleshed out well, it’s hard to know much at all about their character, because we aren’t told who they are, their back story, or what kind of deeds they’ve done. But they aren’t enemies of TF, anyway. And unless we learn something different about them, I’m calling that good enough to label them “good.”

The Librarians:

This is a big one. We probably know less about this group than any of the others, but this group had a LOT of Beth-ish symbolism around them. We only really saw them in 6x16, when at least two members were killed by the Saviors for having broken Negan’s rules.

Beth symbolism around them? A few different things come to mind that were happening in that episode.

1.    The Xs for one thing, which is big. (X = Beth).

2.    Carnid. I always thought the opening montage where we see the Librarian guy running from the Saviors was interesting. It’s alternated with Carl and Enid having an argument about her going with them. You can check out my analysis of it HERE, but it always smacked of a Bethyl thing to me.

3.    The Librarian guy who is killed at the beginning is hung off the bridge later, while stuff burns down. So we have someone that may represent Beth (because of the X) going off the side of the bridge. And yes I get that this dude obviously doesn’t survive where others who go off bridges (Daryl, Carol, Tara, etc) do, but the motif is still there.

4.    The RV. There’s an RV involved later when Negan takes Rick back to this bridge and kicks him out into the horde of walkers. Remember that per Dale’s speech in S1, the RV represents the passage of time and how it affects people. Then there’s that pesky clock in Still that read “time escapes.”

So yeah, lots of Beth symbolism going on there. Not to mention, last week I talked about the book motif a little bit. That we saw “new dawn” written on a book in 4a and Daryl had lots of books in his camp this past season. We’ve actually seen this kind of thing a lot. 

Tptb use books often for symbolism, even when it doesn’t have anything to do directly with Beth. But it often does. We had the books at the veterinary college in 4a, the book store in 5x05, which was chalk full of TD symbolism (X). In 6x16 with the librarians, Carol and Morgan stopped at the library, so we saw a lot of books there. We even saw a library in FTWD this past season, amidst a lot of the same symbolism.

We even saw a book just before Coda. Remember the book Daryl picked up on victims of childhood abuse. We saw him carry that around in his arms for a while during 6a. So if the books represent Beth…

Though, to be fair, I don’t think the books represent Beth directly. I think they represent healing (Daryl was trying to heal himself before 6x06 happened and he gave up) and starting anew. Hence, the New Dawn theory being associated with the books.

So, here’s the loony part of my theory for today. In the RV sequence in 6x16, Rick is flailing in a horde of walkers and ends up jumping from the roof of the RV on the librarian guy hanging off the bridge. You know, the one with the big X spray painted on him. In a way, doing that saves Rick. It buys him some time until he can figure something else out.

So, the walker horde. (X) This is a major theme when the death fake out happens. We have evidence there was a walker horde involved in Beth’s body being left behind. There was definitely one involved in Glenn’s death fake out from 6x03 – 6x07, and obvious there was one involved with Rick’s when he went off the bridge in 9x05.

So I’m thinking that this bit in 6x16 may have foreshadowed Rick’s death fake out in a way.

But if that’s true, it also supports the idea of him ending up in the same place Beth is. Because we have the walker horde and Rick fighting to survive. Meanwhile, if the librarian represents Beth, Rick leaps onto this guy to save himself. Almost like Beth will save Rick after the bridge incident in some way.

You could also see it as the Librarian representing the helicopter that took Rick away, thus kind of saving his life. But the helicopter is a symbol of Beth as well, so it all works together.

See why the Librarian thing is kinda huge?

 Highwaymen:

Okay, final group is the Highwaymen from this past season. Again, it’s hard to know much for certain about this group, but in the end they died trying to save several members of TF from the Whisperers, so I think we can safely lump them into the “good” group.

The parallels between them and the other groups are as follows: Beth symbolism (leader wore a sheriff-like hat, there was mention of romance novels around them, a few other details I pointed out in 9b), not fully fleshed out or given back story, and only stayed around for a handful of episodes, which seemed almost wasteful in terms of the story line, but obviously they’ve done this several times.

So what does this mean? What does it lead to? We think it could be a template of Beth’s return, and I’ll get to some possibilities here in the next little while, but there’s also the Outlaw Theme.

All of these groups have an outlaw theme to them. We’ve always talked about the outlaw vibe around the Claimers. They had a (stupid) code they lived by, but they just FELT like an old west gang. The kind that roles into town, robs the bank and conducts a shootout at the O.K. Corral.

The Wolves are obvious, since they were evil anyway. Definitely outlaws rather than law-abiding citizens.

The Librarians aren’t outlaws in quite as obvious a way, at least not where TF is concerned. But they got into trouble for breaking Negan’s rules, so they were living outside of his laws, at the least. And of course the Highwaymen, well, called themselves Highwaymen, which is a direct synonym for outlaws.

Also remember that in S7, Daryl and Richard argued in front of the Smokey and the Bandit trailer. They even pointed that out on TTD, which means they really wanted us to notice it.

So what does it all mean? What will it lead to? Obviously it’s hard to predict details and any such predictions are all just conjecture, but given all the Beth-ish symbolism in these groups, we think it’s a foreshadow of her return in some way. 

Maybe she’ll return with a group like this, run into one, lead one? We just don’t know. But it’s a good motif to recognize and keep in mind as we move forward. I can’t help but think that the group on Fear could conceivably be a group like this. Obviously we know a lot about them, but no one else in TF does, so there’s that. 

Anyway, just wanted to point out all these connections. Thanks, as always to @wdway for her heavy contributions to this theory. Thoughts?

[independentartistbuzz]

7 From The Women is a segment here on Independent Artist Buzz where we ask some of the industries finest seven questions. During this time of accusations and the lack thereof, we think it’s important to give women a voice. We chose to ask seven questions to honor the seven Wiccan clans.

Kristen Rae Bowden is a beautiful turmoil of tenderness and willfulness. It’s a paradoxical sentiment also evident in her artistic sensibilities. In her upcoming debut, Language and Mirrors, she fluidly, and authentically, inhabits earthy Americana and majestic orchestral rock.

What have you been working to promote lately?

In November 2018 I released my first album, entitled “Language and Mirrors.” On March 15 2019 I will release my first music video from the album. The video is for my song “It Isn’t About You.”

I wrote “It Isn’t About You” while living in a screened-in-shack with no power on the Big Island of Hawaii. I was 22, fresh from college, excited by the idea of living “off the grid”, and very much in love with a young man whose family owned land in Hawaii. After we moved there, however, our relationship quickly deteriorated, practically turning to dust before my eyes. I felt powerless to save it, or leave.

I found myself on a metaphorical island, as well as a real one, and my feeling of isolation stemmed from my obsession with the unhealthy relationship. It became difficult for me to imagine myself outside of it; I no longer felt whole on my own.

Even without electricity, I remained a night owl. I stayed up alone in the tiny dark house on the edge of the jungle, drinking wine, and writing poetry by candlelight. This is how I wrote “It Isn’t About You”: as part of a long, freeform poem. (It is one of my only songs where I wrote the lyrics first.)

Later, I put the poem to music, after I finally got the courage to leave the relationship, and I’d steadied my mind. The song is about making that return to yourself and your own joys, strengths, and needs. It is also about taking responsibility for your own choices, so that you never feel (unnecessarily) like a victim, and you can move on.

The music video for “It Isn’t About You” will premiere on Facebook Premiere on Friday March 15 at 1:00 pm.

Please tell us about your favorite song written, recorded or produced by another woman and why it’s meaningful to you.

I think, after all these years, my favorite track written by a woman is still Joni Mitchell’s “A Case of You”. The melody starts out conversational, understated, and then it soars! The simplicity of the instrumentation creates such an intimate experience, you feel like she’s in your living room, singing right in your ear. You hear every word, which is perfect because her lyrics go straight to the heart.

The beauty of the poem alone overwhelms me. Joni has a way of writing lyrics that are very specific to her own experience, and full of imagery, but when I listen to them, I feel like they are about me too. Much like an abstract painting where different people will see different things, Joni’s artful words allow you to color them with your own experience. This makes me feel truly known, and comforted somehow as a human being, because I know I’m not alone.

What does it mean to you to be a woman making music/in the music business today and do you feel a responsibility to other women to create messages and themes in your music?

When I decided I wanted to become a career musician, I didn’t think at all about my gender. I just knew I wanted to make music; that’s all I thought about.

Now, I believe that as a woman in the music industry, I have the opportunity to showcase a more feminine (as in the divine) incarnation of strength. As a culture I think we view strength in a very masculine way; it often means hardness, stoicism. I believe we tend to ignore the strength that it takes to be vulnerable... the strength that lies in open-heartedness and flexibility. After all, a branch that cannot bend is more likely to break. In my songs, I find myself wanting to express this: how brave one must be to remain open-hearted. I think it is something I have to offer that has to do with my womanhood and femininity.

When I write I honestly don’t feel a responsibility to create certain messages and themes in my music. I write according to my feelings, so those end up being the messages and themes. However, when I write a song about a certain moment in my life, I definitely listen critically to the song and ask myself what kind of message it is going to send into the world.

Once I wrote a song about a previous boyfriend cheating on me with a girl who I really thought was my friend. They both lied to me about it for several weeks. It was overwhelmingly hurtful. Some men say they have a “bro’s code” to not let women come between them. So, I wrote this song about the lack of a “girls code”, and basically sang about how I knew my boyfriend at the time was going to lie to me, that was obvious. But I never expected my woman friend to be a part of it, sneaking around and lying to me also.

Later I realized I couldn’t release the song, because of the message one might take from it. My lyrics ended up sounding too much like a woman who blames the other woman when her significant other lies to her, instead of holding him responsible, and also taking responsibility for the choice she has made to be with him. What that particular “friend” did to me was unkind, but I don’t ever want to sound like a woman who puts other women down as a group. I didn’t want to risk being interpreted in that way.

I hope to be a voice of catharsis, empowerment, and empathy.

What is the most personal thing you have shared in your music or in your artist brand as it relates to being female?

My most personal song is “My Father’s Daughter”. My Dad was an extremely charismatic, artistic, and captivating man. He was also quite the womanizer. He passed away when I was 18, and I still miss him every single day.

I think as a girl, when you grow up with a Dad who is your absolute favorite person, but over time you learn about some of his negative proclivities, you’ll have some kind of emotional reaction. And the reaction will be based (at least in part) on how you are his daughter. If you were his son, you might respond quite differently.

“My Father’s Daughter” is really about me getting into a relationship with a man who had also lost his artistic (and womanizing) father. He had a daddy-backstory similar to mine, but he had responded in a completely different way. We could understand each other better in some ways due to the similarities in our respective Dads’ personalities, but in other ways we really had no hope of ever understanding each other.

The song also has to do with the fact that sometimes, there is no stronger bond than shared grief.

I think this is the most personal thing I’ve written as it relates to being female, because it’s specific to what we would call “Daddy issues”. Anyone can have Daddy issues, regardless of their gender, but being female definitely effects how these complicated feelings play out in one’s life. This is true for me, at least.

What female artists have inspired you and influenced you?

So many! I’ve already mentioned Joni Mitchell. I just finished reading “Just Kids” and Patti Smith is a poetic hero. Others include Joan Jett, Nina Simone, Bonnie Raitt, Aretha Franklin, Patsy Cline, Erykah Badu, Zap Mama, Emmylou Harris, Iris DeMent, Janis Joplin, Grace Slick, Stevie Nicks, Carole King, Amy Winehouse, Bjork, Lady Gaga, Billie Holiday, Ani DiFranco, and Tracy Chapman.

Who was the first female artist you saw that made you want to create music / be in the business?

When I was 19, my sister and I went to see Ani DiFranco. I remember loving how the audience was overwhelmingly female, right as I walked in. I noted to myself how rare it is to be in the company of mostly women, at least for me. Ani sang her songs and I think everyone in the theater was affected, you could just feel it in the air. I laughed and I cried. I marveled at how she connected with each member of the audience personally ; she made each of us feel like we’d met her. Each of her songs consistently blew me away with her confessional storytelling. She stirred my emotions and completely inspired me.

The next night I went into a practice room at my college, played the piano, and wrote my first real song. I didn’t mean to write it ; it surprised me. It was about my Dad dying, which had happened about a year before. I scribbled it on a cocktail napkin that I’ve saved ever since.

Do you consider yourself a feminist? If so why and if not why?

I definitely consider myself a feminist. Women deserve equal rights and bodily autonomy, period. I grew up very privileged, in a community/culture that told me I could be anything I wanted, so I have to admit I was rather shocked to find out that some people still think women aren’t supposed to do certain jobs or have certain roles in life. I also grew up in a very homogenous community. For a long time I was very ignorant when it comes to the idea of intersectional feminism, and I still have a lot to learn about how feminism can exclude the experiences and points of view of women of color and LGBTQ women. It is important to me to be an ally to all women, especially those in minority communities, as they are the ones who are most effected by sexism and discrimination. Learning how to be a good ally is an ongoing process, and I consider it my responsibility to educate myself about issues outside of my personal experience. All in all, I am a feminist because women are still so marginalized, all over the world. Women’s rights are human rights, and as long as things remain unbalanced, this deserves our constant attention.

Connect with Kristen online:

https://www.kristenraebowden.com

https://www.facebook.com/KristenRaeBowden/

https://www.instagram.com/kristenraebowden/

https://twitter.com/bowdenrae?lang=en

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0PPhdmifjwxW8fkF_CxIoQ

https://kristenraebowden.tumblr.com/

https://open.spotify.com/artist/2mi6KqRPH72KiS6r1A9ePI?nd=1

https://soundcloud.com/kristenraebowden

https://kristenraebowden.bandcamp.com/releases

[the-redhead-who-writes]

His True Colours

“We finally get Jack’s green hair back! ...But what do we lose in return?”

Readers beware, you’re in for a scare! ...I’m only kidding. This is just a story idea I’ve been messing with! ‘Cause let’s face it: if Jack ever does dye his hair again, you know he’s gonna make a big deal out of it. So dorks, here’s a late-night spook/theory for you to enjoy!

Links: AO3

It’s been a few weeks since Jack returned from his “How Did We Get Here?” tour, the shows having gone down a smashing success. Those in attendance raved about the theatrics from the natural born showman, with everything from the audience interaction to the special effects working to create an unforgettable performance.

The fans that couldn’t make it to the shows contributed to the hype online, taking to social media and creating a tidal wave of incredible stories, edits, and art. The pieces ranged with everything from fluff to angst, starring Jack and all of the beloved Egos.

Jackieboyman fist bumping Spider-Man; Schneeplestein leering menacingly at the viewer, wielding a needle that definitely wasn’t regulation length; Chase with a variety of flower crowns. The works radiated with the passion and love the community held for both Jack and his characters.

And then, there was Anti.

Cryptic zalgo text littered every fans feed. The familiar lines of "D͏i͞d ̷yo͞u ̵miss̢ me̢?̧” and "You͘ s͢t̢o͝p͟ped pay̕in̛g̢ a͟tt͝eńtio͝ǹ!̡" were eerie reminders of the virus’s ever-lingering presence. The fandom was itching with pent-up fervour, as though Anti had somehow wormed his way under their very skin.

Poems, theories, art; he had it all. 

The only difference was something that the untrained eye might not notice.

It was now old news that Jack had dyed his once-green hair back to its natural brown shade after years of the trademark look. And yes, the fans were sad to see it go. Each Ego sported one of Jack’s varying shades of green. It had been around for the creation of Anti, Schneep, Marvin... everyone!

The community moved on though, deciding that even if Jack had his brown hair back, the Egos could still keep their signature shades.

Except for Anti.

After all, Anti was a virus who depended on Jack’s body to survive. He didn’t have his own, so he should share Jack’s traits, right? It might not have made perfect sense, but the community seemed to accept the general idea, as was evident with nearly every piece of Anti art mirroring Jack’s brown hair, with the rest of the Egos staying the same.

No harm done, it was just the fandom taking creative license.

Cut to another morning upload, where Jack has just posted a brand new “SepticArt” video, the theme being art related to the tour or that period of time while he was away.

He’s as upbeat as usual, excitedly chattering away about all of his favourite moments while pouring over dozens of brilliant submissions.

A few minutes into the video, Jack pulls up an edit of Anti on stage at one of his past shows. He makes a remark about its complexity, and how well done it is, before noting the caption at the bottom:

“A little Anti takeover from Jack’s show in Texas! Forgive the blurry edges, kinda new to this style. And tbh, I’m still not used to brown-haired Anti. Looks good, but I miss our green Glitch Boy. Wonder if we’ll get to see him again haha.“

Jack laughs, reflexively running a hand through the front of his messy hair that’s not tucked into his beanie.

“Yeah, I got that question a lot while I was on tour. And I’m not sure; I mean, never say never, but I’m pretty happy with my natural hair. It’s less of a pain in the ass to take care of, that’s for sure.”

His hand lingers in his fringe for just a second more before he thanks the artist and carries on.

This time it’s a Marvin picture; the Magician is skillfully shuffling a deck of playing cards, grinning. His neon green bangs hang messily over his signature cat mask.

Jack points out his love of the bold line use, though he pauses at the hair. His eyes narrow ever so slightly, but his smile is still as bright as ever.

Then there’s a sketch of Chase, who’s excitedly comparing a befuddled JJ to the box art of the Monopoly Man while they try to play said board game.

Jack chuckles, hand going to rub his throat absentmindedly.

A watercolour of Anti from the back, his dark hair a stark contrast silhouetted against the bright green background of a not-so-friendly looking Sam whose teeth glint with moisture.

Jack grips his mouse a bit tighter.

Schneeplestein happily writing a postcard on some tropical beach, lab coat and all, dark green roots visible under his hat.

Jack cracks his neck.

As the video carries on, there’s a distinct tension in the YouTuber: his body twitches imperceptibly; his hands clenching into fists before quickly loosening; he can’t stop touching his throat.

A newcomer to Jack’s channel might write this off as excitement, his energy getting the better of him. The more experienced members of his community, however, begin to feel nervous.

Still, Jack is as taken with his community’s artistic endeavours as always. The smile on his face proves that.

It’s wide, teeth bared for all to see.

The video is almost finished, with Jack coming to the last piece. He once again thanks everyone who participated, saying how he would be nothing without them.

The theorists release a breath. 

Everything was fine; just their typical overactive imaginations. Nothing to worry about.

With an eager grin, Jack pulls up the final entry. 

It’s a stunning digital drawing of a bathroom mirror taken from the YouTuber’s perspective as he stares at his reflection, clutching a porcelain sink.

It smirks back, smile unnaturally wide. He eyes Jack with a blackened gaze, eagerly assessing him for even a hint of weakness. Blood from several crude, deep cuts in his throat drips down into his shirt collar. The knife responsible lays in the sink, crimson coating the blade.

From the angle, you’d swear it was Anti looking back at himself, sickly pleased with his deranged handiwork. The tell is the gauges and Jack’s lack thereof; the man you’re seeing the perspective from is without them.

Jack stares at the drawing, his gaze transfixed. For a split-second, you think to refresh the video, believing it to have lagged. The music Robin added into the background is gone, and the webcam footage seems frozen...

And then he’s throwing his head back, laughing as he grips his sides.

“That’s a helluva drawing! God, do you see the detail?! Anti looks badass!”

He’s positively giddy, scanning every inch of the artwork with rapt enthusiasm. He begins to say something about the shading as he brings the picture out of fullscreen view. Then his laughter cuts off abruptly, smile tightening. He scrolls down to highlight the artist’s note:

“Those 20 hours were all worth it! Here’s my entry for Jack’s #SepticArt event; I call it “Two-Way Mirror”! I’m really happy with how it turned out, though I was a little worried about how I’d draw the differences for Anti’s reflection. With his brown hair, how can you even tell the two of them apart? 😆 Anyway, hope you guys like it!”

His expression becomes flat. He stares with an unwavering intensity that leaves goosebumps on your skin.

“...The same...?”

Jack mutters the phrase so quietly, it’s almost indecipherable.

“You really think... we’re the same?”

A hollow chuckle spews from his lips, and then it grows into a laugh; high-pitched and cold. In a blur, he slams his fist down onto his desk, and even off-screen, you can hear his keyboarding shattering. His lips are pulled back into a hideous snarl, a grotesque mask of fury.

“I’m nothing like him. N̞͔̤̤̺͖ͅOT̼̱̪̬̹��H̗͝I̶̲̰̘̠̹N͉͚̖̤̳̻G͓͈̩̣͎̝͞.

The man’s eyes widen fearfully, seemingly at the sound of his own voice. His rage gives way to panic as he falls forward in his seat, clutching his head with a pained groan.

Jack’s body shudders, racked by waves of tremors as his knuckles strain white, nails digging into the arms of his chair. The camera feed is breaking apart, glitching between frames of Jack clawing at his forearms, his neck. His breathing is erratic, mumbles falling from his mouth - desperate, rambling pleas.

Then he’s still.

Too still.

Jack lets out a heavy breath, relieved - no, satisfied - before sitting up slowly. His beanie has been knocked off, his usual fluffy hair on full display.

All eyes are immediately on his neck and - oh... it’s untouched. For a moment, the viewers feel a spike of relief, hearts slamming into their throats. But then Jack opens his eyes, and their blood runs cold.

Black. Darker than any art or edit could even attempt to capture.

He sits back, almost lounging in Jack’s gaming chair, as he takes a deep breath in. Cracking his knuckles, he rolls his neck in a series of jerky moves before closing his eyes again. And in one smooth motion, he runs his hand through the front of Jack’s hair.

His fingers pass through the strands, adjusting the colour as it melts in. The brown lightens to blonde, then grows brighter. The green hue radiates with an unnatural sheen.

Stopping at the fringe, he lowers his hand to reveal the change; familiar, yet not. Wrong.

Anti opens his eyes, a wickedly pleased smirk playing across his lips as he leans toward the camera.

“Are͏ ya͝ ̡f́uck͞i̛n̛’ ̛ha͠p͞py͏ now̶?͝”

He giggles with twisted glee, hair falling into his eyes as he tips his head forward. Then he stops, and looks up through his bangs, glaring into the camera with a ferocity that dares anyone watching to defy him.

“Ỳou͡’̴ve͠ ͠had̷ yǫur ͢fun, bu̧t̢ d͡on’t fuc̕ki͞n̸’͟ ͝f̷orģet w̢ḩo ͠I ̷a͘m͢, w̢ḩat ͠I ̷a͘m͢. A̧n̸d thąt͠’s n̛oţ h̢im.͘”

The camera is shoved to the floor. The lens cracks, spider-webbing across the screen before it cuts to black. Echoing laughter grows distant as Anti walks away.

There is no second upload that day.

[fyrbol]

SPOTTING MANIPULATORS ONLINE.

in light of a lot of people feeling manipulated by a friend they trusted,  i thought it might be in everyone’s interest to list some of the signs to look out for   !   manipulation is an everyday thing   —   you’re not stupid for not realising and you are entirely justified in whatever anger or upset you may be feeling.   it is,  at its simplest,  a form of pure exploitation and you’ll find it’s sadly happened to more people in the tumblr roleplay community than you might think.

001.   GUILT TRIPPING.

big red flag.   making you feel anxious or upset about who you choose to interact with,  pressuring you into making graphics to gain their approval,  getting hostile or dismissive   (   think of the silent treatment   )   when things don’t go their way.   a surplus of passive aggressive posts or vagueblogging with the intent of making the dash feel bad,  either for not interacting with them or for interacting with someone else.

002.   IGNORANCE.

ignoring your input on a decision   (   or just not asking for your input entirely   )   is also another sign.   this can often come into play with regards to force shipping,  acting as if that romantic dynamic has been agreed upon without really showing any consideration for whether or not you actually wanted it to happen.   this may also escalate to putting down your inputs in a condescending manner,  so please look out for people trying to make your views seem less important than theirs.

003.   PRESSURE.

pressuring you for replies elevates your stress levels and,  again,  shows no consideration for your boundaries or capabilities.   pressuring you to write threads with content you’re not comfortable with,  to get to their replies quickly,  to be online more than you are,  etc.

004.   COMMUNICATION.

or moreso the lack thereof.   if they are unwilling to resolve disputes through healthy communication,  a lot of tension is left brushed under the carpet to seethe.   if someone is ignoring you after an argument,  but pretends nothing happened the next day,  this may be a sure sign of manipulation.   in addition,  a lot of people will only talk to you when they need something.   if a supposed friend isn’t showing interest in your wellbeing and only comes to you for favours,  or to vent,  you might want to evaluate how balanced your friendship is.

005.   APOLOGIES.

apologies in themselves are mature and often necessary.   being able to admit your own faults and mend bridges is a huge skill,  but you do need to look out for insincere apologies.   apologies that ultimately end up making you feel bad are often another form of guilt-tripping and ultimately do nothing to correct whatever mistakes have been made. apologies need to acknowledge what was wrong and why,  as well as ideally setting goals to improve the situation moving forwards.   mental illness may be used to explain behaviour,  but not to justify it.

006.   INSULTS.

this is definitely one you’ll need to gauge yourself,  as a lot of friendships involve playful insults which are ultimately harmless.   if someone is insulting you in ways that you aren’t comfortable with   (   and worse,  if they continue once asked not to   )   then they are again not showing all too much consideration for your personal thoughts and feelings.

007.   DEMANDS.

constant requests and demands can often be made of roleplayers,  particularly with graphics.   i’ve seen many a person used solely to make a supposed friend some icons,  a psd,  a theme,  code some html,  the list goes on and on.   this may be rewarded with approval,  and you might feel pressured to make graphics for a manipulator to maintain their friendship.

008.   HISTORY.

finally,  sometimes your best signs will come from other people.   be conscious of how this person interacts with other people,  as manipulation is sometimes easier to spot when it’s happening to someone other than you.   see if they quickly move from group to group,  or seem to ditch former roleplay partners once the next best thing comes along.   popularity is a huge priority for some people and if they’re paying more attention to this than the people they’re interacting with,  this could be a warning sign  !

if you think you might exhibit some of these behaviours,  please don’t panic   !   i’m not about to wave my pitchforks on a witch hunt and deem you a manipulator.   nobody’s perfect.   i’m sure we’ve all done at least one of these points on one occasion or another,  but the focus is on avoiding these behaviours and striving to improve your attitudes towards other people.   examining your own actions is super important and i hope that you can take something away from this so we can all learn from each other   !

these are all based on personal experience and will of course vary from case to case.   ultimately,  you do have to make your own judgment and i can’t make that for you,  but i hope these pointers help you   !   i’m always here to talk if you just need to vent,  as i know what being stuck in a situation like that can feel like and i will do my best to help you ease through it.   ♡

[linuxgamenews]

ENCODYA puzzle adventure launches on Linux

ENCODYA point and click adventure releases with a discount for Linux, Mac and Windows PC. Thanks to developer Chaosmonger Studio and publisher Assemble Entertainment. Available now on Steam and GOG with 80% Positive reviews. The Bladerunner meets Full Throttle point and click adventure game releases. While ENCODYA is now available. But in classic Assemble Entertainment fashion. A special “Save the World” edition is also available. Which comes with the official artbook, soundtrack, several “making-of” videos. Also, gorgeous high definition wallpapers. In keeping with the game’s theme. For every “Save the World” edition sold, Assemble will donate 10% of the proceeds to the children’s charity Plan International. Since this is an organization that works to advance children’s rights and equality for girls worldwide. ENCODYA follows in the footsteps of beloved titles like Monkey Island and Day of the Tentacle. While including a hefty dose of dystopian cyberpunk stylings. Join the plucky ragamuffin Tina and her best pal. The imposing mass of metal and wiring named SAM-53. While they navigate the gritty streets of Neo-Berlin. Tina and SAM-53 must use their wits to help fix society. Since mankind has become hopelessly addicted to technology. Allowing them to ignore the plight of their city and waste their days in a virtual world.

ENCODYA | Release Trailer (Linux, Mac, Windows PC)

“It’s been a long journey with plenty of blood, sweat, and tears. All to get ENCODYA into the hands of players,” said Nicola Piovesan, Founder of Chaosmonger Studio. “We here at Chaosmonger poured our hearts and souls into this project. And can’t wait to see people join Tina and SAM-53 on their quest to save Neo Berlin.”

Key Features:

Bring Your Michelin Guide: Neo Berlin is a big city with a lot to see. So players can explore more than 100 unique locations

Thank You, Please Visit Us Again: Enjoyed your time exploring the city and want to make a return trip? Encodya features randomly generated puzzle solutions. So this adds more value to multiple playthroughs

Get Chatty with a Cast of Crazy Characters: During their journey, Tina and SAM-53 will meet all sorts of interesting people (and robots). Along with 4,000 lines of dialogue to experience. Players will also be spending plenty of time getting to know them

Keep Your Eyes Peeled: In keeping with the games by which it was inspired. ENCODYA is packed to the brim with tiny details, easter eggs, and a fully fleshed out world to explore

ENCODYA has been carefully and lovingly crafted from the ground up. Including a completely original soundtrack. All the way down to the ad jingles found across Neo Berlin. Along with 35 unique and distinctive NPCs. A cute and colorful art design with a hint of something more sinister reflects the progress. Or maybe a lack thereof. A city under siege from rampant capitalism and an overreliance on technology. Explore a beautifully realized world and solve puzzles. As a result, you can help Tina and SAM-53 bring life and love back into the city they call home.

The Release and Sale:

ENCODYA point and click adventure releases with a discount on Steam and GOG as well as and official website. While including support for Linux, Mac and Windows PC. Including the 20% discount priced at $19.99 USD for the standard edition. With the same discount for the ‘Save the World Edition’, $27.99 USD. The sale also ends on February 2nd. Keep up to date with ENCODYA by following the game on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Join the Assemble Entertainment community on Discord for even more news.

[dillydedalus]

what i read in february

check to find out if i defeated my nemesis thomas mann by reading the magic mountain or surrendered to his absolute rule over my unread books shelf

milkman, anna burns this is deeply divisive on the bookish internet apparently with fights over a) whether it’s brilliant or garbage, b) whether it’s difficult, c) whether literary difficulty is a moral issue (with both renouncers-of-milkman and defenders-of-milkman variously taking either side). here’s my lukewarm take: a) it’s good, b) it’s not that difficult but can be frustrating to read, c) it’s not a moral issue, like, obvi. anyway, y’all probably know what this is about (girl in belfast during the troubles finds herself stalked by dangerous paramilitary, gossip & violence abound). i found the decision not to use proper names, either for the characters (narrator is middle sister, other characters are ‘maybe-boyfriend’, ‘wee sisters’, ‘third brother-in-law’, etc) or the setting really interesting - it added both to the conversational feel, the paranoia in the community and the universality of themes like civil violence, paranoia, mistrust, sexual harrassment, pressure to conform etc. 4/5

paradise, a.l. kennedy (uni) idk man this is well-written and especially the writing about drunkenness & the depth of hannah’s addiction & misery (and joy, which kennedy does not avoid) is vivid, but i’m still p meh on it, and it was definitely too long for what it was doing. i’ll add more after the class where we’ll discuss it (update: the class was unfortunately a mess so I’m still ehhh about it) 2.5/5

die verängstigten, dima wannous (tr. from arabic) an english translation, the frightened ones, is coming out some time this year i think. this story is told thru two narratives, one by sulaima, a syrian woman with anxiety living in damascus, whose brother has been disappeared by the regime and whose lover nassim has fled the country, and one thru chapters of the unfinished novel nassim leaves behind for sulaima, narrated by a girl called salma, whose life story mirrors sulaima’s own. this is a very interesting set-up, and i think both the narrative structure and the combination of anxiety as a psychological illness and anxiety/paranoia as a social state caused by political repression & violence were really interesting, but sometimes the book felt a bit muddled and confusing to me. 3/5

der schlaf der gerechten, wolfgang hilbig (the sleep of the righteous) this is a collection of connected short stories set in a mining town in east germany - the first 4 stories follow the narrator figure (who’s not necessarily the same, but very similar throughout all stories) as a child and young adult, growing up in a town almost without men after world war 2, whereas the last 3 describe the narrator’s return to this town as an adult after reunification, struggling with his own and east germany’s past. i ADORED the first stories - they are insanely good, dark, atmospheric, beautifully written and so evocative of the materiality of this town, the ash, the coal, moulding fruit, gritty, grimy, ash coating everything (the blurb on the back says that your hands will come away from the pages stained with soot, and i feel that). the second set is good too, but it moves away from that sensual evocation which i loved so much. 4/5

the golden fool (tawny man #2), robin hobb y’all i really tried to read this one slowly, and it worked for four days but then i decided that i might as well read read the entire second half in one day so. anyway this is hard to talk about w/o spoiling a lot but robin hobb truly is the queen of character writing. loved the elliania plot, loved the coterie forming, loved the bingtown delegation, loved fitz and the fool having Feelings Drama (made me Big Sad tho - also fitz is my son & all but good god he can be a dumbass). i feel like this one’s mostly setting everything up for fool’s fate but it’s good. 4/5

the sixth extinction: an unnatural history, elizabeth kolbert engaging & accessible nonfiction book about extinction, including both past extinction events, the history of science about extinction and focusing on the current extinction event (with several example species, from frogs to rhinos) mostly caused by humans fucking everything up. 3/5

the course of the heart, m john harrison tbh i just didn’t get it.... maybe i’m not versed enough in gnosticism & weird esoteric shit. anyway, this is about three friends haunted by some spiritual ritual (lol) they held while at uni with a sinister guy called yaxley. you never find out what they actually did, but they construct a whole mythology about it that i uh. didn’t get. tbh i pretty much checked out halfway thru. 1.5/5

barracoon: the story of the last “black cargo”, zora neale hurston (audio) interesting & sad & really touching account of cudjo lewis, one of the last africans to be shipped to america as slaves, mainly made up of his own narrative, collected & put together by hurston. some interesting background info about how the book came to be as well. 3/5

how to survive a plague, david france in-depth account of the aids epidemic in the us, especially in new york, combining personal stories, insight into aids activism, scientific progress (and for most of the book, lack thereof) and staggering political neglect and failure. well-written, informative and well-explained but (obviously) very emotionally draining.  4/5

fool’s fate (the tawny man #3), robin hobb lmao i love emotionally dying about robin hobb books. anyway A LOT happens in this one & i was very emotional about most of it but most emotional about fitzchivalry farseer (idiot, son boy, changer) and the fool (beloved!) and my man burrich (lol say the words ‘heart of the pack’ & i’m already overwhelmed). anyway this was a very epic & hardcore emotional conclusion to this series & robin hobb may make me cry any time she wishes. 4/5, series rating 4.5/5

what it means when a man falls from the sky, lesley nneka arimah collection of short stories mostly set in nigeria and in the us. some of the stories are magical realist-y, some are more realist, but almost all are concerned with familial bonds and bondage, the complicated relationships between parents and children. the stories are well-executed and precisely told, but while i liked quite a few of the stories (esp. the title story) i just didn’t feel particularly strongly about most of them. 3/5

heimsuchung, jenny erpenbeck (visitation) another interesting take on 20th century german history from erpenbeck - this one is centred around a house by a lake in brandenburg & told thru the various people connected to the house over the years & decades, owners, visitors, neighbours, etc. it’s an interesting concept & well-executed & clever & erpenbeck can write but it kinda paled for me in comparison to her aller tage abend, which does a similar thing in very different way. 3/5

currently reading: look okay i have Not finished the magic mountain but i am still reading it so i still have a chance of defeating mann in single combat. i’m actually kinda liking it but it’s A Lot, so i’m taking it slow. also call me zebra which i am v v...... unsure about??

[clarencenicholsonata]

10 Amazing St. Patrick's Day Contest Ideas to Inspire You Today

Holiday contests are some of the best ways to boost brand awareness, social media engagement, and sales. Not to mention how much people love the fun of winning.

There’s no better time to host a contest than on an amazing holiday.

Interested in running a St. Patrick’s Day Contest?

This article will give you the 10 best St. Patricks Day Contest Ideas the capture the St. Patrick's Day spirit with ease! They’re perfect to use whether you’re planning ahead or late to the party.

1. Costume Contest

For every holiday there is a fun or tragic costume party waiting to happen. A lot of people go to the extreme dressing up and for St. Patrick’s Day. Some people even go as far as painting themselves green!

When it comes to awarding prizes for best costume, you don’t have to limit yourself to one winner. You can give prizes based on various categories or styles. Here are some fun St. Patricks day costume ideas you can use:

Dress up like a Leprechaun

Who’s the Greenest of Them All?

Family St. Patricks Day outfits

Couple Costume for St. Patrick Day

Best St. Patricks Day Hat

Most Creative St. Patrick Day Costume

Remember it isn’t just about dressing up. A costume contest can actually help people feel included by your brand so they want to connect and be a part of your brand’s community.

2. Pet Contest

There’s nothing more fun than seeing a cute dog or cat in Christmas sweater, turkey costume and yes, a St. Patricks hat and bow.

Here’s an awesome example by Blackhole Cat Litter Mat promoting all-inclusive pet contest

Depending on your brand or niche hosting a pet contest might be your ideal choice.

Ask persons to submit funny, cute and adorable images of their pets with St. Patrick Day costumes or themed props.

Modern Dog Magazine did this for their pet costume contest and the results helped boost follower and subscribers for their website.

3.Tag-to-Win Contest

A Tag-to-Win Contest is easy to do and a great last-minute go-to for contest ideas.

Randomly select a customer by either posting an image or statement on social media and ask followers to leave a comment or tag a friend(s) in your post for a chance to win.

Then you can pick someone at random...

Bam! You’ve got yourself a winner.

Check out Goody Hair's St. Patrick's Day contest for followers to win a $500 prize package filled with goodies by tagging your best friend.

This contest takes less time when it comes to choosing the winner, based on how many winners you plan to select.

4. Like to Win Contest

Simply post an image on your social media page and ask followers to Like the post and then select a random winner from the total number of users that Liked the post.

Another way of doing this to get even more brand exposure is asking followers to repost the image from social media page unto their own. The report with the most Likes wins.

5. Food Contest

Let your followers show off their Irish cooking skills, or lack thereof, by hosting a St. Patricks Day Food Contest.

Give people the chance to submit photos of their St. Patricks Day themed meals, treats or snacks. If you’re a food brand feel free to ask people to incorporate your product some of their St. Patrick's day food creations, or showcase your own St. Patricks Day meal to start off the contest.

Popsugar did this perfectly by hosting a food contest on their Instagram then reposted the winning images on their website and social media platforms.

6. St. Patrick’s Day Hashtag Contest

Creating a contest by #Hashtag is a great way to boost your brand presence online. Your hashtag can be anything centered around something funny, socially aware or around your brand’s name.

Hashtag contest are great for increasing brand awareness and can be a great way to increase your social media following.

A fantastic example of a hashtag contest was The ASPCA St. Patrick’s Day Instagram contest called “One Lucky Pet”.

The hashtag was so big ASPCA and other Instagram accounts like Cats of Instagram and Dogs of Instagram gained a massive following. Not only did they use the hashtag but brands who sold products for animals and created content around animals.

7. St. Patricks Day Discount Contest

Make someone feel “lucky” with a discount if they spend a certain amount on product from your online store. In your contest page, ensure to show exactly what people can buy or get with the discount.

Baylor's Bowtie Bouqtie gave away a 15% discount on their St. Patrick’s Day Bowtie and with any other item purchased with.

That’s one way to make the holiday special!

8. Patty's Day Sweepstakes

Host a holiday sweepstake with a St. Patrick themed product to your fans and followers. If you don’t have St. Patrick Day products to give away based on your niche or service, you can offer up something just as good and let your entry requirements can be a holiday theme.

Look at how Mukha, a Luxury Spa that gave away a $100 Gift Certificate for the most liked St. Patty’s Day make-up with their cosmetic products.

9. Partner Up on St. Patricks Day

Brand collaborations are a great way to get attention, cut the marketing work in half and gain access to a wider audience, not to mention more sales.

How about partnering up with a complimenting brand for St. Patrick’s Day?

Take a look these two brand collaborations for St. Partick’s Day to get you inspired.

Jameson and Fooji, came together to create a giveaway for Jameson fans to tweet to win a free Jameson t-shirt for those in New York, Boston or Philadelphia. Fooji, an on-demand delivery app, would bring their shirts within two hours or less. Two different niches combined for one brilliant idea.

Another amazing St. Patricks collaboration was done by Craft Heads Brewing Company and the New Vienna Lager craft beer

They promoted a collaborated party to invite fans for giveaways and drinks specials to their fan and customers.

If you’d like to do a collaboration and use a landing page along with social media is an excellent idea. Landing pages are, easy to manage and gives you major returns in ways you’d probably never expected. With Wishpond you can have your contest up in no time.

10. Ticket Giveaway Contest

Give persons the chance to win tickets for a “Night Out” or to a major event to enjoy their St. Patrick’s Day to the fullest. Just ensure that the tickets you giveaway are for events your audience will actually love.

For example, Nashville Guru decided to give away tickets to The Last Stache -St. Pat's block party.

This works because Nashville Guru is an events page for everything Nashville so it’s definitely something their audience would be interested to win for St. Patrick’s Day.

Summary

Here is a list of the 10 best St. Patricks Day Contest Ideas to bring some luck to your holiday:

Costume Contest

Pet Contest

Tag-to-Win Contest

Like to Win Contest

Green Food Contest

St. Patrick’s Day Hashtag Contest

St. Patricks Day Discount Contest

Patty's Day Sweepstakes

Partner Up on St. Patricks Day

Ticket Giveaway Contest

But wait...there’s more!

I’ve also included a little something extra to help you really make the most out of St. Patrick’s Day for your brand.

Pro Social Media Tips for St. Patricks Day

Hosting a contest is only half the work when your preparing for a big holiday like St. Patrick’s Day. So here are some pro-social media tips to prepare for St. Patricks Day.

1. St. Patrick's Day Written Everywhere

Let your social media pages have St. Patricks Day written all over it.

Change your cover images, profile icons and start planning and posting St. Patrick’s Day content in your feed. You might not want to overdo it but just enough to let people know how excited you are about it. This gets people in the mood or frame of mind to expect holiday-themed content from you.

2.Plan St. Patrick’s Day Content Early

If you plan on creating St. Patrick's Day content or contest, do it in advance so you can avoid the rush.

There are going to be a lot of brands it there posting St. Patrick’s Day images. In order not to be mixed in with everyone else start posting St. Patrick’s Day images 2-3 weeks before March 17th should distinguish your brand or retailer as a leader, not a follower.

Take Party City, they start posting St. Patricks Day content from mid-February to March 17th.

This is important especially if you're going to put your St. Patrick’s Day contest out there. If you need a bit more help you can take a look at Wishponds Complete Guide to Social Media Marketing for St. Patrick’s Day.

3. Choose Your Social Media Channels

Select best channels to post and advertise that work best for your brand. You can read endless blogs telling you where and when to post but ultimately you need to know where your audience will be.

If you’re a brand that’s heavy on images, like High Tea bakery, then use Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest work best. If you're branded mostly word centred then Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ are your picks.

Feel free to use all the social media platforms or just one, the choice is yours. The use of various social networks will help you become more in sync with St. Patrick’s Day.

Hope you feel ready to take on St. Patrick’s Day.

Which social media tip or contest idea was your favorite? Comment below and let me know.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8230801 http://bit.ly/2FWjAKc via IFTTT

[edgedestroyspt2-blog]

NITW THOUGHTS: THE TERROR OF BANALITY [SPOILERS, DUH]

SO. THIS GAME GAVE ME A LOT OF THOUGHTS AND I’M TRYING TO ORGANIZE THEM. Couldn’t log into my old tumblr so I literally made this one just to do this haha. (you can catch me on twitter at just edgedestroys)

I’m gonna get spoiler heavy here with some theories so if you haven’t played yet, you’ve been thoroughly warned. Lets get into this.

My thoughts are probably going to be really stream of consciousness and messy here so bare with me but WHEW. NITW. Let’s talk. Upon finishing the game I was left very [??????????] about it, a LOT of questions and I hate uncertainty, I hate loose ends and my brain does moon-gravity-only tony hawk’s pro skater combos to try to make sense of uncertainty. When I exit a game like NITW and feel like “what the heck just happened wait what” I look for theories to help me sort what I’ve seen out but here I’ve kinda had to work a lot out on my own. NITW towards the end felt very A and B, not A to B with the supernatural but before I get to that let me back up and say the Young Adult Existential Dread Terror Of Growing Up Collapse Of Small Town Idealism Generational Gap Decay Horror Simulator parts of the game were so well written. SO. Well written, the writing and dialog of this game freaking SHINES with such lived-in relatable personality. If you want to skip reading about my thoughts on the real life stuff and go right to my thoughts on the supernatural stuff, just go to the *****

I felt myself painfully drawn to Gregg as a character and his relationship with Angus. The talk Mae and Gregg have after the knife fight really hit home with me. Much of Gregg’s fears I still have even though I’m almost 6 years older than him. It feels to me for sure like my boyfriend takes the mundaness of adult life in stride, doing the Real Job, being responsible, having his shit together (not to say he’s boring, just better at adulting than me), while I’m still being dragged kicking and screaming into that mature life even at 26 years old. Sure I manage to pay my bills but it’s in spite of still hanging on to naive and frankly childish ideals for a more free/fun life. I’ve faced very real panic of being afraid that I’d screw things up with my boyfriend (also like Angus, his butt is nice).

Mae obviously is incredibly relatable too, the money problems, the anxiety and depression and dropping out of college, feeling like you should be the one to be that success story for your family, the uncertainty of adulthood, hell even at 26 that shit freaks me out especially with our current sociopolitical climate. My mom has helped me a lot in the past, both in morale and financially. The game didn’t specifically talk about this (at least in my current playthrough experience) but the generational gap themes definitely leave it open to discussion, I’ve spent a lot of time in the past thinking things like “when will I get my shit together, she won’t always be there to catch me when I fall, I can’t keep doing this to her, I can’t keep her afraid that I can’t stand on my own when she’s gone”. Bridging that gap is scary as hell, I find myself depending on illustrative commission work because honestly I never manage to keep retail jobs, I have a ton of social anxiety and there’s a barrier there for me in the “here just convince strangers to buy shit” role and considering I never finished getting my BFA in graphic design which is already an already oversaturated market... I have a pretty solid recipe for uncertainty in the Future Financial Stability department. I’ve never really publicly talked about this before but good lord this game is ruthless and earnest in picking open those wounds and making you think about them.

At this point if you’ve played the game though, you probably already know about all that, the terror of being a young(ish?) adult, the gen gap, the discord between baby boomers and millennials, the metaphors of society and capitalism and the small town idealization leading to community decay, the futile sacrifice of xenophobic paranoid dads to try to maintain a halcyon lifestyle built on a collapsing foundation... etc etc, we know how that goes at this point, what I REALLY wanted to talk about is the supernatural stuff... or what felt to me like a lack thereof and what took me a few hours of thinking to really grasp.

*****

So when I finished NITW that ?????????? feeling stemmed a lot from feeling like I didn’t think the dots for the supernatural elements were really connected, the dreams, the dusk constellations, the ghost musicians, the huge spirits you encounter when you assemble the ghost band in the dreams, the cat god, the lovecraftian elder god creatures, the eldritch horror that both was at the bottom of the hole and in Mae’s mind, standing as metaphors for mental illness and socioeconomic decay, all of that felt so “how did I get here, how do these tie together???” to me. I had a pretty rushed playthrough so I know I’ve missed some story elements that I already know about but still. I didn’t miss the news article about the hallucinogenic fumes from the mines so I know the theory is floating that Mae hallucinated a lot of the supernatural but let’s operate under suspension of disbelief for a second. 

Throughout the game I felt like it was preparing me for some Huge Paranormal Showdown™, like some kind of fusion of The Legend Of Korra and Final Fantasy. I’d pieced together this narrative in my mind that I was learning about all these Dusk Constellations with my old teacher because I’d go into the Spirit World and summon those spirits I was experiencing in my dreams to fight a very literal Apocalyptic end of the world that the DadCult was helping facilitate in tandem with the mechanizations of a void left in the wake of a god figure leaving us behind to figure our shit out ourselves. But in the end you just find a bunch of paranoid middle aged community members in robes afraid of change, trying to preserve their idyllic vision for Possum Springs through their sacrifices which, depending on how you think those hallucinogenic fumes and Mae’s mental illness may shape her perception of the world, may be the realest weird thing that happens in the game. I didn’t get the big Armageddon Ghost World Summon Spirit Battle For The Fate Of The Universe, just some old assholes in a mine my friends and I buried alive (Not to downplay the importance of Mae coming to grips with her mental illness and the whole “maybe I don’t need to survive forever but I will for now” moment there) and that left me, I don’t want to say disappointed, but definitely not sated. 

After a lot of thought, something started to emerge to me about all of this, a lot of people talk about how this game’s mythos and plot all are a metaphor for how scary being an adult is, suburban collapse, the very real terror of mental illness, the economic and social ruin of generational divides, etc. But one thing I haven’t seen people talk about yet is I think this also is meant to make you think about how scary The Mundaneness Of Life is. If you really think about it, people thrive on escapism and fantasy, being “normal” is scary as hell to people, the idea of living an “unextraordinary” life. Banality is freaking TERRIFYING to most people I think. And I think the ending of this game really forces you to just sit with that discomfort. Here’s this generation that was raised to have a wild imagination, you spend the game getting deeper and deeper into this supernatural world while still clinging onto childhood and irresponsibility and it brings reality crashing the heck down on you. You don’t get Mae becoming this vivid magical JRPG hero glowing with overlimit powers battling The Void Of The Cosmos for the fate of the world, you just bury some old assholes in a mine then go have band practice and pizza with your friends. The cognitive dissonance of the comedown from this imagined grandiose hero role into real life is visceral as hell and coming to grips with how bland real life is compared to the fantastical visions we like to imagine for ourselves actually kind of hurts. Like, pretty bad depending on how into that kind of stuff you are. And I think despite initially being disappointed by this Wild Ass Spirit Battle not happening (tbh I still am a little because damn it’s set up for that so freaking well), it exposes the brilliance of the writing for this game. I’m in the goddamn furry fandom haha, I know a thing or two about how hard people thrive in escapism and living in an imagined world more interesting than the banality of real life. If you think about it, one of the most devastating coming of age stories you could tell is “no kid, you have to grow up and you’re not going to be a magical warrior saving the universe from unspoken evil, real life is boring as hell”. That shit is thick and scary as heck. 

I recently read a behind the scenes article for Lost Constellation where the creators talk a lot about loss as a theme in the sense of finding that “something” to hold onto when you lose faith in religion and I think that makes the idea of being mundane is scary as a plot device all the bigger in NITW. You basically meet god in Mae’s dreams and he says “peace out assholes I’m sick of you asking me questions, you figure it out” and you think, “oh shit, what now?” You bury the dadcult, go play music with your friends and after having this perception that you’re on the brink of fighting a huge supernatural battle you just go back to normie life in your rundown town falling apart on a decaying foundation of social norms and economics that are on life support that isn’t effective. You’re thrust out of the fantasy of childhood, into the reality of adulthood and you have to find that “something” to cope with just being a dang average ass not magical boring ass person. “At the end of everything, hold on to anything”; everything isn’t literally the world or universe, it’s the shift in your perception of it and the death of the idea that you’re greater than yourself in a fantastical way; anything is whatever you can hold onto in your average ass life that makes you happy despite being forced to acknowledge you aren’t a magical hero that will fight evil instead of filling out your tax returns and knowing your dead end job won’t merit you the legacy of a mystic warrior. 

Yeah, I would’ve loved that spirit world summon battle for sure but if you think about it, that’s probably the easy way out of the woods. There’s a soul crushing heaviness to facing reality and despite my beefs with the pacing at the end and the connection of the supernatural dots not being spelled out for my idiot ass, I can’t do anything but praise the hell out of the NITW team for making the sacrifice of not holding my hand and babying me through what I wanted to experience to feel something, but rather shoving me into what I didn’t realize I maybe needed to really feel something. Being mundane is freaking scary as hell and the way they force you to grow up into it and face it leaves you feeling something deep deep down few other games I’ve played have made me feel. I think maybe the most spiritual/supernatural thing about NITW is how it asks you how you will cope with the void left when you leave the supernatural behind.

[drippeddaily]

Album of the Year 2017 #02: GoldLink - At What Cost

Album of the Year 2017 #02: GoldLink - At What Cost

Artist: GoldLink

Album: At What Cost

Label: RCA Records

Release Date: March 24, 2017

Listen:

Spotify

YouTube

Apple Music

Tidal

Soundcloud

Background

Despite being among the most populous metro areas in the United States, Washington D.C. has yet to make a name for itself within the hip hop genre. While it has seen its share of homegrown rappers make it big, the DMV area is still a young and growing region in the hip hop community.

Enter GoldLink, né D’Anthony Carlos, a rapper/singer/songwriter from the aforementioned DMV area who, on March 24th, released his third full length project and his first under a major record label titled At What Cost. GoldLink released his 2014 mixtape The God Complex under a shadow of anonymity, not revealing his real name or face. This project then went on become excellently received by critics and fans alike, earning him a spot on the 2015 XXL Freshman List. Using his position as a freshman as momentum, in November 2015 GoldLink released his 2nd mixtape titled ...And After That, We Didn’t Talk. This spur of releases was followed by a little bit of radio silence by GoldLink throughout the better part of 2016, which was broken by the release of a single featuring Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy titled Crew, which peaked at 45 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart. After the release of another single titled Meditation in March, it was announced that GoldLink’s debut studio album At What Cost would be released later that month.

GoldLink’s artistic direction seemed to almost be up in the air for this album. The God Complex was this fast, energetic upbeat project from a new artist that displayed rays of potential. This was followed by a more romance-centric And After That, We Didn’t Talk that seemed to tap into more R&B sounds as we saw the once-exciting rapper take a more chill turn, so the expectations for At What Cost were almost non-existent. After all, it would be only his 3rd full length project, and with so much left to explore in terms of artistry, the possibilities were endless. At What Cost became GoldLink’s coming of age, his realization of where he should be as an artist, and it was an appealing location indeed.

Review

I would like the preface this write up by saying that upon the release of this album, I had never listened to any work of GoldLink’s. I had never heard his previous projects, I hadn’t heard any praise or criticisms of him on any platform, I hadn’t even heard his XXL Freshman Cypher. So, coming into this album I was subjected to no personal or exterior biases, and my choice to listen to this album was solely due to the fact that the cover looked cool. Yep, that’s how I came to meet my album of the year. Whether or not my clean slate of pure lack of prejudice upon first listen of this album affected my reception of this project positively or negatively could be a topic of debate, however I feel my open mindedness towards this, or any album for that matter, allows for a more honest and pure consumption of a musical project. Perhaps my expectations, or lack thereof, were skewed by GoldLink’s professional name which may have subconsciously led me to believe that the album I was about to indulge in was more towards the subcategory of gangster rap, a conception that the album art would have supported. However, despite my blind entry into an unfamiliar artist’s album, I was without a doubt pleasantly surprised by the content with which I was met.

What stood out to me most after my first listen was how quickly I fell in love with the project. Usually projects take ample time for me to truly appreciate them in any aspect, yet after first listen I found myself desiring to return to the album again and again, which I would argue is largely thanks to the production on the project. While GoldLink himself obviously isn’t doing the production, in reference to the project as a whole, the production was thoroughly enjoyable, consistent, and most importantly: fun. When I say fun I’m not referring to Lil Yachty “just having fun”, I mean it’s the kind of production that makes an album fun to listen to. It’s what provides immense replay value, it’s what gets you moving, and instrumentation is a huge part of music so it really plays a big role into the creation of a good album. GoldLink seemed to take a somewhat unconventional, risky approach to the production on this project and it paid off. The choice of production was perfect for pairing with the nature of the album and I felt perfectly helped emphasize the theme GoldLink was trying to convey on this album. GoldLink brings in an elite array of producers for this album, such as Kaytranada, Matt Martians of the Internet and Odd Future, Steve Lacy, and Syk Sense. This collection of well-established producers became the architects of this D.C. album GoldLink had envisioned and incorporated aspects of 70s disco and funk music (Kaytranada especially) that were essential to GoldLink’s attempt to bring the listener to the District of Columbia through the power of his music.

Perhaps my favorite example of the production on this album is that of Meditation featuring Philadelphia’s Jazmine Sullivan as well as the aforementioned Kaytranada on production. This track catapults off from the vibrant 70s-esque interlude that is Hands On Your Knees as Kaytranada samples his own track off his 99.9% mixtape and creates what was the second single off of the album. I am absolutely infatuated by how amazing the production from Kaytra was on this track. It starts off with light and airy synth chords which sets itself up for the distinctive bassline of the track. This track is the most perfect embodiment of the production of the album. The funky, light, happy, upbeat, beat on this song is really what helps GoldLink pack a punch with his music. I feel like the best word to describe it would be groovy, but I know that sounds sort of cliché when speaking about hip hop. Potentially my favorite thing about this style of production is that the possibilities are endless, and GoldLink definitely exploits this trait on this project. The ability to create a cohesive album where every song is clearly distinguishable is something hip hop artists strive for, and on At What Cost it was almost seamless for GoldLink. Even on the song Herside Story, originally a Hare Squead song where GoldLink had merely added rapping, it blends unsuspectingly into the album like it was there in the first place and GoldLink manages to improve an already great song with his additional verses. This is just a general description of the sensory feel of the album if no thought was given to any particular aspect, despite my numerous praises of the production. Overall, I felt the album was very well constructed and felt very fluid throughout. These aspects seem to be underappreciated or seldomly mentioned when referencing hip hop music yet play a massive role in the overall enjoyment of a given project.

I haven’t even touched on GoldLink himself yet, and to the unfamiliar reader this write-up could almost be interpreted as an in depth review of a beat tape. But bear with me here, there does happen to be rap on this rap album. One striking thing to me about GoldLink’s rap style (on this project at the very least) is that GoldLink raps exactly like you’d think he raps if you were to just look at him. Maybe I’m grasping at straws here, but GoldLink’s rapping is similar to his appearance in the sense that they’re both mellow-yet-confident. Surprisingly enough, GoldLink isn’t even the first person rapping on his own album. That title belongs to fellow D.C. rapper Ciscero on the track Same Clothes As Yesterday. However, GoldLink’s entrance to this album feels almost cinematic. In fact, there’s something about how this entire album is constructed that makes it feel cinematic. GoldLink manages to build anticipation for his big debut on At What Cost, with the Opening Credit intro followed by the transition into Same Clothes as well as Ciscero’s verse. And without a doubt, GoldLink capitalizes on the anticipation, while spitting these amusing bars after he performs the hook:

Ridin' 'round and my car's low, nigga, what you waitin' for?

Big dick in her tonsils, yeah, I got a big ego, hoe

Ridin' 'round and my bitch high and grip her thighs, I might fuck that right

Wildin' out, I might make her mine, might fuck around, I might blow her high

-GoldLink on Same Clothes As Yesterday

Going back to my cinematic point, this entrance and first lines by GoldLink really makes you feel like you’re at a concert. That’s how good of a job he does at building anticipation and then making that big arrival like the main act does at a big show. This is the kind of sentiment you want to receive when you’re listening to an album, you want that grand feeling when listening to music, after all in my opinion I don’t think music is very good if it doesn’t provoke some sort of emotion from you, the emotion here being the resulting excitement from an energy crescendo. This aspect isn’t exclusive to GoldLink of course, it’s a pretty common practice in hip hop to give an album a somewhat movie-like delivery, and in good reason. It’s very effective at creating an album that is truly fun and interesting to listen to front to back. It’s this cinema-effect that GoldLink uses to transport you to Washington D.C. through his music. This was demonstrated very tastefully with the ending to Meditation and the transition to Herside Story - that being the “oh shit!” followed by the gunshots and ensuite the light intro to the dreamlike Herside Story. The concluding track Pray Everyday really captures this concept in what almost seems like the roll credits of the album, and even with the transformation to the light and happy Have You Seen That Girl? at the beginning of the album to the more hopelessly romantic Some Girl near the conclusion. This allows GoldLink to create the illusion that, despite there being no underlying theme or story, it almost feels as if there is.

Going back to the the mellow-yet-confident rapping style, GoldLink’s flow and delivery on this project are really what pulls everything all together. After all, there is absolutely nothing on At What Cost that could at all salvage its album of the year status if GoldLink’s performance fell short. There’s something so satisfying and melodic about the flows used on this project, it almost gives the feeling of comfort and relaxation. GoldLink has a deep, smooth voice that he uses to his advantage when accompanying his cloudy intoxicating production and every line on this album seems effortless (in the good sense). GoldLink flows in this cohesive stream of words that provides an easy listen while simultaneously bringing personality and charisma to every track. Probably the best analogy I can come up with to GoldLink’s rap style is that he raps as if he’s gonna smoke the whole squad out on blunts but will still kick your ass if you don’t puff-puff-pass. He contrasts these two elements pretty clearly if you were to compare the tracks Have You Seen That Girl? and Kokamoe Freestyle.

We shot a nigga at the go-go last week

We don't really care who got shot last week

Ridin' up the meter, plug 'ya village bumpin' Migos

I'm past shit, you don't want no problems with a GED

Peep G, I'm the king of the streets

I never had to struggle with the gangs in a beef

Always ten toes so it's hard to defeat

And trust me nigga, I been lookin' hard for a beat, huh

-GoldLink on Kokamoe Freestyle

God I really want to avoid the word ‘versatile’ just because of the negative connotations associated with it now and how it’s almost a buzzword for bad artists, and, in complete honesty, GoldLink really isn’t that versatile with his rapping style, but I’m gonna make an exception here. It’s not exactly a standout trait on this album, however I did find it important that to some degree he did diversify the thematic topics of his songs and the general mood of them without straying too far from the overall sound of the album. Which allows me to transition into my next topic which is the featured artists. This is actually an aspect of the album I really enjoyed, since GoldLink almost took an unconventional approach to featured artists. I feel like I’ve used the word unconventional a lot without really explaining myself so allow me to; the features were reminiscent of the To Pimp a Butterfly features. I.e. features for the sake of the art and not for the sake of the money, which, unfortunately, happens to be unconventional in popular hip hop nowadays. There aren’t any out of place features on this project (although some may argue Shy Glizzy). It’s quite evident that GoldLink was really focused on maintaining the integrity of this album as he didn’t bring in any features that, while they might’ve increased sales, generally didn’t fit onto the album (see: Crew Remix). In total, there are 11 artists who have guest vocals on this album, 9 of which are from the DMV area (Jazmine Sullivan & Steve Lacy being the exceptions). Not only is GoldLink putting local artists on the radar despite being big enough to outsource nationally, but he’s selecting artists that suit his music style. Not only that, but a lot of his features are featured on the hook so as to save us from GoldLink’s unfortunately atrocious singing that he subjected us to on ...And After That, We Didn’t Talk. He features everyone from the necessary (Wale) to the who-the-fuck? (Lil Dude). Sometimes albums can definitely be oversaturated with features, take Coloring Book by Chance for an example. Sometimes I feel albums can be undersaturated with features, such as Issa Album by 21 Savage. So, artists often need to evaluate what they are capable of doing solo, and what necessitates the need for guest artists. GoldLink (hopefully) learned from the missteps on his past project and brought in a tasteful amount of features, some for the purpose of performing the hook, some for the purpose of providing some verses that differ from that of GoldLink’s. Wale spits an entertaining flow on Summatime, Steve Lacy provides a fitting hook on Some Girl, Shy Glizzy brings character to Crew. I felt this album in general was an excellent portrayal of the perfect amount of features, so that we hear a very good amount of GoldLink and what he has to say while also being introduced to new DMV artists and being given a nice contrast to GoldLink’s own rapping. It all ties back to the general theme of having the album truly feel like a D.C. album.

Throughout the course of the write up, I’ve gone on about how At What Cost brings you to D.C. or sounds like a D.C. album without really elaborating on it. In order to form a more complete comprehension of the sound GoldLink is borrowing from and taking inspiration from, I need to give a brief overview of the D.C. music scene from the 60s to the 90s, where the majority of GoldLink’s influences on this project would’ve came from. Perhaps the earliest direct influence on this project is that of the Go-go music scene in Washington D.C., a fusion of funk, R&B, and old school hip-hop, which was popular within the African American population of the DMV area and likely would’ve been the music GoldLink’s parents grew up on. This influence is probably the most obvious on the Hands On Your Knees interlude where Washington MC Kokayi is featured on a heavily funk & go-go inspired beat giving GoldLink an intro before the start of Meditation. This go-go influence (which is also prevalent on tracks like Summatime, Kokamoe Freestyle, and Roll Call) combined with the funk and R&B aspects on the album are essentially to achieving the goal of creating this hip hop album that brings you to D.C. sonically. I honestly wish I could go into more detail about this influence but to be honest I’m not too knowledgeable on that topic and nothing has really been written about it, so I’m going to stop this section here before I start spewing nonsense.

I believe I’ve sufficiently covered the macros of this album and explained why the album is so appealing to me, so I would now like to go into the micros and look at specific parts of the album I particularly enjoyed.

The most obvious and most popular part of the album: Crew. Crew is the first single from At What Cost and the only song from the project to chart, reaching all the way up to 45. Despite being one of the songs that fits less into the theme of the album, it is without a doubt one of the best. Brent Faiyaz, DMV R&B singer (whose project Sonder Son is excellent) kills it on one of the best hooks of 2017 and GoldLink delivers an effortless and smooth verse. Shy Glizzy, fellow D.C. native, comes through with an eccentric and exciting verse to lead back into the hook and outro. Another personal favorite of mine is Roll Call featuring legendary D.C. singer Mya. This song has one of the heaviest go-go influences with the bouncy bassline and the almost nostalgic symphonic post-hook breakdown. Mya delivers an excellent hook, singing “so no matter where I go around the world it’s back to D.C.” as GoldLink nails down the consistent sound on this project. GoldLink goes solo on Kokamoe Freestyle where he gets to put his bars and flow on display, not stopping throughout his one, long, hookless verse. This song contains probably some of my favorite bars of the entire album. Finally, we have the Steve Lacy produced Some Girl, which is my favorite track on the entire album. Steve Lacy killed the production on this song that paired with GoldLink’s mellow bars perfectly. Lacy delivers an excellent, softly-sung hook to contrast GoldLink’s energetic rapping. I literally cannot find anywhere who the girl on this track is (even Genius has her as ‘female’), but she comes in near the end of the song to join GoldLink in a sung “I don’t know why I care about ya, care about ya / I don’t wanna motherfucking care about ya, care about ya,” a duo of lines we can all relate to. Lacy switches up the beat at the end to provide a perfect intro to the outro track, Pray Everyday.

I’ve truly loved this project straight from first listen. Somehow, despite repeated and repeated listens, it just doesn’t get old. GoldLink has shot from someone I didn’t even know existed to one of my favorite hip hop artists. To me, this album has very few flaws. It’s such a smooth and thorough listen with a unique and captivating theme combined with the swagger that oozes from GoldLink’s rapping, and the light and groovy production, combined with a stellar array of features handpicked from the DMV. From the classic braggadocious lines to more reflective bars, GoldLink delivers an excellent performance on this project and will keep me interested in everything he does from this point forward. I hope that everyone can come to love this album as much as I do and appreciate the very subtle theme incorporated into it, and if not, just appreciate some of the smooth and relaxing tracks. If anything, acknowledge GoldLink’s different take on hip hop and taking the path less traveled in order to create an album that is unique and individual, because that is how GoldLink succeeded at making At What Cost my album of the year.

Favorite Lyrics

Ridin' 'round and my car's low, nigga, what you waitin' for?

Big dick in her tonsils, yeah, I got a big ego, hoe

Ridin' 'round and my bitch high and grip her thighs, I might fuck that right

Wildin' out, I might make her mine, might fuck around, I might blow her high

“Same Clothes as Yesterday”

I was out Clay Terrace, feelin' better than all the guys

Bad white joined, fat ass hips and thighs

Talkin' 'bout kill moe, all you do is lie

I ain't lyin' when I tell you that you fine as wine

Lemme get a lil' sip, lemme get a lil' bit

Lemme grab on your ass, I mean grab you the gas

Talkin' 'bout goddamn

Have you seen that girl?

“Have You Seen That Girl”

I got a light-skinned bitch who look like Beige Loaf

And she fight and fuck me in the same clothes

But when I put that daddy, baby daddy, papa stroke

She curl her toes and close her eyes

I finish up, she adios

“Meditation”

Aye, she call me on her early, she yearnin' for it from California

I don't got no girlfriend, but got some workers in California

I be in that Rover with cannabis, California

And I be the prince of my city, bitch, where my Apollonia?

Wale on “Summatime”

She see money all around me

I look like I'm the man, yeah

But I was down and out like last week

Tell me where have you been?

You came out of hiding, girl

Don't act like I'm your man

You just a fan, you don't hold rank

Don't hold no rank

Brent Faiyaz on “Crew”

DMV nigga, hunnid niggas under ya

Leggin', leggin', leggin', third leggin' with my peers

Rappin' ass nigga, but I'm quiet when I'm here

I'm always plottin' on a bitch, pretend I'm plottin' on my fears

“Kokamoe Freestyle”

Met her in the summer, started with a kiss

And she fucked so good that I had to flood her wrist

Two days in and I wanna have her kid

Then she told me she belong to the city and her boy

“Some Girl”

Discussion

How did you feel about the production on this project? Should GoldLink stay with some variation of it on his next project or change it up?

Did you find the project too feature heavy or was it just right?

Where do you rank this album in GoldLink’s discography?

What’s your favorite song on the album?

What significance do you think the title has?

What direction do you want to see GoldLink go next?

Is this newfound fame from “Crew” sustainable? Can GoldLink make himself a household name in the rap community?

Thanks for reading! If you haven’t already, please check out this album!

Artist: GoldLinkAlbum: At What CostLabel: RCA RecordsRelease Date: March 24, 2017Listen:SpotifyYouTubeApple MusicTidalSoundcloudBackgroundDespite being among the most populous metro areas in the United States, Washington D.C. has yet to make a name for itself within the hip hop genre. While it has seen its share of homegrown rappers make it big, the DMV area is still a young and growing region in the hip hop community.Enter GoldLink, né D’Anthony Carlos, a rapper/singer/songwriter from the aforementioned DMV area who, on March 24th, released his third full length project and his first under a major record label titled At What Cost. GoldLink released his 2014 mixtape The God Complex under a shadow of anonymity, not revealing his real name or face. This project then went on become excellently received by critics and fans alike, earning him a spot on the 2015 XXL Freshman List. Using his position as a freshman as momentum, in November 2015 GoldLink released his 2nd mixtape titled ...And After That, We Didn’t Talk. This spur of releases was followed by a little bit of radio silence by GoldLink throughout the better part of 2016, which was broken by the release of a single featuring Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy titled Crew, which peaked at 45 on the Billboard Hot 100 Chart. After the release of another single titled Meditation in March, it was announced that GoldLink’s debut studio album At What Cost would be released later that month.GoldLink’s artistic direction seemed to almost be up in the air for this album. The God Complex was this fast, energetic upbeat project from a new artist that displayed rays of potential. This was followed by a more romance-centric And After That, We Didn’t Talk that seemed to tap into more R&B sounds as we saw the once-exciting rapper take a more chill turn, so the expectations for At What Cost were almost non-existent. After all, it would be only his 3rd full length project, and with so much left to explore in terms of artistry, the possibilities were endless. At What Cost became GoldLink’s coming of age, his realization of where he should be as an artist, and it was an appealing location indeed.ReviewI would like the preface this write up by saying that upon the release of this album, I had never listened to any work of GoldLink’s. I had never heard his previous projects, I hadn’t heard any praise or criticisms of him on any platform, I hadn’t even heard his XXL Freshman Cypher. So, coming into this album I was subjected to no personal or exterior biases, and my choice to listen to this album was solely due to the fact that the cover looked cool. Yep, that’s how I came to meet my album of the year. Whether or not my clean slate of pure lack of prejudice upon first listen of this album affected my reception of this project positively or negatively could be a topic of debate, however I feel my open mindedness towards this, or any album for that matter, allows for a more honest and pure consumption of a musical project. Perhaps my expectations, or lack thereof, were skewed by GoldLink’s professional name which may have subconsciously led me to believe that the album I was about to indulge in was more towards the subcategory of gangster rap, a conception that the album art would have supported. However, despite my blind entry into an unfamiliar artist’s album, I was without a doubt pleasantly surprised by the content with which I was met.What stood out to me most after my first listen was how quickly I fell in love with the project. Usually projects take ample time for me to truly appreciate them in any aspect, yet after first listen I found myself desiring to return to the album again and again, which I would argue is largely thanks to the production on the project. While GoldLink himself obviously isn’t doing the production, in reference to the project as a whole, the production was thoroughly enjoyable, consistent, and most importantly: fun. When I say fun I’m not referring to Lil Yachty “just having fun”, I mean it’s the kind of production that makes an album fun to listen to. It’s what provides immense replay value, it’s what gets you moving, and instrumentation is a huge part of music so it really plays a big role into the creation of a good album. GoldLink seemed to take a somewhat unconventional, risky approach to the production on this project and it paid off. The choice of production was perfect for pairing with the nature of the album and I felt perfectly helped emphasize the theme GoldLink was trying to convey on this album. GoldLink brings in an elite array of producers for this album, such as Kaytranada, Matt Martians of the Internet and Odd Future, Steve Lacy, and Syk Sense. This collection of well-established producers became the architects of this D.C. album GoldLink had envisioned and incorporated aspects of 70s disco and funk music (Kaytranada especially) that were essential to GoldLink’s attempt to bring the listener to the District of Columbia through the power of his music.Perhaps my favorite example of the production on this album is that of Meditation featuring Philadelphia’s Jazmine Sullivan as well as the aforementioned Kaytranada on production. This track catapults off from the vibrant 70s-esque interlude that is Hands On Your Knees as Kaytranada samples his own track off his 99.9% mixtape and creates what was the second single off of the album. I am absolutely infatuated by how amazing the production from Kaytra was on this track. It starts off with light and airy synth chords which sets itself up for the distinctive bassline of the track. This track is the most perfect embodiment of the production of the album. The funky, light, happy, upbeat, beat on this song is really what helps GoldLink pack a punch with his music. I feel like the best word to describe it would be groovy, but I know that sounds sort of cliché when speaking about hip hop. Potentially my favorite thing about this style of production is that the possibilities are endless, and GoldLink definitely exploits this trait on this project. The ability to create a cohesive album where every song is clearly distinguishable is something hip hop artists strive for, and on At What Cost it was almost seamless for GoldLink. Even on the song Herside Story, originally a Hare Squead song where GoldLink had merely added rapping, it blends unsuspectingly into the album like it was there in the first place and GoldLink manages to improve an already great song with his additional verses. This is just a general description of the sensory feel of the album if no thought was given to any particular aspect, despite my numerous praises of the production. Overall, I felt the album was very well constructed and felt very fluid throughout. These aspects seem to be underappreciated or seldomly mentioned when referencing hip hop music yet play a massive role in the overall enjoyment of a given project.I haven’t even touched on GoldLink himself yet, and to the unfamiliar reader this write-up could almost be interpreted as an in depth review of a beat tape. But bear with me here, there does happen to be rap on this rap album. One striking thing to me about GoldLink’s rap style (on this project at the very least) is that GoldLink raps exactly like you’d think he raps if you were to just look at him. Maybe I’m grasping at straws here, but GoldLink’s rapping is similar to his appearance in the sense that they’re both mellow-yet-confident. Surprisingly enough, GoldLink isn’t even the first person rapping on his own album. That title belongs to fellow D.C. rapper Ciscero on the track Same Clothes As Yesterday. However, GoldLink’s entrance to this album feels almost cinematic. In fact, there’s something about how this entire album is constructed that makes it feel cinematic. GoldLink manages to build anticipation for his big debut on At What Cost, with the Opening Credit intro followed by the transition into Same Clothes as well as Ciscero’s verse. And without a doubt, GoldLink capitalizes on the anticipation, while spitting these amusing bars after he performs the hook:Ridin' 'round and my car's low, nigga, what you waitin' for?Big dick in her tonsils, yeah, I got a big ego, hoeRidin' 'round and my bitch high and grip her thighs, I might fuck that rightWildin' out, I might make her mine, might fuck around, I might blow her high-GoldLink on Same Clothes As YesterdayGoing back to my cinematic point, this entrance and first lines by GoldLink really makes you feel like you’re at a concert. That’s how good of a job he does at building anticipation and then making that big arrival like the main act does at a big show. This is the kind of sentiment you want to receive when you’re listening to an album, you want that grand feeling when listening to music, after all in my opinion I don’t think music is very good if it doesn’t provoke some sort of emotion from you, the emotion here being the resulting excitement from an energy crescendo. This aspect isn’t exclusive to GoldLink of course, it’s a pretty common practice in hip hop to give an album a somewhat movie-like delivery, and in good reason. It’s very effective at creating an album that is truly fun and interesting to listen to front to back. It’s this cinema-effect that GoldLink uses to transport you to Washington D.C. through his music. This was demonstrated very tastefully with the ending to Meditation and the transition to Herside Story - that being the “oh shit!” followed by the gunshots and ensuite the light intro to the dreamlike Herside Story. The concluding track Pray Everyday really captures this concept in what almost seems like the roll credits of the album, and even with the transformation to the light and happy Have You Seen That Girl? at the beginning of the album to the more hopelessly romantic Some Girl near the conclusion. This allows GoldLink to create the illusion that, despite there being no underlying theme or story, it almost feels as if there is.Going back to the the mellow-yet-confident rapping style, GoldLink’s flow and delivery on this project are really what pulls everything all together. After all, there is absolutely nothing on At What Cost that could at all salvage its album of the year status if GoldLink’s performance fell short. There’s something so satisfying and melodic about the flows used on this project, it almost gives the feeling of comfort and relaxation. GoldLink has a deep, smooth voice that he uses to his advantage when accompanying his cloudy intoxicating production and every line on this album seems effortless (in the good sense). GoldLink flows in this cohesive stream of words that provides an easy listen while simultaneously bringing personality and charisma to every track. Probably the best analogy I can come up with to GoldLink’s rap style is that he raps as if he’s gonna smoke the whole squad out on blunts but will still kick your ass if you don’t puff-puff-pass. He contrasts these two elements pretty clearly if you were to compare the tracks Have You Seen That Girl? and Kokamoe Freestyle.We shot a nigga at the go-go last weekWe don't really care who got shot last weekRidin' up the meter, plug 'ya village bumpin' MigosI'm past shit, you don't want no problems with a GEDPeep G, I'm the king of the streetsI never had to struggle with the gangs in a beefAlways ten toes so it's hard to defeatAnd trust me nigga, I been lookin' hard for a beat, huh-GoldLink on Kokamoe FreestyleGod I really want to avoid the word ‘versatile’ just because of the negative connotations associated with it now and how it’s almost a buzzword for bad artists, and, in complete honesty, GoldLink really isn’t that versatile with his rapping style, but I’m gonna make an exception here. It’s not exactly a standout trait on this album, however I did find it important that to some degree he did diversify the thematic topics of his songs and the general mood of them without straying too far from the overall sound of the album. Which allows me to transition into my next topic which is the featured artists. This is actually an aspect of the album I really enjoyed, since GoldLink almost took an unconventional approach to featured artists. I feel like I’ve used the word unconventional a lot without really explaining myself so allow me to; the features were reminiscent of the To Pimp a Butterfly features. I.e. features for the sake of the art and not for the sake of the money, which, unfortunately, happens to be unconventional in popular hip hop nowadays. There aren’t any out of place features on this project (although some may argue Shy Glizzy). It’s quite evident that GoldLink was really focused on maintaining the integrity of this album as he didn’t bring in any features that, while they might’ve increased sales, generally didn’t fit onto the album (see: Crew Remix). In total, there are 11 artists who have guest vocals on this album, 9 of which are from the DMV area (Jazmine Sullivan & Steve Lacy being the exceptions). Not only is GoldLink putting local artists on the radar despite being big enough to outsource nationally, but he’s selecting artists that suit his music style. Not only that, but a lot of his features are featured on the hook so as to save us from GoldLink’s unfortunately atrocious singing that he subjected us to on ...And After That, We Didn’t Talk. He features everyone from the necessary (Wale) to the who-the-fuck? (Lil Dude). Sometimes albums can definitely be oversaturated with features, take Coloring Book by Chance for an example. Sometimes I feel albums can be undersaturated with features, such as Issa Album by 21 Savage. So, artists often need to evaluate what they are capable of doing solo, and what necessitates the need for guest artists. GoldLink (hopefully) learned from the missteps on his past project and brought in a tasteful amount of features, some for the purpose of performing the hook, some for the purpose of providing some verses that differ from that of GoldLink’s. Wale spits an entertaining flow on Summatime, Steve Lacy provides a fitting hook on Some Girl, Shy Glizzy brings character to Crew. I felt this album in general was an excellent portrayal of the perfect amount of features, so that we hear a very good amount of GoldLink and what he has to say while also being introduced to new DMV artists and being given a nice contrast to GoldLink’s own rapping. It all ties back to the general theme of having the album truly feel like a D.C. album.Throughout the course of the write up, I’ve gone on about how At What Cost brings you to D.C. or sounds like a D.C. album without really elaborating on it. In order to form a more complete comprehension of the sound GoldLink is borrowing from and taking inspiration from, I need to give a brief overview of the D.C. music scene from the 60s to the 90s, where the majority of GoldLink’s influences on this project would’ve came from. Perhaps the earliest direct influence on this project is that of the Go-go music scene in Washington D.C., a fusion of funk, R&B, and old school hip-hop, which was popular within the African American population of the DMV area and likely would’ve been the music GoldLink’s parents grew up on. This influence is probably the most obvious on the Hands On Your Knees interlude where Washington MC Kokayi is featured on a heavily funk & go-go inspired beat giving GoldLink an intro before the start of Meditation. This go-go influence (which is also prevalent on tracks like Summatime, Kokamoe Freestyle, and Roll Call) combined with the funk and R&B aspects on the album are essentially to achieving the goal of creating this hip hop album that brings you to D.C. sonically. I honestly wish I could go into more detail about this influence but to be honest I’m not too knowledgeable on that topic and nothing has really been written about it, so I’m going to stop this section here before I start spewing nonsense.I believe I’ve sufficiently covered the macros of this album and explained why the album is so appealing to me, so I would now like to go into the micros and look at specific parts of the album I particularly enjoyed.The most obvious and most popular part of the album: Crew. Crew is the first single from At What Cost and the only song from the project to chart, reaching all the way up to 45. Despite being one of the songs that fits less into the theme of the album, it is without a doubt one of the best. Brent Faiyaz, DMV R&B singer (whose project Sonder Son is excellent) kills it on one of the best hooks of 2017 and GoldLink delivers an effortless and smooth verse. Shy Glizzy, fellow D.C. native, comes through with an eccentric and exciting verse to lead back into the hook and outro. Another personal favorite of mine is Roll Call featuring legendary D.C. singer Mya. This song has one of the heaviest go-go influences with the bouncy bassline and the almost nostalgic symphonic post-hook breakdown. Mya delivers an excellent hook, singing “so no matter where I go around the world it’s back to D.C.” as GoldLink nails down the consistent sound on this project. GoldLink goes solo on Kokamoe Freestyle where he gets to put his bars and flow on display, not stopping throughout his one, long, hookless verse. This song contains probably some of my favorite bars of the entire album. Finally, we have the Steve Lacy produced Some Girl, which is my favorite track on the entire album. Steve Lacy killed the production on this song that paired with GoldLink’s mellow bars perfectly. Lacy delivers an excellent, softly-sung hook to contrast GoldLink’s energetic rapping. I literally cannot find anywhere who the girl on this track is (even Genius has her as ‘female’), but she comes in near the end of the song to join GoldLink in a sung “I don’t know why I care about ya, care about ya / I don’t wanna motherfucking care about ya, care about ya,” a duo of lines we can all relate to. Lacy switches up the beat at the end to provide a perfect intro to the outro track, Pray Everyday.I’ve truly loved this project straight from first listen. Somehow, despite repeated and repeated listens, it just doesn’t get old. GoldLink has shot from someone I didn’t even know existed to one of my favorite hip hop artists. To me, this album has very few flaws. It’s such a smooth and thorough listen with a unique and captivating theme combined with the swagger that oozes from GoldLink’s rapping, and the light and groovy production, combined with a stellar array of features handpicked from the DMV. From the classic braggadocious lines to more reflective bars, GoldLink delivers an excellent performance on this project and will keep me interested in everything he does from this point forward. I hope that everyone can come to love this album as much as I do and appreciate the very subtle theme incorporated into it, and if not, just appreciate some of the smooth and relaxing tracks. If anything, acknowledge GoldLink’s different take on hip hop and taking the path less traveled in order to create an album that is unique and individual, because that is how GoldLink succeeded at making At What Cost my album of the year.Favorite LyricsRidin' 'round and my car's low, nigga, what you waitin' for?Big dick in her tonsils, yeah, I got a big ego, hoeRidin' 'round and my bitch high and grip her thighs, I might fuck that rightWildin' out, I might make her mine, might fuck around, I might blow her high“Same Clothes as Yesterday”I was out Clay Terrace, feelin' better than all the guysBad white joined, fat ass hips and thighsTalkin' 'bout kill moe, all you do is lieI ain't lyin' when I tell you that you fine as wineLemme get a lil' sip, lemme get a lil' bitLemme grab on your ass, I mean grab you the gasTalkin' 'bout goddamnHave you seen that girl?“Have You Seen That Girl”I got a light-skinned bitch who look like Beige LoafAnd she fight and fuck me in the same clothesBut when I put that daddy, baby daddy, papa strokeShe curl her toes and close her eyesI finish up, she adios“Meditation”Aye, she call me on her early, she yearnin' for it from CaliforniaI don't got no girlfriend, but got some workers in CaliforniaI be in that Rover with cannabis, CaliforniaAnd I be the prince of my city, bitch, where my Apollonia?Wale on “Summatime”She see money all around meI look like I'm the man, yeahBut I was down and out like last weekTell me where have you been?You came out of hiding, girlDon't act like I'm your manYou just a fan, you don't hold rankDon't hold no rankBrent Faiyaz on “Crew”DMV nigga, hunnid niggas under yaLeggin', leggin', leggin', third leggin' with my peersRappin' ass nigga, but I'm quiet when I'm hereI'm always plottin' on a bitch, pretend I'm plottin' on my fears“Kokamoe Freestyle”Met her in the summer, started with a kissAnd she fucked so good that I had to flood her wristTwo days in and I wanna have her kidThen she told me she belong to the city and her boy“Some Girl”DiscussionHow did you feel about the production on this project? Should GoldLink stay with some variation of it on his next project or change it up?Did you find the project too feature heavy or was it just right?Where do you rank this album in GoldLink’s discography?What’s your favorite song on the album?What significance do you think the title has?What direction do you want to see GoldLink go next?Is this newfound fame from “Crew” sustainable? Can GoldLink make himself a household name in the rap community?Thanks for reading! If you haven’t already, please check out this album!