#come up again like 130 years later

[mrs-stans]

Sebastian Stan Tells All: Becoming Donald Trump, Gaining 15 Pounds and Starring in 2024’s Most Controversial Movie

By Daniel D'Addario

Sebastian Stan Variety Cover Story

It started with the most famous voice on the planet, the one that just won’t shut up.

Sebastian Stan, in real life, sounds very little like Donald Trump, whom he’s playing in the new film “The Apprentice.” Sure, they share a tristate accent — Stan has lived in the city for years and attended Rutgers University before launching his career — but he speaks with none of Trump’s emphasis on his own greatness. Trump dwells, Stan skitters. Trump attempts to draw topics together over lengthy stem-winders (what he recently called “the weave”), while Stan has a certain unwillingness to be pinned down, a desire to keep moving. It takes some coaxing to bring Stan, a man with the upright bearing and square jaw of a matinee idol, to speak about his own process — how hard he worked to conjure a sense Trump, and how he sought to bring out new insights about America’s most scrutinized politician.

“I think he’s a lot smarter than people want to say about him,” Stan says, “because he repeats things consistently, and he’s given you a brand.” Stan would know: He watched videos of Trump on a loop while preparing for “The Apprentice.” In the film, out on Oct. 11, Stan plays Trump as he moves from insecure, aspiring real estate developer to still insecure but established member of the New York celebrity firmament.

We’re sitting over coffee in Manhattan. Stan is dressed down in a black chore coat and black tee, yet he’s anything but a casual conversation partner. He rarely breaks eye contact, doing so only on the occasions when he has something he wants to show me on his iPhone (cracked screen, no case). In this instance, it’s folders of photos and videos labeled “DT” and “DT PHYSICALITY.”

“I had 130 videos on his physicality on my phone,” Stan says. “And 562 videos that I had pulled with pictures from different time periods — from the ’70s all the way to today — so I could pull out his speech patterns and try to improvise like him.” Stan, deep in character, would ad-lib entire scenes at director Ali Abbasi’s urging, drawing on the details he’d learned from watching Trump and reading interviews to understand precisely how to react in each moment.

“Ali could come in on the second take and say, ‘Why don’t you talk a little bit about the taxes and how you don’t want to pay?’ So I had to know what charities they were going to in 1983. Every night I would go home and try not only to prepare for the day that was coming, but also to prepare for where Ali was going to take this.”

Looking at Stan’s phone, among the endless pictures of Trump, I glimpse thumbnails of Stan’s own face perched in a Trumpian pout and videos of the actor’s preparation just aching to be clicked — or to be stored in the Trump Presidential Library when this is all over in a few months, or in 2029, or beyond.

“I started to realize that I needed to start speaking with my lips in a different way,” Stan says. “A lot of that came from the consonants. If I’m talking, I’m moving forward.” On film, Stan shapes his mouth like he can’t wait to get the plosives out, puckering without quite tipping into parody. “The consonants naturally forced your lips forward.”

“If he did 10% more of what he did, it would become ‘Saturday Night Live,’” Abbasi says. “If he did 10% less, then he’s not conjuring that person. But here’s the thing about Sebastian: He’s very inspired by reality, by research. And that’s also the way I work; if you want to go to strange places, you need to get your baseline reality covered very well.”

A little later, Stan passes me the phone again to show me a selfie of him posing shirtless and revealing two sagging pecs and a bit of a gut. He’s pouting into a mirror. If his expression looks exaggerated, consider that he was in Marvel-movie shape before stepping into the role of the former president; the body transformation happened rapidly and jarringly. Trump’s size is a part of the film’s plot — as Trump’s sense of self inflates, so does he. In a rush to meet the shooting deadline for “The Apprentice,” Abbasi asked Stan, “How much weight can you gain?”

“You’d be surprised,” Stan tells me. “You can gain a lot of weight in two months.” (Fifteen pounds, to be exact.)

Now he’s back in fighting form, but the character has stayed with him. After years of playing second-fiddle agents of chaos — goofball husbands to Margot Robbie’s and Lily James’ characters in “I, Tonya” and Hulu’s “Pam & Tommy,” surly frenemy to Chris Evans’ Captain America in the Marvel franchise — Stan plunged into the id of the man whose appetites have reshaped our world. He had to have a polished enough sense of Trump that he could improvise in character, and enough respect for him to play him as a human being, not a monster.

It’s one of two transformations this year for Stan — and one that might give a talented actor that most elusive thing: a brand of his own. He’s long been adjacent enough to star power that he could feel its glow, but he hasn’t been the marquee performer. While his co-stars have found themselves defined by the projects he’s been in — from “Captain America” and “I, Tonya” back to his start on “Gossip Girl” — he’s spent more than a decade in the public eye while evading being defined at all.

This fall promises to be the season that changes all that: Stan is pulling double duty with “The Apprentice” and “A Different Man” (in theaters Sept. 20), in which he plays a man afflicted with a disfiguring tumor disorder who — even when presented with a fantastical treatment that makes him look like, well, Sebastian Stan — can’t be cured of ailments of the soul. For “A Different Man,” Stan won the top acting prize at the Berlin Film Festival; for “The Apprentice,” the sky’s the limit, if it can manage to get seen. (More on that later.)

One reason Stan has largely evaded being defined is that he’s never the same twice, often willing to get loopy or go dark in pursuit of his characters’ truths. That’s all the more true this year: In “The Apprentice,” he’s under the carapace of Trumpiness; in “A Different Man,” his face is hidden behind extensive prosthetics.

“In my book, if you’re the good-looking, sensitive guy 20 movies in a row, that’s not a star for me,” says Abbasi, who compares Stan to Marlon Brando — an actor eager to play against his looks. “You’re just one of the many in the factory of the Ken dolls.”

This fall represents Stan’s chance to break out of the toy store once and for all. His Winter Soldier brought a jolt of evil into Captain America’s world, and his Jeff Gillooly was the devil sitting on Tonya Harding’s shoulder. Now Stan is at the center of the frame, playing one of the most divisive characters imaginable. So he’s showing us where he can go. The spotlight is his, and so is the risk that comes with it.

Why take such a risk?

The script for “The Apprentice,” which Stan first received in 2019, but which took years to come together, made him consider the American dream, the one that Trump achieved and is redefining.

Stan emigrated with his mother, a pianist, from communist Romania as a child. “I was raised always aware of the American dream: America being the land of opportunity, where dreams come true, where you can make something of yourself.” He pushes the wings of his hair back to frame his face, a gold signet ring glinting in the late-summer sunlight, and, briefly, I can hear a hint of Trump’s directness of approach. “You can become whoever you want, if you just have a good idea.” Stan’s good idea has been to play the lead in movies while dodging the formulaic identity of a leading man, and this year will prove just how far he can take it.

“The Apprentice” seemed like it would never come together before suddenly it did. This time last year, Stan was sure it was dead in the water, and he was OK with that. “If this movie is not happening, it’s because it’s not meant to happen,” he recalls thinking. “It will not be because I’m too scared and walk away.”

Called in on short notice and filming from November 2023 to January of this year (ahead of a May premiere in Cannes), Stan lent heft and attitude to a character arc that takes Trump from local real estate developer in the 1970s to national celebrity in the 1980s. He learns the rough-and-tumble game of power from the ruthless and hedonistic political fixer Roy Cohn (Jeremy Strong), eventually cutting the closeted Cohn loose as he dies of AIDS and alienating his wife Ivana (Maria Bakalova) in the process. (In a shocking scene, Donald sexually assaults Ivana in their Trump Tower apartment.) For all its edginess, the film is about Trump’s personality — and the way it calcified into a persona — rather than his present-day politics. (Despite its title, it’s set well before the 2004 launch of the reality show that finally made Trump the superstar he longed to be.)

And despite the fact that Trump has kept America rapt since he announced his run for president in 2015, Hollywood has been terrified of “The Apprentice.” The film didn’t sell for months after Cannes, an unusual result for a major English-language competition film, partly because Trump’s legal team sent a cease-and-desist letter attempting to block the film’s release in the U.S. while the fest was still ongoing. When it finally sold, it was to Briarcliff Entertainment, a distributor so small that the production has launched a Kickstarter campaign to raise money so that it will be able to stay in theaters.

Yes, Hollywood may vote blue, but it’s not the same town that released “Fahrenheit 9/11” or even “W.,” let alone a film that depicts the once (and possibly future) president raping his wife. (The filmmakers stand behind that story. “The script is 100% backed by my own interviews and historical research,” says Gabriel Sherman, the screenwriter and a journalist who covers Trump and the American conservative movement. “And it’s important to note that it is not a documentary. It’s a work of fiction that’s inspired by history.”) Entertainment corporations from Netflix to Disney would be severely inconvenienced if the next president came into office with a grudge against them.

“I am quite shocked, to be honest,” Abbasi says. “This is not a political piece. It’s not a hit piece; it’s not a hatchet job; it’s not propaganda. The fact that it’s been so challenging is shocking.” Abbasi, born in Iran, was condemned by his government over his last film, “Holy Spider,” and cannot safely return. He sees a parallel in the response to “The Apprentice.” “OK, that’s Iran — that is unfortunately expected. But I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Everything with this film has been one day at a time,” Stan says. The actor chalks up the film’s divisiveness to a siloed online environment. “There are a lot of people who love reading the [film’s] Wikipedia page and throwing out their opinions,” he says, an edge entering his voice. “But they don’t actually know what they’re talking about. That’s a popular sport now online, apparently.”

Unprompted, Stan brings up the idea that Trump is so widely known that some might think a biographical film about him serves no purpose. “When someone says, ‘Why do we need this movie? We know all this,’ I’ll say, ‘Maybe you do, but you haven’t experienced it. The experience of those two hours is visceral. It’s something you can hopefully feel — if you still have feelings.’”

After graduating from Rutgers in 2005, Stan found his first substantial role on “Gossip Girl,” playing troubled rich kid Carter Baizen. Like teen soaps since time immemorial, “Gossip Girl” was a star-making machine. “It was the first time I was in serious love with somebody,” he says. (He dated the series’ star, Leighton Meester, from 2008 to 2010.) He feels nostalgic for that moment: “Walking around the city, seeing these same buildings and streets — life seemed simpler.”

Stan followed his “Gossip Girl” gig with roles on the 2009 NBC drama “Kings,” playing a devious gay prince in an alternate-reality modern world governed by a monarchy, and the 2012 USA miniseries “Political Animals,” playing a black-sheep prince (and once again a gay man) of a different sort — the son of a philandering former president and an ambitious former first lady.

When I ask him what lane he envisioned himself in as a young actor, he shrugs off the question. “I grew up with a single mom, and I didn’t have a lot of male role models. I was always trying to figure out what I wanted to be. And at some point, I was like, I could just be a bunch of things.”

Which might seem challenging when one is booked to play the same character, Bucky Barnes, in Marvel movie after Marvel movie. Bucky’s adventures have been wide-ranging — he’s been brainwashed and turned evil and then brought back to the home team again, all since his debut in 2011’s “Captain America: The First Avenger.” Next year, he’ll anchor the summer movie “Thunderbolts,” as the leader of a squad of quirky heroes played by, among others, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Florence Pugh. It’s easy to wonder if this has come to feel like a cage of sorts.

Not so, says Stan. His new Marvel film “was kind of like ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ — a guy coming into this group that was chaotic and degenerate, and somehow finding a way to unite them.”

Lately, knives have been out for Marvel movies as some have disappointed at the box office, and “Thunderbolts,” which endured strike delays and last-minute cast changes, has been under scrutiny.

“It’s become really convenient to pick on [Marvel films],” Stan says. “And that’s fine. Everyone’s got an opinion. But they’re a big part of what contributes to this business and allows us to have smaller movies as well. This is an artery traveling through the system of this entire machinery that’s Hollywood. It feeds in so many more ways than people acknowledge.” He adds, “Sometimes I get protective of it because the intention is really fucking good. It’s just fucking hard to make a good movie over and over again.”

Which may account for an eagerness to try something new. “In the last couple of years,” he says, “I’ve gotten much more aggressive about pursuing things that I want, and I’m constantly looking for different ways of challenging myself.”

The challenge continued throughout the shoot of “The Apprentice,” as Stan pushed the material. “One of the most creatively rewarding parts of the process was how open Sebastian was to giving notes on the script but also wanting to go beyond the script,” says Sherman, the screenwriter. “If he was interested in a certain aspect of a scene, he was like, Can you find me a quote?” he recalls.

Building a dynamic through improvised scenes, Stan and Strong stayed in character throughout the “Apprentice” shoot. “I was doing an Ibsen play on Broadway,” says Strong, who won a Tony in June for his performance in “An Enemy of the People,” “and he came backstage afterwards. And it was like — I’d never really met Sebastian, and I don’t think he’d ever met me. So it was nice to meet him.”

Before the pair began acting together, they didn’t rehearse much — “I’m not a fan of rehearsals,” Strong says. “I think actors are best left in their cocoon, doing their work, and then trusted to walk on set and be ready.” The two didn’t touch the script together until cameras went up — though they spent a preproduction day, Strong says, playing games in character as Donald and Roy.

After filming, both have kept memories of the hold their characters had on them. They shared a flight back from Telluride — a famously bumpy trip out of the mountains. “He’s a nervous flyer, and I’m a nervous flyer,” Stan says. Both marveled at the fact that they’d contained their nerves on the first day of shooting “The Apprentice,” when their characters traveled together via helicopter. “We both go, ‘Yeah — but there was a camera.’”

Stan’s aggressive approach to research came in handy on “A Different Man,” which shot before “The Apprentice.” His character’s disorder, neurofibromatosis, is caused by a genetic mutation and presents as benign tumors growing in the nervous system. After being healed, he feels a growing envy for a fellow sufferer who seems unbothered by his disability.

Stan’s co-star, Adam Pearson, was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis in early childhood. Stan found the experience challenging to render faithfully. “I said many times, I can do all the research in the world, but am I ever going to come close to this?” Stan says. “How am I going to ever do this justice?”

Plus, he had precious little time to prepare: “He was fully on board, and the film was being made weeks later,” director Aaron Schimberg says. “Zero to 60 in a matter of weeks.”

The actor grappled for something to hold on to, and Pearson sug gested he refer to his own experience of fame. “Adam said to me, ‘You know what it’s like to be public property,’” Stan says.

Pearson recalls describing the experience to Stan this way: “While you don’t understand the invasiveness and the staring and the pointing that I’ve grown up with, you do know what it’s like to have the world think you owe them something.”

That sense of alienation becomes universal through the film’s storytelling: “A Different Man” takes its premise as the jumping-off point for a deep and often mordant investigation of who we all are underneath the skin.

The film was shot in 22 days in a New York City heat wave, and there was, Schimberg says, “no room for error. I would get four or five takes, however many I could squeeze out, but there’s no coverage.”

Through it all, Stan’s performance is utterly poised — Schimberg and Stan discussed Buster Keaton as a reference for his ability to be “completely stone-faced” amid chaos, the director says. And the days were particularly long because Oscar-nominated prosthetics artist Michael Marino was only able to apply Stan’s makeup in the early morning, before going to his job on the set of “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.”

“Even though I wasn’t shooting until 11 a.m., I would go at like 5 in the morning to his studio, or his apartment,” Stan recalls. The hidden advantage was that Stan had hours to kill while made up like his character, the kind of person the world looks past. “I wanted to walk around the city and see what happened,” Stan says. “On Broadway, one of the busiest streets in New York, no one’s looking at me. It’s as if I’m not even there.” The other reaction was worse: “Somebody would immediately stop and very blatantly hit their friend, point, take a picture.”

It was a study in empathy that flowed into the character. Stan had spoken to Pearson’s mother, who watched her son develop neurofibromatosis before growing into a disability advocate and, eventually, an actor. “She said to me, ‘All I ever wanted was for someone to walk in his shoes for a day,’” Stan recalls. “And I guess that was the closest I had ever come.”

“The Apprentice” forced Stan, and forces the viewer, to do the same with a figure that some 50% of the electorate would sooner forget entirely. And that lends the film its controversy. Those on the right, presupposing that the movie is an anti-Trump document, have railed against it. In a statement provided to Variety, a Trump campaign spokesman said, “This ‘film’ is pure malicious defamation, should never see the light of day and doesn’t even deserve a place in the straight-to-DVD section of a bargain bin at a soon-to-be-closed discount movie store, it belongs in a dumpster fire.” The campaign threatened a lawsuit, though none has materialized.

Asked about the assault scene, Stan notes that Ivana had made the claim in a deposition, but later walked it back. “Is it closer to the truth, what she had said directly in the deposition or something that she retracted?” he asks. “They went with the first part.”

The movie depicts, too, Ivana’s carrying on with her marriage after the violation, which may be still more devastating. “How do you overcome something like this?” asks Bakalova. “Do you have to put on a mask that everything is fine? In the next scene, she’s going to play the game and pretend that we’re the glamorous, perfect couple.” The Trumps, in “The Apprentice,” live in a world of paper-thin images, one that grows so encompassing that Donald no longer feels anything for the people to whom he was once loyal. They’re props in his stage show.

“The Apprentice” will drop in the midst of the most chaotic presidential election of our lifetime. “The way it lands in this extremely polarized situation, for me as an artist, is exciting. I won’t lie to you,” says Abbasi.

When asked if he was concerned about blowback from a Trump 47 presidency, Stan says, “You can’t do this movie and not be thinking about all those things, but I really have no idea. I’m still in shock from going from an assassination attempt to the next weekend having a president step down [from a reelection bid].”

Stan’s job, as he sees it, was to synthesize everything he’d absorbed — all those videos on his phone — into a person who made sense. This Trump had to be part of a coherent story, not just the flurry of news updates to which we’ve become accustomed.

“You can take a Bach or a Beethoven, and everyone’s going to play that differently on the piano, right?” Stan says. (His pianist mother named him for Johann Sebastian Bach.) “So this is my take on what I’ve learned. I have to strip myself of expectations of being applauded for this, if people are going to like it or people are going to hate it. People are going to say whatever they want. Hopefully they should think at least before they say it.”

It’s a reality that Stan is now used to — the work is the work, and the way people interpret him is none of his business. Perhaps that’s why he has run away from ever being the same thing twice. “I could sit with you today and tell you passionately what my truth is, but it doesn’t matter,” he says. “Because people are more interested in a version of you that they want to see, rather than who you are.”

“The Apprentice” has been the subject of extreme difference of opinion by many who have yet to see it. It’s been read — and will continue to be after its release — as anti-Trump agitprop. The truth is chewier and more complicated, and, perhaps, unsuited for these times.

“Are we going to live in a world where anyone knows what the truth is anymore? Or is it just a world that everyone wants to create for themselves?” Stan asks.

His voice — the one that shares a slight accent with Trump but that is, finally, Stan’s own — is calm and clear. “People create their own truth right now,” he says. “That’s the only thing that I’ve made peace with; I don’t need to twist your arm if that’s what you want to believe. But the way to deal with something is to actually confront it.”

[simply-ivanka]

Are the Democrats trying to assassinate President Trump, or are they just rooting for it?

Shortly after Donald Trump was inaugurated after the 2016 election, a so-called comedienne posted a picture of herself holding Trump’s severed, bloodied head. That apparently passes for comedy among Democrats.

In a presentation of Julius Caesar in the venerable Shakespeare in the Park production in New York City a few months later, a likeness of Trump was cast in the role of Caesar. I don’t need to remind you what happens to Caesar in the end.

The violent rhetoric from Democrats just keeps on coming, through Trump’s first term, into this year’s re-election campaign, and right up to weeks before the election. And now, it’s predictably escalating from violent rhetoric and into violent acts.

A month ago, a would-be assassin missed Trump’s cranium by a quarter-inch with a bullet from an AR-15, only because Trump luckily turned at the last possible second. It came out that the Trump campaign had requested beefed-up security prior to the incident, and the White House had denied his request.

The Secret Service at the time was headed by a DEI hire, and the agents at the event were test-failing amateurs. They allowed the shooter within 130 yards of Trump on an unsecured rooftop. Even after they saw him there, with a gun, they failed to take him out and failed to alert Trump or his staff until he’d fired eight shots, killing one man, seriously wounding another, and grazing Trump’s ear.  

In an apparent admission of near-lethal negligence by the Service, five agents were later suspended.

Their replacements seem not much better. In yesterday’s attempt, a Democrat donor got within easy range of Trump on a golf course with a rifle equipped with a high-powered scope. The shooter was wearing a Go-Pro, apparently to post his assassination on YouTube where Democrats everywhere could cheer it. He was thwarted only because he was foolish enough to poke his rifle out of the bushes, where an agent happened to see it.

The shooter had been on the golf course for at least 12 hours. One must wonder, how did he know Trump’s golfing schedule at least 12 hours in advance?

Even now, after two assassination attempts that missed due only to incredible luck or Providence, President Trump is not afforded the level of protection that President Biden or even Vice President Harris receives.

Most recently, President Doofus again falsely accused Trump of saying that neo-Nazis are “fine people” even though that accusation has been thoroughly debunked even by leftist fact-checkers.

Kamala Harris repeated the lie in her debate with Trump – and was not corrected by the moderators even though the moderators purported to correct at least seven Trump statements (some of which were not factual claims, but mere opinions).

You might think the mainstream media would condemn these assassination attempts in the strongest words possible. But if you do think that, then you haven’t been paying attention to the mainstream media for the last ten years.

The mainstream media is implying – no, they’re outright stating – that Trump has all this coming because he’s a Republican who says nasty things. The Washington Post has already dismissed the assassination attempt and has framed it instead as Trump unfairly capitalizing on the incident politically.

The media take their cue from Biden and Harris. They routinely equate Trump with Adolf Hitler, the mass murderer of millions.

The Democrats let their rank and file connect the dots: Everyone has been taught, correctly, that killing Hitler would have been a heroic act that would have saved millions. So, the Democrats don’t exactly say “kill Trump” but they do suggest you’d be a hero if you did.

[totaly-obsessed]

My Smart Girl

Ella Toone x reader fic

-> Ella's girlfriend has just finished Exam season and she treats her to a much-needed self-care day.

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Be a student - they said.

It will be fun – they said.

And while you loved what you learned, being very passionate about languages and communications, you currently hated your life. It was Exam season. Five exams in a single week is your life currently. Or as you and your peers liked to call it – Hell.

Studying day in, day out. On top of that working and somehow surviving.

Your girlfriend of two years, Ella, was currently off-season, having just come back after the loss in Australia. She had been devastated but having time off and spending time with friends, family and you helped her to continue. The Manchester United player was incredibly grateful for you and your never-wavering support as her wag.

With you now needing her more than ever, she took pride in being your wag. She cooked for you, brought you coffee, massaged your tense shoulders and she was always there, in case you needed her.

The brunette was currently squinting at the sun while leaning against her car. Today was your (hopefully) last exam and she wanted to be your personal chauffeur.

Ella was nervous. She had planned an exciting day for you, and couldn’t wait for you to be done. The sun felt nice on her face, having spent so much time inside, being by your side – so she basked in it.

Closed eyes, relaxed eyebrows, the whole deal.

“Are you sleeping?” You sounded tired as your voice ripped her away from the sunny beach in Ibiza.

“Nah. I’d never.” With a cheeky smile, she pulled you into her arms, burying her face in your neck. “How did it go?”

Your facial expression gave your uncertainty away before you could answer. “Meh.”

She chuckled as she pressed a kiss to your hair “Always so descriptive.” With gentle hands, you were pushed off her, so that the United player could open her passenger door for you.

“C’mon, then ma lady. Let’s go!” After giving her a sweet kiss on the corner of her mouth you took your usual place. Ella rounded the car and just seconds later the two of you had taken off, leaving your University behind you.

“You won’t believe it!”, a gentle smile graced the brunette's face as you started going off about this dude in your course. Her hand gently laying on your thigh squeezing it every now and then. “- And then he just took my pen!”

“No, he didn���t!”

“Yes, he did!”

A soft pinch was delivered to your side, “Well did ya tell him that ya girlfriend is a famous Footballer?” You couldn’t help but laugh, throwing your head back against your headrest.

“I don’t think he would be intimidated by you Els. But don’t worry I got it back -  I even told him off!”

“Prod of ya baby.” You weren’t one to confront your problems, usually having Ella at your side for that.

When your girlfriend took a left instead of your usual right turn, you got confused. “Baby I think you-“

The mischievous smile on her face made you swallow your words. “Ella, where are we going?”

“Excuse me, Missy! Who is Ella? Should I be worried?” Now it was Ella's turn to laugh, the brunette pulling up to a big complex.

“C’mon then lovie.” You were still staring at the building while your favorite brunette had already opened your door, taking you by the hand and gently pulling you out of your seat.

“What is this Ella?” This time she didn’t say anything to her name.

“Thought you deserve some relaxation, so welcome to your spa day!” Tears brimmed in your eyes threatening to fall. “Nuh-uh baby. None of that! Let's get you prim and proper, huh?”

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Nearly 130 minutes later the two of you saw each other again, having separate treatments. Although Ella has booked you the same package, she wasn’t able to get a session for two, so the both of you had some quiet time. Your skin had never felt so soft, and your neck could finally move again.

A full body massage, an Indian head massage, a salt scrub, a spa facial, and ear candles. It was a whole lot of relaxation, and while the ear candles felt weird at first, you were suddenly able to hear colors.

The both of you were now sat in the footballer's car again laughing about how Ella had moved too much so that her masseuse had told her of multiple times.

“Alright – I have two more stops for us lovie!” Wide eyes looked at her, making Ella laugh even more.

“Well, I wanted to spoil you to death. I am so proud of you.”

“We don’t even know if I passed Els…”

“Doesn’t matter. You gave it your all – you studied so much.” Just a couple minutes later you were at a place you knew very well – Ella’s hairdresser.

It was a nice contrast to the spa – you were with your girlfriend singing along to upbeat music and laughing a lot with Immy, the nice girl who did your hair.

“You got so much love Little Jeannie and you take it where it strikes and give it to the likes of me…” The United player was currently belting ‘Little Jeannie’ by Elton John, directly in your face, when Immy turned your chair around so that you could see yourself.

“Look at you, Honey! Fresh as new!” Ella loved your hair, it was so incredibly soft and for the entirety of the next car drive, she kept petting it.

In a good mood, she pulled you into the next building.

“Ella! Back already?” A team of women sped around the corner, excited to see why she was back, three days after having her nails done.

“Nah not for me. For the Missus.” The name got you to blush, averting your eyes while the girls squealed in glee.

Your girlfriend was having a great time, watching you be so overwhelmed. Two girls were doing your nails (each one hand) while another girl styled and dyed your eyebrows. The fourth girl was on her phone showing you options on how to get your lashes done.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

After three hours of being pampered, gossiping, and exchanging numbers with the girls, you were finally back home.

In your shared bed Ella tugged you close to her. “Thank you El’s. Don’t think I’ve said it yet.”

The footballer smiled, pressing a small kiss to the corner of your mouth, lingering there for just a second.

“Anything for you lovie… I am so proud of you – my smart girl.”

[cosyvelvetorchid]

☃️🦷💍 id love to see how you combine these

Your wish is my command!

Enjoy!

🩶

**********

They stamped the snow from their feet before stepping into the cabin and dropping their bags. It was a small, simple cabin—open plan living area and kitchen, and a bedroom at the back with an en suite bathroom. There was a huge sectional in front of the fireplace—this is what drew them to this particular cabin because it was big enough for them both to fit on it—and a big TV in the corner.

“I can’t believe we’re actually on vacation.” Buck excitedly said. “A whole weekend in a cabin with no work, no fires, no medical emergencies.. just me and you.”

Tommy slid his arms around Bucks waist and kissed him chastely. “What do you want to do first?”

“First I’d like to eat because I’m starving. Why don’t you take the bags into the bedroom and I’ll get started on dinner.”

“Yes boss.” Tommy teased with a wink.

After finishing eating dinner and washing up, they settled on the sofa to watch a movie. Buck had insisted that as Tommy had flown them there, he got first pick and he chose The Terminator. Mostly because he knew Buck liked it.

By half way through the movie Buck had already fallen asleep on Tommy’s chest. Tommy draped a blanket over them both and carried on watching the movie, snacking on popcorn.

He threw another few pieces into his mouth and immediately screamed out in pain, jolting his body and almost sending Buck flying off the sofa.

“What?! What is it?!” Buck jumped up looking around trying to figure out what was going on. Quickly he noticed Tommy bent forward with his hand holding his cheek.

“Babe? What’s wrong?”

“It’s.. ah! My.. my tooth, I.. broke it..ah!” He was in an immense amount of pain and to be honest Buck was a little scared. He’d never seen Tommy like this before. He’d always been so calm and squared away.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Uh, hold on..” he rushed to the kitchen and threw some ice into a ziplock bag and wrapped it in a dish towel.

He lifted it towards Tommy’s face and he flinched away. “It’s okay, Tommy. It’s just some ice. It’ll help.” Tommy took the ice and put it on his face. He hissed at the feel of it. He was heavy breathing and couldn’t sit still—too much adrenaline from the pain.

Thankfully they’d managed to find an emergency dentist a few miles away and a quick uber call later they were walking inside.

Tommy had broken in half one of his molars on a popcorn kernel, exposing the nerve. The dentist—whom Buck was convinced was 130 years old—said he could fill the hole and give him a temporary cap until Tommy could get to his usual dentist.

An hour later, he was (temporarily) fixed, and high as a kite on pain meds, but ready to go back to their cabin. Buck helped walk him in to the cabin and lowered him onto the sofa.

“Wow do I live here?” He asked; his words sluggish.

Buck laughed. “Uh, no, babe we’re on vacation.”

Tommy stared at Buck with heavy eyes. “My boyfriend is not gonna like that. He a firefighter.”

“I’m your boyfriend, babe.” Buck reminded him, putting a blanket over him.

“No!” Tommy protested. “My boyfriend is really pretty.”

Buck laughed again and debated whether to take his phone it and record this. “He is, huh?”

Tommy nodded emphatically. “The prettiest. He has an adorable birthmark on his face and really soft hair.”

“He does sound pretty.” Buck played along.

“His tummy is my favourite though. Oh wow! His looks like yours! I just want to go BOOP-“ he poked Buck lower stomach with his finger “all the time.” He smiled happily. “I like to rest my head on it sometimes. It’s like a warm pillow.”

Buck couldn’t hold in the laugh this time. Tommy was just to freaking adorable high.

“Hey, hey!” Tommy whispered, gestured with his hand for Buck to come closer. “Can I tell you secret?”

“Sure.”

“I’m going to propose to him this weekend.” He whispered.

Bucks heart damn near stopped.

“You-you are?” He asked, trying to hide the shake to his voice. Tommy nodded emphatically again.

“Yep. I have a ring and everything.” He leaned to the side to lie on the sofa.

“You do, huh?” Buck gently lifted Tommy’s head to place a pillow underneath.

“I got his sister to help me pick it out. She’s really pretty too. But I don’t want to marry her. I want to marry my Evan.” His eyes were getting heavier.

My Evan.

Buck had to use all of his energy not to cry right there at hearing Tommy call him that. It was such a simple thing but it reminded him that he belonged to someone.

“I’m kinda scared though.” Tommy said.

“Of what?”

“He might say no. I don’t want him to say no. I want him to say yes.” He had the most adorable pouty facial expression and Buck had to work hard to resist kissing it off him.

“I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.” He told Tommy.

“How do you know?”

Buck sat on the edge of the couch and ran a gentle hand through Tommy’s hair, smiling as Tommy hummed in contentment.

“I have a feeling he’s going to say yes.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss Tommy’s forehead as sleep took him.

[godisshook]

Movie Night

Zach was the best friend I could have. He was nice, a nerd just like me, and so so funny. One time, some bully tried to beat me up because I was gay, and Zach stood face to face with him and almost fought him if a teacher didn’t break them up before any fists could be thrown. He was the most genuine guy I knew, and when I found out we were both going to the same high school, I was overjoyed. He was incredibly driven, and despite him not being crazy smart, always was successful at anything he put his mind to.

Sometime during our sophomore year he started really getting into working out, and he was making some progress, but I would always joke that he was just a “muscular shrimp” to which he would usually reply, “At least I HAVE muscle.” And he wasn’t wrong, I was 5’7 and 115 pounds, not the most built individual, most definitely.

We were always hanging out until the pandemic hit later in sophomore year. All of a sudden we were home, and I couldn’t talk to my best friend like usual. We kept in touch through discord and would call each other almost every day after class. When Zach got a girlfriend our junior year, we stopped talking almost completely, and I had a breakdown. When we were back in class senior year, he had completely changed. His girlfriend cheated on him before the year started, and broke up with him three weeks before the first day of class. He started going to the gym a lot more it seemed and even took a firefighter course, which I thought was super cool, even if I would never say it to his face.

When we got back senior year, he looked completely different. A guy who was once 5’8 and only 130 pounds was now 6’2 and 185 pounds of pure muscle. He apologized for not talking to me for so long, saying that he needed time to just focus on himself, which I thought was bs but accepted because I still really valued him as a friend. In class, I would still joke with him, and he would welcome them, flexing as I said that his arms were too big, or he looked like a dorky jock if that was even possible.

The transition back made it so that we would alternate days going to class, and so we were still not seeing each other, but during one of his firefighting classes, I snuck in and attended with the teacher being none the wiser.

We also made a new tradition, a movie night over zoom. It was our way of still hanging out, even though we were busy and couldn’t just go to each other's places. I would constantly pick horror movies, and Zach would pick action every time. It was fun and allowed me to connect with my old buddy even as our lives became more hectic.

I noticed that as time passed, Zach became even more jock-ish, and would start calling me small and saying that he could easily lift me, which I took to great offense in a joking way of course. As we were watching Scream one night, I see Zach on my other monitor with his shirt off, flexing and looking straight at me. “What are you doing?” I say, looking at him incredulously. “Nothing.” he replied in a low tone. I shrug it off as him probably just being weird, and go back to finishing the movie.

I manage to sneak in a screenshot of him as he was doing it, and kept it in my camera roll for “blackmail.”

I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about that night the following week, and one day in class, while daydreaming, Zach interrupts my waking dream by saying, “Do you wanna come to my place for movie night this weekend?” I look up at him and reply, “Of course!” I felt as if the old days of our friendship were coming back, and was so excited to go. His parents were out of town, and this is the whole house would be empty aside from us two. We decide that it would be better if I just spent the whole weekend there, so packed a suitcase on Friday to bring over.

We played board games all day, and then went into playing Fortnite, which he hard carried me in, having to explain half of the game to me the whole time.

It was my turn to pick the movie again, and I wanted to pick Nightmare on Elm Street because I wanted him to see all the "classics." When I came back from a bathroom break, he said I had practically missed half the movie, to which I swiftly play-punched him in the shoulder, and then immediately regretted my decision as it felt like punching straight iron. Despite this, we start play fighting, but as I vastly underestimated his new strength, and vastly overestimated mine, I found myself pinned against the couch as both of my wrists were in his hands.

I look up at him, and as he stares back, I notice his sweatpants start to rise. As the shape of his cock takes form in his sweatpants, he begins taking off his jacket, and I rush to pull my shirt off. There's a mutual hunger, a horniness only created after years of knowing each other, and it was releasing itself tonight.

I rush to pull off his sweatpants, and begin sucking him off. "Fuckkkkkkk" he groans as I wrap my tongue around his shaft and start licking all over it. He pushes my head down on his cock as I gag, saying, "How do you like that?" "Itsthhh sooo guuuuddd" I say between breaths as his cock goes down my throat again. I had never seen him like this, it was like a beast took over him. He takes me and lifts me up, ripping my underwear and placing his cock into the hole he created in it.

He starts pushing me up and down on his cock as I'm on his chest, and every time he pulls me up he goes in for a kiss, a small bit of sweetness breaking through the roughness.

Slowly, he starts to walk upstairs, with me still being hoisted up, and with his dick in me. Every step up causes it to go deeper, and as he gets on the stair it comes out ever so slightly. I moan in pleasure as he does this, and he slaps my ass as I do. When we get to his bedroom, he throws me on the bed and rips off the shreds of underwear I had left.

He fucks me for what seemed like years, taking his massive cock and digging it all in my tight hole. It felt like it was going up into my chest, and I rolled my eyes back as he kept fucking. After the backshots, he turns me over and fucks me, hugging his body towards me, and sliding his dick in and out. His abs were grinding against my cock, and I came as he started pulling in and out of me quickly. With him going faster and faster, I felt his dick get warm in my ass, and soon he started to groan, and hot cum leaked from his dick into me, and he laid on my chest with his cock still in my ass.

As I was walking home commando, I couldn't help but think about how good it was, and texted him, "Where did you get THAT energy from?" to which he replied, "From wanting you since day one." I will admit, that made me blush. Zach was now my regular fuckbuddy, and the sex was mindblowing. I looked forward to our "movie nights" every week, and even though we would never make it through a movie again, at least I get good sex in exchange.

[spriteforgirls]

PSA: EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTIVE AND RESOURCES

Now feels like a good time to put out some info regarding emergency contraceptive, and what options exist. Please remember to look out for and help those around you who can get pregnant.

Levonogestrel (Plan B) and Ulipristal Acetate (Ella) are the two most common emergency contraceptive pills currently available on the US market. Plan B is effective up to 72 hours after intercourse and Ella's is effective up to 130 hours after (but it's *most* effective in that first 72 hours.) Generally speaking, the sooner you take them, the more effective they are. Both have shelf lives of up to 4 years. Plan B is less effective if you are over ~150lbs. Some countries recommend taking a 1.5x or 2x dose of Plan B if you are over ~200lbs, as this is generally deemed safe. Ella, however, is less affected by weight and should only be taken at a single dose.

Regardless, something is always better than nothing, so don't just write off Plan B entirely because of your weight. It may be *less effective* if your weight is higher, but it's NOT *ineffective*.

There is also something called the Oral Yuzpe Method, which utilizes standard hormonal birth control pills. A few things are important to make note of here: 1.) Like Levonogestrel and Ulipristal Acetate, the yuzpe method works to prevent ovulation. It will NOT terminate an existing pregnancy. 2.) The Yuzpe Method is less effective than Plan B or Ella. 3.) The Yuzpe method generally comes with more side effects than Plan B or Ella. 4.) Despite this, when push comes to shove, once again, something is better than nothing.

The Oral Yuzpe Method, as previously mentioned, is an off-label use of BC pills. It generally calls for taking 2 large doses of BC pills taken 12 hours apart. How large that dose is varies on the exact pills, but generally speaking, it's usually about 4. Here is a dose reference table from the American Academy of Family Physicians:

So, for example, if the BC pills you have are Levora, you would take 4 pills all at once, then 12 hours later, you would once again take 4 more pills, adding up to a total of 8 pills taken.

The third and final emergency contraceptive I will touch on in this post is IUD insertion. I put this last on the list because, in general, it's already quite difficult to find and access a physician willing to place an IUD on very short notice, and I suspect that will only get more difficult as time passes.

But, in the rare instance where a willing physician is available within 72 hours of the unprotected intercourse, you can request placement of a copper IUD (like Paraguard). It may be more difficult to find a physician willing to place a hormonal IUD (like Mirena, Kyleena, Liletta, or Skyla.) on short notice as this would be considered an off-label use.

The exact reason why copper IUD placement works isn't completely understood, but like the previous two methods, it is NOT a way to terminate an existing pregnancy and likely works by preventing ovulation before fertilization occurs.

[fanfics4all]

Fainting

Request: Yes / No Thank you @badthingshappenbingo​ for my card! 

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Fangs Fogarty x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 3747

Warnings: Bulimia, Self-harm, Starvation

Y/N: Your Name 

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

Prompt(s):

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(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Fangs and I have lived together for about a month now, and in that month I’ve managed to hide the fact that I fucking hate my body. No one knew and I was too worried about being judged to tell anyone. I knew deep down that Fangs would never judge me, I mean we’ve been dating for three years now, but the voices always win in the end. So that’s why I spend a lot of time in the bathroom whenever Fangs goes out without me. 

“I’ll be back in a bit, babe!” Fangs called. He was going out with Pea for a job with the Serpents. 

“Okay! Be careful!” I called back. Ironic I’m telling him to be careful when I sit at home and throw everything up. 

“I will, love you!” He said. 

“Love you too!” I said and heard the door close behind him. I waited a bit to make sure Fangs wouldn’t walk back in because he forgot something. The last time that happened I pretended to shower so he wouldn’t hear me. Once I was sure he wouldn’t come back I got off our bed and walked into the bathroom. I pulled out the scale and took a deep breath before I stepped on it. I closed my eyes and tried my best not to shake. I took another calming breath and slowly peeled my eyes open to look at the horrid number. 130 pounds… I sighed, at least I lost two pounds since yesterday. I didn’t really eat anything yesterday. Or the day before. Or the day before that. In fact, I couldn’t really remember the last time I ate a proper meal in which I didn’t throw up a few hours later while Fangs was asleep. It was probably a year ago? Someone at school made a comment about me that I brushed off in the moment, but it was like a silent switch flipped in my brain. After that, I went home and stared at the mirror, noticing all the imperfections about myself. That was the day I decided to lose weight. When normal methods weren’t working, I turned to the extreme. It was the only thing that gave me results… It didn’t help that I started comparing myself to people Fangs talked to. The girls were way prettier than I am. The boys were skinnier than me. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that Fangs chose me out of everyone. I couldn’t think of any reasons that Fangs stayed with me all this time, or even why he asked me to move in with him after my trailer burnt down. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy with Fangs, but something in my head just isn’t on the same page as my heart. 

I sighed and looked down at the number once again. 130 pounds. It was below the average weight of my age group, but 120 or even 110 would be way better. I stepped off the scale and looked at myself in the mirror. 

Look at your thighs, they’re so fat. Don’t forget that huge stomach of yours. Did you see that girl he was talking to at the bar last week? Now she was perfectly skinny. The perfect body. 

I sighed and ran my fingers over my body. Fat. That was all I could feel. I was fucking fat. No matter how little I eat, or how much I worked out. I will always be fat. Fat and fucking ugly. I would never be perfect like those people Fangs talk to. I took off my clothes and looked in the mirror again. I stared at my stomach. Even though the scale says I got smaller, to me it looks like my stomach has grown another twenty pounds. My stomach growled as I lightly touched it. I hated the hunger pains, but the feeling of emptiness was too addictive. I love feeling like I finally was in control of my body. I moved my hands down to my thighs and felt the small scars that were slightly raised. When I first started that’s how I would punish myself when the workouts didn’t work, or if I gained another pound or two. That didn’t last long since Toni found out and told Fangs. I wasn’t too attached to the cutting, so that was easy to stop. The sharp pain as the razor glided through my skin, pulling beads of crimson up through the cut, wasn’t as good as the starving. It didn’t make me feel better like not eating. I shook my head and glanced over at the toilet. I’ve become very acquainted with it. My head was shoved inside it at least twice a day. Sure my stomach was empty, but I knew I could still get some stuff out of me. I kneeled down and gently lifted the lid. I stared down into the toilet and took a few breaths. Throwing up on an empty stomach always hurt, but it was worth it to lose those few pounds. I opened my mouth and took my pointer finger into my mouth. I slowly pushed it to the back of my throat and gagged once I found the spot. I was good at not pulling my finger out when I gagged now, so I just kept pushing on it. My stomach was screaming in pain as it tightened with each gag. It took a few minutes, but eventually, I felt the burning creep up my throat. I pulled my finger out and leaned over the toilet. I watched as the bile flew into the water and already felt a little lighter. It wasn’t much, but every little bit helps. I took a few breaths to recover and quickly pushed my finger back inside my mouth. Once again it took a bit, but I eventually threw up more bile. It still wasn’t enough though. I kept going and going until my head started to spin. I felt really dizzy and weak, but it was working. I felt lighter. I kept going until black dots invaded my vision. I fell back on my ass and held my head. 

“J-Jus-st a b-bi-it mo-ore…” I slurred to myself. I tried to get back up so I could finish, but I just fell to the floor more and my vision turned completely black… 

*Fangs POV* 

I walked back into the trailer with a smile as I carried some Pop’s for me and Y/N. I placed the bags and drinks on the coffee table and noticed Y/N wasn’t there. Must be in our room with her laptop or something. 

“Babe, I’m back! I brought Pop’s.” I called but got no answer. 

“Baby?” I called again, thinking she couldn’t hear me. Still nothing. 

“Y/N, you asleep or something?” I said as I walked towards our bedroom. She wasn’t there. I furrowed my brows and wondered if maybe she went out with Toni or something. I pulled out my phone and called her. I heard her phone ring and followed it to the bathroom. I quickly hung up and walked over to the bathroom. The shower wasn’t running so she should have heard me. 

“Y/N? Baby? You in there?” I asked as I gently knocked. No answer. My heart started pounding faster and I quickly opened the door. I stopped in shock as I stared inside the bathroom. Y/N was lying on the floor, looking unnaturally skinny and there was vomit in the toilet. I quickly rushed over to her and checked her pulse. The small thump from her neck made me sigh in relief. I carefully pushed my hands under her and lifted her up. I gasped when I felt how light she was. How did I not notice how much weight she lost? How did I not notice how her bones were starting to be visible through her skin. I shuddered and felt tears pushing themselves to the surface. How the hell could I be such a shitty boyfriend and not realize the love of my life was putting herself in so much danger. I carefully made my way to our room and gently laid her down. I grabbed one of my shirts and carefully put it on her, she was drowning in it. I tucked her in so she wouldn’t get cold and checked that she was breathing again. I sighed and left to deal with the bathroom. Once I was done cleaning I grabbed her some water and placed it on the nightstand. I pulled up a chair and sat next to her. I stoked her hair and tried my hardest to think of what could have made her do this, or even when she started. I blamed myself for not seeing anything different. I believed every smile Y/N always put on. Every laugh she made. How the hell did I not see anything!? I tried to calm myself down, but I was so angry with myself. Maybe even a very small part of me was mad at her for not coming to me, but I pushed that away. I shouldn’t be mad at her, she needs me more than ever. I grabbed my phone and decided to call Toni and see if she knew anything about this. 

“Hey Fangs, what’s up?” She answered after the second ring. 

“Did you notice anything off about Y/N lately?” I asked, getting right to the point. 

“Uh, no? Why? What’s up?” She asked, worry clear in her voice. 

“I came home and she was passed out in the bathroom with vomit in the toilet. She’s really fucking skinny Toni…” I said, feeling a tear involuntarily fall down my cheek. 

“What? How skinny?” She asked. 

“Like I can see her ribs starting to poke out.” I answered and she gasped. 

“W-What? H-How?” She asked and I sighed. 

“I don’t know, T. I didn’t notice anything different…” I said quietly. 

“How? Have you guys not… ya know?” She asked and my eyes widened. 

“We’ve both been busy, but every time she’s just wanted to ya know, please me…” I said and felt my stomach turn slightly. She’s been hiding this for so long… 

“Shit Fangs, are you at the hospital? Want me and Pea to come by?” She asked and I shook my head. 

“I just have my bike and I-I don’t know what the hell they’ll do to her. I’m scared to take her there. What if they say she’s dying, or they lock her up, or I don’t know…” I sighed. 

“Fangs if she’s really bad you’ve gotta take her to the hospital, they’ll help her.” She said, gently. 

“Toni I can’t, what if she never forgives me for that? Clearly, she’s been hiding this for a while I don’t want her to hate me…” I said, fully crying by now. 

“Listen, Fangs, you wanna help her, right?” She asked with a sigh. 

“Yes…” I whispered. 

“Then you gotta take her. I’ll call Pea and we can use his truck, okay?” She asked and I shook my head again. 

“Can’t I just wait till she wakes up? They’re gonna keep her there for who knows how long.” I said and she sighed. 

“I don’t think you should wait. What if this isn’t the first time she’s passed out?” She asked and my eyes widened. I didn’t think about that. 

“J-Just let me wait till she wakes up first. Let me talk to her.” I begged and she sighed. 

“Fine, but you call me after, you got it?” She asked. 

“I promise.” I said and she sighed again. 

“I’m still calling Pea and letting him know what’s going on.” She said and I sighed. 

“Fine, just keep him from barging in, I don’t wanna scare her.” I said and she agreed. We said our goodbyes and hung up. 

I sat there in silence as I just stared at Y/N. I couldn’t stop thinking about how awful I am for not noticing anything. She hid it really well, which hurt. I had stopped crying but didn’t bother wiping my face. I just held her hand and stared at her. That’s when she started shifting. She slowly opened her Y/E/C and looked around for a moment before they landed on my dark brown ones. Neither of us moved or made a sound, just stared at the other. 

“I’m sorry…” She mumbled after a moment. She looked down and a tear rolled down her cheek. 

“Never. I mean never, do that again.” I choked out as my tears returned. Y/N looked up silently and reached up with her other hand to wipe away my tears. 

“You shouldn’t cry over me, I’m not worth it…” She whispered as she continued to caress my cheek. I felt the anger return and pulled back from her. 

“No Y/N! Don’t you ever think that! You’re more than worth it, you’re my perfect girl. I don’t understand why you even thought you needed to lose weight in the first place, but you’ve always been perfect! You’re beautiful, funny, caring, and amazing! I love you, I always have. I can’t stand seeing you do this to yourself when you don’t need to. I saw what was in the toilet, when was the last time you ate?” I asked and she had more tears falling down her gorgeous face. 

“I-I don’t know. Yesterday at lunch? I don’t know. I-I…” She started crying harder. I pulled her in for a gentle hug and stroked her hair. 

“How long have you been doing this babe?” I whispered. 

“A-A ye-year…” She answered between sobs. My heart broke and I sighed. I held her for a bit longer and gently pulled her back once she calmed down a bit. 

“Baby, you need to eat and actually keep it down. You need to get better, Y/N. Please.” I said and she shook her head. 

“I-I can’t! Looking at all those people that you talk to, they’re so much prettier than me! They’re skinnier, hotter, cooler, everything! Those people at school made me realize that I’m never going to be like them. I’m never going to be good enough for you…” She said, sobbing into her hands. My eyes widened as I stared at her. Who the fuck said that to her? She’s always been perfect, my everything… I gently pulled her hands away and tried to catch her eyes, but she avoided me. 

“Y/N, look at me, please?” I asked quietly. She looked up and she looked so broken. 

“Y/N Y/L/N, I love you more than anything. I always have and I always will. No one in this damn world could ever compare to you, baby. You’ve always been my number one and I have never even thought of another person. Guy or girl. You don’t need to change yourself just because some jealous bitch said something to you. I will always love you no matter what.” I said and she sobbed. 

“Do you mean it?” She asked in a broken whisper. 

“Every word baby. I promise you that I love you with every piece of my heart. I just want you to get better right now. You passed out Y/N, do you know how scared I was?” I asked quietly. 

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” She cried and I pulled her into my chest. 

“Shhh, it’s okay baby. You don’t have to be sorry okay? We’re gonna get you some help and get you better, okay?” I asked and she nodded. 

“Now, I gotta call Toni and tell her you woke up before she and Pea come breaking down the door.” I said and her eyes widened. 

“Y-You told Toni and Pea?” She asked with more tears falling. 

“I called to see if Toni noticed anything with you, I was so worried Y/N.” I said, caressing her cheek and wiping the tears. She closed her eyes and leaned into my touch. 

“Toni wanted me to take you to the hospital and I know I should have, but I just didn’t want to lose you.” I admitted and she looked up at me. 

“I’m so sorry, Fangs…” She said and I shook my head. 

“You don’t need to be sorry, baby.” I said and kissed her forehead. 

“Now let me call Toni and maybe I can convince her to not take you to the hospital, but you have to eat a bit of the Pop’s I brought home, deal?” I asked and she nodded while taking a shaky breath. 

“I’m not gonna make you eat all of it, but you need to eat at least a little okay? We’ll work on this slowly.” I said and she nodded. 

“O-Okay…” She whispered. I smiled and kissed her head once more before I went to get the food. When I walked back in she was fiddling with her hands. She looked up and I saw her sniff the air subtly. Her stomach growled and I smiled slightly. I walked over and placed the food on her lap, but left the milkshake in the other room. It would be way too heavy for her right now, even if she did love them. 

“I got your favorite, but I think we’re gonna skip the milkshake today and just stick with water, alright?” I asked and she nodded. Her shaky hands took out the burger and fries and gently laid them on the blanket. 

“Alright, I’m gonna sit right here and call Toni and you’re gonna start eating, okay?” I asked and she nodded. I pulled out my phone and called Toni as I watched Y/N slowly start to eat the cold fries. I watched as she put the first one in her mouth and she moaned slightly. I smiled as she continued eating them. 

“Fangs! Is she awake?” Toni answered. 

“Yeah, she’s awake.” I answered and I heard her sigh. 

“Perfect, I’m with Pea and Juggie right now and we have the truck so we’ll be over in a few and we can take her to the hospital.” She said as I heard movement from her side. 

“I don’t think we’re gonna need to take her to the hospital.” I said as I watched her pick up the burger. She took a bite and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. I chuckled and smiled at her. 

“Fangs she passed out, she needs to go to the fucking hospital.” Toni said, slightly annoyed. 

“I think we can deal with this ourselves, T.” I said and she groaned. 

“Seriously? You agreed to take her to the hospital when she woke up.” She said and I sighed. 

“Just come over and see, I promise we got this.” I said and she sighed. 

“Fine, we’re already on our way.” She said and hung up. I hung up and saw Y/N was halfway done with the burger. 

“Slow down babe.” I said with a small chuckle. She blushed and looked over at me. 

“Sorry…” She mumbled and I smiled at her. 

“Don’t be, I know you’re hungry, but like I said we gotta take it slow.” I said and she nodded. 

A few minutes later, our front door was opening. We heard three sets of footsteps coming towards us and Y/N looked scared. I grabbed her hand and gently gave her a reassuring squeeze. The door opened and in walked Toni, Pea, and Jughead. They all looked at Y/N with wide eyes and Toni rushed over to her other side. She pulled her in for a hug, which Y/N returned. 

“Are you crazy? Starving yourself or throwing shit up, whichever. How long has this been going on, huh?” Toni asked and Y/N looked down in shame. 

“Toni, relax. We already talked about it and look she’s already eating.” I said and grabbed Y/N’s hand again. 

“I’m sorry…” Y/N said quietly again. 

“Babe I already told you, you don’t need to be sorry.” I said. 

“No Fangs is right, sorry Y/N/N, I’m just worried.” Toni said, taking a seat on the bed next to her. 

“We all are.” Jones said. She looked up at Pea and Jughead and they each smiled at her. 

“Yeah, so who ass do I need to beat for starting this shit?” Pea asked and Toni rolled her eyes. Y/N laughed and I smiled at her. 

“If I’m honest I don’t even remember who said something…” She said and blushed slightly. 

“I just know it was about a year ago and that’s when I started looking at myself differently. I just hate how I look and constantly compare myself to everyone else and…” She trailed off. 

“Wait, that’s when you started cutting, were you doing this too?” Toni asked and Y/N shook her head. 

“No, I started after you guys helped with that…” She said with a guilty tone. 

“Oh Y/N…” Toni said and pulled her in for another hug. 

“I’m so-” 

“Nope, don’t you dare apologize.” Toni said, cutting her off. 

“Yeah, we’re sorry for not noticing anything.” Jones said and Y/N shook her head. 

“I hid it, there was no way you guys could have known. I mean I was wearing clothes that were a bit too big for me so you guys wouldn’t see my weight change.” She said and we all looked at each other. That explains a bit. 

“We’ll that’s fucking over, let’s go get you some more food.” Pea said and she shook her head. 

“I’m kind of full.” She said and I placed the rest of the food on the nightstand. 

“That’s okay, like I said, slow.” I said and she nodded with a small smile. 

“Fangs is right, we gotta take this slow, but we’re all here for you and we’re gonna help every step of the way.” Toni said with a smile. Pea and Jones also nodded and Y/N teared up. 

“You guys are the best and I’m really so-” 

“Stop apologizing Y/N/N, or I’m gonna kick your ass.” Pea said and she laughed a real genuine happy laugh. We all smiled at her and I gently squeezed her hand. This might be a hard and long road ahead, but we would all support her every step. I think she finally realized that she’s amazing and if not we would all be here to remind her.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @emo-godess-loves-you @hiya-imthatgirl @mindsetjupiter @averysinclaire @mittelerde1999 @sweetest-peas @rousewriter @camiconfessions-blog @thecaptainsgingersnap @cenyddtheunicorn @jacksxsouthsideserpents @lover2448 @mamacobie13 @fandom-princess-forevermore @liz-owl

[blackcat419]

Rewriting HotD: Plot breakdown of Fire and Blood the Dance of the Dragons

Part 1: 101 A.C. To 129 A.C.

The following is an in depth plot breakdown of F&B where character moments, plot beats, difference in sources, and missing details will all be analyzed and possible solutions proposed. The timeline will start in 101 A.C. with the first great council as where the seeds of the dance were thoroughly sowed and watered to the death of Jaehaera in 133 A.C.

This is the first part of my rewriting HotD series. The next part will talk more about character arcs and expanding on them using the enneagram as a jumping off point.

Page numbers will be cited from my copy of fire and blood the 2022 Trade Paperback Tie-in Edition.

Legend

Bold for the year

Italic for character moments

Blue for Orwyle’s account

Purple for Munkun’s A True Telling

Green for Septon Eustace’s The Reign of King Viserys

Red for Mushroom’s The Testimony of Mushroom

Orange for rumors that have no source

Pink for minor sources where their credibility and bias will be discussed when they come up

(Parenthesis) will be used when I deem it necessary to comment on the story either about the plot or how the fandom views the story.

[brackets] will be used for when I want to add real world historical context.

Where Gyldayn does not identify which source he is using or which sources disagree with eachother, it will be assumed that all sources agree with each other.

Biases of sources

While each source is biased towards one claimant over another, this is too simple of an understanding of these sources. Each source is pushing their own understanding of the world, either implicitly or not.

Orwyle wrote his account after being arrested by Cregan Stark and thrown into the black cells. He served as Grand Maester after the death of Mellos in 217, was thrown in the black cells when Rhaneyra took KL in 130, released by Ser Perkin later that year, he was then imprisoned again in 131 by Cregan where he wrote his accounts, he escaped and was re-imprisoned and continued writing his account, and he was later executed in 133. His bias is based in trying to save his own life by appealing to Cregan and trying to show he wasn’t a traitor. So while biased towards Rhaenyra, he’s biased towards making himself look as best as possible with motivations of saving his own life. He’s a primary source from his stationing as Grand Maester till Rhaenyra takes Kings landing and from when Rhaenyra flees Kings Landing and he’s re-imprisoned by Cregan. While Orwyle is imprisoned, he can only be a second hand source at best.

Munkun bases his work on the writings of Orwyle and takes up the position of Grand Maester in 131 when Cregan removed Orwyle. Munkun uses a lot of Orwyle’s sources but because Orwyle is currently writing his own account, I believe Munkun is using his Maester notes which could be less biased as Orwyle wasn’t writing them to help save his own life. Munkun also had access to Orwyle to talk about his recollection of the war. Munkun is a second hand source for anything happening before 131 and only a first hand source for Kingslanding after 131.

Eustace wrote his work after the war. He served as septon to the red keep from Viserys’ death until Aegon III’s reign and his dismissal by Unwin Peake. The Sept has been in conflict recently with the Targaryens leading to the dissolution of the faith militant and the implementation of Targaryens exceptionalism doctrine. Eustace can be seen as biased against the Targaryens in general because of this conflict. Eustace also shies away from salacious accounts, he doesn’t like Rhaenyra, and thinks Northmen are savage. He is a first hand source for much of what happens in the red keep.

Mushroom’s account was written down by an unknown author and covers Mushroom’s time as a fool for King Viserys and later Princess Rhaenyra. Mushroom was in Kings Landing as fool for King Viserys until 113 when he left with Rhaenyra for dragon stone, he returns in 126 with Rhaenyra to Kings Landing but leaves before Viserys’ death in 129, he returns in 130 when Rhaenyra takes Kings Landing, he remains in Kings Landing when Rhaenyra flees, he remains in Kingslanding until Manfryd Mooton travels to Braavos to escape the gloom of the red keep. Mushroom is first and foremost an entertainer and tells his story to entertain instead of inform. He is biased towards Rhaenyra as her fool but he is more biased towards a fun and salacious story. He’s a first hand source for Kingslanding until 113, a bit after 126, and after 130 till he leaves for Braavos. In the times in between he’s a firsthand source for Dragonstone and at best a second hand source for Kings landing.

101 A.C. The First Great Council

Otto arrives at Kings Landing with his wife and children, Alicent becomes the constant companion of King Jaehaerys, and Jaehaerys mistakes her for his daughter Seara pg. 351

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Alicent: Alicent is described caring for the king like a personal care assistant would do in modern times.

(The word ‘precocious’ is used to describe 15 year old Alicent here and many have taken it to mean she was sexually developed and sleeping with Jaehaerys. I disagree as precocious means quickly developing but is not exclusive to sexual development. Because it’s quickly followed by descriptions of Alicent assisting Jaehaerys as a live in care person, I believe this is meant to show that Alicent is more mature mentally and is taking on the caretaker role earlier than she is expected to.)

103 A.C. The king is dead, long live the king

Jaehaerys dies while Alicent reads Barth’s ‘Unnatural History’, his body is burned and entered on Dragonstone, and women reportedly tore their garments in Dorne. [the act of tearing ones garments from their body was seen as a way to mourn in ancient times. Cleopatra reportedly rendered her garments when she learned that Anthony attempted suicide.] pg. 351-2

Viserys ascends the throne, Aemma has already suffered multiple miscarriages and lost a boy shortly after birth, Rhaenyra is 6. Pg. 352

The practice of placing eggs in cradles is picked back up around this time and many dragons are hatching in the dragon pit. Pg. 352

Criston first comes to notice at the melee at Maidenpool where he defeated Daemon, gave Rhaenyra the laurel and asked for her favor, and unhorsed the cargyll twins in the joust. pg 358-9

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Viserys: Described as generous, amiable nature, and well loved by lords and smallfolks. Pg 352

Viserys & Aemma: host lots of feasts and tourneys and lavish gold, offices, and honors on their favorites. Pg 354

Otto: described as proud, brusque (curt), and haughty. The longer he served the more power he gained. Pg 354

Daemon: Ambitious, impetuous, moody, charming, hot-tempered, bored by Rhae Royce, the Vale, and governing. Pg 354

Rhaenyra: precocious, bright, bold, and beautiful. Pg 354

(Precocious is also used to describe Rhaenyra here and I believe it’s meant to draw a parallel between our two leads. Both are smarter than their years)

104 A.C. Rhaenyra Takes Flight

Rhaenyra: becomes a dragon rider at age 7. Syrax is a claimed dragon, not a cradle egg. She’s bold and dragon-riding at a very early age. Pg 354

105 A.C. Heir for a day

Viserys announces that Aemma is pregnant again. She dies giving birth to a son named Baelon who dies shortly after Pg 358-9

Criston Cole is appointed to the kingsguard at age 23 pg 358

Lyonel Strong is invited by Viserys to Kings landing and brings his 4 kids, his two daughters become Rhaenyra's hand maidens, Harwins joins the gold cloaks, and Larys joins the king's confessors. Pg 359

Observed but by who? Daemon is seen saying 'Heir for a day' while drunk in the street of Silk. The book gives us two sources for the rumon, the sex worker sitting on Daemon's lap or one of his drinking buddies. Why would his friend or someone he pays turn on him? Pg 359-60

Viserys names Rhaenyra heir and held a lavish ceremony for lords to swear fealty pg 360

Daemon leaves Kingslanding with Mysaria for Dragonstone and gets her pregnant and presents her with a dragon egg. pg 360

Viserys tells Daemon to send Mysaria away and return to Rhae Royce. Daemon does so, Mysaria returns to Lys and loses the child.

Viserys is suggested to remarry. Runciter suggests Laena Velaryon who is 12. Viserys decides to marry Alicent who is now 18. Pg 361

Rumors at Court suggest that Otto is moving above his station and planned for Alicent to marry Viserys. The rumors also question Alicent's virginity and wonder if she slept with him before Aemma died. Again, who is spreading these rumors? Unlike with Daemon, we don't even get a vague mention at who to judge them better. pg 361

Mushroom restates the rumors above along with Alicent doing 'more than just reading' for Jaehaerys. I again do not believe these rumors as they seem to come up only when Otto and Alicent are advancing politically. pg 361

Daemon and Corlys are both upset at the news of Viserys marrying Alicent. Pg 361

Laena is betrothed to the sea lord of Braavos' son. pg 375

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Viserys: makes Rhaenyra his cupbearer at age 8 and is not seen without her after. He drinks a lot and Rhaenyra is there to serve him wine. Pg 354. Refuses to name Daemon heir but forgives any of his offense. Pg 355 gets mad enough at Daemon and commands him which he rarely does. pg 360 Viserys is also uncharacteristically firm when choosing to marry Alicent and not 'for reasons of state' (perhaps after Viserys lost his wife, son, and his brother left Kings Landing, he wanted someone who would take care of him like Alicent did Jaehaerys. I do not think they were sleeping together before Aemma's death.) Pg 361.

Daemon: Takes the lead of the gold cloaks and gives them better armor, made the city more orderly, and had an 'eye for an eye' style of punishment. Takes an interest in Mysaria. Wants to be named heir but isn't. Pg 355 Speaks of his brother in disdain after being commanded to leave dragonstone. Pg 360.

Rhaenyra: is smitten with Criston (she is 9 at this time so childhood crush) and has him named her personal protector.

Criston: (we don't have much written on his character, just how others react to him. The ladies are smitten and daemon hates him but Cole isn't described like how the other characters are with a list of traits.) pg 359

Lyonel: mistaken for a brute and dumb but just a large, silent, and very smart man. Pg 359

Laena: Fiery, bold, adventurous. Claimed Vhagar at 12 or younger which is very bold and brave. Pg 360-1. The Maester of High Tide says that Laena is more interested in dragon riding than in boys. Pg 361.

Unknown Years between 103-105 A.C.

Eustace, Mushroom, and Otto's letter to his brother tells us that Otto greatly disliked Daemon. Otto's own writings on his feelings about Daemon should be believed as its his own testimony backed up by other sources. But do take his claim that Daemon would be 'a second Maegor the Cruel' with a pinch of salt. Pg 358

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Otto: hates Daemon and uses his influence as hand to remove him from each position Viserys gives him. Pg 358

Daemon & Rhaenyra: Rhaenyra is fond of Daemon and he brings her gifts when he crosses the narrow sea. Pg 355

Viserys: Doesn't try to claim a dragon (Viserys is the first Targaryen who's dragon died before him and had the opportunity to claim a dragon, but never did) Pg 355. Hates conflict and tries to make peace between Otto and Daemon (we'll see him using this tactic again soon) pg 358.

106 A.C. The Marriage and War begin

Viserys marries Alicent and Velaryons are absent. Pg 361-2

Daemon meets with Corlys and they plan to invade the stepstones and take them from the Triarchy. Pg 362.

Viserys supports Daemon by giving gold for the war. Pg 364

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Alicent: calls Rhaenyra 'daughter' at her wedding. Filling that caregiver role?

Corlys: When slighted, he takes to war to assert his power.

Daemon: When pushed away from his brother, he seeks power through war.

Viserys: tries to fix tensions between him and Daemon by using his power as king to support him. Viserys is reported to say 'let daemon play at war, its keeps him out of trouble' pg 364

107 A.C. Aegon

Aegon is born. pg 365

108 A.C. Crab Ate

Daemon defeats Craghas Crabfeeder and cuts off his head with Darksister. Pg 363

Cregan Stark is born ph 416

109 A.C. King of the stepstones

Daemon and Corlys control all but 2 of the Stepstones islands. Pg 364

Helaena is born. pg 365

Otto is removed as Hand after pushing for Aegon to be made heir and Lyonel Strong takes his place Pg 365

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Daemon: Declares himself king of the stepstones. Pg 364

Corlys: Places the stepstone crown on Daemon's head. Pg 634

110 A.C. War returns

The Triarchy and Dorne unite to continue fighting in the stepstones. Pg 364

Aemond is born half the size of Aegon but twice as fierce Pg 365

Unknown Years between 106 A.C. - 110 A.C.

Lords and knights seek Rhaenyra's favor but shes only interested in Criston Cole.

---

Alicent: Alicent says at court 'Ser criston protects the princess from her enemies but who protects the princess from ser criston?' Pg 365. no longer using 'daughter' and may be faining concern or actual concern for the princess's virtue around Criston.

Viserys: Keeps Rhaenyra as heir but doesn't argue why when questioned, just states as fact. Interesting level of stubbornness pg 365. Hates the conflict between his wife and daughter but doesn't address the root of the problem and just uses his ability as king to keep the balance through parties and gifts. Pg 365

111 A.C. The second quarrel

Visery's and Alicent's 5th wedding anniversary and Alicent and Rhaenyra wear their signature dresses to assert their sides.

The Blacks have a better tourney performance with Criston as Rhaenyra's champion. He unhorses Alicent's unknown champion, two cousins, and her younger brother Gwayne. Pg 366 (this perhaps shows that Rhaenyra is in a better position than Alicent?)

Daemon rides in the tourney but hasn't declared for a side. Pg 366

Daemon remains in Kingslanding for half a year.

Daemon returned to his old goldcloak friends in the street of silk and treated Alicent with respect but no love. He spends a lot of time with Rhaenyra, gives her gifts, and mocks the greens. pg 367

Grand Maester Runciter says Daemon and Viserys quarrled again and Daemon leaves for the step stones again. pg 367

Eustace says Daemon seduced Rhaenyra and took her virginity. The two were discovered by Ser Arryk and brought to Viserys. Rhaenyra begs to marry Daemon but Viserys denies it and confines Rhaenyra to her room and sends Daemon away. Pg 367-8

Mushroom says Rhaenyra wanted Criston so Daemon tutored her with kissing lessons, touching men for pleasure, but they did not have sex. Criston was horrified and spurned Rhaneyra. The story comes out in part thanks to mushroom. Daemon tells Viserys to let him marry Rhaenyra and Viserys tells Daemon to leave Pg 368-9.

Daemon leaves for the stepstones pg 369

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Rhaenyra: the act of wearing 'the dramatic red and black dress' is Rhaenyra's first step into the feud with Alicent. She is 14. following Eustace and Mushroom's account, we get the idea that Rhaenyra is now exploring sexually and perhaps looking for love in either Daemon or Criston who are both denied to her pg 369

Daemon: gives his crown over to Viserys, perhaps showing that family is more important to Daemon than power. Pg 367 Eustace and Mushroom both agree that Daemon was explicitly active with Rhaenyra and its seems in both cases was doing to to grasp at power. pg 369

112 A.C. Rhaenyra's Suitors

Grand Maester Runciter dies and is replaced by Mellos. Pg 369

Lord Commander Ser Harrold Westerling dies and is replaced by Criston Cole. Pg 369

Rhaenyra visits the Trident and the sons of lord blackwood and bracken fight over her in a duel, a younger son of house Frey asks her to marry him, the Lannister twins quarrel over her. pg 369 (while not stated, its pretty clear that Rhaenyra is on tour looking for a husband)

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Viserys: declines to wed Rhaenyra to Aegon stating 'The boy is Alicent's own blood... She wants him on the throne.' interesting separation of himself from his son and seeing Alicent wanting her son to be king as a bad thing. Again, Viserys declines to fix the root problem.

113 A.C. Betrothal of Fire and Sea

Rhaenyra is betrothed to Laenor and concerns about him being gay are dismissed. pg 370

Rhaenyra refuses to marry Laenor, also refers to Alicent's kids as half brothers. Only relents when Viserys threatens to disinherit her. pg 370.

Eustace says that Criston asks Rhaenyra to run away with him and Rhaenyra declines. Pg 370-1 (I believe Eustace more as its in line with Rhaenyra choosing power over personal happiness or freedom)

Mushroom says Rhaenyra asked Criston to take her virginity and Criston refuses 'even when Rhaneyra used the arts she had learned from Daemon' Pg 371 (so simple sexy pose or blowjob? probably just sexy pose). Rhaenyra then has sex with Harwin Strong and Mushroom claims to have found them together the next morning. pg 371

Rhaenyra leaves for Driftmark with the strong sisters, mushroom, and Harwin as her new champion.

Dalton Greyjoy is born (world of ice and fire)

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Rhaenyra:Rhaenyra chooses power over her own happiness by agreeing to wed Laenor to keep her spot as heir. Eustace says that Rhaenyra begs for Viserys' forgiveness after he threatens to disinherit her while mushroom says she spits in his face. Pg 370 Eustace and Mushroom dispute how much she was willing to grovel for her father's forgiveness.

Viserys: uncharacteristically strict and threatens to disinherit Rhaenyra if she doesn't marry Laenor. Perhaps he wants everything to go the way he imagines it and does not want people upsetting his ideas for the future?

Criston: turns from being loyal to Rhaenyra to loathing her. Pg 371 (was this because Rhaenyra tried to seduce him or scorned him?)

114 A.C. Marriage of Fire and Sea

Rhaenyra and Laenor are married. She's 17 and he's 20. pg 372

Rhaenyra gives Harwin her favor and Laenor gives Jeoffrey Lonmouth his favor. Pg 372 (Showing that these two pairs are both lovers now). Criston takes Alicent's favor after being denied Rhaenyra's Pg 372 (was Criston still holding out hope for Rhaenyra?)

Criston wins the tourney, breaking Harwin's collar bone and putting Jeoffrey in a coma where he dies 6 days later. Pg 372

The animosity between Rhaenyra and Alicent was noted by envoys in letters to Pentos, Braavos, and Old Volantis Pg 372

Laenor returns to driftmark while Rhaenyra remains in Kingslanding. pg 372

Eustace says Rhaenyra and Laenor only shared a bed a dozen times (12) and Mushroom adds that Qarl Correy joined them as well and Rhaenyra would either watch them or seek out Harwin. pg 373

Rhaenyra's pregnancy is announced and Jacaerys is born a 'large strapping lad, with brown hair, brown eyes, and a pug nose' pg 374

Alicent gives birth to Daeron who is noted as traditional Targaryen coloring (pale hair and purple eyes) pg 374

Viserys orders Jace and Daeron share the same wet nurse. pg 374

Addam of Hull is born pg 443

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Laenor: was only knighted before wedding Rhaenyra. Lover of Jeoffrey Lonmouth and according to mushroom sat by his bed till he died. pg 372

Criston: leaves Rhaenyra's party to join Alicent being either scorned or repulsed by Rhaenyra enough to fight in a blind fury.

Rhaenyra: doesn't leave with Laenor and stays in Kingslanding. Is clearly not interested in Laenor and prefers spending time with Harwin her new champion.

Viserys: Again does not address the main issue between the blacks and greens and instead tries to have Jace and Daeron be raised closer together.

115 A.C. Daemon and Laena travel diaries

Rhae Royce dies and runestone passes to her nephew pg 374

Daemon leaves the war in the stepstones to try and claim runestone but is denied and told to stay out of the Vale by Jeyne Arryn. pg 374

Daemon leaves for Driftmark where he duels and 'makes short work' (unknown is betrothal is broken or he dies) the sea lord of Braavos' son. He then marries Laena and they fly across the narrow sea first to Pentos, then across the Disputed Lands, then to Old Volantis, Rhoyne, Qohor, and Norvos. Pg 375-6

Rhaenyra gives birth to Lucerys in the later part of the year. Eustace says that Laenor and Harwin were by her side. Pg 376

Rhaenyra leaves for Dragonstone as she and Alicent can't stand each other pg 376

Laenor is said to visit "frequently" (frequently is in quotations implying that he is not actually visiting frequently?) pg 376

Alyn of Hull is born pg 443

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Daemon: again tries to claim power by claiming Runestone but is denied. He then marries Laena either for love as the singers says but singers are known to romanticize things. More cynical men say because she gave him a way to keep from falling in the line of succession more. But Laena is not ahead of Daemon in the line of succession and marrying her won't stop him from being further down the line so I'm more inclined to believe he fancied her. (perhaps Laena and Daemon both fought in the stepstones or met more there?) pg 375

Laena: we can discern that Laena is very adventurous and loved to travel.

Viserys: Is happy to meet Luke and doesn't seem worried about him not looking Targaryen.

Alicent: According to Mushroom told Laenor to keep trying to get one that looks like him which could show that Alicent is aware that Luke and Jace are not Laenor's and is slyly letting him know she knows.

Rhaenyra: She now decides to leave kingslanding for dragonstone when she had previously chosen to stay in kingslanding.

116 A.C. The Second Quarrel ends

Baela and Rhaena are born and called "Daemon's first trueborn children" Pg 376 (Implying he has bastard children?)

Viserys and Daemon reconcile over Daemon now being a father. Pg 376-7

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Daemon: seeks his brother's forgiveness again.

Viserys: forgives his brother again believing fatherhood changed him.

117 A.C. Bastardy Rumors Spread

Jeoffrey is born pg 377

Rumors spread in the Greens that Harwin is the father of Rhaenyra's sons. These rumors would support Alicent in getting Rhaenyra out of being heir but we know that Viserys does not care. Mushroom says Harwin is the father and Mellos hints at Harwin being the father. Eustace acknowledges the rumors but dismisses them. (Interestingly Eustace claims Rhaenyra slept with Daemon but does not believe her children were fathered by Harwin). Pg 377

The Velaryon boys are given dragon eggs by royal decree. (The Targaryen boys are not given dragon eggs in contrast) pg 377

Rhaenyra gains weight after childbirth. Mushroom says she resented Alicent for staying slim. Pg 377

Eustace says Viserys placed Jace on his knee and said the iron throne would be his one day. Pg 377

The Targaryen boys and Velaryon boys become rivals but still train and study together Pg. 377-8

Rhaenyra is close with Laena and Daemon Pg 378

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Rhaenyra: is fond and more than fond of Laena perhaps implying a romantic interest or just a very close friendship? Pg 378

Viserys: has eggs placed with the Velaryon boys but not his own kids with Alicent. Perhaps wanting to dispel rumors as quickly as possible and assert their legitimacy.

118 A.C. The Betrothals

Viserys agrees for Rhaenyra to have Jace (4) and Luke (3) betrothed to Baela and Rhaena (2). pg 378

119 A.C. Laena Conceives

Laena gets pregnant again and Rhaenyra joins her on dirftmark. Pg 378

120 A.C. The Red Spring

Laena dies of childbed fever (basically infection from unsanitary conditions) and gives birth to a boy dragon baby who quickly dies Pg 378

Daemon flies to Dragonstone to get Rhaenyra's more skilled Maester Geradrys but he arrives too late pg 378

Mushroom says Rhaenyra and Daemon sat vigil over Laena's body and she comforted him while he grieved pg 378

Merchants at a fair in Spicetown say Laenor and Qarl quarreled and Qarl stabbed Laenor to death before fleeing. A large crowd of people are more likely to have the true story as it's harder to sway them all. Eustace also agrees with the merchants and says Qarl was motivated by jealousy of Laenor leaving him. Mushroom says Daemon payed Qarl to kill Laenor to make room for himself as Rhaenyra's husband. pg 379

Corlys offers a reward for Qarl's head but he's never caught. pg 379

Aegon and Helaena are both dragon riders of Sunfrye and Dreamfyre respectively pg 380

Daeron has Tessarion but has not ridden her yet. Pg 380

Aemond claims Vhagar but is ambushed and fights the velaryon boys. Luke slashes out Aemond's right eye (weirdly changed to his left in the show) pg 380-1

Viserys tries to make each side apologize to one another. Alicent demands Luke's eye and Rhaenyra says Aemond should be questioned "sharply" (tortured). pg 381

Aemond claims Aegon told him the Velaryon boys are strong and Aegon says everyone can tell. pg 382

Lyonel and Harwin die in Harrenhal by fire. Pg 383

Rumors say the fire was either a mischance or black Harren's curse. Mushroom says Corlys set the fire to get revenge for Laenor being cucked (why now after three kids?). Eustace says Daemon did it to remove his love rival. Another rumor was Larys did it to get Harrenhal as his seat. Mellows says Viserys ordered Harwin's death to hide Rhaenyra's affair with him and that Lyonel's death was unforeseen because he wasn't supposed to accompany his son back home. Pg 383

Viserys sends for Otto to replace Lyonel as hand. Pg 383

Rhaenyra remarries to Daemon with both of their previous spouses having not been dead for half a year. pg 383 Eustace says they married in secret knowing Viserys would not allow it. Mushroom says Rhaenyra was again pregnant and did not want a clear bastard. Pg 384

Rhaenyra gives birth to Aegon at the end of the year and according to Mushroom, named him Aegon to slight Alicent. pg 384-5

---

Laena: wants to ride Vhagar one last time before she dies showing her love and connection to her dragon.

Daemon: must have loved Laena a lot to try so desperately to save her life.

Rhaenyra: comforts Daemon (non-sexually) after Laena dies. But remarries to Daemon quite quickly, perhaps showing not desire for Daemon but need for a powerful ally?

Viserys: makes fun of Aemond by saying he can claim an egg or hatchling if he's bold enough. This also shows that Aemond was not given a cradle egg. pg 380. Viserys is more concerned about rumors of Rhaenyra's kids' bastardy than Aemond losing an eye, one being treated with threats of tongues being removed while the other is forced to kiss and make up. Viserys also decides to not make Rhaenyra Hand to avoid more conflict between her and Alicent, again unwilling to address tension and rather ignore it till he can't. Pg 383

122 A.C. Viserys and Sibling Marriage

Rhaeanyra gives birth to Viserys and his dragon egg does not hatch. Pg 384

Viserys weds Aegon (15) to Helaena (13). Pg 384

---

Viserys: interestingly weds Aegon and Helaena together, most likely to keep Alicent from seeking marriage alliances.

Aegon: Lazy and somewhat sulky. Drinks and fondles serving girls.

Helaena: Happy and described as making a fine mother (so caring and attentive?)

123 A.C. Twins Born

Jaehaerys and Jaehaera are born. Both get and hatch cradle eggs. Jaehaerys is polydactly and Jaehaera is described as slow to grow. 385

Mushroom claims Aegon fathered a bastard boy on a maiden from the street of silk and a girl by one of his mother's maidservents. Pg 386 (How would he know this being on Dragonstone?)

126 A.C. Take his head

Daeron is sent to oldtown to be a cupbearer and squire for Lord Hightower. Pg 386

Corlys falls ill with fever and the issue of succession is raised. Pg 386

Corlys's nephew Vaemond claims he should be heir as Rhaenyra's kids are bastards. Rhaenyra has Daemon behead Vaemond and feeds his head to her dragon. Pg 386 Vaemond's younger cousins, his wife, and his sons flee to Kingslanding to plead their case and their tongues are removed. Pg 386

Viserys cuts his hand open on the throne had has two fingers removed. pg 387

Cregan overthrows his Uncle as regent and imprisons him and his cousins. Pg 416

---

Alicent: While it is not stated, I believe Alicent sent Daeron away for his own safety after Vaemond was killed.

Rhaenyra: Escalating what she's willing to do to keep power, no longer is she bending to Viserys' wishes like she did as a teen or sneaking behind his back, this is out-in-the-open murder.

Viserys: Again esculating his covering for Rhaenyra allowing her to order the death of another highborn.

127 A.C. The Feast for the lost fingers

Maelor is born and given a cradle egg Pg 386

Viserys holds a feast for his recovery and Rhaenyra and Alicent attend with all their children. The court chronicles record that the two sides looked to mend things. Mushroom says that once Viserys left, fighting broke out between the kids. Pg 387

Viserys stops sitting the iron throne and Mushroom claims to be entertaining the king. Pg 387

Maester Mellos dies and is replaced by Orwyle by the Citadel. Pg 388

Daenaera Velaryon is born.

---

The Velaryon and Targaryen Boys: All three (assuming Daeron and Jeoffrey are there as well despite not being mentioned) boys go out of their way to provoke eachother.

128 A.C.

Cregan’s wife Arra Norrey dies in child birth to his son and heir pg 416

Dalton avenges his uncle’s death in the Stepstones and claims the sea stone chair (world of ice and fire)

129 A.C. 3rd day of the 3rd moon

Helaena brings her children to Viserys' room and he tells them a story about Jaehaerys. Viserys dies in his sleep. Pg 390

---

Viserys: his last act is to tell a story of a Targaryen king to his grandchildren.

Thanks for reading the first half of the timeline breakdown for rewriting HotD!

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Every Lifetime - Part 2

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1.1K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: emo Astarion, guilt, mostly fluff tbh

When Withers told Astarion he could bring anyone back. His mind flit to you immediately. The thought of you coming back. He felt a sliver of hope, something he hadn’t felt in ages. 

“She died… 130 years ago…” Astarion mumbled, afraid the animated skeleton would turn him down.

“Thou must have the proper payment…” Withers spoke. 

Astarion fumbled, shoving coins into the boney hand. “I strike thy name from the archives… rise…” Withers spoke, moving his arms while saying the incantation.

A shimmery blue outline of a body appeared, you slowly came into focus. There you were. You felt confused. Like you had just woken up from a deep sleep. Your eyes slowly adjusted, focusing on the pale elf in front of you. Astarion? Arms encircled you in a crushing grasp, crumbling to the ground. You noticed strangers watching you, all looking at you two with faces of confusion. You slowly brought your arms around his waist. This felt so unreal. Astarion kissed your neck and face before landing on your lips. You kissed him slow and deep. You never wanted him to slip away from you, not even for a moment. Leaning your foreheads together you both sat there a moment. Fresh tears coating each of you faces.

“How?” You asked with a stuttered breath.

“In every lifetime. Always.” He kissed your cheeks, you smiled loosely. 

“Do you want to try standing up?” Astarion whispered, holding the undersides of your arms, ready to pull you up with him. You nodded. You were wobbly, every part of you cracked and stretched deliciously. You gave a tiny wave to those around you who were still watching. Astarion ignored them, finding time later to explain what just happened sounded like a better idea than trying to do it now. Astarion gently led you over to his tent, sitting you gently on his bedroll, he sat in front of you. You admired one another in a comfortable silence. You let your hand reach out for him, your fingers caressing his cheek. He leaned into your touch, closing his eyes and kissing your palm at the action. 

“What do we do now?” You asked, a hint of apprehension in your voice. You’d been in the ground a long time, the fear of re-entering society seemed daunting. 

“I suppose we… carry on?” Astarion laughed slightly at the end, it sounded so simple but he knew the challenges ahead. 

You held his hands, smoothing your fingers over the backs of them. “Can’t believe you brought me back.” You smiled up at him briefly.

Astarion’s smile faltered, “Why’s that?”

“I just thought… maybe you’d... Forgotten about me? Found a new love, a new life. I wouldn’t blame you if you had, you know that right?” You didn’t want to be dreary but the thoughts weighed you down slightly. Astarion’s happiness is all that mattered to you, even if you weren’t a part of it anymore. 

Astarion shook his head roughly, “You’re my only love, my only life. My position is by your side no matter what. No matter where.” 

You kissed him again, skidding the shoulders of your shirt down so your chest was revealed. You had waited so long to have him again, and judging by his reaction, he was just as eager. He pulled you close, grabbing at your exposed flesh. He worshiped every part of you that night. As you did him. Centuries had passed and he still knew your body like it was his own. You found pleasure and love in one another endlessly that night. 

When you awoke, you found Astarion gazing at you, running his fingers deftly over your face. “Hello little love.” he whispered, kissing you. 

“Ya know… I never thought we’d get to do that again.” you blushed a bit pulling the blanket closer to your chest. 

“Alas, I never gave up hope of getting to enjoy all of this again.” he said in a flirtatious tone. 

Astarions smile faded when he ran his thumb over your neck. Moving your hair he saw the scar of two puncture wounds. Even in resurrecting you, it could not destroy the evidence of your cause of death. Astarion felt sick about it. He remembered the taste of you. He could taste your fear, and worst of all, he liked it. It drove him to the brink of insanity, it wracked him with guilt. 

You took his hand in yours, kissing his fingertips. “It wasn’t your fault.” you whispered. 

“Doesn’t make it haunt me any less.” he pulled you into his chest, trying to radiate his apology somehow. You could see how horrible he felt and it broke your heart. You kissed him softly, pecking his lips over and over again before he relented and kissed you back. He threw your leg over his hip, pulling you closer. 

“It was never, and will never, be your fault. The past is gone. When you open your eyes, the world will be a better place.” You whispered to him while you thumbed over his cheek bones, kissing the tip of his nose before he opened his eyes.

You’d always know how to talk to him, ever since you were children. Nobody had a way with him quite like you did. He smiled at you softly, how was everything always so easy with you? You’d been gone for so long and yet, it felt like you had never left. You picked up right where you left off. He adored that about you; he adored everything about you. 

He kissed your shoulder, “Come.” He said as he got up, finding his clothes. You did as instructed, trying to think of where he’d take you. He led you through the city until you reached where the mountains met the beach. You followed him inside a cave and found a cottage. No sun shone here, you could see rays of light peeking in from the cave mouth but that was it. The sun was never out of reach here. “Our house, unfortunately, is long gone… so…. Maybe this can be our new home? Close to the water for you, in the shadows for me. A pleasant compromise I think.” 

“How did you even find this?” You asked, walking around the outside of the cottage. Sea shells adorned it in random locations, almost as if it had been submerged once upon a time. 

“Cazador had very deep pockets that I’m now privy to. Nothing is out of our reach darling.” He winked at you slyly. 

You rolled your eyes, chuckling at him. He pulled you inside gently. It was quaint and simple, everything you could want or need. Not too extravagant which surprised you. Astarion always did have expensive tastes. But for you he settled with things you would both like. You wrapped your arms around his waist, leaning against the kitchen counter, “How did I get so lucky?” 

Astarion didn’t reply, he simply smiled before pulling you into a deep kiss. “Stay with me?” He whispered on your lips.

“In every lifetime…” you promised. 

“Always.” He kissed you as the word floated out of him, elated to have everything he’d ever wanted.

-------------------------

Naboo's Note:

Hello darlings! Here is part two as promised, I hope you all enjoy. I go back to work this week and am still recovering from surgery so it might be a little dry during the week but I am hoping to post one more fic today to keep everyone tied over. Thank you for all the likes, comments, reblogs, and requests! Ilysm xoxoxoxo!!!

[cbk1000]

Hey, so kind of a general writing/not been on tumblr much update (because apparently I'm so perpetually online people will ask me if I'm ok after a few days of me not posting as much lmao): I have been having some health issues. I haven’t really mentioned them aside from updating a couple people I talk to daily on why I've been so quiet because a.) I felt too poorly to do anything other than marathon sitcoms I've seen a bazillion times, and b.) I didn't know what was going on.

The tl; dr is that, after getting diagnosed with strep throat a few weeks ago, and feeling mostly normal aside from some minor irritation in my throat, I started feeling horribly weak and overall just fucking terrible, and I was having bad tachycardia. Like a heart rate in the high 130s just standing, and a sitting heart rate of like 110 (my normal resting heart rate is in the low 70s). Three trips to the ER later, a bunch of normal labs and cardiac tests, and my boss (ER nurse for 20 years) pushing for an echo, and I finally got a diagnosis of pericarditis, which is inflammation of the sac around your heart. It's most commonly caused by viruses. The ER doc suspects my strep throat was misdiagnosed and I had a virus that caused the inflammation of my heart, although I think bacterial infections can sometimes cause it as well. I've been put on high dose ibuprofen and some acid reflux meds to protect my stomach while I'm on such a high dose of ibuprofen, and I have to take it easy for at least the next week and then be careful and play it by ear. I have been too weak to even sit up much for the past several days and cannot stand for very long, which is infuriating as someone who does one-armed push-ups for funsies.

Anyway, all this is to say, I'm still alive, the next chapter of Book of Merthur (for any of you following it) was coming along just fine but for obvious reasons is a bit postponed now. I'll probably be off work all next week again and hopefully will feel strong enough to get in a bit of writing. (And for any readers about to say, 'Oh my God, don't worry about that, take care of yourself!!' I am literally gnashing my teeth to go back to writing and am furious that my last week or so has consisted of me being too exhausted even to read. I've been marathoning sitcoms I've seen a bazillion times, I'm not even much of a TV watcher, and I'm going crazy. Yesterday I lifted two books to get to the one I wanted underneath them, and was so exhausted I went straight back to bed. THEY WERE PAPERBACKS. AND NOT WAR AND PEACE PAPERBACKS.)

[frozenangelcosplay]

The Case for Jimmywing

You can skip to “Let’s start at the beginning” for the actual content of what I’m analyzing.

So about a year and a half ago, I happened upon a trade paperback of “Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen: who killed Jimmy Olsen” at a comic book store we regularly drive an hour just to go to. I found the coat tail riding title self deprecating and hilarious and it instantly became a favorite of mine. And it fucking ruined my life.

For a split second I mistook Jimmy Olsen for being part of Nightwing’s “Ginger Harem” as they call it. I thought “he had to be, right? Like statistically?” He’s part of the young adult demographic, or ‘gen 2’ as I call them, he and Dick are both huge parts of Clark’s life to the extent where they gotta at least be friends, and no one would be shocked if he was one of the redhead’s Dick’s “collected” as they say. So why the hell was there nothing on the internet falling for this obvious set up?

(For context the human geography of fandom behavior is of high interest to me)

This was quite a bit of an anomaly, so I set out for some research. I brushed over results from the silver age initially and saw there was just one panel coming up with both of them in present art style (a twenty years in the future thing). It was more of a Jimmy Olsen cameo than anything where all I learned is they’re not familiar these days. I still liked the idea though and if I left my digging there I probably would’ve let it go a while ago. But then I looked INTO the silver age stuff and OH BOY IS THERE A LOT TO UNPACK HERE.

Long story short, they were written as close friends for years and I feel like DC is trying to gaslight me personally into pretending it didn’t happen. There’s a lot of potential to pick up where they left off with everything that’s happened in their stories since but there’s little to no sign of taking advantage of that anytime soon.

Let’s start at the beginning…

In 1940 both Batman and Superman separately acquired child sidekicks. A pair of eyes in the story the same age of the target audience’s to see themselves in and relate to. Robin would make his debut in the comics as Batman’s sidekick, would be Bruce Wayne’s legal ward, and also dawn combat training, gadgets, and a costumed vigilante identity. Jimmy Olsen would be a cub reporter at the daily planet where Clark Kent worked (a position specified beyond it’s dictionary definition as a teen internship position in “Superman Smashes the Klan”, which is set in the radio show cannon) and help at Superman’s side as himself.

Later, particularly with the classic comic run “World’s Finest”, in a world much less saturated with superheroes, let alone sidekicks, than we have today, the sidekicks of the stars of these comics easily became close friends. Most notable adventure by today’s standard would be World’s finest # 195, probably due to it’s shock and meme value cover of Batman and Superman making their sidekicks dig their own graves.

A personal favorite of mine would be World’s Finest #141 where the sidekicks run away to an island and fake their deaths, making it the first of at least twice they do that together (another being near the end of #195). Here they establish a secret hideout in the mountains in an abandoned observatory to keep souvenirs from their respective mentor’s adventures, and some of their own. (Notably two dummies of themselves Batman and Superman had just used to get back at them for pulling this stunt).

In Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen, Jimmy has also filled in for Robin twice. First time was to get Jimmy into the Mystery analysts (#111), second was to settle a bet after Robin beat him in a “Young Man of the Year” pageant (#130). In #111 this is where Robin trained Jimmy in combat, and some gadget use so he’s got that under his belt now enough to do it all again at least.

Also quick fun fact before I move on, Jimmy knew Robin and Batman’s secret identities LONG before he knew Superman’s. In World’s Finest #144, due to the fact that Jimmy was radiating kryptonite, he and Robin switched mentors and Batman pretty much immediately told him that he was Bruce Wayne, and Dick Grayson was Robin (told with Robin’s approval). A bit of an anomaly, but it carried forth in continuity.

Anyway, if you try to look up any shared adventure’s in recent comics, you’ll unceremoniously get nothing. I mentioned earlier Jimmy’s cameo in “Nightwing the New Order”, and there’s also like two crossed paths in the current World’s Finest run (a flashback continuity) and it just seemed like their dynamic then was just that Robin was relatively annoyed with Jimmy for being the one to debunk Mr. Mxyzptlk and Batmite’s disguises. (Rude?!)

I can’t find ANYTHING that explains this drift. My estimate would be that their dynamic died out some time between Dick joining the Titans and becoming Nightwing. But still remains a glaring connection.

Nightwing and Flamebird

So the first time that the Nightwing mantle debuted it was Superman as Nightwing with Jimmy as Flamebird. They went as these heroes into the bottle city of Kandor on multiple occasions. At the time they modeled these personas off of two kinds of birds found in Kandor, taking inspiration from Batman and Robin. The people of Kandor were convinced that Superman was actively refusing to grow the city again, and deemed him an enemy, which justified the disguises.

You still see this referenced every now and then, usually in museums and stuff, in fact, remember that observatory hideout? Statues and/or costumes of Superman’s and Jimmy’s Nightwing and Flamebird are on prominent display. In fact, Robin and Jimmy landed on naming the place itself “The Eyrie”, because as Robin said:

“In a way, we’re both birds. You’ve been Flamebird, and I’m Robin. So let’s call it the Eyrie!”

They revisit it now and then, but it seems to have been forgotten at this point.

Now since then there have been multiple pairs of Nightwings and Flamebirds. Obviously we know Dick Grayson is THE Nightwing and has been for a long time. The most consistent Flamebird however would be Bette Kane, and here’s where this gets interesting.

So there’s a full Krytonian legend surrounding Nightwing and Flamebird, from what I can tell, different versions, from heroes to gods etc. The most complete version I can only find on the wiki, so if you know where it’s from please let me know!

Here’s the link: https://superman.fandom.com/wiki/Nightwing_and_Flamebird

Here’s the quote:

“The true Flamebird is a massive, flaming dragon-like creature from deep in Krypton's past. The bird's partner is Nightwing, who is also its mate and opposite.

Among the early Kryptonian Gods, Flamebird was charged by almighty Rao with constantly refreshing the world by burning down the new creations of her brother, Vohc-The-Builder. She did so, but there was no hostility between the two; Vohc was grateful that Flamebird constantly pushed him to reimagine his works.

However, to help his friend, Nightwing, Vohc made it possible for him to meet flamebird. As such those two fell in love. Vohc's next creation was a monument representing all of his love for Flamebird. While Flamebird truly admired and appreciated the work, she fulfilled her duty to Rao by burning it down. This time Vohc actually begged for this work to be saved, but Flamebird ignored him. This destroyed much of Vohc and changed him into Vohc-The-Breaker. (Comic Series: Action Comics)

In each cycle, the Nightwing and the Flamebird are reborn, and must find each other. Also in each cycle, they are betrayed by a friend and killed.”

It cites action comics but I can’t narrow it down. My guess is that it came up when Thara Ak-Var and Chris Kent held the mantles.

So Bette Kane initially took up the Flamebird mantle to get Dick’s attention (while he was still Robin). He rejected her and it didn’t really work out which in the grand scheme of all things considered, makes sense thematically in a “pushing fate” kind of way. She was Flamebird for a while after that, even seen fighting beside Dick Grayson’s Nightwing every now and then, but hasn’t been Flamebird since before rebirth so currently no one seems to hold the mantle at present (technically).

So where does that leave Flamebird now?

Well this year, two interesting things have come up. One, in the new cartoon “My Adventures with Superman”, Jimmy is Flamebird again in the form of a username for his conspiracy blog. As of now, he just seemed to come up with it cause it sounds cool, so unless they pull out a “what a coincidence” or back story of how he found the name, that’s probably the extent of Flamebird’s roll there.

The second is in Action Comics #1058 where Kara reveals that Nightwing and Flamebird is actually the fable of the House of El. Each Krytonian house had a fable and this one is spesific to Superman and his family.

Now from here on out this is all just my thinking. “Theory” would even be a strong word implying that I legitimately think this is what is going on. Call this “if I were in charge of this story this is how this would go”

So what now?

Dick as a fated Nightwing makes so much sense for him. Pretty much all of his best qualities as a person can be seen in Superman and in it’s been said time and time again that he got the title from him. There’s that connection. That has my thinking that Nightwing and Flamebird would have a strong connection to the House of El, i.e., Superman. We know Nightwing is Dick, we know Dick looks up to Superman like, frankly most of the time, a better dad than Bruce. Low bar, but still.

And with this connection in mind, and all the history stated earlier with not just Jimmy’s long history with not just Dick, but Superman as well, he seems like the obvious choice to me. They state over and over again how Jimmy proves his loyalty, he’ll charge into danger like it’s nothing (a trait I personally think he picked up from Lois) and he is always such a fun narrator when handed the mic. He’s earned it.

As far as the ship goes, aside from it potentially being a huge payoff for a sixty year old saga of legends of love, heroism, and fate, the dynamics of their modern personalities would be unparalleled.

Over all its fricken WEIRD that their dynamic was just randomly forgotten like that, especially with everything built around them that you’d think would have them at least cross paths. I don’t hold not having a romantic relationship between them against DC, nor do I ever expect them to ever take that route any times soon, but come on man why aren’t they at least friends anymore?

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Hi, Lost. I recently saw a discussion about Ackermans and how Levi never mentioned to Mikasa the possibility of them being distantly relative. And it suggests that Levi doesn't actually reveal that he's an Ackerman to the others, at least, not to a lot of people. I always assumed Levi and Mikasa at least discussed this off-scene but anyway, we all know Levi definitely talked to Erwin about it. Knowing Erwin's curiosity and personality, there is no way he wasn't obsessed with the idea of a clan of, basically, titan slayers. He loves a good mystery and they would be too important for Survey Corps and Paradis in general. It's weird that this Ackerman thing was never explored other than "yeah Levi and Mikasa are OP don't question it" because I don't know about you but I would be so interested in freaking super soldiers living amongst us and I believe so was Erwin. We were robbed of that conversation, it'd give us so much Eruri material I believe :(

Hi Anon, sorry it’s taken me so long to answer your ask. You're definitely not the only one to be frustrated with the lack of information and resolution about the Ackermans. People waited years for Levi and Mikasa to have “the Ackertalk”, but when it finally came in chapter 63 it left everyone pretty disappointed. It did happen though, and Levi does suggest to Mikasa that they may be related.

There was a glimmer of hope that more would be revealed when the Ackermans were referred to as a “subproduct of Titan science” in chapter 93.  That really set the cat amongst the pigeons, but again, we got no further explanation about what that actually meant, either in the manga or in any of the supplementary materials. The only subsequent information we got about the Ackermans were Eren’s lies to Mikasa in chapter 112, where he claimed that Ackermans were slaves to their host, and Zeke revealing in chapter 130 that there’s nothing magical about the so-called Ackerbond, it’s just love. 

A lot of the additional information we have about the Ackermans comes from interviews with Isayama in the supplementary guidebooks, and it’s confusing at best and contradictory at worst.  For example, in chapter 65 Grandpa Ackerman tells Kenny that the king’s power to alter memories does not work on the Ackermans, and that this is one of the reasons they were feared and persecuted by the crown. However, later in the manga Eren was clearly able to alter Mikasa's memories, so that doesn’t add up. It's almost like Isayama was just making it up as he went along!

The lack of resolution around the Ackermans is just one of a number of threads that Isayama never tied up, which includes HIstoria’s arc and Mikasa’s relationship to the Azumabito clan.  It’s frustrating, because the Ackerman lore had so much potential, but none of it was ever developed, and at the end of the day they were a bit of a McGuffin. (Levi McGuffin doesn’t quite have the same ring to it though 😂)  Having said that, I can understand why Isayama shelved the Ackerman backstory, because it wasn’t really central to the plot. Also Levi, Mikasa and Kenny didn’t need any additional lore to make them really compelling and popular characters.  

If you're interested, I've got a post collating all the canon information about the Ackermans from the manga and the guidebooks: Ackermans Master Post.

With regards to how much Erwin knew about the Ackermans, there’s nothing in the manga, but I agree that once he discovered the connection between Levi and Kenny he would definitely have made it his business to find out more.  I wrote a tiny ficlet once about Erwin learning Levi’s name, it’s called Everything and Nothing

The words have been rattling around inside Erwin’s skull for days. Clattering against each other, discordant, disconcerting.

When they finally pass his lips one is familiar on his tongue, familiar as his own breath, the other foreign, sharp and bitter in his mouth.

“Levi.”

Levi’s head turns towards him on the pillow.

“What?”

“Ackerman.”

“Don’t.”

He turns away again.

“I always wondered…”

“I didn’t know.”

Erwin runs one finger lightly over Levi’s shoulder.

“I know, but it makes sense somehow.”

“Don’t.”

Levi is silent for a moment.

“It doesn’t change who I am. It doesn’t change anything.”

Erwin looks down at the black hair feathering over the pillow beside him. The pulse flickering in his neck; blue blood below porcelain white skin.

Ackerman.

Erwin leans down and presses his lips to Levi’s throat, to the pulse.

“Levi,” he says again.

It changes everything. And nothing.

[singofsolace]

Thoughts on "Alberta's Fan"

So I like to put shows on while I eat dinner by myself to make me feel less alone and it wasn't until I had watched this episode for the second time that I was able to focus on all of the new information we get about Hetty?

like, the first time around, I was focusing on the A-plot (A for Alberta, how fitting!) and so it wasn't until I watched it again tonight that some of Hetty's lines really sunk in.

For example, when Thor, Alberta, Sam, and Hetty are going for their morning walk, Sam makes a comment about how Hetty walks slower than the rest of them, which results in this exchange:

Hetty: "Well, excuse me for dying in heels! Plus, I did not sleep. You know I suffer from nerves. At least when I was alive I could take laudanum."

Sam: "What's laudanum?"

Hetty: "It's a simple mixture of alcohol and morphine. You should try it, Samantha."

Sam: "Oh sure, I'll pick some up next time I'm at the alchemist."

Hetty: "Well, I didn't always require such elixirs. When I was a little girl, an angel-voiced servant would sing me to sleep. Some footman or butler."

....

We get so much from this one exchange!

1) Hetty most likely died unexpectedly, since she was still wearing uncomfortable heels and a corset when it happened. I've been racking my brain trying to think of what could have killed her that didn't leave a visible wound but still caught her by surprise enough that she didn't so much as take off her shoes? I have to assume it was some kind of unexpected medical event, and not a long, drawn out illness, or else she would've been in far more comfortable sick-clothes; was it a stroke or an aneurysm, perhaps? I think I've seen others speculate that it could've been a drug overdose, which tracks, but wouldn't she have died high, like Flower, if that were the case? Wouldn't she be a little less lucid, and wouldn't Thor, Sas, or Isaac have mentioned it when other drug-related deaths came up? And would the writers really want drugs and alcohol to be involved in four out of the eight main ghost deaths? It's a mystery, to be sure!

2) Hetty has trouble sleeping, and apparently all the ghosts are already aware that she has anxiety which contributes to her insomnia, because she says "you know I suffer from nerves" as if to imply there's no need to offer an explanation as to why she didn't sleep.

3) When she was alive, Hetty regularly self-medicated with a combination of alcohol and morphine to help her sleep. We already knew about her cocaine use prior to this exchange, but I think this is the first mention of her using them specifically to "treat" her anxiety and insomnia.

Then, in a later scene, when Thor and Hetty are having their heart to heart, Thor tells her that he thought she would remember him after she died, but instead she had "terror of Thor." So not only did she not remember him or his voice, she was scared of him when she first died. And, in fact, she still flinches when he yells, despite having 130 years to get used to it.

Side note--when Elias comes out of the vault, he says that he's spent 130 years talking to his corpse. Hetty also says at one point that she's been friends with Isaac for 130 years. Does that mean Elias and Hetty died around the same time? We know Elias died first, but does that mean Hetty only outlived her husband by less than a year...? And since she says her children weren't fully grown yet when she died, does that mean her kids were taken in by someone else? Her sister, maybe...? So much to think about!

Hetty also says to Thor, "You were there for me when no one else was. Thank you." Does that mean that Hetty's parents were absent and/or neglectful? Was she treated poorly as a child? Did she not have much of a relationship with her sister, even before their looks were being compared to decide who would be forced to marry Elias...? Why was "Gordon" the only person Hetty remembers who supported her? That's just heartbreaking, especially when you think about how she went from a lonely, neglected child to an even lonelier, neglected wife.

Anyway, I have so many thoughts on this episode, I just wanted to get them out! Let me know if you all have any thoughts, too.

[favouritecyclistpoll]

Round Two, Match Seven: Jonas Vingegaard v. Marc Soler

Jonas Vingegaard Propaganda

No propaganda submitted.

Marc Soler Propaganda

He may be ranked #130 in the UCI rankings but he is #1 in my heart ❤️

More propaganda under the cut.

As you may know, Marc Soler moved to UAE Team Emirates in 2022 and has since been one of Tadej Pogačar's most valuable mountain domestiques – pulling the peloton for kilometres on end, being there in the final group before Tadej and Jonas start attacking each other. Then there's stage 17 this year; his infamous ‘scary eyes’ and comforting hand, pulling his leader up the Col de la Loze and helping maintain his podium place.

However! There is much more to Marc Soler than that! Before 2022, his entire professional career was spent with Movistar – that blue-clad stalwart of Spanish cycling hopes. With them, he was again an invaluable domestique to the likes of Enric Mas, Alejandro Valverde, Nairo Quintana, and Richard Carapaz. In the intra-team ~drama~ that plagued Movistar’s 2019/2020 seasons, he remained if not neutral, but relatively uninvolved. This is well-documented in their documentary ‘Movistar: The Least Expected Day’, the series that first endeared him to me.

In 2018, he had his day as a GC challenger – a week, really, swooping to victory at Paris-Nice to take the overall win with a fantastic attack on the final stage to make up more than a minute on Simon Yates

Now let me discuss stage 5 of the Vuelta 2022: Marc’s second stage win at this race – the first being in 2020. There was a battle for the breakaway, and Marc missed out! Never fear – the intrepid Spaniard did what he does best; launch a seemingly futile attempt to bridge, riding solo or in a small group for 50km+ that never really gets anywhere. Not today, though! He joined them, when Stewart attacked he countered brilliantly and rode solo for the final 15km. Brilliant stuff. This won him the stage, the combativity award, and later actions brought him the overall super-combative award, all while supporting Juan Ayuso to the podium.

Oh yeah, did I mention the mullet?? And the earring??

Outside of racing, he comes across as a genuinely nice guy – though I have yet to come across an interview in English, translations of Spanish-language seem cheerful and respectful, having fun in UAE’s social media videos!

He recovered brilliantly from having to abandon in both the Giro and the Tour in 2021 – breaking both of his arms in a crash in the latter, yet soldiering on and completing the stage.

Soler in his natural habitats; pulling the peloton up some steep, steep slopes, or breaking away for a hail-Mary attack that’s seemingly done only for the sheer joy of doing so. He’s a valuable domestique, brilliant rider, and most certainly embodies the spirit of ciclismo!

Thus concludes my Soler propaganda.

Vamos, Marc!

[fountainpenguin]

Fanfic Schedule News - 2024

You can find this post later in my Pinned Post links

Overview

- Fairly OddParents - On hiatus while buffer building. Weekly Friday updates when ready, probably in summer. Origin and Knots are planned to alternate to show both sides of the war, but can be read independently. - WordGirl - On hiatus while buffer building. Weekly updates when ready, but lower priority than FOP. I'd like to post a few one-shots in spring and summer. - MCYT - Weekly Tuesday updates (Dog's Life until Chapter 30, then other 'fics while Dog's Life is on break). I'm also posting on Friday, but am moving towards posting on Sunday. - Total Drama - I'm not writing new content for the TD fandom, but I have 40+ 'fics I posted on FFN, but not AO3. Now that many are 10 years old, I'd like to archive some on AO3. - Every year I say I want to post my Mario drafts, but... I don't think 2024 will be that year. We will see.

Fandom-Specific Series

I post 'fics under my AO3 account, FountainPenguin.

If you'd like to get notifications for new works but don't want to follow me as a user, consider subscribing to some fandom-specific series:

Fairly OddParents

130 Station - All pieces in the 130 Reasons Why I'm Fairy Trash series.

These are further broken down into "Trains" (Ex: Main cast, Anti-Fairies, Pixies, shippy stuff, etc.) - Find info HERE

Notable pieces that are not 130 Prompts include Origin of the Pixies, Frayed Knots, Come What May, and Reedfilter Rules, which may be best subscribed to individually- They do not have a series at this time.

WordGirl

Heroes' Journey - Stuff about WordGirl and Huggy learning to share Fair City with Kid Math

28 Million Degrees - Character studies

MCYT - Not RPF, but the 4th Wall is very thin

Pixels Imperfect - Pixel people (who are all mob hybrids) live in a server hub and roleplay with their friends. Lots of interpersonal and social drama mixed with humor.

Neighborhood Watch AU - A serious take on the Life series lore and mechanics, ft. a semi-medieval world where the first 5 Life seasons take place in a single timeline.

Roundabout - Misc. MCYT content

These pages also have links to character relationship series.

Total Drama

Riddle's Drama - Total Drama 'fics I wrote 2013-2016.

These are also on my FFN, where I cross-post my FOP and WordGirl content as well.

-------

Fairly OddParents

I'm working on a buffer for Origin of the Pixies and Frayed Knots chapters so they can alternate during the war. At the moment I'm posting content for other fandoms, but once the buffer is ready, these will roll out weekly. Hopefully by summer.

- Origin is caught up and ready for the war meeting next chapter, so we're just wrapping up Anti-Cosmo's school and relationship drama in Knots :) - We're in the era of 2016 draft chapters, so it's a combo of "Lots of stuff is already written" and "Lots of stuff needs to be updated."

Origin and Knots will update on Fridays when the time is right (alternating weeks).

The 130 Prompts wrapped up Arc 2 in December and is on hiatus.

If you missed the Arc 2 finale, check out "Grudge"- It's about Happy Peppy Gary and Crocker striking a dangerous deal and I think it's cute :)

Ideally, I'd like to finish the whole Come What May draft before I post more chapters (so we don't have more of these long lurches between chapters), and Reedfilter Rules is in a similar boat.

Origin and Knots are my priority, but once Come What May starts, I'd like to do weekly or bi-weekly updates until it's done.

WordGirl

Factor It In - I'm very happy with how the story has come out so far. It's fully outlined, but this is a "serious and fluffy" story and I've been on a "silly and angsty" streak lately, so the mood isn't there.

- I'd like to circle back to it soon, but don't want to post more chapters until I have a nice buffer. - I'd like to post again in autumn 2024 and keep up weekly updates for several months. Origin and Knots are higher priority, but I really like this story and look forward to more.

I have some WordGirl one-shot drafts I've been sitting on for months. I haven't been satisfied with them enough to post, but you might see them soon as I finalize them. There's no schedule for these, but they include:

- Local alien girl is SO brave about Rex's problems while they lie in the grass discussing love and culture - Local alien boy loses his fawn spots, comes of age, and hits up Hal Hardbargain for alien-strength deodorant - Character study for Victor Best (My horrible son) - Character study for pre-series Rex living on Hexagon (My somehow more horrible son) - Other drafts from 2018 that need polish

I so desperately want to show the world my "Hopelessly romantic life planner since he was born" x "She can't commit to anything including this" marriage of convenience superhero drama... He's oblivious... She's dying inside... He is so embarrassing... Do u understand my vision?

MCYT

- Dog's Life Session 2 will end with Chapter 30. I've finished up to Chapter 28 and just need to tweak the remaining chapters. It will then be on hiatus for a few months while I work on the Session 3 buffer and other projects.

Edit - Session 2 will actually be 37 chapters, so another month

Expecting 4 to 5 months of hiatus from regular updates with some intermission chapters a few weeks apart (Full moon arc, my beloved). I have 'fics I look forward to posting (including new multi-chapters that already have nice buffers and will post weekly), so there will be plenty of MCYT content, but it seemed wise to leave Dog's Life on break to avoid burnout. I hope you enjoy these new stories! When Dog's Life returns, it'll be with weekly updates for several months as per usual :)

My "first half of 2024" goal is to close out as many of my existing MCYT multi-chapters as I can. Thank you for your patience with multi-chapters that have slow updates- I plan to finish them soon :)

I recently completed For Sale: Bird Wings (Never Worn) with weekly updates and am on track to finish One and a Half Birds with weekly Friday updates.

After this, I would like to finish the last 2 to 3 chapters of Criminal Experience (which has always had Friday updates as well). I don't want to post the next chapter until I nail down the story's end, so there's been a delay, but I'm glad I've wrapped up other multi-chapters and I look forward to finishing this soon.

After this, I plan to post MCYT content Tuesdays and Sundays, leaving Fridays for my other fandoms.

What's on Tuesdays?

At the moment, Dog's Life for 7 more weeks. Session 2 ends with Chapter 30 on April 9th.

Edit: Chapter 37 on May 28th

I've started new multi-chapters while chasing inspiration bursts, but I held back from posting them, so now I have buffers for those. I look forward to sharing them throughout 2024. Two notable ones are:

- Chalaza - Quick story about Martyn arriving in New Star Station. Bdubs voice study, some practice writing short scenes, and this is the story that helped me nail down pixel person anatomy. ^ Highlights include Bdubs trotting around with Martyn's dissolved soul in a fishbowl and regaling Etho with tales of how the Phantom Dragon carries phantom hybrids in her mouth. Also, Martyn hides under Etho's couch for 4 days. - Herobrine's Guide to the Between Dimension - A meta story about my Between lore, hybrid anatomy, and hybrid culture. No plot, but I think it's fun.

These are expected to post Tuesdays while Dog's Life is on break :)

What's on Sundays?

At the moment, nothing- I'm posting on Fridays (weekly updates to One and a Half Birds for the next several weeks).

I've also got a draft called "Scar's Castle" that's about Grian doing chores during 3rd Life... we'll see if that turns out nice.

Now that Secret Life is over, I've been able to do more worldbuilding and story planning for Neighborhood Watch AU. I plan to post some one-shots soon. Highlights include:

"Goodchild Oscar" - Oscar Goodchild's lovely parents put out a hit on his soulmate. He drags Grian around the Hearts Club Ball in his attempts to thwart it. Title's subject to change, but this is a fun one :) "They Never Found the Desert" - Local Green Life parrot can't get Red Life soulmate motivated for anything. Desperate times call for desperate measures. "Ethograms, Etho Slab, and Something About Ethics (Probably)" - Joel studies wolves... and the single(?) dad who keeps coming around with his kids.

I've also been working on the big multi-chapter for this universe, which centers around the Clocker family: Arsenic Waltz. It's fully outlined and I'm 5 chapters into the buffer, but it doesn't feel "fun" to read yet, so... Hmm.

- If anyone wants to beta read the first 10k words where Martyn arrives at the Clocker residence and meets his soulmate Cleo for the first time, lmk? Been struggling with the pacing of action vs. world lore for months and it'd be nice to get outside thoughts. - My plan was to start posting in April after Dog's Life ends, but it might need more time. With weekly updates, it should finish in December or January, but I'd like a nice buffer first. Possibly, this story will start in the summer and end in early 2025.

EDIT - I ended up killing all these darlings and moving them to a separate story, which will be released at a later time. The pacing was just not working :)

Additional multi-chapters to wrap up:

Closed Door Policy - Can't finish until Criminal Experience is done. Will post Tuesdays or Sundays as appropriate (Expecting 2 or 3 more chapters).

Dear Future Captain - Waiting for Dog's Life to catch up to this part of the timeline (Between Sessions 4 and 5?) - I like my draft for Chapter 3, but I'd rather wrap up other stories first.

With Acid In Your Eyes - Outlined and expecting 10 chapters. This is a high-tension story I was excited for, but it's on the backburner while finalizing lore, social dynamics, and plot points. It was ambitious to post this one before things were solid, but I look forward to returning when I'm ready :)

If you're interested in being a beta reader for any of my work, you can get in touch. I've not worked with beta readers in fanfic before, but if you're interested, we can talk about it!

Thanks for reading! Happy 2024!

[ednav]

I don’t like to talk about politics here. But I see so many posts about the war in Israel/Palestine right now, and I cannot help saying my bit. It’s going to be long (read up until the end, or just skip) and messy and very personal. It’s not meant to be an essay that analyses all aspects of the situation. It comes after one of the worst months of my life—please, be kind. I’ve been on this earth for almost half a century, and it’s been one of the worst months of my life.

[If you prefer not to read at all, just skip. No harm done.]

I have both Muslim and Jewish friends in the Europe and in the US. Some of them wear a hijab, some of them wear a kippah. Every morning I check that they didn’t get beaten up because dividing the world into “good guys” / “bad guys” and releasing your frustration on someone who looks like “the bad guys” is an easy way to feel in control when you’re scared.

And now, the unpopular bit: I have Jewish Israeli friends. Every morning I check they came out alive from the bomb shelter. Hamas is still firing rockets—a lot of rockets—on both Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. I wait for them tell me if another disfigured body has been identified as a friend whom they thought that had “just” been kidnapped.

One of these friends goes to the peace protests in Tel Aviv, so I have to check that he didn’t get beaten up by the police either.

(Dear US people: identifying Israel with Netanyahu is like assuming all of you are MAGA Republicans. Worse, actually, because Israel is not a two-party system—more like a twenty-party system—and it’s a mess. Decolonise your mind from assuming that every country works like the US.)

Some of my friends are Mizrahi. Their great-grandparents had to find refuge in the relative safety of Israel after being expelled by another country in that region—a place where they cannot go back to. Not-very-fun fact: they’re also dark-skinned enough to get “randomly checked” every time they get on a plane, unless there’s a woman wearing a hijab or a chador on the same flight. It’s not as simple as European or US colonialism.

(Once again: stop making it all about you. The world is more complex than your country. Especially if your country is less than 250 years old and hasn’t had a battle on its soil in more than 130 years.)

I don’t know anyone in Palestine, so I can’t say what it’s like to have friends on that side of the border. I imagine it’s even worse, given that most people there don’t have shelters, nor actual freedom to protest against their government, at least in the Gaza strip.

Anyway: I don’t wish what I’ve been through in the last month on my worse enemy. And I’m just a friend of some people who are not in the worst possible situation. I know that I cannot even begin to know what it must be like for Jewish, Muslim, Israeli and Palestinian people.

And now, let me tell you about a history book that might have saved the world. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.

It’s a bit outdated, but it’s still quite good, and the writing is simply brilliant. It’s called The Guns of August, and it’s about the first month of WWI. Just the first month, and how we got there. How stubbornness, pride, rhetoric, and even “rationality”, led to a massacre that did nothing but cause another massacre less than a generation later. It was written by a woman, Barbara Tuchman, in 1962. Later that year, during the Cuban Missile Crisis, President John F Kennedy gave it to read to all the generals in the US Army. The message was simple: escalation leads to disaster. Sometimes you have to compromise, accept losses and even a certain degree of “unfair”, rather than getting into a full-blown war.

Now, I’m not a pacifist. I know that some wars are the lesser evil. I have relatives who fought in the Resistance. They were proud of having risked their lives. They were proud of living in a country with free elections—even if fascists-in-all-but-name could get elected—and at peace. But they were not proud of having killed people whose children grew up as orphans.

I see a lot of people, especially younger people, who want Pure Justice. Bad people must be eliminated, good people must triumph, no excuses.

The thing is—there are no completely good people, nor completely bad people. There are people. Often scared and more traumatised than you can possibly imagine.

There are people who must pay for their crimes. There are people who will, and some who won’t. Just ask anyone who survived a war, or a time of almost-civil-war like the Troubles in the UK/Ireland or the terrorism of the 1970s In Europe—that’s something we’ve all seen. (I say “we” because I’m old enough to remember the 1980s. They sucked, trust me.)

The problem is: the more you lose sight of the common humanity of everyone involved, the more you escalate the tension, the more there will be people who are going to pay for crimes they haven’t committed. And the more I see of this world, the more I believe that if there’s one side it’s just fighting for, it’s theirs.

As I said—it’s messy. And human beings are precious, but fragile. Please, be kind.