#co Rott

[envihellbender]

Envi and Rott meeting in TMA verse

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Characters: Rott (he/it), Envi (he/they) (OCs)

—

Envi saw Rott first. Technically he’d agreed not to steal from the earth, the items people kept with them for the afterlife were owned by Hezekiah and the Buried now. When anything was taken from the earth Hezekiah would go to massive lengths to make sure he got it back. If it had been shattered into a thousand pieces, he would find every piece. That didn’t mean Envi didn’t enjoying hanging around the graveyard, on occasion irritating Hezekiah was an entertaining bonus alongside the trinkets he might find. It was when they were exploring the tombs that the first saw Rott, a young man whose skin glowed a sickly grey colour in the moonlight. Envi climbed atop the mausoleum of a forgotten wealthy family, his pockets containing two lockets, a medal, some coins, and some animal bones. He perched on the top, sitting like a gargoyle and watched the stranger with curiosity. The young man’s limbs were looser than they should be, some fastened on with thread, his inky black hair a tangled mass atop his head. Occasionally he looked up at the sky, and two silver eyes stared at the moon and stars. Envi look at his face, and to his surprise he felt a yearning inside to wrap around Rott’s body and lick the blood, puss, and bile from his cold hard chin and cheeks.

It became a habit after that, once a week Envi would climb to the highest spot in the cemetery and watch Rott. Delighting in how it would feed on its victims and the residents of the tombs. Sometimes Envi would get to see Rott sewing its limbs back to its body, he always wore lose black trousers with straps around the legs and silver chains hanging down to his knees. The gave a clinking noise with every step, and his t-shirts always had horrific, grotesque imagery on them. Envi watched in fascination, so fixated he didn’t realise that the burning fractals of his hair was causing sparks and lights around the mausoleum. Green and orange fractals spread from where he sat, coming to an anxious crackle and shock when Rott looked up. At first it was bewildered, but when he saw Envi his body grew tense with anger. In panic, Envi jumped from the mausoleum, when he landed his legs bent backwards as if his joints were made of rubber. The momentum threw him forward causing them to fall into the pavement. He quickly tried to find his bearings, he had lost his way during his wandering tonight. He’d found himself in a new and foreign part of Hezekiah’s graveyard. Envi kept trying to run away but kept bumping into gravestones and finding himself being turned around again and again. He let out a reluctant, terrified gasp as he felt a cold, hard hand on his shoulder. It spun Envi around, causing their already pale face to grow almost white. He didn’t normally encounter people so directly, they usually struggle to find him.

“Who are you?” Rott said simply and curtly, his eyes narrowed and his sickly pink lips contorted into a snarl.

“Erm. I. Erm. I Am Apart of The Spiral. I. Just. Wanted to… Say Hi,” Envi stammered, his eyes widened and grew, every shade of green tangling in his irises as he looked everywhere but at Rott. Envi found himself looking at Rott’s feet, he was wearing two dark worn trainers, the soles coming away and shoelaces trailed on the floor.

“Did the Distortion send you here?” Rott asked, his frown evident in its voice, clearly confused by Envi’s sudden appearance. When Envi looked up Rott was watching him, staring at his strange, angled and broken limbs that had healed and could now be bent in odd ways.

“No. Papa doesn’t like it when we get too close to the earth.”

“I’ve seen you here before. Why are you disobeying your God?”

“I’m not… disobeying- it’s not a rule or a law. Just a suggestion.” Envi shrugged. He stretched, his loose green t-shirt lifting to show off his soft, freckled gut, Rott’s eyes drifted to Envi’s stomach, it’s eyes rolling down as if they weren’t secure in it’s skull.

“You- you consider your God’s instructions to be… suggestions? Rott asked disconcertingly. It nervously began twirling its hair in its fingers, the black waves grounding it somehow.

“There’s no certainty in the Spiral. No strict rules, is that so weird?”

“I- we serve the earth. The earth is constant, loving, and everything.”

“Yeah. Human minds in comparison are tangled, messy, and constantly changing. Hey, you’re not just the buried though, are you, Rott?” Envi’s face grew into a knowing smirk, and instead of angry at the accusation, Rott couldn’t help but be a little curious.

[emilybeemartin]

Me, watching the Eagle: COS-TIS COS-TIS COS-TIS COS-TIS

100% who I referenced for RotT pieces. Also damn Mark Strong was in every aughts historical epic, wasn't he?

Film exec: Is this script set before 1850?

Casting: Yes sir

Film exec: Swords?

Casting: Yup

Film exec: So we need Mark Strong

Casting: Correct

Intern: Why do we need Mark Strong?

Film exec:

Casting:

Film exec:

Casting:

Intern, scribbling hurriedly: need... Mark... Strong...

[rosemaidenvixen]

Tales of Arcadia fic recs-Rise of the Titans fix it edition

This project's been a long time coming and I'm super happy to finish at last. Here we have a compilation of written responses to the complete dumpster fire that was supposed to be the franchise finale for Tales of Arcadia. Now this is not a comprehensive list by any means, just a collection of my personal favorites and what I consider the best fix-it takes of Rise of the Titans, broken down into several categories.

Bits and Pieces-Not full fix its, but some short little one shots and alternate takes that make the worst parts of of RotT easier to swallow.

Let’s Try That Again-Jim uses the Krohnisfere only to go back to earlier parts of RotT, not the entire franchise.

Instinct of Self-Preservation-Undoes Strickler's pointless death and Jim doesn't go back in time.

Remembering and Honoring a Hero-In a world where the Krohnisfere doesn't exist, the city of Arcadia gathers to remember the fallen hero, Toby Domalski.

Hope Overture-Canon compliant Stricklake, in the new timeline Barbara and Strickler are hit with memories they shouldn't rightly have.

Technically canon compliant-These fics don’t contradict any of the events of RotT, rather pick up where RotT left off with the new timeline of Toby being the Trollhunter. In general I'm not a fan of this particular type of fic. RotT was such a mess all around I don't like the idea of building on it, but the stories below are exceptions for a reason. Not only do these fics work as continuations, each of them is enjoyable on their own merits.

Challenging Destiny @pinkytoothlesso11-Picks up where canon left off, but with the twist of Jim and Toby sharing the amulet as co Trollhunters. From there it grows to include wizards, changelings, and Akiridions working together to bring back magic and create a better future for all. Not only is this story fantastic as it navigates the benefits and pitfalls of knowledge of the future, but the buildup to an eventual post-Masquerade world is set up so well. And this might be a continuation of canon but don't let that fool you, this story never misses an opportunity to throw well deserved shade at the source material.

Trollhunters: Becoming yeeterparker-A fun, fast paced romp that has the characters using their knowledge of the future to speedrun though obstacles while flipping the baddies off on the way. And not only are they able to turn some foes into friends, but troll Jim is back and he's here to stay. All the character interactions are so warm and caring, showing their strong bonds with each other in a way RotT wishes it did.

Atlas through the aftermath @atlasthroughtheaftermath-Jim went back in time, but from the very first morning in the past everything starts going wrong. The amulet was never supposed to choose Toby. Now Jim is forced to walk the line between truth and lies in order to use his knowledge of the future to ensure a better outcome. But as things drift further and further from the timeline he knows he finds himself adrift in uncharted waters. If you like fics that go into all the nitty gritty details with heartbreakingly realistic fight scenes and depictions of armor/sword fighting, this is the fic for you.

RotT fix its-Just like it says on the tin folks, fics that are complete rewrites of Rise of the Titans. But with better characterization, plot points that aren't hamfisted, no time travel retcon; and most importantly, no Steve mpreg.

Rise of the Titans-Secundo Ire @nickelwick-Part two in a series already containing a fabulous Wizards rewrite. Follows the same events of Rise of the Titans, only with the characters actually acting in character. But with the twist of someone else wielding Excalibur, and Jim going through a magical problem of his own. Not only do these changes make for a very interesting read but every character, even the minor ones, is well fleshed out and true to their established characters. All coming together to create an incredible franchise finale.

Fall of the Titans @purplerose244 This one's more a character study than anything else, but holy hell what a character study! This story goes through and analyzes each character's perspective and journey as they struggle against the titans, with plenty of Akiridion worldbuilding and a very interesting twist on the Arcane order's lore, and who gets Excalibur. Salty about how Jim-centric RotT was and the lack of compelling character arcs? Give this a read.

Tales of Arcadia: The Final Becoming @nikibogwater-Rather than focusing on Jim, the main arcs center on Douxie and Nari's relationship, but without sidelining any of the other characters. A rewrite that's short and sweet that never fails to deliver an epic finale with a satisfying conclusion.

The Eternal Day:Tales of Arcadia @rikalovesrice-An epic rewrite that really delivers on the promise to unite the worlds of trolls, aliens, and wizards. Along with some fascinating original lore and some killer redesigns of the Titans themselves (art on author's tumblr). Takes the bare bones of RotT and builds an incredible story on them. Brilliantly weaving the worlds of trolls, Akiridions, and wizards together all leading up to a final battle of epic magical proportions and a brave new world on the other side.

Entire series rewrites-Kind of a cheat category, which is why it's the largest, in that technically none of these fics are RotT rewrites. They're au takes on canon, and many of them were well in progress before RotT was released. Some haven't been updated in a while and some are on full blown hiatus, but they're all worth a read and all have been confirmed by the authors that they will be concluding differently than RotT does.

Becoming the Mask @magic-and-moonlit-wings-Possibly one of the most well known fics in the TOA fandom, and for darn good reason. Starts at the very beginning of Trollhunters with the premise, what if Jim was a changeling all along? Not a half-changeling or a sleeper agent, but a full blown self aware member of the Janus Order. An excellent highly detailed read, juggles a large cast of complex characters, and subtly addresses plot holes as they come along with care and attention.

What the Night Brings @blund3r-bust3r-When Jim has a chance encounter with a creature of the night he barely escapes with his life. Now less than human himself, he's introduced to a vast world below his feet full of danger and wonder, and sets churning gears that have been spinning for centuries. A wonderfully dark, fantastical au that stays true to a lot of existing TOA lore while still being very much its own story.

Sunshine through the Clouds aka shameless self promotion @rockymaidenvixen-Through events neither fated nor accidental, at five years old Jim Lake starts transforming into a troll with each sunset, and back into a human at sunrise. An ability both a gift and a curse that he carries with him through his childhood into adolescence. Changing nothing and everything once he's chosen as the Trollhunter (more about this au under the tag "sunshine au" on my blog).

Tulips of Time @avirxy-Starts with the events of Wizards, but with two major twists. Toby falls through the time rift with the rest of the gang, and Claire's the one with a shard of evil in her heart. Really this story does the trio's characters justice in a way Wizards wishes it did. The trio struggles to make their way in Camelot and find their way back to the future, but medieval Camelot is a harsh time for trolls and humans alike, with the line between good and evil getting blurrier by the day. And their greatest threat may just come from within.

A Brief Reliving of Troll Lore @i-am-gun-robot-This one's just getting started, and hasn't been updated in a long time, but is definitely worth a read. Did you enjoy Wizards but hate what it did for the overall TOA continuity? Then this is the fic for you. A very different take on Camelot of the past, with worldbuilding that can be dark, but is so very rich and nuanced.

Blue Moon Rising @tunafishprincess-On indefinate hiatus, but definitely worth a read. A half changeling Jim au with a dark twist. What if Jim was stolen from Barbara and found by the Janus order, and raised by the top changeling himself under the new name Atlas. Atlas though his fate was certain, but then on his first real mission a certain amulet calls a hauntingly familiar name.

Self Determination @appendingfic-A completed series rewrite that diverges from canon very early on. It starts with the premise, what if the Trollhunter was always human? Spinning out and crossing over with multiple other properties colliding on an epic scale. To say any more would spoil some of the truly earth shattering twists and turns this story has going for it. For those put off by all the crossovers this is a Tales of Arcadia story more than anything else, and you can still follow along and get fully immersed without knowing anything about the other properties tied into it.

You can check out my original TOA fanfic rec list here, and @feather-dancer has made several much more comprehensive fic rec lists all compiled here.

[froggybrainz]

Lore update

This one is gonna be a long one, but I really like world building, especially when I get to work from the ground up and come up with my own universe. So, after some intense thinking, I think I got it.... For the most part, it is the same. I just wanted to work on it a bit and do more storytelling.

So Terra (new earth) was made as an escape plan and last ditch effort for Entity (The Red Devil) in hopes of regaining power through becoming a god of the new world they created. Although this stunt had drained Entity significantly, they were able to finally able to leave their old form and take refugee on Terra in the form of an asteroid. Killing the dinos and starting new life blah blah blah, I'm going into detail about history....

(For more context, Entity is my version of Satan, and when they were casted into hell, they made an escape plan so as not to rott away in their eternity)

Millions of years go by as early humans enter the Stone Age. The meteorite starts to oze out a strange back substance that then contaminates a nearby lake, and the first known anomalies are birthed from the dark surface below. This area later on becomes known as the Garden, home of the Cult of the Chosen. Anomalies during this time are harmless but curious, oftentimes scaring early humans and creating uncanny valley as they try and mimic their hairy friends.

Around 900 AD, a giant red anomaly emerged from within the meteorite before disappearing. Artwork from this time shows the giant being surrounded by shadow like figures. Famished, Entity later went on a killing spre eating both human and leaser anomalies in their path.

The name Red Devil was given to Entity by the people of the Dark ages as they feared them for the destruction that was often left behind in their wake.

(For the most part, Entity doesn't hate humans. They are a agent of chaos and will do as they please. Humans and leaser anomalies just so happen to be fun to break)

In 1348, while admiring plague ridden Egypt, Entity came across a mother holding a baby. Despite both being long dead, her corpse still held and shaded the infant from the scorching sun. Could it have been that Entity felt an ounce of compassion for this mother and her infant? Taking the dead infant into their arms, Entity bit their thumb and dripped blood into the baby's mouth, and not long the baby began to cough and cry. The baby didn't have a name for a while until he grew a pair of wings that then Entity started calling him Icarus, their lil bird.

The Cult was later on made and grew as word got out about an infant given life again by the red demon. Most were hesitant about following this strange new religion while others sought refugee within the Garden walls in hopes of false promises of power and immortality. Often, some villages were left as a ghost town after the migration to the Garden, destroying families and trade amongst other villages.

In 1356, however, anomalies began having a taste for blood and started attacking many people who weren't submitting to the Cult. This caused war to break loose against humans and the Cult, leading to most of humanity almost being wiped out. Entity not wanting to put an end to humanity just yet. They command the monsters to hide underground, creating the Underworld.

( I like how the underworld in creepypasta was a city filled with monsters and humans alike just co-existing together, but I feel like they would be killing each other there, too. Plus, I feel like the anomalies would be discriminatory against humans as seeing that they're weak).

Centuries go by, and the past gets swept under the rug as the government attempts to control what the people believe, while the SCP Foundation wanted to study and help protect the people, gets portrayed as a whole bunch of loonies in costumes by the government.

Late at night in 1956, on radios across America, an eerie sound was broadcasted on the air of what sounded like whistling. Early that morning police were floading the streets, kids crying as horrified people ran into the streets screaming, saying that someone else was wearing their face. Reports of doppelgangers, boogie men, and murders were printed on both sides of the newspapers.

Due to events, gated communities became really popular, while the demand of public buildings requiring IDs to enter to help prevent more incidents. Rural areas are now considered dangerous at night, and all laws must be followed, including locking and closing the blinds on windows.

( imagine having D.D.D. from the game. That's not my neighbor coming to your block cause your friend forgot their hat at home. Well guess lil Timmy is just gonna have to burn -_-)

[slic3d--br3ad]

Arcane Order Eli has been on my mind for a few years. Eli is one of my favorite characters and has been since I joined the fandom sometime after season 2 aired; he's baby, yk? Bellroc and Skrael are sexy so full of potential that got crushed with the movie's release, which fuels my love for them. It's only natural I'd want to pair them up, which is challenging when Eli hasn't interacted with any of them in canon.

When it comes to Eli actually joining them, I've been stuck on what makes this twist of fate liable. The Arcane Order hates humanity, why would they accept this rando kid as one of them? Eli has probably the most sunny disposition of the cast, how on this green Earth would he get along with Bellroc and Skrael?

Now I'm at the point where I can post a concept that I agree with, though it surely needs some tweaks.

Eli's Side

• As we've seen at the ending of RotT, Toby isn't nearly as assertive against Steve's bullying and this continues for quite a bit even after becoming the Trollhunter. As a consequence, Steve doubles down on his bullying because no one has the nerve to humble him. Eli and Steve never become close enough to become the Creepslayerz and their relationship rots after they're paired together by Jim, who, missing the finer details of their friendship, assumes that they will become close eventually.

• Because they aren't friends, Eli doesn't bond with the Royals; he instead sees them as his bully's girlfriend/the girlfriend's brother, prompting him to keep them at arm's length for his own safety. Krel becomes the one to bond with Steve the most, though he vetos being called a Creepslayer lol.

• After being brought into the Guardians, his friendships don't seem to extend beyond talking at school. He obviously doesn't vibe with Steve, but Eli doesn't have a chance with the tight-knit Toby Trio. Douxie, Zoe, and Claire are the resident Wizards, and Eli obviously doesn't have magic(yet). Krel, being a tech genius, provides all the technological knowledge the group needs which makes his computer skills lackluster in comparison.

• Key events that previously led to Eli's discovery of the supernatural are disrupted; Jim already knows about Bular and the changelings using the museum, so there's no need to stake out Eli's house when he shows everyone the picture of the dead goblin. Toby can't keep a secret as cool as being able to form a suit of armor with a magical amulet (despite Jim's best effort lol) and manages to humble Steve sometime after Bular's defeat. Toby becomes Steve's go-to for reporting supernatural incidents, like the wild goblin in his garage. With no one believing him, Eli ultimately gives up on his conspiracy theories, instead opting for small self-improvement, like indulging in his love for scriptwriting or jogging at night.

• The supernatural worlds are gradually revealed to the public by Toby and Co., which leaves a bitter taste in Eli's mouth when he receives no credit for making his discoveries before them.

�� All in all, Eli is left feeling unappreciated and isolated; Toby still entrusted a Troll Market key to him but Eli doesn't utilize it much and keeps his distance from their missions.

Arcane Order's Side

• Merlin, the only one aware of Jim's status as a time traveler, utilizes Jim's memories of the alternate universe to convince Morgana that she's on the wrong side of history so she deflects from the Order and kills her mind-broken brother to put him out of his misery. Whether time-travel shenanigans take place or not is in the air right now.

• Douxie levels up and KO's Bellroc and Skrael, the Guardians win, Merlin lives, the city remains under their protection, and the Arcane Order scurry away to plot for another 900 years...supposedly.

• Bellroc feels an odd connection to the town(actually the Heartstone below the town that they managed to briefly connect with in the movie) and risks their discovery to relocate their damaged ship behind the mountain and fix it up.

• Bellroc has generally been preoccupied with chasing Camelot around and has little time to indulge in hobbies; Skrael has slightly more freedom to chillax. As they hadn't quite written out the kinks in a wonky fixer-upper spell, Bellroc is drained after repairing the castle and comically tucks in for a week-long nap.

• Skrael takes it upon himself to explore their surroundings and perhaps find Nari in the town. Speaking of Nari, her magic signature is dulled with a device that Krel creates for her safety. Not even Merlin can track her while she wears the collar device so he decides that there's no need for her to flee while Douxie is around to keep his eye on her in the safety of Arcadia. Nari feels owned grateful for Merlin's wisdom and generosity and, while she has to keep a low profile and Merlin advises her against using her magic, she enjoys her time with the kiddos.

• The Arcane Order is now without a Champion and an Enforcer, while Nari shows no interest in returning to them; things 're tough for them at the moment.

• In hindsight, a mind-broken, undead king and a witch who worked for them on emotional impulse weren't the most ideal candidates to employ.

• What they really need is someone who's ready and willing to learn from them and fight for their cause with their own free will, but fat chance of that happening anytime soon lol.

Meeting

Their story starts after the battle between the Arcane Order and the Guardians of Arcadia, which happened around the same time as it happened in Wizards. Obviously, Eli doesn't become the ambassador of Akiridian-5 and only has surface-level knowledge of the events.

Eli finds Skrael entirely by accident while running in the forest, still habitually accustomed to staying up late working on his conspiracy board; when Skrael tries to leave, he grabs onto them and is teleported to the castle. This wakes Bellroc, who's a little peeved at being disturbed two days into their nap and is like "!!????"

Eli is not aware that they are the ones who caused a bunch of damage to the town recently. Seeing the majesty of their newly repaired castle is the tipping point Eli needs to finally geek out over something supernatural after restraining himself for months.

He fawns over the castle, strokes their egos a bit (which saves his life, because it's a smidge harder to kill someone who's being nice to them), and asks them if someone like him has any chance at learning magic.

Bellroc and Skrael are baffled at this twist of fate and while they certainly debate killing him, they drop it after Eli innocently tells them that he's a part-timer for the Guardians(and if they are lost wizards needing advice from the Great and All-Powerful Merlin then he can work something out blahblahblah).

Offing the guy would risk Merlin's suspicion and him striking them in a weakened state would be a major blow, like kicking a wasp's nest.

Sleepy Bellroc isn't really in their right mind but nonetheless has an idea and decides the best way to get rid of this human without homicide is by accepting his request to learn magic.

No, really.

Sleepy Bellroc plays along with his delusion of magical expertise and, after giving him a few dozen sheets that make up a single beginner's spell, makes him an offer: if he learns that spell within the week, less than five days at this point, entirely by himself, Bellroc will accept him as their apprentice. If he fails, however, he has to consent to a memory wipe of the past week and get lost. Eli accepts.

Skrael, in shock at Bellroc's supposed generosity, looks over this "beginner's spell" they gave to the boy. He quickly picks up on Bellroc's trickery and wishes Eli the best of luck before taking him back to the forest.

What Eli doesn't know is that the papers (translated to English for his convenience) are actually the directions for performing a combat spell that even young master wizards can have trouble with; about as far from the basics as a wizard can get. In other words, Eli will fail no matter how hard he tries and get his memory wiped and probably chucked off a small cliff to pass off his memory loss as an accident. Skrael can't wait to bear witness to the greatest prank ever.

Unfortunately, they severely underestimate Eli's reawakened enthusiasm for the supernatural and intense desire to belong in a group. Fueled on nothing but coffee, dreams, and that happy feeling of having passion for something new, he manages to awaken the magic inside him. Accident, or perhaps fate?

With a rough estimate from Douxie (who takes his secrecy at face value and innocently wants him to succeed) that a new spell on a beginner's level takes a few hours to around 3 days to learn, Eli manages to pull it off within 4 days, just hours before his deadline. All in all, Bellroc is pissed at his success but doesn't want to pull back on a promise. Skrael just thinks it's hysterical that Bellroc's trick completely backfired on them and is engaged in the progress of his companion's bizarre new apprentice.

Bellroc's method of "teaching", while unorthodox and not at all providing their desired result, has some basis in reality: not specifying to someone that a task is supposed to be "hard" can increase the likelihood that they can complete that task with little struggle. (Get Anyone To Do Anything! David J. Lieberman!) This doesn't work on everyone but it worked on Eli lol.

[thatcringewh0re]

THIS STUFF HAS BEEN TAKING OVER MY MIND! I made a whole little world combining my two fav things together, Cos(Creatures of sonaria) and Trollhunter's. So if yk cos yk those creatures are huge...in this no they are not, the biggest they can get is like a moose or a elephant(Depending on the creature). And also were saying that rott never happened. In this world Sonaria is a world inside of the world, like a little pocket dimension, to the creatures themselves the world is huge, wonderous, the wardens are turned to stone and the only ones that live on are the gods Nari, Skrael, and Bellroc. Each of the deity's care for the world in their own way(Nari being more kind and caring than the others). Some random things i do like the idea of still having randomly colored creatures, though not the cosplay ones as much as I love them it dose not fit in with the world building. Bellroc and Skrael do absolutely have favs. Bellroc's being Iztajuatl, and Arsonos, and idk what Skrael's fav is still thinking about it tbh i was thinking one of the winter specials I was thinking that after wizards that Bellroc and Skrael would try to guilt Nari into coming back with them to take care of Sonaria with them as it has slightly fallen into ruins without them. this is as much as imma write cause im getting way to distracted watching Mlp with my friend

[lostghosts]

Tagged by @zombiethingy and while I do write fic I don't actually publish anything lmao. I'll do it based on what I've written but kept to myself.

Thanks for the tag, Z!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Uhhh I think I'm up to like 20? Maybe more.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Oh man no idea, most of what I write I upwards of 2000 words so best estimate is probably close to 50k? Probably more.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for Code Vein, FF14, Trigun, Naruto, an IF called Perfumare, one called something mansion? Can't remember the full title, and a choice of novel called Wayhaven. There might be more, this is off the top of my head.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

N/A :p

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I probably would, if only so people can feel acknowledged and to let them know I appreciate them reading and commenting!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Sooooo I haven't actually finished anything sndjfjf. Uh probably my one FF fic? Bc the character featured is tragic.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhhhh idk probably one of my slice of life ones but I don't write those often.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Wouldn't know, hope not!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've written it exactly once and it was like kind of a threesome but I was pretty vague on most of it lmao.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do not, I would if I felt the universes would align well but they very rarely do.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't publish so can't steal what's not public.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I would if there was interest in it and someone was offering.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Uh kinda? Not fic but I've worked on some stuff w my bestie

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I've got a lot but I'm not super invested in anything rn. I was really into vashwood and I'm back on my yen/ger/jask bs

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Most of them, I get bored pretty easily and I'm terrible at endings so I kinda just. Leave 'em.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue I think. I'm pretty good at OC concepts too and research especially if it's period pieces.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description, hands down. I'm terrible at it. And movement between scenes but also like movement in general. Always feels clunky.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm with Zombie on this, I love to read it especially if it's translated at the end since I don't speak other languages beyond English.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

N...aruto I think. I wrote a lot for that when I was younger but that's all lost to the aether. I've been in the Naruto fandom since I was like, 11.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Uhhhh idk I'm pretty attached to my Code Vein ones! They got me back into writing.

Tagging @sadblueish and @fundashnee-rott since I think they've both written and published stuff. @werewolfharrington I think might've written some as well?

[arcobalengo]

Solo una modesta parte del territorio albanese era ancora sotto il controllo dello Stato. Nelle zone settentrionali del Paese si creò una situazione di anarchia, mentre nel meridione e nelle zone centrali (soprattutto Tirana, Durazzo, Valona, Elbasan, Lushnje), il territorio era caduto nelle mani di diverse bande armate. A complicare la situazione intervenne anche la lotta tra i diversi gruppi di trafficanti, i cui scontri armati finivano con decine di vittime fra i civili. I depositi di armi erano stati saccheggiati in tutta l’Albania e la maggior parte degli albanesi era munito di un fucile, quando non di armi pesanti, ormai di facile reperibilità. Nel mese d’aprile, l’Onu autorizzò l’invio in Albania di settemila soldati italiani nell’ambito dell’Operazione Alba, per ristabilire l’ordine nel Paese. Per disarmare gli albanesi ci volle molto tempo e con un risultato parziale: più di tre milioni di fucili, mitra e armi da combattimento non furono mai consegnate. La maggior parte di loro prese la strada del Kosovo, regione della Serbia a maggioranza albanese e musulmana. In realtà non si era trattato di un caso e nemmeno di una situazione contingente della Storia. Sali Ram Berisha era stato cardiologo, nonché segretario del comitato del Partito del lavoro presso la Facoltà di Medicina dell’Università di Tirana. Dal 1992, sedeva sullo scranno della presidenza dell’Albania. Era un democratico liberale. Ma soprattutto era stato definito «persona non grata» dal dipartimento di Stato Usa. Aveva certamente abbracciato in pieno i principali dogmi del capitalismo neoliberista, ma si ostinava a volere un’Albania indipendente, anche da Washington e dai suoi giochi di potere. Il Paese sull’Adriatico era uno snodo essenziale per i traffici illegali da e per i Balcani. Berisha dava un’interpretazione larga a questa definizione. Per lui i traffici erano traffici e gli affari erano affari. In più, di sicuro questi non dovevano coinvolgere estremisti islamici, avversati in tutti modi dal Presidente albanese. E così, le principali rotte di petrolio (illegale) per la Serbia passavano per il lago di Skutari, a cavallo tra il confine albanese e quello montenegrino. In barba a tutti gli sforzi fatti dalla Nato per isolare Belgrado e costringerlo alla resa incondizionata, Berisha aiutava a tenere in vita Belgrado. Anzi, la società che gestiva il traffico illegale di petrolio era la Shqiponja Co. ed era diretta da dirigenti del Partito democratico di Berisha. «Nel 1997 in Albania c’è stato un colpo di Stato mascherato», ha dichiarato l’ex funzionario del dipartimento di Stato Usa, James Jatras. «Bisognava far fuori Berisha per isolare Milosevic. Ma non solo. L’Albania si sarebbe dovuta islamizzare. C’era già l’accordo con l’Arabia Saudita. L’Albania doveva diventare terreno di operazione di al Qaida. Ma c’era una cosa che contava più di qualunque altra: il Kosovo aveva bisogno di un accesso al mare per i rifornimenti e le famiglie mafiose kosovare di un luogo sicuro dove preparare la guerra contro la Serbia». Il Kosovo era il tassello numero due da rendere indipendente dalla Serbia e possibilmente dipendente da Washington. Jatras: «La ‘ndrangheta molto fece per aiutare le bande criminali albanesi a rivoltarsi contro Berisha. E ancor prima le società finanziarie Usa (come la appena nata BlackRock, nda) favorirono il crollo del sistema bancario albanese. Insomma, quel che accadde in Albania nel 1997 aveva la nostra regia. Noi del dipartimento di Stato siamo veramente bravi a far saltare in aria Paesi e a rovesciare governi. Quando ci siamo di mezzo noi, trionfa sempre la “democrazia” e nessuno si accorge mai della nostra ombra, tutto appare sempre così spontaneo. Ma non c’è niente di meno spontaneo di una cosa spontanea». Come ha raccontato Xhavit Shala, ex capo della Criminalpol albanese, poche settimane dopo le dimissioni di Berisha, l’Albania diede la cittadinanza a un egiziano che si chiamava Ayman al Zawahiri. Era il numero due di al Qaida.

Franco Fracassi - The Italy Project

[sunaleisocial]

MIT researchers advance automated interpretability in AI models

New Post has been published on https://sunalei.org/news/mit-researchers-advance-automated-interpretability-in-ai-models/

MIT researchers advance automated interpretability in AI models

As artificial intelligence models become increasingly prevalent and are integrated into diverse sectors like health care, finance, education, transportation, and entertainment, understanding how they work under the hood is critical. Interpreting the mechanisms underlying AI models enables us to audit them for safety and biases, with the potential to deepen our understanding of the science behind intelligence itself.

Imagine if we could directly investigate the human brain by manipulating each of its individual neurons to examine their roles in perceiving a particular object. While such an experiment would be prohibitively invasive in the human brain, it is more feasible in another type of neural network: one that is artificial. However, somewhat similar to the human brain, artificial models containing millions of neurons are too large and complex to study by hand, making interpretability at scale a very challenging task. 

To address this, MIT Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory (CSAIL) researchers decided to take an automated approach to interpreting artificial vision models that evaluate different properties of images. They developed “MAIA” (Multimodal Automated Interpretability Agent), a system that automates a variety of neural network interpretability tasks using a vision-language model backbone equipped with tools for experimenting on other AI systems.

“Our goal is to create an AI researcher that can conduct interpretability experiments autonomously. Existing automated interpretability methods merely label or visualize data in a one-shot process. On the other hand, MAIA can generate hypotheses, design experiments to test them, and refine its understanding through iterative analysis,” says Tamar Rott Shaham, an MIT electrical engineering and computer science (EECS) postdoc at CSAIL and co-author on a new paper about the research. “By combining a pre-trained vision-language model with a library of interpretability tools, our multimodal method can respond to user queries by composing and running targeted experiments on specific models, continuously refining its approach until it can provide a comprehensive answer.”

The automated agent is demonstrated to tackle three key tasks: It labels individual components inside vision models and describes the visual concepts that activate them, it cleans up image classifiers by removing irrelevant features to make them more robust to new situations, and it hunts for hidden biases in AI systems to help uncover potential fairness issues in their outputs. “But a key advantage of a system like MAIA is its flexibility,” says Sarah Schwettmann PhD ’21, a research scientist at CSAIL and co-lead of the research. “We demonstrated MAIA’s usefulness on a few specific tasks, but given that the system is built from a foundation model with broad reasoning capabilities, it can answer many different types of interpretability queries from users, and design experiments on the fly to investigate them.” 

Neuron by neuron

In one example task, a human user asks MAIA to describe the concepts that a particular neuron inside a vision model is responsible for detecting. To investigate this question, MAIA first uses a tool that retrieves “dataset exemplars” from the ImageNet dataset, which maximally activate the neuron. For this example neuron, those images show people in formal attire, and closeups of their chins and necks. MAIA makes various hypotheses for what drives the neuron’s activity: facial expressions, chins, or neckties. MAIA then uses its tools to design experiments to test each hypothesis individually by generating and editing synthetic images — in one experiment, adding a bow tie to an image of a human face increases the neuron’s response. “This approach allows us to determine the specific cause of the neuron’s activity, much like a real scientific experiment,” says Rott Shaham.

MAIA’s explanations of neuron behaviors are evaluated in two key ways. First, synthetic systems with known ground-truth behaviors are used to assess the accuracy of MAIA’s interpretations. Second, for “real” neurons inside trained AI systems with no ground-truth descriptions, the authors design a new automated evaluation protocol that measures how well MAIA’s descriptions predict neuron behavior on unseen data.

The CSAIL-led method outperformed baseline methods describing individual neurons in a variety of vision models such as ResNet, CLIP, and the vision transformer DINO. MAIA also performed well on the new dataset of synthetic neurons with known ground-truth descriptions. For both the real and synthetic systems, the descriptions were often on par with descriptions written by human experts.

How are descriptions of AI system components, like individual neurons, useful? “Understanding and localizing behaviors inside large AI systems is a key part of auditing these systems for safety before they’re deployed — in some of our experiments, we show how MAIA can be used to find neurons with unwanted behaviors and remove these behaviors from a model,” says Schwettmann. “We’re building toward a more resilient AI ecosystem where tools for understanding and monitoring AI systems keep pace with system scaling, enabling us to investigate and hopefully understand unforeseen challenges introduced by new models.”

Peeking inside neural networks

The nascent field of interpretability is maturing into a distinct research area alongside the rise of “black box” machine learning models. How can researchers crack open these models and understand how they work?

Current methods for peeking inside tend to be limited either in scale or in the precision of the explanations they can produce. Moreover, existing methods tend to fit a particular model and a specific task. This caused the researchers to ask: How can we build a generic system to help users answer interpretability questions about AI models while combining the flexibility of human experimentation with the scalability of automated techniques?

One critical area they wanted this system to address was bias. To determine whether image classifiers displayed bias against particular subcategories of images, the team looked at the final layer of the classification stream (in a system designed to sort or label items, much like a machine that identifies whether a photo is of a dog, cat, or bird) and the probability scores of input images (confidence levels that the machine assigns to its guesses). To understand potential biases in image classification, MAIA was asked to find a subset of images in specific classes (for example “labrador retriever”) that were likely to be incorrectly labeled by the system. In this example, MAIA found that images of black labradors were likely to be misclassified, suggesting a bias in the model toward yellow-furred retrievers.

Since MAIA relies on external tools to design experiments, its performance is limited by the quality of those tools. But, as the quality of tools like image synthesis models improve, so will MAIA. MAIA also shows confirmation bias at times, where it sometimes incorrectly confirms its initial hypothesis. To mitigate this, the researchers built an image-to-text tool, which uses a different instance of the language model to summarize experimental results. Another failure mode is overfitting to a particular experiment, where the model sometimes makes premature conclusions based on minimal evidence.

“I think a natural next step for our lab is to move beyond artificial systems and apply similar experiments to human perception,” says Rott Shaham. “Testing this has traditionally required manually designing and testing stimuli, which is labor-intensive. With our agent, we can scale up this process, designing and testing numerous stimuli simultaneously. This might also allow us to compare human visual perception with artificial systems.”

“Understanding neural networks is difficult for humans because they have hundreds of thousands of neurons, each with complex behavior patterns. MAIA helps to bridge this by developing AI agents that can automatically analyze these neurons and report distilled findings back to humans in a digestible way,” says Jacob Steinhardt, assistant professor at the University of California at Berkeley, who wasn’t involved in the research. “Scaling these methods up could be one of the most important routes to understanding and safely overseeing AI systems.”

Rott Shaham and Schwettmann are joined by five fellow CSAIL affiliates on the paper: undergraduate student Franklin Wang; incoming MIT student Achyuta Rajaram; EECS PhD student Evan Hernandez SM ’22; and EECS professors Jacob Andreas and Antonio Torralba. Their work was supported, in part, by the MIT-IBM Watson AI Lab, Open Philanthropy, Hyundai Motor Co., the Army Research Laboratory, Intel, the National Science Foundation, the Zuckerman STEM Leadership Program, and the Viterbi Fellowship. The researchers’ findings will be presented at the International Conference on Machine Learning this week.

[sincelastsession]

I don't think anybody understands that working on things and therapy takes time and my parents expect me to be financially stable and without their help very soon but no one has done anything to help me do that and I don't know how to do it by myself.

I might come off as incredibly smart like people have told me but there's some things that my brain cannot brain.

I'm not the same as other autistic people my mother told me that yesterday. All of them are different she said and I said I know.

I'd also told her that I was upset that she didn't quite understood the general basis and she complained about how hard it is to treat an autistic patient and how her facility doesn't generally like to take people diagnosed as autistic because no one knows how to react to it and I told her why didn't they have any sort of training about how to treat an autistictation or allow them to use the damn observation room or the strap you down room to have thier meltdown and then go back to their room to rest. I really do wonder how many people have been wrongfully hospitalized just because they were having a meltdown and thier friends and family and doctors were too ignorant to educate themselves or try and help them.

Anyway I'm off of my original point which was that I have a month to get my things packed and I don't know how much longer it's going to take to find me an apartment because I Am in charge of that and I Don't Know how to be in charge of that and I Am Scared to call places and I Am Scared to Figure It Out because I Don't Want To fuck up and get treated like shit Or get turned down for a nice place because I'm the only one there when I need a co signer for an apartment.

I did at 1 point discuss with my parents that I would happily take a smaller apartment if it was temporary till they could get me the kind of apartment that I need as long as the smaller apartment was secluded quiet and I would not be bothered and I could heal in peace. They just asked me how the hell I was going to pay for a storage unit to put all my things in. Meanwhile they have houses filled to the brim with things of theirs and are massive fucking hypocrites.

I wish that I could take the layout of this apartment and just plop it on the 1st floor without an apartment above it almost like a trailer in fact I would maybe live in a trailer if given the chance but my parents think that it would be dangerous and trashy.

They are really limiting many of my choices because they are thinking in a racist manner and they say that these areas are dangerous and they tell me that bad things will happen to me and things that I care about will be stolen and my cats will be released and things like that.

If I could move to another place that had stairs I would but the stairs are hurting me and I have been holding in how much it does hurt me.

I don't like having to get stoned all the time for pain I don't like having to take pain medicine in general. I don't like not being clear headed.

I suffer from chronic pain and somehow I'm able to disassociate a lot from it because most people could not handle what idea was and could not be as composed as I am. I was yelled at and bitched and treated like shit for a complaining that I hurt before they diagnosed me. I was also treated like shit after they diagnosed me and with every diagnosis I've had added on I have still been treated like shit. The only times my parents have been truly concerned about my well-being is came down to hospitalization Bleeding or something life-threatening.

But the thing that they don't understand is all of my conditions are technically life-threatening they're all pretty serious conditions they don't take me seriously when I tell them that if I have to continue living here I'm not going to get better my brain is not going to just adjust to it I'm at a pretty big limit of what I can handle right now and it's too much and I'm tired And I don't feel any hope for escape and I feel like I am just giving up and rotting.

I used to say all the time that my parents were going to end up killing me with their bullshit and I feel that they slowly are. I feel like my spirit has been fucking stamped into the ground every time it tries to raise up.

The frustrating part is that I really love my family or I don't know maybe I don't love them maybe I love the idea of them maybe I love the potential of them I don't know I do know that I would do things for them but I don't know if I would do things for them because I have some type of stalk home syndrome thing going on or if I am loyal for some other reason and I don't understand that I feel like I've been brainwashed

It's pretty aggravating reading the emotionally unavailable parents book because the entire fucking thing is my life every single trait that all the 4 types of parenting are is what I've had to deal with all of it literally all of it it's like a manual of my family But probably a lot less violent and psychotic.

I wish I could wear a little spy GoPro camera around my father and sister and mother so you could see what actually happens.

Because no therapist has truly understood the severity of these issues because I can't talk about it easily or more easily than maybe other patients can I'm not sure I don't really understand why I'm not understood it's really frustrating I know I can't control what other people understand and don't understand and that sometimes it's hard for other people to put themselves in my point of view Because everything I talk about is fucking insane honestly like my whole family my whole life is some crazy ass Jerry Springer shit.

I don't know if by the end of therapy if I should just submit my entire Tumblr to a ghost writer and have them write a fucking book about me or not because of all the shit I'm writing about

Maybe I could submit it to psyche people to do some sort of case study I don't fucking know

I understand that none of what has happened to me is my fault and I understand that I've had to deal with a lot of fucked up people

Honestly at this point if I could move to a new place and be left the fuck lone or treated with some form of respect like I'm a human being instead of dog shit on the bottom of someone's shoe I think I could get better I think I could get better and then I could work on things and I think that there needs to be a way for me to be able to be treated for my AD HD so my executive dysfunction doesn't get out of control with that and all my other conditions I feel like I need more treatment than a lot of people can provide and I'm grateful for what I have but I do need more

This is not to say that I want to stop therapy at all and I don't need the intensity of therapy to go up or faster or whatever because I don't do very well under pressure unless it's a fucking school project do it last minute

Also I really don't want anybody to sink that a manic because I'm not I fucking wish I could have some Mania right now I am so exhausted and I don't think that my excessive talking is any form of Mania I'm tired of people mentioning that shit to me. I know damn well what Mania looks like. I've seen it in person Quite a lot.

Honestly I'm interested in the ketamine treatments.

I'm interested in the tms treatments.

I want to do EMDR.

I want to do everything in my power to become my own person and get better.

Giving myself affirmations and trying all these positive things is so stressful. It shouldn't be stressful to try and tell myself nice things in the mirror. Sometimes I look at myself and I know it's me but I don't recognize myself.

I hate my body but I don't hate it for the reasons that people think I do. I hate that as a child I was told to suck in my stomach and now I have a permanent fat role that will never disappear unless I have surgery or if I lose a tremendous amount of weight and then it will probably sag and I will probably have to have surgery. I hate that my body has done nothing but a attack and betray me. I hate that my body has never felt like my own. I hate that people used my body for their own satisfaction. I get disgusted sometimes when people are overly lusty towards me. I get sex repulsed. I get repulsed looking at my own body. I don't like my body because I am not my type. I'm not in the right body. There is no amount of plastic surgery that would make me feel like I'm in the right body. I'm sure some things would probabl to improve but I would still feel like I'm in the wrong body. I don't necessarily feel like I'm a different gender. I don't really understand what my gender and identity an orientation R. I think sometimes I do but then other times it feels different and I can't explain that and I don't feel like I can even access that to articulate more. I don't even think that I see my body correctly.

I can feel pain and I can feel my emotions and I can logic everything to death and for some reason I'm still not doing better. I don't know where my brain is stuck at I don't know what the problem is. I'm really tired of working on everything because I get discouraged because I don't see any changes. I get told by my friends that I don't know if they're telling me the truth sometimes. Sometimes I think that they're just seeing a mask. Because I put on a mask and I mirror people very fast and automatically. I had to learn to do that to survive. I've always had a poor sense of self. I don't think I've ever really known who me is. I think maybe she's in there somewhere but I don't know if it's the person you're speaking to.

And that scares me.

What if this entire time I've been somebody else and I'm locked away somewhere in my head

I could go through many what if.

But that's not going to solve anything.

I feel like every therapist and Doctor I get is just stumped by me

I don't believe that to be true with you but I still don't feel understood by you and you haven't been rude or anything I am just still trying to give you a full picture

I feel like I wasted my entire life going to therapy and trying to get better and I feel that it was never fair to me that nobody else really was that involved or helpful we're sticking to the things that did help me that I can't even remember were anymore

My parents have convinced so many therapists that I'm the asshole and that lake shit is my fault and I make excuses and I'm just lazy and dramatic etc.

They don't seem to know what to do with me

The amount of hurt that I have inside is Something that I cannot measure.

I feel like there is part of me that only comes out when I have a meltdown or I'm in a blinenrage and that part scares the fuck out of me but also sometimes I would like to let it loose to ravage everything that has ever hurt me

But that's not going to solve it

I'm aggravated because I don't remember parts of our sessions. It makes me mad that I try really hard to listen and then I forget pieces.

You know I don't think it's my medicine or the weed causing me to be forgetful or act differently.

I've been like this before and it turned into stress-induced psychosis because no one would listen and I did not get help

I do not want that to happen again I do not want to be on a fucking anti psychotic.

I think that I'm just so incredibly worn out and stressed out that it's hard for me to fucking function and remember anything or get anything done.

Yeah I have a chance to move but can I even fucking pack the boxes

It seems that I can think of a lot of things to do but I cannot act. And when I was taking medication for my ADHDI actually had an easier time getting things dinstead of sitting around and laying in bed frozen like I am now.

I have to somehow wake up more even though I didn't sleep and go to the office and sit down and talk with the fucking office manager about apartment 60 so I can have some fucking piece and actually pack some goddamn boxes so I can move if I'm even am gonna move.

Because my parents say that they will move me but they are notorious for saying that they're going to do something and then making some excuse up or something bullshit happens and suddenly they can't do it.

I wish I didn't have all of these fucking health problems and didn't have to rely on them for anything.

I feel like I'm going to go down with this ship.

I don't know if I can take the grief of getting On a life boat and rowing away.

All I want to do is just somehow be magically healthy and run away.

I'm so scared that they don't actually mean it wouldn't they say they're going to move me.

But because my father has demanded that my mother help out all I am hearing about is money and greedy language. I need to pay this bill in that bill and help out and do this and do that and I'm still under the thumb of people they won't leave me alone I do not have the wiggle room in my budget.

I don't see that I'm spending money on bullshit

I bought myself self-care items on Amazon the other day all of them practical. All of them I will be using.

I don't just buy shit and not use it.

I feel guilty doing things for myself and buying myself new things even if it's something I need.

I try really hard to save up money and I'm scared that I won't be able to do anything under the table

The art world here is pretty fucking brutal. It seems more like a popularity and hipster contest. I have never been the kind of person that wants to do a fucking artist statement I understand all about all that shit but that's not what my art is about.

When I make art I am not making it for any particular reason there's not a meaning to it generally I pretty much zone out completely with a song on repeat and make something and then I click back to reality and there's something on the canvas

My fascination is without other people interpret my Art I don't like to put a meaning on it because that takes the whole fun away of observing other people trying to figure it out When there's nothing to figure out but what they feel from it because artist It's subjective to the individual anyway so why would I write some sort of pompous artist statement I might as well draw someone jacking off as my artist statement because that's what it looks like every time I read some shit

It's a whole game that I just don't want to play I Don't Like neurotypical games. I can't play Pretend that long.

I don't know where I'm going to live after this and I don't know how well I'm going I don't like not knowing I don't like surprises

I mean my ideal place is a small 2 bedroom with maybe an area for a little office kitchen table a decent sized kitchen maybe a screen didn't porch or a porch I can sit under and watch it ra little bit of grass enough to have a garden and to have a foster dog Places to put my cat litter boxes and an area for them to be able to wander throughout the apartment having a place too small would be bad for them and I'm not going to give them up because they are part of my medical treatment.

I don't really know what to do and I feel pretty hopeless about a lot.

I do hope that I feel better.

And even though I'm sitting here crying I don't really feel depressed

I have it felt depressed since I took myself off of prozac

I believe that I might have situational depression but it is absolutely nothing like the depression that I experienced most of my life

There's not really an anti depressant with a new chemical structure out on the market that would help improve my quality of life or mood or ability to function

I'm pretty certain at this point that if I do have something that can be treated with medication that it It's probably not possible because I don't think my brain likes meds like I think I'm resistant to the medications And I'm sure I should be on like Anonymous synthetic folic acid and b vitamins and all the other crap that might help my brain but I don't feel that I have the time or energy to even have a fucking routine because I don't get a chance to decompress and fucking breathe and relax before something stupid happens again

I don't know how my adrenal glands and cortisol and hormones are doing and every fucking time I get it checked they tell me it's normal but how when the hell is it normal

Is there something that my interchronologist is not checking is it because it's not getting checked when I'm having problems and it only gets checked when I'm like in a different headspace and I'm getting different blood work results I don't really understand

I'm scared that my psychiatrist is going to try andTake me off of my anxiety medicine or mess with my medication because I fucked up because I was so stressed out I didn't remember and I was forgetting things and freaking out

It seems that doctors are more afraid of the medical board these days than actually treating their patients

I wish I knew somewhere else to go that would not fuck with my meds. I wish I could find a psychiatrist that would prescribe me my meds and everything I needed to function properly and not fuck with them. Because I feel like I'm paying a $150 every time I go see this Doctor for no God damn reason other than to get a refill on my medication

I really just wish I could go on a long vacation far away from everybody But last time I went on a vacation no one took care of my cats correctly and I was horrified and very pissed off that they were completely neglected 2 fucking weeks and not fed everyday and their litter boxes were not cleaned and they did not get water and I don't speak to that person anymore. I paid them for no reason. And now I'm blocked 44 no reason and can't demand that they give me the money that I paid them back and I can't do anything to get Justice for my animals that went through suffering and now have some separation anxiety from me due to someone treating them badly.

I know that I have a few friends that could probably do the job and not even ask for payment.

But I don't know where I would go if I had a chance to go on vacation. I wish I could just get in my car and take myself on vacation and I don't know why I don't do that. I mean obviously money is a factor but I see people all the time just take little road trips like it's not a big deal and I don't understand. I mean in luster completely lying about having no money.

I mean I guess some people have credit cards that they run up I don't I was never allowed to have a credit card and I have a debit card and I have bonds that I can't even cash because that will fuck up my SSI issues. I mean technically I could have enough money to rent a place all by myself if I could cash those but then I would lose my benefits because nobody told me that that was part of my assets that I had and I have lots of assets and I did not know I was supposed to report the assets I have but the assets are just things and I don't know how much those things cost because they were gifts but I'm supposed to record how much gifts cost me and report that to the SSI office or that's what I was told a long time ago when my parents forced me to get on SSI could have medicaid because they didn't want to pay for my insurance and give me a chance at 25 years oldTo try and work but at that point in time my back was incredibly fucked up and I weighed 300 pounds are more

I was also told by all of my doctors that it was not a good idea for me to hold a job and it would be bad for my mental and physical health.

I have held jobs before but I was never given the proper paperwork to file taxes or anything of that nature and the jobs did not last long and it was pretty awful treatment because clearly I was undiagnosed autistic and nobody knew what the fuck that even was or what was going on with me at that point in time

Sometimes I feel like my entire life has been a complete waste and that I'm just like stuck in this limbo hell until my body decides to just drop When I get old.

You know I feel like I've taken care of everybody.

Who is gonna take care of me

I'm tired of taking care of me and everybody else

I'm not even good at taking c Carere of myself

I'm not fixing any of these typos I hope you can figure it out I'm too tired and I don't even know why I'm still yapping at this fucking Tumblr

I really just want to move and not let anybody know where I live except for people who need to know.

I hope it rains all fucking dand everyday until I need to move in to a new plays because I am so tired of my neighbors being outside and loud

I know that part of it is a century issue but I've had friends over and they've heard it and it's loud to them

I really don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do you know they could fix the issue by taking the siding off and putting some sort of insulation to block some of the noise but they're not going to do that and also they haven't fixed the broken beam that's holding the balcony in place or have they checked the other beams that may be also breaking and rotting

That's a fucking safety issue and they what it look like yesterday was that they just sold off the piece that was poking out

I hate it here

It's no longer serving me in any positive way

I wish I could run away and sometimes I think about doing that and not telling anyone and the only thing that keeps me from doing it is my cat's because if I did not have them then I would just spontaneously drive away

I've never wanted to run away so much in my life because everything feels like so much

Anyway I have to go figure some things out and get some reit's summarized I hope you enjoy the shitty journal literature that I have provided

I don't know maybe some of it can help with my treatment plan maybe not maybe it was pointless I don't know anymore

[rotterdamvanalles]

Gezicht op de Koningshaven en de Nieuwe Maas met het Antwerpse Hoofd, 1938.

De Nieuwe Maas is de rivier waaraan de steden Rotterdam, Schiedam en Vlaardingen zijn gelegen. De rivier ontstaat ter hoogte van Slikkerveer uit de samenvloeiing van de Lek en de Noord en eindigt 24 kilometer westelijker bij Vlaardingen, vanwaar zij samengaat met de Oude Maas en via het Scheur en ten slotte vanaf de Maeslantkering via de Nieuwe Waterweg verder naar de Noordzee stroomt. De voornaamste zijrivier is de Hollandse IJssel die zich 4 kilometer van het begin, ter hoogte van Kralingseveer, bij de Nieuwe Maas voegt. Westelijker zijn er de Rotte en de Schie.

Bij gelegenheid van het bezoek van koning Willem III op 21 mei 1874 aan Rotterdam ontving de Noorderhaven de naam Koningshaven. De Noorderhaven werd in 1871 gegraven als onderdeel van de havenontwikkeling op Feijenoord. De meest noordelijke strook van Feijenoord kwam daardoor middenin het water te liggen en werd Noordereiland genoemd. De Noorderhaven was een ontwerp van de Rotterdamsche Handelsvereeniging.

Rederij H. Braakman & Co onderhield vanaf deze kade met de zogeheten telegraafboten een dagelijkse dienst voor passagiers en goederen op Antwerpen. Het Antwerpse Hoofd stond in de volksmond ook wel bekend als de Punt van Braakman.

De fotograaf is Adrianus Langejan en de foto komt uit het Stadsarchief Rotterdam. De informatie komt eveneens uit het Stadsarchief Rotterdam en van Wikipedia.

[expfcultragreen]

Damn, good thing i never bought any westwood, seeeeesh what a difficult shirt to explain in any way other than uhoh

Did you know about this picture? I didnt know

Frankly it might explain a variety of things like, how did the frontman chosen by her co-chair on the punk project turn out so neoconservative in his old age (jonald rott)

Wasnt there some ridiculousness about boris being a punk? Oi oi oi

Anyway

[oretsim-mistero]

C'è questo ragazzo a lavoro, è di quei ragazzi che quando lo vedi dici "questo è proprio un bel ragazzo", alto, sempre vestito elegante, l'unica cosa è che mette i mocassini con i calzini, i mocassini sono già orribili, ma con i calzini ancora peggio; si chiama come mio zio e per colazione mangia una brioche integrale al miele e un marocchino; ogni tanto vedo che mi guarda, ma non capisco il suo sguardo, per me essere trovata attraente da un ragazzo così non è nemmeno immaginabile; però ogni tanto mi guarda e quando va via, si gira sempre a salutarmi, sempre; perfino stamattina che aveva già un piede fuori dalla porta, io ho fatto il giro di banco per pulire un tavolo, stava per andare, ho pensato "mah, allora sto immaginando tutto, perché oggi sta andando via senza salutarmi" e invece, si è fermato, si è girato e mi ha detto "ciao buona giornata!" . Viene sempre a fare colazione con la ragazza, lei prende la brioche con le noci pecan e lo sciroppo d'acero, anche lei beve il marocchino, la ragazza non parla tanto quando vengono, ha sempre un giacchino arancione, anche lei vestita elegante;

Mi chiedo solo perché perché questo ragazzo dovrebbe girarsi a salutare, quando ormai quasi fuori dalla porta, una con le Vans rotte e i jeans chiusi con una spilla da balia, perché troppo grandi, probabilmente è solamente molto educato ...

L'altro giorno, avevo dei jeans neri mom fit a vita alta e la t-shirt del locale, un ragazzo, che ha avuto da poco la sua prima figlia che aspettava fuori nella carrozzina, con la mamma, parlava alla fine del banco con il mio capo, io ero dall'estremo opposto, mi giro, come notando il fatto che fosse lì, con lo sguardo da barista che controlla se una persona vuole consumare o meno, lo guardo in faccia, lui mi guarda e poi abbassa lo sguardo sul mio culo; ora io non vorrei dire, però hai la madre di tuo figlio fuori; probabilmente sono io che voglio costringere gli altri ad avere principi morali che sono la prima a non rispettare. Non so

Oggi è venuto un altro ragazzo, tutto vestito elegante, con la tenuta da ufficio e le scarpe a punta, nere in pelle finta probabilmente, giacca e pantalone blu, camicia bianca. Questo ragazzo è vegetariano, mi ordina una delle nostre insalate, chiedendo se fosse possibile toglierne il tonno, certamente gli dico; mi chiede un bicchiere d'acqua dal rubinetto, perché non voleva la plastica. Mi chiede un bicchiere d'acqua del rubinetto perché non voleva la plastica. Ora, non so se son capace di esprimere questo pensiero, ma ci provo; una persona, che sceglie di diventare vegetariana decide di non mangiare la carne, però continua a mangiare i prodotti a base di latte; sostenere l'industria del latte, le mucche, pecore o capre vengono ingravidate ciclicamente per riuscire ad ottenere un prodotto, costantemente torturate dalla mancanza di un figlio, portatogli via, che non riusciranno mai ad avere al loro fianco e questa credo che sia la tortura più grande per una madre; ora io conosco solo questa parte della storia, ma so che per dare da mangiare a questi animali viene usata tanta acqua, tanto cibo, tante risorse di cui ultimamente notiamo l'eusarimento; se pensiamo al packaging, delle mozzarelle, della stracciatella (utilizzata nella ricetta dell'insalata", dei formaggi, delle burrate & Co. è tutto costituito da plastica. E guardare a quella bottiglietta completamente reciclabile che sarebbe poi stata buttata nella plastica, ma decidere di non guardare anche tutto il resto, beh così è facile, una persona coerente, prende un bicchiere di acqua e non mangia la stracciatella.

Poi io non posso permettermi di giudicare nessuno, di sicuro, però questa cosa mi ha colpito molto.

[notiziariofinanziario]

Campagna per promuovere l' Australia occidentale

Il tour operator Amo il Mondo ha lanciato una campagna incentrata sulle meraviglie dell'Australia Occidentale, uno Stato federato dell’Australia che occupa una parte considerevole del continente. Specializzato nelle proposte viaggio di lungo raggio, Amo il Mondo ha scelto di collaborare con il Tourism Western Australia, l’ente del turismo dello Stato australiano occidentale, e Qantas, compagnia di bandiera australiana, per accrescere la visibilità di questa iniziativa di marketing, pensata per far conoscere una regione australiana meno conosciuta ai turisti. Nonostante il periodo di instabilità politica ed economica, sembra che gli italiani non siano disposti a rinunciare ai viaggi. Pertanto cercano di adottare delle soluzioni che permettano loro di non ridurre la durata o la frequenza delle proprie vacanze, secondo i dati di una ricerca condotta da BVA DOXA sulle nuove abitudini dei turisti italiani. Con la nuova campagna, Amo il Mondo cerca di rispondere a questo desiderio di viaggiare, proponendo una destinazione meno nota sul mercato italiano: il Western Australia. Come si apprende dal comunicato stampa, condiviso il 6 aprile, sul sito Amo il Mondo è possibile trovare una pagina dedicata alla campagna WAW, con due video di presentazione della destinazione. Inoltre, le agenzie di viaggi e i consumatori potranno andare sul sito per scaricare un buono sconto dal valore di 250 euro, da utilizzare in una prenotazione di viaggio verso il Western Australia. La campagna in questione è stata condivisa sui canali social di Amo il Mondo, dove ci sono differenti post con immagini delle «meraviglie del Western Australia»: l’11 aprile, il tour operator ha sfruttato per esempio il proprio account Facebook per condividere, oltre a diverse foto della destinazione, anche il link per scaricare il buono sconto sopracitato. “UN’AUSTRALIA INESPLORATA” È LA PROPOSTA DEL TOUR OPERATOR PER IL MERCATO ITALIANO La campagna WAW di Amo il Mondo sarà valida da marzo a ottobre 2023: scopo dell’iniziativa è di stimolare l’interesse verso questa destinazione che potrebbe attrarre dei viaggiatori alla ricerca di mete nuove e inesplorate. A tal proposito, come ha dichiarato Daria Boglietti, product manager per l’Australia e Oceano Pacifico di Amo il Mondo, «l’Australia rappresenta da sempre una destinazione forte e molto amata dai clienti. Il Western Australia non è ancora molto conosciuto sul mercato italiano, ma sono sicura che abbia i potenziali giusti per poter attrarre sia repeaters che nuovi viaggiatori in cerca di paesaggi molto diversi dagli itinerari più classici australiani». Anche Craig Smith, marketing manager di Tourism Western Australia per l’Italia, ha commentato lo scopo della campagna WAW: «Il co-marketing con Amo il Mondo ci permette di far scoprire meglio questa terra ancora poco conosciuta dalle rotte turistiche, un’Australia diversa, più selvaggia, che offre paesaggi e esperienze incredibili. Siamo certi che questa campagna possa offrire alla clientela italiana un valido motivo per prenotare la prossima vacanza in Western Australia e spingerla a scoprire e apprezzare questadestinazione unica». Read the full article

[mobarbq]

SolFyre Cinnamon Whiskey Petite Corona from CAO Flavours. #cigars @caocigars Comes in a six-pack. Jury is still out... #rott https://www.instagram.com/p/Co-jbGZObe5/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[lamilanomagazine]

Retequattro, la seconda puntata di Frozen Planet II

Retequattro, la seconda puntata di Frozen Planet II. Giovedì 29 dicembre in prima serata su Retequattro, in esclusiva assoluta per l’Italia, secondo appuntamento con la serie documentaristica BBC Frozen Planet II. Questa settimana, il racconto delle aree ghiacciate del Pianeta - in pericolo, come mai prima d’ora - si concentra su Antartide e catene montuose di Svizzera, Perù, Kenya, Giappone, Canada, Nuova Zelanda, Cile, Pakistan e Cina. Di particolare rilievo le sequenze dedicate all’Aquila Reale del Parco del Gran Paradiso, per la prima volta ripresa mentre una coppia di esemplari cattura e uccide un camoscio adulto, animale che è cinque volte il suo peso. Ancora più drammatiche le immagini in time-lapse che mostrano l’erosione dei ghiacciai Ferpècle, Gorner, Saint Annafirn, Morteratsch, in Svizzera, e del Quelccaya Ice Cap, in Perù. Un’operazione alla quale ha partecipato anche la nostra Samantha Cristoforetti dalla ISS, da dove ha raccolto le immagini che - anche dallo Spazio - comprovano il disastro cui i ghiacciai stanno andando incontro. Dall’Antartide, inoltre, arrivano sorprendenti filmati che vedono protagonisti il Pinguino Reale, l’Albatro Errante, la Balena Blu, la Foca di Weddell, il Pinguino Sottogola, l’Orca, la Procellaria delle Nevi e gli Stromatoliti, fossili formati da cianobatteri, presenti in un lago che è stato scoperto solo 13 anni fa. FP II: numeri - il team di Frozen Planet II ha realizzato un totale di 102 riprese, di cui 31 da remoto, anche con troupe locali; - nel complesso si sono resi necessari 2.188 giorni sul campo, nell’arco di quattro anni e mezzo, in tutti i continenti, in 18 diversi paesi; - il periodo più lungo trascorso senza interruzioni, on field, è stato di tre mesi; - il viaggio più lungo verso una location ha richiesto tre settimane; - Il periodo di quarantena più lungo è stato di 42 giorni. FP II: tecnologie - i droni hanno permesso di filmare, in luoghi remoti, sia i paesaggi sia i comportamenti degli animali: o  i light-weight drone offrono una prospettiva ottimale, in situazioni in cui altre riprese aeree sarebbero state difficili o impossibili; o  i GPS-programmed drone sono stati utilizzati per volare su rotte specifiche e catturare le modifiche del paesaggio, anche negli anni, e rivelare i cambiamenti nei ghiacci marini; o  gli high speed FPV (first-person view) ‘racer’ drone ad alta velocità, utilizzati per filmare le valanghe, adottati per la prima volta in assoluto in un documentario televisivo; o  i thermal drone sono stati utilizzati per consentire al team di filmare in notturna; - High-Definition Remote Camera Trap, fototrappole 4K impiegate in luoghi in cui si trovano animali troppo timidi per essere filmati; - Long Term Time-Lapse Camera, speciali telecamere time-lapse istallate sui ghiacciai per documentarne i cambiamenti; - riprese in Time-Lapse e Lapsed-Time in quota e dallo spazio, con esperti di imaging spaziale e scienziati, per confrontare e sovrapporre vecchie immagini a nuove, oltre a svariati sopralluoghi, e rivelare i profondi cambiamenti dei ghiacciai delle Alpi europee; - Rebreather Diving Technology e Pole Camera, i primi, cruciali per tutte le sequenze subacquee, hanno consentito di rimanere in immersione per periodi più lunghi e in presenza di animali dal comportamento imprevedibile; e, dove le condizioni erano troppo pericolose per immergersi sono state progettate e utilizzate telecamere speciali, che hanno consentito agli operatori di rimanere in superficie. Frozen Planet II è stato realizzato dalla Natural History Unit di BBC Studios e co-prodotto da BBC America, Open University, Migu Video, ZDF e France Televisions.... #notizie #news #breakingnews #cronaca #politica #eventi #sport #moda Read the full article