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#rage against the moons
trinitybloodbr · 17 days
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Capa do Primeiro Volume de R.A.M
E αqui começα o projeto de trαdução pαrα o Pt-Br dα Novel de Trinity Blood.
α série foi divididα em duαs pαrtes
R.α.M - Rαge αgαinst the Moons ( 6 volumes)
R.O.M - Reborn on the Mαrs (6 volumes)
Cαnon
Iremos começαr com α pαrte R.α.M - Rαge αgαinst the Moons e o seu primeiro volume.
A trαduçαo serα feitα α pαrtir dα novel originαl em jαponês.
Espero que nesse período de tempo, consigα encontrαr mαis fαs dessα obrα, que pαrα mim, é minhα fαvoritα em termos de vαmpiros.
Essα obrα nαo é de minhα αutoriα.
Trαdução feitα de fã pαrα fã.
NαO é αUTORIZαDO utilizαr essα trαdução em outros lugαres sem α devidα permissão.
𝔄𝔧𝔲𝔡𝔢𝔪 𝔬𝔰 𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔰 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔬 𝔰𝔲𝔞𝔰 𝔬𝔟𝔯𝔞𝔰 𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔦𝔰.
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gnratr0529 · 2 months
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Looking For Potential Musical Collaborators.
hey, so I love music, I’m a 16 year old in Illinois, and I wanna make music so bad, not only to put out art and my feelings into the world, but also to help others with shit they’re going through, and hey, maybe I could make some money doing what I love. But I truly don’t expect to be a big rockstar or whatever, I just wanna make music. I’ve been singing under various teachers for 7 years. I’ve been self teaching myself guitar for 8 years. I’ve been self teaching myself bass for 3 years. And picked up the drums about 6 months ago. And I have a pretty good understanding of music theory. I believe that the learning truly never ends when it comes to music. I first started to just give myself something to do as video games became boring and I was gifted a guitar because my uncle found one in a pawn shop and it was cheap and I had shown interest in music ever since I was a small dude. All music influences me in some way or another. Whether it be the heaviness of metal, the structure of blues, the twangy guitars of country, the influence of classical guitar soloing, the beautifulness of symphonic genres, the excitement of breakcore, the flow of rap, the catchiness of pop, and so on and so on. I truly just love to learn and incorporate styles into my musical style. Some bands/artists I’m influenced by (not in any particular order) are: Queens of the Stone Age, Primus, The Misfits, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Jimi Hendrix, Dredg, TOOL, MF DOOM, Run The Jewels, Sleep, Kyuss, Fu Manchu, Mondo Generator, Johnny Cash, Victor Wooten, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, Slayer, Rage Against The Machine, My Chemical Romance, System Of A Down, Ween, The Offspring, Dinosaur Jr, Radar Men From The Moon, Cannibal Corpse, Këkht Aräkh, Acid Bath, Alice In Chains, and so much more. My song writing is fueled and inspired by: Pop Culture (Movies, Video games, Comic Books, nerdy stuff basically), Horror, Psychedelia, shedding light on problems that most people dont have the misfortune of experiencing, shedding light on political corruption and exploitation, an outlet for my feelings, and hoping to inspire others like others have inspired me. I do not have the Tumblr app so sorry if it takes awhile for me to get back to you. But I would love to hear from some people, whether it be interest in collaboration, advice, or just to talk about music in general. Whatever it is I look forward to meeting some new people.
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goodnightmoonvale · 8 months
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shoutout to @bplotd (who Tumblr won't let me tag for some reason) who sent this ask to me a while ago. I'm copy pasting it here, because I want to keep it in my inbox to look at forever. But I'm feeling a lot of rage and despair today about how I'm ever going to make a difference in the world, and this helped me a lot before, so I'm posting it again so other people can see it too:
I know there is an underpinning narrative in the current zeitgeist to move people away from the paralysis of the terminally online "gotta do everything all the time" anxiety by encouraging folks to exert effort in a single direction consistently. And I think that attitude is largely useful and helpful. But here is something i have learned from 10 years in international development: this isn't the only way to effect change. It may not even be the most effective way. So many successful projects I have seen, and long term positive changes, are yes due to the work of dedicated individuals or groups, but they are often equally due to one single, well-placed "yes". One lucky break. One teacher who says "sure you can use my curriculum notes" or one administrator who says "sure, you can turn in your grant late" or one community member who speaks up with a good idea or a very timely complaint or a young person who babysits for a key night so a mom can go to a meeting or --- Listen, what I'm saying is that random acts of kindness can and do make a difference, in many cases a HUGE one. They're sometimes the lucky break on which an entire project or opportunity hinges. I'm sure you've heard that phrase about "planting a garden you will never see". It can be so hard, because this random kindness or justice may never, ever connect their little good deed with the actual good it does in the world. I can't help you know exactly what your own kindness has wrought in the future - that is a gift that so few of us ever are given. But if you contribution is consistently /doing a good or kind of helpful thing/ when presented with the opportunity, you are doing enough, more than enough. Consistent effort isn't just volunteering or doing a job or working on something tangible. Sometimes consistent effort means being the person who makes little daily choices to extend grace to others. And friend, that isnt just "good enough", that is /salvation/. The people who need it will find you.
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Barbie didn’t make me hate men but the Woodstock 99 documentary definitely reignited it lmao
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dramarants · 1 year
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I've said this before but as much as I was screaming at my screen, this is an opportunity for ttj to raise roots somewhere that not only includes the love of his life but also relationships without ridonkulous power imbalances among a supportive community and a new way of life outside the expectations set upon him since birth. who knows, maybe he'll choose to embrace his devil god fate lord knows the tension would not only be palpable but sexy af or maybe he'll become the supreme ultimate botanical sword master but he finally gets to be an active agent of his own life, choosing people, values, and goals for his own future, and hopefully, his journey (and lss's own growth returning + learning her identity) will reunite them knowing they're stronger, happier, and simply uplift each other when together. ttj's enduring love surmounted death and five centuries of agony to bring him to her place in the immortal realm, now it's up to them to figure themselves out and truly make it their home.
#till the end of the moon#I can see ttj becoming a devil god who's more devoted to his space goddess heiress/overseeing mortal trials than wreaking havoc#or embracing the cang jiumin persona to continue to fight fate itself and defeat the devil god with lss#whatever it is I see a transformation which could foster healthier yet equally passionate love and fulfillment down the line#with room for classic ttj unhinged dramatics ofc hehe#just gotta wait for the fluffy mushy pursual scenes that should come in the meantime bc w/o them my nerves might kill me 🙃#or maybe lovelorn/yearning lyx visuals will get me through#LMAO either way cackling at my irritation w/ this devil business parting them in a drama about a girl conflicted about loving a devil god#and my weird faith that this show ends happy - for all I know lss ends up killing ttj for real & I'll live the rest of my life hollow??#like he loves her till his last breath thinking it was really unrequited & she lives on in guilt/grief for the greater good till her time?#or he regresses and rages against her denial and ends up destroying the immortal sects and they lose each other?#I don't see it but#how fucked up would that be??#omg what if he sacrifices himself protecting the immortal realm bc he's learned to love the world as she does 😭 like a bittersweet ending#okay I'm rambling and stressing myself out more - bottom line: ttj might have some growth and maybe lss too#ranting#edit: the way I was correct and incorrect in the worst ways
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qadirvyrotek · 10 months
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billymayslesbian · 5 months
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Before Lionblaze could argue, another shape burst through the billowing smoke to stand beside Squirrelflight. His eyes glared; his gray fur was matted together and stuck with bits of burnt leaf and twig. Confused by the smoke and flames, Hollyleaf almost thought she was seeing one of her warrior ancestors, until she recognized Ashfur.
Squirrelflight dropped the branch. “Help me push it into the fire!” she yowled.
Grabbing the branch in strong jaws, Ashfur thrust it past the wall of flame and into the ever-narrowing patch of ground where Hollyleaf and her brothers huddled. But Hollyleaf didn’t feel any sense of relief. There was a look in Ashfur’s eyes that she didn’t understand: the look of a cat who had just spotted an unexpected juicy bit of prey.
The branch made a bridge through the flames, but Ashfur stood at the other end of it, blocking the way to safety. Lionblaze nudged Jayfeather to his paws; Hollyleaf took a step toward the branch, then paused. She felt a cold weight in herbelly when she looked into Ashfur’s glittering blue eyes.
“Ashfur, get out of the way.” Squirrelflight’s voice was puzzled. “Let them get out!”
“Brambleclaw isn’t here to look after them now,” Ashfur sneered.
Hollyleaf felt her fur beginning to rise. What did Ashfur mean?
Lionblaze’s golden pelt was bristling, too. “What have you done with my father?” he howled through the flame.
Ashfur looked at him pityingly; his eyes were twin points of fire amid the burning forest. “Why would I waste my time with Brambleclaw?”
The main branch was too solid to catch fire easily, but the leaves on it had shriveled and the twigs were beginning to smoke. Hollyleaf realized that they didn’t have much time before their bridge to safety would be ablaze.
Squirrelflight staggered up to Ashfur. Hollyleaf had never seen her mother so angry. Her fur bristled with fury; she looked like a warrior of TigerClan. Yet it was obvious that the climb to the top of the cliff, followed by her struggle with the branch, had weakened her, and she was exhausted.
“Your quarrel with Brambleclaw has to stop,” she hissed. “Too many moons have passed. You have to accept that I’m Brambleclaw’s mate, not yours. You can’t keep trying to punish Brambleclaw for something that was always meant to be.”
Ashfur’s ears flicked up in surprise. “I have no quarrel with Brambleclaw.”
Hollyleaf exchanged a shocked glance with Lionblaze. “That’s not how it looks to me,” he muttered.
“I couldn’t care less about Brambleclaw,” Ashfur continued. “It’s not his fault he fell for a faithless she-cat.”
Faithless? A growl began to build in Hollyleaf ’s throat, but then she stopped and watched the cats on the other side of the blazing branches. Something ominous was taking place in front of her, and even with flame roaring around them she felt a sudden chill. She shrank closer to Lionblaze and Jayfeather, whose head was up, his sightless eyes intent, as if he could see the confrontation between his mother and Ashfur.
“I know you think I’ve never forgiven Brambleclaw for stealing you from me, but you’re wrong, and so is every cat that thinks so. My quarrel is with you, Squirrelflight.” Ashfur’s voice shook with rage. “It always has been.”
Horrified, Hollyleaf took a step back and felt her hind paws begin to slip on the edge of the cliff. Her head spun as lightning stabbed out and thunder drowned all other sounds, even the roaring fire. For a heartbeat she dangled over empty air, and she let out a strangled yowl.
Then she felt firm teeth meet in her scruff; blinking against the smoke, she realized that Lionblaze was hauling her back to safety. But there was no safety: only the hungry flames, and Ashfur blocking the end of the branch with fury in his eyes. Fiery sparks floated down on all three young cats, scorching their fur, and flames licked the underside of the branch; fear flooded afresh through Hollyleaf when she saw that it was already beginning to smolder.
Ashfur has to let us get out! But Hollyleaf couldn’t find any words to plead with him. What was happening here didn’t have anything to do with them, even if they died because of it.
“All this was moons ago.” Squirrelflight sounded puzzled. “Ashfur, I had no idea you were still upset.”
“Upset?” Ashfur echoed. “I’m not upset. You have no idea how much pain I’m in. It’s like being cut open every day, bleeding onto the stones. I can’t understand how any of you failed to see the blood. . . .”
His eyes clouded and his voice took on a wild, distant tone, as if he could see the blood spilling out of him now, sizzling on the burning ground. Terror burst through Hollyleaf and she pressed closer to her brothers. This cat was more dangerous than the storm or the fire, or the fall lurking perilously close to her hind paws.
Desperately she tried to step onto the end of the branch. At once Ashfur rounded on her, fully conscious again, his teeth bared in a snarl.
“Stay there!” Turning to face Squirrelflight but keeping one paw on the branch, he hissed, “I can’t believe you didn’t know how much you hurt me. You are the blind one, not Jayfeather. Who do you think sent Firestar the message to go down to the lake, where the fox trap was? I wanted him to die, to take your father away so you’d know the real meaning of pain.”
Hollyleaf ’s shocked gaze met Lionblaze’s. “He tried to kill Firestar?” she gasped. “He’s mad!”
Determination glittered in Lionblaze’s eyes, and he bunched his muscles for a giant leap. “I’m going to fight him.”
“No!” Hollyleaf fastened her teeth in his shoulder fur. “You can’t!” Her words were muffled now. “He’ll just push you into the fire.”
“Brambleclaw saved Firestar then,” Ashfur went on to Squirrelflight. “But he’s not here now. He’s not here—but your kits are.”
Squirrelflight’s eyes blazed. For a heartbeat Hollyleaf thought she was going to pounce on the gray warrior, but she knew that exhausted and in pain, her mother would have no chance. Squirrelflight seemed to realize it, too. She drew herself up, head high; she was trembling, but her voice was clear and brave.
“Enough, Ashfur. Your quarrel is with me. These young cats have done nothing to hurt you. Do what you like with me, but let them out of the fire.”
“You don’t understand.” Ashfur looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time; his voice was puzzled and petulant. “This is the only way to make you feel the same pain that you caused me. You tore my heart out when you chose Brambleclaw over me. Anything I did to you would never hurt as much. But your kits . . .” He looked through the flames at Hollyleaf and her brothers, his eyes narrowing to dark blue slits. “If you watch them die, then you’ll know the pain I felt.”
The flames crackled threateningly closer; Hollyleaf felt as if the heat was about to sear her pelt into ashes. She edged backward, only to feel the edge of the hollow give way under her hind paws. The three of them were pressed tightly together, so close that if one of them lost their balance, all three would be dragged off the cliff. Hollyleaf couldn’t control the trembling that shook her whole body as her glance flickered between the cliff and the fire.
Jayfeather was crouched close to the ground, looking tinier than ever with his pelt slicked flat by the rain. Lionblaze’s claws were unsheathed, glinting as the lightning flashed out again, but the tension in his haunches didn’t come from preparing to leap at Ashfur; it came from the effort of keeping himself on the top of the cliff.
Squirrelflight raised her head, her gaze locked on Ashfur’s crazed eyes. “Kill them, then,” she meowed. “You won’t hurt me that way.”
Ashfur opened his jaws to reply, but said nothing. Hollyleaf and her brothers stared at their mother. What was Squirrelflight saying?
Squirrelflight took a step away from them, and glanced carelessly over her shoulder. Her green eyes were fiercer than Hollyleaf had ever seen them, with an expression she couldn’t read.
“If you really want to hurt me, you’ll have to find a better way than that,” Squirrelflight snarled. “They are not my kits.”
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vyrotek · 10 months
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monstersflashlight · 2 months
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Pavlovian response (Day 1/8 of 10k followers event)
Werewolf x fem!reader || dub-com, exhibitionism, public sex, knotting
It starts like a joke, but when it starts working… You keep doing it. You’ve been training him for what feels like forever but had only been a couple weeks. Every time you are excited and a bit horny, you ring the bell. With just a tiny ring, he’s ready and leaking, ready to fuck you senseless.
And it’s fun. For both of you.
Until you ring the bell one day by accident, and he gets to you with a raging hard on and mouth salivating already, almost feral. You laugh about it, and he looks at you confused and ready to fuck, but you just chuckle and tell him to calm down. He doesn’t like that, but you keep going through your day. After a while you start to give it a good though, and the more you think about it, the more you want to test it.
So you start doing every once in a while, alternating it with times you actually have sex with him. And it works every single time. You accidentally trained your werewolf husband into one of Pavlov’s dogs, they irony is not lost on you as you chuckle at the thought. Maybe that’s a bit offensive to werewolves, but so funny you can’t stop from giggling every time you ring the bell.
But then it goes south.
You are going to tease him like any other day, but you don’t look at the moon calendar before doing it. Teasing your werewolf husband any day is dangerous, but close to the full moon is almost suicidal. But you are dumb enough to not realize, to do it before thinking twice about it. You ring the bell and go outside, on your way to the pack meeting.
You don’t hear him approach, you don’t feel his heat, you don’t realize he’s behind you until his chest is covering your back and you are being pushed to the ground and he starts grinding his monstrous hard on against the seam of your clothed pussy.
You moan without having time to stop it, and he growls. That shouldn’t make you as wet as it does, but as soon as you hear him you are soaking your panties and wanting to rock back into his dick. You try to break free of him, but you feel his clawed hands against your back, pushing you to the ground as he pushes your ass up. You are in complete submission as he manhandles you until you are panting on the ground and your pants and panties are wet with his precum. He’s leaking so much you can hear it against your clothes.
“We- The pack… The pack-meeting,” you get out as he keeps grinding against your center, making your brain fuzzy and your body thrum with anticipation.
“You think it’s funny?” He growls, his voice so low and dangerous that you had to swallow a whimper. “You think you’d get away with training me into your good pet?” You want to laugh, to cry, you are not sure. But his dick is pressing your clothes against your clit and creating the most amazing friction, driving you so insane.
“I- I’m sorry,” you apologize, your voice breathy and needy, completely messed up after the constant grinding of his dick against your center.
He laughs cruelly, his body cracking behind you. “No, you are not. You love being treated roughly, you love when I fuck you senseless… And now, you are going to get every little bit of that.” You feel him change before you feel his claws prickling at your sides. His body turning so much bigger, so much stronger. You are swallowed by the size of him, so big and feral.
“He- Here?” You ask, trying to focus on the fact that you were outside, close to the pack-meeting point. Closer to all your friends. And you were about to get fucked.
“Yes.” He growls against your ear, his fangs too big to fit his mouth, saliva dripping down your neck as he holds you down and tears your clothes away. Just like that you are naked against the floor and his dick is rubbing against your soaked entrance.
“Somebody could see!” You exclaim, a bit alarmed. He growls against your ear. You groan, his feral nature turning you on more than anything ever could. “They- they are going to see!” You repeat, but he’s too far gone for that. Too far gone to care about anybody seeing you.
“Let them,” he growls. His dick pushes inside of you as you cry out.
He fucks you like a piston, fucking in and out of your pussy like he’s the owner of it, of you. And you can’t stop the ah ah ah you are letting out every time the tip of his dick hits your happy place.
When everyone starts arriving, you want to melt into the ground, but also melt into him. The pleasure is so intense and it’s only heightened by the eyes on you. You are exposed, your pussy being fucked in front of everyone as you groan and moan uncontrollably. He fucks you ferally, no control, no finesse, no caress at all about your well-being, just using you as his full moon toy.
And everyone is watching.
You want to be embarrassed, you want to be mad at him, but in reality you are just hot all over seeing everyone looking at you as you get fucked. Most of them say nothing, some of them are rubbing themselves through their clothes. And you can’t stop the broken groan escaping your mouth at the sight.
You come. Just like that, with everyone watching how much of a slut you are for him. Everyone watching as you get fucked without an inch out of your life. When he starts expanding inside of you, you scream. He growls and bites the back of your neck, making you submit completely to him as his knot fills you. You cry out again, whimpering as he grinds his hips against your pussy. Someone laughs at your pathetic attempt of moving, and your face is hot with embarrassment.
He fills you to the brim, and by the time his dick deflates, there’s an orgy going around you, some jerking off, some fucking, everyone is in some kind of nakedness. He pulls out and howls, enticing a bunch of responses from the rest of the pack. He looks at your abused pussy, leaking and stretched and licks you clean with his long and raspy tongue, so inhuman in his transformed form. You groan and come again, crying out as everyone around you cheers.
He picks you up and walks away. “Never thought she was such a slut…” Someone says as your werewolf husband carries you away, his tail wiggling behind him as he takes you to his den, to your house, to keep fucking you until he’s satisfied.
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magicdustsworld · 2 months
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𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀
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𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: A guide on how to properly date your tattooed, big, bad boyfriend.
𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐒: Established relationship, slice of life
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: some profanity, biting(non sexual), fluff, no curse AU, usage of nicknames, no mentions of y/n. (Would be just a short series of drabbles)
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟏 : 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔
Divider credits: @cafekitsune
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"I love you."
"What?"
"I love you." You say with a sheepish grin playing on your lips as you get on your knees, crawling over to him. The silk sheets crease under your deliberate yet rhythmic movements – something which he doesn't even seem to notice. For the felicity in your eyes and the ardor clouding your visage is a expression to great to ignore and even though it's Sukuna, he can't ignore you.
You reach his side, resting your arm on the bedframe, looking up at him with a expression akin to a child looking at something it holds dear. "You know I love you so much, right?"
He blinks, clearly baffled with your sudden proclamation of love. Raking his brain over everything he did today – nothing out of the ordinary except being a asshole to that one salesman who wouldn't take his leave until selling his– whatever it was. But for Sukuna that's ordinary cause he's a jerk at heart.
He tilts his head, "What do you want?"
"Your arm." You are quick to reply, voice carrying an ardor which is too loud to miss. "Give me your arm."
His eye twitches, shooting you a – are you serious – look. You reply with a nod, stretching your hand, asking to get served. A disinterested scowl graces his lips, sparing you a glance, he turns to the opposite side.
This time, your eye twitches. He did not just reject your advances. You huff, inching closer to him as you place your hand over his bicep, "Baby... look at me."
He does. You jut out lower lip, eyebrows furrowing and tipping your head up at him. He can't help but consider how much you ressemble a cat with that expression. He pinches his lips, "If you think that's going to convince me otherwise then you're wrong— ow!"
In no time, you have sunk your teeth on his bicep, the canines puncturing the flesh, incisors holding the skin in place as you glare up at him.
Sukuna winces in sheer pain, trying to pull his arm off of your hold but you remain adamant on not letting him go. "Owh— what the actual fuck woman? Let go of me!"
You do let go, retracting your mouth but do not let go of his arm. You pout at him and Sukuna looks down at the attacked area. A circle of crescent moon shapes has forned on the part of the skin – it hurts like a bitch.
He turns to face you fully, crimson eyes blazing with a rage as he looks down on you. "What the hell was that for?"
You pout, narrowing your eyes, "Cuddle with me."
"After that stunt you pulled? Absolutely not."
"Absolutely yes."
He glares at you and you glare back; the silence turning into a staring match.
Sukuna scans your face, the crease on your forehead to the way you've twisted your lips and finally the flicker of vexation in your eyes.
Definitely a cat.
He sighs, threading his fingers through his hair before stretching out his arm. "Come here."
In an instant the irkness vanishes and you jump into his arms, eyes gleaming with delight and mouth stretched into a triumph grin. You giggle, "I knew you'd come along." You say, nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck as Sukuna loops his arm around your waist, shifting you to a closer and better position.
He sighs, "Whatever, brat. Just don't bite me again."
You pursue your lips, gazing at him with a guilt. Leaning up, you press your lips against his cheeks in a chaste kiss, "Mhm, sorry."
Heat rushes up Sukuna's face, spreading from his ears to his neck; he looks away from you.
"Aw, are you blushing?"
"Shut up."
"You are blushing."
He merely responds with placing his hand on the back of your head and pushing your face down on his chest. "Shut up."
You giggle, mumbling something incoherent before snuggling closer to him. "I love you."
This time, Sukuna doesn't suppress the idiotic grin which spreads on his lips. With your face pressed against his chest, he strokes your hair, placing a soft kiss on top of your head.
"I know, brat."
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𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟐
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trinitybloodbr · 7 days
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FLIGHT NIGHT - フライト ナイト - Voo Noturno - PARTE I
—————–
⚠️ ESSA OBRA EM HIPÓTESE ALGUMA É DE MINHA AUTORIA. TRADUÇÃO REALIZADA DE FÃ PARA FÃS. NÃO REPUBLIQUE OU POSTE EM OUTRAS PLATAFORMAS SEM AUTORIZAÇÃO. SE CASO POSSÍVEL, DÊ SUPORTE AOS AUTORES E ARTISTAS COMPRANDO AS OBRAS ORIGINAIS. ⚠️
—————–
FLIGHT NIGHT
フライト ナイト
Voo Noturno
—————–
"Senhorita Comissária, por favor, poderia me servir uma xícara de chá com leite? Com açúcar, doze, não, treze cubos, por favor."
Do outro lado do balcão, com expressões joviais, Jessica olhou fixamente de volta. Deixando de lado os óculos redondos como a base de uma garrafa de leite, um casaco gasto sobre a roupa religiosa discreta ─ ─ a aparência típica de um padre itinerante não poderia ser nada além de deslocado neste cenário.
Mesmo com a mudança de data, o salão de observação estava maravilhosamente animado. Cavalheiros e damas sorrindo elegantemente, o ritmo leve de uma sonata interna sendo ministrada, excelente vinho para apreciação... Uma noite luxuosa e suntuosa sob um mar de nuvens.
“....Hum, desculpe, Senhorita Comissária?”
“Ah? S-sim!”
Balançando seus cabelos castanhos semi longos, Jessica voltou a si. Puxando a bainha do vestido de avental, ela deu ao seu jovem rosto com sardas aparentes um sorriso simpático adequado para uma comissária de bordo em um luxuoso dirigível.
“Bem, uísque, não foi?”
“Não, chá com leite. Com treze cubos de açúcar...”
“Bem, se você quiser algo doce, posso preparar um bolo ou torta dependendo da sua preferência, tudo bem?”
"Bolo! Torta! Isso soa bem, né? Mas ─ ─"
O padre olhou em sua carteira e murmurou profundamente.
"Afinal, há apenas quatro dinares... então só chá está bom."
Mesmo a criança que estava correndo há algum tempo pelo salão, provavelmente teria dez vezes mais no bolso. A propósito, o salário inicial de Jessica que saiu na semana passada foi de 2.000 dinares. Por que motivos, um homem tão pobre embarcou no Tristan, um dos dirigíveis mais luxuosos do mundo, que faz a rota entre Londinium e Roma?
“Sempre lamento por causa dos erros do escritório central, né? O que é isso? Essa história de cem dinares por uma refeição no refeitório deste navio não é um roubo? Esse dinheiro, não conseguiria mesmo ficando de ponta cabeça.”
“Por acaso, você ainda não comeu nada?”
"Ah, faz umas vinte horas, né... Eu estava tentando economizar calorias, então estava dormindo no quarto, mas aos poucos minha cabeça começou a girar. Pelo menos se eu aumentar um pouco o nível de glicose, me pergunto se consigo chegar até Roma..."
"Padre, parece ser difícil para você, não é?"
Aparentemente, ele interpretou errado o suspiro cansado de Jessica como simpatia. O padre assentiu solenemente, como se estivesse se comunicando com Deus.
“Sim, às vezes é uma questão de vida ou morte... então eu gostaria de treze cubos de açúcar, por favor.''
“Entendi... tudo bem, desculpe por tê-lo feito esperar.”
"Oh, realmente, o chá original é diferente. Este sabor suave é algo assim... huum!"
Assim que colocou a boca no chá, ou melhor, em algo que já era gelatinoso, o padre soltou um grande suspiro.
A criança que estava correndo a pouco tempo atrás pelo salão com um balão em mãos, acabou vindo na direção do padre e esbarrou em sua perna com muita força. Como resultado, o padre bateu o rosto no balcão, despejando todo o conteúdo da xícara em sua cabeça. Com a queda, a criança começou a chorar.
“Está tudo bem com você!? Não se machucou?”
Abandonando o padre, que pingava chá de seus cabelos prateados, Jessica correu até o menino. Felizmente, ele não parece ter se ferido. Ela, então, pegou o balão vermelho, que foi distribuído para comemorar o embarque e o ajudou a se levantar.
“O-obrigado, moça.”
“De nada, mas você deveria voltar para a sua mãe agora. Crianças devem ir para cama cedo.”
"Uh, sim... me desculpe, Senhor Padre."
O padre, que penteava o cabelo molhado, sorriu tranquilamente para o menino que olhava para seu rosto com preocupação.
"... Ha, haha. O que foi? Está tudo bem. É apenas uma xícara de chá. Não me importo nem um pouco. Sim, não me importo. Nem um pouquinho. De jeito nenhum. Haha..."
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"Que bom, não é? É tão gentil padre... então, boa noite. Volte direto para o seu quarto."
Curvando-se para a gentil moça, o menino saiu correndo novamente. Depois de confirmar que a pequena silhueta havia desaparecido do salão, Jessica chamou o padre, cujo rosto parecia prestes a estender a língua sobre o balcão.
"Senhor Padre, que tal um sanduíche? O pagamento é por conta da casa."
"Por conta da casa!? Ah, mesmo!? Ah, obrigado, Senhor... Senhorita Comissária, a propósito, você é um anjo, não é? Ah, sim, falando nisso, há um relevo no banheiro da nossa igreja que se parece muito com você..."
"...sou apenas uma comissária de bordo."
Assim que ela tossiu para aliviar a garganta, um tubo de fala interrompeu a conversa.
〈Aqui é a Ponte de Comando ─ ─ Jessica, solicitando entrega〉
"Entendido, Comandante Connelly... Hum, Senhor Padre, poderia esperar um momento? Logo retornarei."
"Vou esperar, vou esperar. Claro que irei esperar até que os céus desabem! É..."
"Me chamo Jessica. Jessica Lang."
“....Ah, Lang?”
Por um momento, o padre pareceu estar tentando se lembrar de alguma coisa.
"Por acaso, a Dra. Catherine Lang, a projetista de dirigíveis que faleceu no ano passado..."
"Ah, é minha mãe."
"Oh. Então, você estará no comando deste dirigível?"
"Ah, não, de jeito nenhum! Sou apenas uma comissária de bordo. Estou estudando, pelo menos um pouco, mas é difícil. Afinal, veja, sou uma mulher..."
"Não há lei que impeça as mulheres de pilotarem dirigíveis. Na verdade, tenho até uma conhecida que é... Ah, desculpe por não ter me apresentado antes. Meu nome é Abel."
O padre levantou os óculos redondos e se apresentou respeitosamente.
"Abel Nightroad - - sou um padre itinerante do Vaticano."
--------------------
Créditos da tradução:
Lutie (◕‿◕✿) ,
provando a inocência da Jessica, já que no anime fizeram ela derrubar a xícara hehe...
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byakugoseal · 1 year
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tag dump: broken & updated tags part ii
#✖character study║she wore her troubled past like scars / she had been through battle & came out alive#✖headcanon║i  know the parts of myself that I've hated & i can't tell which ones are mine & which i created#✖dash commentary║beautiful words take revenge against you / quiet meanings make you bleed#✖dash games║i may not have amazing weapons like a puppet in me but what i do have is my master's contempt for losing!#✖self promo║she dragged herself through the flames brushed off the pain & picked herself up to fight every battle before her#✖promo║when blood hits the battleground will you fight or will you fall?#✖saved║i am constantly haunted by someone still alive & by the memories i can’t seem to bury#✖wishlist║there is probably no reason to honor the promise from long ago#✖submitted post║seems the stars in the heavens have no answers#✖answered║a language dies without guttural cries // a story dies then de-composes // a myth#morgs tag dump#✖anonymous inquires║darkness blankets me & the moon offers me its paltry alms of light i choke with gratitude & i cannot speak#✖mobile post║i am too soft still for this world – snapping in half at a pretty word#✖queue║away on a mission#✖scheduled post║i hope saying goodnight doesn’t mean saying goodbye#✖open starter║throw yourself to the wolves & you will learn of the tenderness in their howl & the loyalty in their blood#✖ic║i've always considered myself to be a true ninja...but those were just empty words#✖sakura║may the rage in my head encounter the pain my heart feels#✖ino║a flower blooming on the battlefield#✖sasuke║another knife in my hands / a stain that never comes off#✖naruto║warrior child you were born with legends breathing inside your name & history books waiting to trace your footsteps#✖lady tsunade║how does the earth not crumble beneath our feet? & how does atlas bear it?#✖sai║with ink-stained dreams & a star-soaked heart#✖shikamaru║through sorrow you became stronger#✖kakashi║you were so brave & quiet // they forget you were suffering#✖kisame║bone soldered by coral to bone mosaics mantled by the benediction of the shark’s shadow#✖itachi║there are so many things i wish i could say but i know the hurt has already been done#✖sasori║there is nothing more frightening than a man who has torn his own self apart#✖cross over║i too have been losing my gentleness / since the first young wound#✖unknown verse║the crow has flown away: swaying in the evening sun a leafless tree
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gracexthoughts · 2 months
Text
intrusion 
jacaerys velaryon x wife!reader
warnings; assault, blood and fighting, break in, cursing, pretty typical for canon universe level of violence, no use of y/n or character description, men being creeps summary; from this request. two intruders, sent by the greens, stumble upon you in their search for rhaenyra and decide to take you as their prize instead a/n; i love this request sm and wrote this kinda fast so apologies for any mistakes. please do not read if any of the above is triggering to you. i put *** on either end of the physical attack on reader if you want to avoid it
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The night has been restless for you. A storm lashes at the island Dragonstone towers over; rain and lightning and thunder tearing at the walls of the keep, wind howling against the window pains. Your husband, Jacaerys, is still gone after being sent to treat with some ally. He has yet to return, and you cannot help the worry that has wormed its way into your chest. The storm has held him up, you repeat to yourself, sighing as you toss in bed to lay on your back. Even though you’ve only been married for a few moons, the bed feels too large without his warmth next to you. 
Lighting illuminates the room, and the door to your chambers bursts open as thunder claps, covering the sound of the wood banging against the stone. You bolt up, hoping to see Jacaerys, but instead, you are met with two pairs of unfamiliar eyes. 
Two men stand in the doorway of your chambers, one tall and skinny, a white scar across his face shining in the torchlight, and the other short with muscles pushing against the seams of his clothing. Fear seizes your heart as they examine the room. “Who are you?” you demand sharply, attempting to cover the fear in your voice with the commanding tone you hear Queen Rhaenyra use so often. 
“That’s not the bloody Whore Queen,” the stout man grumbles in a Flea Bottom accent, lowering the torch slightly. Whore Queen, they called your mother-by-law. The Greens sent them, you realize, your heartbeat increasing its pace.
“That’s the bastard prince’s bitch,” the taller one sneers, kicking the door closed and stalking forward.
“Where’s your princeling at, girly?” the other coos, placing the torch in the sconce near the door. As they come closer, you scoot away on the bed, their eyes like rabid animals circling prey. 
“The library,” you lie, “He’s due to come to bed any minute.” Your hand slowly moves under the pillow behind you, searching for the small dagger Jacaerys insisted you sleep with since the attack on his mother by Ser Arryk. The men look at each other, evil smiles splitting their faces. 
“Just came from the library,” the shorter man sneers, stepping up onto the platform the bed sits on. 
“No bastards there. Seems like you’re all alone,” the tall man coos, biting his lip as he stands at the foot of the bed. Your fingers close around the cool hilt of the dagger as the blankets of the bed are ripped off you. You don’t move, keeping the dagger hidden under the pillows, even as the men scan your figure, only clad in a silk nightdress. 
*** 
“Leave now, and the Queen and the Prince will reward you; I’ll ensure it,” you say, your voice beginning to quiver slightly in fear. 
“Oh, the Queen and Prince will reward us, alright, just not your lot,” the man at the foot of the bed smiles menacingly. “Hold her down.” The man at your side reaches out for you, and you slash at him with the dagger, managing a deep cut on his arm. The man stumbles back, a raging yell from his lips. 
“GUARDS! HELP!” You scream, trying to move to the left side of the bed, but your leg is pulled back, and your arm that holds the dagger is pinned down to your side by a heavy boot, a rough hand covering your mouth and muffling your screams. 
“Shut up, idiot,” the taller man grumbles to the other, who still wails, before turning back to you, “I heard you were a feisty one,” he laughs as he hovers above you, wrenching the dagger free and bringing it up to your face. 
“Little cunt, more like,” the man you cut grumbles, glaring at you as tears of fear blur your vision. 
“You’ll be fine. Help me with her, would ya?” The two men grab your arms and legs, dragging you from the bed. You cry out as you land on the hard stone floor.
“Shut up!” One of them growls behind you, pulling you up by your hair and covering your mouth. You squirm and fight as best as you can, but the men have the advantage and chuckle at your feeble attempts as they shove you up against the wall. You cry out again as your head connects with the wall and they begin tying your hands with rough rope as you pray silently to any god who will listen.
***
Before they can secure the ropes completely, blood sprays out of the taller man’s chest as a sword splits him in two. The hands on your limbs relent as the man is pulled off you, revealing Jacaerys, sword dripping with blood, face dark with rage and hair wet with rain. 
Jace tosses the man to the floor before his eyes turn predatorily to the stockier man who draws a short sword from his belt. You watch in shock as your husband engages with the man, attacking him with more vigor and bloodlust than you thought possible for the sweet man you know. You back away hurriedly and crouch in the corner of the room, desperately trying to get as far away from the fight as possible.
A hand pulls your attention from the fight, and you flinch away before turning to see the Queen, your mother-by-law, reaching for you. Her face is soft but urgent. She goes again for your hand, pulling you to her and helping you stand. She pulls you into her, taking care the shield you as gentle arms wrap around your shaking body, not caring that the blood on your front will stain her gown. You cling to her desperately, listening to her whispers of comfort, and turn your head to see Ser Lorrent pushing the intruder to his knees in front of the Prince, his blade to the man’s throat as more guards rush into the room. Jacaerys stands over the man menacingly, his chest rising and falling with his rapid breath, blood pooling from a gash on the intruder’s leg onto the stone floor. 
“Your friend is lucky I gave him a quick death,” Jacaerys growls, glaring at the man on the floor as he crouches down in front of him like a predator, “You won’t be so. I’ll be sure to send The Usurper a message with your head, once I’ve made you pay for touching my wife.” You’ve never seen such rage in your husband before; his usually so soft and sweet amber eyes now contorted with hatred, the flames from the torchlight reflecting in his eyes as if the fire is inside him. His sword drips with blood, mixing with the blood pool on the floor and yet there’s not a scratch on him. Rhaenyra squeezes you tightly for a moment before releasing you and stepping forward. 
“Take him to the dungeons, have two guards on duty at all times, and summon the maids,” commands the Queen to Ser Lorrent, who nods and drags the man from your chambers, a trail of blood in their wake. You watch, without moving from your corner, as Rhaenyra cups her son’s face before taking her leave and the guards, and Jacaerys turns to you; all the hardness in his gaze melted away and replaced by wide eyes full of concern. He speaks your name, his voice cracking slightly at the sight of you, and you throw yourself to him. His sword clatters to the ground as his muscular arms catch you, a hand cradling your head against his chest and the other wrapped around your waist tightly. Your knees give out as the shock leaves your veins, and the pair of you drop to the floor. 
“How did-” 
“The storm made the flight back harder than I expected. I was on my way up when I found a dead guard. They’d pushed the body behind a pillar, but I still saw it. I thought they’d come for Mother again, so I ran to her chambers first. When I saw her undisturbed, I just knew,” Jace explains softly, brushing your hair soothingly, his thumb wiping away tears and blood spatters from your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, my love. I should’ve been here. I should have come here first, I-I’m going to kill them all for laying a hand on you.”
Jacaerys’ mind is reeling and he’s sure he has never been so scared as he was when he found those men attacking his wife, his love, his heart. His more violent side, one he pushes down for the sake of decency, itches to storm down to the dungeons and torture the man who dared hurt you, to make him pay for every second of pain he caused you, to fly to King’s Landing himself to find those responsible for this night and add their blood to his blade. But you need him more in this moment and he is ever at your will.
“S’not your fault,” you say softly, your voice weaker than you’d like. Jace opens his mouth, but two maids enter the room, clearly having just been woken, eyes wide at the state of your chambers. 
“Pardon, my prince, my lady,” the elder of the two says softly, dark blue eyes full of sympathy. Your husband helps you stand, his arm staying protectively around your shoulder. 
"Let us wash and try to find sleep," he says softly to you before turning to ask one of the maids to make the bed in your old chambers and run you a bath. Jacaerys wraps his dark red and still-damp cape around your shoulders before leading you down the halls to the chambers you lived in before your marriage. The familiar surroundings comfort you as Jace leads you to the couch before starting a fire in the hearth.
Soon, the bed has been made up and a hot bath drawn and your husband dismisses the maids, thanking them for their help at such late hours. Jacaerys gently helps you undress and step into the bath. Kneeling outside, he helps wash away the night's evidence, softly sponging the blood from your skin and wringing it from your hair. You lean into his soft touch, finding comfort in his presence and care. Few words are spoken between you as he cares for you but in this moment, his presence is all you want. You can sense the anger in Jace lingering under his skin, needling at his mind, but he stays by your side, whispering promises that he won’t leave you, that he’ll always protect you; your wellbeing more important to him than anything else in the world.
Once you are dressed in a clean nightgown and all blood cleansed from both of you, the pair of you crawl into bed together, your head on his broad chest, allowing his heartbeat to lull you back into a sense of safety. It is not until the first rays of light begin to shine through the curtains that you both find sleep, but you do eventually, wrapped in the loving embrace of each other.
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scarlet-star-witch · 2 months
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You were my man and I your girl
Aemond Taragryen x female reader
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Summary: Facing the news of her impending betrothal, she makes a final, desperate act of rebellion. Though when she discovers she is to marry her dear uncle, the man she has longed for since childhood, she realizes she may have ruined their marriage before it even began
Word count: 17.5 K (I need help)
Warnings: angst, smut, fluff, Aegon being kind of a good brother, men having the audacity, jealous Aemond, reader is Rhaenyra's daughter, but no mention of who her father is
~~
“What?”
Rhaenerya winced and bowed her head at the sharp tone. She knew her daughter would not take the news lightly, but she had hoped she could understand the delicate nature of their situation. 
“Darling, I know I told you-”
“Are you alright with this?” She interrupted, turning to Daemon who was sitting stone-faced, hating the news as much as she was. 
He opened his mouth, most likely to spew insults about her soon to be betrothed, but Rhaenrya’s sharp glare quickly quieted him and she turned desperately to her raging daughter. 
“My love, please understand-”
“What is there to understand?” Her daughter continued, her eyes wide, searing with betrayal. “You told me I would have a choice, that I would never be used as some political pawn for power.”
“We are on the verge of a succession war. We all have a duty to perform and as my heir you have your own to fulfill.”
The mention of the fight for succession, the hint as to who exactly she would be marrying did not register in her mind or it would have calmed the burning fire inside her. All she could make out in the maelstrom in her mind was that she was to be married and it was not her choice. 
She remembered, just moons ago, when Jason Lannister had offered his hand. The thought of being forced into the bed of a man decades older than her, power hungry and desperate to take the titles she could give him, made her feel sick to her stomach. 
“I can’t believe you would do this to me.” She told her mother, her voice sounding weaker, knowing she was facing a losing battle. 
Rhaenerya’s face fell, her daughter’s words cutting her deeply, causing an aching pain to bloom in her chest. 
“Please, if you would just listen, you might change-”
“I might change my mind and accept the fact that I’m to be sold like a mare?” She argued and quickly turned on her heel, storming out of the room. 
Rhaenerya pinched the bridge of her nose as she exhaled loudly, her frustration clear. Daemon tapped his fingers against his thigh, his gaze remaining on the empty doorway.
“That went as well as I expected.” He spoke dryly, his expression softening slightly when he saw the tiredness in his wife’s eyes. “She’ll get over it. She’ll eventually stop arguing long enough for you to explain.”
“She’s always been stubborn, but she has never raged like this before. She’s been spending too much time with you.” 
Daemon scoffed, though he couldn’t exactly deny the claim. 
“If she had only let me finish, she would have been happy with the news. She used to be so close to Aemond, I know she’s always cared for him. She barely spoke to me when we left King’s Landing, she was so mad that I had separated them.”
“I still say she can do better than that one-eyed cunt.” 
“Daemon.” Rhaenerya hissed, fighting the urge to smack him upside the head. “It is already done. The King has accepted the betrothal and their union will finally mend the divide between our families.”
~~
Her breathing was labored as she raced through the halls, unsure of where she was heading. Outside, she heard Vermithor’s loud roar, her dragon sensing his bonded rider’s discomfort and anger. She had a fleeting thought of racing to her beloved dragon and flying across the sea, hiding away from her duties for the rest of her days.
The thought was quick to dissolve. She knew Daemon would catch her before she could get Vermithor off the grounds of Dragonstone. 
So that left her to stew in her anger at being forced to marry a man she didn’t love and probably would never love and her hurt that her mother had broken the promise she had told her years ago as a child, that she would never be used a political pawn, that her hand in marriage would never be forced.
She briefly thought of a young boy with silver hair and quickly pushed the thought away when the ache of longing overtook her. 
The thought of the old, greedy, disrespectful lord she was soon to marry made her want to throw up. This was never what she pictured for herself. 
Defeated, she trudged back to her room, her head down, a picture of broken girlhood too many women in this realm knew all too well. 
“Princess, are you alright?” 
She perked up, her eyes meeting the caring gaze of her guard, Ser Darick, standing vigil at her door. 
A twisted idea unfurled inside her, a half-hearted plan of rebellion sparked by the flames of anger that burned brightly. 
She smiled, the gesture bringing one to his own lips. She had always found him handsome, many late nights had been spent with Baela and Rhaena giggling amongst each other about his broad shoulders and silken hair. 
She had no deeper desires for him, that place in her heart was firmly held by the sweet boy she left behind years ago, but it didn’t stop her from noticing the way her guard looked at her. She knew he desired her and the anger inside of her left her wanting for one thing she could control, one thing the man who would soon own her would never have. 
“I’m afraid I need your help with something in my chambers.” She spoke sweetly. Ser Darick nodded eagerly and he followed her inside. 
She closed the door behind them, causing him to turn back to look at her, his brows furrowed in confusion as he noticed the pristine state of her chambers. 
“Princess-?”
“I see how you look at me, Ser Darick.” She stated bluntly, vindicated from the way his eyes widened and averted from her gaze. “There’s not many things in my life that I get to choose and I’d like you to help me make one last choice before my freedom is taken from me.”
“I don’t understand.” 
She untied the laces of her dress, allowing it to fall from her shoulders, leaving her in a sheer slip. The man before her choked on his breath, the hunger in his eyes making her heart race, she knew he wanted her. She stepped towards him, her hands running over the expanse of his chest. 
“We shouldn’t. I swore an oath-”
“To protect me.” She finished his sentence. “I think this is exactly the protection I need.” She smiled cheekily. 
She pulled the shift over her head, leaving her body bare to him and she knew the second he gave in as his eyes took in every inch of her body. He dropped his hand from the hilt of the sword on his hip and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him as he crashed his lips to hers. 
She smiled in between kisses, feeling like she had her power back as she undid the pieces of armor from his body. 
She steadily ignored the guilt that crept through her mind, guilt for defying her mother and her duty. Moans fell from her lips as her guard took her hard and fast, his hunger for her clear in the way he held her tightly, in the way he refused to part his lips from any inch of her body. 
She squeezed her eyes shut, letting the image before her melt into one of the silver haired, one-eyed man she longed for. A shiver wracked her body, her toes curling at the images she conjured in her mind.
She bit her lip, stopping herself from letting the wrong name fall from her lips as she reached her peak. As the man above her shuddered to his end, her name bellowed in the quiet room, she thought of how Aemond would sound saying her name in rapture. 
As Ser Darick panted against her lips, his body collapsing against hers, she let herself indulge in the passionate touch of another and mourned for what she believed her future would hold. 
~~
Aemond was sitting stiffly in the same spot he had been for the last ten minutes, since his mother had told him the news. 
He couldn’t make sense of the emotions whirling within him. Relief was the first one he could pinpoint, but it quickly turned to guilt, soon to remorse, and then to the sham of disdain he had tried so hard to feel for her since the night he had lost his eye. 
Though no matter how hard he had tried to hate her like he hated the rest of her family, he found he could never conjure any for her. She never ridiculed him the way Aegon and her bastard brothers had, she was never a part of the cruel jokes and pranks they pulled on him. They were both young Targaryen’s without dragons and had found solace in their shared longing. Despite her own perceived shortcoming, she never wavered in the comfort she bestowed upon him. 
She spent many nights holding his hand, reassuring him he was worthy of a dragon when the teasing became too much for him to handle. She stuck up for him like no one else ever had. She even looked down upon her own brothers, scolding them for their immature teasing and jokes at his expense. 
 He remembered the worst night of his life, as his family splintered with the loss of his eye and the insults he had hurled at the Strong bastards.
But he always remembered how she had tearfully screamed at her own brother for what was done to him. He remembered when hours later, she snuck into his room, hugged him tightly and told him how proud she was that he had claimed Vhagar. 
He remembered how just a year later he had heard the news she had laid claim to the wild dragon, Vermithor. He wanted so badly to saddle his own dragon and make his way to her, to tell her how proud he was of her the same way she had praised him. 
But his mother had never had allowed it 
He could never hate her. She was never just another one of Rhaenyra’s bastard children and as much as he tried to tell himself to remain neutral, he couldn’t help but feel relieved at the news of his mother’s reluctant acceptance of their betrothal, one he had longed for but never had hope of ever coming to fruition. 
“Aemond?”
His mother’s voice broke him from his thoughts and he turned his attention towards her, attempting to remain stoic so he would not reveal his true feelings about the news. 
“Tell me if this is truly what you want. If not, I will tell Rhaenyra the betrothal is off.” 
Panic grew at the thought of his mother, or even his scheming grandfather, taking this away from him before he even got the chance to revel in it. He cleared his throat and sat up straighter in his chair.
“It’s alright, Mother. I will perform my duty.” 
Alicent smiled and reached over to place her hand over his. She adored her son and his strong sense of duty that was certainly lost to his older brother. Despite his attempts to remain stone-faced, Alicent knew her son too well, she knew what he truly longed for. 
She remembered how close he had been with Rhaenyra’s eldest child and she knew how devastated he had been when she had left for Dragonstone. Aemond had refused even meeting possible suitors for years and she could see his desire to shut her down as she mentioned the betrothal.
Until she had mentioned the Princess’ name.
It had shut him up quickly and he had stayed quiet, taking in the news with a contemplative expression that was all too familiar on her stoic boy’s face. 
But it was the slightest twitch of his lips upwards and the way he seemed to exhale in relief, every inch of his body losing its rigidity that told Alicent this was the right decision. Despite her ire for Rhaenerya and her children, the thought of an impending war was not something she wanted and it would clearly make her son happy, an emotion she did not often see him indulge in. 
She smiled and squeezed his hand. 
“They will arrive in a few day’s time. We will start preparations for the wedding as soon as possible.” 
With her parting words, Aemond was left to remain sitting, leaning on his elbow as his hand covered his mouth, trying to make sense of the emotions he was feeling that were so foreign to him. He wasn’t used to getting what he wanted. 
It didn’t seem real. 
~~
By the next morning, with an awkward passing smile to Ser Darick, she was headed towards the dining hall, her pace slow, as if she could delay greeting her family. She felt as though there was now an enormous target on her back, letting everyone she passed know what she had done the previous night. 
“Darling,”
She startled, placing a hand over her chest and plastering on a smile as she greeted her mother stiffly.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, Mother. I just… didn’t sleep well last night.”
Rhaenyra frowned and linked her arm through her daughter’s. “I know last night was difficult, but I think you’ll come around to it.”
She tensed, picturing the cruel, power hungry lord she’d be chained to for the rest of her life.
“Mother-”
“If you had let me finish, you would have heard that I have betrothed you to Aemond.”
She abruptly stopped in her tracks, almost causing her mother to trip over her own feet. Rhaenyra looked back at her daughter, expecting to see pure joy cross her features but she was confused to see the anguish in her expression.
She stepped towards her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, her hand caressing down the length of her hair.
“Darling, what’s wrong? I thought you’d be happy with the news, I know how much you care for him.”
The lump in her throat grew so tight, she worried she’d choke to death before she could voice her mistake. The guilt that had already been lingering beneath her skin grew tenfold, threatening to knock her right off her feet.
“But… the Queen… she’d never agree.”
“She did.” Rhaenyra confirmed, still perplexed by her daughter’s reaction. “The King made his decree, something even she cannot dictate. With you as my heir, Aemond will be King Consort. I guess she realizes that was as good a consolation as she would get.”
It was real. She was to marry Aemond, the man she had longed for for years. She hadn’t even been reunited with him and she had already betrayed him. 
“Mother-” She paused, taking in a ragged breath, her hand holding tightly to her mother’s arm for stability. “I… I did something stupid.”
Rhaenrya’s face twisted into an expression of concern and she quickly ushered her daughter through the halls into the privacy of her chambers. She sat on her bed, her hand held tightly to her daughter’s as she tearfully explained what she had done the night before.
The first emotion to rise was a dangerous protective anger. 
Rhaenyra sprang to her feet, her hands clenched into fists and she grinded her teeth. 
“If that man did anything to pressure you-”
“Mother, stop. He didn’t do anything I didn’t ask him to do.” Her daughter assured her, her cheeks flaming with embarrassment at having to explain her indiscretion. 
Her words caused her mother to sigh and begin to pace. 
“Aemond can never- Alicent can never know about this.” 
“What?”
“This betrothal is tenuous, it took months for Alicent to give in, it took months for the decree to even make it to my father. The first sign of a crack, she’ll tear it apart, her and that lecherous father of hers.” Rhaenrya ranted.
Guilt burned through her veins, the thought that her stupid decision could ruin her family made her feel sick. 
“I’m sorry. I didn’t… I wasn’t thinking. I just… the thought of being married to some old man-”
“Oh my love.” Rhaenyra took a seat next to her daughter, taking her hands in her, pressing a kiss to her shaking knuckles. “Do not blame yourself.”
“This was the path to peace and I ruined it.”
“You didn’t ruin anything.” Rhaenyra spoke sternly, as if speaking it into existence with her mere words. She gave her daughter a weak smile, her actions all too familiar to her.  “You know I was about your age when I had the same idea of a rebellion against duty.”
Her daughter looked at her curiously, but Rhaenyra’s heavy sigh was indicative that she didn’t want to spare too many details of that fateful night when Daemon had taken her to a brothel that led her to bring Ser Criston to her bed. 
She shouldn’t have been surprised that her dragon of a daughter had rebelled just as similarly as she had all those years ago.  
A half-hearted plan began to form, one based on tenuous lies, but it was all she had. 
“We’ll switch rotations, you’ll never have to see Ser Darick again. We’ll go to King’s Landing, you will marry Aemond and they will all be none the wiser about what happened last night.”
“Will you tell Daemon?” She asked fearfully.
Rhaenyra let out an amused huff of laughter. “Not unless you want your guard tortured and torn limb from limb.”
Sensing her daughter’s lingering anxiety, she placed a kiss on her forehead. 
“No one will ever know.”
A shuddering breath escaped her. She prayed to the Seven her mother’s words were true. 
~~
Aemond stood tensely in the courtyard with his family, his hands firmly planted behind his back, the picture of royal stoicism. He just hoped no one could see how his fingers fidgeted behind his back, his nerves getting the better of him.
It had been six long years since he had seen her, since that last visit she had paid him where she had mourned his injury with him and kissed his cheek, a moment that left him wondering if he would live with a blush on his cheeks for the rest of his life.
An elbow to his side forced him out of his daze and he turned to see Aegon’s smug smirk as he gestured with his head at the oncoming carriage. 
“Creaming your pants yet?”
Aemond sneered at his brother, his jaw clenching as he turned himself to face straight ahead, steadily ignoring the amused smirk sent his way at his expense. 
His heart began to race as the carriage door opened, anticipation heavy on his shoulders. With every face he saw that wasn’t hers his impatience began to rise, holding back a glare to her brothers who exited first. 
He didn’t pay attention as his mother and Rhaenyra greeted each other awkwardly. He didn’t spare his nephews a second look. All he saw was her. He perked up the moment his gaze found her, his lips parting unknowingly, no longer holding strongly to the passive facade he had forced all day.
She had grown into a beautiful woman in the past six years. He had pictured this moment for so long and none of his late night fantasies could ever compare to the woman before him. 
He cleared his throat, straightening his posture as she stepped towards him. For years he had tried so hard to push down the feelings of longing that arose at the thought of her. For so long he had forced himself to believe she was nothing more than an enemy, a bastard girl that deserved nothing. 
But as she stood in front of him now, grown and more beautiful than he could have ever conceived, he realized it was all a farce. Every hateful thought he had forced into his head about her was nothing more than a lie. 
“Prince Aemond.” She greeted with a small curtsey, the small smile curling on her lips capturing his eye effortlessly. 
After a few seconds, he suddenly realized he hadn’t spoken a word, a brief flash of panic racing through him at the embarrassment that he had been merely staring at her like a fool.
“Princess.” He responded slightly bashfully as he bowed his head. 
The air surrounding them was awkward, both with so many things to say that had been left unsaid for years, complicated feelings that went unresolved for so long. 
But they were to be married in a mere week's time. The family drama that cut through their childhood bond did not need to be addressed, they had no choice but to accept the inevitable. 
He would be her husband no matter if he came to terms with the delusion he had forced for years. He would be her husband no matter if he had unlearned everything his mother and grandsire had instilled in him for years. 
~~
A welcome feast had been thrown in their honor. The table of royals had been a sight of strain as the ailing King gave his remarks to the room, welcoming his dear eldest daughter back to King’s Landing, lamenting the union of their divided family through the marriage of his first granddaughter and his second son. 
The stifling tension among their family remained throughout the celebration. With the secret weighing heavily on her, she felt as though she couldn’t even spare a glance at her betrothed without choking on the intense guilt she couldn’t shake. 
As the heir of the heir and a coveted Targaryen Princess, her mother’s only daughter, she was practically forced to remain on the dancefloor all night, indulging in the many noble Lords and their sons that offered their hand. 
“Mind if I cut in?”
She almost audibly sighed in relief at the sound of her brother’s voice, taking the place of the obnoxious boy who had accosted her for three dances. Since the feast began, she’d been approached by more Lords than she could count. 
“Are you alright?” He asked quietly as he began to dance with her.
“I’m fine.”
“You say the word and I’ll take you back to Dragonstone.”
“Jace.” She scolded, giving him a pointed look. “Don’t start.”
“I’m just trying to look out for you, Sister.” He defended. “You’re about to marry the man that tormented us as children.”
She frowned, her eyes drifting to Aemond who sat at the head table, eyeing the dancing couples with disinterest. The sight of his eye patch was like a punch to the gut, the memory of what had happened that night was enough to bring tears to her eyes. 
“If I remember correctly, it was you, Lucerys and Aegon that tormented him as children.”
“He called us bastards.”
“And he lost an eye.” She reminded him tersely. “I’d say that more than evens the odds.”
Jace sighed heavily, the conversation weighing heavily on him. He wasn’t proud of his actions that night or how he had treated his uncle as children, but the guilt wasn’t enough to allow him to feel happy for this union. 
“He’s different now.” Her brother mumbled. “He seems… angry.”
“Can you blame him?” 
Jace sighed again to which she sent him a pointed look. It was as if it pained him to admit his guilt, to admit that their uncle wasn’t the villainous enemy he had built up in his head. He looked at his sister thoughtfully, worrying his lip between his teeth.
“Is this truly what you want?”
“What I want doesn't matter, Jace.”
“It does. Especially if you are to be married to a man that would make you miserable.” 
She remained quiet, contemplating his words with confliction. Misery was never a feeling that followed the thought of her uncle. She knew their marriage could be great, that they could foster a beautiful love, but only if he let it and only if he never discovered her betrayal. 
As the song ended and Jace moved from her side to spare a dance with an impatient Baela, she floundered for a moment, eyeing her brother and his betrothed for a moment, their delighted smiles, the clear fondness they held for each other stirring envy within her. 
She wondered if her own marriage would bear the same smiles. 
She looked around, dread settling inside her as her gaze passed over the many other noble sons that wanted their chance to dance with her. It was the last thing she wanted. 
With a heavy breath, she pushed her way through the throng of dancing couples and slunk out onto the balcony, hoping no one had noticed her swift exit and moved to follow. It had been years since she’d been in King’s Landing, it seemed the novelty of her family had not waned. 
It was as if everyone wanted a piece of her. She loathed it. 
Only a minute later, she heard footsteps approaching and she grit her teeth, her peace seeming to be taken from her as quickly as she had gained it. She turned her head and her eyes widened at the sight of Aemond stepping out onto the balcony. 
He startled slightly when he noticed her and smiled, a gesture that was weak and awkward, though it managed to bring an equally weak smile to her own lips.
“I didn’t mean to impose.” He began, sounding slightly stilted. 
“You aren’t.” She assured him. “I can leave if you wish to be alone.”
He eyed her for a long moment, as if surprised by her request, but he just shook his head and approached her slowly so he was standing at her side. 
“This is where I seem to find myself during these events, when I need to get away. I presume you are out here for the same reason.”
“Yes, I fear my feet have grown too tired to indulge in another dance.” She replied, hoping her words didn’t sound as dour to him as they did to her own ears.
Aemond seemed to grimace, the reminder of the many lords who had taken her hand for a dance stirring something within him he didn’t quite recognize. He didn’t care for it. 
“I probably shouldn’t have left, I just…”
“Needed a minute.” Aemond supplied as she trailed off. She nodded bashfully, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, suddenly hyper aware of her appearance as she realized this was the first time she had been alone with Aemond in years.
They were no longer childhood friends, they were betrothed. It was enough to drive her nerves to a boiling point where she could no longer meet his eye.
He stepped closer to her so he was leaning against the railing next to her, mirroring her position, an act that signaled ease.
“I had an interesting conversation with your brother.”
Her eyes widened. That was the last thing she had been expecting him to say. She was surprised Lucerys even listened to her request, that he had even attempted to approach the man he had scarred.
“I have a feeling that was your doing.”
She turned her head to meet his gaze and every fear she had that she had crossed the line faded in an instant as she saw the gratitude in his expression. 
“You have no obligation to forgive him.”
Aemond huffed out a laugh and bowed his head slightly. “Those were the exact words your brother said as well.”
She inwardly cursed her brother. He wasn’t supposed to say word for word what she had asked of him. 
“I just wished to solve the rift in our family. We can’t very well expect a happy marriage if we spend our time hating each other.”
“I never hated you.” Aemond responded quickly, his brows now furrowed as he moved in closer to her. “I may have.. complicated feelings for your brothers, but I… I never felt any of that towards you.”
She felt her breath hitch, her throat feeling tighter, as if she suddenly forgot to breathe with him so close to her. 
“Are you truly content with marrying a bastard?” 
Aemond flinched, her words so unexpected, he involuntarily took a step back, asif his instincts were telling him to run far from this conversation and never look back. He spoke her name softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
“You’ve whispered about our parentage our entire childhood. Am I to believe the sentiment now means nothing to you?” Her voice was cutting, but not with anger. She just sounded disappointed and somehow, Aemound found it so much worse.
“I never called you- it was never…” He stammered for a moment before sighing heavily, his teeth gritting as he looked out onto the horizon, desperately trying to find the words he needed to tell her she was never a part of the ire he held for her brothers. 
She watched him, a deep part of her feeling satisfaction to see him flounder as he was. She held much affection for Aemond, especially in their childhood, but his affliction for calling her brothers ‘Strong’ was always a source of hurt and caused many petty arguments between them before they had been separated.
“It was never about you.” He admitted quietly.
“They are my brothers, Aemond. I am not absolved from what you say about them.”
“But you are.” 
Her breath was stolen from her at the gravity of his words, at the sincerity she heard from him. She eyed him cautiously for a long moment, trying to gauge just what she felt for the man before her now, no longer the shy and sweet boy she had once known. 
She longed for him, but she wasn’t sure if the person she desperately desired even existed any more. 
But with how he looked at her, how hard he seemed to be trying to appease her, left her feeling defenseless against her own fears. 
“Why did you never write to me?” She asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper, as though she regretted even posing the question. 
An expression crossed his face that she couldn’t recognize. He looked tortured, as if the mention of the part he played in their loss of friendship all those years ago brought him pain. The letters he received from her that were left unanswered had grated on him for years. 
Years ago, he had even written a letter to her to apologize for his silence, but his mother had caught him, tore the letter to shreds and warned him not to reach out to Rhaenyra’s bastard daughter, that he would only get hurt again if he dared to reconnect with them. 
“I never wished to ignore you.” He spoke softly. “It was just, after what had happened on Driftmark, my mother-”
“I understand.” She interrupted. The state of their family wasn’t the fault of themselves alone, their mothers had a complicated relationship they could barely comprehend. It was no fault of their own that they listened to the vitriol their mothers spoke in their years of hurt. 
“I never wanted to ignore you.” He repeated, as if he was desperate for her to believe him. 
The years of hurt that had cut her heart deeper and deeper with every unanswered letter she had sent slowly began to heal as she looked into his eye and saw the reverence with which he gazed at her. 
“I am willing to put the years behind me. If we are to be married, I don’t want there to be animosity between us.”
“There isn’t, at least on my part.” He assured her, looking to her hopefully, almost holding his breath for her next words.
“There is none on mine either.”
He nodded, the relief coursing through him feeling like the antidote to the years of guilt and sadness that surrounded his thoughts of her. His gaze met hers and the small smile, more genuine than the one she had greeted him with, caused his own to grow, a gesture that was no longer forced, but now one of hopeful excitement. 
The prospect of marriage no longer seemed so daunting.
~~
In the days leading up to the wedding, they didn’t see much of each other. 
She felt more lonely in the place she used to call home than she had expected. While she had her family, it was clear they were all on edge about the upcoming wedding and hadn’t exactly settled being in the Keep where the Hightower influence reigned supreme. 
She found herself taking Vermithor out daily to escape the tension among her family. 
The only peace she found was amongst the clouds, where the air was thinner, stealing the breath from her lungs. It was as if the reminder that there were things more dangerous than her own family was a comfort to her situation.
Suddenly, the earth shattering roar of a great beast sounded behind her, startling her. She turned quickly, her eyes widening as she saw the enormous figure of Vhagar taking to the skies, her gargantuan form heading towards her.
She watched the creature in awe, the great war dragon, centuries older than her, gliding through the skies like a beautiful relic. 
“It’s alright.” She soothed the dragon below her who grumbled at the unexpected presence of another. 
She kept her head turned, her eyes trailing the hulking figure that grew closer. A small smile curled on her lips as she spotted the silver hair of her betrothed atop his mighty dragon. 
As Vhagar approached, their eyes met, shared smiles passing between them. She gripped onto the reins in her hands and directed Vermithor forward, her large dragon diving towards the water below them. 
A trilled call from behind made her smile, knowing Vhagar was following suit. She looked over her shoulder, a warmth building within her as she saw Aemond guiding his dragon to follow her every move. 
The two of them didn’t share any words as they flew together in solidarity. She laughed as Vermithor let out a grumble of content. Her dragon suddenly titled, moving in closer to the dragon at his side, almost bumping the dragon beside them. 
She froze momentarily, gripping onto the reins tighter, preparing for an adverse reaction from the surly war dragon, but she could only watch in disbelief, her lips parting in awe as Vhagar crooned, a sound she had never heard from a dragon before, and bumped her head against Vermithor’s, a gesture that seemed almost affectionate.
She laughed, the warmth within her chest that had been stirring, now in full bloom. She turned to Aemond who watched the dragons with a small, amused smile. His head turned, their eyes meeting and as though a force greater than anything they had ever felt before, they couldn’t look away. 
As he looked at her, that lone blue eye encroached by a softness that was so familiar to her, she felt as though she was once again face to face with that boy she had loved all those years ago.
~~
Their wedding was a beautiful affair. 
No one would know it was a union between a fractured family. Though, it seemed as though their wedding was already stitching their broken family back together. Or it may have something to do with the amount of wine consumed. She noticed Helaena smiling happily as she danced with Jace. Aegon was drunkenly laughing with Luke who was smiling awkwardly, looking as if he wanted to be anywhere else as Rhaena laughed on in his playful torment. 
Daemon sat next to his brother King, his smile soft as they spoke together intently. Her mother sat with Queen Alicent, the two of them deep in conversation, their hands finding each other as they descended into bouts of laughter like they were nothing more than two young girls again.
The sight made her happy. She knew her mother missed her old friend dearly and it looked as though Alicent had missed their friendship just as deeply. 
“Are you ready?” 
She turned on her heel to find Aemond, her husband, standing before her anxiously, his face a mask of anxious anticipation as he held his hand out to her. 
She swallowed and nodded stiffly, taking his hand as nerves as heavy as lead built within her. It was time for the bedding. Every happy thought in her head was gone in an instant as she suddenly could focus on nothing but the secret she kept from him. 
As he guided her out of the hall, her eyes met her mother, her face now serious, giving her a slow, knowing nod, reminding her to stay silent, to perform her duty and act as an untouched maiden. 
They walked in silence, the tension between them growing. 
They had been in a daze practically the entire day, their smiles shy yet glowing as they spoke their vows in the Sept, as they shared their first kiss as husband and wife. 
Their true first kiss had been years ago when they were merely eight years old. She had kissed him after he had yet another unsuccessful bout in the dragon pit and had stolen a chaste kiss as she brushed the dirt from his cheeks. 
She had never seen him turn so red before. 
They were a long way from those innocent children they had been.
“Are you alright?” He asked, startling her out of her long lost thoughts. She looked at him and was surprisingly relieved to see he looked just as nervous as she was sure she looked. 
“I am.” She assured him with an awkward smile. “Are you?”
“Yes.” He answered quickly, too quickly to portray any calmness about their current predicament. 
Their hearts were racing as they stepped inside their new marital chambers. She immediately moved to the vanity, working on removing the many pins from her hair that had been pinching her all night.
She sighed dramatically as the pressure on her skull was relieved and the sound of an amused hum, an almost sounding laugh, caught her attention. She looked over her shoulder to see Aemond watching her thoughtfully. 
The sight of him, the small upturn of his lips, the desire in his eye, should have stirred her own, but all she could feel was all consuming nerves. 
Tonight she’d have to lie to him. 
“You look beautiful.” 
His words startled her, her eyes widening slightly, not having expected the compliment. She smiled bashfully, trucking a strand of hair behind her ear nervously as her gaze fell to the floor between them.
“I’m sorry, I haven’t told you that yet tonight. I haven’t told you since you’ve been back.” 
She was surprised by how forward he was, his words so sincere yet so different from the man she knew stood before her. 
It seemed she wasn’t the only one who longed for this marriage to be one of peace, to heal the wounds that had been so deeply ingrained in their family for so long. 
He approached her slowly, the look in his eye one she had never seen before. Desire. He reached out, his hand moving to her jaw, his touch light as he held her as if he were afraid she would flee. 
Her hands almost shook as she laid them across his strong chest, beginning to slowly undo the intricate buckles that covered him. 
He let her undo each one, the sound of his own heavy breath betraying his nerves. Once his chest laid bare before her did he finally pull her in close to him, his gaze locked on hers as he leaned in close before finally kissing her. 
He was soft, though as she responded to his kiss, he met her with fervor, portraying every ounce of pent up desire he’d unknowingly held for her for so long. He kissed her as if she were the very air he breathed. 
Her mind was a mess of thoughts, swirling with desire and agony as she desperately wished his lips had been the first she kissed so passionately, that his touch that tightened on her waist as he undid the laces on her gown, were the first hands to touch her so intimately. 
She couldn’t break herself from the thoughts as they moved to the bed. She couldn’t stop the heavy feeling of regret that tainted every one of his touches and fervent kisses. 
Her chest heaved, her guilt portraying as nerves for a perceived first bedding. Aemond ran his hands up the length of her thighs, his touch, which should have caused butterflies to fly rampant within her, only reminded her of the man who had touched her previously. 
He kissed her softly as he settled himself atop her. 
“I’m sorry… this- it might hurt you.”
The claw of guilt inside her turned into a fist that clenched tightly and she squeezed her eyes shut. 
“It’s alright.” She breathed out.
He kissed her again though the gesture, filled with so much affection, did little to soothe her as he intended to. 
She kept her eyes on the ceiling, the guilt keeping her from looking at her husband, from seeing the eagerness in his gaze as he took her for the first time.
He eased inside of her slowly, the sound of his breath stuttering catching her attention, almost enough to incite her own arousal if her mind wasn’t tainted with worry, of suddenly being found out and ruined before she even got to enjoy her marriage.
With hatred for herself burning hotly within her she mimicked a sound of discomfort as he settled inside her. 
“Are you alright?” He asked slightly breathlessly, his gaze looking down at her in concern. 
She nodded stiffly, her throat tight as she met his eye. She soon wondered if the guilt would stop her breathing before he could even finish. 
She tried her best to forget about the glaring guilt, she tried not to think about her night with Ser Darick, of the man who touched her before that shouldn’t have. She should’ve been in ecstasy to finally be laying with the man she had dreamed of for years, but as he moved inside her, she couldn’t help but wince, her lack of arousal keeping her from enjoying what she had desired for so long. 
It at least helped with her charade of the innocent maiden who feared the marriage bed. 
She watched her husband with barely contained emotion as his eye closed in pleasure, his lips parted with heavy breaths, the sound of his quiet moans had her wishing she could go back in time and never invite that Knight into her bed. 
As she watched him find his pleasure, as he stuttered out her name in delight, she knew she could never hurt him. She could never reveal her secret for she could never cause him pain. 
Above her, Aemond stiffened, his hips losing momentum, his grip on her hips tightening as he lost himself to his pleasure, a loud grunt falling from his lips as he reached his peak. 
She exhaled loudly, an empty feeling settling within her, the guilt and anger at herself melding into self-loathing despair. 
“I hurt you.” He breathed out, sounding pained as his hand cradled her cheek, his thumb wiping away the tear she hadn’t realized had fallen. 
“I’m ok.” She assured her, though with how stilted her voice sounded, she knew he didn’t believe her. 
He pulled out of her slowly and moved to lay next to her, his worried gaze never leaving hers. He moved his hand to rest at the back of her neck, gently urging her forward so his forehead could rest against hers. 
“I’m sorry.” He whispered and she felt her eyes sting with more tears, his affection stirring the loathing that lashed her like a whip.
She shook her head and leaned into him, grasping onto his hand, holding tightly. 
“I wish we could have had this earlier.” She whispered, the only admittance she could allow herself. 
Aemond smiled softly and kissed her again, his touch gentle and careful, as if he worried about hurting her more. 
“So do I.” 
He held her as she struggled to sort out of her emotions, unaware of the torment within her. 
~~
By the next morning, she woke from a tumultuous sleep to find herself alone in bed. 
Her heart began to race as she propped herself up, dread coursing within her veins as she suddenly feared the worst. That, somehow in the night, Aemond had figured out the truth and left in a rage, leaving her behind before she could even enjoy what they could’ve had. 
“Good morning.”
The sound of his voice broke her out of her dark thoughts and she turned abruptly to see her new husband strolling in through the open balcony doors. He smiled lightly, looking slightly bashful to see her in such a vulnerable state, as if he hadn’t laid with her just hours before. 
“The maids brought breakfast.” 
She nodded and moved to peel the covers off her, hiding her wince at the flare of discomfort at the back of her thigh from where she had given herself a small cut after her husband had fallen asleep, using the small wound to stain the sheets with her blood that would not fall between her tainted legs. 
She stood from the bed, oblivious to how Aemond’s eye followed the length of her body with intrigue as she reached for her robe. They shared small smiles, the air of awkwardness lingering as they stepped out onto the balcony together. 
She immediately moved to pour herself a cup of tea, taking a much needed sip of the hot drink, praying it would soothe her frayed nerves. As Aemond took a seat next to her, she poured a second cup, adding a spoonful of honey before sliding it over to him. 
His gaze remained on her, as if in awe, as she took another sip. 
Feeling his eye on her, she turned, her brows raising in question at the beseeched expression on his face. 
“Is everything alright?” She asked slowly and he nodded, clearing his throat, leaning his elbow on his knee as his curled fist covered his lips, covering the smile that began to grow. 
“You remembered how I take my tea in the morning.” He spoke softly. 
She felt her stomach twist, this time for reasons completely different from the regret that had been staunchly drowning her since the night before. 
“Of course I did.” She said quietly with a shrug. “I wouldn’t forget anything about you.”
Her words, the knowledge that she had thought of him just as he had thought of her, had longed for him just as he had longed for her all those years they were separated, had a warmth spreading through him he had never felt before. 
Any trepidation he had about the marriage, any qualms he had about Rhaenyra taking her place on the throne, of his nephews back in King’s Landing, shattered in an instant. Everything else seemed so inconsequential to him now that he married her, now that he got to call her his wife. 
He reached out, slightly hesitantly, his heart racing as he placed his hand over hers. 
Their eyes met and it was as if an understanding passed between them, a final puzzle piece falling into place. 
“Can I kiss you?” 
She nodded quickly and smiled as he leaned in. Their lips met in a gentle, unhurried kiss that was filled with quiet affection, the meeting of a new husband and wife who had just come to an understanding, who had put away years of complicated feelings and settled to live as the pair of childhood companions that felt nothing but love for each other.
As he kissed her, she forced herself to move past the pain in the back of her thigh. Under his assured yet gentle touch, she forced her guilt and regret to the depths of her mind, desperate to find peace with him. 
~~
Over the next couple of months, their marriage flourished in ways neither one of them had expected. Their time spent together had seemed to heal every slight from their childhood, leaving the both of them feeling lighter, no longer shrouded in the guise of hatred. 
It would take time for Aemond to come around to her brothers, but he was finding it easier to let go of the fury that used to permeate every thought of them. They were by no means friends, but it was at least becoming easier to simply look at them, to exist among them. 
One morning, as Rhaenyra and Alicent took their morning tea together in the gardens, they caught sight of the newly married couple, arm in arm, barely an inch of space between them. 
“They are quite the match.” Alicent remarked with a smile as she looked at her son, the easy expression on his face a far cry from the scowl that had become all too familiar from her second son. 
“They are.” Rhaenyra agreed, relief flowing through her as she heard her daughter’s laugh from across the yard, watching as she leaned into her husband. 
She was more than thankful her dear daughter’s secret remained. 
“I am sorry I took so long to agree to their union.” Alicent admitted almost shyly. “To see my Aemond as he is now, so carefree, so… unburdened with her. I regret that my hesitation caused him to suffer for longer than he needed to.”
Rhaenyra frowned and reached out, taking her friend’s hand, curling her fingers around her own. 
“There is nothing to forgive. They are happy now… we are happy now. That is what matters.”
Alicent smiled, her eyes filled with emotion she hadn’t let herself reveal for so long. She squeezed Rhaenyra’s hand in silent comfort. 
“I have heard the maids gossiping. It sounds as though it will not be long until there is a new babe to care for.” 
Rhaenyra’s jaw dropped, a scandalized laugh escaping her as she looked at her friend, usually so demure, in disbelief. 
“Oh gods, do not let them know they are being gossiped about.” 
Alicent giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. 
“I would never. I do not think my son would ever return to court if that were the case.”
“They are late to every dinner. Surely they know it is not much of a secret what they are doing.” Rhaenyra commented, descending them both into laughter once more.
While the both of them laughed as though they were young girls again, the two of them couldn’t help but feel as though an enormous weight had been lifted from their shoulders, allowing them to breathe easier. 
The union between their children gave them what they needed, what they were desperately hoping for. The fact that their children were just as happy with each other was everything they needed to heal themselves. 
They soon lost sight of their children and, judging by the gossip they heard from the maids, they thought they preferred not knowing exactly what they were getting up to.  
It was for the better because the second Aemond had enough of the desire raging through his body, he had dragged his wife back to their chambers, only a mere hour after they had left it for the morning. 
He couldn’t get enough of her. 
He could barely get through his day without succumbing to his fire that burned hotly for her. Their walk in the garden, their duties for the rest of the day were long forgotten as he took her roughly atop her vanity, the wooden legs shaking beneath their passionate affair.
“Aemond!” She called out, her hands tightening at the back of his head where she had fistfulls of his hair. He groaned and quickened his pace, thrusting into her with the ferocity of an animal. 
Over their time together, she had been able to relax around him, thinking less and less of that horrible night with her guard that could have ruined everything. She allowed herself to fall into him, to let herself think of nothing but him, and she couldn’t have been more thankful.
He took her daily, their union fiercely passionate, the two of them quickly becoming insatiable for each other. 
“Fuck, darling, you are perfect.” Aemond growled, his hips never faltering in their harsh rhythm as he took her roughly. 
The way he took her now and had been for weeks was a far cry from the tepid and shy man she had seen on their wedding night. 
Cries fell from her lips as she desperately held him, her only tether in the haze of pleasure he now could so easily spiral her to. 
“Don’t stop.” She begged breathlessly, her head falling back to her shoulders, her eyes shut tightly as he fucked her so hard it was all she could do to hold and enjoy the ride. 
“Never, my love, I'll never stop.” He promised her, the desperation in his voice clear. He panted heavily as his hips moved with precision, eager to reach that spot he knew ruined her completely. 
He longed to see her unravel, he longed to hear her scream for him. It had quickly become the greatest thing he had ever been fortunate enough to witness and his greatest accomplishment. 
His grip on her hips tightened, his awed gaze fluttering over her form, eager to take in every inch of her. 
Her toes curled, a high pitched moan sounding as her body tensed, as she felt herself creeping up on the crest of blinding pleasure. 
“That’s it love, cum for me. Do it for me, I need it.” He rambled, his voice rough, causing shivers to race down her spine. 
Her nails dug into his shoulders and his answering grunt of pleasure undid her completely. She screamed his name, her hips jolting against his as she reached her peak. Aemond held her tightly, his arms moving around her back to hold him to her as his hips stuttered, becoming frantic in his final moments.
“Fuck… fuck!” He yelled as he felt her tighten around him.
He buried his face in the crook of her neck, planting sloppy kisses along the delicate slope before he felt the curling of hazy pleasure unfurl within him. 
His eye squeezed shut, his jaw fell slack as a breathless moan escaped him as he came. Small cries left him, his hips continuing to move, losing their intensity as he spilled inside her. 
Their shared heavy breaths echoed throughout the room as neither one of them moved an inch. He continued to hold her tightly, wrapped around her completely. He shivered against her as she began to caress the length of his back, her soft hands moving up and down gently, causing him to sigh in delight. 
After a few long moments, as they caught their breath, he pulled away, nudging his nose against hers, smirking lightly at the sight of her so thoroughly spent. He kissed her assuredly, his tongue tangling with hers, his touch still firm, as if he were still desperate for her. 
They parted with the need for air, soft smiles shared between the two, almost bashful, as if they hadn’t just fucked debauchedly as though they were in a brothel. He pulled out of her and began to clean the mess between her thighs, delighting in the way she’d twitch against his touches, thoroughly overstimulated from his hands. 
“Do you remember when you put jam in my hair?” He asked suddenly, causing her to look down at him with a raised brow in disbelief. 
“You are thinking about that now?”
The childhood memory was not forgotten but she certainly hadn’t been thinking of it after he had ravished her.
“With how you were just pulling on it, I’m beginning to think you have some kind of vendetta against my hair.” He remarked with a smirk as he pulled his breeches back up and grabbed his discarded doublet that she’d torn off him. 
She laughed and shook her head, her eyes trailing his every move, pouting almost reflexively as he dressed himself, covering up that beautiful body from her eager gaze. 
“It is beautiful. Perhaps I am trying to sabotage you out of jealousy.” She smiled coyly.
“Jealousy?” He echoed in disbelief. “Darling, you are the most stunning woman in the realm, you have little to be jealous of.”
She felt her cheeks heat as she half-heartedly rolled her eyes. Since they had become more comfortable with each other, his compliments had been never ending, never failing to make her swoon each and every time. 
“So, same time tomorrow?” She joked, to which he snorted and looked over at her, nothing but adoration in his eye. 
He stepped toward her again, pulling the fallen sleeve of her dress back in place.
“Oh, darling, I will have you again tonight, surely.” He drawled, reveling in the way she seemed to shiver against him, already eagerly anticipating the night and agonizing over the hours between. 
He kissed her again and leaned his forehead against hers, as if he needed a moment longer with her before parting from her side. 
“I will find you once I am finished.” He assured her. 
As he left her to continue with his duties for the day he had steadily been ignoring, she finished cleaning herself up and fixing her disheveled hair. 
Her smile remained as she righted her dress, her legs trembling slightly as she made slow steps across their chambers. She just knew Baela would be dragging their salacious actions out of her the second she saw her. 
The giddy feeling within her crumbled into dust the moment she opened the door and came face to face with the one person she was content to never see again.
Her face fell, a look of horror overtaking her features.
“Ser Darick.” 
Her voice shook as she greeted him, which seemed to only deepen his smug grin. 
“Princess.” He bowed dutifully. “It has been too long.”
The sarcasm that laced his words cut her deeply and she averted her gaze, her heart racing wildly. The memories of that fateful night, the guilt that she had been able to push into the depths of her mind resurfaced with the force of a punch, almost enough to knock her off her feet.
She didn’t spare the man another look as she took off down the hall, her face crumbling into a deep frown as frustrated tears filled her eyes.
He would ruin everything.
~~
Her hand was clutched to her mother’s, her retelling of the day striking a need for her motherly touch. 
“I will take care of it.”
“How?”
“I will find a way.”
She remained silent, her face twisted with fear and disgust.
“What if he knows?”
“He doesn’t.”
“You cannot know that. Why would he be reassigned to me? Surely this is some plot to ruin me.” She rambled, her worried mind not allowing her to think straight. 
“The guards are spread thin here. We needed more help so guards from Dragonstone were requested here, but I… I had no idea he would be assigned to you.”
She sighed heavily, her mother’s words doing little to reassure her.
“I can’t keep lying to him.”
“Darling-”
“I love him and I can’t stand the fact that our marriage is built on a lie.”
Rhaenyra clenched her jaw, her teeth pulling her bottom lip tightly. Before she could even attempt to soothe her daughter the door opened and Daemon stepped into their shared chambers. 
Both women tensed, sitting up straighter in their seats at his unexpected arrival. 
His eyes flitted between both women curiously, immediately sensing the tension in the room.
“Is everything alright?”
“Everything is fine, my love.”
His wife’s words did little to soothe the awkward energy in the room.
“What are you two discussing?”
“Guard rotations.” 
Daemon looked at his step-daughter with narrowed eyes, the topic one he had not expected. His instincts were telling him something was wrong, that he was being lied to. 
“Is someone not to your liking?”
“Ser Darick has been assigned as her guard and we hoped we could find someone else for her.”
“Why?”
“No specific reason-” Rhaenyra attempted to diffuse the situation, but he had seen right through it, he knew something was amiss.
“I don’t understand. Ser Darick was your guard for years, he was loyally by your side, he watched over you, he cared for-”
Daemon’s sentence stopped abruptly, as if he had suddenly realized the double meaning in his words. His eyes narrowed, the angry fire burning within him so hotly she had to turn away from his gaze. He looked to his wife, as if needing confirmation to the thought burning in his brain.
When Rhaenyra sighed disappointedly, her gaze moving away from his, he felt as though he had the answer to the horrible explanation he had conjured.
Within a second he unsheathed his sword, causing his daughter to flinch and Rhaenyra to get to her feet. 
“Daemon-”
“Where is he?”
“You need to calm down-”
“I will strike every limb from his body and string him-”
“Please stop!” She yelled, stopping her father’s detailed description of the torture he would inflict on the man he believed to have committed an egregious crime.
“You cannot seriously be protecting the man that took advantage of you. He touched you, he raped you! He should be fed to our dragons!”
“He didn’t rape me!” 
Daemon remained quiet, taking in her words slowly. His face twisted, an expression of confusion soon morphing into dread and she shifted in her seat under his intense glare.
“You didn’t.” He spat. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“Daemon, please.”
“You let that guard into your bed?”
She leaned her elbows on her knees, her head falling into her hands as she breathed heavily, embarrassment washing over her like a tidal wave that threatened to drown her. She would surely welcome it. 
“It was a mistake.” Rhaenyra chimed in, trying to ease the fury in her husband. 
“Of course it was a fucking mistake.” Daemon bellowed. “How could you be so simple minded?”
She raised her head, staring plainly at the man before her. She’d heard about his tales before he had married her mother, the Prince of Flea Bottom, the many times he had been banished by the King and he had the audacity to shame her about who she bedded.
“Your hypocrisy is astounding.” 
“Don’t be cute.” Daemon scolded. He tightened his grip on his sword, his anger still burning. “I’m still going to kill him.”
“You are going to do no such thing. Rumors will spread if a guard mysteriously winds up murdered. We will solve this quietly and reassign him so he will never lay his eyes on you again and you will never tell a soul about what happened that night.” Rhaenyra countered, her eyes locked onto her daughter sternly.
She could only nod, the guilt she’d steadily buried in the face of her happiness, in the bliss she’d found with Aemond, now clawing its way forward, threatening to tear her apart piece by piece.
~~
“There you are.” Aemond greeted her with a smile, bending down to press a kiss to the top of her head. Their chambers had been empty when he returned from training and he knew the first place to look for her was Helaena’s chambers. 
Her heart skipped as she saw him, her mind racing, screaming at her to blurt out her secret, to spill everything that was weighing heavily on her, darkening her soul, but she found no words could escape her. 
She smiled stiffly, forcefully pushing past the overwhelming regret and sadness that threatened to choke her. 
“Are you finished with your training?”
He nodded as he took a seat next to her, his soft smile directed to the children who played at his feet. 
“I am and I suddenly found myself in desperate need of my wife’s company.” 
“Well, I am sorry to disappoint you, but we were just about to leave.”
“Leave? Where are you going?”
“We are going to the markets in Flea Bottom.” Helaena answered happily, oblivious to the way her brother’s expression darkened at her words. 
Aemond looked to her desperately, as if pleading with her to tell him his sister was mistaken, that she wasn’t going to roam the dangerous streets of Flea Bottom. 
She sighed, taking his hand in hers.
“She wishes to find gifts for the twins’ name day.” She spoke softly so the children would not hear. 
“Send servants.”
“She wants to pick them out herself.”
Aemond exhaled loudly and pinched the bridge of his nose. He startled when his wife stood from the couch and he reached out for her hand, but she was already walking away. 
“Come with us brother.” Helaena offered, oblivious to the torment unfurling in her protective sibling. “We will be taking guards, but we will be more protected with you at our side.” 
She smiled widely and linked her arm through Helaena’s, looking to her faithful husband.
“Well, you heard her.”
Aemond let out a long sigh, the thought of his beloved and his dear sister venturing down the dangerous streets of King’s Landing loathsome, but with one look at his wife’s stare, he was powerless to refuse her wishes. 
“Just for a short visit.”
The wide smile she gave in return was all he needed to stop himself from refusing the offer. 
He followed behind the two women, their group of guards walking behind him faithfully as they made their way into the city. 
Aemond kept his eyes fleeting between his sweet sister and his beloved wife as they perused each vendor they passed. He admired his wife as her face lit up at the sight of a beautiful trinket that had caught her eye. He admired the way she smiled at each vendor, politely asking them questions, dignifying their compliments about her beauty and kindness. 
She was truly a marvel, the most beautiful sight to behold. 
“Aemond, look, isn’t this beautiful?” Helaena called out to him, breaking him from his trance as she held up a butterfly figurine. “I think Jaehaera will find this absolutely divine, she’s always admiring the butterflies in the garden.”
“She will love it.” He assured her with a small smile, following her as the ever protective brother he was as they ventured to the next vendor, caught up with another bout of glasswork she had found. 
He felt as though he had only taken his eyes off his wife for a minute when the yelling started. A fight had broken out between two vendors and the crowd around them had responded to the sudden surge of violence with equal measure.
His arm immediately went around Helaena who cowered and covered her ears as the crowd yelled and became insufferably loud. He briefly made eye contact with a man in the crowd, the lowborn recognizing the pair of royals before him and, as most disparities of power result, decided to direct his anger towards them. 
Aemond guided Helaena into the capable hands of her guard as he unsheathed his sword menacingly, warning the crowd not to try their luck with the famed one-eyed dragon prince. 
The crowd soon became raucous, screaming, shouting and pushing at anyone they could get their hands onto. 
Aemond quickly spotted his sister being scurried away from the action, though his stomach dropped when he could not spot his wife. 
He yelled her name, the sound lost in the chaos of the riotous crowd. He pushed people out of the way carelessly, elbowing his way back to where he had last seen her. His heart dropped at the sight of her absence. He became more desperate, his voice sounding weak as he stood atop a vendor’s booth, trying to catch a glimpse of her.
The longer he did not see her, the more fear encased every inch of him.
~~
A muffled scream left her as a sturdy hand latched over her mouth, a strong arm wrapped around her waist as she was carried away from the action of the riots ensuing in the streets of King’s Landing. 
She hadn’t seen Helaena or Aemond. As soon as the fighting started she had been dragged away, seemingly against her will. She had thought it was a member of the King’s Guard but as the hand stayed steadily over her mouth and the painful arm carrying her through the streets of Flea Bottom refused to recede, she became more and more fearful of who had latched onto her.
The grip on her slackened and she quickly pushed her way out of the grip, her expression a mask of derision as she faced who had manhandled her so roughly. Her face fell, an icy feeling of dread spreading through her veins as she met the gaze of Ser Darick. 
He sneered and gripped her arm again, pulling her into his side. 
“Stop struggling, Princess, we don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.” He warned, though it sounded more like a threat as he pulled her along with him back to the Red Keep.
She remained still, allowing him to drag her forward, her face passive as they made their way through the halls of the Keep. She felt equal parts relief and dread as he forced her into her chambers. 
He slammed the door shut behind them, his face dark with anger, his hand still sturdily gripping her arm.
“You have brought me back, now leave.” She ordered harshly as she wrenched her arm out of his grip.
“Not until we talk.”
“We have nothing to talk about.” 
“You invited me into your bed, let me fuck you and then ignored me. I deserve to know why.” He argued angrily. Her face twisted with derision, at the reminder of that night she had acted so carelessly.
“I am truly sorry for how I treated you, it was wrong of me to take such liberties. But the night we had was simply a night of desperation. I am married now. I love my husband and you need to move on.” 
He scoffed, looking at her with nothing but derision.
“I don’t believe you.” 
“What?”
“That night. It didn’t mean nothing to you. It couldn’t have.” 
He stepped towards her, forcing her to take frantic steps backwards, but he was quicker. He gripped onto her shoulders, his touch strong and harsh. 
“Let go of me.” She hissed through gritted teeth, her heart racing, the beginnings of dread seeping through her, chilling the blood that ran through her veins. 
“I know you felt something that night. No one could fake that passion. I know you feel something for me. I know you have for years.” 
Her eyes widened, staring back at the man completely dumbfounded as she squirmed under his hands.
“You have gone mad.”
“I gave you pleasure that night, Princess. I made you cum under me. I made you moan for me.” He spoke earnestly, making her wince and shake her head, desperately trying to pry his hands off her.
“It meant nothing.”
“Of course it did!” 
“Get off!” She yelled as she pushed at his chest, causing him to stumble a few paces back. 
The door suddenly slammed open, her breathless and worried husband storming into their chambers. He seemed to deflate in relief when he saw her, every ounce of fear dissipating in a second, though when he noticed the guard in their chambers, his expression twisted into confusion.
“Are you hurt?” He asked worriedly, stepping towards her hurriedly, assuming she had been injured in the fight and that was the reason the guard was in the room with her alone. 
“No, I’m fine.” She assured him, her voice quivering. 
He grabbed her trembling hands in his, looking over her in concern briefly before his untrusting eye turned towards the guard who couldn’t take his eyes off her. 
The anger in his gaze did not go unnoticed by Aemond who stiffened, his hand reaching for the sword at his hip instinctively. 
The guard smiled sardonically to his wife, the sight setting the blood in his veins on fire. 
“Princess.” He bowed and turned on his heel, leaving the room. The fact that he did not address Aemond only angered him further. 
“Who was that?” Aemond questioned the second the door closed behind him. 
“He was my guard at Dragonstone.” She answered monotonously, her chest aching in fear as her waking nightmare unfurled before her.
“Did he hurt you?” Aemond’s anger flared as he looked at her questioningly, his gaze searching her frantically for any indication that her guard had stepped out of place. 
“No, he didn’t hurt me.” She spoke quietly, omitting mentioning the bruises she was sure would be blooming on her arm from his harsh grip.
He stared at her quizzically, knowing deep within him that something was wrong. The look on her face, one of muted horror, was striking and the fact that she couldn’t meet his eye had worry stirring within him so strongly his hand twitched towards his sword once again, ready to strike down the mysterious guard at her command. 
“What’s wrong?” 
“Nothing, I-”
“Yes, you’ve said that, but I do not believe you.” He interrupted, fighting between his confusion and his worry as she flinched at his harsh tone. He wanted to reach out to her, but something held him back, something he didn’t quite understand. 
She wrapped her arms around herself as she turned away from him. He called her name slowly, his critical eye never leaving her. 
“Who is he?”
“He is no one.”
His heart raced and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach as a multitude of answers swirled through his mind, none of them bringing any kind of peace.
“Do you love him?” He asked abruptly, jumping to the worst conclusion he could have possibly conjured.
“No, of course not!” She yelled, perturbed by the mere question. 
“Then why does he look at you as if you have a history?”
“I swear to you, Aemond, he is nothing to me.”
“So nothing has happened between you two?”
She remained quiet, her mind racing with a million different answers to the question, most lies, but only one truth, the one that spoke the loudest.
Her silence rang loud in the room and Aemond’s face shifted instantly, first to shock, then disbelief, then betrayal, and finally to fury. 
“You… you and him…” He startled slowly, trying to find the words to explain the blinding anger that overtook him so greatly it soon became hard to breathe.
The images that his mind created, visions of her tangled in the sheets with that man, her soft touch on his body, her sweet moans he relished given to him. 
“Aemond-”
“You fucked him?”
“Please-”
“Answer me. Did you fuck him?”
Her breath caught in her throat, her pulse pounding in her ears. Her world was crashing down around her and there was nothing she could do to stop it. 
“Yes.” She breathed out weakly.
A bitter laugh left him, a sound filled with so much anger it made her wince, tears beginning to burn in her eyes. 
“Aemond, please, I can explain-” She began as she approached him, reaching out for his hand, but he yanked his arm away from her, staring back at her with such vitriol it was as if a dagger had been lodged in her chest.
“Explain what? That you have been lying to me this entire time? That I married a whore?” 
Her eyes widened, his words striking her harshly. She had seen him angry before, she had seen him vindictive before, but it had never been directed at her, he had never spoken to her with such hatred, as if he were eager to hurt her. 
“It was before our marriage. I have never even looked at another man since I knew you were to be my husband.”
He shook his head, his chest heaving, an ache settling deep within him. Jealousy tore through him roughly, all he could think of was her tangled passionately with another man, and it made him see red. 
She reached for him again and he shut her down with a vicious scowl. 
“Don’t touch me.” 
She breathed heavily, her own anger beginning to rise at his stubborn refusal to listen to her. She knew if he ever found out it would cause a rift, but she had thought after the time they had spent together, that what they shared would be too special to let a mistake from the past rupture the beautiful love they had carved for themselves.
“Are you serious?” She snapped, her patience wearing thin the longer he directed his fury towards her. 
She thought of Daemon’s reaction, of Aemond’s disgusted scowl, and it made her seethe. If she had been a man no one would be batting an eye and she wanted to scream at how entirely unfair life was simply because of what lay between her legs.
“I had one night and I am penalized but you can do whatever you want with your body and I am just supposed to accept it. As if you haven’t followed Aegon to the brothels.”
“I am not my brother!” He yelled fiercely, his overt anger making her flinch. 
She stayed quiet, her anger receding as quick as it had come, leaving her with nothing but guilt. She knew she had crossed a line. 
Anybody could see how different the Targaryen brothers were, how much more accustomed to duty and honor Aemond was, how he refused to defile himself and shame his family as Aegon continued to do. 
It was deadly silent between them, neither one of them with anything productive or relatively polite to say to the other. 
With a clenched jaw, Aemond stormed out of the room without sparing her a look. 
His breath left him in uneven pants as he stormed down the hall, unaware of where he was headed. 
Images of her, his sweet wife, his beloved, wrapped up in another man’s arms replayed in his head torturously. He felt his eye sting with emotion he desperately attempted to hold at bay. 
He loved his wife, but this was agony. 
He loved her, but she had lied to him. 
He didn’t know what to make sense of the situation. He didn’t even know what to make sense of what he was feeling. 
He was at a loss as to what his marriage held. 
The only thing he could make out in the whirlwind of thoughts was pain. 
~~
He avoided her for the rest of the day and the next, choosing to sleep in his old chambers instead of returning to her. 
He couldn’t bear to face her, not after what he had yelled at her so callously, not after he had called her a whore, not after he had spent hours picturing her with that guard. 
It was agonizing to think of. 
He avoided dinner, giving flimsy excuses to the maids that dared to approach him. 
He sat out on the balcony of his old chambers, gazing out sightlessly into the night before him. The sound of his chamber doors opening had him rolling his eye, looking over his shoulder at the intruder with a scowl.
Aegon gave him an annoyed look. 
“You know you have mother worried sick? She sent me to find you, you twat.”
Aemond remained quiet as he turned to look back out onto the horizon. 
“What are you doing out here?” Aegon asked as he took a seat at his side, causing him to sigh loudly, not bothering to hide his disdain for his presence. “I figured you would be busy fucking your wife. You seem to do little else lately.”
Aemond’s jaw clenched as he steadily refused to meet his brother’s eyes.
“What? Has your paradise been ruined already?” Aegon joked, though when he received no reaction from Aemond, not even anger, he knew something was truly wrong. “What happened?” He asked, sounding more sincere than even he expected.
Aemond remained quiet for a long moment, dreading to say the words aloud, as if it made them more real than they already were. 
“She had a dalliance with a guard.”
“She has been unfaithful?”
“It was before she came back to King’s Landing, before the wedding.” He mumbled.
Aegon was quiet for a few seconds as he took in his brother’s words and eventually shrugged nonchalantly. 
“So?” 
Aemond glared coldly at his brother, the flippant response sparking his fury once more. 
“Finding out your wife let another man into her bed isn’t exactly comforting news.”
“It happened before she was your wife and, judging by how infatuated she seems with you, I’m willing to bet it happened before she knew you were the one she was to marry.” 
Aemond sighed loudly, no matter the circumstances, no matter whatever explanation he could think of, it did nothing to quell the green eyed beast that took over him. He had grown to deeply love his wife, the girl he had latched onto in childhood, the only one who seemed to root for him. 
The thought of her in the clutches of lust with anyone that wasn’t him was enough to incite his anger. 
He had never had a passionate, loving embrace. He certainly didn’t count what he endured on his thirteenth nameday, the moment that brought him nothing but shame. To think that she could so easily bring someone into her bed, have someone touch her lovingly, bring her pleasure, just as he could to her, stirred a fury in him he could barely comprehend.
“So, she betrayed you, what happens next?” Aegon asked, a smarmy smirk growing on his lips, striking Aemond’s anger before he could even speak of the depravities that mingled in his mind. “How about I take you down to the Silk Street and you can get back at her.”
In the blink of an eye, Aemond was on his feet, his face drawn tightly with fury, his angry glare locked onto his brother who laughed raucously at his reaction.
“Easy!” He yelled, shoving his brother’s hands off of him that gripped his shirt, ready to throttle him. “Gods, you have no sense of humor.”
“You know you don’t have to be here.” Aemond growled, sending his brother a final fierce scowl that silently threatened him of saying anything untoward about his marriage, before settling himself back in his seat. 
Aegon watched his brother carefully, noting the agony within him and he sighed.
“Look, you clearly care about her. She is your wife and you two have been able to build a bond which is more than many can say.”
Aemond looked at him, surprised by his honest words, surprised that he wasn’t slurring as he spoke. 
“Are you willing to give that up for a mistake she made before you loved each other?”
He looked taken aback at the question. The mere thought of letting her go was unfathomable. The thought was so horrible it turned his stomach more than his jealousy ever could. 
“I cannot stop picturing her with him.” He admitted quietly, almost shamefully. 
Aegon sighed, while he didn’t have anyone he loved as Aemond loved his wife, he had to admit, it didn't sound easy to picture the woman you loved in the arms of another man.
“So, let’s say you give up, what then? She marries someone else and warms their bed instead?” 
Aemond grit his teeth and sent a wicked glare to his brother who held his hands up in surrender. 
“Just think about it, brother. Get over it or let her go.” Aegon stated bluntly before parting from his side, leaving him to bury his head in his hands, a long slow breath falling past his lips. 
He didn’t want to let her go, he didn’t want to end what they had, he didn’t want to lose her. 
He breathed deeply again, forcing the green-eyed monster within him to retreat, to let him think clearly for once. 
He pictured her face, her teary eyes as she stared at him in disbelief as he threw horrible insults her way. He winced, his eye squeezing shut, as if the memory itself hurt him physically. 
He had to make this right. 
~~
He stepped into their shared chambers, his body rigid with nervous anticipation. He startled slightly as the sight of her was suddenly blocked, Baela having immediately got to her feet at the sight of him, standing in front of her half-sister protectively. 
“What do you think you’re doing here?” 
Aemond rolled his eye, sending a glare to the stubborn woman. 
“These are my chambers.” 
“Are they now? They haven’t seemed to be yours the past few days.” Baela responded sarcastically, forcing him to hold back a wince at the reminder of how he’d left his wife alone and worried for days on end in his fit of anger and jealousy.
He looked past Baela to find her looking back at him worriedly, wondering if this was the moment he left for good. The sight pained him deeply and he sighed heavily.
“I came here to talk.” He spoke softly, looking past her human shield, trying to appeal to his kind wife. 
“I think you’ve said plenty.” 
“Baela, it’s ok.” She said softly, hoping to stop her half-sister before she ended up in a physical fight with her husband. With how angry Baela had been on her behalf she knew it was certainly a possibility. 
Baela looked back at her questioningly, to which she nodded, silently assuring her she would be ok. 
With a sour expression, Baela left her side, her glare darkening as she passed the one eyed prince.
“If I see any more tears fall from her eyes, not even Vhagar will save you from me.” She threatened before stepping out of their chambers. 
Aemond let out a long breath. The sight of his wife upset cut him deeply, he knew he would let Baela inflict whatever pain she wanted on him if he hurt her any more. 
He looked at her, subtly wincing as he noticed she was looking away, refusing to meet his gaze. He moved forward slowly, never taking his eye off her as he approached. He sat on the opposite couch, making sure to leave space between them.
He didn’t think she’d be comfortable with anything else and he didn’t think he deserved to be so close to her, not after what he had said to her just days ago. 
“I’m sorry for what I said. I was angry and I took it out on you. You didn’t deserve my words.” He started quietly. 
She remained quiet, her gaze yet to meet his. The longer she didn’t look at him, the quicker his heart raced.
“I want to understand. I know you have no feelings for this man, but… it may kill me, but I want to know what happened between you two.”
“Why would that change things?” She asked stiffly.
“What?”
“You know I have no love for this man, you know I only care for you. So what more do you need to know?”
Aemond swallowed against the lump that grew in his throat. Aegon’s words came back to him, that her dalliance could have happened before she even knew they were to be married. 
“I need to know that I wasn’t the cause of this.”
She turned to him fully, her brows furrowed as she looked at him in bewilderment. She was sure a piece of her heart had shattered. He thought she had chosen to jump into bed with a guard because the news of her marriage to him was so horrible she was desperate to seek comfort. 
She let out a shaking breath and smoothed down the skirt of her dress. 
“Do you remember Lady Eleanor?”
Aemond looked confused for a moment at the sudden turn in conversation, but took a moment to think deeply before nodding. 
“She was your friend when we were children.” He answered softly. “I remember I could scarcely find any time with you without her presence.”
She smiled at the onslaught of memories that rushed through her mind, all hazed in the happiness of childhood innocence, though she was quick to be reminded of the grief that rose at the mere thought of her old friend. 
“She was married off to a Tully Lord. The man was older than her father. His past three wives all died mysteriously, no one dared to question why.” She explained stiffly. “I could tell from her letters that she wasn’t happy.”
Aemond watched her, frowning slightly at the dull tone of her voice, of the tortured look in her eyes, as if she was recounting something too painful to ever speak of again. He sat up straighter, longing to reach out to her, but he held back, suddenly reminding himself of the rift between them. 
“She birthed him a daughter, just as his previous wives had. The next day they found her body by the river.” She spoke quietly, her voice growing hoarse with emotion. “They could barely recognize her, she was black and blue, every bone broken by his hands.”
Aemond shifted in his seat, an unsettled feeling growing within him. He remembered the annoying little girl who followed his niece around and now felt nothing but horror at the memory of her. 
“Her husband faced no punishment. No one dared to question why yet another young girl was dead. I don’t even know what happened to the babe, if she-” She stopped abruptly, unable to finish the thought. 
Her vision blurred with tears which only began to steadily slip down her cheeks as she felt his hand take hers, their fingers intertwining. 
“His name was in consideration for my hand in marriage.” She admitted, finally bringing her gaze to reach her husband’s, immediately noticing the dread that shrouded him.
Despite the fact that they were married and had been for months, the mere prospect of her being forced into marriage with a man so barbaric left him feeling sick. 
She let out a shaking breath, pulling her hand from his as she wiped her tears furiously, forcing her expression into a mask of indifference, refusing to show him her weakness. 
“I’m sure that changes nothing for you, but I figured you should know.” She spoke hoarsely. “My night with Ser Darick meant nothing. I had no idea you were my betrothed. I thought I’d have one more night for myself before I was forced to be a silent, battered wife who would wind up dead in a matter of months.”
Aemond exhaled shakily, his gaze watching her curiously. Her sadness cut him deeply and while he could never understand the fear she felt, the fear almost every woman in the realm faced at the prospect of marriage, he couldn’t help but ache for her, for what she feared. 
The thought of her so scared, resigning herself to be abused, forced into a marriage with a man that would treat her horribly, had his hands clenching into fists, forcing back the desire to draw blood from men that weren’t even present.
“I’m sorry.” She choked out, her teary eyes finally meeting his, causing the lump in his throat to swell.
“You don’t need to apologize.”
“No, I do. I betrayed you. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I acted as nothing more than a lowly street whore.” 
Aemond clenched his jaw, a flash of pain striking him deeply. His previous words he had thrown at her in anger caught up to him, hurting him as if they had been directed at himself. The guilt that overcame him was overpowering, enough to knock him off kilter, enough to haunt him for the rest of his life.
“I didn’t mean it.” He told her, his voice weak, portraying his pain.
“You said it.” 
His chest ached yet again at the sadness in her voice, her teary eyed gaze hurting him like a sword to the heart. 
“I was angry and I didn’t mean a word of what I said. I let my jealousy rule me.” He explained to her, reaching out to take her hand in his again. “But you mean more to me than my anger, you mean more to me than a single mistake.”
Her eyes narrowed, derision crossing her features, as if she didn’t believe him, as if his forgiveness was too good to be true. As she shook her head, he felt his heart crack yet again. 
“You’ve forced yourself to feel nothing but derision for me for years, I’m sure you can do it again.” She spoke tersely, her eyes betraying her hurt as they brimmed with tears. “I’ll tell my mother we wish for an annulment.”
“Stop.” He demanded angrily, looking at her with barely contained hurt.
“I’m sure your mother will be thrilled.”
“Love, please-”
“You can be married to a pure maiden within the next moon.”
“Stop!” He yelled, finally cutting off her frantic rambles. She looked at him with wide, tearful eyes, the sight causing his chest to hurt in ways he couldn’t even fathom. 
He breathed heavily for a moment, allowing his anger to fade. 
“I won’t let you end this. I care about you too much to let you go.” 
Her heart jumped at his words, her emotions beginning to stir once again. She let out a trembling breath, a glaringly bitter thought in her head she couldn’t move past from.
“Please, do not hate me for asking…” She started quietly, swallowing thickly as she looked to him hesitantly “Do you forgive me because you wish for power? Because you will one day be consort, because your heir will sit the throne?”
Aemond tensed, his gaze full of bewilderment. He had to admit, maybe in the beginning, the prospect of being consort enticed him, but now, it wasn’t even a thought in his head.
It hadn’t been since the moment she stepped out of that carriage and their eyes met for the first time in years. 
“I forgive you because I love you.” Aemond answered, as if it was the most simple explanation he could have given. 
Her breath caught in her throat, completely taken aback by his admission, one he gave freely, the genuine look in his eye making her crumble within. 
“You love me?” She choked out and he smiled sadly, the sight of her reluctance to believe it causing the ache in his chest to throb once more. He moved to sit closer to her, taking her hand in his.
“I have loved you for a long time. Much longer than I would like to admit.” He spoke with a soft laugh. “The things you did for me in our childhood…” He paused, taking in a deep breath. “Sometimes it felt like you were the only one who cared.”
She frowned, her hand holding his tightly, her heart aching to hear him so vulnerable.
“I could never turn my back on you. I could never let you walk away from our marriage, not for anything.” 
He was more than surprised when her lips descended on his with a fierce kiss, one that was filled with hunger, longing, and relief. He immediately wrapped his arms around her, responding to her kiss with equal fervor, moaning against her as her hands winded through his hair, the gesture so intimate, so familiar to their last months together. 
They pulled away, breathing heavily. 
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She whispered, sounding pained, as if she would have to repent for his forgiveness for the rest of her life. 
He shook his head and held her tighter. He leaned his forehead against hers, swallowing thickly against the small ounce of doubt that creeped within him.
“He truly means nothing to you?”
She seemed pained by his question, her expression twisting as she placed her hand against his cheek as she looked at him with reverence. 
“He is nothing to me. I have not had a single thought of him since I’ve loved you.” 
He perked up, his wide eye searching hers, as if looking for any sign of dishonesty. But he found none. 
He wouldn’t, for she loved him just as he loved her. 
He crashed his lips to hers, his hands holding her tightly as he pulled her onto his lap, eager to place his touch upon her and equally as eager for her greedy hands to bestow their pleasure upon him. 
He preened under her gentle caresses, her hardened tugs at his hair, her eager hips that grinded against his. He longed for everything she was willing to give him. 
He could feel the jealousy that had blinded him, that green-eyed monster that threatened to ruin it all, fade to nothing while he was in her arms. 
He would not let a single mistake tear apart what they had, what had been growing since their childhood. 
He loved her and she loved him. 
It was all he needed.
~~
They mended back together with ease. With Ser Darick transferred, no longer a glaring reminder of her indiscretion, they were able to put the incident past them. 
Her brothers questioned what had happened, why there seemed to be a rift in her marriage then, as quickly as it had come, disappeared as she and her husband soon proved themselves as a united front, more infatuated with each other than ever. 
She didn’t give them any answers. She only assured them she was happy, that Aemond treated her well and that their marriage was a success. 
They were back to the blissful, wonderstruck and obsessed couple they had been before her secret had been revealed. 
Until the dinner for the King’s nameday. 
Her arm was locked with her husband’s as they stepped into the dining hall, their smiles mirroring each other as they spoke quietly. 
Aemond suddenly stopped in his tracks, his body becoming stiff as stone. She looked up at him, her smile falling at the sight of the murderous rage in his eye. 
She followed his gaze and paled instantly, her stomach twisting with fear as she found Ser Darick’s smirking face staring back at her. She swallowed against the lump that grew in her throat and held tighter to Aemond’s arm. 
“Let’s sit.” She spoke quietly, having to basically drag him along with her to take their seats at the table. 
Aemond’s glare remained on the man as he took his seat, his eye cold and unflinching. His wife had told him about that day the guard confronted her, explaining his strange possessiveness, the harsh way he held her. 
He wanted to kill the guard the second he saw the bruises on her arms, but she held onto him tightly, begging him not to leave her alone, begging him to drop the matter completely. 
She so desperately wanted to forget the entire thing and she knew if Aemond killed him, it would invite questions she dreaded to answer. 
The fury he felt at the sight of her bruises, at how scared she had been because of that guard, hadn’t left him. He had kissed every mark on her body, though it did little to soothe the storm inside of him, the desire to draw blood from the man that dared to hurt her. 
His fingers tapped erratically atop the table, his deadly scowl never wavering from the man who smugly smirked back at him, inciting his rage. 
Her hand covered his, startling him out of his haze of anger. He looked over at her and she gave him a weak smile, her eyes pleading with him to not act on his anger. There was a look of regret in her gaze, as her guilt returned tenfold, as if she were the one angering him. 
The sight tore his anger away in an instant and he intertwined their fingers, squeezing her hand comfortingly, silently assuring her, promising her he wasn’t upset with her, that her guilt was for naught. 
“I love you.” She mouthed to him, wanting to remind him in the face of her dreaded mistake and he smiled, mouthing the words back to her. 
The days they had spent together over the past weeks were enough to heal him of the fierce jealousy that had wracked him at the news of her night with her guard. She had spent night after night worshiping him, bestowing pleasure upon him that left his mind spinning, proving to him over and over again that he was the only one she wanted, he was the only one she had eyes for, and he was the only one she would pleasure so intently. 
Their thoughts of that damned guard were gone swiftly as the King was carried into the room, the sight of his decaying and weak body stealing their attention completely. 
King Viserys smiled, a sad yet relieved looking gesture as he looked at the table full of his family, smiling faces around him, easy conversation flowing, no sight of derision or hatred he had seen just months ago that had broken his heart. 
He raised his cup of wine with a shaking hand. 
“A toast to my family.” He began with a hoarse voice. “To my daughter, Rhaenyra, who will make a fine Queen. And to my dear grandchild.”
She perked up at the sound of her name, seemingly growing bashful under the King’s eye. 
“My beautiful darling and my dear son. May your union be fruitful and prosper with a love the realm has not yet seen.” Viserys toasted them with a warm smile. “My dear you will make a wonderful Queen after your mother. You will be a fair, peaceful ruler and a wonderful mother when the time comes.”
A bitter scoff echoed through the room, causing everyone to tense, their gazes searching over the faces of those present to find the culprit. 
Her throat went dry, embarrassment washing over her as she noticed Ser Darick rolling his eyes. Beside her, Aemond stiffened, the murderous glare glinting in his eye once again. He gripped the arms of the chair he sat on, mere seconds away from getting to his feet to beat the guard into oblivion. 
“Is there a problem, Ser?” The King questioned, looking at the guard incredulously. 
Ser Darick didn’t even seem intimidated to have the attention of the most powerful man in Westeros. He seemed to preen under all their gazes, straightening his shoulders as if he were of importance. 
“Apologies for my interruption, Your Grace.” The guard began, his sickly sweet smile never wavering as his eyes landed back on the culprit of his anger, the shaken girl who seemed to shrink under his harsh gaze. 
Aemond clenched his jaw, his hand twitching, desperate to reach for the dagger at his hip.
“You are kind to dole out praises to a whore.” 
Chaos erupted in a matter of seconds. Viserys’ face darkened and he struggled to get to his feet, his voice hoarse as he called for his guards to seize Ser Darick. 
Daemon sprung to his feet, kicking his chair out of the way, his expression dark and full of hatred as he approached the dead man walking, swiftly pulling the sword from his hip. 
But it was Aemond that acted quickest. 
He ignored his wife’s warning as he got to his feet with agile precision, his steps heavy as he marched his way toward the guard. He pulled the dagger from his belt, his teeth grit as he stared the man down with nothing but pure hatred. 
With a swift kick to Ser Darick's hand, Aemond disarmed him before he could pull his sword. Aemond gripped the front of his armor, dragging him forward harshly and swiftly plunged his dagger into the man’s neck without hesitation. 
Gasps and screams sounded behind him at the violent display, but he paid no mind to it. 
He watched with satisfaction as the man’s eyes went dull, the life leaving him slowly as he bled out, finally erasing the smug smile from his face. 
He eased his grip, letting him drop to the floor. 
He turned, coming face to face with Daemon, who had his sword drawn and at the ready. His uncle eyed the dead guard at their feet, with slight disdain for the mere fact that he hadn’t been the one to end his life, before slowly raising his gaze to him, staring at him for a long moment before nodding, satisfaction gleaming in his eyes. 
Aemond nodded back, a dark and twisted respect blooming between them in that moment. 
He turned, ignoring the chaos that continued as his family watched on in horror and confusion, a mix of questions, admonishments him for his brashness, praises for his actions, but he heard none of it.
He stepped towards his trembling wife and quickly guided her into his arms, holding her tightly. 
Her eyes were wide, shocked by the violent display, though she couldn’t deny the immediate relief that coursed through her. 
“Thank you.” She whispered shakily.
Aemond pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his arms tightening around her, his silent promise to always protect her. 
~~
Hope you enjoy and sorry it's so long, I can't stop myself xx
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qadirvyrotek · 10 months
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inklore · 3 months
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does it feel good?
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— qimir x f!reader
premise: he is your beginning, the whole reason you have made peace with the darkness inside your head, and you know someday he may become your end. whether by his saber or by him finally consuming completely. you welcome both.
contents: established master x acolyte dynamics, shared force bond, unprotected p in v, foreplay, light choking, biting, scars and burn marks mentioned, death, teasing, over stimulation | wc: 2.7k+
note: i love that we all saw the water scene and went yeah that's for the smut writers. glad we are collectively going insane over this man.
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The moons paint the water in a shimmering light that bathes its surface in sapphire that fades to the deepest of blacks the longer you stare into it. The waves that hit against the ragged stones are like a siren call to your aching body. 
Your muscles are still tight and coiled from earlier. Your molars grind together when you lift your arms to pull off your ruined and stained clothes. A burning sensation felt through your body as the fabric covering your torso moved against every burn, cut, and bruise you had acquired tonight. 
You didn’t stop by a reflective surface to check how many battle scars you’d earned. Badges of honor. More wounds worn like metals placed on your neck by a pleased master. Wounds, he’ll help you heal, stitch up, seal with the press of his palm to the tattered skin—stolen supplies from planets you can’t remember the name of with faces you can only remember the dead eyes of, used on the ones that don’t close up right.
The moonlight makes them look less serious. The illumination colored the dried blood and tissue into something misty. Almost tantalizing to the eye. Unlike the light of day, where you’re sure it will look less glamorizing. The ugly truth of the way your skin is going to bubble up and mold over to protect itself once the healing process begins is less glaring in this hue. 
Your toe dips into the water. It’s always warmer than you think it to be. Always welcoming you in like it’s been waiting for you to return. Waiting to wash away the grim and blood that seemed more permanent on your skin than your own flesh. 
You wade at the edge for a bit, pushing around the water with your feet. The water wading at your ankles. 
The ringing hasn’t stopped. 
It rarely does until you’ve closed your eyes and settled it. Until your body is less taut, muscles released from the on switch of fight. The power inside your veins thrumming like a wasp trying to free itself from the tissue of your bones. 
As if it had gotten stuck in there and couldn’t find its way out. Refusing to settle down or leave until you’ve maimed, avenged, and proved yourself—leaving your body and muscles in their current state. 
You’re not worried about something being in the water. If there were, you would have been able to feel it. Sense it’s beating heart and the danger of allowing it to keep beating. You’re alone as you walk further into the water, sinking into it’s depths until your body is completely engulfed. Your neck and head the only things going untouched. 
The freshly made badges on your skin burn when you scrub your thumb along the edges of them. Specks of dried blood float along the surface of the water before they’re lost to the darkness below. 
Amongst the ringing in your head, you can hear the screams of anger that tore from your lungs when the Jedi had gotten the upper hand. The green of his saber leaving red against your skin. Making your moves turn from confident to something rage fueled. 
Somewhere among the ringing, you know his scream is in there. Amongst the many cries for help and cracking bones. 
They always linger. Always hold on like a power pack to your dark side. 
You know your body won’t fully relax until you’ve stopped the ringing, though. You didn’t believe in blessings or curses. Bad fortune or good. Everyone’s life ended the same way. If you did believe in the farce, you would think the ringing that goes from the base of your skull to the drums of your ears was a curse. 
A quiet mind is a blessing. 
The buzz of the force within you too heady when you're in the throes of battle. War. Darkness. It’s always been like that. Even before him. 
It’s only gotten worse with him beside you. Like the bond the two of you had opened too much too deep and you feel everything more clearly. More unfortunately. 
He taught you how to silence it. To reign it in after the adrenaline and pace of your heart slowed. 
There were still things you had to learn. Things you were kept from knowing by your old master, the one who only saw one way to wield your power. A cowardly excuse for a master whose burial you wish you could have witnessed. 
It’s aggravating, almost. Anger inducing for sure. 
Someone not believing you are capable of knowing the truth about the power you wield. It’s criminal to not allow someone to be their true self all because of a set of rules that only benefited one group of people. One way of living, when there were so many. 
Your aggravation has faded by now. The anger is still there and buzzes through you. But you no longer feel like a part of you has been held back. Stunted and aching like your chest had for years—as if a rock had found itself in the base of your heart and took up rent there—until Qimir showed you the way. 
Your true self. 
Your full potential and all you were capable of. 
All that had been inside of you, held back for so long. 
Filling your lungs with air, you sink yourself under the water and hold yourself there. Eyes closing as you center yourself. Slow the wasp in your marrow to something dull. Stop the ringing in your ears until all you can hear is the hum of the water hitting the rock above the surface. 
Just you and the force. 
Just you and the water. 
Until you feel him. 
Until he’s there inside your mind.
Until you feel a hand at the base of your skull, fingertips brushing at the nape of your neck to let you know he’s not just in your head. He’s beside you.
Your eyes meet once you’ve filled your lungs with air again, and you wipe the water droplets from your lids. 
You watch him splash water against his neck, running the palm of his hand along the dirt and grime that clings to his skin. Cleaning himself of any traces of the deaths the two of you have left in your wake tonight. 
His calm demeanor always pulls you back from the edge. Always brings a calmness to your blood. To the beating of your heart. Even when shit has gone haywire, his demeanor never switches up. Never slips into something that could be labeled as sloppy or driven by anything other than who he truly is. What he’s made of. 
His calm seeping through your shared bond until you have no choice but to relax.
The handful of times you’ve seen that calmness turn into something animalistic, it’s made you envious, on the same hand, it’s made the space between your thighs burn. 
“You did well tonight.” 
“The smell of my burning flesh still clinging to my senses says differently.” 
The corner of his mouth lifts in amusement, “you did well.” He repeats. Ducks his head forward to wet his hair. His fingers running through the strands, droplets falling down his face. Your eyes follow them all the way down the column of his neck to his chiseled collar bones. 
It doesn’t take one wielding the force to know what your mind is projecting. Doesn’t matter that the two of you share a part of your brain. The thoughts of past nights spent together, Qimir teaching you the ways desire can be wielded and used to your advantage—or disadvantage, depending on how you look at it. 
Your face turns from him. Eyes moving up to the moon. 
Trying to hold back your thoughts the way he taught you. Even if it is futile against him.
“How do you feel?” 
Has the ringing stopped, Is what he’s really asking. Do you need another lesson? Are you still weakened by that ailment? That curse? 
Except he wouldn’t be as dramatic as that. Not with this. Not ever. Especially when it came to your power. Your capabilities. The perfect little acolyte he’s trained you to be. 
“Fine.” Your answer clipped, honest. Because you are fine, and your stubbornness will not allow you to let this turn into another lesson about you not being able to be as calm and collected as he is. No shadows of doubt lingering over who he truly is. His purpose. His wants. His desires. His darkness. 
He’s always been able to read right through you, though. Even without taking up space in your being. The force has little to do with that fact. 
You were never afraid of the darkness that lived inside of you. Never afraid of the power you could wield and the lives you could take. 
The only time you’ve felt true fear is being seen. 
Accepted. 
The potential to let someone of importance down and not withhold your end of a deal you’ve inked your name in blood just to be beside. To prove yourself to someone who’s your equal. Another half of your very being.
His face shows nothing but that calm amusement when he wades behind you. His fingers moving against your skin in an act to rid you of the spots of dirt you’ve missed on your neck and shoulders. 
Swallowing hard when his fingers scrape against past scars, he lingers there for a beat. Running the pad of them against the raised skin. A whisper in your head. 
You heal beautifully.
It’s a softness you’d never thought him to be capable of when you found out who he truly was. The man behind the mask. Even if the unmasking had been done unintentionally. 
It’s not softness you feel from his touch, though. No, his touch eases the strain in your muscles, only to gather itself in your belly. Your body burning with anticipation, knowing how this goes. 
How you’re rewarded when you impress him. 
When you do as you are told, your master is ever the generous one. 
“You’ve proven yourself tonight.” His lips brush against the tip of your spine, “killing without a weapon, not stopping until you were the last one standing. Freeing yourself from the ones who held you back for so long.” Your breath hitches in the back of your throat when his mouth presses down on that same spot at the beginning of your spine. 
A hand snaking around your throat, his palm wet and warm against your collarbones as he pulls your neck at just the right angle to have you looking at him. 
“Did it feel good?” 
“Yes.” You swallow, wrap your fingers around his wrist. “It always does.” You whisper, your eyes flashing down to the upturn of his lips. 
His nose runs along your cheek to your temple, his eyes closed, inhaling you. “I can always smell it. When you let yourself become one with the darkness. Right before you take a life.” His thumb runs a circle against the vein, which tells him the pace of your heart has picked up. As if he’d need it to know, as if the two of you don’t share something that links you completely to the other. “It still lingers. It’s distracting.” 
It’s not a question, but you nod. Your eyes flutter when he pushes his hips forward, and the hardness of his cock moves against your ass. 
He doesn’t ask permission, the two of you knowing you’re past such kindnesses, when his hand cups your mound. He knows what your body needs right now. What it wants, what it’s expecting. He can feel it too. His index and middle fingers spread your pussy, giving him access to that pleasure point on your body that only he knows how to stroke just right to have you pliant and singing for him. 
As if you were not already devoted to him. As if he were not your reason for being.
He’s your beginning, and you have no doubt he will be your end if it comes to it. 
The pad of his finger circles your clit in that slow way that lets you know he’s going to take his time with you. Going to drain every last bit of strain and tightness from your muscles, pushing that buzz between your legs and making him the only sound in your head—until he thinks you have had enough. 
Until your reward is good enough for him to be satisfied with how you took it. Until he knows your mind is back where it needs to be—here, with him. 
His mouth meets the hand at your throat, his teeth sinking into the parts his fingers aren’t pressing into. “You’re everything I could have hoped for.” His tongue laps against your pulse.
Perfect.
You may never know if he actually means the words; you can only feel what he allows you to feel through your shared connection. He’s better at blocking than you. But he knows you need to hear these praises. Knows how good and pliable it will make you. His words stoke the fire inside your soul that burns through your darkness. That allows you to become completely consumed by him and the desire to be on this side. 
Of being free. 
What he does allow you to feel lets you know there is some truth somewhere in there. You can feel it in how hard his cock thrusts against your ass when your body pushes back into him. You can feel it in the way his thoughts stream through your mind. 
So obedient.
Your cunt’s so greedy for me.
You’re mine.
The skin on your fingers stings from gripping the rocks in front of you. The pain you should feel from the heel of your palm digging into the jagged stones, lost in the haze of pleasure consuming your body. 
Qimir consuming every last part of your being. 
Taking over every dark corner of your mind and not letting you feel or hear anything but him.
Your moans become more shaky, your chest heaving as you pant and curse. The weight of the finger on your clit grows heavier, faster, deliriously good the more you near your orgasm. 
Your lips are moving in inaudible words. Words he understands, making him grin against your jaw. 
“You want my cock tonight?” You know he’s read your mind, or rather, your body. Know he can feel what you desire and crave. What your minds begging him for. “Hmm, do you think you’re deserving of that big of a prize? You spill a little blood, and suddenly you’re greedy.” He hums, “you did well. Do you think you deserve it, though? No?” 
Heat burns your cheeks; his chuckle makes you sob into the night air. The stubbornness to please and be as perfect as your counterpart wants you to be is not in favor of the mounting pressure that’s building in your pussy right now. 
“I already think you’re perfect; don’t push it.” His foot pushes easily at your ankles. Your thighs spread enough for the head of his cock to press against your entrance and thrust inside. 
“Mmm,” you whine at the stretch. Your eyes fluttering closed at your swollen walls being filled. Walls that tighten around him as he sets a fast pace. Matching the rhythm and stroke of his fingers. Sending your body on an overwhelming precipice of a carnal need to come. 
The heaviness of his breath as he says your name against your skin—the quick flashes of the pleasure he feels from being inside of you—is what finally sends you over the edge. 
Your orgasm rocking through you like a storm. Your body shaking against him, walls fluttering and squeezing around his cock, making him groan. Your throat raw and scratchy from the noise that’s pulled up from your lungs when everything in your body is set completely aflame. 
Your hand falling from the rocks, and pressing your nails into his wrist, trying to pull his hand from between your thighs. The over-stimulation of his finger moving against your clit even after your orgasm has passed makes you cry out and ripple the water around the two of you as you squirm. 
The tip of his cock hits that spot inside you that makes your vision go white. That falters your fight against his torment. 
“You can do better than one. You deserve it, don’t you?”
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