#cmon... this is warhammer !!

[ghostinthegallery]

Traitor Vulkan would make for great tragedy because he first believes Horus is a noble rebel, but when he realizes that Hours is following the Chaos Gods, who are no better than the Emperor of Mankind; Vulkan says 'Screw that, I'm not trading one tyrant for another' and forms an Independant faction.

Exactly! Double the betrayal, double the doubts, double the struggle of trying to avoid becoming the monster Vulkan believes himself to be. But in the end he must embrace that monstrousness, because he's the only one actually trying to protect human beings. Maybe even other forms of life as he learns about the universe. They need a defender, and it takes a monster to fight monsters.

And then you can have some Lamenters-level angst stories of Salamanders sacrificing themselves for a universe that has rejected them, but they persevere because it's right. They may be monsters, but they are true to themselves and the ideals their father is meant to embody.

And both the Emperor and Horus get to deal with the fact that the best and kindest of their family rejected them both. Sure, they will outwardly call Vulkan weak or a coward or a fool, and probably on some level believe those things. But on another level they'll know that rejection means they've been in the wrong this whole time. It's just too late to back down.

[ladlefox]

The absolute insanity of people being upset that a codex said the first 10,000 "sons" is getting retconned is fucking baffling. If there are other things saying more please share but I have only seen that so far. But if not, please enlighten me how changing "sons" to "children" is ruining the hobby

[btown-mayor]

Here's a commission I finished up for a client! They asked me to paint up three minis from @cmongames Marvel Zombies Game. First one up is Magneto from the X-Men Expansion. I loved how the red came out. The sculpt is great! Swipe for some WIP shots as well.

[tlgtw]

Space Marine 2 = 7/10. It's sounds are great but the weapons are underpowered and the AI companions are legitimately worthless. Playing on Hard Mode was fucking perfect but I could not defend anything while my two knucklehead NPCs literally stood around doing nothing and all the ranged enemies aimed solely at me. Normal mode is too easy :(

I swear on my eyeballs there's a legit cooldown on attacking for the companion AIs. I am positive this is deliberate to force players towards playing in multiplayer.

Satan made this game.

In conclusion, Space Marine 2's campaign is still not better than Titanfall 2's campaign. One of many, sad to see.

[minweber]

man if saw all those robots with rules for 40k nobody would be able to stop me

[dunewizard]

... there are more of you. .... what should we add to our ranks with our newfound power...?

Making an army, I appreciate any assistance.

1 like = 1 Goblin

1 reblog = 1 Bugbear

1 reply = 1 Wargrider (goblin)

[sebille]

Every time i try to recommend people wh40k content i feel like an insane person.

Cmon dude just read the first 5 books of this series of 64 books. But actually a lot of them are supposedly very good reads if you want more insight into certain characters. And OF COURSE you need to read the siege of Terra. Which is 7 books. Because you CANNOT miss out on "The end and the death 1-3". Those books have some of the most important and iconic 40k events that Warhammer 40k has to offer. Also Sanguinius is so cool and beautiful in it. And everyone dies. Also fuck Erebus.

And like we can't miss out on the wh40k series that all give you insight into the 40k world!! World building, baby!

Oh and also please play the games. Rogue trader is a 50 plus hour time sink but that's okay, right? Rogue traders are an important part of the lore.

But we can't forget about the poster boys! The boys in blue! The smurfs! Play space marine 1 and 2, aka a 24ish hour in total game time.

Oh and of course we can forget about the awful movie! It sucks! But the soundtrack is cool! Don't watch it maybe watch it mayyyybe.

Etc.

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

everyone always focuses on slaanesh as the god of fuckin but cmon. the great excesses of she who thirsts come in many forms. he's the god of capitalist greed, motivated only by a need for More Growth. she's the god of massive feasts organized by the generous king for his servants. he's the god of pulling an all nighter of gaming. adhd in the warhammer universe could plausibly be a side effect of her existence

[quietbluejay]

Angel Exterminatus Take 2 #17

on this episode of bluejay reads warhammer: the word undulation is beginning to lose all meaning to me, there is a sad lack of dreadnought mud wrestling, Perturabo and Fulgrim day drink, and the game of hot potato begins

dreamtime!

"he was a man who lived for peace, not war"

TemplarWarden: Tbf, considering how he thinks human wave tactics and decimation are good ideas. He isn't particularly good at war. And considering how his planet rebelled, he wasn't good a peace either.

the city is full of all the buildings he designed

it's kind of sad given that…literally everything he did was in the complete opposite direction than this he theoretically cares about people but when it comes to the actual, real, physical people in his life that he has to interact with…

Sky: Perturabo wants to be loved, but he doesn’t even love himself, so

TemplarWarden: Like if there's one thing I've noticed this book hammer home is yeah, he's just on big tragic flaw.

also like people asked him multiple times to make his stuff!!! but he always refuses because it won't ever be the perfect vision he has in his head there will never be that perfect moment to start

and man it is relatable

i've been fairly transparent that he reminds me of my younger self but most people actually grow out of it now granted, the great crusade is basically the complete opposite of a positive character development incubator actually wait i have a pithy phrase that sums things up "the perfect is the enemy of the good" actually huh that kind of fits the book in general given the EC

TemplarWarden: Yeah I'm looking at this and the match up does work and if he were less grumpy guts a Slanneshi Perturabo would be a interesting take. Bluejay: au where perturabo picks up the laer sword starts designing escher architecture TemplarWarden: it's super effective! Bluejay: perturabo i think would be even more vulnerable to not even examining the voice in his head

and now, perturabo in a nutshell

he ends up at a square with a statue eventually and Fulgrim is there, sitting at a table in front of a bistro YES IT ACTUALLY USES THE TERM BISTRO Fulgrim: cmon have a drink with me

day drinking, tsk tsk

even in his perfect vision he can't actually do something he wants to do well it's because a large part of him doesn't actually want fulgrim dead what he wants is for them to actually get along and for fulgrim to be normal again

TemplarWarden:

Perturabo: we should be settling this like warriors Fulgrim: it's your dream and you want to be diplomats, so we're settling this with words why does Fulgrim even need to do this? why does Fulgrim even want to do this?

TemplarWarden: Because Fulgrim is extra? I mean the whole thing is a bit silly but could theoretical be handwaved as 'being extra is a Slanneshi thing'

Perturabo: it's too late for diplomacy Fulgrim: is it tho? idk this city is pretty based, i guess i underestimated you

Perturabo: if i give it to you, i'll die again i'm kind of like, why doesn't Fulgrim grab it in the real world, they're standing like face to face Perturabo's severely drained and also has a bad wound Fulgrim: don't you think your life is a good price to pay for Olympia's rebirth?

Fulgrim: well i changed my mind ^_^ Fulgrim: anyways give me the stone or don't, i don't care, i can do it without you Perturabo: press x to doubt

arm grab! take a shot!

because it's absolution that he needs and there's nothing in the warhammer universe that can give him that, lol and we're back to the physical world dream time is over and- FULGRIM IS NAKED??? WHAT??? HOW DID I MISS THAT WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN WHY WHY IS HE NAKED when did he even have time to take his armour off???

im laughing helplessly here okay i need to go back and figure this out okay so when he floats up, he's wearing armour

TemplarWarden: presumably when they started cutting him open

wait i think i got it??? maybe???

i'm guessing though it wasn't really clear that it happened here somehow???

TemplarWarden: he never was wearing armour in the first place

wait it said:

so he's got armor a paragraph before he pulls an obi-wan

TemplarWarden: Shed it like he shed a skin… snaaaake refence anyway I'm full of caffeine.

i was just assuming eidolon was stabbing through the armour NO WAIT

HE IS WEARING ARMOR LOOK

TemplarWarden: Now I'm really confused. Bluejay: me too Checkerheart: "Canon can be whatever I want it to be" TemplarWarden: So while in the fairy dust dream he got naked? Fulgrim please stop being… Bluejay: I guess or like maybe his body is swelling maybe the armor is coming off??? dissolving???? Sky: Fulgrim's armour is like Schrodinger's cat Does it exist? Does it not? Who knows

okay back to the present wait WHY DID YOU NEED TO SPECIFY NAKED AND SQUIRMING WHY so cursed

TemplarWarden: Could've been naked and undulating. I'm not sure which is worse. Bluejay: I'd prefer the undulating

a rare win for perturabo Fulgrim: nooooooo HOWEVER, unfortunately IT JUST KEEPS GOING

yes it's the iron hands bird which did this for ????? reasons

and now it's time for a game of hot potato

TemplarWarden: they literally have an idiot ball

Iron Hands: it's time for us to get involved in the plot!!

TemplarWarden: This is the sad kind of funny because he didn't even know that the Iron Hands made cool things too then again, no one know about the Iron Hands Bluejay: no one knows what the iron hands want to build no one ever cared to ask

okay for the first time in my life i'm rooting for someone to shoot a bird

over to Falk POV and he sees the Eldar with the Iron Hands and he's identical looking to their Eldar you know, the one Perturabo killed

Falk: no time to worry about this now, gotta protect Perturabo

the part that confuses me is that they had to get all the way through the labyrinth but i guess the iron hands somehow got through the labyrinth too the super special one fulgrim needed perturabo to get into iron hands: what, like it's hard?

maybe the labyrinth stopped working when fulgrim drained the planet? why not the Emperor's Children are attacking the Iron Warriors much to Falk's irritation Falk punches right through the chest of one of them because i guess he somehow picked up a power fist at some point

they aren't actually doing anything to perturabo right now, chill Falk is supremely frustrated by the state of things as it's 3-way free for all

THE SKULL has powers many consider to be…unnatural seriously though, wtf

you look into the warp -> you see THE SKULL -> you stop looking into the warp -> you see THE SKULL in various places -> THE SKULL talks to you -> you have mind control powers now???

oh hey hi kroeger

hey looks like prayer is doing more against evil than bolters

Just Say No To Khorne

Marius POV and uhhh

are you sure? are you sure about that? teamkill guy? has lost none of his tactical acumen? you really sure?

oh here's some undulations for ya

noise marine is noisy however it seems to have no effect on one guy

i i don't think sonic cannons work like that

Checkerheart: This notably is not how sound works TemplarWarden: warp magic Bluejay: it pushes people backwards Checkerheart: A sonic cannon is essentially throwing a fuckton of wind at you Bluejay: it did that in this scene! TemplarWarden: Warp magic, don't ask questions. If nothing make sense, it's warp. The book is warp. Alternatively, rule of cool, kinda Bluejay: yeah, it's why a lot of the book doesn't really bug me even though it should i mean i'll point stuff out but honestly in general im fine moving past it it's kind of a fun moment even if it doesn't make sense haha

okay over to lucius he successfully found and killed the bird and has the stone and his follower dude is following him ruen: what's the stone owo lucius ignores him Ruen gets sniped by Sharrowkyn also apparently physical contact with the stone is a powerup it's time for the swordfight between stealth sniper and lucius

so they fight Lucius loses

yes he died this is before he becomes "the eternal" don't ask how he comes back from this one because it's sure not by taking over sharrowkyn i think it's dreadnought mud wrestling next so, for the record, maugetar has gone: Perturabo -> yoinked by Fulgrim -> yoinked by Perturabo -> dropped into the shaft and grabbed by the bird -> bird killed and maugetar taken by Lucius -> Lucius killed and maugetar taken by Sharrowkyn who will get it next in this game of hot potato! how much longer will the climax of this book be drawn out! find out next time cause we got 5% of the book left to go!

[charnel-doll]

Hello. You may have noticed I’ve been rvelfijng whoa thsys not the right word. Reblogging som e warhammer 40k posts here. This is not a mistake this is not becoming a warhammer blog. I’m trying to lure you in like a siren. Cmon. We have so many large men and they’re all emotionally repressed and extremely homoerotic with each other. Cmoooooooon

[babamessiahoftheholycat]

seriously who the FUCK introduced elon musk to warhammer 40K ??

like, adeptus techno mechanicus ? nicknamed "tau" ?? that whole "demon mode" that "causes chaos" thing (although that one is said by grimes) ???

you know he gets like that with stuff he likes cmon

elon musk had a third child with grimes that he kept secret until the release of his biography. he named it techno mechanicus

[articskele]

Which Warhammer 40k factions I think my OCs would like!!

---

Dove: The Adepta Sororitas, aka Battle Sisters. She would LOVE these gals. She already has that archangel with a flaming sword / divine rage / Joan of Arc thing going on, and the sheer force of human will used to create literal miracles on the battlefield is right up her alley. And she's a brutal motherfucker like them too- AND THE STORY OF SAINT CELESTINE

For context, just like how the Space Marines have different chapters (or subclasses for a D&D comparison lol), the Battle Sisters have six orders based on six saints. All of these saints are dead except for one, Saint Celestine.

She basically has the ability to come back from the dead, and each time, she must brave the terrors of the warp (basically this universe's hell), going through various trials to find pieces of herself. The last trial being to find and comfort a crying little girl that represents her hope.

But her bones appear in this realm everytime she dies, so when she no longer has the strength to climb the growing pile of bones is when she will truly die. And OUGHHHH that hits Dove HARD.

Suffice to say she's a ride or die Sororita enthusiast, she either has cosplayed one or REALLY wants to, and in a Warhammer AU she would absolutely be one.

---

Mel: Oh they're an Adeptus Mechanicus girlie >:D She adores the vibes of the Ad Mech, the robes and the agumentations and the quest for knowledge. And the goofy aspects are just as important to her as the serious ones!

There's the Sydonian Skatros, a skitarii model with comically long stilt legs so it doesn't need to climb up to a vantage point in order to use a sniper rifle.

There's the Ironstrider Ballistarius, which is basically a self-powered chicken walker. The only person who knew how it worked died, and everyone's afraid that if they turn it off they won't be able to turn it back on, so when they're not in battle they're just left running in circles-

Tech priests will literally recite instruction manuals, like when they do the ritual for turning something on they're basically saying "press the power button and hold for three seconds" in High Gothic or Binaric.

Speaking of Binaric, tech priests have invented a variety of languages designed to transmit information as efficiently as possible, but to those without the augmentations to understand it, it just sounds like electronic noises. And they get noticeably miffed with having to speak normally because it's suboptimal-

Mel relates to these funny cyborgs more than they'd like to admit, they're a firm believer in tech priests having autism bc "THEY'RE JUST LIKE ME FR," and she insists that playing the Mechanicus OST will make your electronics work better.

Though my second choice would be Orks! I don't know nearly as much about them, but they're basically hulking green giants with rough british accents who make their shoddy craftsmanship work way better than it should through sheer force of collective will. And they're just plain fun!

I saw this one photo of a book, where it had this formal Ad Mech prayer, and right below it was the ork battle cry "cmon cmon cmon!!" and I think both sum her up very well gjhsdfksd

---

Stone: The Astra Militarum, aka Imperial Guard. The appeal of the Guard is that they're the underdogs of the galaxy. In a world where the weakest weapon is a laser gun that can blast through concrete, in a world where the literal gods of chaos lay waste to all that oppose them, there are regular humans. And they fight on.

I've heard that it's been quoted ad nauseam, but one of the most badass phrases I've heard is about the fall of Cadia. Cadia was a planet situated right next to the Eye of Terror, basically a giant portal to the warp. Thus making the planet the cork that kept everything from exploding out of control.

Countless demons kept coming out of it to attack the planet, among other things as the conflict heated up, but eventually the planet itself was obliterated. The Eye of Terror spread, isolating all who stood on the other side of the galaxy, but there are still people over there who fight to the bitter end.

The planet broke before the Guard did.

And I've heard that the demographic of Guard fans, at least for people who actually play the tabletop, are older dudes? So that fits him too ouo

---

Petra: She's giving Salamanders! Despite the bright red eyes and all-consuming flame weapons of these Space Marines, they're known for their appreciation of humanity and the arts. Salamanders will go out of their way to ensure the safety of civilians, and they pride themselves in crafting weapons that are both effective and beautiful.

It reminds me of how Petra would've been a blacksmith had she never been torn from her homeworld, and come to think of it, I could see her going on to pursue that career after the trio beats Percy!

And I imagine she'd really resonate with the idea of super intimidating self-sufficient warriors who are more than what meets the eye, being someone who hides her emotions behind fire and explosions. Also dragons are hella cool >:D

[btown-mayor]

Part 2 of the Commission I did for a client. They wanted me to paint up a Zombie Doctor Strange, It was super cool to paint, tried to match the comic books a bit more in style. Love the sculpts @cmongames made for their Marvel Zombies game.

[lawdreekris]

Helldivers 2 except warhammer 40k. It'll print money games workshop. Space marines literally drop pod down, fight tyranids, chaos, orks, and other shit. Cmon it's right there James!

[jame7t]

factions in Jamie’s game (patent pending)

human scavengers: think Aliens Weyland-Yutani but down on their luck. Descended from a larger corporation that changed badly. Rugged tech, tanks&warthogs etc.

Buildings require supply lines, but can defend themselves with autoturrets. Your character unit is basically halo’s spartan.

Most basic faction RTS wise- most squad units have one human and multiple mechanical troopers, since they don’t have the humans to spare.

Largest unit they can build is obviously like a giant mech. Cmon, it’s an RTS. You have to have a distraction carnifex. Oh fuck it’s called the carnifex

Scorn/Xenomilf/Scary corporate faction: They’re the xenomorph & Geiger swarm type but they’re doing it for the line, which has to go up. You know, profit. Parent faction of the human scavs, but all their employees have taken the “optional” modifications to their bodies to get promoted.

Units are swarmy and scary, &lots of the buildings are human-morphs given mutagenic berries (yum). You click your builder on a slot and it’ll turn into the building over time, not build it. You can feed your army to itself for faster build times.

Your character unit is some big monster- think Warhammer Hive Tyrant, worse at sniping individuals than the scavengers, but better at commanding the swarm while active & can mutate mid battle to fill different roles. Potentially too much fun to play, so getting stuck in monster mash mode could lead to blind spots for enemies to exploit

Halo’s The Covenant, but Woke: Alien imperialists who have recruited sections of humanity & have an emphasis on terraforming planets to fit their client species needs- irregardless of any who don’t join their group. They love their good image & it’s way easier to just Unexist people who point out that there’s no such thing as an “evil” empire, because that’s every empire.

Human scavs would’ve joined, but these fuckers shot first because they’re assholes

Units are based on the different client critters of the alliance, wildly different varying strengths & weaknesses- a varied force can cover for others shortcomings, but the units don’t *get along* necessarily.

You get a unity meter as these guys, and if you don’t keep it filled, some units can defect to the enemy team or go rogue. If an enemy commander targets your propaganda spires (cheap to build, but easy to destroy- builds unity over time!) then they can cause your army to go into a great-schism esque civil war.

Notably, this isn’t an instant win- if your army splits, an enemy ai commander is spawned taking half your force- he doesn’t like you, but he doesn’t like the enemy either. For your trouble, the Unity Fleet gives you a boon of resources to try and sort this shit out, allowing you to turtle and weather the storm potentially.

Your character unit is like the Arbiter, you get a badass sword and you can lunge & dodge. You raise unity by getting kills near allies, but if you get killed your unity stalls for some time. Disengaging & teleporting out means you get to keep it. You’re like a propagandist!

Humans, inexplicably, are the only unit in the army that build unity. Something something human spirit. Human squads are expensive & skilled, but require protection

Just weird & bad ideas for an RTS that make it harder and stupider but way more silly and fun

addendums. I think it would be fun to disincentivize blobbing up your army in giant masses (unless you’re playing the swarm) so you have to position guys so they don’t friendly fire. Like, maybe they won’t KILL each other doing friendly fire, but their armor rating goes way down.

The game wants you to make interesting engagements for the enemy to fight, not the most optimal- you’re graded based on style points and army composition variety, if you get the “META CHASER” badge, you go down a rank, fucker. Maybe matches are structured like an extraction shooter- it’s not about winning, it’s about making a match where you extract materials & prevent the enemy from taking yours within 30 minutes.

The secret fourth faction is the spectral critters engineering all these fights to happen for their amusement, hence why you’re rewarded resources on your way out of matches. I think they’re probably like cosmetic things for your army, paint jobs & spikes and stuff. Maybe each unit has a handful of cosmetics you can choose from, or you can upgrade your leader’s weapons. Who knows… who freaking knows…

man one thing I’ve always wanted from a halo game is the ability to play an RTS & an fps simultaneously.

Like, halo wars 2’s units don’t look THAT different from your halo CE’s covenant, fidelity wise- it would be so cool to have your army get its ass kicked but you drop down from orbit in your gay little pod & start sniping fuckers.

The counterplay would actually be so much fun to watch bc sure, I just dropped down onto the field, but is the enemy team gonna drop too for a duel? Or just send aircraft to attack me? Or use a leader power or some shit? What if they stun my character & I can’t control my army, then they redirect their forces to my main base?

Also I would add Kerrigan from star craft but as a twink. #Diversity Win

[paintnpending]

The tally for November. A fairly solid amount, though those lizardmen took up a lot of my time. Very close to finishing up my Night’s Watch army. Just one more unit to go. Scooped u some relatively recent minis for Ice and Fire from every army under the sun, so I have that to look forward to. - 8 Night’s Watch Builder Crossbowmen (ASOIAF) - 1 Night’s Watch Recruiter (ASOIAF) - 1 Lokhust Heavy Destroyer (WH40k) - 6 Starblood Stalkers (Direchasm) - 1 Veteran (Maximum Apocalypse) - 1 Dog (Maximum Apocalypse) - 1 Watch Marshall (ASOIAF)

                 Painted:       Pending:          Played: Monthly:       19                 37                   2 Total:           259               262                  11