#clip deleted all my brushes so sorry for taking so long to post

[fearmeeeee]

[moonlit-seren]

If Tears of Themis Wasn’t an AU

A/N: Aka Rosa and the NXX guys vs social media XD

~

Does anything really have to be said?

Z is a persona he set up on Tiktok, and it’s one of those anon accounts where they never reveal their face

Has millions of followers despite the anonymity

I swear half the people watching his content are just there for his hands (‘cause I’d be too 😳 jkjk)

But on a real note the videos are so aesthetically pleasing due to the phenomenal lighting in his studio and, of course, his sheer skill

His most popular clip was of a rough sketch of Rosa captioned with, “when will you notice me, my beloved Rose?”

There was a lot of speculation after that over who he had drawn or if that person was just an imagined muse

But!!! Once Rosa appeared for a split second to bring him a snack and let me just say… When people put the two and two together she gained a massive fan following of her own lmao (who wouldn’t simp for this queen tho)

The two are shipped so so hard, and honestly, there are now more people in the comments demanding for her to appear again than for Z to do a face reveal haha

It really doesn’t help that Marius’ brush always pauses whenever he spots her as if he’s too captivated by her beauty to continue ahhhh

Bonus:

Marius directed the camera at his finished painting of Rosa, and in the background viewers could hear his confession to her

Needless to say, their wishes came true and Rosa now appears quite frequently on screen as Z’s girlfriend and muse

Let’s be real here, even if social media is still a big thing in Stellis decades from now he wouldn’t use it

Sooooo, Rosa took it upon herself to set up an Instagram page for Themis Law Firm

Originally the account was made just to promote the law firm, but it quickly became a blog account upon commenters’ request (all confidential documents were meticulously hidden ofc)

A lot of funny moments were captured and posted from pictures of Kiki caught in the middle of fangirling to other employees falling asleep in front of the coffee machine

But… the account EXPLODED when the first picture of Artem was posted (with his consent of course, though tbh he probably only gave it because he can’t say no to Rosa lmao)

Bruhhh people were rioting in the comments over who would get to marry this fine fine bachelor and Rosa took it upon herself to take as many pictures of him as she could (once again with consent)

Themis’ client count skyrocketed and Celestine was over the moon with how high she could raise the charges for Artem’s services (people were desperate to see this man in person lol)

And all that extra revenue was poured back into upgrading the office as well as more extravagant company vacations

Bonus:

The next vacation took place on a cruise ship, and Rosa got so drunk that she posted a picture of Artem loosening his tie captioned with “Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry. 🥵🥵🥵”

Celestine saw the notification and quickly deleted it (but not without screenshotting the post and sending it to Artem first ehe)

Artem will never admit this to Celestine but he still deliberately rolls up his sleeves and loosens his tie years into his marriage with Rosa because he knows it flusters her

Another person who doesn’t use social media

Rosa felt bad for always standing in as Vyn’s teaching assistant without actually doing anything, so she decided to start a youtube channel with his permission

They’re all just videos of Vyn’s lecture, but oh my lord, people in the comments simp HARD (as they should~)

So many psych related pickup lines are dropped in the comments like: “I'm conducting an experiment, wanna come spend the night over so I can interpret your dreams?” Or “Professor, you'll be enhancing the duration of your short term memory tonight… by saying my name all night long.”

The list goes on and on… (Honestly, Rosa probably flips through the comments every morning to start her day off with a good laugh)

Though, one day Vyn paused in the middle of his lecture, stared dead at the camera, and said very sternly, “For all of you who are choosing to view this lecture online, I do hope you’re taking notes on the subject and not my face.”

After that the simping in the comments section died down a little and more people started discussing the topics of the videos… On the surface level at least, it wasn’t uncommon for people to reply to their own comments with their thirst messages haha

Bonus:

Once Vyn called Rosa up to the front of the room during a lecture about color psychology and handed her a bouquet of red tulips so that she could describe how the shade of the petals made her feel

When the class concluded and they were alone, he asked her the same question once again followed up with “and do you know what red tulips symbolize?”

As expected, she shook her head and so… Vyn leaned forward, gently gripping her chin as he whispered, “Our love will be eternal…”

Okay, that’s enough of that 😂

Sunshineeeeeee

(I love this man so much, he’s adorable)

Rosa suggested making vlogs to look back on in the future and Luke immediately agreed (sobbing)

This became a weekly thing, where they’d record ten minute videos of various activities

The first few involved Luke tinkering with the artifacts in his shop as he explained their history

Thinking that this might be a good way to promote Luke’s shop, they decided to start posting some of their videos to Youtube

Neither were expecting to get much recognition, but low and behold they did manage to attract a loyal group of viewers

Their most popular videos are most definitely their cooking vlogs

Luke had made a New Year’s resolution to learn how to cook more dishes and Rosa, of course, decided to join him

Let’s be real here tho, it isn’t only the cute interactions between Luke and Rosa that keep people coming back for more

Luke always does the heavy lifting (because he doesn’t want Rosa to get hurt 🥺) and like… those muscles are caught on 4k heheh

Rosa had to look away once when he was moving a pot of soup to the kitchen table, but even though Luke didn’t catch her blush, the camera most certainly did

Bonus:

Once they failed so epically at cooking that Rosa had to call Artem to guide them through the dish, and ohhhh boy, now every video there’s at least one top comment pleading for a cameo (have you heard his calls? I can’t blame them pft)

Rosa said that they’d invite him over if the channel hit 1 million subs (she also promised a shirtless Luke if the channel hit 10 million subs lmao, woman knows her audience~)

Unfortunately, that second goal was met a year later, though Rosa put an apron on him so that his abs were covered (she didn’t want random women on the internet ogling at her new boyfriend 👀)

[mouthfulloftoothpasterry]

Grandparents Day

Hi!!! Sorry for posting it then deleting it, I decided I didn’t want to post it now I want to! So sorry about that haha:) this is just the styles family going to the park and visiting the grandparents! I hope you enjoy 💕

Today Y/n and Harry are leaving their cozy cottage and scoundering out into the real world, leaving the home-y confines of their cottage and going to visit the grandparents for a late lunch.

They are having a picnic out at the park, Harry offered to host it at their cottage and have it out in their backyard- claiming the flowers and plants would make great scenery, But the family had denied. They said the four needed to get out and see more people than the customers at the farmers market.

The couple of course agreed, renting out a park pavilion for the day and packing up their contribution of the picnic foods. ���Come on, my love, mummy made sun tea!” Harry coos, holding Violet's hand and hoisting her up into her booster seat.

“Yummy!” She cheers, letting Harry clip her in the seat securely. Harry buckles it right under her chest, making sure the big buckle is positioned correctly. “Comfy?” Harry questions, holding a thumb up for her. She smiles widely, showing her small baby teeth and sticking her tiny thumb up for him. “Good!” She cheers, Harry smiling and softly tickling her belly, kissing her cheek then brushing his hand from her hair to her cheek, softly giving it a pinch before he shoots her a wink, softly closing the door.

Y/n walks out, the picnic basket in her hand along with Forest laying in her arm. “I’ve got that, sunshine” Harry hums, pushing up his glasses and grabbing the picnic basket from her hands, the kids diaper bag balanced on top of it. He places it in the back, Y/n thanking him and buckling Forest into his bus seat.

**

“Come on, sweet pea. Let’s get you out of the bus!” Harry coos, pulling Violet out of the bus seat and resting her on his hip. He circles to the back of the bus, grabbing the diaper bag and the wooden picnic basket, heading toward the big pavilion entry. Y/n walks a couple steps ahead of him, guiding the way while he hauls the food behind her.

“Hello!” Harry’s mum greets, making the man look up with a smile. “Hi!” He sings, his wife offering her a polite smile while she deals with a slightly fussy Forest. Y/ns parents greet them, the styles family making their way over to the picnic table. “Go see nana!” Harry coos, letting Violet slip down from his hip and land on her feet, padding away on the concrete flooring to go visit her grandparent, getting her cheeks pinched and dollars slipped to her behind her parents backs.

They all finally greet each other, laughs and conversations laying over the other until they all settle down and take their seats on the old red chipping bench of the picnic tables. Harry pulls Violet on his lap, making sure she’s not running off and getting lost. (She likes to do that when they go off to the park- which isn’t often.) Harry slides her plate toward her, the girl's sippy cup full of sun tea, balanced between her chubby hands.

“It's time to eat, sunshine.” Harry announces to violet, pulling her next to him on the picnic table bench. She stretches her little neck to look at the array of food everyone had brought. She makes quick grabby hands for the fruit sandwiches Harry hand prepared for the outing. Harry catches her in the act and grabs her hand before she can shove a bite into her mouth, pulling her hand away and kissing the back of it, shoving an orange baby spoon in her hand instead. He puts a small portion of summer pasta on her plate, the girl forming a tight pout on her lips before she stabs the pasta and shoves it in her mouth angirly, mad her daddy didn't let her have dessert first.

“How is the farm?” Anne asks while she holds Forest, holding a sleepy baby in one arm and feeding herself with the other, something the youngest parents out of the group have mastered.

Y/n finishes her bite, wiping her mouth off on the floral printed napkin before answering annes question. “Everything is good. We sold a bunch at the farmers market a couple weeks ago.” Harry nods along, serving himself while everyone passes the bowls and plates of food around, complimenting each other on their dishes quietly. “We’re thinking of getting some bunnies. Violet would love it.” Harry adds, violet instantly snapping her head up at the mention of adding the fluffy white animal to the family farm. “Bunnies?!” she asks, making the group laugh.

“Yep,” Harry says, licking his thumb and rubbing red sauce from her face, the little girl's face scrunching up while she pushes his large hand away. “You're gonna eat them?” Y/n’s dad asks, the family shaking her head, violet getting visibly upset by the questions. They dont eat bunnies! Bunnies are for petting and loving. “No, just have them as pets. We dont eat meat, we haven't for a while.” Harry informs, violet being his little sidekick and nodding along to every word he has to say.

“So are you getting them?” Anne asks, Violet looking up at Harry with so much hope. She loves bunnies, she draws them all the time, it's just one big circle, a smaller one for the head, then four tiny ones for the feet and a happy face made with two dots and a curved line but it's a bunny to her and she loves it. “...yeah,” the father slowly nods. Y/n gives him sharp eyes. They were supposed to surprise Violet and Forest with the new addition to their farm, even though forest wouldn't be that enthusiastic, he's only four months old.

“What about preschool? Are you going to send her to preschool?” y/n’s mum barges into the conversation, always nagging at her daughter to get the kids out. They do get the kids out, just not often. They have playdates and go to the park to socialize with the other kids but they are usually inside and if they do leave they stay together, no disturbing the people around them.

“Were still deciding on whether to homeschool her or send her to Harry's old preschool.” Y/n answers her nons nagging questions. She would love for Violet to stay with them, it's not like she wants to go out and see all these kids, she's a very antisocial toddler. She is shy and nervous around new people, if it's not her mummy, daddy, and little brother she usually doesn't prefer to be around them for long periods of time.

“Just let the kid breathe! She probably wants to be with other kids ever not and then, you know.”

Y/n tries not to get frustrated but she doesn't need people telling her how to parent, especially when they dont know how her child feels being around people that arent her immediate family.

Y/n sighs, rubbing her eyes. “Violet doesn't like being around other people for a long time. I dont want to send her away for three hours a day to a place where she isn't comfortable. Especially when we are already teaching her stuff at home and she is doing great.” she argues back, harry pulls a hand on the small of her back and rubs softly. He knows she gets annoying about things like this, she is usually a very zen person.

Harry 100% backs her up on this. He knows how anxious his little one can get when she is around new people- or people who aren't her parents. Why would they send her off to a preschool when they can teach her ABC’s at home, how to write her name, counting, and even more that they teach at a preschool. They can have one on one time with their child when the teacher wouldn't be able to focus on just one child at a time. They even get to teach her more about the animals, show her what noises animals make and what colors they are up close and personal.

“I think it would just be nice for her to make some friends,”

Harry senses some trepidation, and he doesn't want Violet to watch her mumma and grandma to get into a disagreement. Not that it would get ugly, Harry just prefers his kids ears aren't around bad language, and when a disagreement happens the adults tend to get loose lips.

“Hey, are you done? Let's go play, you can eat this on the swings.” Harry grabs a fruit sandwich, picking the girl up and excusing them while he walks into the wood chip filled playground. Violet munches on her desert when she slides down bright yellow slides with Harry, sitting on his lap while they both sing out “weeeee!”

Y/n helps everyone pack up, throwing away paper cups and plates in the big rusty trash cans that they had in the pavilion. She watches Harry and Violet chase each other, watching them closely since Violet happens to be a very accident prone (almost) two year old. She keeps to herself while she stuffs drinks back in blue coolers, stuffing their tupperware back in their picnic basket and leaving the sun tea out because they had seemed to enjoy that.

While the rest of the crew cleans up Harry chases Violet around the playground, the black floors being filled with wood chips that were once stuck on little ones shoes, or maybe some naughty kids were bringing them up on the jungle gym to play around in them. “Hey, watch your step, pumpkin!” Harry yells before Violet misses her step and falls over a big black chunky step, falling right into the wood chips. Cries instantly fell from her mouth, she was just trying to run down the playground steps but her chubby legs couldn't keep up.

“Hey,” Harry pouts, sitting on the black step and pulling her onto his thighs. “Are you okay, sweet pea?” Harry asks, dusting off the debris on her knees and hands. She huffs as she cries, her bottom lip poking out while tears roll down her cheek, her nose and cheeks growing pink and hot from her crying. Harry gives her a big pout when he sees her knee bleeding, He hopes she doesnt have a splinter.

“Lets go get you clean your boo boo’s up” Harry mumbles, pulling her up to his chest and kissing all along her hair line, letting her cry in his neck. He walks back up to the pavilion in search of the diaper bag, they have a first aid kit stashed in there, it's a necessity when you have a bambi-like toddler.

y/n watches Harry set down a crying violet, fishing for a first aid kit. “What happened?” she sighs, handing the little girl her sippy cup. Harry glaces up at his wife for a second before looking back down at his toddler, preparing to clean her boo boo’s. “She fell,” he cleans her cuts up only making her cry more, her hands were only scraped, but she had a small cut on her knee. He adds some neosporin, patching on a baby shark bandaid before kissing over her cut.

“All better?” the girl huffs, wiping her tears. She looks at her knee, holding up two fingers like she's going to pinch something, Harry laughs. “Lets go sing baby shark somewhere else, your nana might give me a boo boo.”

Y/n laughs, Harry kissing her and Forest's head before they sit on the park bench together, their singing still heard.

The grandparents all swarm over the free child, watching him sleep peacefully. Y/n laughs awkwardly, hoping that Harry would be back soon to distract them or so Violet could play with them. “Are you putting this one in pre school?” Y/n scoffs at her mothers nagging, surprised it's only been an hour of hearing nagging about their kids.

“He's a real momma's boy. He's gonna be a heartbreaker.'' Robin laughs, making Y/n smile and laugh, her boy isn't dating because no one's ever gonna be good enough.

They decide to join the rest on the playground, the men playing with violet- or Harry pushing Violet on the swing while the men talk to him. Anne and Y/n’s mom join her on the park bench, the small boy finally waking up from his long nap. They talk about the farm and the kids while the sun sets, loud giggles from violet fill the park while Harry pushes her higher and higher. “It's beautiful out,” Anne says, looking up at the glowing sky, a painting of orange, purple, and blue framing the cloudy sky.

“It is,”

Hiii!! I hope you enjoyed reading part three!! I’m sorry for being a tease and posting it then deleting it. I was in my teasing era. Anyways, thank you for everything, you have all been so fucking amazing, like it shocks me how sweet and supportive you all are, thank you!!! It means so much!!! I love you all. My requests are open, I’m currently writing part four and then I will be putting out a blurb about when y/n was pregnant with Forest after part four is out. Thank you for everything!!!

[orionfalling]

here’s my quick little fix-it fic/basically what i would have liked to see in between kieutou making up and waking up super domestic and cuddly!

i know you now, we’re brand new

They've made up, they've reunited, they've refamiliarized themselves. Now all that's left is to enjoy each other's company and talk through the things that broke them apart.

Or: the post-mittwoch 18:31, pre-donnerstag 9:17 clip that we didn't get where these two finally learn how to communicate

Read it on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29566044

They had been still for a while now. It didn’t matter how long, the time wasn’t important. The only thing that mattered right now was that they had found their ways back into each other’s arms.

It was late, but Fatou wasn’t sure she even wanted to check the time. The night had passed in a blur, every unimportant detail immediately deleted from her mind so she had enough room to memorize the warm body under her hands, the soft lips that pressed their way down her neck.

She remembered shrugging into Kieu My’s discarded white sweatshirt at one point, rescuing it from where it had been flung haphazardly in favor of more exciting prospects. Fatou had never felt this close to anyone before, never as welcome, never as at home as with Kieu My.

The girl in question was lying right beside her, watching her with quiet eyes. An exhausted, peaceful expression graced Kieu My’s face, a small quirk of the lips as she considered Fatou right back.

She reached one hand sleepily to hold Fatou’s cheek, drawing her thumb over Fatou’s bottom lip.

Kieu My cleared her throat, neither of them having spoken for some time.

“I didn’t say it earlier, but I missed you too. So much.”

She kept her gaze determinately fixed on Fatou’s lips, as if nervous to look Fatou in the eye.

Patient as ever, Fatou said, “Yeah?”

Kieu My gave a quick little nod. “Yeah.”

Her hand moved to trace Fatou’s eyebrow, letting herself explore what it felt like to have Fatou within reach finally. The silence built up in the space between them, but it felt friendly now, welcoming the conversations they both knew were coming.

“I’m...sorry,” Kieu My breathed out finally. “I’m sorry for what I said on Thursday. I didn't mean to make you feel – I don’t know, I never meant for you to feel less than. I just saw you smile and my heart felt like it was being torn out. But it was so shitty of me.”

Fatou leaned into Kieu My’s hand and waited for their eyes to meet. When she finally caught sight of Kieu My’s eyes she gave a soft smile, but felt the bittersweet sting of the apology catch something in her chest.

“It shocked me more than anything. I thought you were over me before I could figure out how to fix us the right way. The way you deserved. I really thought you never wanted to see me again and that I was going to have to try and get over you again for the third time.”

Kieu My turned and groaned into the pillow. Fatou stroked her hair softly, trying to signal with her body that she would wait until Kieu My was ready to talk. Fatou was ready to listen.

“I was such a bitch, Fatou, I’m sorry. I just. I was so fucking sad every day. Miserable every time I saw you in class and miserable when I didn’t. I called Ismail in the middle of the night and I wouldn’t be able to stop crying. Zoe had to leave her Valentine’s date with Finn because I saw pictures of you and couldn’t breathe.”

Kieu My shifted back onto her side, facing Fatou, revealing glimpses of tears filling her eyes.

She continued, her voice starting to shake, saying, “When you showed up in bio that first day and you didn’t even look at me, I felt like the ground opened up beneath me. It was the first time I had caught myself looking at you that you didn’t look back. I felt so fucking dumb.” Fatou’s eyes began to well up too and she pulled Kieu My into her chest, rubbing circles into her back and pressing little kisses to the top of her head, hoping the embrace would heal more than words could.

Kieu My’s arms came up from where they had been trapped beneath the two of them and Fatou felt desperate, grasping hands carding into the back of her sweatshirt, pulling her closer.

They lay there, breathing each other in. Letting the hurt they had caused each other ring through the room, knowing that they had come out the other side, the beginnings of active communication acting as a salve to wounds that were still too raw.

Resting her chin on top of Kieu My’s head, Fatou murmured, “I’m glad you had them. Zoe, Finn. Even Ismail.”

Tucked into Fatou’s neck, Kieu My nodded.

“They’re my family,” she said. “We’re a little fucked up and messy, and we’ve made some really terrible choices, but they’ve always had my back, even when I know I didn’t deserve it.”

“You deserve everything,” Fatou responded immediately, with no hesitation. There was no doubt in her mind that if only one thing was true, it was that Kieu My deserved all of the love and support and friendship and joy that there was.

But the tightening of Kieu My’s fingers gripping at the back of her sweatshirt showed Fatou that Kieu My was still uncertain, so Fatou pulled back for a second.

She reached down to brush Kieu My’s bangs out of her face and held Kieu My’s face with both hands, before reaching down carefully to plant a tender kiss on Kieu My’s lips.

Time froze again, and the world turned pale and dull in the bright light of their kiss. Two galaxies colliding, but purposeful and slow, get closer every second. Time slowed in the gravity they created, moments blurring at the heat they gave off, until they pulled away slowly, breathlessly.

Kieu My kept her eyes closed for a beat after they had pulled away, her grip on Fatou relaxing, as Fatou nuzzled into her cheek.

“You make me feel everything,” Kieu My sighed contentedly.

Fatou grinned. “Remember how you tried to pretend you were heartless while I was teaching you how to flirt with girls?” Kieu My squinted at Fatou in mock outrage.

“Why would you bring that up!” she said, attempting to sound stern but laughing halfway through. “No, but honestly that was the biggest lie. I was so nervous, we had matched on Tinder and talked for a little bit and I really wanted to kiss you so badly. I wanted you to kiss me and I thought if I asked you for tips, we could have moved to...I don’t know, a practical demonstration?” Fatou burst out laughing and Kieu My’s smile took over her face as she swatted at her girlfriend.

“Stop laughing, I didn’t know how to tell you I liked you!”

“Obviously I didn’t either. My friends are probably sick and tired of all of the pining I did.”

Kieu My giggled, a small nod of agreement and tucked herself firmly back into Fatou’s arms. A comfortable quiet fell over them once more. Their arms and limbs were so intertwined, Fatou started to forget where she ended and Kieu My began.

Outside, the sky gave the first signs of the day, a dark gray starting to build up along the horizon and the deep black of night giving way. Sleep, however, still managed to evade both girls, despite the comfortable exhaustion. Getting to hold and be held, to feel and be felt for the first time after an intense separation was more magic than any dream could hope to provide.

Fatou was playing with a strand of Kieu My’s hair, working it through her fingers as the other girl dozed on her chest, moving every few seconds only to place a little kiss or two on Fatou’s neck.

Fatou remembered the last time she had been on Kieu My’s bed before their reunion and felt a stab of guilt. She sat up a little bit, jostling Kieu My, who looked up questioningly, startled for a moment, but just as quickly turned worried at the expression on Fatou’s face.

"Kieu My," Fatou started carefully, planning out precisely what she wanted to say. "I’m sorry for looking at your phone that night at your party. I was on edge and out of place and nothing was going right and you were the only person who was trying to listen and it was easier to blame you for not wanting me as much than it was to hear you out. I just felt like everyone was leaving me behind. That I was disappointing them all. And I took those messages as a sign to leave you before you could leave me."

Kieu My nodded slowly, taking in the words, before dropping her head back down onto Fatou’s chest. She tucked her head back under Fatou’s chin, cheek pressed to chest.

She said, “It hurt to know that you didn’t trust me.” Fatou resumed stroking Kieu My’s hair, before saying, “I think it was more that I didn’t trust myself.”

It was Kieu My’s turn to pull away slightly, just so she could catch Fatou’s eye with a questioning look.

Fatou considered the distance for a moment, sighing.

“Up until that point,” she explained. “Everyone warned me about you. They told me you were the “ice queen”, that you would hurt me. Even you called yourself heartless. And it was so confusing to me, because I never saw that from you once. I saw you try your best to look that way, like you didn’t care. But I was so sure that you did. And deeply. In my mind you were just this...vibrant galaxy, swirling with stars and colors, spinning and full of light and impossible to pin down. But after hearing everyone say I was fooling myself, I started thinking that they might be right. I’m sorry for that. For not hearing you out.”

There was a moment of silence, a pause where Fatou wasn’t quite sure what was going to happen, before Kieu My cuddled closer into Fatou.

She hummed happily for a second and Fatou, confused, asked, “hm?”.

Fatou felt the vibrations from what Kieu My was saying before she heard them.

“You thought I was a whole galaxy,” Kieu My said quietly, the smile evident in her voice.

Fatou couldn’t help the joy that bubbled up inside her and leaned over to press a firm kiss on Kieu My’s forehead, while Kieu My giggled softly.

“I was so used to being chased by boys,” Kieu My started saying. “But you were so confusing. I didn’t know if you liked me and I didn’t know how to tell you that I liked you so much , so I asked Zoe, and —”

Fatou interrupted. “Wait, so when you guys came in for the wine that day at the WG, that was planned?”

Kieu My flushed. “Maybe?”

Fatou laughed in disbelief, before rolling them both over, Kieu My on her back, Fatou hovering over her, and leaned in for a quick kiss, made quicker because neither of them could stop smiling long enough to concentrate.

“That was one of the best moments of my life, are you kidding me? The girl I had been crushing on for years was into girls too, and she admitted it in front of all of my friends, so there was no way I had dreamt it.”

Kieu My groaned, tried to hide beneath her hands, roll away, but Fatou had her pinned, so she ended up staring right back at Fatou’s mischievous grin, before what Fatou had admitted out loud finally struck her.

Her expression serious suddenly, she looked up at Fatou, big brown eyes searching for honesty.

“Years?” Kieu My asked quietly. “Mailin had said the Moulin-Rouge dance, so I thought –”

Fatou huffed out a sigh. “Mailin thinks she knows a lot more than she actually does.”

Kieu My kept their eye contact. “But years, Fatou?”

Fatou rocked back and sat on her heels, as Kieu My rose to a seated position too.

“Yeah,” she admitted, finally. “Years. The first time I remember noticing you was years ago. We were in the same math class, and I was struggling and just felt so small. And you were nearby, we had never spoken or interacted or anything. But you were scribbling something down on a piece of paper and slid it over to me without saying a word, and then got up to go talk to someone else. And when I opened it up, it was everything, written out so clearly. What the problems were asking, how to solve them, what the teacher was looking for. Everything.”

Kieu My looked straight at Fatou, eyes shining.

Fatou continued. “You didn’t know me. But you wanted to help me anyway. And I never forgot. So I tried not to listen to what people said about you. I knew better.”

As soon as Fatou finished talking, Kieu My moved towards her, and they were kissing again, more passionately than they had for the duration of the conversation. They moved together, pouring all of their hurt and affection, care and concern into one another.

When their lips finally broke apart, Kieu My kept their foreheads close, and whispered, “I noticed you then too. I wanted you to see me, but I was shy. But I’ve always noticed you.”

The smile that overtook Fatou’s face outshone the sun, which was coincidentally beginning it’s climb over the horizon. Fatou leaned in for one more kiss, before tugging Kieu My down next to her.

“Okay, time to sleep!” she declared. “We have to get my genius girlfriend to school so she can take over the world and then take me to Mars!”

Kieu My’s laugh sounded like watching meteor showers, stunning and mesmerizing, breathtaking in every way.

“Maybe we can take tomorrow off. Just this once. I’d like to wake up to you.”

[zalrin]

Dream SMP x Detroit: Become Human AU

DSMP x DBH AU Part 2

Background Information: I was inspired to do this after watching Tubbo's play-through of Detroit: Become Human. At first, I was planning on posting art with descriptions, but I'm over flowing with ideas and not enough artistic talent to hurry along...

Author's Note: Okay, I'm going to be completely honest. Both part 1 and part 2 are pretty much posted on impulse. I should be going to sleep because I have work in the morning, and I started on this post early with that thought in mind, but for some reason my computer is glitching... I've written this out almost three times T-T Everything was deleted at one point, with NOTHING SAVED, so I was nearly about to rage quit... Pray for me. My patience is not unlimited.

Aside from all that, please enjoy! I worked REALLY hard on this (even excluding all the technical issues) so I really do hope you enjoy!

Character Plots:

1. Technoblade

Technoblade, notoriously known as the rogue deviant, was always a mystery due to the fact that no one, not even CyberLife, knew what model android he was. This was due to the fact that Techno was actually not even an android, but a human. This all began at a young age of thirteen, when Techno started to question the set rules of society and how he fit into its rigid hierarchy. Although it was just a budding curiosity, one he didn’t expect to go anywhere, it soon took a drastic turn. After pretending to be an android, just for fun, he was appalled by how he was treated by his fellow humans. More so than the random civilians, he was more disgusted by the inaction of the police. As an act of rebellion for the present corruption of authority, he committed small acts of violence and destruction of public property. He promoted equality and spoke out against the tyrannical attitude of those in power. Due to him indiscriminately acting out against both humans and androids alike, fighting against anyone in power who became physical and bullied those weaker than them, public opinion slowly began to shift. He eventually went from a crazy anarchist to a modern-day robin hood, much to the government’s dismay. Even those that flocked to his side, joining his cause, were a good mix of both androids and humans. His growing popularity began to raise the urgency of his capture, making his name slowly climb up the Most Wanted list. Eventually, while on his many brushes and runs from the police, he met with Detective Kristin (before she was promoted to Lieutenant) and her android partner, Philza. After many encounters, Techno and Phil surprisingly became close friends. In fact, they became so inseparable that their relationship was more akin to family than just friends. Though Phil didn’t particularly condone Techno’s more violent methods, he still supported his cause from behind. Willing to dirty his hands and become the mole, Phil secretly fed Techno intel from classified files as well as supplying Techno with android fuel, aka. Blue Blood. It was only later that Techno revealed to Phil his human identity, Phil being the only one he ever disclosed that information to, but Phil swore to never reveal his secret. Besides, the fuel was necessary for Techno’s growing followers, eventually taking on the name of The Syndicate. Techno understood the reason Phil never openly supported him, even though the android was more than willing to. It was to protect his loved one, Kristin, who would eventually become his wife. Techno understood, even supported Phil, and worked harder to never be a burden to his closest friend. Suddenly, Techno’s reputation exploded when a video clip of him went viral on social media. Though the government tried to spin the story in their favor, the video captured the full extent of the event. Techno had fought off several CyberLife security officers and police forces, exhibiting exceptional fighting prowess, while also making off with a ton of android fuel. He and his team had tried to hijack the vehicle loaded with the goods mid-route but was caught and almost apprehended. However, the thing that raised his public opinion to his favor was not just his fighting capabilities, but also how little he endangered the civilians around him. Instead, it was the government officials who had unintentionally dragged innocent people into this chaotic fight, suspecting them to be on Techno’s side. Then, not long after his growing popularity, Techno and Dream teamed up, officially marking Technoblade’s name as number one on the FBI’s Most Wanted Fugitives list.

2. Dream

Clay, or better known as Dream, was once a star employee at CyberLife. He was actually one of the many brilliant minds that helped make CyberLife into the giant company that it is. However, Dream soon gave up his employment due to the many restrictions they had placed on his creative vigor. Instead, he pursued his own android business, taking on the name Dream for both branding purposes and to embody his own "dreams." Teaming up with fellow ex-employees, Sapnap and George, the three were an ambitious trio that were talented enough to eventually become a threat to CyberLife’s growing industry and monopoly over the android market. When Dream realized that his life was being targeted by CyberLife, even being threatened to either come back into their company or give up on his current business, he became more determined to grow his industry. This even propelled him to start designing his most prized creation, DreamXD. However, his unbending will soon began to falter. CyberLife took a different approach when they realized that Dream did not hold his life more dear than his company. They began to threaten not just his life but also the lives of his most trusted partners and friends. This finally forced Dream to worry, eventually driving his friends away. Dream knew Sapnap and George like the back of his hand. He knew that the two would stick by him, through thick and thin, so he didn’t even give them that choice. Instead, his attitude towards them got worse and worse, until they eventually cut all ties with him. That was the only way he believed he could protect them. However, Dream underestimated the effects his friends had on his mental stability. Eventually, without their presence, he became more insane from the combined pressure, stress, and loneliness. Soon, he realized that it was getting too dangerous to stay still and was forced into hiding. With little time, Dream only took the incomplete DreamXD with him and shook off those tailing him. Then, he left his most prized possession to his dear ex-partner and friend, George. Dream intentionally left DreamXD incomplete. He had created the android in his image and left him unfinished to gather experience and human emotions on his own. This was the only android in existence that had been designed not only to be a deviant, but to be a human. Even with high expectations for his own future, Dream never could shake off the feeling of death following close at his heels. DreamXD was created to be his contingency plan. In the event that Dream died before his goals were achieved, DreamXD was programmed to take over Dream’s human life, or the life of Clay. Of course, Dream knew that free will was a part of humanity. That’s why he left DreamXD with a choice. While forced into hiding by CyberLife, the company spread rumors about his capture and imprisonment. CyberLife hoped that it could lure out his loved ones, baiting Dream to come out of hiding, but they had underestimated him. They had failed to realize just how severely Dream had cut out all his friends and loved ones from his life, leaving no one behind. No one to look back for him, or so the two thought... Surprisingly, even on the run Dream was fairly rich. He had planned out many things in the event CyberLife truly carried out their threats, and hidden many resources to one day come back to. However, he could not leave the city. Not while his goal was still left unfinished. So this left him with no place to stay for long periods of time, leaving him essentially homeless. That’s when he reached out to Technoblade, whose infamy had grown exponentially. The two had similar goals and so easily agreed to a partnership. Technoblade wanted to take down the tyranny of the government, while Dream wanted to end CyberLife’s influence over the android market and quiet down his chaotic life. Since CyberLife was a large reason for the power corruption, the two found working together to be simple. Techno would help Dream by providing him a place to stay, as well as offering man power when available and needed. Dream, on the other hand, would assist with supplies and android repairs, using his expertise in androids to even upgrade their parts. However, outside of these agreements they wouldn’t get in one another's way. They would only provide assistance if their plans overlapped. The two had a good understanding of the nature of their relationship. They were neither friends nor enemies. Just partners. Nothing more, nothing less.

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PREVIOUS PARTS: 1

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Note: I'm sorry, but after writing all this over again, nearly from scratch, three times... I really can't be bothered to go back and fix anything. I know I could have done better, but I'm kind of defeated right now and a bit tired. Please understand and I really do hope you enjoyed the read! Feel free to leave a comment on what you thought of it or maybe ways to improve the story! I'm all ears (when I have free time) ^^ And thank you so much for all the likes on my previous post! I'm really happy that you all enjoyed it <3

[debbierhea]

she blames herself

chapter 2 of 2  / wc: 1509 / msr, angst, s10, post-home again

summary: She did not deserve to lose her mother tonight. She didn’t deserve to lose her father or her sister or her children or her dog either. But here she is, a mother without a child and a daughter without a mother, lightly trembling against the headboard of the bed they once shared.

this is the first fic i ever wrote! it got deleted along with my original blog a few years back, so i thought i’d repost for that sweet, sweet validation. check out my fic tag if you’d like! xx

(chapter 1)

Early morning sun began to creep slowly through the gauzy curtains of the bedroom. A cock crowed distantly, causing Mulder to stir. He pulled the covers up and over his head, trying to block out the growing brightness of the sunlight. When the cock crowed again, Mulder sighed deeply, accepted defeat, and began to rub the sleep from his eyes. He absently reached across the bed, searching for her hand, her waist, any part of her he could use to anchor them both to each other. His hand met crisp, cool sheets. Sitting up he turned towards the empty space beside him, brows furrowed in concern and sad realization.

She had left. Last night she was grieving, covered in salty tears, clinging to his thin, cotton t-shirt. That was acceptable Scully behavior, in the night, where she could hide in the cover of darkness and their thick down comforter. But, after all these years, she couldn’t face him in the light of day. She didn’t – couldn’t – trust him enough to allow herself to be seen vulnerable in the harsh sunlight, where everything seems so real. At night, in the inky shadows, life feels less weighty, less impossible. The day is not as kind, bringing to light all the things you try to forget, try to hide.

He sighed again, this time wearier, heavier. What could he say, what could he do for her? As he fell apart after both his mother’s and father’s deaths, Scully had been there, even when he had pushed her away, yelled, showed up at her apartment drunk out of his mind. She had cared for him, she had held him, she had dried his tears. And he would do the same for her.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he grabbed his keys off the bedside table and slipped into a pair of ratty running shoes, almost as an afterthought as he took long strides out the bedroom door and down the hall. As he approached the main room of the house, his pace slowed.

Coffee. He smelled coffee.

Rounding the corner and stepping into the sparsely furnished living room, Mulder saw the front door sitting open and could hear the muffled noises of coffee percolating. A cold wind whipped into the entryway, causing the screen door to lightly swing on its creaky hinges. He took a deep breath of the chilled air, and stepped outside.

There she was, bed head, wrapped in her favorite flannel throw she had left behind in her hurry to leave him. She held a mug of coffee in her hand, steam rolling off in waves. Hair fluttered around her pale, freckled face, catching on the dry skin of her cracked lips. She hasn’t noticed him standing there and he takes a moment to see her in a rare moment of unguardedness; she was simply existing. No power suits donned as armor. No carefully constructed walls to hide her emotions, to keep him out. She looked calm, but pensive; maybe even a bit wistful. Her freckles and mole that she tries so desperately to hide, as if they are chinks in her bulletproof armor, stand out proudly against her porcelain skin in the soft morning sun.

Lifting her right hand, she brushes away a delicate tear off her cheek and tucks her unkempt hair behind her ear in one smooth movement. Mulder catches his breath as the early dawn rays dust her face with gold. Even in her sorrow, she is beautiful. He takes slow steps towards her from behind, and by the way her posture changes, he knows that she has heard him begin to approach.

Mulder stands directly behind her, wraps one arm around her waist, and places a gentle kiss to her cheek, still damp from tears. She closes her eyes and leans into the kiss, letting out a soft sigh.

“Hey,” she breathes, her throat tight and raw, but the smallest curve of her lip reveals she is happy to see him. He takes a step back, but leaves his hand resting on her hip, light as a feather. She passes him the mug of coffee, without looking at him. It is silent except for the gusts of wind blowing through the bare trees.

The mug warms his stiff fingers. He knows before he even tastes the coffee that it contains two sugars and the smallest splash of whole fat cream. It’s one of the only indulgences she allows herself in her strict diet, her regimented life. He sips the coffee slowly, relishing the warmth it trails down his throat and into his empty stomach. He hands the mug bag to her, clears his throat.

“I woke up and you weren’t there.” She stands next to him, staring straight ahead, giving no reaction to his words. “I thought that…,” he trails off, not knowing what he’s trying to say to her, what he so desperately needs her to understand.

She slowly turns towards him and leans in. He can feel the warmth of her body radiating from her, the smooth flannel of the blanket wrapped snugly around her petite frame. She smiles sadly and looks at his chest, avoiding his eyes.

“The house looks spotless. Have you hired a maid?” She attempts a joke, to lighten the mood. It’s a pitiful attempt; her heart isn’t in it, and it falls flat. She frowns. “I’m sorry,” she says simply. “I wanted to let you sleep. And… I needed coffee.” He shifts his hand from her waist to her upper arm, trying to make eye contact and failing. “And…I needed….I needed time to think.”

“Scully, listen, I know…I know that we aren’t really on the best terms and that…well I’ve really fucked up and, I just…,” Mulder’s throat begins to close up, tears sting his eyes. “I don’t want you to go through this alone.”

Scully inhales deeply, but says nothing. Her shoulders begin to tremble, so subtly that if he wasn’t holding onto her, he would never have known. He’s glad he knows. He holds her tighter. “I want to help you through this. I’m going to help you through this.”

Her entire body has started trembling, coffee starting to slosh out of the cup with her efforts to tamp down building sobs. Mulder extracts the mug from her iron grip and places it on the rail of their front porch. He turns back towards her, trying desperately to catch her eyes, but she just clamps them shut, trying to maintain control.

Her hair has begun to fall from its place behind her ear; Mulder takes a step closer to her, reaches out to tuck the errant strands back, and tenderly brushes his knuckles against her cheek. It’s all it takes, skin to chilled skin, for Scully to fall apart. She rushes hard into his arms, burying her face into his chest in a way that reminds him of a green special agent with some nasty mosquito bites he knew years ago.

Her tears begin to wet his grey shirt. He makes large, soothing circles on her flannel covered back, pulling her closer.

“Mulder, I...I...” she quietly whispers between gasps for air.

“Shhhh, Scully. I’m here,” he soothes, “I’m here.”

The coffee cools on the railing as Mulder rocks her back and forth, gently, whispering into her mussed hair. And as her sobbing turns to cries and her cries turn to whimpers, he continues to hold her close, arms wrapped tightly around her. She’s letting him hold her broken pieces together, a rare relinquishing of control, and he will not let her down.

When her cheeks have dried and her breathing has regulated, they continue to stand in silence, Mulder holding on to her as if she may dissolve right in front of him, disappear. Scully has been still and quiet for so long that Mulder wonders if she has fallen asleep standing up. Losing your last living parent, your last relative who truly loves and supports you despite your alien-loving partner and questionable life choices doesn’t lend itself to a good night’s sleep. He’s just about to gather her into his arms, blanket and all, when she withdraws her arms from against his chest and wraps them around his body. The strength of her embrace surprises him.

He feels her chest expand as she inhales deeply. “Mulder?” She breathes, a hint of nervousness, maybe even desperation. He doesn’t know if she wants a response, to assure her that he is listening. As if he could stop himself from hanging on her every single word since they met all those years ago in a musty basement covered in newspaper clippings and an unhealthy amount of dust.

He’s about to answer when he feels the vibrations in his chest as she says, “Mulder, I want to come home.”

Mulder laughs, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He tightens his grip around her, holding her close, feeling the rise and fall of her breath, the beating of her heart.

“You’re already here.”

[sparklingpax]

Y E S id LOVE to see how you draw The Boi!!

I think you’re referring to when I posted about asking if anyone wanted me to put out a tutorial about anything so....ok! :D

Your wish is my command~

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Uhh so for y’all other artists or people who might also see this, disclaimer again that I’m not  a professional so pls pls pls dont come at me if you see mistakes...which there are mistakes...like I’m 99.9% sure some of this isn’t really “symmetrical” or its warped weirdly because I Suck at perspective and I’m still learning! :’) 

The point of this tutorial thing is just to show my general process of how I draw Optimus (a headshot of him, just his head and neck, to be specific; his body is another, longer story o//o’’) and others’ execution of it can definitely vary. I mostly just showed the steps in which I completed the different parts of his helm. 

Which I’d also like to add that I’m an Idiot and forgot to record my screen so instead I took photos of the different compeleted steps after drawing the whole thing O//////o’’ but anyway......I do still hope this maybe sorta helps....^^’’ 

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1.) Sketching; I like to draw a human head actually (same goes for body; I’ll start with a human form as the sketch and then do a second sketch of the armor over it before I start lining; and those dont include other sketches I do over those to clean them up....^^’’)

2.) Cleaner, More Specific sketch; This is the last sketch before lineart where I place things and color the lines so I get an idea of what the final product might look like...if I end up doing it right! I try to place everything that should be in the final, so before this are other sketches....but this is the last one. Ok. Moving on--

3.) Crest; this can move around a lot while lining the rest of the helm as you may find you’ve centered it incorrectly...or at least...that’s what happens to me...but nonetheless, I begin with the crest~

And a note about how I make it: I use the line tool to make the shape, duplicate the shape, make that one smaller, fill it in completely, then take the eraser and turn the canvas so I can erase in the lines. When you finish, it’ll look like a grill of sorts (is that the term??? O///O’’) and it saves the trouble of extra lineart,,,idk call me lazy but it looks good in the end,,,, ^^’’

4.) Top of his helm; When I draw this the first time, I close up the bottoms so I can clean them up later when I draw the other parts of his head, but as I said above, by this point I’d already finished the drawing so that’s why it looks like that, but basically, that blue part of his helmet goes next! :D I also try to do extra lines as I go along so I don’t forget later...^^’’

5.) Add in the audio receptors + Side face-plate things!! Preferably, start with the receptors, then do the side thingies. And for the grill on those, take your line tool and draw in a rectangle that follows the shape at the top but is straight on the bottom and fill it in. Then, erase the same amount of times on each side to create the same look~ Obviously, be neater than me...since this example here is kinda lopsided....but I suppose you probably get the idea.. :’3 

6.) Draw in the blue plating on his face, then the chin on a separate layer below, and on yet another layer, add the tiny blue things at the bottom. Clean up the chin lines that cross into the blue plating spaces, and that should give you this step! If that,,,makes any sense? If my rambles make it confusing, just look at the final result here and compelete the three components on three separate layers so it’s easier for you. Also, when you’re done with that, combine the side blue plating and the chin bits so you have less layers to go through in the end...if you wanna...

7.) As for the antennae things, use the line tool for sure, and erase or change the brush size up so you can play with line-weight...and again call me lazy but you can combine them when you’re done cleaning them up (again, I reccommend putting each one of these on a separate layer first so you can clean them up individually and then combine to one) and duplicate the layer for the other side. For front view, literally just flip it so it’s symmetrical, for 3-quarter, you might need to use your “transform” (hahah lol) tool to fix it a bit. Or just draw the new side in, either way, that completes step 7.

8.) Neck!! Now this wasn’t a more “serious drawing” or anything, so I kinda made a neck shape and drew in random cables and lines so it looks complicated but it’s actually not....tbh when you do draw him, you can kind of do that because ultimately, the shades of black used to color his neck area are dark enough to conceal what exactly was drawn in there so it’s not the most important thing in the world...since you’ll see there’s lining in there but it’s too hard to make out what exactly....basically, from afar, having all this “complication” will give the look that he has a complex neck area, with all these cables and wires and it looks alien! And that’s exactly what you should go for without needing to make it too hard for yourself. I remember someone told me once that in a lot of art, especially art displayed on social media or that kind of thing, you wanna focus on details but not too much; always do a double-take to see what it looks like as a thumbnail so you won’t end up stressing over every tiny miniscule detail. Idk but it seems like good advice~ 

9.) Eyes/mouth; For the eyes the only thing I wanna say is that I make a shape and fill it in. I know he has other little details surrounding his optics, but for the sake of showing you how I do this in my lil style, I like to simplify it by just making the shape and filling it in, then duplicating the layer and “gaussian blurr-ing” it so it has a softer look. The mouth is...the mouth. Do with it what you shall~

10.) Optics! The blue part! The most fun part in my opinion! I actually have a more “complicated” (not really lol) version of his eyes which I use if I’m going to color the piece or do something more “serious,” so this here’s the simplified version. Like I said with his eyes, I like to keep it simple when it comes to his eyes, since idk it just...looks good to me ^^’’ I take the pen tool and draw in two circles, ovals, whatever the shape is supposed to be. I do not use the circle tool because it feels a little.....stiff..? Idk ^^’’ But anyway, then I duplicate the layer, gaussian blur, and combine both. Another thing I like to do is change the first layer (the one that didn’t get the blur) from “normal” to “Add (Glow)” ((as it’s written in Clip Studio settings, that is)) and mess with that a little, THEN combine these layers. The last part is adding your shine bits; just take your white pen and go wild, and if you wanna, do the whole “duplicate, blur, combine” thing with the shine bits as well; it adds to the look~ 

And ofc, take away the sketch layer (but don’t delete it, just in case you need it! ^w^)

I have another process for coloring....but I didn’t include it since it’s fairly simple ^^’’

Unless you wanna see that too....but for now.....I hope you could get something out of this tutorial here! Sorry it was so long!! 

I also just realized I forgot his eyebrows, but you can add those in along with the eyes/mouth step if you don’t forget like I did...idk, for this particular look it seems not to take so much away from the drawing but....I should have remembered ahh--

Anyway! Thanks so much for asking!! And thanks to all of y’all for reading/looking through all this!! <3 

See ya around~

-Kuni :D 

[dickgraysonisnothereforthis]

Three AM, Aching and Tender

A Jason Todd x reader oneshot

the title is a bit fucked, but my inspiration ran out, so here we are

warnings for a character getting triggered, and also SMUT

*edited because I added a tag and tumblr decided that meant it could delete the whole fucking post

***

Jason aches.

Aches. All over, everywhere. He aches, and he’s so, so tired. Standing in the dark hallway in front of his apartment door, he can almost feel the exhaustion enveloping him, a physical wave threatening to pull him under as he fights for lucidity. He’s got the achy sort of tired that comes from a mission, a deadening of senses that just spent hours of hyper-alert, of muscles that were overstretched and overused. Half his body seems to be twinging lightly, sending minor flashes of pain that glimmer faintly in his soup-slow brain that’s doing it’s damndest to focus up enough to unlock his fucking flat.

The weariness is so pronounced that he couldn’t be bothered to enter his apartment like a proper vigilante and had walked in the building’s front door. He isn’t too worried, it’s 3:15am and the streets outside are nearly deserted. Besides, Babs has alerts on all CCTV cameras two miles in every direction, she’d scrub the footage if any of them caught the Red Hood waltzing into a building like he lived there.

After digging through his pockets for a few seconds, Jason gets his keys out and unlocks his door, flicking on the living room light. He sets his rucksack on the floor by the kitchen island, running the zipper down and taking out the few sets of dirty clothes from the top of the bag, putting them aside to wash later. He’d packed light for the two-week job with Roy and Kory.

Frustration edges in on the exhaustion lightly fogging his mind as he thinks over the mission itself. The drug sting on Santa Prisca had taken out some major players, but on their way out Roy got hit by some trigger happy idiot. Jason and Kory had had to perform emergency first aid on the helicopter ride off the island. It was touch and go for a bit, but eventually they’d dug the bullets of out his shoulder and thigh, and Kory cauterized the wound with her powers. Jason was taping gauze over her handiwork not twenty minutes ago. Roy will end up with two new scars and nothing more, but it wasn’t exactly how Jason preferred to end his missions.

He sighs, trying to push the days’ events from his mind. Giving himself a shake, he starts stripping down, taking off his helmet and body armor and placing them on the countertop, a tarp he’d laid down keeping his kitchen clean. His guns and miscellaneous other weapons, knives and the occasional batarang, make their way onto the tarp as well. Once he’s down to his pants and undershirt he surveys the counter, wondering what he can get away with just wiping down with disinfectant and what he’s going to have to soak in bleach overnight. As he eyes a particularly grimy blade a noise makes his way out of his bedroom. He doesn’t have to guess at what it is, and sure enough you appear a moment later, wearing an overlarge t shirt and hair mussed from sleep.

He grunts in your direction, mood still black from Roy’s close call. “Hey. You didn’t have to get up.”

“S’okay.” You softly pad over and take a seat on one of the barstools ringing the island. Neither of you say anything for a bit, silence stretching comfortably as you watch him in that even way of yours while he cleans and puts away his gear.

It still makes him pause, seeing you in his kitchen like this. This isn’t the first time you’ve graced his apartment in the early morning hours, kitchen light flickering over your head. You’d stayed over a few times since Jason had started sort-of-dating you a month and a half ago. He had actually handed you the keys when he left for Santa Prisca, you had asked if you could crash at his place while your landlord fumigated your apartment. He knows you’ve been here for two weeks, and you seem comfortable enough in his space, but Jason doesn’t think he’ll get used to moments like these. To having you here, clock ticking low while you huddle up on his barstool, streetlights outside bouncing through the window and shining hazy light on your skin.

In the month and a half that he’s known you, you’ve proven soft and sweet. Can you really fit into the seedy grooves of his life? He’s admiring you while he cleans his fucking guns at three in the morning for chrissakes, do you really belong here? Stills of you in his apartment drift across his brain, he imagines you having breakfast here in the morning, cleaning your teeth in front of his bathroom mirror, laying in his bed with your head resting on his pillow. Can he really have you like this?

Six weeks since Tim introduced you, and Jason still feels uneasy with these moments of quietness stillness, of just being together. He likes spending time with you and he’s happy you’re seeing each other, but Jason feels like he’s missing a trick, here. Something isn’t right. Maybe that’s the problem, not whether you belong in his life at all. It’s that something’s out of place with the two of you, with your relationship, if he can call it that. You text back and forth often enough, you go on dates, you fuck, but something doesn’t sit well with him. Maybe it’s that, for all the time you spend together, neither of you have actually ponied up and admitted some real feelings. It’s almost as though you’re settling into a routine of a long relationship before you’ve put in any of the grunt work, before you’ve run the risk of being vulnerable with each other. The two of you are groping blindly in the dark, hoping the other person feels the same way but never reaching out to confirm it, only to be pleasantly surprised when you bump into each other, wordlessly. It’s setting his teeth on edge, because it’s pretty clear to him that he likes you, and quite a bit more than a lot. He’s not great with emotions, hasn’t been since the pit and even before that, but he’s getting the sense that this thing with you might be starting to brush up against something big. He just doesn’t know what to do about it.

“How’d the job go?” your voice is a murmur in the dim light. For all his misgivings about whether his life can fit someone like you, you’re still choosing to sit next to his vigilante gear with no comment. On your second date, you had dropped the bomb that you know about his nightlife, and for a split-second Jason had frozen, ready to wallop Tim for clueing you in, or at the very least ignore his calls for a few weeks. Before he could even open his mouth to deny it, you told him you’d figured it out from Tim’s schedule back in college. It didn’t take a genius to make the leap from Tim to Bruce Wayne and his brood.

Jason knows you’re hazy on the details about his death and then non-death, but he isn’t in any hurry to bring you up to speed. He’s quietly grateful that you haven’t pressed.

He sets a gun down, stifling a wince at the sight of blood on the muzzle. You know about his night gig and his methods, sure, but there’s a difference between knowing and seeing blood coating a deadly firearm. A quick glance in your direction reveals that you don’t seem disgusted or repelled at all. He’s not even sure you’ve noticed it, from where he stands it looks like you’re keeping your gaze on him. You’ve drawn your knee up to your chest and are resting your chin on it, eyes wide and open as you wrap your arms around your bent leg.

Jason takes a deep breath, thinking on how to answer your question about the mission. He wants to grunt his way out of this and into the shower so he can wash the day off him, but your sweet concern deserves at least a response. Squeezing his eyes shut, he says “the sting went okay, but on the way out Roy got hit in a few nasty places.” He hears you shift in your seat. “Oh no, is he alright?”

He starts to shrug a bit as he opens his eyes. “He’ll be okay, but performing emergency surgery while under fire was—”

The last word comes out clipped and awkward as Jason catches sight of the shirt you’re wearing. You’d brought your leg down to the chair, leaving your chest open. Now he can see the shirt properly, and his gut sinks as he realizes that it’s his, that it’s one of his old ones from before, one of the ones Dick gifted to him while he was still Robin, while he was still with Bruce. His body turns stiff as his eyes trace the faded Haley’s Circus logo. Jason remembers admiring it every time a teenage Dick Grayson wore it around the manor, remembers admiring the teenage Dick Grayson himself, and his throat goes tight. Memories of who Bruce used to be to him, of what he used to be to Bruce, flood his mind and he finds he aches in a different way, more urgent, as the past takes over.

“Jay?” you ask, and there’s no way you could have missed that, the way his body locked down. “Is everything okay?” You’re moving again, hands braced on the counter like you’re about to get up and go over to him, which is the last thing he wants right now.

He can feel old defense mechanisms whirring into place. “What are you wearing?” he says, voice curt, instead of answering.

“What?” You glance down at yourself. “Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot to bring something to sleep in so I just—”

“Where did you get that shirt?” Somewhere in his brain Jason feels guilty for making you recoil like that, but it’s lost to the wash of anger that had welled up so suddenly.

“I—I found it in your drawer, I’m sor—”

“So you were snooping through my stuff?” What is he doing, what is he doing? He doesn’t care if you went through his fucking sock drawer, why can’t he stop lashing out at you? But he knows why. 

“No, of course I wasn’t snooping, I… I just,” you’re stammering in confusion. “I didn’t know the shirt was…I can go change if you want?” you offer, trying to placate him.

Jason takes a deep breath, trying desperately to get back in control of himself. He thought he was past this, he thought he was past turning into a crazed jackass any time Bruce pre...pre-Death came up, but apparently not.

“Jay?” You say quietly. Squeezing his eyes shut, he abruptly turns around, facing his back to you. “Just,” he manages to grunt out, “just give me a second.” This isn’t their fault, he hisses in his brain, they don’t deserve his temper. Flailing about, he finally remembers a breathing exercise Dick taught him years ago. Breathe in one two three four out one two three four five. In one two three four, out one two three four five. After about a minute or two, he feels in control again. 

“No,” he says out loud, turning around to face you again, anger leaving him in an exhale. “No, you don’t have to change.” The tired ache slowly creeps back in. “I’m sorry, doll, I shouldn’t’ve gotten angry at you, that wasn’t cool.”

“It’s okay,” you say after a moment. Your shoulders don’t relax from where they’re bunched up around your neck, though, and Jason wants to kick himself.

“Seriously,” he says instead. “You’re fine, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one who was wrong for shouting at you.” He needs to make it clear to you that he knows he was out of line, and that there hopefully won’t be a repeat performance of this. “It’s not even about you, it’s just…” He sighs. “Dick gave me that shirt, before. When I was, you know…”

“Still with Bruce,” you supply for him. That was much nicer than ‘When I was still on life number one,’ which is what Jason had been thinking. “Oh, Jay, I’m so sorry, if I had known…” and the compassion in your gaze is so bright he almost wants to take a step back. “You couldn’t’ve,” he says instead, because of course it wasn’t your fault. “It just took me by surprise, is all.”

You nod. “I understand.” And you don’t, not really, but he appreciates the effort. "I can try to be more...aware of stuff like that, in the future."

And Jason wants to say 'don't worry about it,' but what comes out instead is "thank you."

After a few moments of silence, Jason picks up the dirty gun and gets back to work, glancing at you worriedly every few moments. Your eyes follow him for a while, bright and sharp, but eventually you stretch your arms over your head and leave the chair. Jason expects you to go back to bed, and half wonders whether he should offer to take the couch, especially after what just happened, but instead you step into the living room and sit on the sofa, legs stretched out over his coffee table.

Jason cleans and stows the rest of his gear, washes his hands, and wipes down the countertop for good measure before collapsing onto the couch next to you. You turn your head to look at him. Your hackles are still up, and Jason feels sick with himself. “Are you sure you’re okay, doll?” He asks. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“No, no, it’s okay, I promise.” You flash him a smile, quick and dry, but he notices some of the tension leave you. “So I, um,” you clear your throat, eyes darting away from his. “I really missed you, while you were away.” You hold his gaze then, drawing your lower lip into your mouth, which always drives him a little crazy.

He’s bad at this feelings stuff, he knows he is, which is why he surprises himself when the words “I really missed you, too,” roll off his tongue, easy as anything.

Your lips curve into another smile, syrup-slow this time. He’s momentarily stunned, and when you bring that smile closer to him and peck him on the lips, he has to remind himself to kiss back.

Jason thinks you’ll stop after a minute, and it surprises him when you don’t. Instead, you let a soft sight escape and tilt your head for a better angle, licking sweet into this mouth. He’s not complaining, Jason loves kissing you, so he follows your lead and brings a hand to your waist. You hum when he does, and press yourself closer to him, almost climbing into his lap. Jason’s never been one to miss an opportunity, so he grabs you by the hips and pulls you squarely onto his thighs.

The movement startles you enough that you break from his lips, panting slightly as you reorient yourself. “Hi,” you say, still catching your breath. “Hi,” he answers, then surges up slightly to kiss you again. It’s filthier this time, your breath coming fast as you wind your arms around his neck and start running your fingers through his hair. Jason loves it when you do this, loves feeling your small hands make their way over his scalp. Any remaining tiredness flees in the face of his slow-building arousal. How can he be tired when he’s got your ass in both hands?

When he squeezes lightly you exhale into his mouth and roll your hips against his. “Naughty, naughty,” he murmurs in your ear, smiling against it. “Don’t worry, I know how to make you feel good.”

Your triumphant smile catches him off-guard. “I know you do, baby,” you purr, placing your lips at the juncture of his neck.

His instincts ping lightly. You’re grinning like you’ve won something, or something has gone right. Jason thinks for a second, remembering your soft, too-innocent step out of the bedroom, hair perfectly out of place, at almost the exact moment he came home. This setup seems too good to be true, or at least unplanned. He reaches under your borrowed shirt and confirms his suspicions: you’re not wearing any underwear.

“You were after this the whole time, weren’t you?” You pull back and oh, your grin is wicked, lips cherry-red and glistening. In retaliation, Jason snakes a hand up your chest and pinches your left nipple, lightning-fast. The soft “oh!” you make in surprise is entirely worth it.

“This whole time, you just wanted to get in my pants?”

“Guilty.” There’s a smirk in your voice as you roll your hips again. “You don’t sound too upset about it,” you tease, and you must feel his hardening cock through his pants.

He’s not upset, but he can’t resist the opportunity to tease you a bit more. “That’s what the shirt was about, wasn’t it?” God, it’s so hard to make fun of you when you’re squirming in his lap. “You were trying to do that thing where you wear someone else’s clothing and they find it really sexy and all?”

You slow down there, stop rolling your hips. Shame coats your face as you direct your eyes at the floor. “Jay, I’m so sorry.”

Your shame doesn’t belong here, and Jason’s quick to ease it away. “It’s okay, doll.” He tugs the offending shirt off, tossing it carelessly to the side. “Besides, I happen to prefer you like this.”

You’re a sight to see. Completely naked, sitting pretty on his lap, and fixing him with a look he finds almost challenging. He wants to wipe it off, so he brings his left hand back to your breast, and this time his palm meets skin.

Your eyes flutter shut. “You ‘happen to prefer me like this,’ hmm?” you murmur, arching your back into his grip. “I can’t imagine why.”

“Oh, I think you can,” Jason says slyly, but you’re not listening, you’re too wrapped up in what his hands are up to. He loves it, loves touching you and knowing it’s driving you wild, so he gets his forefinger and thumb around your nipple and pinches lightly, how you like it. He looks up to see your eyes still shut. “Aren’t even looking at me, huh, princess? Can’t even look at me when I’m giving you what you want?” He mock sighs. “Is this it, then, you manipulate me into getting you off but then can’t even look at me while I’m touching you?”

You open your eyes and huff at him. “Yes, Jay, that’s it.”

He grins, and keeps going. “Is it that I’m piss ugly? That’s it, isn’t it, you don’t want to look at my fuck-ugly face?”

“I wish your fuck-ugly mouth would shut up,” you mutter.

“What was that?” Jason moves his hand back to your waist, and you pout at him. It looks so attractive on you.

“C’mon, Jay.” You yank at his hair. “You know you’re stupid hot,” and you’re right, he does know, but some of his scars are ugly and they tend to itch. But you know that, which is why your face softens. “You’re stupid hot, and it’s very distracting. Just shut up and kiss me, you’re being annoying.”

“Okay,” he says, easy, but instead of going for your lips he licks a stripe up your breast and closes his lips around your nipple, the right one this time. Your breath leaves you in a rush, and Jason thinks it’s the best sound he’s ever heard, but then your breathing comes back online a moment later. It’s punch-drunk and delicious, and gets to him in the best way. His cock is becoming harder and harder to ignore. A few seconds later and you’re making these small moans that are almost obscene, so he stays right where he is, with his hands alternating between giving your ass more attention and running up and down your back.

“Fuck, Jay,” you pant, clinging onto his shoulders for dear life. “Knew it, knew you would make me feel so good.”

Something occurs to him, and he sucks lightly one last time before pulling back and licking his lips. “Did you touch yourself, doll? While I was gone? Did you make yourself come?”

He has his answer when you look down and bite your lip again. “No, I, um,” and the innocent act you’re pulling is completely ruined by the small smile you’re fighting to keep off your face, but Jason doesn’t care. He doesn’t care. “I wanted you to do it, so I saved it for you.”

Fuck. Fuck. Your words go straight to his groin. The only thing he can think to do is to roll his hips against yours. You meet him there, moving torturously slow against the blunt head of his cock that’s now painful against his zipper. That bit of pain makes it so, so good, and for a few minutes he just moves with you, enjoying the feel of your body against his. Soon, you start talking again. “Jay, Jason, please, touch me,” you beg, your voice going tight as he rolls his hips.

“Where? You have to tell me where, sweetheart,” he murmurs. You stay silent for a few seconds, and then—

“My cunt. My cunt, Jay, and my clit, please.”

You never talk like that, ever, and the filth coming out of your mouth sends electricity crackling through his brain. He immediately stands up, taking you with him. You shriek a bit at being suddenly airborne, then crowd even closer to his chest and start sucking a hickey on his neck. Thoughts hazy, Jason makes for his bedroom and deposits you on his bed.

You quickly collect yourself, stretching out and preening on his rumpled sheets. Jason decides he needs to be naked immediately, and busies himself shucking off his pants and underwear and tearing off his shirt. When he looks at you again, night air cool against his skin, he sees your hand moving between your legs.

Quick as a flash, he darts onto the bed, grabbing your hand with one of his own and placing himself squarely between your thighs. “No, no,” he chides you, pressing your hand into the mattress above your head. “Come on, doll, you’ve waited this long. Let me.” And he brings his free hand to your crotch, finding your clit and rubbing the pad of his index finger against it.

“God, finally,” you hiss, bucking your hips against his hand. He chuckles at that. “Love how impatient you are, love how slick your pussy is.”

You look him in the eye, then. “For you, Jay.”

Well, hell's bells.“For me,” he agrees, then neatly slides his index finger into you. “Ngh--!” He smiles at the aborted sound you make. Jason spends a few minutes here, moving his fingers in and out of you, enjoying the way you’re shivering under his touch. Eventually, your voice stops him.

“Fuck me, Jay,” you plead. “Fuck me with your cock.”

He growls, then reaches for his bedside table. Yanking open the drawer, he fishes out a condom, then backs up to open it and roll it on. When he looks back at you he sees your eyes are wide. “You sure you want to do this?” He asks, just to check in.

You nod, then scoot back so you’re flush against the pillows, laying flat on the bed. He moves back over you, coming to rest between your thighs again, one hand on the wall above the bed for support. You gasp as he slowly pushes into you, a bit at a time. “This okay?” He asks.

“No,” you say shortly, and then you hook your legs around his waist and drag yourself toward him, taking him inside entirely. He narrowly misses biting his own tongue as sparks fly behind his eyes. “Go faster,” you order him.

Jason looks down at you. “You’re six different kinds of crazy, doll,” he says, but he smiles in spite of himself, heeds you and starts thrusting, pulling out of you a bit only to fill you again as his hips snap against yours. “You like it,” you say. He can’t believe how good you feel, how tight you are around him.

“Yeah, I do.” And of course he does.

The two of you spend a few minutes trying to match each other’s pace, hips stuttering in the face of your fragmented concentration. Eventually, though, you’re moving together again, and every time you meet one of his strokes you start to make a low sound in the back of your throat. Jason a;ways makes sure to keep his eyes open when you're fucking, and he's had them trained on you from the start. He loves how you look stretched out below him, how your breasts jump lightly when he fucks into you, how your mouth is shaped into a perfect o with lust. It’s a heady feeling, knowing he can do this to you, and he feels almost drunk with it.

Not that the lust and desire is at all one-sided. Suddenly, your muscles squeeze tight around his cock and he almost loses his mind. Before he starts to go completely he reaches a hand between you and starts rubbing at your clit.

“Ah-ah!” you shout, hands moving to his shoulders. He barely registers the feeling of your fingernails biting into his skin, all he can think about is how good you feel and how he can make you feel good. He starts swiping a thumb across your clit every time his hips slam against yours, and the string of swear words you let out in response is delicious.

“Ff-fuck. Fuck, Jay, I’m going to come,” and suddenly you do, face scrunching up below him as you ride the crest of your orgasm. Your walls clamp down on him, and Jason thrusts once more, twice, three times, and then he follows you blissfully over the edge. For a few moments, the two of you keep still, panting together and staring sightlessly into the dark as you wait for the waves of pleasure to subside enough for you to surface. Eventually, Jason wakes up and out of himself to the feeling of you planting a kiss on his lips. He gives himself a shake, then kisses back eagerly. It’s sloppy, but you don’t seem to mind, pulling back after a few seconds to sigh contentedly. “Well,” you say, dragging your arms down his shoulders, “that was nice.”

“You’re being stingy, doll,” Jason berates you lightly, pulling out of you and removing the condom. “That was a few levels beyond ‘nice.’” He ties off the condom and drops it neatly in the trash, before rejoining you on his bed and pulling you to his chest. You waste no time snuggling against him, fitting your head into the hollow of his neck.

Jason feels brave, so he says “I’m really glad you’re here,” before dropping a light kiss to your hair.

You reach up to stroke along his forearm where it rests on your chest. “I’m really glad I’m here too. And, um, I’m really glad we’re together.” You tilt your head up at that, shy eyes peering up to gauge his reaction. It’s almost too easy to meet you halfway. “I am, too.” A beat, and then “does this mean I’m calling you my girlfriend now?”

You smile pleasantly at the ceiling. “I like that.” And Jason does, too.

[ramheavenandhell]

Virginity For Sale

AN: Another fanfic that was heavily inspired by a porn flick. To my defense, the bottom in the clip was a really cute twink and I honestly was imagining Rick and Morty the entire time I watched it. I'd put a link of that clip here, but I'm afraid, it was deleted already. (Also sorry for posting nothing last week and for posting late this week ^^') Warnings: Rick/Morty smut, prostitution, first time, hands-free orgasm, anal sex, also a bit dark and angst-y Summary: Until a week ago, he hadn't even known that this was a thing. That Ricks on the Citadel were paying good money just to take a Morty's virginity. But it was very real and he was here right now and about to lose his…

Virginity For Sale Hastily he sucked in each breath of air as if it were his last one. His heart was racing so fast as if he was running a marathon. "You're such a cute little thing…" Warm breath ghosted over his ear and he could feel the vibrations of the deep voice travelling through his entire body. The tip of a finger, trailed feather light over his soft skin, tracing invisible patters over his chest and stomach. A whimper escaped him when it reached one of his already stiff nipples, circling around it before flicking the sensitive nub and forcing a loud moan from his pink lips. Face reddened by his embarrassment from the sounds that he emitted, he clamped a hand over his mouth. "Don't do that. I want to hear you…" A twist of his nipple was accompanying the whispered order, eliciting another loud moan. "…I wanna hear every little sound you make." Shyly, he nodded and lowered his hand again, his fingers twisting into the soft material of the downy pillow. The petite brunet was completely naked, safe for a black bow tie that hung around his neck. All of his clothes were strewn on the floor of the expensive suite, white shirt, black jacket and dress pants already long since forgotten. His ribcage rose and sunk with each hasty breath, the fingers that were stimulating his body not really helping him calm down. He half laid on the sheets of the luxurious bed and half on the body of his…customer? Master? He still wasn't sure what to label the man who had paid for this one night. Sweat ran down the soft curves of his body, gathering as tiny pools in the grooves and his member was already fully erect and begging for attention. He hadn't been touched there yet safe for a few teasing pumps in the beginning of this game and he just wanted to reach down, relief himself of the tension, but he wasn't allowed. "No touching, Morty! If anyone touches your dick, it's me!" He had whimpered in response, but he had to obey. Even though he still felt ashamed to be even in this situation and almost regretted agreeing to all of this, he really needed the money. And it was really a lot of money that was involved! Although he knew that he wouldn't get as much as his "customer" had paid when he had bid in the auction for his virginity, it was still a hefty sum that would keep his head over water for a while. Honestly, he hadn't even realized how much of a big deal this whole thing was until he had been led into this luxurious suite and looked through the windows with panorama view – being able to oversee all of the Citadel from this high place. No, actually the huge scale had already begun to show itself when he had been told to shower, was given clean and expensive-looking clothes and then led on the stage, looking around the huge hall and down at all of those rich and fancily dressed men, who began to bid on him as if he was just a piece of meat. Expensive meat, none the less, as he had listened in shock at how much they were willing to bid for this one night with him… The auction winner wore more clothes than he did right now, still clad in his white shirt although unbuttoned, merely his tie gone and resting innocently on the nightstand. He did have the audacity to pull off his pants and underwear though, his naked and slightly hairy legs intertwining with Morty's own. For having the money to "waste" it on something like this and having worn such a fine business suit, it was obvious to the teen that he wasn't just some blue collar worker Rick, but someone who stood in the higher ranks on the Citadel. Probably some kind of CEO, if Morty had to guess. Another gasp escaped him as he felt the fingers again – this time cold and slick – gliding over the pucker of his back entrance. It was all just so surreal. Until a week ago, he hadn't even known that this was a thing. That Ricks on the Citadel were paying good money just to take a Morty's virginity. But it was very real and he was here right now and about to lose his… "Ahh!" He couldn't help but squirm as a lone slim finger suddenly slid into him. A hand stroked reassuringly over his stomach, massaging the muscles that had tensed up in reaction. "Relax, sweetheart…" The gentle touches and the sensual voice did wonders to his body and Morty slowly relaxed again. It was okay. It was only this one time and he would never have to do this again. He would never get to see this Rick for the entire rest of his life again. And it was probably going to be over sooner than he'd expected. …as much as he tried, these thoughts did very little to calm his still jittering nerves. Again a moan as a second digit joined the first, slowly sliding out, then back in again, rotating against the tight muscles. The fingers spread in a scissoring motion, trying to open him up more, moving more insistently against his insides and Morty didn't know any more if he wanted to move away or closer towards them. "Hmm~ you're so tight and hot. I can't wait to be finally inside you." The hot whisper against his ear send shivers through the brunet's fragile body. Movements became faster, displaying the Rick's growing impatience and before Morty knew what happened, three fingers were thrusting in and out of his orifice. When they eventually retreated all together, he unconsciously whined, suddenly feeling so empty and his hole clenched around nothingness. The next moment, he felt ashamed of himself again. He really shouldn't be enjoying this so much, it was just business after all. If it wasn't for the money that he so desperately needed, he wouldn't even be here right now. With a face as red as a cherry, he looked down as the Rick rearranged his legs, forcing him to spread them wider as he placed his feet to rest on the man's thighs. Now opened up and granting the other better access, the elder positioned his cock at his entrance. 'This is it…' Morty thought with a strange mix of fear and excitement as he felt the pulsing head pressing against his pucker, his heart hammering wildly against his ribcage. A brush of lips against the lobe of his ear was his last warning. "Deep breath now." "Aaahn!" Morty flung his head back as the Rick entered him the next moment in a single thrust. Instinctively, he clamped down on the intruder, his body trying to force out the foreign object, which did not belong there. Morty gasped for air, tiny tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. Thanks to the preparations, the pain wasn't that intense, but it was still there. Soft kisses were peppered over his cheek. "Shh, shh, sweetie." Again, the gentle gestures combined with a hand that was stroking his thigh, helped him slowly relax again. Taking deep breaths, he felt how his insides released their tight grip on the hot flesh. The Rick almost purred and the boy moved his head against him like a grateful cat that was nuzzling against its owner's hand. "Good boy…" The low murmur sent another wave of heat through Morty's body. "…still halfway to go…" What?! Again, the brunet threw his head back as the other entered him the rest of the way with another powerful push of his hips. "Uuuhnn!" Tears streamed over heated cheeks now. He felt so full, the other filling him in a way that he couldn't put into words. It was as if the length was penetrating him more than should be possible, as if Rick was invading far deeper and the girth stretching and filling more than just his body while he was nestled balls-deep inside. As if they had been joined on more than just the physical plain when he had forced himself so intimately inside him. Thankfully, it wasn't as painful as the initial entering, but it still felt uncomfortable as his walls tried to accommodate to the silk-covered steel. Again, he was reminded that he wasn't alone in this and once more lips brushed over his glowing cheek. "So good…you feel heavenly, Morty…" The praise made him feel hot and cold at the same time, gliding through him like a melting piece of butter in a heated pan. One of Rick's hands reached for his cheek and angled his head so he could engage in a kiss with the younger. Morty didn't resist. Somehow, it felt like he had lost. Lost a battle of some sort. But, he decided that he didn't care anymore as he gave himself completely over, succumbing to the other's lips and tongue. A muffled whine echoed through the spacious room when the elder decided that he had given them both more than enough time and began to move, drawing out a small distance only to push back in again. Rick quickly set a rhythm, opting for a decent pace that wasn't slow, but also not too fast or hard yet. Whatever kind of discomfort Morty may have felt before was quickly forgotten and he groaned in the other's mouth, being a little surprised when Rick answered in kind. They continued to make out passionately for a while until the elder separated from him again, stopping his movements to reposition the younger a little. Morty wondered what that was about, but practically screamed as the other began to fuck into him again. Bright dots were flashing in front of his eyes, the slight shift allowing the other to touch a spot inside him that literally made the teen see stars. Rick stuck to that angle, driving inside the tight heat again and again, and slowly made the brunet go insane. The foreign feeling of having that pulsing flesh move inside him had been odd, but also strangely good and arousing after he had gotten used to it. However, this was on a different level. Having this one special spot touched was so amazing that he couldn't describe it, the closest equivalent to it was probably like being jerked off from the inside. Also, he noticed that he was quickly approaching his orgasm and released another whining sound. Morty tried to hold on, the fingers that were still buried in the soft pillow clenching tightly, his other hand leaving light scratch marks on the skin of Rick's hip. He was so close, all he would need was just one small touch, but he wasn't allowed and Rick wasn't touching him, denying him this relief. Still, he felt like it became too much and not knowing what else to do, weakly tried to squirm away. His attempts were halted and Rick firmly pulled him back into his next thrust. "Naaaahh!" Morty's back arched slightly, his moan laced with surprise as hot wetness suddenly spilled over his abdomen, his hips giving another jerk. In disbelieve, he glanced down, confirming for himself that he had just ejaculated. Just how? Rick hadn't even touched him! Morty hadn't known that this was even possible. Still, the urge to give himself a few relieving squeezes was there and without even thinking about it, his hand wandered to his still angry red cock. The moment that he brushed against the heated flesh, long fingers wrapped around his wrist and pulled the hand away again. The silent command "Don't touch!", rang loud and clear in his head with the action and as he let his limb be guided back to its former place against Rick's hip without resistance, he didn't dare to disobey again and obediently stayed there this time. The elder was still thrusting into his now hypersensitive opening, his movements having slowed a little though. Eventually, he halted altogether and showed at least an ounce of mercy for the poor boy, grasping the sensitive organ that still begged for contact. With strong and deliberate strokes, he milked the member, forcing out the last droplets of cum that dribbled on Morty's abdomen to join the rest, the boy moaning weakly as he did this. Rick let go of his length, his dick flopping back to rest on his pelvis and to the brunet's surprise he was still half-hard – or maybe he was getting hard again already? A part of Morty expected the other to start moving again now, still being aware of the hot presence inside him, but he gasped when he felt slim fingertips instead. With hooded eyes, he watched how Rick played with the small puddle of semen, slowly smearing it over his quivering stomach and all the way up his chest. "Ahh…hah…" The teen couldn't help but moan softly again from the teasing touches, his body trembling like a leaf. He lost sight of the fingers when they left his skin and rose higher, but he could hear the unmistakable sounds of the elder licking and groaning afterwards. "So delicious~" Again, a wave of heat shot through the younger's body from the praise and the thought of the other tasting his cum and —god, just why did he have to do that?! "Haaaah!" Rick began to move again, his thrusts quickly gaining speed. It was apparent that the elder was beginning to get impatient, seeking his own climax now. So, his fingers dug into the teen's hip and soft thigh, hard enough to leave bruises, as he rutted into him. Also becoming more vocal now, his heavy grunts and moans entered Morty's ear and the difference was so drastic from the gentleness before that the teen felt as if he was suddenly in bed with a wild animal…which didn't deterred his arousal in the slightest though. The teen was getting louder now, too, practically screaming as the elder's hips repeatedly slammed into him, deep and hard, and hitting that one spot again. As if he would still need the incentive, fingers wound around his again fully hardened length now and stroked it in a matching rhythm to the thrusts. Morty knew he wouldn't be able to last long like this, his cock drooling precum like crazy and slicking up his shaft and Rick's hand, aiding the pumping movements. "Fuuuck… so good…for me…" Hot breath fanned over his ear and cheek as the other cursed. He could only whimper in answer. "Hngh…hah…aaah! R-Rick…I…uhnn…Oh god!" The hand that had previously been twisting the pillowcase held tight onto the other's arm that had slithered behind his neck as Rick was searching for better leverage. His other hand was reaching around the elder's back as he tried to meet the hammering motions. He felt so hot and was so hard, it was almost painful. "R-Ri—AAAAAAaaaaahhh!" His back arched sharply and the back of his head dug into the pillow as his seed spilled over his sweaty chest. He could feel his insides spasming around Rick's hardness, the rhythmical squeezes triggering the elder's own orgasm. A powerful and deep thrust and Morty called out once more as the head of Rick's cock jabbed into his prostrate again, forcing another spurt from his dick as hot liquid spilled inside him. The elder rode out his orgasm. Another hard thrust, releasing more of his cum inside the teen while more jizz shot onto Morty's chest. "Uhn!" It almost became too much for the brunet, each strong thrust feeling like a climax on its own now, as if the waves of pleasure would never ebb but only rise higher to swallow him whole. …and then Rick stopped, buried as deeply as he possibly could, emptying the last he had to give. Heavily, Morty collapsed back on the bed, panting as if he suffered from an asthma attack, his mind not yet entirely returned from its journey to heaven. A pained whimper escaped his mouth as the other withdrew from his hypersensitive opening and the body underneath him shifted to lay down more comfortably. Silence followed, safe for the gasps of the bed's occupants. As cum dribbled from his used hole, Morty felt this strange emptiness inside him again. He began to worry his lower lip out of habit, feeling the awkward atmosphere return that he had first felt when he had entered this room and didn't know what to do or to expect. Just this time, it felt even heavier than before. His sweaty body began to shiver as it cooled down to room temperature, which wasn't that high in the air-conditioned suite. Trying to hold back a wince, he rolled over to sit up on the bed, looking for his clothes to get dressed again. "You don't have to leave right away." Rick's voice interrupted his careful scanning of the floor. "The room's already paid, so you can stay the night. If you want. I don't really care." The teen could feel the nonchalant shrug, before the other also got up to raid the mini-bar. He turned to watch how the older retrieved a small bottle from the fridge, opened it and swallowed its contents in one go. Then his eyes wandered over the mattress and crumpled sheets. This bed was certainly better than what would await him back in Morty Town and even if he was going to get quite a hefty sum of money now, who knew when he would ever have the chance to spend a night in an actual suite again. Rick placed the empty bottle on the nightstand next to his tie and grabbed the remote to turn on a giant flat screen TV as he got back into bed and drew the covers over his body. His disinterest clearly showed that he gave zero fucks if the boy would decide to stay or leave now. In fact, he was acting so indifferent about it as if this hadn't been a big deal for him at all, as if these auctions were normal for him and he bedded a virgin Morty every week. …Maybe it really wasn't such a big deal to Rick, but it kind of felt like one to Morty. Even though he knew that he should feel about this as uncaring as the other. He looked down at the sheets again, spotting the stains that were slowly drying up to crust on the otherwise pristine bedspread, pondering. "…is it really okay if I stay the night?" "Eh, sure." Rick didn't even look at him. "You were a good fuck and the bed is big enough for two. And as I said, all of this is paid already, so would be kind of a waste, right?" Giving a slight nod, the brunet turned around again and crawled under the covers, drawing them up to his nose. He closed his eyes and blended out the sounds of the TV, feeling so alone right now despite the other's presence. It should be okay for this one night, Morty thought and exhaustion took over, guiding him slowly into the land of restless dreams. After all, he already lost, so there was no point in fighting anymore…

[maiakana]

Accent - Lee Felix

Stray Kids

masterlist

Key: fluff, humor, honestly some ranting haha

Characters: reader x felix

Count: 3.1k words

Part: 1 2 3

Description: who knew a late night run to the grocery store also meant running into a boy with a peculiar voice, literally.

Note: this was my first chapter of a fic I wanted to write but I kinda liked it as a one shot so here we go! I’m still learning so bare with the writing and mistakes! most likely will make a part 2 or 3 but no promises segrtergsefb

GIF Originally Posted by @felixeslee

You tugged your scarf closer to your face as you walked down the streets of Seoul. You were creating a mental map in your head of the area surrounding you.

Although you've been living in Seoul for 3 years already, you haven't quite gotten the hang of going around. Having almost no other connections in the country has also been making it more difficult.

The words were ringing in your ears, the lingering chill that spiked down your spine, as if they were just spoken.

"Y/N I forbid you, I swear you better come back here before you regret it."

Old news you didn’t need to think about, baggage you were still letting go.

It was later in the night, most residents and tourists have retreated into their homes and hotels by now.

However, a good handful of people were still milling about, friends hanging out, adults having late night drinks, or late night shopping. Specifically grocery shopping, which was where you fell in the categories.

The streets were illuminated by golden glows and neon colored signs, advertising hole-in-the-wall restaurants and tourist attractions. Instead, what caught your eye was everyone's fan favorite: the 24 hour convenience store, it indeed deserved that name.

A breeze from outside rushed behind you as you entered the store, your brown hair flew around your face, along with your scarf. You grabbed a basket with one hand as the other is busy trying to tame your airborne hair.

You started down the aisles, picking out the cheapest food items and ingredients you could find. The life of a student.

There was no one else in the store but the cashier, an old man who was busy watching the small TV monitor on the wall and counting money at the register, most likely his earnings from earlier in the day.

You hadn’t gone grocery shopping in a long time, living in a small dorm by yourself didn’t really prompt a lot of needs that needed to be replenished often. Not to mention your lack of eating, sometimes remembering mealtimes was easier said than done.

You filled your basket with the last few snacks that your hands could grabbed before striding towards the register. You politely greeted the cashier, reaching into the pocket of your long coat and pulling out a few coupons and cash, ready to hand them over.

While the old man scanned your items, you noticed all the posters and pictures plastered all over the wall behind him.

Idol groups: boys and girls alike, all very beautiful, a little unreal you might add. Many of them were group photo shoots but some had members individual headshots.

You recognized many groups displayed, from the big-shots like BTS, EXO, and Twice. To upcoming phenomenons like NCT's 18 member super group, just to name a few.

A sad smile curved on your lips, you had a push and pull relationship with idol groups, never quite cemented your opinions on them.

You've never had a issues with the idols themselves, in fact you used to be a huge fan, following so many groups, listening to their music, and even learning their fanchants, the whole shabang. That was the pull towards the appeal. Idols used to be your role models for as long as you could remember.

Repeat that: used to be.

The industry that produced Idols was what killed your appeal. That's the push. When you were younger you had no idea what it took to be in the limelight of the idol industry, of the trainee life.

But who could you blame, a majority of the world never knows that it takes to be successful, you were no different.

Over time, the idea of boys and girls your age being subjected to their looks and physical appearance, whether their voices were deemed alright, and collapsing from over exerting their bodies dancing. It was all too much for you, even as someone on the side lines.

Don't even get yourself started on the negatives of the fans and fandoms. However, the only light to shed on this was that at least Kpop isn’t the only industry that had extremes among those that enjoy it. Western music fans that were toxic over there, were just as extreme too.

You knew that most fans were regular people and just enjoy the music and the bands but sometimes the polarizing few become too much. Maybe it's human nature to have bad apples everywhere.

One incident you remembered a few years ago was the Shinee’s Taemin and APink’s Eaeun situation. A perfect example of the viciousness of fans and their hate and outbursts whenever they saw their idols do something they don't like.

They'd stalk, harass, and belittle anyone that was even in a 10 ft vicinity of the star. Following them around saying disgusting insults, hammering the nails even further. You don't think you’ve ever seen two people in such distress before.

It was such a shame really, for all we know Shinee's makane may have really loved her like he said on the show.

Now years later, the two are left to only avoid each other on stages and music shows when their groups cross paths. Minimizing contact at all cost to protect Eaeun from further harassment for just being around him.

And that wasn't even a scandal, some fans just couldn't stand their oppa being potentially happy with another person.

to be honest that whole section was me being emo after I watched so many videos about it and for all i know none of it was true or real or it was real and they were hurt because of it, either way i don’t feel like deleting it so sorry to anyone annoyed by it lmao

Although idols weren’t on your radar anymore, you would always know of them, it's inevitable. You were living in the time where they were growing the most international.

Music has always been a love of yours and that's all you’ve been focusing on ever since you came to Seoul. That's probably the last connection you had to idols, your love for music, your love for what you do.

The old man finished ringing you up, bagging all of your groceries and handing you the receipt.

"Hold on dear," the elder said, as he crouched down and shuffled with something under the desk.

Restlessly, you tapped your fingers against the counter. Looking around at all the idol merchandise, your eyes were drawn on to the TV monitor.

"N E X T  W E E K  O N  M N E T!" 

On the TV screen, many different clips of a few boys wearing dark clothes in a dance studio flashed by. There was a voice over, by an older man, explaining the tasks the trainees had to overcome. It was an idol survival show.

In some flashes they were sitting in a half circle talking intensely, in others they were dancing to choreography as one person sat out giving thorough feedback. However, the last clip showed a lot of the boys individually, either writing lyrics or practicing the lines.

You had barely caught the large strikingly red S and K at the end of the clip before the old man bounced up from searching below, stealing your attention again.

"Aha I found it!"

He brought out a small booklet, as if it was a manual you’d get along with a new speaker you'd buy. A manual it was not. You looked at the cover featuring a subtle sky blue with the Hangul lettering in white.

SCOUTING: COMPANY AUDITION & EMPLOYMENT INFORMATION

"You, young lady, look like these idol kids that are hung up on this wall," he gestured behind him while placing the small book into one of the bags. "We're given these little things all the time by a handful of companies to 'scout for rough potential.’ We only give them out during the day but since you're here so late I figured why not give you one eh?"

You stared oddly at the bags full of your food and now with a book that's basically a catalog of idol company hotlines. Looking back and forth between the wall of posters and the old man's kind smile you felt your cheeks blush at the gesture as you hesitantly smiled back.

"Uhh . . . thank you sir you are very generous," you stiffly bow, thanking him for the bags, still slightly baffled by the idol comment.

Ironic. You still remembered being told the same thing once, but that it’d be the only thing you’d be known for.

How superficial.

To save yourself from further embarrassment you briskly headed for the door. The chilly fall air brushed against your cheek, the bags in your hands slightly swaying due to the quick pace. Walking only a few feet away from the convenience store, you looked down at the bags thinking about what the man said.

Yeah right, become an idol your ass.

Before you could look up you felt your right shoulder collide into another figure, earning a loud yelp from the both of you. You dropped your bags as you stumbled slightly losing your balance while the other person, who you realized was a guy, stumbled on his step too.

The guy reached his hands out and gripped your arms on both sides steadying you. Because of the small tug from his motion, you had accidentally taken a step towards him, slightly closing the space between you guys.

"Are you alright?" a deep voice asked, filled with concern. Shocked, our eyes flickered to meet his. English?

He had ebony brown hair parted on the left side of his face. It was a tad longer than most of the men’s hair you see around but the way it flowed just to his eyebrows perfectly framed his sharp pale face.

He was decked in all black clothing, sneakers and all. He was only maybe 3 or 4 inches taller than you yet his dark hoodie and jeans seemed to make his figure tower over you. His jaw was angular, skin a little paler than yours and lightly dusted across his nose and cheeks were freckles.

bahaha apparently he is 5' 7  rn its okay tho because i’m hella short

"Yeah I am,"  you mumbled back, stunned by his dark eyes staring down at you.

He grinned at you showing of a white smile. He gently let go of your arms and crouched down to pick up the fallen bags. "I think we're both going to run into something worse than each other someday if we don't pay attention to where we're going."

You quirked up an eyebrow. "You speak English?"

"I don’t know, does it sound like I'm speaking Spanish?" he chuckled at his own joke. 

His voice was like the ocean itself. A deep flowing tone, miles under sea level, it was a complete contrast from the pretty face it was coming from.

Your ears seemed to ring listening to his voice. An accent of some sort? It wasn't an American accent like your own, nor was it European, it was distinct. You couldn't really put a finger on it.

"Don't take offense to this but are you a foreigner too?" you questioned.

"Hmm I wonder what gave it away," he flashed you an amused look, carefully handing over the bags full of your groceries. "But yes I am, you?"

"I guess we're both in the foreigners club here," you said looking up at him. "I'm from the States."

"Ahh so I got an American on my hands."

You furrowed your eyebrows at him half amused and half curious.

"And what's that supposed to mean huh?" you shot back. He laughed at your counter, the happy sound echoing through the street.

"I knew you couldn't have been another Aussie," he shoved his hands in his pockets, tilting his head a bit, as if thinking about how he wants to form his next comment. "Your accent made that clear, love."

You couldn’t help but giggle at his words, him following suit. So he's Korean Australian, that's new. 

You thought it was only the British that said love.

An electronic ding rings out of the boy's jacket. Quickly pulling his hands out of his pocket with a phone in grip, he opened up the device to view a message he just received.

Sighing, he typed a quick reply to the other person on the other end. You noticed the slight bags under his eyes as his faces was illuminated from the phone. His posture was relaxed but slightly rigid in some movements.

He was clearly exhausted.

When he looked back at you, you took a step back putting some distance between each other, bending down and respectfully bowed to him, greeting him in Korean.

He bowed and greeted you back.

"I'm sorry for bumping into you, I didn't realize it was possible to bump into someone in plain sight," he said, shyly scratching the back of his neck.

You waved him off. "It's okay, I should've been watching where I was going but thank you for helping me."

"It's the least I can do after I sent you spiraling," he replied. He flinched as a few more buzzes went of from his phone, clearly whoever was texting him wasn't willing to wait much longer.

Time to go.

"Looks like my fellow foreigner has to go," You said, tilting your head to the side. "Seems urgent."

"Just my hyungs," he sighed, rubbing his eyes a little. "It was my turn to get snacks for home. Didn't realize I was on a time frame though."

"Lose a bet?"

"Something like that," he said. He held a hand out with the same grin on his face from before. "Well Miss America it was nice bumping into you."

You reached out to shake his hand.

His big hand I'm sorry I snorted writing this haha was warm, delicately holding onto your smaller one, they seemed to tingle at the touch. "I could say the same thing too, Aussie."

You let go of each other hands and exchange a small bow again. The brown haired boy started a step towards the convenience store until he paused and turned back to look at you. He seemed to be debating if it was worth to ask you something.

"Are you busy tomorrow?" He asked.

"Haven't even known each other for an hour," you jokingly raised an eyebrow at him. "Straight forward I see."

He laughed while taking off his beanie, running his fingers through his hair a little. He played the edges of his sweatshirt looking a way a bit, fidgeting.

"Well if you aren't doing anything tomorrow night you should come to Sinchon. I heard there's a lot of busking in the streets since it'll be Friday," he rushed.

"And you want me to come watch with you?" you pressed back. It was an interesting hang out choice for sure, but he's sparked your curiosity. You wanted to mess with him a little longer. "How will I find you? Doesn't seem safe to just give my phone number to a stranger I met on the street. I mean come on we haven't even exchanged names."

His face perked up. Clearly surprised that you were playing along with him. "It's Felix, Lee Felix. And what does my favorite foreigner call themselves?

"Ha ha ha you think you're so witty don't you? I'm Min y/n."

His eyes glistened under the city lights, you felt your heart pound faster at the way his face changed into content after learning your name. "So what do you say miss y/n? Care to join a night of fun with your favorite foreigner?"

"Hmm, maybe you'll see me there," you joked sarcastically. "How am I supposed to turn down the offer of a lifetime?"

You weren’t lying to be honest, even though the idea of watching some buskers was interesting, you weren’t completely sure if you could go. You had a long schedule for tomorrow but you didn't have the heart to ruin his excitement.

Felix's hand shot down back into his pocket to fish out his phone again before handing it to you looking away quickly, avoiding your eyes.

"Maybe you'll feel better if we had a way to let each other know when we'll be there," he mumbled, his cheeks tinting a bit pink.

"Is that how you're going to ask for my number?"

"If it's working then yes."

Laughing at his honestly you gingerly took the phone out of his hands and put in your number. His fingers lightly brushed against your own causing tingles to travel up your hands. 

Ignoring the flutters in your stomach, you frantically typed in your info, becoming very embarrassed every time you made a typo. Feeling a heavy gaze watching you, you had barely missed the small comment that slipped out of his lips. 

"Cute," he muttered under his breath.

You felt like digging yourself in a hole while you waited for him to put in his own number on your phone, openly spamming in some middle school emoji choices for the heck of it.

His cheeks raised up as a smile lit up on his face. "Can't wait to see you there!" You nodded happily at him trying to calm the nerves that were spreading through your body. 

What kind of trouble were you getting yourself into?

You urged him to finally head towards the store, it was like you could hear more message alerts already coming of his phone from a mile away. Waving goodbye as we walked away from each other, you couldn't help but feel the excitement building up already inside. You haven't had a light hearted conversation like this in a long time.

You closed your eyes seeing the painted image of his dark eyes looking down at you, hearing his deep voice that hilariously did not match his face. 

His voice.

You whipped around from where you were, only a few feet further from the store and where you just spoke. You spotted the same boy right in front of the store, just about to push the door in.

"Hey Aussie!" 

Your shout echoed through the empty dark street. The sky was clear and the moon was out, a perfect chilly day in November. 

He turned to your direction surprised at your call. Doing the same head tilt like before, he was about to reply until you beat him to it.

"I like your accent." 

His eyes twinkled a bit as he smirked back, amused.

"I like yours too."

[staycalmandlovekpop]

Who You Are Pt.2

Scenario: Im Jaebum has a dissociative identity disorder/multiple personality disorder and he meets this girl that he didn’t know was his private therapist.

A/N: It’s been quite a long time since I posted! I’ve never done a series before and it’s not easy to update/write often cause of life and responsibilities (Kudos to all the writers out there that update frequently!) I won’t make any more promises on how fast I can release these chapters, but if you’ll be patient with me I will continue this series over a period of time~. 

Read Pt.1 Here

JB’s eyes widened in shock. You were the only woman that rejected and was repulsed by his flirting. He couldn’t believe that you actually believed him (ish) and is willingly kissing him now. Although JB wanted to enjoy this moment of victory longer, he knew that he would have to go back into Jaebum’s consciousness if was gonna score another kiss from you in the future.

As you pulled back from the kiss, you watched as Jaebum’s body went limp and caught him before he fell over.

“I’m not getting paid enough for this...” You murmured to yourself as you managed to prop him against the wall.

You were about to call GOT7’s manager when you suddenly heard footsteps coming towards your direction. You began to panic. What would other K-pop idols think if they saw you with Jaebum passed out like this? Without thinking straight, you quickly wrapped your arms around Jaebum's waist tightly. "Hey, I heard some commotion back here so I was going to check it out and see if-WHOA" The owner of the shop stopped talking when he saw you and Jaebum "cuddling" by the corner. "Oops haha nevermind. Sorry~. Get back to what you guys were doing~."

You pulled back once the owner and left and sighed. Is it possible for you to get Jaebum out of here without looking suspicious? You dialed GOT7's manager when Jaebum suddenly started to stir awake. 

"Hello?" 

"Hi, um...So he kind of dissociated into JB and then he passed out again. Is there any way you can come and help me bring him back to the dorm?"

"Okay. I'll be there in 15 minutes." GOT7's manager answered.

"Thanks. I think he's waking up right now, so I'll try to keep him calm for now." As you hung up, Jaebum's eyes fluttered open and his gaze landed on you. 

"Um excuse me, but what are you looking at?" He asked in a sassy tone.

"Uhh...Jaebum...?" You said with uncertainty. 

"Pfft no. I'm Nora."

Your eyes widened. NORA??!! 

"Nora...Nora as in Jaebum's cat??"

Nora brushed her hair behind her ear. "I'll take that as a compliment that you think I'm cute and pretty like a cat."

DID A NEW PERSONALITY JUST FORM? OH BOY. You weren't too excited to get to know more about this one.

As Nora busied herself by taking selcas next to the ice cream shop's decorated walls, you texted the manager.

"Um nevermind...She-” You caught yourself and deleted “she” and replaced it back with “he” to not worry their manager. “He just woke up...We’ll meet you back at the dorms soon."

You turned your attention back to Nora who was busy scrolling through Instagram. “Hey Nora? How old are you?” You asked. Might as well get as much information on the new personality as possible.

“I’m 12...and a half.” She replied, not looking up from her phone.

“Okay...Do you know why Jaebum created you?”

Nora scoffed. “You think that I would tell you our secrets? Think again, old hag.”

Old hag? Technically, she’s physically “older” than you because she’s in the body of an 25-year-old man…

“You know, I’m only-”

“22? Yeah, I know.”

“Yeah! So don’t go calling me a-. Wait...how did you already know? I’ve only told JB my age because he wanted to see if he could make me call him ‘Oppa’ (which failed cause there was no freakin’ way you were going to call him that).”

“Cause we all share Jaebum’s general knowledge, duh~.” Nora said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You figured that you weren’t going to get the answers you wanted if you got up all in her case, so you decided to take advantage of her pride by playing dumb.

“Uh general knowledge...?”

Nora crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “Uh yeah, it’s exactly how it sounds. It’s the common knowledge that we all have access to.”

“What? I don’t get it... Then why didn’t Jaebum know who I was when all the other personalities did?”

“O H  M Y  G O O D N E S S. Aren’t you a nurse? Shouldn’t you know about this?”

“Actually, I’m a first-year psychiatry resident.”

Nora rolled her eyes again. Wow, what a sassy pre-teen…

“Jaebum didn’t know about it because we’ve all been blocking that knowledge from him. We knew he would freak out like this, but we also knew that if he doesn’t get help now it might be too late to work on integrating.”

Integrating, the process of all the personalities combining back into one main personality. You wondered if Jaebum tried or even wanted to try integrating. Though you suppose he should be a part of this process too since it’s a team effort. Was he trying to do it by himself without any psychiatric help? Did he give up? You had so many questions for him, but you were stuck with bratty Nora for the time being. Maybe you guys should just get back to the dorm first and get Jaebum his meds.

You linked your arm around Nora’s and gave it a small pull. “Alright, cmon Nora. Let’s go back home.”

Nora made a face and shook her head. “I don’t want to leave just yet! Just look at all the cute boys here~.”

Your eyes widened at her comment as you looked all around to make sure it wasn’t loud enough for anyone else to hear. “Shhh!! Keep it down! You don’t want to start any rumors.”

“Oooh rumors~? Can you help me start one of me and G-Dragon dating?” Nora said with lit up eyes.

“No! Just come with me!” You whispered loudly, tugging her arm harder.

“I don’t want to!”

The both of you were starting to get some weird looks from the other customers. You had to get Nora out of there FAST.

“Tell you what, I’ll buy you another ice cream if you come with me.”

“How old do you think I am? 5?” Nora scoffed.

“You can get three scoops with unlimited toppings.”

Nora thought for a moment with pursed lips before giving in. “Call~ (Deal).”

After getting Nora her ice cream, you called a cab to take you guys back to GOT7’s dorm. Even though their dorm wasn’t that far away, it was safer than walking on the streets and being caught by the paparazzi. You don’t know Nora too well yet, so you can’t really trust that she would act normally in public. The cab then pulled up a few steps ahead and you guys scurried in. As the cab driver began driving, you noticed that Nora was surprisingly silent. You looked over at her and saw her eating her ice cream while looking outside the window. Man was it a good idea to give her ice cream, keeping her preoccupied and not making the cab driver suspicious by being her sassy self. You noticed that she could pass for Jaebum himself when she's not talking. What kind of person is he? What's going to happen when he comes back?

In no time, you both arrived at the dorm and Nora finished her ice cream. Once you guys were at the front door, you did the secret knock. * knock. knock knock knock. knock. knock knock *

"Hey..." You said awkwardly as GOT7's manager opened the door.

"What happened...?" He asked nervously, letting you two in.

"Uhh soo..."

"Oooh there's a cute little butterfly clip on the floor!" Nora shouted as she ran passed and picked up something from the floor.

You looked down at your feet as you felt something nudge your leg. "Oh Coco~, you're here!!" You picked her up and held her in your arms. The clip must've belonged to her.

"Oh yeah, Youngjae is staying here for the weekend because his brother went out of town."  Their manager explained. "Umm...did something actually happen?"  

You both turned and watched as Jaebum/Nora clipped the clip onto her hair. You sighed. "It's a long story....You might wanna gather everyone and sit down for this."

"Oh Y/N? Is that you?" Jinyoung asked as he popped his head out from his room.

"Oh hey Jinyoung." You said with a wave.

"Hey! So uhh do you happen to know where my movie script went?"

You facepalmed yourself. Must've been freakin Seo Mijoon again. "Try checking Jaebum's room under the bed."

Jinyoung snapped his fingers and smiled before walking towards Jaebum's room. "Thanks!"

You and the manager sat on the couch as Nora examined herself in the mirror hanging near the T.V. 

"So, as I was saying...."

Mark suddenly comes out into the living room, drying his wet hair with a towel. "Hey manager hyung, is Jaebum home?"

Nora turned in the direction of the sound of his voice and literally froze in place once she laid her eyes on him. She watched as Mark shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair in slow motion in her head. When Mark glanced at her, she heard a choir of angels as a nonexistent light shone on him.

" O M G." Was all she was able to say as she stared at him with sparkling eyes.

"Is he okay?" Mark asked, noticing the weird look Nora was giving him.

"Maybe you should go back to your room for now..." You said, getting up to block Nora's path from Mark just in case she was going to jump him.

"Okay..." Mark said as he picked up Coco and went into his room.

"Bye Oppa~!!" Nora shouted after him.

The manager stood up with his hands on his hips. "Okay, now you really have to tell me wtf is going on. Why is Jaebum putting on hair clips and calling people 'oppa'?"

"I've got his medicine!!" Youngjae shouted as he walked out from his room. "Oh hey Y/N!"

"Hey Youngjae~." You walked over to him and took the pill bottle from his hand. 

"Thanks~." You said with a smile.

"Alright Nora, time to take your medicine." You said, walking towards her.

"No, I don't want to!!" Nora shouted, backing away from you.

"I got the water!!" Jackson exclaimed as he came running from the kitchen with a water bottle.

You poured out a pill and shoved it toward Nora's face. "Just swallow it!"

Nora shook her head frantically, dodging your attempts to put it in her mouth. "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

While struggling with Nora, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around and see Jackson standing there with a serious look on his face. "Let me handle it."

You slowly handed him the pill and stepped aside.

"I'm sorry Hyung, but this is for your own good."  Jackson then took a deep breath before stomping on Nora's foot. As she yelped in pain, he quickly shoved the pill into her mouth. "Quick! Help me get this bottle opened!" 

You reached over to the water bottle Jackson was holding and twisted off the cap as fast as you could. Both you and the manager watched in amusement as Jackson proceeded to pour water over her mouth. Nora swallowed the pill along with some of the water, letting out a cough when the bottle was empty.

"3, 2, 1." Jackson counted before Jaebum passed out and fell into Jackson's arms. "We're in the clear now."

As Jackson set Jaebum down on the couch, the manager gathered the rest of the members into the living room. "Well now that there are no more distractions...Y/N, why don't you tell us what happened."

And so you told them about Jaebum hit his back, how you thought JYP came out, how Jaebum got so furious after finding out that JB came out, and how this new personality suddenly appeared.

The manager was distraught and confused. "What?! A new personality? How is that even possible? He's 25-years-old."

"Maybe being halfway to 50 is a big milestone of his life." Yugyeom joked, bursting into laughter along with Bambam.

"In the past, a personality would only form after a traumatizing event. Are you sure that nothing like that happened?" Jinyoung asked.

Traumatizing? Your thoughts go back to the kiss that you gave JB. Seriously?? Was that really THAT traumatizing for him to experience?? 

"Uhhh not that I can I think of..." You lied, protecting your pride and erasing that horrifying image from your mind.

As you told them more information on Nora's personality, Jaebum began to stir. "Look, he's waking up." Bambam pointed out. 

Jaebum rubbed his eyes and slowly sat up. "What happened?" He asked with a groggy voice.

He immediately froze in place when he laid his eyes on you. "Um, guys...Why is there a sasaeng in our house?"

"She's not a sasaeng…” Mark began. “She’s a-”

"She's your private nurse." Their manager flat out said. "Or more like private psychiatrist to be exact."

Jaebum furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What...? Wait wait wait...You hired a private nurse without my consent? How long has she been monitoring me?"

"It's been 2 weeks. And yes, you need the help." The manager said sternly. 

Jaebum’s scoffed, with his mouth agape. "I told you already that I don't need it. I don't need anyone to help me!! I can do this on my own! Did you guys know about this too?" He turned to look at his fellow members who all just awkwardly avoided eye contact. "Wow. Just wow."

You could tell by the sound of Jaebum's voice that he felt betrayed and frustrated.

"Hey, don't blame them...They're just trying to help." You said softly. 

"Well, it's unwanted. Also, I don't mean to be rude but...you can leave now. You're no longer needed here." Jaebum said, gesturing you towards the door.

"Hyung...it's way past midnight. Are you really going to send her out alone during this time of day?" Jackson asked.

You sat there staring at Jaebum with hurt eyes in silence. Is this really what the real Jaebum is like?

Jaebum looked over at you and clenched his fist. "Fine. I'll leave instead." He said through gritted teeth. Turning around, Jaebum went out the front door and slammed it behind him.

Jinyoung sighed. "Don't take it personally Y/N. He just needs to cool down. I'll talk to him." 

As he got up and followed after Jaebum, Youngjae scooted over to you. "Hey, you okay?"

You let out a sigh. "Maybe I should leave...The contract has already been broken anyway since he found out."

"What? You're just going to give up like that?" Youngjae said with a tad bit of disappointment in his voice.

"Well, you heard him. He doesn't need me. So what's the point of even trying?"

"He DOES need you. He's just too stubborn to see it."

You stood up and threw your hands up in the air. "Why bother to help someone that doesn't want to be helped?"

Youngjae gave you a long and serious look. "But then who will help them? If we choose to ignore people who claim that they don't need help, they who will be there for them? Nobody else is going to ever know how they truly feel and they will end up facing their sufferings alone."

You sat back down and lowered your head. Youngjae was right. You felt guilty for even just thinking those kinds of thoughts. 

"I do...I really do want to help him. I just don't know how or if I even can do anything to help. I'm just a first-year psychiatry resident with no real experience...For undergrad, I just managed to pass my classes. I may have the knowledge, but I don't know how to utilize it... "

"Hey now~." Youngjae patted your back. "You're doing the best you can. You're doing a great job. You being here right now and trying to help is already more than enough."

You looked over at Youngjae and smiled. "Thanks."

A few moments later, you heard the front door clicked and Jinyoung came in. You and Youngjae stood up simultaneously. 

"Where's Jaebum?" Youngjae asked. 

Jinyoung sighed as he thought about the heated conversation he just had with him.

"Hyung, get back here." Jinyoung had called out after him, as he ran to catch up with Jaebum who was walking towards the subway station.

Jaebum just kept on walking without looking back. "Just go back home Jinyoung. I've already made my point. You can't change my mind."

"Why can't we just sit down and talk about this? Hm?" Jinyoung finally caught up and went in front of him to block his path.

"There's nothing to talk about. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I don't need her or anyone's help! I can and will overcome this on my own."

"It doesn't hurt to try!! Maybe she's different than the past therapists you've seen?"

Jaebum put his hands on his hips and shook his head, chuckling to himself without any humor in it. "Different? Haha. You make me laugh. She's the cause of why this new personality formed isn't she?"

Jinyoung stared at him in shock. They haven't told Jaebum about Nora yet or about what happened.

"Yeah, that's right. I can feel it. I can hear and feel that there's another personality that has taken a vacancy inside my mind. And all this happened right after this girl showed up. Coincidence? I don't think so."

As Jaebum walked passed Jinyoung, Jinyoung clenched his fist in anger. How could Jaebum say such things about someone who was just trying to help him? 

"Quit being so temperamental and stubborn!!" He shouted, making Jaebum freeze in his tracks and turn around.

Having Jaebum's full attention, Jinyoung continued. "H-how about us?! We're sick and tired okay?!?!" Jinyoung took a breath as he started to choke up. "We're sick and tired....of watching you suffer and not knowing how to help you...But she knows how."

Jaebum just stood there in silence, astonished at Jinyoung's outburst and seeing tears welling up in his eyes.

"Please, Hyung...The six of us really care about you and want the best for you..."

Jaebum let out a deep breath and turned away. "I'm...I'm just going to spend the night in my studio." He then walked away towards the subway station, leaving Jinyoung standing there in defeat.

And that was how Jinyoung ended up returning to the dorm alone. Maybe one night outside will give Jaebum some time to clear his mind and think about it.

"Where did he go?" You asked.

Jinyoung looked over at you. You looked worried. Worried that Jaebum went and did something stupid and that everything was all your fault. He gave a little small reassuring smile before saying, "It's okay. He's just going to spend the night in his music studio."

You and Youngjae looked at each other and smiled in relief. 

Jackson then popped his head out from one of the rooms. "Hey Y/N, you can sleep in my old bedroom. I can sleep on the couch tonight."

Your eyes widened and you shook your head. "Oh no, no. It's okay, I don't mind sleeping on the couch. You guys are the ones that need a good night's rest. You guys are K-pop idols with packed schedules every day!"

Jackson raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" 

You smiled."Yes. It's totally fine~. Thank you guys for letting me stay."

Mark then came out with a pillow and a few blankets, followed by their manager. "It's no problem. We'll discuss more about what we're going to do with Jaebum tomorrow."  The manager said as he helped Mark set up your "bed" on the couch.

You thanked them once again and said your goodnight's to each member before laying on the couch. You would wash up, but you just felt so drained after all the craziness that happened today. What an emotional roller-coaster. You tossed and turned to the other side and sighed. Will you be able to say the right words to Jaebum to convince him to let you continue being his therapist? You got up, took out your laptop from your bag, placed it on the coffee table next to you, and started looking through all the notes you took on each personality. Will you ever get the chance to meet each one of them again? While scrolling, you stopped at Jaebum’s name and stared at the little information you had on who he (the main personality) was. You knew that there had to be more to him than what you saw tonight.  Although you thought you would stay up all night thinking about it, you eventually drifted to sleep after staring at your screen blankly.

Meanwhile, Jaebum was trying to get some sleep himself on the couch inside his music studio. But he couldn't help but think about what Jinyoung said to him. "We're sick and tired of watching you suffer and not knowing how to help you....but she knows how." 

Honestly, Jaebum had his own reasons of why he has been so stubborn like this. But maybe it was time for him to consider other people's feelings too. The next morning, Jaebum carefully entered the dorm quietly to not wake anyone up. After closing the door ever so gently, he began tiptoeing around until he spotted you sleeping on the couch. The hurt expression you gave him last night when he told you to leave flashed through his mind, making him feel guilty for his immature actions. Jaebum then noticed your opened laptop on the coffee table. He turned the laptop towards him and began to read through all your notes. He was shocked and amazed at how much information you were able to gather on each personality in the span of two weeks. Based on the descriptions you wrote, it seemed like you were able to read each of them well. Jaebum looked over at you and sighed. He could really see how much effort you put into this. Pushing the laptop back towards your direction, he softly knocks on the manager's bedroom door.

The door swung opened and there stood a sleepy manager. "Yes?" He answered groggily, with his eyes slowly widening at the realization that Jaebum has come home. "J-Jaebum you're back."

Jaebum nodded before saying, "I'll do it. Let's keep Y/N as my private nurse."

Part 2 END  (A/N: Five stars for you if you caught on to a GOT7 reference ;) )

[ethereal-pluto-blog]

I feel like shit today

I'm lethargic, slow, crying, and insecure. So yep ~depression~ has come to rear its ugly head once again.

But since I'm not into the whole anti-recovery thing, I'll give you some useful tips on how to maybe help YOUR depression that doesn't seem like a generic twitter self help thread. (Though I'll mention some things I found helpful and give explainations as to why.)

Talk to your therapist/counselor/mental health expert if available. Not everyone has the luxury of seeking professional help, but if you have the opportunity, PLEASE go to a professional. However be noted that it's often an experience to go through many different experts to find the one that matches your specific needs/ you like the most. Also keep in mind there are also online therapists ready to help if you're not big on one-on-one contact like myself, though often insurance is tricky. I put this one first because it might be the most beneficial for some, though not readily available for others.

If you have the strength, shower. Showering/cleaning yourself is a blessing in itself as it gives you a sense of detox. Though if you don’t have the strength or motivation, try some of this instead-

Utilize facewash and lotion. Particularly facewash that makes your face feel all chill and tingly, it makes you feel more refreshed. Lotions and cream will help you keep skin smooth.

Simply get wet with water, a quick 5 minute rinse in hot water is less of a chore than a full shower.

Dry shampoo will help with hair oiliness. Though if you don't have access just brush your hair and pull it/part it so it's out of your face.

Baby wipes. Baby wipes will cure yo soul. But seriously use baby wipes and rub them on your face, underarms, and genitals. A good rub down will help prevent you from feeling gross.

Splashing your face with cold water, it makes your pores tighten up and as a bonus it'll wake you up.

Utilize deodorant and vaseline. I haven't tried it out for myself, though if you put down deodorant and then vaseline on top it should trap the nice fragrant smell. And while you're at it you can put on cologne / perfume if you think you're getting a lil ripe, but if you want to smell like a fresh shower use ones that are labeled "shower fresh" or "baby powder."

If your lips are chapped, put on some balm shisters. (I don't trust the brand chapstick, I'm a conspiracy theorist okay I'm soRRy)

Change into some cleaner clothes. They don't have to be normal everyday clothes but at least change into new clothes, especially underwear.

Clean your fingernails/toenails. Clean under them, since random junk can get stuck up in there. Also clip them if they're too long for your liking.

Brush your teeth. But if you can't, use mints, gum, mouthwash, mouthspray, etc, or a combination of those. Anything minty will make your mouth tingle and feel fresh and clean.

Clean yo ears! Since probably nobody uses an ear vacuum (like you're supposedly supposed to idk I'm too broke for that shit anyways) just be careful using Q-tips.

If you don’t have any deodorant, try hand sanitizer! I'm not kidding. Put a dollop under each underarm, and let dry. Smells are caused by bacteria, so if you get hand sanitizer, it should greatly reduce smell.

Try to get some sun. Using the natural sunlight will help you absorb vitamin D. So open up the blinds and photosynthesize binches. Though it also helps to open up the window if you can, a breeze/fresh air blowing in with the smell of outside might even raise your mood. Though if it's currently shitty weather outside, try turning on your lights to match your circadian rhythm, so keep lights on during the day and dim it at night so it'll help with letting you be on a decent sleep schedule.

Feeling like there's no hope or that your future is going to be shit? Highkey me too, but here's what I do to combat that feeling.

It's corny, but I write a whole idealized future for myself. I write about my dream job, I write about my dream s/o, I even imagine the type of house I want to live in, the kids I'll have, what kind of pets I want to own. Etc. Although the economy is shit and no future is guaranteed, it's nice to put some positivity into light and show what I really want in life. I don't want to be some millionaire, I just want to be comfortably well off with a family and people that love me. And in all honesty a future like that isn't hard to obtain.

Even if you can't imagine a good future for yourself, imagine being a part of your friends or loved one's futures. For example, you know your friend who's dating this really cute person that you totally ship them with? Imagine being a part of the bridesmaids/groomsmen for their wedding when they tie the knot! Imagine your really smart friend finally graduating from college and you're at their graduation party giving them a speech! For me this really helps since I aspire to be drinking buddies with my best friend's future husband. (I'm rlly goofy ik lmao)

Feeling stressed about not doing anything? We've all been there. Try:

Doing work if you're due for assignments, though don't do it alone, if you can, arrange a group text/tutoring session/Skype call. If everyone is focused on getting something done then you'll be motivated to do it with them.

Though if you don’t absolutely have to do anything but want to do ~s o m e t h i n g~ I also got your back on this too.

Organize your inbox for your email. (Ik I'm lame)

Tidy/clean your room/any room if that gives you something to do.

Make your bed.

Cuddle someone/something.

Rearranging your stuff in your room, makes it feel like a whole remodel tbh.

Burn candles/incense. Don't ask just...trust me on this it can change the aura.

If you're religious, practice!

Take aesthetic photos of things in your room. Download VSCO and experiment with it. I also recommend Huji Cam and Afterlight. All are available for IOS and Android.

If you appreciate music- use YouTube and find some Playlists, or if you can, spotify premium will save yo mortal soul.

Like video games? Play some! Or if you're a brokeass like me, let's plays and walk throughs work well too.

If you got pets, pet them. Do it. Snuggle. Or if you love animals in general go and watch some vids on YouTube.

Build a fort.

If you're an artist or appreciate art- draw! Or you can watch animatics, animation memes, art channels, or follow artists on here or on Instagram and Twitter if you want to be inspired, or just observe.

Have a certain series you keep putting off? Watch! It! Netflix/Hulu that shit. Or cable TV works too.

Go on Wikipedia and just go on an adventure. Click from link to link and see where it takes you. Learn some weird new facts!

Read a new book.

Read the news/watch the news.

Write about a certain topic that you're absolutely fascinated about.

Watch movies!

Join a club/interest group. You can do this online too and it'll help meet people with similar interests as you. You can make new friends this way.

Give your friends a call/text. Having conversations will keep you occupied.

Self love aka masturbate. Or have (safe) sex with someone you trust!

Workout

Do some makeup/skincare routine. Even if you think you look bad just commit to practicing.

Sometimes it's just funny to go through and read some Reddit threads so be safe when surfing on there.

Stretch and move around! Dance if you wanna!

Do your hair/experiment in some new styles, maybe even dye it if you feel daring.

Have an icon you stan? Stan HARDER.

Watch iconic vine/rare vine compilations until you can memorize them.

Clean out your phone contacts of people that are irrelevant/toxic!! Out of sight out of mind! Don't hang on to them if they did you wrong. All the text conversations will just make you feel worse!

Actually cook your favorite food, cooking it will make you more dedicated to eating it and give you more of an appreciation for it.

Organize your closet.

Organize anything in your room/closet. Throw away things that you don't need or are too old to use.

Start collecting things, stuffed animals, pins, snowglobes, you name it.

Pinterest is addictive lowkey so try that if you're into that kind of stuff.

Write! Write a new story, write poetry, write about your feelings, write a letter, write fanfiction, express yourself.

Use Duolingo to try and study a new language to learn. (The owl will harass tf outta your email though but as long as you do like 5 minutes a day he won't bother.)

That's about all I can think of but feel free to add more for activities to dedicate your time to.

If you need to, because of your self image, don't go and stand in front of mirrors. If I stand in front of a mirror too long I'll end up scrutinizing myself and find a flaw after flaw. If you are specifically insecure about something with your body, look up models who have the same thing! Like if you're insecure about having vitiligo, look up Winnie Harlow! She's gorgeous! If you're insecure about being chubby, look up plus sized models! If you have a tooth gap, there's plenty of people like you! You don't have to feel ugly because of that when you have these awesome models rocking what they got.

Vent. You can vent to your friends, family, or even online. There are apps that allow you to vent anonymously to others without the fear of judgement. But if you can't do that, take a pen/pencil and write something down in your notebook. Though don't reread it to keep drowning in the negativity, once you write it, shut it. You can do the same on Google Docs online, once you write down everything, delete it. Don't keep trying to fuel your negative thoughts and bitterness, get your rant over with and be done. It's like a fresh start. (Plus on my Instagram spam account I always feel really silly looking at my old rant posts, so I usually delete stuff afterwards when I'm not feeling so in my feelings).

Don't expect recovery to be in a straight line. You'll have amazing days and also have extremely shitty days. Recovery isn't hoping to never experience shitty days, recovery is being able to feel the strength on those shitty days and know that they'll pass, and with each storm you'll be stronger than before. Don't push yourself to be flawless, because shit happens. But you'll make it through. And that's what matters.

And last but not least, seek emergency help if you feel like you're dangerously close to ending your life due to pain. Call the suicide hotline for support, because the pain can ease soon if you ask for the help that you need and deserve.

Not everyone that reads this is going to be like "wow this really helped me cope with my depression/mental illness!" But my goal was to at least try. It may not work for everyone unfortunately, but I hope that anyone dealing with a mental illness is on the road to recovering. Because I know how it feels. It feels sucky as fuck. But if this helps even just one person, then that's enough. I hope everyone has at least a decent day, and I hope that everyone's pain eases soon.

[pussycat-scribbles]

Answers abound!

Ahh reading through all of my messages was dlfkjsdf I’m so grateful when people take the time to send me something! 

I’ve answered an absolute ton privately, and I’ve made the executive decision not to include messages here unless there’s a direct question involved, but I do read every single thing that arrives in my inbox and I am so incredibly grateful for your words of encouragement. I love hearing that a piece of artwork has made you smile, or that you saw something that reminded you of me, or you’ve been inspired to start your own art journey because of me - or just that you enjoy my gifs! 

I’m sorry not to acknowledge all of these wonderful messages individually but they really, truly always brighten my day when I get them

If you’ve sent me something that you really would like a response to and it isn’t here, please do send it again!

I’m delighted you’ve been inspired to draw again! With regards to your tablet, be sure to check that you’re using the latest tablet driver - they can be really tricksy things so reinstalling your tablet with a driver downloaded direct from the source might help. And as with anything, practice really is the only way to get better! Personally I’m currently using a Wacom Intuos Pro Small, but in the past I’ve used Wacom bamboos and other tablets by the same brand. I’ve never had a problem with any of their products, but have yet to try the cintiq line. 

For actual drawing I mostly use Photoshop CS6, but I’m slowly learning Clip Studio Paint (which is really good!). I usually use the default brushes for most things like lining and colouring, and fiddle with opacity settings as necessary. For inking specifically I like to use the hard round opacity brush at 75% opacity with shape dynamics turned on. I occasionally use custom brushes I’ve collected over the years, for stuff like clouds and the odd bit of texture, but not very often.

Unfortunately publishing is just one of those very competitive industries where people tend to stick around once they’re in! I was lucky enough to land a graduate trainee position (what my company was calling their internship programme in ye olden days of 2011/2012) not long after I left university, and I’ve stayed there ever since! The best thing you can do is network with industry people - follow them on social media, attend open industry events, get to know who works where if you can. It’s difficult to give advice without knowing your particular circumstances, but don’t give up! Best of luck :)

Oh ho ho it pleases me immensely that people are enthusiastic about this AU! Sorry for the radio silence about it, but @notallballs and I have both been super busy with other things. Oikawa and his *cough* magical plant adventure with Iwa have been put on the backburner a bit, but Bees and I talk about it regularly and it is definitely not forgotten. There might be a little bit more of a wait, but we’ll get around to it in good time, don’t you worry!

I love fantasy and science fiction! Although I have a slight preference for fantasy, I think. I read a lot for escapism, and I don’t particularly have any interest in mainstream fiction or more literary stuff, but I’ll occasionally dabble in crime. I love too may authors to name, but favourites include Terry Pratchett, Brandon Sanderson, Ben Aaronovitch and C.S. Pacat.

If you’re new to art or trying to get back into it: just go for it. Don’t stress about being bad or rusty to begin with - everyone has to be bad at something before they can be good at it! And use the tools that you can easily access/afford. Worry about upgrading later when you’re comfortable with what you’re doing! The best resource for tutorials and art advice is youtube and devianart (although I use the former more these days). Look up things like speedpaints and follow tons of artists and see if they’ve got any tip/tutorial videos! And the main piece of advice I can give is to practice, practice, practice. That’s the only real way to improve at anything. Draw as regularly as you can manage, and draw from life to build a solid foundation before you start bending rules! 

Good luck!

I was using the lasso tool to select part of the canvas! I use it in the way you’ve described here and to select parts of the drawing to move around and transform if they need resizing etc. It’s a fundamental part of digital drawing, so if you’re getting into it you’ll learn how to do that kind of thing pretty quickly!

Pray.

Thank you very much! This is a really tricky thing to answer because it’s often not a conscious decision? I know my colour theory and warms and cools and which colours go well together, but explaining my actual thought process behind why I use the colours I do is…another matter. There are colour palettes I’m more drawn towards - I love blues and purples! - but a lot of the time I’m drawing fanart of characters who already have established colours so I start with their canon colour scheme as a base and use hue + saturation tools to adjust to my tastes/whatever the mood of the piece is. 

I have every intention of finishing that picture! I think when I started working on it last Christmas it was a bit too ambitious for me, but in the last few months I’ve started working on much more elaborate/extensive pieces of artwork and feel a bit more confident tackling a piece with so many characters. It might be a case that I start over entirely, but I fully intend to draw the full seijou mermaid squad together one day!

Use references! Photos are great, as is your own body, but drawing other people in real life situations is the best thing for improving at anatomy. I don’t use refs nearly as much as I should for my regular art, but I rarely go into my smut artwork without at least a ref or two to work from. 

I’ve been drawing for as long as I can remember, but I’ve been drawing “seriously” - and by “seriously” I mean I’ve drawn regularly and with intent to improve - for nearly 15 years now. I’ve been posting my artwork online since late 2004! I keep a progress meme here if anyone is interested, although I haven’t updated it for a couple of years. I should really do that!

I do indeed have an instagram account, but I don’t use it as often as I should. It’s more of an afterthought at the moment, but I want to get better! My username is emily_fay_

AND THAT IS THAT, FOLKS. I deleted so many messages I would have loved to acknowledge directly but it just isn’t feasible. My inbox is cleared out now so your ask response service should resume as normal! Please do keep messaging me

Thanks for reading if you made it this far!