#chronic flirts

[theonlygaygoldstar]

I wish I didn't have a dirty mind. But sometimes it's not so bad because some things end up looking really funny.

[robbie-verse]

is this 'the eddie munson doctrine' u guys have been talking about ??

[witchlingcirce]

ANYYY shadowhunter who has black hair, some herondale descendant, and is flirty af will ALWAYS be in my top 5 no takers

[beiyuanism]

au where fadel has a cooking blog under a fake name where he posts his recipes. every entry has that typical long, oddly personal introduction, except he assumes no one ever reads them anyway so he uses it as a diary of sorts. like, "growing up, mother would often be gone for weeks at a time, unless it was time for my younger brother and i to train to become assassins, so i was the one to cook in our household most of the time. this is the dish i would make on the days when i had no energy to cook after spending them at the shooting range" or "i developed this recipe for my late boyfriend a few years ago. he was the love of my life, so it really hurt me when i had to kill him on mother's orders, and i haven't made this dish again since then, but it's honestly a really good recipe and it would be a shame not to share it".

at some point, someone posts about it on twitter and it goes viral. people think it's just a very good bit and the author is extremely committed to it, because through the pieces of information you can actually piece together a full story of his life since childhood to most recent events, and it's so bizarre that no one considers it could be anything but a creative writing exercise for a bored housewife whose name he publishes under. that is, until someone accidentally remembers that a recent recipe on that one cooking blog had a story scarily similar to the assassination they're just hearing about on the news now, and people start connecting the blog posts to other unsolved assassinations. in the end, the consensus is that this is either a very dedicated expert in politics who is coincidentally crazy enough to cosplay as a killer in a niche cooking blog, or someone who knows enough about the mechanics of political killings to accidentally predict things. anyone who thinks the infamous assassin who's managed to escape dozens of times is writing about this on a public blog in his free time is treated as a conspiracy theorist, because, really, you have to be stupid to think that.

[yardsards]

might fuck around and start headcanoning kabru as aroace. for fun.

[ff7-has-taken-me-over]

“Zack’s been hitting on you!” Cloud frowned, tilting his head slightly as he shook it.

“No he hasn’t. That’s just how he is.” Aerith’s eyes narrowed, pointing an accusing finger at him as she gritted between her teeth. Cloud felt kind of bad for pushing her to this state, even if he wasn’t entirely sure how he had done so.

“No it isn’t Cloud! You’re just oblivious and don’t know a wink from a wink!” And Cloud still didn’t know based on that sentence alone. But he decided not to tell her that.

“Aerith, this is just how Zack’s been since we were still in Shinra. Even when he was dating you this is how he was. He’s not flirting with me.”

Aerith looked like she could have killed someone with the way she glared past Cloud’s shoulder, and the blond grew slightly concerned that he’d unintentionally thrown his friend under the bus with that admission.

“Ok. Maybe this isn’t entirely your fault then. But still! You better do something about it before I lock you two in a room together!”

[festering-bacteria]

tophucius canon they told me themselves

[lazyveran]

shego shld have been all over mrs possible like a rash

[happyk44]

Once Jason leaves camp Jupiter and is no longer bogged down by responsibility and expectations, he finally embraces the sex menace side of being a son of Jupiter.

Ofc he's still a good boy so the only ppl who are suddenly slammed in the face with his constant horniness are his friends, and of them really only Nico and Leo (unless he's wildly horny and the other two aren't around, then it's fair game for the rest of them)

[thedisablednaturalist]

things i did not expect when i started using a wheelchair:

people flirting with my boyfriend (who is pushing me) WHILE IM RIGHT THERE.

[tfbeeredstringau]

Well, seeing as some people took interest in the last post here is more semi coherent part of fanfic in writing for this au.

It takes place further down the timeline, where Sentinel took the job as a secretary to primes under his Cybertronian disguise, the recommendation from Alpha Trion did help in the hiring process.

The old guard whilst in a way separate entity from the primes as they supposed to protect them, does rely sensitive messages and responds to one of their chosen primes they gotten close too.

Alpha Trion helped Sentinel choose apartament in the Iacon city, because whilst it was nice having his bf in his rooms he knows sentinel needs his own space. Sentinel likes Alpha in his own space.

No one realised that those two are fucking but there are speculations that Sentinel is seeing someone and some of other Primes noticed that Alpha seems to have a crush on someone but they don't know who (Megatronus and Prima have a bet over if it's Sentinel with Solus jokingly butting to the bet to add addendum that Alpha and Sentinel are already together).

The actual snippet of the fic is under the cut:

(...)

He was glad that he had managed to spend the night with his lover. After the chaos of the previous day it was good to hole up in their nest home and just exist without anyone trying to bother them.

Even the light shining into his optics wasn't enough to truly rouse him from warm cocoon of sleeping haze that befallen them. The warmth seeping into visible parts of his frame whilst the rest was under the covers of the mesh and held hostage by Alpha.

Smiling he lazily nuzzled the top of Apha helm, kissing the horns and chuckling quietly at the sleepy mewling that escaped from Alpha. The adorable scrunching of his nose and attempted burrowing further into his chassis just made him want to-

knock knock

...no

He was not getting up it was supposed to be his rest day, he was supposed to be lazing around with Alpha today!-

Knock Knock

Nope nu-uh no siiiiiiiir he wasn't the army general no more he did not need to get up when called and his lover was right there, still sleeping peacefully and looking downright sinful in the early hours-

BANG BANG

Fine

Fine he will get up, fine he will answer the fucking door and kill whoever is on the other side and come back to his love drenched in the energon of their enemy and get kisses and-

"Oh, hello Starscream"

"Sentinel"

"...."

"...."

"Why are you here"

Starscream let out a sight, a familiar looking style of the data pad being taken out from Starscream subspace gave him at least some of the answers on the seriousness of the situation.

"There is emergency council session that need to take place over this data pad but no one can find Alpha Trion, we were hoping you might have some information of his whereabouts?" Came the surprisingly polite request from Starscream.

Now he had a choice to make.

The "easy" one of going to wake Alpha and help him deal with this mess which will result in Sentinel probably being called to the meeting anyway which will result in both of their free day essentially being ruined.

Or he can take the easy route and just lie.

...

Lie it was.

"Sorry but-"

"Sentinel????" The very clearly sleepy but unmistakable voice of Alpha Triton carried from the berthroom followed by the muffled sounds of Alpha moving around.

He couldn't hide his dismay quickly enough from the surprised, slightly more then usual judgemental gaze of Starscream.

Letting out a sigh he step away from the door and let Starscream through, pointing to the table and chairs by the window overlooking the Iacon skyline that he could sit and wait for Alpha.

"We have a pest" Sentinel yelled into the corridor leading to their berthroom as he went to the kitchen area and started to prepare their morning cube with the unfortunate addition of adding a third one.

He truly missed the days where he could just not be polite and kill whoever disturbed him.

"We have a what???" Confusion clear in his voice, Alpha finally emerged, somehow not noticing Starscream yet.

"Excuse you?!" Came offended noise from said pest which in turn seemed to finally clue Alpha into the situation.

"A guest, what did you hear?" Grinning at the two, he quickly went over to Alpha, planting a kiss on his cheek and handing him his cube. He couldn't help the low purr that escaped him at the gorgeous sight of his Alpha still covered in his paint and scratches-

Intake clearing unfortunately brought him back to Cybertron. Letting out a small frustrated noise he made quick trip of giving Starscream his cube and returning back to the kitchen for his own before he joined the two at the table.

He ignored Starscream pointed glare. He was in his territory and he didn't care how confidential the data pad could be. He will spend the morning with his mate even if it's over work and not in their bed.

To Starscream credit, he only shook his head as Sentinel picked Alpha up and put him into his laps, cuddling him as Alpha kept reading through the data pad. The clear furrow deeping into the frown made it clear that the rest of their cycle is gonna go into scrapheap.

Oh how he wished he didn't opened the damn fucking door.

"Thank you Starscream," Alpha handed the data pad back to him. "Whilst I understand what they asking, I will not sign it. They will receive their answer at the emergency meeting later today."

"Of course, I will pass on the message my Prime" nodding respectfully, Starscream got up and thankfully did not have to be showed to the door.

Enjoying the few stolen moments before the chaos. Sentinel cuddled Alpha, leaving lazy kisses on his shoulders, neck and cheek, purring happily at finally being left alone.

"When do you think he will realise what he witnessed?" Alpha broke the silence, as he adjusted on sentinel lap, melting into him. Not really caring anymore over anyone reactions over their not secret secret reaction being acknowledged by the wider public.

"Probably in the middle of his report"

Sentinel smiles as Alpha burst into giggles at that and just kept showering him with kisses.

It might have not been a fully blissful morning but they definitely were in for eventful afternoon.

~•~•~•~

"-and whilst Alpha Trion did not agree to signing the documents, he did say that he will provide his reasoning in the emergency meeting later on." Starscream finished his report, nodding at the four primes in the rooms.

Zeta Prime nodded, looking frustrated if defeated at the prospect of having to face more of Alpha Trion ramblings at the meeting.

Solus Prime just giggled as she patted Zeta Prime, trying to console him over the fact that they did implement that maximum 3 kliks speaking time for emergency meetings.

On the other hand Megatronus Prime and Prima Prime seemed to look troubled and curious if apprehensive at Starscream report. He wasn't exactly sure why as it was standard to not find Alpha Trion in the towers which was security risk and proved to be near deadly on other occasions, but was anyone going to listen to him????? Noooooo because why would they-

"Where did you say you found Alpha?" Prima gently interrupted Starscreams inner tirade and got attention of the two other Primes who's attention he regained again.

Resetting his optics he went through his report again and spoke more carefully, not understanding where the confusion was coming from.

"I finally managed to locate Alpha Trion in Sentinel place of residence-" Cutting himself off, he rotate the sentence in his mind, because yes, he did find Alpha Trion in Sentinels place. Alone.

Just the two of them.

He knew that that specific style of apartments only had one maser berthroom with detached wash racks and spacious storage space. He looked at them when he was helping Skywarp and Thundercracker look for new places of residence.

Alpha Trion didn't have blue or gold paint and he didn't come from a guest berthroom.

Sentinel put Alpha Trion on his laps.

They kissed infront of him

The last think he saw was the panicked faces of his primes as he fell to the plush floors of Zeta Prime Office.

[rxttenfish]

one of those fun little traits that endlessly humor me about writing miranda but that i dont really get to talk about is that shes a reverse monsterfucker. and shes REALLY obvious about it once you notice it.

like shes out here just talking like all the monsterfuckers do but its specifically about humans. their hands are so soft, so small, so dexterious and light... their skin is so soft, so smooth. they are covered in fuzz and hair and have such an excellent mane right up on top of their heads that makes them look so proud and noble. they curve so excellently, all supple and with so many excellent handholds to keep them close. they are even self-heated! they feel so warm all of the time! perfect for cuddles, perfect for holding close, they let you know all of their little parting touches and make it so obvious every time they do touch you!!

honestly, to miranda humans are like... a luxury good. like thats the association in her mind, between the feeling of our hair and skin, and the way that it is skin and presses inwards to provide cushioning, and are warmed, and fit perfectly against her. shes like someone getting flustered for a werepanther. its really very cute.

[saiintvalentiine]

characters whose default state is flirting save meeeee

[hanaasbananas]

on arranged marriages

it's funny. mums been in the whatsapp rishta groups for years looking for someone i might marry. she'll send me a profile once in a while and ask what i think, if she should contact his parents or not and most of the time i say yeah, alright. nothing ever comes of it though, so when my dad calls me after work and says mum spoke to him about a rishta she's thinking of moving forward with i'm intrigued, but not particularly invested.

mum's really picky, i tell him. this probably won't go anywhere but we may as well see it through, right? dad is hesitant, but agrees when i say that i do want an arranged marriage.

but then things do move forward and the next thing i know, he is going to visit us with his parents. on the day, my uncle picks me up from work so i don't have to walk. you don't have to make a decision today, he tells me. this is just a first visit. my cousin helps me get ready and i am reminded of the similar scene in the movie vivah. nothing has to happen today, she tells me you guys are just meeting today. the thought does nothing to settle the nerves roiling in my stomach and i try to go back to my room three times instead of going downstairs until my cousin practically shoves me down them.

i enjoy meeting his mum, even though she immediately clocks my nervous clasping and unclasping of my bracelet. she hugs me as if i'm her own daughter and is so happy to see me that my heart lightens. eventually, we go to the other sitting room where the men are sitting-where he is. my nerves flare up again but he doesn't look up from his hands clasped in his lap when we walk in.

too nervous to speak, i only answer say anything when a question is directed at me and try to sneak quick glances at him across the room instead. his mum catches me more than once and smiles knowingly at me. we meet each others eyes only once for a split second and it makes my heart pound rapidly in my chest. when he speaks, i force myself to look at anyone other than him. he has a nice voice, my brain whispers and i bite my tongue, hard.

they leave, and we say they'll know our decision after a couple months. i know what my answer will be though. later, when they get back home and his mum calls my mum, i stand outside the door to eavesdrop, my heart in my throat but i can't stop my grin when i hear his mum say he's happy to go ahead with this, because there was a part of me that still worried he'd see me in person and go NOPE. she suggests that we get to know each other over the next few months and i silently beg my mum to agree. i know that where she is from, in her tradition, the bride and groom speak once or twice before the wedding if they're lucky, and that things are still done that way back home, but just as im gearing up to argue against that, she agrees. it's a miracle!

of course, chronically shy person that i am, the thought of our first conversation taking place on our mums phones is terrifying so instead i ask to get his number so we can text first. she sends his number but theres no way i'm texting first so i send them my number and thankfully he gets the hint and texts me first. i hope you don't mind me texting, i'm just shy still. i say. that's fine, he reassures me. we have time.

time, as it turns out. flies. it doesn't take long to move from texts to voice notes, to phone calls. he really does have a nice voice, i find out, and its not as awkward as i thought it would be. i didn't actually think that we'd talk that much, maybe once a week at most and yet...

i almost cried last night because we were talking about going to Pakistan together next summer and I remembered how when I was a teenager I used to daydream about going to Pakistan with my spouse and visiting all my family with him.

then over the years I sort of gave up on that idea because I'm not the type to go out and meet someone and in the desi arranged marriage market whose gonna choose me?

and now I'm 26, and we talk multiple times a day and when I catch myself thinking oh he isn't really interested, he's just talking to me because he has to to get to know me, why would anyone actually like me?? I find myself countering with well actually if that was the case why would he start calling you every day? how come you went from one call a day ending with 'i'll talk to you tomorrow' to him calling you on his way home from work and 'i'll call you after dinner' when he gets home to a THIRD call after maghrib right before bed? those are not the actions of a man who is uninterested!!

hanaas insecurities- 0, hanaas logic- 1

anyway idk where this is going except i never thought i'd be this excited and happy when it came time for me to get married but here i am and it is SO SCARY to realise that i am maybe possibly (definitely) falling for him but wow, and like? (literally the other day i was telling him a story from when i was a kid and the story had such a silly ending but it was unexpected and he laughed really hard in surprise and it made my heart almost explode i swear its so fun to make him laugh)

but like there's SO MANY logistics i'm restarting my driving lessons so i can pass before i move and i literally just got my new job in april but i'm gonna have to give my notice lmao and i've already started looking for new jobs but GAH so much stuff is happening and yet at the same time i feel so calm about it all it's wild i'm just vibing trying to enjoy my summer holidays and having the highlights of my day being when he calls lmaooo

[four-for-fidelity]

ok but what if. Gideon Nav pool boy au.

[sophiethewitch1]

me and what we want are going through a lovers spat rn because i desperately want to write more for it but i constantly feel like shit so its really getting in the way of our relationship. also if youve sent me any asks that i havent responded to i am geniunely so sorry about it i am in the trenches right now