#dirty minds

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Dirty Minds 1

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Thor Odinson, Loki Laufeyson

Summary: You start a new job after being fired as a programmer and it's more than you could have anticipated. (maid AU)

Note: I should stop.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

“Yeah, mom, I got the job,” you huff. “On my way right now. You really think Auntie would say no?” 

“I know my sister,” your mother harrumphs from the other end. “She doesn’t do favours.” 

“I mean, couldn’t she just give me some money instead of making me scrub floors,” you joke to the deathly silent speaker. “Alright, cool, well, guess I should go. I’m here.” 

“Good luck,” your mom sighs. “Please don’t mess this up. Your father and I already postponed our vacation once.” 

“I won’t,” you croak, deflated by the reminder. “Love ya.” 

She hangs up without returning the sentiment. Yep, she’s still mad about that. You didn’t ask to be fired. Actually, you worked overtime and bent over backwards just to avoid the fate. It happened anyways. Every company in the state culled their numbers. Looks like your programming degree is now as coveted as English Lit. 

You look up at the Upper East Side townhouse and suck your teeth. It’s just another reminder of everything you don’t have. Of everything you lost. Your order-in pad thai and sushi have given way to peanut butter on stale bread and canned soups. You can go without, it just stinks. 

This should help. Aunt Jan says the job pays well if you do a good job. The more clients you can pick up, the better. For now, you’re starting out with one. Probation, she calls it. Even if your mom hates her sister, they’re more alike than she cares to admit. 

You grunt as you swing the bucket of cleaning supplies with your steps up the concrete steps. The compact vacuum strapped to your back doesn’t aid in your struggle to maintain your balance. You couldn’t afford the rental fee for the company car so you schlupped everything here on the subway. Not ideal. 

You put the kit down and tap the buzzer, struggling to catch your breath. There’s no answer. Jan said that might happen. Try again and if there’s no answer, let yourself in. 

It’s not that complex, is it? You got through coding and calculus. You can figure out all those attachments for the vacuum. You hit the button again. 

“Ah, welcome lady maid, you’ve come at last,” the booming lilted voice crackles from the speaker. You flinch. There’s a lens there too. You try to smile. 

“Uh, hi,” you reply. “I was sent by the Agency.” 

“Yes, yes, as Stark recommended. Please, come in. Ehhhh, which button....” 

The door clicks and beeps as it unlocks. Wonderful. The blind leading the blind. That might be better. You definitely don’t need a stickler pointing out the streaks on the windows. 

You push the door open and heave the bucket over the threshold. You take off your shoes and unhook the vacuum from your back. Should you start with the instructions in the app or go find your new boss? 

You wander further in, sheepish as you look around the interior. There’s red satin strewn over the back of the French-style sofa and clunky boots beside it. And there’s a few takeout containers piled across from the large television. Oh, right, it definitely is a man. 

“Lady maid? Is that you?” The voice calls through the doorway to your right. 

You slowly follow it as you hear clinking from within. You peek into the kitchen and cry out at the scene. You don’t mean to stare at the naked ass but it’s the first thing that you see. The large man, with blond hair spilling past his shoulders, is nonchalant as he loads the coffee maker. Entirely naked! 

“Uhhhhh.” Your voice unfurls dumbly and you bring your hand up to block your view. “Um. You—you're...” 

“Oh my, yes, I do forget myself,” he chortles and searches around. He grabs an apron and ties it around his waist. “In Asgard, the natural form is not stigmatized. Rather, we do much unfettered. Cook, clean, wrestle.” 

You reluctantly drop your hand as you’re face by the man and his immense chest. He’s huge. And familiar. He isn’t a man at all. He’s... 

“Thor?” You utter dumbly. 

“You know me? Did I perhaps save your cat?” He asks. 

“No, I saw you... on TV.” 

“Oh yes, how amusing. It was I!” He grins triumphantly. “They don’t always tell me when there are cameras.” 

“Hm,” you nod awkwardly. “I... should I just start.” 

“Ah, diligent maid, how admirable. To work so earnestly,” he praises and turns to grab his cup as the machine quits grinding. His ass is still out as the apron only conceals his front. You’re not going to get hung up on it. He’s probably hung too. 

Wow. Wow. Keep your head above board. 

“I’ll start out there,” you point over your shoulder. 

“Whatever you like, lady maid.” 

You retreat and try not to picture his muscular ass or statuesque shoulders or bright blue eyes. It must be a godly trick. You’re not one of those fan girls. You’re not pathetic like that. 

You start in the living room. You open a bin bag and start to gather the containers. A fan of burritos, you see. You make your way around the surfaces. You should be methodic. Clutter first, then floors. 

You continue back into the entryway and organize the shoe rack. You hang the cloak left on the sofa and take the boots over to the mat. There’s several cloaks and many shoes and boots. The green satin holds your curiosity. You didn’t think that was his colour. 

You carry on through each room, avoiding the kitchen as long as you can. You go into the bathroom, bracing yourself. You wipe off an errant glop of toothpaste and some darker hair strands near the drain. Those are black, not blond. 

A groan tickles your ear and you glance over as a shadow steps into the doorway. The lithe figure stretches his arms above him as he tilts his head back, arching so his chest puffs out and his... bits dangle freely. You squeal and cover your eyes. 

“Oh god!” You cry out. 

“So I am,” the other Asgardian sweeps in without bother, brushing by you as he approaches the toilet. 

“Uhhhh, oh, oh,” you squeak as he flips up the lid. “Jeez!” 

You hurry out of the bathroom and swing the door shut behind you as his stream hits the water loudly. You stand on the other side, breathless in shock. That was him. Loki!

You don’t know what’s more off putting. The shameless nudity or that you’ve been assigned to clean up after two gods. Not just gods, avengers. Well, at least Thor. 

It doesn’t matter. You’re here to clean, so keep your eyes and your brain under control. You don’t need Aunt Jan getting a complaint, even if this is the last job you wanted. 

[traveller-of-the-knight]

They're... wrestling!

Browsing old moon knight appearances has definitely been... an experience.

Peter Parker, the Spectacular spider-man (1976) #22

WHAT EVEN IS THIS?! WHY DOES THIS IMAGE EXIST!!!??? AJSNSJSK

The ship is strong with this one

[blazelsvixen]

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

My song dedication to all the smut writers & readers out there…doubly dedicated to my partner in writing crime @shadesofecclescakes for sending me all the best smut, and soon to be best co-writer of smut.

Shout out to Spotify for putting this on my Discover Weekly playlist this week. Even Spotify now knows what a smutmonster I am. Nice.

[medusasembrace12]

What was the train of thought in making me? Cause they were like

"Let's make her INCREDIBLY dirty minded and flirtatious and have sex surround her daily life from a young age (books/reading) AND with people who are equally dirty and flirty"

"Oh and you know what? While we're at it let's make her ASEXUAL TOO and low-key DISGUSTED and HORRIFIED by sex."

LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW 🤦🏽‍♀️

[biggscottie81]

So anyone want to chat on snap?? Would like to meet new people.

[random-xpressions]

With no scientific evidences though I'm still working on my theory: dirty minds live longer! How else do you want me to explain the longevity of devil. Luckily we humans have been blessed with a touch of our own hidden angelic wings. So we are in a safe equilibrium...

Random Xpressions

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Dirty Minds 2

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Thor Odinson, Loki Laufeyson

Summary: You start a new job after being fired as a programmer and it’s more than you could have anticipated. (maid AU)

Note: I should stop.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Your second day at the House Odinson, as you call it in your mind, brings you little optimism. You spent the night trying to bleach the images from your mind. Almost literally but the internet says Clorox is no good for your eyes. You’re no prude, you admire a nice physique, but this is strictly professional. 

Just like the day before, you ring the bell, however, there is no answer. You figure that Thor would be busy. He is sort of important and well beyond this planet. As for his brother, he’ll probably want to distract himself from being stuck in the place he once tried to oppress to his will. That was a rather shady episode... 

You let yourself in with the door code on the app. The house isn’t as bad as it was. Mostly, because it hasn’t been long since your last visit. 

The deja vu continues to haunt you. You leave your shoes at the door and unpack your kit and folding vacuum. It should be quick work this time. You put in your earbuds and tap play on the podcast you downloaded last night. You don’t know much about Norse history but you figure you should learn some given the circumstances. 

You start in the living room. It’s not too bad when you’re alone. When you have reign of the place without worrying about a nip slip or the like. Oh, what is that? 

You bend to pull free the belt from under the chair and let out a screech as it moves. You throw yourself back in horror as the green snake slithers away with a flick of its tongue. A snake! Just lying on the carpet?! What in the hell? Or is it Hel? 

You fix your earbuds as they move around loosely from your tumble. You catch your breath and get up. Maybe you should keep a bit of caution. 

You run the vacuum through the front room and move on to the kitchen. It's a bit messier. More take out boxes, some wine glasses, and several unsealed food goods. It’s like being back with your brothers. Oh yes, the favourites. 

You put it all away, on your toes as you search for the right place to put the muesli. As you reach up, the lights flicker and a tickle runs down both your sides. You squeal and drop the box, spinning to face your accoster. 

Loki stands close, crowding you as he smirks down at your wide gape. You snap your mouth shut as you brace the counter behind you. You clear your dry throat and press on your earbud to pause the podcast. 

“Oh, hi, I didn’t know--” 

“Maid,” he proclaims as he smirks at you. “There is a mess I require assistance with.” 

“Uh, okay,” you grab the cloth from the counter top. “Where?” 

“My bed chamber,” he says with a tilt of his brow. You don’t like the way his eyes glimmer. 

“Mhm, right, do I need a broom or mop--” 

“You would be the professional. Let me show you,” he slithers. 

You blink. Are you stupid or is he being cryptic? You shrug, “sure.” 

He turns and struts away. You follow and twist the cloth in your hands. You watch his lithe figure as he seems to walk on air. 

You stop at the threshold of his room as he passes through the door. It’s tidy despite the state you of the rest of the house when you arrived the day before. You hesitate to enter as he lingers by the door frame. According to the myths, he’s a bit of a trickster. Still, those have to have been distorted by centuries of mortal storytelling. 

You look around as you inch inside, “can you show me where?” 

“Certainly, just on the other side of the bed. It would likely be easier if you crawl across and have a look underneath,” he points with a careless flick. He doesn’t seem very concerned. Alright. 

You do as he says and get on the bed. You move on hands and knees and bend over the far edge. You don’t see anything. Just the green and black pattern of the rug beneath.  

Something winds around your ankles and you’re pulled onto your stomach. You exclaim and roll onto your back, twisting your legs as you flail and look up at Loki as he tries to constrain you. Oh Jesus, or Odin, whoever! He’s naked again. 

“What’re you doing?” You squeal. 

“Hm? Just a bit of fun, maid.” 

“Huh? Fun?! No, I’m here to clean--” 

“Yes, yes, it’ll get done but I’d prefer a bit of your other services,” he drags you across the bed as he untangles your ankles and pulls them apart. 

“Other services?” You cling to the blankets as they bunch beneath you. “I’m not... not a prostitute.” 

“No, I didn’t take you as one, but in Asgard, a maid is often a good candidate for a concubine--” 

“Concubine!” You cry out shrilly. “This-- this isn’t Asgard, Lo—uh, sir?!” 

“Don’t remind me,” he pouts and puts his knee on the bed as he pushes your legs around him. 

“Don’t, er—no, I’m not done cleaning,” you protest. 

He sighs as he catches your swatting hands and pushes them to the mattress. He bends over you as you focus on his face. Don’t look down. It’s just bobbing there, right at the edge of your sight. 

“Please--” 

“Yes, go on and beg, the maidens all do,” he purrs with a grin. 

“No-- no! That’s not—I don’t--” You writhe desperately. “You can’t do this.” 

He hums and tilts his head coyly, holding himself over you as his chest and shoulders flex. You gulp as you feel his... snake. You push your lip out and shudder. 

“Please, stop.” 

“Mm, since when do the peasantry rule the princes,” he lowers himself little by little. “You should be thanking you for prizing you with such an honour.” 

[theonlygaygoldstar]

I wish I didn't have a dirty mind. But sometimes it's not so bad because some things end up looking really funny.

[random-xpressions]

Until your fingers ache. Whatever your good or dirty mind wishes to prefix as the context.

Random Xpressions

[dirmo21]

Sometimes I just want my hair pulled and for you to look me deep in my eyes while we 😏. Let me know it’s only for me.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Dirty Minds 3

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Thor Odinson, Loki Laufeyson

Summary: You start a new job after being fired as a programmer and it’s more than you could have anticipated. (maid AU)

Note: I should stop.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

“Loki!” The booming voice saves you just before you succumb to your fate. 

The man, or god, atop you cringes and stiffens, well, more than he’s already... stiff. You give a sheepish smile as Thor calls again. 

“Brother,” his thunderous timbre rolls in. Your saviour. 

Loki rolls his eyes and waves his hand toward the door. The door swings shut and you squeak. Oh no. You forgot he’s got magic or something. You slap his chest. 

“He’ll hear that,” you say. “So you better let me up.” 

“It isn’t his concern what I do in the privacy of me chamber,” he slithers. “You can be quiet, can’t you, darling?” 

He touches your lips and your voice evaporates at the bottom of your throat. You try to speak but nothing comes out as the tickly weight persists. You bat your lashes and slap his chest. You kick your feet on the mattress as you shakily push him. 

Your fingertips press to his firm chest, the muscles corded nicely under his flesh. Focus. That’s not what you should be thinking of. He’s a god, of course he’s fit. 

“Loki,” Thor hollers again, his footsteps thumping closer and closer.  

The Asgardian atop you snarls and shakes his head. His eyes rove down your body and he gives a quick squeeze to your chest before he gets off. A green flash and his nakedness is covered. A green satin robe to conceal his shamelessness. 

The door opens as you remain on the bed, stunned. 

“Brother,” Loki catches the door, “could you knock?” 

“You weren’t answering me--” Thor quiets as you sit up and fix your shirt. “Ah, I see why. But you do recall, I still have first rights, brother, and I’ve not yet sampled the lady maid.” 

“Sampled--” you mother then panic swells in your chest. You touch your throat and wiggle. 

“Oh, brother, take the charm off her,” Thor tuts. 

Loki wiggles his fingers and the pressure releases. You sigh. You stand up and look between the brothers. Those towering walls of muscle. Between you and the door. 

“Sampled? You don’t sample a maid. I clean your house,” you insist. 

“Cleaning. Boring,” Thor says. “Lady maid, we are princes. It is an honour--” 

“Yes, he said the same thing and I still think that’s... weird,” you stammer. “So, please, I’m going to go finish the kitchen--” 

You move forward but they don’t retreat. They stay as they are. You gulp and take a step back. 

“I get it, you know? Where you’re from you have a different sense of humour and this is one of his tricks,” you point at Loki. He swats your finger away. 

“You don’t point a prince.” 

“Nor deny them,” Thor adds. 

“Hnghh,” the noise strangles you. “Um, this... wasn’t in my contract. I'm a maid. Just a maid. Here, on Earth, where we are now, there are things called worker’s rights--” 

“Yes, but we have prince’s rights. First rights,” Thor insists. 

Why is he taking Loki’s side? Isn’t he the good one? Didn’t you read somewhere that he ripped an oxen’s head off? Well, those are only myth’s, right? 

“I didn’t finish cleaning though--” you argue. 

“Loki,” Thor looks at his brother. The dark-haired Asgardian sweeps his hand in the air. Another flash and a whisper of coolness across your skin. 

You squeal as you look down at your naked body. You try to hide yourself, hunching awkwardly behind your arms. You search around for your clothes but there’s nothing. 

“This can’t-- I quit. Okay. I’m no longer your maid,” you say. “So just, bring back my clothes and I’ll be on my way--” 

“You needn’t be a maid to join,” Thor snickers as he unclasps the shoulder of his cloak. 

“Huh? Oh, boy, I--” 

You spin helplessly, looking for an escape. Even if you had one, you’re naked! You back away as the walls and the gods close in on you. 

Thor tosses away his cloak and works at his armour. Loki’s hand rests on the belt of his robe and he laughs as he inches closer and closer. You stutter and turn again, scrambling across the bed. You’re not thinking, you’re just scared. 

As you reach the other side, catch yourself against the barrier that suddenly appears there. Loki, again. You reel back and catch yourself on the heels of your hand. You kick away from him and a pair of thick arms hook under yours and Thor fondles your chest.  

You back presses to his torso as you writhe, kicking at Loki as he climbs up on the other side of the bed. Your disbelief burns away beneath the singe of reality. This is happening. 

“Please,” you grab onto Thor’s thick fingers. “I don’t think I can handle, er, both--” 

“We’ll take turns. Brother, by right--” 

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, it wouldn’t be the first time we partook of the same helping,” Loki’s hands creep up your legs and push your thighs apart. “Just a taste before you claim your right, hm?” 

You squeal and push your legs against his hands. You quiver as he stares down at your exposed cunt and licks his lips. Thor’s hand comes up to your neck as he lifts you higher, still groping your chest with his other hand. He kisses your hair and growls. 

“Fine,” he agrees reluctantly, “be calm, little one. You should be thankful to lay with the gods. It is a rare privilege.” 

Loki trails his hands down your legs and pulls your knees over his shoulders as he lowers himself to his stomach. You squeak again and grab onto Thor’s thick thigh, reaching down to push away Loki’s head. Your arm is too short, you fingers merely stroke his dark strands. 

“I can’t-- you can’t--” you yelp as Loki pushes his nose against your pelvis and his breath seeps into your trimmed hair. “Oh!” 

“Be easy, little maid,” Thor rolls his thumb around your nipple. “You will enjoy it well.” 

[wolfspaw]

Read this......thepenisinhermouth. Did you read, "The pen 🖋️ is in her mouth?" You dirty mind you! ☝️😯

[idlesuperstar]

this speaks to me on a molecular level

[misskaboom]

[blazelsvixen]

The fun things we can do!! Grrr gett it inn 🐯🐉😈😋