#choosing one of anything as always is torture lol

[littleragondin]

Thai BL Favorite List

I have been tagged by @troubled-mind thank you so much!

Credit to @thatgirl4815 for the original.

Favorite Thai BL:

Until We Meet Again. I have seen my fair share of BL now, especially Thai, but somehow, I always come back to this one. I think it just packs up SO many things I love. Soulmates, sure, but also great friendships, two very different romantic dynamics I both really enjoy, tragedy but with the hope and reassurance that things actually do get better, and maybe most of all incredible family and siblings’ history and relationships. I love the story, the way it’s told and the time it takes to weave itself, I love the characters and the cast, how it looks and the music. I have seen it a few times now and it still has the same grip on my heart than when I first watched it week after week when it came out.

Favorite Pairing:

While I don’t really like the concept of fixed pairing (let actors mix up! Surprise me! Make me fall in love with improbable pairs!), I’d lie if I say there are no actor duo I really enjoy seeing together so. I will say that I am very fond of and happy to get to see JamFilm again and will 100% track whatever they do together after that if it ever happens.

And there is something I find especially adorable in JoongDunk, I have to say (don’t ask me to explain, just cute).

Most underrated actor:

I pondered over that one for a long time, as there are many actors I’d love to see more recognized and all. But I will go with Big Thanakorn. I greatly enjoyed him in everything I have seen him in, and at this point I really would like a nice main role for him (where he f i n a l l y get the goddamn boy please and thank you).

(*whispers* also please look at him)

Favorite Character:

Just… just one? Do you also want me to pick a single child to save? CRUEL. PITILESS. (ಡ‸ಡ)

Okay, okay, OKAY. Probably the hardest one of the whole bunch because my heart is huge and houses many m a n y characters whom I love dearly. But I think if I had to pick only one, I would go with In Chatpokin from UWMA. He is so bright and so brave, he loves so much and so sincerely, and he is so tragically young. He's flawed, in the way humans and young people are, but he's just.. he feels like someone I would also love in real life, and I do think he is fantastic as a character. So, yeah, I'd pick In.

 Favorite Side Character:

Once again after long deliberation etc etc... I will go with Rit from Triage. I was so incredibly invested in his survival and happiness it was borderline ridiculous. He was sweet and tragic and deserved so much better than the cards he had been handed at the start! I could have handled any end where he was doing ok that's how much i loved him (tho to be fair all the secondary characters in that show were great). Could not find a gif so have a still for him!

Favorite Scene in a BL:

That one is subject to change as often as the weather because I am a fickle beast, but brain provided the 'morning after' scene from Ghost Host, Ghost House. The quiet normalcy of it, the way they laugh and smile at each other, I really adored that scene.

Favorite Line in a BL:

I have a terrible memory and I can't really remember a lot of exact lines from the BL I have seen. EXCEPT I actually know a lot of lines from "To Sir, With Love" which must means something (it means i have khun chai brain rot, mainly) so that's where my pick will come from. And I think, both because of what it says about the character and his struggles and desires, and the way it is delivered (which always breaks my heart) it has to be:

"So my mother had to keep the secret that I like men. If everyone knows, the Song family will be ruined because of me. I don’t want to be the head of the association. I never wanted to. I just want to be me."

(not the scene I'm quoting but the emotion is The SameTM)

Most Anticipated BL (and why):

Right now I think it has to be a tie between I Feel You Linger in the Air (time travel! Costume drama! Pain! Women in love! Also excited to see more of Nonkul whose cameo in “Oh No! Here Comes Trouble” I really enjoyed)

and The Whisperer (horror! Fluke with long hair! Murder and mystery! Blood! Horror again! Did I mention Fluke with long hair?!).

Healthiest Relationship in BL:

We are getting more and more of those, aren't we? Making the choice more difficult but for once, a nice problem to have I'd say. I have seen some excellent choices but I think I will go with all the relationships in Secret Crush on You. Intouch and Daisy are OBVIOUS in how respectful and adorable they are, SkyJao make an excellent show of being respectful of your partner's desires and boundaries as well as the importance of being open about your vulnerability, and even TohNueah ok? Yes, yes they both are SUPER weird and borderline (to straight up) creepy BUT they learn to talk it out and to compromise so they can harmonize their weirdness into something that is respectful of the other. I'll pick the rainbow babies.

Most Toxic Relationship in BL:

I mean, I saw TT so … But ignoring this one, my mind immediately went to Mork/Pi from FUTS. As much as I wanted to like it, I just think that between the manipulation and the way it always follow the 'Mork insists it's best and Pi yields despite his objections and discomfort' formula, this is a recipe for disaster. (also I love Pi SO DAMN MUCH and I just want to pluck him out of there)

Guilty Pleasure Series:

I try to not feel guilty about things I enjoy, especially not on there. But if it's something I would not necessarily recommend when I want to look like I have refined tastes... I'd pick Rakdiao I think. It's a sitcom with all the genre imply from the humor to the taped laughs and over played reactions but I loved it! It's super silly and the characters are a bit cartoonish, but it's pretty and fun and when it picks up the relationship between Rak and Diao is actually really nice. And there are some genuine moments of really well acted emotions that I love replaying (Rak's realization that he loved Diao? ART)

Most Underrated Series:

So many of them! I’m so happy to see “He’s Coming to Me” second rising because it’s deserved, I do hope Suar’s success in La Pluie will lead people to give “You’re My Sky” a chance (because it’s great and so so SO pretty), and I hope people will watch “To Sir, with love” for more JamFilm post Laws of Attraction. But for this one I will pick two other shows (I know I know) that I feel deserve to have more people give it a chance (and that will feed into my ‘a sad story is not a bad story’ agenda).

First is “The Miracle of Teddy Bear”. It took me some time before I started this one because the echo I heard about it were so negative it kind of turned me off. And I think it’s a tragedy! Not only because I loved it (which I obviously did), but also because it has an extremely talented cast, it had so much to say about so many important things, while being very honest all along about the story it was telling. I think it’s underappreciated mostly because people wanted another story told (I know some people said the ending came out of nowhere and like… I could not disagree harder! It was the natural conclusion to that story!) and because I think Nut is an incredibly misunderstood character (I loved him beyond words, and he made me think so much of when @bengiyo said “y’all don’t like gay men when we’re not pretty, funny, sexy, or entertaining” because yes, most of the time he really is none of those things, he’s hurt and angry and he has ugly reactions and MAN I felt SO much for him). I mean sure, be aware that it’s not just a fluffy comedy before you get into it, and it has its flaws too, but I think it told a beautiful story that had a lot of heart in it – and for that it does deserve more chance, and if you were toying with the idea of watching this one, consider this your sign to actually try it!  

Second, I will say “Something in My Room”. I really enjoyed that one, not only because I have a soft spot for ghosts (tho if you follow me, you know I do), but because I thought it had a pretty solid story in there, and once again it’s a story that stayed true to what it was telling. It’s necessary to watch the uncut version (the cut one is apparently taking off huge plot-central moments), but I think it deserved more attention than it got. The cast is really good once again, it has a lot of fantastic and complex female characters, I think Nut Supanut was an absolute DELIGHT in this one (with an adorable smile), and while it sometimes wavers a little on some of the things it touches upon, generally speaking it was a solid little show (I especially liked the theater show, and everything with Big’s character alien metaphor). (also it has Big in glasses and that HAS to count for something)

+BONUS

Favorite Setting/Location:

Look, listen, listen. Give me an aquarium, ok? You can NEVER go wrong with an aquarium, there is something about the light in those either it’s blue, green, or slightly purple, about the overwhelming immensity of all that water while you’re safe behind the glass, about the pretty fishes… I do adore an aquarium. Peak romance peak colors peak location.

I know most everyone has done it, and I may tag people who already answered (if so please forgive me) but maybe @petrichoraline @benkaaoi, @silverquillsideas @nonkul and @heretherebedork if you felt like it?

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Mordecai probably lives in an apartment or something, but my first thought when you brought up the Caves on that post was that he won’t tell us because he’s been living in the Caves the Whole Time. Even tho he’d hate the slime mold.

yeah a Whole Damn House would be a bit much, and probably not as useful for the nightly bootlegging related goings on: see, freckle needing to stand around waiting for a ride before he can go shoot people. whereas mordecai can show up to the maribel hotel on foot, or at least have started out somewhere he could get a cab or whatever....and this is probably the closest to any relevant Living Situation Glimpses

someplace with a bed, and one with an art deco headboard....a modern style, so it's neither Antique nor unfancy enough to have less identifiable stylings at all. like just by guessing surely he lives in some apartment that's unassuming enough to live unassumingly in, with whatever alias, so something large & fancy would be unhelpful....plus if he's gonna be fairly rigorous in his domestic upkeep, it wouldn't really help to have a huge place, even if for the same reasons it wouldn't be too small (or old or otherwise unpleasant; hard no to slime mold, slime, or mold....) and like re: the rotating aliases, maybe he moves places fairly regularly for good measure, been at this like, a decade....tl;dr probably has some apartment/s that's roomy but not huge, nice but not Fancy fancy, at the nexus of practicality, resources, and preferences

but it's important to think about "what if mordecai's been living in the caves the whole time" b/c that's funny lmao

[fuzzyunicorn]

Lil Satanists… surrender or be put to the sword

[aaagustd]

movie night | choi seungcheol (m)

title: movie night pairing: seungcheol x (f)reader genre/rating: established relationship, pwp; 18+ summary: You’re definitely still mad at him, but he’s so hot. wc: 1.6k warnings: mentions horror movies and stuff, reader is trying to “i’m scared” her way into getting some dick, mentions periods/pms, kissing, missionary, makeup sex, big dick!cheol, unprotected sex, they’re so cute lol, i think that’s all note: i wrote this one day bc i was in my feelings lol. i hope you like this little october parting gift. it’s unedited bc i've been super busy so i apologize for my trash lol.

inbox | join my taglist | divider credit

“That’s not my scarecrow.”

You clutch your blanket close to your body as you sit surrounded by darkness on your living room couch. Your boyfriend, Seungcheol, is seated beside you. Although he’s only inches away it seems like you’re miles apart emotionally. 

There haven’t been too many words exchanged between you over the past few days. You can’t recall the subject of the argument, or the catalyst—but you’re days away from your period and if you’re being honest, deep down, you miss your man.

However, you’re as stubborn as they come. Hoisting your white flag isn’t an option for you. He’s usually the one who resolves these things. You can’t understand why all of a sudden he has to match your energy. He’s doing this on purpose to torture you.

As you stare at the screen, already knowing what is in store for the elderly woman with the shotgun in hand, mischief creeps its way into your mind—conjuring a sinister but genius plan to grant you some of your boyfriend’s attention. You’ve seen this movie more times than you can count, and have added it to your Top 10; but tonight, you’ll pretend it is too much for your poor little heart.

After the gunshots, the TV is dark and quiet, and then suddenly the lady appears. She comes closer and closer to her front porch, her cats screeching and scurrying in fear as they lay eyes on a sight not visible to the pair of stranded siblings and the movie viewers. You hold your breath, waiting for the perfect moment—and then, it happens.

The creature drops the woman’s limp body and reveals himself, leaving everyone shocked by the sudden character death. You pretend to be frightened by the jumpscare, purposefully shifting closer to Seungcheol as you bounce out of your seat with your false fear.

Instead of offering one of his strong arms for comfort, you’re given a cold side-eye, but the failed attention doesn’t falter your determination. You wait for another startling scene, and once again, you stage a dramatic reaction. This time, whether it’s out of annoyance or concern is unknown, he acknowledges you.

“Scared?”

Timidly, you offer a small nod. You secretly hope it is as feeble as you strived for it to be.

“Come here,” he beckons, opening his arms for you to come over and snuggle against his chest. 

You leap at the opportunity faster than you intended, but he either doesn’t notice or just chooses not to say anything. Once you’re next to him, head resting on his chest while your leg is thrown over his lap—he wraps his right arm around you and surrounds you with warmth. You smile, but only until the movie is over.

After about 30 minutes, the credits roll, and the movie is over. You stretch, knowing it’s time to go get some sleep because you have work in the morning. As you stand and start walking to your bedroom, you’re puzzled when you don’t hear the familiar sound of Seungcheol dragging his feet behind you. 

“You’re not coming?” you ask, turning around to see if there’s any sign of him preparing for bed.

Unfortunately, he seems comfortable where he is. It’s not like he has work tomorrow, like you. However, you always move to the bedroom at the same time. You’re taken aback by the random change of plans.

“Later.”

You hope the darkness conceals your disappointment. Tomorrow morning you’ll wake up horny, but you’ll probably die if someone touches you while you’re PMSing. You want to fuck now, so tomorrow your hormones won’t be all over the place, but you won’t ask. Your pride is too high.

“Okay. Well, goodnight.”

“Night, baby,” he replies, not even watching your defeated figure walk away.

Your legs carry you to your room and you fall on the bed face first, burying your head in the comforter to mask your sigh of frustration. You aren’t sure how long you lie there, but you begin to fall asleep. However, the sound of your boyfriend’s voice makes you jolt with surprise.

“Shit! What the fuck!”

His laughter fills the room, but you don’t find anything funny. He nearly scared your soul out of your body. You send a pillow flying towards his head.

“When did you become such a pussy?” he asks, catching the object in mid-air.

“Shut up, you just startled me.”

“Sure, I did. Did the movie startle you too?”

Rolling your eyes, you return your head to the covers, shielding yourself from his teasing. You don’t bother making room for him because you’re still a little pissed. You figure he’ll just leave you alone and sleep on the couch but then his cold fingertips touch the back of your thigh and your mood changes drastically.

They begin to travel across your exposed skin, eventually crawling under your large t-shirt, a “borrowed” item of his. You can only imagine the look on his face when he finds nothing but panties underneath. Sure, he knows how you sleep, but he probably wasn’t expecting you to dress so conveniently tonight.

You exhale a soft moan as his fingers tickle your inner thighs, and he’s quick to notice the way you’ve crumbled in a matter of seconds. 

“I mean… it’s okay to be scared, baby.”

“I’m not scared, asshole,” you mumble into the fabric. “Just go back to the—”

“Want me to ease your mind?” When silence falls over the room, he mistakes it for rejection and withdraws his hand. “I’ll sleep on the couch.” 

Your reaction leaves him smirking, but you don’t care how desperate you appear.

“No, come to bed,” you insist, grabbing his shirt. 

As he slips one of his arms around your waist you pull him closer, making his knees hit the edge of the bed.

“Is that what you want?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

It only takes seconds before your lips connect for a slow and gentle kiss. It’s a silent peace offering, a surrender to all the desires you both have held onto out of stubbornness. Seungcheol naturally gains all the control, using his dominance to take the lead. His confidence earns your submission, and you allow him to gently guide you back on the bed. 

Climbing on top of you, he can’t bear to pull away. He removes his shirt in a swift motion, tossing it across the room while he continues his trail of kisses down your neck. Your body arches off the bed as he removes your panties, aiding him by kicking your legs until they slip off your ankles. Once you are bare, you spread your legs for him and he settles between your thighs.

“Look at you,” he taunts, leaving you squirming beneath him. “Not so bratty now, huh?”

Seungcheol’s hand finally touches your pussy, leaving you gasping for air. Words get trapped in your throat, making you croak out responses to the pleasure you’re feeling between your legs.

“Please.”

Your begging grasps his attention and he pauses briefly to look into your eyes.

“What are you asking for?” 

He continues to slowly massage your clit, causing your crevice to become soaked with your arousal. You hear the lewd sounds it makes as he dips his fingers in and out of your heat. It’s almost shameful, but there’s no room for modesty in your bedroom.

“This,” you say clearly while your palm presses firmly against his crotch. His dick feels hard and solid; even through his thick sweatpants. You’re pleased to know you aren’t the only one eager for some relief. 

Seungcheol hisses in agony as your hand lazily strokes his sensitive length. His sculpted forearms tremble as he struggles to hold up his weight while watching the scene unfold. 

“I need it.”

In an instant, your wish is granted. He springs into action by standing up and pulling down his pants and underwear in one motion. You prop yourself on your elbows so you can watch the way his dick stands at attention, begging to fill your soddened center.

Seconds later, he returns, climbing on top of you and lowering his head. As you chase each other’s lips, you feel him near your opening. Your hips rise off the bed, trying to meet his tip so he can sink into your warmth. 

You gasp when he slips inside, relieved that the teasing is now over. Wrapping your limbs around his body, you pull him closer, wanting to feel his lips on you once more.

Your moans pour into each other’s mouths as your boyfriend begins fucking you with deep thrusts. You hold onto him tightly while he whispers the filthiest things in the sweetest ways you’ll ever hear.

He brings you closer and closer to your peak with every snap of his hips. The tension building in your core starts to become unbearable. Seungcheol can feel the way you’re clenching around him and delivers his final thrusts with precision.

As your cries of pleasure fill the dark bedroom, you can hear the neighbors banging on the wall. Both of you laugh, knowing a nasty note will be left on your door in the morning.

“Can you do me a favor?” he asks.

You nod, of course. “Anything.”

Feeling invincible in your post-orgasmic high, you’re ready to take on the world.

“The next time you wanna act scared, pick a movie you haven’t watched a thousand times.”

Instead of throwing another pillow at him, you smack him with it instead. He falls over dramatically, but his giggles can’t be controlled. You can only roll your eyes and take his advice. 

Damn. He knows you too well.

---

If anyone can guess which movie they were watching without using Google, I will hug you lol.

[ratioaven]

spoilers for 2.1 !!!!!!!

aventurine rant, please keep in my mind that these are my own thoughts and interpretations. im extremely sleep deprived lol so im sorry if i got anything wrong

something thats been on my mind since yesterday are these lines.

from the start to me, it was very clear aventurine had self esteem/worth issues because of how he treats his own life, but the line that says “the other hand is below the table, clutching your chips for dear life” stuck out to me.

i always assumed aventurine was so incredibly confident in his luck but in reality he is afraid. he’s terrified that he’ll lose. it’s an act. he convinces himself, he fools himself, he forces himself to act like he’s confident he’ll win, when in reality even if he does win, he’s still clutching his chips under the table for dear life because of how terrified he is of losing.

that really messed with me to be honest. i feel tricked and what’s ironic is that he tricks his opponents into thinking he’s confident, and he also tricked ME the player but really, this made my heart break in two because i had absolutely no clue up until now.

so why does he act this way

all throughout his life, aventurine has had his pride stripped away. just try to imagine being in his shoes. i myself do not think i could deal with the situations he was put in. i cannot stress this enough, aventurine has a mark on his neck that screams to him that he has once belonged to someone. he has had his pride stripped away from him countless times. but it’s ironic because aventurine is introduced as a very prideful and flashy man. you start to realize the front aventurine puts on is his own way of protecting himself. it’s how he’s able to live basically. i wanna go into more detail but i will later.

as it was said before, aventurine is an uptight person who worries. he is extremely afraid of losing and he has a massive inferiority complex. aventurine may seem like a go lucky person on the outside, but in actuality he is not. he is not happy. he has no self worth, he believes he has nothing to live for, and he has no problem with throwing his life away. aventurine believes the only good thing he brings to the table is his luck.

but this brings me to my next point.

aventurine may not realize it, but he is so much more than his luck. he has so many good qualities and he doesn’t seem to realize it. even if some of it may be an act, he’s still able to pull it off. he’s still an intelligent business man who is both charming and cunning EVEN if it may be an act, those are still amazing qualities to have in his line of work.

but more importantly, aventurine chose to live. despite witnessing his family die, being a slave, and tortured, he chose to live. he chooses to. i cannot stress this enough. this man has gone through hell and back. he truly has had an incredibly difficult life to the point where my heart hurts so so badly for him. he made the decision to stay alive.

that says more than enough about his character.

and last but not least, aventurine wants one thing, and that is to be with his family. he’s witnessed horrible things in his life that no one should ever go through. he lost everyone close to him, he lost his people. he has nothing to live for and he values his life so little to the point where he has no problem with dying. the only real thing that he wants is just to see his family.

and he will one day, but in the meantime, i genuinely hope this man can find a reason to live, and ratio already gave him one just by that note. i just truly wish aventurine happiness while he lives the rest of his life.

i guess this is a topic that really hits me hard because i know all too well that choosing to live life isn’t easy sometimes and i just love aventurine.

let’s all appreciate how truly amazing his character is.

[fangdokja]

MASTERPOST

Jesus Appreciation + Male Yanderes + Dead Dove + Psychological

♡ Side Blog - Devil's Antagonist

Current Polls:

What length do you prefer for daily story content (SFW / NSFW)? ,

"How are you still here? There are other yandere authors, you know." ,

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Do you want slow burn or smutty horror? ,

If you were isekai’d into my stories, what would you do?

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“Should I Open Anon Requests? Or Are You Just Scared of Me? 👀”

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Preface

♡ Dedication. I love Jesus Christ. Without Him, and my husband, I would’ve longed killed myself. I dedicate my everything to my God, including my blog, books, etc.

♡ Dark Content. Yeah, I write dark content; but it’s because it makes me cherish the light more since I know darkness intimately. Just shows that I need Jesus and my husband all the more. In fact, I wouldn’t be able to write any of this or do anything without God and my husband. So, this isn’t just my work alone. If you want to learn more on why I write dead dove content, read here.

♡ Disclaimer. And just because I write this doesn't mean I condone such behavior. I genuinely enjoy writing dark fudged up shiz. It's therapeutic for me. As weird as it is, I can NEVER relate to "happy" stories, fluff and slice-of-life seems like a fantasy to me.

♡ I love my husband. I love spending time with my God and my husband. I'm hardcore simp, lol. Whenever I write, I always think of my husband for example, it helps me write a lot.

♡ BEFORE entering, please read this. GENERAL RULES + REQUEST RULES

♡ Dead Dove + Mature Content. Due to the nature of my content, please read responsibly (with a mature mindset)! Welcome and please enjoy my blog! God bless!

♡ Favorite Bible Book. Lamentations 3:1-2 : “I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of the LORD’s wrath. He had driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light;”

All 9 Masterlists:

♡ IMPORTANT. I'm honestly unsure what Tumblr bans when it comes to sexual content and gore in writing. So, just in case, please follow or save the sites: the author's official website or Ao3, so the content you read doesn't get banned nor lost.

♡ A Letter to my Readers. To my readers, especially if you're the weird one who actually reads God's Protagonist,

♡ 🎁. Available for Reader Requests. Make sure to read the RULES! If you made a request and want to see if it was approved / current status, please look HERE. ♡ 🔞. NSFW / extremely explicit themes (non-con, sexual torture, dangerous edge play, degradation, humiliation, BDSM, etc.) ♡ Blog Design Tips. Want to learn graphic design for your blogs and fics? HERE.

♡ For Reader-Inserts. I only write Male Yandere x Female (Fem.) Reader (heterosexual couple). No LGBTQ+:

♡ Masterlists Order. The following works are arranged by order of writing priority:

Light in the Abyss: A Jesus Journey

♡ Light in the Abyss. Want a break from all the dark content or even life in general? Here's some Jesus comfort from the One who loves you more than anyone or anything else ever will :))

🔞God's Protagonist

♡ God's Protagonist. If you want the most tragic, taboo, trauma-inducing, grimdark epic story. And, my #1 project, as I'm using all my current books to hone my skills and eventually polish and work on this extremely long epic.

🎁A Heart Devoured (AHD): A Dark Yandere Anthology

♡ A Heart Devoured. The middle ground of all the books, can be be a light or dark read, depending on what reader insert story you pick. Also available for original yandere (OC’s) requests.

Request Rules Fandom and Characters

🎁World Ablaze (WA): For You, I'd Burn the World.

♡ World Ablaze. The second lightest read in the blog featuring yandere anime, manga, manhwa, and video game characters; as well as, the ONLY book readers can make fanfiction requests to.

Request Rules Fandom and Characters

🔞Forbidden Fruits (FF): Intimate Obsessions, Unhinged Desires.

♡ Forbidden Fruits. If you want an erotic, taboo, dark Yandere series featuring anime, manhwa, video games, etc. characters.

🎁Whispers in the Dark (WITD): Subtle Devotion, Lingering Shadows.

♡ Whispers In The Dark. If you want the lightest read in the blog featuring short form content such as headcanons, drabbles, and snippets of light yandere content from both original and fandom yanderes.

Request Rules Fandom and Characters

Ink & Insight (I&I): From Dead Dove to Daydreams.

♡ Ink & Insight. The writer's essential to fictional writing, no matter what genre you may be in. Though, if you're a dark content writer, then you're in for a treat.

Yandere Psychology: A Comprehensive Taxonomy of Obsessive and Possessive Love

♡ Yandere Psychology. For the extreme writers, analysts and yandere enthusiasts.

Zero-Triggers Library

♡ Zero-Triggers. If you want manhwa, manga, novel recommendations.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Current January Schedule for New Content or Reblogs:

Sunday - World Ablaze

Monday - World Ablaze

Tuesday - A Heart Devoured

Wednesday - Whispers In The Dark

Thursday - A Heart Devoured

Friday - Forbidden Fruits

Saturday - Forbidden Fruits

♡ Whispers In The Dark. This book does not have a consistent or set schedule, because of its shorter form content. Usually, the author uses this as idea generation and non-con smut writing practice. Unlike, the usual works, this requires less planning for long form content. Thus, it can be updated DAILY compared to other works.

♡ Ink & Insight. This book does not have a consistent or set schedule, as it's similar to an author creating journal entries, alongside spearheading a continuous learning process for self-development of its readers.

♡ Favorite Yanderes to Write. Scar (WuWa), Granger (MLBB), Geshu Lin (WuWa), Isagi Yoichi (BL), Itoshi Sae (BL)

♡ Most challenging Yanderes for me to write. ANY ISTJ, Itto, maybe other dumb yanderes, anything criminal investigation (very fun but also challenging).

Additional Content: ♡ About Me Contact Me Art Gallery (Tumblr) ♡ Memes / Miscellaneous

Characters I relate to, but not limited to:

═════════════════

The author's works are only available in the following sites:

Official Website: https://dokjafang.wordpress.com/

Royal Road: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/99582/gods-protagonist

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Traditional Publishing: (Future plans)

Official Art: (Future plans)

Manhwa / Manga: (Future plans)

Disclaimer: If it's not AI generated, most artwork does not belong to me. However, I'm the one incorporating edits and my own graphic designs into the images to fit the story.

[larothoughts]

shi wudu thoughts (tgcf spoilers)

ok so i don't look into fan stuff until after i finish a series and for some reason i keep having wildly different impressions of events than other people?? maybe i just can't read lol

for example: i always thought the reason shi wudu strangled shi qingxuan was to force he xuan to make the choice instead of sqx.

like, there this asshole is torturing sqx, forcing him to pick between two terrible options as a twisted way of bringing sqx down to he xuan and shi wudu's level. he wanted to make the only innocent party in this fiasco dirty his hands by choosing, because until now swd had always shielded sqx. he never had to face the two-men-one-cup problem as swd always bore the guilt of choice for the both of them. sqx's naive optimism (paid for by he xuan's tragedy) is therefore both infuriating and endearing to he xuan. and after days of trying to get sqx to not interfere, he finally decides that sqx must suffer for his ignorance.

so there he xuan is menacing the two of them: sqx crying and having a meltdown and still trying to find a way out of this with both his brother and best friend intact. swd powerless and at he xuan's mercy, snapping at sqx to pull himself together. i know the common interpretation is very face value: that swd would rather he and sqx die than be cursed to wander around with horrible fates.

i just find it more interesting to consider that swd's last act successfully took the choice out of sqx's hands.

my assumption when reading was that swd did not actually want sqx to die. he simply knew the best way to keep sqx from choosing was to force he xuan to kill swd first. remember, swd has watched over sqx and 'ming yi' for centuries at this point. these last few days have also made him aware of how he xuan consistently protects sqx even now. the best way to get him to abandon his plan and kill swd outright, then, is to threaten one of the few things he xuan still seems to care about: sqx's life.

swd's sudden beheading achieved everything he wanted: sqx spared the guilt and regret of having to make one choice over the other; swd cemented in the role of the ultimate villain even to his brother by his attempted fraticide; and the last leg of he xuan's plan derailed. even better, it was a sign to he xuan that shi wudu knew.

the main takeaway i got from the shi brothers' backstory was that swd would do literally anything to keep his brother safe. maybe that's why i figured the only way he'd try to strangle sqx to death was if he was absolutely sure he xuan would kill him before he succeeded. it was swd's final fuck you to he xuan, forcing him acknowledge the steep price of his revenge: his relationship with sqx, and the affection shi wudu knows he still holds for him.

[suugarbabe]

I love the twins too!

Imagine Draco practicing the imperious curse o! different students and he does it on the reader and she starts acting differently but one of the twins (you choose 😉) notices and tells everyone and they try to break her out of it but he is the only one who can because she’s in love with him … or something like that lol

Ohh interesting interesting… I’ll give it a go

Under the Influence

pairing: Fred Weasley x Y/n

Warnings: None, lil fluffy

Things had been getting weird at Hogwarts. This year the school was hosting the TriWizard Tournament, and the school got yet another new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Professor Moody was not like the typical DADA professors that came through. It was rumored that he showed the fourth years all three unforgivable curses. Fred could only laugh in disbelief when his brother told him.

“I’m being serious!” Ron squeaked, still a little unnerved, “He showed us all three and he used a…spider.” He whispered the last word like it was more foul than the curses themselves. George rolled his eyes, “You’ve really got to get over that Ronald. Makes you look like a wuss.” Ron rolled his eyes, mumbling to himself before starting to stuff his face.

You walked up to your seat next to Fred to find the three brothers still discussing the events of the DADA class, as well as Ron’s fear of spiders. “You know Ronald you really should get over that fear,” you chimed in, the twins stifling a laugh. Ron finally piped up, “Moody really is mad, I’m telling you. Him showing us these curses like it’s no big deal is gonna cause the Slytherins to start bloody trying them.”

You scoffed, “Don’t even say that Ron, they can’t do that.” Ron raised his eyebrows, “I heard Malfoy was trying the imperius curse on some first years.” Your jaw dropped, moving to stand from the table “Absolutely not, where is that vile piece of sh-”.

“Woah there, love, sit back down,” Fred laughed, grabbing your hips and making you sit back down on the bench. You huffed crossing your arms and pouting slightly, “The next time I see Malfoy, he’s fucking done for.” Fred patted your head, “Okay darling, just be careful.”

———————

You had your head down as you were leaving potions, thinking about all the homework you had to complete that evening. As you turned the corner your body slammed into someone, nearly knocking both you and the other to the ground. You heard a scoff as a sinister voice scolded you, “Watch where you’re bloody going, Y/l/n.” You looked up to see none other than Draco Malfoy. You rolled your eyes, picking up your textbook you dropped on the ground, “Having fun torturing innocent first years, ferret boy?”

Malfoy glared at you, “Oh I’m having the most fun, but I bet I’d have more fun doing it to you.” You stood your ground in front of him, “You don’t have the fucking balls to do shit to me, Malfoy.” With that you pushed past him, starting to walk toward your next class. You didn’t make it five steps before you felt a tingling sensation come over you, then a blanket feeling of calm and relaxation, like you were in a trance. You felt someone’s breath on your neck before you heard Malfoy’s voice in your ear, “Looks like I’ve got more than you anticipated, Y/l/n.”

Your brain was telling you to freak out. To run, to scream, to do anything of your own free will but you couldn’t. You went to the rest of your classes in a trance, not fully being able to pay attention and just going through the motions. When it was time for dinner you walked toward the great hall like you always did, walking up to your table. Fred smiled at you, scooting over for you to take your usual seat next to him.

You ignored him, going to the other side of the table to sit next to Ron. You were friendly with Ron, but you were the twins' friends first. Fred’s smile fell, “Y/n/n, what are you doing?” You didn’t look up from your plate as you spoke, “Sitting next to the cutest Weasley.” Ron’s cheeks immediately flushed pink and George and Fred both looked at each other with utter confusion. Ron was opening and closing his mouth like he was trying to respond but you cut him off, “Don’t talk Weasle-be”. Fred tilted his head at the nickname, something felt off to him.

He looked past you and Ron to see Malfoy staring at you from the Slytherin table. “Hey, Y/n, did you ever run into Malfoy today like you planned?” Fred saw a smirk curl onto Malfoy’s face from across the great hall as you shook your head, “Nope, haven’t seen him.” He huffed, not quite satisfied with your answer, though the others seemed to shrug their shoulders and continue on with their meal. As dinner concluded you got up and started heading back toward your dorm.

The others followed shortly after you. Fred quickly caught up to you, grabbing your arm and pulling you off to the side as the others continued to pass. “Are you okay, y/n? You seem a little…off?” You shook your head, “I’m not off, I’m perfectly fine.” Your tone of voice was flat. You wanted so badly to scream but you just couldn’t force yourself to do anything. Fred quirked an eyebrow, “You don’t seem like yourself, love.” You widened your eyes slightly, the most control you felt like you had. You tried to pull yourself out of the curse Malfoy put you under but all you could do is make your eyes get slightly teary.

At this Fred grabbed your arm and quickly got you back to the Gryffindor common room, calling out for Hermione desperately as room as he stepped through the portrait hole with you in tow. He sat you down on the couch as Hermione came rushing down the stairs, “What is it Fred? What’s wrong?” The others were quick to follow her, seeing what the commotion was about.

“It’s y/n, I think somethings wrong. I think she actually did run into Malfoy today. I bet he used the imperius curse on her,” Fred was boiling mad, clenching and unclenching his fists. Hermione crossed her arms, “That seems like a stretch doesn’t it, Fred?” George nodded, “Yeah, Freddie, how can you tell?” Fred just shook his head, “I just know. I know this isn’t Y/n.” Your turned to look at Fred and he met your eyes, you could see it in his face how worried he was about you and it made your heart sore. You’ve heard of some witches and wizards being able to break out of the imperius curse on their own and you kept trying, but the best you could do is make yourself stutter over the response that wasn’t truly how you felt, “N-no, Weasle-be I’m f-fine. You can l-leave me alone now.”

At that Hermione’s posture stiffened, “Okay you’re right friend. The only person I’ve ever heard call you guys that is that slime of a boy, Malfoy.” Hermione stood in front of you, taking your hands in hers. You met her eyes as she spoke, “I can tell you’re trying to fight it y/n, you’re struggling saying what I’m sure Malfoy has instructed you for certain situations.” Your eyes welled up again as you involuntarily plastered on a smile.

The ground struggled with how to help you. Hermione educated them on ways to break the curse, that some powerful witches and wizard can break it of their own free will, while other times the curse can last until the caster has died. George, Ron and Harry all agreed to happily kill Draco for his actions. Hermione hit them all on the arm, telling them to be realistic. The last Hermione knew of was the curse just waring off. They discussed how long Draco may have set the curse to last.

Fred shook his head, “That goblin shit could have set it for a day to a month. We can’t just wait around and see.” He turned on the couch to face you, making your body do the same to him. He grabbed your face in his hands, your eyes meeting his. You loved his eyes. They were the prettiest color hazel, brown mixing with green in the most mesmerizing way. “I’m gonna try something, okay y/n? Don’t get freaked out, I just wanna see if it works,” he spoke, looking from your eyes to your lips and back.

Your heart rate started to pick up as you understood what he was implying he was about to do. He leaned in closer to whisper in your ear, apparently not wanting the others to hear what he was about to say. “I’ve also just been wanting to do this for a while, so hopefully this works and you can tell me you’ve been wanting to do this as well.” The others stood, waiting with anticipation on what Fred could possibly do that they haven’t already discussed.

Fred leaned his forehead against yours, taking a deep breath. “Here goes nothing,” he mumbled. Ever so gently, Fred met your lips with his. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t dreamt of this scenario for months. His lips were soft against yours, you wanted so badly to reach up and tangle your hands in his read locks and pull him closer. One of Fred’s hands slid from your cheek to the back of your neck to pull you closer. In an instant your hands shot to his neck, one arm wrapping around him as the other tangled itself in the hair at the back of his neck like you had been fantasizing about.

After another moment or two you pulled away, breathing heavily but a goofy grin plastered on your face. Fred looked at you with hooded eyes, “There she is, there’s my girl.” Your cheeks tinted pink at his verbiage. You turned to look at the others who just stood there, dumbfounded looks across their faces. George was the first one to form a different facial expression. Unsurprisingly it was a smirk as he spoke up, “I can’t wait to tell Jordan this. He owes me ten galleons now.”

You quickly grabbed a pillow, chucking it at the boy. You turned back to Fred, “How did you know that would work? That kissing me would help me break from the curse?” He shrugged his shoulders, “I didn’t know for sure, but I couldn’t just wait around and let a grease ball control you.” You smiled, brushing a piece of hair behind Fred’s ear before pulling him into once more.

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

Holy moly, your last story had me feeling feelings.

The sentence about the unborn baby being jealous got me thinking tho, what if their kid inherited some of Donna's possessive traits, like always wanting to be by y/n's side, much to the chagrin of poor Donna, who hasn't been able to cuddle reader at night without a (sometimes two) little body wiggling into their bed. And as their daughter grows, she kinda sees Donna as a threat, someone who takes her moms attention away. Donna doesn't rightly know how to deal with the feeling of love for her child, and annoyance at not having reader for themselves.

UNTIL one day when reader and child is taking a walk through the forest, and a couple of men comes up and threatens them, only for mama Donna to turn up and rescue them. Both Donna and her daughter have a revelation that day: Donna from how scared she would be if anything happened to both her love and her child, and daughter from how she now sees Donna as her mama too, who would always protect and love her. And they make an unspoken pact about protecting reader always xD

You don't have to write this if you don't want to, I just got the mama Donna brainrot lol

Thanks for feeding us starving queers some quality Donna content

Yesss!!!! Thank you for your words, and for your request! I'm glad to read you enjoyed that one!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!! :))))

A long road to motherhood

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: G!P Donna (implied), slightly dark themes, Donna's POV

Word count: 7,112

Summary: How I can be jealous of my own daughter?

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! This is a sequel to this one!!! I love you all!!! :))

As they say, time heals wounds.

After almost losing you, after seeing how life became more and more distant from your sight, I was able to get you back.

A miracle, the sign that my sins were forgiven, I couldn't say what exactly it was. I have always thought that coincidence doesn’t exist, even when I met you, a bad deed that was rewarded, a trip to hell of having you immobile in a bed. I could never forget the two weeks when I almost lost you, when my whole world almost collapsed, because of me.

But no, life stopped torturing me, you woke up, you woke up wanting to make me feel good, to forgive me, to continue loving me as I didn't think you did.

If I had to keep a memory in my mind, only one, I would choose the moment in which I turned my head and saw your eyes open, your sweet look from that stretcher, life shining in your eyes again, looking at me.

I made an effort not to torture myself, to not let the nightmares make my nights impossible. It could be because I was still mentally ill, I couldn't separate myself from what life had given me, but I had to be strong. It was no longer you and me. There was someone, someone much more important to care for, someone to fight day and night for with my demons, with my jealousy, with my stupid and sick way of being: our daughter, Giovanna.

Born from my mistakes, from my pathological possessiveness, that girl represented everything pure that was missing in my life. My family, our family had been formed thanks to the biggest mistake of my life, thanks to that horrible afternoon in which I took what I thought was mine.

Luckily, the girl kept me away from your screams of terror, from the way you resisted my actions. Little by little I began to forget it, especially when I saw that childish smile in the girl's eyes. She had no hard feelings. If her birth was a mistake, it would be the best one in my life.

Maybe not the way she was conceived, but I could feel proud of the change that little Giovanna Beneviento made in our lives. I almost lost you because of my selfishness, but I got you back because... Well, I couldn't say why exactly. Maybe you forgave me, maybe you never could. I didn't know, with you it was impossible to know.

The years passed, the girl grew up and with her everything we had formed by chance, because of me, settled into routine, like a new way of living, of caring, of loving...

“Asleep,” you said amused, entering the bedroom, closing the door, wearing that smile on your face, the one I didn't think I deserved.

Luck smiles on the wicked, it smiled on me, the luck of having you, of having you and our daughter. I was not worthy of such honor, such light that had appeared in the darkness of my life.

“She’s alright?” I asked, getting under the covers. You nodded, motioning with your thumb, joining me.

“Yes, she's with Angie,” you answered, kissing me quickly. I frowned, with an amused look.

“That doesn't answer my question,” I whispered, kissing her shoulder, thanking with my lips that you never left, that all my flaws seemed like just an illusion to you.

“Well, I told her the story of the princess and the eel, it is her favorite,” you said with an interesting look. I shook my head, laughing at that attitude you had, that attitude that didn't disappear even in your worst moments. I didn't deserve you.

“The princess and the frog,” I corrected, narrowing my eye, with a sinister smile. You laughed, disapproving of my correction with a wave of your hand and a tired sigh.

“No, no, Donna,” you whispered, with a mocking tone. “You heard me correctly. Eel.”

“What difference does it make?” I asked curiously, admiring your imagination, your ability to make Giovanna fall asleep every night with those made-up stories. Only you could do it.

“Oh, I'm glad you’ve asked me...” you whispered, darkening your voice, making me pay more attention to you. “Well, when the princess kisses the toad, it becomes a prince, right?”

I nodded, listening to you with curiosity, trying not to let my eye go to the scar on your arm, the one that showed the worst two weeks of my life, the ones in which I was on the verge of losing you, because of me.

“Well, in my story, when the princess kisses the eel, the prize is… an electric tickle attack!” you said loudly, attacking me mercilessly, running over my body with your restless hands, making me laugh involuntarily.

“(Y/N)...” I said, grabbing your wrists to end your torture.

“Do you like my story?” you asked, climbing onto my lap, with that shine in your eyes that made me tremble, get excited. You were so perfect, so sweet... So... Fiery.

“Is that the end?” I asked, hugging your body, keeping it close to mine, rocking it. You pretended to think about the answer, which came in the form of a tender, but hot kiss on my lips, one that made me sigh.

“Well, that's the all-audiences ending,” you purred in my ear, forcing my hands to scratch the fabric of your pajamas as a result of the subtle but perceptible movement of your hips against mine.

“Is there an alternative ending?” I asked with a low voice, impatiently putting my hand in your pants, keeping your gaze, which drifted to my lap while you nodded.

“Yes, but it can't be told,” you whispered, reacting to my touch with erratic movements of your body.

“Maybe you can show it to me,” I said, with a smile close to your lips, noticing your nervous breathing, your desire to love me once again, to let yourself be loved, this time for real, that time without arguments, without terrible ideas going through my head.

“Maybe I can,” you whispered, melting into me in a passionate, hot, wet kiss, dancing with my body, caressing my hair, my back, comically fighting with your pajamas so they would disappear from our path.

 “Mom, mom!” a shrill voice sounded behind the door, causing you to move, to turn away from me with scared eyes.

Small steps approached the bed and with the strength that a 6 year old girl could have, Giovanna climbed up to meet us.

“Gio, what are you doing here?” you asked, your face blushing. “Why did you get up?”

“I've had a nightmare...” the girl murmured, looking at me out of the corner of her eye, with a strange feeling that made me raise my eyebrow.

“Oh, a nightmare?” you said, taking the girl in her arms. “You just fell asleep, darling.”

“Yes, but I had the nightmare,” she said, looking away. Was she lying?

“Oh, poor Gio, the evil monsters again?” you asked with a tender voice, placing the little girl between the two of us.

I couldn't help but sigh tiredly. It might seem like a tender moment, a moment when our daughter needed that coveted motherly love. Well, it could be like that, but I knew it wasn't.

When she was born, she was a good baby, who cried like a normal baby, who let herself be rocked, who fell asleep in my arms. That changed over the years. Somehow, as if she had noticed the absence of her mother in the first moments of her life, she could no longer live without her.

Always with you, the girl was always with you, she cooked with you, she bathed with you, and, of course, she slept with you.

The nights stopped being a small bastion of intimacy between us when Giovanna had enough capacity to reason. Sometimes I thought she did it on purpose, to annoy me. She couldn't think that way. I really was trying not to think that way.

“Yes, mom...” the little girl sighed, causing another hug from you and a look of helplessness that you gave me over your shoulder. “Can I sleep here?”

“No, tesoro,” I said, taking the girl in my arms, in a furious outburst at that interruption.

I wouldn't have acted like that if it hadn't been the countless times it happened. “Come on, let's put you to bed.”

“No! I want to stay with mom,” the girl protested, breaking free from my grip, crawling comically across the bed to reach your arms. You laughed, shaking your head.

“(Y/N), tell her something,” I said, showing clear displeasure at the situation. My patience grew as the girl did, but lately it was slowing down, maybe too fast.

You shrugged, hugging our daughter, who seemed to be having another of her usual tantrums.

“Oh, come on, Donna, poor thing. It's okay. She can sleep with us,” you said, giving in to the little girl's emotional blackmail, to those fake tears that ran down her cheek.

“It's okay if it were the first time, (Y/N)” I said, sitting on the bed. “She has to learn to face her fears.”

“Mamma mean... Mom, mamma is mean...” Giovanna said, hanging on to your pajamas, looking at me with eyes that I wished I had never seen. They seemed full of hatred, irrational hatred. Why did she remind me so much of me?

“No, don't say that, honey, mommy Donna isn't mean, she cares about you,” you sighed, cradling the little girl in your arms.

I laughed nervously and crossed my arms, shaking my head. Despised by my own daughter, was this the punishment that awaited me for my horrible acts?

“Well, then she has to let me sleep with you,” the girl said, without bothering to look at my face.

“She's going to do it, right, Donna?” you asked, looking at me. I couldn't do anything else. I had to nod in defeat, for my own daughter.

“Oh, okay,�� I huffed, getting under the covers.

I looked at the girl, the girl looked at me and did something that made me sit up again. Her face radiated the sweet taste of victory, sticking her tongue out at me mockingly.

“Hey!” I protested, annoyed by that unpleasant gesture. “(Y/N), the girl stuck her tongue out at me.”

“Oh, come on, stop it and let's go to sleep,” you said tiredly, turning off the light on the table, enveloping the room in the deepest darkness.

I wanted to protest again, to punish Giovanna for treating me that way, but I did nothing, as always. I just crossed my arms again, pressed against the edge of the bed.

Silence finally reigned in my head, and in my ears. Frustrated and nervous, I thought about everything that was happening, about my daughter's unfair attitude towards me. You said that perhaps she had inherited that possessiveness.

 I trembled to think that it could be that way.

Of all my flaws, that was the worst. Just thinking that my daughter could become someone like me... My entire body trembled with terror at that idea, my stomach clenched as I imagined it. Giovanna had inherited almost all of my looks, that wasn't a bad thing. But that her mind worked like mine, that she thought she had to have you to herself...

No, that was something that horrified me, something I tried to ignore in each and every one of her tantrums.

With my eye open, thinking about that possibility, I spent part of the night, well, until a small foot hit me in the face, snapping me out of my own personal torture.

“Mamma, move, I don't have room,” the girl protested, causing me to grunt, pushing her small leg away with an angry gasp.

“You have plenty of room, Giovanna,” I said with a serious voice, perhaps too serious for such a young girl. She didn't seem to care and she continued kicking my body until she forced me to fall off the bed with a thud.

“Mamma, you fell,” my daughter whispered, with a malicious tone, with a tone I hated hearing.

A mocking laugh reached my ears. It wasn't the girl. It was you, (Y/N).

Did you really find it funny that my daughter looked down on me like that? My dark mind lurked in my thoughts, but I was stronger, at that moment I could control my impulses, although I didn't know for how long.

“Do you find it funny? Your daughter kicked me out of bed,” I said furiously, suddenly getting up from the floor.

“No, no, not at all,” you said, not knowing how to hide the mockery that appeared in your words.

I sighed again, running a hand through my hair, shaking my head.

“You know what? You can stay there, I'm leaving,” I said furiously, grabbing one of the cushions from the bed, leaving the room, stopped by your mocking hand on my wrist.

“Come on, Donna, stop acting like a child and go back to bed,” you said, your voice tired. I opened my eyes wide, offended by that reproach.

“Do I behave like a child?” I asked, with my hands on my hips. “Tell your daughter, she hasn't stopped until she kicked me out of bed and...”

“Donna, stop it,” you scolded me, leaving me glued to the wooden floor. “I don't know which of the two is more childish, really...” you sighed, turning around, letting me go.

I opened my mouth to say something, but my insides were churning furiously. I knew I was right, but I couldn't help but feel that it was internal rage, an uncontrolled rage that clouded my disturbed mind was the reason for all your suffering. I would never hurt you again, (Y/N), ever again.

“Buoa notte,” I whispered before disappearing down the hallway, walking towards the office.

Lying back on that old sofa, I thought about whether all of that was really a punishment, if the happiness I felt from having you next to me, from having a family, was just the illusion of reward, instead of a macabre game of hell itself.

“Hello, hello, hello, exiled again?” a familiar, too familiar voice asked, Angie, who entered the office with an amused step.

“What do you think?” I asked, settling down on that horrible sofa, looking away from that annoying doll. “If you did your job well…”

“What job?” the doll asked, jumping into my stomach, with a maddening voice that I didn't need to hear.

“Giovanna has had nightmares again,” I commented in a low voice, forcing Angie to get off my body, turning around, trying not to stick the wood of that sofa that little by little was becoming my new bed.

“Oh, I didn't know,” she muttered, climbing up again, just to annoy me. Why would my own conscience want to annoy me? It seemed like everyone was against me, as always.

“You didn’t know? You sleep with her,” I said incredulously, suspecting something I already knew. Angie shrugged, shaking her head from side to side. “Piccola bugiarda…”

“Don't blame her. She wants to be with her mother,” the doll said, downplaying the fact that my daughter was a little liar, something admirable at her age, but equally irritating.

“I'm her mother too,” I protested, sitting up, saying out loud a truth that my own daughter seemed to deny from the moment she said her first word, from the moment she decided not to separate from you.

“That's quite obvious,” Angie murmured, making me roll my eye and cross my arms, pressing my nails into my skin.

“But it seems like I’m not... Giovanna doesn't see me as such,” I said with a lower voice. “Cazzo, Angie, I can't even spend a moment with (Y/N) alone...”

“Oh...” the puppet sighed, forcing me to look at her. “I don't think you're jealous of your own daughter, Donna.”

“What? Of course I’m not,” I said immediately, separating that possibility from my head, the possibility that had been tormenting me for some time.

“Well, it seems like it,” Angie rebuked, earning a strong push from me to took her off the couch.

“Don’t say nonsense. I'm sure it's a phase or something...” I muttered, grabbing the cushion to channel my anger into that piece of fabric instead of losing my nerve.

I hadn't lost my mind for too long, I wanted you to be proud of me.

“Well, well, what you want is to be alone with (Y/N) to make more babies to get on my nerves,” the irreverent puppet commented.

I huffed tiredly. Of course, Angie was part of me. She was just as possessive and jealous as me, as Giovanna...

“You don't understand,” I said in a dark tone, looking away from her. “I adore our daughter but I would like to have time for (Y/N) and me and… Besides, I'm afraid of…”

“Of what, Donna?”

“I’m afraid of Giovanna being like me”

That night I barely slept. The erratic thoughts in my head wandered freely thanks to the lack of your body hugging mine, your heat dissipating my demons. No, I couldn't be jealous of Giovanna, I couldn't feel hatred towards the person I loved most in the world. Or maybe I can, I didn't know, I was incapable of controlling everything that was going through my head, I was incapable of not seeing myself in my daughter's hateful glances.

“Good morning, darling...” your soft voice, your caresses on my hair woke me up from my recurring nightmares, some in which my old self took control of my actions, some in which I hurt you, again. “Have you been able to sleep?”

“Yes, well, I'm used to that horrible couch,” I murmured, yawning, sitting up to return those precious caresses, that kiss that I wanted to give you to calm my senses.

“Donna,” you sighed, with a sad look, lack of that fun that always guided your life. “Come on, don't be mad.”

“I'm not mad,” I said defensively, bringing my knees to my chest. “How did the little princess sleep?” I asked, unable to prevent irony from coating my words.

“Well, well, it seems like she doesn't have nightmares anymore,” you commented, oblivious to the mockery of my question, or rather, wanting to be oblivious to it.

“Yeah, sure,” I said, shaking my head, with a fake smile on my face.

“Don't be like that with Gio, she's a little girl, it's normal that she wants to be with her mother,” you explained, never ceasing in your attempt to calm me down with your caresses.

 I wish it had been that easy from the beginning, I wish your love could have put an end to my jealousy.

“With you, of course,” I murmured angrily, squeezing my fist tightly, a fist you grabbed, undoing its shape before it hurt me, again.

“Don't have a hard time, my love. You know what Giovanna is like, she's like…”

“Like me,” I interrupted, making you sigh intensely and lower your gaze. That was what you were going to say, it doesn't matter if you denied it.

“Yes, but not in the way you're thinking,” you said, lying, I could see it in your eyes, you were lying.

Liar

“I need to take a shower,” you commented, leaving aside that interesting and dangerous topic of conversation. “Why don't you give the girl breakfast? So you spend some time together.”

“She’s going to to bite me,” I murmured, unintentionally earning another of your tender laughs, another of your quick kisses on the lips, caresses and kisses I never deserved.

“Stop protesting and act like a mother,” you said amused, leaving the office.

I growled, uncovering myself and going to look for that little monster.

“Come on, Giovanna, drink the milk...” I said, tired of the girl's obvious refusal.

Already dressed, I prepared to fulfill the task you gave me, bathing the little girl and giving her breakfast. To say it was easy was a dirty liar. It was not.

Giovanna's protests grated in my ears. She loved her mother, she loved you.

“I don't want to, where is mom?” Giovanna asked, in a childlike posture, crossing her arms and dodging each of my attempts to bring the glass to her mouth.

“Mom is taking a shower, come on, obey,” I said, already tired from that infernal bath, from the kicks and punches of protest from my daughter, from our daughter. If she didn't look so much like me, I'd think she was just yours.

“I don't want to,” the girl said, looking at me proudly. I snorted, getting angry.

“Giovanna...” I hissed threateningly, sternly. She shook her head. “Come on, don't make it more difficult for me.”

“What have you done to mom?” she asked, leaving me stunned, leaving me breathless because of that horrible accusation.

“What are you talking about, tesoro?” I asked incredulously at those words, at that question. Did she remember she existed because I forced you to? It didn't seem possible.

“Mom's not here, I'm sure it's your fault,” the girl repeated, without looking at my face, gracefully avoiding my attempts to get her to eat breakfast.

“Don't talk nonsense and have breakfast at once,” I said tiredly, ignoring that horrible accusation.

“I don't want to, I want mom to come,” Giovanna said, kicking in the chair, threatening with another tantrum.

“I told you... Mom is taking a shower,” I whispered, losing my patience. “Eat breakfast or I won't let you play with Angie.”

Apparently, the threat of punishment had an effect. The girl clumsily picked up the glass, drinking some milk. I sighed in relief, but not for long. With a mocking sound, the milk in her mouth shot into the worst possible place, into my face.

I blinked in shock at this evil act and tried to ignore the boisterous laughter of the Angie doll, who seemed to be writhing on the floor, amused at my expense.

“It's over, you're punished,” I said furiously, grabbing the little girl's arm, who protested with an exaggerated scream.

“Let me go! Mom!” the little girl yelled, disconsolately calling her mother, calling you, her savior.

“Stai zitto, Giovanna,” I said furiously with a dark voice, but maintaining my composure, wiping my face.

“Lasciami in pace!” she screeched in response, moving erratically.

“Io sono la tua mamma, ascoltami, Giovanna...” I whispered, stopping that protest as best I could, being totally incapable.

“Tu non sei la mia mamma, sei una stupida!” she screamed, insulting me, making it clear that she didn't love me, that she only loved you.

That was a hard blow for my fragile mind, too hard.

“Hey, hey...” your voice resonated to calm that bloody battle, appearing from the hallway with a gaze fixed on the girl, with a frown. “What's going on here? If you're going to fight, at least do it in my language, will you?”

 “Your daughter, (Y/N), that's what's happening,” I said furiously, unable to get rid of the strong accent that anger made me have. You approached, shaking your head, running a hand through my hair.

“What happened to you? Has a cow fallen on your face?” you joked, making the girl laugh in amusement, being picked up by your protective arms.

I didn't know what to say, I simply tried to fight against my wounded heart, against the tears that threatened to slide down my cheek.

With a growl, I walked away from you, quickly, ignoring your calls.

“Donna! Hey, Donna! Come here,” you shouted, calling me. I turned to look at you, but I could only see the girl's triumphant eyes, ones that almost made me lose control.

I ignored your screams, going down to the basement, running quickly towards my room, containing the rage that was beginning to build up in my fists.

Furious, I kicked a chair, kicked the bed, and pulled my hair. The situation was unbearable but... No, I couldn't lose my mind in front of you, of our daughter. I couldn't go back to being that evil woman who ruined your life, the one who forced you through her deranged mind. I didn't want it to come back, but I couldn't stop it.

“Maledizione!” I shouted, releasing all my anger in a punch that hit the mirror of the old dresser. Blood flowed from my hand. The pain was intense, but not compared to the damage to my delicate, sensitive, sick heart...

How to deal with the love I felt for you, and for my daughter? How to handle those horrible feelings that haunted me? I loved Giovanna. I loved her more than my own life, even if she didn't feel the same way.

Jealousy, possessiveness, yes, there was no longer any doubt, it was my fault. Giovanna was born for that reason. She came into the world because of my pathetic and crazy obsession with keeping you by my side. Just as it happened with me, it happened with her. My desire not to lose you, to keep you close to me had passed to Giovanna, turning her into my reflection, into an adorable version of the monster that I considered myself to be.

The situation was getting out of control. I should never have been a mother, I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve to have you by my side. Your words, the love you said you felt for me were no longer enough.

That was my punishment for keeping you. That was my punishment for all the harm I did to you, creating something wonderful, a beautiful daughter, only for me to be nothing to her, just a nuisance, a threat that stood between her mother and her.

I looked at the blood that flowed from my knuckles, that blood that reminded me that I was still a human being. I shook my head, I buried it in my arms and there, in the solitude of my room, far from my family, far from the most important things in the world for me, I cried inconsolably.

“Quando ci vuole, ci vuole, mm?” I repeated that phrase looking at myself in the broken mirror, demanding a bit of fortitude from myself, gaining enough strength to get up and return to your side.

No matter how hard the path was, my duty was to walk along it. That was my penance.

“You shouldn't treat mommy that way, honey... She loves you very much.” Your voice caught my attention, making me hide before revealing myself again.

“She doesn't love me, she just wants to take me away from you,” the girl said, sobbing. That made me squirm again, but I managed to stay calm.

“No, that's not true, darling. Donna would do anything for you, for us… Remember how she made you Mrs. Freckles? She's your favorite doll, right?” you asked, giving Giovanna that doll, one that I made her when she was three years old, when she didn't hate me.

“Yes...” Giovanna said, hugging the doll tightly. That was the closest I'd come to her to give me some love the last two years. I cried again thinking about it.

“Besides, you don't remember but... Thanks to your mom, you're healthy and strong now, I'm sure you didn't know that,” you commented, with a soft voice, cradling the girl, calming her tantrum.

Giovanna shook her head, curious.

“I don't remember,” she said, with her hand on her mouth, in an adorable way. Well, at least it made me smile.

“Of course not, you had just been born and I... Well, I got very, very sick... I couldn't take care of you, but do you know who did?” you asked, with a voice similar to the one you used when you told her a story.

 The girl shook her head.

“Donna, your mommy, she took care of you until I got well again. She fed you, changed your diaper, sang lullabies to you to make you fall asleep...” You explained, making the knot in my stomach grow stronger. I didn't want to remember those two weeks, I didn't want to.

“Mamma Donna?” the girl asked, lowering her gaze.

“Yes, honey, she was very kind to you, you should be a good girl and return her favor, don't you think?” you said, with a softer voice.

The girl seemed to think about it, but finally, just as I suspected, she shook her head.

“Go to play with Angie, okay?” you said when you looked at me out of the corner of your eye, when you realized my presence. “Then we could take a walk in the forest, would you like to?”

“Yes, yes, a walk!” Giovanna said, excited about the idea, running around the room, passing by me without even looking at me.

“Donna, darling,” you sighed, walking slowly towards me, looking down at my wound, still bleeding. “Oh, my love… Have you hurt yourself again?”

I nodded, trying not to look at her, feeling ashamed, feeling that I was the monster you seemed to fall in love with once again.

“Gods, what have you done? Come, let's heal you,” you sighed, with that look you had when my mind went crazy, something that hadn't happened for too long.

Slowly, with a sad look, you bandaged my wound, not wanting to say anything, looking at me from time to time, with pity, thinking you had lost me again.

“Giovanna said I wasn't her mother,” I murmured while you worked on my wound. You looked at me, sighing, closing the bandage around my hand, holding it in yours.

“Don't pay attention to her, she's a little girl. You know that children say a lot of nonsense,” you commented, lifting my chin so you could see my face damaged by crying.

“It's not nonsense,” I said, furious again.

"Of course it is. Giovanna loves you, even if she doesn't tell you, I know,” you said in a soft tone, trying to convince me to abandon that shameful jealousy, that lack of your love that girl was forcing me to feel.

“You think so?” I said, turning around, looking on the coffee table for one of the many drawings my daughter made and showing it to you superbly. “Where am I here?”

“Oh, well...” you said, taking the sheet of paper, looking at the figures of Giovanna, Angie and you. “Oh, look, here you are,” you said smiling, pointing to a small black figure in the corner of the paper. I raised my eyebrows.

“There are lint in this house bigger than that black stain,” I said ironically, becoming defensive again.

“That black stain is you,” you joked, nudging me. I looked at you with a burning gaze, making you step back.

“Exactly, I'm just a black stain in our daughter's life, and in your life,” I murmured, looking away.

“No, that's not true, you know I love you very much Donna. You know that I...” you said, almost begging for me to listen to you, too late.

“I have to work on my dolls,” I said, getting up from the couch, rubbing the bandaged wound on my hand. “Thank you for healing me.”

“Donna, honey, wait...”

Nothing you said could be enough to calm the tide of my dark thoughts.

Just a black stain, a monster that wanted to separate my daughter from her mother, that was me in that family, nothing else.

“We'll be back before it gets dark,” you said, kissing me on the cheek as you said goodbye, heading out the door. “Come on, Gio, give mommy a kiss,” you ordered the girl, who was tugging impatiently at your dress.

“I don't want to,” the girl murmured, taking refuge between your legs. “Come on, mom, come on.”

You looked at me, apologizing for her, I shook my head. Not even Angie stayed with me.

With nothing better to do, I leaned on the porch railing, watching you walk away, letting my mind think that this might be the last time I saw you. In my hands, I held the black veil with which I used to cover my face, imagining a fleeting hope that would allow me to go with you.

I'm just stupid, like my daughter said. I didn't deserve the fantastic family I had. I never did it, it was all my fault.

“Look, Donna, what a kick... It's incredible...”

“Do you think we should paint the room? It's a bit dull for a girl, or a boy...”

“I want to see what it's like...”

As I looked somewhere I didn't notice, I remembered those moments, those horrible moments of your pregnancy, horrible, yes, but also tender, adorable. I was to blame for your suffering and your smiles. The harm that little Giovanna did to you was the first of my punishments.

I sighed, letting a tear fall onto the wooden floor, shaking my head, denying myself the truth of a terrible thought. You would be much better off without me.

“Donna, Donna!” A shrill voice derived that horrible thought from my head. My Angie doll appeared from the trees, clumsily running towards me.

“Angie? What's going on?” I asked, shaking my head as I ran to pick up the puppet, who was panting comically from that impromptu run.

“(Y/N), (Y/N) and Gio are in trouble, you have to help them, quickly!” the doll shouted, pulling the fabric of my dress. I, scared by that phrase, calmed the puppet by shaking it so it would stop babbling.

“What? In trouble?” I asked scared, with my body trembling with fear.

“Some bad men have trapped them in the forest, you have to do something, run, run!”

Frightened by that revelation, I put the black veil over my face, lowering the doll to the ground. My gaze darkened.

Nobody touches my family.

“Okay, take me there, Angie,” I whispered.

The doll nodded and led me by the hand into the depths of the forest.

“Do you want to stay still, you damn brat?” A deep voice reached my ears. This horrible vision appeared behind some bushes.

Two men, probably from the village, were holding my daughter, holding you in the same way while you kicked, trying unsuccessfully to get out of their grasp.

“Ah! Damn! She has bitten me!” The fatter one yelled, protesting against Giovanna's surprising attack against his hand.

“Let my mom go, you silly! Let her go!” the girl shouted, now in the arms of that evil man.

“Damn child!” the other man shouted, trying to keep you still.

“Gio!” you screamed, watching how the girl kicked tirelessly. My whole body burned with rage. “Let her go, you asshole, she's a child!”

“I will if you give me what I want, young lady,” the bandit murmured.

“I already told you that we don't have money!” you screamed again, growling, fighting with the hands that went to your neck.

“I think so, look at that girl's doll, it must be worth a lot of lei...”

“No, Mrs. Freckles!” Giovanna yelled, when that vermin snatched her doll.

“You're screwing up quite well... You don't know where you've gotten yourself,” you growled, your eyes burning with helplessness.

I couldn't take it anymore.

“Mamma!”  Giovanna  said when I, with a calm, threatening step, appeared from the shadows.

“Ah!” the fat man shouted, receiving a well-deserved kick in the crotch from my daughter, something that made me smile.

“Damn... What the hell...?” the man murmured, now moaning in pain, while I picked up my frightened daughter in my arms.

“Oliver, look who she is...” the man holding you said, pointing at me, who was trying to comfort the little girl's crying.

“Oh, shit...” the fat man sighed, eyes wide open, kneeling in the snow. “Lady Beneviento…”

I didn't say anything, I just sighed, cradling my daughter who, for once, clung to me disconsolately.

“Donna,” you whispered, with a triumphant smile.

“Greg, I think you should let the girl go,” the kneeling man said. His friend, unfortunately for him, didn’t seem to pay attention to him.

“Are you stupid? She can't hurt us, she's just a nutcase,” his partner said, with a crazy look, putting a knife to your neck. “Don’t, don't move or the girl dies.”

“Greg, no...” the fat man said, pulling on his partner's clothes.

“Are you a coward or what's wrong with you?” this Greg guy snapped, smiling in a horrible way, holding the sharp blade to your delicate neck. “One, one step back, you doll psychopath…”

Of course, I didn't obey.

“Don't insult her, dude... Don’t do it...” his partner lamented, closing his eyes and bowing his head.

“Get up, now we have the control. She won't do anything if she doesn't want the girl to get hurt,” that stupid man said, making me laugh. “Give us everything you have if you don't want us hurt her. I will do it, I swear...”

“No, you won't,” I whispered, extending my free hand toward them.

“Ah! Snakes!” the fat man shouted, rolling on the ground. “They are everywhere!”

The girl looked at me smiling curiously, just like you, who was no longer trembling.

“What do you say, Giovanna? What do you think can scare that stupid guy so much?” I asked amused, looking into the scared eyes of the man who was still holding you.

“Mmm,” the girl murmured, changing terror for amusement. “Coccodrilli!”

“I like it,” I said with a dark look, walking towards that man who was threatening you. His eyes changed to ones of terror, especially since his partner continued to struggle with his hallucinations.

“No, no, wait, wait,” he said, letting you go and putting his hands up. “It, it was a misunderstanding, I... Ah! It has torn off my arm!” He said horrified, when he finally succumbed to my powers.

You ran to my side, into my arms, with a smile of relief, the three of us watching that pitiful spectacle together.

“They’re everywhere!”

“It ripped off my leg! Help!”

I approached them slowly, putting a hand on your shoulder, holding little Giovanna in my arms.

“The next time you mess with my family I won't be pious,” I threatened, giving as much fear as I could, being that monster I hated so much being, to protect my family.

“That’s right!” the girl said “Fools!”

The rats fled at last, leaving a small moment of tension behind them.

“Gods, Donna, you showed up,” you whispered, removing the black cloth from my face, kissing me quickly and then our daughter. “Gio, are you okay?”

“Mrs. Freckles!” the girl screamed. I lowered her to the ground so she could run towards her doll, now with a broken arm.

“Don't worry, honey, Donna will fix it,” you said, you now being the one holding the girl, as expected. “Come on, let's go home…”

The way back was silent. Your hand in mine expressed gratitude, love, what I didn't think you felt for me. Even Giovanna's distrustful look seemed to change, looking at me embarrassedly over your shoulder, as if she were sad, or sorry for something.

The next day the routine continued, but not before talking at length about that incident. Miraculously, Giovanna didn’t seem to have nightmares that night and, surprisingly, according to you, excited by my bravery, you allowed me to make love to you, for the first time in many months.

That small release seemed to mark the beginning of a new stage, or maybe it was just that the girl was too sleepy to want to annoy me. I didn't know.

Like every day, I worked on my dolls, well, that time, on poor Mrs. Freckles, repairing her arm in silence, with the only sound of the workshop clock keeping me company.

A tug on my dress distracted me. I hadn't heard her, but my daughter had entered the workshop like a silent breeze. I assumed she wanted to check the state of Mrs. Freckles' injury.

“Mamma...” she murmured, with her head bowed. I sighed, smiling, pretending that I had no hard feelings, pretending I didn't care about her attitude toward me.

“What do you want, tesoro? She's almost fixed,” I murmured, looking at the doll again. The girl tugged at my dress again, now catching my attention.

Giovanna didn't say anything. She just moved her hands up, opening and closing her fists with a sad look, asking, surprisingly, to be held in my arms.

I, without hesitation, obeyed her silent request, sitting her on my lap while I fixed her favorite doll.

“Will she recover?” she asked, observing my work. I smiled sincerely, nodding.

“Of course,” I said, amused. “Mrs. Freckles is very brave, don't you think?”

Giovanna nodded profusely, with a hand on her mouth, a hand that I slowly withdrew, so I could see the precious daughter I conceived.

“You are also very brave,” she murmured, as if something was stopping her from saying that. I stopped sewing, looking at my daughter's sincere expression. “You saved us.”

“I only did what I had to do, tesoro, protect my family,” I said with a slightly serious tone, accommodating the girl in a more comfortable position.

“I have a gift for you...” Giovanna whispered, taking one of her little hands to the pocket of her dress and taking out a sheet of paper.

I picked it up slowly, frowning when I saw one of Giovanna's drawings. Mysteriously, I seemed to be the protagonist.

“Look, mamma, it's you, see?” she explained, pointing to my dark figure in the  middle of the drawing, rising triumphantly over two evil bandits. “Look, that's mom and me, smiling because you saved us.”

“Giovanna, it's... Amazing...” I sighed, trying not to get too excited, looking over and over again at the surprising details of that drawing.

“You will always protect us, right?” she asked with a low voice, as if she was also about to cry.

“Of course, tesoro,” I said, wiping away a tear that finally ran down her cheek. “Mom and you are the most important things in my life.”

“And will we always be?” the girl asked, a little more worried.

“Always, my love,” I said, with a smile.

“Won't you let them hurt mom?” she asked again.

 I shook my head.

“Never,” I said, with a more serious tone. Giovanna smiled and, with an unexpected gesture, jumped into my arms, hugging me tightly, with an affection that I could never imagine or deserve.

“I love you so much, mamma...” she whispered with a tender voice, finally making me emotional.

“I love you too, my beautiful girl...”

[zestydistress]

MARBLE HORNETS TIM WRIGHT HEADCANONS

-Had to learn how to do basic things from his friends ever since he got to college. i.e. tying his shoes(the mental hospital definitely took away his shoelaces and he eventually forgot how to do it), swimming(makes entry #65 worse mentally and physically), doing laundry(bro got admitted when he was like 7 and was confined into his room for almost the entire time, he was not learning how to do laundry), sewing(no sharp objects in the ward), cooking(can't be in the kitchen as the nurses worried about the children hurting themselve), etc.

-Has a deep-rooted fear of drowning.(I like to think that ever since he was a kid he was experiencing those time warp torture sessions from the operator where he'd end up submerged underwater for unknown amounts of time)

-Fantastic at navigating. He can navigate the entirety of Rosswood forest. He can navigate any forest. I like to think that he led the guys to places in rosswood during the student film days since he was the only one to navigate the forest to get to film sites(and to get back to the parking lot)

-Has big issues with food textures, cannot stand mushy food.

-Is so sensitive when it comes to spices, bro cannot even handle a bell pepper./hj

-Cannot drink alcohol when on his medicine, was the designated driver every time he went out with friends.

-has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep, but no one really noticed as he just lays completely still on his back with his arms pressed against his side and eyes closed until he drifts off. When he's asleep he'll move around a lot. He's a flailer. He will scream in his sleep too. Also talks in his sleep a lot and sleep walks.

-Disassociates frequently and often.

-When off his meds he cries when watching Disney movies

-Used to absolutely despise his meds because they made him feel so numb. He knew he was supposed to feel more than that and it made him even more reactive when off of them. Eventually he just grew to forget what it felt like to be off of them, he can't remember what it felt like when he could fully process emotions other than the comfortably numbed ones. He'd still get aggressive, happy, sad, etc. but he could only feel them strongly when they were in the extremes. Any other time it was just dulled from what he usually felt.

-Ever since Marble Hornets ended he's been taking care of his mom.

-Loses stuff so easily it's insane. Mostly loses his keys though.

-Has a terrible fashion sense since he was never able to choose his own clothes. Usually goes for vibrant clothes at first since he never had the option to wear anything that colorful before(this is my reasoning behind that horrendous monkey shirt he wore LOL)

-Has a kinda weak immune system. He was sick so much when he was a kid. His immune system isn't as bad as it could have been. Considering he regularly ran away and disappeared into the forest or further. His immune system got stronger when in college though.

-Picked up smoking like a month after he got out of the hospital, one of his only friends in there was an old man with a smoking problem and would always ask the staff for a smoke which they denied. He also kept calling Tim by the name of his deceased son.

-Basing him off of Night Mind's interpretation of marble hornets. So Masky isn't another personality or anything, it's just Tim trying to get to the bottom of this like Jay is. Except he's using much more... Violent methods. And he loses his memory of when he chooses to become Masky, so ToTheArk and Hoodie help him remember what their goal is(stopping Alex).

(also group headcanons:

I don't like the names masky and hoodie but I do realize they're the most recognized names for them. I love the name Techy for ToTheArk to match the theme, but I prefer calling them:

Tim = The Source

Brian = The Advocate

Jay = The Messenger

Alex = The Instigator

ToTheArk = The Projectionist

I have yet to come up with good ones for Jessica, Amy and Sarah. I have also yet to read the comics)

[sufferu]

Okay. So, I know at this point you’re probably tired of people trying to argue over the camps’ decisions in No Refunds, but I have Thoughts and want to speak them so here’s my two cents anyway, regarding problems with the decision to force Subaru to renounce his knighthood:

Problem 1: He’s got no real choice in Return By Death. He’s stuck in a horrid situation, and he’s trying to salvage whatever good he can from it. Given the crazy stuff that continuously happens to him and the people around him, he’s gonna die, that’s just a fact. He’s managed to get past the Greed IF mindset of abusing this deliberately (mostly), but it’s still pretty much inevitable that he’s going to end up with information that he couldn’t get any other way.

Problem 2: He wants to help, more than anything. Yes, to some extent this is a problem, but at the same time these people are his friends and he genuinely loves them. Forcing him into a padded cell to prevent him from helping them is… pretty horrid. Congratulations, you’ve ensured that a whole lot of people are gonna die horribly, and all it cost was torturing Subaru in a way more profound to him than the actual deaths he’s suffered and probably also still killing him.

This is a problem with no good solutions, I’ll admit. That’s kinda how Re:Zero rolls. But to me, the least horrible solution would be to arm him as effectively as possible. Training, magic, and so on in an attempt to minimize the number of deaths he suffers. He’ll still be in harm’s way, but the point of the whole above rant is that he’ll always be in harm’s way.

Absolutely none of this should be taken as a statement that I actively dislike either fic in the series. I think that the characters in No Refunds would respond as they do, and that it’s very well-done all around. And, of course, Dogshow has easily shot well past WHDAAA as best react fic due to the characters’ more realistic reactions being more removed from just watching a show, the explicit removal of the harem elements (ugh), and the lack of the “that makes me feel angry” narration that plagues WHDAAA. Good stuff all around, I eagerly await more.

I feel like I can’t really argue for or against this sort of thing properly because like. That’s the fic’s job? Explaining the entirety of what I’m about to do or why I’m about to do it would be a legitimate betrayal of my writing. I know I’m a bit of a blabbermouth on this blog but like, there are SOME limits, lol. Especially when it’s the main conflict of the story.

But I will say: it does kind of confuse me that so many people seem to have interpreted them deciding to revoke his knighthood with them locking him in a padded cell. Because — honestly, all they’re really saying is “You can’t have THAT career. You can go and do LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE: you just can’t do THAT.” Hell, a big reason why Wilhelm did That in that one ficlet was to preserve Subaru’s freedom to choose whatever other career he might want to the best of his ability, and Crusch’s whole thought process about what “suicide watch” would actually entail in No Refunds ended with her going “Alright. Wilhelm, how would you like a new grandson? :D” I don’t really want to spoil how all this shakes out or anything but — just from what I’ve written so far, I find it kind of odd that so many people seem to have genuinely taken away the idea that they want to actually stick him in a jail cell or something, lol

And I’m very glad you’re enjoying both of those fics! My main concern above basically anything else is making sure that the characters remain in-character and the conflict naturally stems from their actual thoughts about the whole situation, and I’m glad that I seem to be doing it well so far, lol. Hope you continue to enjoy them both!

[crushedsweets]

hi! idk if you explained this already, but what/who are zalgoids in your au? Or rather how did they become zalgoids? sorry if that didn’t make sense lol, btw love your art!! <3

hi! so, IN MY AU, zalgoids are anything infected by zalgo. To get infected, you either need to die/on your last breath, and zalgo chooses to infect you. OR you need to be bitten by lazari when she's in her zalgoid form.

all zalgoids are stuck in the slender forest so long as the proxies keep the pages around. the 'ink' on those pages is slendy's inky vomit, which is gross BUT it physically traps zalgoids. sometimes there are 'containment breaches' when people mess with the pages, WHICH IS WHYYY the proxies/slendy get so heated about the pages.

zalgo usually takes eyes as a form of 'payment' for reanimation. he has an obsession with "having eyes everywhere" and his own body is littered with them.

all of his attempts at reanimating humans failed. he's only managed to properly control animals in the forest - so there are several zalgoid wolves, coyotes, bears, even rats littered about.

zalgo usually takes the form of a wolf or a goat, cuz his demon form is easy to spot n takes a lot of energy.

i'll talk about the individual zalgoids underneath the cut! lulu, ann, jack, dina, and lazari!

lulu died of hypothermia in the forest. a hazing ritual from the sorority she was joining made her jump into the freezing lake and while walking back, she collapsed. the group dug her a shallow grave and ran off. zalgo 'reanimated' her at the cost of her eyes , but lulu is REALLY weak, lethargic, and still thinks shes going back to her dorm

ann used to be a redroom 'dominatrix nurse' who tortured victims for money. one of her 'fans' found her location, dragged her to the abandoned hospital, and dismembered her on camera. during a patrol, kate stumbled on the scene and killed the man. meanwhile, zalgo infected anns corpse - this time, taking only one eye and fucking with the other. but anns also useless because she thinks shes always on camera and the hospital is a labyrinth for her.

while jack was being sacrificed to the cult, they were using slendy's goop on him in the forest. so when he lost his eyes, was force fed meat, and losing consciousness cuz he couldnt breath, zalgo tried to infect him early. since he was still alive during it, it messed up the whole infection process + the slendy goop in his eyes made it painful for zalgo. jack is TECHNICALLY a zalgoid, but zalgo has no control over him + he had no eyes to take...

dina became a zalgoid when lazari bit her. they grew up in the same cult, dina was the center of it - and while sneaking out, lazari was sick and attacked her. dina then dragged lazari to the forest to kill her (as the 'divine judge angels' she believed she had the right to kill anyone she judged unworthy). but... lazari tore out dinas throat..... so when zalgo infected dina's body, she quickly became a strong zalgoid! she's actually useful, actually wants to kill the proxies, actually wants to escape - but most of her hate is directed towards lazari, and zalgo wants lazari alive

and of course, lazari is a zalgoid. when her mother was in the cult, she was infertile - which basically made her a cult failure. she was deemed a useless woman for not bringing children into the world. so she prayed to anything - including demonic forces - and zalgo preyed on her when she did a ritual in the forest. so lazari is born!

the zalgoid strengths go: lulu -> ann -> dina -> jack -> lazari

but lazari is the easiest to appeal to, and the proxies + jack already did, so she's mostly harmless! good ally to have (when not hungry)

[banquetwriter]

Please do a part 2 to the Johnnie fix u just posted !

୨୧ Cinnamon pt:2 ୨୧

pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡

summary: ʚ A part two to cinnamon ɞ

Words: 1034

An: this was in reference to: cinnamon go check it out since this is part two! This turned out so bad I'm so sorry. I never wanted to make a part two to this so I'm a lil upset lol

SUPPORT ME

It was the day after the party, you weren't too hungover by any means, just a little sick feeling in the morning but that had passed hours ago. You had also left the party early deciding it wasn't fair to torture yourself with Johnnie all night long.

You were taking a slow sip of your drink and scrolling around Pinterest when an Instagram DM from Johnnie popped up on your phone. Your eyebrow shot up tapping the notification.

J: ‘Hey, you left that party quickly last night. Sure you're doing ok?’

You smiled briefly at his message. You set your drink down while sitting up to reply.

‘Haha yeah I’m all good just got a little overwhelmed that's all :)’

You sent your message and decided to put your phone down. You didn't want to wait around for his reply, that was only going to cause you to get even more attached to someone who didn't like you. You turned the TV on and put on one of your favorite shows.

You say most of an episode is for caving and checking for a text back. Sure enough, that was a notification from the world's favorite emo boy. You tap on it unlocking your phone.

J: ‘oh ok. I'm always here if you need to talk or anything like that. Can I ask what made you so overwhelmed?’ he asked. You felt that familiar heartbeat increase as you re-read his message over and over again.

‘It was just someone I didn't wanna be around for that long. It wasn't in a bad way, I just needed a break from someone.’ you replied. You Weren't sure why you couldn't just lie to him but you couldn't.

You hoped he would take your words and leave you be, but as fate would have it… he doesn't. J: ‘Was it me?’ he asks. You're not sure how to respond, you suppose it would be time to talk this out as the opportunity presented itself.

‘We can talk sometime in person, ok? Are you free at all this week?’ you sent back, anxiety creeping its way through your whole body in waves. This wasn't right. We shouldn't meet.

Was there a possibility that Johnnie actually liked you? No. Right? You Weren't sure at this point. People who like someone check in on them. Maybe he DID like you just not how you want him to.

Your heart nearly exploded when you heard another text go through. J: ‘Im free today’ your heart was pounding so fast. Would you even have the courage to meet today in the first place.

It's better to get the bandage ripped off sooner than later. ‘Works for me lets get dinner?’ you sent the message feeling like you were going to vomit. You wanted to get all ready for him, look your best.

But you knew you shouldn't do that. He needed this from you at your most true self. Sweatpants and all. He agreed and you both arranged plans to meet in only four hours.

Four hours is a lot of time to wait for something but it felt even longer as you checked the clock every five minutes to see if it was time or not. But after all your waiting it was finally time to leave.

You pulled up to this place and Johnnie was already standing outside. You both shuffle around each other awkwardly for a moment before you tell him to sit down. You choose a spot outside and sit down.

The wind blows on both of you as it chills you to the bone. “So I did leave because of you but, that sounds so scary and mean.” you start. He just stared at you for a moment “ok.” was all he said, his voice wavering.

“It's because I really like you. And I know this sounds immature and silly but when you didn't talk to me at the party I felt so alone. I thought you might have liked me too and I don't know. I just needed to leave after you gave me water.” you confessed to him.

It all felt so silly now. Leaving a party because a boy didn't like you. He doesn't say anything and again your instinct is to just run, as fast and as far as you can. Johnnie doesn't let that happen this time.

As soon as you stand up his arm reaches out for you. You stop at his contact. “Y/n I definitely like you, don't worry,” he said as you slowly sat back down. You hold his eyes before eventually feeling the feeling of shame creep back in.

“Sorry,” you mumble slowly. “I thought you left because I made you uncomfortable or something,” he said, the wind blowing again. Your heart was soaring at his words. “No, I was just high and overwhelmed,” you said looking down at his hand that was still holding your arm.

“Oh right. Well, I definitely like you, I don't talk to people I don't like this much,” he said, causing both of you to giggle slightly. “I'm sorry for the way I reacted. I just got so scared,” you said through a pitiful laugh.

“It's ok we all get scared of something. I just can't ever imagine someone like you liking someone like me,” he said rubbing the back of his neck. “What do you mean? You're so fucking funny and nice Johnnie of course I like you,” you say with a smile.

“Thanks but I don't believe you. It's just that you're so funny, smart, and… pretty. I don't know how I can compare.” he said looking down. “Johnnie, that's how I feel about you,” you said leaning towards him.

“We should hang out sometime,” he said, unfortunately removing his hand from your arm to fix his hair. “We’re hanging out right now,” you said, tilting your head slightly. “No, I mean like on a date?” he says looking up at you through his hair. “You wanna take me on a date?” you whisper leaning further towards him.

“Y-yes we should go on a date,” he said again, adjusting his hair. “Ok let's go on a date then.”

“OK?”

“Ok.”

[mitsuki91]

Characters analysis about Coriolanus Snow and Lucy Gray Baird.

(This is copy-pasted from a chat so forgive me if it's kind of messy).

Premise: Lucy is well aware of where the weapons are and makes Coryo find them on purpose.

Analysis: In my opinion Lucy recognises that Coryo still wears a mask in front of the world. She frames it immediately because she, in her own way, does too. She loves him, because she has seriously fallen in love with him (trauma bonding lol), but she also knows deep down that Coryo will always want to go back to the capital and make a political career, because it's the only way he can feel in control (and in a way she even understands this). She is worried that he will force her to follow him and put her in a cage and she is torn anyway because she loves him and would like to be with him but does not want to become a canary in a gilded cage... So she is slowly trying to make him understand that there is an alternative, that Capitol City and politics are not everything, that there is a life beyond power and beyond hunger. Only it all comes crashing down in 0.2 seconds. Coryo shoots the mayor's daughter and Lucy thus has 1) confirmation that Coryo would do anything for her anyway 2) sees how his paranoia starts, especially when Sejanus is hanged. She knows, because she knows him, that he sold him out to try to save his own skin. But she also knows that he is terrified and see himself already dead. She would like to reassure him and tell him about the weapons etc. but she knows that it is only prolonging the agony, because if Coryo could feel 'free' and return to the capital he would, and she is not up for it. So she finds a way to make him find the weapons - she first has confirmation that, even at the moment when Coryo loses everything, he still chooses her, because he loves her - and she watches him to see what he intends to do, but as she suspects he is not yet ready. She sees, in his eyes, that for him that discovery means 'freedom', a freedom greater than the truly free life he could have had with her. So she decides to take the first step and stop him from really choosing.... Because Coryo might choose her in that moment, but in one, two, five years etc. it would blow up in her face (between recriminations and various things because, basically, they want two different things out of life). Their love is not enough, Lucy knows that. So she does not give him the power to torture himself into a slow descent and chooses for him, leaving him. And he goes mad because he loses control, possession, over what he considered to be his by right because of the love he feels (his view of love and life: he sees possession as the highest form of love, because he grew up in a world where he had nothing and now only values the things he possesses).

Basically Lucy Gray values her freedom above love and Coryo values power/wealth/control above love.

Love exists between them, it is true.... But they have two different visions of life.

They have both betrayed each other in the worst way for each other.

Trust and loyalty.

But it wasn't a selfish spite, at least not on Lucy Gray's part.

He was still in full paranoia about the trust issue so he wasn't clear-headed, but she wasn't loyal thinking she was doing him a favour in the end by leaving him 'free'.

In the end, they 'gave' each other the most important thing they consider to themself: Coryo was giving her himself - "I am yours, Lucy, and I will follow you to the ends of the word" - i.e. possession. She gave him freedom instead.

[acerathia]

pink camellias || Chapter 9: red chrysanthemum

Chapter Summary:

red chrysanthemum: i love you

Wordcount: 4.5k

Read on AO3 || Masterlist

Pairing:

Bakugou Katsuki / Reader

Tags/CW:

royalty au, inspired by Mulan, war and its consequences, violence, childhood friends to strangers to companions to lovers (i am sorry), Angst, Acts of Service, Character Death (Major, and Minor), swordfights, misogyny, f!reader, kidnapping, implied torture, let me know if I missed anything lol

Note:

honestly, let's get it over with LMAO, might post a lil bonus someday tho

Nothing was working out. You almost cursed, but you retained some sort of dignity and remained silent. The only thing leaving your mouth was a sigh, indicating your suffering. And immediately you got scolded for moving.

You pinched your face at that. Because you understood that they were taking your measurements, but were you truly not allowed to breathe? Especially if these were going to be your future dresses? You wished you still could wear your older ones.

But alas, your older dresses were outfashioned now, and pretty revealing. And not only that, but you also could not afford to arrive at the victory party littered with scars. You had them, but it would be a disgrace to reveal them like that. So, there you were, standing as still as possible for the seamstress to take your measurements to make you a proper dress for the upcoming ball.

Time already slipped between your fingers and you had no idea how long you had been standing there, but even after you were allowed to move, you couldn’t indulge and throw yourself onto your bed, at least you could sit down.

The seamstress showed you some of her designs and fabrics, and you choose a couple fitting for every possible situation you might happen to be in. And if there was a certain shade of deep red you had chosen, then it was simply because it was in fashion.

After making all these decisions, she handed you an already finished dress, because you had been summoned to the palace today. And despite your house arrest, nobody could refuse such a summon, so your father had to let you go.

The seamstress left, promising you your dresses in time for the ball. The moment the door closed, the maids swarmed around the dress, admiring it and its cut and color. And it didn’t take long until you felt their gaze upon you, and you shivered in premonition.

Still, they were good at prettying you up, so once again, you were left at their skilled hands. First, you slipped the bodice on, before the corset. You always hated getting it tied, but you didn’t complain when a maid pulled at the strings. After that were the numerous petticoats layered on top. And lastly, the adorned but simple dress.

The dress closed around your throat and had longer sleeves. Your hands were covered by elegant gloves. After everything sat right, the handmaids began to take care of your face and hair, making you fit for the occasion.

In the end, they handed you a parasol in the same shade as your dress. Still, you couldn’t help but look into the mirror before you left the room, making sure that none of your scars were visible. And you were glad that your face had remained untouched by any marring.

The way in the carriage between the mansion and the palace was smooth and didn’t take long. Soon you were leaving the palace gates behind you and a knight opened the door for you. The face you saw was rather unexpected, so you took a moment to take his hand to exit the carriage.

“Hello, lady knight,” Denki grinned, donned with the armor of the palace guards. Immediately he paled slightly as if someone gestured for him to not be rude. “I mean, greetings my lady.”

You grinned slightly at this. “Hello Sir Denki. I see you have climbed the ranks.”

“Uh, yeah! They were very pleased with my service, there’s no other reason of course.”

You patted his shoulder. “Sure, you were great. Now, I have to leave. Have fun with your new occupation.”

You then entered the palace where a maid greeted you and showed you the way to the garden, where the queen was waiting for you. Still, you took some time to look around the halls, at the art hanging on the walls and the carefully carved statues. And from time to time a memory of your childhood could be glimpsed inside your mind. The taste of these bittersweet. Especially with the current date.

You averted your gaze towards the ground, feeling a faint ache in your chest. And you wondered how long it would take for it to go away. Did you even wanted it gone? Now that you barely remembered her face?

Something caught in the corner of your eyes, and some reflex prompted you to turn slightly towards it. But once you looked, it was already gone. How silly of you, to think you had seen him again, in this very palace.

With a shake of your head, you entered the garden and greeted the queen with a curtsy. She returned the greeting with a chuckle and invited you to sit in front of her. Once you did, she took your hand in hers.

“How are you, darling? It has been some time since you had visited me last,” she asked, her gaze wandering over your face.

You squeezed her hand with your fingers. “I’ve been well, Your Majesty. I hope you didn’t get too bored in my absence,” you smiled cheekily.

Another chuckle. “Well, what can you do, I’ve been doing my duties. Only if my son would visit me also. But alas, he has been busy with the war.”

You nodded a bit absentmindedly, as you tried to remember if you had encountered any prince on the battlefield or at the base. But as much as you tried, you couldn’t, the only memory resurfacing was the way blood had felt between your fingers.

A shaky exhale and you turned your attention back to the queen. To the slightly rowdy hair underneath the crown. Yet, she looked majestic. You supposed it made sense.

After that, you both continued with light talk, as the reason you both were there in the first place didn’t have to be talked about. Even if you glanced at the flowers around you, remembering that these were her favorite. The ones she could never enjoy, unless someone put them on top of stone.

At their sight, you just stopped the conversation, unable to keep talking without any silent sobs escaping your lips. While you tried to stop your low hiccuping, she put a hand over yours once again, comforting you with her presence. She, too, was grieving in her own way. So, you both silently lamented the ones who had been taken from you too soon, leaving you without a mother, and without a best friend, a confidante of the heart lost.

This situation never changed, every year you joined her for tea until one's emotion finally broke through, leading to the memories falling from your lips, and hers. And you loved to listen about the youth of your mouth, something you could have never heard otherwise, something to connect you to her once again.

That was, until someone barged into the garden, words immediately directed at the queen in front of you in such a rude manner, you couldn’t help but gasp in surprise. Yet, she remained calm, so it seemed like that was something she had to deal with regularly.

Following the shouts you looked over, only to stop in your tracks. The sun was covering his golden hair and his eyes were focused on the woman sitting in front of you, not a glance in your direction. This time, his clothes were clean, a cape fluttering behind him. And for a moment you frowned at its color, orange, like the sunset, like peaches, like a warm bonfire, and like the royal family. Why hadn’t you noticed that earlier?

Your eyes glanced at the queen, and you suddenly noticed how eerily similar they look. The realization punched you in the gut, yet you refrained from saying anything, especially as he continued to give his mother an angry rant.

A sigh from her and she began to berate him in the exact same tone he had given her. You didn’t quite understand what was going on, but you still felt like you were intruding into this moment between them and sunk a tiny bit lower into your chair.

“… Now, you’re being rude, Katsuki. And you didn’t even greet our guest.”

“The fuck you mean, our guest, I didn–”, he turned around to face you, only to stop, as several emotions swiped over his face, his mouth slightly agape.

You tensed your jaw as you stood up to curtsy in front of him. “Greetings to the future sun of the empire, the Crown Prince.”

His whole body seemed to tense at your words, but before he could say anything, you turned towards his mother, the queen.

“Excuse me, I think it is time for me to go home. It was wonderful here, thank you for this invitation.”

She waved her hand slightly. “No need to thank me, dear, I hope you come visit me again.”

With another curtsy towards them both, you left the garden, intending on going home. While you were walking down the halls, you thought that your reaction might have been a little rash, as you had never asked him about his life outside of the battlefield, hell, nobody had even the time to think about anything else.

Still, he had made your life a little bit more difficult than it had to be, all because of your status, only for him to be relishing in a greater privilege than you. Even after you both had started to find comfort in each other's presence, he didn’t even try to look for you or even send you a measly little letter. Now, maybe you should write him one, two words would be enough, but in consideration, insulting the royal family did result in death, as much as you wanted to tell him what you think.

A hand grabbed your wrist with its fingertips, careful as if you were about to break. You turned around and pulled your hand away. The moment you looked at his face, you were really tempted to not curtsy, but maybe doing one would unnerve him.

But the moment you grabbed your dress, he spoke up: “Don’t! I mean– Fuck. You don’t have to curtsy or do any of that noble stuff in front of me, at least not when it’s just us…”

You raised your eyebrows. “No? Well, then, fuck you, Captain Katsuki,” you intoned his name sharply.

He let out a breath, his shoulders minimally slumping. “Shit, I deserve that… Listen, ugh, fuck, I– uh, I wanted to talk to you, but not like this. This doesn’t feel right. I mean, it does, just, just I was, fuckin’ worried.”

“Worried? About what? Oh, is it because it would be too embarrassing to be seen with someone like me? A disgrace to every noble woman?” you scoffed.

“Fuck, no. Argh, listen, I didn’t want you to think differently… of me…”, he mumbled, avoiding your eyes as if in anger, but you could sense the anxiety radiating off of his posture. “You… You used to call me ‘Kacchan, and, and I wanted to show you a different, better side of me. As a knight, as someone who can actually protect you. Not that– that brat I once was…”

At this, you sighed, closing your eyes for a moment. Of course, you understood where he came from, it didn’t make it much better, though. Still, you ought to accept his reasoning.

“I understand. But it doesn’t make it okay. You’ve been targeting me in the camp, making everything much more exhausting than it had to be. And then we connected, somehow. I thought that maybe we could move on, be friends, or even… more… But instead of being honest to me, like I was from the first day on, you chose to wait, while I was thinking of a way to contact you. I understand you, I do, but the disappointment runs deeper,” you explained. “That means I cannot forgive you that easily. At least not today.”

With those words, you turned around and walked towards the exit. All while you heard him grumble, but not follow you. Once you sat in the carriage, a sigh escaped you. You felt worn out by this revelation and his reaction, your reaction. And you were aware that you were bound to meet him again, at the latest at the victory celebration. But at least you still trusted him enough to not issue any order regarding you.

And as much as you wanted to worry about the whole situation between you both, there was barely any time for you to even have free thoughts, as you were suddenly busy with managing part of the mansion and the preparation for the upcoming celebration. All while you still weren’t allowed to train, and only leave the house if accompanied by someone else.

The mere days until the victory celebration went like a breeze, and suddenly you stood in front of the mirror once again. This time not in a proper dress with tulle and beautiful stitches, but rather in pants and a fancy jacket with so many glittering buttons, a cape in the color of your house hanging over your shoulder gave the look the final touch. Your sword was hanging on your belt, visible for once, you realized as your gloved hand subconsciously gripped the handle of it.

Looking at your reflection, you saw a knight, something you had worked towards for many years of your life. Yet, you didn’t feel as accomplished as you thought you would, your fingers feeling sticky in a used sensation, your tongue coated with a taste of the living, barely hanging on.

You turned around, shaking your head slightly, trying to drive these ghosts of memories away. Taking a deep breath before you left your room and immediately went outside to the carriage that was supposed to bring you to the hall.

This time, you were alone in the carriage, the first time in a long time, as your maids couldn’t just accompany you to such a place, and your father intended to join the festivities a bit later.

For some reason, you did not look forward to it, but you didn’t have much of a choice, as once again, this was something organized by the crown, and you were inevitably one of the guests of honor.

Arriving at the hall, you let the butler at the entrance announce your entry to the festivities. There, you let your gaze sweep over the crowd for a moment, before you made your way to the buffet filled with finger food and drinks.

On the way, you greeted some people you were indirectly acquainted with, as they asked about the whereabouts of your father. You answered truthfully and chatted them up a bit, trying to ignore some of the glances towards you. You knew, it was because of your clothes, but you didn’t have much of a choice regarding that, considering that the royal family had sent these beforehand. Not that you’d want to wear something else in this situation. You fought and you deserved to be honored, as much as it seemed to bother these people. You continued to smile, aware that additionally to your honorable position as a swordmaster, you were also your father’s daughter, the heir to the title filled with power. They could not afford to demean or ridicule you.

With last goodbyes and promises to visit someday, you finally finished your walk to the table to grab a glass of juice. You took a sip of the cool liquid and let the taste drench your tongue. Looking around, you recognized some people you had fought side by side with, but you didn’t dare approach, aware of the difference in status, and the way it might affect their life, and yours. So, you changed position to stand close to a wall, observing everything and simply waiting for the highlight of the festivities, for it to be over and for it to be polite to leave.

At least the dancing hadn’t started yet, and before you could wonder why, the masses began to cheer. Looking towards the end of the hall at the heightened platform framed by two massive staircases you saw the royal family emerge. The queen started a speech, a flute in her hand to cheer after she was done. But you only listened with half an ear, as your gaze caught on the person beside her, not the king, smiling at his wife, pride clear in his face, but at the crown prince, Katsuki.

He was wearing a white jacket, its collars accented with black, yet the golden details complimented him much more. The color seemed to belong to him, the edges of his clothes set with it, the buttons and small chains glittering underneath the light. But there was nothing beating the cape, one in the same shade of his eyes, shifting into the orange of the royal family with every movement and light. You thought you even spotted a loosened red tie around his neck. The way he stood there, standing out in the warm lights of the chandelier, made him seem like from another world, despite the scowl itching his features. At his sight, your heart thumped against your ribs, and your free hand rubbed over it.

And then his eyes met yours, all explosions and blooming flowers, bursting inside of you, between you. Your brain told you to look away, but you couldn’t, being enchanted by him, by the way his eyes almost imperceptibly softened, the scowl melting into something closer to a smile.

He was the one to break the contact, his eyes shifting to his mother, and the twist of his mouth was back, even if his eyebrows seemed less pinched this time. You immediately lifted the cup to your face to drink and to hide your face, feeling heat creep up your neck.

For some reason you felt the need to change your position, so you began to wander deeper into the hall, occasionally bumping into someone you knew and having small catch-up conversations.

You stayed close to the walls, as the center of the hall began to fill with dancers and their partners, moving to the music in learned steps. And every time you were a moment alone, you watched them, your feet tickling you to join them. But as nobody asked you to dance, you couldn’t just jump into the fray.

Someone tapped your shoulder and you turned around, smiling and ready to begin the small talk once again. But then you met red, ruby red eyes and your heart stuttered, your movements stumbling slightly.

Before you could even attempt to collect the right words again, he spoke up, slightly bowing down with his hand reaching towards you.

“May I have this dance?” he asked, his voice serious, yet you noticed the slight edge in the corners of his mouth.

There was no way you could refuse him, for various reasons, like, he was the crown prince and nobody did refuse him unless there was a plausible reason, and maybe you did want to dance and talk with him. But that was something he didn’t know.

So, all you did was curtsy. “I would be honored, Your Royal Highness.” Straightening up, you put your palm in his.

His fingers carefully curled around yours before he dragged you through the splitting masses to the dance floor. You felt the heat of his skin even through your glove as you followed in his steps.

Once you both found a proper spot, he changed the grip around your hand slightly while his other hand found the dip in your waist. And you put your free hand on his shoulder.

The music began to play and you both started the memorized steps, each movement flowing into each other. He was the perfect partner, his steps fitting with yours like magic, the closeness between you diminishing with each step and ruffle.

You couldn’t help yourself but look up to him, only to see his eyes already on you, the usual furrows between them gone, a certain softness in his gaze, his features. You felt his breath on your cheek as he leaned a bit closer, on your neck.

“Let me make it up to you,” he murmured softly against the small space between his lips and your skin, and you were all too aware of it. His eyes boring themselves deep into yours, the red a dim yet a brilliant shade of red.

A sigh escaped you, feeling as if the tension suddenly had left your body, the one melting into his without any reluctancy. You wanted to respond, but words eluded you suddenly. Still, you tried, trying to distract yourself from the need to feel his lips cross the distance.

“Uhm. However you want to do that,” you answered in a hushed voice, ready to accept whatever he did.

A grin slowly spread over his lips, the exact same ones that were inching closer to your face. Your reflexes betrayed you as you involuntarily closed your eyes, your tongue darting to wet your lips nervously.

You didn’t know what you were expecting, but you felt the heat clump underneath your skin nonetheless the moment his lips touched your skin, the touch so light, almost like like hovering. He didn’t linger, even if you wanted him to.

Slowly, your eyes fluttered open, suddenly remembering where you both were, your body still moving in concentric circles. The heat intensified, and you barely could glance in his direction, even if you did notice the slight redness on the tip of his ears.

Soon, the dance was over, and you curtsied before him as he bowed, before you took longer strides than usual to get to the open balcony. The cool breeze outside met your flushed body and the differenc in temperature made it more real. You could still feel the lingering warmth of his lips against your skin and your thoughts slowly shifted into a almost ridiculous direction, picturing the way his lips would feel against your own, against another part of your skin. You felt your nape getting warmer and you began to fan with your hands.

You stepped closer to the railing, leaning with one hand against it as you looked into the horizon, trying your best to change your trail of thoughts. Barely noticing the presence now standing beside you. You didn’t think much of it, as people were allowed to this space.

Yet, despite the open space being empty, an arm brushed against yours, and you reflexively looked to your side. Only to once again gaze into his face, this time only highlighted by the soft shine of the moon. At this sight your thoughts wandered to the fairy tales of impossible beauty and charming elves.

There was something indescribable in his eyes as he let them wander over your features, over your clothes. He opened his mouth, no words escaping for a moment.

“I forgot to tell you… You look amazing this evening,” he finally rasped, his eyes immediately avoiding yours and looking to the glittering space in the sky.

And while you still felt hot, his words didn’t make it any better, but at least you knew him well enough to know that his ears would be hot to the touch.

Unconsciously, your fingers had moved towards him, brushing his warm cheek to carefully pinch at his hot earlobe. Once your fingertips touched his skin, you noticed it rising in temperature even more.

He looked down on you, his eyes darkened by the heavy lidded look, and leaned his hand softly against the palm of your hand. You brushed your thumb against his cheekbone, his lashes fluttering with each move.

You felt his breath against your wrist before he slowly shifted, his lips meeting your skin, his teeth grazing your palm.

Your breath caught, you had to say something, lest your heart explodes against your ribs.

“And… you look beautiful,” you rasped, still captured by the way the moonlight seemed to catch on his lashes, spinning them into tiny stars.

A chuckle came out of him, a small grin against your hand. “Beautiful?”, he asked with a rough whisper, his hand grabbing your wrist to pull your arm over his shoulder, inevitably pulling you closer to him.

You opened your mouth, not resisting him moving you, feeling his other hand slip onto your waist. But no words came out of you, your tongue melting at the close proximity.

He leaned closer towards you, his eyes glancing between your lips and your eyes. “May I kiss you?” he rasped, his breath against your lips.

Your still slightly gaping mouth warped into a small smile, feeling a certain rush, anticipation tingling in your fingertips.

Yet, you were able to answer him. “You may,” you whispered, your own eyes landing on his lips.

Glancing back to his eyes, they had darkened some more before he finally leaned over the last distance separating you both, soft lips touching yours, caressing them. This tiniest of touches sparking something in you, your body tingling, moving on its own.

A small space opened between you, but you burrowed your hand into his soft hair, grabbing his shoulder with the other one to pull him closer to you, to meet his lips again.

He shifted closer to you, your back leaning against the railing as he leaned closer into you. But the moment his teeth grazed your lips, you pulled away, your subconscious still aware of the place you were in.

You barely could tear your eyes away from him, but you had to check if anyone was in the vicinity, peering through the windows. Those were covered by heavy curtains, and you sighed a breath of relief.

His hand found your chin, lifting your gaze once again to him. “Don’t worry, I like to be prepared for anything,” he murmured, a sharp grin pulling on his lips, before he dipped to kiss you once again, to taste you on his lips. His eyes told you that he would never be satisfied ever again, and you didn’t mind, because you doubted you could ever stop this craving after this.

Still, you avoided his lips, landing on your cheek. “I still think we should go back… Everyone would be looking for you, You–”

“Call me by my name when we’re alone,” he interrupted you with a hoarse voice, putting his forehead against yours.

You smiled at that. “As long as you show the same courtesy, Katsuki.”

And you allowed yourself to indulge for a few seconds, standing like this, face as close as possible, before you pulled away to fix his hair, and yours.

After you both made sure the other looked presentable again, he took your hand in his again, kissing your knuckles softly, barely a touch. “I look forward to seeing you again.” Then he whispered your name against your skin, like a present, only for him, something for him to hoard and keep, forever.

He let go of your hand, and entered the hall, alone. You had agreed on you waiting for some time, lest something scandalous got out, yet you hated it, you hated to see his back towards you as the shine of the chandeliers once again lit him up, caressing him and taking him back.

You knew that it would be difficult to be with him, you had always known, yet you couldn’t stop now, your soul irrefutably intertwined with his. So, you promised yourself, your heart and your soul, to at least try, even if it meant to spend a little bit more time with him.

A sigh, a moment, a wish towards the stars, and you entered the hall once again. Alone, the same way you left, yet entirely changed.

[lets-try-some-writing]

Funky hcs, cybertronians purring when content or happy, or making small chirps to eachother when too lazy to use words (cliffjumper would do this)

Smoll sparkling instinctually climb on their parents backs like possums do, so imagine starscream with the jettwins clenched on his back sleeping while he's working.

Dreadwing easily get flustered if someone flirts with him.

Starscream thinks dreadwing is attractive, but would never say it even if you torture him lol

Prime finial move like cat ears

Soundwave probably has stray cats in his quarters

When it becomes too cold, cybertronians curl around eachother for warmth.

Sparklings have 4 stages in early years before becoming a youngling, bean, too smoll to move, only chirp and sleep and eat, waddly stage, they're still pudgy but they're grown a bit, their optics open and they waddle to get to places, serval kitten, lanky limbs and unproportioned body structure, zoomes everywhere, uncoordinated as all hell, loud, and finally semi youngling, or a nibbling, where they start to walk on two legs intsead of four limbs, this is the stage were they become more talkative and have longer conversations.

Well since this isn't super specific, here are some additional headcanons of mine to go with this.

In relation to sparklings:

Newforged sparklings are practically animals. The youngest can hardly move most times, but frag it all when they really put their spark to it they can be terrifying and bolt on all fours.

Sparklings, when without a caretaker, travel in small packs. The youngest will magnetize themselves to the oldest and they roam wild until they develop higher processing abilities or are adopted.

Newforged sparklings have denta sharp enough to rival a scraplet and can and will bite when approached.

Sparklings have a natural desire to seek out civilization through special code and find said civilization via a special set of sensors that allow them to detect spark signature density.

They lose these sensors as they age, often signifying the activation their higher cognitive functions. However if left stranded once these sensors are lost, the sparkling in question will turn out to be more wild in response to lack of exposure to other mecha.

Sparklings have zero preferences when it comes to fuel and will devour anything with even a hint of energon in it. This includes but is not limited to dirt, bugs, small-mechanimals, any energon powered tools, and even energon crystals five times their size.

Sparklings can unhinge their jaws slightly to devour larger energon portions. This can lead them to get things stuck halfway down their intake after a failed attempt to eat it.

Sparklings choose their own caretakers when left to their own devices. These chosen caretakers often end up doing better in raising their charges than those not selected personally, but this is not always the case.

It is incredibly rare for two sparklings to choose the same caretaker and get along because most refuse to tolerate a sibling who is in their minds, competition for scarce resources.

Sparklings are slow to bond to their caretaker but surprisingly possessive even before a bond is established.

Sparklings are known to fight over potential caretakers when there are not enough or two or more take an interest in the same one.

Once bonded to their caretaker, sparklings will make their claim clear to any others they see, often hissing, chirping, or otherwise making a racket to prove that the mech they chose is theirs.

Grounder sparklings will magnetize themselves to their caretaker's back so they can still see what is going on, fliers will hang off the shoulder, minicons prefer hiding in their caretaker when possible, and triplechangers/beastformers are more fond of hanging onto an arm or leg.

Sparklings shed armor as they grow and develop new plating as they age. They start off fairly smooth and round but gain more sharp edges and defining features with time. Wings and other such kibble grow in right before younglinghood.

In relation to Cybertronian Habits:

Cybertronians are not a very touchy race. They do not physically touch one another often because they have EM fields to make up for body language.

Touching is considered a very intimate thing when not in a professional setting. It is only done between those who trust one another or are familiar enough to be somewhat at ease.

Shoulder touches and small lingering interactions of similar variety are common among co-workers and friends.

Clasping arms or being particularly close is something found only among close friends, Amica bonded, or political allies.

Full blown hugs are something meant for family and family alone. It is a rare gift.

Touching helms is considered the highest form of intimacy and is reserved solely for Conjunx Endura or caretaker's and their sparklings. There are rare cases where it is seen between abused mecha bound together by trauma, but beyond that it is a sacred thing.

Caste, or rank determines how much a mech is allowed to express themselves.

Low caste mecha are expected to keep their helms low and be quiet, but are otherwise not forbidden from being more touchy and interactive.

Middle caste mecha are required to be chaste in all sorts of interaction. Their EM fields must be held close and their outward expression must be carefully controlled. Intimacy of any kind in public is frowned upon.

High caste mecha, depending on function are either required to show nothing or allows to express themselves however they see fit.

This bleeds into behavior in both Autobots and Decpeticons due to how deeply these stigmas were rooted.

When startled Cybertronians flare their plating to look bigger.

Most Cybertronians have built in tracking systems and will automatically track small lights like laser pointers when unfocused. This behavior has been largely trained out of the bots involved in the war, but it can still be seen when the bots are tired.

Even Optimus Prime can end up whipping around to track a small light when exhausted before he refocuses.

Cybertronians naturally do not speak but rather sing to communicate. Spoken language was introduced by the Quintessons but has since only been used in formal situations to show attention and understanding.

Cybertronians don't really get cold. Their sparks keep their internals somewhat warm, but when they do end up reaching an environment so cold it can reach their cores, they group together and connect via special cables to share heat.

When too hot, Cybertronians can shed their outer layers of armor. More often than not they simply flare their plating and work their fans to cool down since it can take weeks if not months for shed plating to regro.

It is also healthy and normal for a Cybertronian to shed their plating after a few centuries of wear and tear so that fresh plating may grow in its place.

Shed plating is often eaten by the Cybertronian who lost it as a way to conserve resources.

There are even special recipes designed to make eating shed plating more palatable.

Cybertronians all have mandibles in their intakes which they use to process energon. They can extend their mandibles and the tubing attached to it if required, but it is uncomfortable for those no longer sparklings.

Mecha left alone in groups will form clans on instinct. The biggest among them automatically ends up activating more protective codes while the smaller become more sensitive to changes in the area.

After the Quintessons invasion, all Cybertronians forged from the Well are coded with an instinctual hatred toward the invaders and are all modeled to be best able to resist the invaders should they come again.

Random tidbits:

Optimus had sensory panels when he was still wild, ones that flared out from the sides of his helm much like insect antennae. They were far more sensitive then and have since been armored and largely hidden. He still brings them out on occasion though just so that he doesn't forget how to use them.

Arcee originally had a bright pink and white paintjob. She only changed it after the war began to inspire fear in her foes. She actually misses her old paint dearly but it too involved in her persona to drop it now.

Being from the early ages of Cybertron's history, Ratchet has a few modifications that no modern mecha possess. One such mod is his innate ability to operate with less energon. His frame was designed to retain energon and use it more efficiently, therefore making it less common for him to fuel as often as the others.

Bulkhead actually wanted to be an architect before the war but was denied entry into school because of his frame type and instead joined the wreckers after being rejected. In his free time he still comes up with building plans sometimes.

Bumblebee was known to have one of the most beautiful voices among Autobot troops before he was made mute. He could reach pitches that no others could and was even able to perform feats of song known to only be possible to those with mods or highly sensitive vocalizers. Losing his voice didn't hurt most because he couldn't speak, no, it hurt more because he could no longer sing.

Ultra Magnus received a frame upgrade sometime in his past that was highly experimental at the time. It made him larger, sturdier, and overall a force to be reckoned with. However he gets pains and phantom aches where old kibble used to be due to the relative newness of his mods at the time.

Wheeljack almost invented space bridges by accident before they were conceived by council scientists. He was trying to make a bomb that would tap into the void to create a mini black hole and instead made a small portal. He brushed it off as failed experiment at the time and didn't learn till long after that he had concocted space bridges before they were even a thing and didn't even know it.

Megatron has not shed his plating in over two millennia and continues to refuse to do so for various reasons he will not state despite the fact that his armor is old and getting rather frail at the base. He works around this by strengthening his armor with special salves and injections so that he need not shed it.

Starscream once had a far more appealing frame that he ended up getting changed during the war after receiving an injury that nearly shredded his entire outer armor. He never had much of an opportunity to change it back to how it was after that, but he does dearly miss his previous appearance even if he never says so.

Soundwave was once a very bulky mech and only slimmed down after he left the senate to try and emulate spark eaters in a rather quiet act of defiance toward his previous companions. He much prefers being seen as similar to the monsters of old instead of as an intimidating but ultimately fallible mech.

Shockwave sometimes has moments where the shadow play wears off long enough for his previous personality to make an appearance. It is very rare, but when it happens he is often kept locked away so he can't go running to Optimus who was once a friend back when he was Orion Pax.

Knockout used to be a flight frame and only lost his wings due to an accident. He pioneered the way to changing his alt-mode to fit in, but he still misses the skies and sometimes likes to stand on tall structures to feel the wind. He even likes to skydive if he is sure there is a landing place for him or some sort of security to keep him from falling to his death.

Breakdown actually once wished to work in sparkling care but was denied because of his alt-mode and frame type. The skills he picked up and the knowledge of sparklings he accumulated has largely found use with the Vehicons due to their relative youth. He tends to baby the Vehicons when he can and they appreciate it.

Dreadwing once had a duel to the death with a noble back when he was very young. He won, but got a nasty scar across his chassis in the process, one that never fully recovered and has since been covered. Skyquake got an engraving in the same place to match the scar so Dreadwing didn't feel so alone.

Arachnid almost joined Sentinel's science division as a researcher and only left at the last moment because of the threat of being shadow played.

The Vehicons play dead when it battle against Optimus. They have long learned that if they stay down after being hit Optimus won't kill them and they won't be punished since they were "hurt".