#children of abuse learn to love each other and themselves

[creepykuroneko]

A lot of people in the notes keep complaining that it's okay to have adult content that does not contain explicit sex scenes. I feel like they are 100% missing the whole point of this post.

Its true no piece of media NEEDS to have a sex scene in it, but if you know anything about conservative Puritan societies, you would be rooting for the sex scenes.

The LIE "we're protecting children" is the excuse used to beat down anyone and anything that doesn't fit into nice clean white, middle class, abled body, cishet, Christian values.

If you have not seen the documentary this film is not yet rated, I highly recommend doing so. It talks about Hollywood's double standards and hypocrisy when it comes to what type of violence and sex is considered acceptable in movies and what is not. Men masturbating on screen completely acceptable. Women masturbating on the screen unacceptable. Men having an orgasm on the camera a okay but a woman having an orgasm on the camera is a no no. Women being raped, beaten, tortured, and murdered is okay. Women having lesbian sex is not.

This horror movie is about a teenage girl who after being let down one too many times by society, starts to kill her rapists one by one? "Can't have that! It's too violent! How is that child appropriate?"

Don't even get me started on the fact that homophobes assume that being gay automatically makes you a sexual deviant. It doesn't matter if a movie/show has zero sex scenes in it, no "crude" or "offensive" humor, if there is a queer couple in it, that's basically an orgy in the eyes of conservatives. Andi Mack anyone? Bluey? I remember in a interview with Alex Hirsch, he talked about how in the Gravity Falls episode Love God, he originally wanted two elderly women to fall in love with each other, but the censors said absolutely not.

Movies that show black joy, black couples having a happy, intimate, romantic, sexual relationship are often put on the back burner. Keep in mind with how little representation Hollywood gives black voices, especially ones that are not harmful stereotypes, it's important for black people to see themselves represented in the media as being happy. Then you also have to acknowledge the fact that when black people make black movies for black audience, they get terrible funding, little to no advertising, and limited run in theaters. Regardless of if a black movie is meant to discuss social issues or it's just the campy movie that happens to star a all black cast, many non black people assume it's automatically political because its made by black people and feel that it would not be a all age is appropriate movie. Despite the fact that they know nothing about the movie and the reality that kids need to be taught about everything. We already know that children in elementary school already start to experience racism from their peers. So I assure you, watching racially diverse films it's the least of society's problem.

Horror is my absolute favorite genre. I'm not saying it's never problematic or you can't criticize it, there are movies that definitely deserve criticism. Sorry, stay with me here I'm about to break this down into two topics.

Horror is good for children. It helps give children a safe contained space to explore different issues, scenarios, and topics that can really help get the critical thinking going. A child reading a book about another child who gets kidnapped and is able to escape from their kidnapper because they figured out how to free themselves is actually good information. It's easy to laugh it off as it's not real life but let's be honest, we know that bad things happen in the real world all the time. Think about how many conservatives get angry when sex ed in schools is brought up because they think it's inappropriate for children to learn? They also don't like media that specifically gets into consent. It's because a lot of them turn out to be pedos themselves. They don't want the children they are abusing to catch on that they need to tell another adult about it.

Horror is the only genre I can think of that features the most physically and mentally diverse characters out there. Don't get me wrong, I'm well aware that the plots are usually ableist. Going back to some constructive criticism needs to be had. At the same time though I can think of over a dozen horror movies off the top of my head with real disabled actors in them. How many movies can you think off the top of your head that are not under the horror genre that feature disabled characters? The 1930 film freaks, features a cast of disabled characters. The film was banned for decades because it was considered "grotesque". When American Horror Story freak Show came out, it was very heavily influenced by Freaks. There's some really good interviews with the cast about how they don't find being called a freak offensive. They explained their disabilities, what their life is like, and what they want people to know about them. Despite the title, the cast is very open about sharing their voice and being open with their disabilities. You also have iconic horror actor like Javier Botet who is very open about the fact that he has Marfan syndrome. Botet does not necessarily do child friendly horror but a lot of kids do see his horror movies and love him. Oftentimes when I speak with families of a child with Marfan syndrome, Botet is the first real world example of a famous person with the same condition as the children. It absolutely makes children happy to see that their favorite monster on screen has the same disability as them. Granted this is not true for everyone with Marfan syndrome. I have met people with Marfan syndrome who hate the horror genre and that is okay. Have also met other people with marfan syndrome who love horror films and love seeing actors with the same disability as them.

Child media is so heavily censored as it is. Adult media does not need to be handled with kid gloves as well. Children should not be watching cocomelon because we already know it rots their brains, adults really don't need to be fed cocomelon-esque type of slop. Sorry/not sorry for going on a long rant there. We need diverse stories with diverse characters in them. Adults deserve to have good media that yeah touches on issues that make SOME people uncomfortable. To the person who experiences discomfort watching certain types of media, what exactly is it that makes you uncomfortable? If it's a burry your gays Trope or poc, disabled, and women's lives are disposable while the white man lives I can understand disappointment at seeing your life devalued time and again. If you are outrage though because we got to see the actresses nipple, the rapist priest got decapitated, a group of Native Americans are killing the group of white zombies who are trying to kill them, the white abled body cishet man is the only character to die, or God forbid we should see a black woman kissing an Asian woman, then you need to sit in the corner and unpack that.

hot take possibly? but i actually think it’s okay for things to be marketed for adults. it’s literally okay if things aren’t suitable for children. i feel like we are losing the plot

[tacagen]

one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!

((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))

but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS

(and, well. whatever this classifies as)

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

*NSFW* How to train your pet Human pt. 3 (Yandere!Alien x GN!Reader)

CW: Dub-con, mild psychological distress, mind break, dead dove fic

Part 1, part 2

Kirtch slumped over his friend's standing chair, miserable and mopey.

A tall creature, taller than even Kirtch, sighed dramatically, sauntering around their depressed friend with a smaller horned being crawling behind them.

"I don't understand what I'm doing wrong." Kirtch whined pathetically in Jaudna's native tongue. Jaudna made a gurgling sound with the soft spot on their head, the closest human equivalent being someone rolling their eyes. They sprawled across their lounging seat, motioning for their pet to stay on his knees.

"I'll tell you exactly what you've done wrong. You pampered them too much."

"I punish them!"

"You punished them for their escape attempt. That was it. You've allowed your pet to test your authority in plenty of ways after that."

The man on his knees pleaded with his eyes to be let up, but stayed perfectly still, like he wasn't alive. Kirtch noted Jaudna's pet's demeanor with discomfort. That discomfort only lasted until he imagined (Reader) in that same position, looking up at him with their large dewy eyes, waiting so patiently to be held by him... his discomfort was replaced by jealousy.

"You don't understand, (Reader's) such a sweet little pet, and whenever they struggle they're so cute about it. I just can't understand why they aren't happy."

"Humans' minds are incredibly flawed. According to the few psychological texts I have gotten my claws on over the years, their memory is not set in stone like ours, it is fickle and easily manipulated. One of my books referenced a case in the nation called 'The United States of America' where nearly the entire country fell into panic over an imaginary evil, because a few doctors used a phoney science called 'hypnotism', a practice they believed could help recover forgotten memories, on a bunch of children, but accidentally implanted false memories of abuse, leaving the children traumatized, believing that they had been victims of a horrific occult."

Kirtch looked to his good friend nervously. "Are you implying I do something nefarious to my pet's mind?"

"No, I'm showcasing an example of how stupidly easy it should be to train your pet to love you." They tossed a book into Kirtch's hands, the cover printed with a photograph of a wild looking man, with fluffy hair and dark, hateful eyes. "Hypnotism isn't the only creative way humans have learned to reprogram each other."

Kirtch almost threw the book back, but saw Jaudna's unnamed pet still sitting so patiently for his master, and the pain in his body where his heart may have been throbbed again. "Thank you.. Jaudna."

(Reader) had waited for what they assumed to be well over an Earth day, alone in Kirtch's quarters, waiting for his return. The only company they received were the employees who brought their meals, speaking down at them in a language they didn't know, but could understand the disgust. It had been over a month since their fight with Kirtch. Every day since had been nothing but hell, feeling like their heart had been ripped out, they laid in their bed cage, only moving when necessary, allowing themselves to hide away inside their own mind.

The main door opened again, and (Reader) could hear Kirtch's long, graceful steps as he passed through the study and into the bedroom. "(Reader)? Are you still in bed?"

In an act of defiance, (Reader) kept their mouth shut, pulling the blanket tighter around their shoulders. But it was of little use, as Kirtch easily lifted their purposefully dead weighted body out of the bed.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long, pet, but I had to see an old friend for advice." He carried (Reader) back to his desk, sitting them in his lap, fighting to hold them upright as they flopped about limply. "(Reader), please sit up so I can take off your shirt."

He began working on the wrists, the intricate metal cuffs with multiple buttons that almost acted like locks, and (Reader) subtly straightened their back to give him better access to the neck corset thing, thankful to finally have it off for a couple hours at least. (Reader) had grown to find it somewhat elegant the past few months, but it still was an incredible pain in the ass.

Feeling the air on their neck was bliss, and (Reader) immediately ran their fingers over their skin. (Reader) breathed a deep sigh, relaxing their body unintentionally. But almost as soon as their hands left their throat, a new collar was latched into place, a loud mechanism clicking as it tightened, stabbing the back of their neck with what felt like a fixed needle.

(Reader) cried out in pain, sprawling out their limbs on reflex, pushing themselves out of Kirtch's embrace and onto the floor, lying naked on their knees as they clawed at the collar, desperate to relieve the pain.

"What?? Why?" Their voice was barely audible through their sobs.

"I'm so sorry my pet, the pain will end soon, wait-" Kirtch pushed a button on what looked like a remote, and (Reader) could physically feel the rush of liquid enter their body, then the pain lightened, leaving (Reader) almost euphoric in it's absence.

"What is this? Why did you do this?" Betrayal laced their tone, and Kirtch looked almost on the verge of tears, but he stood still, refusing his urge to scoop up his little pet and beg for forgiveness.

"I know now that I didn't train you correctly, and for that I am sorry. I've given you too much leeway, and that is why you've been so unhappy." He took a ragged breath, thumbing the controller as he thought out his words. "I didn't want to do this, but I care about your happiness. This is for the best."

"So you put a shock collar on me?" (Reader) asked incredulously, spitting venom.

"No, nothing barbaric like that!" Kirtch looked hurt, flinching as he almost dropped onto his knees to comfort (Reader). "I just need to convince you that you're happy here with me, just as I did the first night you were here, to help you release your stress."

(Reader) remembered the shot he gave them, that first night when Kirtch used a toy to get them off, the hormones he artificially added to their body to make them feel pleasure, and then thought about the pain in the back of their neck. The color drained from their face. There were only two options; plead or double down.

"You can manipulate me all you like, I'll never be happy here." A tear escaped as (Reader) transformed their hurt into anger. "I deserve someone who will love me, not as a pet, but as an equal. Because I am a human fucking being. And we have partnerships. We don't jack off our pets, we do not love our pets like we love the people we have sex with, because that- that is not okay! Why did you.." (Reader) couldn't stop themselves from crying, looking up to try to at least slow the waterworks.

The silence between them was loud. (Reader) turned away, wiping away their snot with their bare arms.

"Pet, noun; a domestic or tamed animal kept for companionship or pleasure. Adjective; denoting a thing that one devotes special attention to or feels particularly strongly about." (Reader) looked up, horrified. "Your's may not be my first language, but I feel I had a pretty decent grasp on my understanding of what a pet is."

Kirtch placed a hand over his face to hide his expression.

"You'll be happier once this is all over. I promise."

"You son of a-!" (Reader) couldn't finish their sentence, more fluid passed into their spine, followed by an immediate sense of emptiness. Extreme anxiety flooded their body, causing severe stomach pain almost instantly. They collapsed, holding onto their midsection, their bare skin clammy. "What? Why?"

"No more talking back to me, pet." Kirtch kept his voice steady.

(Reader) cried out, rapidly becoming exhausted from heavy nothingness filling their body. "Please.. stop.."

Kirtch nodded, appearing relieved. He pushed another button, and the emptiness ebbed away, leaving (Reader) numb.

"I don't understand why you're doing this." (Reader) weakly grumbled, too tired to pick themselves up.

"Because I want you to be happy."

"I'll never be happy with you."

"Why?"

"Because! I deserve to be loved!"

"I love you-"

"Fucking liar." (Reader) snarled, knowing that this would cause them to be punished again, but needing to get in the last word. Kirtch looked so miserable, so crushed by (Reader's) words, but they felt vindicated by his pain. They needed to twist the knife deeper.

He smiled, so sadly, and grabbed a blanket, bending onto one knee as he covered his pet. "I love you, (Reader)."

Their heart clenched, and their face flushed. Immediately they searched his hands for the remote. "S-stop that."

"I love you."

Chemicals pumped into their neck, making (Reader) feverish and causing their thighs to ache. Their breath hitched, and tears of betrayal escaped. "I hate you."

"I know."

More pain gripped their throat, regret causing physical discomfort. "Why are you doing this?"

His smooth shelled fingers caressed their jaw, tenderly cradling (Reader's) face as though he needed them. Kirtch's touch sent shivers across (Reader's) skin, and they couldn't tell if it was because of the collar or their loneliness, but they wanted to pull him closer, make him touch them more.

"I will live for much longer than you. I will watch you grown old, and die. Even then, I will still love you. You are the most incredible creature I've ever met. I don't mind if you push me away, and slap at me. I just want you to be happy, at least most of the time." His head grew closer, his hardened face almost brushing (Reader's). "Let me make you happy."

'I need to fight back. Make him pay! I'm practically a slave! He bought me! I'll never see my family again because of him!'

(Reader) leaned forward, mind melting through their ears from the intense heat, and smashed their lips onto where his should have been.

All rational thoughts were drowned out by the intense need. They needed him, his love. (Reader) was aware of the sound of buttons clicking, but they couldn't stop, crawling onto Kirtch's body, feeling the edges of his joints scraping their back as his hands hungrily roamed their body, wanting to touch everything.

They would have felt ashamed, knowing how aroused they were, their exposed body touching Kirtch's stomach. Sweat was clinging to (Reader's) skin, and their eyes drooped stupidly. The only thing they could think of was relieving themselves, and wanting to see Kirtch relieved as well.

"Are you going to fuck me?" (Reader) whined between wet kisses, drunk on his touches.

"I will, if you want me to."

Their mood shifted, frustration beginning to surface again. "No. If you love me, wouldn't you want me?"

Kirtch sighed, fiddling with the remote behind (Reader's) back. "I do not have the same nervous system as humans do. We only engage in sexual acts for the purpose of procreation."

Shame shocked (Reader), sobering them up instantly. "Oh. I- I am so sorry." (Reader) moved to get off of Kirtch, but was held in place by the much stronger being.

"I will, to make you happy."

"No, I'm sorry! It won't make me happy knowing you aren't feeling good. I'm-I'm sorry, please let me go."

Kirtch pressed the button again, watching his pet's face darken and their mouth go from frightened to slack jawed. "Knowing you are feeling pleasure, from me, and only me, will bring me more joy than I can express." His cloak was ripped away, revealing his gorgeously colored exoskeleton. Kirtch gripped (Reader's) face tighter, forcing his blue tongue deep into their mouth, bursting with pride at the sounds (Reader) was making.

"What do you want me to do?" Kirtch asked, not intending on sounding like he was teasing them, but Kirtch craved the sound of their voice begging him.

"Please.." (Reader) swallowed their drool, feeling the hormones pumping into their brain, but too horny to care. "Please fuck me."

The spot on his pelvis where a human's genitals would be split open and a long, slimy cock revealed itself, growing behind (Reader's) back to a horrifying size. (Reader) only became aware of his erection when it fell forward, slapping against (Reader's) ass and lower back. In their intoxicated state, they turned back to look at what had suddenly touched them, and their eyes grew large in surprise. "Is that..? That's too big..."

Off balance and tipsy, (Reader) turned around, still sitting on Kirtch's abdomen, so that they were facing his exposed dick, and touched it experimentally. It was ridiculously huge, but because of the hormones being injected into (Reader's) neck, they were ravenous, using both hands to pump up and down on the shaft as they stuck the thin tipped head into their mouth, tasting Kirtch passionately. Kirtch was beyond elated, watching his precious pet so needy for him.

Kirtch picked (Reader) up, moaning at the popping sound as he pulled their mouth away from his body, seeing nothing but love in (Reader's) eyes as he spun them back to face him, and slowly began lowering (Reader) onto his naturally lubricated member. "Keep looking at me."

(Reader's) mind was hazy, and it felt like they were about to die, saliva and alien fluids leaking out their mouth and down their chin. Their internal voice had gone silent, the amount of tampering that had been done to their brain left (Reader) devoid of rational thought and intellect. "Yes sir." They barely got the words out as Kirtch entered their body, sliding into their needy little hole easily and without resistance, ramming himself in so their pelvis smacked into his shell with a wet plop, bringing (Reader) to a climax just from entering.

"Smile for me, pet." Kirtch cooed joyfully, loving how (Reader's) body spasmed, before slowly lifting them up, revealing the trail of their combined wetness stretching between their reproductive organs.

(Reader) smiled, reacting on autopilot as they rode out their orgasm, practically biting off their tongue when their sensitive body connected with Kirtch's again. "Ahhh, I already came! Stop!!" Their words cried for relief, however their voice and smile demanded more. It was too much, and (Reader) did want a break, but it also felt amazing, and that dirty little part of themselves that was desperate for love needed their body to be abused.

Kirtch bounced (Reader) on his cock, fucking them like a toy, regretting that he didn't have a camera rolling to capture just how adorable his pet was in his hands. "Look at how happy you are, pet! Don't you want to be this happy all the time? Don't you always want to be happy, with me?"

Kirtch greedily pushed the button again, peppering (Reader) with kisses as they came again, their sticky juices splattering on his stomach. The squelching sound of (Reader's) bruising body getting fucked by the hard as steel monster beneath them was music to Kirtch's ears. He had, embarrassingly, read the book his friend had lent him, and knew now how humans used pleasure to keep brainwashed people by their side. But it wasn't just pleasure, it was that feeling of connection. He had thought about what (Reader) had said, that humans don't jack off their pets, and that made sense, for animals that did not share the same level of intelligence as an adult human. What (Reader) needed, was to feel equal, to feel like they weren't just a pet, but a partner. So how would they feel, if Kirtch ejaculated so deep into their body they were still excreting his cum weeks later?

"I'm going to mark you as mine, (Reader)." It was a lie, his species did no such thing, but the look of unbridled joy on (Reader's) cross eyed face, the loopy smile that twitched as tears poured down to their chest, was a sight that made it worth lying.

"Are you cumming? Are you cumming in me?" (Reader) slurred, barely holding themselves upright in Kirtch's grasp.

"If you promise to be a good little pet." Kirtch could hold out for as long as needed. His species did not have sex for pleasure, so there was no sense of urgency when they needed to release. He could have continued going for hours, if he hadn't overdone it with the collar. (Reader) was on the verge of passing out.

"I promise! I promise to be a good pet! I promise!" (Reader) exclaimed, colliding their lips back onto Kirtch's as a string of hot sperm shot up into (Reader's) body, a fluid so thick it was practically glue, leaving (Reader) feeling physically full. Kirtch couldn't help but push the button again, seeing his pet overflow with adoration for him.

"I love you, (Reader), I really really do."

Kirtch whispered sweet nothing's into his pet's ear as they passed out, then carried them to his bed, tucking in their swollen body, not minding the mess. (Reader) really was the most beautiful and adorable little pet in the entire universe. He doubt that he would ever get another pet after (Reader) was gone. He sat on the floor, rubbing circles into their tear stained cheeks, smiling contently.

Of course, the next day Kirtch would have to use the collar, showing (Reader) how bad they truly felt inside when they refused to get out of bed, and while it was awful making them cry when they tried to refuse to eat, it was for the best. Kirtch knew it wouldn't take long for (Reader) to graduate from needing their collar, and that soon they would always be by his side, begging him to pick them up and play with them. It didn't matter whether (Reader) needed cuddles or needed to be filled with his seed, Kirtch would overuse that remote until they desired his touch all the time.

He didn't mind the glassy, doll like glaze to their eyes, the change in their speech, the way they began crying whenever it looked like Kirtch was unhappy, or how they stopped pushing him away. After months of flushing their system with artificial love, Kirtch knew that his pet was happy with him. And that was all that mattered.

[crystallizedtwilight]

Nightmare Before Christmas AU Overview:

OVERVIEW: This AU follows the events of the movie The Nightmare Before Christmas. Taking place a few years in the future, it focuses on the adventures of Lock, Shock, and Barrel as young adults. The trio has since been welcomed into the town by Pumpkin King and Queen Jack and Sally, though they still live happily in their treehouse on the outskirts. They enjoy life under their own command, free from the now-deceased Oogie Boogie, causing mischief and pulling pranks on the good folk of Halloween Town. Throughout their continued adventures together they discover that growing means learning about themselves, each other, and dealing with change. But one thing remains constant—they'll always be birds of a feather, now and forever.

BACKSTORIES: The trio came to Halloween Town under unfortunate circumstances. Each of their families had lived in the human world, as many monsters do, either nomadically, elusively in the wilderness, or by masquerading. The trio were all born in different parts of the the world during the height of monster hunting. They were three fortunate cases who were found by other monsters and taken to Halloween Town as orphans.

Once in Halloween Town, the trio often ditched school, feeling they weren’t as accepted as the local kids, and deliberately caused trouble which earned them a bad reputation. The three bonded over a love of mischief and the feeling of being outcasts, so when Oogie offered them a life free of rules, they were easily convinced to leave the town entirely to become his henchmen.

Unbeknownst to them, the reason monster hunting took place during that time was because Oogie was rampantly devouring human children. Essentially, they were orphaned because their boss had given humans in several towns desperate cause to hunt the supernatural.

They would not come to learn this until after Boogie’s death. They grew up resenting humans for orphaning them and were horrified to learn that they'd worked for the monster who forced humans to defend themselves as well as let their parents take the fall. Nowadays, they choose to give the human world a chance, just as their families did, by regularly traveling all over the world.

LOCK:

Lock is an imp, which is a type of devil. He has nocturnal vision, speed, and a natural desire to climb to very high places. He can often be found on the roof of the treehouse or up a tree when he needs to think. In the human world, imps are stealth hunters in deep forests, preying on deer and other local fauna. However, Lock has a diet of junk food and candy since he was raised without these hunting skills in Halloween Town.

Imps are naturally solitary creatures and dislike group settings, so no imp has ever come through Halloween Town. This, unfortunately, gave Lock a subconscious sense of loneliness and doubt. This is why he tries the hardest to keep the trio together by rejecting any change, which at one point resulted in a huge argument with Shock when she wanted to start attending coven studies a few days a week.

Of the three, Oogie’s abuse rooted itself mostly deeply within him, as Oogie played into the “who else would want you” angle Lock already felt as the only imp in town. He often overcompensates for his insecurities with arrogance and acts childishly, selfishly, and even meanly at times. However, under it all, he has a good heart and just wants to know that his friends aren’t going to leave him.

Lock and Shock are rivals who motivate each other, constantly bickering over which one of them is actually the leader of the trio. At the end of the day, they respect each other's skills and would do anything to keep their friend safe, but you'll never hear them say that.

Eventually, Lock begins a casual fwb relationship with Barrel, under the terms "as long as it doesn’t change anything”—worried that if they labeled themselves and it went sour, he could lose his friend. Barrel, who had always been in love with him, happily agreed to these terms. However, despite insisting that they were only friends, Lock finds himself extremely jealous when another ghoul, Belladonna, takes an interest in Barrel.

Lock is overwhelmed to realize that he actually does have feelings for Barrel but has likely missed his chance with him by insisting they weren't together, and Belladonna is probably better for him anyway. In an emotional confrontation where Lock accidentally scars Barrel’s arm with a bite, the two finally confess their true feelings.

SHOCK:

Shock is a witch, which is a type of magical entity. Of the three, she is the most confident and intelligent. Most witches will start coven studies at a young age to learn how to harness their magic, however, growing up under Oogie, she was discouraged from doing so. After Oogie’s demise Shock found herself determined to pursue her dreams of magic. Unlike how it had affected Lock, Oogie’s vicious words of “you’re not good enough” were only fuel to her fire, and she took all that anger and turned in into passion for her studies. 

She demanded that Halloween Town’s coven mentor her, even though she was older than the typical witch who was just starting her studies. The coven saw her passion and agreed. The studying has three phases: master flying, master potions, and master hexes, and one cannot be learned until the previous is mastered. The process takes years but Shock is currently deep in her potions phase and can often be found nose-deep in a book or foraging for herbs. Mastering hexes is her dream and she is eagerly chasing it.

One night, while out for a flight, Shock encounters a banshee crying in the moonlight. Shock learns that her name is Calliope and the human family’s line that she watched over had come to an end. Shock instantly feels drawn to her and they quickly become friends. Shock secretly makes it her mission help Calliope feel happy again. Eventually, the two develop romantic feelings for each other as well.

BARREL:

Barrel is a ghoul, which is a type of demon that feasts on the flesh of cold, buried humans. Like Lock, Barrel was raised on junk food and candy in Halloween Town so that’s the diet he prefers today. Ghouls are naturally nomadic due to their diet, needing to find different graveyards to dig in to avoid being caught. However, many ghoul packs often breeze through Halloween Town for events, and are genuinely regarded fondly by the locals since they’re always polite and up for a fun time.

Of the three, Barrel is the most easygoing. He wants to hang out with his friends more than he wants to prank people, but is always up for fun nonetheless. He also keeps scorpions as pets. Regarding Oogie, Barrel walked away the least scathed because Shock and Lock intentionally took the brunt of his anger to protect him since he was the youngest. This left Barrel with a sense of guilt for not being strong enough to protect his friends back then. However he’s worked through that by deciding he would never let either of them be hurt again now that he could hold his own.

Barrel always had a crush on Lock since the moment he met him. The feeling was not mutual, and it wasn’t until Barrel kissed him much later in life that Lock even entertained the idea. Despite this, Barrel continues to love him timelessly and patiently, despite Lock still having a lot to work through and trouble recognizing his own feelings.

CALLIOPE:

Calliope is a banshee, which is a type of fairy that heralds death. She is sweet-natured and very new to the ways of Halloween Town, having grown up in the human world. She loves dogs since, like her, they also warn humans of danger. She has taken a liking to Zero in particular.

Calliope develops feelings for Shock who not only helped her feel at home in Halloween Town, but also helped her find her happiness when she never thought she'd smile again. Nowadays, Calliope is happier than ever before.

BELLADONNA:

Belladonna is a ghoul who lives in the human world with a pack of other ghouls. They masquerade as a human band/roadies, live nomadically, and actually put on some good concerts. Ghouls don’t kill or cause any harm to humans (they love their audiences!) but they do eat corpses by raiding graves at night. They breeze through Halloween Town once or twice a year for big events.

Belladonna is instantly attracted to Barrel when they meet at one of Halloween Town's formal parties. She is fun, good-natured, and helps Barrel learn about what his kind is up to in the human world.

JACK:

Jack still reigns as Pumpkin King, alongside Sally whom he recently wed. Regarding the trio, Jack feels guilt for overlooking them when they were children. Jack had a no-kill policy when it came to humans and Oogie Boogie did not—due to this conflict, Jack banished Oogie to the outskirts, and he is the reason the town has a guarded gate.

Jack was especially bitter about this rivalry, since he used to be friends with Oogie, and declared that Oogie would never be allowed into town again. Moreover, anyone associated with Oogie needed a by-name invitation from Jack himself before they’d be allowed into town. Even though the trio were just children at that time, Jack declared there would be no exceptions, and ignored the fact that the trio were actually in real danger with Oogie, which he found easy to overlook since they were so ill-behaved and rude to him.

At the end of the movie the trio have a change of heart and warn the townsfolk that Jack, Sally, and Sandy are trapped in Oogie's lair. Even though Jack was able to defeat Oogie before needing the town's assistance, this helped him see that the trio are actually good kids and he was wrong to ignore their circumstances for so long.

Nowadays, Jack tries very hard to make up for his mistake. He has declared that they are welcome inside the town, removed the gate, and regularly defends them when they prank the townsfolk (and Jack himself). Sometimes, Jack tries too hard, requiring their attendance at Town celebrations which the trio roll their eyes at. They regard Jack as a nerd, but know he is well-meaning. The mayor still dislikes them, but trusts Jack’s judgement.

SALLY:

Sally, now Pumpkin Queen, gets along quite well with the trio. Because she is so clever, she’s the only person in town they’ve never managed to prank, and she even managed to prank them once. Though Queen is her title, sewing is her passion and she happily has taken up the job as town seamstress, eagerly designing clothes for all the wonderful shapes that call Halloween Town home, trio included.

Shock actually enjoys Sally’s company and thinks of her like an older sister, even confiding in or asking her for advice at times. Lock is still a bit skeptical and cold with her since he is forever done with authority figures, though Sally finds him funny. Barrel likes Sally just fine, and really enjoys how soft and comfortable she makes all his clothes.

OTHER KIDS:

Growing up, the trio didn’t like the inner-town kids (Corpse Kid, Mummy Boy, and Winged Demon, as they’re referred to in the movie). The trio saw them as “goody-two-shoes” who grew up nice and cushy inside the town gate, happy to follow Jack’s ever order, and going home to loving families every night. However, the inner-town trio prove to not actually be so bad and take earnest steps to make the trio feel welcome in town after Oogie’s demise.

MISC FACTS: ▪️ The trio regularly utilize the towns tomb portals to travel all over the human world. They're particularly interested in celebrations or festivals that are similar to Halloween. They're technically not supposed to interact with human festivities so openly, as fear of the unknown gives monsters more mystery and therefore more fright factors on Halloween, but Sally knows they do so and keeps their secret: [1] [2] [3] [4]

▪️ They upgraded their treehouse to be more spacious: [1] [2] [3]

▪️ They gave each other piercings to signify them being friends forever

▪️ The three of them were brought to Halloween Town just days apart. They were then named as a unit after the merism. However, they did have other names before they arrived, though they no longer want to use them.

▪️ None of them know how old or when their birthdays are. They mark time in a very general sense by how many Halloweens it feels like they've had together.

▪️ This AU began as sketches in 2018 and I posted my first art of them publicly in 2020. I was inspired by the Photo Booth pin. I thought it would be fun if the trio took pictures in the more modern sense, capturing their shenanigans with selfies and documenting their mischief, which is why the first couple drawings are framed that way.

The second thing that inspired me was the screenshot of Oogie saying he’ll decide which of the trio to eat when they displease him, and the general theory that the masks in the treehouse are from previous victims whom he had eaten. I thought since Jack destroys Oogie at the end of the movie, maybe the trio gets the chance to grow up, hence an AU about their happy, older years.

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🎃 Entire Nightmare Before Christmas Tag

💘 Lock/Barrel Tag

🩵 Calliope Tag

💚 Belladonna Tag

🤩 Fan Art of My AU Tag (THANK YOU!!)

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Bulk questions

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[evermarch]

one of the most heart-wrenching things about thg universe is that you feel the loss of who each character would be outside the circumstances of their birth almost as acutely as you feel the loss of the characters themselves.

sure, we know what lucy gray and her family would be doing in a different world; she’d be dancing and singing and making music which defines a cultural identity. but what about the others? would haymitch have been a hilarious, loving father with a family had he not been forced to survive 47 other children’s brutal deaths? would finnick have been a charismatic and beloved actor, bringing joy to immeasurable people on his own terms? would beetee and wiress have worked together to develop technology to make it easier to connect loved ones far and wide? what would reaper and annie have given to the world, or thresh, or rue, or even coral or cato or glimmer or clove?

if katniss wasn’t half-starving and forced to spend each day hunting to feed her family, would archery be her true passion? or if she’d been a well-sustained little girl with access to art supplies, would she have spent her time sketching captivating dresses? she picks up ropes and making fish hooks quickly—could her dexterity have lent itself to knitting, sewing, or crocheting with vibrant yarns and fabrics? there’s so much evidence that katniss finds clothing inspiring and empowering, even when she dismisses it as frivolous. she likes being pretty, she just hates the circumstances under which she’s made to look pretty. cinna shows her that beauty has its own power, and there are several moments in her interactions with cinna and his designs that make me wonder who she’d be if she had space for art and creativity in her life.

conversely, peeta has had art in his life since he was a small child, but for him, art has always been entangled with his trauma. he could bake and decorate well because he learned from his mother, a mother who beat him his whole life. but his talent grows, not only as a survival tool in the first games, but when he paints rue on the floor of the training center before the second games. his art becomes not only a symbol of his trauma, but a means of resistance and solidarity. in a world where peeta’s intrinsic kindness and loving heart had been nurtured and welcomed rather than abused, could he have been a painter, helping people find collective meaning in the simple realities of life?

could katniss and peeta have still found each other in another world, a world without the horrors they were raised with, and bonded over their love of art? could they have been each other’s muses?

maybe they find their way to share art, after the events of mockingjay, as part of their process of healing and falling in love with each other. when they’re finally safe and have been for a long time, maybe katniss fashions peeta an easel for him to paint in their living room. after months of watching him gaze out the window and paint the changing leaves, katniss takes to knitting on a rocking chair in the other corner of the living room to steady her restless hands. they work silently as the days go by, quietly exchanging the things they’ve made to give each other the reassurance and love neither could ever fully convey with words.

and maybe one day, when they learn there’s a baby on the way due in midwinter, katniss takes a page from peeta’s sketchpad and starts to plan a series of sweaters and hats and socks she can knit for the baby. and peeta goes to the little nursery upstairs and starts working on a mural, so the baby will have something beautiful to look at every day. they work together to design the perfect baby blanket for their child, to ensure they will always be wrapped in a layer of protection and love by their parents.

but even if they find creativity and beauty in their lives after the end of mockingjay, the art they make will simply never be what that art could have been had they not faced what they faced. art comes from suffering, yes, but the human condition has so much suffering as is, and we’d never know what kind of art they’d make if they hadn’t experienced trauma of a distinctly sadistic and inhuman nature. but maybe their children, raised in a better world with love and protection and safety and joy and creativity and expression, will be the ones to create the art peeta and katniss never could.

[eeve06]

I looooved those headcanons about Jasper and Rose. Do you wanna share more?? If you want! Have an awesome day/night

Yeah, sure. But... Do you mean headcanons about twins or Twilight in general? Never mind, I'll interpret it my way.

Some of my Twilight headcanons, but mainly the Hale Twins, because that's the duo I would die for. I love the found family trope

All vampires ofc, before Bella/before vamp!Bella

To explain their children's athletic builds, the Cullens claim that the kids take extracurricular sports; Alice swims, Edward plays tennis, Emmett plays football (that body type obliges lmao), Jasper plays basketball (another stereotype), and Rosalie plays volleyball. Every few months, Carlisle randomly selects one of his children (mostly boys, because the girls won't agree) and puts a fake cast on their arm or leg, pretending they've been injured.

The Cullens enjoy playing outdoor games. Sneak peek, capture the flag, paintball.

↑ They have a rule that you can't be paired with your life partner (apart from parents, because they're hypocrites, lmao), so the usual pairings are Edward&Alice, Jasper&Rosalie, and poor, lonely Emmett. Later with Bella. Emmett claims that such an arrangement is cheating, and he's saying this because of The Twins, not The Psychic Duo.

↑ Twins just really hate losing.

If Alice isn't around, Jasper follows Rosalie or Esme.

Alice is addicted to shopping. Carlisle tried to put limits on her card, but then she would just take Jasper's or Edward's card.

When Rosalie is mad at Emmett, Jasper comes over with a tub of ice cream, which they don't eat anyway, and they have a "Twins' Night". They talk about how stupid boys are, Jasper lets her paint his nails, they do each other's hair, watch stupid romantic comedies, and sometimes they end up doing some karaoke.

Every time Carlisle and Esme want to have a night to themselves, something has to go wrong - the house is on fire, someone has to pick kids up from the police station. They tried leaving the kids with someone from Denali, but it didn't help at all (thanks Kate)

Once, a school psychologist insisted that Jasper was being beaten at home. That period of time is known in the family as "I SWEAR HE WAS ALREADY LIKE THAT WHEN WE ADOPTED HIM."

↑ Carlisle reflexively says "I swear I'm not abusing him" when someone asks him about Jasper.

Peter was transformed by Jasper, which is why Carlisle and Esme consider him and Charlotte family members.

Peter had been obsessed with Jasper since he was a newborn. He followed him around everywhere, even though he was regularly getting his ass kicked for it. He finally asked Jasper, "What's your name? Everyone calls you Major." — "I don't have a name, I am whatever María wants me to be.". Eventually, Peter got his hands on Jasper's Civil War dog tag and that's how he learned his name. Of course, he couldn't just call him Jasper, so he came up with increasingly stupid nicknames for him like Jay-boy, Jas-boyo, JJ (I recognize Jackson as Jasper's middle name because of Jackson Rathbone, lmao)

Peter has a tiff with squirrels. He once spent all day chasing one around María's camp. He brought dead squirrels to Jasper like a cat and wouldn't leave until Jasper complimented him. He once brought a squirrel to Carlisle to show his respect and gratitude for taking Jasper and Alice in.

↑ All the Cullens see Peter as Jasper's little brother. Peter simply tries to imitate Jasper, but he doesn't always succeed because of his chaotic nature. Emmett sometimes calls Peter "Silly little Jazz"

The reason Jasper doesn't have his own car is because he just likes being the passenger princess too much + He's the only one Rosalie lets drive her Cabriolet

I think that's enough for today. Thanks for the question, have a nice day/night to you too! (I live in GMT+2 for the future lol)

[idyllphile]

thinking about Hector and the ways he abused the younger cousins while they were growing up

in my mind he's an 'I do this because I love you' abuser; he hurts them to make them stronger, to make them into the kind of men who can succeed in the cartel world. given his bad temper and ego I don't doubt there were times he hurt them just because he was angry, but for the most part he probably considered any suffering he put his nephews through to be a necessary evil (but not that evil because it's for their own good, and they're Salamancas, they can take it)

the twins definitely got the worst of it (my headcanon is that their father, Hector's brother, was dead by the time of the drowning flashback and that Hector had sort of stepped in to help their widowed mother raise them) but I think he did a good amount of damage to Tuco as well (I also headcanon Tuco's father, another brother of Hector, being dead for most of his childhood and Tuco being sent to live with Hector during summers as a teen to be trained in the business). the drowning incident was probably a one-off or at least rare (I doubt drowning was a common tactic of Hector's, mostly because it's just not often convenient) but I do absolutely think the abuse was physical as well as emotional

I think Hector would slap them, shove them around, use a belt on them, shout at and belittle them, force them to do something over and over to the point of exhaustion, and take away 'privileges' (basic needs) like sleep, water, and food. all this on top of the fact that their cartel training definitely involved them watching people be hurt and killed and then learning to do it themselves

and throughout all that, I think Hector would also praise his nephews for doing well, for obeying him, for not being scared and not crying. he taught them genuinely useful normal skills (and was more patient/less aggressive because they weren't as important to their future cartel careers). he'd bring them back treats or toys or souvenirs when he traveled, even spoil them in sometimes (especially when someone else was around to see him be such a generous uncle with so much cash to spend). it wasn't always bad; sometimes it was perfectly neutral, and sometimes it was even good

Hector truly feels love for his nephews, in my opinion, and based on their behavior towards him I think Tuco and the twins also feel love, or at the very least honest devotion, in return

the twins come to visit him after his stroke and help transport him at various times in his wheelchair. Tuco was his direct caretaker for a time (though we don't know exactly how long) and acted affectionately/protectively (was extremely upset when he thought Walt and Jesse had done something to Hector, kissed him on the forehead, was willing to give him the bigger portion of food he'd specifically intended for Walt). we never see any indication of hatred or fear of Hector from them as adults, and while the lack of fear could be because Hector's now disabled and cannot hurt them, the fact that they never make any move to hurt him or even just taunt him speaks volumes I think; if they didn't have some genuine positive regard for Hector, I think Tuco at least would have smacked him in the head or kicked at his wheelchair or something when he was high and agitated and annoyed at him in the shack; he's not one to restrain himself when angry, after all

so yeah I just. I'm thinking about the ways Hector hurt them as children and teenagers and young men. how he turned Marco and Leonel into people who barely speak and never separate from each other, who commit acts of extreme violence and show little to no emotion. how he turned Tuco into a person who enjoys hurting anyone who pisses him off, even those he knows are his allies, who's constantly angry and dependent on substances and has convinced himself he can sense lies and see the future. how all three of these people don't ever show any desire to hurt him back, even when he's completely vulnerable and they could do it with no repercussions

what a fucked-up family!

[heretherebedork]

It's Juyeong clinging to Dohoe's father out of a desperation to still find that connection to Dohoe, to find that connection to the man he loved but also to the man who was abusive but who took him in, who beat him but did not leave him on the street or turn other people against him.

It's Dohoe pulling himself away from the brink of violence and escaping the life he most feared, trying to escapes the parts of himself he feared by leaving it all behind and knowing where Juyeong was but also knowing what he was doing and never going back.

It's both of them feeling betrayed and abandoned, both of them alone, both of them fighting the curse of the violence that haunts them. Because they are both haunted, each in their own way, by the violence done to them and the violence they did or almost did.

Juyeong tries to teach children what he learned but with kindness and excitement and joy. He tries to share what he found in taekwondo with them but also to show them kindness and care, to show them that they are worthwhile and worth kindness and tenderness and gentleness, all the things he was never shown except by Dohoe, to show them acceptance.

Dohoe left all of that behind. He saw the potential for violence in himself and pulled away from all of it, turning his back entirely on the concept itself. He made a different life, a different kind of life, one without the violence and without the need to forgive.

(They found joy in sparring but that joy was a small one, born of love that brought greater joy in many places and many ways and that joy is the joy they both lost, that joy of love and acceptance and tenderness and abuse stole that from them, the cycle of pain stole from them what could have been and now they must find a way to free themselves, to escape the curse of violence even the violence that they do to themselves.)

[fallloverfic]

Thoughts on To Be Hero X Episode 10: The Truth Behind Luck

It was a really great episode :3 Made me tear up.

It was off-putting that Crunchyroll initially only released the Japanese dub. Usually there's a handful of dubs to choose from, and I always go with the Chinese dub. This time, for whatever reason, the Chinese dub wasn't available for at least the first 10 minutes or so the episode was out, and I have no idea why. I hope they don't do that next time. The good news is, the Chinese dub was available fast (by at least 30 minutes after premiere), but I almost always watch when the episode premieres at this point, and it's just odd that the Japanese dub launched first.

The opening of the episode reminded me of Cloud 9, a Marvel Comics superhero who premiered during the Avengers Initiative in 2007. Her superpower created a cloud she could fly on, and she was basically kidnapped into joining up with the Initiative and having to learn martial arts and everything else just because she had a special ability. But all she wanted to do was fly. After a while, she got turned into a sniper, which made her really cynical. Things later turned out well for her so far as I'm aware (she found stuff to do that made her happy), but it was so tragic how this kid with a fun ability - one most people wish they had just for the fun of it - got recruited to be a child soldier. I can't see Lucky Cyan being blindsided by "oh yeah your guitar is a bow now and we're going to get you combat training" without thinking of that. She's a girl who just brings good luck and wanted to live a happy life with the people she cares about, she didn't want to fight. China has a draft, but doesn't currently have mandatory military service (like South Korea), and Japan doesn't have a draft at all (enlistment is voluntary), but it's hard not to view what's happening to Lucky Cyan here, given her status as an idol, outside the lens of idols in South Korea having to take time off from their careers for mandatory military service. South Korea isn't conscripting children, but age to serve is 18-35. (Yes, Lucky Cyan would probably be exempt as an orphan, but that's beside the point, it still sucks all around)

The victim blaming stuff is so awful. The Dean blaming Lucky Cyan for his failures as an administrator - and his staff's incompetence, and perhaps a city's administrative failures - is disgusting. Yes, Fear is a power that can take over and make things worse, and maybe that piggybacked on Lucky Cyan's power, but it's such gaslighty bullshit. But I guess, in the end, it's nice to know he seemingly didn't cause that plane to crash. So, abusive monster and user of child labor, yes. Murderer? Thankfully no.

Also no, it is not your fault that someone else doesn't get hired if you get a job. That's typically a country failing its residents if people cannot have a job to support themselves, and often corporations cutting everything to the wire, harming their own workers in the process. The point is obviously to emphasize how ridiculous suddenly everyone is blaming all the bad luck on Lucky Cyan. This was an important aspect of Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, where gossip was shown to essentially blame all ills in existence on the current Most Hated Person just because: people like finding easy targets to blame for all their troubles rather than asking why an orphanage is so underfunded, why so many poisonings are happening (likely due to failing infrastructure not being maintained properly, job cuts, poor job training, corporate bullshit), or why the roads aren't as safe, etc.

It is sad to be proven right that Dean was telling Luo that the plane Lucky Cyan was on also had Luo's parents. Poor kids.

I'm glad Queen was supporting Lucky Cyan! That scene was sweet. Women supporting each other, you love to see it. Especially after Queen got defeated by a "nobody" lol X just coming out of nowhere. I'm sure the theorists are going to go "he beat her so she'd go give Lucky Cyan support" or something.

Lucky Cyan using her powers was a cool bit of visuals, especially the trick with parting the cars. Obviously she's got some great roller-skating skills at this point, and she's an excellent archer, and she's very good at thinking in a pinch. The car thing was neat, though. And the end with her using the marble was extra fun and beautiful.

I'm just curious what Liu Zhen's angle is, exactly. I assume he's hanging around Blonde Guy in part due to Queen's contract. But Liu Zhen is also a reporter. Or does he no longer do that? What benefit does he bring Blonde Guy if he's not reporting other than dating him? Is he secretly rich? Does he have lots of contacts from his reporting days? And why give Dean the only file on the crash? Why not keep a copy for himself? If he did keep a copy of it, was Queen unable to get it? Was Blonde Guy unable to get it? And why? He'd have no reason to keep it from them.

It's just kind of random. Although the way the episode still made Dean and Liu Zhen shippy just ends me lol I was like UP THROUGH THE END YOU GOTTA PUSH THESE TWO lol I love it.

The scene on the plane made me tear up. It was so sad. It's also a lot about humans banding together to support each other. The way they hold hands and don't put on their air masks for some reason to try to lend some last minute support to each other. Like yes, they passed on their hopes to Cyan, but there was no way they could ensure she survived, unless they all just assumed that Trust would be enough to turn their prayers into something that could protect her. They still tried to band together in their last moments. It was sad and beautiful. I don't know that this is meant to evoke things like the tragic fate of United Airlines Flight 93 (different kind of plane disaster, but a disaster all the same), but still.

Luo got to live! He got to be healed! And maybe he'll get to stick around Lucky Cyan, and they can support each other! I really hope so. He could obviously, as demonstrated by Moon, die at some later tragic point, but for now, he's fine! They're so cute together T-T

It's left kind of vague if Luo's ability is Fear or if the force was just present and maybe he and/or Dean used it. Curious what'll come of that. I really hope the Dean got arrested for child abuse.

Curious if Mr. Shang/Shand is still preparing to murder Rock. I guess we'll see :D

Generally, a big part of the episode was believing in people and supporting them, hoping, and human compassion. And I think that's a lovely thing.

Looking forward to Queen's arc in Episode 11!

We got Hero Smile and X in the preview! Exciting times!

More thoughts:

Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6, Episode 7, Episode 8, Episode 9, Episode 10 (You are here), Episode 11, Episode 12, Episode 13

[hauntedselves]

Clinical Formulations of Narcissistic PD

Clinical formulations and case conceptualisations are introduced in this post.

These are all generalisations and theories of how NPD develops, not something that is supposed to be true for everyone with NPD.

Psychodynamic model

Freud suggests parents either overvaluing or neglecting (or both) a child can lead to NPD & especially inability to form healthy, lasting relationships and regulate self-esteem

"In other words, [NPD] is the outcome of insufficient gratification of the normal narcissistic needs of infancy and childhood."

Kohut theorises that narcissists' ability to form a cohesive sense of self and others was developmentally arrested in childhood, resulting in grandiosity & idealising others

"Narcissistic injury" = fragmentation of the self

Kernberg suggests grandiosity & exploitation result from maternal emotional abuse

Grandiosity is an "emotional escape valve"

Grandiosity & entitlement mask the "real self" that is "split off"

The real self unconsciously holds rage, fear, envy, deprivation

Defensive structure is same as BPD but difference is grandiosity

Biosocial model

NPD is primarily the result of environment, especially "parental indulgence and overvaluation, learned exploitive behavior, and only-child status"

Special treatment from caregivers leads children to believe that the "world revolves around them", and therefore they expect the same outside the home

When special treatment outside the home doesn't happen, they "experiment with demanding and exploitive tactics and subsequently develop considerable skill in manipulating others"

"At the same time they come to believe that most others are inferior, weak, and exploitable."

NPD is self-perpetuating through sense of superiority, lack of self control, sense of entitlement, and dismissing of those who reject their world / self-view

Cognitive-Behavioural model

Key feature of NPD is self-aggrandisement

Core beliefs:

> Deserving of special treatment

> Not bound by social norms and rules

Conditional beliefs:

> Others should be punished for not recognising their specialness

> To maintain that special status others should be subservient to them

Instrumental belief:

> Always strive to demonstrate their superiority

> See themselves as special, superior, entitled to special favors and treatment, and vulnerable to loss of status

> View others as inferior but potential admirers

Main pattern of behaviour is "seeking prestige, power, position, and wealth as a way of reinforcing their image of superiority", using "manipulation and guile" if necessary

The primary schema is superior & special (/ entitlement & grandiosity)

> Superior schema "shaped by flattery, indulgence, and favoritism"

> Special schema shaped by "rejection, limitations, exclusion, or deficits"

> Common denominator is the belief that the individual is different in some way

Three subtypes:

> Self-centered impulsive type

> Ruthless impression-management type

> Acceptance-oriented impression-management type

> Each type is centred around an impulse control deficit developed in childhood

> "Specifically, these individuals learned to seek reinforcers without having to work for them. This resulted in their development as self-indulgent, egocentric, and impulsive individuals."

> Ruthless & Acceptance-oriented types focus on creating favourable impressions with others, but struggle with long-lasting healthy relationships because of their empathy deficits

Interpersonal model

People with NPD were raised in an environment of "selfless not contingent" love, leading to insensitivity to others' needs

The caregiver was over-adoring, but there was also a constant threat of a "fall from grace", with pressure to be the perfect child

The constant overbearing love means that any criticism or disappointment hits very hard

"In short, there is extreme vulnerability to criticism or being ignored, together with a strong wish for love, support, and admiration from others. Noncontingent love and presumptive control of others is expected and even demanded. If support is withdrawn, or lack of perfection is evident, the self-concept degrades into severe self-criticism."

Integrative model

People with NPD are hypersensitive

Seen as exceptional children, leading to pressure to perform

As children likely had highly developed speech and interpersonal skills

Life purpose: "I’m special and unique, and I am entitled to extraordinary rights and privileges whether I have earned them or not."

World-view: "Life is a banquet table to be sampled at will. People owe me admiration and privilege."

Goal: "Therefore, I’ll expect and demand this specialness."

Defense mechanisms: rationalisation and projective identification

Parental injunction: "Grow up and be wonderful—for me."

"The illusion of specialness, disdain for others’ views, and a sense of entitlement lead to an underdeveloped sense of social interest and responsibility. This, in turn, leads to increased self-absorption and confirmation of narcissistic beliefs."

- From Sperry, Handbook of Diagnosis and Treatment of DSM-5 Personality Disorders (2016)

[jaimeslayers]

The Things I Do For Love: A Jaime Lannister Analysis 

So much discussion around Jaime revolves around the theme of redemption. What does it mean? Is it possible? How does one redeem themselves? However, another core aspect of what Jaimes character is all about is love, what he will do for it, and how it changes him.

When we first meet Jaime he is the mirror image of Cersei: beautiful, so confident that it is bordering on arrogance, and cruel. This is reflected in their incestuous relationship, one that has lasted since the twins were children. This relationship stems from the idea of Lannister supremacy encouraged and fostered by Tywin. It is through Tywin’s actions such as the extermination of the Reyne and Castamere families that the Lannister siblings learned that anyone who wasn’t a Lannister was inferior and beneath them. It is this sort of lion's pride that lives in each of them, even Tyrion. When it comes to Jaime and Cersei it manifests itself in their incestuous relationship. To them no one else was worthy of themselves, only another Lannister, and who else could they turn to but their identical twin? Through time the twins developed an “us versus them” mentality. That no one else mattered but them. It is this codependency that only grew as they grew up. It is this mentality that is key to understanding Jaime’s own identity.

Due to the belief that they were each other's mirror image, Jaime created an image of Cersei based off of himself. He thinks that Cersei may be a little mean and does some bad stuff but isn’t evil. It is this false image that helps Jaime repress (of which he often does with uncomfortable truths) the fact that Cersei is unnecessarily cruel and abusive towards his beloved little brother Tyrion. It makes it easier for him to love her too. It is this love for his siblings that defines Jaime. While a horrible thing to do, the whole reasoning behind pushing Bran out the window after catching the twins having sex is out of perverse protective love for Cersei. Jaime knows that she and himself will be killed if the truth comes out. While one can argue he also was considering the lives of their children it’s only till Feast that Jaime begins to care about Tommen. This protective nature also manifests itself later in AGOT when Jaime and his men kill Ned’s escort due to Tyrion being kidnapped and being placed under arrest. Yet another morally dubious action done out of love for his siblings. However, it is this love and ego that eventually shatters when Jaime loses his sword hand.

So much of Jaime’s identity revolved around his sword hand. It was the hand he used to kill Aerys and touch Cersei alongside many other things central to his person. By having it cut off Jaime learns that Lannisters can indeed be hurt just like any other person breaking down his image of an invulnerable golden Lannister. Through losing his hand, he is forced to ask himself the questions of who he really is and what that looks like. For a while, he holds onto the love for his siblings, especially his mirror image Cersei. However, it is this image that shatters. For Cersei, she sees that Jaime no longer resembles her and for this she goes cold. This being in direct contrast to Jaime’s idea that the love and codependency that they had created for themselves was unconditional. His relationship with Tyrion also implodes in ASOS with the Tysha reveal. The relationship with the twins further breaks down not simply due to Jaime now knowing of Cersei’s infidelity but also her growing darker nature. It is this that also shatters the mirror image. Cersei is unnecessarily cruel by burning down the Tower of the Hand with wildfire. By comparing her to Aerys, it is clear that Jaime’s image of her being just like him is gone. It is likely she has woken up his trauma that he desperately tries to repress. Jaime learns that her cruelty is not his own despite his prior morally dubious actions. While this relationship breaks down another grows. This being his relationship with Brienne.

In a direct contrast to Jaime and Cersei’s relationship, the dynamic that exists between Jaime and Brienne is based on reality not delusion. Brienne sees the worst in Jaime through his ego and knows of his most horrible acts. She bluntly calls him out on these and judges him for them. On the other hand Jaime insults her and plays on her insecurities. However, it is the loss of his hand that things change for the two. While still not friends directly after the injury, Jaime ensures Brienne is not assaulted after all the abuse both him and her have faced. Upon their arrival at Harrenhal, Jaime makes sure that her wounds are cared for as much as his.  For Brienne she learns the truth behind Jaime’s murder of Aerys. Through this and many other actions such as Jaime rescuing her from the bear and giving her Oathkeeper, she sees that there is some good in the man. On the flip side, Jaime develops one of the first relationships in his life with someone who is not a Lannister. He learns to both see and respect that Brienne is her own person, one that is complicated and does her own thing. It is this what Jaime is becoming. As such, Brienne is not a plot device for Jaime’s development but rather a catalyst. Through her Jaime learns to care about another individual and care deeply.

While we don’t know where Jaime’s story will go just yet. Perhaps he is the Valonqar or maybe he will be killed by Stoneheart. Regardless of where he goes it's clear that love and his falling out of it and arguably his falling into it has greatly defined his arc and who he is.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

so i've seen someone people say this...

and some people even say that...

Catra's redemption is better than Zuko's..

and people here wonder

"why do other redemption arcs get praised while Catra's doesn't?"

i'll just address each screenshot individually.

1st: you don't have to "learn to love" a character. or anyone, for that matter. you can just dislike a character, that's okay. idk why this person is acting like they have no choice but to love catra and support c//a.

idk much about dragonball z but i've heard people complain about vegeta's redemption. it doesn't matter if another character's redemption arc is worse than catra's, that doesn't make catra's arc the best.

2nd: i mean, yeah. that's basically the crux of catra's character. she wants validation and praise, and she hurts people to receive that.

but i don't think she really felt bad for like,, 90% of the things she did. we never see her regretting hurting innocent people in the war and conquering kingdoms. for the most part, there's not much regret in hurting adora either. catra was either sad that adora left or jealous that shadow weaver still prioritized adora. and i trust i don't have to talk about how fake and shoehorned in catra's guilt in s5 was.

the only thing she seemed to feel actually guilty about was hurting scorpia. and even then, she expected scorpia to just forget about all that and talk to her.

yeah, just because it's a children's show doesn't mean it has to be black and white. i agree with that. but spop was very much black and white. if it wasn't, it would have actually addressed catra's actions in s5, instead of going "she said she's sorry, so now everything is okay!" that's the epitome of a black and white morality if i've ever seen one.

3rd: holy— okay. first of all. people don't like zuko's redemption arc because he had a bad childhood or an abusive parent. we like it because we actually see him putting in effort to be a better person. we like it because the writers planned his arc well instead of shoving a forced redemption in the last season.

secondly, i get that many people relate to catra and that's why they tend to be defensive about her. i don't entirely relate to catra but i can understand the feeling of finally seeing someone like yourself on the screen and feeling represented.

i think the problem is that whenever people think about redeemable characters, they immediately think about tragic backstories, sympathetic motivations, years of abuse and torture. but this is not what makes a character redeemable.

any character is redeemable so long as they actually put in effort to change themselves. that's it. that's the only criteria.

so it's not that we don't want to give catra a second chance or that we hate abuse victims, it's just that catra's redemption arc doesn't even meet the basic criteria to be qualified as a redemption arc.

[dorianbrightmusic]

Some Kitakami Sibling Headcanons

These are things I wanna expand on more in fanfic (some of these ideas are gonna get thrown into Festival for False Heroes eventually), but wanted to post in the meantime. TW for discussion of domestic violence/child neglect and abuse.

He and Carmine were born in Mitsralton City, two and a half years apart from each other, and lived there till Carmine was 7 and Kieran almost 5. 

Their parents didn’t exactly have the most stable marriage to begin with. They were both very good trainers, and had a chemistry built on that, but also tended to fight, sometimes violently. They weren’t bad people, but they brought out the worst in each other, and disagreed over how to raise the children, both of whom had substantial issues:

Baby Carmine had a temper, and learned to get attention from watching her parents fight. She broke plenty of porcelain plates even in infancy, and the property damage only got worse from there, as she physically couldn’t control herself when she was distressed. 

Baby Kieran was withdrawn, worryingly so, and didn’t speak or respond to his name. For a few months, the family thought he was deaf – then he heard his first thunderstorm, and the cacophony made him cry. 

The siblings’ mother, Michie, was determined that both kids needed some kind of intervention. Their father, who later became notorious under the pseudonym Colress, was certain that they would be fine in their own time, without external help. Michie won enough that both kids got an autism diagnosis and recommendations for behavioural therapy. Colress won enough that neither kid got to attend said behavioural therapy before he left.

As the kids got older, Carmine got rowdier, and Kieran stayed quiet. Colress knew his son could read and understand language, and parented him by giving him books and encyclopaedias to read that were well beyond any small child’s reading level. Colress liked Kieran, but never had the gumption to really be a father to him. Michie tried to calm Carmine down, but to no avail. She loved her daughter, but didn’t know how to deal with her, so, horribly, forced her to ride out her increasingly frequent meltdowns on her own. Both Carmine and Kieran were much worse off for the way their parents utterly failed to connect with them, and in different ways, they’ve both become terrified of being left alone for it. But Kieran learned to cope by withdrawing into fantasy and mythology, as Colress taught him to, while Carmine learned to drive others away before they could abandon her. They grew equally good at isolating themselves, in different ways, for fear of being isolated.

Michie would often call her parents to express her frustration. When Yukito and Hideko caught wind of the fact she and Colress had been fighting physically as well as verbally over this, and realised how horrendously the kids were being treated, they were furious. They were mortified that their grandchildren would be growing up somewhere so precipitously lonely. A year later, when Colress walked out on the family, Hideko and Yukito flew to Unova to collect the kids, wanting to give them a better home life than Michie, in her stranded and desperate state, could provide. 

Kieran was extremely late to talk – he said his first words maybe a week before Colress walked out. While he understood Galarian, he didn’t get much opportunity to practise speaking it before he and Carmine moved to Kitakami. As such, he, unlike Carmine, had to effectively relearn his mother tongue for his first semester at Blueberry, and it’s left him with a light accent, which he later worked to rid himself of during his breakdown. He never quite managed to eradicate it, and it frustrates him to be proficient, rather than fluent, in his mother tongue.

Carmine and Kieran did tend to fight physically when they were younger – they learned to do so by copying their parents. Yukito and Hideko eventually managed to teach them not to, but while the siblings love each other, by god, their fights are acrimonious. Carmine and Kieran haven’t hit each other in at least 3 years, but that’s barely a starting point.

Kieran has a special interest in mythology generally, and knows every different variation on Kitakamian folklore possible. Moreover, he’s scarily aware of the complexities of broader Johtohnian legends, and can pull a twenty-minute infodump on Celebi out of thin air on cue. Asking him about anything relating to old Hisuian creation myths, or the Pearl and Diamond clans’ different deities, will produce a similar deluge of information. Even Unovan mythology fascinates him immensely, and he’s terrifyingly knowledgeable where Kyurem’s concerned. Ogerpon’s tale was always his favourite, though as it’s the one he’d escape into when he felt unseen. 

Part of why Amarys and Carmine get on is that Amarys, despite her need to economise time, is incredibly patient with Carmine. The result is that when Carmine had one of her sporadic meltdowns and lost control of her actions, when Amarys witnessed it, she didn’t question it or scold her, but took her somewhere quiet, and waited it out with her. Carmine feels incredibly grateful to Amarys for that, and as such, she doesn’t feel she needs to be defensive around her so much as she does around others. 

Carmine always has a huge supply of snacks hidden in her room, and she insists on sharing them with Amarys. She tried to share them with Kieran during his breakdown, but he refused to touch them, which was a sign of something being very, very wrong.

Carmine gets surprisingly homesick when she’s at Blueberry, and has been known to call her grandparents at 3am Unova time because she needs company, and doesn’t know where else to reach out. Occasionally, if she still feels awful, or if she feels she can’t call them for whatever reason, she’ll go to Amarys’ room and just sit with her, maybe making conversation, maybe just being there, proving she isn’t alone.

During his breakdown, Kieran tended to train in the Canyon Biome when he couldn’t sleep. Juliana once found him there at 1 in the morning, as she gets horrid insomnia, and tends to explore her surroundings so she can escape the dread of watching the ceiling. While Kieran ostensibly hated her at this point, as this was prior to the championship match, he reluctantly let her roll out a picnic table and make him a sandwich. He scarcely ate any of it, but he appreciated her company, not that he’d be caught dead admitting as much. (He insisted on cleaning up and walking her back to the dorms. Ostensibly, he still hated her, but…)

Carmine and Kieran use their grandfather’s surname in most things, but legally, their surname is Achroma. 

Their mother is still in their life here and there – she meets up with the two of them, and is proud of them both for making it this far, but Carmine remembers how poorly her mother understood her, and tends to get oddly quiet around her nowadays, hoping she’ll approve slightly more now. Kieran gets on horribly with his mother, in that she clearly neither likes him nor understands him, and he feels downright betrayed by her.

Their father is mostly absent, but has, on a couple of occasions, randomly sent books and gadgets to BB Academy, with these books and gadgets all dedicated To Carmine/Kieran – keep working hard!. He knows they’re enrolled there, which means he’s gone out of the way to find that out. The siblings know, vaguely, that he’s out there. Carmine is outwardly resentful of his absence, but secretly wishes she could meet him. Kieran’s bitter, but curious about his father.

Carmine got the mobile phone in the family in part because Kieran tends to hog the home desktop back in Mossui. As of second year, Kieran’s grandparents have yielded and given him a phone, too, so that if he starts to break down again (God forbid), they can contact him directly, instead of having to go through Carmine/the school. He does have an Instagram, and he refuses to accept Carmine’s follow request. 

When Kieran went back to Blueberry after his breakdown, he noticed that the notorious Colress of Team Plasma had a bit of an internet paper trail. Late at night, Kieran would follow this paper trail, working out over the course of weeks that Colress may well be one Mr. Achroma. This prompted mixed feelings, for while Kieran was terrified of his potential to go mad in the pursuit of power again, he couldn’t help but think that his dad, deadbeat and thrice-convicted criminal that he was, was at least a little bit cool.

On a forum where Colress was still periodically active, Kieran managed to reach out and politely ask about his research on strength. He did this half out of genuine curiosity about how to get better as a trainer, half as a way of screaming into the void – are you out there, Dad, and can you hear me?

Unbelievably, Colress responded. Since he’d been able to tell that the message was sent by a kid or teen, but a smart kid or teen who’d clearly actually read his work and gone to the trouble of finding him, he felt impressed enough not to be worried. (To be fair, Colress is incredibly laissez-faire about most things except his research.) As a result, they now correspond periodically. So far, Kieran’s let slip that he’s at Blueberry Academy, and that he’s a second-year, as well as mentioning once that he’s from Kitakami. He does not know whether Colress has connected the dots, but every day, he hopes he will, somehow, and that if/when he does, he’ll show that he still cares (if he ever did at all. And how Kieran hopes Colress did, indeed, care).

Carmine knows about this correspondence. She’s scolded Kieran for it, but she also insists on staying updated on what’s going on. 

Someday, Kieran wants to battle in the PWT. When he gets to that point, he’ll register himself as Kieran Colress, and won’t tell a soul (except Juliana or Amarys) why he’d dare draw his stage name from a notorious amoral scientist.

[yourfathersnapkin]

Shitilly explaining Lilith placements

I believe each sign she is placed in in a chart shows what part of her you have or are most connected to. This is also a devotional act to Lilith.

Lilith in Aries, the first house, or in aspect to Mars.

You are connected to her wrath, her liberation of self, her desire to be on top. If you have Lilith in the first house you embody her a bit, and may feel as though you connect with her myth in some way or another. You may have felt shame for your identity in some way. I say you can honor this placement by accepting your flaws, and embracing the power you can get from accepting yourself and your wrath.

Lilith in Taurus, in the second house, or in aspect to Venus.

This is Lilith's form of wanting more, and getting Eve to bite the Apple.

You may have felt a lot of shame for the way you ate, enjoyed luxuries, or even your art. People could have shamed you for things relating to your wealth, and security. Try to embrace the things you enjoy without shame, try to live in that sensuality that was made into shame for you. This will empower you.

Lilith in Gemini, the third house, or in Aspect to Mercury

Were you told as a child that you had a mouth on you? Did you feel that you were too outspoken and needed to keep the peace because of how vocal you were about your needs? This is the part of Lilith that speaks her mind even if it makes other people uncomfortable.

Lilith here can show shame around communication style. Did you get shamed for your mother tongue or the language you learned? Did people tell you were a smartass or know it all when all you were doing was being curious? Was your curiosity shamed? Empower yourself by knowing your power is in your mind and rolls off your tongue. Be the person who speaks up when others won't. Show other people your thoughts and ideas matter.

Lilith in Cancer, in the fourth house, or in aspect to the moon.

This is the Lilith that eats children. This is the Lilith that had her children killed.

There may be shame in this placement around your family, or you could have fertility issues. The archetype of Lilith eating her children may have been the rage you felt being the black sheep of your family. You may have felt you weren't valued in your family, or you felt as though you disrupted it in some way, or your parents could have been abusive. Empower yourself by not apologizing for the pain family members or a mother could have inflicted upon you. And if you have fertility issues, realize it doesn't make you any less than anyone else, and that you have value as a person no matter what your family background was.

Lilith in Leo, the fifth house, or in aspect to the sun.

This is the Lilith that is shamed for her existence, her audacity to be herself.

Lilith in Leo people probably felt as though when they tried to establish their importance they were called narcissistic, or egotistical even if they were just loving themselves. They might have done child acting and maybe felt as though they didn't fit into that setting because its a source of shame for them. There also may be shame around what they enjoy, or their creative side. A way to take back your power is to embrace those Leo qualities of confidence and being in the spotlight without dimming it for other people.

Lilith in Virgo, the sixth, or in aspect to Mercury.

There may be health problems that cause others to discard them, a hatred for routines because of a deep need to break away from such a forced way of living, or possibly being shamed for being "unclean" as a child because of the home environment they grew up in. Because the sixth house was traditionally about slaves, and also livestock, they may have wounds or shame around a family history of slavery.

I think the best way to take back your power as Lilith here is to learn to break away from the shame here. (Like the rest of the Lilith placements.) I have my asteroid Lilith here and I've always hated cleaning because of trauma surrounding it. I was also forced to clean excessively as a child things I shouldn't have been cleaning like (warning graphic) dead animals and other stuff I won't mention. My home environment was also very unclean and I was called disgusting all the time, and the way I empower myself is by realizing that it wasn't my fault, and that I need to be patient with myself when it comes to cleaning and hygiene because of my trauma surrounding it.

Lilith in Libra, the seventh house, or in aspect to Venus.

I feel like there's shame around how you saw beauty, the types of people you had feelings for, and possibly sexuality. You might also feel as though you were ugly, or you had something about you that didn't fit in society's ideas of beauty. One on one relationships may be a sore spot for you, especially romantic ones.

I think what would help is accepting that beauty is both subjective, and not an obligation. And try to find beauty in yourself. Also if you were abused by a partner know that it wasn't your fault, and it's not a reflection of your self worth based on how they treated you.

Also side not your partners may be literal witches because Lilith is associated with Witchcraft.

Lilith in Scorpio, the Eighth house, or in aspect to Pluto or Mars.

This is the epitome of Lilith energy. You probably feel shame for your sexuality, or you might literally be a witch and or have family members who practice it and felt shame for it growing up.

One thing i'll say: You don't owe people comfort especially if they fuck you over.

Lilith in Sagittarius, the Ninth house, or in aspect to Jupiter

Shame around education, or literally wishing for better education. You may also have humor people either don't understand, or extremely dark humor where people go "oh, that's uhm...." You might also have a philosophy that people just don't agree with.

Sometimes the popular opinion isn't the right opinion.

Lilith in Capricorn, Lilith in the tenth house, Lilith in aspect to Saturn

Imposter syndrome, not getting recognized for your achievement, feeling like the black sheep in the workplace.

I have this placement with my true Lilith and I feel like I'm some kind of evil business person whenever I want to start something. I also relate to Marina in the Diamonds "Oh no!"

I did however feel like I had to fight people when I wanted to get ahead, and honestly that's just not...

I somehow don't have much to say for my own placement. I'm sorry.

Lilith in Aquarius, the eleventh house, or in aspect to Uranus or Saturn.

Feeling like a societal exile, feeling like an outcast everywhere.

I have this placement as well, and I genuinely feel like i'll never fit in, and I've been left out of groups CONSTANTLY. I never fit into any group, even when with friends I'm always left out. This placement can also speak to shame with being trans, gay or just part of the queer community on general.

Lilith in Pisces, Lilith in the twelfth, Lilith in Aspect to Neptune or Jupiter

I feel like (I'm probably wrong on this bit) that since this placement is in the twelfth, the house of the unknown, that the person may feel as though they're not a rebel in anything, and may try to cover up any feelings of Lilith related themes.

The stuff they do feel shame seem to include:

Religion, spirituality, and I've seen some of them literally feel like existence is meaningless. They also seem to be good at luring people into the deep waters of their own soul. I know this is vague as fuck I'm so sorry.

[cosmicmatter]

Types of Triggers

Following you will find an explanation of different types of triggers.

Time-related triggers. 

You may have heard of “anniversary reactions,” in which a person has a predictable and involuntary reaction on or around the anniversary of a traumatizing event. This experience is most well known in people who have intense grief reactions each year around the anniversary of the loss of a loved one. But anniversary reactions may be evoked for a wide variety of other events. At first, you may not recognize an anniversary reaction, but you or your therapist may begin to notice that you, for instance, become depressed, or very anxious, or feel suicidal around the same time each year, time after time. 

Time-related triggers may also involve a time of day or a particular period of time, such as weekends or holidays (see also chapter 16). For example,  some traumatized people may become increasingly fearful and anxious as it becomes dark each evening, related to overwhelming experiences that may have occurred around that time.

Place-related triggers. 

Many people find it hard to return to places where they were abused or had other highly distressing experiences. This avoidance can generalize to other places that remind them of the original situation, prompting them to evade more places and experiences to prevent triggering. For example, if a person had been robbed or assaulted on a bus, he or she might be inclined to avoid all busses. And eventually, this person may come to avoid any public transportation, including trains, trams, and planes. 

Many traumatized people regularly report that they are upset or overwhelmed by crowded spaces, such as shopping malls, long checkout lines, or crowded waiting rooms. Their aversion often has nothing to do with a traumatic memory, but rather they feel overstimulated and trapped, which may be similar to inner experiences they felt during traumatic events in the past. Even though some parts may be triggered by certain places, other parts may not be; they may even enjoy, for example, riding in the train or flying, or being at the mall. These contradictory experiences may set up internal conflicts, because some parts may dismiss or even be unaware that a trigger is problematic for other parts.

Relational triggers. 

Relationships themselves are often triggers. Relationships and any perceived threat to them evoke the most powerful feelings in everyone, for better or worse. When you have been mistreated by others, intense feelings of abandonment, rejection, humiliation, shame, panic, yearning, and rage are often easily triggered by the minor ups and downs that are a natural part of even the best of relationships. And when a serious relational disruption occurs, it can feel catastrophic. Some parts of you may always be on guard, looking out for any cues that perhaps you are being rejected or criticized, and thus they may overlook important cues to the contrary. Others may desperately seek out relationships, not attending to whether they are healthy (see chapters 28 and 29 for more about relationships). Many patients with complex dissociative disorders rightly felt criticized, lonely, and misunderstood as children. Anger or critical remarks by a partner or a friend in the present may quickly give rise to a partial reliving of old experiences, such as intense fear of being abandoned or misunderstood, or fear that you cannot speak your mind without terrible consequences.

Internal triggers.

People who have a dissociative disorder have typically learned to avoid much of their inner experience in order to avoid traumatic memories (see chapter 5). Any inner experience may be triggering, such as the sound of another part talking or yelling, certain emotions (anxiety, anger or shame, and so forth), sensations (such as pain, sweating), needs (such as wanting to be comforted), or thoughts (such as “I wish I was dead” or “I am not happy in this relationship”). Some parts may even provoke other parts as an internal reenactment of old experiences. For example, a highly critical part might scream that you are stupid when you are trying your best to cope with a difficult problem at work. This inner experience may be quite similar to some you may have had as a child. 

Sensory triggers. 

Body sensations are a particular type of internal trigger. These may resemble similar sensations that occurred around the time of a traumatizing event. Smells are particularly potent triggers. Other sensations include pain, the racing heart and breathlessness of anxiety, feeling too hot or cold, nausea, thirst, hunger, stomachache, the need to eliminate, or even certain body postures. Some women may be triggered by the sensations that accompany menstruation. The sense of being touched by another person may be especially triggering from some individuals.

Triggers for Positive Experiences

Triggers are usually thought of as negative, but some triggers evoke positive feelings and memories. For example, looking at pictures of a nice holiday that you enjoyed, the smell or taste of a specific food, or particular music may all evoke positive memories and feelings of contentment or warmth. Positive triggers are important because they can help you find some enjoyment and calmness in the present. In fact, your personal anchors are positive triggers that help you stay in the present.

Coping With Trauma Related Dissociation

[yukidragon]

if Alice, with Jack being motivation for them, finds confidence to return to the arts and finds a positive team of theater and musical group and she is more famous being unapologetically themselves

That sounds like a lovely idea. Honestly, this is one of the paths I'm likely taking for Sunshine in Hell. Jack is going to help Alice in her healing journey and vice-versa.

Content Warning: This post discusses toxic relationships, codependence, and other such unhealthy mindsets found in a story about yanderes.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

Childhood Friends and Co-Stars

Currently Alice is in a bit of a transitional period of her life, unsure of where she wants to go and feeling stuck. She had various dreams as a child, but somewhere along the way she let those dreams fall by the wayside. So much of her time and energy has been spent for the sake of those she loves, rather than for herself.

As the oldest child in a big family, Alice has had so much responsibility to care for her siblings. She learned to hold back on things she wanted for their sake. She also learned when she needed to be proactive to do things they were hesitant to do.

However, even more than that, her childhood friend needed her help so much. The more Alice helped Ian, the more she saw just how much he needed that help. As they got closer, she learned of all the abuse he went through at the hands of his mother, and how it made him feel shame for wanting anything for himself.

Ian had dreams that he was too afraid to pursue. He felt certain that he could never achieve them. His mother, Karen, beat into him how selfish and sinful he was, so he struggled with feeling like he was worthy of anything he wanted.

Alice went out of her way to help Ian ever since they were kids. She encouraged him to do things he wanted and to speak out for himself more. Whenever there was a school play in high school, she saw the way he looked longingly at the casting call, but lacked the courage to sign up for it. She would then act extra excited about the idea of joining before signing up for the audition and encouraging him to do the same.

The prospect of standing before a crowd when suffering from shyness was scary, but it was a lot easier when doing it with your best friend.

Ian was so insecure about whether or not he would do a good job, so they would practice line reads together every chance they got. The two of them honed their acting skills together and were very good at it. Alice helped him relax and focus on the part they were playing rather than the audience's opinions. Their rehearsals became like the play games of pretend as children, acting out fantastical scenarios. Adlibbing to tease each other and play around with the roles also helped them get into character.

Ian and Alice both struggled with shyness, being the center of attention, and bullying while growing up. Alice was able to overcome worrying about what other people think of her when it's for the sake of someone she loves, whether that be Ian or her family. Being able to overcome the issues "more easily" than he did was just another reason why Ian admired Alice so much.

Unfortunately, it wasn't actually easier for Alice. Going on stage didn't help her escape the snickers behind her back or the insults to her face. It just got her more attention, which is why she faced a number of unpleasant incidents in school, including a "friend" pretending to ask her out, only to reveal it was only a prank they filmed for DingDong (the TikTok-esque app of this world).

The comments that video got certainly didn't help her self-esteem.

Despite this, Alice did find things to enjoy about performing. She lost herself in the role and the story being told. It helped her learn how be more outspoken and better communicate with others. She improved her vocal range, being able to do voices better, and even sing well enough to get a leading role in a musical. Her fellow actors were generally nice and fun, save for the occasional jealous diva.

It was mostly off-stage that was the problem.

When they were in college, that's when things got more serious. Suddenly they were choosing to study things that would decide their futures. They had to take childhood dreams and make them into tangible realities that would pay the bills.

Were the good parts of acting enough to offset the bad? Would Alice really be happy doing this for the rest of her life?

A good teacher can help bring out a student's potential, and a bad teacher can snuff out the love they have for a subject. This is especially true if they judge you by different standards than the other students or outright discourage you from continuing because they're "worried" about you.

The performing arts professor in their first year of college had favorites in their class, and Ian was one of them. They saw so much potential in him to become a bright shining star on stage. He just had to get better at masking overcoming his insecurities. And maybe take care of his appearance a bit more.

The professor saw no potential in Alice except to be used. They didn't look past her gender and body shape. It didn't matter that she had a lovely singing voice, that she worked so hard, tried her best to get along with others, and was a good student. Because of her appearance, she would be forced to work harder than her peers who were more conventionally attractive.

Her best was never good enough in their eyes, not for them and not for the harsh world of acting.

The talk Alice and the professor had in private was crushing. The professor was showing "tough love" to Alice by "telling her like it is" and being "brutally honest" with her. They didn't sugar-coat anything, but coated their words with bile instead. There's no shortage of horror stories of terrible things that have happened to actors in the entertainment industry that went beyond awful comments online. This is especially true for women in the entertainment industry, regardless of their appearance.

The professor meant well, but was needlessly cruel in discouraging Alice from pursuing this dream.

Alice might have been able to dismiss the professor as "just another shitty teacher" if not for Ian. Under this professor's teachings, he truly flourished as an actor. He bloomed in a way he hadn't during high school even with all her encouragement. He got the lead part in the big performance for the semester and shone brightly like a star.

When Alice initially vented her frustrations about the professor going hard on her, Ian internalized her negative comments as something he did wrong. Ian really, really liked the teacher and they were so encouraging... Did that make him a bad person for liking someone like that? Did it make him a bad partner?

Wouldn't it also make Ian ungrateful if he didn't defend the professor that helped him so much? Alice wasn't lying, he would never say that, but maybe she was mistaken? It might just seem unfair because the professor was, as they said, just being brutally honest. There are different perspectives for everyone after all. The professor was so nice and just trying to help... They're a good person, and it felt like Ian was betraying them if he said otherwise.

With conflicts like this between people Ian likes, he defaulted to wondering if he was the one who was in the wrong. It's what he was raised to believe after all. According to Karen he was always, always wrong.

Alice soon learned to hold back on criticizing the professor. She hated upsetting Ian and didn't want him to feel guilty for liking their professor when she didn't. She didn't want him beating himself up over something he didn't do. It wasn't his fault.

Ian was so used to accepting everything as his fault that it was hard to convince him otherwise. Alice learned to be careful with what she said around him. Over time, she stopped saying anything was wrong in her life at all. It was less stressful for both of them.

Ian made so much progress in standing on his own two feet. Alice wanted to encourage that progress, not hinder it. She just had to be more careful not to trigger his trauma.

Ian's positive experiences with the professor, as well as those from many of her classmates, also planted doubts in her mind. These doubts only grew stronger the more her boyfriend blossomed in the class.

The professor was so kind and supportive to Ian and others. Their classes were fun when they weren't infuriatingly unfair for her. Was the professor going hard on her intentionally, or was that a sincere attempt to bring out her potential? They said they were going to push the students to their limits in their class. They did criticize her in an effort to help her get better. Maybe her instincts telling her that something wasn't right were wrong?

Maybe the professor really was right all along.

Alice didn't tell Ian the full details of her private conversation with their teacher. He knew that she had to stay after class to talk with them, and he did ask her about it later, but just smiled and said the professor was giving her guidance.

Ian did notice Alice being more "spacy" than usual for a while and she seemed checked out during the next classes. When she told him that she didn't think acting was for her, he thought that was the reason.

That was okay that Alice wanted to quit. Ian felt sad about it since they wouldn't be sharing acting classes anymore, but what kind of boyfriend would he be if he didn't support his partner's dreams? She always supported his after all.

Besides, Alice was still her usual sweet, supportive, silly self around Ian. There was no reason for him to think anything was wrong when she always managed to give him a smile.

A true actor knows how to hide their real emotions when putting on a performance.

Acting hadn't actually been the biggest dream Alice had as a kid. She had many dreams that she was interested in, some even more than being an actor. She learned to find joy in this particular dream and had discarded other dreams to pursue it.

Letting this dream die left Alice adrift. She gave up other possibilities for this one dream of becoming an actress alongside her partner. They were still together and Ian was still chasing that dream, but it seemed that dream was never meant to be hers.

So then... where did Alice go from here?

Learning to Let Go

Alice bounced around different classes and degree tracks, trying to find her bearings. There were other things that interested her, things she had fun entertaining in the past...

But could she really handle these different dreams? Alice had tried so hard and had given so much of herself to become an actor, only to learn that it was an impossible dream from the start.

What if these dreams were just as out of her reach, only she just didn't know it yet?

Alice didn't want to go through that again, but she knew that she had to find something. The capitalist society she lived in demanded that she choose a profession. So much money was sunk into college classes to get her that degree that would be vital for whatever career she would be stuck in for the rest of her life. Her very future depended on this.

And Alice couldn't talk about this with anyone. Not too deeply at least. Ian couldn't handle the weight of such worries. It didn't feel right to talk about it with her other friends when she wouldn't tell her own partner. Ian isn't just her partner but her best friend! They used to tell each other just about everything.

Ian had come so far... Alice couldn't hold him back... not when his mother was still actively trying to do so. Even now, Karen was still trying to crush her son's dreams.

Alice could confide in her family, at least to some extent. It was just small things though and not the whole scope of what she was struggling with. She didn't want to seem ungrateful to her parents after they invested so much money into her classes. Money was always stretched so thin in a big family and they saved up for her college since before she was born. She didn't want to accidentally discourage or intimidate her younger sisters when they started their own college classes. She had to be responsible as the oldest child after all.

So Alice kept her burdens to herself. She could shoulder them on her own. It wasn't fair to let others bear that weight.

She knew how crushing the weight of responsibility was when other people needed the strength of her support to stay standing.

I'm suddenly reminded of Surface Pressure from Enchanto. Maybe I should add that song or Anna's cover of it to Alice's playlist.

Really, these sort of pressures from her former partner and family are why Alice is living on her own in the present day. She knows she could go back to her childhood home at any time. She's always welcome there.

But Alice doesn't want to be a burden. Moving back home would be admitting failure. Money is tight for her family. It's tight for everyone. The best thing she could do for them and herself is to just keep standing on her own two feet.

Besides... maybe it's best that she learns how to take care of just herself on her own.

It was so hard on Alice when Ian moved away. She was so clingy to someone living across the country and busy making the dream he always wished for come true. She felt like a burden to him when all of her messages took so long to get answered.

And, really, that's part of what gave Alice the strength to move on. She learned that this sort of codependency between them was unhealthy. She and Ian needed to learn how to be their own person. Ian flourished on his own. He didn't need her as much as he thought he did.

Or as much as Alice always convinced herself that he did.

Alice has been spending time on a lot of introspection since the breakup. So much of her life was spent taking care of Ian. She did far more for him than even her family. She sacrificed so much. Even her dream of becoming an actor were ultimately because of him.

This isn't healthy, and Alice understands that now. She's learning to detach herself from Ian and all of his influence on her life. He's taken up so much space in her heart. She let taking care of him shape her, make her smaller. She made herself into someone who could uplift and support him.

Now Alice needs to support herself... and that means finding out who she is and what she really wants for herself.

There are so many things Alice likes and dislikes that have been influenced by Ian. He was always afraid that he was losing her when she spent too much time with friends or a hobby that he wasn't interested in. To alleviate his fears and insecurities, she most often focused on the joys that they could experience together.

Alice did genuinely enjoy acting. She's always loved playing pretend and acting out stories she enjoyed, even before she and Ian became friends. She would play such games with her younger siblings and stuffed animals all the time.

Alice still thinks about acting sometimes. She was good at it, and she knew it.

But how much of her love of acting came from her own passion for it? How much was because it was something she and Ian could do together?

Without Ian, could Alice find joy in acting again? Or would it just bring back painful memories like everything else that reminds her of him?

These are things Alice has been asking herself in the present day. Her job at Popov’s Big Top Yogurt-Topia is a placeholder job. It's something she can do to get money now when she needs it. It's not a dream she wants to pursue. She doesn't want to be there for even a year, let alone forever.

Her job at the library was better, but does Alice really want that to be her future? Can she be happy as a librarian? Sure she liked the job, but it wasn't something she was really passionate about.

Alice feels stuck. She's felt stuck ever since she gave up on acting, and it's only gotten worse since the breakup. She held herself back for so many reasons, usually influenced by other people. She wound up graduating with a general education degree after jumping around different possible majors without finding what she was passionate about.

The future is here, and Alice feels like she failed the ultimate test. She was supposed to have a career by this point, one she would find rewarding even might be hard, but instead she has an embarrassing placeholder job that works her to the bone. She's living alone with little time and energy left to spend seeking out connections with others, leaving her so lonely.

Alice doesn't regret what she did to help Ian grow, but she does miss that feeling of hope that she had as a child. She gave up so much of herself for him that she didn't leave enough leftover for herself. She thought that she could become anything if she just put her mind to it, and she tried so hard...

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" It's a question all kids get asked, and Alice is still asking herself that. What does she want to be now? All of her dreams and thoughts of who she wanted to be have been broken, either by the world sabotaging it or by learning that it was unhealthy for her in the end.

For as long as Alice could remember, the future she dreamed of always had Ian in it. She thought that one day they would get married, have kids, and be happy together. She thought that they could have the type of happily ever after that her parents found in each other. Ambrose and Lycoris were childhood friends too after all.

Ian still wants that. Alice knows that they could still have a future together... but she knows she shouldn't. It's a dream still technically in her reach, but she knows now that it won't make her happy.

Acting is something Alice thought she could find happiness in too. Now her feelings for it are all muddled and confusing. Was it a dream that was just as unhealthy as the one where she and Ian could be happy as a couple? He played such a huge part in her having both those dreams.

How much of her dreams are tainted by the toxicity of their relationship?

Ian still calling Alice just makes it that much harder for her to separate herself from him. He keeps creeping into her thoughts, influencing her decisions, making her feel so guilty for wanting something that has nothing to do with him.

Alice always tried so hard not to grow apart from Ian, to the point that she stifled her own growth. Now, she's trying to untangle herself from him to find where he ends and she truly begins... but he just can't stop clinging to her.

Ian acts as a creeping vine, swearing that he needs her support to grow and flourish. He doesn't see that he could stand wholly on his own to seek his own sunlight. He doesn't want to.

The cheating happened because Ian started to find himself. He started growing as his own person, separate from Alice... He found desires and parts of himself that had nothing to do with her... but he didn't like how twisted his branches became. Once he started unleashing his true desires, things came out that he can't accept about himself. So he's trying to go back to what he knows, what's safe.

Encouraging Growth

When Jack comes into the picture, he does his absolute best to encourage Alice to rely on him more. She resists, not wanting to be a burden on him or to have another unhealthy relationship where she loses herself in the process of loving someone.

Alice has been trying so hard to figure out who she really is and what she truly wants.

Jack doesn't want to stifle her growth. Alice shines so brightly. It's a crime that the world keeps dimming that beautiful glow of hers. It hurts him to see how much of herself she still keeps restricted and suppressed. He wants to do all he can to encourage her to be unapologetically herself because no one has the right to shame or deny her what she truly wants or loves.

It takes a while for Alice to heal, and Jack comes a long way in helping her. For as much as she hesitates to burden him with anything, he is always so reliable. She learns that she can speak her mind to admit things that she was always afraid to. He doesn't buckle under the weight, but understands it.

Jack doesn't want Alice to see him as anything less than perfect, but he has moments where the mask slips. It's the same for Alice, really. She tries to present herself as strong, independent, and reliable.

It's when the cracks show in their weaker moments that they find understanding and support from each other. Alice and Jack are so afraid of not being the best version of themselves for the people they love. It's something they can both understand and help each other with when they learn bit by bit to let their masks slip.

When Alice had moments of being petty, frustrated, or sad, Ian would redirect those negative emotions as being due to him. It's what Karen taught him, as she taught him time and time again that everything bad that happened in her life was his fault for one reason or another. Alice couldn't stand to make Ian relive his trauma and be miserable because she couldn't handle her own problems.

In a way, Alice was punished every time she expressed some form of frustration or hurt.

Likewise Jack learned to mask or banish any part of himself that wasn't as squeaky clean as Sunny Day Jack. Joseph made countless mistakes, and those sins caught up to him, robbed him of happiness and love so many times...

As Jack, he had to mask all the time, always be in character once the makeup was on, but it was a fair trade. He was loved by so many. He achieved his dreams and gained so, so much. He couldn't afford to lose sight of his character and let the colorful clown makeup get washed away.

Alice flinches and worries that she might be hurting someone she cares about when she slips up with her mask. Jack starts to panic that he's going to lose everything when his mask slips.

It's in these moments of fear that the other is there to offer comfort and reassurance.

Jack doesn't redirect Alice's hurt and upset to himself. Alice comforts Jack and gently encourages him when he's less than his best.

These moments mean the world to these two broken souls. Over time they learn how to stop masking and how to start being themselves.

Understandably it takes Jack a bit longer to find himself than it does Alice, but they help each other a lot.

Jack helps encourage Alice to find what she loves. She enjoys listening to him ramble about SunnyTime Crew lore and gushing about whatever TV show or movie they watched together. She finds she has fun acting out scenes with him just for the sake of being silly and playful.

Acting, playing pretend... it's something that Alice always found joy in, and thanks to Jack she finds so many parts of herself that she let die over time.

So, yes, like you suggested with the ask, Jack is going to help Alice rediscover her love for the arts. She learns to let loose and be herself again and finally know who that is. It's only after she really finds herself that she discovers that she's fallen in love with him.

Still, even when Alice rediscovers a love of acting, singing, creating art, and such, she still isn't sure about trying again with an acting career. Though Jack encourages her to consider it, he doesn't push her. If she's not ready, or if she wants to do something else right now, then she should.

The pressures of what the world expects from her don't matter. What matters is that Alice is true to herself and what will make her happy.

Acting Out

I can't find the exact post among my headcanon ramblings right now, but I'm pretty sure I mentioned a while ago that I plan to have Alice act in one of Shaun's movies. It'll be his first big show after moving back to the area, and he wrote the part with her in mind. Jack will also play a part in the movie as a member of the special effects team.

I mean, really how can Shaun pass up the idea of having a real live(?) ghost(??) in his horror movie? It's the opportunity of a lifetime just for that reason alone! Jack can also be super useful with his powers. He can move stuff around without being seen, there'll be no wires, CGI, or green screen when he makes things float, particularly the lead actress.

It's also possible that Jack's powers have strengthened by this point thanks to Alice's love and belief in him. Maybe with if they fill each other with enough love might even be able to appear on camera too, at least as a spooky glitch effect.

However, it's going to take Shaun some time to get settled after the move and set up an entire movie shoot. It's possible that someone else could offer Alice an acting role first. Though unfortunately Jack isn't going to be as excited for this production...

Wouldn't it be so hard on Jack if Alice got the part in the SunnyTime Crew Show reboot, the totally new and original show that's never been seen on TV before? Ian got the lead role as Sunny Day Jack, and he's been learning to pull strings in the industry. What better way to make up for what he's done to his ex than by offering her the chance of a lifetime?

The worst part is Alice has many reasons to accept the role, even if it means working with Ian.

Money is tight, and the pay LambsWork Productions (or whatever they call themselves in the modern day) is no joke. It could solve so many of Alice's problems and leave enough leftover for her to send home to her family.

Plus, this is a once in a lifetime offer. Alice is a nobody in acting circles, a total unknown. Ian pulled a lot of strings to get her this opportunity. If she turns it down, she'll never have this chance again. She'll have to live with the question of "what if?" for the rest of her life...

Alice finally relearned her love for acting. She finally wanted to pursue that dream for herself. Turning down this opportunity would be so hard on her...

Then there's the aspect of Jack. When Alice learns that Ian is playing the part of Sunny Day Jack, it's going to be a shock to them both. It's their first real lead about Jack and the SunnyTime Crew Show. Alice scoured the internet since he first appeared, but she never found anything, but there was nothing. Now she actually has a chance to learn more about Jack, the real Jack, and how he and the tape wound up in her life.

Maybe if Alice takes the role, she could finally learn about the old SunnyTime Crew Show. Maybe she can find out what happened to it and how Jack wound up the way he is. Maybe if she understands more of how he got into this situation, then maybe she can help him live a more normal life.

Alice understands how lonely it must be for Jack to only have her as true company. She knows that letting him remain isolated like that is unhealthy, and it'll only taint their relationship. He needs the freedom to be able to interact with other people and really live in this world.

Alice also needs to know that if Jack is choosing to be with her because he loves her and not because he has no other option.

Ian thought he had no other choice but Alice, then wound up cheating on her. She doesn't want history to repeat itself with her new relationship... and she doesn't want Jack to cling to her out of desperation.

Alice wants a partner who could choose anyone in the world, but still chooses her every single time.

Alice might not know that Jack is yandere for her, but she has a clearer perspective on unhealthy codependent relationships now. She never thought she could find love again, so this time she wants to do things right. She wants it to be good for both of them.

So, with these three very good reasons, it's going to be practically impossible for Alice to refuse the opportunity.

It'll be okay though, Alice tells herself. She's gotten better. Thinking about and talking to Ian doesn't hurt like it used to. She's moved on. She's in a new relationship. She's so, so much happier with Jack than she's ever been before. She can handle this.

Maybe that's another reason to take the job. If Alice can handle working with Ian, then she can finally prove that she's fully let go of all those painful feelings of nostalgia holding her back. If she can get through this, she'll be so much stronger than she ever thought she could be.

Of course, Jack is going to have a lot of strong feelings about all this. Alice considering taking the job offered by her toxic ex is bad enough, but what the job is might be even harder on him. He's Sunny Day Jack, not Ian. The lines between his character and himself as an actor have blurred until his very reality has been warped. Before this, he didn't have to think too hard about the implications of his show and what it meant for the story that he's told himself about being the character Sunny Day Jack from CloudyTown.

If he's not Sunny Day Jack... then who is he?

Throwing his sunshine into the mix just makes things so much worse. Alice is offered the part of Cloudy-Belle Sue, but Jack knows the "real" Cloudy-Belle Sue. Sure he'd love to see Alice as a clown, but this doesn't make sense in his mind. They're not the same. He knows about acting, he understands, but he knows who Cloudy-Belle Sue is. He knows that the woman behind that makeup isn't his sunshine.

The makeup on these clowns is wrong. The costumes are wrong, the sets, the story style, the characterization. It's all wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!

The massive amount of cognitive dissonance involved with the whole thing would wreak absolute havoc in Jack's mind.

Jack can't let Alice know though. Even though he's learned to be himself more around her, he still can't accept being himself to himself.

He is Sunny Day Jack. This is the last shred of himself that he was able to hold onto after 40 years in that cold, lonely, sleepless hell. The episode on that tape still replays in his mind on an endless loop over and over and over and over...

Alice taking the job is going to be hard for Jack, but he can't stop his sunshine from doing anything she wants to do. She's finally come so far and started doing things for herself. Even if this was an offer from Ian, she wanted this. Sunny Day Jack would always encourage his friends to do what will make them happy, particularly his partner.

Jack can't remember the dangers involved with working for LambsWork due to blocking out all the bad memories of Joseph. He doesn't remember the sleepless nights, the overwork, the illicit substances, the stress...

The gunshot wounds...

Jack refuses to let himself remember all that, but it creeps in. He's on alert and more protective of Alice, hyper vigilant even as he tries to hide his worries behind a smile. They had come so far getting comfortable with showing each other their real feelings and flaws, but this causes him to slip back into familiar habits of masking.

Jack can't stop Alice from doing anything she wants to do. He also can't just passively watch as Ian tries to replace him as Sunny Day Jack.

Jack will support Alice, but that doesn't mean he'll stand idly by.

I haven't fully planned how it will all go yet, but ultimately Alice is going to get some answers and Jack's mask is going to crack. What else might happen is up in the air at this point.

Of course Sunshine in Hell is all about broken souls healing. It's going to be very hard on both Jack and Alice, but they'll support each other through it.

Needless to say, Alice is going to have a much nicer acting experience with Shaun and his crew. Jack is going to find it far less stressful too. Sunny Day Jack's version of horror might be tame compared to what Shaun creates, but I have a feeling Jack might be able to accept that his own tastes differ from the character he played for over 40 years.

Jack might not be comfortable with being Joseph again, and he might have conflicting feelings about reclaiming his role as a star, but he'll always want to encourage his sunshine to shine her brightest.

Regardless of what happens with the new SunnyTime Crew Show reboot, Alice can still find her place in the spotlight. She has people who love her and will support her, and she's earned this chance to shine. After the movie will be other opportunities to act and to find out of this dream is what makes her the most happy.

If nothing else, by taking these opportunities and returning to the dream that she once abandoned, Alice can finally let go of these regrets weighing her down. She can truly pursue this dream for herself this time, and find out how far she can really take it.

Even if her acting career doesn't work out, this will show Alice that it's never too late for her to try again. There's no deadline to become a success and no final exam to judge her worth in life. Even if she stumbles and falls, she can still get up and keep trying to find herself and what will make her happy.

What's important are the people around Alice who can support her and she can support in return, without either side becoming a burden on the other. With good friends, a caring family, and a loving relationship with a partner she can truly trust, she'll be able to find a future that finally helps her feel fulfilled.

Alice doesn't have to let the past weigh her down. She can always look towards the future and make it whatever she wants it to be. It's a lesson that Jack will learn right alongside her. They will learn it together both as a couple, and as separate individual people.

After all, it's important to understand yourself and your own needs and dreams without getting lost in the desires and opinions of other people.