#childe would die a lot
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing
And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had
Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter
And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"
#aitsf#ai the somnium files#kaname date#mizuki date#THE DATES THEY ARE MY EVERYTHING AAAAAAAAA#its so funny though like imagine being such a bad parent that some loner who jerks off all the time does a better job than you#and hes literally never interacted with children before and is later revealed to have actually been an assassin#renju and shoko really just suck huh#and i dont mean to reduce date to a porno loving loser cuz nah like hes actually got so much depth going on in this situation like he cant#remember a single thing about his past he has no frame of reference for what a family is or if hes ever had one himself#which we then learn he. kinda didnt he was an orphan with no friends no name no one who came looking for him it seems#yet he still finds himself loving and caring for this girl and would literally die over and over for her to live a happy life#hes so genuinely kind and caring and deeply lonely and unsure of himself if hes doing this right#and he feels agonizing pain when hes forced to remember that he isnt mizukis real dad and that. he has nothing#but despite that he doesnt force mizuki to return these feelings because its a lot to burden a child with and shes been through enough#its like. kaname date i love youuuu please just adopt her already 🥺
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SVSSS is a novel with a fandom.
[ID: A Scum Villain edit of the "missing the point" meme. A bullet arcs from velinxi art of child Shen Jiu kneeling while furiously glaring. The bullet says, "People are not entirely one thing or the other and holding them to these extremes ignores the complexities that come with their humanity." It arcs over the head of a person across from it, who ignores the bullet and exclaims: "Wow!! Shen Jiu's only crime was being mean and was wrongly hated!" End ID]
#i have so many thoughts about him but he is SO mischaracterized in a lot of fics#like just 'he would not fucking say that' on repeat#because shen jiu's entire thing is that he was CANONICALLY a terrible person#yes his backstory was sad but that doesn't make him Suddenly Good#shen qingqiu is an incredibly complex character but can y'all not pretend that his only flaw is being mean#like shen jiu failed original luo binghe in every way#as his caretaker as an adult in his life on EVERY level#'the tea had healing medicine in it!!' no it did not#shen jiu poured boiling hot tea on a child as a grown man because he was jealous. of said child.#like the entire POINT of his secret backstory was to showcase his complexity!!#and to see so much fandom stuff that's just Shen Yuan in the Opposite Direction is Hm#like he's fun to analyze but let's not pretend that he wasn't a terrible fucking person#while I'm ranting shen jiu would not casually talk about his trauma either#shen jiu's entire thing WAS appearances and even post character arc i think he'd struggle to open up to others#so like NOOOO he would not just tell someone something terrible that happened to him in his past#he'd rather die#okay rant over but this phenomenon is just SO frustrating to me#svsss#shen jiu#scum villian's self saving system#original shen qingqiu
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eowyns mother falling into a deep depression after eomunds death and eowyn having to see her slowly rot away at only 7 years old -> eowyn caring for theoden while hes also essentially depressed (though granted for a wildly different reason) -> eowyn trying to get herself killed in battle
#do you see what im saying#inherited mental illness <3#eowyn not being cared for twice over because of said person not even being avle to care for themselves#eowyn breaking the cycle by not only choosing to live but by choosing to care for others before she ever even had a child to care for#also do yall think eowyn tried to kill herself via glorious death in battle because she would rather die#than slowly rot away in misery having to be taken care of by someone else#NOT SAYING THAT HAVING TO BE TAKEN CARE OF IS SHAMEFUL BTW! DISCLAIMER#in the end being taken care of by a support system and accepting that help is in fact what saves her#i just think she saw it as a burden she didnt want anyone else to have to experience#lotr#god thats a lot of tag rambeling#mummel brainworms#eowyn
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not to Girls und Panzer or anything but I think a WH40k Chimera tank that's been taken over by some 13 year old girls would be very funny.
#warhammer 40k#wh40k#and lets pretend they wouldnt mess it up because NOBODY in this setting really knows what they're doing#the girls don't do any worse than people we're supposed to take seriously#boarding school is cancelled forever but the tank that smashed through the wall is just. sitting there. beckoning.#its a horrible setting where there's lots of child soldiers actually#also no 'they die horribly' its MUCH funnier if they just get disabled sometimes and fix it somehow and show up again. and again.#it makes everybody else dying look worse#you wouldn't deploy 6 girls in an iron trench coat would you??? (yes.)#I considered a leman russ but a transport is MUCH funnier. awkward. a bunch of little girls picked you up & they know what they're doing...#its also faster which is comedy by default#rolling up in formation with Ciaphas Cain's salamander on the road with toast in your mouth 'oh no im late for tank class!!'#and he realizes he is 'fleeing' in the wrong direction. again.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANTONIO !!!!
it’s the baby’s birthday!!! so I wanted to draw him to celebrate!! also first time drawing a jaguar and god was that a challenge!!! also trying to get better at backgrounds (aka actually doing them) so baby steps! drawing children is very hard 😭 anyways happy birthday antonio hope he has the best day ever with lots of love from his family <3
bonus doodles of some family members and antonio because I felt like it
#encanto#encanto disney#disneys encanto#disney’s encanto#encanto fanart#antonio madrigal#encanto antonio#it’s his day !!!!#I love him sm#the cutest child ever#would die for him#he deserves lots of cake and cuddles !!#antonio madrigal fanart#jacarandaaaasart
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i do think it is legitimately very funny whenever someone tries to make the claim that lavabending is inherently a very slow subbending and therefore not good in a fight. specifically when using that argument against Bolin's skill as a bender.
Sure, I feel like in very specific instances with Ghazan that could be a fair argument to make. It takes him a moment to destabilize the Ba Sing Se wall and for him to kick up enough lava to destroy the airbending temple. (to the point I would argue that if Bolin had been versed in lavabending like he was in s4 he would have swept the ground with Ghazan), but in moments where he's actually in a fight his lava is incredibly quick.
Just the lava frisbee on its own is an incredibly quick move
But making that argument with Bolin in particular is absolutely batshit when outside of lavabending he is an incredibly quick fighter. I would say it is one of, if not the, most defining things about his fighting style. He moves very, very quickly and uncharacteristically agile for a earthbender. This is a known thing. Like
I am not the first person to say this but no other earthbender does backflips like he does. And THEN with lavabending he is just as quick if not more so
Bolin since season 1 has had an uncanny knack for bending incredibly fast, and his lavabending is no exception to that rule. It's honestly something that haunts my brain all the time because how quick he is with it low-key breaks the balancing? a little?? Like earthbending was always shown to be very strong but in turn it was slower than other types of bending, but with Bolin that doesn't really seem to be a hangup he has.
#:v#bolin#legend of korra#NO ONE IS DOING IT LIKE HIM....#the way people will sit down and try to convince me with their whole chest that mako is a better bender is wild.#Like mako has a lot of other strengths but I would not say he stands out as this uniquely strong firebender#honestly except for azula most of the firebenders we see are talented for sure but none of them like Otherworldly strong when in bending#Again not saying he is weak but if you want the Strong bender of the lok group it's Bolin hands down 🤷#obvs Korra is strong but she's the avatar she's going to be strong#Bolin is just a guy he's a kid for the majority of it a child who has had zero formal training#and I would argue could beat the majority of the beifongs#with the exception of toph but even then it's not gonna be this easy toph sweep#sure toph can metal bend and is an incredibly skilled earthbender but also Bolin is also very skilled and has Hot Rocks#tho tbf I hate comparing those two can't they just both be good?#anyway Bolin solos su and the chief in a real fight I will die on that hill Specifically#s4 Bolin I mean it's the lava diff#god I sound like a powerscaler put me down now guys#anyway. Bolin 🔛🔝
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much ado about pleasure
#bonk.png#undescribed#i was a teenage exocolonist#iwatec#iwatex#exocolonist#iwatex spoilers#iwatec spoilers#<- very vaguely in the art#hi i havent drawn stuff for exocolonist in a year n played it in two but been thinking about sol again v-v#lyrics from n obviously a redraw of real end of hatsune miku#sym was a fucking nightmare to drawn bc of how simplistic my style is while tammy was a lot easier bc she has more traits i draw normally#fun detail is that i basically drew sym n tammy's mouth n eyes the same way of like erasing a bit to make them look fuller/softer#anyway thoughts drew this bc whenever i personally think n play around with sol its almost exclusively when theyve been in the loop for so#long that they fundamentally cant separate themself from it or their other lives but the suffering caused by it has looped around#so theyre basically a normal functioning person outside of stuff directly related to the loop n a few things#n then like. they gotta be fucking weird about tammy n sym right? like sym for more obviously reasons cosmically linked whatever#but commonalities are 1. the only characters you cant lose affection with/2. always love sol no matter what#3. generally very positive sweethearts n 4. You Have To Watch Them Die At Least Once#so i think sol would be fucking weird about both of them like hating urself bc u unintentionally caused the deaths of everyone you care abou#t? dw! these two pink bitches (i know sym is purple) love you no matter what!!#very intentional that tammy is her child design her but sol's their teen design just bc thats my fav look of theirs#one last thing its more visible here but the way i draw sol's eyes is that their irises go over their lower lid i do this bc it looks weird
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Sveyko and her adoptive father, Sek. [Patreon | Commissions] [Context under the cut]
Sveyko struggled a lot with her emotional control as a child and often had apparent mood swings where she'd become incredibly violent or fearful for reasons others couldn't understand. She herself couldn't understand it most of the time and being so young it was difficult for her to articulate what was wrong. Her twin sister S'veyk did not seem to suffer from these issues, causing Sveyko feelings of deep inadequacy. Like she was stupid, a failure, no-good. She often thought to herself that if she weren't born and it was just S'veyk, everyone would be happier. The above illustration is a moment that happens after Sveyko attempts to run away. While bringing her back home, Sveyko starts fighting back against Sek and ends up striking him. Fearful and guilty, she immediately begins to cry and Sek wordlessly carries her home. At home, just outside the door, Sek tells her she shouldn't hit people and she apologizes. She won't look at him, trying to hide her face because she's still crying and thinks she'll be scolded for it. She worries that the only adult who's ever been kind to her...this is it. This is the moment where she's tried his patience for the last time. She wants to be better but doesn't know how and she's done it, this is the end. He's going to be angry with her. He's going to abandon her. Sek calls her name and she reluctantly looks up at him, apologizing again. But there's no anger in her father's face as he sinks down to one knee, looking her in the eye. "Sveykokam," he says, staring at her earnestly. "If it were possible for me to love anyone, it would be you." It's a moment Sveyko thinks of often and never tells anyone else. Even as an adult. She'll think of it until her dying day. "If it were possible for me to love anyone, it would be you."
#Sek#Sveyko#comix page#vulcan oc#klingon oc#I love complicated parent-child relationships that are ultimately loving#like is telling one of your three children that if you could love anyone it would be them - CORRECT? No definitely not#BUUUUUT it's what Sek did <3 and he's not a bad father because of it#I think there's a lot of focus on good parents being perfect parents in fiction - but that's not true to life in my opinion#THAT'S HIS BABYYYYY THAT'S HIS LITTLE BABY#A good song for Sek and Sveyko-S'veyk is 'Boats & Birds'#his relationship with T'Meni is not nearly so dramatic HEHEHE#Sek would kill or die for any of his children though - he WOULD!!!!#beas ocs
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i think it's actually very brave to fight for yourself when no one else will, to insist upon your own self worth, if only in your own actions and self-preservation, when everyone around considers you worthless or unworthy.
If no one else cares about you, you will care, if no one else loves you, you will try to show yourself love to the best of your ability, even if you don't know it, if no one else will protect you then you will fight for yourself. Keep yourself alive. No one else will and it's you're no less worthy than who you're being told to put yourself to the side for, to die for, to admit you are nothing for.
It's trauma, it's resilience, it's survival, it's fight, it's advocacy, it's perseverance, it's natural, it's difficult, and it's brave.
#i'm not tagging the villain trio individually but...#consider mxy was the only one of that “squad” to sacrifice himself for someone considered more worthy and he's not anymore respected#or considered for it. Nobody thinks of him at all.#If anything NHS gets the credit for his death for baiting him into suicide and that's... Anyway#If SMS died to the Wen - either in CR or in the Cave of Slaughter depending on the version of canon - nobody would even think his name agai#If JGY had “sacrificed himself” things would probably be a lot worse but no one would give him any consideration other than maybe#to deride him for fucking up by sacrificing himself lmao#It's always seen as brave and good to help other people but cowardly and selfish to help yourself but like...#if no one cares to help you and never would then that's just saying other people are more important than you. You don't matter.#and it's actually very good and brave to stand against that I think. You should help yourself esp. if you are the only one who ever will#XY is the clearest example of this tbh. If he didn't fight for himself he'd have been dead a long time ago#as an unloved little 7ish year old child#the same society that condemned him to die on the streets as a child because they simply did not care#now condemn him for not understanding the love that was never shared with him. for surviving when they'd rather he died#because these “bad aspects” of these characters aren't despite surviving tragic pasts and difficult circumstance#and they aren't really because of them either#the “bad aspects” ARE survival
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seeing non-black people critique rick's portrayal of black characters is interesting sometimes. only like 30% of the critiques I see make any sense to me to be honest
#“rick made carter be an elvis presley fan that's fucked up!” is a real thing I just read#do you think black people can't enjoy elvis even though he appropriated black culture for personal gain#boy you would not like what I have to tell you about eminem. or kpop. or anything else bc black culture has been#appropriated by like everyone forever. are black people not allowed to enjoy iggy or ariana or billie or [the list goes on]#I myself am not biracial but I /mostly/ like carter and sadie (specifically carter who isn't white-passing) as black representation#the part where carter feels indignant that he has to hold himself to a higher standard because the world is harsher on black boys#did genuinely resonate with me when I first read that part as a child and it still does to this day#can we talk about how rick knows nothing about black hair instead#or how hazel is from the jim crow era and seems to not have one single thought about race in the modern era#or hazel's horror over the amazons keeping slaves but “no they're not slaves they just like it that way 🥰”#my problems with hazel are not at all about stereotypes I just don't buy her as an authentic portrayal of a black girl from the 1930s#don't get me started on beckendorf. does every black character need to die a violent horrible death rick#anyways this isn't intended to make anyone feel bad but we need more meaningful nuance in critiques beyond “hey that's a stereotype! bad!”#if you can't discern and communicate WHY it's bad then you're not saying anything of substance#is it a caricature? is it uninformed/underresearched? are all the characters from that group being represented in that way?#is the stereotype itself a degradation of that group? is it being played for laughs? is the character a one-dimensional stereotype?#what can we glean about the biases of the author/narrative and their worldview through their portrayal of certain groups in the text?#a big part of literary analysis and critique is not only pointing out The Thing. you need to also say something about The Thing#like if you have a black character say they like hiphop then sure it's a “stereotype”. but lots of black people do like hiphop#it's an important part of black american culture and portraying that in media isn't racist by default#and in fact lots of poc keep parts of themselves quiet for fear of being perceived as a “stereotype” when we shouldn't have to do that#BUT if you're doing it like jonah wizard was written in the 39 clues then that's where we've got a problem bc wtf was that rick#that was so racist oh my god I was like 11 years old reading that 😭 and then he had the white mc poke fun at him for being a gangster#and him being a “gangsta” was always played for laughs throughout the story#not being pro-rick here as I'm a big fan of critical riordan reading just being pro-thoughtful critiques because some of you guys actually#sound a wee bit ignorant when saying things like what was mentioned in the first tag#baye.txt#pjo hoo toa#rr crit#<- tagging that just for. well the tags basically
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There's something so insane to me about being able to create and recreate vintage or even ancient music, clothes, fabrics, building architecture, anything, really.
I watched this video about a lady who knit a WWII-era vest, and it was really unique, because the cable work would eat up yarn, when there were shortages of fibers. This pattern would have likely been used by people to send overseas to soldiers, and now it's being created in a time where this war has been over for generations. What were the people making this pattern thinking of? What about the people making the vest? Could they fathom a world where world wars didn't happen back to back? Could they imagine what peace felt like, or did it fade like a distant memory, a faint friend? All we have now are the remnants of their efforts, a "simple" vest that would warm the bodies of countless people the knitter would never have imagined were here on earth with them.
We're reaching across time to learn about other people - we're reaching our hands out just to grasp anything tangible. And when we've take hold of something, all we can do is say I love you I love you I love you
#positivity#art#i also come across this absolutely stunning woman who collects vintage pieces from the '50s and it's just. it's mind boggling#or how we've found ancient sheet music and have recreated its contents#do you ever think about how we're time travelers#do you ever think about what might be recreated of us in the future#this isn't about nostalgia baiting but about how we learn and process the ways that people in the past lived#you don't have to feel nostalgic for WWII to be intrigued by this (it would be very concerning if one WAS nostalgic for WWII)#i just. i die a little inside because i know i will never know everything...#...i will never know every lottle thing about people in the past especially...#...and i am never completely satisfied because only a very selective amount of things are preserved and remembered...#...i wonder then what 'forgotten' people thought and felt and how they lived...#...especially as individuals or as a small clan of family and friends. i want to know them intomately - as if i myself have become emeshed..#...does this make sense. i don't just want to know about nobles and kings and the wealthy...#...i want to know what the lacemaker for a king felt making lace for the royals...#...i want to know what the rice field worker thought about when the fields were flooded and they swatted a bug away from their skin...#...i want to know what a mother of a small child thought when churning butter - her baby cooing and making a mess...#...and it sucks sometimes to know that we're time travelers but in a very narrow sense. but i still love what we have got...#...don't get me wrong i love it. but i still grieve that we have lost a lot of history - a lot of people...#...or maybe we have only lost them in the sense that we just haven't located and found them *yet*#anyway i've watched that video multiple times now and i just go absolutely animalistic thinking about it#all of this is complex and i have Plenty of thoughts about that. but at least to me this is what i've seen a lot - a lot of love#and isn't studying this - recreating it and analyzing it - isn't that a form of love?#am i... a nosy person..........
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*massaging my temples with an irritated expression* I am soooooooo tired of people misunderstanding starlos character
#his lawman persona is literallyyyyyy a persona it’s spelled out in the game itself he’s not a “real sheriff” guys plea#a lot of people specifically seem to not understand how he can’t fight you in vengeance but WILL in pacifist + neutral and even talks abt#wishing he killed you when he had the chance if you killed ceroba#when like. it makes perfect sense when you actually think about it for more than three seconds. the wild east is all roleplay. even vengeful#virgil. his greatest adversary is just roleplay. it’s completely believable to me that when faced with the situation in vengeance he would#hesitate. we know in pacifist/neutral that he’s aware of the fact he’s a fraud#and this would weigh on him HEAVILY in that situation#especially when the human he’s supposed to gun down is not only a human child but the cutting image of the very people he idolised all his#life#I think it’s soooo interesting that the only times he fights/talks about fighting clover is in moments of selfishness and desperation.#his boss fight is a result of losing all his friends bc of his own ego and taking it out on a kid he dragged into everything to begin with#in flawed pacifist he wishes he shot clover before they even did anything wrong bc he lost his best friend. and while we know there are very#ain justifications that can be made (including that ceroba herself wanted to die) the law stops mattering to star the moment clover shot cer#oba#and I love that about him. I looooove that he can be selfish as fuck and not think things through and lash out in a way unlike what you’d#expect from a figure that supposedly embodies justice and the law
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Do have any headcannons about rosemary being in the turn of the century au?
I do!
So these will just be for early life stuff.
Rosemary would be a Greatest generation kid, born early 1920s.
I would not be surprised if she was a result of a last call drinking binge between Gambit and rogue (rogue has gotten control of her powers at this point) before prohibition went into effect. Either that or a result of them taste testing some strong yet safe still whiskey.
Gambit fell back into his their ways and got into bootlegging a little bit, but stops when he finds out rogue is pregnant. Spite, money, and alcohol isn't worth potentially putting another stain on his future child’s life.
Rogue is excited to be pregnant but is ducking suffering. She cannot stand how pregnant people are treated at this time. If another man makes a comment about her being visibly pregnant without her husband around she will be breaking noses. And she does.
With greater control of her powers she's gone full flapper. Very vamp aethstetic. She will make custom fitting dresses if she has to so she can keep up her aesthetic. The loose short dresses are just very freeing.
She's enjoying the dance crazes of the time and so the other x men are having to give her a gentle Inthervention that fast dancing probably isn't the best to do later on in the pregnancy. This only goes so well but after a talk from Gambit she caves.
Magneto has caused mutants to be outed to the world at this time some time around 1917. Trask debuted his metal man powered sentinels in New York built from Great war scrap he imported from all sides and they were caught on film fighting it The world is not super accepting. Logan managed to pull some strings and got an endorsement of the x men and mutants from former president Teddy Roosevelt (they had been friends via a few hunting trips. Probably one of the few men who could keep up with Logan) so thankfully mutants are not public enemy number one, but the discrimination is there and not great. So Gambit and rogue are worried about how their kid will be treated.
They consider homeschooling her but she really really wants to be in public school with other kids. Gambit and rogue are not about to challenge her moxie.
Despite a lot of hardships at first, she manages to put down bullies and make friends. It's not perfect but she's carving out her own niche in her own way. Her parents couldn't be prouder of her.
She does also have a support network through the x men too which helps A LOT. And despite being not the best moms, Irene and mystique are more than happy to help keep their grandaughter safe.
#fan child#romy#rogue x gambit#gambit x rogue#turn of the century au#x men evolution#mystique#remy lebeau#anna marie darkholme#irene adler#destiny#raven darkholme#magneto#mod talks#hello stranger#note: this is not me saying that teddy Roosevelt was not a bigot. dude was a very complicated man who did some great things but also#had some really bad opinions and was imperialistic as heck#but the dude was a champion of the underdog on a personal basis. if you could convince him you were being treated unfairly and deserved#justice he was very ride or die. dude did not like bullies#and given his appreciation for sport and machismo and all that he would probably have enough respect for logan to do him a solid in this#doesn't hurt that a lot of the x men are american born white kids either#he was incredibly progressive for his time but as a history nerd i didnt want to put it out there that i thought he was the best guy ever#cause progressive for his time is still a long way off from progrssive for our time#tw:historical realism
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I can't imagine being Mrs Everdeen. But I do wish to try.
Imagine standing to the side roped off from your children and being unable to do anything as your youngest is reaped. Knowing she won't make it because she's too tenderhearted and too young. You know as her name is called, that she will die. And yet you can't change it. You just gets to watch as your child is slowly marched forward to her death.
Imagine the hopelessness she feels. Having braved the few years of Katniss's first reapings alone, and now having to endure Prims reaping and all the while wishing she had her husband by her side to help her get through it. But she's done it for the past four years with Katniss, so surely this one won't be as bad? Only it's worse. Because it's Prims first reaping. The chances of it even happening are so slim. Katniss made sure of that. And yet, it is, in fact, her name being called.
And you wait in silence as your gut sinks and your eyes close, and you take a second to remember your daughter before she's gone. You regret giving birth because all it's done is lead to here. You regret it, and you feel so resentful. And some part of you thinks this isn't the way it should be. Not her. Not Prim. She doesn't have what it takes to claw and strangle her way to the top. She's dead before she's started.
Your gut lunches and your heart beats too fast. You feel sick. Until you hear your other daughter. The one who has been your family's rock. Who's your rock, is now stepping forward to take her sisters place. You release a breath and part of you unclenches. Because even if you would never speak it, even if you would never want to think it, even as you think it and feel disgusted with yourself, you know that you would rather Katniss go in.
She could do it. She's done so much. For years she's taken care of a family. Kept them fed by skill alone. She's your daughter. You should tremble at the thought of her going in, and you do. But not as much as knowing it could have been Prim.
And all you can do is sit back, watch it happen feeling more than grateful. Knowing this child has saved you in more ways than you can count and how often you've failed her. Despite failing her again and again every day she still continues to provide and protect. She still takes the role of mother when you haven't.
As your sixteen year old daughter marches forward, you get to feel safe one last time, grateful to have this decision made for you.
#katniss everdeen#primrose everdeen#mrs everdeen#reaping#hunger games#imagine having to live knowing for one guilty second you were grateful your child chose to die#prim and katniss got two different mothers#prim still got to view her as a mother#katniss just saw another person to feed#god i love them#katniss was HOPE for so many people not just peeta and the districts#she was her familys pride and joy#i think after they both lost prim mrs everdeen found it hard to look Katniss in the eye knowing Prim died doing what she taught her#she always thought it would be katniss dying from sneaking out#she never expected it to be prim because she wanted to save people like her mother#god the guilt in this family is wild#this is by no means justification for mrs everdeen as someone who has mommy issues i love that katniss and her mother always have#a strained relationship this is just to say n#mrs everdeen has a narrative too#id love to see what shes feeling as the series happens#watching peeta almost die for her#knowing your daughter not only saved you but all the districts as well#just having to be proud of her but knowing youve lost the chance to say it and step up for her#just i feel a lot about this
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Every year I think I'm immune to the Christmas story, and every year I'm wrong.
#i know we talk so much about how much God loves us#how he even gave his son#but it only hit me TODAY how big of a thing that is#there are people i'd be willing to give my life for#but would i send someone i love to die?#i don't think i could do that#my own life i could give#but could i give someone else's life? even someone who was willing?#could i be trusted to give my child?#i don't even have a kid of my own yet#but thinking about being an aunt has awakened a lot of latent mothering instincts and tendencies that i kinda squelched#and this Christmas Jesus coming as a baby has a whole new meaning#this kid isn't even going to be my own#but i already have so much intense love for him or her#and could i give this child i've never even met for someone else...even someone i loved and would die for myself#even knowing that this child (even after he or she was an adult) would agree to do it?#i couldn't do it#but God did that#different things in different seasons just hit in new ways#how can we even begin to appreciate God's love for us?
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