#chef shenanigans

[mike-wachowski]

“Okay.” Sam takes a deep breath, in and out, and Lena can see the cloud of frost forming around her exhale. The sub-thermal temperature of the freezer is already thawing what was left of Lena’s growing hot rage. “Spill. Why are you acting like a dick?” 

Lena huffs. “I’m certainly not acting like a dick. Jess made a mistake. It’s within my duties as the head chef to make sure everything is perfect—”

Sam raises a hand and immediately silences her. “Lena. I’m not your brother. I don’t want you to be perfect. I don’t need you to be our boss right now. I need you to be our friend.” Sam pulls out an empty apple crate from the bottom shelf and plants herself down on it. “Now tell me what’s wrong. Please.” 

Lena slumps to the floor. She sighs, watching the small puff of ice that gathers around her breath, and buries her head in her hands. 

She whispers, “Kara and I kissed.”

“What?” Sam leans in. “Lena, you gotta speak up, the fan is on-”

“Kara and I kissed!” Lena shoots her head up, making eye contact with Sam. “Kara and I kissed, and… we haven't talked about it or anything, and we haven’t done it since, but I— I made her pizza, and my brother called, and I was so upset, and I kissed her, and I can’t stop thinking about it.” 

the final chapter of you can tell a whole story with a taste is now live (and its 16k!)

you can read it from the start here.

[strawglicks]

welcome to the Coal & Ice District!

[phantom-0-writer]

*standing menacingly at the door* i made u something

anyways lol. i had a lot of school work and was really busy freaking out and stress studying for a singular test that was 4 questions and would be over in like an hour and then i proceeded to cry about it in my car for various reasons.

but yk what that means!

time for our irregular and unscheduled update of

Gotham Academy's Mentorship Program

this episode featuring a fan favorite: Duke Thomas (aka The Signal - but thats kind of irrelevant for this)

you were supposed to read that like it was from a '90s sitcom and the off screen crowd cheers rly loudly.

some house keeping updates: this scene happens in the beginning of the school year (going by the american system should be september) danny meets damian (and upsurges tim on the same day) around midterm which is around october and then the stuff with jason and damian's drawing happens around december. i kinda accidentally burned the irl timeline for anything dc first scene so now im just gonna do whatever i want.

anyways with out further ado:

table of contents

scene 04: after school activities for normal kids

Duke stood around the corner of the classroom awkwardly, wondering if he had made the right call. Sure the bats and the birds had a plethora of hands on deck any time, but most of them specialized as night time heros. Not to say that they were incompetent or anything, they were some of the most skilled and innovative people Duke had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Sure if anything happened, they could handle it, at least until Duke could slip away and show up as the Signal- Alfred and Bruce had assured him so much. But Duke couldn’t slip the guilt of busying away more of his time to after school activities when he could be patrolling or studying instead, 

But Duke had wanted to do something outside of those things, which was specifically why he had made the difficult decision to join a few clubs and after school activities. He could use a break from being surrounded by people who worked the vigilante life-style just to remember how to be a normal civilian. Let himself take a break from constantly be consumed by one case or another, one disaster or another, not being able to do enough no matter how much he tried or how much time he spent patrolling. 

Duke needed to feel grounded, like his feet were on the ground and he could press the brakes and smell the fragrance of life. Even if the fragrance was a forgotten pile of dog s-

“Alright,” The instructor for their culinary club started with a weird German accent that sounded really fake. “I am Herman. You can call me Chef or Chef Herman or just Chef. I will not bore you all with the boring introductions, and let's head right into the cooking, yes. On this paper here I made the partners for all of you to cook with for the rest of the year. If you have problem with it then quit.” 

This Herman guy seemed like quite the character, and was definitely not helping any of Duke’s previous anxieties. Many of Duke’s clubmates seem to think so too, sending their friends various looks. But no one spoke out, and instead shuffled to the front to look at the singular sheet of paper that would assign them their partners. Duke finally made it to the front and saw that he was paired with a Daniel Fenton at Station 7. 

Crossing his fingers that Daniel had at least only a half-rotten personality, Duke made his way over to station 7. The station was already prepped with an assortment of ingredients and cooking equipment. Duke had already set his stuff down claiming the seat closer to the exit (in case) when a lanky kid comes over, “Uh, your Duke Thomas?” He asks hesitantly looking back at the front counter the partner assignment sheet was. 

It took Duke an awkward second longer to realize that this kid was probably his partner. “Oh yeah I am.” He laughed apologetically, “You must be Daniel.” 

“Danny’s fine.” The boy smiled, absentmindedly brushing his messy black hair out of his face, his glacier blue looking at the equipment. Duke couldn’t help but feel like there was something off about Danny. Not in Gotham’s usual psycho-maniac-out-to-terrorizer-the-city-and-kill-innocent-people kind of off, more in a he’s not in sync with the rest of the world off. While Chef Herman explained the general structure of various types of kitchen and kitchen hierarchy that Duke was already familiar with, Duke tried to get a read on him. 

Weird did not mean threat, after all many of the Justice League- heck even the local Wayne/Batclan were pretty weird- and they (usually) didn’t mean any harm. It wouldn’t be fair of Duke to jump the horse like that. 

Deciding he should try to be friendly with him, Duke leaned over, “Is it just me or is Chef Herman’s accent totally fake?” he whispered. 

“Oh, Ancients,” Anciets? “I thought I was just going insane.” Danny sighed in relief with a small chuckle. There was a moment of silence between the two of them where no one said anything for longer than socially acceptable and Duke debated using his powers to see if he could find a clue or something. That seemed kinda invasive, though. 

When the Chef had started instructions on making today's recipe, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Danny helped Duke measure out the ingredients. “So,” Danny tried again, “What are you in for?” 

“What am I…” Duke repeated confused, 

Danny chuckled awkwardly, “Like why you joined the club.” 

Duke seriously needed to get his head in the present; this was getting embarrassing. “Oh.” He nodded in understanding, “I’ve always liked cooking,” Duke shrugged, “When I was little my parents and I would always cook together, and it was always one of my favorite things to do. And I’ve kinda always liked it, but I fell off of it for a while with school and stuff,” emphasis on the stuff “I thought joining a club could help me get back into it and get away from… everything.” That was a little more candid than Duke had planned on being with someone he had met quite literally a few minutes ago, but it felt good to have that out of his chest. The pleasant memories of his parents swimming in his mind. Mixing the dry ingredients, “Sorry that was kind of a lot.” Duke laughed genuinely this time. 

“Dude, no it’s actually so cool that you like to cook.” Danny said admiration was easy on his face, and Duke couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed. 

“What about you, then?” 

“Ugh,” He groaned jokingly, “You can’t seriously be asking for my lame ass reason after you pulled out the flashbacks.” Danny whined, letting the oven preheat like Chef told them to. 

“C’mon, it’s only fair.” Duke played along, already ahead of the other groups. 

Danny sighed, “Promise you won’t laugh.” 

“Okay, it can’t be that bad.” Duke could already feel the smile cracking on his face. 

“It is.” Danny drawlled, “So I live in the dorms right, and I got to pull some strings and room with one of my friends from back home this year. And well, let’s just say my family has a bit of a reputation for causing problems, and the kitchen definitely wasn’t an exception. One time my dad tried to make some soup for my mom because she got sick.” Duke nodded approvingly, that was a sweet gesture, “It was all fun and games until the bomb squad had to show up and long story short we had to move.” 

“You’re joking.” Duke gaped at the bizarre story, but at Danny’s solemn expression, Duke couldn’t help but be appalled, “A bomb squad over soup.”

“My parents were never really heavy on lab safety,” Danny added, as if that explained everything, “But I burn one pot of water and maybe make a few extra-crispy eggs, and suddenly its all ‘Danny you’re not allowed in the kitchen unless you start taking actual classes’ and ‘Danny that's a biohazard’.” 

“You burned a pot of water.” Duke echoed, Danny nodded innocently, “Water doesn’t burn.”

“Well, maybe you’re just not trying hard enough.” Danny sneered, trying to crack an egg on the corner of the bowl only for all the shell to fall in the bowl and the yolk on the counter. 

“Somehow, I don’t think that’s true.” Duke said, taking the bowl from him and expertly cracking an egg single handedly. Danny looked on in awe. “You said you live in the dorms?” Duke asked easily. 

“Oh yeah, all of the non-local scholarship kids have to.” 

Before Duke could respond, a girl from the station in front of them whips her head around, “You said you’re here on a scholarship?” She asked almost oppressively. 

Danny just as taken aback as Duke felt, “Uh, yeah.” 

“Me, too. Have you heard anything about the Mentorship Program here? Apparently we all have to join.” The girl’s partner was looking between Duke and Danny confused, but returned to their cooking uninterested. 

“Oh, yeah. They make us all join.” Danny nodded. 

“I heard from some of the older kids, that no one actually gets picked for that. It’s just like a weird formality thing.” The girl spoke animatedly, “What department are you in?” 

“Applied physics and engineering design.” The oven beeps that it was ready but no one moved. 

The girl seemed to deflate that answer, “Oh, I’m doing culinary science.” And with that solid conclusionary statement, she turned around and got back to her work station. 

Danny blinked, processing what just happened and slowly turning to look at Duke for proof that just happened. But the second the both of them met each other’s eyes, they burst into a fit of silent laughter. 

Bent vunuralably over the table, trying to catch their breath, they were accosted by Chef Hermon. “The two of you are having a comedy club, not a cooking club.” Chef crossed his arms at the edge of the table. Duke was pretty sure he was trying to sold them, but the fake accent was making it hard to tell. 

Danny cleared his throat and striated up, “Sorry, Sir.” He apologized quickly. 

“Chef.” Hermon peered at them, his hat looking comically large and lopsided on his head now that Duke was getting a closer look. 

“Sorry, Chef.” Duke amended, trying to keep his cool. 

“Yes, finish cooking your cookies.” He nodded satisfied, leaving their station. 

“Okay so,” Duke tried to recount what the last thing they did was, but one look at Danny trying desperately to hold in his laugh had ruined all of Duke’s efforts as well. Barely managing to get their cookies in the oven, over Chef’s fake german accent and floppy oversized chef’s hat. 

“So scholarship for applied physics and engineering design, huh.” Duke recounted from earlier, impressed. 

“Yeah…” Danny trailed off embarrassed, “It sounds kinda snotty.” 

“Dude. That’s literally one of the hardest departments to get into, and the scholarship is no sneeze either. There’s no doubt you worked your butt off to get that.” Duke assured Danny as they sat in their stools waiting for the cookies to finish. 

“Thanks,” Danny smiled sheepishly. They sat in a much more comfortable silence now before Danny spoke again, “What grade are you in by the way?” 

“I’m in 10th. General studies for now, but I was thinking of doing medicine. You?” 

“I could totally see you as a hot-shot doctor.” Danny nodded approvingly, “11th. Technically, I’m your upperclassman then.” 

“Technically?” Duke asked.

“I mean, how old are you?” 

“15.” Duke supplied confused. 

“Me too. I skipped a grade in elementary school, so we’re actually the same age.” Danny explained, sheepishly. 

“Dude, you're actually way smart.” Duke gaped in awe. 

“Hey medicine isn’t a day walk either.” Danny nudged his arm playfully, “I’m glad the mentorship thing is just for show, though. Now that we’re upperclassmen, y’know. I would not want my hands full with some random rich kid.” 

Duke laughed, “Yeah, that definitely sounds like a lot of work.” 

Easily unfolding the conversation into various topics and interests Duke found that he didn’t mind that the cookies were burnt. Or that Danny was definitely weird. But in a good way. Duke was glad they met and would get to hang out and cook with their weird not-German Chef every week. And if Danny and Duke exchanged numbers and planned to hangout outside of club activities, then well who was going to stop them.

[l3viat8an]

HELLO LOVEY❤️ HERES A LITTLE LAUGH!!!

Mammon: So after that I was walking to the-

Lucifer: Anyway, i finished that paperwork and Diavolo just sent me even MO-

MC: Lucifer, shut the fuck up. Mammon was talking you hoe.

Lucifer: *frown* How dare y-

MC: I SAID HE WAS TALKING!!!

Lucifer: ...*silence*

MC: Thought so. Keep going Mams...

Mammon: T-thanks human... I didnt even wanna talk anyway...

Lucifer: *actively glaring daggers at Mammon*

MC: Keep staring and i swear to your father i will slit your throat in your sleep.

Belphegor & Satan: *holding back tears*

helpshsjlmaoooo-

And Lucifer know MC means business, when they bring god ‘father’ into it!!!-

[sonik-kun]

The only time I character bash is when JC or JGY antis play the "my blorbo is more morally superior than yours" game. I become an instant hater the moment someone pits a character against my babies 😤😤

But jokes aside, debating who is more moral than the other in a story like MDZS is just wild to me, considering that most of the main cast are war criminals, murderers and corpse desecrators. Or, at the very least, would have a GBH charge against them if this was modern times.

None of these mfs are normal and I love them for that 🥰

[jamethinks]

One of my favourite headcanons (that I came up with, of course) is that not only is Melinda a good cook but she also loves cooking. Food is her love language, she is always cooking up a storm.

It's obviously based on her making Damian breakfast after the bus incident and now we have additional lore of Jeeves suggesting she cooks for him again. Bit the way I see it is that she didn't just do it to be nice she did it to provide him with a sense of comfort and an attempt to bond with him (even if she dashed immediately).

In the early days of her marriage, before tragedy (Damian) struck, she used to cook for Donovan all the time. At first, he would tell her not to, and she should focus on other stuff, but he actually really enjoyed her cooking and preferred it over all the top chefs in the world. He would actually travel for hours to get home and eat her food. He was really stubborn though and refuse to just flat out ask her to cook but she knew. Then he got the lobotomy (Damian)...

And when they were babies, she would cook everything the boys. Every meal they ate was hand-made by her. Demetrius actually got sick when he had to start eating the maids cooking and refused to eat the food provided by the dorm. She stopped doing it while Damian was fairly young, so he doesn't remember it much. Nowadays, she mostly makes desserts and pastries and give it to Jeeves to deliver to them and tell him not to say she made them because she's scared the boys would come looking for more. Only Demetrius can tell the difference. Damian, the dumbass would go home and compliment the chef for the amazing cookies he sent, and he would just be like yeah sure lil dude.

And I can imagine Yor finding this out. She finds a distressed Melinda cooking up a storm and is just in awe like this what she meant when she said she was the first lady. Then melinda gets all shy and flustered because she doesn't really think if her cooking skills are as anything special. When she first hot married, it was essentially the only thing she could do for Donovan, and it made her feel worthless and would even tell herself he was only eating to humor her. But then Yor just goes ballistic over her food because it's just so damn good and is begging her for lessons. Of course Yor Can't Cook Forger just fucks everything up and it scares Melinda but also comforts her as she realises maybe she does has a talent or two. Or maybe Yor is just a really really bad cook.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 110

Okay so we all know about how Regis told Dandelion in the books that his blood smelled nice, which was most likely about how none of his wounds were infected and whatnot, but what if it wasn't? What if Jaskier has a special type of blood, whether magically made, cursed, or perhaps just o- or some shit lmfao Either way, Vampires LOVE this shit. Their favorite delicacy when they choose to partake. This becomes a problem when Jaskier has a hurt foot and Geralt takes him to a medic. A vampire, whether the medic, the medic's assistant, or just someone lurking outside who caught a whiff of the blood, is like "Jackpot!" and tells all his little vampire friends, and now they're hosting a big feast just to drain this guy. But it's such a delicacy, the vampire decides maybe they should only drain him a little, so he can keep the human around, so the human can regain his blood, and they can drink from him AGAIN! Oh yes, marvelous! He throws the best parties! Jaskier wakes up with a horrible headache. He's dressed incredibly fancy, though he doesn't think these are his clothes- Speaking of which, he also doesn't think this is his room at the inn... Is he- Is he fucking chained to a dining table? "Let the buffet begin! I hope you're thirsty my friends!~" Fuck. He hopes Geralt gets here quick-

[whyeverr]

betrayed by the one cat I can rely on to not jump on the counter in real life — but delighted that cats actually react to the new mixer

[casdeans-pie]

Inspired by this post about destiel time travel dynamics if anyone has any fic recs of s15 Dean meeting s4 Cas please reblog them under this post 🙏

The Cas still struggling with catching feelings and just starting to rebel and a Dean who has been through so much with him and knows how different he becomes

[idk-bruh-20]

Irondad fic ideas #152

Every year around the holidays, a "bug war" breaks out in the Parker-Stark households 

Not bugs as in creepy crawlies. Technology bugs. Surveillance.

Tony and Peter are both determined to figure out what the other wants for the holidays 

The two are on surprisingly even ground: Peter's spider-sense doesn't consider this a threat, and FRIDAY won't snitch. They both have to find any "bugs" the old fashioned way.

Bonus:

Soon enough the whole Ironfam is wrapped up in it. November and December become a time of yearly paranoia, everyone watching what they say and "checking for bugs." 

Even Peter's friends discover tiny bugs on them. When Ned first learns the itty bitty robot behind his coat button is from Tony Stark trying to find out what he wants for Christmas he faints on the spot

Bonus 2, Crack Taken Seriously Boogaloo:

For a bit of drama: it's all fun and games until one year Peter gets kidnapped. The situation is bad. They only find him in time thanks to one of the "holiday bugs" Tony recently snuck on

[that-homoerotic-blouse]

Can't believe Wild Blue Yonder also gave us one of the funniest Doctordonna shenanigans scenarios: the Doctor and Donna escaping from an eldritch horror in a golf cart

[rougerave]

"Bruce Wayne can't cook to save his life." That's a load of bullshit. Listen Bruce can cook, he just doesn't have the time for it, and the fact that he hardly passes as functional human being.

You can't tell me that in all his traveling he hasn't picked up something. If he can remember miniature details for a case that was three years ago, he can remember recipes.

Listen other than Alfred, Martha Wayne was the only person who knew how to cook. Martha wasn't going to let her son become like his father it that department. She and Alfred taught Bruce everything from the correct utensils to how to properly spice meat, "BBQ spice is not for chicken Master Bruce, have some class."

That was one thing Alfred and Bruce still kept doing after his parents died, and because of this he becomes an amazing cook.

When he meant Taila, trust and believe that she went Gordon Ramsey on his ass when she taught him how to cook the meals of her homeland (that's when he fell in love with her. I refuse to believe anything else on this matter), and obviously as he traveled he gained more knowledge on different dishes. Most from his masters and some from random old ladies that he came across.

The problem comes when he desides to take over the company and become the cities regular furry problem. He just doesn't have time and this leads to his kids never finding out. They grow up knowing that Alfred cooks. They also don't know that on rare occasion that Bruce is free he would sneek into their apartments and make food that can be frozen and reheated, because just like him, his kids can hardly pass as functional.

And that's how Jason found him, one random Tuesday. There his father was, floating around in a black AC/DC t-shirt, gray slacks, sparkly pink crocs(Dick), Jason's apron (because Jason is the only kid that knows how to cook) and the Rolling Stones playing form a speaker that was definitely Tim's. Bruce only glances at him before speaking, "Go change, wash your hands, then come cut the carrots." then goes to drain the pasta, and because Jason is to stunned to speak he goes without a word.

Jason doesn't bring it up, so Bruce won't bring it up.

One thing he does do every night is make Damian, Duke, Tim and Steph's school lunch. He strongly objects to the idea of his babies eating Gotham Academy/University powder egg shit. No sir.

That's how the family found out. That was funny.

"I once saw you put salt and vinegar Lay's in bread."

"Not my finest moment."

They tell Dick. He laughs in their face until he sees his dad in his kitchen cutting onions without flinching or wiping his eyes.

"You have no soul."

"Yes I don't. Wash your hand and cut that baby marrow."

"But I don't like baby marrow." he complained as he washed his hands.

"I have no soul, right?"

Dick sticks out his tongue, he get whacked by a wooden spoon.

[nitrozem]

The worlds most disorganized man

[nemisisnemi]

my culinary crucible zine merch arrived!

@culinarycrucible is where i got my merch bundle from

[november-rising]

This post from @cruciomione got me thinking thoughts.

It’s fascinating that a ship with canon evidence of sexual intimacy hasn’t made as much hoopla as us with every lingering gaze, check in, awkward quip/conversation, family turmoil, sudden loss of knowing about UPS and acceptance (Carmen, Natalie, and Ritchie encouraged Sydney to say, “Let It Rip”! LET IT RIP! THE BLEEP!). And, when I do think about Carmy/Claire: The sex scene, though showing how sensual Carmy is (to me), it was the hues and lighting that were interesting. All I can recall is Blue. There’s a well written post by @thoughtfulchaos773 that examined color choices. What I like to mention is that the hues or filter or insert the technical term moving forward are so tightly connected at the beginning of Omelette.

Deep Blues of Intimacy (opening scene) to the softer tints of blues and greens of Sydney’s chef (stained) white jacket in the following scene are important. I capitalize the DBP because, for me, this scene was obviously hitting on something... It was stark and intense and hollow. It feels purposeful – hard hitting in an expectant way. The transition to a lighter blue/green filter to Sydney preparing with her stained chef white jacket feels significant. It’s about Sydney trying and trusting.  

And then THE alley scene with the same pale, cooler color tones. Carmy is trying to manage through the "warmth" (warmer tones) of his past that is actual chaos. And then there’s Sydney. Cooler, calmer, more his speed in the sense of recognition of same knowing same. There something so...wholly complicated and knowing about Season Two.

[wifiwuxians]

get his ass

wonderful commission which i adore and want to eat that i got from one of my besties, @casesbraincage who is open for commissions currently~

i love how they draw faces so much look at these handsome boys