#chef bernard dowd

[arandomao3user]

Headcanon:

. . . Tim Drake is a trophy husband in the way he neither knows how to cook nor does he want to be excluded from cooking with Bernard, so he sits on the counter like the prophesy says all queers, gays bi's, cats, and short peope should do. So he just sits there looking pretty while Bernard cooks because Tim can't cook very well himself, but he doesn't wanna not participate in some way.

—

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

Racecar Driver Tim Drake

X Michelin Star Chef Bernard Dowd

(Do you see it, I fucking see it)

[arandomao3user]

These sluts... /lovingly

can you guess where tim’s other hand is

[bigboobie27]

Colored in a quick sketch I forgot about 🫡

[windybluebelles]

Bernard Dowd is approximately 15 years old, has just had his allowance cut off, was fired from his job, and is 99% sure that both his best friends are somehow involved in the mob.

(I mean he wasn’t entirely wrong on either front but hey ho, no use dwelling on it)

All this means is that he has no money and no good way to spend his free time as Tim and Darla are always “Busy”

So when he hears of an up and coming crime lord just desperate for new recruits, he jumps on it!

(Guys I swear he’s a good person most of the time, he’s also a teenager who is rude or die and if his besties are involved in the mob who’s to say he shouldn’t be?)

Jason Todd (who was really only mildly desperate for new recruits, thank you very much) takes one look at clearly a child Bernard and immediately turns him down.

Bernard does what everyone else in his generation did and just ignores him and starts following him around everywhere.

Hey! Atleast he doesn’t have a camera and isn’t in a cape!

Jason falls victim to the same thing that Bruce did and realises that Bernard will continue doing what he wants and the only thing he can do is either help him or break his legs. Unfortunately he has a policy against hurting kids, even bitchy annoying ones with stupid sunglasses.

Several years go by,

He no longer has those friends, he doesn’t speak with his parents, and he’s about to enter college. He really doesn’t have time to be one of Hood’s merry men anymore.

He quits the life of crime, accepts his last pay check, and gets given a personal number from his boss.

(Of course they aren’t friends, don’t be silly! Jason is glad to see the stupid kid gone, gone off to civilian life where he’ll never see him again!…)

Bernard starts college, a dual major in Medicine and Cookery cause he hates himself, and almost immediately joins a cult!

…Should he have stayed with the Crime Lord?

Probably! ANYWAY-

Another year or so passes, he leaves the cult, starts dating Timothy Drake-Wayne, eventually finds out his boyfriend is Robin, yadayadayada boringggg

Bernard is at Wayne Manor one day when he hears a voice he never thought he’d hear again.

And then it’s like that spider man meme idk, I can’t write guys I’m so sorry

[theofficialuriel]

the unenlightened want tim cheating for their ship… i want it so bernard can go talk to stephanie about it.

“he cheated on me!”

*dramatic drag of her vape* “first time?”

listen if there’s any cheating plot involved it better be mutual and equally toxic.

Tim hooks up with one of his Brentwood friends? Bernard repays by getting with another one of Tim’s Brentwood friends.

Bernard is getting a little too close to one of his old cultmates? Tim is reuniting with Lonnie for a friendly debate.

Rumors of Tim and Tam’s relationship spike up again? Well there’s Rumors about Red Hood and his mysterious blond paramour.

Red Robin caught kissing Superboy after a battle? That’s okay. Bernard Dowd was caught with Conner Luther-Kent at a gala.

[aestknowsbest]

MORE Bernard as a fashion icon bc DC really needs to bring that back and keep it that way. As a treat.

[peacerisendove]

Does anyone else think that Bernard Dowd becoming a chef does not make any sense for his character?

In my opinion, it feels random for a someone like him who has been displayed as this intuitive, attentive, social, and perhaps even a social chameleon like character. Also not to make his conspiracy theories his whole character, but his enjoyment of those theories shows a unique perspective and way of thinking that I think could be utilized more.

Like I personally hate that there is this pattern/over abundance of love interests in the DC Universe being reporters or in the vein of detectives, but even Bernard veering toward private investigator or a reporter would have made more sense for his character. It involves social skills and charm, and his whole vibe as a 'social chameleon' who can blend in with any group of people, but doesn't truly fit in anywhere/any one place/in general (and in my opinion) would struggle to find a place he fits or a direction in his life.

What are your guys thoughts? I feel like there is a better career for Bernard that would make sense for his character and the way he thinks and acts.

[nekomim1]

Tim's ass showed up late with a fucking green bean casserole.

Dw, Bernard is rushing in to save the day. He was the only one who could be trusted to bring the ham 🫡

(Also the casserole was surprisingly delicious. Unfortunately)

batfam potluck! jason brought chili and cornbread :)

👉👈 if anyone wants to come to the potluck (aka draw more bats with food)…. please do 🥺

[littlepikmins]

Future Worlds Greatest Detective Tim Drake marrying Eccentric Culinary Chef Bernard Dowd sounds so powerful to me. Like as a couple they can't just be normal

[arandomao3user]

. . . F#&% you.

*Makes a Timbern Baby AU, but they... Forget to tell any of their family they had a baby for a few years.*

—

Tim, stumbling inside, half asleep, fell through the window, face planted, got back up, blinks slowly:

Bernard, standing there with a newborn in his arms: Uh, hey, Tim?

Tim, army crawling on the floor because getting up is a lot of work: Huh?

Bernard: Some ninja looking dude showed up at our doorstep, said something about owing you and making amends and stuff...

Tim, pulling himself into bed: Uh huh?

Bernard: He gave us a baby.

Tim:

Bernard, holding up baby: She's made of our DNA and stuff.

Tim:

Bernard: Sooo...

Tim, confused screaming:

—

Tim, holding up his new daughter: I lost my spleen to that man, got thrown out a window, had an army of assassins sent after me... anD HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR FATHER!?

Bernard, laughing:

—

Tim, setting their new baby in a box they made into a crib: Should we, like, name it?

Bernard, observing the sleeping baby: That's probably the responsible thing to do.

Tim: So, first name?

Bernard: First name. Uhh, could name her after your Mom?

Tim: Which one?

Bernard: Okay, so that's a no. After your sister?

Tim: That'd get confusing later.

Bernard: . . . We could name her after Darla.

Tim: I'm game if you are.

Bernard: Nice, so, we're great at this parenting thing! So... Who's last name does she take?

Tim: I'm convinced the Wayne name is cursed, so.

Bernard: Darla Dowd?

Tim: Wait.

Bernard: Yeah?

Tim: We could do the funniest thing ever.

*She was later dubbed: Darla Janet Dowd-Drake-Wayne.*

—

Jason: Damn, Timmy, you look exhausted.

Tim: I'm a parent now.

Jason, assuming he adopted a plant or something: Pfft, well, good luck with that.

—

*Exactly four years pass, and somehow nobody's pieced together / realized Tim and Bernard have a whole ahh child...*

Tim: Ugh, Darla has been such a handful lately. She heard Jason on call last week and now knows exactly four swear words, she uses them religiously.

Bruce: Darla didn't already know swear words?

Dick: Your friend? Isn't she, like, in her twenties..?

Tim:

Tim, with a horrible realization: You... When I talk about Darla, you thought I was... Referring to mine and Bern's friend, Darla?

Bruce: Who else would you be referring to?

Jason: I thought Bernard had a little cousin or somethin'.

Tim:

Tim: Uhh... I meant... I meant... My daughter.

Jason:

Bruce:

Dick:

Alfred: About time!

—

Darla: Why do you look like a skunk?

Jason: I died.

Darla: Shouldn't have done that.

Jason: It wasn't my choice! I got sold to a clown!

Darla: Skill issue.

Jason: Are you victim blaming?

Darla: No, just saying you have skill issue. I haven't been kidnapped by a clown!

Jason: I can change that.

Darla: Bet I won't die.

Jason:

Jason: PRETENDER, COME GET YOUR BRAT!

—

Darla: Why are you Robin?

Damian, a full on teenager, researching medical schools: Because I was chosen.

Darla: Why?

Damian: You ask a lot of questions.

Darla: Can I be Robin?

Damian: Why would you be Robin?

Darla: Papa was Robin.

Damian: Your point?

Darla, with a sh!t eating grin: I'm the blood daughter.

Damian, having flashbacks:

—

Dick: You're pretty smart for a four year old.

Darla: You're pretty smart for a high school dropout.

Dick:

Dick: Your Dad is a high school drop out!

Darla: And he didn't become a cop, in a city worse than Gotham!

Dick:

Dick: Well—

Darla: Fumbling aliens does run in our family though, I noticed...

Dick: Are... Are you talking about Connor or Kori?

Darla: Both, but I'm glad I don't have alien DNA, uncle Kon has mad skill issues, man.

Dick: How do you know any of this?!

Darla: Papa and I have talks over breakfast.

—

Bruce: . . .

Darla: I have that effect on people.

Bruce: What... What do you do for fun?

Darla: I like to ice skate!

Bruce: Can... Can I buy you a skating rink?

Darla: Only if we can play Chapel Roan on the speakers, and I want a disco ball.

Bruce: Done.

—

Tim: Thanks for watching Dolly, Duke. Was she good?

Duke: Oh, she was great! We s#%& talked B!

Darla: Damned emotionally constipated furry!

Tim: So proud.

—

Stephanie: So, aiming to be Robin and a Batgirl someday?

Darla: Oh, I'm gonna steal all your mantle at some point, then make my own.

Stephanie: An overachiever, I like it.

—

Cassandra: Do you want to learn how to be one with the shadows and remain completely silent?

Darla: Stealth training? YEs!

—

Jason: To be completely clear, I gave Bruce his first granddaughter.

Tim: I gave him his favorite in-law though.

Jason: WHAT?! B totally prefers Roy over Bernard!

Tim: Please, Bernard can cook, has Alfred's approval, graduated high school AND college with two majors, as well as opened a restaurant AND isn't a meta in any way!

Jason: He hasn't even saved the world! Once!

Tim: Oh, and he's not a ginger.

Jason:

Tim:

Dick, rushing in: WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT GINGERS!?

Jason: YOUR DAUGHTER IS ABOUT TO BE AN ORPHAN, PRETENDER!

Tim: I believe I've made a mistake...

—

Tim: Now, what do we do if someone asks to follow them down an alleyway?

Darla: That's how one set of my great grandparents died, do I look like a sucker to you?!

Bernard: Uhh, Tim..?

Tim: Then what?

Darla: Kick them in the crotch and call uncle Jay to shoot 'em!

Tim: No, wait, we don't kill people.

Darla: And why not?

Tim: I haven't figured out yet myself, but the most I can gather is that we can't afford those types of crashouts.

—

Babs: I guess you explain why Tim and Bernard had so many searches about babies...

Darla: . . . Do you have access to my search history?

Babs: Why..?

Darla: No reason.

—

Darla, at daycare, not having a clue what she's saying means: MY GRANDPA CAN F#%$ YOUR GRANDPA!

—

[donkoogrr]

I've given enough angst lately. Have something amusing:

Chef Bernard Dowd on Hell's Kitchen.

Imagine it, please. Imagine Tim gripping with bloody hands to the shreds of his self-control, trying not to physically attack Chef Gordan Ramsey for yelling at Bernard for fucking up the risotto.

[chamiryokuroi]

Tim “I have to be on peak performance so I eat only healthy” Drake vs Bernard “I might want to be a Chef but fuck it I like chips” Dowd.

Not to worry, Bernard obviously wins and gets to keep his chips.

[bigboobie27]

I’m 100% sure Bernard is a great chef like I’m so sure he’s great but….

Wouldn’t it be so funny if he wasn’t 😭

Like imagine he was horrible and just chaos in the kitchen but believes he’s amazing???

Lmao like imagine he needed those cooking classes

[dceased-dynamic-duo-4ever]

There’s a reason Darcy had to take Bernard off the boat with the excuse that he needed to make a soufflé—and it’s not just because of Bat-stuff.

Maybe that’s why Tim made all his kitchen appliances unusable 🤔

tim puts bloodstained gloves into his microwave and bernard's chef-senses start tingling

[theofficialuriel]

What if Danny Temple had been the one to save Bernard instead? The Chaos Momsters kept bothering the Kobra Cult and Danny decided to go fuck them up but he shows up the same time Bernard is getting sacrificed and—