#chart fraud

[akkivee]

skimmed thru the guidebook myself!!!! here’s what i thought was neat about it!!!

the book cover was warning text all over it lol and it reads:

‘hypnosis mic has the power to interfere with people’s minds. when handling it, please be mindful of the extent to which its users’ influence can reach. furthermore, possession of a hypnosis mic that is not authorised by the chuuoku is subject to strict legal penalties’

within the pages, there’s another warning that’s partially blocked off by the graphics, but is advising to thoroughly read thru the guidelines for optimal functionality for failure to do can cause errors, malfunctions and other issues lol

pretty sure said pages are of the box the hypnosis mics are delivered in lol

the current era relationship chart is insane lmao like there are so many arrows. if it’s important, there’s probably an arrow for it lol

a handful of timeline events were removed in favour of including info about everything all the way up to the music festival. most of these removed events were when individuals met each other, eg dohifu meeting, rei and otome meeting

i think it’s just funny lmao but the section in bb’s story talking about jiro and saburo’s jobs to get ichiro to consider making a team with them, they included a silhouette of some woman to represent hifumi’s stalker LOL

did they update the official site with rei’s blood type??? if they didn’t, he’s type a 🤔

according to dh’s most important persons page, rei and otome stopped seeing eye to eye about the true hypnosis mic and the ramuda clones

the explanations for nagosaka’s abilities are neat!!!

🎋: makes the other person laugh, weakening their abilIties (tho interesting to note it’s not written with the english word ability to imply the hypnosis abilities)

🍮: informs allies, strengthening their power

0️⃣: manipulates any number of people to his own advantage

📿:enters a meditative state that increases concentration to block the opponent’s ability (ability here is written in english to imply it’s the hypnosis abilities)

🌙:gathers courage that restores own power (parallels jakurai’s ability to restore to normality when tled literally)

⚖️:with a shout, repel all attacks back at the opponent and away from allies

otome’s likes are gardening, tea, and antiques. she doesn’t like bugs or coffee. her favourite foods are pasta and risotto and she doesn’t like meat

ichijiku’s likes are ribbons, general goods, and fashion magazines. she doesn’t like pigeons or roller coasters. her favourite foods are sweets and she doesn’t like curry

nemu’s likes are making sweets and aquatic sports. she doesn’t like tobacco or lizards. her favourite food is hamburgers and she doesn’t like shellfish

the guidebook says the effects a person experiences after the true hypnosis mic is used on them varies from person to person. there are plenty of unknowns about it, including why hypnosis abilities disappear once under its influence.

the guidebook actually doesn’t have those pics of shakku and co we got in arb lmao. tho to that point it’s kinda interesting the people’s photos they do include are yotsutsuji and hanabi

[iersei]

easiest decision ever

for doodle requests maybe just a scary please :)

[VOTE FOR GLENN CLOSE HERE AND GET A SKETCH REQUEST]

maybe the real scare was the teenage girlhood we found along the way

[peppertaemint]

DWAS reached 1B streams on spotify faster than Seven by JK and armys are saying Bruno Mars is jealous of JK so purposely teamed up with Lady Gaga to beat him.

lololololol. Was BM not supposed to release music then or have many streams cause armys want to keep JK's "record" safe?

My bias for JK aside, first up, Seven is not ONE song, it has clean and explicit versions with multiple covers combined. JK couldn't repeat those numbers with SNTY simply because armys didn't have as many versions combined for it, that they could mass stream. SNTY took more than a year and loads of TH streams to get to 1b. So armys gotta be real. BM and Lady Gaga don't have to team up and go after JK. Not everything is about BTS, pls.

Listen, I'm a JK bias and his numbers are fucking meaningless. If you release a song with more than one version, you're trying to game the charts and that's lame. I pay attention to none of it

Bruno Mars doesn't need to game the charts because he's actually popular with people across the world. Even my mom loves Bruno Mars. 🤷‍♀️

[leavingautumn13]

tonight i'm wrestling with the fact that i've always listed hrissock as being lawful evil on their character sheets but they have the aura of someone who has absolutely committed tax fraud and i don't know if that tracks.

[utahimeow]

!!! leo venus??? what’s your moon rising n mars??! Σ(°ロ°) (only if you’re comfortable with saying! you can ignore this otherwise m sorry for bothering you!!)

capricorn moon + sagittarius mars !! idk my birth time so i dont have a rising 😭

[doctor-says-im-alright]

Just got told I cant be seen because I have Crazy UnCooperative Bitch Disease (paranoia). I also have Emotional Vampire Disease i.e trauma. :/

I think people would armchair diagnose bad people with cluster B disorders much less if psychiatric disorders hadn't all been given names by ableists who of course picked the traits most unberarable to "sane" people to name them rather than, you know, the ways it affects the people that have them. It's like, when doctors are all "this disorder gives you extremely low self esteem. and it's called the Selfish Fucking Asshole Disorder" or "this disorder makes you want to die so bad. and it's called the Hysteric Bitch Disorder" or "this disorder disconnects you from your peers. and it's called the Insane Evil Cunt Disorder" and so on and so forth, so of course you have people going "oh, this person is a selfish fucking asshole, they MUST have Selfish Fucking Asshole Disorder! this further proves that all people with this disorder are like that in the first place!" Do You See It

[theleafwarden]

On one hand, I'm forever grateful in meeting so many people online and offline who have just a vast array of experiences that help shape my world view. On the other hand, not being in the positions to also have a vast array of experiences literally limits my entire existence as a human being and it's depressing. It actually cripples my ability to take chances and heightens my anxiety on life. The constant pull of wanting to be alone all the time and wanting true friendship and companionship of a lover is maddening.

While I often have fleeting thoughts and feelings of departing from this realm, on meds or off, the feeling and ideas still stand. I'm exhausted. I'm tired of being exhausted. The only way to stop being exhausted is to stop breathing, but the first inhale and exhale of a cold fresh winter's day is exhilarating and I would miss that if I stopped breathing.

The sounds of youth laughing, the sounds of the elderly stubbornly persevering and laughing, people generally enjoying their own personal happiness. Whether it's delusions of grandeur or pure honest bliss, it's is always interesting to observe and it generally warms the soul.

[immunobiz]

Not responsible for the PCRE program frauds

Not responsible for the PCU program frauds

Not responsible for SNC & WE files

Not responsible for ARRIVESCAM frauds

Not responsible for the lack of respect for the Charter of Rights and Freedoms

Not responsible…

Everything blamed on Covid to keep us alive LOL with a 0.07% death rate LOL

Pas responsable des fraudes du programme PCRE

Pas responsable des fraudes du programme PCU

Pas responsable des dossiers SNC & WE

Pas responsable des fraudes d’ARRIVESCAM

Pas responsable du non respect de la charte des droits et libertés

Pas responsable…

Tout sur le dos du Covid pour nous maintenir vivant LOL avec un taux de 0.07% de décès LOL

[snugglyporos]

Pete has been told humans like the pictures! So Pete has the pictures. Pete wishes to make sure humans understand the difference between good and bad.

One of these pictures involves something called a 'bank' which Pete is told has many metal circles, and has been around for many moons and which has many many metal circles all over the world.

One of these involves something involving imaginary metal circles which then resulted in what Pete is told is a legendary fall from grace and lots of humans losing lots of metal circles.

Now, Pete is but a simple pumpkin poro! Grows the patch! Does not particularly need all the metal circles, or even most. Are not interesting to Pete.

However, Pete would like to point out that it should be very worrying if anyone tried to explain that the picture on the right is your plan. Pete is a poro and just looking at that makes Pete wonder just what they're trying to hide! Would not give his snax too. Clearly, is not good.

Pete hopes that this has been informative. Do not give your snax to humans whose idea of structure looks like a nightmare.

[ao3topshipsbracket]

now that it's been five months, can I point out something really funny that I don't think anybody noticed?

so you may remember that round 2 was notorious for the voter fraud that happened in blackbonnet vs stucky. some people (on both sides!) found the whole thing hilarious; some people (again, on both sides!) got really, really unreasonably angry.

the graph looked like this.

now, that's a very sudden and noticeable spike there at the end; this was definitely a coordinated effort and it was definitely to some degree fraud. there's screenshots of a job listing on sproutgigs to prove it. but look at the rest of the graph! that's fairly natural-looking— no enormous spikes, no stopping and starting. there's bumps, of course, because sometimes you get reblogged by someone with lots of followers, and there's upsets, but there aren't cliffs. for the most part, except for that sudden bend at the end, this is pretty normal voter behavior.

people joked about the fraud in this poll for weeks afterwards. "hey, where's the award for most voter fraud?" people said.

well.

the award for most voter fraud does not go to stucky vs blackbonnet. it goes to this absolute fucking nonsense:

like, look at that. look at those long stretches where almost nobody was voting crimeboys. look at the sudden jumps, and look at how suddenly they end. in the earlier sections you can see the little pauses where whoever was frauding took a break to rest their wrists and get a snack.

I don't know what I think the takeaway here is. you could say this is a story about how accusations of voter fraud don't track voter fraud, they track controversy. you could say this is a story about how if you don't have a graph right in front of you, it is significantly harder to identify voter fraud than you think it is. both of those are even true.

but personally, I like to look at it as a post about how if you really try, you can chart human passion. and I think that's beautiful.

[moonchild033]

Astro Observations -5💃

Here we go with part-5!!! My schedule is getting hectic, I managed some time to make this finally 😭😭❤💫

(These observations are based on the whole sign system, sidereal charts and all obs are subject to change with other aspects in the chart, so don't conclude anything with a single placement) ❤

1. Mercury in Capricorn/Aquarius or in Saturn ruled stars- Could've got late admissions in educational institutions or had academic gaps or breaks. This could also be true if Saturn is in Gemini/Virgo or in mercury ruled stars.😌

2. Jupiter in 10H esp in fire/air signs- They could have the tendency to change jobs frequently, mostly because their interests are diverse or they like the concept of exploring, taking a long time to settle down.😊

3. Having same ascendant in both D1 & D3- The person will be courageous, they could get benefits and significant help from siblings. Their source of motivation in life could come from their friendships, a close knit of circle who always motivates them to move forward.💫

4. Virgo mercury - Can be prone to losing money in share market, due to online frauds etc. These ppl should be careful with their money. You could even lose it carelessly, like forgetting the money purse somewhere. 🤧

5. Jupiter in 7H for Gemini ascendant - Even though Jupiter is in own house in this placement, it can give late marriage to the person if it's alone in 7H or doesn't receive any aspects from other benefic planets.😇

6. More planets in Leo house in D2- You will attain wealth by your own hardwork and independently. This placement can also make the person to start earning earlier than their peers or simply have more earnings regardless of what age they started going to a job.💃

7. More planets in Cancer house in D2- You will be blessed with extravagant lifestyle and wealth after marriage. Your partner will play a significant role in determining your wealth---you could either have a joint bank account with your partner OR after their arrival in your life, you could've experienced significant rise in your salary.🤩

8. Mars-moon conjunction in D4- The property you buy in your name could be located near water sources or you can be inclined to buy agricultural lands or at least buy a commercial plot with a countryside environment. If it's in a water sign, you would buy properties in your name near coastal cities.💙

9. Ashlesha/Jyeshta/Revati Moons- No matter how manipulative or cold they might appear due to moon in mercury star, they can fall in love easily. Even if they're slow, they're as obsessive, deep and consuming as Scorpio moons when in love. Some ppl might have had obsessive crushes or a long relationship for years during school days itself.💖

10. Mars-Sun conjunction in D4- House in your name could be placed near government owned buildings or in a colony where many government officials reside. You might construct a house in warmer places (by temperature in surrounding) than the ones you grew up in.🌡

11. Cancer Venus in a woman's chart- Female friends can get jealous of them, after wedding, even the female family members of the groom could do so. It's because of their perfect embodiment of feminine self, it can make other underdeveloped females insecure. Might not be the case for everyone, just observed this in few.💜

12. Placements and the type of house construction/aesthetics you may like & build:

(This doesn't mean you will end up building your house like this for sure, these placements should make aspects to the 4H/4H lord, 4H shouldn't be afflicted, favorable mahadasha should come and many more other aspects, so take the below ones as a fun read!)

Venus in Taurus/Libra/Pisces- Lots of interior designing & unique architecture. They want their house to be very aesthetically pleasing and appreciated by others. They have a eye for beauty.😍

Rahu in 4H- House constructed in an extravagant manner, has many rooms🤭

Mercury-saturn conjunction - Likes building staircase inside the house and basements having those spiral steps like in the horror films lol.🤫

Aries Sun - Grand entrance, the main gate or the house door will be big both in terms of height and width. They could like adding glass elements that reflect light on top of house door or any architecture near that.💅

Jupiter-Saturn conjunction - Loves unique and high class wooden sculptures and furnitures. These could be the people who would import specific type of wood to make their study table hehe.💪

Taurus/Cancer Moon- Water flowing architecture inside the house. You may also be fond of having fish tanks. This placement along with taurus or libra venus can give (for ex.) unique statues and water flowing from it or glass floors and fish maintenance below it.🤪

Leo Moons- Most probably likes having their own swimming pool in their house, especially purva phalguni moons.😻

Mars-moon conjunction - Loves doing indoor gardening. Rahu in the mix can give technological advancements in this, like having hydroponics system or any specialized type of gardening.🌱

Venus-rahu conjunction - Prefers different colored lighting settings, can even have home theatre setups. They like aesthetic light works with multiple colors and all shiny at least in one room for recreation.✨

Venus-Mars conjunction - Highlights strong security systems. They could appoint a watchman or have CCTV cameras surrounding their house. Mars in rahu's star having this conjunction, they might have advanced touch or face recognition type of security systems.😼

Let's Learn and Grow Together!💋💅

With Love-Yashi ❤⚡

Masterlist 💖

[hajimedics]

relationship charts between my fop ocs and their respective groups

A BIT OF RAMBLE HA HA HA!!!!!!!

tsubaki's whole deal at school is that she lied about being an esper and has to rely on kira to back up her frauds despite her reluctance on making wishes. hazel's hot on her tail. she suspects that girl genius might have a magical being on her side. tsubaki suspects the same with hazel and forms this one sided rivalry with her. hazel thought tsubaki was kind of mean and thinks she's flaunting her academics. however as they spend more time together and get caught in supernatural situations, they began supporting one another and telling each other to think about what she wants for her own benefit (tsubaki to hazel) or relax for a bit and not think everything and everyone's out to get her (hazel to tsubaki). also tsubaki hangs out with the hazel gang when she doesn't have cram school for the day

tsubaki and dev did not get long. they both came from harsh home lives (obsessive parents, neglectful dad) but they don’t see eye to eye because they have opposing attitudes and values in life. tsubaki thinks you only deserve good things if you work for it while dev gets everything handed to him on a gold platter. she also thinks dev doesn't deserve his godparent or anything good in life (words that later push them to understand each other better). dev looked genuinely upset, she later apologized, and they became.... frenemies? rivals? they still throw jabs at one another but tsubaki wants to put in effort to make more friends thanks to hazel's encouragement. when they're older they became close friends and catch up on how each other's doing despite not going to the same schools after elementary. it's cool.

NOW ONTO KIRA AND PERI. MY FAVORITE.

kira believes the fairy world is hypocritical. he doesn't have world domination plans (that one goes to irep) but he wants to change fairy world for the better and make the fairies realize the flaws in the godparenting system, and what better way there is than through peri?

peri's both a fairywinkle and a cosma, he's the first fairy to be born in 1000 or so years, he's incredibly powerful and harbors massive potential, yet his powers is kept under control in that glass orb. peri is also new to godparenting while kira has thousands of years of experience. kira's witnessed many things that gave him such views (kids with abusive parents, homeless kids, sickly kids, mentally ill kids, etc), and he also noticed that peri is struggling with his first godkid and is such a stickler to da rules that it strains his relationship with dev. he must've noticed it too, right? how he and dev are at odds due to peri's reluctance to give him the things he wanted, how he and irep aren't really as close as they were when they were children. kira knows peri's naive, not stupid.

kira's not going to manipulate peri or straight up force him to do anything but he does want to become a presence in peri's life so he can open his eyes and change fairy world for the better ("a good godparent wants to see their godkid happy, right?"). he wants to guide peri in the path that he thinks is right. unfortunately they don't see eye to eye often so most of their conversations are at benches outside the school while their godkids are in their classroom

[shitswiftiessay]

Taylor sees her protégé out-charting her for the first time ever, so naturally she puts out a new fortnite single CD because she can’t stand not being #1.

and she also never has enough MONEY from her fans.

Also, the swifties on twitter are SOOO ANGRY about it!! They’re accusing Sabrina of fraud, saying she only has a bit because of autoplay, acting like Taylor’s a victim because she might not win all the big awards, as if she isn’t a BILLIONAIRE who doesn’t already have ENOUGH fucking awards!!

They’re blaming spotify autoplay for Sabrina out charting Taylor, because it’s not possible that people would rather listen to a fun, upbeat, catchy song like Espresso instead of a 34 year old woman with “teenage petulance” moaning about the loss of her love with a racist ugly shit, and talking about k wording herself and others.

GONE are the days of swifties creepily claiming Sabrina as Taylor’s daughter. Now that she’s getting too successful, she’s an enemy now. Just like another young female pop vocalist that they hate.

[baileypie-writes]

💕🩷hello ! I wanted to ask if you could possibly do more velvet and venner with a younger sibling?

Ok so how will velvet and venner react to their younger sibling (who was born with actual talent of singing) being use by another famous singer just as they use the trolls to become famous, like, the singer is stealing the younger sibling's talent to have a beautiful voice and keep getting famous and the younger sibling is becoming pale and weak (just as Floyd was) and maybe velvet and venner getting along with the trolls to save their younger sibling.

Hope you could understand, sorry if I'm sending this in the wrong time. Take your time and hope you could do it, if not then it's completely ok!

A/N ~ Omg, I love this idea! I decided to make this into multiple parts, since one would be too long. Part 2 should be out pretty soon. Hope you enjoy!

~I Want to Break Free~

Velvet and Veneer + Younger Sibling!Reader

Part 2 here!

Fandom: Trolls 3: Band Together

Relationship: Familial

Synopsis: Velvet and Veneer find out that your talent is being stolen by a famous singer. So they team up with the trolls to save their little sibling.

Warnings: Reader being tortured(not detailed/graphic), cringe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Veneer noticed it first. You were pale, and seemed weaker. He told Velvet, and both were concerned. Of course they asked you what was wrong, but you just claimed that you were tired.

This wasn’t exactly a lie. You were very tired. But the reason why is what you couldn’t tell your siblings.

You were born with a natural singing talent, unlike Velvet and Veneer. You always viewed this skill as a blessing. But for the past week, you wish you didn’t have it.

~~~

It all started when you posted a video of yourself singing a song by your favorite artist, Lemon Pop, on the internet. You went viral, and even got noticed by her. You were lucky enough to meet her in real life, and you even thought you became friends. Unfortunately, you were very wrong.

Lemon Pop was a fraud, just like your siblings were. She was inspired by how they stole the talent of trolls, and wanted to do the same. But after using a troll, she decided that it wasn’t enough for her. So after she saw your video, she knew immediately that she wanted your talent. She lured you in with her friendly facade, and when she finally had you close, she let her real personality shine. She’s a rude, manipulative and straight up abusive person. Way worse than how Velvet was in her glory days.

She forces you to attend all her performances, and stealing your talent before going on stage. She always threatens to ruin your life if you refuse or tell anyone. So not knowing what else to do, you play the role as her friend.

It’s so painful when everyone calls you lucky. You’d think that being best friends with a pop star would be the greatest thing in the world. But after feeling your talent leave your body in a painful, exhausting process for what felt like the millionth time, you wish you’d never posted that video of you singing.

~~~

“Where’s (name)?” Veneer asked.

“They’re with that ‘Lemon Pop’ girl again.” Velvet responded. Almost like that summoned her, the channel that was playing on the TV started mentioning her.

“Once again, Lemon Pop’s song is at the top of the music charts!” The announcer stated. It went on to show a clip of Lemon Pop receiving an award. You were there in the background, but anyone who knew you could tell that you were not well.

“Did (name) dye their hair?” Veneer asked.

“Uh, I don’t think so. Why?” Velvet responded.

“Because there’s some white in it.”

Velvet turned to the TV, and saw that he was correct. But your hair wasn’t the only odd thing about you. You looked exhausted, way worse than you seemed before. And for some reason, you were wearing long sleeves, long pants and gloves. It was warm in Mount Rageous, so your outfit was strange. Even more so, because you were visibly sweating a lot.

Before Velvet and Veneer could question your state to each other, loud knocking could be heard from outside their window, followed by a familiar voice.

“Velvet! Veneer! It’s us, Brozone!”

They thought they’d never see those faces again. It was the trolls. The ones that ruined their careers, and sent them to prison. They were banging on the window frantically.

Velvet stomped over to them. “What the hell are you doing here? Come to ruin our lives again?” She spat.

“Ah, Velvet. That was our fault. We tortured some of them, remember?” Veneer placed a hand on her shoulder, attempting to calm her down.

“I know I remember…” Floyd mumbled.

“Whatever! What do you want?” Velvet slapped her brother’s hand away.

A small, weak troll suddenly emerged from the group. Their hands and feet were sparkly and transparent, and they had a large ponytail of previously red hair, which was now mostly white. “It’s about your sibling, (name).”

Velvet and Veneer’s eyes softened, and their expressions changed to ones of worry. “What about them?” Asked Velvet, defensively.

“What you did to Floyd… they’re going through the same thing.” The troll said.

The twins looked at each other, then back at them. “What? What do you mean? Who even are you?” Velvet snapped.

The troll sighed. “I’m Rosetta. I used to be Lemon Pop’s prisoner. She stole my singing talent, just like you did to Floyd. But I wasn’t enough for her. So she tricked (name) into becoming friends, so she could steal their’s instead. I got Brozone to help me find you, and get you to help them.”

Velvet and Veneer were speechless. They looked back at the TV. You were still visible in the background. Now your appearance made sense. They looked at Lemon Pop, smiling and waving to all their fans. And even though they did the same thing she was doing, they couldn’t help but be pissed. You were their sibling, and she was torturing you.

They turned back to Rosetta, pure rage clear on their faces.

“Let’s go save them.”

(To be continued…)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[numbersandstars]

Debilitation Series: Mars in Ashlesha

A debilitated planet means this planet has reached the lowest point in its own sky. There, the planet lies on the ground in a strange place, feeling powerless... At least, it thinks so. The sign and the nakshatra where the planet is debilitated actually allow the planet to fight even more to get back on its feet and become successful.

Mars Debilitated in Ashlesha

Mars gets debilitated in 28° Cancer, that is to say, in Ashlesha nakshatra (Ashlesha: 16°40 Cancer to 29°60 Cancer). Mars the soldier has now fallen in the warm waters of Cancer. But he keeps falling to the point he has reached the deep dark caves of Ashlesha nakshatra. The soldier Mars never fears. He always gets back on his feet, especially when he faces danger. He is used to warlike situations. Now, Mars is facing danger. But it is a threat that he had never been prepared for. Now, he has to deal with the changeable emotions of Cancer but also, the secret fears of Ashlesha. Natives have to deal with the fear of future. If Mars represents themselves in their chart, the fear of future will be stronger. It will lead them to take actions according to them only. Emotions dictate their lives and they jump to conclusions too quickly. They can make wrong decisions because they will not take enough time to think through. Sensitivity is high, so is their anger. Emotions and fears control Mars. This leads natives to cause damage to themselves but mostly to their loved ones too. Indeed, Cancer represents the family, the home, and peace of mind. Mars' angry energy has nothing to do there. This flow of warrior energy spreads on the home and the family, causing even more damage. Then, regret overwhelm them. This is Ashlesha's poison. One has to master these Ashlesha serpents of illusions. Because the real problem is not the emotions themselves, but the impulsive reaction to the environment and time, that is to say, maya, the temporary world we are living in. Nonetheless, Natives can cleverly use this position to their advantage. Their high sensitivity can be used to detect frauds and traps, so they protect themselves and their loved ones. They can learn to defend themselves through martial arts or any self-defense sports : it strengthens self-esteem and Mars' physical power. They can use their sense of loyalty and justice for a fair cause too. They would better serve mother figures, their cultural community or country instead of fighting inside their own home and family life. They actually happen to be very good guardians and fighters. Natives should rely on alternative medicine, homeopathy to heal them as it is a gift from the Ashlesha serpents of the deep. Their homes are also crucial in their well-being, they should use vastu or feng shui to fix them. Growing plants, food helps the natives as it strengthens their relationship to the earth. It helps them ground themselves. Lastly, it is extremely important for them to respect the snakes: they must avoid to hurt them at all costs.

[kremlin]

I do computer work but it's not very hard and kind of boring. How do I get to do hard computer work? Do I have to go to grad school?

hi i tend to miss these because of slipshod ublock custom filters im too birdbrained to fix.

i worked for a large american technology company which sold business machines internationally for close to a decade until laid off in successful accounting fraud scheme a few years ago. started as developer, erm, pardon me, i started as

junior developer

which is a role similar to routinely-executed court jester and human meatwave conscript meant to soak up enemy bullets to cause exhaustion of enemy bullet supply and finally guy that comes in big gross truck with a pump and a tank and a big hose used to suck the shit+piss out of portable toilet/malfunctioning sewer etc. this is for when you are 20 years old or so and they hit you with this work to calm your ass down a bit. my case was cloud bullshit on ancient rickety php stack. 5% keystrokes/clicks are php, 95% remainder is jira and other members of the axis of evil. LOT of dick sucking and butt fucking. Going into men's bathroom and making eye contact with cubicle neighbor before entering stall and fearlessly making disgusting noises. microwaving fish lunch thrice daily. you get the idea. meager paycheck but six figures takehome technically

next is staff dev, wait, god damn fucking tumblr, you can't adjust fonts mid-paragraph, and Big Text is just another type of font, in case you wanted Big Specific font. fucking fuck hold on. next step is

staff developer

no effective change besides greatly increased workload (click those motherfucking jira buttons!! suffer coworker's asinine bad-faith code review comments that HE AND HE ALONE must manually accept your responses to, on HIS time, before you are allowed to click the jira buttons that start the human meat sausage factory to get your 20 line maximum change into an RC and then release and then push candidate and then prod push!! pay raise one thousand dollars annually (lol). Emails. Now you deal with project manager too. speculate as to what sorts of grievous head injuries that man must suffer daily to describe his logic. his job is like the guy from office space that brings documents from one desk to another but he randomly reorders the words on the page in-flight. make plausibly-deniable wife fucking jokes about his wife in earshot. you're almost at the top of the suffering function. next is, no fucking cute font this time, senior developer, sounds cool right, lol, lmao, "senior" "developer" is like "tallest" "midgit".

no pay increase no workload increase but now manager emails you about extremely, extremely personal issues he's facing and also makes his most difficult problems from his boss your problems. one week will pass and then they will hit you with the "we're considering you for a team lead position". answer:

NO

answer no as this is the prescribed path, you take that role, you are maxxed out in workload, you are dealing with forty employee's worth of bullshit, another one thousand dollarinos a year raise, employer has solved efficiency problem with your sanity and burnout as variables. you're supposed to quit or kill yourself within seconds of hitting 30 y/o. don't fall for tricks. say "NO" in a creative way such as "i have tabulated some data and made it into excel pie chart quantifying diff. departments work output and am considering sending it to whoever Dave is, the guy that is one or two or three report levels over your boss' head, you know, his boss' boss' boss or whatever. or say "you are harassing me sexually, racistly" that kind of shit. make threat clearly.

was worth mentioning before, throughout all of this make as many friends and as much of a splash for yourself as possible as its time to trade on that goodwill, tell your boss you want an open relationship and you're going to fuck and suck other managers, and then find the good one with the good team of old fucking geriatric guys who could never be fooled into working more than a reasonable amount daily and also can kill people with their minds since they have been sitting on the bleeding edge of computing since 1969. their boss will usually be, suspiciously, one report rank higher than everyone else. e.g. their boss has a whole other boss + his reports under him. usually small team. go to their boss, say, hi, look at me, look at my beautiful plumage and captivating mating dance, please hire me, pleassseee. his team will say no, they will say things like "I don't know about that kiddo", "That guy seems like a candy-ass", they will read your papers and look at you in the eyes and say it is not compelling, the boss will kind of hire you anyway. if he doesn't you're fucked. if he does you're now a

STAFF ENGINEER

for fifteen minutes and then

ADVISORY/SENIOR/SPECIAL ENGINEER

and the suffering is over. no code minimal jira + squad of gremlin zerglings under your boss whom you can rank-pull and delegate bullshit to, they will be mostly suckers, take advantage of this. 80% of keystrokes/clicks will be in production of beautiful wonderful lovely .docx and .xlsx's, what a godsend, only in an emergency are you allowed to fuck with your zergling's code, usually in a cool way with bullshit procedure removed.

i worked on high performance computing shit. "what the fuck do you mean 2PB or so in and out a day on flash memory", "what the fuck do you mean special infiniband intel MPI library on CD-R stored in Craig's filing cabinet???". Meetings with company people: webcams off, responses optional, snideness allowed. Meetings with client: you must have your dress shirt starched and white glove the shit out of those motherfuckers. timezones = skill issue. i don't care where germany is, i don't give a shit, wake up at 3am for a 20m meeting i take on the toilet or while eating a boiled lobster complete with cracker + lobster bib. customers countable on one hand, invoices to customers not countable with 32 bits. no fucking mistakes ever allowed except for like whitepaper drafts, you cannot fuck the pumpkin on this one, your actual job relies on your ability to hit a button and suck down a week's worth of compute and millions of dollars, boiling swimming pool's worth of TDP, one mistake that leads result data to being able to be characterized as flawed and your balls are getting ripped off. Quarterly IRL meetings = normiepilled normiemaxxing. Dress sharp. leave at 5pm on the dot, go to bar with Old Fucker coworkers, drink wrecklessly with them, have a blast, let them give you a tour of a lab you are absolutely 100% not allowed to be inside, buildings that have posted weight limits per sq. ft. exceeding 250lbs, such a blast. every paycheck a FORTUNE every dinner a banquet every meeting an email every keystroke life or death. you get to meet /lib/doug mofos too one of whom i wrote a very poor kind of poem thing about. thats about it. hope this helps