#business explanation by pete

[snugglyporos]

Pete has been told humans like the pictures! So Pete has the pictures. Pete wishes to make sure humans understand the difference between good and bad.

One of these pictures involves something called a 'bank' which Pete is told has many metal circles, and has been around for many moons and which has many many metal circles all over the world.

One of these involves something involving imaginary metal circles which then resulted in what Pete is told is a legendary fall from grace and lots of humans losing lots of metal circles.

Now, Pete is but a simple pumpkin poro! Grows the patch! Does not particularly need all the metal circles, or even most. Are not interesting to Pete.

However, Pete would like to point out that it should be very worrying if anyone tried to explain that the picture on the right is your plan. Pete is a poro and just looking at that makes Pete wonder just what they're trying to hide! Would not give his snax too. Clearly, is not good.

Pete hopes that this has been informative. Do not give your snax to humans whose idea of structure looks like a nightmare.

[omegalomania]

so im sure everyones fully well aware of the magic 8 ball site fob is using to promote a contest to win some tickets to see them in nashville. the little 8ball widget theyve got in browser is also modeled on the physical 8ball that they had in the vip merch packages for tourdust's first leg, which is cool! but of particular note is the way that, to fill out the contest form, you have to pick your favorite fall out boy songs. and the sheer breadth of what is allowed is...interesting? it's not cohesive by any means, but it is really wild the selection of songs they have here because not all of them are fob songs. in fact, quite a few of them aren't.

i went directly to the source code and got a full list of all possible songs that you could input (which you can check for yourself by right-clicking and selecting "view source"). i'm going to list them here for archival purposes, with a few notes/explanations cause some of these are WILD.

there are 187 songs total listed.

bolded songs indicate songs that are demos or never received an official release

italicized songs are songs by other bands

underlined songs indicate songs that are covers

songs with an asterisk beside them (*) indicate they are from patrick's solo catalogue. two asterisks (**) are for pete's.

additional commentary by me will be [in brackets]

20 Dollar Nose Bleed 27 7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen) 7-9 Legendary A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More "Touch Me" A Nice Myth [one of the earliest fall out boy demos, found on their first ep, and only the casette version at that] Allie* Alone Together Alpha Dog America's Suitehearts American Beauty/American Psycho (song) American Made Art of Keeping Up Disappearances As Long as I Know I'm Getting Paid* Austin, We Have a Problem Baby Annihilation Bad Side of 25* Bang the Doldrums Beat It Big Hype* Bishops Knife Trick Bob Dylan Bounce [this is a song that came out on then-Decaydance labelmates The Cab's debut record, Whisper War, which patrick produced. he has writing credit and also is credited with background vocals (and also shows up in the music video)] Caffeine Cold Calm Before the Storm Centuries Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends Champion Check Your Phone** Chicago is So Two Years Ago Church City in a Garden Coast (It's Gonna Get Better)* Coffee's for Closers Cryptozoology* Cute Girls* Cyanide** [this is a nothing,nowhere song that pete did some spoken word parts and backing vocals on] Dance Miserable* Dance, Dance Dead on Arrival Dear Future Self (Hands Up) Death Valley Deep Blue Love* [song patrick did for the indie short film "spell"] Demigods Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? Electric Touch [the (in?)famous taylor swift song patrick featured on] Eternal Summer Everybody Wants Somebody* Explode* Fake Out Fame Less than Infamy Favorite Record Fellowship of the Nerd [this is an alternate title for world's not waiting, as far as i can tell] Flu Game Flu Game [yes flu game is listed twice for some reason] Footprints in the Snow [demo from the Llamania ep] Fourth of July From Now on We Are Enemies G.I.N.A.S.F.S. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid) Golden Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy Greed* Grenade Jumper Grow Up and Be Kids [this song is on The Cab's sophomore album Symphony Soldier, which release after they left decaydance. nonetheless, pete does have some writing credits on it. give it a listen and you'll hear for yourself in the first 10 seconds or so] Growing Up Hand Crushed by a Mallet [this is a remix of the 100gecs song of the same name; patrick did some vocals for it] Hand of God Have I Got a Gift for You* [song patrick did for the horror movie black friday] Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet Heartbreak Feels So Good Heaven's Gate Heaven, Iowa Hold Me Like a Grudge Hold Me Tight or Don't Homesick at Space Camp Honorable Mention Hot to the Touch, Cold on the Inside Hum Hallelujah I Am My Own Muse I Don't Care

I Got Nothing, But You Got Something [this is the one that really perplexes me. there's no evidence of this song actually existing, other than an unverified genius post and an article on a single fandom wiki. it is inexplicably listed here despite its very existence being questionable at best.]

I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) I've Been Waiting [this is technically a lil peep song with fall out boy as a feature] I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers Immortals Irresistible It's Hard to Say 'I Do', When I Don't It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Am Thinking It Must Be Love Jet Pack Blues Just One Yesterday Lake Effect Kid (song) Lake Shore Drive [this is a song patrick covered on the piano at wrigley, first night of tourdust] Love from the Other Side Love Will Tear Us Apart Love, Selfish Love* Love, Sex, Death Lullabye Mad at Nothing* Miss Missing You Moving Pictures My Heart Is the Worst Kind of Weapon My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up) New Dreams [this is a bonus track on pax am days, a naked rayguns cover] Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner Novocaine Of All the Gin Joints in All the World One of Those Nights [another song from the cab's whisper war. this one has patrick doing vocals very prominently] Open Happiness [this was a huge collaborative piece done for a coca cola commercial. patrick was on it along with big names like cee lo green, janelle monae, and labelmates travie mccoy and brendon urie] Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued Parker Lewis Can't Lose (But I'm Gonna Give It My Best Shot) Past Life [llamania ep] Pavlove People Never Done a Good Thing* Porcelain* Pretty in Punk Rat a Tat Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over Roxanne Run Dry (X Heart X Fingers)* San Diego [this is a blink-182 song that patrick did some writing for] Saturday Saturday Night Again* Save Rock and Roll (song) Sending Postcards from a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) She's My Winona Short, Fast, and Loud Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers So Good Right Now So Much (For) Stardust (song) So Sick [this is a song patrick has exclusively covered live, so it's a fascinating inclusion] Sober [another blink-182 song patrick did some writing for] Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year Star 67 Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea Sugar, We're Goin Down Summer Days (song) [this is a martin garrix song patrick lent some vocals to] Sunshine Riptide Super Fade Switchblades and Infidelity Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today The "I" In Lie* The (After) Life of the Party The (Shipped) Gold Standard The Carpal Tunnel of Love The Kids Aren't Alright The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years) The Last of the Real Ones The Mighty Fall The Music or the Misery The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes The Phoenix The Pink Seashell The Pros and Cons of Breathing The Take Over, the Breaks Over The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys in a Broken Down Van) This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race This City* Thnks fr th Mmrs (song) [for some reason the site specifies song here, despite that not being necessary. the only other times this distinction is relevant is when songs share a title with their albums, i.e. save rock and roll] Thriller Tiffany Blews Twin Skeleton's (Hotel in NYC) Uma Thurman Untitled 1 (Colorado Song) Untitled 2 (Jakus Song) [both of these are recently released tttyg era demos] W.A.M.S. We Didn't Start the Fire We Don’t Take Hits, We Write Them [this is a song that famously was only ever performed live. we don't have a studio recording or even a demo, as only live versions exist] We Were Doomed from the Start (The King is Dead) West Coast Smoker What a Catch, Donnie What a Time To Be Alive What's This? When I Made You Cry* Where Did the Party Go Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) Wrong Side of Paradise [llamania ep] XO You're Crashing, But You're No Wave Young and Menace Young Volcanoes Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

in conclusion i have no idea who compiled this list. it doesn't include every song patrick and pete have ever touched (notice the lack of gym class heroes, cobra starship, and hush sound discography) but it has a really weird selection of songs. i mean, blink songs patrick wrote on?? its bizarre.

anyway do you think if we mass request swing me by the rafters they'll have to do it

[vedajuno]

I think Billy Quizboy and Pete White are one of the great ambiguously gay duos because the actual canon explanation for them, that Billy and Pete’s relationship with each other is so weird and complicated on several different levels that Billy straight up started telling everyone that they’re gay just so that people won’t ask about it, is genuinely so much funnier then if the writers just said they were gay. Not friends or lovers or business partners or roommates but some secret twelfth thing bullshit that would take too much elaboration so sure, actually we’re lovers, PLEASE don’t make me elaborate on it any more

[arysbruv]

Confess N’ Run!

You were Peter’s best friend, though… you always wished you were more. Yet, he never seemed that interested in you until a certain cold day.

Pairings: peter maximoff x reader

Warnings and whatnots: Friends to lovers. Angst. Fluff.

You walked in the cold winter, blowing into your hands which did basically nothing. The wind blew at you. You huffed, angry that you decided to go out today.

Suddenly, you got a call on your phone. You clicked your tongue, annoyed, as you answer the call.

“Hello? I’m kinda busy right now.” You say as you continue thrudging in the cold winter.

“Wow, I was just going to ask if you wanted company.” A familiar male voice says.

Peter.

You hadn’t even checked who was calling you but of course it was Peter. Your best friend. You’ve been friends since childhood and you absolutely loved the guy… maybe in more ways than he loved you… but it was alright, you were still his friend and he was still yours.

“What- What do you mean?”

Suddenly a colder gust of wind hits your side. You shiver as you look and see a bundled up Peter, standing beside you. He gives you a lopsided smile. You roll your eyes at him, though you were smiling under your scarf.

“Hi Pete. Nice of you to join me.”

He gives you a smile, touching your shoulder which sends a jolt throughout your entire body. You couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or from him…

“Mind if I walk you back?” He asks grinning ah you as you start walking. You didn’t even say anything as he quickly follows you. The walk back was quieter than usual. You blamed it on the cold when you knew it was probably because you were too nervous to talk to your long time crush, even if he was your current best friend.

How embarrassing, liking a boy who you see every day but only thinks of you as a friend.

You shiver, not knowing if it was from the cold wind blowing on you or from the sudden company of your crush.

“Are you alright?” Peter asks, breaking the silence. You look up from the ground which you have been staring at to avoid the cold wind. You give him a perplexed look.

“Cold.” you say as an explanation.

“Cold? It’s not even that cold!” Peter says, walking a circle around you full of energy. You roll your eyes at him. Ignoring him as you try to move away. The cold was getting to you, you clasps your hands together, rubbing them together and blowing on them. A futile attempt to maintain heat.

Suddenly, you feel a sudden weight on your shoulders. You straighten up and notice a new jacket has appeared on your shoulders. It was big and silver in colour, a plethora of patches decorating its sleeve. You look from the jacket to the now jacket-less Peter.

“Pete…” You start before he shuts you up by punching your shoulder.

“ ‘s alright, I can’t let my girl get cold now, can I?” He says, giving you a large grin and laughing to himself.

My girl.

My.

His

Could he? No… You ignore it, maybe he just meant my girl best friend or something… You weren’t his type…

Before you could do anything, he puts his baby blue beanie on your head. He gives you a giant smile as he did it. The smile. That smile that made you fold every time you saw it. Oh how beautiful was he!

You admired him as he came closer to fix up the beanie on your head. Your eyes fixed on him as he fits the beanie on your head. His hair was mess-ied with cowlicks here and there, yet, it added to his charm. Your face turns red as you notice how close you were to each other.

His eyes wander down to you. His eyes that carried so much joy and emotion. They were calm at that second, no hint of hidden energy. He stops adjusting the beanie, looking at you. He gives you a small smile before going back to pushing your hair into the beanie. You blush, and you swore you saw a small hint of blush taint his cute face.

There’s no possible way…

You quickly avert your eyes. Deep in thought of the sudden hope he just gave you. Was he playing with your feelings? You were pulled back to the reality to the sound of your name being called. You look up at him, humming in response. He gives you a small smile.

“I love you.”

He brings your forehead to his lips and gives a quick peck, before you could do anything he had run off to God knows where.

You were left standing in the cold snow, on your house’s street. Confused and bewildered on the scene that had unfolded in front of you. You stand, frozen in shock.

He kissed you.

HE kissed YOU.

You pull his jacket closer as you continue walking, grumbling that you’ll have to go out soon again to find the man who had just confessed and run.

[peacefxlmyko]

Family business

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x mom!Reader, Nick "Goose" Bradshaw x wife!Reader, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell x platonic!Reader

Ask: "I had an idea for Top Gun, the reader was “Goose”'s wife and Bradley's mother, she is in the Navy and trains the squadron for the mission with Maverick. When Maverick and his son's plane are about to be shot down instead of Jake saving them, she is the one who saves them. Cute ending if possible" by @motherofdragons1998

Tags: Fluff, Angst, obviously Top Gun Maverick spoilers, hints to Hangster 👀, Reader is a widow, Use of Y/N, Reader's callsign is Shadow

Notes: I am SO nervous to post this omfg. This is the first thing I ever wrote based off an ask and I hope I did everything right with it lmao. This is also the longest piece I have ever written. I am not 100% happy with it, but I did my best and I hope ya'll like it! Apologies for any Grammar or in general writing mistakes, English isn't my first language. I am also open for more requests/asks!

Words: 2500+

Story under the cut! ✂️

Getting the call to return to Top Gun after years definitely wasn't something you expected. And finding out that you had to train the best pilots in the world for a suicide mission didn't make your anxiety any better.

After you arrived at the Academy, you were met with Beau “Cyclone” Simpson and Solomon “Warlock” Bates and they introduced you to the Mission.

“Captain Y/N “Shadow” Bradshaw." Cyclone began. “I'm Admiral Beau Simpson and this is Admiral Solomon Bates.”

“Pleasure to meet you, sir.” You replied.

“I hope it's no problem we will be introducing you to the Mission without the other instructor.”

“Other.. instructor, sir?”, your eyes narrowed a little in confusion.

"Yes, you will be teaching the class with another instructor.” Your curiosity was sparked, but you didn't get to ask anything else as they started explaining the Mission.

“The target is an unsanctioned uranium enrichment plant built in violation of a multilateral NATO treaty. The uranium produced there represents a direct threat to our allies in the region.” Warlock started to explain.

After the explanation it as your turn to explain your view on the mission. Then, they revealed who the pilots tasked with the mission were. “We've recalled 12 TOPGUN graduates from their squadrons. We want you to narrow-”

As soon as you turned to the monitor your heart skipped a beat and your breath caught in your throat. Bradley.

“Is there a problem, Captain?”

“I just.. didn't expect to see my son there, sir.” You muttered, still a bit in disbelief.

“Bradley Bradshaw, aka Rooster. I understand his father was also a pilot? What was his callsign again?”

Ouch. “It was Goose, sir.”

“Tragic what happened.”

Daggers. With every word daggers were being stabbed in your heart. Not one day went by without you missing Nick. Your husband. The father of your son. The love of your life.

After the briefing, you headed to a nearby bar to try and gather your thoughts. As you walked into the bar, you suddenly saw a familiar figure sitting there. No, two. Two familiar faces.

“Pete?”

The man turned around with a stunned look on his face.

“Y/N?”

“What the hell are you doing here?” You walked closer to him, a smile forming on my face.

“I could ask you the same.”

“He pissed off another admiral.” Penny commented and you cracked a smile. “It's nice to see you again, Penny” You smiled and sat down next to Pete.

“Don't tell me you're going to-”

“Teach a mission here?” You completed his sentence.

“So you are the other instructor! They wouldn't even tell me!” Mav chuckled at your complaint and shook his head a little.

You heard some noises at the other side of the bar and glanced over at the pool tables. There were pilots gathered and you recognised them as the graduates that had been recalled for the mission.

A few more people joined the bar. It didn't even take you two seconds to recognise your son. Hawaii shirt, sunglasses on his nose, that damn mustache like Nick had. Bradley was the spitting image of his father. You also heard someone call out “Bradshaw! Is that you?”

You didn't want to admit it, but sometimes it hurt a little. The way Nick would have been so proud of him hurt. And knowing that you were the reason his papers were held back because you didn't want him to have the same fate as Goose.

As soon as Pete recognised Bradley he quickly turned away, as if to hide from him. “Mav, you don't have to hi-”

“I cost him years of his career.”

“I know, but that was because I wanted it that way. You did it for me, because of Goose. Don't you think it's time he finds out it was me?”

“No, god no. It'll be fine, just.. let it be.”

You sighed and turned back to your drink, taking a few sips.

“How about ringing me up before the evening rush?” Maverick suddenly said to Penny and stood up. You glanced over at Bradley, watching him with his fellow aviators. Hasn't even noticed his own mother yet. You chuckled a little to yourself.

“It's been declined.”

You snapped out of your thoughts when Penny said that to Pete and laid his credit card on the table in front of him. You curiously watched and tried to hide your amused grin.

“You're kidding.”

Soon enough, Pete was getting carried out by three pilots and you watched, not even hiding your amusement.

Then, you heard a few tones coming from the piano and your heart dropped.

“You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain. Too much love drives a man insane.”

Rooster was playing and singing “Great balls of fire”. The same song Nick loved performing, a little out of key but it was still always the most perfect thing to you. You stared at him in disbelief, his back turned to you. Other pilots were standing next to him, singing along. The whole Bar was watching him. Your little boy.

After he was finished you watched him perform a little funny dance as the bar kept chanting “Rooster! Rooster!”. God, when did he grow up so much?

You stood up and slowly made your way towards him.

“I assumed you would at least let your Mother know when you're on a new Mission?”

You could see the way his heart dropped and he looked like a toddler being caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

“Mom?” He slowly turned around to you, you had an amused grin on your face.

“This is how I find out you're back at TOPGUN?” You grinned. You could hear his friends letting out laughs and a few comments in the background. “I- uh—”

“Oh, shut up and give your mother a hug.”

________________________________________

The next day, all the pilots sat together in a hanger, ready to be taught about the mission. Admiral Bates was standing in front of them all, ready to explain.

“Your instructors are TOPGUN graduates with real world experience in every mission aspect you'll be expected to master and they are considered some of the finest pilots this program has ever produced. I give you Captain Pete Mitchell, callsign Maverick and Captain Y/N Bradshaw, callsign Shadow.”

Maverick and you walked in together, walking up to the lectern where Warlock stood at first. The pilots turned to look at you both and you could see their faces drop as some of them realized they kicked out their instructor last night.

You shot Bradley a quick small smile, meanwhile he gave Maverick a look that could kill.

You both started to talk to the class, Mav doing the most talking. After some briefing, you all got your Jets ready and then took off into the sky for some training and to show what they are able to do.

The next few days were spent preparing and training, trying to get them ready.

But once during some briefing in a classroom, a fight broke out. Hangman had made a comment about Goose and it set Rooster off, almost going for his throat but you all managed to keep them apart. Maverick dismissed them all for the day.

Bradley went back to the base to calm down, Maverick went to meet Iceman and you.. Well, you drove to the Hard Deck and sat down at the Beach there. The whole time you were lost in thoughts. Was he ready for this? Was I ready for this? Was anybody ready for this mission?

“Oh Nick..” You started to tear up. “I don't want to send Bradley out there. He's not ready. No one is! I-I can't risk losing him too! I.. I just can't lose my son too… He's my little boy.. Our little boy.. When did he grow up so much…? I need you here.. god.. I wish you were here..”

Even though he wasn't here anymore, you knew Goose was still watching over you and listening whenever he could.

________________________________________

It felt like the time until the mission flew by. It almost felt like a blur, as if it wasn't real. And burying one of your life-long friends made it even worse. Iceman could finally rest, but it was still incredibly painful. Seeing Maverick grief him made it even worse.

But in a blink of an eye, you were all on a ship in the middle of the Ocean, about to choose which Daggers would fly. You were going to stay back as Backup and Mav was going to fly with them.

You knew he was going to choose him as his wingman, but you secretly begged it wasn't true. You wished it would be Hangman, but it was going to be your son.

“Choose your two Foxtrot teams.” Cyclone said.

“Payback and Fanboy. Phoenix and Bob.” You both had decided these teams together, but the Wingman was Mav's own choice.

“And your Wingman?”

After a moment of anticipation, he finally said…

“Rooster.”

There it was. Your son was flying the suicide mission. And all you could do was listen through the comms and pray.

Everyone went on Deck and walked to their Jets. As you stood by your Jet, you looked over at Rooster and noticed him talking to Hangman. You had noticed throughout the whole preparation there seemed to be some tension and.. closeness between them. There was at least something.

You turned back to your Jet, climbing inside in case they needed Backup during the mission.

As the mission began and the teams flew away, your heart was pounding. With every minute you felt your anxiety increasing, scared for the safety of your son and also your friend.

You listened closely through the comms, listening to everything…..

“Bull's-eye! Bull's-eye! Bull's-eye!"

Yes! God, yes! They did it!

But now it was time to get back alive…

The rest of the mission was a pure air fight, raw dogfighting. They just needed to make it out alive. Please.

But to your worst fear the enemy planes were focused on Rooster.

“Dagger Two defending. Shit, I'm out of flares!”

“Rooster, evade, evade!” You heard his uncle shout.

“I can't shake ‘em! They're on me! They're on me!”

You didn't know what was happening., you weren't there. You didn't see it. All You could do was listen. Listen and wait. It felt awful not being able to do anything.

There was a moment of silence, only the heavy breathing from the pilots.

“Mav! No!”

“Dagger One is hit! I repeat, Dagger One is hit! Maverick is down!”

Your breath caught in your throat. Mav was hit.

“Dagger One, Status. Status! Anyone see him? Did anyone see him?! Dagger One, come in!” You heard the panic in Rooster's voice.

“I didn't see a parachute.”

Shit.

“We have to circle back!”

You felt your heart pumping, this was all so much. You knew this was a difficult mission, hell, a suicide mission but you still hoped this wouldn't happen!

“All Daggers flow to ECP. You have bandits headed for you.”

“What about Maverick?!” There was a strain in Bradley's voice.

“Dagger Square request permission to launch and fly air cover.” You suddenly spoke up. You had to help. You needed to help.

“Negative, spare.”

Shit!

“Dagger, you are not to engage. Repeat, do not engage.”

“Dagger Two, return to carrier. Acknowledge.”

Bradley, please. Come home safe.

You also wanted to save Maverick, but not with Bandits in the air.

The silence was killing you.

“Rooster, those bandits are closing. We can't go back.” You heard Phoenix say. “Rooster, he's gone.”

It hurt, but Bob was probably right. He was gone. He was with Goose. “Maverick's gone.”

Maverick had sacrificed himself for Rooster. Your best friend had sacrificed himself for your son….

Your heart began to pound as you realized Bradley was flying back. He wanted to save Mav. You wanted to scream at him to get his ass back to the ship, but you couldn't. He wouldn't even listen.

The not knowing was killing you. Not being able to do anything. Being stuck on the ship while your son was out there fighting for his life.

After minutes that felt like hours you heard the words you only wished to hear in your darkest nightmares.

“Dagger Two is hit.”

Rooster was hit.

You could barely hold it together anymore. You wanted to scream, you wanted to cry, but you had to hold it in.

“Dagger Two, come in. Dagger Two, do you copy? Dagger Two, come in.”

You were horrified. You might have just lost your only child and your best friend. Now you were alone.

One Minute turned into two. Two into five. Five into ten. Nothing. No reply, no sign of life.

You had no idea what the hell was going on in the tower, they weren't talking to you. Not one word. Was there a trace of the two? Were they still alive? You didn't know and it was one of the worst things you've ever felt.

After what felt like an eternity, you were finally given permission to launch and fly to their rescue after they had detected Rooster's ESAT.

Soon you saw them, they were involved in an air fight and obviously losing. You managed to bring your jet behind the enemy's plane without bringing any attention to yourself. That was the way you got your callsign. You were a Shadow, you could easily follow any planes without being noticed.

Just as they were about to shoot down Maverick and Rooster, you fired a shot and hit the bandit. The bandit was down and they were save. They were finally save and back with you.

You flew right through the smoke towards the F-14, you had never been happier to see a jet.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your savior speaking.”

There was a grin on your face, you had never been so glad.

“Hey, mom, you look good.”

“I am good, Bradley. I'm very good.”

“I'll see you back on Deck.” You flew back and were the first to land. You got out of the Jet and watched everybody put up a net to catch the F-14.

Once they were back on deck you didn't hesitate one second to run towards them. “Bradley!” You shouted.

Everybody came running towards them, cheering and congratulating them.

Maverick got out and first went to Hondo, while Bradley came running towards you.

“Oh, my boy, I thought I lost you. I thought you were gone.” You sobbed and took him into your arms.

“You're not getting rid of me easily, Mom.” He laughed and hugged you tightly, not letting you go for a while. “You're a hero, Bradley. I'm so so proud of you. Your- your dad would be so proud, god-” You teared up.

“I know Mom, I know.”

You parted from him so he could celebrate with the others. The other Daggers immediately came to him.

Once again you could swear there were looks between Jake and Rooster, but you didn't mention anything.

“Captain Mitchell! Captain Mitchell!” You then saw Bradley approach Pete. Without hesitating, Maverick pulled him into a hug. A hug that meant the World.

“Thank you for saving my life.”

“It's what my dad would've done.”

________________________________________

Days after the mission the whole Dagger Squad was sitting in the Hard Deck together, having drinks and cracking jokes. Bradley, of course, sat down at the piano and sang once again. The whole Bar chimed in and sang “Great balls of fire” with him.

“Oh! You're fine, so kindGot to tell this world that you're mine, mine, mine, mine!”

You could have sworn he took a glance towards Jake during that line.

[porschesbabydaddy]

Kinnporsche Fuck Ranking

As the name suggests, this list is a ranking of which character I think fuck from the least to the most. This is based off vibes alone, with absolutely no regard for cananical evidence. If you disagree with me that’s fine but please remember that I’m far too pretty for arguing online so I will not be accepting criticism, constructive or otherwise.

#10) Kim

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- Kim would rather die than be physically or emotionally vulnerable with someone. He saw Tawan leading Kinn around by his dick and said “yeah no not for me thanks”

#9) Pete

Honestly I think sex and sexuality is so low on Pete’s list of priorities before he met Vegas that the desire to fuck never really struck him. This has changed now that he’s living his best and most freaknasty life, but he’ll have to do quite a bit of fucking to catch up to everyone else

#8) Big

Big only fucks when the loneliness gets too heavy to handle. He either chooses men who look too much like Kinn, or look like his complete opposite. Either way it’s not a healthy choice

#7) Chay

Now this is going to come as a shock to some people, but you can’t tell me that a teenage boy with a frequently empty house and a healthy libido isn’t getting up to funny business. The limited edition Wik merch stays ON during sex

#6) Tankhun

Another controversial one, I know. While Tankhun may not fuck in the traditional sense, he’s got a devoted harem of discord kittens and he’s inventing new ways to have cybersex that should be studied by scientists

#5) Ken

There isn’t much to say here. Ken is a nasty little thotty who died making it clap on Instagram

#4) Kinn

Kinn only ranks so low because he’s a very busy man. He has to pencil his dick appointments into his Google Calendar, it’s a whole thing

#3) Porsche

Little Miss “bartending is my sidegig, fucking rich women for tips is my real job.” He took to gay sex like a duck takes to water, and that’s because sluttery is his calling

#2) Vegas

Vegas fucks like it’s his job, and that is NOT a compliment. Take a vacation day babygirl, the slut factory can afford to go without you for one day. Or at least have some orange slices and water, replenish your energy

#1) Yok

do I even need to give an explanation for this? Just look at her. Assume that whenever Yok isn’t on screen, she’s having incredibly hot and wildly acrobatic sex. Side note: She and Tankhun should have smashed tbh

[chaotic-goodsir]

Since it's Black Friday week, I'm gonna do a sort of series thing with the Hatchetverse headcanons and drabbles that have completely derailed my nanowrimo plans (curse of hyperfixation be upon ye, etc.).

They're all Spankoffski-centric, sort of, depending on who you count as a Spankoffski.

Speaking of which...

*

Ted and Pete's mom (I'll call her Annabelle, Annie for short) grew up in the bible belt in a super-religious family. She got out as soon as she could, leaving home at 18, and ended up working as a waitress in the tiny town of Hatchetfield. That's where she met Ed Spankoffski, who at the time was training to take over his family's shoe store. Annie and Ed fell in love, got married young, and had their son Teddy within a few years. 

Annie cut all contact with her parents when she left home - but she did keep in touch with her younger brother.

He was always a smart, outgoing kid, and despite their parents' disapproval he managed to get funding to study physics at a college out of state. He left home a year after Annie did, and never looked back.

At first they remained close, despite their differences. They called each other regularly. He declared himself an atheist as soon as he got away from their parents. She kept her faith, but joined her husband's more liberal-minded presbytarian church. He came out to her as bisexual, and she told him she'd suspected that since they were teenagers and that she would never stop being proud of him. 

She didn't see him in person often - he was busy with college and didn't have money to travel - but he still made it to her wedding and to Teddy's christening.

Things changed, though, when he was scouted by a secretive military agency in his final year. She didn't want him to join, but he'd made up his mind. After that, his calls became less frequent, and what little he told her about his work and life was always vague. He kept promising to visit her in Hatchetfield, but never followed through. 

The last time Annie Spankoffski saw her little brother was at Pete's christening, when he surprised her by actually showing up. She spotted the engagement ring on his hand, and demanded to know when he had planned on inviting her to the wedding. He told her it was a long time away yet - there was a big assignment coming up, he and his fiancé were both involved, and they needed to focus on that for the time being. But as soon he got the chance, he promised, he'd bring John up to Hatchetfield to meet the Spankoffski family.

Annie didn't hear from him again until a solemn, uniformed PIEP agent turned up at her door with a letter declaring her brother missing in action. Nothing could be confirmed, but the agent didn't want to give her false hope. There was no funeral, no further explanation. She never got to meet John, there was no wedding, and Pete Spankoffski grew up without knowing his uncle.

*

Years later, Annie Spankoffski (nee. Cross) is driving home from church when an advert comes on the radio. It's for some tacky children's toy that both of her sons are far too old for. She doesn't pay much attention - at least, not until the name of the toy company catches her by surprise.

It's a coincidence - it must be - but it's such a horrible, unlikely one that it makes her blood run cold. Her brother's name is already rare enough that she'd be surprised to hear that on the radio, let alone a childhood nickname that only she used.

After that, she turns off the radio whenever that advert starts. Leaves the room whenever it comes on TV (that old sailor character creeps her out - does the actor really look familiar, or is she just losing it?). She tries not to look at the posters that are plastered all over the Hatchetfield mall. 

But as Black Friday approaches, it's hard to avoid.

For some reason, almost everywhere she goes, she keeps running into the name Uncle Wiley.

[seriesxwriting]

You’re important to me

with THE Rafe Cameron.

Series- outer banks

Warnings- kissing, fighting, swearing, betting, a boy degrading main character (trying to use her for her body).

Summary- rafe gets into a fight defending you. Your angry. but then you find out he was just protecting you all along. After that he surely deserves to know how you reallyyy feel about him.

- all requests for any character/storyline are open🫶

“Hey! I saved you a seat” I patted the chair next to me turning around to Rafe. Not realising he was with his boys. They all made that “ooooo” noise that boys make when their trying to be funny. “be more immature” Rafe laughed without humor at them before walking backwards to sit down next to me.

“Sorry I didn’t see them- You can go and sit with them if you want” I whispered to him my cheeks turning slightly red at the embarrassment “Nah your more interesting” he leant back on his chair and stretched his arms out. “You’ll never guess what I heard” I whispered to him fishing around in my bag for a pen.

“What’s that?” Rafe raised his eye brow at me curious at what I had to say. I covered my mouth to stop myself laughing. “Jayden and Layla broke up” “no way! What” rafes jaw hung open. “So you win the bet” he rolled his eyes sighing giving hints that he was joking.

“I told you they wouldn’t last six months” I giggled “technically they didn’t last four either so you wasn’t right” Rafe smirked famously. I whacked him gently on the arm “don’t even try it, you owe me twenty quid…” I reminded him shoving my finger in his face. “Ugh” he groaned, reaching into his back pocket and taking two tens out handing them to me. “Why thank you Rafe good doing business with you”

“The cheek” he shook his head laughing. “Yeah yeah you won the last one so it’s fair, anyway what’s the next bet” I folded my arms sitting back in my chair. Rafe sat thinking for a second “oo wait I’ve got it” I tapped his arm to get his attention. “I bet you that Pete will ask me out by the end of this week” “what” rafes brows knitted together as if he was taken back.

“There been loads of gossip about it- have you not heard?” “Heard what” Rafe scowled wanting a deeper explanation. “Just that Pete likes me and was going to ask me on a date” I shrugged thinking nothing of it. “I’m not betting on that” Rafe told me sternly. “Why not I’ll be fun” I giggled clearly not reading his mood very well. “Because it’s not going to happen” Rafe answered with no hint of a joke. I closed one eye squinting at him. “I’m gonna talk to him” rafe decided and looked away from me. “Why?” “Because you can do better He’s a nerd” Rafe stated like it was obvious. “What if I want to go out with him” “you don’t” Rafe told me choosing for me apparently.

He stopped talking to write while I kinda sat there looking at him, my brain completely frazzled. “Well your right- I don’t but you don’t have to be a dick about it”. Rafe didn’t answer me he just continued to write his answers down in his book. “Just leave it okay?” I asked him, it was like talking to a brick wall. “I’ll see” he told me coldly. Rolling my eyes I went back to my work ignoring what ever mood he was in for what ever reason. When the lesson ended and Rafe gathered up his things, I then spoke to him.

“Why are you angry with me?” “It’s not important” Rafe sighed picking up his stuff trying to leave. I walked in front of him stopping him with my body. “It’s important to me because your important to me” I told him holding my hand on his arms to prevent him from leaving. “Can you two leave? The lesson is over” the teacher scowled at us.

“Will you just! We’re trying to talk here…” I said turning to look at him but as I did rafe walked out the class room. “See what you did” I looked at the teacher again who just shrugged his shoulders.

Rafe didn’t really speak to me much more of that day. I had no clue what was going on. But I knew he couldn’t ignore me forever and we had pe last together.

I walked out onto the track with a few other girls in my gym shorts and vest. It was boiling today, I’d managed to scrape my hair up into a ponytail because of it. I saw Rafe with his group of boys and Pete was on the other side with someone else. He waved at me when I walked out and I waved back attracting a scowl from the absence rafe.

“Seems you all like to stand around and talk so much, we’re going to run track the whole lesson” mr Branson shouted at us all. “Better get a move on!” He clapped his hands telling everyone to go. The whole class groaned as they began jogging. “This is so fucking unfair” Judith winged as the girls began. “We wasn’t even talking” another girl protested. We got round about half the track before the girls all stopped.

“Oh shit” Judith whispered under her breath standing on her tip toes looking over a crowd. I followed her eye line seeing the one and only Rafe Cameron in a circle of other people, mainly boys. On the opposite side of him I saw Pete. They were both squaring up to each other. “Oh shit indeed” I whispered in complete shock, my heart sank and I gained an overwhelming bad feeling about what was going to happen next.

“What’s happening?” One of the girls questioned waiting. Waiting for it. Rafe out of nowhere, after arguing with Pete for about three minutes, threw a right hook around his face. “Oh god no” I voiced running up the track towards the group. Rafe fighting Pete. Hot. But also not good. He picked Pete up at the waist dropping him to the floor getting in a few punches by the time I had gotten over to the crowd. I then had to push my way past several people to get into the middle.

Both the boys were up now and about to go for each other again before I sprinted in panting breathlessly. I had my back to Rafe and an arm out in front of him. Defending him. Pete looked me in the eyes with his fist in the air. “he started on me!” “It’s done now- just fucking stop it” I turned looking at Rafe with tears swimming in my eyes. With no time to lose Pete pushed past the group leaving the fight and people started backing away.

I turned my full body to Rafe. “What the hell Rafe! I told you to leave it what’s wrong with you”. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. And with that he just walked away from me. Leaving me standing there. He didn’t carry on with the lesson either he walked inside the building still full of rage. Usually when he got into fights i would always be the one to calm him down. But this time he wasn’t Interested.

After pe I was finally able to go home after the stressful day at school. Rafe had pissed me off. He hurt me too but that just made me more angry. It was about an hour after I’d gotten home that I got a call from topper. “Hey top” “y/n- I’m glad you answered we need to talk about Rafe” he told me seriously. “Is he with you?” “He was- hes been really off” “I’ve noticed” I hummed swallowing harshly. “Look I know it’s not my place but- there’s clearly something between you two” topper told me sighing over the phone. I stayed silent not knowing what to say to that. He was right but... “You need to cut him some slack- that fight today Pete deserved what he got” “no he didn’t topper, is wanting to ask me out such a crime” I half laughed suprised about how he thought this was going to help. “It is if he was going to do what he said he was on the date” topper said kinda vaguely “you really don’t think he’s in the wrong?”. I blinked sitting on my bed feeling confused. “What are you talking about? What did Pete say” “o- oh- Rafe didn’t tell you?” “Tell me what?” I interrogated, topper went kinda quite. “On the running track- Pete said he only wanted to take you out so he could sleep with you- because you’ve got a nice body” topper explained to me. My heart dropped once again. “And he was talking about how you looked in your gym clothes- rafe over heard it all- he snapped”.

I heard a car drive in into my driveway as I took in the news. “Thanks top- I have to go” I declared before hanging the phone up and going downstairs to see who was at my door now. When I opened the door I saw Pete standing there. My stomach twisted, I was home alone so I became scared pretty quickly. “Hey” he smiled shoving his hands in his pockets. “You shouldn’t be here” I shook my head going to close the door but Pete put his foot in it.

“I just wanna talk” His hands went up in defence and he stalked inside of my house looking down at me. “Seriously- you need to go- I’ll tell Rafe” I stated feeling my heart pound against my chest. “I’m just here to ask you out y/n, I’ve been waiting for the right time” he smiled. He was fucking delusional.

Out of nowhere rafes car pulls into the driveway. I watched the moment where he realised Pete was here. I hoped he wouldn’t drive away. I hoped he saw how scared I was right now. In an instant rafe jumped out of the car and sprinted towards us. “If you’ve put a single fucking finger on her” he warned, yelling and grabbing Pete by the neck pushing him against the wall. “He hasn’t- please just make him leave” I whispered backing away now. Pete tried to swing for rafe but he dodge it and landed a gnarly punch to his nose.

Pete fell but Rafe picked him up by the back of his neck. I think he had been knocked out because when Rafe threw him onto the doorstep he didn’t move. When he turned around to look at me I felt something, some sort of urge. There was only one thing I wanted to do in this situation.

I kissed him. I marched over and held his neck guiding him to me. It only took the boy a second to adjust before he passionately kissed me back holding me in his arms. “Your not angry?” Rafe whispered against my lips. I pulled away but not by much. “Topper told me what Pete said on the running track- I’m never going to be angry when you defend me” I blinked looking at the floor. “I wasn’t letting him talk like that- not about you- anyone but you” Rafe smiled weakly brushing my hair out.

“Why didn’t you tell me what he said” “because that’s nothing nice to hear- because it’s sick, because your so much more than just your body- even your looks, you mean the whole fucking world to me y/n” “Does this mean you like me back?” I questioned rubbing his neck with my thumbs. “I think you’ve known for a while I’ve liked you” Rafe chuckled looking into my eyes. Still.

“I didn’t- or i would have made a move sooner” I laughed shaking my head. “Topper gave me some- confidences over the phone” I told him twinkling at him. “I definitely owe him a thank you it seems” Rafe tucked some of my loose strands of hair behind my ear. “Are we really doing this then? You like me I like you” I questioned looking up with hope in my eyes. “I want to if you want to” Rafe whispered pressing a kiss on my forehead. “I do!” I speedily got out. Rafe nodded while he smirked that famous smirk again. “But, If anyone bets on us I’ll break their ankles” Rafe made me giggle.

Happy tears filled my eyes and I pulled my boyfriend in for another needed kiss.

[ladyluscinia]

I am of course hugely fond of the crew bonding into a stronger community and embracing Izzy as one of them. Love that they are demonstrating their conflict resolution skills and mutual support, and love even more that they do the main foundational work in the absence of the captains - first during the breakup boat era with the trauma bonding and saving Izzy's life in direct defiance of Edward, and then resolving their divides and trust issues after chasing off Edward (and by extension Stede) in 2x04.

It is SO good to see them becoming a unified front who can push back against the bosses (especially since per comedy rules Stede & Edward are probably not going to stop being self-centered no matter how democratic the ship gets 😆).

But I will say it's still very funny when people give them credit for overcoming their strong negative feelings for Izzy, because like...

I don't think those were really a factor, guys 🤣🤣🤣

The show has thrown a bit of a complication into my theory of socially acceptable mutiny in S2 (which I will probably look at more once the season wraps up), but that's mostly because the rules of "how piracy functions" are not a priority for canon to establish. I'm threading together jokes into a watsonian social system because that's fun for me. 🤷‍♀️ So even though my particular explanation is going to have to adapt, the underlying joke still rings true - the mutiny against Izzy is a disproportionately violent response to what he's doing.

Or to put it another way... Yeah, they try to murder him because they don't want to work for him (or, as several of them say, for Black Pete 😆), but it's not really anything personal. Just business.

Meaning that once he's removed from captaincy, he's back to just being a coworker who's kind of a dick. They're not friends leaving S1, but they probably don't hate him?

(Also like the Navy Plot is a lot of things but it was not a reckless endangering of the crew.)

Plus in Izzy's mind, the vast majority of his side of the conflict in S1 is rooted in either 1) Edward leaving him in an ambiguous position of non-authority by refraining from acting as Captain of the ship despite the fact everyone thinks Edward has captured them until 1x07 at least, or 2) Izzy's fairly reasonable belief that all of these guys are going to die when Stede does and are particularly stupid prisoners, not fellow crew.

Both of those problems resolve completely by 1x10. Which in retrospect probably explains a lot of the apparent Izzy-crew relationship shift between S1 and S2 for anyone still not quite clicking on that front.

(Seriously, if you like Izzy in S2 but don't get what changed from S1, try watching S1 again with the things they've made canon about his personality in mind - being in love with Edward, etc. There was a coherent subtext and it's very fun to watch.)

It's really not surprising at all that lingering animosity with Izzy isn't a problem after his short lived time in charge 🤷‍♀️ or that he gets folded into the union. After everything they've been through with Edward they feel he's not on Management's side, and he does advocate for the crew once they are, you know, actually crew.

[piastrinorris]

busy streets and busy lives • ralph penbury x reader

A strange day at work gets even stranger when you meet a man who claims he's from 1926. With no certainty as to when he can get back, you decide to take him in until that time arrives.

masterlist | prev. | next

Tags: Timewasters (series), modern!au, slow burn, mutual pining, idiots in love™, fluff, some angst, swearing and mentions of adult themes throughout, eventual adult content, alcohol content, drug content, penbury is a fanon surname

Word count: 10.6k

A/N: 5½ months. 12 chapters. 107,600 words. All for a silly little idea I threw at my friends in a discord server. Thank you for being here. <3

Also, there's a part in this that's VERY reminiscent of a certain photo that released today. (spoiler alert, it's in the chapter card lol) I swear, I wrote that almost a week ago and the video just HAD to drop today of all days, DIDN'T IT. If Joseph Quinn is in my walls, please get him out of there. That's not a safe environment for him.

“Right, so, hang about…” Connor holds his hands out in front of him, moving one out to the side as if physically placing events into a timeline. “So, back in 192-whatever, Ralph meets Nick and that lot, who we went to school with, who have… Travelled through fucking time,” he sounds exhausted just at that phrase. You nod, and he moves his hand to continue, “Ralph falls head over heels for Little Lauren. That works about as well as anybody would expect,” he raises his eyebrows at Ralph, who shies away a little. “And Ralph joins the Army.”

“French Foreign Legion, to be exact,” Ralph pipes up.

“French Foreign Whatever, yeah,” Connor nods, moving his hand again. “He hates it, he runs away back home, he ends up meeting Homeless Pete.”

“Wait!” Grace’s boyfriend suddenly shouts, waving his hands around and making everyone jump. He points to Ralph. “That’s why your name’s always been in the back of my head! You lived in the fucking Waterstones building?!” Ralph nods. “So, you were filthy stinking rich, and you left that?!”

“Well, I… I may have left out some details about… I may have… Sort of given up most of my material possessions to Laur- the other Lauren,” he gestures to Connor’s girlfriend, who makes an expression that shows Ralph she understands that she’s not who he’s talking about. “Um, before I had left. Well, after I had left for the Army, but before I… Ended up here.”

“You were really down bad, weren’t you, mate?” Connor asks, cocking his head, and Ralph cowers back into his seat.

“Yes, well. That’s all well into the past now. Ninety-seven years in the past, to be exact!”

“Fucking mental,” Scott says under his breath. “Anyway, Connor, keep going with your…” He waves his hands in front of him.

“Yeah, so, you’ve not got nothing, Lauren rejected you and you still left her everythi- God, how did you survive without us?!” Connor shakes his head. “So you bump into H.P., who brings you to our time. You get rescued,” he gestures to you, “and…”

“Can I ask,” Scott’s partner raises a finger, looking at you. “What made you take him in, then?”

You look at Ralph and shrug. “I dunno, look at him! Who’d say no to that face?” You squish his cheeks in one hand, to his indignation, and you hear the soft laughs of your friends. “But… Yeah. Once I’d found H.P. and gotten as much of an explanation as I’ll ever get out of him, it was just… So much to wrap my head around. And I couldn’t just leave Ralph to the streets, he’d get killed!” Ralph suddenly looks very fearful, grabbing a cushion to hug to his chest. “And then next thing I knew, he was setting off alarms in the flat on his first day there, so I couldn’t exactly leave him home alone, so I had to bring him with me to Anna’s that night. I barely had the time to text you lot in advance, I couldn’t exactly leave you a voice note saying “by the way, time travel exists and I’m bringing a man who was born in the Victorian era, see you at 7!” And then the days were getting ahead of me, and I couldn’t even make any sense of it myself, let alone trying to teach any of you about it, either.”

“So, what, does he have to go back at any point? To like, restore the fragile balance of the time-space continuum or whatever sci-fi nonsense this actually proves?” Grace asks.

“Well, we thought so, and that’s why we were always so vague about him “going home”,” you explain. “But then, after Brighton, he almost - he could’ve gone home, and by all we knew back then, he should’ve -” You don’t see Ralph wince in pain at that word. “- but H.P. tol- well, told,” you hold up your fingers as air quotes, “Ralph that since the others had never returned to their own time, without consequence, he decided to stick around.” You smile comfortingly at him and he reaches out to hold your hand.

“Easily the best decision I’ve ever made,” he smiles back. “Staying with you, well, all of you!” He looks around the room. “I truly… I cannot put into words how deeply it hurt to omit the truth from you all for so long, but… Well, everything just seemed to be going so well for me, for once, and I feared that… To let that slip, I might… Lose you all,” he lets go of you to wring his hands in his lap. “Entirely selfish of me, I completely understand if you all think differently of me, now -”

Anna interjects with a sympathetic, “You’d have to do a lot worse to get rid of all of us.”

“Yeah, you’re the one stuck with us, Ralphie!” Scott jokes.

“I mean…” Lauren starts, pausing for a moment. Ralph’s face goes on an emotional journey of potential heartbreak, fearing he’s lost one of his best friends. Lauren remains stoic as she finally continues, “Yeah, it’s pretty shit that pretty much the foundation of why we’re friends is a lie.”

“Literally the only thing that Ralph and I kept quiet was the whole time travel thing, because, well, it still sounds stupid saying those words out loud,” you shake your head. “But everything else, it’s all been pure Ralph. Nothing else is based off any lies, it was just to… I mean, what would you have done if he’d have told you that night you met him, that he’d got here by getting in a lift with an old man in 1926 and ended up in 2022?!”

“I’d think he was off his tits,” Lauren admits in a quiet voice, much to Ralph’s confusion. “Yeah, alright, I guess, it’s… It’s complicated, innit?”

“Tell me about it,” you reply, exhausted, and the others laugh.

“It is a bit shit,” Connor acknowledges Lauren and then the pair of you. “But we’d all probably have done something similar. I mean, fuck me, I’d probably have left him with H.P. and let him be someone else’s problem. Good job I never found you first, eh!” Connor’s light-hearted smile falters at Ralph’s fearful look.

“Again, I completely understand if any of you feel duped into being my friend and wish to use your own agency to - just, please, direct all of your disappointment towards me and not -” 

“Ralphie, babes, we’re saying we get it. Kinda. I dunno, this is all messing with my head a bit,” Grace blows out a breath, and everyone makes general noises of agreement. “But of course we still wanna be friends with you, you big nelly!”

“Yeah, we love teaching you words and things you’d never know. Now that we know why, we can teach you way more!” Scott’s eyes glisten mischievously.

“I mean, I know I’m the one who technically turned you into a bit of a Swiftie, but I’m not letting go of that any time soon,” Anna jokes, which causes Ralph to finally let out a small laugh. “And besides, whose head am I gonna pat without you around?!”

“I never meant to deceive you all,” Ralph says quietly.

“We know,” Connor reassures in the same tone, “but you didn’t really trick us into anything. And hey, it could’ve been worse. I’d rather you were a secret time traveller than a secret serial killer!”

Ralph finally lets himself smile at Connor, who returns it. He sits up a little more confidently. “I can’t tell you what a relief it will be to never have to worry about what I say anymore!”

“I mean, still, this information can’t leave the people in this room,” you explain, gesturing around to everyone. “There’s all sorts of legalities that I’ve never been able to figure out, like a passport,” you gesture to Connor and Lauren, “or setting him up with a bank account, or medical stuff -”

“I mean, surely there’s people out there who were never registered at birth or whatever, right? Maybe we just play Ralph off as one of those?” Anna asks.

“Maybe. But who do we say he is? If we call him a Penbury, as in we try and say that he’s his own relative, his last technical record from 1926 is that he enlisted, went MIA and was presumed dead,” you shrug.

“Shit, yeah, your mum does all that stuff, doesn’t she? Have a look, see what his sister’s stuff says, maybe we can sneak him in that way,” Scott leans in, and everyone else starts shuffling closer, too.

Ralph, having been sat dumbfounded for several minutes, finally finds his voice. “Sorry, but now I’m the one who’s rather lost. So… Not only are none of you ousting me, you’re planning to deceive the law for me?!”

“Yeah, didn’t you hear Anna earlier? You’re family,” Connor smiles affectionately at him, and Ralph’s ears turn pink as his lower lip trembles.

You log into your mum’s ancestry account and once again look up Ralph’s name, your eyes going wide when you see the name next to him. “Okay, so Victoria’s got about six surnames, so I’m sure we can slip you in there somewhere,” you shake your head. Having only looked at his census before, you look through the data they have on Ralph and gasp loudly. Everyone’s gaze snaps to you as you flip your phone over to show them a photo of Ralph, dated February 1926, looking exactly how you remember he did the day you met him, dressed head to toe in Army uniform.

“Oh, you could totally say that you’d been digging up family stuff and you think you’re a dead ringer for… How many generations back would that be?” Anna asks.

You count on your fingers, “Okay, so 1901… Let’s say 30 years per generation, that’s like 3 to get to you being around our age… Which would make OG Ralph your potential… Great-grandpa.” You grimace at the same realisation that Connor and Scott come to, as they point and laugh at you.

“You’re dating someone old enough to be your -”

“He’s twenty-six! Please don’t make me think of it any other way!” You wince, making everyone laugh. “Three generations of unregistered babies is a bit of a stretch…” You shake your head. “Let’s just table this for now. He’s not going anywhere for the time being, are you?” You turn to ask Ralph, who violently shakes his head, still blinking his tears away. “There we go. So, let’s just let everything… Sink in, for now. And we’ll keep thinking of what to do in the long run.”

Ralph hugs everyone goodbye extra tightly. You offer an extra apology to all of your friends, yourself, but they all echo the earlier sentiments that they would have done the same if they were in such a predicament. That they probably would have talked you out of keeping Ralph fugitive for as long as you have. That, if anything, they’re grateful you never gave them the chance to advise you, because if you’d listened to them, none of you would have him in your lives, and one thing everyone in the room agrees on is that life’s been far better with him in it. You have to practically frog-march Ralph out of the door as he starts getting misty-eyed again.

Once you and Ralph are laying in bed, you cuddle up to him, wrapping your arm around his torso. “How you feeling, now?”

“I can’t feel much less than spectacular with you in my arms, my love,” Ralph smiles as he holds you even closer to him.

“Not just all the mushy stuff, you big sap,” you tease. “I mean, like, having to tell everyone.”

“Ah. Yes, well. That went far better than I ever imagined,” he admits softly.

“Wanna admit now that you mean a hell of a lot more to people now that you’ve found the right ones?” You look up at him with a grin.

He squeezes his arm around you to prompt you into leaning up to kiss him. Once you break away from him, he sighs happily. “I suppose, it’s a comfort to know what real friendship is supposed to feel like.”

“Exactly. You don’t give up on the right people. And you’re our right person,” you nuzzle into his neck and he buries his face in your hair.

“That sentiment is more than mutual. Goodnight, my love. Pleasant dreams.“

“Night, Ralphie. Love you, too.”

The next morning, you and Ralph both have the day off, a rare occurrence that you’re extra grateful for today. Of course, you’d love to spend it doing more of what you’d been doing just yesterday, but you’d rather be extra safe and get Ralph some protection, as well as your own birth control. And you needed to go into town for some other things, anyway. You decide to take Ralph with you, though - mostly, so that you can coach him into being able to buy his own condoms without spontaneously combusting on the spot.

Ralph wants to ask his boss something, too, so you head to the old high street where his shop is. While you do love his colleagues, you know that Babs will insist on you two staying for a cup of tea. And then another. And then she’s made you lunch. And then you’re spending your whole day off at Ralph’s workplace. Which honestly, has been fun when it’s happened before, but you do have things on your personal agenda today. And then when they’re done…

You wave to Babs through the shop window when you hear some vaguely familiar voices approaching.

“Nah, bruv, I think your mate Pete got his maths all mixed up, this ain’t when we left here.”

“Maybe we’re in whatever year he just wanted to come back to.”

“Nah, mate, I told him, clear as mud: take us back to the present day.”

“Okay, but Jase, you do realise we’ve travelled back and forth between multiple decades since -”

“Shhh, shut the fuck up, someone’s right there! We should just ask them.”

“Fantastic idea, sis. What do you want to do, rock right up and say, ‘Hello, completely normal and unaware person. Could you, for no strange reason whatsoever, happen to tell me what year it is?’?!”

You’d most certainly know that voice anywhere. Looking over at your high school crush, you smirk at Nicholas, his sister and his friends as you tell him, “March 15th, 2023.”

All four of them look incredulously at you. You can see some cogs turning behind their eyes until, finally, Jason shouts your name out. You grin and nod at him, and he yells, “Fuckin’ ’ell! How the fuck are you?!”

“Yeah, I’m alright. Still kicking about, you know how it is. What about you lot? You must’ve been… Busy.”

“Yeah! Yeah, um… Quick question, how did you…?” Nicholas starts, but pauses, trying to think of how to articulate himself.

After a few seconds, Lauren scoffs, “How’d you know to tell us what the date is so calm, like?”

“Well…” You singsong in a high-pitched tone as the door to the costume shop swings open again. Ralph emerges, to a series of shocked gasps.

“Fucking hell, doesn’t he look the spit image of -”

“Yeah, if you just slick his hair right down, and put him in a bow tie and a straw hat, I reckon - Here, you wouldn’t happen to have a great-grandad or something called Ralph, would you?”

“Wait!” Lauren shouts, holding her hands out. She studies Ralph intricately, who looks as though he’s still processing the sight in front of him. “You look just like Ralph, but all modern-like…” She points to him, and then to you. “And you know that we’ve been… In a different time…” She sticks her head out and squints her eyes back at Ralph. “Are you -?” He nods, still stunned into a wide-eyed silence.

Horace raises his arms in an excited greeting. “Ralph! My boy! We thought you’d died!” He pulls him into a hug that sweeps him off his feet. Ralph hangs against Horace’s body as though he were a ragdoll, his face still bewildered. “Let me take a good look at you,” he says as he puts Ralph down, before letting out a single cackle. “Ha, look at you! Look at this jacket, these chains! You’re a proper modern man, ain’t ya, with your sunglasses and your - How’ve you been, what you been up to?!”

“How did you get here?!” Nick asks in disbelief. You recap very quickly how Ralph found Pete - deliberately redacting that he’d attempted to return home to them - and ended up here, where you’d found him and taken him in.

Just as you finish explaining, someone approaches you with an, “Excuse me?” They tap your arm, but lean around you to look at Ralph and nod with a smile, “I thought that was him! Ralph from Twitter, right? Oh my god, I wish my phone hadn’t died, or I’d so ask for a selfie with you!”

Four confused faces look over at Ralph, but you wave the stranger off with a, “Not to worry! I can take one on his phone for him to tweet, if you want? And then you can save it for yourself when you’re home?”

“Oh my god, would you? That’s so sweet! Thank you!” They gush before posing for a photo with him. You quickly get their Twitter handle to include in his tweet, and wave them off as they walk away with a spring in their step.

“What was all that, then?” Jason asks with amusement. “Ralph from Twitter?!”

“Long story. I never told my friends Ralph was from the 1920s, so they thought anyone his age should be on Twitter by now. He kept tweeting inane shit that he thought he was Googling, people found it hilarious, and now he’s sort of social media famous,” you explain with a shrug, to everyone’s laughter.

Lauren looks Ralph up and down, not unlike the way Ralph looks at you, and rubs her hands together. “Famous, eh? I like the sound of that. Sounds like we’ve got some catching up to do, eh, Ralph?”

You feel rage burn through you at the audacity that Lauren has, clearly only interested in Ralph for a chance at fame herself. At how she could so outwardly come for your man - though, granted, Ralph’s been too shellshocked to make that much clear.

You, yourself, start to freeze up as you look over at him. What if this is it? The validation he’d been craving for so long? A second chance at the love he’d felt so strongly about losing, he’d fled the country. If he was willing to risk losing it all after having his heart broken, what else would he be willing to lose to win her back?!

Finally, after what feels like an eternity of silence, Ralph takes a deep breath in. “I don’t think there’s anything more to be caught up on.” He holds your arm to smile warmly at you, “You captured everything perfectly, darling,” before leaning in to kiss you. Jason and Horace hoot and holler, while Lauren makes a disgusted face.

“Fair enough. Rather you than me, anyway, I’d probably get sick of him after a while,” she sneers.

“Good job I won’t, then, eh!” You flash a sickly sweet grin at her as you wrap your arms around one of Ralph’s, hugging it tightly.

“Looks like you really are out of a shot, mate,” Jason grins at Nick, who shoves him.

“Give over, that was -” he flusters, and you laugh, which he sighs at. “Okay, well, so as to explain myself and not sound like a complete lunatic, I, uh… Might have had a bit of a thing for you in school, but I was always too chicken to do anything about it. And even though that was years ago at this point, apparently I’m not allowed to live it down,” he forces a smile on his face, making you laugh harder.

“If it’s any consolation, that was mutual, by the way,” you smirk. You feel Ralph tense under your grip and bury your head against his bicep. “But I don’t think it was meant to be, in the end.”

“God, can you imagine, in another universe, it would’ve been you and Nick, Jase and Victoria, and Lauren and Ralph!” Horace laughs before faltering. “But then who’s left for me?”

You shake your head. “What are you lot planning on doing in terms of living somewhere?”

“Dunno, we brought some stuff over from different time periods in the hopes we could make some big money off some antique dealers,” Nick gestures to the bags they’d placed on the ground while talking to you.

“Good luck, things have changed a lot in the last, what’s it been, six years for you? Yeah, the housing market’s a fucking nightmare,” you shake your head.

“Paying over a thousand pounds a month to live in a shoebox, I ask you,” Ralph mutters under his breath in disgust. You shoot him an offended glance and he simpers back, “But I’d live in a matchbox if it meant living with you, my love.” You grin back, angling your cheek for him to kiss it, to more retching sounds from Lauren. 

“Well, I was wondering if we could chance our luck with Ralph’s place, but seeing as though our only way in would be claiming Jason’s son left it to us in his will, when he’d be older than us in this time…” Nick shakes his head, and you and Ralph look incredulously at him.

“Sorry, what?! Ralph’s place?! You mean the big fuck-off mansion they lived in? That’s a Waterstone’s now, and even if it was, there’s no way you’d afford a place like that -”

The others look at you in confusion. “Victoria told us that the house was destroyed in an air raid,” Nick explains slowly.

You shake your head, pointing towards the bookstore. “Go look for yourself, plaque’s still there, and everything. She ended up spending all the Penbury fortune, went flat broke.”

“Explains a lot,” Lauren mutters under her breath.

“Yes, well, anyway!” Jason raises his hands up, as well as his voice. “I’m on about the one that Victoria ended up getting when he di- well, ‘died’, I guess,” Jason holds up air quotes over the word ‘died’. You both stand there in stunned silence, so he explains, “Vic said she found a letter from your dad, before the place got bombed, or… Whatever the fuck actually happened to it, it doesn’t matter, now. The letter was meant to go to his lawyer but I guess he never got to give it to him before… Well,” he gestures, and you both nod in understanding. “Anyway, so in this letter your dad had written, it said that he’d bought an extra place, for if you were to ever go off to war and want a place to come back that was all your own,” he gestures to Ralph, who swallows hard.

“Father bought… Bought me a house?!” He asks, stunned.

“He wrote some bullshit in there about how it might help you start a family and keep the Penbury name intact, that your… ‘pursuit of a wife would be easier if you already had a place of your own’,” Jason pulls a face and shakes his head.

Ralph nods in understanding, pressing his lips together with a faltering, “Now that sounds like Father.”

“So, when you ‘died’, Vic claimed that she had the right to inherit that house, and that’s where we lived. And, um… I sort of… Gave you a nephew?” Jason smiles weakly at Ralph. “But he went off and started his life elsewhere, and fuck knows what happened to him.”

“Hmm, I thought I could maybe blag our way into claiming that Jase is entitled to inherit it, too, because of the family name, but I doubt it, if JJ never came back for it. I seriously doubt Victoria’s still going,” he shakes his head. “Never mind, we’ll just start flogging this stuff and go from there. Anyway! Insane to see both of you, together, at the same time, but, y’know. Glad to see you’re both well, now.” Nick smiles at you both, and you nod.

“Good to see you guys, too! Helps put things at ease that the whole time travelling thing doesn’t make the universe implode on itself.” They laugh, and you look over at the building next to you before nudging Ralph. “Hey, they could probably try selling some of their stuff to your shop, couldn’t they?”

“There’d be no harm in trying,” Ralph agrees. “Though I should warn you, the owner is a tad… Eccentric.”

Lauren scoffs, “Fuck me, if Ralph’s calling someone eccentric, they must be a raving fucking lunatic!” She picks up one of the bags and heads to the door, slapping Ralph’s arm as she walks past him. “See you around, yeah?”

“Y-Yes, of course. All of you,” Ralph smiles, shaking the other men’s hands as they all pile into Ralph’s workplace.

Your mind starts trying to work in rapid fire, trying desperately to connect dots that seem impossible to connect. Thankfully, Ralph for once manages to keep you on task, even managing to buy what you’d asked him to - though instead of working up the nerve to seek out a cashier, he’d opted for the equally challenging task of trying to operate a self-service checkout while you frantically Google every little bump in the road you come across - though on incognito mode, of course, just in case.

Once you’re sitting down together in a cafe, waiting on your lunch, you finally try and articulate your train of thought to Ralph. “Look, all you need to prove that you’re a rightful heir is a name, a story that you’re related, and three months’ worth of proof that you live somewhere. So, granted, we’re gonna need to find something to sign you up to that’ll mail you stuff, but after that, in just three months, we might be able to get that place!”

“Well,” Ralph starts, wringing his hands together on the table. “Babs was telling me something about - about the taxes she has to file, apparently there’s some sort of form I have to be given at the end of the month, I didn’t say anything because she’s the one that pays me, but she had said something about deducting it from my pay already, it’s a… System I couldn’t wrap my head around,” he shakes his head. “But she did say… That if I’m asked to prove anything about my pay, she also has my official pay slips in her possession.”

You look at him incredulously. “So, what, they have your work’s address on them? As if you live there?”

“Not quite… She asked for our address some time ago, and I assumed it was in case of emergencies so I told her, and so I suppose that’s what she’s submitted on the slips. She said that she never sends them because there’s no point, if we want them, we can simply ask her.”

You’re practically vibrating in your seat with excitement. “So, we can take those… With your name on… Make up some story about how we found a photo online of your great-grandad who looks just like you and found out he owned that house…” You grin at him. “And it’d be ours!”

Ralph deflates a little. “I wish I could share your enthusiasm, my love, but I fear our luck has run out by now. I mean, surely I’d need a legal record, too!”

You shake your head furiously. “It only says they might ask, online. And you’ve charmed your way out of identification before on countless occasions, what’s one more time?! “

“It’s just an awfully big risk, I mean, what if we get caught? What if we’re imprisoned, questioned - would they even believe what happened with me? It’s just too close to being impossible!”

“Exactly!” You slap the table a few times before grabbing Ralph’s hands to hold them. “Everything about us is just shy of being impossible. You are a 26 year old man who was born in 1901. I am someone who’d given up entirely on love until I literally walked right into meeting my literal soulmate.”

Ralph smiles bashfully, “I wouldn’t have thought you believed in soulmates.”

“That’s my point! I didn’t either! I never would have! But you make the almost-impossible entirely possible. You made an entire life for yourself here where you are loved and admired by literally thousands of people, including the most ride-or-die friends you could have asked for. That are, probably right this second, also researching how to keep you here as long as we possibly can. Who can say they’ve got friends like that, hm? You think Victoria and all her little pals would put that much effort into keeping her around?” Ralph shakes his head. “Right. Because you’re special, Ralph. I know it. We all know it. Just… Come on.”

“But there’ll be inheritance tax, surely,” he counters, “and then, what? I haven’t paid tax in… Ninety-seven years!”

“So, if that happens, we do what Anna says. Once we’ve established that you’re definitely entitled to the house in the name of Ralph Penbury, we spin a tale that you were never registered. Sure, you’d probably be lumped with a load of tax to pay back, but…” You tut out a breath as you think before gasping, clapping and holding his hands again. “What if, we get the house, but I tell my parents we’re buying it, rather than inheriting it?! Get them to give me a loan for a deposit, you use it to start paying off tax stuff, and then instead of all our money going on rent, you can pay the tax people back and I can pay my parents back.”

“It all sounds rather hair-brained,” Ralph states, but with a smile that says he believes in the cause.

“It’s completely hair-brained,” you admit with a nod. “It’s insane and out there and nobody in their right mind would actually think it works. Which is what’s gonna make it work. Right?”

“It’s just - It’s the risk,” Ralph shakes his head, but you pull his hands up to your mouth, kissing his knuckles.

“Ralph Do-You-Have-A-Middle-Name? Penbury.” He laughs. “I am so… Ridiculously, madly, insanely in love with you that I would be willing to put my entire life on the line for you. I would quite literally risk it all.”

Ralph’s ears burn red as he smiles bashfully. “And you call me the hopeless romantic.”

“God, I know. I guess you’ve corrupted me, too,” you pull a face, and he laughs.

“You’re right, though. What sort of man would I be if I didn’t heed my own word? Though I may have far less to put on the line… I would do anything for you, my love. As long as I still have you, I will have everything.”

“Trust you to out-fluff me,” you smirk. “So, you’re willing to give it a shot?”

He takes a deep breath in, and finally nods. “Very well. Whatever happens, we shall have each other, always.”

You kiss his hands again with a grin. “Always.”

~~~

The clang of metal against metal as the door shuts behind you makes you jump out of your skin. “Jesus fucking Christ, warn someone when you’re doing that, won’t you?” you glare over at the uniform-clad man as he wrenches his key out of the lock.

“If it’s too loud for your delicate little ears, sunshine, don’t stay so close,” he sneers.

“Got no choice, have I?” you ask, rolling your eyes and gesturing down, and an almost wicked smile creeps along the man’s face.

“That’s what you get, ending up in a place like this where people like you don’t belong,” he tuts, shaking his head. “If you can’t hack it…”

“Oi, dickhead,” a voice calls from behind you. “You’re all done, now, ain’t ya? If you want to keep that face of yours arranged the way your mother made it, you’ll jog on.”

He looks at you with a smug frown, waggling his eyebrows, “That really the sort of thing you want to be known for? Dangerous reputation around these parts.”

You groan, leaning down to press your forehead into the knuckles holding your car door open as you’re standing halfway in it. “Just get that lorry of yours out of my parking space before I get done for being on double yellow lines, yeah?” The man kisses his teeth as he clambers back into his vehicle and drives away. You pull a face as you put on a mock voice, “‘Get a man with a van’, they said. ‘It’ll make your move so much easier’, they said. Prick. Thanks for helping me deal with him,” you simper at Ralph’s friend Charlotte as she scoops up a box from the pavement.

“Yeah, well. Someone’s gotta put pricks like that in their place, and it sure as shit ain’t our Ralphie,” she scoffs, and you chuckle. "Want me to go grab him so you lovebirds can say goodbye?” She says in a joking tone, pulling a kissy face at you.

You laugh, “Says the person who can’t go twelve seconds without sucking on Yankee-Doodle’s face in there,” you waggle your eyebrows.

“You’re lucky I like you, d’y’know that?” she teases, sticking her tongue out at you before turning on her heel, laughing as she faces away from you and sees Ralph emerging out from the front door of his townhouse. She wolf-whistles as the two cross paths, which Ralph looks very confused at, to your amusement.

“Sorry I have to go into work,” you pout your lower lip out in a frown as he approaches you. “They’re just so short-staffed, and I -”

“Don’t you fret, my love,” he interjects, leaning in to press a quick peck to your lips. “You must go where you are needed. Not to worry, we will remain hard at work here, and then when you return, you can relax in your new, furnished home.”

“Our home,” you correct him. “It is yours, after all. I just can’t believe that this is all real.”

“I’ve felt that way for some time, myself,” Ralph admits softly, stroking your cheek with the backs of his fingers, and you feel yourself physically melt against your car door.

“Right, I’m going before I end up feeling even worse about leaving you guys behind.” You pull Ralph in for another, longer kiss, carding your fingers through his curls as he cradles the back of your neck. A laugh bubbles between your lips as you murmur against him, “This isn’t helping!”

“Ah, what’s one more minute of them not having you?” he smiles coyly at you, and you raise your eyebrows at him.

“What if they said that about me coming back home to you, hm?”

Reluctantly, Ralph steps away. “Very well. Have a wonderful day, darling. Travel safely.”

You turn your nose up and shake your head. “Nah, think I’m gonna finally live life on the edge today.” Ralph gives you a look that tells you he isn’t amused, and you grin back, blowing him a kiss. “Be good!”

“When aren’t I?!”

~~~

You’re not sure that you’ll take the train every time you have to go to work, now; despite it being quicker, having to actively pay both ways and being sandwiched amongst so many people just doesn’t seem worth it. Still, today of all days, you wanted to get home as quickly as you could, despite all the local landmarks tempting your inner tourist. You’ve got all the time in the world now to explore them, and besides, it’d be far more entertaining showing them all to Ralph.

You unlock the door and are immediately greeted by the smell of something cooking, something really good. You step through the hallway and into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe as you watch Ralph reading from a recipe book, squinting close to the page as he drags his finger across each line of his next instruction, his mouth moving along with every word. "Looks like you could do with some glasses," you pipe up, and Ralph yelps in surprise as he looks up at you.

"Hello, my love! Welcome home! Um, I didn't hear you come in, my apologies, I'd have met you at the door if I'd have known."

"It's okay," you soothe as you stride over to him, pulling him into a deep kiss. "What's this in aid of, is everyone staying for dinner?" A pang of disappointment strikes your chest. As much as you love yours and Ralph's friends, you were sort of hoping to have your first night in the new house alone with him.

"Not tonight, darling, this is in aid of you!" Ralph smiles over at you. "Since I have been learning, and you have been working so hard at your shop, especially juggling it all with sorting out the house and you've still been the one to make countless meals for us, I thought I would try and make your favourite meal."

You let out a small, happy whimper, kissing his cheek. "As long as it hasn't been stressing you out. Do you want any help?"

"Well, I suppose now that you mention it, I do need somebody to stand right there and just look casually beautiful, and - well, would you look at that, you're a natural!" He beams over at you, leaning in to kiss you again.

You grin bashfully, hiding your face in his shoulder. "God, look at what you've done to me! You've made me all mushy and shit."

"Happy to help, my love," he smiles, pressing one more kiss to your head before returning to his recipe.

"Sure you don't want me to help? Read things out or anything? I don't want you straining your eyes," you frown.

"Well, it's not as though I can get my eyes tested, is it?" he asks as he continues preparing food.

"But if it's just a case of reading close-up, you can get reading glasses over the counter in the shops," you explain.

"But aren't glasses rather… Unseemly?" he asks with knitted brow.

You shake your head. "If anything, the right ones would make you appear very, very… Seemly," you pull a face, not knowing if that was the correct term to use or not, and Ralph laughs gently.

"Just go and get comfortable, my love. I will call for you when dinner is served."

"Oh, yeah, forgot we have a dining room with a table, now," you smirk. "Just look at us, living the high life!"

Ralph gasps, "Oh, speaking of! Hannah left us a housewarming gift, she donated her tee-vee so that we could have one in our bedroom, as well!"

The way Ralph elongates the letters in TV so deliberately will never not charm you. "That was nice of her! How come?"

"She's moving in with that girl she met last month. All seems a bit fast-moving, if you ask me."

You look at him incredulously. "Look who's talking!"

"Yes, Hannah did point out something similar to me," he admits, ears blushing. 

You chuckle as you navigate your way through to your new bedroom. It seems strange, your familiar furniture against such an unfamiliar backdrop. Every room looks so dated - naturally, it hadn't been touched since the 50s, apparently. Still, that Pinterest board you've been working on for years is finally going to go to good use.

Your heart swells when you see the bed littered with rose petals, a classic touch that has Ralph written all over it. You explore all the dressers and wardrobes in the room, familiarising yourself with where Ralph and your friends have decided to unpack your things. You open up your underwear drawer, thumbing across the carefully-arranged bras with a smile. Finding a particularly intricate number, you fish for its matching underwear, and decide to change into it. Ralph did ask you to slip into something more comfortable, right? You find something flattering to put over the whole set and rejoin him downstairs.

He's stirring something in a pan, looking rather proud of himself, when you get back to the kitchen. This time, you tap your knuckles against the door to make your presence known, so as not to surprise him. However, once he sees you, Ralph immediately drops the utensil he's using back into the pot with an almighty clatter, his jaw visibly dropping. You smile bashfully and he clears his throat, "Forgive my reaction, my darling, but you look positively ravishing."

In Ralphspeak, you know that's the equivalent of him calling you the closest thing to sexy he's probably willing to say. At least, for now. Maybe you've still a little corruption left in you. Still, it's enough to cause your heart to race. "You like?"

"I love. I mean, of course, I love you no matter what, but…" He blows out a breath that tickles the curls that hang across his brow. "You really do look absolutely delectable."

After a lingering moment, you manage to tear your eyes away to look at what's cooking. "Speaking of, so does this! You sure I can't be of any help?"

"Not at all, my dear, it's just about ready to serve. And just in time, so I can no longer fear about getting too… Distracted," he smiles coyly, looking you up and down the way he always does. There's something a little different in the way he looks at you, though. A different sort of gleam illuminates his eyes. One that makes you want to wolf down your food, drag him up to the bedroom and pull him on top of you.

But still, he's worked hard on this meal, and he looks so proud of himself. Though he dishes up, he still rushes ahead of you into the dining room to make sure he pulls out your seat for you, guiding the chair back with you as you readjust it and kissing your cheek before lighting a candle you vaguely recognise as an old secret Santa gift that you never ended up using, and going back for your food.

You exchange stories about your day: you, about the stresses of working short-staffed on a weekend during a school holiday, meaning a terrifying crossover of screaming babies and toddlers, chaotic children, less-than-trustworthy teenagers and overly-entitled adults; Ralph, about all the different ways your friends almost broke almost every piece of furniture you own while trying to get it into the house. Both equally stressful for you to recount.

At first, once you're done, Ralph insists on cleaning up after himself, but after a lot of pouting, eyelash batting and gentle touches, you coax him out to sit in the living room - another whole room dedicated to one thing, you've not lived like this since you moved out of your parents' - and cuddle up to him on the sofa.

Your embrace barely lasts a minute before your lips are on his, again. He’s desperate to get as close to you as he can, clawing at your clothes as he presses the kiss open. Holding the back of his neck to steady yourself, you move yourself up to straddle his lap, letting your tongue slip into his mouth and moaning at the sensation of his against yours. He echoes you as his hands slip down your sides to squeeze your hips. You buck them under his touch, feeling his erection grow beneath you.

He chokes out a soft, “May I?” as his fingers curl around to grip at the fabric of your top. You nod, sitting back and holding your arms up to let him take it off of you. He starts trying to fold it up behind you but, impatient, you take the garment from him and blindly throw it behind you, holding his face to kiss him again.

He takes your hands into his own and guides them back down, his kisses moving from your lips, down your jaw and to your neck, where he finds an especially sensitive spot and stays there, kissing it over and over again, all while muttering sweet nothings to you. “You are so very beautiful, my darling… How fortunate I am to be this intimate with you… Just exquisite in every conceivable way…" You rock your hips faster at his words, throwing him off his train of thought entirely as he sits back and watches you lustfully.

His gaze isn't trained on your face, though. Instead, he's transfixed on the way your breasts move, both from your heaving breaths and from grinding on him. Biting your lip, you wrap a hand around the back of his neck and start pushing it towards you as his tongue just pokes out enough to wet his lips. "Wanna put that mouth to better use?" You ask as you guide him closer to your chest.

He gasps in soft delight, looking up at you gleefully. "Are you quite sure?" You nod and his face melts into one of pure ecstacy. "Thank you, my love," he mutters before taking one of your nipples into his mouth. 

His plush lips press against your flesh as he kisses, sucks and licks at your nipple. Biting back a moan, you rest your hand in his hair, ruffling it slightly and muttering with a smile, “You like that, don’t you?” He hums out an mm-hm that vibrates against your skin, and reaches up to play the other nipple between his finger and thumb. You keen towards him, grip tightening and head bending down to him as you groan loudly, “Fuck, that’s it, good boy!” Words you’d never have thought you’d say in such a context fly out of your mouth so easily, and you could swear he sounded like he was chirping with happiness as you said them.

He moves away from the breast he’s suckling on, pressing one more brief peck to your wet, hardened nipple, and starts to focus on the other, still brushing the other nipple with the backs of his knuckles. You whine, whimper and moan as your still-clothed cunt begs for sweet release. You’re constantly amazed at how quickly Ralph can bring you to an apex few had ever even managed to. “God, Ralph, need you so bad.”

“Of course, please forgive me, got rather carried away there,” he mumbles apologetically to you, but the kiss you press to his forehead tells him there’s nothing for him to be sorry for. Ralph looks around, his brow furrowing. “Um, I don’t wish to diminish the mood at all, but there doesn’t seem to be an awful lot of… Space, here.”

You cock your head, smiling coyly. “You wanna go to the bed you prepared for this exact occasion?”

Ralph returns a smaller, more sheepish smile, his ears tinting. “Ah, you noticed. I suppose, of course you did, it would be difficult not to. Still, was it alright? Or too much?” His face falls. “It was too much, wasn’t it?”

You fleetingly frown in thought. “A little, yeah.” Your expression quickly changes back into a grin, though. “But it was your brand of too much, which makes it perfect.” You lean back to unbutton his shirt. “Unfortunately, my brand is not being patient enough to wait that long.”

“I wouldn’t say that of you, you were rather patient with me all those months,” Ralph notes pointedly, and you laugh.

“Yeah, you used it all up!” You climb off of him, slowly sliding the bottom half of your outfit off, but leaving your underwear on. Looking over at him gawking, you smirk, "You sure you want this? Not exactly dressed for the occasion."

He reaches up to stroke the pad of his thumb across the intricate design of your underwear. "Of course, you had been wearing a matching set, but it was I who became so impatient that I missed out on seeing it in full, my deepest apologies, my love, I - well," he suddenly, hurriedly slips himself out of all his clothes, leaving them in a heap by his feet, making you giggle again.

"Maybe I'll still let you see it," you tell him suggestively, hooking your thumbs into the elastic of your panties. "Maybe I'll wear it all again and take some photos on your phone." With nothing left to cover it, you watch Ralph's cock twitch at the idea and bite your lip to compose yourself. "Maybe," you continue as you slowly push your underwear down your thighs, "I'll leave a video or two, as well." You watch his face as you let them fall past your ankle, stepping out of them and walking back over to him. "What do you think?"

"I think you spoil me, my love," he smiles softly. He reaches down to the jeans he'd all but ripped off of himself, fumbling through a pocket until he pulls out a condom and starts to put it on himself.

Watching the act of him wrapping it around himself and sliding it down is almost enough to totally distract you from your initial thought. Almost. "Did you really just have a condom just sitting there in your pocket? And you make out like I'm the horndog!"

Ralph blushes, "Yes, well, I sort of… Hoped we would… Christen the place, so to speak.”

You climb into his lap, hovering yourself to line up with where he’s holding his shaft. “I like that idea,” you smile softly before sliding yourself down onto him. You both let out staggered moans as you let yourself get used to the sensation of being filled by him, before kneeling yourself up to the point where you can just about feel his tip still inside you and then sinking yourself back down.

His hands grip your hips tightly as he moans your name. You repeat the motions a few times, revelling in the way it feels to drop onto him, having him enter you so deeply and so quickly. You soon start to feel an ache, though, and decide to pace yourself, keeping him bottomed out inside of you and grinding against him until you feel rested enough to go again. 

You can see Ralph’s mouth constantly silently moving, as though he wants to keep complimenting you the way he always does, but he’s too blissed out from feeling you clench around him, your cunt gripping his cock tightly with no intention of ever letting him back out of you again. You especially try to make sure you commit the face he makes every time you pull yourself out just to fuck yourself back down onto him again, to your memory, knowing that just remembering the way he reacts to you would be enough to turn you on, if you ever needed anything to fuel your imagination.

At one point, while you’re rocking your hips with him inside you, you finally manage to get yourself at just the right angle to hit that sweet spot that Ralph is always able to find. Keeping yourself at the same angle, you move yourself even faster, moaning louder and more often.

Ralph seems to notice, and does his best to hold you in place as he bucks his hips up underneath your weight. You curl yourself forward, arms wrapped around his shoulders and face buried in his neck as he fucks you from where he sits beneath you. Knowing how good it makes you feel when he mutters sweet sentiments to you, you mumble against his skin, “Feel so good, Ralphie… You always know how to, you’re fucking amazing… So good to me, so sweet, my Ralph, no-one else’s… My sweet and handsome boy, knows just how to please me, fuck.” 

."He whimpers and whines, music to your ears as you feel your climax start to build again. “Oh, god, Ralphie, I’m so clo- Oh my god,” you groan as he starts to massage your clit in rapid circles. “Oh, fuck, yes, so good to me, thank you… Wish I could, do more for you.”

“- Already do the absolute most, darling,” he soothes. “’M already embarrassingly near to finishing, myself.”

You shake your head, “Nothing to be ashamed of, not at all, god, please cum for me, Ralphie, and I will for you, please?” Ralph completely falls apart beneath you at your words, moaning your name and digging his fingers bruisingly into your skin. You feel yourself becoming one with him as you ride out your orgasm.

He wraps his arms around your hips, cradling you on his lap, and you rest your forehead against his as you both breathe heavily, intertwined in body, in breath, in spirit. You’d never, ever thought you’d even ever contemplate the idea a year ago, but in this moment, you really are certain that Ralph is your one true soulmate.

He leans in to envelop your lips with his own in a sweet and passionate kiss before muttering, “Forgive me, my love, but I do rather need to take care of…”

You whine indignantly, but stand to climb off of him. “Suppose I should actually change into something comfortable now, eh?” You ask humorously, and you hear his laughter from where he’s throwing his used condom away in the bathroom. The downstairs bathroom that you now have in the townhouse where you live with the love of your life. This was always pipe-dream material, but here you are. Living it.

You run upstairs, taking a moment to again admire the state of the bed and think about all the ways you plan to christen it later, and look through clothes to get changed into. Opting for a tank-top-and-pyjama-bottoms combination, you take yourself to your en-suite and freshen up as you get changed.

When you open up the door again, Ralph is just pulling a white shirt over his head, and you smile fondly at his choice to pair it with a very familiar pair of sweatpants. “Those were the first clothes I ever gave you,” you recall, and he looks at you with a similar expression.

“I believe that was also what you had chosen to wear the first night I met you, as well. When you gave me your bed without knowing anything at all about me,” he reminisces.

You giggle, “Oh, yeah, you wouldn’t even look me in the eye because you didn’t want to be ‘improper’, now look at you!” You tap his nose teasingly, and his ears flush red.

“Oh, hush,” he frowns, but the air of a laugh hangs in his voice. “You really were - I mean, to take me in as you did, in my time of need while knowing absolutely nothing about me, especially after Mister Peter told you my far-fetched reasoning for being here…” Ralph wraps his arms around your waist. “Giving me the life I have now, the friends I have, the - everything,” he sighs wistfully. 

“Yeah, well. You try looking you right in the chocolate buttons and saying no to that face,” you smirk, and he laughs. “It’s like I said when we went to the inheritance people to get this place. With my gift of the gab, and your gift of the… Face, the charm, and the everything else you’ve got going for you, we’re unstoppable,” you beam.

“I still can’t believe you were able to talk them around like that,” he looks at you adoringly, and you shrug.

“The amount of backlog they so obviously had, and the amount of effort it would have taken if we hadn’t convinced them to cut some corners with us, it was a doddle,” you shrug. “I could tell they weren’t the brown-nosing type, they weren’t gonna go back to check every little part of what I said we’d set out to do was legitimately within their procedures.”

“A skill set like that is wasted on your little clothes shop,” he frowns, leaning forward to kiss your forehead, and you laugh.

“Yeah, well. Maybe it’s time I look for something new that’s a bit more local to this area,” you nod. “I don’t think Babs’d let you quit, though.”

“Heavens, no, she’d be out for my blood!” Ralph exclaims, and you laugh loudly.

Once you’re back at the sofa, cuddled up beneath a blanket and watching TV together, even though you’re curled up against Ralph’s chest, you can sense something’s bothering him. “You alright?” You ask him.

“Couldn’t be better, darling,” he replies, but the tension you feel beneath your cheek betrays his lie.

“Nah, c’mon, tell me,” you sit yourself up next to him, and he sighs heavily.

“Well, I was just thinking of how… I mean, yes, we have a house now, at least, but I’m still not legally a person, am I? I know we said we wouldn’t openly use that story about me never being registered and so on unless it were absolutely necessary.”

“Yeah, we agreed, only if you need serious medical treatment,” you nod.

“R-right, but what about the other things?” He asks warily, twiddling his thumbs.

“Like holidaying? We can survive not going abroad, Ralph,” you laugh.

“Not just that… What about… Well, we could never be truly wed, or be a family,” you hear his voice get weaker, shakier.

“Sure, we can,” you wrap your arm around his shoulders and pull him so that he nuzzles into your neck, stroking his hair. “Okay, so we couldn’t get, like, legally married, but so what? We can still use the same bank account as if it were a joint one. I could easily change my name by deed poll. We could still throw a wedding in every other aspect, just without the signing the register. And as for the other bit, I mean, you can register with just one parent and add another later, if we do get away with your story about neither of yours registering you.”

“You seem rather sure in your knowledge, there,” he notes with a hint of amusement.

“Yeah, well… Maybe I looked into it all a little.” He looks over at you with a knowing grin, and you feel yourself get sheepish. “What?”

“Nothing, dearest,” Ralph chimes. “Just seems a little… What’s that word that you call me all the time?”

“Sappy? Tell me about it,” you shake your head, and Ralph laughs. 

“It’s an honour to make you feel that way, darling,” he leans over to kiss you. After a few minutes, he breaks away to stroke your cheek with his thumb as he holds your face. “You seriously see a future - of us? With me? I -”

You pull him in for another kiss, laughter bubbling between you as you do so, “Yes, you big dafty!”

He chirps happily. “Well, I suppose I’ve a lot to do, then, haven’t I!”

You take a deep breath in as you brace yourself to potentially let Ralph down. “Yeah, but… look, when I said I was looking into it, I meant as in, like, way into our future, yeah? We’ve got bags of time, I just want to enjoy it all with you, you know?”

To your surprise, Ralph scoffs at you. “Well, naturally. Did you think I would propose to you in this manner? Without so much as a ring? Or even your family’s blessing?”

“Oh, well, that won’t take long at all,” you smirk. “I bet you, when we go have dinner with Mum and Dad next week, by the time we even tell them that we’re together now, Mum’ll be asking you what colour her wedding outfit should be!”

A proud smile bursts onto Ralph’s face, but it quickly fades. “Do you think they’ll fear that us getting a house together is too big of a commitment too quickly?”

“Again. Ralph. They love you,” you reiterate to him, squeezing his hand. “And once they find out you’re responsible for us moving to Southwark, where they are? Dad’ll have gotten himself ordained by the time they bring out desserts just to make sure you’d become a permanent part of the family.”

Ralph’s heart swells hundredfold at the sentiment as he embraces you in yet another kiss. “I suppose I am rather overthinking things, aren’t I?”

“Just a tad,” you scrunch your face up, and he laughs.

“I mean, it’s really no different than when we were living at your flat, really, is it?” He chuckles, and you shake your head.

“Except we could have a pet, now,” you muse, and Ralph sits up straight, his face full of excitement.

“Could we get a cat?!” He beams at you, making you laugh.

“God, you and cats, what is with that?”

“I have a theory,” he muses. “Since Cheese and I got along so well so quickly, I think because we were so similar, he put in a good word with all the other cats. That’s the only explanation there could possibly be.”

After a brief hesitation, you laugh, “Sorry, in what way are you so similar to our old neighbour’s cat?!”

“Well, both of us were sort-of confined to our little flats, neither of us technically supposed to be there. I think he could sense that of me when I first met him, back when I… Upset that neighbour of yours.”

“Because you burnt your toast so badly that you almost suffocated the ninth floor with smoke?” You ask with raised eyebrows, and Ralph slinks back into his seat bashfully.

“Well, I’ve learned now, haven’t I?” He points out.

“That, you have. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come,” you hug his arm, shuffling up to his side. “With everything. How you’ve learned to cope with all this modern stuff, all the stuff you never got to learn growing up, and just… I’m really pleased you’ve been starting to love yourself as much - well, almost as much as I love you,” you simper, resting your head on his arm. “Ugh, god, I really am a sap now, aren’t I?”

Ralph chuckles, pressing a peck onto the top of your head. “At least we can both be, together, eh?”

You sigh contentedly as he wraps his arms around you, pulling the blanket around to make sure you’re both comfortable. You look around at the walls, imagining what decorating with Ralph is going to be like in the coming few weeks, and then picturing the photos you’d hang on there. Travels with Ralph all across the country. Your eventual engagement photos, because of course Ralph’s going to make that moment as photogenic as possible so you’ll have something to capture and savour that memory forever. Wedding photos, all your friends and Ralph’s all dressed up to the nines, singing and dancing the night away to celebrate the pair of you. Pictures of your eventual babies, some with Ralph’s eyes and some with his hair but all of them with his warm, kind smile. Those kids’ first moments, their first smiles, first steps, first day at school.

You break yourself away from your trance-like train of thought to see Ralph’s watching you with all the love that could possibly exist in the world currently living in his gaze. “I’m thinking of the same, too, my love,” he whispers excitedly, as though he’s able to see into your mind telepathically. “I can’t wait for the rest of our lives, either.”

[topgun-imagines]

Important Questions

Requested: yes

Summary: After a case of food poisoning, Maverick has an important question for you.

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: Food poisoning. Mentions of vomit.

Pairings: Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell x fem!reader

A quick, chaste kiss was pressed to your forehead as Maverick slipped past you in the kitchen. You were making your morning coffee while he made his hot chocolate for work. He had decided that he would be taking a break from caffeine for a while. Something that had shocked you deeply. The only explanation that you got was that the sweet hot chocolate tasted better. The pair of you floated around each other seamlessly, as if you were in a dance. You finished making your drink, blowing across the steaming liquid before taking a sip. Your boyfriend did the same beside you. He kissed you one last time before he moved toward the front door. Maverick bid you goodbye before heading outside.

Both you and Maverick had very busy days today. He was set to be teaching a new class with Ice today. From what you had heard, this class was particularly difficult. So much so that it reminded Maverick of himself. The thought made you giggle quietly. You, on the other hand, were set to go spend the day with Carole and Bradley. The three of you were going to decorate the Bradshaw’s house for Christmas. Ever since Goose’s passing, Carole and Bradley had a hard time adjusting. Both you and Maverick had helped immensely. But this was the first Christmas that they would be spending without Goose. You couldn’t imagine that it would be easy on them.

You finished off your coffee before heading up to your room. There, you quickly changed into a pair of jeans splattered with paint and a plain white T-shirt. Once you fixed your hair you were heading back downstairs. You grabbed your purse and slipped on your shoes before stepping out the door. The door clicked as you locked it. You started the car and pulled out of the driveway, starting the short drive to the Bradshaw house.

The drive was quick, the car filled with cheesy Christmas songs as you drove. You pulled into the Bradshaw’s driveway. Shutting off the car, you hopped out and headed to the door. Carole opened it moments after you knocked. She greeted you cheerfully, wrapping her arms around your shoulders once you were inside. Bradley was hugging your legs in seconds. After a few moments of simply standing in the entryway, you all released each other. Bradley grabbed your hand and led you down the hall. “Slow down, buddy.” You chuckled quietly.

He brought you to the kitchen table where you could see many craft supplies laid out. “We're starting with the snowflakes,” He stated matter of factly. Carole entered the room behind you, returning to her pot on the stove. You could clearly smell the delectable scent of her homemade soup. Bradley grabbed your hand once again and pulled you into a chair. You could hear Carole chuckle quietly

The rest of the afternoon was spent crafting Christmas ornaments and other decorations. Now, you were helping Bradley thread popcorn and cranberries onto a string. Carole had finished her soup hours ago. She had ladled some out for the two of you before she moved into other rooms to resume some of her household chores. Ever since the passing of her husband, she had hardly had time for everything that needed to be done. With you here, she was able to tend to the once-forgotten chores.

Around 4:30 that night you could hear a car pull up in the driveway. Your brows furrowed, wondering who would be pulling up to the house. Maverick had taken his bike to work that morning, so you knew it wasn’t him. Moments later there was a knock on the door. Carole rushed to answer it while you occupied Bradley. Before you got the chance to ask why she was laughing so hard, the person at the door rounded the corner to the kitchen. A soft chuckle escaped your lips when you saw your boyfriend standing there, leaning against his much taller blond friend.

Ice offered you a kind smile, one that you didn’t hesitate to return. That look was wiped off your face, however, when you saw the dazed look on Maverick’s face. You practically bolted out of your seat, rushing over to him. You could hear Ice breathe a soft sigh. When Maverick eyes remained shut, yours drifted to Ice. Without needing to speak, Ice delved into the story of what happened. “I’m pretty sure he ate something bad for lunch. Got out of the plane and hurled all over the tarmac,” A grimace crossed his face. “He should be fine but there was no way he was riding his bike home.” You let out a quiet sigh of relief.

Together, you and Ice lead him to the couch, setting him down before returning to the kitchen. Carole had resumed your position, helping her son finish off the strand of popcorn and berries. In the time that you were gone she had poured Maverick a bowl of soup and pulled some nausea medication down from the cabinet. While you poured out the medicine, Ice carried soup over to the shorter pilot. You grabbed a cool glass of water before joining them.

Maverick slowly sipped down the water before taking the medication. Offering him the bowl of soup, Ice patted his shoulder gently before heading towards the door. As if she had some sort of sixth sense, Carole rushed into the room and pointed the ladle at Ice. He froze in his tracks, eyeing her warily. After basically threatening him into staying, Ice eventually wound up next to Maverick on the couch, two bowls of steaming soup in hand. He passed one to you with a smile.

You could see the medication begin to take effect. Maverick eyes blinked open, settling on the bowl of soup in front of him. His stomach rumbled loudly causing you and Ice to chuckle. He began gulping down the soup, only stopping when he needed to breathe. You watched him with cautious eyes, waiting for the soup to make its grand return moments later. But that never came, something which you were very grateful for. The three of you remained in silence, you and Ice enjoying your soup while Maverick sat quietly in the middle.

That silence was suddenly broken. “I have a question,” Maverick piped up quietly. You and Ice hummed in unison. “Is Santa real?” You instantly choked on your soup. Slapping a hand over his mouth, you cast an anxious glance to the kitchen where Bradley was happily crafting. Your hand slowly lowered from his mouth.

“What?” Ice whispered incredulously , eyes darting back and forth between Maverick and Bradley. “Of course not,” Your boyfriend's face fell. “Seriously? Your 30, Maverick.” His eyes drifted shut again. His head came to rest on your shoulder, the drowsiness of the medication finally kicking in. You and Ice shared a surprised look.

The last thing you heard before he drifted to sleep was a quiet ‘oh’ passing from his lips. You sighed quietly. Safe to say, you were in for a long few days.

a/n: Thank you for reading! Requests are open.

[snugglyporos]

Human.

Human.

You cannot take in metal circles and then more metal circles to give the second group of metal circles to the first group in perpetuity.

You cannot claim that you're somehow making more metal circles forever this way. You would have more metal circles than exist in the entire world in a very short period of time.

And there are many metal circles in the world! That is very impressive!

Also, you cannot create a business where you get paid to recruit people who are paid to recruit people. That is not a way to actually get anything to work. You cannot do this forever! Even poros cannot do this. Would run out of poros very quickly.

Pete does not know why humans fall for this. Does not make sense!

Cannot take snax with offer to give more snax later, and then give those more snax with the snax of new poros giving snax! Is not actually creating anything!

Cannot recruit more poros to a fluft by having those poros recruit more poros, because would eventually run out of poros! Is not logical to do!

Pete knows of many geometric shapes. If system looks like a triangle, is not a good thing to put snax or metal circles towards. Is very suspicious!

[mins-fins]

DITTO (L.JH)

SUMMARY . . . everybody seems to know; but everybody seems to not question it as well.

PAIRING . . . lee jeonghyeon x male!reader

GENRE . . . fluff, crack

WARNINGS . . . none!

WORD COUNT . . . 1.2k

NOTES . . . uriel sent a bunch of lee jeonghyeon photos in the discord and now my obsession with this man has leveled up (so thanks uriel for making this possible), also my girl rose (@ohdudedhesflirting) wished to be tagged so here you go my love!

there's something going on between jeonghyeon and y/n.

hanbin is sure he's cracked the case, now.

before, it really wasn't that weird, the two of them did normal best friend things, but the reason hanbin started thinking something else was going was because of how jeonghyeon willingly let y/n give him affection.

he brought it up in a live once, masking it as jealousy because jeonghyeon never allows him to give kisses, but lets y/n kiss him, even on pretty normal occasions.

he wanted answers, but the answers given to him were pretty vague.

they didn't even answer his question, just laughed and changed the subject.

now, hanbin likes to think he's observant, being friends with jeonghyeon and y/n for two years has made him pretty perceptive. he notices the small things about them, the slight changes, the fonder looks they share, how even after group hugs end they continue to cling onto each other, how they always choose to sit next or beside each other.

hanbin thinks he has it all figured out. they have to be dating..there's no other explanation for this!

hanbin is lost in his thoughts as he stirs his cup of coffee, and when he hears the door open, he smiles as he sees y/n walk in, rubbing his eyes.

"y/n, morning".

"morning hanbin".

when hanbin turns fully around, he blinks as he comes across the sight of y/n wearing a sweater, but it's not his sweater, it looks a little big on him if he's being honest.

don't ask him hanbin.

"that's not your sweater, is it?"

good lord you asked him.

y/n looks up, taking a sip of his coffee first. "no, it's not my sweater, it's jeonghyeon's".

hanbin watches y/n specifically smile as he says jeonghyeon's name, but he doesn't comment on it, instead raising an eyebrow suspiciously at y/n.

the younger notices, giving a small smile, though hanbin can see the pink color on his cheeks. "i borrowed it and he didn't seem to mind, so.."

"uh huh" hanbin simply sips his coffee, still staring at y/n with narrowed eyes.

they had a fan meeting later today, he should be focused on that.

oh please, he tried.

but now hanbin is 100% sure jeonghyeon and y/n are dating.

the two of them are quite literally attached to the hip the whole fan meet, and okay, it's normal to be very close to your friends, but lee jeonghyeon of all people, being affectionate? after he vehemently denies all of hanbin's affection? it surprises him.

they don't even make an effort to hide it, y/n is clearly, in broad daylight, admiring jeonghyeon like he depends on it, even getting distracted by jeonghyeon whilst he was speaking to fans, on camera (hanbin is sure fans on twitter are gonna have a field day with that).

he's sure that junghyun and jihoo notice too, because they keep giggling and whispering to each other.

the 'couple' though, don't seem to catch on quite yet.

they look like their having the best time of their lives, if hanbin's being honest, and he can't help but smile at how cute they are, they're still his good friends after all, he's glad they're happy.

but it still doesn't answer his questions.

after the fan meeting ends, the rest of them are tired, but hanbin is still very curious, his mind keeps pushing him to ask jeonghyeon questions about him and y/n.

no, you shouldn't be nosy, hanbin, even if they are dating just leave them be, it's literally none of your business.

but for pete's sake, hanbin can't not ask any questions, especially with how obvious they are being.

when hanbin comes across the two of them again, the two youngest are already asleep, they have school tomorrow, and hanbin has to wake them up in the morning.

he walks into jeonghyeon's room, he pauses at the doorway. jeonghyeon is sitting on his bed, using his phone, y/n is sleeping on his lap, completely passed out as jeonghyeon uses his free hand to run his fingers through his hair.

i better not be stupid..

"hi hanbin" jeonghyeon smiles at the sight of the eldest, continuing to play with y/n's hair as he softly snores. "do you need something?"

hanbin blinks, resisting the urge to let his jaw drop because y/n is wearing jeonghyeon's sweater again, if this isn't the most obvious relationship ever he doesn't know what is.

"jeonghyeon".

"yeah?" jeonghyeon looks confused, because the way hanbin called his name makes it seem like he did something wrong. "what happened?"

"i— uh.. you—" hanbin pauses once again, sighing. "you two are like.. a thing right?"

jeonghyeon tilts his head, staring for a moment before he giggles. "i'm surprised you didn't ask sooner".

now hanbin's jaw drops, he takes a long pause before closing his mouth, blinking as he stares at the younger 02 liner. "what do you mean?"

"it's been four months".

"four months!?"

hanbin feels stupid, they have been dating for four months and he's only just caught on. the two of them have been dating since march, and he didn't even notice until after the show ended.

"i— how did i not notice?"

"i was waiting for you to" jeonghyeon replies, a small smile coming to his face. "taerae got it before you, heck, even seunghwan did, and he's not even in this company".

hanbin gasps, placing a hand on his chest right above his heart. jeonghyeon laughs once again, using his free hand to cover his mouth.

hanbin pouts, now feeling stupid, and jeonghyeon finally stops laughing. "sorry sorry, i just.. how did you not know?"

"i didn't want to assume and be wrong!"

"well you weren't!"

hanbin sighs and his shoulders slump, but as he stares at jeonghyeon sitting on the bed, and y/n sleeping on his lap, he just smiles, because they're happy.

if they're happy, that's all that matters.

"well, i'm happy for you two, even though i discovered much later than i should've.."

hanbin mumbles, and jeonghyeon just lowers his head, making sure he doesn't begin laughing once again. "you guys take care of each other, okay?"

jeonghyeon looks down at y/n sleeping in his lap, a familiar look of love coming to his eyes. "of course, thank you hanbin hyung".

"no problem, make sure to go to sleep early too okay?"

"well, i can't promise that".

hanbin chuckles and smiles at jeonghyeon, shaking his head as he closes the door to his room.

jeonghyeon still finds himself giggling at that prior interaction.

y/n shifts as he feels jeonghyeon's fingers comb through his hair, he blinks and looks up at his boyfriend, who looks back down at him. for some reason, jeonghyeon laughs and presses a kiss onto his forehead.

"what's so funny?"

"hanbinie finally found out about us".

y/n is clearly surprised. he doesn't move his head from jeonghyeon's lap as he processes the statement, a look of shock coming to his face.

"just now?"

"just now" jeonghyeon confirms, and y/n snickers to himself, covering his face with his hands.

jeonghyeon just stares, and y/n notices, because he just stares with such fond eyes that it's hard not to notice.

"stop looking at me like that!"

"like what honey?"

y/n buries his face into his hands in frustration, face too red and hot for his own comfort. a small laugh is hears from jeonghyeon, who is definitely amused by how easily his boyfriend gets flustered.

"i hate you".

"i love you too".

[canduscata]

I reached episode 8, final episode!! I love how things are solved and you can see the trajectory for a next season and lots of Susie-Eddie content, let’s dive in…

When Susie says “is a free swing John” to the Gospel, I think it means she has already made up her mind. Girl is vindictive!! Love it!! 

I enjoyed very much when she calls Eddie and he told her the Gospel was outside his house and she just said that would've been me and him instead of being angry just ok… let's solve it! Like he understands there’s something more urgent and she is desperate too while she speaks, like there’ll be time to discuss this…

Bobby gives them a speech about the pigeons, you can see Susie and Eddie are resentful. He mentions values; loyalty, bravery, and integrity… They look at each other; perhaps acknowledging these values in them. Bobby also mentions they have to accept they screwed up and just move on I just loved how he says it’s like dealing with a couple of kids… Meaning can you realize how much you need to be together!! Then Bobby says he wants to quit the business, Eddie realizes she doesn’t want to… She’s good at what she does, he admires her for it. She is exasperated and frustrated with the whole situation, you can see it in her face, she sighs and that’s when Eddie puts into words what she’s thinking!! That’s why he calls her out later… When Bobby asks Eddie to work with Susie they both sigh, they are proud but also want to continue working together!! And Bobby can see what they both can’t, they are good TOGETHER!!!   

That’s why Eddie pushes her… you’ve been running the operation for years… You are too young to retire… and even though she won’t admit it she’s sad he wants out… but here you can tell she will forgive but not forget… because she says you went behind my back twice hahaha Girl is in love!! This whole interaction made me extremely happy because you can tell they are deeply connected… gangster values wise and mind…

Eddie doesn’t like Stan, there’s no loyalty, no values, and violence without needing it. Not very gentlemenly to put a word… I love this scene because she already knows Eddie set Stan up. And when Eddie is being asked, why did you change your mind he says it felt pivotal… but he had everything planned. 

With the whole Mercy interaction, the only thing I can say is… you can’t be more married than that!!

When Pete says the best thing that happened to him was meeting them, they looked at each other, I sense because it felt too close to home ;) 

Susie says, our business comes to an end… he tests the waters by saying there are some extra birds and she is business, I assume she’s still resentful because he betrayed me… they say good luck, and the way he looks at her when she’s going to her car (our duke is down bad!!) and then the “It’s been emotional, Captain” she uses his nickname, she’s diabolical hahaha I LOVE HER!!

I enjoyed very much that is Freddy the one telling him, bro you were born for this!! Making him realize he is cold-blooded, calculated, lethal… That’s why he starts thinking how about I join the business?? When he decides to get in the business, you can tell he wants Susie next to him, running it together but he knows he can’t push her because it will only drive her away… 

Lady Horniman knows Eddie wants Susie by his side, that’s why she goes and talks to her… Women women conversation!! I truly loved this scene because it felt like Susie needed some women's support… advice… a mother figure…  

They contemplate the Gainsborough together where their story started 🙂, and Susie is the one pouring the whisky. Wifey knows husband is reflecting on the situation… the tone she uses, like whispering… 

There is a pause, he looks outside gathering himself, courage perhaps on how to approach her with his proposal… Business for now (marriage later hahaha) kind of foreshadowing eh! He explains his family motto, and she already knows what he wants, she only asks do you have the money, no extra needed explanation… He’s fully flirting with her now, challenging her, look what WE achieved TOGETHER (he lowered his voice, jesuuusss)!! He wants her to be his partner, she is skeptical and in awe… but she agrees and he knows it, that’s why he’s cocky when he says “supremely”. I CAN’T with these two!!

The whole final interaction with Bobby, he says he wanted them to invest in the operation, she’s not happy and Eddie knows it… I wonder what continuity means for Bobby… an heir perhaps? 

Eddie is quite uncomfortable when Bobby tells him all the good characteristics he has because he should be saying this to Susan. He wants her to feel appreciated.

Now my favorite scene of the whole series!! Because there’s so much unsaid, but you can know by their interaction; they are 100% shamelessly flirting… Collins is tied up… and Eddie brought it to HER, as an offering…  It drives me insane to know that Eddie who is in charge, it is the duke, respected, etc, etc. is not the one with the power, she is… because he will do what SHE orders. That’s why he loads the gun and hands it to her… and he still asks her, is it a request? Like say it and I’m doing it… I’ll do everything you say. Because she just says I thought you might want to… he doesn’t need to be told twice, to show her she is in charge! The eye contact while shooting Collins!! Chemistry that blows your mind and screen! hahaha HOT! And she looks at his lips, my girl is horny!! They're going to kill me!  

Comment aside I love that when Freddy wants to sacrifice himself Tam says I won’t be a widow hahaha

Another thing is… perhaps the Stan/ Bobby last scene set the idea for a next season... Like two empires fighting??

[aki-draws-things]

For the sake of me writing more and more and MORE angst. 🙂🙂 I present you the fic I will most likely NEVER write because this wip just caused me anxiety... 😂 No, honestly.. If anyone wants to take this plot Tribble for themselves amd go ahead and make the most painfully heartbreaking thing ever, be my guest. I'd read it, but not sure I'll ever write more than little wips...

Enjoy...

(@miii-chaaan i said I was writing pain... I wrote pain. That's perhaps a little too much pain.)

Married Icemav, but at one point Mav is deadly sure his husband is cheating, disappearing for days, being unusually silent, not telling him where he goes, who he sees, only answering as "it's classified" over and over. He never doubted him, not like that, but now he does and damn, that hurts so much.

So he throws himself into tests and flying and everything to keep his mind away from that as long as possible.

Things just keep getting worse, though, ice receives calls at any given hour, he leaves in the dead of the night without explanation, throwing clothes on so fast, hell, even half tripping over the chair, waking Mav up. He's tempted of following, he wants to know, he wants to understand what ended wrong between them, making Ice take such a decision of cheating so blatantly. But he doesn't, because he still wants to trust him, somehow. Because something in the back of his mind tells him that Ice still loves him, and he must have valid reasons for acting that way.

Besides, Ice still is his guardian angel, keeping him out of bigger and bigger troubles with other admirals, so he must still love his husband, right?

Until he's called back at top gun, and Ice is not answering a single text he sent for a couple of days on a row, and now Mav is worried. Did something happen to him? Is he sick? Or just so damn busy? So busy not to text him? Not even a little good morning? Or goodnight? Nothing?

Well, Ice shows up at top gun too, in full uniform, but with disheveled hair and red eyes, like he spent the whole flight there crying his eyes out and just barely managed to stop. It's a sight Mav absolutely hates as he runs up to him, checks him all over, hands brushing over his face and cheeks and the dam just breaks again, and they both slid on the tarmac in front of the little daggers, and a shocked Mav too. But Ice, oh, he just can't stop sobbing so hard, so loud, so fucking desperate.

"how? How did you do it, Pete?" Mav can hear between the sobs, and he'd be damned if that doesn't break his heart despite not understanding. "when Carole passed?"

What? What about her? Ice knew well how he made it after, he was there, he stood at his side, he held him as he cried, as he lost the one who was like a sister to him. Ice knew, why was he asking now? "when goose--"

He chokes on his words, trembles, breaks into a louder sob and maybe, maybe Mav understands now, not completely, not everything, just a little little bit. But he has no answers for him, all he can do is kneel there and hold his admiral so tight, so close, until he will be ready to tell him.

At the funeral ice can't get out a single word, he should give a speech, as the higher rank between them, as the best friend. He should be the one saying a couple of words to remember Slider because he was his RIO, and they've been glued to each other since forever. But he can't.

Mav calls him the best RIO he ever flew with after Goose. One who deserved the world. The sky. Everything. One who stayed by Ice's side through everything, who looked at him with so much pride that made him, Ice husband, feel jealous. Mav is, in the end, the first to punch the wings on the coffin, even though they never called each other friends, it was left unspoken, but it was real. A pilot and his RIO, like ice and Slider. Like him and Goose.

Ice still doesn't tell him everything, just that he was there, holding his hand as life slipped away, further and further, like Mav did with Carole, just the same. And he's sorry, for not telling him, for keeping it a secret, but that's what Ron asked him to, not wanting Mav to know, because it would be too painful for him. Too much.

There's a will left, nothing official, a letter, old-fashioned, that gets delivered to Mav a couple days later, from Slider, in a crooked handwriting, trembling, and damn, it's almost painful to read it too.

"make it alright." it says, and Mav knows he's talking about Rooster, still looking out for him, still being who baby Goose called Uncle Sli. "once more, I leave my pilot in your care, he'll need you, more than ever."

But he needed you too, Ron. Mav finds himself thinking as he reads through.

"be good to him, understand him. Stay with him when he'll try to push you away, he will, I know that stubborn cat our Admiral is. Fly with him. Fly him to the sky. And when night comes show him the way back home."

He knew those words, Mav thought, holding the letter close to his chest. He nodded to the empty room, like answering a silent plea.

"I wish we had more time, Slide..."

He muttered before reading the final lines and break into a choked laughter.

"wish we had more time, Pete. It had been a honor flying with you. Until next time."

[jaladwolf]

Can u talk more about your fnaf agere au? And If anybody else regress on the pizzaria?

This ask has given me motivation, and now I shall reward you with this.

AU Explanation here!

After Goldie began regressing, Henry made a little daycare-like space out of a spare room for other regressors. I’ll let you imagine what it looks like.

Of course, not everyone is akin with the whole age regression thing. Most of the main cast, including supposed “villains” Foxy and Shadow are completely fine it. But some characters and OCs that I plan on adding either see it as an excuse to get away with stuff or as some gross fantasy while others… well, they say they support it but in reality, they shouldn’t be allowed within 3 feet of an age regressor.

Speaking of age regressors, let’s list them off shall we?

First up is Goldie of course! As most of you know, his little age is around 5-7. His personality doesn’t change that much (only another regressor might be able to notice it). For example, his pranks would be more lighthearted, such as taping silly pictures on the walls or decorating someone’s face with stickers. Freddy’s a bit less harsh on him because he’s aware that certain words and actions can trigger his regression. Same goes for Foxy, though he does have trouble controlling his hatred towards the golden prankster. Bonnie is one of his caregivers, along with TC and Mike. Next is Finn! His little age is about 2-4, making him one of the youngest in age regression. But the difference here is that he’s also a puppy regressor. Basically, it means Finn acts like a puppy when he regresses. For example, playing with a toy ball or chew toy, curling up next to them when he’s tired. Basically, he’s playful, curious and just all around happier when he’s in little space. Goldie is often his play buddy whenever he regresses and Mari is one of his caregivers, along with Dottie and my OC Julie (who despite her often neutral expression, would literally kill for him). And finally we have Pete, who surprise, surprise, is a flip! This means he’s both a caregiver and an age regressor. His little age is around 7-9, making him the oldest out the current age regressors. When he and Dottie were transferred to Freddy Fazbear’s following an investigation of the boss, Marcus Stein (dude hasn’t been arrested yet, but it’s coming no doubt about it), the constant strain of trying to put on a tough act wasn’t working as well as he wanted it to and one day, he ended up having a mental breakdown. So yeah, he’s been regressing as a way to cope with everything. He usually avoids being touched whenever he’s not in little, but he is kinda touch starved, just like Shadow Freddy in a way. Also, due to the constant pressure and expectation of being a perfect animatronic performer back at his old establishments, he constantly strives for validation and approval, both in and out of little space. Okay I think that’s everything. Sorry this took so long dear anon, school has been keeping me busy.. 😤