#changing habits is key in your life direction

[sergioguymanproust]

When every action is done without rushing,the action becomes a stillness in the fabric of time.Here’s a perfect example you might be dying of thirst and your body,spirit and soul are indeed craving it,but try this, slow down ,and teach your body discipline to separate the action from your mind and take each sip with longer intervals,watch how even your craving also begins to temper you. This my friend is the way to live your life in such measure manners ,aware of your surroundings and the space you occupy,by controlling your mind.Eventually you will become a better person.A more grounded human being. Green tea is key in transforming your energy,also there’s no need to drink so much ,start with small cups ,allow it to do its miracle .Meditate frequently about your way of thinking and transforming your habits.The older we get the more difficult it is to break away from destructive habits ,so do take your time .Words by Sergio GuymanProust.

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

You know, all I want is to spend some time with Nikto on his off-days and have him read Dostoyevski to me, if you don't want to make this like a single fic you can maybe incorporate it into "ravishing allure" some time later 🥹

"…and there can be no love otherwise."

PAIRINGS: Nikto x F!Reader

SYNOPSIS: If anyone could make the bad days better, it was Nikto.

WORDCOUNT: 2.3k

WARNINGS: Stress from work/life, lack of sleep, mostly fluff, comfort, etc.

*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*

There were times you wondered if putting up with your job was really worth it. Sure, you needed the money to pay rent, food, and bills, among a laundry list of others that just seemed to never end, but was the cost of your sleep the metaphorical soul you had to hand over? 

Every day you came home tired to your little apartment—neighbors loud and the light in the bathroom flickering because the electrician had never shown up to fix it. Tired, but unable to fall asleep until everything else was done. So, you’d make dinner, clean, shower, sit down to mindlessly watch a show on TV for half an hour, and then stumble into bed. 

Only to stay awake and stare at the ceiling. 

You can’t say why you do it, thinking over the things you did wrong and the awkward conversations you have with coworkers; you shouldn’t care about it—really, you shouldn't. Yet you can’t stop your brain from slipping like a slide to every instance, every millisecond where you felt the air of the interaction change. Side-eyes and confused looks. 

And then at six o’clock, you’d drag yourself out of bed with bags on your face and a drained expression to do it all over again. 

“Hi, how can I help you today?” 

“Oh, of course, we have some in the back—I’ll go grab it for you.”

“Thank you! You have a good day now, Sir. Come back soon.”

It just felt fake. Greet, help, take money, wave and smile, repeat, repeat, repeat. But maybe today would be slightly different, by the second pair of shoes that were placed in your apartment entry as you slowly opened the front door. 

Boots—black and set an equal distance apart with a cleaned surface despite the places they’d been and what they’d probably stepped through. They were neatly situated under the small bench you had for convenience, and you blink at them as you softly shut the door and lock it. A large, and matching in color, jacket was folded and placed atop the flat surface—keys sitting in an indent. 

Nikto, ever the neat and tidy one. He must be back then. 

While the two of you didn’t live together, the bear of a man had made a habit of coming over when he returned from deployments with KorTac—you’d given him a key the second year you’d been together. 

Your ears faintly twitch to the sound of cooking, nose moving just a second later to the scent of something on the stove. Clinking pans and silent footsteps. He knew you were here, sure as anything. Weakly sighing, you shift out of your jacket and shoes; tossing them in the general direction of the bench as you rub at your eyes and drop your purse to the floor with a slap of canvas. 

How do you explain looking like shit? 

Shuffling into the kitchen, you undo some of the buttons on your blouse to let yourself breathe, dress pants running along the carpet as your feet pad like a hound’s slapping paws. Vision blurry and eyelids threatening to close on you, you find the tall man in front of the stove, moving something in a pan with sizzling oils with the wide flex of his shoulders.

On another burner, there’s a large pot of simmering water—the counter has already been cleaned up of flour and mess, a tidy pile of dirty items sitting in the sink to be washed. You stare for a second before you grumble a hello, forcing your body to sag into his back as you walk over and slap your forehead into his spine. 

Nikto grunts lowly in response and continues what he’s doing. 

While it wasn’t rare to find him in the kitchen—in fact, you prefer it when he cooks—but usually when he got back you opted to order supper. He always insisted, gruffly, that he wasn’t tired, but you just wanted him to relax.

It was fun to baby him. 

“Didn’t know you were going to be back today,” you whisper into him, arms hanging by your sides. 

“We were released early,” his voice is deep and harsh—a bark of his Russian accent and rasp. Every word is thought out and said with purpose. “Conflict in schedule.”

You hum lowly, and it’s immediately after that Nikto stiffens, back going straighter. It’s the fact that you don’t even notice that you’ve completely screwed up your own routine that tips him off; how your change in pace had made him initially suspicious as he’d heard you enter the apartment. 

You hadn't commented on his eyes. Hadn’t tried to get him to turn around to see them. 

There was a running gag that Nikto tolerated—you’d grab him carefully by the chin and tilt his blank eyes to you in all of their icy glory. Sparks of glass and chilled storms inlay near the pupils. You’d stare, smile, and then say, “Yup, he’s still in there.” 

Even if you couldn’t see it under his balaclava, Nikto’s lips would part and he’d study your face for a minute in silence, before lightly bonking his forehead to yours. A strange and unique kiss that only he could perfect in his intimidating way. 

You hadn’t even attempted that. 

Nikto puts down the fork he was using to push around the fried potatoes and mushrooms; Pelmeni still simmering in the pot for another five minutes. The cut-up dill and melted butter on the counter are pushed from his mind with a purpose in his veins.

“What is wrong with you?” Nikto turns and you stifle a fatigued snort as you look up at him. It wasn’t his fault, of course. English isn’t his first language, and you found his broken, or sometimes bare-bones blunt, sentences to be endearing.

“Such a way with words, hm?” You can’t help but tease, and you can see the annoyed furrow of his brown brows, nose huffing a breath. “Just tired, Nikto.” Your words make his gaze slide along the very visible bags and the red veins of your eyes. 

He mutters something in Russian under his breath, lids narrowing on you as he grasps your shoulders and moves you back so he can look you up and down slowly in a near clinical breakdown of atoms. As if he can peel back clothes and splay nerves to light. 

“You look horrible…Sickly.” You can see the brain working as your lips go into a line to stay off your loud laugh. “Like dead woman walking.”

He was so much better with actions than words, this beast of wide shoulders and shifting thighs that could crush your bones to dust in an instant. You liked that about him—you never had to guess when he was being genuine or not.

“Work’s been rough,” you chuckle lowly, sliding on a fake smile that doesn’t fool him for a second. “Nothing I can’t…figure out, okay? Thanks for making supper, I love when you cook.”

Nikto’s eyes soften just a smidge, his hands holding your flesh just the littlest bit tighter. His expansive chest rises and falls in a heavy sigh, the bulk of his stomach and pecs visible under the tucked black t-shirt and his spare cargo pants.

Without a word, you’re being lifted with little more than a huff of, “��оя нежная девочка… keep awake.”

You squeak as you’re settled onto his shoulder, hanging off like a sack of grain as his arm wraps over the top of your tailbone—large other hand on your thigh and fingers firmly grasping your skin. 

“Nikto—!”

“Hush,” he grunts, a bark of a chuckle wafting out as your hand playfully hits his back with a pathetic slap. The man raises a brow, smirking under his face covering. “What do you expect to do with that, girl?” 

“To let you know,” you poke at his spine and he shifts your farther down his shoulder in retaliation as you scramble and grasp at his shirt; giggling as your head sways to his steps. “That I won't go quietly!” 

“Good to know,” he grumbles. “I would want nothing less, eh?” 

His hands make sure that you don’t fall, even if you were to start wiggling or slipping.

You go limp and let him carry you into the living room, face burning with appreciation as your limbs let themselves rest. Nikto slings you back over his shoulder and drops you to the couch as you laugh, head purposely hitting the pillow as your chest rises and falls with breaths. 

The man stares down at you as you chuckle in gasps, always one to stare at any chance he gets. His arms crossed at his chest, feet apart, and shadow slipping over you from the overhead light. You gaze up silently, a smile on your lips, and quizzically raise to your brow.

“Stay,” is what he says to you, icy vision sliding down your body with a hum of approval. He sends a teasing slap to your thigh before striding back into the kitchen, narrowly missing your leg kicking out at his arse. 

Nikto scoffs at your attempt and disappears.

Normally you’d run at him and jump on his back, hanging off like an animal, but being as fatigued as you are, you call a mumbled curse at his name and curl sideways. Your face nuzzles into the pillow, smiling lightly before you let your eyes momentarily close.

You must have taken a quick nap because it seemed not even a second later that you were being shaken awake by a hand on your arm; spreading up to run over your cheek as your lashes flutter. “Милая.” You sigh, vision blurry and your head pounding. A strong scent hits your nose and you perk—rubbing at your eyes and face. “Eat.”

A plate of fried potatoes with mushrooms and another bowl of Pelmeni are on the coffee table, and the former is shoved into your face by a strong hand, the small dumplings topped with melted butter and dill. 

“Pelmeni,” Nikto states in a monotone, blinking at you as if you don’t know his own culture’s food by now. He made them often enough, which was why you liked him so much—food was truly the way to your love.

You’d taken up baking some of Nikto’s favorite desserts once, had failed horribly, and left most of the kitchen work to him—but the funny thing was that whenever you did bake, the man still always cleaned his plate. You’d never seen him turn down your food, even when you could see his eyes scrunch with restrained aversion.

“Да,” he would grunt out, “good.” It was so strained you always laughed so hard your lungs hurt after. On the off-hand, Nikto’s skills in the kitchen were enough to get you to sell your car for just another bite. 

Sitting up, you carefully take the bowl and look up at him, smiling deeply. 

“Thank you, Nik.” The man hums and turns his head away, still unused to outright affection even two years in. “Nikto~” you draw out his name, tilting your head to the side and trying to catch his gaze again. 

“Silence, woman,” he growls with no real heat, huffing before carefully placing his forehead to yours again as you expected him to. You giggle and stare into his eyes smugly. 

You knew what he was waiting for. Your blood runs hot, face going into a picture of care. His blues blink at you as snowflakes mingle with mist; a mix of cold and desolate landscapes that offer no reprieve from harm besides the small glint of fire they gain when they lock with yours. 

“Yup,” you whisper, and Nikto’s shoulders loosen as he presses more deeply into your skin. “He’s still in there.” 

He stares intensely, and the faintest of twitches under his balaclava tell you all you need to know. 

Nikto makes sure you eat your fill and when you’re done he takes the dishes and washes them while you shower and get into pajamas. Sluggish, but warmed by a full stomach and your boyfriend’s care. You come out to find he’s already reclining on the couch, book in hand as the other bends behind his neck. Lights were low and the heat turned up. Nikto opens his side to you and your body snuggles next to him—it had taken a long time to earn his trust like this; to be near him and to freely give affection.

It would be longer still until you saw his face, but you can live with that. There was no rush, and you knew it was a large soft spot even if he’d never shared the details as to why.

You sigh deeply and Nikto grunts, moving his arm behind your back and keeping you to his chest as he reads. 

This is a common sight from him, and he begins reading to you in his mother tongue from the works of Fyodor Dostoevsky, the grit and gravel of his voice sliding into words and sensations as you practically feel it coming from his chest and throat. Your head situates itself under his chin, feeling his free hand playing with your hair until you go brain-dead except to the way he feels and sounds. Harsh words had never been more gentle.

Halfway through he switches to English, his sentences now more slow and thought out and your lashes flutter; breath soft as you take in his scent of oakmoss and amber. His heart beats steady and true. 

“‘To love is to suffer,’” he reads, fingers rubbing circles into your clothes and letting you sleep as the day grows faster into a cold night. He glances down with easy eyes, gripping you just a bit closer as your body entirely goes limp in his embrace. “‘...And there can be no love otherwise.’” 

He silences himself and watches for a moment before he closes the book, dropping it silently to the coffee table and staring past you at the ceiling. The man feels your warmth bleed into his scarred and damaged skin and whispers something akin to vindication.

Nikto listens to your steady breathing and holds you. Steady. Noiseless. 

He grunts to himself and only presses you closer.

TAGS:

@luuvbuzz, @emerald-valkyrie, @anna-banana27, @blueoorchid, @cryingnotcrying, @writeforfandoms, @homicidal-slvt, @jade-jax, @frazie99, @elmoees, @littlemisstrouble, @alpineswinter, @phoenixhalliwell, @idocarealot, @lavalleon, @facelessmemories, @h-leigh, @20forty9, @glitter-anon-asks, @emily-who-killed-a-man, @neelehksttr, @aeneanc, @escapefromrealitysm, @i-d-1-0-t, @pparcxysm, @hawkscanendme, @caramlizedtomatos, @konigsleftkidney, @sanfransolomitatm, @maelstrom007, @jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet, @pheobees, @glitterypirateduck, @uselsshuman, @fan-of-encouragement, @halfmoth-halfman, @ghostlythunderbird, @I-inkage, @pukbadger, @kopatych11, @0nceinabluem00n, @cocrorapop, @knightofsexyness, @abnormalgeil, @smallseastone, @jacegons, @330bpm-whiplash, @simon-rileys-housewife, @4-atsu, @tiredmetalenthusiast

[storiesofsvu]

Decadent Desires Ch 12

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader warnings: language, minor political/bau issues mentioned/talked about, smut eluded to. We've come back to the chapters that jump through moments in time! This is also the time that you read this, then skim through the series and see if you can pick up on the foreshadowing cause next chapter is what it was leading up to lol. I'm going to crack down and fly through as many chapters in a row of this series while writing and queue them for once a week. LMK if that timeline seems okay or if it should be more frequent or less, I wanna continue that habit for new series!

Heather was seated at one of the window side tables at Peacock Alley inside the Waldorf, a coffee and a bloody mary in front of her while she looked through the menu. Her gaze drifted out the window, wondering if she was there too early, if you were running behind or if it was a combination of both. Just as she was about to check her phone for both the time and conformation, she spotted what she was sure was your car pulling up to the valet.

Sure enough, you slipped out of it, passing the keys and a wad of cash over to the worker with a sweet smile before tossing your bag onto your arm and making your way to the hotel entrance. Her head tilted in confusion but before she could really get lost in her thoughts you had rounded the corner into the lobby restaurant, sunglasses pushed back onto your head as you glanced around in search of her. A small smile took over your lips when you spotted her, hurrying over to the table.

“You’re early.” You greeted, placing your purse down on the windowsill as you slipped into your seat.

Heather shrugged, “she got clingy, I kicked her out before she could start begging for room service and the girlfriend treatment.”

You nearly snorted, shaking you head at the other woman, “I didn’t realize you were entertaining.”

“Rob’s out of town, both the kids are on campus, you were occupied so I was bored.” She replied, picking up her coffee for a sip when the waiter came over to start you on your own drinks and you figured you may as well match Heather.

“Thought your go to place was the Conrad.” You asked, settling in as your drinks were dropped off and you could take a couple of sips.

“It is. But she was brand new and I wanted to be cautious, figuring we were meeting here in the morning I made it convenient.” She took a sip of her coffee, a brow raised in your direction, “which is why I’m particularly curious as to why you were pulling up to the valet instead of coming from the elevator.”

“I came from home.”

“Did we not plan to meet here for as little hassle as possible? We could have just met at my place if your date fell through.”

“It didn’t fall through.” Your brow scrunched, not able to get an immediate reply from Heather as the waiter came over to take your orders. You opting for a quinoa power bowl while she went with the mushroom and asparagus omelet.

“Did you change hotels?” Heather asked as the waiter left the table.

“No.” You shook your head, “we were at her place.”

“Oh?” She asked with slightly wide eyes and you laughed.

“Emily’s sick of not sleeping in her own bed. And to be completely honest I was getting bored of hotel life too.” You glanced up to catch the look on her face and you rolled your eyes, “Heather, this isn’t like one of us is some money hungry twenty something who’s going to go psychotic when the other one won’t leave her husband for her. Not everything mimics your life experiences.”

“So you’re not getting all domesticated on me?” She asked with a smirk, “because I need that wild, spitfire woman for work.”

“No.” You nearly grimaced, “we’re still going out for fancy dinners and shit, the sex is just occurring in a different environment and with a plethora of more toys.”

“Mmm.” She replied over a sip of her bloody mary, “so whose place were you at last night?”

“Hers.”

“You stay over?”

“Yes.”

“Careful.” She chided.

“What?” You asked her, your nose scrunching in confusion and she simply chuckled.

“Never mind.” She took another sip of her coffee, “you know… I saw Jackie the other day.”

“Not a surprise considering your line of work.” You replied, hoping the sudden heat on your cheeks wasn’t as present as it felt. “How is she?”

“Had one hell of a hickey on her neck… said she finally got around to having some good fun a couple of weeks ago.”

“Good for her.” You bluffed.

“Huh.” Heather clicked her tongue.

“What?” You huffed, wanting to move onto the next subject.

“Were you too drunk or too horny to realize that it was my main driver who picked you up from the club?” She smirked over the rim of her glass, “and to think you didn’t even bother to call me.”

“Heather it was nearly five in the morning.” You replied dryly, “besides, you always have to be in control of everything, you get power hungry in group situations, dynamic never would have worked.”

“Oh…” there was a devilish grin on her lips as she leant back in her chair, “so tell me then… did they gang up on you or was poor Jackie your little play toy?”

“Please.” You laughed, your voice quieting, “you know that’s what she prefers.”

“Tell me more.” With a smirk, she leant in, her elbow on the table, chin propped up in her hand.

“Absolutely not.” You shook your head, eyeing her up, “but I guess now would be the time to point out that hickey on your neck…”

“What?” Heather’s hand shot to her neck, gently prodding at the skin until she found the sensitive spot, “fucking brat. I told her no marks!”

“And that’s why you’ve got to make better choices.” You shrugged, leaning back in your chair, “I’m careful to not leave marks.”

“That’s because you don’t bite hard enough.” She nearly scowled, digging into her purse to pull out a compact and do the best coverage job she could in the meantime.

You were left laughing, the topic finally diminishing as food was swiftly delivered. Heather, having had enough of being prodded and teased slid the compact back into her purse and picked up her fork.

“How are we doing for next week’s assembly?”

“I’ve got Harris, Tart and Durant set up for speakers, Ashley’s been finishing shirts, banners, badges and stickers and Colton’s been going door to door every day this week.”

“Good.” She took a bite of food, “where are we with backing from Underwood?”

“Working on it. He’s been out of State so often it’s been hard enough to track him or Claire down even for a phone call. I’ll get there soon, I promise.”

“Good girl.”

**

While your dates continued around the city, it almost felt like you had more freedom when you weren’t trying to stay in or near a specific hotel. Dinner or drinks could be closer to your place or Emily’s, wandering the waterfront on the way back to her apartment. While things were a little more comfortable, there were still some unspoken rules that the two of you simply continued to follow.

Emily always made sure the payment was sent to you within an hour of a date ending, whether that be midnight or eight in the morning the next day. You kept your dates limited to weekends, both to keep things on a running schedule and to try and avoid crossing over with work. Staying the night wasn’t required, it never had been in the hotels, especially if one of you knew you had a busy week and wanted a day to prepare for it or decompress from the weekend. There was nothing in the contract about cuddles and sweet dreams, it was about sex, enough aftercare that everyone was alright and money. There were nights you were too wiped to move, falling asleep before Emily could even fully check in with you and there were other nights that once you’d caught your breath, you were dressed and out the door. Emily would admit she did enjoy spending the nights in your bed, but she still missed her own just as much and if she was willing to drive at the late hour, she was pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek and heading home to it.

Some mornings you’d wake up tangled in each other’s limbs and take the time for some lazy morning sex, which usually ended up leading straight into round two, three or more as you fully woke up. Other mornings you would wake up to the sound of the shower, Emily prodding your side what felt like seconds later with a to go coffee cup and you were on your way home straight away.

Coffee was where it ended, there was never breakfast, never brunch or dilly dallying as you talked about your plans for the rest of the weekend. It was a quick shower, a coffee in a cardboard cup and an ‘I’ll call you’ to set up your next date. While you had dinner or drinks most nights, they were had out, it was never homecooked, no dancing around each other in the kitchen while you put together a meal. Bottles of wine were often left forgotten on the coffee table as Emily made a home between your legs, bringing you to your peak over and over again until you were tugging her off you to return the favour.

Emily’s apartment was normally your setting, her toy collection happened to be more extensive than yours and it seemed like there was always something new to discover and play with. It also helped her keep a semblance of control in her mind, you may have been playing this game for months now, but she was still wrapping her brain around exactly how things worked. She was still new to it, learning the ropes as she went and she wanted to make sure she was doing her best. When she was in her own apartment, it was her surroundings, she knew every nook and cranny and felt more relaxed and able to take control.

The lines were still in place, even if there was a change of scenery.

**

Emily heard an all to familiar beeping interrupting her dreams and she rolled onto her side, scrunching her eyes briefly in an attempt to keep them shut and regain whatever sleep she still had left in her. You coffee always auto brewed and most mornings the two of you ignored it if you wanted to sleep in or have a morning session before parting ways. A chill ran through the room and she let out a small shiver, shifting to pull the covers tighter around herself and was surprised at just how easily she suddenly had the entire duvet in her hands.

Begrudgingly cracking her eyes open she looked around the room, it was still dark, sunrise being later and later as the city sunk fully into autumn. Rolling onto her back she was able to assess that you definitely weren’t in bed with her, the bathroom light was off but the fan was on, a likely sign you’d had a shower and started your day already. The second sign being that your pyjamas were strewn over one of the chairs across from the bed, your phone absent from the nightstand.

She knew that you were likely letting her sleep until you absolutely had to kick her out, but the exhausted part of her was really hoping maybe this was a quick thing and you’d come back to bed. She perked up when a light at the bottom of the stairs flicked on, her ears picking up the sound of your voice. Either someone was over or you were on the phone, but either way you sounded far less than pleased.

Letting out a soft sigh she pushed up to sitting, stretching out her body and rubbing at her eyes as she willed herself out of bed and into the cool morning air. She tiptoed quietly over to the door, if you did have a house guest this early, you likely didn’t need them knowing that you’d had overnight company. After listening for a couple of minutes she determined that you were definitely on the phone, there was barely any time for someone else to get a word in and whenever they did, downstairs was silent aside from the pacing of your heels or sound of coffee brewing. Emily crossed the room again, quickly getting redressed and collecting her things, quietly making her way down the staircase to the main floor, finding you with your back to her.

“Patterson I swear to god if you hang up on me— Yes! I already know that. He doesn’t need a parent or guardian if he’s of age. Did he ask you to call her? No. Exactly—What did I just say? Like hell you need to print him! You’re not just toeing the line you’re by far crossing it! Don’t think I know you just want him booked to get your name all over the press, I’ll have your fucking badge.” A slight pause while you pinched at the bridge of your nose, a voice chattering on the other side of the line, “no. Of course I don’t think you’re just going to toss him back out onto the street. Mr. Dalton is already on his way down there to make sure you don’t think about breaking any other rules or laws and believe me I’ll be making a trip down there myself to talk to your Captain.” Hanging up the phone you dropped it to the island, stopping to take a hefty swig of coffee, “fuck.”

You finally turned back to the island, dropping onto a stool and pulling your laptop toward you, movement out of the corner of your eye causing you to glance up, jolting slightly as you realized Emily was on the same floor as you.

“Shit, sorry. I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“No, no. Don’t worry about it.” She replied, smiling softly as she stepped into the room. You made a noise, gesturing toward the empty to go coffee mug beside the coffee pot and she took the hint, mixing it to her liking. “Anything I can help with?”

You nearly snorted, glancing up to her, “morally, ethically and legally? No.”

“Oh…kay…” She took a sip of the coffee to make sure it was right before popping the lid on and you let out a frustrated sigh.

“Jordan got picked up for a drunk and disorderly last night.”

“Jordan?”

“Heather’s son.” You grimaced.

“Ah.” She nodded, suddenly more than well aware the severity of the situation, “DUI?”

“Luckily he didn’t get that far. But this fucking prick Patterson… fucking white shield who thinks he’s hot shit…” you grumbled, “he pays paparazzi to follow around teenage and older kids of politicians, especially at bars or parties. Tips them off to whenever he knows security is escorting them, they get the pictures, he gets to swoop in and make a couple of bullshit arrests, they split the bank. He thinks its gonna be his way up the chain.”

“Sounds like a piece of shit.”

“He is.” You mumbled, “and now I get to spend the rest of the weekend putting out fires and trying to keep this out of the press and away from Heather. Lord knows she’ll only lose her shit and knowing Jordan he’ll turn something flammable into an explosion. I—” you were cut off by your phone ringing and you immediately picked it up, “Yeah? I don’t care that it’s only five in the morning, the car is coming to the back entrance and you are to get Jordan into it without a single soul seeing him. Drive him back home, make sure he’s in the guest house, I’ll call Rob.”

Emily picked up her coffee cup, tapping on the island to gather your brief attention, giving you a little wave thank you for the coffee and to let you know she was saying goodbye. All things considered the best option for her right now was to get out of your hair.

**

“Shit, shit, shit!”

Getting an early or overnight call for a case on a Saturday morning was already annoying as is, but this was linked to one of the cases they had been working on that week. Meaning the call was Penelope saying she’d found an out of state connection and everyone was to be at the jet in thirty. While Emily’s go bag was in the car, it only had enough outfits for a few days and the one she’d worn the night previous certainly wasn’t Section Chief appropriate.

“Take whatever you need.” You sleepily waved in the direction of your closet, flicking on the bedside lamp before rolling over and going back to sleep as she began to rummage through your clothes.

Emily made it to the jet just in the nick of time, dropping her bag and managing to grab a coffee and bottle of water before settling into an empty seat across from Tara. She could feel the other woman’s eyes on her, examining the outfit choice and she shifted in her seat, the shirt was definitely a little snug around her chest but it was the best option she could find quickly.

“That’s a nice colour.” Tara complimented, “looks really good on you.”

“Oh. Uh, thanks.”

“It new?”

“No,” she let out a semi awkward laugh, scrambling to come up with some kind of fib, “kind of old, figured I’d start cleaning out my closet last night, grabbed the first thing I could.” She shuffled in her seat again, tugging the fabric away from her chest before leaning forward to grab a case file, “what’d Garcia find? Do we know what we’re walking into?”

“Second page.” Tara replied, the corner of her lips curving up into a smirk and Emily could feel her cheeks burning pink, feeling like she was back in high school hiding a secret from her mother.

**

You sped through the doorway to Heather’s office, placing a now lukewarm coffee down on her desk as the check in that you were there before briskly turning around and she barely looked up from her laptop.

“Sorry, traffic on the I-395 was a fucking mess. I’ve never seen so many accidents this early in the morning.”

“It’s getting icy out there.” She replied, her eyes still on the screen in front of her, “turned the heater on in your office, you’re welcome.”

“Thank you.” You replied with a huff, barely making it to the doorway before the wheels started turning in Heather’s brain and she eyes shot up.

“Hold up!” She called and you froze on the spot, turning back to face her, “you live uptown…”

“Yup…” you nodded, feeling the heat creeping up the back of your neck.

“And if you were coming from the Waldorf you would have taken Pennsylvania.”

“Yes again.” You nodded, nearly gulping. Heather surveyed you for a moment, her eyes narrowing as her lips twitched up into a grin.

“It’s Thursday…”

“You ever heard of wine Wednesday Heather? Zooz has an incredible happy hour and it’s walking distance from Em’s.”

“Hmm.” Her head titled, “must be a nice place.”

“I have work to do.” You began to turn away again, but she called out once more.

“Speaking of, pick a hotel for Sarasota this morning and Elise will book it.”

“I thought we were going to Laguna?”

“They changed locations, something about the right hall not being available.” She shrugged, “at least Florida’s an excuse for a shopping trip.”

“Huh…” your head titled as a grin broke out on your lips, “I could use a new swimsuit.”

“Could always go without one.” She smirked back and you rolled your eyes.

“Very professional.”

“We’ll have a private terrace.” She replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“And here I thought I was picking the hotel.”

“You’ll pick something suitable; cost isn’t a concern.” She shrugged, “I’m not going to be slumming it in Florida for a week and not indulge.” Her eyes flicked up and down your body, “hell, why don’t you call Tony, take the afternoon to get some shopping done.”

“He’d love that.” You laughed as you thought it over.

“I’m sure he’s not the only one.” She replied, tilting the screen of her laptop back as her eyes fell back down to it once again, a smirk remaining on her lips.

**

Girl’s night at Garcia’s always meant a couple of cocktails and when Tara had offered to drive, having to be up early the next morning, everyone was on board. JJ was the first drop off, leaving Emily in the front seat with Tara navigating the streets of Washington.

“What is going on with you?” Tara asked, a small laugh leaving her lips as she glanced over at the other woman.

“What?”

“Your nerves are radiating off you and you keep shifting in your seat like a dog that hasn’t figured out if he’s going to the park or the vet.”

She laughed, “it’s nothing. I just went from not really recognizing the street to realizing I’ve got a friend who lives around here.”

Tara glanced at her watch, “it’s not that late, if you wanna make a pit stop or for me to drop you somewhere, I can do that.”

“No, no don’t worry about it.”

“Emily,” she prodded, “c’mon. I can keep a secret.”

“It’s nothing like that!” She swatted at her hand, “just haven’t seen her in a bit.”

“Call her or I’m pulling over the car.”

“I—what?” Her eyes darted up to the other woman who suddenly pulled into the right lane, “okay, okay!”

Your phone began to buzz on your desktop and you let out a soft sigh, thankful for the interruption as you pulled off your glasses, blinking your eyes a few times as you picked it up.

“Walton.”

“Hey, it’s Emily.”

“Oh, hey!” A smile crept onto your face, “what’s up?”

“I.. uh.. I was just in the neighbourhood, figured I’d see if you wanted to grab a drink?”

This sigh you let out this time was much wearier one that Emily could practically feel, “I would absolutely love to but I’m still at the office and likely will be for a few more ours.”

“On a Saturday?”

“Yup.” You exaggerated the word, popping the ‘p’, “bunch of extra tasks on hand this week and we’ve been spread pretty thin. I definitely can’t go anywhere until the boss does.”

“Shit.” She muttered and you reached across your desk for your agenda, flipping through a couple of pages.

“Looks like I can squeeze you in on Tuesday? Probably not ‘til ten at the earliest and I wouldn’t be able to stay.”

“No, no, don’t worry about it, the usual weekend is fine.”

“Weekend is all conference prep and we fly out Monday afternoon.”

“I would hate to add to your schedule, we can wait until you’re back.”

“It’s fine.” You laughed softly, “lord knows I could use the relief.”

“Alright.” She chuckled, “I’ll see you Tuesday.”

“I’ll call once I’m finished up, let you know when I’m on my way.”

“Sounds good. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Emily dropped her phone with a soft sigh, sliding it back into her pocket, a sense of relief washing over her when Tara pulled back into the left lane and signalled to make the turn towards her original destination.

“I thought you hadn’t seen her in a while?”

“Huh?” Emily’s brow furrowed as she looked up at her.

“’The usual weekend is fine’?” Tara raised an eyebrow, “who have you been meeting up with every week?”

“No one.” She fibbed, sinking deeper into the seat of the car.

“Oh come on Emily.” She laughed, “doesn’t take much to realize you’ve been spending time doing something other than work. You actually don’t reply to non urgent work texts on the weekends anymore, better moods Monday mornings…”

“No profiling the profiler!” Emily protested, punching Tara’s arm, “I thought I was getting a nice ride home, not an interrogation.”

“Okay, okay.”

Tara held up a hand in surrender, shaking her head at the other woman as she pulled up in front of Emily’s building. She said a quick thank you and goodnight, pulling out her phone when she was waiting for the elevator. If you were working this late on the weekend the least she could do was send over some dessert as a pick me up.

__________________

@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @supercriminalbean @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @scorpsik @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @regalmilfs4me @ara-a-bird @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @hopedoesntknow @venromanova @waitaminuteashh @noahrex @imlike-so-gaydude @wittygutsy @cx-emerald-cx cx cx @momily @nilaues @borinxnovak @soverign @v3nusxsky @mccdreamys-writes @l4yne @obsessedwjill @supercorpstan97 @asolitaryrose3 @lisqueen @mrs-prentiss @whitewinewithice @d33pd3sire-blog @daffodil-heart @maximoffcarter @i-lovefandom @chimnlex @moonlightjxuregui @chestnutninny @gamma-rae-bursts @just-moondust @idkifimasub @gaydragonwitch @dowsedwithbleach @divergentalwaysandforever-blog

[thirstywoso]

LESSONS IN PHOTOGRAPHY

Jessie Fleming x Reader

A/N: a little short one that I wrote in an hour

W/C: 1k

Warnings: not really smut but a little suggestive and some masturbation so MDNI 18+

so if you're looking for hardcore smut this is not it

Will do a part 2 which will be actual smut if I get a request for it

After your girlfriend signed with the Thorns your life in London was uprooted and together you made the move to Portland.

You'd both been to the city on occasions in the past but after living in Portland for a month now yourself and Jessie realised neither of you had really explored the place you now called home.

Your girlfriend clad in some white shorts and a black tank top yourself in dark blue shorts and a loose fitting white shirt, you found yourself downtown with a checklist of places you "MUST" visit according to Jessie's teammate Sam.

No surprise to you, your better half had her camera hanging off of her shoulder with one hand in yours and the other holding a large cup of what she calls "liquid heaven"

As you wondered down the streets you noticed the way Jessie would stop occasionally, snapping photos of the roses, lining herself up to get the correct angles of the buildings she liked the look of. Jessie would spend sometime perfecting her shot at each place you went to.

Yourself a fan of history would read out facts from your phone about said buildings or architecture Jessie was capturing. Unbeknownst to you a few of those photos she captured were of you in deep thought or in awe of what you were looking at. You really were the perfect match.

Jessie loved her camera almost as much as you and was hardly seen without it. That being said one of the few things she loved more was capturing you, from every single angle.

She enjoyed capturing the way your lip would tuck between your teeth as you would concentrate on one of your crossword puzzles, the way that vein would pop out of your neck when you were frustrated with whatever had you occupied. She would never get sick of taking these photos, especially the ones capturing your smile and the warmth behind your eyes.

You'd never really known this about Jessie until the day was almost coming to an end and you'd caught her taking a photo of you. After questioning Jessie and adding slight pressure when she wouldn't tell you anything and mimicking zipping her mouth shut, locking it and throwing away the key. You finally broke her finding out all about Jessie's little habit profusely blushing as she told you.

Returning to the apartment later on that evening you has begged Jessie to show you the photos she'd taken of you. Opening her laptop you saw the folder titled 'My girl" and your heart swelled, then almost combust when you saw the number of photos in the album. 4,332 to be exact.

"Oh Jessie" you say looking at her

She returns your gaze nervously "too much?"

"You're perfect Jess" you say leaning in to kiss her.

Pulling away Jess can't help but look into your eyes as she fiddles with her fingers. "I have a question... well more of a request which I've kinda wanted to do for awhile"

She pauses for a breath unsure how to go on. "Go ahead?" You say anxiously waiting to see what the request was.

"Iwanttophotographyounaked" she rushes out, once noticing your confusion she repeats herself this time a little slower, taking a deep breath "I want to photograph you naked, if that's okay?"

"Yeah?" You question excitedly.

"Yeah"

After discussing how you were going to go about it Jessie led you into your shared bedroom. Kissing you before she helped you remove your clothes.

"Are you sure, if you want to stop we can at anytime"

"I'm sure" you confirm.

"I want you to lay on your side with your head propped up in your hand" she begins to direct you.

You do as she says and get into position, after a few clicks Jessie then asks you to change position. Repeating this for awhile as you pose in various ways for her, occasionally complimenting you, telling you how good your jawline looks or the way the light cascades down the swell of your breasts.

She couldn't help but be in awe of how beautiful you looked.

Getting more bold Jessie then started directing you to pose in some more compromising positions like with your head thrown back or your hands squeezing your chest.

You couldn't deny that it was turning you on being told exactly what to do by Jessie.

Eventually being more bold yourself you began to touch yourself for Jessie, the clicks of her camera becoming faster.

Your hand snakes between your legs finding your evident arousal.

You slid your fingers along your folds spreading your wetness, Jessie's mouth watering as she captured the way your sex glistened.

She made sure to take in the way you bit your lip, your legs as they spread wider, the way your hand furiously rubbed between your legs your finger tips as the swiped across your clit.

"Fingers inside" Jessie demands

You'd be a fool not to comply and with that two of your fingers are swallowed into your wanting pussy with ease.

You were embarrassingly wet but showing off for Jessie you didn't care.

"Curl those fingers baby I want to see the pleasure on your face"

Taking photos of every inch of you she couldn't get enough wanting to capture every single part of this moment.

After a few more directions from Jessie regarding position and how to touch yourself you were right on the edge.

Your girlfriend practically drooling as your face contorted in pleasure, snapping the pictures of your screwed up face as you came and the arousal spread across your thighs.

Taking your fingers and sucking them clean putting on a show for Jessie as she continued to snap away with her mouth agape.

"Fuck it" she groaned almost throwing her camera to one side as she pounced on you.

"I need to taste you"

Shoving your fingers covered in your slick into her mouth, her eyes roll back as she swirls her tongue around your digits releasing them with a pop.

"I think it's only fair I get to fuck you after that little show"

[toasterpancakes]

Go get em’ tiger

Austin Butler Fanfiction

Austin Butler x you | Drabble

Summary: A snippet of domestic life with Austin before the Golden Globes.

“Come in,” you call out absently, your fingers giving no pause as they continue to fly across the keyboard in front of you. You’ve become so accustomed to the occasion knocks to the door of the room you call your home office that have peppered the last few hours of the day. It had started with Austin’s personal assistant coming in to ask if you had seen the spare keys to one of his cars, and followed with his publicist (“Do you want a coffee? We are ordering in”), a stylist (“I’m so sorry to ask you this but did you have any extra safety pins by any chance?”) and ending with his personal assistant again (“We’re grabbing dinner for everyone, do you want something?”) coming in to ask various questions.

You finish up the sentence you are currently working on as you hear the door creak open before it shuts with a soft click. You expect to hear a question thrown your direction, but the silence has you puzzled. You toggle your mouse to hit the save button - a habit which you’ve formed years ago after having lost a document too many after being bested by technology failing on you, and crane your neck to peer over one of the two screens which you have in front of you. A pair of blue eyes meet your gaze, and you find your lips splitting into a smile.

“Am I disturbing?” His voice cuts through the space between you. Austin doesn’t move from where he is leaning back casually against the door. You drop back down into your chair, legs shuffling slightly, wheeling the office chair slightly to your right so you have an unobstructed view of him.

“Most definitely,” you say without so much as a pause, and you see Austin’s lips quirk upwards into a half smirk.

“I see,” Austin hums patronisingly in response, playing along, as he pushes himself up, legs striding across the floor of your office with an easy gait, easily reducing the space between you. He perches himself in front of you, on the edge of your office desk, “well I’m sorry to be interrupting such important business.”

“Very important business,” you say with a nod which you follow with a tilt of head towards the computer screen.

“Nothing less,” Austin says as he eyes you from his perch, arms crossed loosely across his chest. You content yourself with letting your gaze drift from his face down the rest of his body taking note of his styled hair, face with barely there make up for the red carpet to cover blemishes. He still has on a loose flannel, the top three buttons undone, and dark sweat pants. Austin’s gaze follows your hand as you reach out to tug the end of his shirt lightly.

“Don’t you have to change soon?” You ask only for him to shrug.

“Yeah, probably,” he says unfazed as he reaches out to envelop your hand with his. Austin’s palm is warm, and slightly calloused. You follow the tugging motion coming from his palm and limber to a stand. Austin manages to manoeuvre you into the space between his legs. Your place your palms flat on his thighs as he weaves his arms in the gap between your arms and body, pulling you as close to him as the position would allow.

“Are you very sure you don’t want to come?” He asks, his fingertips finding themselves wandering beneath the back of your top to meet the skin of your lower back. He moves to lean his forehead against yours only for you to retract your head. It makes Austin frown, a brown lifting slightly in question.

“They’ll kill me if I mess up their work,” you say opting instead to bring a hand up to the nape of his neck, your thumb rubbing the space below his ear in a circular motion. Austin lets out an audible sigh, but he doesn’t say anything - because he knows better than to grumble. Austin knew the value of hard work and wasn’t one to mess up work that someone else had put themselves into. He settles instead for letting the weight of his neck sag into the palm of your hand while letting his eyes flutter shut.

“I wish you were coming with me,” he says, eyes still shut.

“Well you know, important business and all,” you joke. Truth to be told it wasn’t work which was keeping you from going as his plus one to the Golden Globes, but more because, as you had told him, this was all Austin, his time to shine - and you didn’t want to take away from it by having the media and audience overshadow him and his work with less savoury headlines.

You could see it now, an article titled “Austin Butler and girlfriend sighted at the Golden Globes - trouble in paradise?” - with a long, entirely false and made-up story about how you both were on the rocks all because you walked two steps behind him on the red carpet. You both were out as a couple, but liked your privacy and kept your relationship out of the public eye as much as possible; yet it only made the media vultures worse, spinning every little glance they could get into a sensational, elaborate rumour.

Austin sighs as he opens his eyes. He lifts the weight of his neck off from your hand, taking your palm in his, he skims the back of your knuckles with his lips - a move that wouldn’t mess up his hair or make up - before dropping both your hands in between your bodies.

“I’ll be home after.”

“You should go for the after-party,” you tell him as he rubs his thumb along the back of your hand, “you’ll have lots to celebrate.”

Your words make him huff out while shaking his head in true Austin fashion - always doubting himself, slow to believe he was as good as they said.

“I rather celebrate with you,” he says an undercurrent of doubt running through his voice, clearly not believing that there would be anything to celebrate.

“I’ll be here when you get back,” you promise to the blue eyes staring back at you, “with peanut butter and jelly,” you continue and you see the twinkle that lights up in his eyes. Peanut butter and jelly - unusual, you would think if you looked at Austin, but it was a comfort food of sorts, something that you knew reminded him of his Mom.

He opens his mouth to say something when a rap of knuckles against the door of your home office interrupts. Austin does groan outwardly this time, because work was work but he hated when work took him away from you.

“Yeah,” he calls out, knowing that they’re looking for him. The door creaks open and his publicist sticks her head in.

“They need you for outfit now,” she says, darting a glance at you both. Austin had his head turned so his side profile faces her, while also effectively shielding you from her view, as if he were trying to keep distinct his work and private life.

“I’ll be out in three,” he calls and she nods, stepping and shutting the door behind her.

“Go,” you say, offering him a smile.

“Say bye before I leave?” He asks, an almost child-like quality to the deep, raspy voice.

You nod in agreement and Austin brings the back of your hand up to his lips again. He keeps his gaze connected with yours as he presses a kiss into your knuckles.

“Go get ‘em tiger,” you say with a wink as he slides off the table.

“Yes m’am,” he offers you a lopsided grin, as he goes hands in pockets towards the door towards his first golden globe.

[sensualnoiree]

astro notes: daily transit 5/7 TAURUS NEW MOON

This New Moon in Taurus is particularly significant, offering a positive and supportive energy that aligns with the recent Jupiter-Uranus conjunction. Here's a detailed summary of its key features:

Exalted New Moon: The Moon is exalted in Taurus, a sign associated with stability, peace, and sensual gratification. This sets a positive tone for the entire lunar cycle, emphasizing harmony and ease in various aspects of life.

Alignment with Jupiter and Venus: The New Moon occurs in Jupiter's bound and is accompanied by Venus, which is also in its domicile in Taurus. This alignment further enhances the positive and supportive qualities of the New Moon, suggesting a period of growth, abundance, and harmony.

Venus's Combustion: While Venus is technically entering the combustion range with the Sun, indicating a period of transformation and renewal for Venusian themes, its position in Taurus, its own domicile, suggests that this transformation will be supportive and not overly challenging.

Jupiter's Synodic Reset: Jupiter, however, is going through a synodic reset, being under the beams of the Sun. This indicates a period of transformation and renewal for Jupiterian themes, but with the support of Venus and the overall positive energy of the New Moon, this reset is seen as a positive development rather than a setback.

Sun's Influence on Jupiter and Uranus: The Sun's conjunction with Uranus and subsequent conjunction with Jupiter further amplifies the energy of the recent Jupiter-Uranus conjunction, bringing positive momentum and support for change and growth.

~RISING SIGNS~

❤️‍🔥 Aries Rising (Taurus in the 2nd House): - Focus on financial stability and material security. - Opportunities for increasing income or acquiring valuable possessions. - A time to reassess your values and priorities regarding money and possessions. - Potential for new sources of income or a shift in financial circumstances.

🐐 Taurus Rising (Taurus in the 1st House): - A period of personal growth and self-improvement. - Emphasis on self-care, self-image, and personal development. - New beginnings in how you present yourself to the world. - Opportunities for enhancing your physical appearance or expressing your unique identity.

🌬 Gemini Rising (Taurus in the 12th House): - A focus on spirituality, introspection, and inner growth. - Time for retreat, reflection, and connecting with your subconscious mind. - Potential for healing and releasing past wounds or limiting beliefs. - Pay attention to your dreams and intuition, as they may provide valuable insights.

🦀 Cancer Rising (Taurus in the 11th House): - Emphasis on social connections, friendships, and group activities. - Opportunities for expanding your social network and joining new groups or organizations. - Focus on your hopes, wishes, and aspirations for the future. - Collaborative projects or teamwork may be highlighted during this time.

🦁Leo Rising (Taurus in the 10th House): - Focus on career advancement, professional goals, and public image. - Opportunities for recognition, success, and achievement in your career. - Time to reassess your long-term goals and ambitions. - Potential for new career opportunities or a change in your professional direction.

🌾 Virgo Rising (Taurus in the 9th House): - Emphasis on higher education, philosophy, and spiritual beliefs. - Opportunities for travel, exploration, and expanding your horizons. - Focus on personal growth through learning and new experiences. - Potential for gaining new insights or perspectives that broaden your worldview.

⚖️ Libra Rising (Taurus in the 8th House): - Focus on shared resources, intimacy, and transformation. - Opportunities for deepening your connections with others on a profound level. - Time to address issues related to trust, intimacy, and shared finances. - Potential for personal transformation through letting go of old habits or attachments.

🦂 Scorpio Rising (Taurus in the 7th House): - Emphasis on relationships, partnerships, and cooperation. - Opportunities for forming new partnerships or deepening existing ones. - Focus on harmony, balance, and mutual understanding in your relationships. - Potential for significant developments in your personal or business partnerships.

🏹 Sagittarius Rising (Taurus in the 6th House): - Focus on health, work, and daily routines. - Opportunities for improving your health and well-being through lifestyle changes. - Time to reassess your work environment and daily habits. - Potential for new job opportunities or a change in your work situation.

🐐 Capricorn Rising (Taurus in the 5th House): - Emphasis on creativity, self-expression, and romance. - Opportunities for pursuing creative projects or hobbies that bring you joy. - Focus on developing your unique talents and skills. - Potential for new romantic relationships or a deepening of existing ones.

⚡️ Aquarius Rising (Taurus in the 4th House): - Focus on home, family, and emotional security. - Opportunities for creating a more nurturing and supportive home environment. - Time to address any issues related to your family or personal history. - Potential for making changes to your living situation or finding a sense of emotional grounding.

🐠 Pisces Rising (Taurus in the 3rd House): - Emphasis on communication, learning, and local community. - Opportunities for improving your communication skills and connecting with others. - Focus on short trips, siblings, and neighbors. -Potential for new learning experiences or intellectual pursuits that stimulate your mind.

follow for more astro insights like this and support me over on yt @quenysefields or instagram sensualnoiree

[statementlou]

my post yesterday about why I don't really care if Louis Tomlinson supports starbucks shocked me by actually circulating and getting notes and obviously I like validation and appreciation.... but I feel kind of weird about my big contribution to the topic being something that might come off as discouraging attempts to help Palestine. Feeling powerless in the face of such injustice is horrible and scary and traumatizing and while there are certain things that I do not think make much difference (like boycotting irrelevant targets), that's NOT how I feel about the situation in general! We CAN make a difference and help the Palestinian people! It can feel impossible to fight against all that power and propaganda and military might- but it has been done successfully over and over, colonialism has been destroyed in one place after another a hundred times in the last century, apartheid regimes have fallen, occupations have ended, because over and over, always, even all the military might in the literal world is less powerful than a united front of the PEOPLE. As Ursula K LeGuin said, "We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings", and as Louis Tomlinson said "The power and magic comes from the people, you guys. Don't undermine your role in all of this" and "get off the 'gram and into the streets"!

Under the cut are things you can do that I believe actually directly impact the Palestinian people and the Israeli government, including some easy ones, and the key to a successful movement is to have every type of contribution, to have NUMBERS. However- it is also necessary to have people willing to do the actual work of fighting injustice, not just changing their consumer habits or yelling at people online. I strongly encourage people to explore becoming physically involved in activist work, and not to see it as yet another tiring obligation but rather as a way to help yourself feel less overwhelmed and exhausted. Feeling powerless and defenseless is a trauma that follows us into every corner of our lives, but standing up and working for change can not only save lives, but is good for your own mental health as well, I promise.

I can't make you an exhaustive list of resources, only tell you some tactics that I believe are actually useful. I'm not an expert or whatever, but I have been actively involved in social justice advocacy, activism, and direct action for over 20 years and am drawing on that history of both things that worked and were great and things that were not from my personal experiences. Thank you to @captainrayzizuniverse for helping me (but she didn't see the post any stupid things said by mistake are entirely on me), and especially for pointing out a big (typical white person) slip up, which was to almost forget the very first item on this list: Listen to, support, and amplify Palestinian voices!!! The whole starbucks issue wouldn't even exist if people just went by this single important guideline and did the things Palestinians were asking for rather than making up other things to do instead. In life altogether, and speaking as a disabled person god does this come up a lot: if you want to help someone, start by asking them what they need and then do that even if it isn't what you think they should want. Don't fucking wing it!! Join local groups organizing for Palestine: the people united are powerful, but only if they are united and working in large groups! Join a group! This is hard because... how? who? And I can't answer that for everyone but I can tell you that in the US JVP (Jewish Voice for Peace) is doing a huge amount of very accessible recruiting, you can just join (you don't need to be Jewish) and get involved straightaway in the great actions they're putting on. PYM (Palestinian Youth Movement) is not open to everyone to join but you should definitely follow them on SM to keep up on actions and maybe find ways to support. If you're a student I bet there is some kind of group at your school?

Go to protests: protest works, period. The general politician rule of thumb is that anyone who bothers to actually go out and march represents 10-100 voters. When they look at the numbers (like- '500-1000 people protested the most recent bill you signed') they do this math and they worry. But also honestly if it's something you can manage- it's good for you. It helps. Even if you just go alone and don't talk to anyone, being in a crowd of hundreds of people feeling the same things you are, caring as much as you do, it helps. If you can, yell along to the chants as loud as you can. Get fired up and use that energy to keep going and not despair!

Call and write officials: if you live in the US or UK this is HUGE. What I said above about how they count people at protests as standing for more people who didn't bother but agree? Same with phone calls for sure, it REALLY pressures them. Many orgs make this really easy- I get emails all the time with links to send a letter in a single click or click to call and all you have to do is read the script, get on some lists I guess? But many sites also have this feature, JVP does for example

Support BDS: the Palestinian led BDS have been doing the work of isolating and chipping away at Israel for 19 years and like I said, the actions of the masses only work if we are united behind a few strategic targets rather than all over the place; they have made this possible. It's good to avoid buying from the companies they target; even better to work on the big divestment campaigns. For example, student groups pressuring the big universities to divest from BDS targets echo the successful University divestment efforts that helped end apartheid in South Africa.

Send money: money helps, immediately and concretely, and again if we are many, each person doesn't have to do a lot. Do what you can spare, it all adds up. This has been painful with Gaza for sure, with millions donating but aid being blocked. I don't have The Answer but here's a group I found that actually seems to be getting aid in, and here's a spread sheet of gofundmes- note that people who have foreign passports do not have to pay the horrible border crossing fees, so you may wish to focus on funding those who don't have that privilege. this could maybe be better and there was some other stuff I wanted to say about doing activism to tie up the "activism as self care" thing from above and also bringing it back around to talk about Louis more but I'm tired and I'm hungry right now and this is a lot already. So. Bye lol sorry. send me asks if any of that is something you care about or want to hear

[bubbleonice]

Carlos Sainz / Rebecca Donaldson / Isa Hernaez

So let:s dive into this and see what is going on in this love triangle. and go further deeper into the connections, and whatever else the cards want to tell us.

Carlos:

Justice reversed:

 The general meaning of Justice reversed indicates that you are either not getting what you deserve or on the other extreme, are involved in some activities which are causing harm to others. The worst thing about the Justice tarot in reversed position is that you are not even ready to take accountability for your actions.

Justice cards show a certain kind of blame game going on between . The Justice reversed in love and relationship readings is a clear indication that it is because noone is ready to take accountability.

Ace of wands reversed:

indicates trials and tribulations that you will face in the near future. You might not have any direction, which leads to being uninspired or unmotivated. At this point of your life, you might not know what you really want to do. Maybe there has been a sudden and unexpected change and he might be struggling to adjust.

When the Ace of Wands Reverses, we now see a very definite ‘thumbs down’ signal. When the Reversed Ace of Wands appears, we might be looking at a missed opportunity or chance. There are definetely some sort of regret going on here. Time to work on releasing the old so that one can embrace the new. Both you and your life may need a total make-over. So yes, Carlos definetely is struggling with the new and still attached to the old, and needs to release the old in order to embrace the new in his life. He might or might not have convinced others but is it possible he hasn’t convinced himself? Is there a hesitation about the direction he say he want to head in and what he want to do? he might be conflicted and desperately frustrated.He knows he should be doing something, but what that something is he hasen’t got a clue. 

8 of pentacles reversed:

The Eight of Pentacles Reversed indicates a lack of commitment. The Eight of Pentacles Reversed can suggest that he is bored in his relationship?  Does it all feel like too much hard work?  Does he really love his partner (I sould think this apply to his current partner) or is he just with her for the rewards that may be gained? 

Isa:

Knight of Swords:

Swords is associated with thought, intellect, mental strength, and integrity. They can also represent conflict, hardship, and misfortune.

Swords is associated with thought, intellect, mental strength, and integrity. They can also represent conflict, hardship, and misfortune. Big moves, impulsive decisions and following your gut, all while keeping your bigger vision in mind, will be the key to success right now. 

8 of cups reversed:

Looks like she has some trouble moving on. Her life is afore her, and she`s made every attempt imaginable to stand still. In this denial of life and refusal to move on, she is creating an air of unhealthy habits and behavior around her. Sometimes this card can even highlight being in a state of denial. Plasticity will no longer cut it. Take the time to seek quiet. She needs to bravely turn her attention inward, to any place within her heart that feels empty, insecure or unfulfilled. Self-investment will fill this empty place, not the attainment of something “out there.”

Rebbeca:

9 of pentacles reversed:

gold-digger, marrying for money/ status, sex trafficking/exploitation/work, dishonesty, deceit, theft, property damage, con artist, scams, cheap, superficial, no style. Well, this doesn`t sound good.

This card will appear often for people who are in a relationship for the wrong reasons, for example those who marry for money and status rather than love. It can simply be an indication the relationship has become too focused on the material or superficial aspects of life.

Queen of pentacles:

the Queen of Pentacles represents high social status, prosperity, wealth, luxury, success and financial independence. Pentacles represent coins/money, so again we see a link to money in this connection .

So from reading the cards combined, seems like Carlos and Isa still have some issues. Carlos has his regrets and Isa is in denial. Rebecca on the other hand seems to see this opportunity as a personal financial gain for her. I`m going to pull a few oracle cards to clarify the connections a little bit more.

Carlos:

Time: Im afraid its too late to take action

Unappreciated: I felt like you didn`t care

Isa:

Space: I need more time to think

Hope: I haven`t given up on us yet

Rebecca:

Unsatisfied: I am not happy where things are going

Unworthy: You`re a better person than I am

I guess the cards are pretty self explanatory, but just to clarify my interpretation. Carlos and Isa faced a sudden and unexpected change, and neither one of them is ok with the changes. Carloz feels remorse while Isa is having a hard time moving on. However, they are both trying to do the best they can. She trying to find peace within herself, and him trying to make his new relationship work. Rebecca seems to not be too happy wih how things are progressing. She can feel Carlos slightly distancing himself. And I understand my cards correctly, she is more into this due to money and prestige, and not so much for the love.

I hope you enjoy this reading. And please keep in mind that this is done for entertainment purposes only. I use tarotcards and oracle cards actively in my readings, as well as my intuition. Energies come and go, what is relevant for today’s reading might change in a few weeks time. But some aspects will always remain constant and the same. Thank you.❤️

[4dkellysworld]

While practicing no thoughts

The more I do this during the day, the more I realise just how repetitive and therefore useless (I don't mean it in a negative way but more from an objective perspective, there's no point in repeating the exact same thoughts over and over) most of my Vanessa's thoughts really are, it really is a habit. I will notice she'll be thinking the exact same thing multiple times in a day but now I am aware of it and I question "hang on, what's the use in thinking that again?" and just being aware of that in itself, the thought naturally drops and silence resumes.

Another type of useless thought I observed is when I observe strangers, my Vanessa's mind will sometimes narrate her thoughts and observations like "oh she's got that cake. Is she gonna eat that now? Cos same" then I'll remind myself "what's the use in thinking that? It's none of my business, meh" and it naturally drops.

It gets easier the more you do it. I had a moment yesterday that felt so bizarre but it was just me experiencing being awareness. You know when you're watching a tv show and you yourself aren't thinking anything in your mind, you're just watching it? After my mind was quiet for a while, I felt exactly that - I was watching my surroundings in the physical world. It felt so unusual because the experience of watching the world was also coming from a position/understanding/perspective of not being part of the world I was observing in any way - the same way you know you're not part of the TV show's world when you're watching it. The 'I' observing all this was distinctly not Vanessa, I felt it! Or rather, it was an innate knowing.

I had observed my environment many times before I started letting go of the ego and it never felt like that. It felt so weird my ego snapped in cos it was a bit freaked out lol. But this is what being the pure witness is. It really is something that can only be experienced! You can read all you want but it will never accomplish what experiencing it yourself will do because this can't truly be captured accurately with words which are just limited concepts and thoughts. (Reading to understand is still a great first step though!)

This perceived and experienced knowledge is the only knowledge that does us any good. We can read everything on the subject, but it doesn’t help. Our life doesn’t change much, and it doesn’t because we don’t integrate the knowledge into our beingness through realization. Realized knowledge is nonintellectual, although the means we use are intellectual. We use our mind, we direct our mind toward the answer, but you will discover that the answer does not come from the mind. It comes from a place just behind the mind. It comes from the realm of knowingness, the realm of omniscience. By quieting the mind through stilling our thoughts, each and every one of us has access to this realm of knowingness. Then and there you realize, you make real. You know and you know that you know. - Lester Levenson, Session 6: Realization - Keys to Ultimate Freedom

[carpethisnoctem]

Awakening the Vampyric Soul: Symptoms, Struggles, and Self-Discovery

A Vampyric awakening refers to a profound spiritual and energetic transformation where an individual awakens to their true vampyric nature. This awakening can be a life-altering process, leading to a heightened awareness of one’s energy, emotions, and even interactions with the subtle realms.

What is a Vampyric Awakening?

A Vampyric awakening is a recognition and acceptance of one’s latent vampyric nature. It is a process of expanded awareness where the individual becomes conscious of their ability to feed on energy, manipulate subtle energies, and tap into powers they have long carried within. Every person born with vampyric potential may not always recognize it immediately; some may "sleepwalk" through life until this process begins. The awakening allows them to connect to their Essential Self, the part of them that transcends their current lifetime and links them to a long, spiritual lineage.

Symptoms of a Vampyric Awakening

The symptoms of a Vampyric awakening can manifest both physically and spiritually:

1. Heightened Sensitivity to Energy: Individuals begin to notice subtle energy flows in their surroundings. They may feel drained in crowded spaces or overwhelmed by other people's emotions.

2. Physical and Emotional Fluctuations: The individual may experience physical weaknesses, such as fatigue, sensitivity to light, and cold hands, which are tied to their energy depletion. Emotional instability, like intense moods and a feeling of "separateness" from others, is common.

3. Changes in Feeding Habits: The need to feed on others' energy becomes apparent. This can start subtly with emotions or escalate to direct energy draws from others.

4. Expanded Perception: Many become aware of their ability to perceive auras or sense energy shifts in others. They may also experience clairaudience or telepathic impressions from others they share a connection with.

Highs and Lows of the Awakening

A Vampyric awakening is often a double-edged sword, filled with both exhilarating highs and challenging lows.

Highs:

- Empowerment: Awakened vampires often feel a sense of empowerment. They become attuned to the subtle realms and gain control over their feeding and energy manipulation abilities. This heightened awareness can lead to spiritual growth and greater control over their environment.

- Connection to Others: Awakened vampires can form deep, intimate connections with those they feed from. These connections are sometimes so profound that they create lasting bonds, both energetically and emotionally.

- Expanded Awareness: The awakening process grants a deeper understanding of one's place in the universe. The individual often experiences revelations about the cycles of life and death, as well as the nature of existence itself.

Lows:

- Energy Dependence: One of the key struggles during a Vampyric awakening is the newfound dependence on feeding. Vampires need to sustain their energy through feeding from others, which can be emotionally and ethically complex. Failure to feed adequately can lead to physical debilitation, sickness, or extreme fatigue.

- Isolation: The process of awakening can make an individual feel detached from "normal" people. This sense of separateness is often isolating, as few outside the vampyric community truly understand the experiences of an awakened vampire.

- Emotional Turmoil: Many individuals experience emotional ups and downs as their awareness increases. The influx of unfamiliar thoughts and sensations can cause confusion and anxiety.

How to Recognize If You Are Having a Vampyric Awakening

Recognizing a Vampyric awakening can be challenging, as many of the signs can be misinterpreted as common spiritual experiences or emotional issues. However, a few key indicators point to a true awakening:

1. Increased Sensitivity: If you find yourself more sensitive to energy, light, and even emotions, it may be a sign that you are awakening to your vampyric nature.

2. Unexplained Fatigue: Feeling constantly drained, even after rest, and only finding relief when engaging in energy exchanges with others is a common symptom.

3. Desire for Energy: A growing, instinctual need to draw energy from people, places, or even crowds may indicate the start of a Vampyric awakening.

4. Physical Changes: Symptoms like cold hands, sensitivity to sunlight, and fluctuating physical strength often accompany the awakening.

Conclusion

A Vampyric awakening is a transformative process that changes how one interacts with the world. While it brings newfound power and understanding, it also comes with unique challenges and responsibilities. Recognizing the signs of this awakening—such as heightened sensitivity, emotional fluctuations, and energy dependence—can help individuals navigate the process and embrace their vampyric nature.

[talonabraxas]

The Sun moves into "serious-minded" report:

This week we have the Sun entering "serious-minded" Capricorn on Thursday, December 21st. On the same day we have the (winter solstice), the official beginning of winter. On Friday, December 22nd, we have a (Mercury Cazimi in Capricorn), where the Sun in Capricorn will conjunct Mercury in Capricorn. This excellent transit to reset, restart a specific cycle. It is the (heart of the Sun) taking place at 12:50 PM, CST. Look for messages, increased synchronicities, advanced communications even with (Mercury Retrograde in Capricorn). The Cazimi is in an (Earth sign of Capricorn), that is practical, grounded, serious-minded, and ambitious.

You always want to pay attention when the Sun changes zodiac signs. There is a dramatic shift in energies between the Sun in "expansive" Sagittarius to "practical" Capricorn. The key is to identify the pattens, cycles, habits, traits, and the characteristics that impact your natal chart & solar charts. In Western Astrology (Tropical) is based on the Sun position and the seasons. All of the zodiac will be impacted by this transit depending on the astrological house placements. The Sun is a (personal planet/star), where you want to analyze where you have Capricorn both in the position of the planets, and the position of the Houses. That will provide direct insight on how this impacts you.

The Sun is the vital principle, the life force. It is the giver of life. Sun is hot, positive, fiery and authoritative. It is the element of individuality, what you are all your life, and his place in your horoscope tells where you shine the best , and where you can earn your success. The Sun is your spirit and your sense of ego/paternal image.

Capricorn is ruled by Saturn & the 10th House of--career, the occupation, career acquisition, accolades, the profession, business, standing in the world, sphere of influence, professional reputation, honors, awards, fame & fortune, authority figures, the boss, credit, status, and recognition in the career. This is a great time to look where you have your natal MC or (Mid-Heaven) and see if your career sector is being lighted up or if you have planets in the 10th House.

Capricorn is an (Earth Sign) and is considered (Cardinal Sign) in the modes/modality.

Earth signs include—Taurus, Virgo, & Capricorn.

Cardinal signs include—Aries, Libra, Cancer, & Capricorn.

Team Capricorn characteristics, include being--stern, task-oriented, grounded, practical, ambitious, strong, always climbing in the career, serious-minded, determined, able to overcome obstacles, plan every step, powerful, concentrative, laborious, forceful, cautious, conservative, thrifty, scrupulous, trustworthy, detailed thinkers, fatalistic, stubborn, domineering, make good friends, although bad enemies, brooding and egotistic.

Cosmic Tip:

Team Capricorn is a grounded (Earth sign), that puts an emphasis on being responsible, ambitious, powerful, and climbing the company latter. Capricorn is ruled by the 10th House of—career, the occupation, sphere influence, status, your professional reputation, having authority figures give you the green-light to advance in your career. Check in with your career sector and see if you're content with your progress. With Mercury Retrograde in Capricorn, excellent to revise, review, self-scout, rebuild, and restructure where you want to be in your career.

On the solar chart we will have the Sun, Mercury, Pluto, all in Capricorn forming a (stellium). You could find greater purpose in your career, recognizing your talents & skills, while others take notice. Being ambitious pays dividends, putting in the work to attract a promotion and reach new heights in your career sector. With Pluto in Capricorn there has been a transformational shift taking place on some level.

Of course, you have to include Saturn (the natural ruler to Capricorn), which is currently touring dreamy Pisces. Here Saturn requires discipline, being task-oriented, playing by the rules, regulations, and terms & conditions. While Pisces wants to escape down the rabbit hole, Saturn has to work extra hard in order to keep things on point. Saturn likes to produce rewards for those who do the work, make the sacrifice, and dedicate themselves.

Check in with your Sun, Moon, Rising/Ascendant signs. Where you have Capricorn, Saturn and 10th House in your natal chart. Also review where you have dominant placements in Capricorn in your natal chart.

Enjoy the "practical" Sun in Capricorn!

Keep an eye on the Mercury (Cazimi) on Friday, December 23rd. See what comes through during this influence. --Astrological House Astrology. Capricorn Zodiac by Tashina Suzuki

[theambitiouswoman]

Hello sweet person hope you're great!!

How do I unlearn old/unhealthy habits?

How do I stop being lazy?

Thanks in advance, Don't forget to take care of yourself and protect your peace💗

Hi love!

Unlearning habits, especially unhealthy habits starts with us recognizing that the habit is not healthy, or beneficial for us. We need to understand why and how we adopted those habits first. Once we do that, we can make a conscious decision to replace those habits. I am a huge advocate with replacing one thing for another, 0-100 so that we don't fall back into old patterns. It isn't easy, but it is effective. Forming a new habit is not a linear process and setbacks can happen regardless, so we want to do our best to not self sabotage. The key is to stay committed and persistent in practicing the habit until it becomes automatic.

Identify the habit: The first step in unlearning an unhealthy habit is to identify it. What is the habit that you want to change? Write it down and be specific.

Understand the triggers: Try to understand what triggers the unhealthy habit. Is it stress, boredom, or something else? Once you know the trigger, you can start to address it.

Replace the habit: Once you have identified the habit and the triggers, it's time to replace the habit with a healthier one. For example, if you tend to snack when you're bored, try taking a walk or doing something active instead.

Create a plan: Create a plan for how you will change the habit. Set specific, achievable goals and create a timeline for when you want to achieve them.

Stay accountable: Find someone to hold you accountable for your progress. This could be a friend, family member, or a coach.

Practice self-compassion: Remember that unlearning unhealthy habits takes time and effort. Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion along the way.

If you want to stop being lazy, you need to create goals for yourself. You need something to look forward to, that you will feel inspired or motivated to do. Once you have a goal, you need to break them down into small achievable goals from day to day to keep you going.

In short, you need to have a sense of purpose for your life.

Having a sense of purpose in life is important because it can provide direction, meaning, and fulfillment.

Provides direction: Having a purpose can help provide a sense of direction in life. It can help you prioritize your goals, make decisions, and guide you towards what is truly important to you.

Brings meaning and fulfillment: When you have a sense of purpose, it can bring a sense of meaning and fulfillment to your life. It can give you a reason to get up in the morning, and provide a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment when you achieve your goals.

Helps with resilience: Having a sense of purpose can help with resilience in the face of challenges and setbacks. It can provide a sense of motivation and determination to overcome obstacles and stay committed to your goals.

Improves mental health: Research has shown that having a sense of purpose is associated with better mental health outcomes, including lower rates of depression and anxiety.

Promotes physical health: Having a sense of purpose has been linked to better physical health outcomes, including lower rates of chronic disease, higher longevity, and better health behaviors.

If you want to stop being lazy, focus on a purpose for yourself and do the following:

Set goals: Setting clear and specific goals can help motivate you to take action and overcome laziness. Break down your goals into small, manageable steps and create a plan for achieving them.

Find motivation: Find something that motivates you and reminds you of why you want to overcome laziness. This could be a personal goal, a hobby, or a reward.

Create a routine: Establishing a routine and sticking to a schedule can help you overcome laziness by creating structure and consistency in your day.

Eliminate distractions: Identify the things that distract you and make it harder to be productive, such as social media or television. Limit your exposure to these distractions and create an environment that is conducive to productivity.

Start small: If you're feeling overwhelmed or unmotivated, start with small tasks or activities that you can easily accomplish. This can help build momentum and increase your motivation to take on bigger tasks.

Practice self-discipline: Overcoming laziness requires self-discipline and self-control. Train yourself to be disciplined by setting rules and boundaries for yourself and holding yourself accountable.

[entropy-game-dev]

A Postmortem for Phylogenesia Automatorum

It's finally time for the retrospective on my 2 week roguelite/incremental cellular automata game jam hybrid!

It all started when, in late December, I saw a post on Reddit about the New Years Incremental Game Jam. I was both excited and hesitant to participate - excited because I had, for a long time, wanted to try my hand at an incremental-style game, and hesitant because I had already spent a few months working only very sporadically on my main game, Stellar Terminus. Nevertheless I thought it was a good opportunity to learn some more about Gamemaker Studio 2, and also to get back into regular programming.

What went right

There were a few defining moments when it came to developing this game. My favourite types of incrementals were ones that had awesome visuals that evolve over the course of the game, in the forefront of my mind as I had recently played and enjoyed (the) Gnorp Apalogue. With that in mind, I chose to base my game on Conway's Game of Life - a dynamic, interesting interface that could directly present and represent the choices you make in the game. When I streamed my first programming session to Z, which was just a 1:1 implementation of the Game of Life, he suggested a roguelite direction for this game, and that immediately resonated with me - I could absolutely see randomised upgrades (styled as genetic mutations) being a way to shape your simulation, while keeping things fresh and interesting over the course of the game.

I am a sucker for music in videogames that dynamically changes. When I asked @weaponizedslob for another (who's doing a similar thing for the music for Stellar Terminus), he suggested that each unique plant would have their own looping instrument, and I fell in love with the idea. Having a song that you personally build up depending on your choices and combination of plants was very appealing, and he worked in the background to provide this while I kept on programming.

The next key moment in the game's development was adding all 10 plants, but specifically the 0range. What started as just a dumb pun (all of its values were set to 0 (except point values) so it had 0% chance to spawn and generate points) turned into one of the defining characteristics of the game whereby you had to manage buying it not so early that it would impact your points, but not so late that you'd need to spend a ton of points fishing for the right mutations to make it produce points.

And the final moment was something I have already previously talked about - Lucinius suggested the player be given 5 free resets at the start of each game. This solved so many problems at once: the fact that point gain was probabilitic and variable, that some plants were more tempramental than others, mitigation of bad luck when it came to upgrades, etc. It also provided a metric in which I could balance each plant such that on average, they would yield at least 1 and at most 2 upgrades within those 5 resets, more than enough in most runs to get a foothold.

Other positive aspects:

It was my first true solo game that I had completed and released! I had previously done some gamejams with the help of Lucinius and Maza, of course, but relying only on yourself is a feeling I enjoy.

I was able to stick to a timeline and scope. While there was a bit of scope creep, I had accounted for it and had the majority of the planned features done by week 1, allowing time for polish and balance.

Testing commenced early and often, although I have a bad habit of not playtesting things myself, which I need to do more of!

Porting the aesthetics and some generic UI code from Stellar Terminus saved me a heap of time and headache

The logo for the game, despite me doing it 1 hour before submission, turned out really well and I always discount how a little bit of effort presentation-wise can have a huge impact on people's perception of things.

So what could have been improved upon?

The biggest issues people have raised through both playtesting and comments on the game, were that the game could use more work on its balance. I completely agree with this assessment, and I touched on this in my previous blog. I think incrementals in general are incredibly hard to balance as humans do not have a very good sense for exponentially increasing numbers. Without completely reworking some systems, I tended towards an easier game. Making the game brutally hard would have stifled creativity, experimentation, and different builds, as players would have to tend towards an optimal strategy every game. There is definitely a balance to be struck, but considering the appeal of a lot of roguelites is "popping off" with a certain build, I was not too dissatisfied with how things turned out. Plus, players could always compete with others or themselves for the least amount of simulation resets to victory.

The simulation and overall concept of the game was also quite difficult to understand. This was something I really should have realised earlier, as given an initial configuration of the Game of Life, it is almost impossible to predict how it will evolve. When you throw in multiple plants with different rulesets, a random starting configuration, and probabilistic spawning and dying, a player has no real chance to understand the ins and outs of the system. Of course, I had designed it with a vision that you wouldn't need to, rather, the aim was to just get a sense of the overall vibe (for lack of a better word) of the simulation, and nudge it in the direction you want it to go. Given more time, I would have had a before/after demo play when you're hovering over each upgrade to help players' understanding.

My biggest technical misstep was definitely not having a web version of the game on release. The incremental genre is largely played in a browser, and while previously we had always submitted downloadables for gamejams, I really neglected to think about the audience for this one. I ended up rectifying this about a week later, but the web version is not at parity with the downloadable version, with its performance being worse, and its lack of music. And in the end, the most amount of votes came in the initial rush, and so I definitely missed the boat there!

Other negative aspects:

Some plants definitely could have felt/behaved in more unique ways. However, that would have required adding more parameters into the database, which would further muddy the underestanding of the entire simulation, so I decided against it for this version of the game.

UI is still an ongoing struggle for me. Everything here had buttons and mouseover text which was great, but low-res pixel art and my lack of artistic talent doesn't lend itself well to UI-heavy games.

The spaghetti code was REAL, especially within the button object. There was quite a bit of technical debt I had to overcome implementing new features, but at the same time some features were implemented blazing fast by disregarding encapsulisation and robust coding principles.

The name. Argh! It's not bad, but it doesn't really tell the average player what the game's about, and, confession time, every time you've seen me write it, I've just copy-pasted it from the itch.io page because I'm afraid I'm going to spell it wrong. At least it ranks well on Google (when it stops trying to auto-correct it)!

BONUS: Stuff I learned about Gamemaker Studio 2!

They reverted back to a 1-time payment model, a huge step in the right direction from their previous monthly subscription model. Not only that but now, you can export your game for any platform (except consoles) for free, and you pay a $100 1-time fee if you want to then make money from your game.

Having CSV files open doesn't result in compilation errors, unlike GMS1. This saved so much time as I was able to tweak plant values on the fly. Also, GMS2 now has a native CSV import function, which is nice.

Its code flagging features were really nice. I honestly hated Feather, which is their smart code comprehension system, but just simple things like "hey you haven't used this variable name yet", and color-coding for local vs instance variables were awesome when it came to intercepting bugs early.

There were some weird editor behaviours that I noticed - from the sometimes blurry rendering of text, having multiple of the same code window open, and inconsisten behaviour when it came to tabbing/highlighting text, it was definitely something I had to get used to, and felt like a step backward from GMS1. The way the windows were arranged were a lot nicer though which partially makes up for it.

My .exe files don't get flagged by windows! I think GMS1 is just too old at this point but sending files to friends for testing was a lot smoother here.

And that wraps up the postmortem… well, almost. I'm going to make another small post later because this one is already getting to be a monster, regarding future directions and wishes for the game. But in terms of positives and negatives, that pretty much everything I wanted to say. On the whole? Super happy with how this turned out and the wonderful comments from everyone wherever I posted about the game. I felt it was a nice, self-contained project that was able to nicely achieve the very specific vision I had for it upon conception, and it even resonated with some of my playtesters who were either indifferent to, or actively disliked, incrementals, which is a huge plus in my book!

Here are some bonus stats from itch.io regarding how it has gone over the past week and a bit:

Thanks for reading as always!

[unpluggedfinancial]

Financial Self-Improvement: Empower Yourself with Smart Money Habits

Step 1: Start With a Financial Assessment

Just like you would begin a fitness journey by assessing your current health, financial self-improvement starts with evaluating your financial situation. This means taking a good look at your income, expenses, debts, and savings. Ask yourself:

How much debt do I have, and what is my plan to pay it off?

Am I living within my means or relying on credit?

Do I have an emergency fund in place?

What are my long-term financial goals?

This honest assessment will give you a clear picture of where you are now and what you need to work on.

Step 2: Set Clear, Achievable Financial Goals

Without a destination, it's hard to make progress. Setting clear financial goals provides direction and motivation. Whether you want to pay off debt, save for a home, or invest in your future, defining these goals will guide your financial decisions.

Break down your goals into short-term (6 months to 1 year), medium-term (1 to 5 years), and long-term (5 years or more) objectives. For example, paying off high-interest debt might be a short-term goal, while investing for retirement could be a long-term objective.

Step 3: Budgeting—The Foundation of Financial Success

Budgeting is a key habit that separates financial success from financial stress. By creating and sticking to a budget, you ensure that your money is working for you, not the other way around. Start by listing all sources of income and tracking your expenses. Prioritize essentials, cut unnecessary spending, and allocate funds for savings and investments.

Budgeting also opens your eyes to "money leaks"—areas where you could be overspending without realizing it. Use budgeting apps or a simple spreadsheet to track your spending and hold yourself accountable.

Step 4: Build a Healthy Relationship with Money

A lot of financial self-improvement is about mindset. Cultivate a healthy relationship with money by understanding its true value. Money is a tool to provide security, freedom, and opportunity, not something to be feared or revered.

Focus on the psychology of money and work to break any negative patterns or habits, such as impulse buying or treating credit as an extension of your income. Mindful spending and saving will strengthen your financial resilience.

Step 5: Educate Yourself

The financial world is always evolving, and knowledge is power. Take time to educate yourself about personal finance, investing, and how money works. Whether you choose books, podcasts, blogs, or online courses, staying informed empowers you to make smarter decisions.

Step 6: Develop an Investment Strategy

Financial self-improvement isn’t just about saving; it’s also about growing your wealth through smart investing. Start by learning the basics of investing, including the power of compound interest, risk management, and diversification. Explore low-cost index funds, real estate, or even Bitcoin, depending on your risk tolerance and goals.

A common and effective strategy is Dollar-Cost Averaging (DCA)—investing a fixed amount of money at regular intervals, regardless of market conditions. This helps smooth out the impact of market volatility and builds wealth over time.

Step 7: Stay Consistent and Adapt

Consistency is the cornerstone of self-improvement. Whether it’s following a budget, investing regularly, or learning more about personal finance, progress takes time. Stay the course, and remember that financial improvement is a marathon, not a sprint.

At the same time, be flexible and willing to adapt. Life is unpredictable, and your financial strategy may need to change as your circumstances evolve. The key is to remain proactive and adjust your approach when necessary.

Conclusion: Financial Self-Improvement as a Lifelong Journey

Financial self-improvement is about more than just building wealth—it's about taking control of your life and creating a foundation for long-term success. By setting goals, developing smart money habits, and continually educating yourself, you can achieve the financial freedom that allows you to live life on your terms.

Take Action Towards Financial Independence

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[carolinaguerreno]

Carolina Guerreno: The Role of Financial Planning in Achieving Long-Term Goals

In a world characterized by constant change and economic unpredictability, financial planning is not just a luxury—it’s a necessity. Carolina Guerreno emphasizes that financial planning is the cornerstone of financial security and success, guiding individuals and families toward achieving their long-term goals. Whether it's buying a home, saving for retirement, funding education, or leaving a legacy for future generations, having a solid financial plan is essential for turning aspirations into reality.

What is Financial Planning?

Carolina Guerreno defines financial planning as a comprehensive process that helps individuals manage their finances to meet life goals. It involves evaluating your current financial situation, identifying your financial goals, and devising strategies to achieve them. A well-crafted financial plan typically addresses several key areas, including:

Budgeting and cash flow management

Debt management

Savings and investment strategies

Retirement planning

Tax planning

Estate planning

The foundation of financial planning, according to Carolina Guerreno, is understanding where you stand today and what you want to accomplish in the future. This long-term perspective enables individuals to make informed decisions about their money and to proactively address potential challenges.

Why is Financial Planning Crucial for Achieving Long-Term Goals?

1. Provides Clarity and Direction Carolina Guerreno highlights that financial planning offers clarity about your current financial situation and provides a roadmap for reaching your long-term goals. It helps prioritize financial decisions based on what matters most to you. Without a plan, it's easy to become overwhelmed or lose focus, making it harder to achieve your objectives.

2. Builds Financial Discipline A financial plan instills discipline in saving, spending, and investing. Carolina Guerreno notes that it encourages individuals to avoid impulse purchases, manage debt responsibly, and consistently save toward future goals. Developing a habit of regularly contributing to savings and investments can compound over time, resulting in significant long-term wealth accumulation.

3. Manages Risk Risk is an inherent part of life and finance, whether it’s the risk of job loss, market downturns, or unexpected health expenses. Carolina Guerreno stresses that a sound financial plan includes strategies for mitigating these risks, such as creating an emergency fund, purchasing insurance, or diversifying investments. Planning helps individuals weather financial storms without derailing long-term goals.

4. Maximizes Wealth Potential Investment is a crucial component of financial planning. Through careful allocation of resources and intelligent investment strategies, individuals can grow their wealth over time. Carolina Guerreno emphasizes that a financial plan provides the framework to invest in a way that aligns with your risk tolerance, time horizon, and objectives. It also considers tax-efficient strategies, ensuring that individuals keep more of what they earn.

5. Prepares for Retirement One of the most common long-term financial goals is saving for retirement. Carolina Guerreno believes financial planning enables individuals to estimate how much they will need to retire comfortably and outlines strategies for achieving that target. Starting early with a retirement plan allows for the benefit of compound interest and makes it easier to adjust for any potential shortfalls.

6. Facilitates Generational Wealth and Legacy Planning For many, long-term financial planning includes passing on wealth to the next generation or supporting charitable causes. Carolina Guerreno asserts that proper estate planning, which is part of comprehensive financial planning, ensures that your assets are distributed according to your wishes and in a tax-efficient manner. This planning can have lasting impacts on your family and the causes you care about.

Financial Planning in a Changing Economic Environment

Carolina Guerreno reminds us that the economy is constantly evolving, and financial plans must adapt accordingly. Rising interest rates, inflation, market volatility, and changes in tax policies are just a few factors that can affect financial strategies. A proactive financial plan includes regular reviews and adjustments to remain aligned with long-term goals despite external changes.

In addition, technological advancements have made financial planning more accessible than ever before. Carolina Guerreno recognizes that automated budgeting tools, robo-advisors, and financial apps enable individuals to track their progress and make informed decisions in real time. However, working with a certified financial planner or advisor remains invaluable, as they can offer personalized advice, help navigate complex financial landscapes, and provide accountability.

Conclusion

Achieving long-term financial goals requires a clear vision, thoughtful planning, and ongoing commitment. Carolina Guerreno emphasizes that financial planning empowers individuals to take control of their financial future, manage risk, and maximize wealth. With a solid financial plan in place, the road to financial success becomes clearer, more manageable, and more achievable.

For anyone seeking to secure their financial future, Carolina Guerreno believes investing in financial planning is not just a smart choice—it’s essential.

[lebomboniere06]

Eiji Akaso speaks to a "small magazine"

Summary

🔸When he was 20,21 years when was barely surviving as actor he started to read Nietzsche,him at that same age was jobless like him so he started to read his books

🔸Education was never difficult [from an early age he was told : if you study hard as a child, you will have many more choices in front of you in the future to help you find your goals,so even now as an adult he always studies even its hard now like an habit].

🔸 English was his favorite class that's why he wanted to majored in English.

🔸he first told his mother he wanted to be an actor,she said she will support him but she said : " the problem is your father isn't"

🔸As his father was an university professor he worried but his dad kindly gave him a push saying: "it's good you found what you want to do"

🔸Kuroko's basketball Director's impression of Akaso [Most of the actors I contacted wanted to show their faces, so that the director could see more of them, but Akaso was the opposite, very low-key, and he was always talking about acting, so I thought this kid was too sincere, and that's what made the director appreciate Akaso.

🔸During Cherry Maho🍒he realized communication was Important on his growth & changed, before this he was afraid to give his opinion & have discussions about the play.

🔸About Haruka:

"After we got married in the Novel we talked about what this scene we convey than we didn't when we're childhood friends.

wearing a hanger, laughing & jocking around,I clearly separated my time off & on(laughs)"

🔸From the beginning to the end Akaso responded politely

The last sentence of the interview script is also moving

"I asked a Hundred Billion stars to illuminate Akaso new path" ( referring to Takashi famous tanka in the series)

Intercepts of the interview ⬇️

"Friends and relatives say to me 'I'm watching, congratulations', and I'm happy to be called 'Takashi' when I walk on the street"

Previously, Akaso was notable for his works geared toward the younger crowd, and this time, his smooth yet gentle tone in the morning drama has skyrocketed his popularity among housewives.

In order to find out what kind of character he really is, Bunshun "small Magazine" hastily applied to him personally for an interview & collect materials, and received permission.

"I lost more auditions than I can count, and the first few years I was living on a part-time job. The first year there were two or three job opportunities, but they were all one-line roles. Even when I tried to honor my parents with my first paycheck, it was all used as living expenses ....... I remember being very upset. It really was a barely living life, not living without working meals, and only buying things on discount sale at the supermarket. Barely making ends meet."

Norihito Nakayashiki, who wrote and directed the 2016 stage plays "Kuroko's Basketball", revealed. "A lot of young actors love to act like, 'Look at me. I want to be popular', but he is the complete opposite. It's rare to see actors with such low self-promotion skills (laughs). But I was attracted to such an Akaso. I remember during rehearsals he would ask, 'How are my lines?' He was always talking about acting.

"At that time, I was not experienced enough to express my opinion, but I didn't answer yes or no immediately to what my senpais told me, Instead ,I thought about it carefully in my own mind. "

He was a sincere actor who faced acting.

"At that time, I think I was still in the dark" Where did he get the proof that he could continue as an actor?

Akaso said again.

"I haven't any confirmation yet, but what made up my mind was during the time of "Kamen Rider Build". (The super masked heroes series) lasted for a year, and the children would call me 'Banjo'. I guess the children didn't want to see a Kamen Rider in a part-time job. After that, I decided to never live on part-time jobs again"😭

*( it's hard not to love Him ,who gently guards the children's dreams 🥹🥺)

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