#change is still very tiring however
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hellscribbles · 11 months ago
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Apologies for the lack of art lately, I had several (on going) life changes back to back and that meant I had to spend every free moment rocking back and forth on the floor and muttering incoherently
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mantisgodsdomain · 2 months ago
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Anyways, to those who have been wondering what we've been doing during our impromptu Tumblr Vacation or whatever we're calling it, we've been trying to find a playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3 that is made by someone who doesn't annoy the shit out of us, and also tormenting Karlach Cliffgate (as you do)
#we speak#also sleeping. we have slept a lot. being in a school environment is exhausting.#its very hard to remember how much we generally enjoy learning when the environment itself is. that#but on the plus side our shittiest possible 40-minute 1k word essay with eight trillion loose lines we Could have connected#was apparently impressive enough that the people who were meant to be assessing it for If We Could Take The Course#as a preliminary instead just forwarded it as a formal application and it got through#we know we are better at writing and deconstructing that writing than most. however.#christ man there were like a dozen cracks in that essay reasoning and a trillion threads we left dangling#we know that directing you to see what the narrative is focusing on and nothing else is a skill we're good at#but like. this is like if we just shucked a pelt off with no processing and showed it to you. its not even scraped yet.#there are little bits of metaphorical fat and gristle all over the underside of this. you can feel them when picking it up.#we lost the plot of the original prompt halfway through to argue about anthrocentrism. it's messy work.#like its decent prose and if we polished it a bit it could probably be decent within the constraints but it's a 40 minute prompt and sloppy#we tabbed out of the test tab and started writing pokemon fanfiction instead of polishing it. and you think it's impressive?#we know we've spent like more than ten years writing and have read a lot even before that we just forget people have such low standards#...god hopefully this doesnt read as bragging. we are having the experience of like#we get out of the most physically and mentally fatiguing experience we've had for like Years after doing the Bare Minimum to not die#we have been outputting work that is sloppy and we are fully aware of it because we are too tired to put full effort into schoolwork#and we are still getting like. “oh wow this is so good youre so good at making things”#like man. we can do better than this. teacher was like “wow youd be a great script writer” we are good at dialogue but better at descriptio#and we weight. a lot of our capacity for dialogue. in our ability to have cues human people do not have. this will not work well on-screen#also that industry is one of the Many Many Industries that are super mega fucked up rn#and we do not work well with constantly changing expectations#we hope this is a fun glimpse into our current life btw we are finally on break and god. this is great. we can sleep now.
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cranberrymoons · 8 months ago
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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cherrysnax · 1 month ago
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I’ve watched myself become extremely jaded in the last. oh idk 24 years of life but I continue to drag myself out of that mindset. it’s not easy and I don’t do it alone, and I slide back sometimes but I know that people can be better, I can be better, the world can be better
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deanpinterester · 1 year ago
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hi what
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scientia-rex · 10 months ago
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A lot of younger people have no idea what aging actually looks and feels like, and the reasons behind it. That ignorance is so dangerous. If you don’t want to “be old,” you aren’t talking about a number of years. I have patients in their late 80s who could still handily beat me in a race—one couple still runs marathons together, in their late 80s—and I lost someone who was in her early 60s to COPD last year. What you want is not youth, it is health.
If you want to still be able to enjoy doing things in your 60s and 70s and 80s and even 90s, what you want to do, right now, is quit smoking, get some activity on a regular basis (a couple of walks a week is WAY better for you than nothing; increasing from 1 hour a day of cardio to 1.5 will buy you very little), and eat some plants. That’s it. No magic to it. No secret weird tricks. Don’t poison yourself, move around so your body doesn’t forget how, and eat plants.
If you have trouble moving around now because of mobility limitations, bad news: you still need to move around, not because it’s immoral not to, but because that’s still the best advice we have. I highly recommend looking up the Sit and Be Fit series; it is freely available and has exercises that can be done in a chair, which are suitable for people with limited mobility or poor balance. POTS sufferers, I’m looking at you.
If you have trouble eating plants because of dietary issues (they cause gas, etc.) or just because they’re bitter (super taster with texture issues here!), bad news. You still want to find a way to get some plants into your body on a regular basis. I know. It sucks. The only way I can do it is restaurants—they can make salads taste like food. I can also tolerate some bagged salads. On bad weeks, the OCD with contamination focus gets so bad I just can’t. However, canned beans always seem “safe,” and they taste a bit like candy, so they’re a good fallback.
If you smoke and you have tried quitting a million times and you’re just not ready to, bad news. You still need to quit. Your body needs you to try and keep trying. Your brain needs it, too. Damaging small blood vessels racks up cumulative damage over time that your body can start trying to reverse as soon as you quit. I know it’s insanely, absurdly addictive. You still need to.
You cannot rules lawyer your way past your body’s basic needs. It needs food, sleep, activity, and the absence of poison. Those are both small things and big asks. You cannot sustain a routine based on punishment, so don’t punish your body. Find ways to include these things that are enjoyable and rewarding instead. Experiment. There is no reason not to experiment—you don’t have to know instantly what’s going to work for you and what won’t, you just need to be willing to try things and make changes when things aren’t working for you.
You will still age. Your body will stop making collagen and elastin. Tissues you can see and tissues you can’t see will both sag. Cushioning tissues under your skin will get thinner. You’ll bruise more easily. Skin will tear more easily. Accumulated sun damage will start to show more and more. Joints will begin to show arthritis. Tendons and ligaments will get weaker and get injured more easily, as will muscles. Bones will lose mass and get easier to break. You’ll get tired more easily.
But you know what makes the difference between being dead, or as good as, in your 60s vs your 90s? Activity, plants, and quitting smoking. And don’t do meth. Saw a 58-year-old guy this week who is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t quit whatever stimulant he’s on. I pretended to believe it was just the cigarettes, and maybe it is, but meth and cocaine will kill you quicker. Stop poisoning yourself.
Baby steps; take it one step at a time; you don’t need to have everything figured out right now. But you do need to be working on figuring things out.
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kianamaiart · 3 months ago
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"Pretty Pretty Please I Don't Want to be a Magical Girl" Bios!
NAME: Aika (she/her) AGE: 15 Main Protagonist CV: Anairis Quiñones
BIO:
Aika is an easily excitable and energetic girl. She's generally optimistic and very friendly. She's always eager to try new things as long as it's not her fulltime job of being a magical girl.
As soon as her magical girl duties are brought into the picture, her demeanor changes. She checks out, and often looks for the quickest solution to solve the issue. No flashy transformations and special moves here. She's good with a metal baseball bat or a rocket launcher.
All Aika wants is to live a normal life, make friends and go to school. Unfortunately, like every main protagonist, trouble manages to follow her wherever she goes.
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NAME: Zira (she/they) AGE: 16 Love Interest Best Friend CV: Bennett Abara
BIO:
Zira is everything Aika wants to be. Painfully average, under the radar and a self proclaimed loser.
She's a smart girl but has a hard time applying herself. Instead of paying attention in school, and doing extracurriculars, Zira would much rather be reading her favorite magical girl manga "Moon Sailor".
After Aika forces her friendship upon them, Zira now has to tag along on all of Aika's escapades and experiences new things. Ew. However, they admire Aika deeply and admire her even more after Aika's magical secret comes to light.
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NAME: Hoshi (any/they/them) AGE: unknown Magical Sidekick CV: Christine Marie Cabanos
BIO:
Hoshi is a magical star being sent to Earth to find the chosen one. They made a great choice with Aika, as she's amazing at her job. The only issue is she hates it and is often trying to dodge responsibilities (and Hoshi).
When Aika first started, and still had her heart in it, Hoshi was definitely more neurotic and acted as your typical mentor/magical sidekick. But over time, they gave up on trying to tell Aika what to do and also became a little more apathetic. Aika was getting the job done at least, so what's the problem?
Hoshi still has to make sure Aika doesn't completely give up on being the Star Guardian: Guardian of the Stars, which Aika finds annoying.
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NAME: Eclipse (he/him) AGE: 15 Minor Antagonist CV: Aleks Le
BIO:Eclipse is a flamboyant and theatrical individual whose showmanship is out of this world. He refers to himself as
"Eclipse: Servant of Darkness".
He was a D-list antagonist that Aika and her team would fight on occasion. Mostly just saving citizens from him being a nuisance. Eclipse has deluded himself into thinking that he's Aika's rival, main antagonist and love interest. Their love is simply forbidden as he's chosen the path of darkness and her, the light.
After Aika ran away, he managed to find her again. However this time he actually has powers??? Where did those come from? It's as if he's made a deal with darkness itself.
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NAME: Lady DeVoid (she/her) AGE: Old Main Antagonist/Big Bad CV: Shara Kirby
BIO: Lady DeVoid is darkness itself. She's a mysterious being with an incomprehensible amount of power. Power that is currently weakened and that she actually has no idea how to use. She can't seem to remember for some reason...
All she knows is that a long time ago she was defeated and banished by a Star Guardian and that she now wants revenge. The only power she has at her disposal is creating particles of darkness that she can use to possess animate or inanimate objects to create monsters. She prefers others do her dirty work.
She enlists the help of Eclipse to spread these particles with the hopes that it'll eventually destroy the Star Guardian.
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NAME: Miss (she/her) AGE: 39 Side Character CV: Michele Knotz
BIO:
Miss is Aika and Zira's very tired teacher. Looking at her, you might assume she hates her job, but it's quite the opposite. She pours everything into her work and into her students, leaving very little time for her personal life.
She's recently started trying to get it together (after her ex-wife left her) but is still struggling to find that work-life balance.
Prior to Aika enrolling, Miss was Zira's only friend at school and, though she'd never admit it, Zira's probably the closest thing she has to a friend also (oof). She's subsequently become a secret Moon Sailor fan too.
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retiredteabag · 5 months ago
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winter weight
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synopsis: toji has gained some weight this winter - it seems you don’t mind
this is part two -> read about summer!toji here
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
It's said that "happy weight" is a very real thing in healthy relationships. Toji had always prided himself on being a big man, he worked out frequently and ate like a beast. But his physique has mostly remained the same impressive form. This winter, however, seemed to have changed that for the very first time.
Toji had noticed these past few days that he'd seemed to have put on a couple of pounds. His shirts were tighter now than they used to be, some of his sleeves seemed to almost cut off circulation, and with a quick feel of his stomach, it was clear that his body was... softening up.
He was not "insecure" per say, just- not in love with his newly added weight. He found himself pulling at the flesh of his stomach, not accustomed to the added fat and he barely walked around the house shirtless as of late.
You'd comment on this newfound modesty of his and he'd play it off as if he had been cold, but you know that your man couldn’t get cold, even in this winter weather.
One afternoon as you both lounged on the couch, you saw him pulling at the front of his T-shirt, flowing it out and away from his body. He didn't seem to be doing it intentionally, eyes focused on the television, but you certainly noticed.
That night he even went to bed with a shirt on which might just have been the very first time he's ever done that in his life.
You went to bed with this notion on your mind. The thing was... the man was totally irresistible to you, so you couldn't quite understand if he was suddenly worrying about his figure.
Toji always awoke before you did in the mornings. When you heard him in the bathroom, brushing his teeth, you stumbled out of bed and came up behind him, wrapping your arms around his form.
Toji is a big guy, he always has been. Only now you notice, when holding the man’s torso, your two arms barely reach around to the mans abs now…
You hum as you feel him up, and he doesn't push you away. Once upon a time you would have tried to tickle his sides, but having been around Toji for awhile now, you know he's not the ticklish type. Even so, your cold hands dance under his shirt and grope at him.
"Too early, ya know." You murmur into his broad back. "Won'tcha come back to bed."
"Get yer paws off me" he jitters, "you're freezing." He turns around to look at you now, facing downwards to meet your tired pout.
"Come warm up with me then." You finish speaking. Smooshing your cheeks into his back muscles and opening your mouth to press up against him and breathe a lung full of hot air through his shirt. While the warmth meets his spine you roll your hands back to his pudgy tummy, his happy trail…
"Alright, alright." He grabs the back of your neck and walks you back to bed. When you're just about within throwing distance, he grabs you by the sides of your chest and tosses you onto the mattress.
In the following moments you curl yourself upon him, your body splayed above his. Giggling, you can't help your wandering hands. He's so warm, you know?
He grabs at your wrist though, "Enough, don't fondle me." His eyes are teasing but you wonder if he's starting to feel unhappy with his body.
"Can't help it, you’re so handsome, ya' know?"
You can feel his muscles tense below you at the confession. He runs a hand through his hair and avoids your eyes. "Thats a bad argument."
You just hum and squish your arms under his back, molding your body to his.
Suddenly he speaks up, "I wouldn't work out as much if I knew you still liked me all fluffy". You hear an annoyed tint in his tone and move up to look at him.
"I like you in all your forms, Toji." And you mean it.
"Ugh." He rolls his eyes at your words and pulls your hands away.
"Don't move me, you're so hot." You tug your wrists in his grasp.
His eyebrows raise
He holds your gaze for a long while, and lifting a brow he slowly speaks, "Get another blanket then."
You stare at him, smiling. "No." You smoosh your face to his chest, "I wanna crawl under your skin... and eat your flesh..."
Toji knew what was coming, he gently pressed on your forehead before you could latch your jaw around his bicep.
"Don't. Even. Think about it." He holds in a giant grin.
"You're too chewable. C'mon..... comeoneeeee." You smirk at him, his palm still flush to your skull.
There's a pause, and just as you think he's gonna give in, he maintains pressure, running his hands down your neck, onto your waist and traps your body under his by rolling on top of you. There are wails of descent from your crushed form beneath him, but he holds you there, wrists in his grasp.
"Lemme go Toji." You tug at your wrists.
"Thought you wanted me heating you up." He huffs into your neck.
"Yeah, but I deserve the privilege of caressing a little more." You flex your hands again.
"You gonna behave?" his fingers run over your palms.
"Not a chance."
He grins, releasing you. Quick as lightning, your hands are up and under his shirt, running over his back. He's groaning into the mattress, something about icy hands, but he's sporting a big grin, leaning down to take a tiny bite of your shoulder.
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say-duhnelle · 2 years ago
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Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck youuuuuuuu
Hello, Tumblr. 
If you joined us before November 2022 and predominantly post on web, you will be familiar with the two post editors—the legacy editor and the “new” web editor (formerly known as the “Beta editor”).
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Beginning May 15, we’ll gradually be working to remove the legacy editor as an option for creating new posts. New posts created on web will be created in the new web editor. We hope to complete this change by July 15. 
This change only affects accounts created before November 2022. Newer accounts already default to the new web editor.
This will not affect posting on the apps because we switched to this new editor on the apps about four years ago. If you use the apps, you’ve been using the new editor all this time!
This will not affect what you can include in a post, only how you get there: You can still include all the different types of media in a post, only now, you’ll do that via the new web editor’s content blocks instead of selecting a post type from the post type bar at the top of your dash. So, if you’re halfway through a text post, and you decide that what this post really needs is your pet reptile, then click on the little red image icon in the post editor, select an image, and voilà. Lizard boy steals our hearts.
If you still prefer to post on web using the legacy editor, please keep reading because the rest of this post is for you.
How can you prepare for this change?
Once we have completed this update, you won’t be able to create posts using the legacy editor. You will be able to edit posts made using the legacy editor, at least for now. 
Start using the new web editor ahead of the switch. This will help you help us troubleshoot any issues you might encounter. It’ll also mean you’ll already know the ropes before the switch is final. 
Talk to us. Send us feedback. Especially if you’re switching from legacy to the new web editor. We want to hear about your experience: Are there any specific workflows or features in legacy that you want to see in the new editor?      
If you use a theme, make sure to check whether it supports posts made using the new web editor, and update it if that’s not the case. 
For those of you trimming reblogs: @rpschtuff has created an incredibly detailed master post that gets into the nitty gritty of that practice in the new web editor.
XKitters: XKit Rewritten was explicitly designed with the new web experience in mind. This means that you will need to use XKit Rewritten when creating posts in the new web editor.
That’s all for now. Remember, you can always get in touch with us. If it’s regarding the new web editor, then Support is the place for you. If it’s about something else, @wip is your guy.
#The things I dislike about the beta editor are things y'all have already refused to change about it#no matter how much feedback I send it's not going to get me unlimited inline images#or the option to edit in raw HTML when I want a little more control over the format#or the FUCKING readmore to be a button I can choose inline rather than something I have to look up the magic fucking code to type in...#... every GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING TIME I need to FUCKING use it#I can't see my tags in full after I add them to spell check them#Nor can I drag them around in the order - if the first one is wrong I have to delete them ALL and retype#there is even an arbitrary limit on the number of text blocks you're allowed to have in a beta editor post#and while it's not something which typically gets in the way for the kind of posts I make#if you write very long posts like fanfiction or posts with a lot of carriage returns like poetry it's coming for your ass#Tumblr staff however does not give a fuck about limiting the functionality of the website as long as it makes their jobs easier#they don't give a fuck about permabanning someone from the website who did nothing against TOS#just insulted one of them#as long as it makes their jobs easier#they're awful petty people and every ''update'' they make makes me more and more tired#I'm only still here because all my friends are#also#I wonder what random shit this update is gonna break. Stupid things go wrong around here all the time as it is - e.g. image size glitch#which is STILL AFFECTING ME btw#I wonder how many fucking load bearing coconuts there are in the legacy editor code and what exactly removing them is going to ruin#not to mention the things we KNOW will eventually break like your ability to edit posts on your own fucking blog if they're old#because who cares about backwards compatibility right? no one from 2012 could possibly still be using this website#and they certainly couldn't ever discover errors in their old posts or want to update them because their beliefs or opinions have changed#nobody cool experiences ''personal growth'' over the course of a decade that's for suckers#<- actual gymternet users opinion tbh#anyway I'm done ranting for the moment but fuck you and fuck this.
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DPXDC prompt: Spiritual Siblings
Bruce: My assassin kid can't be that normal!
Damian: Well, I’m completely emotionally stable by Amity Park standards. The problem is with you. Obviously.
~~~~~
Damian had long found peace and home in Amity, so he did not worry that the new family and Gotham might not accept him.
Sure, Al Ghul had lived without any contact with his biological father all these years but he could safely say that he had a happy childhood. First years were hard and he was raised more as a weapon than a human being. Even so, after that a ghost who decided to become his brother appeared and everything changed.
Damian still does not know what Ra's owes Phantom but Danny has a right to take him, without prior notification, to live with Fentons, to visit Aunt Alicia at her farm, and to make Vlad’s weekends much less calm and boring. Danny jokes that he just steals him as a hostage when Al Ghul does not pay taxes for using Lazarus Pits. Whatever the reason, he already has a family that loves him.
However, he still wanted to make an effort to fit in this one too. The model of conduct certainly was his older brother. No, not the oldest, of course. To be honest Dan wasn’t the kind of a man that could charm you from the first minute. But Danny, in Damian’s experience, had a calming effect on people. So he tried to act like him.
And, yeah, for lack of experience, he was more fun!Danny at home and super!Danny on patrol but he also really tried not to get any of his own assassin personality in his new-self and was tired of it. He couldn’t get a 100% match. Fine. Still doesn’t look like anyone in this house really likes him, so whatever.
Damian understood why Bruce didn't like his company. Jazz had long ago explained to him the importance of voluntary consent. His mother did a terrible thing. Al Ghul was not a child and therefore he was ready to admit it. However, he also understood that children were not responsible for the actions of their parents.
As a biosocial being, he wanted to be more than just a painful reminder of what had happened to Bruce. Wayne's ignoring of his existence was rude. But Damian wouldn't force this man to spend time with him just because he was legally obligated to take care of his well-being. He wasn't going to prove anything to Batman, and he definitely didn't need his attention. The care of his real family is enough.
But Damian really tried to get along with new potential siblings. He even shared Sam's and Danny’s special jokes with some of adopted kids 'cause he didn’t want them to feel like he put himself above them. He wasn't good at showing emotions but he was as open as the assassin could afford to be to strangers.
But they all obviously expected something from him. And it reminded him of the League in an unpleasant way. It was easier with Fentons. Almost everyone in Amity Park was saying what they thought, and Damian didn’t have to waste time decoding potential conspiracies.
Damian missed movie marathon nights with Sam, Tucker, and Danny. And he hoped Dani had time to bother Vlad in his absence.
It was so weird here. When Danny and Valerie were fighting, they would gather at the dinner table anyway. When Damian wanted to have combat training with Drake here, he was forced to stay in his room. A very strange punishment. And undeserved one too.
Al Ghul felt quite calm and fine sitting at his easel and painting the people he left behind. An unusual subject for his paintings. But, Ancients, he missed Amity.
He missed Jack's bone breaking hugs, Maddie's Ecto-Contaminated food, arguments of Sam and Tucker, cozy art class with Mr. Baxter and even Vlad's done look. He missed Danny telling him about the stars. He also missed sword practice with Dan's boyfriend Fright Knight and he missed Dan's stories about his other youth. He missed literary evenings with Mr. Lancer, Clockwork and Ghost Writer. He even missed the hours-long Jazz lectures. He missed the dance of death and life. He missed being looked at without expecting anything from him. He missed the crowd. In the league, he was never at one with himself and in Amity he was always surrounded by people who were not afraid of his fate as the heir to the said League. This Manor was full of people, but for the first time in his life he felt lonely. Damian has to admit that he felt left behind. Of course, he understood that people needed time to build relationships, but he could have sworn that even he didn't need that much time to connect with Fentons. Maybe this is one of the tricks of the Clockwork? Then this one is not funny at all.
~~~~~Phone call~~~~ Damian: Mom, I want to go home. Maddie: I'm so sorry to hear that, sweetheart. What happened? Damian: Just…Nobody likes me. Why was I sent here? I'm not weak. And my brothers are quite capable of protecting me from Raas. I don't need Batman for this. Maddie: We'll figure it out, champ. Moms love you, remember? I'll talk to Talia, okay? Your brothers and sisters are already on edge and ready to steal you right during the patrol. Damian: It would be nice, but it would put a bat on their tails. So lock them in thermoses if they bother you too much. Maddie: But that won't stop Jazz. Damian: I missed the part where that's my problem. Maddie: Well, it will be your problem if she comes to your doorstep with your childhood photos and moralizing.
~~~~~~~~
It's his birthday. And he was always excited about it. But now, looking at the pile of gifts, he realizes that these people don't know him at all.
And this is the family of the best detective in the world? Maybe yes, but none of them bothered to really find info about him or ask him about his likes. Damian's a stranger here, and that's obvious.
The lunch container, which he will obviously give to the Boxing Lunch when he's in the right time interval, tennis rackets that Youngblood might like, The Graveyard Book…
Valerie had already read it to him and Dani before it was published. Thanks to Clockwork for his little miracles. The book reminded him of home.
Obviously this one is from Jason. And well, Damian doesn't think it was a pun on his life in Amity, more like Hood's inside joke about death but Dami will definitely leave this thing in the room at the Manor and maybe take it with him to the GZ or Amity Park.
~~~~~~~
When they gather at the festive table, Damian realizes that he has to make some kind of speech. He tries to be as brief as possible in his report.
Damian: Todd, your gift is appreciated. And I found a potential use for items that were given by others, Bruce.
Damian never called Batman his father. With Maddie and Talia, calling both moms wasn't weird, especially when Jazz explained to his biological mom that he wasn't trying to replace her. But with Wayne, it was different. Both women took care of him, they deserved this title. Wayne provided for his needs, but his core heart didn't feel like they were close. Surely there's nothing wrong if they're just Bruce and Damian? Obviously, they both don't enjoy each other's company.
Jason: So, do you like books, little demon? Damian: Sometimes reading is quite relaxing, I should point out. I'm not indifferent to Stephen King and Lovecraft. Jason: Personal recommendations? Damian: Cujo is one of my favorites. Jason: Not a common opinion, huh. Damian: It reminds me of my family. Damian tries to smile like Danny does, but Jason's twitching eye clearly indicates that he screwed it up.
~~~~Dick and Jason synchronously drop their forks as an excuse for a conference under the table.~~~~ Dick*whispers*: How's the situation? Jason*whispers back*: If the boy asks for a dog, don't be fooled. He will be happy to dance on our graves.
~~~~Cass knocks over their heads, urging them to return to their seats.~~~~
Damian: So how good you are at fading and sliding,Todd? Jason: Why did you ask? I can't, of course. Damian: Because you're dead. It seemed to me that this was a completely understandable interest. Jason: Wow, what a jerk. Damian: I wonder why your own incompetence makes me a jerk? Even my sister could do this when she wasn't dead for even a month.
Jason, for some reason, looks awkward, although he has never been embarrassed before by the idea that a girl could be stronger than him.
Jason: Your sister? How old was she when... So it's all about age. Damian rolls his eyes.
Damian: We're the same age. It seems like it was four or five years ago. To be honest, I don't remember. I wasn't around then. I'll ask Danielle the next time I go to the cemetery to visit her. Dick: I'm so sorry, Dami. Where is she buried? We can take you. Damian: There's no need. She has no grave, as there was nothing to bury. Bruce sighs loudly and covers his eyes with his hands. Damian: It's just easier to contact the afterlife in places like this, you now? Duke: We are very sorry, dude. Damian: Don't be. People come and go, and then come back if they haven't finished annoying you. There's no point in regretting the past. Her creation was not the most ethical thing but everything is going as it should. At least that's what Grandpa says. Considering that the old man is older than time, I prefer to believe him. No one plays with fate without his permission unless they want to get hit by the clock. Tim now looks like he's going to throw up and Damian hurries to move his plate closer to him. Jason: Yes, Bruce, this is definitely your son. Damian: Did I say something wrong? Dick smiles faintly at him but still doesn't find anything to say. Damian shrugs and goes back to eating asparagus. People outside of Amity are so weird.
Signal looks at Damian suspiciously as he carefully rearranges the plate of soy sausages away from himself. Did he take him for an idiot? Everyone knows that even vegetarian sausage bite and fight no worse than those with meat when they come back to life. It's not Damian's fault that he doesn't have an ectoblast with him and wants to have extra distance from the opponent.
~~~At the same time, in the walls of Wayne Manor~~~ Dani: The operation codenamed "Get Haunted Idiot" is declared open. Danny and Dan *salute*.
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~~~Several Days Later~~~
Damian: So, this is Dan. Danny says we keep him as a GIW repeller. Dick: And Danny and Dan are.. Jazz: His brothers. I'm Jazz by the way. Elle and I are his sisters. Damian: I feat the criteria to participate in their name cult, so they took me. Dan, Danny, Dani and Dami. Dan *ruffles Damian's hair* : I prefer to call this biting threat Damn, to be honest. Dami: Shut up, DaNtE, they almost wrote Dark in your passport, you idiot. I can't believe I thought I missed you. Danny: Wow. Rude. Your grandpa would be disappointed. Great job, lil one.
~~~Several years later~~~
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lass-us-slay · 7 months ago
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So I read a prompt about how Wonder Woman found Danny in a trash can (don’t remember which one) and I was bored.
So I took that lil info and made it into an AU.
So basically, Danny get yeeted into this unknown universe and has no where to live. And no where to live means no money. No money means no food. No food means Danny can’t keep his human half sustained.
So what does he do?
Decides to not change into a human and live in a trash can.
Yes you heard that right, live in a trash can.
Because he’s a ghost, he doesn’t have to worry about the germs and stuff. But that doesn’t mean he lives in just any trash can! He lives in a clean one ☝️
AND he also decorated it with his name so other people know it’s his!
And so Danny has been here for a while now and realizes
Holy shit there’s hero’s here- you know what, why doesn’t he have hero’s back home?!
And being minorly annoyed jealous (but he’s never admitting that)he thought:
Well since there’s hero’s here already, guess I’m not needed.
.
.
.
Good. I’m tired af
And so Danny caries on his life, being content with his trash can and scaring whoever comes into his alley. It’s fun. Sure he sometimes needs to ugh overshadow people to feed his human side, but other than that.
It’s going great.
But Danny doesn’t realize that with Amity gone (or smth, you choose) which was his haunt, he slowly makes the trash can into his new haunt.
And slowly but surely, Danny’s beloved haunt trash can starts to become other worldly kinda.
Yk because of the ectoplasm.
So now Danny’s lovely trash can haunt has more space inside and- Hey Danny can actually sleep in it better!! And he got some company too!
In the form of blob ghosts.
Two actually.
They keep his trash can clean and help purifying some corrupted ectoplasm that he finds. Because for some reason this universe’s ectoplasm seems half way artificial and tastes a bit weird. Which is where the blob ghosts help out in.
Everything was great.
Danny was loving the trash can life style.
He has two blob ghosts friends. Which he named Sam and Tucker, and yea they couldn’t talk but that was fine.
He wasn’t lonely, he wasn’t. He had two very much talking friends like Sam and Tucker.
However one day two weirdly dressed people- oh they were hero’s.
Well anyway they found him, one woman stripper and one furry guy.
But it was on accident! He was just peaking out of his beloved haunt trash can, and they spotted him.
He stared, they stared back.
Then the woman stripper asked him questions, even when he said:
“Don’t mind me, have a nice day!”
But they just kept bother him and giving him weird looks and glances.
Which- rude.
Didn’t they see his mark on his haunt trash can? Obviously it means it’s his home, so they shouldn’t be bothering him still. He’s safe as can be.
Plus.
It’s not like he’s looking at them in suspicion and weirdness, I mean look at them! What kinda cheep knock off vampire fury mix and American stripper style clothing are those!
They should mind their own business!
———
Just a silly lil drawing of this lmao, don’t mind me.
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sluttylittlewaistenthusiast · 8 months ago
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╰┈➤ 18+ none of these stories belong to me! this is a masterlist of all the fanfics i’ve read and reblogged! just thought it would be nice to have them all in one spot! (if your fic is on here and you wish not to be, please let me know!) some will have summaries if provided <3
╰┈➤ a/n: 2022 me would skin me alive if she ever found out im being vocal abt liking eddie munson
ᡣ𐭩 how you can help palestine . fic recs m.list
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@lokis-army-77
⭒ Cozy
Waking up the day after Eddie has fucked your brains out you have a little more fun.
⭒ Private Viewing
What happens when your favorite camboy is in your class? You should stop watching his content... or should you? What happens when you are eventually paired together for a project? Everything will be just fine, won't it?
@eddiemunsons-missingnipple
⭒ Next Caller
Eddie hosts a late night radio show for his college campus, where he discusses various different topics. He's mostly known for his DnD and sex talk segments. You've been a long-time listener who works up the courage to finally call in for some help.
⭒ You Look Lonely
Eddie finally had it all, success, money, and fame. There was still one tiny problem he had.
@ceriseheaven
⭒ Cockwarming with older!Eddie (blurb)
@natti-ice
⭒ “Let me taste you” (blurb)
⭒ "B-baby please, I'm gonna-" (blurb)
@msgexymunson
⭒ Shotgun
You're on a camping trip with your two friends, and the scariest guy from school: Eddie Munson. A few beers and some weed change the way you look at him however. Maybe he's not so scary after all. Cocky, oh yes, but not scary. Especially the way your legs start to squeeze together at the sight of him. But, does he like you, or is this some cruel game to play on the innocent band geek? 
⭒ Benefits
Your best friend Eddie starts to look very appealing to you, but if you suggest a dynamic change, will he go for it?
⭒ Soft Touches
you and your dealer Eddie get a little closer than anticipated.
⭒ The Ink Shop
Desperate for a job, you answer an advertisement not knowing it's a tattoo shop. It's not particularly difficult work, except for one thing: having to deal with Eddie Munson.  
@eddiethefreakkmunson
⭒ Not So Accidental Invitations
Tired of ignoring your ever growing attraction to your roommate Eddie you "accidentally" send him a partial nude, his reaction is everything you had hoped it would be and more...
@bimbobaggins69
⭒ Love in the Locker Room
you go into the boys locker room with a plan to steal the polaroids your now ex boyfriend took of you to show off to his friends, but the last thing you suspected was to be met with Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson and his very big friend.
@luveline
⭒ Topaz, Lime, Ruby Red
Eddie has a staring problem that you barely notice, though you share an aching, awful crush. One of you has to bend first, and it’s not who you’d expect.
⭒ Is It Getting Too Much?
you finally work up the courage to kiss Eddie for the first time and he can’t cope (even if he claims he can).
⭒ If It Barks
You don’t mean to make an enemy of Eddie Munson — he’s handsome and talented, but he’s the biggest jerk you’ve ever met. Eddie thinks you’re infuriatingly pretty, emphasis on the infuriating.
part one | part two | part three | part four |
⭒ Was That So Hard?
Your best friend Eddie tries to explain what a hickey feels like and finds he doesn't have the words. He could show you, though, if you want?
⭒ Dark Matter
You ask your best friend Eddie to give you your first kiss. Eddie's not really in the habit of saying no to you.
⭒ Something Extra
You're having trouble sleeping and pot seems like the only solution. Good thing your dealer, Eddie Munson, knows of another method that he's willing to to teach you. You get more than you bargained for when he tells you what he gets off to every night - you.
@usedtobecooler
⭒ Desperate!Eddie (blurb)
⭒ eddie "monstercock" munson
eddie ‘monstercock’ munson, who is painfully unaware of the sheer size of his dick.
@munson-blurbs
⭒ Dark and Stormy
A missing key and a terrible storm leaves you and Eddie stranded in the back of his van. What ever shall you do to pass the time?
@eiightysixbaby
⭒ Take A Dip?
eddie wants to get you in the water with him while you're alone at the community pool. he ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for.
@galaxy-siren
⭒ Biggest Fan
@lonelysatellites
⭒ Safe Hands
Sex has never been a pleasant experience for you. Selfish partners, anxiety, and pain have all ruined something that you should enjoy. You’re convinced there’s something wrong with you, but Eddie is determined to prove otherwise.
@eddiernunson
⭒ I Can Do It With A Broken Heart
You and Eddie have both had crap luck on dates lately, nothing that can't be fixed with a strawberry milkshake. However, he gets asked out on a date and it goes well...until it turns your life on its head and he forgets how to pick up the phone. You don't even care that he's dating someone else you just want your best friend back.
⭒ The Splash of Rain on the Roof
you're best friends with Eddie Munson after moving to Hawkins, the new girl who ditches the cheerleaders for the Freaks. A year later, you've fallen head over heels for him, and you're convinced there's no way he has any interest in you. It finally seems confirmed when you find out (more or less) that he's into a fucking cheerleader. Your heart breaks.
@bbyhellfire
⭒ missionary with eddie (drabble)
eddie didn't care for missionary until he meets you
@oneforthemunny
⭒ Soft!Eddie (blurb)
@kiwi-bitchez
⭒ The Girlfriend Experience
Eddie doesn’t think he’s cut out for dating. Self-resigned to a life of one and done hookups, you’re determined to make him see that he has the capacity to be a worthy companion… for when the right girl comes around.
@/gaybybirth on ao3
⭒ Double Feature
When you're forced to go to a double feature showing of the Halloween movies with your brother and his friends, you find yourself, like usual, interacting with Eddie Munson. But it doesn't take long for the platonic line to be blurred and things to heat up.
⭒ Show Me
You ask Eddie to show you what you've been missing out on after he discovers your boyfriend never went down on you.
@eds6ngel
⭒ Romantic!Eddie blurb
@gxtitobxby
⭒ The Princess and the Freak | Part 2
“I can’t help but dream of his head between my thighs, how his hair would feel against my—”
@/mediocredreams on ao3
⭒ Extra Credit
Your professor offers you a very personal in-home tutoring session.
@/ghostproofbaby on ao3
⭒ Twenty Four Hours
in which eddie munson and you absolutely hate each other's guts. what happens when your friends make a bet that you can't spend more than twenty four hours consecutively together?
(Y'ALL MUST READ IT ISTG ITS SO GOOD)
@/decembersfinest on ao3
⭒ Living After Midnight
Being a perpetual people-pleaser meant that you were constantly putting others before yourself--particularly your parents and the eccentric guests who stayed at their motel. But when a surly and mysterious musician checked in indefinitely, he flipped your whole world on its head.
@littlexdeaths
⭒ Band Practice
when band practice doesn’t go as planned…
@eddiexmunsonlover
⭒ One Step Away From You
You move back to Hawkins after 3 years away to finish out your senior year. Can you salvage the friendship you once had with your ex best friend, Eddie? Will you be able to push down your deeper feelings for him, or will it all come bubbling out in disaster?
@/nerdsarehot on ao3
⭒ A Kiss to Remember
⭒ Flustered
@/GreyPetticoats on ao3
⭒ Wing Man
Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you’ll wingman for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.
@eddiesghxst
⭒ Riding Eddie drabble
@eddiemunchem
⭒ that puppy dog typa love
eddie is fiercely loyal, doting, and affectionate — when he’s enamored, you’re everything; his whole world. so just don’t mind the fact that he clings to you like a sloth to a tree, yeah?
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koolades-world · 1 month ago
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there was never a boring moment with the brothers, and roadtrips were arguably the most interesting.
to start, the car was barely large enough for all of you. the back row technically only had two seats, but you crammed and made it work. however, that was only the beginning of your problems.
you might have been able to (barely) for the entire family in the car, but that left little to no space for bags. you, levi, lucifer, and beel essential played a huge game of tetris, slotting in luggage where you could, and as much as you could. some of the luggage did have to go on the roof, but it was a necessary sacrifice.
the next issue that always rose inevitably was the seating arrangements.
lucifer and mammon were the only two who drove. you could, but were usually needed to help break up bickering, even if mammon was supposed to be busy with driving.
something that didn't change, regardless of the driver, was the levi was happy sitting in the back row. he had his own set up, no matter where in the row he was. belphie was also happy in the very back, as long as he had his cow spot pillow and blanket. beel also always sat in the middle row, because he needed the space.
when lucifer drove, while he'd prefer to have you on the passengers side, it usually went to asmo. he and mammon were the two biggest instigators, and mammon was more likely to cause issues up front. asmo was actually helpful, and helped lucifer with whatever he needed. this left satan, you, and mammon. of course, everyone wanted you to sit next to them. because of this, the three of you rotated where you sat. when mammon got too rambunctious with asmo, he'd be banished to the back row. when satan got too worked up with being in the same car as lucifer for too long, he went to the back to unwind. and when you were tired, you curled up with belphie in the back.
when mammon drove, asmo couldn't sit up front, so lucifer would instead. this left asmo, satan, and you to rotate through the car, so you did so in a similar way when lucifer drove.
whoever sat on the passengers side had to help with navigating, and collecting the consensus from the rest of the car for breaks and food. it was a job both lucifer and asmo excelled at for very different reasons. stops didn't happen often when lucifer drove, but mammon seemed willing to stop every half hour if nobody stopped him.
depending on where you sat in the car, what you'd spend your time doing varied. if you were in the back row, you were usually slumped against belphie, fast asleep. somehow, he made it comfortable. if you happened to be awake, levi would be telling you all about what he happened to be playing. if you were in the middle row, you were welcome to help yourself to whatever beel was munching on. if asmo was next to you, the two of you spent most of your time messing around with filters. there were hundreds, and some were better than others, so you always ended up with at least a couple silly photos to help you remember the trip by. if you were next to satan, you were guaranteed a quiet seat mate. the only thing he wanted was to hold your hand while he silently read <3. if you were next to mammon, the complete opposite was true. he was constantly flapping his gums, whether than be arguing with one of his brothers, or rambling to you about his last ear modeling gig. either way though, you still enjoyed his comforting presence. his voice could never become grating to you. if, for whatever reason, you happened to find yourself in the passengers seat, you were treated like the passenger princess you deserved to be. you got to control the music, and you were always treated to whatever amenities you wanted.
however chaotic the trip might be, you always enjoyed it. part of the journey was the road you took to get there, not just the final destination. the brothers probably would’ve ripped each other apart without you in the car anyways. what was a family vacation without the newest member?
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soleilapproves · 3 months ago
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You suspect that Simon might have a crush on you (much to your happiness). So you decide to harmlessly manipulate him into admitting it by asking him to set you up with one of his friends.
Note: fem!reader
main masterlist
r/advice
u/throwaway123:
How do I (F) subtly find out if my friend (M33) likes me?
Replies:
u/sudsysoap: there’s no need to be subtle. ask him to sleep with you lmao [+50, -10]
u/pricetag: agree with u/sudsysoap, men will sleep with anything as long as it has a hole [+30, -20]
u/log1cal: ask him to set you up with his friends. I did that and now we have 2 kids and a third one on the way. That prank will work wonders [+100, -7]
You had a feeling that Simon liked you. It felt obvious. He would walk by the street on the sidewalk to protect you, brought you deadbolts for your mangy apartment that you only live in for the cheap rent, would buy you groceries when you were too tired to leave your bed, and of course, would be very patient with you when you’d be feeling irritated.
Okay, maybe, he just treated you like how a best friend should but that still wouldn’t explain why he’d come to your apartment, in your crime ridden neighborhood and cuddle with you right after deployment. Not even bothering to shower before laying himself down on you like a starfish.
“I just want to feel warm,” was his answer whenever you’d ask him why he did so.
You never complained though. Instead, you relished the feeling of his heavy and exhausted body against yours. Enjoying the almost territorial hold he had on you. Like most friendships, it was a symbiotic relationship.
You both never kept much from each other. Obviously there were many aspects of his job that you couldn’t ask about and you respected that.
However, you both had hidden feelings and neither of you wanted to put your cards on the table out of the fear of rejection.
You watched as the man scarfed down his Sunday breakfast- a sort of inside tradition where you’d both go to a cafe near your apartment and scarf down food. It always happened on the first Sunday after his return from deployment.
The words from that one Reddit comment lingered in your mind.
He felt your eyes on him from your end of the booth and placed his fork down, still in his grasp. “Somethin’ on my face?” his gruff voice asked. 
“No, I’m just wondering if they even fed you at all.”
He let out a sarcastic ‘ha’ and went back to eating. You were getting antsy to the point where you began to pick at your hash brown with your fork, the crisp golden patty crumbling with every poke.
You wanted to try the trick so bad.
But what if he doesn’t like you like that? What if he does end up setting you up with a man you aren’t interested in because you decided to be sly for a moment?
Fuck it. At least this would be the least explicit way.
“I’m so tired of being single,” you huffed as you leaned back into the leather cushioned booth. Simon did not give any sort of reaction. Instead he directed his attention to his coffee as he mixed it with some zero calorie sweetener.
“All the guys in this city are so weird. I’ve done everything to get a boyfriend,” you continued to complain. Simon sipped his beverage and looked through the menu again (probably for a second helping of sausages).
Still no reaction. Sometimes you wondered how you even became friends with him.
“Wait, I know.”
His demeanor changed as his blue eyes flit to your figure. “You should set me up with one of your military friends,” you said as you smiled like a scientist who had just made a great discovery in their field.
Simon beckoned you over with his hand. Confused, you slid towards his end of the booth. “What?”
He lightly knocked on the top of your head like it was a door. “Thank God,” he muttered out.
“What was that for?” You replaced his hand with yours on your head, checking to see if he was trying to remove any lint.
“Tryin’ to check if your skull was hollow.”
“Fuck you, Simon. All I did was ask for a favor.”
The man folded his arms, biceps begging to be let out of the confinement of his sleeves. Your heart couldn’t help but beat a little faster at the sight.
“Is it because I’m not pretty?”
“Where’d that even come from? I-“
“So you agree that I’m not pretty,” you imposed before huffing and turning away from him.
“Oh my—fuck, just listen to me.”
You open your mouth to say more but you decide to give your friend a break.
He cleared his throat and turned your shoulders towards him. Your skin burned when his calloused palms situated themselves on you. “First of all, you’re not ugly. You’re basically out of their league.” You never understood why he couldn’t just compliment you like a normal person.
“Second, you deserve someone who will actually give you all their time. Something my military friends can’t do. You’re not going to be a priority.”
You felt like shrinking in your seat. His reasoning was ambiguous. You couldn’t tell if he was denying your request because he didn’t want your heart broken or because he actually liked you.
“Oh, okay.” You looked away from him in embarrassment. So much for miracles.
“Besides—“
He then went on to replace the deconstructed hash brown on your plate with his non battered one.
“—you might find someone if you look hard enough.”
Your head perked up. Was the ever so candid Simon Riley hinting at something?
“What do you mean?”
“Go out with me.” No beating around the bush anymore.
“Very funny, Simon.”
“I’m not good at making jokes. I like you.”
Oh.
OH.
You made a mental note to thank that one Reddit comment later. Trying your best not to smile, you let out a deep a breath before speaking. “Truth be told, I like you too. I don’t just let any man barge into my house and lay with me.”
“You’d better not,” Simon said as he pulled you into his side and then pushed your head close to his with his hand behind your neck.
“Been waitin’ for you to admit that,” he said before leaving a deep kiss on your mouth.
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crimsoncandy04 · 17 days ago
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I woke up feeling ✨frisky✨ today.
So anyways here's how I think it would go down in the scenario where you're dating The Wanderer but he's unfortunately NOT very touchy and rather distant at times.
Yet you can't help but feel so horny for him despite your desire to not push his boundaries. And he eventually figures this out.
💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍💙🤍
Wanderer was a good boyfriend. He really was.
He took you on little dates often. Sometimes to a cafe where he'd often make little remarks about your sweet tooth but would let you order an entire table of desserts if that's what you wanted (he never ate anything himself but would often just get coffee or tea or even strong liquor while he watched you eat), other times you two would go on walks or have little nights in together with lots of playful banter and hobby indulging.
He really seemed to come alive while you were alone with him. But in public Wanderer would practically become your shadow. Always behind you but never saying a thing unless asked. At first you thought he was just shy but after a while it became apparent in his lack of anything much besides hand holding and quick hugs that he really just wasn't all that tender of a man.
He didn't care about making friends or even appearing friendly.
He just liked you.
And you had come to the belief in your mind that if you didn't exist, he probably would let himself become an urban legend in Sumeru.
You could just hear the stories too.
Like "they say if you're outside alone for too long past twilight, and the streets are empty, you'll see a mysterious man wearing a big hat watching you from the shadows." They'd probably call him the hat man or something.
And while this definitely wouldn't bother others much, Wanderer's borderline lack of desire would often be torture for you.
You were always such a cuddly woman. You liked hugs and kisses and just getting to snuggle those you loved to near death.
And even though he would never stop you, sometimes you could almost intuitively feel your boyfriend mentally forcing himself to get comfortable with you suddenly wrapping your arms around him or kissing his neck from behind as you tried to climb onto his back.
Because obviously he loved you.
But he just couldn't ever really match your enthusiasm for certain intimate acts.
Wanderer was a solitary man.
Just being in a relationship probably felt strange for him.
And so you decided to back off after a while. You didn't want him to feel uncomfortable with you and since he usually went above and beyond to act as a protector and almost a complete provider for you (at least these days after you moved in together), you decided to be fair and at least let him have his personal space outside of your bedroom.
You still got your snuggles at night, so you could cope.
That's what you told yourself.
However after a few months you began to feel oddly drained and unmotivated. You were always tired.
You didn't really feel like going out much anymore and would just stay in bed for most of the day.
Wanderer immediately noticed this shift in demeanor (probably before you even did) and often asked you directly if you were ill or if he was making you unhappy. You would always assure him it wasn't anything he did and that you weren't sure why this was happening to you (you really weren't) and finally one day while out with other friends, you're given a solution to your growing depression.
Your friend remarked that it sounded like you just needed to spend some time with yourself. And by this she meant that you should masturbate.
You felt a little embarrassed by the topic at first. You hadn't really explored that area of yourself since you were younger and puberty hormones made you curious like any other normal boy or girl.
Yet your friend swore on it and said that you would feel a thousand times better afterwards. You even went with her to a small shop hidden away in Port Ormos to buy a toy for yourself that she claimed would change your life.
After that it was just about getting to know yourself and well... getting off.
The first part wasn't that hard.
You waited until Wanderer left the house for a bit to do whatever it was he did during his long periods of being gone, and then found a relaxing position for yourself on the bed and got to work.
The toy you had gotten was just a dildo at first glance but according to your friend, some researchers had gone above and beyond for the girlies of Teyvat and incorporated bits of electro crystals into the final design in a safe and rather enjoyable manner.
In other words this thing would vibrate.
You held the newly purchased pink vibrator toy in your hand and stared at it for a bit before finally using your own saliva to lubricate the tip and sliding it into your slit carefully. Once inside you pressed a button at the base and suddenly you felt like every nerve in your body was brought to life. You cried out as the toy almost instantly brought you to orgasm. Your first orgasm technically.
It took some actual effort to move your hand after that and pump the thing in and out of your now aching cunt.
It felt absolutely... perfect.
You would do this for an hour or so and only by the time dusk arrived and you grew nervous about Wanderer accidentally finding out what you were doing, would you quickly put your toy away and clean up. You hurriedly stripped the bed, tossing the sheets into the basket reserved for dirty linen in the bathroom and then climbing into the bath yourself.
You would have just finished showering and would be attempting to put new sheets on the bed by the time Wanderer came back.
And of course he was immediately suspicious of your good mood.
He wasn't upset though. He always did secretly find your smile to be very cute looking. But something about it just seemed... different today.
He waited until you went into the kitchen for something to eat and then began to analyze the place. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. But you were displaying guilty body language.
And worst of all you STILL weren't trying to hug him.
Wanderer had never wanted to admit it but he had found your desire to always touch him rather sweet. And then one day you had just... stopped.
You grew depressed.
You didn't want to touch him at all practically.
Had he done something wrong?
Wanderer knew he wasn't the affectionate or romantic type really. But he knew that it was his duty in a relationship with a woman to care for her and make sure she's safe and that her needs are met.
He thought he had done a pretty good job at that at least.
And then suddenly you had seemed like you found his very presence... repulsive.
And to make matters worse now, he had discovered that for some reason, you had changed the bedding and took a shower at a strange hour.
It seemed to click in his head then.
You had cheated on him hadn't you?
Wanderer couldn't even look at you after that. He had remembered what Nahida said once about learning an entire situation before reacting and her words alone were what kept him from turning you into a missing persons case that night.
How DARE you throw away your relationship with him, how dare you just step on his love for you and seek out another?
What had he done to deserve such an unfaithful and manipulative woman in his life?
You had tried to hug him to sleep again that night but Wanderer just turned over and ignored you.
He could practically feel your heartbreak at his silent rejection but you said nothing. You just went to sleep as you normally did while Wanderer merely stared at a wall all night.
Forming a plan on how he would catch you in the act of cheating tomorrow and then no one would blame him for exacting vengeance in the situation. Because he would let it be known that it had been you who took his care for you for granted.
However the day would actually play out VERY differently than what Wanderer imagined.
That afternoon he returned to the house you two shared and effortlessly got inside without making a single noise or leaving any evidence whatsoever of his entry. He was in his element a little here as he hid just outside of the bedroom door and waited for the right moment to catch you and whoever you were with, Wanderer could practically make himself invisible if he wanted and he could probably make even the most elite fatui spy weep as he made them look new.
So you not hearing him quickly slip into the bedroom as you made love to yourself was definitely expected.
But what he actually saw you doing was what shocked him.
There you were on the bed you two shared, on your back with your legs spread wide as a phallic shaped toy brought you to orgasm right before Wanderer's eyes.
It took him a few seconds to actually believe what he was witnessing. And yet he couldn't bring himself to look away.
You made the most interesting expressions. Your body would tense and shiver in ways that bordered on downright enticing. Your voice sounded so uncharacteristically feminine and soft as you would moan and squeal as you thrusted the toy in and out of your pussy.
Wanderer didn't know what to say or how to move at that point.
However several things finally became clear to him, apparently you were pent up. and this was what had made you eventually become withdrawn and depressed.
How you got the idea to do this was beyond him.
He knew he shouldn't be watching you do this. He hadn't been invited and if anything he was the reason you were doing this at all.
He had left you unsatisfied. He had fallen short of making you completely happy with him as a boyfriend.
And this gnawed at his mind more than he cared to admit.
Why didn't you even BOTHER to ask him to help you?
Did he make you feel like he would react poorly?
Did you just...not find him... attractive?
Wanderer suddenly felt a familiar sense of failure deep in his soul.
He hated it.
But damnit, he couldn't stand the idea of you wanting something and getting it some other way besides him.
He could make you scream like that too if you had just asked nicely.
Or maybe begged a little.
A small smirk forms on Wanderer's face as he suddenly feels himself actually getting aroused at the idea.
That's when he makes a decision, fuck it.
You were so desperate to be touched that you were shoving a piece of silicone into yourself. It was pitiful.
He would show you so much better.
After all, wasn't this something a good boyfriend did anyway?
You nearly faint as you see Wanderer suddenly appear beside the bed.
He made no sound whatsoever.
"Wanderer? Oh my god!" You immediately try to sit up but Wanderer stops you by suddenly leaning down and smashing his lips against yours.
You let a small surprised gasp as you feel your tongues intertwine and his hand pull on the toy still buried inside of you. He pulls it almost completely out before suddenly shoving it back in as far as it can go.
You squeal with delight and Wanderer quickly swallows your soft moans and whimpers as he continues to kiss you while now pumping your vibrator in and out of your pussy. His fingers find the button as well, your legs shake as Wanderer fucks you with the toy.
He finally gives you a chance to catch your breath as he increases the speed of the vibrator too.
"oh Wanderer! Yes please right there..!" You mewl.
He grins mischievously
"feeling good? Heh, you look so cute like this I hope you know. I might just want to keep you like this from now on ~" he purred.
He moves to get in front of you and lifts one of your knees over his shoulder as he continues to get you off. The way he twists and pumps the vibrator makes your breath hitch and your body tremble. However at some point he tries angling it and now you feel yourself starting to come undone.
"please there! Ah! More~ more please ~ Wanderer ~"
You feel your lower body tightening up as he continues to stir up your insides. You wanted to adjust yourself a little but you couldn't. He held onto you in a way that forced you to keep your legs wide open for him and even as tears form in your eyes and you feel your toes curling and uncurling as a powerful orgasm rakes through you, Wanderer still just watches you with such intense eyes as if your every sound and movement was being noted in his mind.
He doesn't let go of you after but slowly he does pull the vibrator out of your still aching cunt. You watch with wide eyes as he brings the toy to his lips and begins to lick your juices from it. He meets your gaze as he speaks in a low and seductive tone.
"you taste so nice Y/N. I've never had anything like it before ~ mind if I sample a little more?~" he asks as he suddenly discards the vibrator to the side and before you can even process what he's asking, grabs your other leg and pulls it over his other shoulder.
You gasp and feel yourself at a loss for words as Wanderer suddenly buries his face against your pussy and begins to fuck you with his tongue almost roughly. You whine and moan as he practically lifts you off the mattress and becomes a man with one goal in mind.
Your fingers dig into the bedding when he finally gives some attention to your clit. His tongue encircled the tiny bud and teasing it lovingly as he kept you firmly against him no matter how much you cried out and tried to wiggle your hips for some relief. Wanderer realized this was a sensitive spot and kept stimulating it and because of this you felt your body go slack finally. Accepting the pleasure assault on your delicate nub.
"Wanderer your tongue ~ feels so good ~" you moan softly as you feel your body reaching another climax quickly.
You feel him give your clit a small yet rather rough suck then. Causing a small cry to escape your lips as you feel your pussy clench. You couldn't handle this for much longer...it feels so good...
Wanderer keeps going.
You squeeze your thighs around his head as he keeps his hands on your knees and locks you in place. He keeps his pace until eventually you feel your insides flutter with the relief of climax once again. Eagerly he shoves his tongue in your hole and begins to lap up your release. You still can't move and he won't let you go. He practically cleans you with his tongue before making eye contact with you again and giving you a rather hungry look.
You barely have time to open your mouth before he's trying to make you cum again.
Why did you ever doubt that he'd be interested in pleasing you like this?
He'd make you regret ever believing that.
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girlkisser13 · 8 months ago
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dating tim drake would include
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• tim is really sweet. he’ll kiss you to welcome you home or say goodbye when he goes out on patrol and he’ll happily carry you to bed if you fall asleep on the sofa and makes sure to tell you that he loves you everyday.
• he hacks your computer sometimes (for good reasons though). like you’ll just turn on your computer/laptop and your background is changed to a picture of you and tim together. <33
• even though everyone knows that you’re dating he still gets quite flustered and is prone to blushing if you call him a pet name in front of others. (you’d definitely do this just to see him blush).
• tim has your coffee order memorized (no matter how complicated it is).
• tim is SUPER clingy when he’s sleepy, like he can be needy and just want to hug and kiss you all the time. they’re kinda sloppy because he’s tired but his lust for affection is still cute.
• he cuddles or hugs you any chance he gets to make up for the many hours he spends on his computer away from you.
• since he’s a detective, he notices every detail including anything off about yourself. if something is wrong he will notice immediately no matter how good you are at hiding it, afterward he’d do pretty much anything to make you feel better. (even leave his computer for a day or so).
• he notices everything about you. favorite flower, favorite color, he always seems to notice that you’re cold even before you do and wraps his jacket around you. that intense focus can be a lot, sometimes, a bit overwhelming even. but at the same time you’re touched that he just seems so interested in everything about you. he wants to learn every last detail about you and is willing to take the time to do so.
• tim works really hard and doesn’t keep regular sleep patterns as a result, which means it’s up to you to make sure he gets proper sleep most of the time. plus, you’re one of the few people he actually listens to since you’re basically his favourite person. <33
• you have to learn most of his sweet spots to use against him whenever you’re trying to drag him away from the computer for a break.
• he remembers important dates even if it’s last minute— he still remembers. anniversaries, birthdays, you name it and if it’s anything to do with you then he’ll remember it and usually buys the best gifts for you.
• he celebrates the most ridiculous anniversaries, and he always remembers them. like, “it’s been one year since the first time you held my hand” or “it’s been a month since we went to that fair and rode the ferris wheel”.
• he lets you play with his hair and it’s so entertaining, he doesn’t mind and finds it relaxing when you run your fingers through it, he always checks to see what he looks like after you’ve styled it whether it be a man bun, ponytail, or braids. you told him that he looked good in a loose ponytail once and you he didn’t take it out for whole day.
• the two of you get take out food at least once a week because tim cannot cook to save his life, he just gets too distracted and the food gets burnt. he will also take time just to eat with you and ask about your day rather than work or will watch tv with you.
• tim LOVES watching detective shows with you but but sometimes it can get annoying because will usually ruin the ending by telling you who the criminal is and the exact reasons for his motives so it’s difficult to ignore the fact he just destroyed the next 45 minutes for you.
• he’s a literal genius so if you need help with anything he is on it, he’s actually written your essays for you before but you know that you couldn’t pass them off as your own because it’s not your writing style and you redo them using his basic ideas. you’re very appreciative of his assistance but tell him he doesn’t need to do that for you. however, he shakes it off as if it was nothing.
• he loves you and your acceptance of his coffee loving and sleep-deprived ways. <33
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