#certainly not anyone irl

[reallysleepymermaid]

Lost the fight

(I’ll win the war)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

This wine tastes like pigs blood!

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[cyprozombiegirl]

I think it would be extremely healing for an old friend with whom I maintained an awkward and stunted relationship with throughout high school (one marked by semi open queerness and awkward failed mutual attempts at closeness) to contact me for some casual hangout, only to end up holding each other and crying through the most sensual fuck I’ve had in years

[serendipitouscontaminant]

SORRY I’M GOING TO BE INTOLERABLE ABOUT THIS I AM GOING TO BE UTTERLY ABNORMAL MY CROPS ARE WATERED MY HEART IS BUOYED BY THE JOY OF FRIENDSHIP

I just know that this whole time, even as Jacob’s been growing on Gregory, Gregory has been holding back, has been telling himself that no, he’s not going to reward this annoying behavior. He keeps most people at arm’s length like it’s his job, so why should he even vaguely entertain this desperate desire for friendship for any other reason than the fact that this person he really cares about just happens to care about Jacob too?

And he’s right, of course he’s right. He’s not obligated to even like Jacob, and definitely not obligated to be his friend. We’ve seen many times that Jacob has a lot of faults, up to and including a bad habit of making himself everyone’s problem.

But fine, Gregory will fully admit it: Gregory likes Jacob anyway. He’s Gregory’s friend anyway. So, feeling unmoored and needing support, Gregory knows who he is willing to turn to for that support, and he decides to just…let this friendship breathe.

He is the one who offers a hug first! Even if it’s awkward, that means so much! The first time Jacob ever met Gregory, he tried to hug him, which, understandably, Gregory found weird and off-putting. He didn’t even know the guy. But now he does, and when he wants to communicate that he genuinely appreciated Jacob, he doesn’t go with a dubious “thank you,” he invites a hug, which we’ve never seen him do before, so he could’ve just…not done that. Jacob was impressively cool about it, but it doesn’t seem like he expected it.

And the thing is that it seems unlikely to me that Gregory, chronic overthinker, occasional unwilling study of human character, doesn’t know that outright offering a hug will cement in Jacob’s head that they’re totally besties, which means he doesn’t care if Jacob gets the wrong idea. Which means he doesn’t really think he’s actually giving him the wrong idea.

And then! Then he accepts another hug, because you know what? He needs one. And he is the one who goes for the full hug because he knows he can, he knows it’ll be okay! He trusts Jacob enough to communicate to Jacob himself that yeah, they do have a connection and he appreciates it and wants it to continue!

He lets himself lean on his friend.

Meanwhile, Jacob lets himself be redirected without feeling shut down or being shut down. He matches Gregory’s energy, realizes that he doesn’t have to try so hard. That he has things to offer Gregory and he doesn’t have to shove them at him, he can just show him. He can just be who he is, and demonstrate that he accepts Gregory for who he is. That his liking Gregory isn’t performance—he genuinely enjoys him. Jacob calms down, and he’s exactly what Gregory needs.

This time, Jacob doesn’t threaten to scream, and Gregory never tries to walk away.

I’m wrecked, I’m walking on air, this is everything to me, I reiterate that I am NOT normal about this in any possible way.

[seventh-district]

again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.

[ectonurites]

also can i just. say. having a bomb threat earlier today on the anniversary of when someone i casually knew was murdered felt a little freaky

[paradisaeaparedrae]

I cannot and will not stop thinking or ever talking about the connotations of Aventurine having BPD please i could go on about it for hours but never know where to begin. I am down on my knees crying and begging.

[black-rose-writings]

Watching a girl vape on the tram stop: You're like 12, go chew bubblegum if you want to be cool.

[kavehater]

Man I just give up.

[iknaenmal]

finished good omens im gonna be so annoying about this for the next three months sorry

[prozac-shaped-urn]

Starting my 9/11 masochism marathon* early this year. It’s July. Might as well.

(I do this every year in September but this year is calling me to it early for some reason. Idk.)

*I watch documentaries and home videos and live tv shows that center around 9/11 for about a week leading up to it

[gregmarriage]

really think i need to make more irl friends, but it feels so impossible. like most of the ppl my age seem to only hang out in bars, and it’s like sorry, i’m uncool and can’t drink, bc i’m on medication. and making friends via dating apps or something similar is abysmal. so, i’m kinda stuck imaooooo

[pink-lemonadefairy]

really amazing how the worst people are the ones who constantly have to tell everyone how empathetic and kind they are or how much they “value” positivity and making other people happy

[sailforvalinor]

Just had a reverse “you think about your old writing through rose-colored glasses but when you go back to read it it’s kind of terrible” moment, I went back and read some of my pre-uni/pandemic writing fully expecting it to be terrible and was like “oh this is…pretty good actually?”

[zukoromantic]

Low-key traumatizing for people without (romantic) relationships (doesn't apply to everyone, but to some) to witness everyone they care about fall in love and see them having a connection you know they hold in a regard you can never reach

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

i am the bullet in the gun (and i control you) i am the truth from which you run (and i control you) i am the silencing machine (and i control you) i am the end of all your dreams (and i control you) i take you where you want to go i give you all you need to know i drag you down, i use you up mr. self destruct 🎵