#certain types of people can never be without sin

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Devastated doesn't even cover it.

I'm never trusting a cishet writer of queer people again.

For someone who had given up on being happy, of being whole. For someone who only existed for someone else because there was no reason to be alive (I certainly wasn't worth anything beyond the service I could render to others), Izzy Hands gave me hope that it was never too late to be your true self.

He found love, acceptance, and he was beginning to take those tentative few steps towards being whole. He didn't need Ed. He was worth something all on his own.

And they killed him.

They killed the old, disabled queer who had lived a hard, lonely life where his only purpose was to be someone's loyal attack dog, and was finally finding happiness, a family.

"It's about belonging."

"This is a story about queer love, about queer joy."

But not if you're old, disabled, battling with the scars the world has left on you, had to do things to survive. The best you can hope for is to apologise to your abuser and then find peace in death.

Queer joy is only for the right kind of queer.

[theyanderespecialist]

Yandere Mammon X Listener (Helluva Boss)

Base Yandere Mammon Headcanons: A Greedy Yandere

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with another chapter. This one will be made into a video as well so keep an eye out for that! Anyway, this one is about Mammon! Please enjoy this chapter!]

(Disclaimer: Mammon is in canon to be the absolute worst! This is canon. What is NOT Canon is him being yandere. Mammon is not yandere in canon. This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine. Just do not be illegal or gross about it. Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon. Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life. Thank you!]

(Base Yandere Headcanons With Mammon From Helluva Boss X Gender Neutral Reader)

.Mammon is the absolute worst as a yandere.

.You want a toxic and high-key abusive yandere.

.It is for sure going to be The Sin of greed.

.This man is the most greedy SOB Yandere out there.

. Especially when it comes to you.

.But unlike other yanderes would be, he will probably make sex robots of you to sell.

.Of course, NO ONE Can have the real thing.

.He most likely gets off on the fact that people buy fake versions of you and that he is the ONLY ONE Who gets the real you.

.He is greedy and you need to have your full focus on him.

.You are HIS Daring and HE IS THE KING OF GREED Why would you want to be with anyone else?

.He is also so underhanded and manipulative.

.He knows when he pushes you to far, and will show that he cares to keep you from leaving him or fighting against him.

.This man is the type fo man that will manipulate you into thinking you needed him.

.That without him you are nothing at all.

.Oh SATAN In Tube Top! Is this man toxic.

.He knows damn well that you can do WAY Better than him.

.So He will keep you under his thumb as much as possible so you never realize what a piece of poo he is.

.He is also the most petty and jealous type of yandere.

.Something so small, as you just smiling at someone else can make him pissed off at the person and Jealous of him.

.Again with being the Sin of Greed you should only be his.

.You are for certain seen as a prize and object by him and less like a person.

.You are his treasure.

.He also would spoil you, not because he is willing to pay money, but because he knows if he keeps giving you gifts you will be less likely to leave him.

.He is a spider-like demon so he will have you in his webs.

.It did not take him long to get you trapped in his webs of lies and obsession.

.He would have for sure made it look and seem like he was such a great guy.

.Spoiling you, taking care of you, and just adoring you.

.Once he is certain you will not turn him down he will ask you to be his partner.

.If you say yes, you can expect to not be gaslit and for him to continue to spoil you.

.If you say no he will say all the stuff he has done for you, how he spoiled you.

.He will gaslight you into thinking you were ungrateful and that you were losing out.

.Either way, he is going to get you to agree.

.If you don't well he can always chain you down and keep you and his imprisoned treasure.

.He on some sick level would think to himself that he does care for you.

.He really does feel that he loves you, but his love is very much with him getting what he wants and making sure that he does not lose you, but where he can use you.

.He shows his love no matter how toxic it is by buying gifts for your cause it is the one way he knows he can show how much he adores you.

.So in short he is very manipulative, deadly, toxic, sugar daddy yandere more or less.

.Money and gift-giving being his love language.

.He would also slaughter his rivals.

.No if, and or buts, about it. No one is good enough for you.

.He is the only one good enough for you.

.He also would offer money to his rivals to leave you alone. But they better not get greedy about it, cause they will end up dead for good.

.Side note: Mammon sees himself as Lucifer's best friend and he is a rip-off artist. Making the off-brand loo loo land. (Those were just canon lore for you all!)

.Back to his petty side, it does not take much for him to be petty, and with rivals, he will be even more petty and would get revenge for the littlest of things!

[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS finally got this done! I hope you all enjoyed it, there might be a scenario on YouTube for audio storytelling! Anyways I hope you all enjoyed and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins!]

[blues824]

don't know if this has been done yet but may i request twst dorm leaders with a barbatos!reader?

Riddle Rosehearts

Even though you both are quite the opposite of each other, he actually appreciated how you were competent, unlike the majority of his dormitory. As a result, you both became very close. You would bake sweets in exchange for some tea leaves in Heartslabyul. Your sweets were a bit richer and sweeter than Trey’s… one could describe it as sinful.

Once, at an unbirthday party, you were discussing something with Riddle. It was about the intricacy of the china they used. However, Ace interrupted you. You put on a smile, but threw a fork at the first year as a reminder to never interrupt you. The Housewarden was most definitely shocked, but it was about time someone shut Ace up.

When Riddle introduced you to the dormouse in the teapot, he noticed that you hid behind him. You told him with a nervous smile that you were scared of rats and mice, and he quickly led you away so that you wouldn’t be freaked out anymore.

You were a very smooth-talker, and with words alone you were able to sweep the Heartslabyul Housewarden off of his very feet. You served him as though you were a measly servant to the Queen of Hearts, but you were more to him than that. No, one day you would sit beside him on his throne and rule alongside him, just like you reign over his heart.

Leona Kingscholar

For once, someone who’s actually smart. You can utilize your brain, and that’s what he likes about you. After all, with the ADeuce and Grim trio always causing trouble, he always gets woken up in a very rude manner.

He remembers the time where he actually went down to the cafeteria and you accompanied him. Your company was enjoyable and you started talking about something you were passionate about, when Ruggie interrupted you to announce that food was ready. You threw your knife at the hyena with a polite smile, asking him to never interrupt you again.

Leona always calls you ‘herbivore’ because you like to drink a lot of tea, even though you are a demon. Eventually, it gets to your last nerve and you throw hands with the Housewarden of Savanaclaw. You obviously come out victorious, and Leona swears he fell for you right then and there.

You both tend to tease a bit, but when you tease each other it turns into flirting. Anyone would get flustered with what you both say to each other, but you smooth-talk each other as though it was as easy as breathing air. It becomes a verbal battle between the two of you, and neither of you have the intention of waving a white flag.

Azul Ashengrotto

You both are definitely shady, that’s for certain. You remind him a lot of Jade, with your loyalty to the people who benefit you the most. However, you were better in a profitable sense. You moved with an inhuman speed and served customers with a smile.

One moment comes to mind, and it’s funny for him to think about. You were discussing the benefits of adding different types of tea to the menu with Azul, when Floyd shouted ‘SERPENT’. You, not enjoying being interrupted, threw a fork at the eel. You then just calmly returned to your conversation like you didn’t just pin Floyd to the wall by an eating utensil.

There’s also the fact that you threw hands with Floyd because he wouldn’t stop calling you serpent. That was a very eventful day at the Mostro Lounge, with you pressing your foot into the eel’s back in victory. Azul is just standing there in complete shock as you ‘politely’ remind Floyd that your name is Y/N.

You like to tease the Housewarden of Octavinelle a lot, and it makes him so freaking flustered. You’re able to say things that border on flirting, and it makes his face redder than the Princess of the Sea’s hair. He usually can’t speak to you at all without stuttering, so this is just the cherry on top of the Shy Azul Sundae.

Kalim Al-Asim

You were the calm in Kalim’s storm. You and Jamil instantly bonded over the fact that the two of you were the only ones who were able to talk some sense into him, also you both served him. However, Kalim seemed more attached to you than to Jamil.

He remembers the time where he invited you, Ace, Deuce, and Grim to Scarabia and you both were caught in conversation about the tea leaves he had imported from the Scalding Sands. Ace had decided that he would interrupt you by stating that the topic was boring when a fork cut off individual hairs as it zoomed by. You, with a ‘polite’ smile, told him that it was rude to speak when someone else is talking.

During that same visit, Ace and Grim kept calling you a bunch of different names. Eventually, you get fed up and pack them both up like your suitcase when you go on vacation. Kalim definitely was shocked at the amount of strength you had and how short the battle was. 

He doesn’t really understand what you are trying to do when you try to smooth-talk him. Jamil often has to explain when the Housewarden asks him, then Kalim feels so dumb and oblivious for not getting what you said the first time around. Maybe if you keep flirting, he will eventually be able to comprehend the connotations.

Vil Schoenheit 

I think you both make a great match. You both are very temperate and polite to those who are polite back. He thinks you’re beautiful, and you agree that he is the fairest of them all. He also genuinely enjoys your company since you don’t have any weird personality quirks. You seem relatively normal.

Once, while Vil was doing Epel’s skincare and makeup routine, you were telling him about how beneficial a certain tea was to the body and soul. Unfortunately, Epel decided that he was going to interrupt by loudly exclaiming that he didn’t want to be pretty. You threw a fork that barely missed him, and you told him with a smile that it was rude to interrupt. Vil was in complete shock at the precision you had.

Rook loved to call you by different names. However, it was annoying since you were Y/N and not any other name (besides maybe ‘darling’ by Vil). You gladly used your tail to whip the hunter out of the tree he was in and make him land in the dirt. Vil definitely scolded you, complaining about how he would have to mend the uniform.

You both like to smooth-talk each other. Vil doesn’t like admitting defeat in matters such as these, so he gives you a run for your money. However, you are a demon who has had to do these kinds of things for the benefit of your home. You eventually get him to cave, and you quietly celebrate your victory with a warm cup of tea.

Idia Shroud

You remind him of the demon butler from Adhere To Me!, and he reminds you of Levi. He just thinks you’re so freaking cool and awesome. You both are smart in completely different topics, so you will do your best to try and understand the basics in technology. As a result, he will try to research a few different tea leaves and their properties.

There was one time where Crowley called a Housewarden meeting and you tried to get some of your thoughts and opinions into the conversation, but everyone kept talking over you. Eventually, you threw a fork and snagged Crowley's mask off just to get everyone’s attention. Idia just watched through the tablet camera, and he was in complete shock.

At the same point, Leona decided to further interrupt you and started his sentence by calling you ‘herbivore’. It struck through your last nerve and you lunged at the Housewarden of Savanaclaw. Idia timed it, and it was exactly 5 seconds until you were brushing off your clothes and Leona had a black eye and was down on the ground.

If you tried to smooth-talk Idia, he would just sit there with red hair and a red face. He could never dream of reciprocating the flirtations, considering he is way too shy to speak to you most of the time. Ortho often has to use a fan so that he could cool down his older brother.

Malleus Draconia

You both are very temperate, and you act a lot alike. However, you swear to serve him for as long as he shall let you. It’s very taboo, a Prince in love with his housekeeper. However, most of Diasomnia supports this union… except for Sebek.

That half-fae loved to interrupt every single conversation you have with Malleus, even if it really wasn’t any of his business anyway. Eventually, while Sebek was distracted by the sound of his own voice, you had thrown a fork so fast that he almost didn’t see it. He wasn’t able to move in time, so it nicked his cheek and drew blood. You, with a kind tone, reminded him that it was rude to interrupt. Malleus had to hold back his laughter.

Sebek also loved to call you ‘demon’, not recalling the negative connotation it gave someone. You eventually had enough and threw hands. In 3 seconds, you had pinned the knight to the ground with your foot to his neck, heel digging into his Adam’s apple. Malleus made a comment about how Sebek might not be worthy of being his knight if he was so easily defeated by someone with the training of a butler.

Flirting with Malleus can go one of three ways: he gets confused, he reciprocates, or both. Demons and dragons weren’t all that different, but courting was where you could definitely see the difference. You had made a pact with him so you would be tied to him, he had given you the heart of his hoard, and that was that. It was very anticlimactic, but it worked out for the two of you.

[aishangotome]

Roger Barel: Chapter 9

Chapter 8

♡———♡

Roger: It's a collar. You've been promoted from chore girl to pet dog, congrats.

Kate: Thank you so much! Such a cute collar... wait, collar?

Kate: I told you to stop treating me like a dog.

(Geez, it's such a lovely choker, too. A collar...)

Even if I glare or sulk, Roger just keeps staring at my face, smiling happily.

(...When Roger smiles, he looks like an innocent boy.)

His usually sharp, thick eyebrows are lowered, and his canine teeth peek out defenselessly from his smiling lips.

Why does seeing that smile make me happy too?

(...Besides)

Since becoming Roger's personal Fairytale Keeper, the anxiety and hesitation within me have disappeared.

(Even if I'm being teased, having someone by my side to watch over my growth like this)

(Gives me a great sense of purpose, and makes me want to look forward and do my best.)

(Well... it does also feel like I'm being toyed with in the palm of Roger's hand.)

Still, the changes that have happened while spending time with Roger are something I'm happy about.

(I'm sure by being together, Roger is understanding me more and more.)

(As if he's unraveling a research subject.)

On the other hand, as for me...

(The more time I spend with him, the deeper the mystery of Roger as a person becomes.)

(That's why... I want to know more about Roger.)

Kate: Roger, um... could you give me one more reward?

Roger: Oh, it's rare for the shy girl to ask for something. Alright, tell me.

Kate: The more time I spend with you, the less I understand why you chose to be in Crown,

Kate: and what kind of research you're doing.

Kate: So, I want to know the reason...

Roger: Is that as my personal Fairytale Keeper? Or out of Kate's own interest?

Amber eyes sear into my heart.

Kate: ...Probably both.

As a Fairytale Keeper, to record his cursed "sins."

And as for myself, surely...

To know what it is that occasionally makes my heart race.

I definitely have an interest in Roger.

But I still can't quite put into words what kind of interest it is.

Kate: However, I don't want to intrude on things you don't want to say or past events you don't want to share.

Kate: If you'd rather not, we can forget about it...

Roger: Heh, haha. You really are an honest and good girl.

Roger: Alright, I don't have any dark secrets to hide anyway.

Roger: Summarizing it is tricky... it'll be a bit long, but do you mind?

--CHOICES--

I don't mind.

You'll tell me?

It's a long journey.

-

Kate: You'll tell me?

Roger: I'm not hiding anything, and you're the one who asked, right?

Roger: Well, I was planning to tell someone someday anyway. I didn't think it would be you.

With those words, a long story began.

––Contrary to the train moving forward, Roger's story delves into the past.

Roger: You've met him, my father was a doctor.

Roger: So, ever since I was a child, going in and out of the clinic was my daily routine.

Roger: I'm the eldest of five siblings. Maybe that's why my father relied on me quite a bit.

Roger: Before I knew it, I decided to become a doctor.

(At first, I thought Roger seemed like an older brother type...)

Kate: So you're the eldest, Roger. No wonder you're so caring...

Kate: What kind of child were you?

Roger: Not that different from now. A knowledge-hungry brat who would sneak peeks at my father's medical books and charts.

Roger: Maybe because he was so free-spirited himself, my father was a tolerant man. He'd laugh off most things.

Roger: But I remember being severely scolded only once, when I tried to read a certain research material without permission.

Kate: That research material...

Roger: "About the cursed."

Cursed - a word I didn't know a few weeks ago, but now it's familiar.

If I hadn't met Crown that night, I would never have known it for the rest of my life.

(Roger found out about it at his father's clinic...)

Kate: But only a few people are supposed to know about the existence of the cursed, right?

The information is controlled, and the existence of both the curse and Crown is kept secret from the public.

(I became a Fairytale Keeper because I found out about it...)

Roger: My father is one of those "few" people.

Roger: Well, I guess he "noticed" it while examining his patients.

Kate: I see. It's true that doctors examine a lot of people's bodies.

Kate: The fact that he scolded you means that your father realized it was something that shouldn't be known to the public.

Kate: He tried to keep it a secret from Roger.

Roger: Yeah, but a child's thirst for knowledge is a scary thing.

Roger: I read through my father's research materials on the cursed behind his back.

Roger: My father should have hidden them in a safe or something. His management was sloppy.

Kate: ...That's why you had free access to medical books and charts since you were a kid.

Kate: Speaking of which, haha, you've been Roger since you were a kid.

Roger: Well, that's true. Now, here's the main point of the story.

Roger: When I finished reading most of the research materials on the cursed,

Roger: I wanted to meet the author of the materials, "Alexander Taylor."

Roger: I looked for him and found out that he was a former doctor at Gracefield Royal Hospital

Roger: and also a colleague of my father.

Kate: Former, does that mean he left the hospital?

Roger: Yeah, I don't know the exact reason.

Kate: Did you find him?

Roger: Sooner than I thought.

Roger: My father had lent him the Barel family's greenhouse on the outskirts of town after he left the Royal Hospital,

Roger: and I found out that he was doing research there alone.

"Alexander Taylor," who left the Royal Hospital and continued his research on the curse alone.

The more I heard about him, the more my imagination was stimulated.

Kate: So, Roger, you...

Roger: Yeah, of course I went to see him. I snuck out alone late at night after my father went to bed.

*Roger's past memory*

--In a deserted greenhouse, wrapped in silence, there was a young man in a white coat, Alexander Taylor, studying the curse alone.

Roger: I'm Roger Barel, the eldest son of the Barel family. I'm interested in your research, let's be friends.

Alex: ...Yeah, go home?

Roger: Oh, haha... I see.

Roger: Well, I didn't think it would be easy, so it's worth trying to win you over.

Alex: ...You seem like a troublesome child.

After that, I visited him many times and was turned away many times. But when he learned that I had knowledge of the curse, Alex seemed to give up and accept me.

Alex: You're persistent...

Roger: Yeah, I'm the type who will do whatever it takes to get what I want.

Alex: Sigh, okay, I give up.

Alex: You can come here to play. If you can keep one promise.

Roger: Yeah, I can keep it! So we're friends from today.

I was unexpectedly happy to be friends with him. I grabbed Alex's hand without permission and swung it around. Then, he showed me a smile for the first time.

Alex: Haha, okay. We're friends from today, nice to meet you, little doctor.

Roger: So I started going to the greenhouse often and spending time with Alex.

Roger: He was the first friend I could call my own.

The nostalgic cough was gentle.

Roger: I knew even as a child that Alex was a very talented man.

Roger: That's why I wondered why such a man had left the Royal Hospital

Roger: and was hiding in this greenhouse researching the curse.

One time, I asked him a question.

Roger: Hey, Alex. Why are you doing research on the cursed in a place like this?

Roger: Curses are born all over the world, but there are very few of them, right?

Roger: Wouldn't it be better to establish a cure for cancer, which is considered an incurable disease?

Roger: Then you could let the world know how great Alex's talent is!

Alex: Maybe so. Alex: But I think I have to do this research even if I have to throw away my status, fame, and money.

With that, Alex suddenly looked away with a sad expression.

Alex: Someone will find a cure for cancer, but for the curse... I'm sure no one will find it.

Alex: The voices of the few are often drowned out. That's why I have to listen.

Roger: Hmm. Alex is great because he can work hard for others.

Alex: It's not that good. I just don't want my soul to rot, Roger.

Roger: I always went to see Alex at the appointed time. He forbade me to go at any other time.

Roger: So, I went to see him at the appointed time that day too... but he didn't come back no matter how long I waited.

Roger: ...I kept waiting there.

Roger swallows his dry voice and purses his lips.

Kate: ...Something happened, didn't it?

Roger: Yeah, Alex burst into the greenhouse while being chased by the police.

The greenhouse door suddenly opened with such force that I thought it would break.

Alex: Roger... why? I thought you were home...

Roger: ...Alex, what's with the police? What happened?

Black-Haired Police Officer: We are arresting Alexander Taylor, a former doctor at the Royal Hospital, as the main culprit in the organ trafficking case!

Roger: Organ trafficking? Alex?

Roger: There's no way Alex would do something like that...!

Brown-Haired Police Officer: What's with this kid? Is this kid involved too?

Black-haired Police Officer: Let's take this kid in as a witness.

The police officers reach out to me.

Roger: Stop it!

Alex: ...

Alex - to help me, he touched the top of the police officers' heads. At that moment, their hands snapped together. Like praying to God.

Brown-Haired Police Officer: What the... my hands won't come apart...!

Roger: ...A special ability...

Roger: Alex is... a cursed...?

Black-Haired Police Officer: You monster! Hey, you kid with the glasses, are you involved with this guy?

Roger: Of course, I'm Alex's fri-

Alex: ...Roger.

Alex: ...It was a promise, wasn't it?

Roger: Ah.

**at the beginning of their friendship**

Alex: You can come here to play. If you can keep one promise.

Roger: What's the promise?

Alex: If anyone asks you about our relationship, you answer like this:

Alex: "We're not friends. This person and I are strangers."

Roger: What's with that weird promise? Well, I guess it's embarrassing to be friends with a kid like me.

Alex: ...Maybe so. It's a promise, Roger.

I finally realized the meaning of that promise as a child.

Roger: Th-this person and I...

Roger: "We're not friends. This person and I are strangers."

Alex: ...Thank you. --- "It's okay now."

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 10

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[esmeriandreamer]

Just saw someone call AO3 a "cp-website" and I'm gonna just-

Like I know every time the Archive has a fundraiser some people will crawl out of the woodworks and spout bullcrap, but geez-

If you don't like AO3, fine, that's your opinion. But don't call it a "cp-website", nor demonize people who donate to their fundraiser, from which a large part of the funds goes to KEEPING THE SERVERS AND HAVING PROPER LEGAL PROTECTION.

You know one of the main reasons why AO3 was created? Because in the "old days", if someone didn't like the fact that you, I dunno, wrote some wholesome gay fic online, they could report it and you might just lose your whole fic without warning, because think of the children, right? And to really put icing on the cake, your account might be deleted too. 🙃

Or, like I experienced, it won't just be one or three reports that get your fic taken down. Critics United for example was a group of these ~lovely~ people who would go on people's fics and suggest (harass) the author on how to change their fic to be "improved upon" (aka sanitize the fuck out of it so there is no trace of what they saw as gross/bad/wrong/cringe/sinful/etc.). If they didn't manage to harass you into deleting, they'd just mass report you.

I got literal death and rape threats for writing a Spamano version of Beauty and the Beast, told I was a criminal and that my parents should've killed me in my crib.

ALL OVER A STUPID LITTLE SELFINDULGENT FIC.

They even went so far as to track my username down from Fanfiction.net to Wattpad, and only once I got it on AO3 was the story able stay up because they had no way of harassing or reporting me like they could before, because I could easily turn my comments off to "registered users only" or even to "moderate comments." and that scared them off.

This was in 2016 by the way. Not even a decade ago. Now I could even block people if I want on AO3, so it gets harder to harass me, even if I did care.

But like yes, I agree on the fact that fics with cp are allowed on the site is rather gross. I would never write nor read it. But you know what helps with this?

AO3 HAS THIS TAGGING SYSTEM IN WHICH YOU CAN TAG AND FILTER OUT THE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE, SUCH AS FICS WITH THE UNDERAGE WARNING :D

And guess what? It works great! I never have to see fics with cp in it, because I filter my fics. And even if I see that I accidentally clicked on a fic like that? I click out of the page and move the fuck on.

People on AO3 can and have written the most repulsive shit known to man, but more often than not, it's tagged with big warnings in the description. I have read cringy and horrifying fics that still made me nauseous to think back on, that have changed how I look at certain characters. And guess what?

THEY STILL DESERVE TO EXIST AND BE READ BY OTHERS.

Besides, there is a very fine line as to what some people define concepts like cp. Like I define it as minors being forced/manipulated into sexual situations, while others might look at an adult anime character who looks like a little kid and say that they shouldn't be sexualized. We are both correct in our own digital space there.

I don't like "shota/lolita" nsfw stuff, others do, and so I am just letting those people be and I avoid that content. Same with scat, or watersports, or cnc. Avoid, click away, goodbye. I don't demand that all "they look young but they're actually an adult!" types of media should be banned, nor that people who enjoy (reading about) sex with bodily fluids should be publically shamed, or that people who consentually enjoy the dark fantasty of being forced should be treated like an actual rapist.

And that's really what this is about. Don't like it, don't read/look at it. This whole "but they are allowing xyz and I don't like that!!" argument is basically becoming the same right-wing argument as "but I see xyz as wrong/bad/a sin and therefor nobody should be allowed to enjoy it."

If AO3 were to be forced to ban one thing, like people dealing with their childhood SA by writing a fic about it, who is to say they won't be forced to ban something like CNC next? What about kink? Queerness? Because that is the road a lot of right-wing people want you antis to take.

It's a main reason AO3 has fundraisers. For the servers to stay up. For legal support when a company claims fanfic is bad. For times that those things might get more expensive to maintain.

And because AO3 is of the few websites that allow everyone, especially queer people, to make art and have that art be protected from those that wish to destroy anything they do not like. And yes, that protection includes protecting work made by "bad" people.

So chill, skip over that fic you don't want to see, don't donate to or interact with AO3 if you don't want to, and maybe touch some grass? That would be great.

Rant over uwu

[canonsinthehead]

Naruto Modern AU/Hollywood pt.1 - The Uchiha Family & Sasuke.

All types of reasons have led certain people to the level/status of celebrity. We will explore it in this Modern AU of Naruto. Oh yes, starting a new project (regardless of all the stuff in the drafts) as a means to share my lore and practice digital art.

They are your typical influential family/lineage/clan in the world of celebrity-dom and Hollywood. Taking their root foundation in Madara Uchiha who made a lot of money exploiting the land’s abundant minerals along with Hashirama Senju when they created Konoha. He built the foundation block of the Country’s central bank and police department. Yes, Madara lost most of his wealth through the years to the sin of gambling and failed business ventures. To this point of being a historical comedic fact of the past, his descendant Fugaku Uchiha had to rebrand and start with a "fresh foot" in a different industry; Technology & Scientific Lobbying/Investing. Along with ownership in the industrial prison complex but he’s not telling you the second part.

Finances magazine "The Ryô Treasury" loves to paint Fugaku as a self-made businessman who worked hard and won the investment lottery. These types of publications love to omit to the public the fact that anyone in the Uchiha clan born after Madara is technically a trust fund kid/nepo baby. Fugaku included since like most of his close and distant relatives were born into the higher class regardless of the money Madara lost throughout the years.

Many historians and the media do their best to conceal the depth of the influence Madara had on the country of fire and cover it up with the "billionaire gone broke" narrative because he had controversial political and social views that led to his fall apart from Hashirama Senju centuries ago.

Many industries go to the higher clans like the Hyuuga, Uchiha, Aburame & Senju for funding since they own a lot of the country’s resources and various entities. It’s hard to tell because it is well concealed on purpose like how the cheap wine you buy at the grocery store comes from a vineyard owned by a Senju who operates under a different surname.

With all that status and money, Fugaku married Mikoto (from an unknown background) and created the main and most popular unit of his clan with his two sons: Itachi and Sasuke.

Let’s Start with Sasuke:

He lived, along with his older brother, the typical luxury childhood with a large main mansion, a cottage summer home in France, maids, going to a 7-star school no one can find on Google Maps &, etc. The intense security of such a sheltered childhood created a rebellious fire in him. So, out of the blue at 18yo packed his bags and left his parents' house without warning. He settled on the rough side in the major city of Konoha to reinvent himself. After discarding his surname and blow-drying his hair, he dived into one of his hidden passions; music. With his dad’s funds, purchased a few guitars and started to compose music. Not only for pure love for the art form but in the hope of making a name for himself, to stand on his own feet and not hide in his brother’s shadow anymore. The fact that Itachi’s career was taking off around that time was pocking at his justified sibling inferiority complex (but he’ll never admit it).

After many trials and errors, he was able to befriend a few people while still refusing to disclose his identity. Like a random young guitarist coming up from the struggle, he created the punk rock band Taka along with Suigetsu (2nd guitar), Karin (bass), and Juugo (drums). They went from performing in small clubs to selling out large venues and becoming the most recognizable punk rock figure of their era and sending them on tours across different cities and countries.

Keep in mind they were able to pierce the market in Iwagakure due to the large rock music scene bringing a new sound standing out from the traditional heavy metal of the country of stone. They couldn’t say the same about other large cities like Sunagakure and Kumogakure who were at that time close to the outside musical influences until recently.

Sasuke took pride in his achievements accomplished without his father’s connections. The band was extremely popular among teens and young adults for their good music, edgy aesthetic, and participation in the punk/emo subculture.

 Let’s not lie, a lot of their female fanbase was in love with the handsome lead singer Sasuke. He was an iconic punk/emo fashion icon for his legendary smoky under-eye makeup and spiky hair. All the members rocked some type of spiky haircut as well who were immensely popular at the time. Regardless of the focus on Sasuke, many of their fans love Suigetsu with his unique looks, great sense of humor, and certified crowd-hyping skills. Karin, the one and only e-girl punk girly, and Juugo, the sweet muscular teddy bear drummer who composed a lot of the band’s songs along with Sasuke. Their sound is akin to Red Jumpsuit Apparatus’s Don’t You Fake It and early day Paramore.

Unfortunately, the band disbanded 5 years later for many reasons. First, punk rock’s popularity fell by the wayside and was outshined by rap & hip hop from Kumo (this era was short-lived). Also, Sasuke realized that all the members were growing apart in different ventures for their lives:

- Sasuke: By mistake, his family name was discovered. Somehow, he avoided the fraud accusation but realized he didn’t want to be a singer all his life. He outgrew it Also his father finally reached out to him and promised to guarantee his son’s future career venture if he came back so they could play into the "influential family" unit image Fukagu wanted to create (think of the Kardashians). Being interested in modeling, Sasuke complied.

- Suigetsu: Always wanted to do something in his hometown (Kiri). He kind of went off the spotlight, rumors say he is working with artists from Kiri and is a DJ wearing a full-face helmet, so we might never know…

- Juugo: Always known he had a talent and passion for photography, so he pursued it as a career. After putting a few portfolios out here, he was recruited by the renowned fashion, designer Orochimaru and it’s in his circles where he met A-List fashion model, Kimimaro. They are now engaged.

- Karin: She is now a bass and guitar instructor at the most prestigious music Academy in Konoha. The breakup was tougher on her for many reasons but the fact that Sasuke started dating and is now married to the professional wrestler and fitness influencer Sakura Haruno played a huge role in it at the time but she’s now comfortable with their relationship, and she became the godmother of his daughter.

All these things happening at the same time made the disbandment a little smoother to digest for them but was a huge shock for their fans.

Sasuke is now a model operating under Orochimaru. His handsome looks, talent, and father’s connections allowed him to make a name for himself. He keeps lending juicy contracts left and right. For some reason, he has regained pride in his family name and wears it publicly. Despite his efforts, he is back to being the Young brother in his parents’ eyes, but he doesn’t care anymore. Him and Itachi are 2 distinct entities at this point and get rarely mentioned together in most professional settings.

Sasuke is now busy and married with a daughter named Sarada. He can’t let these ideas get to him since he has a relatively good public image and enjoys his privacy (he doesn’t share too much about himself or his family with the public). He has blatant rudeness towards paparazzi, interviewers, and anyone talking to him. Pretty privilege allows him to be labeled as an introvert and keep it pushing.

next part

[goblinsofdiscord]

Enneagram Explained 😇 The Virtues & Vices 🙏 (Golden Shadow) 🥹 Learn the Enneagram

Written by Larissa

The video has more off-the-cuff elaborations than is written below if you also prefer or like watching/listening.

we’re doing our type wrong

We’re trying to achieve our type’s “virtue” backwards - by doing our “sin” via the behaviour of our “fixation.” Our “virtue” feels *dangerous* to us (personality trap). 

You might say: “What do you mean I can just be __(virtue)__?”

Our personality/ego creates a tangled web, hoops to jump through, beliefs, blocks, imaginary threats. And that obstacle course is our “fixation.” This is how we do our sin (in order to achieve our “virtue”). Confused yet?

Our ego/type tells us that if we do our “fixation” we will achieve the “virtue.” But it doesn’t work that way. You have to let go of the fixation in order to achieve the virtue.

This is what is known as the Personality Trap. It’s the LIE that keeps the pattern running. It’s the belief that we have to be a certain way to exist. It’s the carrot on the end of the stick that we can never reach. (See more on Personality Traps here).

Obviously it doesn’t work! And the more we try and achieve that “Virtue” (the wrong way) the more we dig into our Personality Trap/Fixation and act out our Vice/Sin.

It’s an elaborate illusion that prevents us from JUST BEING.

TYPE ONE

Type 1 is trying to achieve “serenity” via “anger” - being overly critical, judgmental, perfectionistic, hunting out what’s bad, wrong, inefficient, unacceptable. By perfecting, judging and correcting they will finally be able to be “serene.”

They seek serenity and release from their ego’s death grip by *fixing* things, others, themselves.

But 1's can *just be*: perfect, free of judgment, good, right, acceptable, efficient, whole by just allowing what is without taking a red pen to it.

This need to achieve serenity is expressed outwardly as anger. 

TYPE TWO

Type 2 is trying to achieve “humility” via “pride” - being overly nurturing, flattering, giving, self-sacrificing, other-oriented and even intrusive in the pursuit of being indispensable and necessary. 

They seek humility and release from their ego’s death grip by fixating on others’ needs and neglecting their own, and becoming needed by others. Because then it “justifies” them finally getting their needs met. (But it actually makes them appear covertly narcissistic, because they often make what other people are doing all about them.)

2's can just give themselves what they want. They don’t need to ingratiate themselves to justify getting their needs and desires met. They need to own their needs instead of getting that justification indirectly.

TYPE THREE

Type 3 is trying to achieve “truthfulness” via “deceit” - by fixating on accomplishments, achievements, their “image”, their value, how they measure up, then they will finally be able to be authentic.

They seek authenticity and release from their ego’s death grip by fixating on what will get them positive attention or will allow them to feel valued, appreciated, loved and/or admired.

But 3's can just be authentic and derive their worth and value from being true to themselves, loving themselves, and inspiring others to do the same. If they let go of the need for external validation, they become free to just be who they are and that is enough.

TYPE FOUR

Type 4 is trying to achieve “equanimity”(even-temperedness) via “envy” - by fixating on authenticity, separation, beauty, horror/darkness, “the truth” (truth of human condition/depth/beauty), then they will finally be  able to be even-tempered, calm, without ill-will or frustration.

They seek equanimity and release from their ego’s death grip by fixating on how different, unique, cursed, deep, romantic, dark, creatively separate they are. Which of course, only serves to do the opposite as they often present as melodramatic, pretentious, moody and cringe-ily “dark.”

But 4's can just be equanimous and derive that sense of “separation”, “depth” and “uniqueness” just by fully embracing that they’re part of the human miasma and their relatability will actually deepen both their experience and their expression. And dare I say, embodying abundance.

TYPE FIVE

Type 5 is trying to achieve “non-attachment” (openness, letting go) via avarice, withholding, hoarding, “objectivity”, logic, competency and specialization. Once they have that on lock, they will finally be able to withstand the intrusive, invasive nature of reality.

They seek non-attachment through means of actualizing some kind of competency concern, a specialization, insight that creates a rejection wall between themselves and the masses. By rejecting entanglements and emotional messiness, it allows them to fend off attacks, invasions, intrusions and having to be part of the proletariat.

But 5's can just be non-attached, open and let go of the fear by normalizing being  present in the human experience that they reject. 

TYPE SIX

Type 6 is trying to achieve “courage” (self-trust) via overdoing security. they do this by outsourcing their thinking to others (experts, institutions, leaders, academia, books, someone they admire, etc) and seeking agreement or support from those around them. Then finally, when they know enough and have garnered enough stability, they can “leave the nest” and confidently trust themselves.

When 6's trust themselves over others, and turn inwards first versus outwards they can build up their courage and become brave warriors and leaders. Security must be found from within, or the feeling of security in the “insecure.” Learning to pull up trust and let go of outcomes, even the worst of circumstances will enable them to become more self-assured.

TYPE SEVEN

Type 7 is trying to achieve “sobriety” (presence, focus, calm, gratitude) via “gluttony” - pursuing many interests, shiny objects, experiences, people. They’re driven by frustration like Goldilocks. They want to find the juiciest peach that will always satiate them. Then finally, they can settle down and be present.

The problem is that there is no juicy, eternal delicious peach. The 7 can only truly experience presence, appreciation, gratitude and freedom by allowing those sensations into the present moment. Appreciating the boring instead of planning the next adventure or pursuit. Staying with what is, instead of what could be. Ingratitude only attracts more frustration and disappointment. So finding the ‘green pastures’ with what they already have is key to 7's actually getting what they want, deep down.

TYPE EIGHT

Type 8 is trying to achieve “innocence” (vulnerability, openness) via “lust”. They overdo power, expansion, acquisition, and domination. Once they finally feel safe in their rejection castle, then they finally allow themselves to let the wounded, vulnerable, innocent child inside out.

It can seem like life or death to let their guard down, but 8's can only truly achieve true leader and protector status by becoming more benevolent and tapping into their innocence, tenderness, care, softness and vulnerability. They have to allow themselves to be attacked, betrayed, and exploited. They’ll find they’re pleasantly surprised by the relationships they can build when they’re not trying to control everyone and everything that might be in their field of view.

TYPE NINE

Type 9 is trying to achieve “action” (aligned and self-propelled) via “sloth”. They overdo inaction, procrastination, dissociating from what they really want, following other people’s agendas in the hopes that they will finally find the sustained motivation to do what they deeply desire and be who they truly want to be.

By putting “inner peace” and “harmony” above their own desires it creates a dissonance in themselves and resentment builds up. It’s important for 9's to locate what they desire, or take actions toward locating it by trying different things that appeal to them (regardless of if it causes short term conflict, rubs someone the wrong way, or causes them discomfort). The more they practice this, the more aligned they become to their true heart’s desires and the more aligned their actions become.

If you want to further explore the Hell of yourself join the membership. Want to get typed or coached by me? Book here.

[dnangelic]

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

biting the bullet and saying why not! i usually avoid protagonist types because i get intimidated by the amount of detail and canon i feel like i have to memorize in order to properly do them justice, same with more 'popular' charas/muses giving me more personal pressure to be a portrayal worth.... something?? respect and validity?? attention and friendship from my mutuals lmao 😭 but considering dnangel was painfully niche (despite the way everybody and their mom at least recognizes it) and about half the series was only in japanese anyways, (let's see you try to find full-length dnangel LN translations that aren't mine) AND it's been like 30 years since the series started, i figured i'd have nothing to lose if my tried my best with daisuke. dai's always basically been my first magical girl (boy-) exposure and for that i'm very grateful. i still remember how beautiful sugisaki's art was to me even while being shook that dai was falling off a cliff in vol 2. my whole life might as well have led up to this point is basically what i'm saying-

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

nothing much beyond the obvious taboos/what's in my rules. although, i don't really like if it a muse relationship doesn't go anywhere and stagnates at something like making fun of dark or daisuke nonstop. yeah they can be your funny guys, but don't suddenly ditch me or go off in an ooc post rant if that funny stuff takes an actual serious turn. i try to incorporate a lot of facets into dark and daisuke both, so i get frustrated when people solely try to force them into shallow facades of themselves. humor's great, but there's a point where people have to take daisuke and dark's feelings seriously too, or else i won't feel reciprocated, and i'll start losing respect for portrayals and muses.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

i just like writing in general really. if you write with me i really enjoy it. thank u so much💐✨. being able to take dark and daisuke out of their somewhat limited canon and put them through certain experiences or in front of certain personalities that i'd otherwise never ever get to see is very fulfilling for me, especially since the series probably won't get anymore updates in the future (holding out for an anime revival but for now i'll take the brand new 2024 drama cd.) if we're talking deepest indulgences... off the top of my head, i really like it when dark gets to be actually intimate with others without worrying over the curse or keeping any secrets for daisuke, which includes him being with even younger muses who just kind of marvel at him and look up to him be it as an older brother type figure or not. on daisuke's side of things, i'm just like sugisaki lmfao- i like it when he gets to do things and actually prove to muses that he's a) capable and unstoppable when he tries and b) actually kind of an impulsive hothead underneath all the anxiety dkjfkgjk.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

i wish i was the sort of person to spitball silly little headcanons out one after another but i'm not. most headcanons i have usually fulfill some kind of thematic or relate directly to canon; dark's skin being ice-cold and marble-smooth is all headcanon, him having fangs (sharp teeth) and claws is very very arguably headcanon, (as in, canon never comments on either or, but let it me known my dark absolutely does have these features,) all to better suit and exaggerate his role as 'the beast' and something inhuman, on the scarier and supernatural side of things. daisuke tumbling locks as a (quite telling to the perceptive) habit with his hands is headcanon, and so is his and dark's shared appreciation for fruits/sweets --- it's part of the fractured fairy-tale motif, but also the biblical, which both often have overlapping dealings and warnings in regards to sins, temptations, and pride, a la eating the apple / the gingerbread house. dark and dai are both the tempers and the ones tempted, but they're also thieves and possessive saviors; their eyes are kind but covet, their hands are cold but their smiles are warm, they clutch at and take anything that isn't theirs but often for the sole sake of keeping and protecting it. most of my headcanons end up revolving around that sort of thing.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

my surroundings are endlessly noisy so i usually have something playing. it's also why i write better at night during dead hours because it's quietest, but by then i'm usually worn out and just want to sleep 😂

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

i'm a winger. if i focus too long on quality for literally every single interaction i'd never get any replies out, but i do enjoy writing more complex/dramatic replies for mutuals whose styles better suit it. this is why my writing style shifts around between asks/responses/mutuals sometimes, although sometimes it's on purpose. dark's responses can seem far more complex and grandiose than daisuke's at times, but that's because mentally, daisuke's much younger and simpler and much more emotional/energetic. if i'm really inspired by a response but don't have the immediate time to sit and focus on a full length reply, sometimes i'll just jot down a sentence or two i want to use so i don't forget into my notes app, and it's usually smooth sailing from there.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

romantic? it's not my priority, especially since my standards are very strict. i refuse to get into a ship that feels empty because forcing something i don't actually feel for is the fastest way to kill off my muse. idc about kisses and i sure as hell don't do smut, my muse (both of them, dark included at least physically) is a minor, but if something happens naturally (which isn't at all impossible, this is daisuke i'm writing here,) then i'll roll with it and see where it goes. really it's not daisuke developing an attraction to another muse that i'm afraid of, just annoying muns or getting a negative reaction to potentially introducing any kind of narrative conflict. i like some drama. i like some figuring it out. i like depth touching depth. daisuke's entire life/series begins with him literally being rejected by his first crush on his birthday and he's part of a buy one boyfriend get one free package alongside dark; he's always got a lot to figure out. so i guess my advice is really don't ask me to ship unless you're fully prepared to understand what exactly that means with daisuke.

romance aside? i love daisuke having mentors. or rivals. or people he attaches to as a sibling or some kind, given he's a lonely single child already used to being immensely responsible. or i like seeing him being stuck in complicated situations and putting other people into complicated dilemmas because his alignments are all over the place. he works with criminal muses, law-enforcement related muses, magical-related muses, inter-dimensional related muses, art-related muses, older or younger, nobility, there's sm you can do with him, he can go just about anywhere. i enjoy this.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

tsun

ᴀɢᴇ?

💀 im getting older....

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

mar 20th

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

black, red, hey wait a minute-

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

i'll talk about for dark and daisuke specifically - dark is always those moody, weepy sounding vkei or jrock (duh) songs while daisuke gets all the cutesy, lovey-dovey, high-energy jpop music. throw in the occasional mix of the two (like metal covers of high energy pop songs) and i've got all the vibes i need. go into my audio tag and maybe then you will Understand

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

half of sonic 2 (i didn't get to finish it because it was on a plane flight ---)

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

i haven't watched any shows in FOREVER 😭

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

halyosy's snowman (the rerec ver) (thank you project sekai)

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

p...pizza....

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

fall right when it's riiiiiight before winter.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

mutuals that have stuck with me for yrs are all my best friends. mutuals that are nice to me now are also my best friends

tagged by @primordyalsoul ty sumin!!!!!!

[cheerfullycatholic]

I sent you the anon before about trips and travel! It’s nice to get different perspectives. The reason I actually did though is because I recently heard something that troubled me quite a bit and it was probably something stupid but every time I have peace idk maybe it’s just because it’s an attack and something makes me feel a certain way or trued to steal the peace but it was someone talking about how the only goal they have is to go to all these places and they don’t wanna die without seeing NY city or Alaskan northern lights and I guess if just makes me feel like the way it’s hyped up like we should be doing all of this otherwise it’s just not worth it even though my first thought was that people shouldn’t want to die without knowing God, without knowing Jesus who died for them but that’s rarely preached in these types of messages. I just don’t want to fall into that trap of forgetting what’s really important and feeling like I need to do other stuff y’know? Sorry if this is a bit all over the place but maybe you could pray or if you wanna throw in your two cents I’d love to listen

I get what you mean. Travel has become an idol to so many people, but that doesn't mean it's inherently a sin. God created this beautiful world and it's okay to want to see new places, meet new people, experience cultures other than our own, and admire the beauty of His creation. I think where a lot of people, especially some Christians, go wrong is that they want to travel without God. So many people these days will go on vacation and leave Him at home. They neglect their prayers, don't go to church, and spend so much money on frivolous things that they don't really need in order to enjoy their time away from home. Traveling can be such a fun, fulfilling experience if people would take God with them. But on the other hand, traveling also isn't necessary in order to admire God's creation, and I hate the idea that you're not living your best life if you don't travel. Wanting to visit New York or see the Northern lights in Alaska, while fun, isn't something people need to experience before they die. That kind of mindset just leads to chasing a material happiness that can never be caught because there will always be something that people they need to see before they die and it's so expensive and dangerous

[thatone-churro]

okay. i know it’s a very bad idea to seek mental health advice from the internet, especially tumblr of all places, but i have a genuine question about this.

actually, before i get too far, i guess i should add some context about myself:

i’m fairly talkative in a certain sense. i like talking. if i start talking about something i like, or if i get excited while talking, i can talk a lot. when i’m alone, i tend to talk to myself a lot. just verbalizing thoughts, mostly; talking myself through a strategy, just voicing my thoughts as i play through a video game, or sometimes just babbling as though i’m talking to someone else. this is a frequent thing and not the root of my concern.

course, sometimes i talk a little less in public or in certain social situations if i’m not “invited” to speak too (more than just being spoken to first, but that’s another explanation i don’t want to go into right now), but i’ve always been like that; something, something, i know it’s more about social anxiety or something that i know i inherited and is a different discussion for a different day.

so, every now and then i have these days where, for lack of a better description, talking feels like it takes too much energy. even that doesn’t feel like it explains it properly but. like the same struggle to get out of bed on a rough day. like somehow speaking, the act of opening my mouth and forcing words out of my throat, takes too many spoons. the same way it feels like taking a shower or brushing your teeth has too many steps despite it being a simple process when your depression’s acting up (we’ll get back to this comparison in a minute).

i can tell when these days come on before i even have to speak to someone; it feels like my words are stuck in my throat. i mean that physically; there’s not actually something in my throat, but there’s a weight of some sort.

i’ve taken to calling these days “quiet days,” since this feeling affects just about everything associated with talking; making myself talk is a struggle; i can’t even talk to myself and all those monologues and discussions happen inside my head instead, but i can’t verbalize them; i don’t want people to talk to me on these days, as in there’s a deliberate, subconscious feeling already there on those days, not that i’m not wanting to talk because of the other feelings; actively listening to and comprehending things people say is also an effort to do, and i tend to tune out my music or whatever background noise i set for myself more than usual; i’ve recently discovered that this same feeling is applied to singing, much to my dismay, because i found this out on a day i kinda wanted to sing.

it’s not that i can’t speak on these days, i can physically make myself if i have to, it just takes more conscious effort sometimes than something like speaking should.

now, i used to chalk this up to being standard nonverbal bouts. i’d heard those were common among neurodivergents, and while i’m not officially diagnosed with anything (classic “everyone does that”/“that’s just something you got from me” type childhood), a lot of symptoms for both ADHD and autism (that i’ve heard of/looked into) match up pretty sharply with me.

however, no accounts from actually autistic people that i’ve read who go nonverbal at times really match up with my experiences. for me, it’s never a response to stress, anxiety, or overstimulation; it’s just something that happens on any given day and sometimes ebbs and flows throughout the day (as in sometimes it’s easier in some parts of the day, but not others, without any particular cue), and it’s never me going absolutely nonverbal, just a preference not to speak from it feeling like it’s too much to do sometimes.

remember that comparison i made to having to speak on “quiet days” feeling like trying to do basic things on bad depression days? yeah, i noticed on a day it hit that it felt very much like that, because i did feel it earlier that day; i found trying to make myself sing or even talk to myself out loud somehow felt like a process with too many steps and i didn’t have enough energy, just like trying to get out of bed that morning (to the point that i didn’t “get up” until that afternoon).

so, all that text and explanation leads to my one question: are these bouts and “quiet days” more from “going nonverbal” as a “symptom” of autism, or simply a symptom of my depression? or can it be chalked up to anything else at all? i’ve never seen or read anything about this on either side, and if it’s something from my depression, then that’s gonna make me take it much more seriously than i have been in the past. or like, is it just me and not anything at all?

any advice appreciated 🙏

[tarabyte3]

I don't want to pressure you!! But I'm so excited for the next chapter of TDMUS 😫😫Please give us a sneak peek--or a hint about what's coming? I would appreciate it so much!!!

First, I'm SO glad you're enjoying The Devil Makes Us Sin! 💕 I'm ecstatic that people like this slow descent into corruption and debauchery. Second, you'll be pleased to know I'm over 3.5k words into the next chapter and it's all plotted out. I can't promise when it will be done, but I have been working on it! (Though perhaps not as quickly as I would like.)

So just for you Anon, here's a snippet from Chapter 4 (without final edits so it may change slightly in the final draft). Enjoy 😉😏

The next morning, you sleep in until a gloriously late hour. Just because you can. And because last night was emotionally exhausting—you're certain the wine didn't help. Even when you're no longer tired, you lie in bed, wrapped in the warmth of your blankets, and bask in the knowledge that you never have to go back to that office ever again.

Or speak to your mother.

You feel untethered, but not adrift. No, you know exactly which direction you're headed and now you have the freedom to do so.

Eventually you resume your search for a new bed on your phone as well because you start to think about how blissful this would have been on a comfortable mattress. With silk sheets. And a new nightgown. Oh, maybe something with lace. Or silk. Or, even better, something sheer that barely covers your ass.

You also think about how much David would enjoy all of those things.

You start off looking at sleepwear that leans more sensible than sexy, but as you begin to wonder what David would think of each one, you quickly find yourself clicking on more and more revealing pieces.

It's when you're looking at a see through, drapey number that comes off with only a clasp between your breasts that your phone buzzes with a new text message.

You grin because you wondered how long it would be before he reached out to you. Now you're absolutely certain he's keeping tabs on you and saw how racy your searches were getting. Part of you was doing it on purpose—baiting him until he couldn't resist any longer. Even if it gave him away.

Are you enjoying your first day of freedom?

"Immensely. I haven't even gotten out of bed yet." You feel very smug as you hit send because now you've added the thought of you in bed to his mental image of the lingerie.

Is that so? Sounds as though you're having a lovely morning.

Any other exciting plans for the day?

"Not unless you count a date with a book on my nightstand."

Depends on what kind of book.

"Well, there are two of them for me to choose from. One is a murder mystery. The other is a steamy romance novel." It's a lie. You have two art history books and an Amedeo Modigliani biography on your nightstand.

I see. Two very different types of thrilling.

"Exactly. On one hand, the murder mystery would stimulate my brain."

It takes a minute longer for you to get a response to that.

And what would the romance novel stimulate?

"My heart, David. What else?" You grin at your phone.

"Now tell me which one you would like best."

If I had to choose between the two, I would prefer the murder mystery.

"Of course you would. But I meant which of the lingerie you would like best. Because I know you were watching."

There's another pause.

All of them.

[thyandrawrites]

I noticed that even though Natsuo inherited his most of his father's facial features only softer, he still takes after his mom in terms of hair, eye color and even Quirk, so in the end Enji's disgusting eugenics experiment failed miserably. Aside from Todoroki looks, who do you think which parent each Todoroki sibling takes after the most or to what extent personality wise?

In which Rei continues to be the true number one hero in my heart /j

Anyway, that's a tough question... In my experience kids tend to absorb traits from both parents, not just one, so that's hard to say. And Rei is much less fleshed out than Enji so that makes it even harder to answer.

Touya is probably the easiest here. He internalized a lot of Enji's mindset. Particularly his ideas of strength and weakness, and his penchant for looking down on people who don't fit his standards of strength. I have a whole longer meta on this from a couple of years ago that I can dig back up if you're into "inheriting the sins of the fathers" type of discussions.

But Touya also displays a certain subtle kindness in his actions that Enji never possessed, an ability to relate to other people's struggles that makes him act nice to them. Tho he refutes the idea that he can be kind because it doesn't fit with his self-perception (which he models after his dad). He, like Enji, thinks that true strength relies on needing no help from others and excelling on his own. Enji mistook compassion and kindness for "crowd pleasing" and mocked it as something unbefitting the true strongest. After all, Enji always struggled to understand or even acknowledge other people's feelings. His vision was always more centered around his own needs, and we see Touya struggle in a similar way. When Toga calls him kind, he refutes it, rebuking that he's only doing it for personal gain. In the process, he's distancing his selfless actions from a label of "kindness" that would make him weak, and mentally filing them as exploitative instead because that fits better with his idea of who he needs to be to gain his father's respect.

Shouto is a little more complex. His ice prince persona, or Earlyroki, took after Enji's mindset in the same exact way Dabi still does. He had a smilar distaste for cooperation, and thought that the true mark of strength was excelling on his own. He struggled with this for the entire first half of the series, and only recently came to reject that in favour of adopting the idea that "it's okay to ask for help because even heroes cry" that he later submits to Izuku.

The second half of the manga shows Shouto moving away from his father's toxic masculinity mindset and modeling after Rei's idealism instead. Rei placed a lot of importance on choices and on personal responsibility, and Shouto integrates that into his definition of what a hero should be. Again, I have other posts discussing this more in depth if you wanted.

As for Fuyumi and Natsuo, they're harder to fit into a box because comparatively they get much much less screentime than their brothers. But I'm gonna try anyway. This is much more rooted in my personal readings tho, so beware

I think Fuyumi definitely takes after Rei's idealization of family. Both of them take on the roles of those suffering in silence for the sake of doing what would benefit family the most. Rei accepts the marriage because it would help the Himuras economically, and Fuyumi takes on the role of a substitute parent because it would help Natsuo and Shouto pursue their dream careers without having to worry about leaving behind their mother. I know Fuyumi is perceived as this selfish person who wants to pursue a pipe dream even if it hurts her brothers, but I find that reading to be surface level. She's not hurting them intentionally, but because she genuinely thinks she's acting in their best interest and shielding them from much worse harm. In that, she parallels Rei attempting to protect Touya by dissuading him from following in his father's footsteps because she thinks that only hurts him more. Both kinda take on this role of protectors even when no one asked them to, and often tried to enforce their idea of "protection" without understanding why it would cross boundaries.

As for Natsuo, I think he alternates between modeling after Touya and Fuyumi respectively, rather than either of his parents. This is fairly common in families where the parents are either absent or uninvolved in their children's lives, btw. Kids subconsciously look at their older siblings as more "stable" role models.

So... I think that from Fuyumi he gets the urge to be protective and to shield family from harm. For example he goes along with the family dinners even if he doesn't think they'll work because they're Fuyumi's idea of how they can become happy again, and he wants to protect her wishes. That's still an urge to shield and nurture (=the same motivator as Fuyumi), and it's inherently kind and compassionate. Natsuo acts as this "guardian" a lot. Even his anger outbursts, which can appear as a sign of having inherited Enji's temper, are actually a manifestation of this desire to defend. Think of how fiercely he still guards Touya's memory against the threat of forgetting the reasons why they lost him, or perpetrating the conditions that led to his premature death. In that he models after Touya as well because he's not afraid of pushing back against his entire family to have his ideas be acknowledged. Fuyumi doesn't do that—she didn't even chase after him when he stormed out of the room during those family dinners—but Touya was constantly screaming for his points to be heard even when he failed time after time. In that light, I don't read Natsuo's temper as something that he takes after his father, but rather after Touya. When Enji's temper flares, it's usually out of wounded pride. When Touya's did, however, it was always more to shield his vulnerability with aggression, and to pose as someone with more authority and agency than he really had. Touya couldn't change his father's decisions any more than Natsuo can bring back his brother from the dead, but both scream and yell at Enji because acting imposing is the way Enji exercised his authority inside the house, and they don't want to be crushed by it. Idk if this makes much sense to you but it's how I read Natsu.

Anyway, thank you for giving me an opportunity to discuss them. I think they're very nuanced and I could probably write entire essays dissecting them. This reply won't do them justice but at least I tried to keep it short lol

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Helluva Boss Theory: Blitz's Exes Are Equal To Blame For The Break-Ups...Part 1

[Note: Don't Reblog This Without Permission...also if you are a fan of Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel, make sure to watch Season 2 Episode 9 of Helluva Boss first before reading this...also reading this theory is optional. oh, and yeah this is for Mature Audiences Readers only...]

I had wrote so much in the original version of this theory...but then I ended up losing it, because computer was acting a certain way...

I'm not in a good mood because of it to be honest...

so all I can try to say is that Blitzo isn't the only one to blame for the bad break-ups, and Stolas, Verosika and any other Exes or one night-stands that he had, shouldn't place the full blame on Blitzo...

also Stolas can't just assume that Blitz would choose to save him over having to be there for his daughter Loona at the hospital in the Sloth Ring, and if Stolas was in his shoes he would of done the same dang thing and chose Octavia over Blitz if Blitz was held hostage by Crimson again...

I do believe that in theory, Blitz might of had his first royal heartbreak from a royal ex that was before his affair with Stolas...

and I suspect it might of been Stella's brother Andrealphus...

I think maybe I will wait until another time maybe either tomorrow or in a few days to talk more about this theory...I'm still not happy with losing all what I wrote that had to do with the theory and well...it was freaking tiring and so frustrating...

this wasn't originally going to be broken into two parts, I mean I do plan to write part 2 about that Hazbin Hotel theory that has to do with Lilith and the reason why she got into Heaven is because she placed the worse parts of herself as well as the sins she had done in her life, into type of host vessels and those vessels are Vox, Valentino and Alastor...

I will wait maybe either tomorrow or in a few days to make part 2 of that theory...and how it may have been Roo that corrupted Lilith in the Garden of Eden...

also Season 2 Episode 9, had shown so much surprises in it, as well as people that Blitz had broken the hearts of...but Blitz may not have it as easy as some might think, and it can't be easy for him to fully trust someone with his heart in a romantic way...

and well we can only hope that things do get better between him and Stolas, but it might take time before they fully work things out...

anyway I'm not feeling all that great after the whole stuff that went on with the original writing that had to do with the theory that has to do with my believing that Blitzo isn't the only one at fault for why things ended so badly with him and his exes...

and it's fine if the theory about Andrealphus being one of his exes and who had really hurt him with heartbreak and gave him the view that royals will never love those like him...gets debunked.

I need to relax and maybe when I feel a bit more better, I can talk more about this theory in a part 2...which once again, this wasn't originally going to be broken into two parts, but because of what happen to the original thing I wrote that has to do with this theory...I really don't feel like going too deep or feel like talking more about this theory right now...I will wait until later either tomorrow or in a few days or maybe next month to talk about the theory that has to do with Blitz not being the only one at fault for the bad heartbreak, and his exes are just scapegoating...

[venomised]

Okay listen to me,

The ministry lays deep within the woods and is almost impossible to find. It gets protected by a powerful spell so that only some people can find it.

Even the part of the woods where its in is protected. Non chosen people just see a field, chosen people see dark almost threatening trees.

These people get two choices, either they can leave this part of the woods and never find it again or they will become siblings of sin serving the dark lord until their human lives end and what comes after that.

If they choose to leave their lives will continue like before, the memory of finding it will vanish, the choice if they will become an angel, demom or ghost will happen after their death.

If they choose to become a sibling of sin small invisible demons will fly into their home packing their things. Soon after the family will report the Person missing.

The sibling is not allowed to leave the ministry until the police will report the finding of the Persons body (don't worry its only an illusion, the person isn't actually dead).

If the Person enters the forest theres a sign saying "God ends" if the sibling walks out theres a sign saying "God continues" it used to be in italien but they changed it so people who don't speak italien can understand it.

When a sibling dies, they either will become a ghost or a demon.

How are heaven and hell?

People think that heaven is this wonderful and special place where its peaceful and everyone is happy. But no.

It's actually the complete opposite, everyone is the same its filled with striced rules, everyone gets controlled. Angels actually hunt demons saying they need to elemante the "evil".

We get taught that if you go to hell you will burn and will suffer for all eternity.

Which isn't true. Only the bad people will get punished (bullies, rapists sometimes killers). Hell is a place of diversity where you can live out your sexuality (without anyone getting hurt of course) and not get punished for being yourself.

Problem is, ever so often angels attack certain areas of hell. Want to know why? God doesen't want people to know that demons are mostly harmless (unless they are hungry of course).

What happens when the band ghouls leave the band?

Most of the time ghouls don't get send back after retirering.

Most of the time retired band ghouls get a job that non band ghouls have.

Ether ghouls will get a job at the infarmery

Earth ghouls take care of the fields and farm animals (siblings and ghouls rarely leave the ministery unless they are band ghouls and so on).

Fire Ghouls help in the kitchen as cooks

Air ghouls get a cleaning job except if they have a dissabelity of course (zephyr often chills in den Band ghoul den)

Water ghouls also get a cleaning job sometimes being pool boys/pool girl or as a plumper (someone needs to do it)

Multi Ghouls mostly get Jobs as craftsmen craftswomen.

There are three types of ghoul dens

For the normal ghouls, for the retired band ghouls and for the band ghouls

The normal ghoul den is less cozy and luxurious then the one for the retired band ghouls and band ghouls

The rooms are a smaller and the beds are made of less fancy woods and the sheets aren't made of silk. The living room has a medium sized sofas and TV. The kitchen is also smaller

The den for the retired ghouls is more fancy, the rooms are about the same size and their get to keep the beds. The livingroom for the retired ghouls isn't as cozy looking as the one for the band ghouls, the Walls aren't dark and they don't have a fire place. The Kitchen is larger but not as fancy looking.

Now the den for the band ghouls is pure luxury. The rooms have the finest carpets and the bed sheets are made of silk (even though the ghouls use basic sheets instead of the fancy ones because cum etc.), the bed frame are made out of the finest black oak wood, the bathrooms look like the ones that only the richest people would use. Do I even need to talk about the living room? The couch is made of the softest velvet, the TV is large and they have a fire place underneath it. A god damn fire place that looks like its straight ripped out of a fairytale scastle. And the kitchen is really big and the table is made out of marble. (I hope I made you jealous.)

How does the Emeritus Bloodline work?

Well you see, Nihil married into the bloodline, so that means Sister actually carries it.

If any one of the papas becomes a father and the kid or one of the kids will take on the role as Sister Imperator.

If none of the papas will well be a papa or they won't have a daughter or daughters, another girl who isn't sisters granddaughter from the Emeritus bloodlind (most likely a niece from imperator yes I headcanon that she has siblings) will take on the role as imperator.

Believe it or not prime movers aren't only for the papas, Seestor chose marriage instead of having a prime mover (and yes she deeply regrets that choice). The women in the bloodline will begin sister "training" at the age of seven, which basically means what you need to do and what their responsibilities are as sister imperator.

Believe it or not being Papa is bellow being sister imperator, being papa only lasts 41 years max. While being sister imperator will last from their 18th year until they die. So someone could be sister imperator from 18 until 100. Yeah. Being THE sister is a huge responsibilitie.

The ministery is hundrets of years old. It began somewhere in the dark ages, being founded by the dark lord himself. The Emeritus bloodline are all part demon for some reason the demon part didn't wash away throughout the years.

Women can actually reach the rangs that men can reach in church.

For a man to become Papa (and yes being Mama Emeritus is also possible) the sister actually doesent have to marry you. You could "just" be her partner, even though when you choose this path theres more paper work.

(I forgot to add something Lilith and Satan founded the ministery just so you know)

Not only the dark Lord is worshipped but also Lilith (if you don't know who she is, she was Adams first wife and she was made out of the same Material as him. But she got banished for having her own will.)

In the ministery there is no diffrence between men and women both of them are treated equaly (except for the leader part etc.).

There are no things like sacrafising goats, virgins, killing people for rituals etc.

But there is some baging with eachother its a sinful church afterall. (But theres no sex rituals with minors or rape or something like that)

The minimum age of siblings who run into the church is 18. But the youngest chosen one was 16.

The kids who are born in the ministery get trained to be a sibling at the age of 6. (Yes there is a school in the ministery.)

And yes there are nurses, doctors etc. And yes abortion is allowed and seen as healthcare (how its supposed to be!) until the 20th week.

And yes theres also an orphanage, they actually want the kids to have a pretty normal life.

(okay I'm getting lazy now. More maybe edit later)

[horce-divorce]

I keep flirting w the idea of resin and going back to "I wanna make dice" but no. just. no no no. I do want to make dice but It's not happening. Every time I start to think about it again I see some humbling shit about microplastics and suddenly desperately want to repent my sins and never touch plastic again.

I will use the rest of the resin jugs I have now and then I Might sometimes use UV resin as an accent on other artwork, or occasionally cast specific pieces. but I'm retiring the whole idea of Being A Resin Artist. It's cool and fun and I can't fucking keep doing it.

anytime I have to throw away something that didn't turn out, any time I have to use the Dremel or sand down the edges of a new piece, it makes me absolutely sick to my soul what I'm doing. Like I actually honest to god cannot live with myself as a fucking plastics manufacturer. I can't do it. I live on the shores of Lake Michigan and every time I rinse off a sanded down piece of resin im literally dumping plastic directly into that lake. That's disgusting. That goes against everything I've ever fucking believed since I was a tiny little child.

I still can't bring myself to call art resin "evil" on par with industrial plastics manufacturers, but every day I look at how many things around me are already made of plastic and aren't broken down yet- packaging. the handles on brushes. the handles on drawers. phone cases. shoes, tires, clothing- and I think about how much microplastic is already in our fucking bodies, and in the bodies of newborn babies, and in the bodies of fish in the sea, and in the rain. and then I think about how much more is out there waiting to break down, and I wonder, is the plastic in the ecosystem now just the tip of the iceberg? Even if we stopped using plastic globally tomorrow, how much more is still out there, in storage, unused in the basements and closets of our homes-- or currently in use!!-- patiently waiting to turn into microplastics hundreds of years down the line?

and then I look at the shit I'm making with resin and sure it's cool. it's very nice stuff. but absolutely none of it was fucking worth contributing to that. None of it. Not for a moment.

Yes, there are certain types of art you can only make with resin. It has a really cool effect on anything you put into it. It's super useful as a sealant. And for some things, plastic is the ONLY substance we can use for that item. Some things NEED that kind of packaging- notably medical supplies- but there's plenty of certain artwork you couldn't make without plastic, too. I hate the idea of a world without sopopomo's resin sculptures. Like, this is some of the coolest shit known to man, LOOK AT IT??? Im also a fan of those big log-resin tables, and like, those surf boards like rusted indigo does. I wouldn't dream of asking artists like this to stop using this medium, especially when they've clearly mastered it.

But your choice of material does end up saying something in the end. Thinking about the source of your materials and inspiration is part of the artistic process, but I really don't see any other resin artists talking about this... (Probably bc they stopped being resin artists if they felt this way, ig?) I mean I've seen some talk about the health hazards for YOU, because resin is also a freaky scary substance to fuck up with and it can burn your skin and give you lung issues and shit, in addition to being THE most harshly unforgiving art medium I've ever encountered.

But it kinda makes me feel insane? To be the only one wondering about this? Like the art you can make with resin is so beautiful, but it comes at SUCH a steep and ugly cost- and not just to your own health but to the environment and people and animals directly around you (you really need to have proper ventilation and full PPE to work with resin. and even cured resin, though nontoxic, can hurt you. Ever gotten a paper cut from freshly-cast plastic? It fucking SUCKS).

And it's so contradictory to me?? bc so many resin artists market themselves as like these witchy, down to earth, inspired-by-nature type of people, who are selling art to the same crowd. Myself included! There is enormous irony in saying "I love nature :)" and then encasing it in a vacuum sealed toxic plastic tomb. This was not lost on me personally, but I seem to be the only one who wants to like. Talk about it. Or address it as part of my artists statement, even. I feel crazy for it!!!! :/ I'm literally not even saying we should stop using resin as an art medium. I am licherally about to go pour some lmfao. I'm just asking like. What does it say about you as an artist-- what statement are you making with your art-- if that contradiction itself is the very approach? I don't know. I don't have an answer to that question and personally that makes me wanna back off, that's all I'm saying.

Like it's not really a moral judgement on other resin artists. I'm not saying all resin artists should want to quit. I know that EVEN COMBINED, all the individual resin artists in the world couldnt produce more trash than Nestle if we tried. this is about me, not about you.

It's just, after my friends supported me SO much in opening my Etsy shop, there's understandably a lot of questions about why I stopped posting/listing shit. it was admittedly going very well.

I just dont feel good about helping Nestle produce more trash lmfao! I don't think they need my help!

Cus again, who's paying the true cost at the end of the day? It's not just the monetary cost of the resin. If we're paying for Nestles & cos pollution, who's paying for mine? My lungs? My family's lungs? My cats, if they were to ever be exposed or get hurt on resin scraps? The wild animals and plants of this place I claim to love so much, who are just swallowing my garbage whole??

Like nobody else has to consider that if they don't want to. But that stuff matters to me. And it's worth so much more to me than a bunch of plastic keychains and shit that won't even sell for enough to buy me a week's worth of groceries.

Cus I see all the trash *I* manage to produce, as just one guy. then I think about, what about all the unused, unsecured resin in the world from people who didn't research proper disposal? From corporate manufactures who didn't care about regulations? What about all the uncured liquid components that never got disposed of properly! What about when wildlife inevitably gets into all that shit someday?

I walk along the beach and I pick up discarded scraps of plastic and broken beach toys in my spare time. and these days I think, "in 50 to 100 years this is exactly where all my lovingly crafted hard work will end up. with someone just like me picking up the pieces of trash on the beach." that's actually why I called my Etsy shop Rats Trash Stash. It was cheeky, and more about my skill level with resin than anything else, but the more I thought about it, the more it was eerily on the nose.

so anyway. y'all aren't my Instagram followers so you don't even know what I'm talking about and this means nothing to you lmfao... but it kinda sucks that resin as an art form kind of only became so widely available in the same breath as "we need to drastically reduce our plastics consumption."

Maybe in a world where every single thing isn't manufactured in the cheapest most toxic possible way, maybe in a world where corporations were forced to take responsibility for their garbage- maybe in that world, plastic has a small enough impact overall that it wouldn't tear me up like this to do resin art. but we don't live there. and I can't keep doing this shit, I'm literally losing sleep over it.

Anyway I'm writing all this bc in order to finish using said resin I have to go pour some. And it's just turned into this whole Thing now every time I get an idea I wanna pour, I have a whole ethical dilemma to work thru first before I can bring myself to mix a batch. So this is me attempting psyching myself up to go do that lmfao. 💀 I have a journal to finish.

But on that note, Ive actually super enjoyed making the journals and it's inspired me to get back into papermaking and bookbinding, so I think maybe I'll keep doing journals even after I put away the resin for good. We'll see. I dislike the idea of giving up resin tbh but the alternative seems much much worse.

[crusherthedoctor]

3, 5, 6, 13

Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

No. I would only unfollow someone if they're being extremely unreasonable, and their asshole behaviour is escalating.

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

*looks over at Sonamy*

I was always indifferent to it, but the sheer spectacle made over it has made me beyond sick of it. In fanworks, Sonic is often made OoC for the sake of the ship, or his side of the matter in general is an afterthought at best, because it's said that Amy deserves his love because "she's earned it". They'll waste valuable question time on the Twitter Takeovers over Sonamy stuff. If Sonic and Amy are onscreen together for even a moment, no matter what it is they're actually doing, everyone will hail it as proof of Sonamy. And of course, they'll go crazy when they actually do tease it, using it to shut everyone else up because "Sonamy is Canon, deal with it", even if that teasing is incredibly minor and fated to never go anywhere.

It's a weird feeling looking at all the Sonamy VS Sonally wars over the decades, and not giving a solitary fuck about either of them. And yes, this was already the case long before a certain cardinal sin was initiated on my end. *coughs over horse noises in the background*

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

Can't think of any.

Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

Sonic: I'm sick of people going one extreme or the other with him. He's not Mr. Principles, nor is he completely selfish to the point of only helping others for his own enjoyment. And I especially dislike when fans misinterpret his role in Black Knight and use it to claim that he's a full on anti-hero. No, he's a legit hero and good person who just so happens to enjoy what he does rather than adopting the usual superhero mantra, and has to make the occasional tough decision for the good of the long run for everyone. What's hard to get about that?

Tails: "I'm wildly inconsistent" does not count as fixing him. Neither does repeating the exact thing that Forces!Tails got slack for to an even more inexcusable extent.

Knuckles: The idea that he tries to see the good in people despite his standoffish nature is fascinating to me, and it's a shame that it's only been brought up for the sake of making him look stupid when he falls for another one of Eggman's tricks. It'd be nice if this got delved into more, in a way where it doesn't screw him over for once… Just don't turn him into Principles the Echidna.

Amy: Like @colony-drop-program, I recognize the… importance(?) of Amy's crush on Sonic, but I find all her other traits infinitely more intriguing.

I also wish people would remember Tails was the one who actually blasted his way through Prison Island. It's become common for fans to give Amy all the credit for that one.

Bean and Bark: Not that I'm super invested in them or anything, but I suppose it'd be nice if they got more opportunities to be the good guys they were intended to be rather than always being pigeonholed with Fang as the Hooligans thanks to Archie. Fang strikes me as a loner type anyway.

Shadow: I don't think I'll ever be on-board with him officially joining G.U.N. I'm fine with him forgiving them, and maybe having a connection of some sort with them afterward, but being a full-on agent himself? I dunno man. After his long life as Gerald and Black Doom's tool, I'd rather he carve out a future where he can be truly free, without needing to answer to any superior.

Rouge: She's not a villain. She's not a villain. She's not a villain. She's. Not. A. Villain.

The entire point of her role in SA2 is that, oh shit, she was only pretending to be on the bad guys' side, and ever since SA2, she's been a loyal ally to Shadow and helped out the other heroes with little hesitance on multiple occasions. She may be a jewel thief, she may have her rivalry with Knuckles, but she's proven time and time again that she's a far better person than most people and comic writers give her credit for.

Cream: I've seen some Amy fans hate on her for supposedly stealing some of Amy's traits, but that's a disservice to her. You can have more than one character in a franchise with similar traits, since they can be explored from different angles. Compare this to a character like Eggman Nega, who really is nothing more than a leech who requires the real Eggman to be split in half in order to seem more impressive.

Silver: Of the many reasons why I'm not interested in him, one is that his schtick gets old very quickly. There's always something to turn his future into yet another Bad Future, and after a while it becomes comical how often his efforts to avert one catastrophe and make a Good Future get revoked by the following catastrophe. Combine that with how he has actual friends in the present, and he might as well just stay in the present full-time and kill two birds with one stone… but then fans would complain about him losing something special to him. Cue frustration.

Also, fans can insist all they want that Silver trusting Mephiles was due to sheer desperation, but until they release the Snyder Cut of '06 where this is actually shown, it's nothing more than a headcanon. You can explain writing fumbles with headcanons, but you can't defend them with headcanons.

Elise: She's not a bad character. Underdeveloped, yes, but the hate she receives is largely exaggerated.

Marine: Her accent annoys me far less than Bunnie's. *mic drop*

Eggman: This notion that he needs to be softened up in order to be fleshed out is ironically a shallow one. He was fine the way he was. There's more than one way to expand on a villain.

Also, he shouldn't be underestimated just because he's a human instead of a god, a demon, an alien, etc. Bowser is an overgrown turtle who can breathe fire when all is said and done, and he still came close to conquering the universe on two occasions. If Bowser can do great things, so can Eggman.

Metal Sonic: It's possible to explore his identity crisis without making him turn traitor. If anything, him staying devoted to the guy who is the real Sonic's arch-nemesis adds an extra compelling layer to his insanity.

Lyric: I actually like his design? Yeah, he's still a crap villain and another one to throw onto the Fucks Eggman Over pile, but his design is at least more interesting than Mephiles the Druggie and Dark "Waiter, There's An Eyeball In My Taco" Gaia.

Infinite: Even if he was meant to be played completely seriously, and the idea of him being parodic to at least some degree isn't actually true, he's still a better maybe-parody of tryhard villains than either Scourge or Surge.

Sage: While Eggman using her for his own ends is preferable to him genuinely caring for her, the mere idea and circumstances of her character is something I'm very opposed to. I just don't like anything that could even vaguely be fitted into the role of Eggman's Bowser Jr, because no matter how it's presented in canon, fans will reduce Eggman to little more than Sage's father regardless. And I'm forced to see a shitton of "wholesome" family bonding regardless.

It doesn't help that beyond her relationship with Eggman, she doesn't have a whole lot of character anyway. The Heavies had more character in Mania, and they had no dialogue whatsoever. Black Doom arguably had more character, because at least with him, I can remember that he doesn't know what lightning is.

The Egg Bosses: They don't work. There is no reason why Eggman would forgo his robots in favor of anthros who, despite his ways of keeping them under his control, still talk back at him, something that the doctor has consistently been known to hate. Eggman having one organic right-hand as the Lefou to his Gaston is fine (like Starline or Agent Stone), but anything more than that just feels wrong IMO.

Tangle: Out of all the IDW-exclusive characters bar pre-Flynned Starline, Tangle is the one I'd be willing to give a chance if she were in something where her characterization wasn't exaggerated to the point of having room temperature IQ. I like the basic concept going on with Tangle, with her being well-intentioned but just a tad overeager for her own good, so I feel kinda sorry for how hard she got flanderized. Compare that to many other characters exclusive to this comic, who I instead wish would just fuck off and never return.

Starline: YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE. IT WAS SAID YOU'D SIMP FOR THE DOCTOR, NOT USURP HIM. CAST ASIDE THIS TIRED CLICHE, NOT FOLLOW IT TO THE LETTER. *cries like Ewan McGregor*

Surge: If a character has been shoved in my face relentlessly as the central focus of a character study for over a year, yet I feel as though I know nothing about who they really are by the time it's concluded, I'm gonna say that character might not be very good.

Mario: I cheered when he appeared at the end of the second movie, but why Chris Pratt?