#cello and bass parts

[starswallowingsea]

okay enstars instruments headcanons (this is not all of the characters just ones i felt like doing)

eichi: plays low-effort percussion. tried flute once and could not keep up with it. unfortunate truly. plays a mean xylophone on his good days though.

wataru: probably has basic knowledge in like. every instrument but specializes in flute because he can mimic his pigeons with it. bonus points that eichi loves it.

tori: wants so so bad to play flute but got stuck with the clarinet

yuzuru: learned clarinet so he could help tori, but i think it would be fun if he also did jazz clarinet in his spare time

subaru: this boy plays trumpet and is so annoying about it gdbless

mao: he's in bband right he plays guitar? probably also learned piano or something at some point but its very rusty

makoto: this guy really goes ham on the keyboard BUT cannot for the life of him play a normal piano

chiaki: touched a guitar once and the string broke and he has never been the same since

kanata: plays exclusively smooth jazz on a soprano sax

hiiro: one man band type of guy. little bit of everything going on there

aira: got jealous of hiiro being able to play instruments really well so soon after picking them up so he was determined to get better than him in one specific instrument and it was absolutely not one that he could handle (tuba/baritone) (hiiro has to help him with the sousaphone once and aira decides to just stick with baritone)

hiyori: flute and is one of those people who can beat-box with it

jun: puts up with hiyori's flute beat-boxing

shu: violin + viola and will get angry at you if you dont know the difference

mika: picked up violin because of shu but has a completely different style to him. also can fiddle like nobody's business

rinne: trumpet, sax, trombone, anything jazzy. probably recorded some of their backing tracks himself in their early days

himeru: classically trained on piano but never shows it off until rinne begs him to one day bc he overheard meru tapping away when he thought nobody was around

kaoru: was not playing that guitar in sustain memories we know this. koga does not let him near his guitars ever at all the one in sustain memories was on loan and at least two strings snapped on him. would love to have him learn like clarinet or something and incorporate that into their music because i think it would be neat

mitsuru: any wind instrument that lets him do those long runs of sixteenth notes. never gets his fingers tangled while doing them

keito: probably learned shamisen at some point but its like his temple duties and got put on the back burner

kuro: tenor saxophone

leo: also dabbles in a little of everything but is best on piano

izumi: flute or clarinet, but not both. flute because it matches the ethereal aesthetic and clarinet because it has a fuller sound

sora: he's the conductor of the es orchestra actually

[mudkippies]

the silliesss

Mizi and Sua having soft/happy expressions whils Ivan and Till both look scared....... what could this mean

[edge-oftheworld]

help i'm listening to an orchestral arrangement of holiday by green day and i can't deal with it

[sleepinginmygrave]

vivaldi has been stuck in my head for 5h now (literally)

[autistic-autumn]

I live in your askbox now >:)

Get alto clef'd 𝄡𝄡𝄡

Too much alto clef hate, not enough tenor clef hate. Truly a disastrous world.

[say-duhnelle]

do you want the scientific reason why what you've created here will be worse (sections that are split up being less able to hear each other and blend, possibly to the point of phasing issues) or is this about the armed turret joke to you

Hey can someone help me go back and time and ask who's fucking bright idea was it to stick all the bass and other low register instruments completely on the right fucking side of the theater with zero compensation on the other? RIP to the people on the left side I guess, fucking ridiculous here please enjoy my proposed solution

FUCK YEAH WAY BETTER

[morimess]

i keep seeing songs on TT that remind me of Linebeck...and I don't...really know how to feel about it.

[sizzlyybacon]

trey's backpack part 2

he crouches to put his music folder in his backpack and sees that his papers and everything else is fingered through and open. somehow he just shrugs it off, closes it, and puts it on. i'm panicking because he's giving me the side eye while setting the percussion instruments back up. austin, the percussionist to the far left of me, previously to the left of soi is giving me the "uh oh.." smile and euan is smirking and laughing. my friends are giving me terrified looks. eventually trey and the other percussionists leave and i let out a big sigh of relief. i stand up because mr. van bebber is instructing us to play and that's when i notice every drum they touched is completely soaked. what the actual hell.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

🎶🎻 let's see if this actually helps me find this later

WIBTA for marking up my friend's sheet music?

ok so I (15m) have a friend (17f) and we both play cello in the classical music ensemble at our school. we have both been playing cello for approx 7 years. we had very different musical upbringings: she learned to play cello in a class with a bunch of other kids, and from what I gather there were many other instruments and the teacher took kind of a hands-off approach, which is typical for the kind of elementary school she went to. I, on the other hand, learned through private lessons (which I don't think I'm better for, it's just different) and my teacher (who I still take piano and cello lessons from) is a little bit obsessive when it comes to correct technique and stuff. I care a little less about technique than my teacher, but I definitely developed quite a few of her habits: I always pay really close attention to what the sheet music tells me, especially dynamics and which direction my bow needs to go in, or how many notes I'm playing in a bow stroke. part of this is because that's what the composer would have wanted and also because when I started my teacher would make me mark everything, and I mean EVERYTHING in my sheet music. we're talking fingerings, bow markings, highlighting every chreschendo and decrescendo, putting the counting in for all of the rhythms and more. now I typically only mark super important things, like if I keep forgetting a note or something, and I rarely mark my cello sheet music in ensembles, though everyone has seen me mark my bass music, since I'm new to bass.

Recently, since it's about 2/3rds of the way through the school year and we have a good group, my ensemble has been playing more challenging stuff. the parts or more intricately layered and dynamics are a pretty big thing, especially for the cello section, since we basically have one line for half of a piece which is just to play some half notes that crescendo and decrescendo over and over. and it's like, all we do, like it's a pretty big part of the song. the issue is that my friend just kind of ignores the dynamic markings and bowings in the music and what the other cellists are doing (there's three of us, including me and her and she sits in between us) so she just kinda plays the piece at the same volume. the whole time. and it's written right there. and she's heard me play it solo without the ensemble before, so in theory she knows how to do it. and after seven years of playing the cello, you should have the bow control to play quietly.

now, this wouldn't annoy me so much if her ignorance wasn't a recurring thing. last year, we played aquarius with the jazz ensemble and we both really liked the piece. except we had this one part. we had to play a bunch of tied whole notes in the beginning. just two in a row and then we'd change bows. (if you don't play an instrument, a tied note is basically when the note is played over two measures, in this case we would play the same note fore eight beats, and then reverse the direction of our bow) now, I can hold my bow in one direction for eight beats. it's not fun or easy and I'd rather play a melody or bass line to begin with, but if you're playing quietly (like we were supposed to be) you can maintain a pretty steady pace for eight beats in one bow. my friend NEVER did this. she would just run her bow back and forth on the note until we moved on to the next and then do the same there. and I'm talking like she'd play maybe ten notes while we played one. which, obviously, through off the rhythm. we weren't as close last year and I didn't know she'd been playing as long as she had, so I ignored it. but, she kept doing it and she still does. I've confronted her about it multiple times, saying how it's like if you breathed half way through a note on a wind instrument, how it messes us up because her bow will go in a different direction than the other cellos and hit me in the elbow a lot, and how it makes us look weirdly messy. every time she just kind of says okay and walks off.

now, I think my friend could benefit from having her sheet music marked like my teacher used to make me, because clearly just mentioning it to her is not enough and as we move on to harder music it's making us look worse. so, wibta if I brought some extra pens and highlighters and reminded her to circle or highlight different dynamic, rhythmic and bowing notations if she doesn't play them the first few times?

What are these acronyms?

[pillow-ghost-nan]

VERY LONG wolfstar fic rec list PART 1

I spend way too much time reading fanfictions and wolfstar is the love of my life so yeah. Also most of these are E and M rated cause I just love my smut

PART 2

PART 3

Please let me know if any link needs fixing or if there are any mistakes. Enjoy!

Multi-chapter:

Led by Light of a Star Sweetly Gleaming by wolfpants

Rating: E, 53k words Remus Lupin is a student and temporary sales assistant at Oxford's finest department store when a mysterious, handsome young man by the name of Sirius Black enters his life and introduces him to a world of sprawling country estates, parties, and London's underground bar scene. A 1960s Wolfstar AU with lots of music, smoking, fine interiors, and, of course, romance.

Of Cinema and Sticky Notes by bluepeony

Rating: E, 12k words Remus Lupin is the office bore. Sirius Black is the office sweetheart. They fancy each other, on a purely aesthetic level.

The Road to Sweetwater by EuripidesTrousers

Rating: E, 57k words “Well. They don't call me Mad Sirius Black for nothing”, Black drawls lazily, “Speaking of drinks - you got any whiskey in your pack there or just old biscuits? Caught me talking politics and now my throat's awful dry.” Remus lifts his brow incredulously, disbelief creeping into his voice, “You must think I got a real short memory thinking you're owed a drink after that show back there. You clean forget you're at my mercy, and then go trying to steal my horse-” “Not in the habit of letting a man put me in the dirt without buying me a drink”, Black drawls, his grin turning sly, “Or maybe you got something else that'll make defeat a mite easier to swallow.” Sirius Black is wanted by the law in the state of Wyoming and Remus Lupin, who's still deciding which side of the law a bounty hunter sits on, captures him for the price on his head. It should be simple. But there's something in the air that Fall that sets Remus' compass spinning, and nothing seems simple anymore.

Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings by Soupy_George

Rating: E, 126k words Heirs to the peerage didn’t write rock songs or play bass, they wrote poetry and learnt the cello from the age of five. Heirs to the peerage also got married and continued the family line. They certainly didn't get struck by a bolt of homosexual lightning in the middle of a grotty pub in Sheffield…. * “No doubt,” the barman said easily, handing the card back across the bar, “Just thinking it were nice tha’ posh twats have stupid names too.” He pointed to his chest, “Remus, thanks t’me daft mam.” A story about music and family, the price of fame and finding love somewhere completely unexpected.

Statten Park and Sunshine on Leith (Freedom & Whisky series) by eyra

Rating: E, 32k words He's absolutely maddening. It happens every summer: this dance, this flirting that Remus has never quite managed to get to the bottom of. Either it's a complete wind-up and Sirius is even more of an entitled bully than Remus has always thought, or it's going to end with Remus letting Sirius bend him over the storage crates behind the catering tent one year. It's one or the other. The boys spend a glorious long weekend together at Sirius's family estate in the height of summer.

The Long Way Home by HollyIvyDruzy

Rating: M, 177k words "SEEKING TWO ROOMMATES FOR HOUSE SHARE – SINGLE ROOMS AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY. FOUR BEDROOM HOUSE LOCATED ON EAST SIDE OF TOWN BY CATHEDRAL – CURRENT RESIDENTS FIRST YEARS. NO WEIRDOS PLEASE." Remus never expected to go to Westerbury University, but then he also never expected to meet force of nature Lily Evans while house-hunting, James Potter while replying to a horrendous handwritten advert, or Sirius Black once he had already decided to move in. Soon it becomes clear that even the best laid plans can be thrown out of the window when starting university living with a group of strangers. A university AU with a dash of humour, a sprinkling of angst and some pining for good measure.

Honeydew by lunchbucket

Rating: E, 40k words Healer Sirius Black feels like his life is going through the motions. He is still recovering from the tragic death of his best friends four years prior while doing his best to parent their five-year-old son. However, when a new patient's encounter with a mysterious creature leads him to contact a person from his past, his life gets shaken up into one giant beautiful mess that he isn't sure he knows how to handle. Or, That magic feeling when you find someone who can see you when you can't even see yourself.

Odi et Amo by afieryfox

Rating: E, ongoing Classics student Remus has everything figured out; his courses, his career path, his life — until a mysterious transfer student turns his whole world upside down. Remus despises Sirius Black from day one, quickly set out to beat his new academic rival in any way possible. Angry glares over text translations follow angrier words thrown at the other late at night. All too soon, hate morphs into obsession. And everyone knows what obsession leads to.

Petty (With A Prior) by lunchbucket

Rating: E, 65 words Showing up for his ‘civic duty’ is one thing, getting out of jury duty without losing his shit is another. Tack on an attorney who finds the whole fiasco hilarious, and Remus might as well be in hell. The Courthouse AU of my dreams.

Dunes and Waters by MarigoldWritesThings

Rating: E, 37k Remus is sensitive to changing tides, a part of the moon always with him, and Black is like the sea. He can smell it on him, the way his magic builds up and crackles about the fingertips. *** A werewolf, a convict, and a riddle.

Like an Accident by lurikko

Rating: E, 12k words November 1993: detective Sirius Black has a new case, and a new partner.

Black Diamonds and Moonlit Snow by iamafullyrealizedcreation

Rating: M, 66k words “A marketing manager from Wales, moved all the way to Maine, to work for a ski mountain, and you don’t even ski. Remus Lupin, you just keep becoming more and more mysterious. What other secrets do you have?” There were two paths in front of Remus, one where he flirted back with the beautiful, handsome, dangerous man in front of him, and one where he remembered that Sirius was his co-worker, and more importantly, made his living doing the one thing Remus hated most in the world. “You’ll find that beyond all that, I’m rather quite boring.” Remus said, as he settled on a decision. Sirius sat back in his chair and gave him a doubtful look, and the start of a smirk. “We’ll see.” Remus Lupin starts work at Mount Calset with the goal to bring people to the ski mountain, and has to learn to deal with "face of the mountain" famous ski racer, Sirius Black OR A story about overcoming your fears, and the type of love that makes you feel brave.

Go East by xinasvoice

Rating: E, 84k words Remus has been running for a long time. Eventually, he runs into a strange castle built by a wizard and his young apprentice. The longer he stays, the more secrets he uncovers...and the less he wants to leave. This is a novel-length adventure story that loosely follows the plot of Howl's Moving Castle. It does not require knowledge of the HMC book or movie to enjoy it.

The Horcrux Hunt by lostmy_keys

Rating: M, 143k words He is a Slytherin, a Black, and an ex-Death Eater. Of course he makes it out of the cave. Regulus sets out to destroy the Dark Lord's Horcrux with no one but a house-elf to help, until he realises his task is bigger than he alone can handle. Reluctantly he turns to the only man Voldemort fears for assistance - Dumbledore - who loans out his pet wolf for the job, much to Regulus's dismay. Together they embark on a hunt for Horcruxes - a long and arduous journey that both makes friendships and destroys them. And a few people get hurt along the way. Slowburn Wolfstar, Regulus character development, a very flirty (but platonic) Regulus and Remus friendship, and a canonically manipulative Dumbledore.

Where the Mist Falls by YumeNouveau

Rating: E, 30k words Remus loves being a deputy in the snowy mountain town of Greyback Peak. But when a crazy cult leader escapes in his woods and the FBI is called in, he's not about to just hand everything over to the stuffy know-it-all feds. That is, until he's confronted with silvery eyes, perfect cheekbones and a tailored suit that make his heart beat so loud it might start an avalanche.

Wish You Were Here by afieryfox

Rating M, 70k words Moony and Padfoot are both well-known online streamers that meet in an Among Us lobby organized by Lily. They instantly connect with their quick banter and similar interests, even with a whole ocean between them. Remus is alright with crushing on Sirius from afar. Until fans start shipping them and give them the name Wolfstar. Utterly ridiculous, of course. But why does Remus’ heart make a leap every time he thinks about it? And why, after countless hours on Discord calls, does he get the feeling that Sirius might feel the same?

Currents by lunchbucket

Rating: E, 109k words Remus Lupin and Sirius Black arrive in Sydney to compete in the Summer Olympics, both intent on making these games a better experience than the last. The two swimmers have a tumultuous history and intense rivalry, but can America’s golden boy and Great Britain’s notorious bad boy put their past behind them and find some common ground?

Where There Is Smoke by moongnome

Rating: not rated (oficially but it's actually E), 109k words "If he closed his eyes, he could have been there again, back in the cold river, water rising up to his shoulders, with a beautiful boy who wouldn’t leave him alone." It is 1865. Stuck in his house with his overbearing parents, Remus Lupin cannot shake the feeling that he's missing something. Returning from abroad after the death of his mother, Sirius Black is now the owner of a massive estate and he has the attitude to match. He has everything, including people who are determined to take everything from him. It takes seconds for Remus to know he will never hate anyone as much as he does Sirius Black.

The Homecoming of Sirius Black by lunarlivs, MissAmericanBi

Rating: E, 44k Sirius Black is burned the fuck out. From his high-pressure job, his unfulfilling love life, the concept of existence in general... you get the idea. With what used to be his life now just a smoldering pile of vaguely millennial-shaped wreckage drifting somewhere over the Manhattan skyline, Sirius leaves New York and moves home to Slytherin, Georgia—a wealthy suburb outside Atlanta—in an attempt to figure out what he is really doing in this prison of a meatsuit people call a body. Enter: a smoking hot bartender with big hands, amber eyes, and a stubbornly hardened exterior Sirius is determined to crack.* But with the passing of each month, Sirius starts to see that leaving a place doesn't mean forgetting the loss, returning to family doesn't mean coming home, and while love isn't found at the bottom of a pint glass—he may be the one pouring it.

How Remus Got His Groove Back by RealityShowJunky

Rating: M 43k words After two years of noncommittal sex: Remus tells Sirius that he loves him. Sirius firmly rejects him. Remus tries to move on. Sirius is not happy. OR Remus Lupin becomes king of the cockroaches, Fabian Prewett writes a book, Gilderoy Lockhart is a catfish, and Sirius Black realizes he's a fucking idiot.

Maybe this time is different (I really think you like me) by fiddleleafedfig

Rating: E, 73k words “Because you’re not just writing about Picasso, Sirius. Remus Lupin is a writer and an introvert, he has published a few novels that have been very well received. We want the story of it all, the family estate, his writing process, the decision to display these sketches now.” “And what on god's green earth makes me the best man for that job?” “Because you’re charming, we think he’ll like you.” * Or; The story of how Sirius Black gets a writing assignment, banters his way into the art-elite of London, and ends up falling head over heels in love.

Till We Have Arrived Home Again by prouvairing

Rating: E, 44k words Summer, 1999. Harry comes home with news. Quite a lot of news. Harry takes a deep breath. “I'm quitting the Aurors,” he starts with, which is followed by a moment of stunned silence. “What?” Sirius says. “All right," Remus says. “Do you know what else you want to do? Did you think about it?” Harry blushes, the way James used to—a rosy glow lighting up his brown skin—and says, “I wanted to—that is, I thought I might be a teacher.” Remus, quite suddenly, seems to have something in his eye. "Oh." “What?” Sirius says. “And uh—there's more. I was thinking I might like to. That is. I want to become an Animagus.”

Lines by Krethes

Rating: E, 24k words "As if feeling Sirius’s eyes on him -- and maybe he does, Remus just Knows Things sometimes -- he looks over his shoulder with eyes heavy-lidded and sleepy. “We’re far too old to be having morning sex and you know it, Padfoot,” he warns, his voice still gravely and deep from slumber." OR: DILF Wolfstar getting the happy ending they deserve. Chapters are chronological, but it's largely PWP and we're just here to have some fun.

No Expectations by thisbluepeony

Rating: M, 98k words Remus Lupin is a little-known music journalist working on a little-known music magazine. Blue Stag are his next Big Project - well, his first anyway.

Ever Thus by WrappedUp

Rating: E, 135k words “Right, well I’d say it’s about time to put an end to this nonsense, wouldn’t you?” James nodded sagely. “You’ve obviously still got some things to chat through with him, but he will talk to you about it, Remus. He thinks the world of you, you know that. But the important thing is that you do talk because nothing’s going to get sorted if you just sit cry-wanking in your room.” The world is excruciating and enthralling in equal measure. The gang try their hardest to navigate it as real, legitimate adults.

Language Lessons by MsAlexWP

Rating: E, 150k words September 1982 The war is over. Voldemort was defeated on October 31, 1981. Regulus Black discovered Voldemort’s horcruxes and informed the Order of the Phoenix, which destroyed them. When Voldemort arrived on Halloween to kill baby Harry, the Order was standing by, ready to kill him first. Almost a year later, the Marauders and their friends are rebuilding their lives. Everything is going well for Sirius Black. Everything but love. OR Sirius Black is great at sex but shit at relationships. Remus Lupin is an amazing boyfriend, but not so great at sex. Could these best friends learn from each other? Platonically, of course.

Hurling Crowbirds at Mockingbars by WrappedUp

Rating: M, 41k words “He’s coming home, James. What the hell am I meant to do with that? It’s been eight fucking years and we’re meant to... what? Just meet him at the pub? Buy him a drink like-” He shakes his head. “What will I do with my face?” James takes a sip of lemonade, taking his role as designated driver very seriously as always. He has a smudge of dirt on his nose from ‘wrestling a conifer the size of a bear’, but Sirius doesn’t think to mention it because he’s somewhat preoccupied with his own problems, which, for the avoidance of doubt, are many and insurmountable. “Your face?” “Yes, exactly! It’ll give me away the second he sees me. He’ll know right away that eight bloody years has done nothing at all to dampen it down. Dripping with hurt. As if I don’t still feel-”

One-shots:

Babysitting by A_factorygirl_69

Rating: E, 5,5k words Sirius and Teddy's excellent adventure, or why Remus is a master manipulator.

No Reckoning Made by A_factorygirl_69

Rating: E, 22k words Trying to remain friends but also wanting more while in the middle of a war is far more difficult than Remus ever imagined. Sirius certainly isn't making it easier on him either.

Secrets in the Black of night by TracingPatterns

Rating: E, 6k words It all starts when Remus is paired with Sirius fucking Black in Potions, but Remus didn’t think this was where they would end up.

Buy the Stars by wilteddaisy (taotu)

Rating: E, 23k words Sirius Black, respectable pureblood patriarch and heir to the Black family fortune, has a wife and three children at Hogwarts. Defence Against the Dark Arts professor Remus Lupin wrestles with the aging wolf inside of him. When Black offers him a hand, Remus reluctantly takes it.

Nosebleed by WrappedUp

Rating: T, 8k words “I can’t have a threesome, Lily. I do puzzles for fun. I drink Ovaltine. I have a mug that says ‘I heart spreadsheets’. And it wasn’t even a present; I went out and bought it for myself because I really do. I heart spreadsheets.”

That Old Black Magic by fallovermelikestars

Rating: M, 37k words AU in which Remus, being as he is a werewolf and all, is homeschooled til he is 16. Hogwarts is something of an experience, not least because there's this boy called Sirius Black.

illicit affairs by dykesiriusblack

Rating: E, 8k words They shouldn't. But they do.

The Power Of The Dog by Suchsmallhands

Rating: E, 71k words Sirius thought he left the Black family behind but he is forced to face them once again when charged with the death of his mother. Who do you think will be his defender?

you jump, I jump by grumposaur

Rating: M, 17k words When Remus witnesses a disturbing event walking home one night, it sends him down a twisted path of many discoveries: secret societies, macabre rituals, cloaked figures, and a dark-haired boy who proves to be the most dangerous of all.

Satellites by jennandblitz

Rating: E, 23k words Sirius Black is the guitarist for Starsign, a band on a meteoric rise to fame. One evening in Edinburgh and he finds himself face to face with Remus Lupin, gig photographer an in almost-criminally oversized punk shirt. Perhaps things aren't meant to be at first, but the universe has its ways…

After us, the flood by aryastark_valarmorghulis, bloodsuitsandtears

Rating: E, 10k words “I was hoping you might be waiting for me.” His tone is light and friendly, but Remus isn’t fooled. “I stopped for a smoke.” He wonders, though. Was he unwittingly waiting for Sirius? In the last eight years, there had been countless smoke breaks, quick trips to grab another wine bottle and rendezvous to decide James’ birthday gift that dissolved into a sloppy snog or a quickie. It didn't happen every time Sirius was back in the country, but it was close enough.

bookends by drowsyanddazed

Rating: E, 12k It’s 1995 and the only flat in London that Remus Lupin can afford is one that’s falling apart and riddled with curses. When the curse-breaker comes in to survey the place, it’s Sirius Black who shows up at his door. On Remus’ doorstep, in 1995, they go through introductions. But they knew each other in 1982, back at university, they knew each other quite well, so why are they pretending they don’t have history? He’s not quite sure what’s going on between them, what they’re doing, what this tightrope they’re walking is. He’s not sure it’s a good idea.

Love, Trust and Other Wartime Casualties by BellaBabe

Rating: M, 8k words “Full moon?” Sirius asks, realizing he doesn’t actually know. Remus looks at him oddly. “You know you were always the most attentive. James was too carefree, too unburdened and Peter too forgetful… but you, you always knew.” It’s a well placed blow and it leaves Sirius breathless. “Things change I guess.” Remus says softly. “I’m here now.” Sirius can taste the lie on his tongue. Remus hums noncommittally and pours them more tea.

Lie With Me by mblematic

Rating: M, 12k words Sirius meets Remus unexpectedly, in somebody else's body. Nobody trusts anybody.

Elucidation Practice by montparnasse

Rating: M, 21k Christmas, 1978. Remus, wrestling with the mighty problems of gift-giving on a budget, contemplates life, love, London in winter, and falling off the edge of the world with Sirius Black.

Don't Make Me Beg For You (Because I'll Beg For You) by CuriousMay

Rating: E, 14k words Sirius' head jerks round, eyes wide with shock. Remus is still speaking but all Sirius can hear now is white noise. He stares at Remus, who is carefully constructing his chicken sandwich as he talks, seemingly unaware of the conversational grenade he's just launched into the room. "What?" "You know, Rita Schaffer? She was that 4th year who had that incident with Bleatchley's Beauty Bleach in '75 just after our exams and Madam Pomfrey had to regrow all her hair-" Remus starts as he puts down the tomato but Sirius cuts him off with a sharp wave of his hand. "No, not that, you idiot. The other bit. You said - you said you're in love with me?"

Horoscopes and how they caused the Plague of Frogs by Woldy

Rating: E, 6k words This is the story of the most improbable job Remus ever had, the Chocolate Frog Plague of 1980 and, incidentally, how he first kissed Sirius.

A Series of Sketches Done in Black Ink by mustntgetmy

Rating: E, 57k words Non-magic AU. Sirius had always imagined the aftermath of falling in love would mean lightness, and an escape from all the horrors of his childhood. But the past never leaves, and even love can't stop bad memories from resurfacing. An almost year in the life of Sirius and Remus's first year as a couple replete with art and tangled sheets, and containing the following: filled sketchbook pages from people lost and people found, terrible biscuits from an excellent therapist, mismatched music records, expensive hot chocolate, a lost brother, photographs (some invasive and some invoking terrible memories), a reckoning with the past, a promise of the future, and yet another ridiculously over the top Halloween party.

Within White Space by mustntgetmy

Rating: T, 9k words Non-magic AU. Remus spends his all his lunch breaks the same way: he sits at the university cafe, orders the cheapest thing on the menu, and stares at Sirius. Getting a good long, look at Sirius (and fantasizing about said look) is all Remus expects from Sirius. But Sirius has never been one for fulfilling expectations.

Black Glass by estas_absentis

Rating: E, 4k words Remus already holds Sirius’ heart in his hands, carries it with him through the world, could crush it if he chose. Why not his mind, his self, too?

[shiraishi--kanade]

Subjectively rating everyone's instrument match ups from this official art for Sekai Symphony 2024

Without individual pictures because I'm on mobile.

Leo/need:

Ichika (electric guitar): sigh... Girl why are you like this. Unfathomable. I'll let it slide because it's Ichika. Rating: electic guitar/10.

Saki (violin): Saki does not give me violin vibes at all but I'm sure she'll kill it if she actually wanted to learn. 5/10

Honami (oboe): I'm deeply offended Honami isn't in the percussion section. 2/10

Shiho (trombone): the most non-brass player brass player known to world. I don't see how it fits her. 1/10

Overall rating: they don't get you like I do girls I'm so sorry

More More Jump:

Minori (trumpet): absolutely incredible. Yes she's a trumpet girlie. I can totally see that. 10/10

Haruka (flute): yes. Oh my god yes. She is so flute-coded she can rival only Mafuyu. 10/10

Airi (viola): very mean. Let her in the violin section. That said I can already see at least three interesting story lines connected to that. Carry on. 10/10

Shizuku (harp): need I say more? 10/10

Overall rating: they would carry the entire orchestra on their backs, 10/10

Vivid Bad Squad:

Kohane (saxophone): the mental image is hilarious and I can totally see Kohane falling in love with the sax but she gets points taken away from her because saxophone is so not a protagonist instrument. 8/10

An (double bass): ...well someone needed to be a bass player but An is not that someone. She's not even tall enough. Free her. 3/10 because at least she looks like she's having fun.

Touya (trombone): hehe funky slide go brrr. Yeah I can see that. 8/10

Akito (violin): I've told you he has violin vibes. I told you so. Absolutely perfect pick. I think Akito would be a good concertmaster as well. 10/10

Overall rating: decent picks but An was done dirty and should have been a cellist. 7/10

Wonderlands x Showtime:

Tsukasa (cymbals): my condolences to all the percussion section but also yeah that makes sense. 10/10

Nene (cello): itty bitty cellist her instrument is almost as tall as she is. I definitely see the image though. 10/10

Emu (tambourine): she will insure her part will he heard. That said I think she'd do better at the marimba or other percussion instruments. At least it's not a triangle? 7/10

Rui (viola): I did not consider that option before and now I'm considering it. I'm considering it so hard. Incredible. 9/10

Overall rating: they're thriving. 9/10

Nightcord at 25 am:

Kanade (viola): yes. Yes. I can see that. Go forth my child. Make the viola gang proud. 10/10

Mafuyu (flute): that's a flute player if I've ever seen one. 10/10

Ena (violin): oh her having the same instrument as Akito would destroy both of them and me in the process. I could write a novel about it. 10/10

Mizuki (trumpet): they're just having fun and being silly. 10/10

Overall rating: truly Sega's favourite child. 10/10

No VS rating because they have different enough personalities between units that I have no idea how to rate them! Sorry!

[bouncybongfairy]

Drive-In Date

Summary: Hunter Sylvester takes you out to the drive-in on your first date.

Hunter Sylvester x Reader

Word Count: 3k+

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

You always noticed him, I mean how could anyone not. The way Hunter carried himself was one of the things you liked most about him. The way his eyebrows always had a slight furrow to them. The way his rings would catch the light as he gripped his backpack. His eyes could get so dark, they looked black from certain angles. Of course how tall he looked compared to his locker. 

You closed your locker and grabbed your music binder and walked over to your next class: orchestra. That's where you met Emily, unlike others you find her wittiness to be more charming than aggressive. Sitting next to Emily gave you an excuse to ask subtle questions about Hunter. While she would be telling a story about band practice you would throw a question out like: Is Hunter's room big? or, What kind of snake does he have? As far as you could tell she never caught on. As you walk in you see her tuning her cello, you grab a stand and make your way over to your seat. 

"Hey," You greet her while setting up your stand. She gives you a small smile and adjusts her seat to make room for you. 

"Hello, long day?" She laughed as she watched you drop your bag off your shoulder letting it plop to the ground. 

"Kinda, more like a long week." You joke back hanging your backpack on your chair then going to grab your cello. After taking the case off you sit back down next to Emily. 

"Do you have plans with Kevin this weekend?" You ask 

"Yeah, we're going to his little brother's swim meet, we had to cancel band practice because we're going out to a film after." She said putting rosin on her bow and then handing it to you. 

"That should be fun, I bet Kevin really likes that fact that you make time for his family," You said taking the rosin, "Was Hunter mad that you had to cancel rehearsal?" You asked, looking down at your bow. 

Before Emily could respond, Hunter walked into the classroom. Honestly, it sounds cliche but seeing him somewhere unexpected made her heart stop before beating faster than ever before. He never wore his backpack with two straps which you liked. He walked up to the music instructor and engaged him in conversation. His hair was so long and even though it was dark brown, it was still so shiney. Even though it wasn't his choice to have part of his head shaved, you loved it; it gave you a perfect view of his side profile. He started walking over to you both after he was done talking to the teacher. You looked away and began fiddling with your fine tuners. 

"Em hey, so I wrote this track for you. I know I'm not the best at bass clef so if you need to make adjustments please do. This is the original so I asked Mr. Petters if I could make copies in the teachers lounge so I'll get you the copy soon alright?" Hunter said, you couldn't help but stare at the patches on his jean vest. He wasn't a long sleeve under it so it gave full view of his arms which although were skinny, they still were extremely toned. 

'God he is just so hot'  You thought to yourself. You quickly start looking through your binder hoping nobody noticed you disassociating. Emily thanked him and held small talk with him for about 5 minutes before he walked out. 

"Does he have a girlfriend?" You asked Emily before really thinking about the consequences. Emily looked over at you with wide eyes and a small grin. 

"I knew you fancied him, why didn't you say anything?" She asked me to move her body to face you. You tried your very best to play it off. 

"Just because I asked if he has a girlfriend doesn't mean I like him. But yes I do in fact think he's cute." You said picking at your acrylic nail, "I didn't tell you because I don't think he'll be into me. We don't necessarily have common interests." You said. 

"I don't know if Kevin and I weren't really designed for each other but it worked out." Emily said, tuning her A string. You nod your head and set your cello down next to your chair. 

"I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back." You said pulling on your jacket. 

"Great talk!" Emily called out to you playfully. 

You didn't need to use the restroom. After weeks of being afraid to go up to him and say literally anything was making you crazy. Especially after he came so close to you when talking to emily. It made you feel silly for having feelings of nervousness about wanting to introduce yourself. You were making your way to the teacher's lounge, it made you feel more comfortable knowing there wouldn't be any students around when trying to talk to him. One you made it to the door you stopped and took a deep breath in. You could feel your heartbeat in your fingertips as you want to open the door. Once you walk in you thought about walking right back out. He was facing away from you, staring down at the copying machine. Hearing the door open he turns around and cocks his head to the side. 

"You following me? You're Emily's friend from Orchestra right?" He asked, fully turning his body to face you. 

You laugh before responding, "I don't know about following but um, I did have a question for you." You said stepping a bit closer. 

"Okay.. go ahead," He said, setting one of his papers down. 

"There's this movie that just came out called Bodies Bodies Bodies and the Lakewood Drive-In. Their tickets are half price for Lakewood students opening night and I was wondering if maybe we could go together. I know this is kinda.. direct and I like, get it if you think it would be weird because we don't really know each-"

"I'll go with you." He interrupted you before continuing, "I see you hanging out with Emily a lot, it's not like you're a total stranger. So.. I'll pick you up around 6, Y|N?" He asked, making a point to show you he knew your name while gathering all his papers together. He grabbed a sticky note and wrote his number down and handed it to you before walking out. You stood there in shock for a second before turning around to face the door. There was a poster on the door right above the handle that said: Shoot for the moon even if you miss you'll land among the stars! You laughed at the irony. 

~

After you went back to the bandroom, making up an excuse to leave early after putting away your instrument. Part of you was still a little taken back, you didn't think it would go that easy. He just said yes like you were asking if the sky was blue. It made you think about his intentions a bit. Why did he say yes right away? Was it because he reciprocated the feelings you had for him, or was it for a more provocative reason? While you were walking it home it was really all you could think about. Your stomach was starting to tighten with anxiety once you got home. 

Once you got into your room it was like your brain stopped working. After almost having a panic attack trying to decide to wear pajamas or street clothes you decided on a plain pink sweatshirt and a jean skirt. You thought wearing slippers would compensate for not wearing pajamas. After you were ready you grabbed the sticky note from the bag and nervously type out your message:

-hey my address is 1209 Ocean Terrace i'm ready whenever you are :)

-cool be there in 10 

Knowing he was only 10 minutes away made your heart skip a beat. You grabbed your purse and quickly started fumbling through it to make sure you had all your valuables:  mint puff bar along with your pen, gum, compact, wallet and your lighter. As you were looking in the mirror to make sure you looked okay your phone vibrated. 

- im outside 

Quickly skipping down the stairs you give a quick kiss to your mom and walk out. It was starting to get dark which made all the street lights go off. His shiny black car was reflecting so much light it looked like a disco ball. As you're walking to the car Hunter gets out and opens the door for you. You smiled and pulled your purse father up your arm before getting in. 

"Thank you," You say while sitting down and fastening your seatbelt. He nodded his head before carefully closing the door and joining you in the driver's seat. Your leg was bouncing slightly to how nervous you were. 

"You know, I was surprised you said yes. I didn't think you would even entertain that." You laugh, moving your purse from your shoulder to your lap. He made a confused face. 

"Why did you think that?" He asked me to adjust his grip on the steering wheel. 

"I don't know, I guess because we're so different. You are really passionate about post death metal and your outward appearance reflects that. I obviously don't match that so I guess that would like.. detouryou?” You said playing with your nail, Hunter laughed and nodded his head.

"I could see how you think that but I mean, I've known Kevin forever. Even before he was into metal and we never had problems finding things to talk about or relate to each other. I mean Emily and I are really good friends now and I would have never imagined that. I try to keep that same logic when it comes to people I want to date." He said, looking away from the road for a moment to look at you. It made you blush when he implied that he might want to date you. 

"I've always thought you were cute. Even before 7th grade." You said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. He looked over at you, scared to meet his gaze you just smiled down at your purse.

Once you guys pulled into the Drive-In, you tried to pay but Hunter ignored you and paid the 10 dollars. It was pretty much completely dark outside, the sun barely peeking over the skyline. The entire car park was full of teenagers. Some sat outside their car in lawn chairs while others were tucked away waiting for the movie to drown out background noise. Every once and a while a puff of smoke would leave the car windows. After you both went down to the snack bar to get a couple things; some candy and a cherry slushie. Once you both got back into the car there was a bit of an awkward silence. 

"I don't know if you smoke," you say while digging through your purse to grab your pen, "but I have a really nice pen." You finish before taking a small puff. He laughed and shook his head and looked out the window for a moment. 

"I've smoked before but it's been a while." He said. You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn so you are facing him. You hold down the button on the pen and take a bigger hit. After the cloud came out of her mouth and filled the car you took a sip of your slurpee. The cup had so much condensation on it that it was dripping onto your thighs. You switch your position on the seat so that you are on your knees. You lean over the middle console slightly and put the pen to his lips, pressing the button to heat up the coil. Without breaking eye contact with you he takes the pen into his mouth and starts to drag. You use your other hand to bring the slurpee up to your mouth and take a drink. You were surprised by how big of a hit he took. For someone who claims he doesn't smoke, this was a ballsy risk. Again without breaking eye contact he blows the smoke into his lap which causes it to quickly spread throughout the car. 

"iT's bEeN a wHiLe," You mimic him playfully, this makes him laugh then causes him to let out a couple of coughs. 

"You know, whenever I would see you in the music room after that you seemed so.. dark. I don't mean like.. your clothes because yeah the clothes were physically darker but it was something more. Your eyes were so dark and always so swollen and your body language just made you seem like you were in pain all the time. My point is that when I saw you in the music room learning and progressing with guitar I was enamored with you. I still think it's impressive how fast you picked it up. And what was more impressive was the fact that you had no idea how good you were. Or how gifted your mind was to not only learn to play but also how to write music. I think that's when I really decided that I had a serious crush on you. When I realized the deepness of your mind reflected your appearance.” You said taking a hit hearing the coil crack and pop as it warmed up. He smiled and grabbed the slurpee from you and taking a sip before speaking,

"It's crazy because immediately after taking that hit I just.. can't help but tell you that I also thought you were cute since before seventh grade. Obviously you know why that was a fucked up year for me and before shit hit the fan I really thought about you alot. This sounds dumb but I always thought about walking up to you during lunch and making small talk or whatever but never had the balls to. Everyday I would walk past the table you were eating at and tried to direct myself toward you but never could. And then after everything it was like my priorities shifted from wants and desires down to just.. existing. I would still noticed though. In the music room I caught you staring a couple times. Don't get me wrong I stared back sometimes, enough to notice you stick your tongue out a little when you're really concentrating on the notes." He said softly while smiling, his eyes flickering from you to his hands that sat in his lap. 

"Embarrassing for me." You laugh grabbing the cup back from him.

"I thought or.. still think it's cute." He said playing with the rings on his hands. You looked up at him but his head was hanging down. 

You rest your hand on his thigh to get his attention. Almost like you were testing the waters to see if you were reading the situation right. He flipped his hair back then looked over at you, his pupils were so wide that his eyes were near back. 

Fuck it.

You moved yourself from your seat to his, your knees were resting on the outside of his thighs. Once you were straddling him you tuck a piece of his hair behind his ear. You drop your hands down to grab his and put them on your thighs. He caught on and began rubbing his hands up and down your legs. You rest your full body weight on him, you blush feelings the calluses' on his fingers from playing guitar so much. 

"Is this okay?" You asked. 

"Fuck yeah." He said laughing, it was the first time that you noticed how hard he was blushing. 

You kissed his cheek and then gave him a soft peck on the lips. You both spent most of the movie talking rather than watching the screen. The night was filled with all the questions that you always wanted answered. At one point you spend an entire 30 minutes holding his face in your hands while you inquire about his life. About why he liked metal so much or how old his pet snake was. When did he learn how to drive, his favorite class? It felt so intimate learning all these small things about him and his life. More so than any sexual encounter. He even opened up about his dad which was surprising to you. Neither of you noticed when the movie ended until cars started moving and obnoxiously honking their horns at cars that couldn't move. 

"I'm sad the movie is over because now I don't have any excuse to keep you here." He said gripping on to your thighs is a bit harder than before. You smiled and blew your hit into his face, he playfully took a bite out of the smoke. 

"I wouldn't need any excuse to want to stay." You said kissing him before getting back into your passenger seat. He laughed and started the car before focusing on getting them out of the crowded parking lot. The drive home was filled with content silence. You held his hand as he steered with the other, playing with the calluses on his finger.

"I'm really grateful that I got the courage to talk to you. I know this is like our first date.. or whatever but I just wanted to say I really like you and hope we can keep seeing each other in a more serious way." Hunter said, pulling your hand to his mouth to give it a small kiss. You blush hard and nod you head in agreement. 

"I'm just happy you feel the same way I do." You said smiling as he pulled into your drive in. He got out quicker than he did before to open your car door. You laughed and took his hand when he offered it to you to get out. 

"I'll see you soon, yeah?" You asked before leaning in to give him a quick kiss. 

"Count on it." He said as you walked towards your front door. Once you got into the house you saw your two younger sisters staring out the window. 

"He didn't drive away until after you closed the door!" One of them giggled,

"Yeah AND he opened the door for her to get out! That's so romantic! Just like in The Fosters!" They both ran off giggling gossiping with one another. It took you an hour to wipe the grin and matching blush off your face before heading to bed.

[cantcompetewhereudontcompare]

A complete deconstruction: Louis Tomlinson is a terrible songwriter. Part II

In part one, I debunked this assertion that Louis' songwriting was "crucial" for 1D. That post, I know, was probably quite boring and full of statistics, but I think it was important to be able to go to the fun part now.

Now we get to prove that he's not a good songwriter in the slightest.

POINT 1. He can't play instruments

Louis Tomlinson has been in the music industry since 2010. He was in a band when he was a teenager and he auditioned for the X Factor twice before he got in (2008 and 2009).

Despite all of that, and the millions he's racked in and rubbing elbows with incredible musicians, he still cannot play an instrument proficiently.

I stopped paying attention to him when the band broke up, but I've actually been asking around and digging to see if I was wrong about this before sitting down to make this post. Turns out, I'm not.

For instance, he has never played an instrument in one of his albums, and he barely ever does his backing vocals. He doesn't do ANYTHING ELSE either.

These are the personnel credits for his first album. He didn't even play the tambourine in it. In fact, he only did background vocals in 1 song out of 12.

For his second album nobody bothered to transcribe the personnel credit to its Wikipedia page, so I had to manually check song by song on Genius. You can skip this list as it's super long and nobody cares. I'm adding it because I find it super funny that SO many people are involved in his albums and he's, well, not. But his fans will tell you he's the songwriter of the century.

Vocals:

Louis Tomlinson — lead vocals (all tracks)

David Sneddon — backing vocals (12)

George Tizzard — backing vocals (2, 3, 5, 6, 9, 14, 16)

James Vincent McMorrow — backing vocals (1, 7, 13, 15)

Rick Parkhouse — backing vocals (2, 3, 5, 6, 9, 14, 16)

Robert Harvey — backing vocals (2)

Stephen Sesso — backing vocals (4)

Theo Hutchcraft — backing vocals (10, 11, 12)

Musicians:

Alex Thomas — drums (10, 11)

Carlo Caduff — drums (8)

Christopher Illingworth — piano (11)

Dan Crean — percussion (3, 4), drums (3, 4)

Fred Ball — percussion (1, 7, 13, 15), keyboards (1, 7, 13, 15)

George Tizzard — piano (2, 5, 6, 9, 14, 16), acoustic guitar (2, 5, 6, 9, 14, 16), keyboards (5, 6, 16)

James Birt — drums (2, 5, 6, 9, 14)

James Vincent McMorrow — guitar (1, 7, 13, 15), drums (1, 7, 13, 15), percussion (1, 7, 13, 15), keyboards (1, 7, 13, 15)

J Moon — bass (1, 13, 15), guitar (1, 13, 15), percussion (1, 13, 15), keyboards (1, 13, 15)

Joe Cross — guitar (10, 11, 12), bass (10, 11, 12)

John Foyle — synths (1, 7, 13, 15), bass (1, 13, 15), guitar (1, 7, 13, 15), drums (1, 7, 13, 15), percussion (1, 7, 13, 15), keyboards (1, 7, 13, 15), piano (15)

Liz Hanks — cello (10)

Mike Crossey — keyboards (3), bass (3, 4)

Nicolas Rebscher — guitar (8), keyboards (8), bass (8)

Paul Walsham — drums (12)

Rick Parkhouse — electric guitar (2, 5, 6, 9, 16), bass (5, 6), bass guitar (16)

Robert Harvey — electric guitar (2)

Stephen Murtagh — bass (9)

Stephen Sesso — acoustic guitar (3, 4), electric guitar (3, 4)

Tobie Tripp — strings (6)

END OF BORING BLOCK OF TEXT

Anyway, this time around he didn't even do backing vocals on 1 track. I'm not saying he should play the cello or the synth, or even bass. I'm not saying he should do every instrument like an absolute prodigy, but the LEAST a MUSICIAN can do if they're this incredible of a songwriter is participate in any capacity aside from lead vocals. At least on one track. One instrument. The fucking tambourine. SOMETHING.

I checked his other singles (the ones that aren't on either of his albums), and aside from (shared) backing vocals on Miss You, he also doesn't have any sort of credit in any of them. He has 34 recorded tracks total (12 in his first album, 16 + 2 bonus tracks in his second one, and 4 standalone singles) and aside from the lead vocals (duh) he only does backing vocals IN TWO. And NOTHING ELSE.

For comparison's sake, in his debut album Niall plays guitar in 9 out of 13 tracks, in his second album he does background vocals in 9 out of 16 tracks, plays guitar in 6 out of 16, and acoustic guitar in two additional ones, and in his third album he does background vocals in 9 out of 10 tracks, and plays harmonica and piano in track 6.

In his debut album, Harry does background vocals on every track, plays guitar on track 4, and the omnichord in tracks 1 and 4. In his second album he does background vocals on all tracks except 11, plays the dulcimer on track 10, and acoustic guitar on track 12. In his third album he does background vocals on all tracks, plays the glockenspiel on track 10, keyboards on track 11, and the tubular bells on track 4.

And Niall and Harry are not exceptional, top notch, creme de la creme songwriters. I'm comparing Louis to them because they were his peers, have the same background, and had the same opportunities to learn their craft for the same amount of time.

I could also compare him to Shawn Mendes, who plays guitar and keyboard in his own albums. Or even to someone like Olivia Rodrigo, who played the piano in her debut album. Billie Eilish played multiple instruments in her latest album. Taylor Swift has become quite lazy, but she used to play multiple instruments in her albums. Adele plays instruments on her albums as well. So does Lady Gaga. Someone like The Weeknd plays multiple instruments in his albums.

Not every popstar plays instruments, but those who don't 1. aren't regarded as great songwriters and/or 2. do other things, such as producing or stacking vocals. Like, Ariana Grande isn't a huge instrumentalist, but she does her own vocal engineering, for instance.

If he at least played a single instrument live, we could look past this, but he's been in the industry professionally for close to fourteen years and he has never, not once, performed a song while playing an instrument.

He toured the fucking world TWICE as a solo artist and never picked up a guitar for a single song.

The most we've seen of him with instruments is idly stroking a guitar for a couple of seconds twice that I can find (here and here) and then he once, in 2012, played 15 seconds of a song by The Fray on a keyboard.

He has posed with guitars a bunch

And he has footage of himself looking forlornly into the horizon as he "plays" guitar, but that footage is muted while he talks about himself very seriously on top of it.

He also has an entire music video where he acts like he's playing piano on top of someone else playing it (Duck Blackwell), which would be all fine and good if he had actually ever even hinted at being good enough to play an entire song on the piano. Both Taylor Swift and Harry, for instance, have similar music videos (in Cardigan Aaron Dessner is playing piano, in Falling, Kid Harpoon is playing). But we know that Taylor and Harry both can actually play (and have both played piano or keyboard in their own albums as well, just other songs).

It's a Thing that he doesn't play instruments nor does melodies. His often writing team Liam, is on the record saying that he would do melodies while Louis did the lyrics while they were in 1D.

He said it first in 2017 in a fan Q&A:

Fan: When you were in One Direction, you and Louis were a really strong writing team. As you've transitioned into solo stuff, have you felt really strongly about working on music vs lyrics more? Liam: To be honest with you, I've never been much of a lyrics man. I kind of bungle along with the lyrics. I'll be honest with you, sometimes lyrics just feel like homework. So when I'm sitting down to write I'm more of a melodies man. I like to just escape a little bit. There's a lot of pictures of me asleep in the studio, it looks like. But I'm not asleep. That's just where I go to when I'm trying to think about what's gonna come next in the song (...). I'm kind of more of a melodies person, I'd say. Louis was always more for the lyrics

Then he said it again in 2023 in an interview with a Chilean media outlet (note how Louis doesn't even do the lyrics alone haha):

"Whenever I was in the studio with Louis, I'd kind of do the melodies and then Louis would kind of do the lyrics with Jamie (Scott), and I'd kind of zone out whenever there were words on the page."

Louis said it as well in an interview with Radio DeeJay in 2022.

"Personally, for me, it's always been easier to write lyrics than melody and music, but I think it's like, each to their own in that."

He also said this in 2022:

“Sometimes, it’ll depend on who you’re working with, sometimes you kinda lean on whatever their side is. For me, 9 times out of 10, I come into the room with minimum a concept, or a lyric, or a title or something I want to talk about. And again, my strength lies in lyric, I’m trying to get better…So we’ll have a concept, and then probably some, one of the lads I’m working with will pick out a guitar line, we’ll find a melody about that and try and match the title we started with to what were writing.”

I think we can thoroughly confirm that Louis is not proficient with instruments. Add to that that he even confirms himself (two years ago, so 12 years into his career), that he has an easier time writing lyrics than melodies and music and that he's not really that good at writing melodies. There's nothing wrong with it, everyone has their own strengths, but it's the combination of things that makes it sting.

He has never played an instrument in public, he has never played an instrument in one of his albums, he only did background vocals for 2 out of 34 songs, and he AND Liam both say his strength isn't melodies. He's even outright admitting that his co-writers often come up with his melodies.

Songs aren't just lyrics. The melody of a song is just as important (some would argue, more important). If he himself admits that he has issues with melodies and music, then you can't just decide that it doesn't matter and he's "an incredible songwriter" anyway. He's simply not. If you like his music, then what you like are the co-writers he chooses to work with.

POINT 2. He's not that involved in his own songwriting process

I'm not saying that he's not involved at all or that he never writes anything, but he's not the driving force behind it. He's not the main songwriter, the one who commands the room, the one who comes up with everything.

How do we know this? It's pretty simple.

For one, the amount of collaborators he has.

Walls had 34 songwriters in 12 tracks. THIRTY-FOUR. Huge block of text incoming (used for impact):

Sean Douglas

Jamie Harman

Stuart Chrichton

Cole Citrenbaum

James Newman

Stephen Wrabel

Bryn Christopher

Andrew Jackson

Duck Blackwell

Levi Lennox

Julian Bunetta

John Ryan

Amish Patel

Jim Lavigne

Danny Majic

John Mitchell

Justin Franks

Noel Gallagher

Dave Gibson

Jacob Manson

Iain James

Wayne Hector

Steve Robson

Matthew Burns

Jason Reeves

Ali Tamposi

Andrew Watt

Ed Drewett

Yei Gonzalez

Jamie Scott

Johan Carlsson

Joe Janiak

Valentina

Louis, obviously

Of course, not every songwriter was on every track, but you can't possibly have a vision if you're working with this many people for a single project. There was only one sample (Noel Gallagher on Walls), so it's not even a Beyoncé case, where she had many songwriters but it was because she was sampling a bunch of songs.

This many people on a single, very short, project simply means that there wasn't a unified vision and a unified leader. How can you possibly make an album sound cohesive if it was written by two entire soccer teams and their benches?

Faith In The Future was much more concise in terms of its collaborators with fourteen (seventeen if we count producers), which is not a small number, but it's more standard for a pop album. So props to him for narrowing it down, I suppose.

The problem here, and with Walls and all his other singles, is that there are a lot of cooks on every song and Louis doesn't seem to be the primary songwriter in any of them.

I don't want to be hypocritical, so first I'll address that Harry's debut album also had a lot of writers in each song, but there was a caveat there, Harry's first album was written in a retreat in Jamaica. All the songs had the same names because he just gave blanket credit to everyone present.

The main producer of that album was Jeff Bhasker, so he got writing credit on every song. Then Tyler Johnson was basically an assistant to Jeff, and he also got credit. Ryan Nasci and Alex Salibian were engineers who were helping with the mixing, and they also got writing credit on every song. With two exceptions, 1. Two Ghosts, which Harry had written when he was in 1D in 2014/2015. 2. Sweet Creature, which he wrote alone with Kid Harpoon. The rest of the 8 tracks on HS1 were written by the same six songwriters. The total number of songwriters + producers for HS1 is 9, including 2 former 1D songwriters who got credit for Two Ghosts.

Another caveat here, is that if you read my last post, you know we can tell the % of songwriting of each collaborator. Harry was the driving force behind every single HS1 song, Jeff, Tyler, and Mitch got minority credit, while Alex and Ryan got a small percentage.

For instance, with Sign of the Times (the lead single and most successful song of that album)

Ryan Nasci + Alex Salibian = 9.5% Mitch Rowland + Tyler Johnson + Jeff Bhasker = 40.51% Harry Styles = 50%

Harry has primary credit on every single song on that album, FYI.

For Fine Line, the team was tighter. There are still 9 names total but the average number of co-writers goes down in half to 3.6 per song, because the core group is smaller (Harry, Tyler, Kid, and Mitch) and the add-ons are just there in one or two tracks. Harry also has primary credit on almost every single song (except Lights Up, where he has 40% credit and Tyler Johnson has 45%).

In some songs, such as She, he has 80% credit and the other 3 split the remaining 20%. This screenshot is old, Kid Harpoon has since signed to GMR so we can no longer split his and Harry's %, but that happened after the release of Fine Line, and luckily I'd saved these.

For his third album, the team is now 7 (with Harry, Kid, and Tyler doing the bulk of the work), and the average songwriters per track is 3.07. Sadly, since Kid signed to GMR I can't get a breakdown of the % anymore.

One day I'll make a post about this because I think it's so telling, in terms of Harry as a musician, but I just wanted to get this out of the way. I HATE hypocrisy, and I'm not going to bash Louis for something if the person I support is doing the same. He's not. And I needed to show that.

So, for his first album, Louis had the 34 songwriters I mentioned above + 5 extra producers. Each song had an average of 4.25 songwriters.

For his second album, Louis had 14 songwriters + 3 extra producers. Each song had an average of 4 songwriters.

The average in and of itself isn't that bad. It's pretty standard for pop musicians. The thing is that the standard pop musician isn't constantly gloating about his songwriting prowess and doesn't have a fanbase that constantly boasts either.

If Louis had primary credit in his songs, even if he had a lot of collaborators, I couldn't really fault him for it. Alas, he does not.

As I said in the other post, Louis' PRO is PRS, which is British. Foreign PROs have to collect through an American one, usually ASCAP or BMI. It seems like Louis collects through BMI. Why? Well, because

In songs where all the other songwriters are with BMI, BMI controls 100%, meaning, also Louis' part. We can't say what % each of them wrote, but we can infer that this means Louis is collecting royalties through BMI.

Anyway, there's nothing really all that interesting about the % of his writing credits. All songs have an equal distribution among all participants, except some notable ones (and I'll get to that in a sec). The fact that everyone gets the same % of credit on every song is... well, telling. It's impossible for every single collaborator to have contributed the same amount to every single song in every single case. That's just not what happens when you have a group of 34 or 14 people writing an album.

Louis made a point, particularly with his second album, of working with artists as opposed to professional songwriters:

“Through my own experience, sometimes, with a ‘professional’ songwriter (...) they write hits for a living, that’s their livelihood. So to ask them to go in the room and want to write an album track, sometimes those are difficult things to ask for. ‘Cos the back of their mind they’re thinking 'but if we shape this like a single, who knows?’ and all of a sudden, again you’re changing the song. Whereas with artists, they completely understand this is a 16 track album, track 11 is as important as track 1.”

What he calls a "professional songwriter" takes this job as a 9 to 5. That person will split % evenly and call it a day, unless there's some very specific reason to get more or less credit. But Louis was writing as a collaborative effort with a group of people who he calls artists. This wasn't a job for them, this was art.

They didn't all contribute the same, so why should they all get the same %?

It does save me time, because 99% of the songs look like this:

If there's one songwriter from ASCAP among 4 songwriters, and he gets 25% and the other three divide the remaining 75%. Pretty straightforward, each get 25%. You're free to look it up yourself.

The notable exceptions are Only The Brave

We know Louis is with BMI, and BMI only controls 5% of the song. So the other two songwriters split 95% of the writing credit (this isn't surprising because it's known that Louis hadn't actually written in this song. Seems like they threw him in a 5% for some reason).

And Just Hold On

Steve Aoki has 25% and the other 75% is divided among four people (we don't know how, though, but it suggests that Louis has slightly less than Steve).

Anyway, I'm bringing this up because I'm trying to be as fair as possible. You can be very charitable and believe that Louis was the driving force behind every song and he just generously gave away equal writing credit for people who didn't do as much as him. But that's simply not true. He got equal credit when he didn't contribute to those songs equally.

You can actually look up what the people involved have said, and if you're honest with yourself, you will conclude that Louis was not the driving force behind his own music.

Louis said this about the process of writing his songs:

“9/10 melody will come first, but before any of that happens we normally talk about a general concept on what we want to get across, what we want it to sound and feel like. Then it kind of just happens naturally, really.”

So they come up with a concept, then go to the melody, then the song comes up from that. Cool.

Now, remember that quote I posted above? About how he has a hard time coming up with melodies and how he leans on whoever he's writing with?

“Sometimes, it’ll depend on who you’re working with, sometimes you kinda lean on whatever their side is. For me, 9 times out of 10, I come into the room with minimum a concept, or a lyric, or a title or something I want to talk about. And again, my strength lies in lyric, I’m trying to get better…So we’ll have a concept, and then probably some, one of the lads I'm working with will pick out a guitar line, we’ll find a melody about that and try and match the title we started with to what were writing.”

He gives them an abstract concept and whoever he's writing with comes up with the melody, and then they go from there. That's not an equally collaborative effort. "Whoever he's working with" is doing the bulk of the work while all he does is say "yes" and "no" and give vague concepts and ideas.

Let me be clear, this isn't bad. Most pop artists work this way. It's FINE. But those artists aren't considered proficient songwriters and are usually belittled for their small contributions, while Louis is out there talking himself up as a songwriter and his fans eat it up and attack his peers.

If you can't write music, or play instruments, if you don't come up with the melodies, and you get help to come up with the lyrics, how exactly are you "a great songwriter"?

The answer is that you're not.

But let's actually see what Louis has to say about his songwriting process. I looked up quotes to see if he has any insight that would point to him being more involved, having some technical (if base leve) knowledge, being knowledgeable about processes or any sort of musical element and I found absolutely nothing. I could be missing it — as I said, I stopped paying attention to him years ago. But I do think I'm a pretty good researcher, and still found nothing.

But since I'm very charitable, I decided to use two long-form sources where he specifically talks about his second album.

The following is a track by track breakdown of his second album he did on Twitter. It's basically just his tweets for every song. If you're already familiar with this you can skip it. I'll discus it in an abridged way anyway.

The Greatest: "[It] was written in London with [co-writers]. It was always written as a tour opener, but also made sense to start the album off with a bang."

Written All Over Your Face: "Love the guitar line that comes in towards the end. Rob Harvey working his magic."

Bigger Than Me: "[It] was really important for me making the record. It gave me the confidence early on in the process. Ambition [sic] chorus vocally but suits a big show and us singing it together."

Lucky Again: "This song started of [sic] with this like hypnotic guitar riff Jay Moon came up with and we built the song around that. Feels like a good driving song."

Face The Music: "Me and Dave Gibson wrote [it] together in LA. One of my favourites on the album! Love that opening lyric. Did so many great sessions with Dave!!"

Chicago: "[It] was written in LA with Dave. Love the lyric and the concept."

All This Time: "I've always loved [it]. Just feel like a feel good tune from the off. James had a great vision for this song."

Out Of My System: "[It] was such a moment in the studio. I was with Nico and Dave was on zoom. I wanted to write something that had a bit of danger to it and had the title. Nico straight away played the riff and we were off."

Headline: "I think [it] was the last song for the album. Red triangle lads smashed the production and the academic for writing it. Made some subtle changes but loved the song as is."

Saturdays: "It felt emotional writing recording and performing this song. There’s something about it. Love the trainers lyric as well! Joe cross absolutely smashed the production, love the way the song grows.

Silver Tongues: "Had such a great few days written with Dave Sneddon, Theo Hutchcraft and Joe Cross. [It] is defo one of my favourite on the album. Love everything about this song!"

She Is Beauty We Are World Class: "Written in the same few days as the last two songs. Dave turned up with this picture on his phone of the title ‘She is beauty we are world class’ it was taken in the toilet mirror of a train. Felt like a weird place for such a poetic sentiment"

Common People: "[It] is about Doncaster having a place on my album. Such a big part of who I am. Love the simplicity of the song and the lyric.

Holding On To Heartache: "[This] is a song I’ve always loved. I’m glad I found a place for it on the deluxe. The middle 8 takes it to another gear as well! That’s going to be a fucker to sing night after night haha!"

That's The Way Love Goes: "Also one of my favourites. Always loved dry your eyes by the streets and wanted to write a similar concept. Again love the strings at the end!"

Overall, he had one sort of technical comment to make, about Holding on To Heartache. "Middle 8" is when a song switches up/adds new elements. He's saying that the song had a switch-up and it took it to the next level.

The rest of "songwriting notes" are:

I wrote [song] with [name of collaborator]

We wrote [song] while [activity] in [place]

[Collaborator] had a great idea and we built on that.

I love [part or sound of the song]!

The only commentary on what he wanted from sound is about That's The Way Love Goes. He liked a song by a band and he wanted to recreate it. Of course, he doesn't say what he liked about that song or that band and what he wanted to recreate. Is it the drums? The ambiance? The backing vocals? The reverb? Does he even know?

He never talks about coming up with ideas himself — it's always one of his collaborators coming up with something and then building up on that.

He also never mentions specific instruments or sounds that he likes. Reading these, I definitely he believe he was there when the songs were written. I believe he told his collaborators, in very vague terms, what he wanted the songs to sound like, and I believe he told them what he wanted the songs to be about. But so far, I have no reason to believe he had any of the knowledge necessary or took any of the necessary steps to achieve those sounds.

Of course, this could be just off the cuff commentary and not serious, so I can't take this as the only contributions and opinions he has on his album, can I?

Give me credit for how charitable I am... Let's give him one more chance. This time, going by his track by track video. He's going to discuss every single song and the album as a whole in detail. It's a one-on-one interview posted directly on his YouTube channel.

He starts off discussing how different his sound is from his last album and worrying about alienating fans, but he doesn't describe what's different or why. Why would it alienate fans? I don't understand why he's so vague. It just sounds like he has no idea what he's talking about.

About The Greatest:

"I think straight away, from the off, Fred Ball did a really — goes way beyond my musical comprehension — but really really clever kind of opener, really slaps you round the face."

That's all the songwriting commentary we get about this song. His collaborator did something he didn't really understand but it was sick. He's not starting off very promising...

About Written All Over Your Face:

“That’s a song where straight away I can picture Rob Harvey, he’s a brilliant lyricist but also brilliant with melody as well. He sang out that melody and from the off, once we had that lead part — I don’t want to say the song wrote itself, but it kind of really set the tone for the kind of style that we wanted to do.”

Someone else came up with the melody and the song "wrote itself". Well, he didn't want to say that it wrote itself, but he also didn't say what it did do, so I'm going to believe that it did write itself. It certainly doesn't sound like Louis wrote it.

About Bigger Than Me: Nothing. He just talks about what the song is about. No insight on its composition.

About Lucky Again: He repeats what he said on Twitter about the hypnotic melody someone else came up with setting the tone for the song. It's completely normal for an artist to bounce ideas off collaborators, but it's slightly worrying that every single time it's someone else's idea that he builds on. Are none of this ideas his own?

He then talks about post-production of the album, and I said to myself, "Oh, he's finally gonna give us some insight!" Nope.

He just said that it was hard because he was on tour, and he'd say yes to something and then he'd regret it, but being on tour affected the way he made decisions because he was being influenced by the shows.

And this actually grinds my fucking gears. What did he say yes to and why did he regret it? What part of the shows influenced the songs and how?

This man has now been a part of releasing SEVEN profesional studio albums. And he can't name a single specific production note he gave?

"I wanted this instrument here because of this reason." Or "because of the live shows, I realized I preferred a crescendo of the melody." Or even "I asked the background vocals to be this way because of this reason." LITERALLY ANYTHING. He can't articulate a single music-related thought. It's actually impressive (derogatory).

He expands on how he thinks he writes better in the UK (?????) and when he starts his writing sessions midday instead of early in the morning (????????) because he doesn't want it to feel like work (IT IS WORK!). None of this is technical songwriting stuff. Next he's gonna describe his BREAKFAST on songwriting days. HOW IS THIS RELEVANT TO A TRACK BY TRACK ANALYSIS??

These anecdotal details are great when surrounded with technical commentary. They're shallow and ridiculous when surrounded by literal empty space.

He waxes poetic about how cool the people he worked with are (which is great!) but he doesn't really get technical about why he likes working with them other than "attention to detail" and "really fucking cool." At this point it feels like he's writing an essay and he's trying to run the words.

He mentions being inspired by Arctic Monkeys... again.

And The Snuts (one of his openers on tour). He mentions nothing specific about the sound of either of these bands, because that'd probably kill him on the spot. The only specificity we get is that he grew up close to Sheffield, where AM are from. In case you forgot he's a Northern Lad From The North.

"And it wasn’t until I heard that DMA’s record and how Stuart Price had produced it and of course they’re using some of these modern, trendy, radio, whatever word you wanna use to describe it sounds. They do it in a really authentic way, it’s not in there just because it’s trendy, it’s in there because it serves the song."

"Modern, trendy, radio, whatever word you wanna use to describe it." I don't wanna use any words, Louis, you're the one nit!! Describe it?? have NO IDEA what he's even saying here. This was in 2022, what was dancey, modern, trendy, and radio in 2022? As it Was?? WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT??

I actually went and played some DMA's to try to understand what he's saying. Their most streamed song is a chill-out version of Believe (the Cher song), the only dancey, trendy, modern thing about that song is the inspiration. it's literally chillout pop. The second most streamed song sounds like old Coldplay + bossa n stone. There is nothing modern, dancey (does he mean EDM?) or trendy about any of this. I'm losing my mind. This man is musically illiterate.

About Face The Music:

"I am not the most sophisticated musical listener, I kinda like songs like this that have got that wall of sound that will give you that energy. Again, it’s easy to kind of imagine in the live context."

This is actually hilarious, because Louis is so musically illiterate, that he just used a real concept (Wall of Sound) to describe something that doesn't apply in the slightest. "Wall of Sound" is a concept by Phil Spector (who, incidentally, is a convinced murderer). It consists on duplicating or triplicating a certain sound and making it build up on itself to the point where the sounds are indistinguishable from each other. For instance, you play the piano, then you replicate that on a keyboard, then you replicate that on a synth, and you mix them together in such a way that you can't tell each instrument from the other, you just hear the result.

The most famous example of a Wall of Sound song is God Only Knows by the Beach Boys. It can be applied to any genre and sound, but because of the nature of how you mix it, it tends to have an almost orchestral sound and it works well in very grandiose songs that sound kind of ethereal. Another song that uses Wall Of Sound is Halo by Beyoncé or Set Fire To The Rain by Adele.

Face The Music does NOT do this in the slightest. You can very clearly hear each individual instrument (derogatory). Louis is using the very real and tangible musical concept of Wall Of Sound to describe this because the song is loud. He probably heard of the concept in passing and took the meaning of it in its face, a literal wall of sound, as in, loud (and this song isn't even that loud — he's a pussy).

This is why I say this man isn't a great songwriter. He's been in the industry for FOURTEEN YEARS. Can you imagine being a professional songwriter and going to the studio with someone who can't articulate a singular musical thought? And he's worth millions while you're struggling to pay rent?

He used this expression wrongly twice so far, btw. (After the interviewer says it's a festival song) "Yeah, yeah definitely but you still kind of got that sing along chorus but dressed up with enough of that wall of sound behind it."

About Chicago:

"Sometimes what I find challenging, is I can see the picture or I can hear the song or I can see the concerts in my head and sometimes it’s quite hard to articulate that cause you’ve got such a clear vision in your head and you just want someone else to be able to read your mind, go ‘Yeah that’s what Im talking about!"

You know what you could do to help you with this Louis? Study music theory. Read a book. Watch a documentary. Listen to literally any music. He can't articulate it because he knows nothing about music and can't play any instruments. I believe wholeheartedly that he has a vision for his albums. It's not that hard to conceptualize a sound in your head, if you're able to hear and have lived in this world for a couple of decades. But it's very, very hard to translate that into words if you don't know the first thing about music theory.

Other than this, he just discusses being vulnerable in his lyrics in Chicago. Cool, not really technically about songwriting, but whatever.

About All This Time:

"I think Fred did a brilliant job on this. And again this is something where I know what I like, but in terms of a production, it wasn’t as if I had loads of notes to give on this. It’s a little bit more me taking a risk, doing something slightly dancier."

I hadn't listened to this man's album, and good lord I wish I hadn't taken research for this so seriously. This has got to be one of the worst songs I've ever heard. But I was curious as to what he meant with "dancier." And I mean, I guessssss??? I don't think this song has any idea what it's supposed to be.

Notice how he said he didn't have any notes to give? He just let the man do his thing? He shouldn't have. Perhaps notes would have killed it and ended its misery.

About Out Of My System:

"That was a song, again, where we started out with a guitar riff. I went into, I want to say, definitely Arctic Monkeys, maybe Teddy Picker, maybe Dancing Shoes, and I was listening to it on the way to that writing session. I went in and I said to the lads, Nico and Dave ‘I want to write something as punk as I can get away with’ and that’s when Nico straight away came up with that really kind of punchy riff. And that riff kind of sums up the song, really, that kind of danger and that kind of energy."

I don't even know where to start.

Once again, he doesn't come up with a melody, he doesn't come up with a song. He goes to the studio, tells other (more talented) people "I want a song that sounds like this", the other (more talented) people come up with a riff, and that's how he builds the song. THIS IS YOUR GREAT SONGWRITER??? He's using his co-writers as ChatGPT in human form are you fucking kidding me?

The AUDACITY to compare Teddy Picker or Dancing Shoes to whatever it is he's trying to do actually offends me. Teddy Picker and Dancing Shoes are two technically flawless songs that sound tight and fresh 20 years later.

If you've never listened to Teddy Picker, I implore you to press play here.

Now go and listen to Out Of My System. Don't get me wrong, OOM isn't nearly as criminally offensive as All This Time. The musicians playing it (not Louis) are competent enough and it doesn't sound bad. It also doesn't sound good. It's a 6/10 song. It sounds dated, like a 2000s Christian rock band doing a Limp Bizkit but if the lead singer had to leave and they let the son of the pastor take over for shits and giggles.

He's also SO BASIC. I love myself some Arctic Monkeys, but does he not know any other bands? If at least he picked songs that weren't incredibly cliché I could overlook his fascination with the most obvious choice he could reach for over and over. But no, he chooses a huge single and a cult classic. If anything, I think Out Of My System is more similar to Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But... (still kind of insulting to a quality song, but more appropriate). But I doubt Louis has ever listened to any song of theirs below 100M streams on Spotify. I already covered that this whole indie rock thing is all a front and he's a Top40 poppy boy at heart here.

About this song, he actually does give a morsel of technical commentary, saying he recorded the vocals right after a show to get a rougher edge. I mean, I don't think he needed to wait until after a show to get a rougher edge to his vocals. They're rough 24/7, but anyway. The one insight on something technical and it's about the one thing he obviously knows about, since the lead vocals are his one and only job in his albums.

Then he talks about touring, and about one of the million indie garage rock bands with multiple white boys that all sound the same that he has in his "festival." And then about his "festival." Then for some reason he gets on to talk about his bucket list and skydiving. And I'm here wondering WHEN IS HE GONNA START TALKING ABOUT SONGWRITING?

About Headline:

"Um, yeah this was the last song that we got on this record and I’m not gonna lie, it was like 85% finished when I heard it. Well, it was finished, um and there was just a few things across the lyric that were good, that were great but they just didn’t feel true to me so we kind of remolded it, reshaped it so it felt kind of relevant to this record."

So the song was done when he got it and he just touched a couple of lyrics. Color me surprised. His voice sounds like nails in a chalkboard on it. Worse than I've ever heard it. I can't believe he put this out to the world.

He says it kinda sounds like Blossom when they do their 80s sound. I mean, he's not completely off. I would say that the song sounds like a The 1975 or Bleachers reject if Matty Healy/Jack Antonoff had swallowed several sheets of sandpaper. I guess I'll give him props for knowing another indie English rock band aside from Arctic Monkeys and the ones that do his "festival"?

About Saturdays:

He talks endlessly about lyrics and Doncaster and........

Anyway, then he says this:

"Again goes way above my musical comprehension when he mentioned at the time I’m like I don’t really know what you’re on about there but Joe, did Joe Cross do something brilliant with Saturdays and there is little to no bottom end until the drums come in which is about halfway through the song now, once you hear it and listen back you kind of miss it you’re like where is it and then when the drums hit in every single time it just feels like a slap around the face and that was one of those moments for me where just thankful to being for being around these brilliant musicians because that’s not a trick I could pull out your sleeve."

He thinks having the drums come in mid-song is revolutionary. BEYOND HIS MUSICAL COMPREHENSION. Bless his heart. The fact that he admits that this is something that he could never come up with himself simply blows my mind. He was 30 years old when he did this, btw. He sounds like a child who's setting foot in the studio for the first time ever.

He's gonna lose his mind when he finally hears In The Air Tonight for the first time.

He then adds:

"I have a very, what’s the word? I’m not, you know in terms of when I speak about music there is no musical education there it’s all on feel so I rely on people like Joe to bring that incredible musicality to the production."

Really? I never could've guessed... Maybe you should tell your fans, as they have somehow convinced themselves you're the best songwriter to have graced this earth.

About Silver Tongues:

"Sonically I think it’s really clever because the first time people hear it you kind of get into a false sense of security where it comes in with the piano and it feels really emotional. It feels like you’re gonna go into a ballad and then straight away the production kicks in so that’s something again in the live show I think that’ll be a moment."

He's endlessly fascinated by the most basic musical concepts. It's kind of sad. Starting a song slow and upping the tempo is not "really clever," Louis. It's been done a million times. You literally "wrote" End Of The Day in 2015. Were you asleep the entire time? Huh??

About She Is Beauty We Are World Class:

He repeats the story he told on Twitter. Then adds this:

"That was that was an interesting moment I think this is where we said, “let’s really try and go all in on the dance-ier sound of things” because I kind of allude to it on like All This Time but like it’s not quite as like trancey as this is. Almost has that kind of DMA’s lift with it with the instrumental that comes in on the post chorus."

I haven't listened to a ton of DMA's music, but the few tracks I did listen sounded nothing like this. It cracks me up that he doesn't have the lingo to describe music genres. We saw it painfully when he kept describing hip hop, rap, and trap as "urban" back in the day, but the fact that he keeps describing electronic music/EDM as "dancey" and "trancey" is super funny. Like, EDM does have the word "dance" in its name, but nobody calls it "dancey", Louis. You sound like an old man.

About Common People:

"I'm from Doncaster, and me friends, and me family, and Doncaster, and I'm just a lad from Doncaster."

About Angels Fly:

The technical commentary is limited to "it has a big chorus." Moving on.

About Holding On To Heartache:

"It's a bit more pop. I think fans will like it." is the extent of his analysis. He's actually incapable of uttering a single technical sentence. It's incredible.

About Lucky Again:

He gives lots of credit to one of his collaborators (Vincent McMorrow), which is nice of him. Once again he cannot articulate what's so good about good ol' Vince. He's just "an absolute genius" and "constantly challenging different ideas." What those ideas are, we won't find out.

He then starts to talk about a concept, loses train of thought mid-sentence, and he says (and I quote) "We’ll just scrap that. I can’t remember what it was… fucking some line." Why wasn't this edited out? I truly cannot even begin to understand.

About That's The Way love Goes:

"Me mates, and Doncaster, and me mates..."

He then again talks about having a Wall Of Sound, and at this point I'm getting extreme second-hand embarrassment because I can totally picture him describing loud songs like that in front of very well educated musicians, who in turn would have to contain their laughter and do their very best not to correct him.

And that's the end of it. I think I've given him enough opportunities to talk about songwriting. He doesn't know the first thing about it.

When I say I want him to talk about technical stuff or about the process. I mean stuff like this:

"'Fine Line' I wrote during a gap in the tour. It was January 2018 and I was at my friend Tom's house, who I work with, and we just started strumming this thing, and we started layering these vocals, and it turned into this 6-minute thing. (...) I wanted it to turn into something else at the end, I wanted like a big crescendo ending. While we were in Bath, Sammy [his engineer] started playing this little thing on the piano, and I tweaked it a little bit, and I was like 'That has to go at the end of Fine Line.'"

Harry for NPR in 2019

I don't need him to discuss this sort of thing as if he was a Juilliard professor. But just... some idea of the technical aspects of it. Like layering the vocals, wanting a crescendo. And HE did it, HE tweaked it, HE got the idea of adding it to Fine Line. It's a collaborative effort, for sure, but he's an integral part of it, because at the end of the day it's HIS song.

"That's just a voice note of my ex-girlfriend talking. I was playing guita and she took a phone call — and she was actually speaking in the key of the song."

Harry for Rolling Stone in 2019

Super simple and short, but it explains an artistic decision (adding Camille's voice at the end of Cherry), and why he made it, and how HE made it, how it was his idea and his decision, and why, musically, sonically, he chose to do it.

"It's a weird one. It started simple, but I wanted to have this big epic outro thing. And it just took shape as this thing where I thought, 'That's just like the music I want to make.' I love strings, I love horns, I love harmonies —so why don't we just put all of that in there."

Harry for Rolling Stone in 2019

More about Fine Line. Concise information about what he wants in music instead of "oh I have it in my head but I can't put it into words."

Harry: One of the songs on my record, She, we got James Gadson who played on all the early Bill Withers stuff. He's like 81. And he came and played on the record. We were like, putting down like a demo drum-thing, and we were like, "Oh, we love the sound of these drums." And they [the engineers] were like, "Oh, he's still alive." So we just got him to come play! Zane: Can I ask you what you got out of that session? When you actually got to experience a player who was inspiring the sound you were searching for, and you got to actually witness the player... Was it the feel...? Cause we can try to recapture all we want, but only one person can play like Gadson, right? Only one. Harry: Yeah. I think it's one of those things that, like. I mean, with all instruments, but with drums, and with live drums, you just can't get the feel from a machine. You can have it so it so it makes your chest drawl, but there's like a groove and a feel and a swing, that someone who's that seasoned, who has just played on anything and everything and is such a master...

Harry for Selects Beats 1, March 2020

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? A songwriter involved in his own music knows at least surface level technical stuff and can off the cuff talk about them in conversation, because he lives them. He's there as they happen. He makes the decisions and he understands what's going on. Even if they aren't a proficient drum player, they still have some level of understanding.

Same interview, talking about doing his own backing vocals:

"I do all the harmonies. I can go pretty high full voice, and then there's like a falsetto bit, and then if I'm doing really high harmonies, you wanna get like that Queen-y thing. I have like a squeal thing that's pretty up there, which you don't wanna do too often, but... I have a funny video of me recording some harmonies from the record. I'll send it to you. It's definitely squeal-y. I usually stack my own harmonies. I can't remember when I started doing it, but I try to get a crowd sound, so I just do each harmony in a different accent. And you end up with someone Scottish in there, like a French guy. And you go like London, Northerner, couple of Americans, and you end up with like an amazing crowd."

I'm using Harry as an example because he's an artist I pay a lot of attention to who has the same background and has been in the indistry for the same amount of time as Louis. They share the same resources to learn and educate themselves, perfect their own profession.

I don't think Harry is necessarily a prodigy, but he's an actual songwriter who's involved every step of the way.

And this is what I wanted to close with.

"I think that the first cut that changed it for me was the Steve Aoki song with Louis Tomlinson. I just wrote that with this amazing writer Eric Ross (...). We just wrote a bunch of stuff together, and we wrote that, and one day a couple of years after it was written I got a text, and it was like, 'Hey, Louis Tomlinson is cutting this.' And as a One Direction stan I lost my shit."

Sasha Sloan, co-writer of Just Hold On.

"Louis Tomlinson’s track ‘Silver Tounges’, from album ‘Faith In the Future’ recorded @80hertz | Engineered by @gj_atkins, recording to a Studer A80 1” tape machine (courtesy of @studio_magnetique) | Produced & written by @joejrcross"

Caption by the studio where Silver Tongues was recorded

"I was in with Andrew Jackson and Duck Blackwell, two of my collaborators, Louis wasn't there, my manager had a meeting with his management and they said 'Louis is looking for songs', the brief was like Oasis and I was like 'I don't think he should do Oasis so let's give him a pop ballad." Bryn explained that the trio didn't know much about Louis but were aware of Johannah's death and decided to channel that into the song. "It was a little bit weird, we don't know him, we don't know what he went through," he said before adding: "But we did it and we're bringing our own elements, we've all lost people so we were putting our own words into them. "We sent it to his team and he was like 'Oh my God, I've been waiting to write this song but I couldn't,' I heard that he'd been encouraged to 'write a song about my mum but I couldn't' he'd heard bits and was like 'This is it. This is what I was feeling. This is all that I wanted to do'. And so then he went, came in and wrote a bit more like the middle eight and yeah, then he released it."

Bryn Christopher, co-writer of Two Of us

James Vincent McMorrow via instagram (he has archived all posts prior to the end of 2023, so this is gone now)

I'll be fair and include this quote by Theo Hutchcraft:

"I absolutely love these lads and being part of [Louis Tomlinson's] masterplan and creative vision has been a total joy. He deserves it all."

It does absolutely nothing to convince me that this "masterplan" and "creative vision" was anything other than him giving out vague notes that he couldn't otherwise describe.

This is what Harry's collaborators have to say about him:

"The other thing that happened with me not being there at first was that Harry got to lead the room. He didn’t have to sit there and constantly feel like he’s got to defer to me. Harry was the boss. And they all just bonded so hard and it just became the dream scenario, and everyone contributed in such a fantastic way. (...) I wanted it to be something that Harry really felt was his baby, making his creative mark. With me, if it comes from the artist, that’s the best thing. If it’s real, people are going to know it’s real. (...) I’m hopeful that we’re gonna do many more albums—this is just the beginning. But I thought it was really important to set the tone of, “We’re gonna do exactly what’s in your heart, Harry.” (...) And what a luxury to have Mitch and Ryan, where they could come up with an idea and it could just be tracked and sound like a record instantly. And that’s how “Sign of the Times” happened. Harry was playing it on the piano and we fleshed it out a little bit. Then he jumped on the mic, I played piano and we cut that whole record in three hours."

Jeff Bhasker, producer of HS1

"He had asked for a specific guitar, which I loved. He knew my music well enough to request a specific sound from a specific instrument. I got there and he said, 'Let's eat.' We ordered food, we sat, we talked, we laughed. (...) And then we went in and spent the day recording. When I watched Harry track his vocals, it was a singing lesson in its own way."

Ben Harper, who played guitar on Boyfriends.

"One of my favorite parts of the session was after the session, because as I was loading out all my gear Harry invited me to stick around because he wanted to finish the song right then and there. To get to watch Harry in his process was eye-opening, and I learned a lot. He orchestrated the vocal harmonies like a classical composer, spot on, note for note. He just stacked them perfectly in pitch, one better than the next, and it was really eye-opening to see somebody step on the mic and have the parts orchestrated in his head. I’ve never seen anything like it. actually."

More of Ben Harper

“Day one, we’re writing a song, and [Harry] came up with this piano part. And then I was like, ‘Oh, that could be faster. And you could do this chord, and we could do this.’ ” That evolved into “Late Night Talking,”

Kid Harpoon, producer of Fine Line and Harry's House

We recorded the song at Rob Stringer’s house in England. We moved all the furniture out and put a drum kit in the TV room. “As It Was” was done in that setup. Harry came in with a riff idea, and we ran with it. It’s a funny one because it happened so quickly that I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to recreate that magic again — it was just so good. Lyrically, what I love about Harry on this whole album, is that he has a lot to say but he can tease meaning. What’s going on in his life is intertwined in that song, and in that line, “Harry, you’re no good alone.” I love the way he built the lyrics across his whole record, so when I think about “As It Was” I think about the whole album, to be honest.

More from Kid Harpoon

I could go on...

If Louis isn't interested in that sort of thing, that's fine. He doesn't have to be an involved songwriter. But then his fans should act accordingly. The Hags, specifically, who continue to pedal this idea that Harry is dumb, a puppet, who takes credit for his producers ideas, who can't explain the songwriting process. The projecting is off the charts. And it's why I needed to include this section about Harry.

There's actually a final part to this series, which is analyzing his lyrics. I thought I might be able to put it in this post, but it's already long enough, so I'm going to split it.

But bottom line, there isn't a single musical bone in Louis' body. He's not curious or interested in music, clearly. He got lucky he got put in a band because his looks fit what the producers of the X Factor were looking for. And he got lucky that his bandmates were charismatic, naturally talented, and also good-looking.

He could perfect his voice, he could learn instruments, he could study music. He could do something to improve. He's had the time, the money, and the resources for a very long time. The fact that in almost 15 years he hasn't, isn't just telling of his lack of natural talent, but also of his own lazy personality.

[icycoldninja]

hihi!! may i pretty please request some sparda boys + v x musician reader, preferably a pianist or vocalist? would greatly appreciate it i love love love your hcs so much

Yup yup, here you go!

Sparda boys + V x Musician!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

Oh, you've hit the jackpot. Dante loves listening to and playing music; the fact that you're a musician makes it all better.

-Hopefully you play the drums, bass guitar, keyboard, or something like that because Dante rocks the electric guitar.

-If you're a singer, great, Dante will try to start up a 2-person band.

-It probably won't work, but he doesn't care, he just wants an excuse to hang out with his favorite person.

-You and Dante will have a blast jamming together in the lobby of Devil May Cry, pissing off all your neighbors, upsetting Vergil, and scaring off any potential clients.

-You two are an incredibly loud and badass duo, whose music career will probably never take off, but whatever, you only make music because it's fun.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil is a sophisticated man who appreciates the finer things in life, like classical music.

-He plays the violin himself, so if you play something equally elegant such as the piano, flute, cello, or something like that, he would love it.

-You two could also have jam sessions, except more refined and delicate.

-If you're a good singer, that would be so cool because then Vergil could hav someone sing lyrics while he plays the violin. Of course, he'll have to write the lyrics, (poetry skills finally paying off) but that's just more fun.

-If you happen to play the flute or trumpet very well, you can scare the crap out of Dante by playing mystical music in the middle of the night, making him wonder if Devil May Cry is haunted.

-Or you could serenade Vergil with magical fairytale music and possibly lull him to sleep in the process--whatever works for you.

□ Nero □

-Nero likes heavy metal music with lots of drums, so if you know how to play those, great for you.

-He actually knows a little bit about operating a synthesizer, but nothing more. If you could teach him, that'd be nice.

-He'd love to pick up guitar, but he's way too rough with it and his fingers aren't delicate enough for picking. He actually snapped a couple of strings the first time he tried.

-Nero is also a pretty decent singer. He doesn't have the vocal chords of Freddy Mercury, but he can at least hit high notes pretty well.

-If you are also blessed with awesome singing skills, expect regular karoeke dates, where you and Nero rock out to metal songs, rock songs, and occasionally love ballads.

-Honestly, you two have a better chance at succeeding in the music industry than anyone else mentioned on this list. You two just need a guitarist, maybe a bassist, and you're set.

● V ●

-V, being part of Vergil, enjoys classical music more than anything else--but that doesn't mean he dislikes other types of music.

-V has a secret fascination with pop songs that he just can't understand. Perhaps it's because he's never heard such music before, maybe it's because he just likes the bouncy beats, or maybe it's because he's just a dork.

-Since he is a competent poet, he can easily write lyrics for you, should you happen to be a singer.

-He would love to learn the piano, so if you are able to play, please teach him.

-If you play a string instrument like a violin, guitar, or something like that, V would love to just sit and watch you practice. It's oddly calming.

-If you can play the flute, tuba, or some other similar instrument, he will enjoy observing you play.

[lesbianscxlly]

What's your favorite headcanons you've heard for Scully and Mulder?

OOO i have quite a few

i know she’s canonically an irish catholic but i like to imagine that margaret scully was originally from northern ireland and moved to the us in her late teens!! i also believe that scully is very fluent in irish gaelic

scully has an INSANE sleeper build. she works out in canon and i just know she can deadlift like 200 pounds. she’s also a lot stronger than she assumes she is so she’ll playfully slap mulder and he’ll fall over

(ik these are like all scully im sorry) scully grew up on punk and rock music bc of william and bill jr so she listens to a lot of that but she also really likes some folk music because of her mom

expanding on the music one both scully and mulder really like new wave/goth and always have some band playing in the background when they’re working

both of them love horror movies and sometimes they’ll play one on the projector instead of working (they got caught by skinner once)

in htgsc scully got mulder the ufo fish bubbler we see in all things and he got her that translucent deck of cards with a slice of the human body on each one (i think vsauce made them)

scully grew up poor and had to help bill provide for the family when their dad was away

SCULLY IS SOUTHERN!! how could i forget my literally fav headcanon of all time is that scully spent most of her childhood in tennessee (her dad is from new orleans to me)

mulder has a very slight boston accent and the two of them sometimes make fun of eachothers southern/new england accents

scully isn’t very good at anything artistic because it’s very hard for her to stop rationalizing everything while mulder is actually pretty good when he tries

before joining the fbi scully was planning on becoming on epidemiologist, mulder was planning on being a child psychologist or social worker

sometimes i write scully having bpd but tbh that’s not based on anything i just like having my own versions of characters

they’re both autistic

AROMANTIC SCULLY!! ASEXUAL MULDER!!

i don’t think they ever started explicitly ‘dating’ they just got more and more romantic with eachother till they were basically in a relationship

they still think of eachother as their bestfriends than the romantic partner because that’s the most important part of their relationship

ik this is basically canon but whenever scully experiences an emotion or situation that is uncomfortable she resorts to anger while mulder resorts to shame (i believe scullys character is built on first fear and second anger while mulders is built on first love and second shame)

scully used to be really close to bill but they grew apart because neither of them are good at communicating or compromising (i also believe that her and bill are very similar)

scully played ice hockey and did jrotc and mulder played baseball and did theatre

my hcs for their families separate lives/professions

charlee (lee) scully: has a phd in computer science from ucla, giant nerd

melissa scully: art teacher at a catholic school

samantha (sadie) mulder: music major, plays mainly bass guitar and stand up bass, also great at the cello. had lots of jobs but is now a highschool chamber orchestra teacher

ok that’s a lot sorry if this is egregiously ooc i think too much

[retroghouls-if]

THE STORY

Music has always been a part of you.

You could hold a bow (violin/viola/cello) before you could hold a pencil. Unfortunately, life has catapulted you into a downward spiral. Your college band disintegrates. A close friendship goes up in flames. You’re doing nothing with your life. Death and a personal betrayal have left you bereft. You have never felt more worthless. Everything culminates on the night of your sister’s wedding when you drunkenly form a Faustian contract with the entity that haunts your apartment.

For better and for worse, you are now destined for greatness.

The devil has but one thing to ask in return: absolute domination. You are to conquer anything and everything through the power of good ol’ fashioned rock n’ roll. And you’re not alone. Armed with friends (new and old), a new band, and quite literal hellspawn to help, you are going to conquer the world.

Not because it’s what you want, but because failure is not an option.

Not for any of you.

CONTENT WARNINGS

Retroghouls is intended for mature 18+ audiences for dark topics including abuse, violence, explicit language and sexual content, and more.

FEATURES

Customize your MC from their physical appearance, personality, sexuality to their musical background (violin, viola, or cello), familial relationships, and more.

Choose your band’s concept and determine its overarching message. Is your group activist, a sex symbol, or a harbinger of destruction? Will you tell your fans that they’re not alone? Will you challenge them to persevere no matter what? Or will you encourage them to burn it all down?

Manage your newfound inspiration and the cornucopia of side effects that come with it.

Protect the anonymity of you and your bandmates.

Outwit a demon or two – if you play your cards right.

Romance a cast of troubled individuals.

Make objectively terrible decisions! Ruin lives! Or don’t. You will face the consequences of your actions either way.

ROMANTIC INTERESTS

Camille ‘Ilim’ Vaughan [she/her or he/him] is the drummer of your new group. Having been involved in the music industry for over a decade, they are a person who invokes a myriad of opinions. Both beloved and reviled, Ilim themselves operate in extremes. They make no effort to hide their agenda. So the question follows – what part will you play in the reckoning? [MORE]

Tuesday ‘Needle’ Nelson [he/him or she/her] is the bass of your band’s guitar trio. So, whether it is during concerts, midnight comp sessions, or just casual riffing at hq, they are always close by. Music has always been their one true love and so they’re determined to pour their blood, sweat, and tears into this project. Tuesday has very little else otherwise. [MORE]

Micky Monroe [she/her or he/him] You two took orchestra together in high school and haven’t given a passing thought towards one another since your graduation performance. Now, courtesy your prodigious manager, Micky & Archangels are the feature on your upcoming album. Once the album is done, you’ll surely fade from one another’s lives just like before. Both of you agree, it’ll be just like before. [MORE]

Jack/Jackie Graves [he/him or she/her] is the heart of your PR team, coordinating with managers, publicists, and social media specialists to ensure no unnecessary information about the band leaks. Your privacy is their bread and butter. Your security pays their bills. Don’t mistake their friendliness. Don’t mistake their kindness. It’s just common business to look out for one’s best interests.