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demonslayedher · 1 year ago

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Karaoke Headcanons: Pillars, Kamaboko, Demons, and more

This all started when Kagaya felt the need to go out and do something with his family. (Actually, it all started with doing Tumblr polls about which Pillars would be the best and worst singers.)This was odd, as the Ubuyashiki family is not in the habit of family outings. The children were all cautiously excited to go to an arcade or something, but Kagaya is old-fashioned so he took them all out to karaoke. (Taisho Secret: Karaoke did not exist in the Taisho period. let me have my fun. These are entirely my own silly headcanons.) The children were shy at first because they aren't good at letting loose, but once their father smilingly encouraged them to have fun, they got really into singing TV theme songs, which quickly devolved into them acting out scenes from Power Rangers. Amane can only sing very classic, droning enka. Really deep enka. Kagaya tells them they all did a wonderful job, and then he sings some simple 1970s love ballads and the energy all falls away because the rest of the family is so relaxed hearing his voice. It was a refreshing outing, so Kagaya decides to cut the next Pillar meeting short to send all the Pillars out for karaoke together.

A few of the Pillars are grumpy about this but will not say no to a request from Kagaya. Himejima would really rather go home and sleep. When Sanemi starts to complain that he's too busy for this, Shinobu guilts him into staying but saying how he can't imagine him being so busy with only training if he's not also making poison and running a hospital. Iguro stays in the corner happy to watch Mitsuri when she's in the spotlight, but since he's in the corner and she's staying at the other side of the room to have easy access to the door to go back for more soft drinks at the free drink far, he's frustrated by seeing her more easily talk to Giyuu, who is sitting by the door because he was the last one in. Uzui has a set way of doing karaoke. Certain songs he must always sing or it didn't count as a karaoke session. He insists his warm-up songs don't count as turns. There are songs he hates other people singing with him even though they are ones people usually belt out together, but he gets angry when people don't provide the chorus voices like the "DA-DA-DAT-DA" parts of "Zankyosanka." He makes a bunch of weird adjustments to the volume and pitch settings and just leaves it like that so anyone going after him always has to readjust everything. He and his wives go out to karaoke together a lot and they have a wide repertoire of songs they do together and in different pairings and trios, but in any other group, he does not care about anyone else having fun. He's kind of a pain in the ass to have around in a big group. That said, Giyuu really likes watching and listening to Uzui perform.

Shinobu gives the impression of being a very skilled singer, but that's because she doesn't overdo it and she only sings songs that are within her range and suit her voice well, like "From The Edge." She has sometimes done karaoke by herself to try out new songs she likes, but she is quick to determine when they are out of her skill set. She doesn't push and shove for her turns, and she does take some satisfaction in colleagues complimenting her singing voice. Mitsuri and Rengoku are very enthusiastic in their praise, Muichiro comments in full sincerity that it was nice (but also, he doesn't remember what the point of all this was), and Uzui, who can spot all her restrained methods just by listening, begrudgingly admits she has nice pitch.

Mitsuri knows a lot of popular songs. She's a nice person to have in a karaoke group because she makes an effort to include people by picking songs everyone will enjoy or that a lot of people can sing together. She does not have a wide range of pitch, but she's very good at singing a lot of different kinds of songs in her own pitch. "Koi Kogare" is her favorite lately. Because she is in a position to move around the front of the room easily, she is usually quick to zoom in when Uzui is done singing to change the settings back to volumes and pitches that are more normal for anyone else. Shinobu and Mitsuri have a bit of a bet going on Giyuu. Shinobu suspects he is either a surprisingly good singer, or a really bad one. It's just a matter of picking the right song for him to test him out, as he is not reaching for the controls to put in anything for himself. Shinobu finally pokes him into trying "Gurenge" because "everyone knows Gurenge," so he relents, because he has heard it and sung along here and there. He's always liked that song because it played a lot in a diner where he likes to eat simmered salmon and daikon. Thing is, Gurenge is not an easy song. Everyone is shocked by how terrible he is on the first few lines, and Mitsuri is very disappointed because she had really high hopes for him to be a good singer. Giyuu can't hear quite how bad his pitch was at first, but after a few lines, he finds the right pitch. He's downright not bad after that, though he was flat here and there and had trouble hitting the high notes. Because Muichiro doesn't know what to sing, Mitsuri has been trying to help him find something he knows, and just when she thinks it might be hopeless, he says "Kizuna no Kiseki" seems familiar. Yes, he's heard that song somewhere. He knows it. Maybe. Mitsuri is thrilled, and because she knows it too, she says she'll back him up on it. Everyone cheers, and Muichiro does know the first few lines! He knows them really well, actually, and his pitch is pretty okay, and still childlike! But... but then he doesn't sing some of his lines, or he'll just sing a few words here and there... at... random... as they come back to him... Shinobu tries to help by pointing out that the lyrics are on the screen, so he doesn't have to have it memorized, but little by little he just zones out and Mitsuri is stuck singing it all herself, increasingly disappointed and embarrassed, because it feels like she's hogging the mic now. No one minds (except Uzui, who feels they should had just ended the song early if Muichiro didn't know it after all). Himejima is not unwilling to sing, but the problem is that his tastes are not popular enough to be in the sound bank. He hogged the controls for a long time, searching (with Sanemi's help) for anything he likes or at least knows enough to sing. He starts getting more and more frustrated, because there are songs he really does know very well as he does have a deep appreciation for music. Mitsuri suggests they just turn the system volume down as low as they can and let him sing something a cappella. He smiles and then drones on with something akin to Gregorian chant. Uzui is as patient as he can be but then he insists that they're running out of karaoke time by letting Himejima do something that is not karaoke (also, he can tell Himejima has a very long song in mind). Himejima is somewhat miffed. His singing isn't bad, but he knows he'd show them a much better performance if he had his shakuhachi.

Iguro, in the corner, has been hoping no one has noticed him not singing. But he's also kind of indignant that no one has noticed.

Sanemi has brushed off attempts to get him to sing, which makes Shinobu suspect that he is either a very good or a very bad singer. Rather than get him to sing, she instead engages him in conversation to try to fish out of him what songs he likes. She suspects he likes a lot of songs that have gotten popular for being tearjerkers, and she suspects he sings them with full sincerity, if he ever happens to sing along. But maybe he just listens. He also seems to like rap, and he starts to perk up like maybe he'd be willing to perform some, but Shinobu would prefer not to listen to rap so she finds some reason to disengage from the conversation.

Rengoku has been very enthusiastically cheering everyone on, including banging tambourines with no sense of rhythm (Uzui has forbidden him to touch them during his songs). He admits he's not much of a singer and doesn't have much of an ear for pitch, but there are a few songs he knows well enough to try. Everyone of course encourages him to go for it, as it will probably be a good laugh for everyone, including Rengoku, but then he starts looking up "Homura."

It's one that he has heard a lot because his mother liked it, he explains. Sanemi is nodding along, saying it's a good song, and Shinobu suspects it might be one of Sanemi's favorites. Rengoku apologizes, saying he'll probably butcher it, and he can never find the right pitch at first, and Sanemi nods, saying how it's hard to find the pitch until the song gets going. Shinobu is so sure now.

Rengoku takes the mic, and everyone is ready for some terrible noise they can laugh about for ages to come, but then Rengoku sings. "Sayonara... arigato... koe no kagiri..." It's so low that he's hard to hear unless everyone is quiet. It's a rich timbre, but quiet like a prayer whispered into the mic.

"Kanashimi yori motto... daiji na koto..." The next couple lines go on in the same fashion. With his eyes closed, Rengoku is fully focused on the song, with no idea about the wonder with which everyone else is captivated.

As the song picks up, though, Rengoku has found his pitch.

"KONO! MAMA! TSU-DU-KU TO OMO!TTEITA!!!"

"No!! No, damn it, Rengoku, you almost had it!" Uzui shouts with his hands over his ears. Sanemi is nearly as upset. "Belting it isn't singing it, man!! Tone it down!!"

"YOBIAAA-TEI---What do you mean, Shinazugawa?"

"Yes, show him what you mean," Shinobu insists and sticks the other mic in Sanemi's hands. With people cheering (it started with Iguro, who was taking some pleasure in seeing Sanemi put on the spot, and then others joined in), Sanemi, beet red, has no choice but to take over just in time to find his pitch for the chorus.

And he's really not bad. Everyone cheers more, especially Mitsuri. Rengoku has totally forgotten about singing and stands there next to Sanemi, stating into the mic how good Sanemi is at this.

Little by little, though, Sanemi gets too into it. He starts pushing the emotional side of it, going past the better reaches of his pitch, and then by the "o-whoa-o-o" part he has lost himself to singing by emotion rather than better judgement. Everyone's kind of over it, and Rengoku, who is still holding the mic, finally joins him in butchering the last part. They don't have much time left when Mitsuri finally notices that Iguro never had a turn. He says that's fine, he prefers just watching, but now that Sanemi had his turn to be put on the spot, he's not letting Iguro get off easy. Mitsuri squeezes her way over to that side of the room to sit close to Iguro and go through the song bank with him. This is both wonderful and awful; he does not want to sing (especially because he won't sing well with bandages on his face, and even if he takes them off... well, still not likely to sing well), but if Mitsuri offers to sing with him----oh, if she sings with him, then maybe it's ok if his voice just fades out and she takes over! He tells her he can only sing something soft. She thinks that is so-o-o-o-o cute and sweet, so when he tells her to pick something out, she picks the sweetest song she can think of: "Kamado Tanjiro no Uta."

She pushes him to the front and is so flushed and excited to watch him that the thought doesn't even occur to her to stand up and join him. She just stares with a big expectant smile and glimmering eyes. And then Iguro suffers, through a long, repetitive song about someone he hates.

Everyone else suffers too, because his voice is muffled, low, clearly unpracticed, and unsuited for the high notes. Everyone just kind of sits around politely and awkwardly. During the flute solos, Himejima really, really wishes he had his shakuhachi. Muichiro audibly asks why Iguro doesn't just stop, but that brings out Iguro's stubborn side and he sings all the way to end, just glaring around the room for the instrumental parts. Mitsuri apologizes later for bullying him into singing it because it clearly made him very uncomfortable to sing in front of people, and he insists that there is nothing to apologize for, for she was just making sure he had fun too. She asks if he means that, and he insists, yes, he loves that song. He insists and will deck anybody who suggests otherwise.

With that, the Pillars have run out of time. Uzui used most of it.

----

So then there comes another day when Tanjiro and friends have finished a mission up easily, and since they are all doing fine with no injuries, there is no need to rush back to the Butterfly Mansion. Why rush just to make Nezuko have to stay in the shadows? No, suggests Zenitsu, they should go somewhere that is already save from sunlight in the daytime so she can have fun with everyone. They should go to karaoke!

Actually, Zenitsu has been practicing romantic ballads for her, but the only way he can get her there is to pretend it's a group thing. Zenitsu tries to make it seem like that at first, giving other a chance to sing. He puts on Gurenge, because everyone knows Gurenge, right? He looks to Tanjiro, who happily assures him that he knows Gurenge, and he really likes that song. Good, good, so Tanjiro can take a turn first, and he gives him one mic, and then they might as well keep Inosuke busy right away so he doesn't get impatient, so he gives the other mic to Inosuke. He turns around to make some volume and pitch adjustments on the sound system, but then he hears the most HORRID NOISE. After the initial shock he looks back around to see Tanjiro "singing" and Inosuke trying to eat the mic.

No! No, no, no, bad, Zenitsu scolds him and takes the mic. He quickly exchanges it for a new one. Since they just got there he tells the staff it was broken in the first place, but he Thunderclap and Flashes his way back to the room before the staff can ask why it's all wet.

When Zenitsu returns he finds Tanjiro still "singing." He gives the new mic to Kanao, and she does nothing with it. Zenitsu awkwardly tells her she can jump in whenever she wants to and he'll just tell Tanjiro to shut up. She's probably got a good singing voice, after all.

Kanao pulls out her coin. She flips it. She looks at the result, puts the coin, and then continues holding the mic and otherwise doing nothing.

Zenitsu isn't sure how else he's supposed to engage with Kanao, so he leaves her be and snags the mic out of Tanjiro's hands to insist he gives someone else a turn (and give everyone's ears a break). Zenitsu, being a good host (or at least look like one), he offers the mic to Genya and smiles and says it's his turn.

Genya, arms folded, scowls at him and says he's not singing and this is stupid.

Zenitsu isn't sure how else he's supposed to engage with Genya either, so backs away. Gurenge winds down to a close with no one singing it anymore. But oh, would you look at that! It's a super romantic song coming up next, and it happens to be Zenitsu's turn! He picked this song out especially for Nezuko--a duet will have to wait for someday when she doesn't need to wear the bamboo, of course, but in the meantime, he shall serenade her--

Tanjiro apologizes, because Nezuko is fast asleep. But Tanjiro is happy to sing with Zenitsu.

Inosuke, meanwhile, has discovered the free drink bar. The gang is promptly kicked out and banned from that karaoke chain.

The Lower Moons aren't invited to the karaoke party, but Mukago works at a karaoke place (not all demons can find work as oiran, after all). Kyogai tries to come sometimes but she always lies to him that all the rooms are full. Enmu works there too, and he spends all his time with his ear pressed to the door and wishing he could be invited in to sing too.

Muzan is in the biggest, snazziest party room with the Upper Moons. He sings a few very classy oldies here and there, but of course only ones that make him sound really good. Douma insists that he should sing Michael Jackson, but Muzan only glares at him for trying to tell him what to do. (Plus, he's touchy about anyone accusing him of stealing the look.)

Kokushibo sings whatever old folk songs are in the song bank, but he is overly serious about songs which now feel dated or just for children. His performance is really dry and monotone, but no one can complain. Muzan can, but he chooses not to because Kokushibo is a good subordinate.

Since Muzan isn't going to, Douma sings Michael Jackson songs on every turn he gets. Hantengu is really nervous about how Muzan looks more and more annoyed about it, but Gyokko is swept up enough that he duets with Douma on some of them. Douma recreates a Vine by banging on Gyokko's vase while singing the "Annie are you ok" line.

They have ordered tons of food for their party. Since they have a Lower Moon working there, the food is of course all freshly chopped up humans. Akaza sneers at it and doesn't want to be there. Douma is bugging him to sing, and he barks at him to back off, but when Kokushibo gets on his case about not disappointing their master, Akaza relents. He puts on Linkin Park. If he was alone, he'd sing "Homura" instead.

Hantengu has a nervous breakdown when it's his turn to entertain Muzan, so he falls apart into four pieces. They all start arguing about what to sing, but Sekido sees Muzan is getting impatient and he gets them all in line to start singing Backstreet Boys. Karaku complains that N*Sync is better.

Gyokko doesn't get a turn to pick a song. No one gives him one. He's stuck just singing backup for Douma, or being used as percussion.

Daki is a very frequent karaoke goer. She's got a very wide repertoire. As soon as she's in the room, she logs into the system with an avatar decked out in fancy accessories, and she competes in all the national singing contests. She gets very frustrated by the singers out there who consistently outscore her, and sometimes, Gyutaro has tracked those people down and killed them. Gyutaro likes the lyrics of "Asa ga Kuru" and wishes he could sing that for Daki someday, but clearly that will never happen so he keeps that wish to himself. He does not sing, and no one ever pushes him to sing because they don't want to hear it anyway. He's happiest seeing Daki rock it instead.

Nakime is there too because she's cooler than Enmu, who is still waiting outside the door and lip-syncing to everything. Nakime, however, is not singing. She's just there to judge everyone.

At some point, Douma did something right by putting on Bohemian Rhapsody. Everybody's into it; partway through they even make Zouhakuten take on the role of the poor boy, though he sings it in a pretty hateful tone.

Muzan eventually gets sick of it before the song is done, and he trashes the place, and he leaves. Mukago is stuck cleaning everything up by herself because Enmu is no help. The end.

---

Meanwhile, Murata does a lot of hitori-karaoke (karaoke by himself). The Kakushi sometimes have pretty normal karaoke outings. Yushiro would be more than willing to go if Tamayo ever showed any drop of interest, but she does not. There are one or two Wisteria houses with karaoke rooms. Taisho Secret: Karaoke did not exist in the Taisho period.

#headcanons? Nah #this turned into #my fics #kny silliness

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