#i actually really love how this came out. maybe i AM a good artist sometimes

[razzafrazzle]

Just Checking In! (aka Something About Red Triangles)

[writing-for-life]

Writing Is The Loneliest Art...

A couple of days ago, this piece of art with a Neil Gaiman quote flickered across my desktop, and it made me think, so longish post about writing, mental health and human connection ahead..

The actual quote says:

The hardest part of being a writer is that you get lonely. It's just you and the stuff in your head and nobody else can do it for you.

I used to be a performer. I spent a good 10 years of my life in theatres and on stage. That can be lonely, too, but in very different ways. You find a "family" for a short while, and then the show is over, and you all disperse to heaven-knows-where again. Some of these friendships last, others don't, but even the ones that do are hard to maintain because of the nature of the job (if you a very lucky, your paths may cross again for another show).

But the difference, to me, was that I had a physical outlet. That's also stressful in many ways, and being a performer is hard and emotionally taxing (plus, the industry sometimes makes you want to vomit). But it is a very different feeling to channel creative energy into something that is physical.

When I write, I only have the words in my head and the blank page; if I am lucky, the words will come out in a way that stops the page from being blank. And although I wrote "Writing Is The Loneliest Art" as a headline, I imagine this must be quite similar for visual/graphic artists.

I was a writer before I was a performer. I came back to my first love, and I wouldn't want it any other way. Writing always was, and still is, the most truthful form of creative expression for me. I am also lucky enough not to have to earn an income with it (although I do) because I have a job that takes care of that (and thankfully one that comes in handy for character development and world building). But it is very easy to become trapped in your head and thoughts, to stop engaging with the life that is out there. And that life is important--for inspiration, for self-care, for human connection. To break these connections, knowingly or unknowingly, is a real issue for many writers. If I am not careful, it happens to me, too. I have a family, and I am constantly teetering on the edge of spending time in my head or with the blank page when I should be present with them. I can snap myself out of it, but it is not always easy to do, and most writers can probably relate. Because thoughts are thoughts and ideas are ideas. They don't care when they pop into your head, and they will try to claim space, whether the moment is "right" or not.

I have a self-care routine in place to prevent myself from getting trapped in my own head (that's maybe for another post), but it takes effort and constant reminders to get up from my desk, get out, get fresh air and move. Because I'd rather be in my head and write. I am an introvert, like many writers, but that's not a big blanket permission to stop connecting with life. Introversion and loneliness are not one and the same, and writers (everyone really) need to understand the difference. You need to pick up that phone, see people and surround yourself with humans from time to time for your own sake. Not just through your job. You need humans around you whom you truly connect with.

But back to different art forms: As a performer, I had the direct interaction with my fellow performers, and with my audience. I cannot stress enough how important the latter is, and I have said this on here many times: Art comes alive through interaction and communication. It connects us through shared humanity. And there are art forms out there that take care of that connection by default--I have felt the difference, and it is profound.

Yes, we can still write or create art as a form of processing emotions, and from a psychological viewpoint, this is healing and helpful.

But art needs to be both created and experienced. Every art ultimately becomes meaningless without the viewer/reader/audience. Art is never a one-way street.

Writers tell stories, but these stories don't exist in a vacuum. They exist because we can't help writing them, and we would always do it anyway, but they also exist because we want you to read them. And it means something to us to know they moved you, made you laugh, made you cry, made you find out something about yourself you didn't know yet, or they just helped you forget about the troubles you are going through for a little while.

So if you appreciate art forms that don't have direct audience interaction, let the artists know you did. It is not annoying us. We are happy about it. Most of us want that communication. And writers probably need it most...

[n7punk]

What’s your beef with Spotify?

It's less beef and more just a product I don't like - because that's what Spotify is, a product. They really don't want you to think of it that way, but at the end of the day it's particularly invasive product packaging around the thing you actually want to listen to, and there are dozens of different ways to listen to music. As far as gripes, though, number 1 is that it doesn't really pay its artists for shit and its objectively kind of shitty audio-quality wise (I'm not a snob on this, but depending on your hardware it can be especially crunchy while other things like Youtube sound just fine). Number 2 is how much it spies on you and tracks your data. Number 3 is the ads. Number 4, and the actual reason I will never use it, is that it's the enshittification of media consumption.

I do, actually, have a Spotify account. I used it for all of a day before never logging in again or verifying my email. Spotify forces you to experience music the way it wants you to, with absolutely no benefit aside from cloud syncing cross-platform for your playlists that I don't actually need, and I'm used to the freedom from the dawn of the accessible mp3 era.

Better Kind Of Best Friend is a single. I bought it as part of the entire The Sex Was Good Until It Wasn't album, so it came with the album artwork. I wanted it to have its single artwork - so I changed it. And now, in MusicBee and on my phone, I see the single artwork because it's in the file metadata. Spotify doesn't give you that option. It's a little thing, maybe, except when it isn't, like when a song's cover art is graphic or otherwise upsetting to look at, or just plain doesn't fit it.

Sometimes I don't agree with a song's "official" genre (usually because the entire album classifies the songs one way while they actually span genres). The range of things that are classified as indie rock is insane. Anyway, other times I use the genre more specifically, such as "Dark Pop", which isn't actually a thing but if I played you Dark Pop songs you would understand what I mean. In MusicBee, I can change genres to be whatever I want, which is important for various auto-playlists in filtering.

I also have a custom tag for any sapphic songs that automatically populates my lesbian love auto-playlist as they're defined, and another playlist that automatically adds all music from my custom-defined list of queer artists to the "Gay Life" playlist. When I buy a new Reinaeiry song, it automatically gets added without me having to do anything.

I can't listen to demos or any music that Spotify has lost licensing to on it, which means that if I want a complete playlist with a demo song on it, I have to have all those songs exported anyway, and at that point why am I bothering to split my listening across platforms? Idk if you heard, but Spotify lost licensing to a giant catalogue of Kpop music at one point because one company pulled out, and all those listeners were fucked. I don't have to wait for an artist to upload their shit to Spotify (although right now I am waiting for Reinaeiry to put Too Sweet up for download - pls queen - this is luckily more rare of an occurrence than me seeing "please add this to Spotify" comments is).

I like music I can keep forever, listen to whenever, and do so without ads or paying three figures a year to hear uninterrupted. I'd rather buy one album a month with the Spotify premium money than pay for it. I like creating folder after subfolder worth of an unlimited number of playlists (admittedly idr if Spotify allows this feature. It varies by online listening platforms and I don't bother to track the ones I don't use). I like being able to drag and drop my playlists from MusicBee into iTunes to instantly listen to them on my phone (and thus cross-play isn't a concern for me as long as I remember to synch my phone). I like the feature of being able to instantly and permanently adjust the volume, as well as the beginning and end point, of any single song I chose (super helpful for when certain albums are inexplicably quieter/louder than others or have a stupid incongruous music or dialogue part in them).

If I want to listen to something without actually getting it, then I do it on Youtube, which has a wider music selection with more control. Don't like album art? Find a lyric video upload with a generic nebula background. Weird movie sample at the beginning? Someone might have cut that out in their upload (shoutout to the person who turned DICTATOR into a part 1 and 2 to match the two different mood halves), but otherwise Sponsorblock will skip the non-music segments. The only downside of Youtube versus Spotify is I can't share the playlists without exposing my name, but again I actually create those playlists in MusicBee 99% of the time so I wouldn't be sharing a link anyway.

[fishuus]

hi!! Your art is incredible and awesome... not sure how to say it otherwise but it's super tasty looking lol 🫶

I was wondering if you have ever posted what brushes do you use ? I am always on the lookout for nice brushes! Also if you've got any tips for inking, I'd appreciate it enormously. No worries if not! 💕

hi, thanks so much!

i mostly just use whatever defaults came with clip studio paint. for inking, my go-to is the the default marker pen brush (under the marker tab in pens), but sometimes i'll swap to the calligraphy one (should be in the pen tab), or this brush but with the pen pressure turned off. just depends on how i'm feeling about whatever i'm inking. when i want to add some texturing when toning, i use stuff like the spray or diagonal line brushes (again, should be included in CSP), i just make an eraser version of them so i can also use them on layer masks.

as for inking tips ... i don't have any hard and fast "always do x for y" advice but i rambled a little about how i approach it.

this first point is actually pretty straightforward, it's just to look at inking techniques by artists you like, think about what makes them work so well in their context, and try them out for yourself. this isn't about plagiarizing art styles but more about understanding how other artists choose to stylize certain things in their work, and seeing what works and what doesn't for you personally. sometimes it's through looking at other people's stylizations that you get a better understanding of how you want to approach translating this actual 3d object (people, clothes, background details, whatever) into your own art as well. as you try out various techniques, maybe you find that some of them work well with your own style, and some of them don't and you stop incorporating those. it's all a constant work in progress. over time you can adjust how you use them in a way that fits your own drawing methods and workflows and they just start to come more naturally to you. of course, they may and should change a lot along the way because now it's something that's part of your own style. work on developing a good eye for these things and be thoughtful about what you want to convey and how.

just as an example, daiya no ace by terajima yuji definitely has to be up there for me in terms of influences, the way he approached body lines and clothing folds as a way to convey movement and posing made a lightbulb turn on in my head back when i was still reading it.

not a comprehensive list, but other manga i just like looking at off the top of my head - rookies (morita masanori), anything by yamashita tomoko but i really recommend the night beyond the tricornered window for something that's easily accessible, anything by asada nemui (please check for content warnings for their works first though!), all-rounder meguru (endo hiroki), urasawa naoki's works, dungeon meshi (kui ryoko), witch hat atelier (shirahama kamome), yotsuba&! (azuma kiyohiko), a bride's story (mori kaoru), i recollect love (moegi yukue), the later works of tojitsuki hajime (unfortunately a lot of is now out of print and not accessible online but i managed to get all their books bc their commitment to crosshatching shaved heads each time impressed me so much LMAOSJDsd) etc, etc.

this second thing is much vaguer and harder to quantify but ... honestly just draw a lot and see what feels good to your hand. inking and art styles in general are fluid things. so much of what inking comes down to, to me, is just drawing the lines that in a way that feels good to me. that only really comes from doing it a lot (not saying i'm a hardcore artist or anything lol just that i've been drawing on and off for a while now) and, well, getting a sense of what you like doing. sometimes you might look at a detail you finished that looks really good but feels like a happy accident, and it kinda is, but it's also just as much of the things you've internalized over time. combining the first point (developing your eye and a sense of thoughtfulness about inking) and the second (getting experience through developing your muscle memory) is basically it.

idk if any of this made sense lol but hope some of it helps!!!!!

[crystallinestars]

FR I feel that if you tossed the Genshin guys into a romance sim, it would actually be pretty legit-looking. Now if only there were some sort of actual Genshin otome game 😭 (if I could romance Kaveh in such a game, I think I would die and go to heaven)

Yeahhh I feel that there is such a pattern among male and female characters. Like for female characters, I guess that the ones who are kind of more… “male-gazey” are less likely to be popular with women? Like in terms of both appearance and personality. Though even this is difficult to define. Ladies like Beidou and Dehya seem to be REALLY popular with girls, at least in the west (if I am wrong tho plz correct me). Even Navia (whose design I suppose shows a lot of skin) seems to be well-liked by guys and girls alike, I follow a girl on here who is absolutely crazy for her (and tbh I am no different 😭). To me I guess that for these three, they’re good role models for girls so that contributes to their appeal to women players? Cos they have strong, confident attitudes and kick hella ass, but they’re also kind + beautiful… so I suppose they’re like, people you could admire on an aesthetic and personal level but also you could aspire to be like them.

To be fair I like Lisa as I remember running around as her a lot when I first started playing (and chatting with her cai bot gets wild sometimes cos she’s always calling me out for like low self esteem, bad mentality, etc 😭😭), in general I like all of the girl characters ahahahah though for Lisa and many others I could def see how they’d have more appeal to guys.

And for guy characters, I’ve seen guy players admire Diluc and Alhaitham ! Like they have a sort of “masculine” appeal, aspirational for guys I think. I’ve even seen some guys on the Alhaitham subreddit start to hit the gym to become buff like him 😮 Sorry for digressing so much with this topic ahahah just that it is very interesting to consider.

My BF has been fueling my Kaveh love AHAHAHA like when I’m using his computer he lets me run around as Kaveh as I haven’t been able to pull for him yet. Now I have much more Kaveh merch than before but I think that I will try to amass even more…

Ooooo that makes sense, yeah cons do get pretty crowded esp in the areas like the artist alley where people are crowding around booths. And maybe it’s for the best that you avoid cons cos (TMI in advance) the con stink is REAL 😭🤢🤮 Though some of them apparently distribute deodorant or soap for attendees, hopefully it alleviates the smell…

Yeahhh Touhou is hella old, like the franchise is older than I am (I was born shortly before the first windows OS game in the series came out 🫡). I know that ZUN is still producing new official games about every 2-3 years, and for merch I see that there are fumo plushies for the newer characters coming out, a pleasant surprise. But I think the barrier of entry is much higher due to the nature of the games so it’s less “mainstream” for young people compared to Genshin, as Genshin you could easily download if you have phone, iPad, non-mac computer, etc. But from what I’ve seen, you could encounter stuff of the most popular characters at cons if you keep your eyes peeled.

On the topic of merch (crazy complaint incoming!!!)… so I posted a pic of my Kaveh haul somewhere and someone made a comment alluding to that ship. This was the first thing I saw this morning, and OMG I was so irritated that I straight up blocked this person 😭 Sadly I can’t remove their comment (this would be more ideal). I guess this is rather extreme reaction as the comment was harmless… though in the description I literally put some unhinged stuff about “oh me and Kaveh are gonna get married” so I was wondering how they did not get the hint that “oh, this person doesn’t care for that ship.” I am bewildered that the shippers are everywhere, feels bad cos in the community I’m in, most of them are so so sweet but majority of them are also shippers of that ship.

Like when I see an arbitrary pic of [any Genshin guy] or Aventurine, I don’t go “ooooh la la Lumine’s gonna get that” or “hehe Stelle or Topaz is gonna enjoy this” respectively… ofc this is first world “problem” but still… they tether Kaveh to feeble scholar so much 😭

Also I was on a small yumejoshi community and I found a girl who is also Kaveh enjoyer, and who also feels uncomfy with the shippy stuff. It was a pleasant surprise that there are other Kaveh likers with a similar POV to us, since from my observation I see that many of them like that one ship along with him.

This got so long and convoluted, I hope it is not difficult to read !!! It does not help that I am currently running on some 3 hours of sleep and a can of green tea (it has no effect on me). If there is anything that needs to be clarified plz let me know !

-🍓

Genshin girls in general are quite good, both on a design and personality level. Many of them are popular with women because, as you said, they look pretty while being badass. It also helps that the writing for female characters has improved significantly over the years, making them more fleshed out and complex.

I didn’t like Lisa’s flirtatious attitude at the start, but I have grown to love her a lot, and got excited whenever she appeared in events. I wish there was more of her, tbh. Navia is also my favorite Fontaine character overall! I saved for her so much.

I adore most of the Genshin ladies, actually. The only ones I dislike are Ei and Yae Miko.

Yeah, I think the cool and stoic type of male characters are more popular with guys. And I remember seeing that one guy on the Alhaitham sub! I wonder if he reached his goal?

I… never even thought about how stuffy and smelly cons would be. Lord, that makes me want to go even less. Ew 😣

I looked up when the first Touhou game came out, and it seems like it released the year I was born. So yeah, the franchise is hella old… But I thinks it’s nice that it still has fans even to this day. Even if it’s become harder to find fan content of it 😔

I’m so sorry you had to wake up to a comment alluding to That One Ship, especially since you simply wanted to share something you enjoy. The way a lot of shippers post obnoxious ship comments under art depicting a solo character is a serious problem. It’s very annoying to constantly be reminded of a ship you dislike, plus ruins the enjoyment you could have derived from the post itself. For whatever reason, I only see it happen for m/m and f/f ships.

It’s not wrong of you to block the person. If they make you uncomfortable, then the best thing to do is quietly block them. The Japanese and Chinese fandom communities often recommend to others to block liberally so they can create a safe space for themselves online and not see things they dislike. It’s all about protecting your mental health and having a comfortable space.

I am also sorry to say that a lot of people don’t check bios, or simply don’t care about your boundaries. Once, I had a few shippers of that ship follow me on Twitter despite my bio saying for fans of that ship to not follow me. Even after I made a tweet saying I’m uncomfortable with such individuals following me, one of them left a like and continued to follow me 😐 They knew but disrespected my boundaries, so I removed them.

It might seem harsh to block or remove people over ship differences, but in our modern era of toxic ship discourse and harassment, I don’t blame anyone for feeling triggered by certain ships or their fans. It’s much better to block a stranger online than subject yourself to psychological torture. The other person will forget about it in time, if they ever even find out you blocked them at all.

lol trust me when I say there are a much bigger number of Kaveh-lovers in the yume community who also don’t like his ship with a certain Scribe! I’m friends with a few of them. In fact, my entire social media circle is of Kaveh fans who like him exclusively with girls.

I feel like the Japanese and Chinese yume communities are better on that front compared to the English yume community. I try to stay away from English communities in general…

Sorry that my response also got so long. I hope you can get more than 3 hours of sleep tonight! The weekend is almost here, so here’s to hoping you can sleep in!

[crazylittlejester]

I'm still on my Four Swords brainrot detour so you get to hear all about that today. Consider this my vote for you to read the book. I have the legendary copy, it was my big summer purchase last year (it's not that expensive, I'm just a broke college student) and I love it to pieces. I'm usually more into LU due to the fact that the FS fandom is pretty small and I'm not very active in it and my favorite artist is on hiatus. However. When the brainrot circles back around I am stuck in it for a while.

Anyway, it's the only LoZ game I've written anything for (except HW but that was a short bit about gender crises so it hardly counts).

I've taken inspiration from @zarvasace's series Shatterproof, and started working on a disability AU for FS out of pure indulgence.

Have I made basically any progress since I started it? No.

Has it been completely rotting my brain this past week? Yes.

The way I have it planned out is that I'm going to write a chapter for each of the Links, including Shadow, and one for Zelda. Each chapter is going to be a short story about their experiences with being disabled and how they feel about that. I'm supposed to be working on Green's chapter right now and I think it's maybe half done, but I'm contemplating taking it apart and picking at the pieces some more before I actually write the second half out.

The thing about Green is that he's kind of your generic Link. He's as close as you get to the original as far as personality and temperament go, so that's been my main issue thus far. He's just... really, really vanilla. Even his part of the story is kind of vanilla! He gets his death faked twice and he's not even the person doing the faking! He's just there as a driving force and it bugs me sometimes because he's like the FS version of the nameless "prince charming" and I could go off on a whole extra tangent but I should save that for when you've actually read the book.

The point is, he's not a character I easily get vibes from, so I've had to do a bunch of thinking and I came to the conclusion that he's going to be the one to be hit over the head with a work-related injury. Literally. He ends up with a bad head injury that impacts his ability to do a lot of things that knights need to be good at.

I haven't decided if he ends up keeping his job after he recovers or not, but he does have a lot of angst over that because he's a bit of a workaholic and spent most of his time working so that Red, Blue, Vio, and Shadow could focus on taking care of the house and each other. He considers himself to be the main breadwinner and then suddenly can't work because of his injury and has to wait and see if he'll be able to go back to work. There's going to be a whole thing about overcoming internalized ableism, and how even if you aren't ableist towards other people you can still be ableist towards yourself and it's a lot of work to build up the self-esteem necessary to stop that thought process.

I just love his chapter so much even though I'm probably going to use those themes throughout the entire work. There's just something about his part that really scratches the itch in my brain.

I have rough ideas planned out for Vio, Blue, and Red, but I'm not really sure what to do about Shadow and Zelda. Prior to finding out about your Warriors having blood sugar problems I was thinking about giving her diabetes or something similar, but I'm not really sure how much I can fudge in a fantasy setting without accidentally killing her. So I'm still at the drawing board for her.

Thank you for being my FS brainrot victim. :)

I gotta get the four swords legendary edition, I thought I had it but i dont 💔💔💔 I’m also a broke college student so i feel ya

GREEN ISNT EVEN THE ONE WHO FAKES HIS OWN DEATH TWICE ALSKSKDK?

ooooooh work related injury and overcoming internalized ableism, I’m so excited to read that!! (if you share it)

You could totally still give her a blood sugar issue if you wanted, it’d be cool to read about if you do decide to do that, but also anything else you come up with would be cool, all of this sounds awesome

THANK YOU FOR THE DAILY BRAINROT, TODAY WAS EXHAUSTING AND I DONT FEEL GREAT AND THIS LITERALLY CAME AT THE PERFECT TIME >:)

[kalinara]

I was skimming through my dashboard and I saw a post that I thought was really interesting.

In the post, the person stated that they missed when fandom was more interactive, when it came to fanfic writers and fan artists, rather than today, where it was like the content creators were machines that didn't need positive feedback, but were just there to create product.

I'm paraphrasing, because I can't find it again. It stuck with me for a bit though.

See, I think this is the natural effect of discouraging constructive criticism.

I can appreciate that very few people enjoy logging into their email or messages and seeing a comment regarding a project that they've spent so much time and effort on and seeing "Well, this is what I think you did wrong."

I can appreciate that for most folk, fanfic is a labor of love, something that they're sharing with the community. They're not craftsmen honing a craft, per se. They're not looking for advice on how to improve.

That's understandable. But I think it misses something really important: that constructive criticism, heck, even a polite yet negative review is still ENGAGEMENT.

It's a conversation in a way that kudos aren't. It's a conversation in a way that gushing praise really isn't.

I'm not saying a writer has to agree with the criticism. People are people and sometimes people are full of crap. But the fact that someone took the time out of their busy day to actually engage with a writer about something they created, and to talk about it, and think about it, and examine what worked for them and what didn't...

That does mean something, in my opinion. I've been a fanfic reader, primarily a lurker, since I first took baby steps onto the web in 1996. Back before AO3. Back before fanfiction.net. I remember webrings, and mailing lists, and geocities. I even, vaguely, remember bulletin boards.

As I said, I was a lurker primarily. I didn't talk much. I followed the discussions. Sometimes I'd agree with it. Sometimes I'd disagree (quite strongly). I very rarely commented or reviewed.

But when I did review, that was because I really wanted to. And when I did review, I put a LOT of effort into it. I'd talk about what I thought the author did really really well (which was a lot! Or I wouldn't have bothered.) I'd mention what didn't work so much for me, and what I thought might have worked better. It'd take hours, sometimes, to figure out exactly what I wanted to say - what I would want to HEAR if I'd written the story. I always tried to leave the kind of reviews that I wanted to receive on my own work.

I'd never write a review like that now. The etiquette's changed. I recognize that the kind of review I wrote back in 1998 would be incredibly rude now. But when I look at the comments I've left nowadays - they're quick. They're meaningless. Even on fics I've truly loved. Sometimes I don't even comment. Just a kudo. Sometimes I forget to do that. It's not personal, but I've got things on my mind.

It occurs to me that even the word is different. "comment" vs. "review". There are very different expectations.

I see people sometimes talking about how what they really want is comments, though. And interaction. And I get that, but when you limit the type of interaction that you're looking for, then I think that you're going to get less of it.

I'm sorry. But sometimes I'll read a fic that's okay, but not great. It's got wonderful ideas, but they could be developed better. It's got good character voice, but some of the word choice is a little off. It doesn't sing.

At least, to me. Maybe it's just a matter of personal taste. Maybe it's a craft issue. The author didn't ask for my opinion, and that's fair enough. But am I going to leave lukewarm praise and nothing else? Maybe. I have before. But more likely, I'm just going to hit the back button and look for something else.

It's easier to give feedback now than it was in 1997 in a lot of ways. Kudos buttons are lovely. Instant review buttons/forms that don't require a perpetually shy anxious person to send an email to a stranger are wonderful things. I probably do leave more comments now than I did back in 1997.

But when it comes to actual substance and engagement...I'm not sure there's even a comparison. Why bother? If I feel really strongly about something in the fic, well, I can write a blog post about it instead.

It is kind of funny that this means that I get the engagement out of it, rather than the author, but that's how it goes sometimes.

[m00ngbin]

SAW YOUR CD POST AND AM NOW FROTHING AT THE MOUTH THAT I FOUND A CD LIKER IN THE WILD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE plsssss talk about them

Like what's your favourite part of collecting them? Or what's your most prized one? Or maybe what one are you most proud of getting for the price you got it for?

Infodump to your hearts content CDs are like the closest thing in my life to a special interest lol

OH MY GOD EVERYBODY WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT MY CDS THIS IS THE BEST EVER

@boquetgarni @grimlyyyfiendish @spacepajamas956 you guys ALSO said yes. so.

Oh and everything is capitalized as it says it is on the CD or it's case so the capitalization of the words "and" and "of" are going to be the tiniest bit inconsistent

Ok so first: the list:

1. Depeche Mode (unspecified album)

2. Evanescence (Fallen)

3. Green Day (american idiot)

4. Lady Gaga (Born This Way)

5. Miley Cyrus (the time of our lives) (the one I regret getting the most)

6. My Chemical Romance (Danger days)

7. My Chemical Romance (Three Cheers)

8. Paramore (Riot!)

9. Rage Against The Machine (Evil Empire)

10. Rancid (...And Out Come The Wolves)

11. SkyView (Of Love and Despair)

12. System Of A Down (Toxicity)

13. The Cure (Greatest Hits)

14. The Cure (Wild Mood Swings)

15. The White Stripes (Greatest Hits (My Sister Thanks You And I Thank You))

16. Tyler, The Creator (IGOR)

17. Tyler, The Creator (WOLF)

18. Trolls (Band Together)

I love CDs. I feel like I always make my collection sound bigger than it is but I'm very happy with the ones that I have

Questions:

My favorite part about collecting them is kind of that I like completing collections and when I get multiple albums by the same artists it's the best ever, and I also just like having physical copies of my favorite music

My FAVORITE cd is either my The Cure Greatest Hits cd, the Danger Days cd, or the IGOR cd, and my least favorites are the Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, and Trolls cds bc I just never listen to them ever

My most prized AND the one I'm the most happy about the price of is the Danger Days cd because I originally got it second hand maybe three ish years ago and at first I was just like "oh cool a my chemical romance cd, I've wanted one of those," but then I looked inside AND IT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST DANGER DAYS CDS THEY SOLD. LIKE IT WAS FROM THE FIRST WAVE OF RELEASES. AND THE GUY I BOUGHT IT FROM WAS ONLY SELLING IT FOR LIKE THREE DOLLARS. I'm very proud of finding it

Organization:

All of my CDs are organized alphabetically by band name and then album name, but I went though a lot of different ways of organizing them just bc I love organizing things. The first time I organized them I did it by genre, then I did it by just band name, then I did it by just album, then I did it by color, and then how much I liked the CD. The only one that isn't currently in it's correct place is Trolls because I wanted to hide it from my friend (will explain)

Facts about the albums and also sometimes the CD:

1. ??? (Depeche Mode)

I know like nothing about this cd. It came in an unmarked cd case and it doesn't say ANYTHING about the songs on it or the album on the actual cd. The only reason I KNEW it was Depeche Mode was because it was written on the cd in red sharpie. I'm like 99% sure it was made by someone and not the actual band, and I could find out what album it is but it doesn't really matter as long as I like the music

2. Fallen (Evanescence)

I saw them live almost exactly a year ago and OH MY GOD they were so cool. The album came out in 2003 and it's not my FAVORITE of their albums but it's not my least favorite either. I UNIRONICALLY REALLY LIKE IT ITS NOT A JOKE

Favorite songs: Everybody's Fool, Imaginary, and My Last Breath

3. American Idiot (Green Day)

I was originally looking for one of their other albums but ykw? This is good too. This cd took so long to find which is such a shock bc as far as I knew, everybody liked Green Day. American Idiot came out in 2004, and it was their 5th album.

Favorite songs: Jesus of Suburbia, Holiday / Boulevard of Broken Dreams, and Homecoming

4. Born This Way (Lady Gaga)

I don't have a TON to say about this album but it did shape my music taste until I was like 12. So. I was a very hardcore Gaga stan. Born This Way came out in 2011.

Favorite songs: Heavy Metal Lover, Judas, and Americano ("fake Lady Gaga fan" I KNOW I KNOW IM SORRY I JUST LIKE HER MOST POPULAR STUFF)

5. The Time Of Our Lives (Miley Cyrus)

Not much to say about this one either, I don't listen to Miley Cyrus that much. This album came out in 2009 and I really only got this CD because it has Party In The USA on it

Favorite song: Party In The USA

6. Danger Days (MCR)

OK THIS IS THE FIRST ONE I CAN INFODUMP INFODUMP ABOUT. SO THE ALBUM CAME OUT IN 2010 AND IT WAS, (SORT OF, I don't count May Death Never Stop You or The Black Parade/Living With Ghosts and I'm not including any of the Numbers), THEIR MOST RECENT RELEASE UNTIL 2022 WHEN MCR GOT BACK TOGETHER TO MAKE THE FOUNDATIONS OF DECAY. This is unironically my second favorite mcr album, it's only after Bullets and I will never ever understand why people don't appreciate it as much as they should. ALLEGEDLY the last song on the album (Vampire Money) was made to mock all of the people who made music for one of the Twilight movies. FUN FACT THE PERSON WHO WAS MAKING THE TWILIGHT MOVIES TRIED TO GET MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE TO WRITE MUSIC FOR NEW MOON AND NOT ONLY DID MCR SAY NO, THEY WROTE A SONG FOR YO GABBA GABBA INSTEAD CALLED EVERY SNOWFLAKE IS DIFFERENT (JUST LIKE YOU) IN 2011. SINCE GERARD WAY IS A COMIC BOOK ARTIST HE WROTE THE STORY FOR THIS AND HE ACTUALLY MADE A COMIC BOOK FOR IT TOO THAT YOU CAN BUY AND I THINK YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT ok I could talk about MCR all day I need to stop

Favorite songs: Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back, Planetary (GO!), and Na Na Na (etc)

7. OR MAYBE I DONT NEED TO STOP BC THIS IS THREE CHEERS FOR SWEET REVENGE (MCR)

OH I COULD SAY SO MUCH AB THIS ALBUM but for the sake of keeping it short, this album was released in 2004 and it fleshes out the story of the Demolition Lovers that was started back when they released Bullets AND I COULD HAVE A WHOLE RANT ABOUT THE DEMOLITION LOVERS I LOVE THE DEMOLITION LOVERS. I got this CD from a shady music store that I haven't gone back to since bc it freaked me out so badly

Favorite songs: The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You, Cemetery Drive, and YKWTDTGLUIP (long ass song names jfc)

8. Riot! (Paramore)

THIS CD KILLED MY CAR. I'm not joking I'm being so serious this cd killed my car I had to get it jumped and towed. It's a long story that all happened within the span of 30 minutes and I was REALLY pissed about it. Anyways Riot was released in 2007 and it is one of my absolute favorite albums by Paramore of all time. Unrelated to this album but Paramore actually DID end up writing music for Twilight, they wrote Decode, (very popular), and I Caught Myself, (significantly less popular).

Favorite songs: For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic, crushcrushcrush, and Let The Flames Begin

9. Evil Empire (Rage Against The Machine)

SKDODNSKFID I love RATM. I think that this album probably has everyone's favorite RATM songs on it, and it came out in 1996.

Favorite songs: Roll Fight, Bulls on Parade, and Revolver

10. ...And Out Come The Wolves (Rancid)

STILL RANCID'S BEST ALBUM ARGUE WITH THE WALL. ARGUE. WITH. THE. WALL. Urgh this was like the only thing I listened to two years ago but it's grown on me. Very reminiscent of middle aged white fathers. The album was released in 1995, and I cannot tell you how many times I had to listen to all of these songs. I don't know jack shit about Rancid but I love this album. ACTUALLY one of these songs was how I picked out a name forever ago

Favorite songs: Maxwell Murder, Lock, Step & Gone, and The 11th Hour

11. Of Love And Despair (SkyView)

This is one of the only CDs I've ever gotten AT a concert. SkyView is (kind of) local band and they usually perform in planetariums bc they can sync up their music with lasers and videos of space and rockets. I would recommend seeing them after doing edibles. The album came out in 2017 and most of the songs are instrumentals

Favorite songs: You Win, All Alone, and Shooting Star

12. Toxicity (System of a Down)

IMAGINE MY SHOCK AND SURPRISE WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE I LIVE WITH DONE LIKE SYSTEM OF A DOWN. STUNNED. HORRIFIED. SPEECHLESS. I love this album sooo much, it came out in 2001 and it was the 2nd studio album ever released by System

Favorite songs: Prison Song, Deer Dance, and Chop Suey!

13. Greatest Hits (The Cure)

AHKSHDKAIDJS I LOVE THE CURE SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. THIS ALBUM CAME OUT IN 2001 but it's a mix of songs that had mostly come out in the 80s-90s. I GOT TO SEE THE CURE IN CONCERT LAST YEAR AND THAT WAS THE BEST CONCERT IVE EVER BEEN TO I wish they would come back :(

Favorite songs: Why Can't I Be You, Lullaby, and In Between Days

14. Wild Mood Swings (The Cure)

Truthfully I got this CD because I thought it was a different one but it has really grown on me. This album came out in 1996 which makes it kind of weird that none of these songs made it into Greatest Hits but yZK (THEY SHOULD HAVE)

Favorite songs: Strange Attraction, Jupiter Crash, and This Is a Lie

15. Greatest Hits (The White Stripes)

I got this cd for one song and one song only, but up until I got it I'd forgotten how much I love The White Stripes. The album came out in 2020 (REALLY RECENT WOW) and it includes songs going back to 1998

Favorite songs: Fell in Love With a Girl, (the song I got the CD for in the first place), Hello Operator, and The Hardest Button to Button

16. IGOR (Tyler, The Creator)

KSOSHFKSOSJFJE MY FAVORITE CD EVER ACTUALLY. I COULD TALK FOR HOURS. HOURS. ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS ALBUM. I COULD AND WOULD TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT IT but this has seriously taken me two hours, so it's not happening today. IGOR came out in 2019 and won Tyler, The Creator his first Grammy, (FOLLOWED BY CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST WITH HIS SECOND).

Favorite songs: I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE, PUPPET, and ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

17. WOLF (Tyler, The Creator)

THIS IS THE CD I GOT MOST RECENTLY AND IM SO HAPPY ABOUT IT AND AKDITHSKKDFJEJ OK so the album came out in 2013 and it was his 2nd (solo) album and AKOEJDOAFIRN OK I REALLY NEED TO HURRY THIS UP BC I COULD TALK ABOUT WOLF FOR AN HOUR IF GIVEN THE CHANCE

Favorite songs: Wolf, treehome95, and Answer

18. Band Together (Trolls)

This is honestly my least favorite bc I originally got it as a gag gift but I've been forced to listen to the same three songs on it a hundred times. It came out this year, I really don't have that much to say, it's just here. It's the only one that's out of order in my cd collection just because I have to hide it from anyone that I'm driving around because they WILL put it on

Favorite songs: urgh do I really need to have a favorite (THE TINY CHUNK OF THAT ONE SONG THATS JUST THE TROLLS SINGING I WANT YOU BACK BY NSYNC. Or It Takes Two)

ANYWAYS SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I WOULD SAY MORE BUT I TOOK FOREVER JUST TO SAY THIS. SO.

[hergrandplan]

Hey Nina 💜,

1,4,5, 14 and 17 for the writers ask thingie

Gladly!!

The last sentence you wrote

Simon wishes he could do more for W., help him somehow. Refer him to another publisher, one who would see what he sees. But Simon doesn’t have those kind of connections.

Okay technically these are three sentences but otherwise it wouldn't make sense i hope you don't mind lol

4. A story idea you haven't written yet

Oh, I have many (too many, some would say) but I once had an idea where Party Prince Wille gets into big big trouble one night. He gets way too drunk at a club, and even gets photographed leaving with someone. The next morning, his mother shows him images of him leaving with none other than Simon Eriksson, Sweden's Sweetheart, hand fully on his ass in a definitely-not-friendly way. His mother is done with him ruining the image of the monarchy with all his fooling around. In order to straighten out his image, Wille and Simon have to pretend they're actually dating...

I'm not explaining this well but it's fun and messy I promise

5. First sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP

"Plus, what right did they have to be there?"

14. Where do you get your inspiration?

I want to give the poetic answer and say shit like. All around me, the world, people on the train, but that's bullshit.

I get my inspiration from songs, a good 99% of the time (I stan very lyrical artists and that makes it so so easy)

17. Talk about your writing and editing process

Ooooh okay. Love this question!

Once I have an idea, like when that first flash hits me, I start writing immediately. Doesn't matter where I am; at home or at work or, once, literally walking the streets of New York. Cause once I have that idea, I usually at least have one or two fully fleshed out scenes in my head that I have to get out before I lose them.

After that, I usually let the stories marinate and sit and focus on other projects that are in a further stage of development. It's rare that I immediately write a whole story; editorial au really is the exception to anything really.

After that, I just pick up the story whenever I feel like it, but the beginning of writing is very much snippets in my notes, little random thoughts that hit me throughout the day.

When I sit down to write, depending on how fueled I am, I either write like 5k words in one go or 5. I try not to be too hard to myself during the writing stage; it doens't need to be good then (it really doesn't need to be good ever, but hey) it just needs to be Something. Words on a page. Any thoughts I have about the scene. Any time I get stuck, I write in a bracket what I want to do and move on. If I think about what I'm stuck on for too long I get stuck in writing and lose all motivation. It happens once or twice that I also don't have any ideas on what's supposed to happen after the scene I'm stuck on, but yeah, usually brackets.

I also talk to myself in the comments. If I'm hit with an idea about something I wrote earlier, the most I'll do is put a comment there about that idea, and go back to where I left off.

Sometimes I'll ask friends on opinions; discuss scenes or whether something a character does is actually in character. Talking really helps in working through hurdles, more so than I initially thought it would.

Often times when writing I think of my writing as too flat, but that's okay, because: editing is where I shine.

Now, given my profession this shouldn't have surprised me but I mean it that my best work is done in editing. That's where I get the sentences to flow, the pacing to work. I'll rewrite whole sections, and maybe it can seem like a waste of time, but those rewritings wouldn't be as good if there wasn't something that came before them. I take my time editing, making sure everything works, and then I send it off to my beta reader who reads it, works out those final kinks with me and then it's off to ao3!

(this all means it does take me ages to publish a story so thank you to everyone who's so patient with me lol)

Send me fic writer asks!

[stephenmalkmusofficial]

Top Albums of 2023

Hello everyone!

It's that time of year again! For me personally, it's been a hectic year, but an exciting one too. I did my best to keep up with new music, and listened to new albums with pretty good regularity, however I didn't find myself revisiting a lot of new records, at least not yet. In the list to come, I definitely see most of them as growers, records I'll fall in love with in the years to come, that already have left a strong impression on me. Just this year alone I spent a lot of time with 2022 releases I adored like Alvvays' Blue Rev and Panda Bear & Sonic Boom's Reset, and another record I'll give special mention to in a minute. I'm hoping to fall more in love with these records, and all the records I missed this year! Let's dive in

My Favorite Record from 2022 That I Listened to For the First Time in 2023: MJ Lenderman - Boat Songs

Ripping off this gimmick from Steven Hyden, who actually put this record tied for the #1 spot last year (with Big Thief's fantastic double album that was in my own top 10). I really became enamored with the alt-country sound this year, and this record was just the perfect scratch for that itch. The songs veer from aching to rocking, sometimes in the same track. My absolute favorite song of the year was "You Are Every Girl to Me" on this album, which evokes such strong feelings in me it's hard to describe. MJ had a big year being part of Wednesday, but I'm excited to see where he goes next as a solo artist!

Honorable Mentions: The Replacements - Tim (Let It Bleed Edition) M83 - Fantasy Alan Palomo - World of Hassle Greg Mendez - Greg Mendez Olivia Rodrigo - GUTS

10. Sufjan Stevens - Javelin

I've been a Sufjan fan for a long time now, probably around 8 years or so. I've always admired his ability to capture such intimate feelings with such sweeping and varied instrumentations. His last full length under his own name, The Ascension, came out in 2020, when a lot of new music wasn't really sticking with me. The Ascension had the same vastness that I came to know in Sufjan's work, but it felt slightly distant. Javelin closes that gap. From social media posts, it seems like Sufjan has had a tough year, and this record is about grappling with pain and loss. Removed from that narrative, the songs here build and grow with such beauty that although I've only listened in full once, I'm almost saving myself from the full wallop I know this record will give me once I really dive in. Thank you Sufjan, for everything.

Crucial track: "Shit Talk"

9. Squid - O Monolith

Squid are an exciting band to come out of the vibrant post-post(-post?)-punk scene in England. I really liked their 2021 debut, Bright Green Field, but it was sprawling and epic, and it could feel tough to revisit. O Monolith takes everything that was great about BGF and builds on it, while also focusing in a bit more. With 8 songs at about 40 minutes, this record experiments with post-rock-esque tension builds, vocoders, and engaged, involved guitar work. I feel like these songs will work well live as well. Excited to see how this band continues to grow!

Crucial track: "Siphon Song"

8. Wednesday - Rat Saw God

I know, I know, how surprising. I am not immune to Wednesday's Rat Saw God being on my year end list. Despite not having listened to this record a ton, I can definitely already feel like this is going to go down as a critical cornerstone of where alternative/guitar-oriented rock music will go for maybe the rest of the decade. As I fell in love with MJ Lenderman's Boat Songs, I grew to appreciate this record more and more. With huge, crushing fuzzed-out electric guitars mixed with beautiful pedal steel, it's really hard to resist this record's charms. Even revisiting their 2021 record, Twin Plagues, was a delight. Can't wait to listen to it more!

Crucial track: "Chosen to Deserve"

7. JPEGMAFIA & Danny Brown - SCARING THE HOES

Another hyped up album I couldn't help but put on my list. While not being super long to begin with, this record flies by, and it can be hard to miss everything. I've been a fan of Danny Brown for awhile, and have skirted around JPEGMAFIA's work, so this was a good introduction to hear them work so well together. JPEG's production here is insane, and both are firing at full mischievous speed. Just check out that sample at the end of "Fentanyl Tester".

Crucial track: "Fentanyl Tester"

6. Mitski - The Land is Inhospitable and So Are We

Yay! Mitski! After the kind of underwhelming Laurel Hell from last year, this record finds Mitski back at nearly full strength. Again, my weakness for pedal steel bleeds through, and I love Mitski experimenting with a new, more acoustic and natural sound. This is another record I haven't listened to more than once or twice yet, but I'm still excited to fall more in love with it. She's back!!

Crucial Track: "Bug Like an Angel"

5. The Tubs - Dead Meat

As a huge fan of bands such as Los Campesinos! and Martha, I've always had a soft spot for British rock bands with heart. The Tubs are no different, and in my year-end revisit, this record really stood out to me. It has the jangle of old British folk and early R.E.M. with the propulsion of Joyce Manor, not forsaking sweet melodies and harmonies along the way. At 28 minutes long, I insist you give this a spin!

Crucial track: "That's Fine"

4. Yo La Tengo - This Stupid World

For a long time, Yo La Tengo admittedly did not click with me that much. I'm not sure what changed, but their ability to vary between raucous, distorted shoegaze to calm, reflective instrumentals really stuck with me. On This Stupid World, they've once again found that sweet balance. Bolstered by arguably one of the best concerts I went to this year, I've really come to love this record a lot.

Crucial Track: "This Stupid World"

3. Avey Tare - 7s

Avey Tare has always been my favorite member of Animal Collective. His 2019 record, Cows on Hourglass Pond, is my favorite solo release from anyone in the group. Avey has apparently been sitting on 7s for a little bit now, and I'm so glad it's in the world. Avey continues his unique blend of experimentation with profound moments of beauty, melody and depth. He's also been working more with the bass guitar on his and AnCo's latest albums, and it really works well on tracks like "Invisible Darlings" and "The Musical". Hey Bog is an epic in a year full of Animal Collective epics. Very happy with this one!

Crucial Track: "Lips at Night"

2. Animal Collective - Isn't It Now?

Animal Collective have always inspired a dedicated, eager fanbase. After a few years doing their own things, the four core members of the group have reunited to make an ultimate "for the heads" record, with Isn't It Now. Last year's Time Skiffs built on a lot of things the band as a four-piece did well, and made it more melodic and accessible (again, Avey's bass playing and Panda Bear sitting behind a proper drum kit have changed their sound in a way you wouldn't expect), however this record takes it one step deeper. As typical with Animal Collective records, the band often plays songs that will appear on the *next* record on tour for the one they just put out. As a result, when I saw Animal Collective twice last year, they played most of the songs that ended up on this record. However, I did not fall victim to demoitis, and these songs sound magnificent. Definitely their densest record, but full of rich sounds, melodies and just the right amount of melancholy. Really really love this one.

Crucial Track: "Genie's Open"

1.Jeff Rosenstock - HELLMODE

Jeff Rosenstock is my favorite musical artist. For nearly 20 years, everything he has put out, whether under his own name with his backing "Death Rosenstock" group, Bomb the Music Industry!, or Antarctigo Vespucci, has been great to amazing punk music. On HELLMODE, his first full-length since moving to California in early 2020, has Jeff more level-headed and reflective than ever, but also bursting with the sheer kinetic energy that has made his work a joy to listen to and experience since i became a fan in early college (seriously, go see Jeff live if you can!). There's a maturation here that doesn't sacrifice his passion in the slightest. This feels like a big budget record, but in all the right ways. Songs like I WANNA BE WRONG, 3 SUMMERS, and LIFE ADMIN capture the feelings of trying to work through your own life with so much crashing down around us. This has been the most in-love I've been with a new record in a long time, where I could really not get enough of it in the first month when it was released.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Here's hoping to a peaceful, loving and fulfilling 2024. Much love to all!

[sh4tt3rg1rl]

TAOCC IS AMAZING, and boy has it changed since I first showed up

Aka: Elsie gets really sentimental for once

I’m gonna be honest, this is not the community I expected to end up in on this site. I joined Tumblr about October 29th and expected to end up as maaaaaybe a minor artist. At best. At the time TADC was just “that glitch thing that was blowing up that I thought was pretty good” and I was much more into murder drones anyways.

…Holy crabs, looking back on that…I had no idea what I was gonna end up getting into lol

I randomly followed the @/ragatha1 ask blog at one point, kind of confused as to what an ask blog was but hey, why not? That’s how I found Soup’s gangle blog and boy did things go off the rails. I was…so confused, I showed up smack dab in the middle of the Tiger insanity with no idea who any of these characters or people were. At that point iirc, “TAOCC” wasn’t even the name for the whole thing yet. I made Easton and was like “okay I’ll just have this goofy guy who likes sandwiches, no angst here, maybe he’ll make some friends, I really hope everyone likes him!”

BOY WAS I IN FOR A SURPRISE

I joined my first ever magma at that point as well! And I vividly remember being really confused but just doodling my sona in the corner and then people were like

“Uhhhh who the frick is Elsewhere I like your art :D”

and I was like

“Um

you what”

and thus I joined magma…a lot. Lol. That’s how I got to know soup and you (Xeya) and a few others. I felt so…weirdly new. Like impostor syndrome was in full force. That feeling hasn’t…really ever gone away, tbh.

And since then I’ve figured myself out mostly with only a few embarrassments to my name. I’m really grateful for the people I’ve made friends with, especially Fei, Star, Soup, and Xeya, as well as Kumo and Candy mods. You guys have been lovely to me, and I don’t know how I ever came to deserve that. It’s been rough at times, and I had to/still have to figure out boundaries and how to be assertive basically from scratch. This website still hurts me sometimes, and I accept that I’m a bit odd in some respects. But overall, people have respected that here much more than they do in my actual life. People have respected me here more than they tend to in real life. Before this I could share my writing and art with one person. One. I would go stir-crazy because I would make art and writing and never get to show anyone, which meant I just…spent like an entire year not doing anything. It sucked. And now I will just,..make art and characters for the funsies, and not get scolded for it. I can write incredibly florid descriptions and scenes about stuff like a freaking TOWN’S DESCRIPTION, and people will like it and tell me I’m good at this. I honestly might consider becoming a writer now when I become an adult. I learned that I can be shamelessly self indulgent when writing and people will enjoy it lol. Thank you guys for dealing with that btw lol. I will just MAKE CHARACTERS FOR PEOPLE FOR THE FUNSIES, a willingness I thought I’d all but lost. Like, I saw a 3d printer in my chem class two days ago and went “hmmm yunno what I could give a character in TAOCC a 3d printer for a head and that’d be so cool! Yunno, maybe Xeya would like it if I made that for her.” AND HERE WE ARE I’M CURRENTLY MAKING YOU A CHARACTER WITH A 3D PRINTER FOR A HEAD.

Also, you guys have no idea how grateful I am that you go along with my giant overarching plotlines. Like, my first test of the idea was Dusk’s domain and Sun’s trip to see Northeast, and then I was confident enough that people would care that I made the entire Lull/dungeon thing. The dungeon has been my magnum opus of writing, I put more work into that than almost anything else I’ve ever written. And people actually…respected that. I’m terrible at writing fight scenes, and yet I carried a fight scene for multiple hours with like…20 characters! I DIDN’T THINK I COULD HAVE TWO CHARACTERS FIGHT AND MAKE IT WORK AT ALL! OH MY LANDS I HAVE ACTUAL SELF CONFIDENCE NOW!! AAAAAAAAA-

anyways, that aside lol

it’s been wonderful, really. I feel like the pros far outweigh the cons for me, and the cons for me can be mitigated anyways entirely on my side of things lol. I came to this site looking for a community of people who would appreciate me, stupid flaws, autism, anxiety, writing and all. And I think I got that. And I want to find more, I want to keep going beyond this little bubble, but I want to always come back to this little circle of people. I don’t care how many rps or writing messes I end up in, TAOCC is always going to have a special place in my heart, flaws and all. It’s helped me get through some serious mess in my life, and being excited to come home to whatever insanity these lil guys are up to today makes me happy like almost nothing else.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Thank you for letting this odd moth in, I hope I’ve earned it.

HELL YEAH YOUVE EARNED IT!!!

You've been literally one of the kindest people I've met on the site. One of the most talented too! I've never seen someone write like you and. Honestly. Genuinely. I look up to you in quite a few aspects.

You're funny, kind, caring, skilled, and a great person overall. and im SO FUCKING GLAD YOURE MY FRIEND EEEEE HUGS SPINS YOUUUU

... (kicks feet) and I heard something about a 3d printer head oc youre making for me.... (teary eyed) (/pos) (me when people do things for me. i love yall. sm. love you elsie sm sM SM SM SM SM!!!)

[karlie-what-you-want]

I'm going to try to word this correctly, because I'd like your take and I don't want my point to be misconstrued. The tldr is: I'm kinda bummed 1989 TV is such a commercial success. Here's the long of it. 1989 was my favorite album for a long long time and I was of course, excited to check out the vault. But I feel like these numbers are based on hype, not on product. Which is... fine, commercially speaking. Go girl, make those dollars. But... the result is a receipe. What perfomed the best for a long time is a record that was heavily branded by a stunt with a boy(band). What has now performed the best was a re record dropped in the middle of a tour that was completely overshadowed by the boybranding again. I feel like the rush was a mix of weird Haylor gossip thirst, football dude easter egg hunt, return of girlsquad branding... I admit, it stings that 1989 TV didn't even get a promo interview, a music video, or anything. (No, but we didn't forget the merch drops, tho!!) And it makes me sad, because... folklore, man. That had ZERO hype. Bam. There. And we ate that shit up. We loved THE MUSIC. I want the wild ride to be the music. And 2023 feels like Taylor has fully retreated inside the Taylor Swift TM persona and we're buying the TS Brand, not Taylor's music. What I was hoping for was: more 1989 vibes on vault songs, more "directed by Taylor Swift" creative expressions. What I got was: Ken and Barbie on tour. I'm sorry this is kinda rambly. I know anon asks don't take into account line breaks so this will be even more confusing. But. Yeah. I'm just a bit bummed out and I was wondering if anyone else was a bit disapointed, too? I mean. I genuinely don't know. Do people enjoy the soap opera and I'm the only one who's only turning up to check out the shoes Taylor wore in candids and for her artistic expression? Maybe I'm the weirdo. The market certainly seems to say I'm not in the majority.

Hi Anon 💕

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, and I can absolutely relate! It can be really difficult to separate the stunts from the music on a mental and emotional level. It’s something I still struggle with occasionally, and when the music is something so personal to you, of course you can feel protective or even disappointed when the PR goes off the rails. That is completely valid!

It saddens me that any fan would feel the shine of Taylor’s actual work has been dulled by the PR schemes.

I, too, am surprised that we haven’t seen any music video for 1989 TV yet, but I’m also not completely convinced that the book has been closed on that front. Let’s wait together in hopeful anticipation 🤞

I don’t blame you at all for how you are feeling, but I think in times like these, the most helpful thing for me is to draw that mental boundary—whether it’s a boundary between the music and the PR, or myself and the PR. Sometimes, I just don’t check the news, or I scroll away quickly if I happen to see something. These stunts are a lot, so when I feel myself becoming overwhelmed, I really try to shut down my mournful thoughts with a “NOPE! That’s not good for me right now” and then scroll away, or shut my phone off, or turn on Taylor’s actual music instead.

I am in love with 1989 TV. I’ve had it on repeat since it dropped, and hearing the vault tracks especially makes me so happy. I feel like there’s a real story there—things we didn’t get to see when the album originally came out. I have to imagine that even now, there’s so much happening behind the scenes that we can’t know. I’m just grateful for the chance to peek a little farther behind the curtain for a period of time that was very special for the T Swift community.

Lastly, regardless of the PR stunts, this drop has been huge for Taylor. Perhaps we’ll never know for sure whether that’s because people have come flocking for her music itself or they’ve grown curious due to the over the top PR, but I have a feeling that Taylor doesn’t care much either way. I think she’s at peace with the way she gets her attention, because at the end of the day, people ARE listening to her music. If they saw her at a football game cheering on some meathead and got curious enough to check out 1989 TV, what they will discover is a woman with great intelligence, a depth of emotion, and an insane amount of talent. That is just to say, it will always be her music and talent that shines in the end.

I’m reminded of YOYOK, where Taylor sings I looked around in a blood-soaked gown and I saw something they can’t take away.

No amount of stunts or bad PR (or good PR!) will change her undeniable talent. Even better that 1989 is truly Taylor’s now. I just find it comforting that regardless of how people find Taylor or why they first buy her music, they will get to enjoy it for the beautiful work of art that it always is.

Sending love, anon! You are not alone in your feelings, I promise 💚💛💜❤️🩵🖤🩷🩶🤎💙

[angrypedestrian]

My good pal @explosionshark tagged me asking my top 5 impactful bands/artists, and I am happy to oblige. These are vaguely in chronological order, but also time is soup, so.

1. Sum 41 - This could probably be swapped with Simple Plan or Good Charlotte too, but I think Sum 41 is the least embarrassing (?), so we'll go with that. But basically they were my introduction to pop-punk and, like, subculture in general. I was 12/13-ish when All Killer, No Filler came out, and Fat Lip alone got me out of a rut of just listening to country music and whatever was on the radio, and made me start having my own opinions about what music I wanted to listen to outside of what was being played AT me. And from there it was a direct line to stuff like AFI, and then eventually emo and everything else in its wake.

2. Saaa - You may recall, one of my biggest Brands is being a ska lover and appreciator. It all starts with Saaa. They were a group of kids from my high school (I went to a school with an insanely successful marching band, we subsequently had A LOT of ska bands with really talented horn sections), who were seniors when I was a freshman, and they were the first actual show, not A Concert, that I went to. I had so much fun dancing with my friends, learning to be in a pit, learning that music can be a real community, not just listening to stuff on your CD player alone. Honestly there may not be a more impactful band for who I am now and what I stand for. The link for this one is from my personal google drive, because I have carted the three Saaa demo mp3s I have with me from computer to computer for almost 20 years. They are one of my most prized possessions, and if I ever lose them, I WILL cry.

3. Circle Takes The Square - My memory is terrible, so I may be wrong about this, but CTTS was the first heavy band that made me actually, seriously interested in heavy music. I liked Slipknot and Linkin Park and shit when I was a kid (and don't get me wrong, they still rule), but it was very surface level angry teen stuff. CTTS was my gateway into understanding why screamo and hardcore and things on that side of the spectrum were actually good. As you may recall I grew up in ground zero for militant vegan straight edge hardcore, and all those dudes were so FUCKING annoying so I dismissed several whole genres of music in the process of hating them. But I was wrong about that, hardcore and screamo and metal all are good, actually. Also, my first tattoo was a lyric from Crowquill. But I was 18 and definitely misconstrued a line that was sarcastic as being sincere. Whoops! It is large and dark and takes up a whole inner bicep, double whoops!!!

4. Team Dresch - This is the one that changed everything, like really and truly. Team Dresch was my intro into queercore, and inspired me to start Fuck Yeah! Queer Music over a decade ago. I found Team Dresch as a newly gay punk kid who loved to be a pretentious little shit about being into 90s emo, and learning that there was a band of queer women making the music all the bands full of cis men I loved to listen to (and making it better!!) blew my mind wide fucking open, and I haven't looked back since. Personal Best is one of my most listened to records, and I still can't believe sometimes that I have gotten to see them twice! If you're gay and punk and play in a band, you probably have Team Dresch to thank.

5. RVIVR - I don't know how to put into words how important RVIVR is to me. Suffice it to say, this is a band that actually kept me from killing myself in a very very real way. I wouldn't be here typing this without them, and I miss them every single fucking day. But as long as I can hope that maybe one day I'll get to see them one last time, I'll be here. (Fun fact: not only are they the only band I've seen twice in one day, I've seen them twice in one day on two separate occasions! Second fun fact: I also saw them one (1) week after I got top surgery and still had my drains in! That was stupid, but I'm glad I did because it was the last time I ever got to see them)

(Gotta give an honorable mention to Ace of Base though, my first favorite band, whose first record came out in the US when I was 5 or 6, and it was the first cassette I ever owned. I listened to it CONSTANTLY and it is absolutely the reason I am gay today).

Curious to hear anyone else's top five influential bands or albums! @pivitor @piratejenne @unsungfury @whatthehelliswrongwithhim pop to mind, but truly anyone else reading this I love hearing about shit like this from people.

[gffa]

Not to add onto the whole "why the fuck are you getting so many negative anons lately?" train, but yeah it actually does suck to see you getting those.

I genuinely like your blog and I find your meta analysis super interesting even if I don't necessarily agree with your opinions/takes all the time. But I think that's mostly because I find great personal enjoyment in just seeing how other people interpret a piece of media I love differently from me.

Your posts have genuinely helped me fall even more in love with this fandom and I've actually taken some personal inspiration from you on how to handle these sort of weird/semi-hostile asks with my own blog.

Thanks, anon, I appreciate it. I'll be fair and say that part of why I'm getting more lately is that I'm answering a few of them, when I do that, I get more people continuing to send things, which is how it is for anyone who answers this kind of ask. When I don't have time/emotional reserves for asks or just delete/block them, it doesn't stir as much up--well, usually, sometimes I do get "why didn't you answer my ask??" messages and, like, guys I had THREE SEPARATE CRISES LAST WEEK, I'm only on tumblr to shitpost right now. And that's part of it, too, that I've had a really shitty month+ and so my patience for this is lower than it usually is and I may well have a lot of "fuck you, this is bullshit" undertones that are stirring things up as well. My blog isn't for everyone, but also my blog doesn't have to be all things to everyone who finds it interesting, it's my blog. It's for me. Yeah, I post a lot of stuff that I hope people find useful, I do a lot of resource/reference posts, I do a lot of official art posts, I try to be objective about stuff, etc, but at the end of the day, this isn't my job, I'm not a social media manager running a brand account, I'm not here to sell a product to a paying customer, this is my personal blog. I am one person who has my set of opinions, I'm not here to be all things to everyone. If you disagree with me on something, that's okay! I probably disagree with you right back! We're individual fans who have different opinions on stuff and maybe I'm louder than other people, but I am still just a single fan who wants to talk about what I think of Star Wars. I write posts I'm willing to share with others, I put my opinions out there, I understand the risks involved with that, but I think a few more people could do to understand that I'm not just a corporate employee writing up posts that someone else uses as source material, I am an individual fan writing my own opinions on things. The same goes for a lot of the blogs who are getting negative/semi-hostile anons, they're just a single person on the internet who wants to talk about how they see Star Wars! (I don't want people to worry, I don't classify anyone who disagrees with me as automatically hostile or negative, the posts I answers with good faith responses, I'm pretty sure came from good faith places.  We’re specifically talking about the “do your job” type of asks.) I'm deeply flattered that you're still hanging out even when you disagree sometimes, because that’s my ultimate goal.  Not necessarily to convert people (though, of course I would enjoy it if that happens, I’m only human XD) but to explain where I’m coming from and hopefully get people to understand how I got there, even if they’re not on the same road or going the same place. Fandom gets so much better when you realize not everyone has to agree with you, you don’t need every space to be for you, you don’t need every post to be one that hits your buttons just right.  You just need a handful of people that you’re having fun with and vibe with you, a handful more that can have some engaging, interesting discussions about topics you agree/disagree with when you’re in the right space for it, and a handful of artists/writers making the fic you enjoy.  That’s it, that’s the recipe to a good fandom experience, that you make the stuff that makes you happy and have a handful of people you can trust to talk to about it. If I can be one of those people that occasionally provides commentary you may not agree with, but find to be thoughtful/how I got there, then I will absolutely take that and find it to enrich my fandom experience, too.

[girlreviews]

Review #162: Different Class, Pulp

I distinctly remember Pulp having their moment in the mid 90s. I was 7 when this record came out, and I burned into my brain is the sound of whatever cool young presenter was rotating in at that moment (I’ll say this was probably peak Zoe Ball/Jamie Theakston era) saying “it’s Friday, it’s seven thirty, it’s TOP OF THE POPS”, and you know, I really absorbed a ton of music being glued to that show so religiously but I particularly remember Pulp’s videos airing because I really felt it and was like, what is this?

That would have been either Disco 2000 or Common People, it doesn’t matter anyway because I love them both. There are a few songs in life that have massive commercial success and infiltrate general popular culture. Sometimes that can really spoil it, because it’s everywhere, it gets overplayed, people aren’t really listening to it, they’re missing the point. To be honest, all of that is probably true for both of these songs, but again it doesn’t matter because I’ve never stopped enjoying them. They’re just as good every time I hear them. Every time. How is that? How?

It’s the subject matter that they’ve chosen to focus on. A particular nostalgia and way of life. It’s the incredible detail that you only know if you know (wood chip on the wall). But mostly it’s the way the emotion seeps out of literally every sound, verbal and non-verbal. Sometimes Jarvis Cocker lets out these little tuts or gasps and you can just feel his disdain and the roll of his eyes. He whispers “Deborah” in such a way. He plays with his delivery and tone so that if you are paying attention you can pinpoint the exact points where he switches from sweet earnestness and sincerity to cutting sarcasm and biting, snarling social commentary that is seething in resentment. There are few artists that can take “ooooohs” and “yeahs” and pack it so full of emotion:

What are you doing Sunday baby?

Would you like to come and meet me maybe?

You can even bring your baby

Ooooooh, ooooh oooh ooooh oooh ooooh ooh

Oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh!

On paper, you read that and think, that’s not great. But you hear it, and you think, damn that’s really something. How? HOW?

That’s just Disco 2000. I really am going to have a hard time not writing an entire dissertation on Common People. It’s incredible. The intro is just iconic, and everyone always loses their minds when it starts to play any time, any place. Rightfully so. It’s so clever. It’s so particular. It captures so well this very particular British feeling of hating, loathing, and having such disdain for rich people who cosplay as poor. We all know someone who’s been that person and it just rubs you the wrong way. Musicians and creatives especially who like to play pretend that they are starving artists when really they have a nice little bit of mailbox money and couldn’t even comprehend the reality of struggling with actual poverty. Their romanticization of being “working class” is condescending, insulting and pathetic. Summed up perfectly by this song, and delivered with absolute perfection, as if Jarvis is really trying to hold back losing his shit at someone. There’s a part where he inhales and holds his breath for a second, and it genuinely feels like he is fucking livid. Seething.

“Like a dog lying in a corner

They will bite you and never warn you

Look out, they'll tear your insides out

'Cause everybody hates a tourist

Especially one who thinks it's all such a laugh

Yeah and the chip stains and grease

Will come out in the bath

You will never understand

How it feels to live your life

With no meaning or control

And with nowhere left to go

You are amazed that they exist

And they burn so bright

Whilst you can only wonder why

Rent a flat above a shop

Cut your hair and get a job

Smoke some fags and play some pool

Pretend you never went to school

But still you'll never get it right

'Cause when you're laid in bed at night

Watching roaches climb the wall

If you called your dad he could stop it all

Yeah

Never live like common people

Never do what common people do

Never fail like common people

You'll never watch your life slide out of view

And then dance and drink and screw

Because there's nothing else to do”

Fuuuuuuck. You give us all of that, and on top of it, it’s an undeniable banger too. Iconic. I loved it when I was 7. I love it now. I’ll never, ever, be mad to hear this song.

Moving on, which I’m proud of myself for doing because it’s difficult for me to not spend more time picking apart Common People. I could easily go on, but instead I’m going to talk about Something Changed which is quite a different vibe from those two singles. It’s very sweet, and has lovely strings in it, just about how your life changes when you meet someone new and fall in love. Everyone spends time asking questions about how you ended up meeting, what if this, what if that? It’s really lovely. You can meet someone and suddenly everything is different — for better or worse.

Giving a nod to Sorted for E’s & Wizz, which, again, through their talent of perfectly describing specific scenes — I’m taken back to days of frequenting muddy festivals or going to some raggedy show at a pub in Camden that really felt like it wasn’t structurally sound and that if we didn’t stop dancing the top floor might actually fall beneath us. But it was okay you know, because we had our drinks and/or substances. Except, then comes the days following, which aren’t so good:

“In the middle of the night

It feels alright

But then tomorrow morning comes

Ooooh, ooooh and you come down”

Yes. You do.

2020 was the 25th anniversary of Different Class, and on social media it was being posted a lot with the question of what song was the best from the album. Everyone had a lot of opinions, of course, but my correct opinion is that Underwear is the best track. If for no other reason than for this line:

“If fashion is your trade

Then when you’re naked

I guess you must

Be unemployed, yeah”

Don’t go too much longer in your life without hearing this song. It’s classic Pulp, that same thing: earnestness, longing, sincerity, mixed with resentment and bitterness. Delivered perfectly. It’s like hearing someone expressing that they want to save someone that they kind of hate.

Something I think about all the time. And I mean all the time. Is how at the 1996 Brit Awards, Michael Jackson was performing Earth Song. It was this very hammed up thing where essentially he was portrayed as the messiah and it really obnoxious (although I loved this song, but in a comical kind of way, once sang it at karaoke — do not recommend). Anyway, Jarvis Cocker was genuinely appalled at the display and rushes the stage to moon MJ. What should have just been an amusing moment turned into a whole thing. There were children on stage and he was even questioned by police. It was all fine in that there was no serious wrong-doing found to have taken place, but his mental health sure did take a hit after that.

BUT I SWEAR, I swear, and I can’t find it and can’t find any evidence of it, but I swear on my life that in the following few weeks, Pulp were on TOTP again, and they made light of the situation by having Jarvis performing from a set that looked like a jail cell. It’s so specific I don’t feel like my brain could be making it up, but it’s possible I’m wrong.

They had broken up or at least gone on hiatus by the time I was old enough to see them live, which really hurt my heart. Fortunately they would reunite occasionally and I did get to see them at Hyde Park once. Now they actually tour fairly regularly, and are even returning to North America after a long-ass time, who knows. Maybe I’ll see them again. Maybe he’ll cover Earth Song (again, do not recommend).

[captain-astors]

Hmm, 1, 16, and 33 for furutui?

Ooh, an excuse to rant!

the ask game

1. Describe their first date.

"Date" is generous, they're busy all the time so the closest thing they came to that for a while, was making coffee in the break room at ungodly hours of the morning. The building was very dark and empty, because any rational person was sleeping or doing their job out in the streets. Koori was exhausted and doesn't remember much of it, except for that the coffee ended up kind of shitty, and Furuta was unanticipatedly relaxed about it all. Might've just been too tired to put on much of a show. Regardless it meant a lot more than any sort of dinner just because they both prefer the quiet to some extent, though it's a nuanced thing. Other "dates" include things like making a rough excuse for a meal with their mutually limited cooking knowledge at Koori's house, staying overnight in their stupidly oversized office to work and talk, and cooperative murder that they have the authority to assign themselves to. Sometimes they go on proper dinner dates, but not frequently because of aforementioned reasons and the fact that they have to take certain measures to not be recognized. Neither of them are really nervous about it, it's more an elaborate excuse to see what makes each other tick for a little without having to say much because they're eating.

16. Would they ever get matching tattoos? If yes, what would these look like?

I mean, probably not. They justify their relationship through the temporary nature of it, and their own lives. A permanent marking would be an actual acknowledgement of "I am devoted to you and this isn't just something to pass the time with." That's something they'll probably never realize in the span of time they spend together before Furuta dies.

BUT, I am an artist and I love denial of my own. So maybe they were looking for something particularly spontaneous to do way too late at night for their own good. Mockingbird wings.

Ignore my bad hand anatomy, probably not in this spot I just couldn't think of a better one. It's in the symbolism. (Find an actual list if you're curious, because the first search result will give the the symbolism of "To Kill a Mockingbird" not what mockingbirds themselves can represent.)

33. How do they flirt? Who’s the worse flirt?

Oh no.

Worse in terms of "Dear god please stop": Furuta. Shitty puns, stupid games, the worst part is that it works, and it's further horrific because he'll throw something actually flustering in the midst of the stupidity and it catches Koori completely off-guard. Worse in terms of "Bad at this": Koori. He's not good at it by nature, and a long time of having Hairu be completely oblivious to his feelings has screwed up his concept of how to flirt to a truly impressive degree. Not that he tries most days anyways, if he wants something he pulls Furuta aside and says it.

They both "flirt" mainly through expressions and gestures, Furuta's the one more inclined to any verbal declarations, and even that doesn't happen as often as you might think, since it's usually just as a means to provoke, and that's somewhat pointless these days.