#cause theyre already down bad for each other cause i said so
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It made sense, McCoy thought in a daze, that after all the times beings with telepathic abilities had messed around in his head, something would get left behind.
He doesn't realize it at first. Chalks it up to being a people person, having dealt with enough personal and professional relationships as both a civilian and a physician to just know what a person is thinking and feeling. That's all it is.
Until he's working alone with Spock one night, both bent over microscopes in the lab, and he hears Spock say something quietly, with perhaps a triffle more emotion than he's used to hearing from the Vulcan - "This organism may take longer to classify than I had originally thought. Leonard will be sharing the lab with me for sometime, then. I . . . am not averse to this outcome."
"First of all," McCoy says, having perked up at the sound of his first name - not something Spock often addresses him as while on duty. "Kinda rude to talk about a man as if he's not in the same room, just a few feet away. Second of all-" and he turns, grinning at Spockâs slightly startled expression and raised eyebrows. "I'm pretty sure you just said you're enjoying my company."
The startled expression doesn't disappear. "I beg your pardon?"
"Now Mr. Spock, if you think I'm gonna let you take back what you just said-"
"Doctor," Spock says, clasping his hands behind his back and watching McCoy now with an expression more curious than anything else. "I did not say anything."
McCoy's smile falters. He feels an inkling of worry and growing curiosity not his own - he knows, somehow, that it's coming from Spock. It's then he realizes that his ability to pinpoint a person's thoughts and emotions - something that has seemed to grow stronger over the past few weeks - is not just due to his affinity as a people person.
Somewhere along the way, a telepathic being messed around in his head - and left some of their ability behind.
#and done!#leonard mccoy#spock#spones#tagging spones cause obviously as spock helps mccoy learn how to control his new ability and shield himself from others#they fall further in love#cause theyre already down bad for each other cause i said so#st tos#st#st aos#as well i suppose
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just thinking about first kiss w/leo and your hands are in his hair except he gets nervy and the tips of his curls accidentally catch fire and burn your hands !!
so then he carries you bridal style to the infirmary, literally crying and begging for forgiveness
and yk the talk with will as of how you acquired these odd shaped burns is awkward as hell
anon ur so right
whats funny about it is that the tips of his hair catching fire is actually one of your favorite things about him, you think its super cute and tease him about it sometimes- calling him names like 'hot head' and telling how adorable you think it is only makes them burn brighter and has him shoving his tomato red face into his hands. you werent lying when you called it adorable, it truly always made your heart flutter and brought a smile to your face.
so when it happens during your first kiss together, you obviously pull away and remove your hands from his hair cause.. well.. they just got burnt ?? but you still cant help but smile a bit.
the burns themselves werent extremely bad, they just stung a bit, and the kiss was great but that didnt stop leo from freaking out and immediately apologizing repeatedly, asking you if you were okay and grabbing your hands to get a better look at them.
you explain to him that youre okay, but this man is literally on the verge of tears, thinking you hate him and never ever want to see him again. you assure him youre ok, and just need to run over the infirmary for a quick treatment.
you try to turn away to the infirmary, but leo is so quick to literally sweep you off your feet and carry you in his arms, bridal style. he says something about making it up to you and calls himself 'your certified knight in shining armor' which only makes you smile more.
he begins scurrying over to the infirmary, pushing past campers so determined to get you there as quickly as possible, making you giggle. he puts you down at the door of the infirmary, quickly grabbing the door and holding it open for you.
you let out a light laugh and a 'thank you', then brush past him and into the infirmary. he follows right behind you, closing the door behind him. you walk up to the counter, asking one of the apollo kids for some assistance with your burns and she leads you over to sit and wait on one of the hospital beds until will can help you.
leo sits in the chair right next to you and even though youve told him a million times that youre ok, his leg cant help from bouncing and he can't stop fidgeting with his fingers. you notice his behaviors and put a hand on top of his busy ones, giving him a soft smile. he looks up and returns the smile, but is snapped out of his la-la-land trance when will walks over with his clipboard, ready to help you.
he asks you whats wrong and takes a look at your hands, but seems to have a puzzled look on his face.
"how'd you get these burns? theyre really weirdly shaped." he asks.
your face gets hot and your body tenses up, leo having the same reaction.
"uhmmm..uh- i-"
"wel-well you see what had happened was-"
"we ummm.."
"out with it already." will said, giving you a deadpan look.
you and leo glanced at each other in panic, but knew you shouldnt lie. not to will.
"we..wellwekissedandiwastouchinghishairbutthenitcaughtonfireandburntmyhadns" you mumbled quickly, looking down.
"what?" will asked, moving closer in hopes of hearing you better.
"wee.. kissed and i had my hands in his hair but then it caught on fire and burnt my hands" you said, elongating the syllables and feeling your face get hotter with each word.
will tired so hard not to laugh or smile, after all he was in a 'professional environment' ( as chrion called it ) but he really couldn't help it, he smirked and put your hands down, walking away from you and over to the cabinet where all the camp's ointments were kept.
he smothered a glob of the ointment onto your hands then bandaged them up so they could heal properly, and let you go on with your day- but not without a few teases and jokes while leo helped you fill out your paperwork.
after you finished up in the infirmary, you and leo walked out together and immediately plopped onto the bench outside.
"well that was embarrassing" leo said, stating the obvious.
"yep... well, now i know to learn from my mistake the next time i kiss you" you said, a small smirk forming onto your face.
your comment had caught leo by surprise, "what? wait... again? you-you'd wanna do that again?"
you turned to face him with a smile, "i mean why not? youre a good kisser and it's not like ive havent a crush on you for years"
leo had to be on the verge of a heart attack with each surprise he'd faced today, this one only pushing him further off the edge, "you've had a crush on me for years????"
you simply nodded your head and smiled, trying to play it cool when in reality your heart was ready to run out of your chest.
leo ran his fingers through his hair in disbelief, "wait so were you like really good at hiding it or something?? cause ive had a crush on you for years and i feel like its always been painfully obvious."
it was your turn to get nervous, suddenly at a loss for words.
"w-well, maybe you should do something about it then." you said, sounding more confident than you felt.
"well maybe i will."
he cupped your face with his hand and brought you in close for your second kiss that day, holding your hands down with his free one, and moving his lips slowly against yours. this time, the kiss was long and soft, the way your first one should've been. when the two of you finally pulled away for air, you had stupid smiles on your faces that only grew after leo asked you,
"would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"
to which you gladly said yes to.
#i am on a ROLL#smau fic moodboard AND blurd#this may not seem like a lot to yall but apparently im in a yapper mood cause this never happens#anyway i literally loved this prompt like anon u ate with this one#this was so funness to right !!#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackson x reader#leo valdez#leo valdez x reader#leo valdez x you#HOT TO GO ŕźâđĽ â.á#by bells âĄâ ࣪.#how queue get the girl âĄ
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spencer!dad with a teen daughter, theyre having an argument (bad grades, behaviour, sassy etc) but in the end she feels bad for her actions and apologises. fluffy/happy ending please <3
the only way to comfort your daughter most of the time was to remind her that spencer was a statistical anomaly.
there was such a small chance of him having such a big, beautiful brain, and it was completely unfair of her to hold herself to the same standards he held himself to. but, she did it anyways. and this caused a lot of tension in the house. especially since she started high school.
claire, your oldest child and only daughter, has been gifted. she was years ahead of her classmates, already taking calculus 1 instead of the algebra her friends were in. but being in these classes came with a lot of work on her part. and you did not mind helping her, but keeping up with the way schools change how they taught or trying to do the hard math she was doing wasnât going too well.
so, spencer stepped in.
âyouâre looking for the derivative here,â spencer spoke, frustrating clear in his voice. âthatâs what i just said!â claire exasperated, throwing her arms up and tossing her pencil down the table. âyouâre not listening to me!â you could hear the frustration and the hurt in her voice. you wished you could step in, but you knew youâd be no help.
âif you knew that, you shouldnât have asked for help.â spencer rolled his eyes, growing equally as frustrated. âstop being rude, claire. iâm just trying to help you.â communication had never been spencerâs strong suit.
from your place in the kitchen, you could see the way spencerâs face was getting redder and redder, not liking the way his daughter was talking to him. âhey guys,â you called, quickly hustling around the kitchen to throw together a snack plate, âwhy donât we take a break? i have a pre-dinner plate for you guys!â you did your best to cover up the real reason why you were interrupting them. hearing them go back and fourth broke your heart, you knew they didnât want to argue with each other and it really did upset both of them.
âi gotta get done, mom.â claire deadpanned, once again rolling her eyes. âbe kind to your mother.â spencer demanded. âdad!â she shouts, needing spencer to just be quiet.
âclaire, go to the living room.â you pushed, shooing her away. they needed space from each other. they were too alike for their own good.
âyou didnât have to do that,â spencer sighs, accepting defeat. âyes, i did, spence. you gotta be nicer when she asks for help.â spencer nods, not really caring for your opinion.
claire had disappeared to her room, working on assignments for other classes. she doesnât come out until you call everyone down for dinner. she asks her little brother, benny, to switch seats so she could sit next to spencer.
as youâre in the kitchen scooping everyoneâs plate, you hear claire talking to her. âdad, i finished the homework.â she says, not elaborating. âyeah, howâd it go?â he smiles at her. the anger he was feeling washed away just as quickly as it came. âyeah, i had mixed up the different variables a few steps up. i had to resolve it like six times.â she explains. âgreat job, claire bear.â claire smiles.
claire was like her father, never one to apologize despite knowing she was wrong. neither of them would say the words âiâm sorryâ, but the way they shared a bowl of chocolate ice cream for dessert was more meaningful anyways.
#iâve never taken a calc class#hope this makes sense to the math nerds#spencer imagine#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid angst#dr spencer reid#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid#criminal minds x y/n#criminal minds x you#criminal minds blurb#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds drabble#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds
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I HAD NO IDEA SEASON 2 CAME OUT ALREADY SO NOW IM GOING TO SCREAM ABOUT IT
Episode 1:
CROWLEY WANTED TO TAKE AZIRAPHALE BACK TO THE PLACE THEY FIRST MET
CROWLEY PROTECTED AZIRAPHALE FIRST IM SCREAMING
(My brother actually came into my room to tell me to shut up)
Of course Aziraphale would just forgive 8 months rent
Lmao Gabrielâs just walking down the street ass naked
Gabriel just hugged Aziraphale I canât
âJames. Long for Jim, short for Gabrielâ
Crowley knows Aziraphale so well, but poor guy he only calls him for 3 reasons
Poor Crowley is trying so hard not to freak out about the ânaked man friendâ
The conversation between Crowley and Jim I canât
Maggie and Nina are trapped together!!
Michael and Uriel are fighting letâs gooo
Crowley just casually let the girls out lmao
THERES AN I WAS WRONG DANCE OH MY GOD
THEYRE PERFORMING A MIRACLE TOGETHER
Aaaaaand of course it goes immediately wrong
Episode 2:
Gabrielâs wig is atrocious
IS AZIRAPHALE GOING TO BE THE SUPREME ARCHANGEL NOW
A jukebox that turns every song into Everyday like the Bentley with Queen, hmmmâŚ.
Crowley looks like a doting partner bringing his husband a drink
âGet humans wet and staring into each otherâs eyes, vavoom, sortedâ sir⌠are you telling me thatâs what did it for you???
Crowleyâs so confounded that Jane Austen wrote books
THE VOICE OF GOD???
HE TURNED ALL THE GOATS INTO BIRDS
Crowley scaring the kids cause they were brats but not actually killing them aww
The little girl asking to be a blue lizard with her siblings sheâs so cute
CROWLEY TAUGHT AZIRAPHALE TO EAT
I cannot believe Aziraphale was the first to talk about sides I love them
Crowley and Aziraphale working together for the first time to save the kids
Aziraphale looks so shaken to have lied poor baby
Crowley babe heâs begging for you to drive him
âOur carâ you canât take it that far lol
Poor Aziraphale really thought he was gonna fall he was about to cry
Crowley was so soft in that last scene
Episode 3:
Jimâs stuff is all labeled
Aziraphale looks like a proud father to Muriel
Crowleyâs moving the plants to use the car
They both look like parents I love them
Crowley brought Aziraphale to a cemetery because he thought it would amuse him, that is date behavior
Crowley is about to kill Aziraphale for changing his car
NESSIE?!?!
âOperation: Lovebirdsâ Crowley is such a dork
Aziraphale just is not getting anything lol
Crowley⌠shrunk himself??? And then grew himself????
Crowley tempted her to be good I love him
I love the very closed sign
Demons canât enter somewhere uninvited???
Heâs so angry Aziraphale might be hurt
Episode 4:
BEEBOP
âHis typeâ????
âI remember hearing that you and Crowley were an itemâ HOLY SHIT
HE CALLED CROWLEY HIS GOOD FRIEND AFTER THE CHURCH!!!
âThis office has gone 13 5 0 days without anyone saying âTHE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVEDââ
Glad to see Aziraphale in his magic era
Crowleyâs impression is hilarious
âSomeone you can really trustâ and his first thought is Crowley đĽš
Aziraphale has a gun and Crowley has never shot one
Crowley was shaking he was so scared and Aziraphale was so proud of his trick
Furfur not knowing how to pronounce Aziraphale lmao
Sleight of hand!
Look at them finding a middle ground in shades of grey!
Lmao Crowley would murder him if he knew Aziraphale didnât put the brakes
Episode 5:
Theyâre talking about Doctor Who
Aziraphaleâs giving books and Crowleyâs playing with crystal balls, I love them
Aziraphale being bad at French is so funny to me
Nina grilling Crowley on his relationship with Aziraphale is everything
Crowley was confronted with his feelings and immediately went out to get a drink with Aziraphale
Crowleyâs so mad go off king
The matchbox!
Aww look at Crowley denying heâs nice
The romantic music while Crowley looks at Aziraphale with the chandelier
Oh. My. GOD. Jimâs suit!
Lol thatâs not what I was expecting when they said masks will be provided
AZIRAPHALE WANTS TO DANCE WITH CROWLEY
THEYRE DANCING!!!!!!
âSurrender the angleâ
Gabrielâs coat!!
âT. O. S. T. E.â
âYouâre a good ladâ ânot actually, eitherâ
âRescuing me makes him so happyâ you canât just say things like that and expect me to be normal about it
Episode 6:
Crowleyâs just bouncing around in heaven
âIâm done with being scaredâ *flips them the bird*
Oh sweetie, you meant well but no
âCrowleyâs emotional support angelâ yes, yes thatâs exactly what he is
Crowleyâs little supportive punch to Muriel was so cute
AZIRAPHALES HALO?!?!
THE FLY
Gabriel x Beelzebub confirmed??
The fact that Gabriel and Beelzebub were able to sort this out in a few years while itâs taken Crowley and Aziraphale 6000 is insane
And the fact that Aziraphale grabbed Crowleyâs arm when he realized that
Crowleyâs so impressed with Aziraphale bringing everyone to order
Aziraphaleâs face at Crowley talking about Alpha Centauri
Aziraphale looking at Crowley with so much love in his eyes is giving me life
THE METATRON?!?!
Aziraphale looking to Crowley for permission I canât
Crowley knowing Aziraphale will come back and saying they need âa little us timeâ at the Ritz
Crowley getting antsy that Aziraphaleâs not back yet
Nina taking inspiration from Crowley and calling Maggie angel my beloved
Crowley looks devastated that Aziraphale interrupted him
Aziraphale looks so incredibly happy at getting Crowley to be an angel again but thereâs no way Crowley wants that
Crowleyâs getting so emotional
âJust be an usâ stooooopppppp
âI need youâ I canât take this!
Nightingales
THEY KISSED!!!!!!!!!
Aziraphale touched his lips after Iâm dying
Aziraphale stop being so stupid and get him back
The- the second coming??
YOU CANNOT END IT HERE
SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP
Please tell me there will be a season 3 I canât handle this
#I thought I had until tomorrow/midnight to watch it#this cannot be the real ending#somebody say sike right now#good omens#good omens spoilers#good omens 2#good omens 2 spoilers#good omens series 2#good omens s2#good omens season 2#good omens season two#crowley#aziraphale#go crowley#go aziraphale#crowley and aziraphale#crowley x aziraphale#ineffible husbands#muriel#nina and maggie#gabriel#go gabriel#good omens beelzebub#gabriel x beelzebub#go2#go 2 spoilers
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can you make headcanons of the gang learning creole from the shepards??
anon,,,r u,,,,đđšđđšđđšđđš???đ¤¨đ¤¨ /lh
BUT OF COURSE!!!! the gateway to get me to answer any ask is to make it about the shepards and them being haitian i swear
â˘ponys already ahead of most of em bc he hangs out w curly a lot, hes picked up a few words and phrases
â˘i already hc that darry knows french bc he learned it in school so hes like the one having the least amount of problems w learing kreyòl
â˘if u didnt know, kreyòl has some words from spanish and african languages and i hc johnny to be half mexican and steve is african so sometimes they recognize it and theyre like that one wojack of that guy pointing
â˘im gonna be so fr its rlly only tim taking it seriously and teaching em, angelas only teaching them bad words and curlys flirting w pony, stupid ik but its happening much to the dismay of literally everyone
â˘when it comes to kreyòl, how u say it is how its spelled and two bit swore he would get this shit the first try and then he didnt, he barely getting it on his tenth bc he had to be explained that its said how its spelled using the HAITIAN alphabet, he was just using the regular ass alphabet the whole time
â˘then it opened up an argument of âthen its not rlly said how its spelledâ w two bit and literally everyone else but weâll ignore that
â˘darry learned french in high school and he was barely grasping that fuck ass gendered language bc why is a table a girl, and he was so mentally prepared to have to do the same w kreyòl but when tim told him kreyòl isnt gendered and its rlly only context based so to say âhe, she, itâ is âliâ and to say âtheyâ in plural is âyoâ , ik he jumped for joy, he was so tired
â˘back to kreyòl being spelled how u say it, when pony learned that curlys heart jumped to his ass cause ponyb started writing down what curly said and asking tim to translate, everytime he gets caught tim just gives him a look and curly pretends hes smug about it but he is not, hes shitting his pants as we speak
â˘i hc dallas to be russian and he already has a BIT of an accent when speaking english but when it comes to him actually talking in kreyòl its even more obvious cause ur not rlly supposed to pronounce the râs but he literally keeps on doing it over and over somewhat in a russian accent on accident, and now tim just chuckles a bit when dally speaks kreyòl
â˘also i JUST remembered i also hc sylvia as haitian, so dallys also getting some help from her but also hes learning kreyòl bc he wants to know wtf she says under her breath when theyre in arguments
â˘i would say also bc he wants to know what tim says in arguments, but tim will gladly translate for him, however also some insult r just,meant for kreyòl, it literally only hits hard in kreyòl so he doesnt rlly translate those ones, but when he tells sylvia she laughs at dally and tells him what it means
â˘she also giggles at dally speaking kreyòl hes getting bullied at every angle
â˘i say this w sm love but dally and soda cant rlly read all that well, they were those kids that took a bit of time reading during popcorn reading and yknow what, no hate about that here, still love em the same, but sometimes tim lets them read something in kreyòl and theyre stuttering SO bad
â˘i joke about pony not knowing shit in kreyòl, but pony and curly speaking in kreyòl to each other guys,,,pls,,listen to me here,,,,i need it</333
â˘angela taught them some songs in kreyòl ill hold onto this hc till i die
okok im stopping myself here before this gets any longer but pls know i will be going insane about this later
#curly shepard#ponyboy curtis#purly#PaperCut ship#tim shepard#angela shepard#darry curtis#dallas winston#darrel curtis#sodapop curtis#johnny cade#steve randle
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dumping a bunch of messy whb mc doodles someone take this game from me
+rambling abt em under the cut:
1(2): drew this one surrounding the feelings of guilt between minhyeok and loyal (mc). idk if they expound on it more bc im stuck on 3-48 but like. its gotta suck feeling like you're the whole reason your best friend is going through it (loyal going to hell to revive minheyok/ minheyok dying because he tried to save loyal) and yet you cant talk at all. i like thinking about the feelings of obligation they both feel for each other. and the fact that theyre both a lil too guilty because none of this is either of their faults but feelings arent exactly logical are they. also did you know minhyeok's cut is in the reverse direction in his halloween event sprites than they should be based on the cg where he gets cut. cause it keeps bothering me.
also not related but since the halloween event i keep playing with the idea of minhyeok having some unknown relation to whatever happened to god (or maybe lilith for that matter but i have less of a support for this one) after he disappeared. i do like him as a "just some guy" character but i do also like the idea of him having that unavoidable bond with you because god adored solomon and having one soul turn back up means its not impossible for the others to appear again. also smthn was up with how the angels liked him
3: please. please stop grinding your teeth it hurts to read. loyal was also a wrestler in highschool so he's even more concious of it and is two seconds from like just putting his arm in the way so he stops. id say maybe we could invest in like lolipops or smthn but i feel like satan would "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop" except he doesnt even lick it he just bites it into smithereens in one go.
4: i think i literally went :0 when solomon first says that devils are idiots not long after the mc does. it rly is like. ik ur different people but u truly are a mirror of solomon huh. except loyal is more grumbly about it
5/6: like i said im stuck on 3-48 so idk how feasible this is but bad end angelification loyal! i was gonna do a demon one too but i think angel mc is more compelling because not only will you have to break your promise and let everyone, especially satan, down, but now they have to kill you too. and that would eat at the devils so badly. they already lost solomon once and now they have to get rid of him personally.
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heyy, hope ur doing well <33
so i have a request for thomas tmr x glader fem!reader, where they both came up together in the box and like the entire time theyre in the glade theyre js inseparable. so when thomas goes into the maze to save minho n alby, reader gets rlly worried and as soon as minho and thomas come back reader feels so relieved and gets emotional and thomas says something like 'dont worry, im never leaving you'. and one of them confesses to the other at the end <333
Oooo finally! I get to write for Tommy boy- that man does not get enough recognition in his own series lmao. He's the main character for a reason.
WAITING GAME
MASTERLIST | THOMAS MASTERLIST
SUMMARY: See above. Movie based fic.
WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, sappy stuff, that's really it.
Thomas was the first person you ever met. Well, the first person you can remember meeting.
In the Box, screeching metal surrounding you with a (admittedly handsome) teenage boy freaking out, trying to wake you up. For some reason, you were a lot calmer than Thomas was. He was bouncing off of the walls and you were just sat on the floor trying to process what was going on.
Then the ceiling opened and Thomas became a human shield.
The Gladers that you would come to know, treated you like an object and a piece of meat, bar a few exceptions. They'd never seen a girl before, but Thomas was there to protect you and make sure they didn't dare lay a hand on you.
Not that it mattered because the second you were both out of the Box, the boy grabbed your wrist and made a sprint for it.
It had somehow silently been decided that you were going to stick with each other. Which included tripping over him when he fumbled over himself and face-planted, as Newt would say.
Though, after the initial shock, you both started to relax more. Joined at the hip, wherever one of you went, the other wouldn't be too far behind.
You learnt about each other at the same rate you learnt about yourselves.
Thomas is reckless- he acts before he thinks and isn't scared of getting in a fight. He also asks a lot of questions and is more than willing to tell everyone his opinion.
You, however, are calmer. You think things through and explore more options. You prefer to let Thomas do the talking and get himself in trouble whilst you're there to try and solve whatever problem he's caused.
And you learnt this is a very small space of time.
Apart from Thomas, you get along with Newt, probably because he is one of the most respectful, and Alby, because he's more than willing to kill anyone that hurts you. Oh, and Chuck- Thomas thinks he's kind of annoying, but you already adore the small boy.
So, when Thomas gets attacked by Ben and Alby and Minho have to go into the Maze after his Banishment, you have a bad feeling about it.
You join Thomas and Newt at the giant Glade Doors, staring down the incredibly long and daunting corridor that almost feels twisting and nauseating. How Minho spends every day out there is beyond you- not that you've ever actually spoken to the guy.
Chuck stands next to you, anxiously looking between Thomas and a very stoic looking Newt. You put your hand on his shoulder.
"They're gonna be fine, Chuck," you smile at him. "Promise."
Glancing at Thomas, you brush your hand against his, making him look at you before he accepts the gesture. Intertwining his fingers with yours, you attempt to playfully nudge him.
Thomas has already become very passionate and caring about everyone here. And with his determination to be a Runner, you can tell he holds Minho very highly despite neither of you having anything to do with him.
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" He scoffs, taking a second to let your reassuring presence calm him.
He hesitates. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't developed a crush on you. Well, a lot of people have developed a crush on you because you're the only girl, but you and Thomas have some kind of connection. It's obvious the creators see it too, since you came up with him.
And the feeling is mutual.
"If Minho and Alby don't come back, what are our chances of actually getting out of here?" Thomas says. You understand what he means. Minho knows the Maze better than anyone, and Alby has survived all this time.
"They're gonna make it." Newt repeats himself for what must be the fifth time.
"Newt, they-"
"He's right," you cut Thomas off. "They're gonna make it."
Over time, a crowd begins to form, and Thomas is starting to squeeze your hand a lot harder, shifting on his feet and fiddling with anything he can find. The boy is stressed. At some point, Chuck decided to hold your other hand, so now your holding the hands of two very anxious teenage boys, acting like their mother.
The Doors closing time is drawing dangerous near, and you're starting to get stressed yourself. You stare at the ground, only for your breath to catch in your throat when you look back up.
"There!" You shout, a blur of motion catching your attention as Minho struggles to carry your unconscious leader.
Almost as soon as they emerge, the Doors start to move.
"They're not gonna make it," Newt mumbles. You and Chuck exchange glances, seemingly having the same idea. Letting go of both boys, you cup your hands around your mouth.
"Minho! Come on!" You shout. "You can do it!"
"Come on, Minho!" Chuck joins in, and soon the entire Glade is cheering on the Keeper to return. Some people even telling him to leave Alby, and it doesn't take a genius to tell that Minho isn't going to do that.
"I'm sorry," Thomas grabs your wrist, making you look at him.
"What?"
Without warning, Thomas bolts forward into the Maze. Newt tries to grab him but misses as he squeezes through the Doors, which close with a thud as he just about makes it to the other side.
The crowd stands there in a stunned silence.
You, Newt and Chuck all remain where you stand, almost like if you move, what just happened will become real.
You look at Newt, who stands with his fists balled. Your hand comes to the Doors, your face crunshing as you touch the stone, almost like you're willing it to open.
Newt takes a deep breath. "Everyone bed, now." He commands.
"But, Newt-" Zart starts.
"Now." He sighs. "We can't do anything about this now- and Alby's left me in charge. Bed. Go!"
The crowd disperses, slowly, until it's just you and Chuck left, with Newt standing just behind you.
Your forehead bumps against the stone as a sob shakes your body. The situation has finally set in and you can't stop the tears.
"Hey," Newt puts his hand on your shoulder, "if anyone can survive out there; it's Minho." You raise your head, looking at him and pushing your lips into a thin line. "Get some rest." He gives you a friendly boyish tap and turns to leave.
You look at Chuck, who is sitting on the floor now.
Thomas was the first person you ever met and the only person here you actually trust, so the weird feeling of loneliness and presumptuous guilt hits more than you expected.
You also sit down, taking your place next to Chuck and ignoring Newt's orders.
"They might make it," Chuck says. "Minho knows the Maze more than anyone- if Thomas is with him, he might be okay."
You sit there for what feels like forever, but you have no intention of leaving. Neither does Chuck.
Newt comes over several times in an attempt to get either of you to move, which falls completely flat and he eventually gives up. Though, he does bring you both blankets.
Chuck falls asleep after a while, and you let him use your leg as a pillow. But you stay awake.
You've known Thomas for only a few days but it feels like your whole entire life. You, for some reason, even liked Thomas when he was just a random boy you were trapped in a box with that didn't even know his name.
And now he was gone.
You were drifting in and out of consciousness when Chuck jumps up. That and the loud sounds of the Doors opening startles you back to reality. Sitting in the same position all night definitely wasn't good for your back but you have different priorities.
Scrambling to your feet, Chuck gets the other Gladers' attention and a small crowd forms, Newt leading the group.
It's like your surroundings become static and nothing feels real as the corridor remains empty.
People start to move away, with Newt putting his hand on the small of your back in an attempt to comfort you, making you look at him.
"No way," Zart mumbles, making your attention snap back to the Maze. Rounding the corner is Thomas and Minho, both exhausted and struggling to drag Alby back to the Maze.
You freeze, relief and shock overwhelming you as you stare at them. Cheers break out as they reach the Glade, dropping to their knees and panting.
"Did you see a Griever?" Chuck asks- because of course he does.
"Yeah," Thomas pants, "I saw one."
"He didn't just see it; he killed it." Minho adds, causing a new air of unease to spread across the crowd.
"Alright," Newt clears his throat, "get to the Med hut- all of you. We gotta make sure you're not shuckin' dyin' or some klunk."
Clint and Jeff help grab Alby. Minho and Thomas pick themselves up.
Thomas pauses, looking at you.
"You're a fucking idiot," you say, watching as Thomas nervously swallows, opening his mouth but he doesn't get chance to speak.
"Oi, Greenie," Minho calls after him, "let's go!"
You jolt your head in the direction of the Keeper, silently telling Thomas to go.
"Are you happy to see him or do you wanna se him?" Chuck asks, clearly more chipper than you.
"Both?"
He laughs.
You leave them to it as Thomas and Minho get patched up. But it's a weird feeling. You replayed it in your head- you expected to dive into his arms, confess your feelings or some shit.
But you just stood there.
Unmoving. And unsure what to do.
You watch Thomas leave the hut, talking briefly to Newt before making a beline for you as you sit at the edge of the Deadheads.
You look up at him from your seat in front of an old tree, pushing your lips into a thin line.
"Hi." He says.
"Hey." You respond.
"Newt wants us to have some Gathering in Council Hall." He awkwardly rocks on his heels. "He wants us all there. The Glade' goin' crazy."
"Why would you do that?"
"What?"
"Run into the Maze?"
"I had to help," he sighs, "I couldn't just leave them-"
"You could've died!" You snap, making Thomas jump. Your voice breaks slightly, the emotions of last night coming back up. "I would've lost you." The last part comes out as more of a whisper.
Thomas sighs, moving and crouching so he can sit next to you.
"Don't worry," he looks at you, slipping his fingers into yours as your arms fall falt at your sides. "I'm never leaving you."
You look at him out of the corner of your eye. Overwhelmed by feelings and unsure what else to do, you lean in.
Kissing him in the cheek, Thomas' body immediately tenses and his skin quickly becomes warm and red. You pull back, struggling to repress the smirk of your flustered friend.
"You know," he mumbles, facing you properly, "Minho ran off and left me, and all I could do was think about getting back to you. I was going to get back to you- whatever it took."
Your heart beat picks up as he glances at your lips for a second. "I like you, (Y/N). I feel... connected to you. I don't get it and I don't remember why, but you're all I think about even though I spend all my time with you. And I guess nearly dying has made me say it."
You smiles, and the images somehow makes him more flustered. "I- uh, I want- I mean-"
"Shut up, Thomas," you lean in, brushing you nose against his and giving him a hint, which he takes.
Your body feels on fire when he kisses you, and the relief that he's still here hits you all over again. He's safe here, and he's not going anywhere.
"Oi!" Newt's voice scares the shit out of you both. "I told you shanks we have a Gathering! Quit makin' out and get your sorry butts to Council Hall!"
You sit there, both of you blinking at Newt, who clearly isn't properly equipped to deal with this because he leaves pretty quick.
Thomas chuckles, standing up and offering you a hand. You smile, taking it and allowing him to help you up.
He isn't going anywhere, and he's yours.
Woooooo Thomas request- Done! I absolutely adore Minho, but it is nice to write for other characters sometimes.
I hope you enjoyed :))
#đż petri writes#đż petri writes tmr#đż petri tmr thomas#đ petri tmr#tmr fanfiction#tmr thomas#tmr imagines#thomas the maze runner#thomas tmr#the maze runner
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âWho did this to youâ with Sam and Bright Eyes?
hi so fun fact i was not here for the frederick videos, i never saw them. but i love found family so i read through some recaps and. did my best. idk man, this isnt great but its self indulgent!
i guess im a bright eyes apologist now? i tried to make this pretty neutral cause I havent seen the videos but. i guess im an apologist
i also guess the end of this is open? sam and bright are not completely good with each other by the end of this theyve just started to open up to the idea that theyre more similar than they thought
if you prefer reading on AO3, its over here
@badthingshappenbingo
By the time Bright decided to show back up, the sun had already started to rise, enough thatâalthough Frederick had only agreed to rest if he continued to lookâSam could do little more than stand on his porch and watch the woods around him for any sight of the unruly newborn vampire.
They'd stormed off the previous night, and despite the undeniable tension between the two, Frederick had nearly driven himself mad looking for them all day. He still cared about them, and probably always would, no matter what they were like. Sam really couldn't bring himself to be surprised, but he also knew that it wasn't safe for Bright to be out on their own when they were still in the bloodlust.
It had been over twenty-four hours since theyâd disappeared, and they were bound to need blood soon. From the less-than-close eye heâd kept on them, he knew they left more time than ideal between feedings, but he hadnât said anything.Â
He recognized the actions, remembered doing them himself, but this was different. The situation was their own fault, and they should have known better.
The light from the rising sun filtered through the trees, meaning they wouldâve had no real way of getting back even if they wanted to. He was getting ready to call Vincent and ask if heâd seen anything, when a figure broke through the treeline and practically threw themselves onto the porch to get out of the sun.Â
Bright was panting heavily, had burns running down their arms and legs, and, most concerningly, was drenched in blood.
Sam felt his stomach drop at the sight of them, soaked in blood, and he wondered how much of a mess theyâd left in their wake. He stared at them, feeling anger bubble up inside of him, and reached forward to grab their arm. âWhere have you been? What the hell did you do?â
They just glared at him, yanking their arm away and scowling; it just made his annoyance rise. He wasnât the one who had run off to godâonly-knew where, likely leaving a trail of destruction.
âI didnât do anything.â
âYou ran off. Do you know how worried Frederick was?â
Their expression darkened in response, and they snarled, something dangerous crossing their features. âFuck that,â They cursed, trying to brush past him in a swift movement only for him to grab onto their arm hard enough that they yelped when his hand closed around a burn.Â
He couldnât even bring himself to feel bad, caught up in the anger he felt. âYouâve already been told that you canât just run off on your own, and this is exactly why.â
âWhat does it matter? I came back. Iâm still alive.â They tried to wrench their arm free from his grasp, and just glared at him when they failed, âIâm not listening to another lecture.â
His voice was darker when he spoke next, angry and harsh, âWhat. Did. You. Do?â
For a moment, he thought they werenât going to respond at all, from the way they bared their teethâfangs outâand how he could practically see their walls going further up. There was a long moment of silence.
Then, before he could say anything else, their bitter voice muttered, âWhy donât you just kill me already, since thatâs clearly what you want?â
The words made his blood go cold. They were just trying to provoke a reaction, he knew it, but the words were still disturbing; as much as he didnât want to dignify it with a response, he couldnât help himself.
âYou think that?â
They paused, eyeing him cautiously for a moment before they nodded and gave him a look like it was obvious.Â
âI know it. I can see it in the way you act,â They said, no doubt or even anger left in their tone, just resignation, and it gave him pause, âYou want to hit me.â
He reeled back, letting go of their arm and staring at them in horror. Of course he didnât want that. It was hard to tell whether they were being serious or just trying to provoke him further, but their tone made him lean towards the latter. The words were chilling.
Their eyes were fixed on the ground, so he reached forward to put a hand on their shoulder to try to get their attention.
Once they saw his hand coming towards them, they flinched away, making him freeze.
Suddenlyâwith all the anger and resentment stripped away from them, without Frederickâs pain and his own self-hatred weighing down on himâit seemed like he was seeing, really seeing, them for the first time. And the person standing in front of him wasnât the bitter, wrathful newborn who had bitten off more than they could chew. No, in front of him, their body trembling slightly, was a frightened kid.
âShit,â He muttered, watching them shrink further away from him, âKidââ
âIâm not a kid! Stop treating me like one!â They snapped, the venom in their voice falling short of hiding the hurt and fear behind it. Sam wondered whether that pain had always been there; if heâd just missed it because theyâd done better at concealing it.
He remembered how heâd acted as a newborn, the anger that filled every moment, the pain and hate heâd felt. And suddenly, their actions seemed like more than just a bad attitude.Â
âIâm not going to hurt you.â Their eyes barely flickered up to him, a scowl forming at the words. âYou know that, right?â He spoke slowly, forcing himself to seem much calmer than he felt despite the guilt starting to build.
He stepped towards them, and they responded by continuing to back away, only stopping when they had almost gotten into the sun. They glanced back, clearly calculating, and then took another step backâapparently unconcerned about getting burned again as they got ready to bolt.
Rushing forward, Sam grabbed their arm and pulled them back against his chest, arms wrapped tightly around them to keep them from running.
They fought against his hold, screaming at and fighting against him, but he didnât budge.
Finally, when they found themselves completely unable to get free, their body went limp, legs giving way beneath them. And then they were crying, sobbing loudly and openly, and all he could do was hold them up as they broke apart.
All the fight had left them; they buried their face into his shoulder as they shook more intensely than before, clinging to him in a way that left him clueless of what to do. Something inside of him twisted violently at the sight of them so torn apart.
âIâm sorryâŚâ They sobbed, tears soaking into the sleeve of his jacket, âItâs all my fault. Youâre right to hate me.â
His heart twisted further at the words. The look they gave him, hopeless with guilt, made him feel sick. So he just held them tighter, resting his chin on top of their head and holding them to try to give them any sense of security he could.
Bright continued to shake in his arms, though their sobbing died down into whimpers that sounded like they were in pain; and Sam realized with even more clarity that they were just a kid. A kid who was scared, and angry, and resentful of having their life taken from them. A kid who was hurting just as deeply as he had been. As he still was.Â
A kid who he had been failing since they were turned.
And, most pressingly now, a kid who was hyperventilating, breath coming out in short, rough bursts of air.
"Itâs okay, kid. Iâve gotcha. Justââ Both blood and tears were soaking his clothes, he felt horribly out of his depth. His voice dropped to a quiet murmur as he tried to be soothing, âYou've gotta breathe for me.â
For all of their fronting, when they were like this, he could see how utterly drained they were. He knew they hadnât been feeding as often as they needed to be, and he was willing to bet they hadnât been sleeping. They mightâve not needed to, technically speaking, but they were so clearly exhausted that he knew itâd do them good.Â
They shook their head, wheezing as they grabbed at the back of Samâs jacket desperately. He gently rubbed their back to try to get them calm, feeling obligated to at least do that much. âWith me. InâŚ.And outâŚâ
Their breathing began to even out slowly, still coming out in shaky hiccups but being more steady than the gasping theyâd been doing before.
âWhy are you being so nice to me?â They just sounded defeated, frame still trembling. âI donât deserve it. And I donât want you to pity me.â
Heâd be the first to admit that he hadnât kept as close of an eye on them.
It was just easier, letting them handle themselves with the bitterness they showed everyone. Besides, with the way they isolated themselves, the pain and hurt they caused Frederick couldnât slip through their bond. But he was beginning to realize that it was likely a mistake.
He shook his head and frowned. âI ainât pitying you. I donât hate you, either.â
Really, when it came down to it, he didnât. Attitude or not, he couldnât bring himself to truly hate them. And they were his responsibility.
âAnd you donât need to deserve anything. Iâm not doing anything except keeping you from having a damn panic attack.â
They didnât seem convinced.Â
Trembling fingers pulled up the bottom of their shirt, revealing several wounds on their torso and stomach, including one that looked like theyâd been stabbed and another that looked like the imprint of teeth.
âThe blood is mine,â They whispered, voice filled with shame and so quiet he could barely hear it even with his enhanced hearing, âMostly, at least.â
Oh. Oh.
Suddenly, his earlier harshness seemed cruel. Heâd assumed the worst of them. It wasnât an unreasonable assumption, exactly, but he didnât know if heâd have jumped so immediately if it had been anyone else.
They looked up at him, expression unreadable, and shrugged. "Someone attacked me."
Nonchalant. Stoic. It was like this was a regular occurrence, like theyâd grown used to it.
âWho? Who did this to you?â
They frowned, looking hesitant to answer him.
âWho did this to you?â He pressed, trying to be at least slightly gentle with his pushing at them so that they wouldnât bolt or panic again despite the force in his voice.
A protective feeling was flaring up in him, something he didn't expect to feel towards the sour teenager. And yet, he couldn't deny the urge to hold them close, make them feel safe; and he knew he had a responsibility towards them in this situation, no matter how either of them felt about it.
Even as he tried to be gentle, they still seemed panicked, shaking against him. He sighed softly, shaking his head and gently placing a hand on the stab wound on their stomach to start healing it.Â
âI donât know how much Iâll be able to do. But I can at least get the bleeding to stop,â He said, voice staying as soft as he could manage, âTalk to me, kid. If someone hurt youâŚâ
They pushed at his chest, scowling once more, âWhat? Youâll pat them on the back?â
He rolled his eyes in response to their reply, but paused after a moment, a bit of guilt returning as he realized they were being completely genuine. It was almost hurtful that they thought so low of him. But he supposed he hadnât given them much of a reason to think otherwise.
Keeping his hands firmly against them, one still healing them while the other rubbed soothing circles against their back, he watched them glance down at his hand and go to speak, only to just bite their lip and drop their gaze to the ground.
âBrightâŚ.âÂ
Their breath stuttered out, uneven as they seemed to melt into the gentle touch. Yet, despite how it was clearly easing them, they pulled away and sat on the edge of the porch. Their legs hung down, dangerously close to the sunlight, for only a moment before they pulled up their legs to their chest.Â
A long silence fell between the two before they finally spoke.
âDonât,â They started, a small whimper leaving them as they pressed their forehead to their knees, âDonât do that.â
He reached his free hand out, hesitating before placing it against their jaw; he began rubbing his thumb along their jawline as they took another deep, shuddering breath. They rubbed at their eyes as tears began to form again, and he swallowed thickly.Â
Pulling the hand he was using to heal away from them, he looked over theâadmittedly messilyâhealed wounds. The stab wound, at least, was completely healed, as well as the bite mark. Many slashes were scabbed over, but several smaller cuts were still open even if not actively bleeding.Â
Brushing their hair out of their face felt like far too gentle of an action, considering their tumultuous relationship, but he did it anyway. âDo what?â
They sniffled, angrily wiping at their eyes once again before pulling their legs closer to themselves, arms wrapped around them tightly as they hugged their legs against their chest. âPretend to care. I canât stand it.â
That stung more than he wanted to admit, more than he understood, but he just nodded.
âNot pretending, kid.â The denial came easier than heâd expected, and quicker than Bright had expected if the look on their face was anything to go by.Â
Still, they just scoffed, curling in on themselves more as they stared at the sun shining on the ground. They reached out one of their hands, tracing a finger along the edge of the light and staring at it longingly. Sam just watched, frowning, as moving forward and getting the slightest bit of sun on their skin made them wince and recoil before trying again.
Moving closer, he gently placed one of his hands over theirs, holding them down and out of the light. He squeezed them lightly, both to help keep them out of the shade, and to try and offer some form of comfort.
âCan you at least tell me why they did it?â They stubbornly shook their head and he sighed. âCâmon, kid. Youâve gotta give me something to work with here. I want to help you.â
The last part seemed to break them, but the response he got just left him more confused. âEveryone here thinks Iâm just a screw up.â Muttered beneath their breath and dripping with unconcealed resentment. Yet, they didnât look at him, eyes still firmly fixed on the light that they couldnât truly feel on their skin ever again.
He knew the look in their eyes. Heâd felt that same longing for over a decade now.
âThereâs something wrong with me,â They whispered, voice breaking slightly, âAnd I donât know what it is. But I know everyone can see it. And I know I canât fix it.â
For all that they had tried to seem strong and rageful, there was an undeniable pain in them that he hadnât seen before. Now that he had, he couldnât believe that heâd ever missed it.
Then again, maybe he just hadnât wanted to see it. It was too similar to the same pain that he had become intimately familiar with; that he felt every day since he was turned.
âI donât want this. I never would have chosen this.â
He had been feeling thick, stinging guilt the whole time, and it had clouded his mind. It still did. But the sinking feeling that their two situations werenât so different was starting to weigh down on him as strongly as an anchor. Now he was just feeling sick. All he could manage was shaking his head and sighing.Â
âLetâs get you inside,â Grabbing their hand and helping them to their feet, he tried extremely hard not to think about the realizations he was having, âAnd out of those clothes.â
As he shrugged off his jacket, they watched him with something like suspicion, which only worsened when he put it onto them. It practically swallowed them, and they just scowled and pulled it around themselves. Â
He led them inside, his arm around their shoulder as they wordlessly followed and let themselves be set down on the couch. They looked lost, and smaller than heâd ever seen them; the sight made him pause.
âKid?â
They looked up at him questioningly, head tilting slightly to the side.Â
âI donât hate you. And whatever mightâve happenedâŚ. You didnât deserve this. For whatever thatâs worth.â
Their gaze softened, the change slight but distinctly noticeable due to their usual scowl and glare. He turned around before they could see his small smile, leaving to go get them clean clothes.
Luckily, Frederick was still asleep when he slipped into the room, and even with his conflicted emotions, Sam couldnât stop himself from gently ruffling his hair with a fond look.
âShit, kid. What have I gotten myself into?â He muttered, staying quiet to not wake him up.
That thought was only intensified when, by the time he had gone back to the living room, he found that Bright was also asleep. Curled up into a ball on the couch and holding tightly onto his jacket that was still around their body.
#bad things happen bingo#redacted audio#sam collins#bright eyes redacted asmr#uhhh#found family#whump#Who Did This To You#which IS directly said for once#probably out of character#probably not canon compliant#probably bad
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Hiya!!
Secret Santa here! đ
Iâm very excited to be writing for you in the exchange!!
In your form you said that your favourite ships were Winnix, Leckie/Runner, Webgott & Loosier. If youâd be so kind, please tell me your favourite things about those pairings!
Go wild explaining the dynamics, Iâm more than happy to listen!!
-your Secret Santa :)
vibrating at the thought of a gift fic yay!! (thank you in advance already hehehe wahoo!) answering this right away so it doesnât get lost and you can recheck the tag if thatâs easier. :) expounding below the cut!
leckie/runner (rukie hehe) - they are gross and tender and so sweet. the pacific didnât really shy away from actual bodily excrement, the meet cute or rather, the beginning of my synapses firing for these two was the peaches and diarrhea scene so thereâs that lmao! i love them post-war. the idea that they were shipped back stateside together always gives me some kind of relief, only in the sense that they werenât alone in that. they also just riff off each other so well. i love the idea of the playfulness wearing down into something softer that gives way to vulnerability.
loosier- they tend to get irritated and sick of it (the war, the navy, the fucking rain) in the same length of timeâbut they manifest it so differently. hoosierâs just tired, frowns, but if you prod him enough he rips you a new one. whereas leckie cannot pretend to be okay with the situation even with a gun to his head. i also really like the idea of them finding comfort in each other, iâd love to see it set during the war. in a foxhole when one of themâs tired of being so goddamn angry and just wants some semblance of softness, and the other oneâs just happy to give it back.
webgott - friction and finding some kind of hope, some part of themselves under each otherâs skin. webgott is endlessly fascinating to me bc theyâre so alike but seemingly not enough. how theyre so busy on arguing that it sounds like pleading to be seenâand only in the way the other man can. they canât seem to catch up with each other no matter how fast they run. they collide and it shatters everything in good ways and bad. like theyâre gripping each otherâs shoulders and they donât know if itâs from frustration or if itâs because they scared that the moment they let go, itâs gone. war or post-war. itâs always so so interesting to me and iâm so fond of both of them individually. i donât mind some tragedy but i love seeing them happy too, and wanting, always wanting.
winnix- âŚ.man, idk how to begin with this so⌠i guess iâll start by saying i like my winnix mixed with their irl characteristics. by that i mean thereâs a love and a fondness thatâs so undeniably there. and neither of them know how to regard the other one with anything less than devotion and affection that they themselves can barely name. i like the confusion that gives them. i said it before but it almost feels like paradoxically, being with the other is both the easiest thing in the world, and the one thing that causes them to feel desperate. i donât think either of them know the word codependency until theyâve been removed from the side of the other (dick saying hes lonesome as a lovesick swab, nix calling him up to ask âheyyy haha so ur back⌠still want the job or?â) Whatever they have is suddenly the easiest thing theyâve had to navigateâthe quickness of their understanding each other isnât necessarily an immediate shock, itâs like⌠in my head it doesnât hit them until itâs like 3AM and theyâre in the barracks wide awake after lights out taking about nothing, and itâs like âoh youâre still here.â and thatâs still them when theyâre 60 and they wake up with arthritis, talk about the morning and itâs still âoh, youâre still here.â and itâs hard not to fall in love again. but itâs also so new, to be seen so easily, but they both feel like they have to somehow earn each other? nix feeling like dick is the first thing he didnât inherit, and dick feeling like thereâs no one else like this and he has to keep working for it. i loooove winnix because they simply cannot even begin to think of hiding their fondness because itâs just the movement of an involuntary muscle. pre, during and post war. <3
this is quite long sorry about that!! 𼲠and aaa thank you again in advance!!!!!!! i know i will love it <3
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i said on a post if it gets one note Iâd make an essay on why Dancing in the Street by Stephen Day fits Nuzi rlly well so hear is my midnight ramblings on aforementioned topic.
First let us go through the lyrics of the song and address it line by line:
It was coming to down in sheets
(not only can this be used for rain, but snow. Copper-9 where the show takes place is a snowy wasteland)
You were staring back at me in the middle of the street that night
(not perfect, but remember that scene in the Promening where N and Uzi meet up again after the end of Heartbeat? Where theyâre awkward and just kinda stutter and stare at each other? Not to mention, eye contact throughout the show holds up pretty well.)
It was dark but I could see it
In the morning Iâd see you in a different light
(See in a different light huh? This could be a metaphor for N finally giving in to being in love with Uzi even after Tessa told him he needs to kill her. The dark being his mind clouded by his own desires, and the morning with different light could be his clearer mind screaming, âWHYD YOU DO THAT TESSA WILL KILL YOU!â)
I knew better I saw your feet off the ground
I knew better something was holding me down
I knew better, yet still I spun you around
(Again, he knew better than to just let himself be with Uzi bc of Tessa, yet still gave in)
and for a moment
we were dancing in the street like people do
(prom scene anyone? Dancing in an inopportune moment, such as in the middle of a street or a fight?)
dancing in the street hiding the truth
(Uzi and N kept their feelings hidden from each other for a hot minute! Especially with our little tsundere Uzi trying her darndest hardest to not be in love with N)
dancing in the street like people do
when theyâre in love
(THEYRE IN LOVE YOUR HONOR)
*sick guitar solo*
There in the streetlight we both knew
(During the holding hands scene in Dead End, although they never explicitly say anything about each other, the holding hands does most of the talking and they know)
It was coming down in sheets
(snow)
You were staring back at me like you didnât want to leave that night
(we already see that N is Uziâs first friend and vice versa. I think itâs safe to say parting is already bad enough while theyâre bffs)
holding tight cause you could feel it
(N and Uzi give very tight hugs to each other. Also, Uzi and N do cling to each other. They like being near each other, whether you interpret it as platonic or romantic)
in the morning Iâd see you in a different light
(The âyou could feel itâ from the last line combined with this can be Uzi knowing Tess would be really mad and N might feel guilty about it, but is just trying to preserve the moment)
You knew better and still you kept me around
(insecurity and gratitude that can go both ways, Uzi or N)
You knew better something was holding me down
You knew better, and still I spun you around
(Tessa says no, but eh.)
and for a moment
we were dancing in the street like people do
dancing in the street hiding the truth
dancing in the street like people do
when theyâre in love
(repeats chorus for a hot sec)
Suddenly morning came, and all the rain had gone away
(once they realize what they did)
and when we woke from the dream darling everything had changed
(dream, like this was a nearly impossible thing, yet still good. A good thing.)
and though itâs over and we know it would you know that I care
(they care about each other. They do. Itâs undeniable. Also, the being over part could be Uzi being nearly fully possessed by the Absolute Solver, making the relationship impossible)
would you know that i care?
(the repeat is important with this one bc it really emphasizes, âyou know i fucking care and love you so much, right?â)
*repeats chorus again*
OK ALL DONE I GOTTA SLEEP OR NOT SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK AHAH BYE
#murder drones#liam vickers animation#n murder drones#n md#murder drones uzi#biscuitbites#nuzi#n x uzi#serial designation n#i spent too much time on this#kill me now#i am unwell#im so tired but Iâve never felt more awake#I hate periods#they suck
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the thing about liking an almost 30 year old show is I'm not sure as much about what went on behind the scenes. and a significant part of that is how awesome it was that the fans were just more separate from creators then, like there was no social media and junk for us to to badger them on about things. but the from their side there wasnt a place they could just dump shit on us for fun. things were told through dvd commentaries and magazines published back then or panels and stuff at conventions or even TV specials and those are all very... ephemeral. like I'm sure its all recorded somewhere but it takes a little more digging and hoping fan websites have the info. and thats doable I'm not asking anyone to help me with that btw i just havent done it yet cause i wanna get thru the show first or I'll have one billion spoilers from not being able to stop reading.
but i think the biggest thing for me rn on stargate is, again i watched atlantis first. and that started in and branched off of like season 8 of sg1. so i know a lot about The Ancients, since they were a big player in SGA, and every time something tangenally related to them comes up in SG1 i get super excited and wave my arms and jump up and down for Daniels attention cause i want him to discover Atlantis so bad. im so excited for him and oh god he has his earpods in he cant hear me-
anyways. connecting these two points..... i have to wonder watching things progress how much they planned ahead. how much did they set up like "... yeah we'll decide to make something of that later" and how much of it was "oh dude the fans are gonna FLIP when we make this reveal in two seasons" you know????? i can listen to stuff about gravity falls when hirch and co talk about how they had no idea where they were going. they were like "well he has a twin somewhere. for some reason. and hes..... well hes there." and they literally came up with the everything on the fly. and then even in Gargoyles, which is old like stargate too, i read apparently the writers called each other once like "WAIT HEY THIS CHARACTER FROM THE VERY BEGINNING FIRST EPISODE? HOLY SHIT WHAT IF HE WAS THIS GUY-" sort of twist like.... way into the show lol
was that what was going on with The Ancients? and their whole..... ascended business? Orlin in this episode was very interesting cause i definitely recognized Oma D from a while back as an ancient, so i was glad Sam compared Orlin to her, but this was the first time theyre REALLY like "yup, that monk and myths of the jaffa werent just talk. this ascension biz is for real and a bigger deal than you thought" BUT! they still havent really connected it to the ancients. at all. i dont think daniel even said the writing on the machine Orlin helped build was ancient, and it didn't look like it, but then like.... Orlin also just said he was Human.
and was that true? WAS he human? humans can ascended, sure. but he also made a freakin stargate. in sam's basement. (Obadiah Stane voice) WITH A BUNCH OF SCRAPS!
... he already was the cause of death for people he cared about once for giving away too much information, i wouldnt be surprised if he lied about being human. but also wouldnt be surprised if the writers were like..... unsure and didnt care cause it doesnt matter lmao they were just vibing. you know. idk im sure Orlin and even Oma will get brought up AGAIN later, im only in the beginnings of season 5 after all and know some spoilers that the ascension thing ans ancients become a big deal later but. yeah its just interesting. i like picking apart creators minds for their stories and its just not possible in the same way on such an old show. even if i could ask them, they'd be having to recall through decades of memories that change as they have over the years. and that provides an interesting color on things as well but... its not the same as knowing what they were thinking back then.
#ALSO? immediately next episode after orlin. another fucking alien species. that'll never come up again. what did i say#milky way's lousy with aliens. he was weird lookin and cg even not just a human with a funny makeup. good grief. anyways#my posts#stargate
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Episode 4 thoughts
Not Vasiliy seeing mal and Alina kiss THIS IS WHY YOU DONT PUBLICLY KISS YOUR BOYFRIEND WHEN YOUR ENGAGED
Also nikolais mum is really pushing the whole heâs legitimate thing isnât she
INEJS VOICE BREAKING INTO KAZS FLASHBACK WHERE EARLIER IT WAS JORDIE
I FEEL LIKE WE ARE BUILDING UP TO KAZ IMAGINING INEJS BODY
âIt would bring me some comfort to know that youâre with meâ my kanej heart is being fed
Kaz just wanting Inej to be safe if he dies versus Inej just wanting to get revenge for Kaz if he dies
The patron Saint of brewers
A LITTLE LIGHT ROLEPLAY
I KINDA LIKE YOUR FACE
SOMETIMES BROTHERS FIGHT
YES TO ALL OF THAT SHUT UP THEYRE BROTHERS
We like to keep our expectations low!
Nina bestie donât knock out Kaz
Also thereâs no way weâre getting a soc spin off for crooked kingdom cause theyâre using half the plotline
Davidâs little wave đI love him
Oh god David feels so bad about genya
Whoever I saw on here that called the sword a round of applause for you
So know nikolais gonna hire the crows right?
Mal calling Nikolai out on the third person
Nina bestie stop it. Heâs probably just gonna kill you anyway
Canât really blame Kaz for Nina not being loyal theyâve known each other a week
Yes Inej slay
This is how sheâs gonna find her purpose
Sheâs not gonna get her ship at the end of this season is she? She might
This is when Kaz is gonna bring up his son ainât it
See theyâve already used the plague thing so we literally cannot get a crooked kingdom spin off
Ahah that where the shiner comes from
Omg no not Jordie already having the plague when the sirens went off
Slay Kaz
OMG YES HIM AND NINA PLANNED IT
NOW I KNOW HOW JESPER AND INEJ FEEL
OMG YES GO KAZ USE HIS SON
Ngl kinda prefer when Kaz didnât use his name cause then pekka was just being gullible
Calling pekka weak as if heâs not in love with Inej
Also shout out to whoever said Kaz was gonna use alby in every monstrous thing
OMG OMG WE GOT THE SCENE
I CANNOT
Kaz saying all of this with blood running down his face really makes it
THEY LITERALLY LIFTED HALF IT FROM THE BOOKS AND I LOVE THAT
Nina and Jesper just watching this shitshow go down
He better get on his knees
YESSSSS
âAre youâ I FUCKING LOVE HIM
ngl I kinda forgot they were being framed for murder
Omg yeah the bitch is dead
YESSS GET INEJ FREED TOO
Ok but this means that he didnât liquidate all his assets to free her
It also means they canât really do six of crows either cause heleens the one who recognises them at the ice court
Thick as thieves, lol
YES THE KOOPEROM
Where was Inej in that scene with pekka though?
YES TOLYA AND POETRY MY TRUE OTP
Shit okay vasily really wanted rid of mal
Alinas dress looks gorgeous
OMG VASILY NO LEAVE RN
Slay Alina
Bitch you talking a hell of a lot for someone who gets himself killed
Also I forgot vasily proposed đ
We love Alina wiping her hand on her dress
OMG YES WE GET PEKKA DIGGING WITH HIS HANDS
Whatâs actually in the grave though
OMG YES THE STADWATCH
Hahahahahaha alby
WESPER
IS JESPER ASKING HIM OUT
OMG THEY ACTUALLY HOOKED UP
NOT WYLAN LOW-KEY SLUT SHAMING JESPER đ
We better get the just girls scene in a flashback or something
OMG JESPER YES
WYLAN TRYING TO HIDE HIS SMILE
OMFG THEY KISSED!!!!!!
THE SCREECH I JUST LET OUT
OMG THEYRE GONNA KISS
My heart is beating so fucking fast right now
AND OMG RIGHT INTO A KANEJ SCENE?!!
HE THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD
NO KAZ WHAT OH WAIT YEAH BE FREED HER
SHIT
Wait hold up does wylan know about the stablehand?!
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU QUOTE ME
Jesus that is a big rock
NIKOLAI
âIf my mother was as put off by commoners as she claimed I wouldnât be here now would I?â
Lol vasilys dead
Darkling honestly needs to die already
Genya smashing things as she deserves
I did not expect that to be the context of âIâll destroy the only thing you have leftâ and honestly im a bit disappointed she wasnât threatening him
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ok i don't know much about yakuza but i gotta know for the choose violence ask game: 3, 8, 11, 16, 22, 24? (you can also do these about another fandom instead if you want, i just chose yakuza bc those are ur little guys)
HI AUSTIIINNN. forgive me this will get long
3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr
ohh my god theres been so many. but okay i will specifically pull up an example from the server i run. no screenshots cause the conversation was way too long but essentially yakuza has a massive misogyny problem with its female characters (of which there are. barely any). the conversation was specifically about the hostess mechanic, which is this minigame that appears in almost every game where you go to a hostess club and have a date there (a hostess club if ur unaware is basically softcore sex work its paying a woman to talk to you at a club). ofc nothing wrong with hostessing but people were specifically talking about how it was Kind Of Creepy that all the protags are like.... 40+ and all the hostesses / other female love interests are a lot younger.
and then this guy came in saying something along the lines of... if you criticise the way hostesses are objectified in yakuza then actually you hate women and sex workers and youre saying its not a real career .....? NO ONE WAS SAYING THAT. it was really one of those situations where the person was acting like these fictional female characters have their own agency to do sex work and flirt with older men ignoring completely the Old Men Writing The Series. they are not real people making their own decisions these are women written by men. it was bizarre. this guy also eventually said that if you criticise panty shots in anime youre racist or something because "japanese culture is like that" okay.
already answered 8 here! <3
just realised i completely got switched up on numbers and i already answered 11 and thought it was 10, so my answer for 11 is here but i will also answer 10 for @kasugas since i fucking. didnt.
10. worst part of fanon
majima woobification. and the worst part is its in the games now too like they straight up woobified him in kiwami and i cant STAND IITTTT. hes literally a yakuza boss he violently beats up his men he canonically married an 18 year old and hit her when she aborted their fetus hes not a good guy and i love when canon shows that. but then fanon is just like solely fucking majima everywhere characterisation of ooo hes just a silly little faggot who loves kiryu and kiryu hates him <333 (even though kiryu. does not. and finds his antics hilarious in every other game. and treats him as his closest friend.) and also the uncle majima stuff....... i like thinking about his relationship with haruka as much as the next guy but when people just. slap them together with no consideration to the fact he KIDNAPPED HER. AT 10 YEARS OLD. like dude shes going to be traumatised you cant just Ignore that for the sake of giving her two dads?
16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)
oh i fucking know. i KNOW why they like it and the answer is theyre uncreative yaoi loving freaks but so much nishitani content is just him acting like some borderline rapey daddydom and its soooooo Eugh. they make majima into this uwu baby who doesnt want any of his advances until the relationship is literally liek something out of a fucking yaoi where he "really wants it deep down but hes going to act like he doesnt so its going to feel so uncomfortable and hes going to get borderline assaulted". the entire appeal of nishimaji to me is that nishitani is literally so down horrifically bad for majima and majima actually likes him back even if he thinks hes weird as shit. theyre both insane for each other.
22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
ok im going to sound deranged here but his relationship with mirei. thats the 18 year old i mentioned. a lot of people choose to ignore he did that and like.... i get it its very uncomfortable to accept your favourite dude would prey on a kid like that but like. i feel like it does a disservice to his character to ignore that? it shows how he perpetuates the cycle of abuse and its so incredibly interesting to me but so many people just say "he wouldnt do that!!!!" when like.... yes he would. im sorry but he would.
24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse
fuckig hell idk theres so much horrible yakuza discourse. ig its relevant rn but like whenever anyone genuinely critiques how fandom acts (misogyny, racism, woobifying a genuinely morally reprehensible character, ableism, just anything) and then the people who do this shit get all up in arms about it and act like its pointless infighting when its... genuine shit that makes a community unsafe
#hope ANY of that made sense to you austin. ILY!!!!#twirls hair feel free to ask me to clarifyyyyy i love talking#lucy.txt#rgg
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What i do.
But this is hell.
And of course. The indian speaks english fluently. He had a thought one day. And when i said. âWell, how am i supposed to know? Half the time youâre being a fucken idiot.â He laughs. Other times. He doesnt want to inderstand.
Im already dead man. Wtf do j care. I can do all kinds of mean rwisted shit now. Because im not going to be alive much longer somthey eont be any consequences.
They ve been doing this to me simce i was a fucken child man. Dame fucken tactivs. If fact its has my brothers signiture all
Over it.
My noose is ready and lovked on my door. All i
Need is a push. Theyre fucken wi th y hormaines for fucks sake s
Lets go
Back home and think about my asshole cause its the only thin gg i can feel. 24 hours a day. At leadt its not spwaking like a girl. With all that estrogen laced weed thyeve been giving ober the last several years.
Sorry ive never liked looney toons. I font have a sadistic sense of humour. Brainwarping children with violence and laughter. Degenerating the inner spyche to produce degenerating invclined offspring. And neither do i have beef with nature: âcuz nature sucks!â Lets all get high and touch thr moon and based or future generations eith ambitions to please the body over the spirit.
Ive come to put it all together. Over these years. This is the third reich. The nazies won. And all it took is 60 million lives to make possible. And half of those lives were russians. Didnt hear a single care in all of my education about world history.
Not enough russians lives were taken thoigh. So the north western idealogy is trying to side curb its way into foreign lands to take over and dominate the world. Nazies.
I wanted a job at the pet store or the art store so the pisces moon would have a positive outlet. And the at osphere would be calm and positive. But they didnt want me to. The plans are in motion to continue raping my existance.
Then on the brink of suicide, again, i find a roofing job serrounded by toxic, degen, masculine personalities. With thr exception of one. Theres not mych in the way of media that gives positive light to the masculine. Its all connected to hardship. And lack. And degen, tendencies.
And people have always taken it for themsleves to put themselves over me. That has been thr only reality ive ever known. I dont want to be alove anymore. Especially if i get treated and punished fir being how the world has always treated me.
Im not even a person.
Gay men, women, heteroâs, government bodies of people. family, friends. To a lesser extant. Going on 40 and people are stoll making decisions for my life. I dont get to make them. Because they do.
All the world has ever done is harm me. And im the bad guy. Growing up hearing all this shit about peace and love and the age of aquarius. Just to insult you. While your surrounded by Leos. And disfunctional familial habitudes. Watching sibblings go after each other and me with hammers and axes and shit. Giving young teenagers ciggarets and drugs. Purposefully rolemodeling bs cause its funny. Killing animals and pets. Burning down buildings. Driving drunk. Fag bashing, bigotry, elitism. Destructive habits. Bipolar eruptions of violence. Absenteeism. Zero guidance. No communication. Lack luster tries at it.
Over 30 years of that. Then battering after battering, year after year. Into a beligenrent mess of bs.
And now, years after being complety fucked with to the extreme. Theres an entire community of dicktwats fucking with my system, and sexually manipulating me. Into becoming a queer. And through right back into childhood and fortifying self destructive lunar habits. So they can all feel good about being superior humans beings. And quenching that demonic thirst.
Thats pretty ficked up man. Dont blame me for tending to phatasize about national destruction. Because its the maine theme of pop media.
Since birth the world has been nothing but a giant fuck you to me. Everythign in between in inconsequential on that regard.
This isnt the real world. Its a pre-life. Or an alter life if another being. Which is me. Experimecing this instead of that. To break it all doem. Its the only thign that makes any sense.
And then after at those places. I wanted to work at. Id need an avenue for physical work. So i would have been more inclined and have the motivation to go to the gym instead. But nope. I need to be sexually harrased by another girl and then raped into become a girl. Not allowed to be away from toxic intended people, playing to a script. Somim still sick. Not allowed not to be.
In all that darkness and negativity and entropy. Once the light is seen, a peace and normalcy is glimpsed, in the venusian qualities upon the face of a pretty girl. Drive me insane. With the desire for tranquility and good tidings. Motivation and will to produce good life. Comes over like an obseesion from desperation and lack. But they harm you all the while. Boices and shadowed faces hiding in the background in the crowd. The will to drop it. Isnt strong enough to hold. For what if. An accomplishment from something good. Would strengthen my spirit. And i could live again. Or for the forst time.
My life is little foot vs freddy krugger. But i come from the generation where horror was intwine with child phatasy. Theres not much defermeve bewtween land before time. The original. To a nightmare on elm street. Beyond finding the garden of eden versus just surviving the T-rex and still being lost. Comsidering im living on maple street. Is just another insult to being alive.
I cant afford a noce appartment. I live by myself and always will. An di dont make 30$ an hour.
In fact Ir wasnt far between watching land before time an dmy life going to shit.
Heres some dick, kid. And the entire world thinks its hilarious. Perverting children.
It should be manditory for all families to get psychologically evaluated every 1-5 years. Which i donât understand all this pride about free health care. What health care? If uou can give an athlete 10 million$ a year. Im pretty sure you can find some funding for better health care practices.
Then the bs about national compassion and what woukd have a stringer expression in the masses knowing that these games to pay exorbitantly for is actually supporting their freinds and family and a better world jnstead of giving entitled assholes an easy life of luxury. If a movie actor cane make 60 million $ a film then wtf. Fuck tom hanks.
Too bad its not my thy hair that is patching. If it were a choice it be the other way around. Then it be more like the arms. With heavier forarm than upper arm hair. Am i right? Maybe i will do the ipl treatment. Then use the electro therapy to get whatever is left over. Leave the pubic region, the love trail and the fuzz on my belly. Insteas of looking like a satyr. You know since iâm a woman now. Nd it be sexy. Since sex is all that matters.
You should have seen the expectant joy on my fathers face while he was calling me a woman. That was like what. 8-9 years ago now.
His favorite song. Used to sing it around me all the time.
Dont have a choice i have to kill
Myslef.
I just want a girl whos loves sucking dick. So she can squirt over my dace as i stair up i to her browneye and ponder the mysteries of life.
No need of shame for the sexual appetite. Of dirty vs. carnal desire. I know most then some.
Fucken creep. Yeah, i am. I was. Will be again apparently.
I want a woman, help me feel like a man. Instead i have an entire community of smut peddlers.
Kings are ni longer bred. There is no ower to veto a way of life. Itâll just fester.
Pray ipon my god and see, i never stop burning.
Man, i feel like a woman. And along eoth it everything worth living for is gone. Intellectual persuit. Gone. Artistic persuit gone. Desire to sedate increased. Desire to socialize gone. Desire to produce. Gone. Desire to accomplish gone. Desire for further education. Gone. Desire for physical satidfaction increases. Women suck. Its a handicap.
Looks like i was born and bred for the sole
Purpose of being a slut. Something to be proud about apparwntly.
Mrystal is the closest thing. Though a lie, ive had to hanging out with a girl for over 25 years. Just toxic masculine and feminine personalities. Thats all there is.
Hard to live in your own head. When theres an entire army manipulation from the external. Been fighting it for years. Hasnt brought me in anything
Well shit. Hello dark side of me. Hows it going? You go n abe alright not being monitered. Not going to do anythignstupid now are you? Creep some people?hive my body full reign to the family demon. Become possessed. Give in to sin. Noones safe.
Why they want that. Fuck their dumb.
Too i secure to walk i to a bisy stire anymore. Back to where i started there goes 8 years of life.
Guess ill be dressing up as a souless demon this holloween.
Maybe i can pull card lettered Đ, centre it by maybe 8 other cards to be connected to. Maybe. See what influences bare upon it.
Do that while the world is busy olaying with my penis. Pervs.
Ger me out of this nughtmare. 40 years is too mich.
Theyre fucken kilking me and laughing at the same time. My entire fuckne life man this has lal it ever been.
What to say to the dictor in the shrinkwarf. I have an entire army of cocksukrrs raping intk suicide and indotn want to be alive anymore. Tired that already. Didnt do anythign. Half of rhem are probanly in in it anyway. Can youvexorsize this demon. Fucken ne since birth? Look how populous its become.
Die for what you belive is certsinky gonna happen.
Maybe one day i wont be thrown into an envrionemt. That is full of enemies. Or assholes who just oass it off their shoulder like it doesnt matter. Mothwr was good at that.
Oh you know its just him. Hanging out with a bad crowd. Instea dof being talked to its being talk about while your still next to the person talking. Noe like ive ever been treated as a person anyway.
Apparently im not allowed to have a job or any social connections. Not allowed havign want i need to live.
Only endless years of people talking about you than to you. Thats all its ever been. 40 years.
I lneed to leave. Byt noones going to
Help me so im stuck here being taped by fucken cocksucker s
Doni fo to work today or do it quit. And count down till im dead? Tough decision.
Dtarted crying again lastnight over how fucied i am.
Kife will always fo this to me. It always has abd it always will.
I have ti kill myself. Its the only way to keep wveryone feom interference with my lifw and forcing me to kill myaelf.
Quit the job and start passing out more cvs i can di that much atleast. Not that ill find a job anyway. Not one ill be happy with.
I deswrve to be raped into suicide foe being born. It only makes swnse
Indont know what not being serrounded by enemies feels like. Something that will never getnoff the bucket list.
I simt have a single cruel abusive bone in my body. Always strived for whats good. Fight agaisnt people fucken with me. They jsut fuck more with you.
So the reason i was born was to be bullied into suicide. So that my family can work out the demon.
Theyâre trying everything except giving me a substantial anount of money.
The anount of time, resources and man power to rape me into suicide is staggering.
Well rested for the first time in months. Almost died again yesterday. Spend the day half conscious, puking and depressed. Wonder what they dosed me with me.
I forgot what it feels like not fighying got tour life.
What s the point. Im being gorceably removed from the gene pool and im not going to accomplish anything thst will outlive my life and influnce the fallowing generation. Theres no poing being alive. Instead i was born so that other people can enjoy thrmeslve putting themselves over me.
I wush the same fate to all tour children. Thats all
Ive ever known. I cant even do anythign withmyself because thats my only life experiemce.
So i dont even bother trying and i just do this instead. Norn i to a world where not a single person has ever been upfront with you.
Hey look im dtill 8 years old being treated likedhit by my family. Hahhahab
Im afraid if a get a et soemones is judt going to kill again.
What about. Y brother he should be in my shoes. Guys a sexist, fag-basher, drunk driver, drug popping macho. Whis killed several of his sibblings pets. Gave drugs and ciggarettes to minors. Racist. Had. Apicture of the nazi flag accomanied with a sense of pride. Trashed every behical hes ever had. Put lots of lives in jeoperday. Broke peiples bones in highschool while fucked on chems and steroids prabably. It just seems to me that im being punished for his crimes. He gets to have a wife and a family. I dotn eant to be alive anymor e.
Well im ten years too young for hormone problems. What ghe fuck did tgry inject me eith? Not wven my âbestâ friend from going into highschhol would wven tell me.
I dont feel safe. I dint feel secure. Ive been co sysntky under attack fir years. Cherry was my last hope for having sonething that wasnt chaoctic in my envireibnent. Donething better, abseebce of bs. A perdon to comune with. Would havw dolved all my problems. Would have gotyen healthy. But, whatever.
Now my only motivation is to kill myself. All i can feel is my ass 24 hours a day and its dtiving ke tucken insane.
All the best partd of me are dying snd all thets honbs be lrfy over is bs. Fuckrn kill me already.
Just survive a while longer. Everything will be ok. Youâll see. Youâll be ok. I donât waht to anymore. Theres nothign good for me
In life. Its just full of fucken evil. Theres nothign good init. Theyve just waste my life away framing me ip for bs. Whats the point
I just want to quit this dayrape job and go back to having nothing. Cuae whatever they gove me is fucken bs.
I just go around spending everyday likes everything i s ok and so do they, will they rape my existance. Sometime sinsnap becaus eof it. And then they just hurt me.
Im hust ehatever they say i am. Which i donât know what.
Asked my mother for help one. While she was busy stairing off at nothing and she told me she didnât care. Next thing i m ow my btothrrs trying to mill me with an axe. And i get kick oy tog thr house again. And now im here.
I dint belong anywhere and i was just born to be fucked
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sudden rant turned spiral lol oops
my friend got tickets to see hozier aka andrew their wife and basically got them for us since i said id be down to go. personally im not like a fan where id go see him but id say im a casual listener. like i knew a good amount of songs. i loveee cherry wine and others. now that we have this concert coming up on june 7, ive become a listener. i gotta prepare and all that yknow. cant go to andrew unprepared. also..idk how?! but i was not aware of his thick irish accent.. loll and i mean, even in his new album, he sings with a clear accent?? idk how i never noticed before honestly. so yeah, im curious to know what a hozier concert will be liikeeee. this will be my second concert this yr and they both involve me going bc a friend asked me to go for company lol. i am going to another in august w my bf to see porter robinson and thats actually one i will really enjoy!! itll also be our first like âedmâ dance music type concert so itll be so cool. its at the same stadium that hozier will be at as welllll..but you see, what im procrastinating is telling my bf im going w my friend. my friend who hes not a fan of. the one who he thinks is a Threat! D: ive been knowing for likee 2 weeksish and havent said a single word about it agdjfkfl but i am calling it now.. i. will. tell. him. tomorrow. period. no ifs ands or buts. i need to stop worrying and just rip the bandaid off. once i do tho, im still gonna feel anxious bc literally The NEXt WEEk we will most likely go to my (ex)coworkers second party. (the one who threw a halloween party and i didnt know if wed go but we were already hanging out that day so i mentioned it prior and we ended up having enough time and the girls house was very close to me so we ended up dropping by and i told elias right then and there so it was very last minute and kind of fucked up of me but ive developed an avoidance thing towards him if it has to do with snow bc of everything and thats why now i cant help myself from feeling nervous to ever bring them up around him bc im scared heâll revert back and not love me and start resenting me and leave me and be mean to me and make me feel lonely and accuse me of things and say its my fault i started the friendship in the first place and that im not committed to him and dont love him anymore and everything else under the sun bc hes got trust issues which is a pain and heâll go from loving me so hard to not in a quick minute if he starts thinking the worst possibilities and i just cant handle all of that and tbh its nothing new so ive grown to understand the process and that itll pass but it really does suckk and it can turn into a turn off and then he becomes emotionally unavailable and then i become emotionally annoyed and then its a constant reoccurring cycle that doesnt always look the same but they follow the same theme which is trust and every time it happens i want to shout at his ex for causing him to develop this issue and this is me spiraling right now bc im nervous and to be crystal clear its not bc im doing anything shady at all or anything with this friend but i just wanna feel the freedom to just casually hang out with them without it feeling so taboo or whatever bc we still have so many plans that wed like to do and idk if he will ever be okay with me going to their house and idk when heâll ever get better where he wont care how many times we hang out or how often we talk and i just want him to chill about them bc theyre not a bad person at all theyre not this homewrecker girlfriend stealer he makes it out to beeee were literally just existinggg were literally just two friends who enjoy each others company and existence and have become very open and genuine with fairly quickly and we somehow just connected and i truly do love them as a friend and im happy weve crossed paths and stayed in touch and its just something he cant and wont fully understand about us but hes been trying to at least a little but is mainly just dealing with it bc he knows he cant stop me and im not gonna stop my friendship bc hes telling me to so,
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And we have a few things happen here in Charlotte county
-what is that we go ahead and remove people who are troublemakers and that was math and the max theyre going to do it today
-the other is said they feed our properly
-also are insisting on removing all the Bullock and get them out and to go after them
-they put out words and APB and warrants and stan and several active warrants on him. Who is fidgeting this morning I just saw the notice and it said that there's a warrant on you for the missiles so there you know that and said go back to sleep. But the warrant is real and it is for a stan and Sherry, and they're actively seeking them and going after them and they probably won't be around today and so our son is going to wait and he'll have to. Stands people will flow back in over the next weekend or this weekend it is
-other things going on. They are laying off the last percentages still you're working on 5% of Private industry to bring it to 10% and 5% of government workers bring it to 5% from 10% and they're working on the higher ups 2100 they want to bring it to 1500 still hasn't happened they are also working on letting people go from the State Assembly and the federal assembly and their support people are being let go and they're looking too far the actual Representatives several of them have gotten fired in the past few weeks for real there no longer the assembly and I keep trying to get back in and others don't allow it so they fight them. There's other notable events this being fairly notable
-they took the planning department and the building department yesterday and gutted it. That is they got rid of all the support workers and the building department and it's in Charlotte county in the two towns have them, it's already strapped and already over its limit and they can't even get to the stuff they have now they don't know where it is or what it is oh it stages in and I can't answer the phone so today is already started out very bad for them they're sitting in the office running around making faces at each other and they have no idea what to do it's way too much work there's too many people telling them what to do and it didn't know what to do with all the plans in the first place so they're calling up there are people asking what to do. And the orders are to do nothing so bja and Trump tell him to use it against them and just sit there and if they can't go home so sitting there for the past hour and they can't figure out what to do so they went home they've done it like 50 times just shut it down and then no inspectors going out so they're going to get fired and by their own people cuz they never do anything. We heard that this morning and they're planning on firing them this afternoon or tomorrow
-have some more lock in town are gone half of them. Yes. Half the others will be gone today from a variety of causes mostly they leave. And the neighborhood is at 110 and today we expected to fall my natural causes. It's a huge day there's a lot happening more shortly
Thor Freya
Good
Hera
Zues
Olympus
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