#catch me crying in the tags
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okay listen. It´s been a hot second since I last saw season 1 so I have absolutely no clue whether the whole Samurai X thing started before or after they took Lloyd in but for the sake of this comic, let´s pretend that it´s possible that Nya got the Samurai idea from Lloyd because I think it´s cute
The timeline is what I make of it.
Also, I NEED more content of the Lloyd & Nya friendship specifically. Especially bc they must have such a special bond due to them both being left out or at least joining the "main 4" later on. I think even later when they´re both fully integrated in the team that they´re especially close and this never changes. I´m sorry I am so emotional about them, these two mean so much to me AAAAHH
(Also sidenote: if anyone has recommendations for ninjago fanfics with little Lloyd or nice found family dynamics in general, pleeeeaaase drop them in the comments, I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER)
#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago fanart#ninjago season 1#lloyd garmadon#nya smith#nya jiang#rgb siblings#kid lloyd#little lloyd#catch me crying in the tags#I love them I love them I love them I love them I love them I lov-
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a redraw of a comic from 2020 heavily plagiarized from that one post ^^
#ace attorney#ace attorney fanart#athena cykes#simon blackquill#please don't ship tag#i'll cry#bruh remind me to never make digital comics ever again#watercolor comics you have my heart forever and always#athena headphones when i catch you#your poison on who he's talking to#could be what's his face we don't know
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share with jiujiu
#THE NEW ARTTTTTTTTT#UWUEUEUEEUUEYEEUUEEUU HELLO#im back i got revived with new art THEYRE MATCHING#big puppy little puppy…….catch me crying on the floor#in the corner im rocking back and forth#if nothing else at least these two will always have my back i trust them#jc Please im ready to be recruited as a nephew#jc looks at me like im a bug and i blink big eyes at him and we have a moment (←insane)#art tag#mdzs#jiang cheng#jin ling#jin ling and his jiujiu#fairy
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Thinking about how long both Stans were alone for. Stanley trying and failing to not be alone while Ford pushed everyone away. How everything would be different if they just always had each other. It all came to an end with Dipper and Mabel omg sedate me
#gravity falls#the book of bill#stanford pines#stanley pines#stan pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#thinking about them for too long makes me ill#more of my autistic thoughts#therapy isn’t enough I need to fight the creator of my hyperfixation#guys my period ended why am I still crying#Save me pathetic lonely old men#catching up after 8 years has made me emotional#hyperfixation#let me go#idk how tumblr works#too many tags#gravity falls thoughts
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young me should have indulged in persona more i missed out on so much,
#persona 5#persona 5 fanart#persona#persona fanart#UM WJHAT ARE THE PERSONA TAGS#akira kurusu#ren amamiya#p5 joker#what else do i add#self indulgent amamiya so id stop crying#i was crying because of him#how hilarious#man i got so much to catch up on#im starting on persona 5 since its the one im most familiar with#new artstyle? im experimenting#i like this one so far.. hehe..#i am nervous about postng this.. pleas dont jump me if i got something wrong..
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Finished AC Unity. RIP Arno Dorian you would’ve loved Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
#assassin’s creed#ac unity#arno dorian#arno victor dorian#elise de la serre#babblingbrook babbles#NO BC I DONT LIKE ELISE BUT I DID CRY WHEN SHE DIED#NOT BC SHE DIED BUT BC I WAS SO UPSET FOR ARNO#BRO COULD N O T CATCH A BREAK#he’s on the baby girl list now btw I will be making art of him tonight#I felt so bad for Arno the whole game#also he’s such a fucking smartass 😭😭#I ALSO SEE WHY EVERYONE HAS THE FATTEST ASS#he’s second for me I think Connor has the fattest but#Arno is close second#hey guys I’m unwell someone pls talk to me abt this game (im 10 years late)#to be fair I was also. 10 when this game came out.#adding a tag that’s supposed to say why everyone says Arno has the fattest ass#whoops
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peter bringing mayday with him to do spider stuff because yeah, he had things to live for before--but now he has a child and he is going to raise this child and be there for her and maybe if she’s there, strapped to his chest, he’ll be more careful. he’ll consider his life almost as precious as hers. maybe bringing mayday to work is a precaution.
#disclaimer: it's like 2am and i don't know what i just wrote because my brain won't function enough to read it over again#i also have read like zero spiderman comics so if this doesn't make sense because canon already speaks on it#i'm sorry#atsv spoilers#spiderman: across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse#peter b parker#mayday#i am having thoughts#PLEASE BLOCK APPROPRIATE TAGS IF YOU DON"T WANNA BE SPOILED PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU#miles morales#into the spiderverse#spiderman#spiderman spoilers#this thought came about because i think swinging around with a child is the stupidest/coolest thing ever#and i feel like peter wouldn't do it without a reason#anyway sorry for the random change in fandoms i saw the movie tonight and it was fantastic#also#catch me crying in the theatre because peter wants his daughter to turn out like miles#OKAY IM DONE SPAMMING THE TAGS NOW BYE#across the spiderverse spoilers#spiderman across the spiderverse
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hiii hiiiiiiiii hhi!!!! Hiiiiiiiii!! Hi! hiiiiiiiii [detonates]
#SORRY FOR BEING MIA#adult life was adulting oof#BUT IM RECHARGED NOW 🫡#hope everyones been doing well!!<3#good news for me and bad new for u all ---> local moot back to yell and cry in everyone's tag#(which also 3 HOURS !!!!!!!!!!!! for intense yelling!!!!!!)#ALSO warning: i Will be spamming in the next couple of hours trying to catch up with everything .so sorry in advance 🙏#hope i didn't miss too much#🫂💖
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I hate this fucking baka series
#said with affection. and sadness#in tears rn#the ending is so beautiful i love it#tomura and izuku make me cry tho#WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU HORI WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU#in another world all might would have married into the midoriya family and then adopted tomura#and then also got another corgi called mon chan 2#and the villains would be fine and and and *collapses*#bnha#bnha season 7#bnha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#sorta? there's an implication in the tags sooo#shigaraki and midoriya#mettys posts#metty posts#tomura shigaraki#izuku midoriya
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not to live from arena stožice post but the metulji - vse kar vem - barve oceana - ngvot - vem da greš - ne bi smel sequence was scientifically engineered to kill me
#like. why would they do this to me. i love it here but oh my god. when can i catch a break from good songs and crying#joker out#sure i'll tag this
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Work in progress? Idk if I want to color it properly, I’ve been up working on this after the stream ended
#epic the musical#epic the wisdom saga#epic odysseus#epic calypso#jorge rivera herrans#jorge when i catch you jorge#Odysseus’s crying out for Athena fucked me up#just#everything about wisdom saga#perfect and heartbreaking#also I’ve actually been meaning to draw something for epic#and I’ve been working on this since one am after the stream ended#with the album on repeat most of the time#or with just love in paradise on repeat because of the ending and the beginning#this is based on the ending#artists on tumblr#digital art#photoshop#small artist#digital aritst#work in progress#my art#also I don’t know if these designs are my favorite#I wanted something#idk more? some ✨✨flair✨✨#but I also wanted to get this out while I could before I abandoned it#epic spoilers#wisdom saga spoilers#should I tag the odyssey#I won’t
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ILY FP 258
I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.
Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.
I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!
That's enough rambling, let's jump in.
There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.
But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.
A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.
This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.
I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.
There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.
As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.
Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.
And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.
How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).
He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.
He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.
And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;
For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.
I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...
Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.
But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.
I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.
I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.
And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.
Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.
#ILY Brainrot#ILY FP#ILY Spoilers#I Love Yoo#Kousuke Hirahara#Shinhye#idk what to tag her as because we know she isn't known as Shinhye anymore#and because Simhan and their mother never married AND she was from a previous relationship Yoo isn't even her family name#so I can't really use Shinhye Yoo lol#alas#anyway this episode was DEVASTATING and quimchee said it's the beginning of the sad episodes meant to happen in March#literally said 'It's all downhill from here'#which I take to mean til the timeskip#BUCKLE UP BABIES WE'RE GOING FOR A BIG CRY SESH ;______;#i gotta say tho this episode didn't even make me cry - i guess because none of this is new and I've been bracing myself for it#Kousuke is so fucking wet cat it agonizes me ;_____;#I could write a whole essay on how Yui destroyed him and Nol in one fell swoop#i think a lot about precocious little Kousuke who tried so hard to be a good little boy and rushed through school because he wanted so badl#to hurry up and catch up to his father and join him in the workplace#all the opportunities he lost#the way he tried to fit himself into a personality a person he never picked out but just believed would get him what he wanted#he lost himself in the process#or maybe he never even got to know himself#i think too a lot about Kousuke who played piano and gave it up when he came to believe it wasn't important to his dad#that it didn't garner the attention and praise he seeked#so he dropped it to better mold himself into someone he thought Rand WOULD be proud of#FUCKING DEVASTATED#I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF SOBS
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I know it’s already getting unbearably hot but who wants to come try and nap with both me and my heating pad anyway
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#it’s like a knight’s trial#having the actual worst period cramps of my life rn#and i’m Suffering with this heating pad#i hate being hot but jesus christ ow i need this to try to make my organs CHILL#and the worst thing??#absolutely NO ONE is here to cuddle with me#offensive#THIS. THIS is one of those situations where i KNOW the nap would be better with someone else😤#even if it’s just because then i wouldn’t be lonely lol#pls come nap with me and overheat and also listen to all my complaints - again OW - and love me anyway#my craziest fantasy🥵🥵#oh and also NO judging all my crying my period loves making me cry smh#im literally crying over nothing right now🙄 like it’s just a Thing™️ okay#im a CATCH#wait god the heating pad turned off for a sec#saw my life flash before my eyes when it started cooling down😓#crying even more now🙄🙄🫠#it’s going swimmingly very good like i said im a CATCH#🙃🙃🙃#sorry for all the tags idk what im even saying anymore smh#im gay and i like sleeping
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WHAT THE FUCCCKKK WHY DID IT END LIKE THAT??? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#…..yeah u alrwady know whats up#the amazing digital circus#spoilers in the next tags now ofc#ragatha…….. my dear ragatha trying her absolute fucking hardest to cheer pomni up#we all saw it coming a mile away bless her soul#and the entire scene under the map#pomni immediately latching onto gummy goo’s misery and being so soft and comforting made me want to THROW UP AND BAWL MY EYES OUT#bc….. rags doesnt know that if she just stopped trying to act overly positive and push everything that happened to her aside#and instead was real with her and tried to find ways they felt similar about being trapped#she would have been so much more successful in helping her like she wanted#FUUUCKKK!!!!!!!!#and the FUCKING FUNERAL FOR KAUFMO?????#jaw dropped when zooble came in saying that#that whole fucking end scene makes me want to throw up and BAWL#THE HANDS REACHING OUT TO POMNI AND CATCHING HER#OUGHDHFHFHHHH#the ragapom enjoyers have been fed.#btw#i have been fed#rewatching throwing up shitting and crying#two big rips to gummy goo and gangles happy mask only being on for 4 minutes and 7 seconds (yeah i checked)#anyway ragatha and pomnis voices are so nice inlove women#and jax showing an emotion for a 000000.00001th of a frame#the jax fans are gonna go crazy over that i can tell#yall can have him but also that facial expression couldve been abt queenie just my hunch tho#SPEAKING OF kinger having a split second of clarity talkin to rags in that scene?#he was absolutely fatherly to her when she first appeared#wish we could see this so bad#time to be normal now alr buhbye#slaps a lesbian sticker on ragatha for doing like 4 finger guns and flirting with the queen
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I need a Friendship Title for Laios and Marcille because I love their relationship SO MUCH
#there are some good ships but tbh you’ll catch me actually crying the most over these two#i like having friendship titles like ship tags#dungeon meshi
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*through snot and tears* That was a perfect Sister Abigail
#they always got me ugly crying#before he actually passed away I had just gotten Bray Wyatt merch#he was the first wrestler I got attached to when I got back into wrestling and started playing catch up#I’m always gonna miss him 😭😭😭#wwe#bray wyatt#uncle howdy#not me rambling in my own tags
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