#captain is rambling again

[captain-krow-drozdov]

Pros: Get The Monkey Kings Powers

Cons: The Monkey Kings Powers Is Actually Just Supernatural ADHD

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

[the-palelady]

i need to know if anyone else thinks of this specific screenshot because i think about it 8 million times a fucking day. why is he so big i need him to look down at me that way i need him to throw me across the room i beggeth like don't even joke with me lad

i can take him and ghost. decipher that how you will

[majinbangus]

Being sick but wanting ice cream so you try to sneak out in the middle of the night to buy some like a disheveled gremlin all stuffy and sweaty, feverish in nothing but your pajamas and bathrobe, but just as you're about to leave, the light turns on and a pair of arms wrap around your waist to drag you back in bed for rest.

"Ach?! What the-?"

"Thought you could sneak away, huh?" Your man grumbles, unyielding as he (gently) manhandles you along, shooting you a mean stink eye for your attempted misadventure. "I'm special forces; where did y'think you were goin', sweetheart?"

You feel yourself start to sweat and not from the fever. "No-nowhere, darling, I was just-"

"Using pet names won't butter me up." He tightens his hold when you get squirmy. "Stop that. You need rest, y'muppet."

You blame it on your fever-addled brain, but you try to bargain with him. Promise to be good if he lets you go. Tell him how happy it'd make you if he granted this one wish. A lot of woe, is me peppered in your plea. As it turns out, he's got an iron will, and you need to work on your persuasive skills. Not surprising, but still.

"I want ice cream!" You half-heartedly thrash in his arms, making him click his tongue, adjusting his grip as to not hurt you.

"Fuckin'- stop that!"

"No, lemme go!"

Your feverish resistance is no match for his strength. All you pull from him is a frustrated grunt, annoyed with your antics.

"You're sick. Where you need to go is our bed." He leans in close to your ear, lowering his voice to a growl. "Or do I need to tie you down?"

The threat has the desired effect and makes you go limp in his arms, if a little pouty. You know he would do it. He's done it before, and he'll do it again. He's a man of his word, and (majority of the time) you know when to listen.

He successfully wrangles you back in bed, getting you to lie back down in warm sheets with little complaint. No rope is necessary, but he wraps you up in his arms just in case. A tried and true form of pinning you down. You never thought he'd use this method against you while you were incapacitated, but you're a wily one, even when you're sick. He'll make sure you can't escape.

You may have failed your little mission, but it's not too terrible of a loss. Not when it led you to being cuddled in his arms.

You still wish you got your ice cream, though. It's been forever since you had some. Too bad you'll only get to painfully, dramatically, yearn for your lost love now.

There's a deep chuckle puffing against your ear, and then you're being hugged tighter to your captor.

"I know that look. Don't pout. I'll get you your ice cream. Just get better for me first. Alright, mischief?"

... Alright.

[imnotditzy]

Imagine if Billy didn’t know Shazam died?

(This is actually apart of my AU lol)

But what if Billy didn’t know Shazam, the Wizard, was actually dead? Like maybe he did see Shazam get crushed by rocks but he just thinks a Wizard could survive that, Or he doesn’t remember meeting Shazam for whatever reason. (Like he knows it happened because his pantheon told him so, and he remembers like a tiny bit of being at the RoE, but maybe he doesn’t remember Shazam dying)

This would be kinda funny to think about, especially if the pantheon’s trying desperately not to let Billy know Shazam died. But they occasionally slip up, and each time they do Billy gets slightly more suspicious. Also, in my AU since Billy and Marvel and separate entities, I think it would be funny aswell if Marvel didn’t know either. (—which I do have an AU explanation to make it work, but I fear I may be getting too off track already.)

—

Heracles: Shazam was a good wizard.

Marvel: Was?

Heracles: IS, is. I simply misspoke—Shazam is a good wizard.

Marvel: Oh… 🧐

Billy: 🤨

—

Imagine if literally every other magic being knows Shazam’s dead, but Captain’s just none the wiser and tries to talk to them about the Wizard.

—

Zatanna: So…how’d you get your powers?

Billy (as Cap): Oh, by this Wizard, his name’s, uh…

grabs a piece of paper and scribbles the name down

Zatanna: Shazam?

Billy: Yup! Gave me my powers, have you heard of him? I think he’s very well known. I haven’t seen him in a while. Hope he’s still doing alright.

Zatanna (Going pale at the mention of a very much dead Wizard being referred to in present tense): Mhm….yeah…

—

(the league in the cafeteria, listening to one of the rare times they got Captain to talk about themself. —Billy’s just procrastinating going outside in the midwestern November cold.)

Billy: So I got my powers from this Wizard, his names…um. I think I told Zatanna? Captain looks over at her.

Zatanna (going pale): Really. I don’t remember.

Billy: Oh, okay, that’s fine! Here.

Grabs a piece of paper and scribbles down the name.

Superman: Shazam?

Every magic user in the cafeteria freezes.

Billy: Yeah! He’s the wizard who gave me my powers. I haven’t seen him since I became Captain Marvel, though. I should really go talk to him, maybe I’ll do that later.

****

Achilles: But what if we didn’t…

Hercules: How about we don’t…

Solomon: That wouldn’t be a good choice, Billy.

Zeus: I agree, you’d be just of a fool as Atlas to go.

Atlas (offended): Wow.

****

Zatanna (uncomfortable): I don’t think you should…

[cloverrallover]

still thinking abt anya and how other ppl r characterizing her tbh… like I know it’s a regular ass fandom thing to take meek women and turn that dial up to ten but like… I genuinely do not believe that Anya is anything like how we see her thru jimmy’s ryes 😭 I don’t think her interactions with curly are even her being herself to the fullest extent, like, knowing he’s jimmy’s best buddy and whatever. in her last moments she’s self assured and confident, and of course u can argue that it’s because. yknow. but I believe that she was probably that way before the tulpar as well. likeeee she applied for med school 8 times. that reads imo as somebody who is sure they DESERVE to be there, who is stubborn and strong willed, unlike the way a lot of people portray her. she acts that way around jambalaya and curly because she knows the character she’s been typecasted as by them. I don’t think she’s like, this secret mastermind supervillain or anything, but I think she’s a very smart, capable woman who knows who she is and why she does the things she does

[isabeauwolf]

That challenging smug smile 🫣🤭🥰❣️😍 Law's not giving up, he's just getting started! Get'em, my snow leopard 🐆 Go kick some ass!

[fanartist666]

i am

A mess

Somebody (????) Insults you (and/or optional kids) to price (husband/daddy) who goes full on Ser Harwin 'Breakbones' Strong I'M-

There isn't enough appreciation for how fucking feral Price actually is/can be

John Price has Harwin Strong vibes (he also SCREAMS Stark to me, his bloodlines in Game of Thrones show so much Strong, Baratheon and Stark)

Just picture it, you're married and an SAS captain of a different group (technically ok in British Military rules I think) working with your husband, John Price, on an OP.

You've captured some guy with the intel you need, and your team are with 141 interrogating them, you're standing a little back with John, a united front. Maybe one too many glances at one another tell this freak you're an item and he goes in.

He spouts off insults about you, and how sooner or later one of you will be widowed or smthn, (i totally saw smthn like this w ghost) maybe makes a jab at kids if you've got them or not

And you look at him, suddenly your husband has tackled this dude, just punching and punching and punching, he won't stop, daring the prisoner to say it again, it takes literally everyone in that room (maybe six or seven people, grown military men, including Nikolai) to drag him off

John is screaming like a bear to "fuckin' let go of me" and once or twice (before everyone realises that they do in fact need everyone) he bullies his way out of their grip to do it again.

The prisoner is well shaken from that experience and once the concussion goes away will tell you literally anything "As long as you don't bring him back in here."

It's a little bit (VERY) attractive

[momentomori24]

For as much of a raging, misogynistic monster Jimmy is, especially towards Anya-- sexually harassing her, treating her with no respect, constantly belittling her and her work and worth, being generally extremely inconsiderate, ect-- I never really got the impression that he hated her, surprisingly. He absolutely resents her for the pregnancy he forced on her and envisions it as a monster out to hunt him down, sure, but he still included her in this delusional fantasy of a happy birthday celebration. In his mind, she's shown as encouraging and adoring, referring to him as their Captain Jimmy, showering him that recognition and reverence he always wanted. It's interesting, because given how he acts towards her, you'd think she'd be more silent and out of the way-- or better yet, not included at all considering how hard he tried to block her from his mind in comparison to Daisuke, Curly and even Swansea during the guilt sequences. But she is included, and not at all in a negative light.

To me it doesn't really seem he hates Anya personally as much as he hates everything she means for him. For as little respect as he has for her, he seems fine around her in general. He doesn't really seem to mind her when she fawns over him, when she exists in their group as an active member, because I imagine those traits about her wouldn't be present here if he did. He doesn't really mind thinking about Anya, her being on his mind at all-- until he has to confront what he had done to her, the consequences of his actions, the way her pregnancy would negatively affect him and how he should feel guilty and owe her an apology more than everyone else. Then all of sudden she's physically nowhere to be seen, the memory of her banished to the darkest corners of his fractured mind-- suppressed and buried, where he'll never have to think about her again.

In this celebratory delusion, she's allowed to exist. In the guilt sequences, she is not. Her absence has nothing to do with her and everything to do with him.

[ghostingadam]

havers felt the same. havers 👏🏼 felt 👏🏼 the same. the way his face lit up when he saw his james across the room. after years of wondering, years of missing him. i can imagine him in the trenches of north africa/wherever else he went thinking about his james. he had to know that james came just for him, to see if he was alive, if after all the war and pain and bloodshed, if his anthony was alive. he loved him back. never knowing if he’d see him again but loving him back. and he saw him, one last time. and he took his last breath touching his hand. the man he loved, died on the floor while everyone looked on, silent. james’ last words to him were a declaration of his love that lasted a whole war. “i know” was all he could say, probably all he could think to say, as the man he loved died on the floor in front of him. in james’ last moments, he knew anthony felt the same. i can’t imagine how he must’ve felt, how his life went after that. but at least he knew. they knew. that their love would be everlasting. james would love him the rest of his life and death.

[gunnrblze]

I wanna talk about this mans entrance to the game being him diving to tackle a fucking wolf off of Logan out of no where…

Merrick didn’t miss ONCEEE (except when half the ghosts died and got kidnapped but that was a team wide L tbh).

[captain-krow-drozdov]

Alrighty, I'm Watchin Lego Monkey Kid Which Means I'm Prolly Goin To Get Real Annoying About It Pretty Soon, This Has Been A PSA.

[pixylpaws]

look! its 99% of the dressrosa arc in one picture! (luffy grabbing an immobile and severely injured trafalgar law before running straight through anything in his path iiiiin order to violently dethrone the nation's king!!)

one piece is the ever

[youandthemountains]

it probably is insane how much I wish I could express the thing about spones. the vibes about spones. Like there's the joking fun fandom vibes and I love them, I love to play with them, of course of course. but the THING. the CORE to me. i wish i could capture it and share it.

[biscuitboba]

Thinking about the way kuma said that zoro could've frickin died at that time (in thriller bark) from receiving luffy's pain, kuma literally said "you will die", but he didn't. Which is actually kind of like a miracle itself.

Like, zoro should be grateful that he is even still alive?? i think that alone is already an incredible achievement???, but then, later (several days?) after he woke up, he said "we've grown a lot since that time", with a smile. In front of his crew.

BUT not long after that, when he was all alone, as zoro continued with his training, he said "i must become stronger!! im still too weak...!!!"

You were strong enough to endure your captain's pain and live zoro... like what makes you think that you are still far too weak?? Earlier you even said something along the lines 'we have grown a lot' no??

When he said "im still too weak" I think what he actually meant was that he still feels too weak. Too weak to keep his captain for getting hurt. Not strong enough to keep luffy from experiencing incredible pain. Like we all know something was different (changing) about zoro after experiencing luffy's pain.

His first expression towards luffy after waking up post thriller bark was actually this one: a smile, a soft one. (Idk, but i just think it's kinda sweet, especially after what he did in thriller bark for luffy's sake)

Also i think it's safe to say that his protective side towards luffy kinda increased (sightly?) after thriller bark incident. Exhibit A:

Emphasizing again but, i just think that after thriller bark.. there was a very subtle change within zoro, right after the incident, that i can't put into words.

And after the whole marineford accident, in Kuraigana Island we get the definitive proof of how getting stronger for luffy is very important for zoro, even more than his own pride...

In post-TS you can even see more of zoro's protective side for luffy (im talking about punk hazard or wano)

All im saying is that post-TS zoro is the accumulation of what happened to him in thriller bark + what happened to luffy in marineford + the 2 years of training under mihawk.

I just think that he cares so soo much about his captain...

And God can't stop thinking about these panels

Oda will you let luffy know about zoro's sacrifice someday??

[hellish-heart-ships]

The moment I accepted my new life and true calling