#never give up on your dreams kids
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izsheum · 15 days ago
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Hello!!!
Can i listen to you yap about rodimus and swerve for hours please 🥺🥺🥺🥺
WHEN I TOLD YOU I JUMPED FOR JOY!!!
ugh these guys have been in my brain for a bit now…i swear
“it’d be cool if i took my favs and made them kiss haha that’d be so silly” and then Boom. I kept thinking.
have some art of them i am in the trenches methinks
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when i tell you they are PEAK yapper + louder yapper…
like i genuinely believe that’s how it can start. two losers who love to hear themselves talk? it should be a recipe for disaster.
However.
it’s not like swerve doesn’t know when it’s not his turn to talk. he’s got a big mouth, and criminal levels of audacity, but he has manners. and that means that whenever rodimus goes on and on about whatever bullshit he had to deal with during the day, he listens.
and, good lord, rodimus can definitely talk.
he does so with swerve probably after having a few because i mean…that’s how this starts, surely. a bottle of top-shelf and a purely functional arrangement.
(hundreds of words of sleep-deprivation-induced writing under the cut. i am so sorry. completely sfw btw just barely on the edge of suggestive.)
predictably, swerve’s constant chatter is bearable after rodimus gets in a few drinks. and in the beginning of Whatever The Hell They Got Going On starts with the two of them building a routine.
swerve supplies the shots of liquid stress relief and a listening ear (audio processor? cybertronian anatomy is lost on me), and rodimus provides what can only be described as a semi-coherent stream of complaints and whines about his day. and he has a lot to gripe about—he’s suffering from an acute case of ‘doomed by the narrative’, primus help him.
and swerve, for the most part, is quite a good active listener. not that rodimus would ever admit that out loud (for now) because swerve wouldn’t be able to keep that kinda praise to himself. i mean, the guy raved for months after getting his own rodimus star…yeah, no, not happening. rodimus’ appreciation will remain unspoken, thank you very much.
he gets his sentiment of ‘thank you for listening to my bullshit, you’re such a good friend’ out there by continuing to show up. same time, every day, like clockwork. he’s there in the bar, long laundry list of things he’s going to cry like a baby about, and swerve is at the ready with the fainting couch. their little ‘whine and cheese hour’ (as swerve calls it. rodimus will adamantly deny that he likes the name. it’s not clever. it’s not! it’s apparently a human thing, anyways. little thief.) is probably the only thing he’s ever on-time for at this rate.
having someone listen politely to your woes is. nice! having someone gently try and guide you into solutions to said problems is…manageable, i suppose.
having someone who gasps dramatically and exclaims “i can’t believe you had to deal with that—you’re so much stronger than me for putting up with such scrap” is euphoric.
because since getting the weight of the universe thrust on his shoulders again and again. since he had it ground into him every single day that he needs to be this mature, wise, thoughtful leader who doesn’t react to problems with complaints, but rather calm understanding followed by benevolent resolution…rodimus has completely, truly missed just being able to talk shit.
and, oh, does swerve just love that song and dance.
this isn’t therapy, and neither of them are going to pretend it is, though the constant flow of drinks does manage to feel like something akin to self-medication after a while. their lives are messy, god damn it, and they’re going to cope with it messily!
and cope they do. and they talk. a lot. and—for some reason—it helps. turns out, when you get to vent all your frustrations towards someone who knows how to match your energy exactly, you feel seen. not as this esteemed figure who needs to watch what he says and make sure he keeps up the display of picture-perfect-motivational-cat-poster-leader twenty-four-seven, three-sixty-five…but as just. a guy. a guy with a lot on his shoulders and a lot more on his mind. turns out, talking with swerve ends up helping rodimus feel normal.
go figure.
and somewhere between the start of their little unofficial gossip sessions and the end of another bottle of the good engex, something bubbles up that wasn’t there before. and it isn’t the carbonation in the cocktail.
feelings. affectionate ones. rodimus goes to recharge afterwards all giddy, like some newly forged spark still buzzing with boundless energy, and honestly? he feels like he might be going crazy. might need some actual fucking therapy, because ho-ly shit he is not about to entertain this. not at all.
because, let’s be real here, it’s swerve we’re talking about. swerve. s-w-e-r-v-e. the ‘shut your damn mouth’ guy? he used to annoy the living hell out of rodimus when he first came aboard, and nowadays rodimus finds himself excited at the thought of going to talk to him again.
war changes people…and, okay, the war is. over, technically. but still. maybe he hit his head a little too hard during a mission. yeah! yeah, that’s it. little concussion knocked a couple things loose in his processor. that’s why he’s suddenly wanting to share more than just his woes with the little ‘bot. that’s why he starts asking swerve about himself, why he starts listening back. chimes in every so often with “huh, i never knew that” or “you should show that to me some time” when swerve goes on his little tirades about foreign media.
why rodimus can’t help but wonder how that big mouth would feel against—
phew! yeah, definitely brain damage. because the alternative is that rodimus has started feeling terrible, awful, affectionate things for swerve. and that just won’t do. nope!
but ohhhhhh god, does that do nothing to stop his imagination. because really. how would swerve fare if he used that mouth for something else—
thankfully for rodimus, swerve is an avid fan of imagining things that he can never have. dreaming like the hopeless mech he is about a future that only someone as deeply delusional and para-social as himself could think up.
in his swerve-y fantasy, the talks start to mean something. rodimus goes from coworker to situational friend to…something. something that he can’t place his finger on. but it’s something that he doesn’t believe he can have. because while rodimus laughs at his jokes…he’s also laughing drunk. and swerve is desperate to let people close, sure. he likes people, he wants friends, he loves connection. but he’s not stupid. a bit air-headed? sure. but not dumb. not by a long shot. he has a mental list of things that he can try to have (friendship, a successful business, endless adventures with said friends that he plans to get more of, he swears), and things that are off-limits.
you can guess which box rodimus starts to fall into.
doesn’t mean he can’t…y’know. think about him. a lot. find excuses to comm him about this or that, subtly hint that he misses him…uh, he meant their talks! offer him free drinks just to see the way his face lights up. deny the suspicion of special treatment by reminding rodimus that he’s the captain! c’mon! of course he deserves a little leeway!
and ignore the fact that the reassurance is more for himself.
swerve is so good at believing that this something he imagines with rodimus is so, so far out of reach that he thinks it’s a joke when rodimus propositions him for the first time.
and, c’mon, he’s gotta be having auditory hallucinations. because there’s no fucking way in the world—in the galaxy, or in the whole universes that he’s visited, for that matter—that (co-) captain fucking rodimus prime-not-prime-status-still-pending-thanks-a-lot-matrix-of-lameship asked to borrow him for the evening. he nearly drops the glass in his hand.
because that’s the only way rodimus can bring himself to phrase it when he finally fucking gets through all five-billion stages of grief over this stupid crush. god. he was so pathetic. the worst part was that he didn’t even care anymore.
“yo! are you working tonight? can i borrow you for the rest of it? we can watch that movie you were talking about earlier this week, or whatever.”
or whatever. rodimus would’ve just tossed himself out the nearest airlock if he wasn’t glued to his recharged slab (not literally, this time) rocking back and forth like an asylum patient. he could hear the cries now—nurse! nurse! he’s out again!
successful attempts at being casual: zero. days since last urge to ram his head into the wall: also zero.
swerve’s response comes in quickly just before rodimus contemplates jumping ship and taking a page outta megatron’s book and starting a new life in another universe. and if rodimus wasn’t busy having a fucking panic attack, he’d’ve noticed the undercurrent of excitement in swerve’s voice when he strains out those six little words.
“sure thing! your place or mine?”
it ends up being at rodimus’. more space meant more wall for the projection of ‘Alien’.
not that they ended up paying much attention to the movie by the time the fledgling xenomorph got loose.
and liiiisten. listen. they didn’t plan on it going that way, alright? major props to ridley scott—the two of them were intensely invested in the film for a good long while. but, as per usual, swerve brought drinks to help ease the tension that threatened to smother them as soon as he entered rodimus’ quarters.
he would’ve pat himself on the back, too, if he wasn’t so consumed by the way the light of the projection reflected off of rodimus’ frame. and rodimus would’ve thanked him (and i mean, like, actually thank him, no reluctance left in him whatsoever) if he wasn’t so focused on the warmth of swerve next to him.
the elephant in the room was slaughtered and left for dead in the same way as the crew of the nostromo as soon as they locked eyes.
and rodimus ended up being right.
swerve’s mouth could do a lot more than just talk.
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luckyraeve · 1 year ago
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Ada [trying to sneak away to complete her mission]: "My leg… I can't walk like this. Just get out of here. Save yourself." Claire: "I'm not leaving you behind. I'll do the walking. You do the shooting." Lol Ada, you tried. ⭐ This is the second half of my RE2 AU where the team-ups are switched. First half is [here]. *please reblog to show support. do not re-upload*
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Just realized black pete was blackbeards second degree right hand man for like an hour
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rebel-pilot-bex · 2 years ago
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BOSS BITCH PALPATINE
So the moment Palpatine showed up i was like well shit this is gonna be good cos he's a master manipulatar, he's deffo throwing Rampart under the bus.
Then he Topped it of when he said it wasn't Rampart alone, I was like wait a god damn minute what is he upto.
He truly deserves the galaxy cos he worked his ass of to get it, hes THE Boss bitch.
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littleeyesofpallas · 2 years ago
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Tensei Kizoku no Isekai Boukenroku[転生貴族の異世界冒険録]: Reincarnation Noble's Otherworld Adventure Record
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erikahenningsen · 8 months ago
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Regina visiting Janis at work
If Janis gets fired from this job, it will not be because she is bad at selling moderately priced soaps. She's actually not bad at it, although all her job really consists of is ringing people up and restocking the shelves.
No, if she gets fired, it will be Regina's fault. Every time she walks in the store, Janis knows that this day could be her last.
Like today: Regina plunks a jar of hand cream on the counter in front of Janis and complains, "This smells bad."
"Then don't buy it," Janis tells her, making a notation on her inventory clipboard. She takes the jar and sets it aside, knowing Regina won't put it back in the right place, if she puts it back at all.
"Who would want their hands to smell like spearmint?" Regina asks, wrinkling her nose.
"People who aren't you."
"It's gross," Regina says. "I don't know how this store stays in business."
"We carry a variety of scents for a variety of people," Janis recites tiredly.
Regina leans against the counter and sighs dramatically. She does look very pretty today, wearing a shirt with a plunging neckline—coupled with the way Regina is leaning over the counter, Janis momentarily forgets the difference between hand cream and hand soap.
"Can I help you with something?" Janis asks exasperatedly. "Because I really need to get this done."
"I'm bored," Regina whines.
Janis gestures to the exit of the store, which leads into the mall. "Then go to one of the many other establishments."
Regina touches the inside of Janis's wrist, right over her pulse point. "But you're here," she says, managing to make it sound more like a complaint than an endearment.
Nevertheless, it makes Janis's chest warm that Regina wants to spend time with her, even if she doesn't particularly want to be doing it here—that Regina will endure apparently offensive odors just to hang out with Janis.
"Um, excuse me?"
Janis looks up to see a lady around her mom's age. "Hi," Janis greets.
The woman slides a piece of paper over the counter along with a tube of body lotion. "I have this coupon," she says.
Janis takes the coupon and looks at it, then frowns. "Sorry, but this expired a couple of weeks ago," she says apologetically. "The promotion is over."
The woman stares at her. "It's expired?" she asks.
"Yes, sorry," Janis apologizes again.
"But I was out of town," the woman says. "I couldn't have gotten here before it expired."
Janis sighs internally. She has a conversation like this every time the store does some kind of promotion or sale. "Unfortunately I can't accept it," she says, as firmly as she can.
"But—"
"She said no," Regina cuts in, glaring at the lady. "Your inability to read the fine print is your problem."
"Regina!" Janis hisses at the same time the woman says, "Excuse me?"
Regina turns to Janis and widens her eyes, like she has no idea why Janis is scolding her.
"I'm sorry, ma'am," Janis starts, "I—"
"I'd like to speak to your manager," the woman says curtly.
"How do you know I'm not the manager?" Regina says, stepping closer.
Janis grabs her arm, nails digging in warningly. "She is not the manager," Janis says, ignoring the dirty look Regina gives her.
"Janis?"
Janis briefly closes her eyes before turning to see her actual manager.
"What's going on?" he asks, bewildered.
"Banned," Janis says to Regina in a low tone. "You're banned from this store."
"Fine!" Regina huffs. "I didn't need to buy foot cream for my grandma, anyway."
Ten minutes after Regina storms off, while Janis is being lectured by her manager, she receives a text.
Regina George: bored. miss you
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piratekane · 9 months ago
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i love hearing about you and your wife it gives me so much warmth and hope - if your comfortable, do you have a first meeting or first date story? totally ok if you'd not share! i hope you and your wife have a wonderful anniversary, 11 years is quite a feat!
oh ho ho you've unlocked my special interest. i love talking about our first meeting/date.
(a read more because i did not make this short)
we actually "met" on tumblr! we both signed up for this penpal blog where you got matched with someone who had similar interests as you. i verified with my wife this morning and we both said we liked cats-i'm assuming that's what they matched us over. i dropped a joke in her inbox that went unanswered for days despite her reblogging and posting and was like welp, that was a good shot, champ, but you messed it up. no friends for you.
now, this was in the days when tumblr's inbox system (which limited you to 10 asks a day) ate every other message. so it's not that she didn't think it was funny, she just didn't get it. i found this out when i dropped the same joke a second time in her inbox and lo and behold! she thought it was funny. (i have recycled this joke many times over the year and always get an eye roll. like, babe. it's a classic. it's the thundapants joke!)
she did not think it was funny when i told her i was a transplant living in the the armpit of massachusetts because-lo and behold a second time-that's where she grew up and was also still living! it was an auspicious start for me, truly. we figured out that we had a bunch of things in common-i did my student teaching at her high school when she was a senior there, i was a substitute teacher for her little sister's 8th grade class, we missed each other in college by a couple of classes, my roommate and best friend worked at the PT office my wife frequented. we kind of went around each other for a while before we finally landed in the same place.
it took me a month and a half of my best jokes to convince her to go on a date with me because, as she said, she was super nervous. i was like, you have not truly met me yet because i am the stupidest person on earth and not worthy of nervousness. but she finally said yes! and we went out to a local chinese restaurant for crab rangoons. it shared a parking lot with the diner i worked at so i ate there all the time and the people there were so surprised i was (a) sitting down to eat and (b) eating with somebody!
(thus began our tradition of ending up on someone else's first date. the couple behind us was clearly meeting for the first time. he was telling her his credit score and that she could order whatever she wanted off the menu, no worries because he could pay for it. we cringed each time he opened his mouth but it was kind of perfect in a way because it gave us something to whisper about. we have since ended up on way too many first dates to count. it is kind of just a thing that happens to us, no matter where we go.)
our date was really, really good. we had talked A LOT via tumblr inbox (messages didn't exist yet) and the conversation just kind of picked up in person. so much so that 4 hours went by and they were putting up the chairs. and then we talked for a while in the parking lot too until my roommate hit me with the "are you alive or did she murder you and dump your body somewhere?" text. i left her on read and kept talking until the restaurant locked up and all the people went home. i just didn't want to leave. i felt like i knew my wife already, you know? like things just clicked. she was funny and intelligent and she listened when i went on the first of many, many tangents. her patience for me is unmatched and started out that way.
we spent the rest of the summer we lived there spending as much time as we could together. i distinctly remember doing short order cook shifts at the diner i worked at and then rolling up to her house to pick her up and drive around. we had to drive with the windows down because my clothes just effused grease from the fryers. we watched so many movies at my apartment-which is hilarious because about a year into our relationship she informed she was NOT a movie person, she just wanted to spend time together. we have watched maybe ten movies together since that first year.
then i got a full-time job on the other side of the mountain, we moved, bought a house, got married, and the rest is history. but we get crab rangoons on every anniversary and do a lame-o instagram post about each other and i continue to be the stupidest person in the room, just very stupid over her.
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anxiously-sidequesting · 1 month ago
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one characteristic about Duncan that i really like and that im totally not reaching for is his unwavering persistence and hard work
in the original tutorial he was shown to be this lazy kid who wanted to reap the rewards without putting in the effort, he was totally content with letting the wizard do HIS homework. BUT (and his later appearance in the Arcanum aligns with this) in the updated tutorial he seems to WANT to do it only his part, but every single other part and would get frustrated if his skills wouldn't allow him to multitask.
even during his """"""villain arc"""""" (the child-turned-young man who was manipulated and indoctrinated into a cult will never be the bad guy to me sorry! that's my L opinion for the day!) duncan kept that original fire to be the best after working so hard to get it (DESPITE the Schism twisting these thoughts into something more akin to resentment and jealousy, and giving him the illusion of choice. the Schism broke Duncan, but not in a way that diminished his fighting spirit)
and then in the Selenopolis update, he seems to be doing actually pretty well in this transition!!! We only saw him for like less than 2 minutes and most of it was in a comedic light but it's very pleasant that duncan seems to be eager, participating, curious, with (what we see on the surface anyways) none of the trauma and emotional turmoil from his earlier appearances in the Schism
even his unserious little, "Can I be leader? 🥹" made me puff up in pride because NEVER let it be known that Duncan Grimwater never takes his shot and goes for it even when he looks dumb and silly and stupid. he has ALWAYS hit above and beyond and look at him now. he's chilling in the ARCANUM OF ALL PLACES, learning that he's now (relatively) safe. i am so glad that i got to see my favorite little loser in the newest update
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throesofincreasingwonder · 11 days ago
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Well. It took them a while but they finally took over the broadcast station
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topicaltropic · 6 months ago
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oops! all wips
#dndads#1st img is morgan . tried to solidify the type of person that would marry glenn & jodie and its like#manic pixie dream girl meets wife under bedsheets. fun loving carefree extremely irresponsible i imagine shes as much a bad mom as glenn is#a bad dad#close family dinner for each day of the week#i imagine its very depressing cool for kids sad for adult/college life meals#i had like a pmv/animatic of tmbg erase to nicks everything but ill never finish it sadge!#comic in the middle i was gonna do like a immediately after the final where willys defeated and schools out for summer norm and scary run#into eachother while theyre walking home#and scary would ask whats wrong and normal would be like#well knowing that the entire world ended because of me has been sort of weighing#on me yeah“ and then scary would go ”normal...do you wish that *was* the reason?“ which would lead normal getting dumbstuck cuz she hits#the nail on the hammer. and then hes incredibly defensive and hes like uh b buh NO !!! MAYBE !!! and scary would share her experience#but itd make normal more resentful cuz hed be like well it all worked out for you in the end with you and your dad and you mom who all love#you. and then scary would get irked and start to call him out but then now that the bottles been uncorked his resentment would start#spilling out.#“you burned my house down! i thought it was *my* family that had the connection with the doodler ! but why- when- ”#and normal would be so frustrated and he couldnt get his words out and hed refuse to look at scary while she looks at him w/ the hardest#look of conflicted sympathy and pain#and all she could say would be stop comparing yourself to me and shed mean that in the most compassionate way possible and norm would just#be like i know#and then the bus would come and scary would have to go but shed look back and then be like “am i still coming over saturday to play#and him busy crying would just give a thumbs up#god now that i write this out maybe i will draw it i have a little bit of time left why not#to me i think scarys someone normal would have the easiest time being mean to#one because of his latent misogyny and this like unconscious superciliousness he holds towards her yet shes the one receiving the#validation he sorely craves and knowing if theres anyone he could talk to and whos understand what hes going through its her so though he#isnt able to be emotionally vulnerable or engage in a deeper level but he does feel comfortable enough to lash out at her#last pic is if nick woke up post doodlerized and found himself on cassandras couch (where the teens placed him) and shes there to greet him
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tenwhiteandalusians · 22 days ago
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and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.
#do you see the vision here <- guy who has a watch rate of one episode per month#oh the implications of scorpus not being there for tenax in his time of need... the death of the child who is not but is symbolically their#is that a separate fic completely yes but it is ALSO in some ways a divorce fic. tenax like i needed you but scorpus also needing him#OH MY GOD THEY LITERALLY DO SAY FELIX WAS HIM and i can do SO much with the concept of a “stray”. oh please. please strays instead of rats#one knife to the ribs one fixed race one apartment board THAT'S A STORYLINE BABY RISE OR DIE THE ROMAN WAYYYYYY#i do see your calla/tenax storylines i do. i could be swayed but we are not here for that currently this is the same as the chariot racing#like i KNOW what i said about the gold faction representing everything that scares scorpus a dream he never thought they'd reach#and then to have it ripped away now he no longer even has the dream untarnished i do understand. which is why the “i'm disappointed”#kills me even MORE because it shows he gets it. like on some level he does understand why scorpus had to but it's his pride that's wounde#so to continue from what i WAS saying with:#sets the bar so low because how else would tenax love him (as if tenax would not do the same thing if he lost) and they have even MORE#questionable celebratory reward sex. yes i assigned scorpus a degradation/praise kink the world works in wondrous ways don't question it#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#tenax making sure to care for the kids is what's killing me too because i REALLY want to draw a parallel with scorpus making sure he takes#care of the prostitutes. yes he's a notorious hedonist yes he has a lot of sex but he always pays well doesn't he. over-well. he pays too#much and ends up in debt he pays enough to buy girls freedom. so that they only have to if they want to. it gets him a reputation sure AND#it gets whole houses of girls under his (and therefore tenax's) protection. you can't bruise her up; that's scorpus' favorite girl.#she can charge more for being favored. he can pay for massive parties where no one else is invited and if he falls asleep midway drunk#off his ass after a race the girls would never say. they still get paid. if tenax comes to watch and give instructions they'd never say.#if tenax tells them all to leave and it's just him and scorpus in the golden room and all the girls see before they shut the door#and latch it behind them is scorpus on his knees in the soft plush cushions with tenax offering him grapes one by one from his fingertips#like a favored concubine instead of the champion whose laurels are tilted on his head they won't say a word. not even when the noise#inside the room continues for long after the hour runs out the girls still stand watch until it's quiet and then crawl back in around where#scorpus is alone in the big wrecked bed with a smear of blood or wine on his mouth who could say. certainly they wouldn't.#no matter what they still get paid. whether they did the work to wreck him or not.#ANYWAY#they take care of the selves they couldn't protect is what i'm trying to say. for tenax it's the child he was/scorpus it's the body he sold#only he hasn't stopped having to sell it. & i guess as we're learning with the extortion tenax is still a child running from a burning hous
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eilarae · 14 days ago
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YIPPEE first ever art summary! :D it's been such a fun year, im really glad i decided to start drawing 12 months ago, even tho i knew I'd suck for a while :]]
yapping under the cut teehee
when i started drawing last december, my goal was to make enough art in 2024 to be able to make one of these babies (no matter how scuffed), so im truly delighted to post this :] even tho i can't put the months because i would be. Lying (the first 11 are from jan-july lmao)
it's neat to see the year's journey all laid out here tho :> it's always very validating to see real improvement. like srsly check out first digital art i made ever vs my latest. crazy things happening
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gonna probably post art goals for 2025 sometime later this week (to keep me accountable hehe) but can tell you right now one of em is gonna be experimenting with color palettes. cause like. wow. draw without blue and purple challenge impossible
anyway yippee doing what you love!! can't wait to keep making cool stuff that brings me happy chemical d=(^o^)=b keep creating, creators
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quietwingsinthesky · 10 months ago
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Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.
Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?
And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.
What do you think about it?
no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.
because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)
and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?
river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)
they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.
mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.
they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.
all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.
mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'
god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.
#like. to be clear also: i don't think the fact that amy didn't want kids and really didn't have a choice in giving birth to river#means that she wouldn't love river. i think it would make their relationship Complicated but i do think amy loves her. so much.#that's her daughter but it's also her best friend.#but like. god. to spend your whole childhood hoping you'll hear about some little glimmer of yourself.#a dream. a passing mention. a debate on baby names. anything. and to hear nothing.#and river is. like. she is really really bad at relationships right? we know this.#the person she's closest to is the doctor and she spends most of her life believing *he doesn't even love her*.#we're talking about someone whose base assumption about everyone is that they will try to hurt her at some point so she should always keep#one hand armed.#and her mother. didn't choose to have her. didn't have that choice. that has to fuck her up a little.#(and also serve as proof that river is. so so bad at knowing when she is loved. because maybe amy didn't choose to have her but she named#melody pond after mels her best friend. she has been choosing river every day for the past however many years since mels decided to come#here and be near her mom and dad even if only as kids. but river still can't see it.#and. given the nature of how the ponds disappear from her life. and we never get any closure about them and river.#you have to wonder if she ever did. river song do you know your mother loves you?#having the melody-as-river reveal be so close to the end of the season and then getting rid of amy & rory before they can actually do#anything with the three of them as a messed up little family unit is the show's biggest crime. because i don't know! i don't know if river#knew her parents loved her! i don't know if she *ever* came to terms with how she was born and how they didn't need to choose her then to#choose her now! i don't know if river ever really felt comfortable thinking of them as her parents rather than her friends?#according to the transcripts. river calls amy 'mother' twice. (and 'mummy' once jokingly.) she calls rory 'father' once. and 'dad' in angel#in manhattan. and it just. it drives insane right? it's almost weirdly formal. like the words aren't right but she knows she should say the#and. and. i don't think i'm ever going to get over river song.#i think that's the takeaway here.#ask#doctor who#river song#amy pond#rory williams
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your tags on parenting make me super emotional <3 that's exactly the kind of parent I want to be one day
Thanks! I feel the same way honestly. I have a lot of opinions about parenting and I can't say that I will be the perfect parent because that doesn't exist. I can't even say that my hypothetical future kid/kids will be perfect because children don't grow in a vacuum. I can only control what I do and say and try to be the best version of myself and hope for the best.
#i often hear people say that involved parenting is too difficult to be realistic or that modeling behavior is too hard#and yeah. yeah it is. it is one of the most difficult things a person can do. but who the fuck has a kid thinking it'll be easy?#kids are hard work and commitment. they should never be something done on a whim. you should never half ass raising a kid#and not to say that people should be perfect all the time or that people shouldn't have 'me' time#its just that i genuinely don't understand people who shove their kid into as many activities as possible to get away from them#or put all their hopes and dreams and expectations on them. if it's so easy and attainable to live up to your expectations as a parent#then do it first. you want your kid to have straight A's? great. show me your report card at that age#im just... kids are just people. and they just want to hang out with their parents and receive love and attention#and anyway ive lost my point im just very passionate about this topic#very passionate#when im older and financially stable I want to foster teenagers i think. i want to be there for them and model healthy adult behavior#and help them make that transition. i want to be that person for them. because everyone needs help and love and family#and honestly? my parents fostered kids my entire life. THEY MODELED THAT BEHAVIOR#i understand that family is not a given. i understand that family is above all else forged. and that applies to everyone#not just found family or fostering. if you don't know your bio child then can you really call yourself family?#family is *forged* regardless of the context. and if it isn't? if you skip that step with your bio kids? well thats a major fucking issue#anyway nothing but respect for my parents who bought groceries for my foster sister when she was out of care. FOR MONTHS#nothing but respect for my parents who took me with them to give my foster sister their old stroller when she needed it#nothing but respect for my parents who take in my old foster brother every weekend to 'babysit' because they know he isnt in a loving house#nothing but respect for my parents who adopted my siblings without a word when they asked#honestly they are why i am who i am today. i was a kid with adhd and learning disabilities who hated school#and now I'm an honors student and getting my doctorate. because they did the academia with me#and im not saying they did my schoolwork. im saying that they assigned books to read over the summer and we would read them as a family#and we would discuss the literary concepts and themes together as a family. i love dissecting media! and thats because of my parents!#it was a family activity! same goes for science and art and music#and coding and history ect ect#anyway im going off on a tangent but basically what im saying is that my parents didn't ship me off to camp every summer#we just did things as a family together. i remember the time and bonding with them. and i modeled that behavior#and not to brag but i think I turned out alright#anyway tangent over!
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the-everqueen · 2 years ago
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17 + 24 for violence ask game pwease :3 perhaps both sandyman and sucksession
17. there should be more of this type of fic/art para mansand: i want more Lucienne art in general. Viv's insta features some fucking cute fits that would be great fanart inspo. for fic...i'm going to continue preaching the gospel of Coco/Luce. i'm currently writing the Coco/Rose fic i wanted, because the people who write that pairing turned me onto it and i owe them my life.
para succshow: i have many many arts in my likes after the finale, pero if anyone has Roman Roy in that cage with a dog collar...that would be highkey relevant to my interests. idk if anyone is doing the cosmic horrors/waystar crossover but i do sometimes think about the kids' monstrosity being literal.
24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse already answered but just for you, shall answer again 😘
para mansand: "here's why h*b/dream are actually soulmates" inevitably leads to some incredibly misogynist (and occasionally biphobic) takes. i'm not sure why, in the year of our lord 2023, we continue to find "person you are inextricably bound to" as anything other than horrifying (and if someone has a horror fic based on that premise, lmk), but then again, i'm also not sure why the very normal stance "i like [this] ship" nearly always becomes an excuse to shit on fictional women. (that's a rhetorical statement, i know why.) the actors already gave us the lovely line "Dream is the cast bicycle" so i think people should run with that and diversify the ecosystem.
para succshow: i should say Shiv, because no one can be normal about the one woman, pero sometimes i do a great job curating my experiences on the margins of fandom, and i've actually seen some really good nuanced takes on the finale. so instead i'm going to say tom/greg discourse is, imho, Bad. these men don't secretly love each other. no one loves each other on this show. no one on this show knows what love is. that line "i'd castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat" is not fucking romantic, it's about ownership and dominance because that's the framework of all relations under capitalism. and that's the only framework the Roys have for anything.
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zombified-queer · 2 years ago
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I hope Ogtha guy and Ogtha live a long, happy life and never get divorced.
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