#captain cranky

[eruden-writes]

Initial Meeting - Part 1

Playing with these two in comic format again. idk if I'll continue this beyond what I have.

I'd like to, but I need to solidify their story first.

[More Stowaway and Captain Cranky Stuff] [Next]

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Been busy with school, so just have a bunch of this guy I've accumulated over the week

[cosmicwhoreo]

captain "I woke up like this" caviar

[ashuribbon]

The rest of the progress is Patreon-exclusive, but...

If you all wanna know, Pirate is a bishop in the AU. Bishop Pirate go wee C:

[purplespacekitty]

i fucking need this guy’s jacket

[padawansuggest]

Cody: *accepts a caff from a pissed looking Rex, cautiously sniffs it* t-thanks?

Rex: >:( I put something special in it.

Cody: Wouldn’t that be more effective if you didn’t tell me it was tainted? I can get more.

Rex: >:( I put it in all the caff. All of it. I wish you no good luck. *leaves*

Cody: *tearing up* I’m so proud of him, but he ruined my caff so I have to murder him, I’m so conflicted.

Anakin: *screaming in the distance as he realizes what the special surprise was in the caff*

Cody: *puts his mug down with resignation* Well. He can’t lie, so I guess I failed there. I’ll suffer in self hatred rather than whatever Skywalker is dealing with.

[eruden-writes]

How awkward would it be if spider aliens did mating dances?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[rochenn]

captain creed my sweet zebra-haired prince ilysm <33

[askrockandfriends]

"CEO Mario can shove it. We're not being separated from our friends simply because Nintendo wants to be hog all use of us!"

"She's right! Our use here never hurt anyone! ...Matter of fact, I get more use here than I've gotten in my own series in the past 20 years thanks to Team Rock."

"Do you know how many people Goh is gonna have to replace in the League of Evil Muses if this CEO Mario just bans our use here?"

"Evil Muses or not, I say snap out of it, whippersnapper, and let the kids have their fun! If I'm gone, who's gonna teach the kids about the good old days of Nintendo's IPs, huh?"

"Eh... this blog doesn't profit off our use? Pretty big missed opportunity, if I say so."

"You're not helping, Wario..."

[bones-and-whatnot]

Some Name-Related Mario Concepts/Headcanons

It should be noted that, like the majority of my headcanons, I don’t necessarily hold all of these to be true in my head always or all at the same time, they’re just ideas I’ve had.

The main recurring Toad that we see in the franchise is the Blue Toad, whose full name is Loyle Toad. (Loyle T.) He is a natural redhead, but prefers the color blue to red, and so wears a blue vest and sometimes dyes his spots to reflect that. He is generally only called Blue Toad when his cousin, Oniss T. (Yellow Toad) is around because they both are the kind of people who prefer to go by their last names and you have to differentiate them somehow.

Toadsworth’s full name is Dew Toadsworth (Dew T.)

Captain Toad’s first name is Gravi.

Wario and Waluigi are not their birth names. Their birth names are Waldemar Wicked and Giorgos Crygor. The man now known as Wario adopted that identity in a long-term effort to scam people who had only a passing familiarity with Mario into thinking HE was the big hero who deserved monetary rewards and could be hired for lucrative jobs like plumbing and medical aid. He later brought on Waluigi for added credibility.

Mario and Luigi’s middle names are Albano and Daniele, respectively.

“Donkey Kong” is the name of a vague spiritual thing that passes hereditarily through generations. It is less of its own full entity as much as a sort of presence that meshes with the pre-existing personality of whoever the current title-bearer is. So, while the modern Donkey Kong is separate from Cranky, a part of him is, in a sense, the same “character” as Mario’s original adversary. (As for how the timeline of Cranky and Modern DK being 1-2 generations apart while Mario is still the same works out, I dunno. It’s a magical world, time is weird.)

Morton Koopa Jr. is named in memory of Bowser’s older (or twin?) brother (the concept of Bowser having a brother is, in fact, not something I’m making up: https://www.mariowiki.com/Bowser%27s_Brother), Morton Koopa. When the two of them were very young (as in, prior to Yoshi’s Island), a magical mishap banished Morton the first to Subcon, where he was warped into a froglike form. He rechristened himself “Wart”, as a corruption of “Mort” (whether he intentionally changed his name or just couldn’t remember his real one, I’m not sure) and grew into adulthood there. Bowser has very little memory of this incident and is not aware that his brother is alive.

Bowser is also not self-aware enough to realize that his interest in doppelgängers and facsimiles of himself, particularly small/child-sized ones- e.g. the enemies enchanted to be Fake Bowsers from various games, Mechakoopas, the Koopa Kids from Mario Party (who I sometimes headcanon as being advanced robots in the shape of small Bowsers or clones of him), Bowser Jr. (who I sometimes headcanon as being a clone of his father, but only if the Koopa Kids are not already clones)- stems from guilt over the above.

Diddy Kong’s full first name is Jedidiah.

[ask-marios-apprentice]

Of Kong's and kremlins.

I think i I may have met two incredibly stupid entities today.

Cranky Kong and King K Rool.

I swear I think I might have also seen Nora today.

Let me start from the beginning.

After being warped onto the Congo bongo peninsula's Beach. I had to do a platforming challenge based on using honey in order to patch up a set of bridges.

Then I ended up getting captured by Captain Skurvy. CAPTAIN of the Kremlin Krew.

He was planning a heist to steal the Crystal Coconut.

Apparently it's been in his family since his ancestor got it from the god Inka Dinka doo

They would let me go if I would help them get into the secret banana stash where the coconut was being held.

Tomorrow would be the prime opportunity since defense would be at the wrestling match.

Truth be told. The whole Kong versus kremmling thing is less of a political dispute and more of a family rivalry between the Kong family (not Kong species) and the kremmling Royal family.

It's kind of gone to the point where they have chimps, kremlins, and apes on both sides.

It's kind of crappy. Like Hatfields and McCoys or Montague's and Capulets.

Really dumb ain't it.

So if they were going to let me go. I had to drop in and create a big distraction.

I found a large coconut tree with a treehouse inside of it. It was right on top of the arena.

I was hanging out there waiting for it to begin. When of all people showed up.

NORA!!!

I don't know how in the underwear she got here. I could probably guess on why she's here but not how she got here.

I tried to chase her. But she actually caught the feet of a Squawks.

I don't know where the Underwhere she is now but it's far away from the Congo Bongo Peninsula.

Now where was I.

I ended up causing a distraction by explaining to them that this entire feud is stupid. I can't really remember what I said I was just kind of angry about the whole situation. But everyone seem to be dazed or something.

I ended up just sort of walking out. No one really cared that a human just fell out of the sky and told them that a tradition sucks.

I met up with Captain Skurvy. It turns out that there was no Crystal Coconut as it was being taken to be polished for a museum exhibit in a few months. They ended up just sort of stealing a bunch of bananas. Something you can just get off the trees. You can like buy a bunch just for a gold coin.

Surprisingly there was also a warp orbital there. So I got that.

I don't think I'll be coming back to the island for a while.

I'm just kind of frustrated.

Garth signing off.

[l-alan-l]

Death obsessed autistic faggots are our only hope for a cultural renaissance

[eruden-writes]

Stop - Stowaway x Captain Cranky

Couldn't stop thinking of Stowaway being captured or maybe stuck in a deathly situation (like a reactor meltdown) and telling Captain to just leave. But he saves her, despite her demands he just go, and thus the above unfurls.

Stowaway was born and raised on spaceports, always revolving around a larger - "more important" - object but always kept at a distance.

Then there's Captain Cranky, who didn't even realize he cared until, like, that moment. Like, can't you hear the old dial-up sound playing through his head when she says "just... stop"?

(This scene is 100% my doing; nothing like this has happened in the RP, at this point. Just want to make sure I note that, while these two have been inspired by an RP, thus far all drawn shenanigans are from my own brain. )

[askrockandfriends]

"Guys... we just got a letter... from CEO Mario."

"This can't be good..."

"Shoot... here we go..."

"What does it say, then?"

Rock opened the letter and read it.

"To the fine folks at askrockandfriends,

I have warned you time and time again. Do not use any characters owned by Nintendo, Disney, Warner Bros., Shonen Jump, or Viacom, or you will face a hefty lawsuit. In spite of that, you still continue to ignore my warnings and defy me at every turn. As such, you have forced my hand in this scenario. On X day of this year, two thousand twenty four, you are hearby summoned to court for a hearing against I, CEO Mario, and Nintendo, Disney, Shonen Jump, and Viacom. I will also be suing on behalf of Warner Bros., who endured a vile attack and their fate has yet to be determined. I told you there would be a lawsuit for further use of characters owned by companies I represent, and now I will fulfill that promise. See you in court, Paisanos!

Sincerely,

CEO Mario"

"It's official, then. We're being sued."

"This is bullshit! We've never hurt anyone by being here!"

"No... this is our chance. Our chance to finally shut CEO Mario up for good! And I know someone who can help us!"

[bitchimasnake-sss]

Imagine telling op guys who has a crush on you, that you want to sleep with them. You just plop down next to them cuddle into them and fall asleep. It's just hem turning red and trying to calm down their thoughts

hehe, this is legit so cute. (tweaked the prompt to be a little more suggestive than just thoughts in the end.)

not a dream ft. the monster trio!

set-up: as anon asked! you happened to utter five simple words, "can i sleep with you?" to the op boys (who have a crush crush on you). now these idiots are contemplating if they'd make it out alive. warnings: includes nsfw thoughts!! no actual things happen but the guys are thinking very very perverted shit, so, if not comfortable please skip!!! m.list

luffy:

💗 you know luffy. do you think luffy— the guy who clings to everyone, doesn't know the word "personal" and "space", who will probably hug you even if you threatened to punch him— will really mind if you told him you wanted to sleep with him? fuck no. even if you stood in front of him with a "i like you, i wanna sleep with you" in a suggestive way, he would say something along the lines of "awh, i like you too. let's sleep."

💗 but well, this was different. cause he liked you. so when you decided to show up at his door after dinner with a cranky look, he was both confused and intrigued. "what's wrong with ya?" the captain mumbled as you sat next to him on the bed. "chopper and ussop. ugghhh." you groaned, "they're doing some stupid shit next door and making so much noise. there is no possible way i can sleep there. and im sure nobody else will let me crash with them tonight in their room." luffy would have probably leapt up and gone to join the other two fools had you not sprawled out next to him. you gave him a tired smile, "so, can i sleep with you?" 💗you hadn't even waited for an answer. mindlessly, you draped a hand over his torso and snuggled into his chest. he pulled you towards himself on instinct. this was normal. yeah. hugging a crewate. yeah. totally normal. atleast for him. then why was his heart beating so fast? mouth going dry? why was sweat clinging uncomfortably to his back although he knew the night air was frigid? 💗you shifted and your chest brushed against his. luffy swallowed wantonly as you shifted again. and then one more time. trying to find the most comfortable position, he guessed. mechanically, you pushed yourself further against him. and this motherfucker went as stiff as a washboard. "luffy?" you mumbled against his skin before tracing your eyes upward. from this position, your doe-eyes bore into his, "you don't mind right? it's just really cold, sorry." how could he mind? your soft body was against his. your fingers drummed faint melodies against his back and your hair smelled like some floral scented shampoo. every time you breathed out, the warm air caressed him and goosebumps painted his hands. he felt your peaked chest brush against his again and he almost swallowed his own tongue. "luffy?" you asked again, your voice saccharine. and he vaguely wondered how would the same voice sound if he tore open that flimsy top your were wearing and held your soft skin against his palm. or if he took the courage enough to dip his fingers below the waistband of your pajamas and felt you up. would you say his name like that? 💗 well, fuck. this was the captain had thought so much in his entire life. and they were thoughts about feeling up his crewmate's tits. and, as a result of such vigorous thinking, a problem had arose in his pants. he tried to think it away. tried thinking about sea-kings or hideous devil-fruit users. of alvida. or anyone else. he even tried to think of food so that his attention could be diverted. but even the most tastiest of sanji's pudding couldn't take away the throbbing in his cock. and the delicious feeling of your soft skin next to his. as a last resort, he prayed that you wouldn't shift more and feel his dick against you. he prayed you would take his silence as rejection and simply drift off to sleep. but ofcourse, this is a godless land. because you moved again. and when you felt his hard-on against your thigh, you looked up at him. lips caught between your teeth, blinking up at him almost innocently, you asked, "got a problem, captain?" before he could answer, you pressed forward, "i think i can fix it." on the other side of the ship nami burst into chopper and ussop's room. when she yelled, it probably could be heard over the entire ship, "LET US SLEEP, YOU MORONS. WE HAVE A LONG DAY TOMORROW. GO SLEEP OR I'LL FINE YOU BOTH A MILLION BERRIES PER MINUTE THAT YOU'RE UP." you're not sure if it was chopper or ussop crying in the distance. but oh well, you have a captain to please 🤭

zoro:

💚zoro's not even fucking sure how he ended up like this. he's sure it involved some higher-than-tolerable level of alcohol for both the parties involved. and he's sure it must have been your idea that he had drunkenly complied with. "let's sleep together" "okay" what was he thinking? because right now, you were sprawled against his chest. both of you were on his bed. his shirt was off, yours was barely on. a bit of drool peaked out from the corner of your lips. and he found himself quietly rubbing it away with the pad of his thumb, smiling softly to himself. ew?! was he still drunk?? as the realization set in, he pulled his hands back in wicked horror and looked around as if someone had seen him. it was still night, and in the middle of the night, the effects of the cheap booze must have wore off of him and he awoke to you as his bed. 💚"hey." he tried to shake you awake but you just groaned, sinking further into him. he hissed when you buried your face against his bare skin. he whisper-shouted, ignoring the goosebumps on both of your skins, "wake up. go back to your own room, woman." but you didn't shift an inch. instead, you stayed buried against him. he groaned but when his eyes fell back to your face, he couldn't help but fight off the impending blush that crawled up his face. your hair was a mess and your cheek was squished against his chest. you breathed softly and sometimes, your fingers twitched against his skin and you touched him fleetingly. and you were warm. too warm for his liking. he tried to look away but his hand carefully came up to your face. staying there not a moment too long, he dragged it downwards. over your shoulders and over your back. he stopped before he went too far and grabbed your ass, the curve so delicious in his eyes. but he stopped, pulling his hands back to lay on the linen sheets. he was a horny man, not an evil douche. 💚but you must have been hell-bent in proving flaws in his moral-code, because you shifted and your pelvis shifted over his. he bit back a grunt at the movement over the fabric. you were so cozy against him. the way you brushed up against him, the way your hair tickled him. would you like it if he pulled your hair? would you moan? god, what would you sound if you moaned out his name? he was a bad man. thinking all of those things. and he tried to focus on anything but the blood-rush to his dick, really, but the way you started moving against him, almost mechanically. god. that made all attempts to ignore his boner disappear. his hips moved upwards and he closed his eyes, giving into the friction of you against him. soft moans fell from his lips, hips still moving upwards to graze your clothed thighs. 💚"zoro?" you mumbled sleepily, rubbing your eye. you strained your neck up and he looked down at you, dazed. "you okay, zo?" when he found himself unable to talk and you found a harsh roll of hips under you, you connected the dots. a playful smile tugged on your lips, "need some help?" "no." the swordsman swallowed thickly. "fine." you shrugged, clamoring off him. your hips swayed as you made a futile attempt to find your discarded shorts somewhere in the room. you gave him a lingering look, "i should go back to my room. the crew will freak out if they find us like this." "no." he caught your wrist, tugging you towards him, "stay. i could use some help." 💚in the morning, sanji walked into the swordman's room to see if the moron could find you somewhere since you were nowhere to be found on the ship. what he found, instead, was you and the mosshead tangled in his sheets. when you and zoro had finally made it to the breakfast table, sanji may/may not have been crying. luffy, ussop and chopper were laughing in the background. nami decided it was a good enough reason to even high-five zoro. it was an awkward breakfast.

sanji:

💙sanji was probably in heaven. yes, that's the only explanation. sure, the ship was en route to alabasta but he was on his way to heaven. because there's no way you had come seeking him out in the middle of the night. you had said, "i can't sleep." "oh?" the cook had wordlessly stepped aside and you took on the opportunity to slip in. he shut the door behind you, "can i help you then, love? want me to cook something?" "i would have really not bothered you but i don't know who else to ask. nami and vivi are sleeping together and the bed's not big for the three of us." you rambled, "and zoro probably showered five months ago. and luffy, ussop and chopper are passed out in the common room. so... can i sleep with you?" it's a miracle he didn't pass out on hearing those words. it's an even bigger miracle that that was three hours ago and he had still not passed out. now, sanji lay next to you— as stiff as a corpse— while you snored. your body shifted and your hands reached out towards sanji. your palm ran up and down his torso as to check if he was there. and once you had gotten a confirmation, you scooted in his direction and sanji held his breath as if one wayward puff of air will wake you up. 💙vinsmoke sanji was trying. he was trying o maintain his composure, to not pull you into his chest. he was trying not to think about the way your chest will feel against his, the way his fingers will glide over your thighs, the way your hand will fit around his dic— and it was as if you could hear his wretched thoughts. because your hands moved over his torso. gliding up and down. you leaned into his touch, molding your body against his. you might have been having an interesting dream cause he saw your hips gently rocking, your thighs pressed harder and you eyes clenched shut. you buried your head into his chest and the smell of your shampoo seemed to turn him on more. he ignored his weeping dick, decided to pay it no mind. but all of that resolve crumbled when he heard you moan his name into the fabric across his chest. your nails dug into his shoulders and your nose buried as deeply as it could against his skin. 💙 he gently guided his fingers to your thighs. and you shook under his soft touches. his thumb softly brushed over your clothed pussy and bucked towards his hand. he could probably just feel you up and you'd let him— "—shit." sanji quickly brought his hand back, realizing that you were sleeping and out of it. even if your lips chanted his name, he couldn't do the things his mind was convincing him to do. because if he started, he wouldn't stop. 💙so, to get himself rid of such sinful thoughts, he decided to hide in the shower and pump at his hard cock till he was tired. till you crawled out of his head. till your voice stopped ringing in his ears, making his cock impossibly harder. he slowly pushed you away, trying to climb off the bed. but as soon as you felt his warmth disappear, you cracked open an eye, "sanji?" "uh" his face went red, eyes averting, "just going to the washroom. i'd be back." you sat up, "did i go too far?" sanji's mouth hung agape as you pulled him back into bed, "i thought you wanted me to moan your name like that—" "—wh-what?" "i had a dream." you innocently traced your index nail down his torso and brushed it over his sleeping shorts, "think you can help me?" you blinked up at him, "pretty please." 💙 the next morning, the cook of the crew made the worst breakfast possible. wasn't his fault. all he could think about was you and your breathless moans and your eyes as— "this tastes like shit." the swordman argued. "thEN MAKE IT YOURSELF, FREELOADER." "might as well if you're gonna cook so bad." "—i think it tastes fine." nami sighed, "if i knew you getting some would make you a terrible cook, i would have let (yn) sleep with me and vivi." and the entire ship choked on their (terrible) breakfast.

a/n: i tweaked the prompt a bit (as i was getting stuck with the original ask), but i hope this was good enough anon!! as always, thanks for reading and send in req that you might have <3 (tagging: @bokutosbiceps cause i know you love luffy) m.list

[archivistofnerddom]

Old Man Rex is a whole-ass mood.

The man figures out his problem immediately and disposes of said problem in the most appropriate manner possible. Also, the tone of him just flinging the helmet and nailing the stormtrooper in the head(!) with said helmet — perfection!

I love Old Man Rex so much.