#cant really argue with that either. so im looking forward to seeing how well this works!

[emathevampire]

i went to bed after having a wee bit of a psychotic episode (wanted to complain about garlic, was not feeling solutions-oriented about it, least of all medical solutions-oriented, so perhaps i yelled at my friends a little more than was rational) and in the fading delirium, i was gifted… another dream recipe

this time the prophecy was for Frozen Burrito Meal Prep.

given the successes of all my former prophetic dream recipes, the only logical solution was to get ingredients immediately.

While I am still piecing together the clues from what I remember of my dream, making my own refried beans from scratch will be the key component (to be made with bacon drippings, shallots, and black beans… canned this time, but i may try going all the way from scratch next time). Planned seasonings for the ground beef include paprika and chili powder, a little cayenne maybe. Green bell peppers, onions, and a little tomato for the veg (might add mushrooms another time). Cheddar, of course, is a must… but I also saw “quesadilla cheese” and was too curious to pass it up (i hope it melts real good). A little basmati rice (because it’s my favourite). Some plain flour tortillas to wrap it all up. Wrap in foil, then put in a freezer bag, and chuck em in the toaster oven at 350° F for an hour while the rice cooker makes more to serve it with. This is my design.

I will report back with the results once I know how well this actually works.

Mostly, I’ve planned it this way because it was foretold in my dream, but it was probably foretold that way because I REALLY like the Amy’s vegetarian frozen burritos, and they’re fantastic for a quick and easy meal if you toss ‘em in the toaster oven while your rice cooks, but they all have garlic in them so unfortunately i absolutely have to stop eating them. I highly recommend those if you have no such issues, however. They even have gluten-free and dairy-free ones.

[ooglywooglies]

FINE, LILY ORCHARD DUNGEON MESHI RESPONSE POST I GUESS

im just going through all the video points and making oppositions to them based on what i think, thats it.

laios useless in the red dragon fight: this is setting up the premise of the story where laios is spacing out because he cannot strategize on an empty stomach which is why the party loses.

there is no urgency to rescuing falin after everyone escapes the dungeon: thats to show that all the adventurers are so used to the dungeons immortality that theyve forgotten about the consequences of death (and also they are not thinking straight bc they are hungry)

dungeon meshi is not slice of life in the traditional low stakes way a slice of life set in the real world might be. the entire premise is about making a fantasy dungeon crawler and its heroes more grounded and showing things that aren't shown in video games, eating, sleeping, bathing, etc. a major theme is life and death, what is needed to sustain life and how death is a necessary part of it.

the tone of the show is not meant to be serious/silly/serious/silly, its not supposed to be wholesome, fun, and heartfelt, though it can be those things, its supposed to be weird and demystifying because its about real life (though a fantasy lense) and real life doesnt adhere to tone either.

resurrecting falin, having a bath and dinner, and then thistle coming to collect her happening in two episodes is not crazy thats almost an hour of runtime

MISGENDERING THISTLE

some of the problems with this video are just the anime format which i cant completely fault, i think the manga is better paced and the humor lands better ill probably ignore those points going forward. but i feel like if you dont watch anime very much you probably dont really know them the common genre tropes, like i certainly dont.

the reason marcille is "infinitely more popular than the rest" is a) lilys girl bias b) everyones girl bias and thats it, a lot of people like decently written generically good looking female characters. but thats not even true laios is probably equally as popular as marcille is and senshi is VERY close behind both of them.

laios is literally only generic in looks and if youre going to bring it up you might as well mention how marcille is therefore EXACTLY as generic as laios is, they are some very regular white people. in terms of looks.

laios only cares about monsters and is an asshole: this is an intentional mischaracterization the OTHER CHARACTERS IN THE STORY make about laios, which is a result of his real flaw which is struggling to connect with other people. this is a character flaw, which is intentional and something laios himself is aware of and tries to overcome, it is part of his character arc. laios is also heavily autistic coded, im not sure if ryoko kui is even aware of it or if she herself is autistic and just wrote a bit of her own struggles into laios's character but this reading is widely recognized by people who are autistic so. like its hard to argue with a mass of people who see their disability in a character. (me included)

comparing his deadpan affect to lloyd (i dont know him tbh)s intentional controlled one makes no sense bc i assume lloyd is yknow a super secret agent who IS a super secret agent because of his self control or whatever. laios is just a guy. literally just a dude, who is autistic.

marcille and laios react to falins resurrection differently because they are different characters, showing different ranges of emotion are part of their characterization. having a limited range of expressed emotion in serious situations where emotion is expected of you is also a commonly recognized autistic trait (see me not crying at the airport when my now husband had to go back to his side of the planet when we were dating)

falin is also autistic coded and shares a lot of traits with laios because its supposed to be funny that everyone thinks falin is so talented and brilliant and lovely when she yknow picks up a bug or something but they think its annoying when laios presents the same traits.

refer to point 10 again

they are literally moving through the dungeon as fast as they can. it gets brought up, laios feels guilty about it but hes not indulging in his special interest as opposed to rescuing his sister, the adventure is enabling it. whats he supposed to do brood the entire way? do you think anyone would be physically capable of doing that? see points 1-4 again if not.

just because a different character would do something different doesnt meant the story would be better, the point of THIS story is an exploration of THESE characters

this is retreading a point but "marcille is the only character who feels like a human being" .... girl the ableism - it can be argued that marcille is a bit ND herself but she is laios's neurotypical foil, the entire point of their dynamic is she is the normal person to compare him to, to act like shes the only character that matters because shes the only one thats normal has some nasty implications.

"you or i would-" thats making some assumptions

marcille is tormented the most by the show because the show is about exploring a dungeon, a major character trait of hers is her inexperience, shes squeamish shes young and naive because she has EXCLUSIVELY studied dungeons in books she has only seen the dungeon in person for like a year or two (i dont remember the time frame but we know how time works for marcille anyway). senshi by contrast has been surviving exclusively off the dungeons resources for like 60 years. you mention that marcille grows a lot by the end but its not just about eating food she learns survival skills, she learns ecology.

sorry i need to take a break to just rant, isnt this woman a writer? i feel like all she can only see characters through common media tropes and so dungeon meshi is just breaking her brain because all of these characters are written from a strong foundation they all have roots that inform all of their flaws. i feel like she isnt willing to see them that way because she assumes that because this is an anime the author didnt put any thought into the characters beyond their designs and gimmicks, thats just speculation obvs its just the impression im getting

but like i see the way people talk about kui on here how she feels like one of us because the dungeon meshi characters are her ocs. how theyre not just characters for a story. its like imagine someone talking this way about YOUR OCS, your babies, the characters you put your heart and soul into and especially for someone like kui who has created so much depth for her characters for someone [who also calls herself a writer] to brush it all off bc it got an anime adaptation and anime has tropes.

i really dont like people who approach media from "ive seen this before" and i mean im a little guilty of it but its kind of a useless thought isnt it, for the most part things get made because someone wanted to make it not because it needed to exist. i guess its a hard thing not to think when theres just SO MANY shows and stuff out there but idk, i dont think its a healthy perspective most of the time.

chilchucks a bitch you cant listen to what he says and be like "the narrative is bullying marcille" chilchuck is bullying marcille, chilchuck is a bully

(oh it seems the numbers have reset, oops)

shes talking about why anime sucks again, i havent seen spy x family and i dont care to it doesnt appeal to me

retreading points but i forgot which ones laios thinking falins dragon form is cool is another example of how laios's character essence is that he doesnt think like other people. and i have to imagine that if not for the mind control aspect falin wouldnt be horrified by her dragon form either. neither of them care about the "obvious" socially expected reaction of "horrified" theyre thinking about a) what they like to think about which tends to be ooh monsters are cool and then b) whatever is most practical at this moment - i think its not just lily that struggles with this i think its a lot of people who follow social scripts tend to follow what the main cast of dungeon meshi is thinking so theyre horrified/confused by whatever laios is doing but he just intuits what actually materially matters and what doesnt. him thinking falin getting to have a cool dragon form has NOTHING to do with his feelings about saving her.

"your experience with autism isnt universal" neither is yours???? isnt that kind of the thing about autism (this is from her comments not the video but thats kind of her point about this point in the video is that she doesnt relate to laios's autistic traits) - guys shes saying sheldon cooper gets called out on his shit and grows as a person but laios doesnt... guys i dont even know what i can specifically say to make someone stop believing that because i dont know why anyone could believe that in the first place.

i dont want to write this point bc i dont want anyone to think i dont have any concept of like pervasive preferential trends in media but i think she specifically hates laios because hes a white man with autistic traits. i think if laios was a woman those traits would be not as bad (which is kinda funny bc i was talking about that being a joke with falins autistic traits earlier)

laios is funny to me :) (in the manga mostly)

i think she shouldve read the manga instead of watching half the anime but i guess thats it. if you (anyone reading this) see this out in the wild please dont make assumptions about me based on this post, it doesnt really tell you anything about me or my wider opinions.

i guess you can assume im autistic i did say that part, go ahead and assume that i suppose.

i think i have some clarifications i was gonna make but i got tired so i cant remember where they go or what they are, this isnt really meant to be a discussion its just me writing down some thoughts indirectly bc i didnt want to comment on her video. but its in response to a video so its only fair i guess if anyone wants me to clarify i can try my best to do that

[pesterloglog]

Karkat Vantas, Jade Harley

Act 5, page 3250-3253

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --

CG: ATTENTION HARLEY.

CG: PLEASE STOP WEEPING WITH AND OR BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR SELF PROTOTYPED LUSUSPRITE

CG: STOP DOING ONE OF THOSE THINGS AT LEAST

CG: LONG ENOUGH TO ANSWER ME.

CG: PLEASE.

CG: PRETTY POLITE EARTH PLEASE.

CG: WHO AM I KIDDING

CG: I'M WASTING MY TIME AGAIN

GG: karkat!!!!!

CG: WHOA FUCK

CG: YOU ANSWERED ME, I DONT BELIEVE IT

GG: yes

GG: im going crazy here

GG: i never thought id say this, but im actually almost relieved to talk to you

CG: WHAT

CG: YOU ARE

GG: or really ANYBODY besides that lunatic

GG: SHE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!!!

CG: OH YEAH?

CG: HOW SO, EVERYTHING HERE APPEARS TO BE PROCEEDING RATIONALLY.

CG: WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM

GG: are you joking??? look at this mess!

CG: MESS? JADE, NOW IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE *YOU'RE* THE ONE WHO'S JOKING.

CG: YOUR HIVE BALL ROLLED DOWN A BEAUTIFUL WINTER HILL, AND YOU ARE SPENDING SOME QUALITY TIME WITH FAMILY.

CG: YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO FILL ME IN ON THE NATURE OF THE PROBLEM.

GG: okay...

GG: i made the mistake of prototyping my dream self who has been dead for years

GG: and shes completely crazy and theres no talking any sense into her

CG: HMM.

GG: hmm?

CG: YES. "HMM."

GG: hmm what

CG: HMM AS IN HMM INTERESTING.

CG: AS IN HMM HOW VERY, VERY FUCKING INTERESTING INDEED.

GG: :\

GG: what are you getting at???

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT AM I GETTING AT.

CG: I'M GETTING AT WHATEVER HMM INTERESTING GETS AT.

CG: PLEASE GO ON, I'M LISTENING TO YOUR PROBLEM.

GG: well...

GG: i mean, i understand why she is upset

GG: but she is completely inconsolable, and wont listen to reason about anything!

GG: and i guess i could deal with that but...

GG: the frustrating thing is that shes actually me :(

GG: i really dont think i would act like that

CG: HMMMMM.

GG: will you stop saying hmm!!!!!!

CG: OK, FINE.

CG: WHAT OTHER SEQUENCE OF LETTERS WOULD YOU HAVE ME USE TO REGISTER MY PROFOUND FASCINATION.

GG: fascination?

GG: what do you find so fascinating?

CG: I'M JUST TRYING TO UNDERSTAND.

CG: I AM BEING SENSITIVE ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF A RAGING FUCKASS, ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANT.

CG: YES, IT IS, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST ASK FUTURE YOU, ASSUMING THAT CONVERSATION DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY AS WELL.

CG: NOW TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.

GG: my feelings?

CG: YES, HOW DID THIS MAKE YOU FEEL.

GG: well...

GG: at first i was sad

GG: because she made me remember all the sad things that just happened

GG: but im trying to be strong about all that so we can keep moving forward

GG: and if i can then why cant she?

GG: but she just went on and on

GG: and i started getting angry...

GG: ugh i have never been so angry in my LIFE!!!

CG: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

GG: I SAID STOP SAYING FUCKING HMM

CG: o:B

GG: what does THAT mean?????

GG: is that supposed to be someone with a halo and goofy teeth?

GG: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?

CG: NO, NO

CG: YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT BACKWARDS

CG: THOSE ARE MY HORNS

GG: oh

GG: haha oops

CG: OK SO IF I'M UNDERSTANDING YOU

CG: YOU'RE ANGRY AT A VERSION OF YOURSELF FROM A DIFFERENT POINT IN TIME

CG: BECAUSE SHE'S BEING AN OVERLY EMOTIONAL SHITHEAD WHO IS BASICALLY THE MOST REVOLTING SELF LOATHING PIECE OF FILTH YOU HAVE EVER MET

CG: AM I FOLLOWING

GG: yeah, pretty much

CG: I'M NOT GOING TO SAY HMM AGAIN

CG: BUT COME ON

CG: DON'T YOU FIND THE SITUATION TO BE JUST THE SLIGHTEST BIT INTERESTING?

CG: I MEAN, CONSIDERING

GG: considering what??

CG: IF I RECALL, IT WASN'T THAT LONG AGO FROM EITHER OF OUR PERSPECTIVES THAT YOU WERE RIPPING ON ME AND MY SMUG WINDBAG FUTURE SELF FOR ARGUING WITH EACH OTHER

GG: oh come on...

GG: this is NOTHING like that!

CG: HOW IS THIS NOT LIKE THAT

GG: because she's...

GG: well

GG: she's ACTUALLY INSANE

CG: OH I SEE, AND ALL THOSE IDIOT PAST AND FUTURE KARKATS WEREN'T???

GG: but

GG: those are you

GG: im not her!

CG: OH AREN'T YOU

CG: YOU JUST SAID YOU WERE, I JUST HEARD YOU SAY THAT

CG: SO TELL ME

CG: HOW IS THIS EVEN THE SLIGHTEST FUCKING BIT DIFFERENT?

GG: i dont know

GG: it just...

CG: YES, GO ON

CG: I'M REALLY CURIOUS

CG: HOW

GG: ...

GG: oh my god

GG: youre right :(

GG: so then i guess

GG: im a hypocrite :(

CG: NOT REALLY

CG: IT JUST MEANS YOU'RE A SANE RATIONAL PERSON, AND THERE JUST MIGHT BE HOPE FOR YOU YET

GG: wait...

GG: so me arguing with my dead dream self

GG: and smacking her around while screaming at her

GG: makes me SANE???

CG: YES, ABSOLUTELY.

CG: IT MEANS ALL OF YOUR HIDEOUS FLAWS DISGUST YOU.

CG: YOU ARE RIGHT TO BE DISGUSTED, IT'S MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE CAN SAY FOR THEMSELVES.

CG: REALLY, CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER.

GG: hahaha, wow

GG: you are so weird

CG: CONGRATULATIONS, IN ADDITION TO, JUST MAYBE, AN APOLOGY.

CG: DON'T YOU THINK?

GG: you want me to apologize?!

GG: for what, calling you crazy for arguing with yourself???

CG: WOULD IT REALLY KILL YOU TO CONSIDER IT?

GG: after taking so much crap from you for all those years?

GG: no forget it, im not apologizing that is BULLSHIT

CG: DEAD DREAM DOG JADE, IS THAT YOU??? YOU'RE SOUNDING A BIT HYSTERICAL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALM DOWN.

GG: shut uuuup!!!

CG: WELL IF YOU CAN MANAGE TO GET YOUR ANEURYSM UNDER CONTROL

CG: MAYBE YOU WILL REALIZE I DIDN'T ACTUALLY SPECIFY TO WHOM AN APOLOGY WAS IN ORDER.

CG: IDIOT.

GG: what

GG: are you saying you want to apologize

CG: I GUESS

CG: THIS APOLOGY WAS GOING TO GO DOWN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, SO THIS MIGHT AS WELL BE THE TIME.

CG: AND LET'S FACE IT, I WAS REALLY BEING THE WORST KIND OF PHLEGM BUBBLE BLOWN OUT A NOISY GLISTENING ASS.

CG: SO I'M SORRY.

CG: BUT TO BE FAIR, IT WAS MY PAST SELF WHO WAS GIVING YOU SUCH A HARD TIME, AND HE'S COMPLETELY DERANGED.

GG: ok, i appreciate the THOUGHT of an apology, but i dont know if it really counts if you are just going to pawn off responsibility on your "past self" again!

GG: maybe your "present self" should own up to it!

CG: YEAH THAT'S WHAT HE'S DOING.

CG: HE, BEING ME, RIGHT NOW, IS OWNING UP TO WHAT A FUCKING RETARD PAST ME WAS, AND CONTINUES TO BE.

GG: laaaaame

CG: YES, I KNOW IT'S LAME.

CG: OR I KNOW THAT YOU THINK IT'S LAME WHEN I SAY SHIT LIKE THAT.

CG: BECAUSE REMEMBER

CG: I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO YOU FROM THE FUTURE, AND I KNOW YOU DON'T COTTON TO MY PCG/FCG STUPIDITY.

CG: BUT SEE, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT YET.

CG: OR MORE SPECIFICALLY, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT YET.

CG: SO I'M KIND OF PULLING A FAST ONE HERE.

GG: hahahaha, that is so ridiculous

GG: why dont you stop it with all this nonsense and own up to being terrible unequivocally?

CG: YEAH I'M GOING TO.

CG: THE THING IS, I KIND OF MISREPRESENTED MYSELF.

CG: I'M NOT AS MUCH OF A SCUMBAG AS I WAS SO DETERMINED TO MAKE OUT WITH MYSELF TO BE.

CG: FUCK I MEAN

CG: MAKE MYSELF OUT TO BE

GG: :o

CG: I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY I TROLLED YOU LIKE THAT SO PERSISTENTLY

CG: FOR SOME REASON DEEP DOWN I JUST KNEW THAT I HAD TO

CG: EVEN IF IT MEANT DIGGING MYSELF INTO A HUGE HOLE WITH YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT WOULD BE HARD TO CLIMB OUT OF

CG: AND LIKE PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING I SAID WAS COMPLETELY BASELESS BECAUSE I DIDN'T ACTUALLY KNOW YOU

CG: JUST LIKE YOU DIDN'T AND STILL DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW ME

CG: SO I GUESS I AM APOLOGIZING FOR IT, LIKE REALLY SERIOUSLY NOW.

CG: I, PRESENT KARKAT, IN THE CURRENT MOMENT, APOLOGIZE ON BEHALF OF MY STUPID PAST SELF, *WHO IS ACTUALLY ME*.

CG: THE GUY TALKING RIGHT NOW.

CG: LIKE, THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THOSE GUYS, OK?

GG: hmmmm...

CG: HMMMM???????

GG: yes, hm

CG: HM WHAT

GG: ok karkat, that sounds pretty sincere to me

GG: and youre right, i dont actually know you

GG: i just know the part of you who acted like a bully

GG: i understand there can be more to a person than just the stuff they say when theyre angry

GG: so i will accept your apology and give you another chance

CG: OK, GREAT.

GG: and i will apologize for calling you crazy

GG: obviously i am not in much position to judge :|

CG: NO BUT

CG: YOU WERE RIGHT, I AM CRAZY

CG: BUT THANKS ANYWAY

GG: so you say you have been talking to me from the future?

CG: YEAH

CG: MAKING PLANS AND WHATNOT

CG: TO PRY OURSELVES MUTUALLY OUT OF THIS MASSIVE MOBIUS DOUBLE CLUSTERFUCK.

GG: ok, so what is the plan?

GG: i mean, why did you want me to contact you at this moment so badly?

CG: OK WELL THE MOST IMMEDIATE POINT OF BUSINESS IS

CG: YOU SEE THAT GLOWING BLUE SCREEN BEHIND YOU?

GG: yes

CG: YOU NEED TO TURN THAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT OFF.

GG: ok, i can do that

GG: but why, what does it do?

GG: its been here my whole life and i could never figure it out

CG: I'M NOT GOING TO SAY MUCH ABOUT IT.

CG: BUT SUFFICE TO SAY THERE ARE JUST SOME THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO SCREW WITH.

CG: THERE ARE OUTCOMES THAT ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THE COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF EXISTENCE ITSELF

CG: FORCES MORE DAMAGING TO THE INTEGRITY OF REALITY THAN THOSE CAPABLE OF TURNING IMAGINATION INTO PURE VOID

CG: THEY ARE FORCES WHICH IF HANDLED RECKLESSLY WILL NULLIFY THE BASIC ABILITY OF INTELLIGENT BEINGS IN ALL REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO GIVE A SHIT.

GG: i dont think im following...

CG: YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW

CG: ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TURN THE THING OFF

CG: AND THEN DO THE NEXT THING I WAS TOLD TO TELL YOU TO DO.

GG: you were told?

GG: by who?

CG: BY YOU.

GG: oh...

GG: future me?

CG: YES.

CG: YOU COULD BE TELLING YOURSELF THIS RIGHT NOW, BUT WE'RE SORT OF WORKING ON A STRICT NO MEMO POLICY.

CG: WHICH IS YOUR IDEA OF COURSE.

CG: DID I MENTION HOW YOU DON'T LIKE IT WHEN WE ARGUE WITH OUR PAST/FUTURE SELVES? YES, PRETTY SURE I DID.

CG: SO I'M GOING ALONG WITH THE POLICY AS BEST I CAN.

CG: I AM BEING PLEASANT AND AGREEABLE, AND I WILL GENTLY LOWER A MAGNIFICENT, CORUSCATING COLUMN OF HOT FUCK YOU DOWN THE PROTEIN CHUTE OF ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.

GG: uh... ok

GG: well it sounds like a pretty good policy to me!

CG: YOU DON'T SAY.

CG: SO ANYWAY, BECAUSE OF THAT, MY ROLE AT THE MOMENT IS TO ACT AS A SORT OF GO BETWEEN FOR YOU AND YOUR FUTURE SELF

CG: TO HELP ALONG THE PROCESS OF MAKING THESE PLANS

CG: WHILE YOUR FUTURE SELF IS DELIBERATELY VAGUE ABOUT SOME STUFF SO AS NOT TO "JINX" THE CONCEPTION OF THE IDEAS IN THE FIRST PLACE I GUESS?

CG: ALL WHILE YOUR CURRENT SELF IS NECESSARILY KIND OF DUMB ABOUT EVERYTHING.

GG: hey!!!

CG: SORRY, OK, JUST KIND OF IGNORANT

CG: BECAUSE STUFF HASN'T HAPPENED YET

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

CG: IT'S NOT ALL THAT STRAIGHTFORWARD FOR ME EITHER, BUT I'M USED TO THIS SORT OF IDIOCY BY NOW.

CG: IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN THE MORONIC REVERSE CONVERSATION WITH EGBERT I TRAPPED MYSELF INTO.

CG: MEANWHILE TIME IS KIND OF RUNNING OUT HERE, WHERE I AM

CG: WE'RE COUNTING DOWN TO SOMETHING

CG: SOMETHING LOOMING ON THE TROLLIAN TIMELINE AND NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT IS

CG: AND MY TEAM IS KIND OF FALLING APART

CG: I'M COMPLETELY LOSING TRACK OF EVERYONE AND WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

CG: SO AT THIS POINT I'M JUST GOING ALONG WITH WHATEVER THERE IS TO GO ALONG WITH.

CG: AND THAT IS YOU AND YOUR CRAZY FUTURE PLANS.

CG: AND THE SCRATCH.

GG: oh yeah! dave told me about that.

GG: what is it?

CG: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!

CG: AT ONE POINT I THOUGHT I DID, I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST WHATEVER SENT JACK HERE.

CG: BUT CLEARLY IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.

CG: ARADIA KNEW BUT SHE DIDN'T SAY, AND THEN SHE WENT AND GODDAMN EXPLODED.

CG: YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME EITHER, BECAUSE I'M NOT "SUPPOSED TO KNOW" YET.

CG: WHATEVER, I DON'T EVEN CARE, LET'S JUST DO IT.

GG: ok then...

GG: what was the thing i told you to tell me to do?

GG: right now, i mean

CG: OK, DON'T ASK ME WHY, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW THAT EITHER.

CG: BUT THAT BLUE SCREEN THERE

CG: FIRST, LIKE I SAID, SHUT IT OFF

GG: ok

GG: then what

CG: THEN YOU NEED TO DRAW IT.

GG: draw it?

CG: YES

GG: and then?

CG: THEN NOTHING

CG: THAT'S IT.

[thekingofwinterblog]

It’s all for his sake - Endeavor and the Sunk Cost Fallacy

My hero academia 301 is a pretty interesting chapter, but for me, the most notable piece of it was how Endeavour reacted to the realization that Touya couldnt surpass All Might.

upon realizing that his son might not be able to do it because of inborn physical limitations, he immediatly stopped his training, which frankly was the responsible and adult thing to do. 

This stint of real parenthood did not last long however.

After taking the matter to a doctor, he is flat out told that not only cant Touya achive what endeavor wants, but it is a direct result of his incredibly selfish and irresponsible attempt to play god, by trying to breed the “perfect” hero into being.

It is how you react when you lose however, that shows who you really are, and endeavor illustrates that very, very well.

Upon being told in no uncertain terms that his attempts at Breeding an heir failed magnificently, producing a child that was not capable of resisting his own immense power, but also admonished by his doctor for even attempting it, and adviced not to try again, Endeavor instead doubled down, while focusing on the child he screwed over from the start with his attempt at genetic manipulation.

It was all for him you see. Endeavor doesnt use those words, but that is how he spins it here. it was all for Touya, all for his sake. if i stop now, then Touya was all for nothing, a mistake, im doing this for my son.

if im doing this for my son, then im not responsible for any of this.

his wife however, calls him out on it, as she understands Touya much, much more than endeavor does. or rather, she sees him fully as a human being, instead of as a thing, a weapon, a failed attempt at an heir.

Unlike Endeavor, Rei is able to see the way this all is affecting her son. She is able to see, and understand that Touya has fully accepted what Endeavor wanted him to be. a stronger, and better version of himself. however, unlike Endeavor, she only cares about him as a person.

Endeavour by comparison isnt completely uncaring about Touya. like most abusive parents, he does possess love for his offspring, but it is forever tainted by the fact that however much he might care, or not care about Touya, any familial love he has for his son is tainted by the fact that to Endeavor, he is a failed experiment, a failed heir, not his child. 

He is the golden child that Endeavor was building up as his true and only heir, who he breed, trained, and molded to for that single purpose, and now that he’s reached a point where he cant continue that legacy.

so, its time to abandon him, and start over new, despite literarily having just learned how stupid this plan was, and that it can, in fact, go completely wrong, with a quirk that will fuck over the person he brings into the world.

Of course, Endeavor doesnt use those words to frame it. there is no way to pretend to be a hero, if you phrase it like that after all. Intead, this is the words he uses.

this is a very important series of panels for a great number of reasons, some that can be debated, argued, and we will probably never know the full truth to the questions because this is a series published in 2020′s shonen jump, and there are things that probably wasnt gonna fly with Hori’s editors, if it was the case.

but lets start with what can not be debated. Endeavor’s words here.

“If we want him to give it up, then we have no choice... Touya... Cant surpass him.”

These are very telling words, and however you believe The third and fourth children of the Todoroki family was concieved, there is not denying the meaning of what he’s saying here.

The only way that my son will stop being an idiot and fall into line, is if we have another baby. that is the only Right way to move forward. it is morally right, because if we dont do this, then he’s going to destroy himself.

there are two ways to interpret this scene.

The charitable way is to read it as the fact that he used Rei’s oldest son’s mental state as a justification of guilting his wife to have a third child, to give this attempt at a superpowered breeding project another shot, despite the fact that they now know that this can lead to a child who is essentially born crippled from his own powers, and despite the fact that Rei obviously understands the effect of them continuing this insanity will have on their oldest son.

the uncharitable way to look at it, is that he used this as justification for flat out raping her, and forcing a third, and then later a fourth child on her.

I personally believe the last one, given a number of factors shown in this chapter(the way this page is framed, the fact Rei obviously didnt want a third child, given she predicted exactly how touya would react, the way her eyes would latet turn when she looks at who is presumably touya which really brings to mind how she would later react to her youngest son’s face after her mental breakdown, etc.), but i’ll frankly admitt that withouth a direct quote from Hori, its impossible to know for sure one way or another. 

either way however, this is a very good example of Endeavor both being influenced by, and using Sunk Cost Fallacy to justify bringing another potentially crippled child into the world for his own, selfish goals.

sunk cost Fallacy, is a mental reaction to when you invest more time and resources into a project, that you becomes so emotionally invested into said project that you will continue to invest into it, even if it reaches a point that it becomes clear that the resources you put into it, far, far outweighs the potential gains you can achieve.

because if you give up after having invested years, and years of effort to breed, raise, and train a kid, and then all that effort was absolutely wasted. hence he choose to keep going, despite having learned what a terrible idea this is.

He doesnt care about the fact that his next child might be even more crippled than his firstborn, he doesnt care about his son’s actual wellbeing. he cares about the fact that if he doesnt continue this insanity, then not only will he not achieve his dreams, but everything he did to get to this point was for absolutely nothing.

and endeavor cannot accept that. and so long as he can justify breeding more children into the world, and there being any chance they might inherit both quirks perfectly, he doesnt care about anything else.

and the moment he realised that this kid wasnt gonna cut it either, he did it again. it is not a coincidence, that the age gap between Endeavor’s second, third, and fourth children were all 3-4 years apart. because thats the age where you can usually tell when a quirk will manifest or not, as established earlier in the series.

While she isnt brought up directly by Endeavor as a justification, it is very telling that Endeavor decided on having a third child, only after his second child was old enough that he could tell that that there was no chance she could take the place as his heir instead.

So, he had his third child, and as time passed and it became obvious that he wasn’t gonna be able to fulfill Endeavor’s goals either, he dumped him, and instead breed a fourth child into existence.

and finally, he struck gold. he did it. he produced Shoto.

everything was finally worth it, and now, everything would be absolutely fine. the cost fallacy had reached its end, and it was now all full sails ahead.

except of course it wasnt.

His oldest son, now in middle school, had been raised from birth to believe he would surpass his father, only to be thrown away, and getting to see his father try to replace him, not once, but twice.

frankly, this scene is probably my favorite in the chapter, because it goes to show Endeavor’s mindset. Natsuo made a point that their father completely ignored his older children. and he did... from Natsuo’s perspective. however, having a more thourough picture of things, we can clearly see that this wasnt the case with Touya.

Endeavor genuinly cared for Touya, enough that once he got that child he tried to breed into existence 4 times, he genuinly wanted him to just abandon trying to be a hero. he genuinly thinks of himself as a good dad here, wanting his son to abandon the mission he set out for him before he was born. of course, with context, this heartwarming scene is incredibly sad and insidious, because we understand why Endeavor got so attached to his oldest child. because he WAS the golden child. he was the child Endeavor genuinly cared about, and invested in, and trained personally with great warmth and enthusiasm.

And not only did he abandon him as a failed project the moment he realized he wasnt gonna live up to his ridiculous standards, but he literarily created 2 more kids to try and replace him, just as his oldest son was old enough to understand what exactly his dad was doing. over the course of this chapter, we get to see Touya’s start as a 5-8 year old, his deteriorating mental state over the years, until he finally seemed to reach the breaking point with Shoto’s birth sometime in his middle school years 12-15. 

Endeavor is in this scene, just not capable of understanding why Touya so desperately wants to become a hero, when obviously he isnt physically able to do so. he isnt able to understand that he is 100% to blame for the fact that his son is having a full emotional breakdown after literaly being replaced by his siblings. 

In other words, Endeavor genuinly think’s he’s a good person. a person who has made a few mistakes along the way sure, but a person who was always justified in the end, and now that he’s having to face the fact that as dabi would later say “The past never dies” and has to face the aftermath of his inane attempt to play god for the pettiest of reasons, things simply arent going to work out.

He isnt going to have a happy family, who can now put the awful early years behind them, he put way too much effort, caused too much suffering and sacrificed too many years of his life for this not to work out as he wants.

after all, if he walks away from this project now, and lets Shoto have a normal childhood, and decide for himself, with no pressure from him, wheter or not to become a hero, then the sunk cost fallacy will have reached a negative end. it will all have been for nothing.

and we know he did eventually double down on this mentality, literarily beating into Shoto that he WAS going to become a hero, and there was not but’s or no’s about it.

there was no way that Endeavor was EVER going to let things be for nothing. His treatment of his older children could not be for nothing. His treatment of his wife could not be for nothing. His treatment of Shoto, and the way he beat him black and blue to train him, could not be for nothing.

Because if it all was for nothing, if everything he feels guilty about was for absolutely nothing, then he was in fact, a bad, bad person, who had no justification for anything he ever did.

[animeangel21]

Part 2 is ready for my sukuna fic

Here you go sluts :)

——————————————————————————-

"T-t-thank you ma-master" I stuttered with a shaky bottom lip.I would definitely have a handprint there tomorrow with the force he was putting on me.

"You need manners"

With him still buried deep in me his palm connected with my ass again and my hips pushed back forcing him deeper into me.

"You like that too huh?"

His hand continued to swat on me with no remorse but one hit in particular had lurched my body forward and I cried loudly cussing with drool falling out my mouth.

"God you're ass is raw, and this sweet little cunt is creaming all over me"

"N-no more" my voice barely above a whisper

He pushed himself back out of me and grabbed my hips and pulled me back on his cock harshly causing my ass to rub against his hips.

My moans were muffled again as his hand found my neck and pushed me further into the pillow. His dick twitched in me and I clenched as his pace somehow picked up.

I screamed a line of cuss words as his cum shot into me and he pounded me harder and I came all over him again.I tried to crawl away, get away, anything to help myself from the over whelming pleasure taking over my body. But his nails dug into my hip on my right side pulling me further back and his left hand was in my hair pulling my head back so my back met his chest.

My legs were on the verge of giving out on me and my arms wouldve struggled to hold up my own body weight if it wasn't for his hand and my hair.

"Just look how I'm bulging in your stomach. Fuckk, you wanted this and now you got it." He groaned pushing my head down and as he did so I could feel and smell the blood in my nose trickle down my face and down my neck.

"Is it that hot to you or is that your body saying you've had enough. Either way I'm not done with you. I've got 1000 years of pent up frustration and a tight needy cunt right here." He dropped my body into the pillows and there was a burning sensation on my hip causing me to try and move away but his grip tightened. " a bond you can't get rid of."

Sukuna had branded me with a RS on my hip.

In a heartbeat I was flipped and he sat on the edge of the bed with me in his lap and my neck in his hand

And his arm was securely wrapped around my waist.

My eyes were slowly shutting due to my body being exhausted. He drug his tongue from my neck to my mouth lapping up all the blood and slapped my face twice on the same cheek to wake me up immediately making my eyes wide.

"Enjoy being on top when you've got the chance because the minute you're down you need to be completely submissive"

" and if you dare to fall asleep or slow down with me I'll shove this dick in your ass raw" he whispered and licked the shell of my ear.

"Now ride" he said looking down at me licking his lips and flashing his white teeth at me. He smacked my ass hard as I sunk down and gripped the flesh hard and left bleeding scratch marks in his path as well.

—skippy—-

Once he came undone and I did as well my body physically couldn't handle it and I passed out.

  but he just let out a deep sigh and set a little mental note to punish the brat next time he would see her.

He was decent enough to snap his fingers and wipe her down with a wet rag and dress her in her oversized shirt with some shitty anime on it and some cute panties.

Hm.. maybe the brat would get some action if he liked to same shitty anime .  Sukuna thought to himself

He snapped his fingers and dressed itadori  and laid him in the bed and pulled the girl to lay next to him burying his face into her breast, and hand on her ass. He positioned her legs to wrap around his hips along with her arms before swapping out as itadori was unconscious this entire time.

Basically got the brats dick wet for him.

And with that he sat back and just replayed the nights events with a smirk on his face.

To further make things interesting he got rid of the marks that were branded into the girls neck and collarbone only leaving the branded letters and marks from the spanking on her ass.

———————————-hehe skip to morning————

  Yuji was the first to wake up or so he thought. His dick was awake before he was and he wasn't exactly sure where he was but this was an every other day thing and he would handle it if there wasn't something weighing his body down.

He woke up enough to look down at the half naked girl next to him who looked a bit rough probably from yesterday's training since he couldn't even remember getting to her house yesterday. His face was no longer between her breast but his mouth was against her throat and he could feel each breath she took. With a small tired moan her legs pulled him closer and her arms tightened around his neck before loosening up and a small gasp fell from her lips.

"I-itadori I'm I- I'm really sorry" she apologize with a flustered face and the boy smiled into her neck but as she pulled away he pulled her closer causing her blush to brighten.

" no need princess I'm comfortable here if you are. I-is this okay" he said with a faint blush

"I - Uh Jeez this is embarrassing um.." she couldn't talk or think properly with the boy looking up at her like a goddess.

I didn't have the balls or energy to tell him that his hand was on my very sore ass and I wouldn't mind him massaging some ointment on it and my bruised thighs.

He adjusted our positions and finally realized where his hand had been and his little shocked face was cute. I hid my face in his chest and he looked down examining the bruises, hickeys, bites, and scratched that littered my thighs noticing it was bad it wanted to ask about something but the embarrassment on his face said it all.

"Can I help you?" He said playing with the hem of my shirt.

"Y-yeah, uh there's creams and stuff inside the bathroom." I said and removed my legs from the boys body.

He sat up showing no shame in his erection as he stretched and mumbled about how sore his lower body was along.I laid in my bed and reminisced about last night and grabbed my phone and opened the camera only to see that there were no bite marks, hickeys,scratches, or puncture wounds.

Yuji took a while in the bathroom and when he came back out I was laying on my side and furrows my eyebrows at the look on his face. Oh damn

"If you're wondering he said he fixed you up mostly last night." Itadori said with a bit of an upset face and he looked at me with shame and guilt

I  dismissed everything I was feeling and how sore my body was I shot up onto my knees on my bed and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug.

"You're not angry? I thought you would be pissed especially with me of all people for letting it happen."  He mumbled sadly.

"Yuji you can't control him.. of all people him. Look, he's been inside my head for..god knows how long but, I know how you feel and if I could repeat some of last nights events with itadori yuji I would" I said and kissed him passionately to which he returned immediately.

"Let me fix you up before you get hurt again."  He said pulling away.

" he could never do what I did HELLO IM A DEMON" the mouth that manifested on yujis cheek spoke and I smacked it but not hard enough to hurt yuji.

"Fuck off, it was my body." Yuji argued and leaned into my ear before whispering.

"He's had a lil spot for you, always mumbling about how he would fuck you n blah blah blah" and I laughed lying on my stomach so yuji could apply the cream for my thighs and ass.

"Um who told you to spread my business brat" his deep voice boomed.

"Fuck, did you have to go so hard on her." He said after flipping my shirt up to my hips.

"Brats need proper punishment."

"I like the idea of spanking too but there's  hand prints here, and scratch marks"  yuji said  applying the cool cream to my very much still burning skin.

" ya know I'm still here right like right under you" I said and yuji mumbled an apology.

"I'm never sorry" he mumbled

He doesn't know about our little deal, our little bond, and if he finds out I'll kill you myself princess.  Don't make me do that.

Okay, I won't you have my word.

Good girl.

I couldn't help but feel a bit of guilt knowing I'll have to lie to him about what happened yesterday night but sukuna probably told him everything he had to know and not what he shouldn't know.

The feeling of soft but large hands massaging my thighs and butt really took a toll and really turned me on.

More from my thighs as they were always a bit sensitive for me whenever someone touched them.

"Y-yuji I think I'm okay" I said softly and I heard a chuckle.

"Someone's horny" a deep voice rumbled and I flipped myself and it was yuji again.

"YOU CANT DO THAT TO HER ASSHOLE SHES GONNA WHOOP ME CAUSE OF YOU" yuji said and I placed my hand in his cheek.

"I would never I may have my issues but I won't even accidentally hurt the wrong person."

He fell onto my bed and pulled me next to him and relaxed his body and held me close.

"Was he serious?" He chuckled softly and my face started burning

"Yes.. he was but you've had a boner since you woke up but I kept my mouth shut."

"HEY this happens every morning I can't exactly control it" he said blushing as well and it was my turn to laugh.

I couldn't help but think about death and what's go come in my future, I had a while before death would

Come my way but, I was gonna live my life to the fullest. Or so I though.

———guess what, another time skip————————

Months later...

How many curses flooded this place? I don't know.

Me and another student came here on a mission to take care of a special grade while megumi was fighting some special grade.

Back up was on the way but I hadn't seen itadori in weeks because of a 'special mission' he accompanied nanami on.

Me and another grade 1 sorcerer were dealing with some curses on our own and my body was wearing down from the amount of energy I was using.

"WATCH YOUR BACK" I screamed and before my attack could do anything he was done for his blood spattered all over the old walls of the underground building/ bunker we were in.

"No more fucking around." I placed my fingers together.

"Domain expansion: grave expansion " I said and I could feel my energy flow and every single curse was ripped apart into several pieces and the only sound was their screeching.

"Ah you've perfected your domain expansion? It's about time little girl" a voice said behind me and I turned slowly and I was met with  with the piercing green eyes of Toji fushiguro.

" what the hell do you want? Cant you see I'm busy" I said and he got close.

"Hm.. a message..tell gojo I'll be back for him, you have a special grade to take care of missy" and he vanished in thin air right infront of me and I blinked several times to assure I'm not losing my marbles before running towards megumi and the special grade curse. I was weaker than I was before and I couldn't even see straight for a minute but I had to keep going if I was gonna see megumi again.

"MEGUMI WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?" I screamed praying for the best.

" you're too weak you need to get out of here" his voice rumbled from behind me blood covered his face and I rolled my eyes.

"I'll be fine, back up is on the way we can both make it out of here, I- I can stun the special grade quickly and we Can make a run for it." I said and my nose dropped blood and he looked at me questionably before nodding his head.

I looked around and spotted the special grade and I took a deep breath.

"Fun times we're gonna have." I said  and my hands radiated purple flames and  a black dragon appeared from behind me and as I moved my arms forward she targeted the special grade and I grabbed megumis hand making a run for it.

" how are you feeling" he said and I shrugged.

" I'm doing just fine let's just get out the back up should be here in less than 5 minutes" I said and as hard as I focused I couldn't help but feel weaker by the seconds passing and the minute we stepped outside I froze in my spot.

A pain in my chest caused me to fall to my knees and onto my back.

This can't happen to me now

I summoned back my black dragon and the pain subsided even though she was injured whatever he did had been bad and transferred from her to me.

"Hold tight." He said and just as he said that the ground shook and the special grade was on ground level with us and standing over us as megumi carried my body. The curse kicked megumi sending him into a near by wall.

The curse picked up my frail body and held me up and smiled at me wickedly.

He turned towards the gates with my body and there stood gojo  and an unfamiliar figure.

"Oh young mya I never told you. This is all cause of me." I heard tojis voice and gojo was already ready with his signature smirk.

"Ah we meet again, I'm gonna need my student released from this curse and we can settle this one on one" he said and Toji looked me in the eyes grabbing my face" and let your strongest walk out of here alive? HAH" and with a flick of his hand the special grades hand shifted and impaled me to a tree  straight through my stomach and into the trunk the object was thin but it still hurt like a bitch

"SON OF A FUCKING BITCH" I screamed with anger crying almost immediately and before I was impaled again by the second arm I looked up at the curse  and it's body was split into pieces and nanami was behind it and itadori was looking at me with a shocked expression and tears on his face.

"I'll Help her call for help." Nanami said and before gojo got a hit on toji he vanished once again and ran over to me.

"I'm so sorry mya" 

"Pfft don't worry about it I'll be.. I'll be fine" I said and I smiled as nanami wrapped my stomach and itadori ran up to me and held my head in his lap.

"I hate this... please.. don't leave me" he mumbled with trembling lips.

"I'll always be with you no matter what.." I said fading in and out of consciousness.

"I'm sorry, I should've been there to help you." Megumi said with his head down and I lifted my hand to grab his hair and pull him close.

"You're a lot stronger than anyone here so don't worry about me. You handled that like a badass" I said and released him but his hand held my wrist and gojo had his head down.

" you are the best teacher ever." And I looked at nanami " my favorite mentor, you're more than capable of dealing with my knucklehead" I said and blood poured out the side of my mouth.

" I'll always be here for all of y-"

I was cut off with a kiss.

"Please, don't die on me!" Yuji screamed  my tears slipped and I could feel my body giving up little by little as I took my last breath and shut my eyes.

" I love you all" I mumbled and I faded into darkness 

Sorry princess it's time.

———————-innate domain——————-

Sukuna knew exactly what would happen if the girl didn't make it and he truly didn't care. But he would manipulate her and convince her to stay if he had to the easy way or the hard way.

He knew that at any given time anyone who entered his domain was gonna see the girl and that’s what he wanted. He wanted everyone to know that he owned her everything now.

—————

I awoke almost immediately with a gasp and sukunas fingers left my forehead and he picked me up bridal style and out of my hatred for being picked up I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He sat down on the large mattress with an unreadable look on his face and looked at the ground below him.  I was seated in his lap confused and upset.

" 'M sorry, I couldn't save you. something wouldn't let me. Princess, don't think I didn't try to save you.. I did but something wasn't letting me through and it was too late.." he said with his chin on the palm of his hand. I was shocked that the great king of curses was apologetic for once and I just had a straight face.

"Great king of curses are you dying?" I said feeling his forehead causing him to glare at me.

"Cause you just apologized to me." I smiled and held his face with my hand.

" it was gonna happen.. plus I was too weak I used my domain expansion and several other techniques that I shouldn't use all at once so, I did it to myself." I said playing with my hands noticing his white kimono with black edging and the black shoes he wore.

"You're here now, and it's not too bad until I have business to handle." He grabbed my jaw and turned my face to meet his and pushed his tongue into my mouth for a heated kiss.

He pulled away and picked me up dropping me on the bed.

"You need rest" he smirked down and pulled away untying his kimono showing off his godly body and sliding in the bed as well.

"I know I know you don't sleep in pants." He rolled his eyes and with a snap Of his fingers I was in a large shirt and underwear.

He laid next to me and buried his  face in between my breast and wrapped his arms around my waist allowing one of his hands to rest on my ass and give it a rough squeeze.

No matter how many timeswe get intimate since that first day we fucked I’d forever be nervous with him. Every movement of his made me slightly nervous but I felt so little under him it was slowly become normal.

I ran my fingers through his hair and as my eyes shut my actions stopped and he let out a throaty growl which was stupidly attractive and I moved my hands again to mess with his hair.

I traced over his hairline and kissed it gently.

I hummed and let the exhaustion take over from today's events allowing my leg to rest over his waist.

Once you were asleep sukuna could hear urge change in your heartbeat.

He knew exactly what he did and the reactions he had on your body he easily could manipulate you into falling for him and he knew he had to put in little to no effort with such a Naive little girl in his bed.

[fandomfixationstation]

Warning: mention of death of a loved one.

Todays concept is MC gets a call that like their parental figure has died one way or another and this upsets them greatly because one, they aren’t there to help with anything two, the only people there to do anything are their siblings three, they considered said parent a angel or a blessing by god (optional/bonus points if said parents name means angel-)  They don’t say anything at first though they seem rather angry and now one can figure out why. then they hide and have a mental breakdown to cry in hopefully but unlikely peace.  now I shall write the response headcanons / scenarios or whatever I will do Update: well I didn’t write a scenario / short story bit for all of them because i ran out of energy to do so and then i never went back to it, though if anyone begs or askes nicely I could in theory maybe work something out. this was something self indulgent and was something i wrote to really get me out of a bad headspace.  Lucifer

He is the first one to realize something is wrong, especially if they aren’t a very angry person. 

probably doesn’t get to ask about what is going on because he is forced to deal with something else and rather quickly

though when people start inquiring where they went after lunch, finding it unlikely that they would randomly choose to skip class or something he makes his goal to find them.

Probably doesn’t take him long to find them after he starts looking. gets it in the first three guesses of where they are hiding.

“why are you hiding here with Cerberus?” Lucifer said with a bit of amusement. he figured he would find them here with his dog. just not curled up and cuddling. 

“wouldn’t you like to know” was all they uttered out, having no real energy to argue, or fight. though it was clear they had been crying their eyes out. 

“well something is clearly upsetting you, why not talk about it. nobody else is here to listen in” Lucifer offers to lend an ear to listen to their problems. he was also hoping that by doing so he could get to the root of the problem and deal with it. expecting that he was going to have to knock one of his brothers into line again. 

“I just received some bad news. that’s all. also, I’ll be otherwise located Friday, so like, don’t worry if I’m not around on Friday, I will be back like Saturday, so there is that” They explain, clearly not wanting to get into the details of the so called bad news.  

“otherwise located?” Lucifer inquired as to what the hell they meant by that. 

“yeah, um, I will be visiting - visiting the human world for the day.” visiting might not be the word they were looking for but it was the word they went with nonetheless. 

“your visiting the human world?” Lucifer was surprised to say the least. especially considering he wasn’t hearing about this till now. 

“yeah, i was talking to Diavolo not long ago to make sure it was alright” with a sigh the were back to melting into the side of the dog. 

“normally you are excited to visit the human world, what happened” lucifer wanted to get to the root of the misery they were feeling and he wasn’t gonna sweep this under the rug.

“for fuck sakes, you really aren’t gonna leave me alone till I say it huh? my parent fucking died. are you fucking happy, lucifer? Jesus Christ.” doing everything in their power to hold back a second wave of tears as they add on “my blessing of a parent died. can we drop the topic now?” they said clearly not wanting to hear anything come out of lucifer's mouth as they hardly give him the chance to speak. 

“ah, I see, my condolences” Lucifer was trying to figure out what to say at the same time he was trying to figure out how to cheer them up or at least make them more comfortable. “do you want some Kleenex? how about some water?” lucifer inquired simply.

“water would be nice.” they let out a sigh. 

“im sure your parent was a lovely person. I think it is safe to assume that they’ll end up somewhere where they are safe and happy” Lucifer states simply as he holds a hand out to them to help them to their feet.

“I have no doubts about it. so you don’t need to tell me twice. it just. . . hurts” They says rather quietly. Accepting lucifer’s hand and pulling themself to their feet. 

”go take a seat in my office, no one will bother you in there. I’ll join you soon enough with your glass of water.”  Mammon

This man probably thinks he did something wrong, spends half the day trying to figure out what he did

if its not that he is trying to figure out who pissed them off and who he should be yelling at.

he hates to admit it but he doesn’t like seeing them angry or upset. 

is probably gonna be first to realize that they slipped of to somewhere and start trying to find them right away. 

after checking a few other areas, Mammon finally considers they might have just gone home to hide. knocking on their door and slowly opening it mammon calls out into the room “Oi, human are you in here?”. 

“Go away Mammon” they were heard but very muffled as they had encased themselves in several blankets, clearly sounding like they were crying. unless they choose to eat gravel or something. 

“what’s got you so bumbed out?” Mammon said fully entering the room now know that they were in the room and completely ignoring their request to go away. 

“I said go away, I don’t want to talk about it” They said pulling the pillow to their head in hopes to block out more of the world. so that they didn’t have to look up and face the fact they were a hot mess. so mammon didn’t have to see them like this.

“no! the great mammon isn’t leaving till you say what's bothering you! that way I can fix it for you!” Mammon declared boldly. goofy grin on his face hoping that his optimism would help cheer them up. 

“you can’t fix this. you cant bring back the dead. well unless you use necromancy, but. that's never worked out” They had let out a dry laugh for saying all of this. but now they were holding back tears trying to not cry their heart out for a second time.

“oh human...” Mammon was at a loss of words, though to be fair he didn’t get the time to form a full sentence. 

“I’ll never get them back. they were practically an angel” they sniffled, trying to not sob. “my parent died mammon. what the fuck am I going to do?” they didn’t really expect an answer from mammon. 

“Listen here, the great mammon will deal with all the technical talk, and will make sure you can go to the human world long enough for you to do what you need to. but till then and maybe after, I’ll be here for you.” mammon explained simply. 

after letting out a chocked sob they reached out a hand and grabbed onto mammon's arm. “thank you” they sobbed out. mammon just sat there and patted the blanket pile gently trying to give as much comfort as he could. 

“do you want a hug?”

“please-”

Leviathan

since he hides away and does online classes (Correct me if im wrong) he might not even realize something is going on

unless he messages them and doesn’t get a response. 

will ask if the others have seen them and like will try to figure out where they were last seen.

eventually puzzles together that something is wrong and he should look for them

Satan

He although wrathful himself, isn’t able to see through the anger and might be a little annoyed about them for being so.

though he does understand that there is probably a reason for them being upset. he’ll do his best to figure out what caused them to act this way.

he’s stubborn and straight forward, he’ll probably be direct and ask what is wrong and wont leave till he gets an answer.

or he might occasionally bring it up and keep getting updates with how their doing kind of thing.

doesn’t really have to seek for them when they hide away because he watched them slip away and got worried and followed them

Asmodeus 

he is very quick to realize something more is going on, something more than meets the eye. 

probably doesn’t directly do anything at first other than same some sugar coated words in hopes it cheers them up.

when that doesn’t work, he gets very worried and tries to convince them to do somethings to ‘take your mind off of things’ 

knows exactly where to look to find them. first try!

Beelzebub

one of two ways, he either doesn’t notice anything for the first little bit, or he has a strange feeling nagging him that something is wrong and he tries to figure out what.

once its clear that they’ve disappeared he is quick to start looking, might take a while to find them because he is gonna check everywhere to find them.

bear hugs no questions asked, will try to comfort to the best of his abilities. 

will ask them what they want to do after a while to see what he can do to make them feel better

Belphegor

tbh honest probably knows something is up right away. 

with either avoid it entirely or bluntly ask what is wrong

if he doesn’t get a direct answer or is shooed away he doesn’t have the energy to push for the truth, might be a bit annoyed.

once he hears that they have gone missing it probably wont take him long to find them. 

will sit down next to them and be like ‘now will you tell me what is wrong?’

Solomon

since he doesn’t have the same amount of time with them he may not notice at first. or he does notice ASAP because holy shit what happened why are they so mad.

might try to inquire what is wrong and like use his natural charm to try to cheer them up. 

when he hears they are lost or missing ect. he uses magic to find them as quickly as possible. 

will do a bunch of considerably silly and goofy things trying to get them to smile or laugh before trying to get them to talk about whats bothering them

Simeon 

doesn’t take him long to figure out something is wrong, just one look and he knows

but other wise, he’ll simply ask if you want to talk about it. when bluntly rejected he’ll leave them alone

they go missing during the day? maybe it was worse than he first realized, he’ll go looking for them.

will find them within the hour, maybe a half hour if he’s lucky. 

mans will try to comfort them any way he can.

_____________________________________________________________ sorry, for not doing Diavolo, luke and barbatos, i just didn’t really have the time to do them nor could i figure out how to do ones for them so like aihogdsifh sorry. but i do hope you enjoy this post nonetheless. 

[that-one-weeb-but-starwars]

Seeing Maul after All This Time

"Maul?" Y/n asked looking at the hooded figure, Ezra besides him as he looked back at Y/n.

"Y/n you know him?" Ezra asked.

"Ezra come here." Ezra did as told, Y/n stepping infront of him protectively.

"Y/n. It has been some time." Maul spoke walking around with the cane.

Y/n ignited one of her two sabers, the red blade crackling as she kept Ezra behind her.

"Your a sith lord Y/n?!" Ezra shouted.

"No! Ezra- we'll talk about this later."

"A shame really," Maul spoke, "We were once-"

"We were once," Y/n told him, "We are no longer, I tried to help you! I wanted you back Maul! You think I wanted you to throw yourself away?"

"You threw me away!" He argued.

"I would never and you know that! We could have left! Both of us!" Y/n defended, "both of us! Like we planned!"

Maul only growled at her pushing forward as the battle began, light flashing back and forth as they fought one another. Maul still trying to reach for Ezra but was kicked back, Y/n igniting her second saber which was green in color.

"Ezra! Run!" Y/n demanded force pushing him back and out of Mauls reach once again, as Ezra got up.

"I'll get Ashoka! And Kanan!"

"Just run!" Y/n demanded, Y/n being back up into a wall as she kneeded Maul in the gut him stumbling back as she spit into the corner of the room.

"I can do this all day." Y/n spoke.

"You can't hope to beat me! Not again!" He shouted.

"I do not hope but know! I will win!" Y/n responded.

Maul kicked her across the room as she crashed into the stone wall dropping one of her Sabers.

Dodging his hit it scored the wall as she rolled off to the side, she grabbed his wrist twisting it back as the saber turned off and soon fell out his hand.

"Stop this Maul!" Y/n demanded, pushing him back into the stone wall, her hand up as she kept him pushed into the wall with the force.

"I loved you once!" Y/n argued, "We were one! Why would you betray me!"

"I betray you!?" Maul spoke, "I never did!"

"You killed my friends Maul! You just attacked me!" Y/n argued, "you killed the only think I had to a sister. You killed Satine! Why!"

He was silent, "I asked you why!" She demanded, "You knew she was all I had. You knew I loved her! But you couldn't just submit could you! You had to have power! Broken power! When you could have just come to me I would have helped you!"

Y/n glared at him as she gritted her teeth dropping him to the ground falling to his knees and over.

"I once loved you." Y/n told him, as he looked up at her, "after all you did I still came looking for you, and you were going to use a innocent soul. I stop worrying about you, and stop loving to you today Maul."

She turned away from him using the force to make her second saber come to her, walking away and down the hall.

"No..." Maul called, "No! Y/n! Y/n! Come back! I was foolish! Come back to me!"

Y/n kept quiet as she left the temple the others running to her aid.

"Y/n!" Ezra spoke looking at her hopefully.

"I am okay Young one." Y/n responded, feeling a sense of relief rush over Ezra.

She smiled softly at his relief, a hand holding his cheek.

"None of us belong here anymore." Y/n spoke.

It was silent the rest of the way, Y/n knew what Maul knew, what he wanted he got, Ezra confused that much to her. She wasnt angery but knew it'd be Maul's demise. So there Y/n sat, in the bunk with Ezra.

"Are. Are you alright?" Ezra asked.

"I haven't been alright in some times Ezra." Y/n responded sitting on the floor attempting to meditate.

"Can. I ask you some questions?" Ezra asked.

"Sit with me then."

Ezra did as told, sitting infront of her as she opened her eyes, she was tired, heart broken, missing.

"I...did...we're you a sith."

"No." Y/n responded.

"Then the red saber."

"It was a gift." Y/n told him, "I was considering to be a sith...long ago."

"Because of Maul?"

Y/n nodded softly, "It was long ago, I-"

Ezra listened, "Me and him were in love, we pulled each other towards both sides...I..."

"But why him?"

"It is easier to show you than tell. Come." Y/n spoke as Ezra scooted closer, Y/n placing her hands on each side of his head, covering his temples as Y/n closed her eyes, Ezra following:

"Commander! Its going to blow!" Jesse shouted at the Jedi besides him, "Commander Y/n is still in there!"

"We have to leave! Now! Get the transports out of here!"

"But Commander!"

"Now!"

Y/n was getting everyone out, force pushing them down carefully to the ground.

"I have to check if anyones inside!"

"Commander no!"

"Go! Now!"

Y/n rushed back inside only seconds later the explosion going off. Y/n the only one inside as the others took cover as quick as possible. With the rubble falling down, she did as well. Being left crushed under some rocks for dead, her head bleeding, her ribs crushed, her spine brusied, she was dying a slow and painful death.

She was left there, no one did come and find her, she wasnt expecting it anyways, until later that day, the night had taken over the sky and she was passed out, swimming in her thoughts deep in her head and her own blood. Rocks pushed aside and body being lifted up Maul had picked her up in his arms walking away from the scene.

Waking up suddenly and in pain she looked around.

"So you've awaken."

Maul walked over to her Y/n backing up slightly as she winced backing into the wall.

Maul stopped in his spot. Y/n looking up at him as she then looked away.

"You know. Don't you?" Y/n asked.

"Its not everyday you see a night sister with markings such as yours."

"Get it right! I am not a night sister! I am a human being!" Y/n shouted immediately grabbing her chest in pain, "your...night sisters that...mother- she used me..."

"Fair point."

"It seems me and you have more in common than you think." Maul spoke, slidding a cup over to her with his foot.

"It will give your chest relief-"

Without hesitation she drank it immediately, she pulled away from the cup choking she had downed it so fast.

"I save you, and you go and die by choking."

"Why save me?"

"Why do anything anymore?"

Y/n pulled away from Ezra, the teen opening his eyes, "he saved you? But why?"

"I cant even answer that." Y/n responded, "but I repayed him later on, but he always tried to one up me, soon enough I fell for him, and it seemed him for me..."

Y/n panted heavily the two sitting against the control panels of the star cruiser that had just crashed.

"Damn." Y/n spoke, "we have to stop meeting like this."

Maul only chuckled, "we do indeed."

"I suppose we're each other's gaurdian angels." Y/n responsed rubbing her temples with one hand as they're chlothes were full of cuts and stains of dirt and blood fresh or dried.

"The more we saved each other the more we fell in love."

The two looked towards each other, Maul took the turn away first, but Y/n pulled his head back to look at her after grabbing one of his horns, forcing him into a kiss, he only returned it, deepining the kiss by turning his head and running a hand through her hair. Y/n pulled away.

"I figured saving you is starting to become boring payment for you saving me." Y/n responded..

"And within time.' Y/n spoke, "we were begging the other for them to come with us."

"Maul! Take my hand!" Y/n begged, "Your master does not care about you! Come! With me!"

Taking a step closer to him she finally reached arms length turning his saber off for him she let him keep hold of it.

"Don't do this Maul. They may not care but I do." Y/n tried to convince, "come with me please!"

"Y/n!"

"No! Anakin don't!"

"And as I pulled at him, he pulled at me." Y/n told Ezra.

"Take my hand!" Maul begged, "Y/n! Take my hand!"

Obi-Wan and Anakin stood there sabers in hand.

" Come with me!" Maul argued.

"Y/n! If you join him theres no telling what would happen!" Obi-Wan tried to convince.

"You turned on me! Why?" Y/n demanded, "I love you both and you turn on me!"

"Y/n this wasnt our choice!" Anakin spoke, "Y/n. I love you."

"Anakin!"

"Y/n! He lies!" Maul argued, "they both do!"

"Don't act like you dont either Obi-Wan!"

Obi wan sighed, "Y/n please, we care about you. Come back. We both care about you dearly!"

"At the end of the line. I was betrayed no matter which side I turned too." Y/n told Ezra, "I've been betrayed by every one."

"I'd never betray you." Ezra said, causing her to smile.

"You'd be a first." She spoke.

It was silent for only a few moments.

"Would you have left the republic for him if he left the Sepertist?" Ezra asked.

"Yes." Y/n responded without hesitation, "but things changed after he killed Satine."

"Satine?"

"The last Dutchess of Mandolore. She was like a sister."

"Im still confused. Your as angry as any other sith, but calm as a jedi. How are you doing it?"

"Im neither or." Y/n spoke, "i can't follow the Jedi code but I wont kill in anger."

Ezra was quiet, "Get some sleep young one." Y/n spoke.

Ezra did as told hoping up into his bunk as Y/n stayed on the floor meditating.

[zmayadw]

And the next one as promised :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 6

The day i got released form hospital finaly came. I was happy about it, taking a breath of fresh air will be a welcoming change after over three weeks in here. Some bruises wer still visable, and my head hurted from time to time, but other then that the doctor gave me a green light. And having too much free time makes your toughts wonder in wrong direction too much. Thinking about Jake was my daily routine, and i hoped once i get out other things will get me occupied. Jessy wanted me to stay with her, but i managed to persuade her that i'd be better of at the motel. She reluclantly agreed, but I argued that i would still be resting most of the time, and promised her we will see eachother every day, wich made her respect my decision a bit more. She called me that moring, telling Dan will come and drive me to the motel, because she was bussy planing a surprise for me. „Oh, Jessy, pleas dont go overboard, it is my first day out, i wont be up for much.“ I protested, but she quickly reasured me its nothing big. Knowing Jessy, i was sceptical about it, but she sounded so happy that i just agreed to whatever she had in plan. I was about done packing, when Doris came bringing me my dischrage papers. She gave them to me, embracing me in a tight hug „You be good now, hun. And remember what i told you before.“ She said, giving me one more of her winks. „Thank you, Doris.“ I replied, handig her a chocholate bombonier i asked Jessy to get me. „For everything.“ I hugged her once more. „No need to thank me, hun.“  „Ahh, Doris, im jelaous, i didnt get a hug from you when i was leaving the hospital.“ It was Dan, being dramatic again. I laughed, as Doris went for the door „Schmacks dont deserve hugs!“ she grinned at him, and left. „She likes me...she just wont admit it.“ Dan said, grining. „So,you ready to leave this shithole?“ „Definatly!“ i said, taking my discharge papers and putting them in my pack. Dan took it from me, and we left the room, taking the elevator down. Stepping outside was so refreshing, i stopped at the exit for a brief moment, wich made Dan turn „You allrigh there?“ „Im good, just appriciate being outside again.“ I smiled. We continued to the car. Dan opened the door for me, putted my stuff on the back seat, and we drove towards motel. I rolled the window down letting the cool morning air blow to my face and through my hair. The drive wouldnt last that long, and Dan informed me that Jessy booked the room for me already and took the rest of my stuff there, and my car also waiting for me at the motels parking. „Dan, whats Jessy planing for me today?“ i asked. „Oh, no,no, im keeping my mouth shut!“ he replied, but i groaned at him pleading „Please, Dan, at least give me a hint. I just got out of hospital, and to be honest, im not up for big fanfaras, but i dont want to dissapoint Jessy either. And lets be honest, its Jessy wer talking about here, nothing is small or meaningless with her.“ He laughed at that „Your right about that! Alright, ill tell you, but if she realize you knew something..“ „Dont worry, i can act being genuinely surprised with no problem.“ I asured him. „Well, its nothing much, rellay. We're taking you for dinner.“ he said. Ok, thats not so bad, i tought, i do have to eat. „And she invited the gang to Aurora this evening, to celebrate your release from hospital.“ Ugh, i hoped that wouldnt happen so soon, that i would at least have a day or so for me before seeing everyone. „Ah, crap, i guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.“ I said, adding „Later would be better, tho.“ „Dont worry, Maya, ill be there to rescue you, AGAIN.“ He grinned at me, and i grinned back „Good, because i just might need some rescuing, again.“

Dan left me at the motel, and i entered the small checkin office. The woman behind the counter was eldery, and she smiled at me „Good morning, miss, what can i do for you?“. „Morning'“ i replied, smiling back „I had a room booked for me by a friend, i guess you know her, Jessica Hawkins?“. She smiled more now „Ah, ofcourse, miss Cole i presume?“ i nooded in agreement. „Yes, Jessica brought all your belongings already. I would just ask for you to fill this, please.“ She handed me that check in paper you get at every motel. I filled it, and she gave me the key.“You're at room 11, its on your right once you leave the office. And i'm Ms. Walter, fell free to ask if you need anything.“ „Thanks, i will.“ I replied, taking the key.

The room looked cozy enough. It had a big bed, with a little nightstand next to it with a lamp on it. There was a midium size table in front of a big window, wich i immidiatly felt greatefull for, since some natural light is what i prefere for my drawing work, and a closet next to it. Across from the bed was a  TV, and a little refrigeratore under it. The bathroom was small, wich is more then enough. I left my stuff on the bed, when i noticed a note on the nightstand. 'The car key is in the nightstand drawer. Get some rest, and see you later! Xoxo' It was from Jessy, and that made me smile. I took the key and went to the car to get the rest of my stuff. The day was nice and sunny, and i tought i souldnt spend the whole day in the motel. I went back to the room, unpacked, grabed some clean clothes and went for a shower. When i got dressed i sat at te table and turned my laptop on. I checked my mails, and some job offers. Its good when you're a freelancer, you can work from anywhere, and I actually felt some work might keep me occupied and not let my mind wonder to Jake.  The tought of him leaving my hospital room  two weeks ago still pained me, but i cant sit here and despair all the time, so i decided to grab my drawing stuff and head exploring. I hoped Jessy wouldt mind me going to town alone, she did promise me a grand tour of it once im out of the hospital. I took my phone and texted her „Hey hey, setteled at the motel. Going for a walk arround, but dont worry, im still looking forward for my tour arround Duskwood with you! xoxo“. She replied soon „Oh, nice, have fun! Just stay out of woods! xD See you for dinner J „. Great, now i could leave without feeling any guilt. I grabbed my backpack and left the motel.

I decidet to walk towards the marketplace, i had plenty of time since it wasnt even noon yet, and Jessy and Dan wont pick me up before 19. I passed a small bakery on my way there, and bought me some food and a bottle of water. The streets leading towards marketplace wer small and narrow, mostly with older buildings and pretty quiet. After some 30-40 minutes of slow walk,  i emerged to the marketplace, and it was comepletly different. The crowd thickened, and the place hummed with life. In the center was a nice funtain, with benches in circle arround it. Few wer occupied with people: one had an eldery couple, just sitting there on the sun and talking, on the other wer two mothers, drinking coffee while kids wer running arround, giggling and enjoying a nice day. I sat on one of the free benches, and took my drawing pad out. The warmth of the sun felt nice, and i began drawing. I can get quite zoomed out of my surroundings when drawing, so when i finaly noticed someone was standing in front of me, i jumped, and my penciles flew all over the floor. I started to stan up from the bench, at the same time that someone started to bend down to help pick them up,our heads coliding. That sent me sitting back on the banch, as both of us groaned from the impact. „Auch.“ I flinched, looking at the person stnding there. It was Jake. „Sorry, i didnt mean to sneak up on you.“ he said, still rubbing his forehead. „No, no, its fine, i was really focused, i didnt see you there.“ I barely managed to say, my voice shakey, clumsely picking my penciles from the floor.He was the last person i expected to run into. I really wasnt ready for this, the knot in my stomach starting to form, as i finaly collected all the penciles and sat back on the bench. I knew we wer gonna run at each other eventualy, but not so soon. He sat next to me, and i could notice by his body language he was a bit nervouse, too. „You look better.“ he said after a moment of silence, giving me a small smile, wich made my heart skip from joy. „Thanks, i feel much better,too.“ I replied, smiling back. He was looking at me so tenderly, and the heat from the sun made me so hot, i had a feeling my cheeks wer red as a lobster. He run his hand through his hair, and all i could think is how much i wanna do that. His look became more serious now, his eyes becoming darker, but that tenderness was still present. „Maya..“ he started „That day at the hospital.. I didnt..I'm sorry..“ but i interupted him. „No need to appologise, Jake, really.“ And he really didnt have to. I continued, before he could say anything else. „Look, its like this: you had every right to act like you did, and even tho it wasnt easy for me to hear you say those stuff, you wer right, in a way.“ He looked me a bit confused. „You wer probably right, I didnt think quite hard about every possible thing that could go wrong, and God knows i had more luck then im willing to admit. But thats just who i am: i act, i go with the flow, i make mistakes. And i appologise when I realize I was wrong, wich I would do to you if you just stayed for a while more. And i mean appologise for not telling you, or anyone about my plan, not for what i did at the end, hence me saying that you wer right in a way.“ I looked at him, he was still calm, not a trace of that anger i saw at the hospital anywhere on his face. That made me relax a bit. „Maya, just let me...“ he started again, but i interputed him once more „Please, Jake, just let me finish, then you can say whatever you wnat.“ He nodded in agreement. „ I know saying 'sorry' at that time seemed so pointless, but you have to know that i really am sorry, Jake, a thousand times sorry. Yet, i still stand by what i said, i would do it all over again, no matter the qonsequences.“ I paused for a moment, before i continued „I really hope you can forgive me. I got so used at having you in my life, and for it to end here and now...“ He looked at me, but i couldnt bring myself to look back at him. I just stared at my hands, not realizing this whole time i was clasping them so tightly. „I hope you wont shut me out of your life comepletly.“ We sat there in silence for what seemed like eternity. I got my courage and looked at him. He was staring in the distance now. „I felt helpless.“ he said, looking back at me now. „It got me...scared.“ he confessed, and i ached to just hug him. I could see this was being hard for him, saying it. „I've had that happen once before in my life, and it didnt end well.“ His eyes became so sad. „I'm not sure im ready to go through it again.“ That knot at my stomach tightened as he said it, but i took a deep breath „I understand. I'v let you down, i know. But i hope with time, you will be able to trust me again..let me be your friend, at least.“ Friend...that word felt so wrong to me. I didnt want to be just his 'friend', i wanted to be more, so much more. But, i guess at the moment i would be happy with anything. He stared at me for a moment, and before he said it, a smile formed at the corner of his lips „One step at the time.“ „Thats all im asking.“ I said, smiling shyly. He sat there in silence for a brief moment before slowely getting up. „You're good, by the way.“ He said, and i looked at him puzzeled, wich made him smile. He had such a sincere and wonderfull smile. „Your drawing, its good.“ He continued, pointing at my drawing pad. „Oh, that, thanks!“ i replied. „I better be good, i doubt i'll get paid otherwise .“ i grinned. He shook his head at me smiling, walking slowely away from the bench „See you arround, Maya.“ „See you, Jake.“ Watching him walk away this time didnt leave me in pain and agony. I felt hope again. Maybe Doris and Jessy weren't talking nonsence, afterall, I tought, not realising i was grinning like crazy.

After Jake left, i just sat there, letting my heart stop beating insanely. I was really happy for how our unexpected meeting went, i tought there really was some hope for us again. Oh man, Jessy will go crazy when i tell her all about it, she will so rub me her ' i told you so's' in the face! That got me laughing out loud, a few passerbys looking at me like i was crazy. And they wer right, i was crazy! Crazy for Jake. Everything about him drow me crazy: his gorgeous eyes, that ruffeled hair, and that beautifull smile. He shoud definatly smile more, i tought, his whole face smiles when he does it. The churchbell chimmed five , and i cursed under my breath. I better head back to the motel, i need another shower for sure. I quickly grabbed my stuff from the bench, deciding to grab coffee before headiding back. My toughts wer still running wild about Jake as i was walking back towards motel, i colided with a man. I almost dropped my coffe, quickly appologizing. „Be carefull there, miss, you never know who you might bump into.“  He said, a bit grim, like he was makeing a threath. I looked at him a bit astonished „Uhm, i will mister, thanks for your advice. And, sorry again!“ I slowly turned and continued my way. Strange guy i tought, but didnt pay any more toughts about it continuing back to the motel.

[maskedjoker]

We are getting really close to the scene in lost fragment of snow that was genuinely confusing in the book, and it's the scene were everyone in the circus is killed. I think what we will probably get is a scene were mana finally ends up giving into despair after he is hit and then allen is fed to a lion.

I think that with more current info, i can say for sure that sleeve earl and mana are a hybird. This will likely cause a resurgence of sleeve earl into taking over the body and becoming whole. This only lasts for a short time however and when cross confronts him after the rest of the circus has died from the audience turning into akuma(which i suppose are implied to be constantly just around the earl and is probably one of the many reasons cross warned Allen to stay away) some exchange of words or damage causes a lots of control. This damage however also hurts mana(or potentially just being forced out off control) causing him to loose even more memories as seen when mana and Allen reunite the next day.

Now i think we can agree that sleeve earl exists as a third entity, especially since her recent art exhibit interview, as she talked about the suit being a super sophisticated golem. I think in this case as with tim and lero yhat "golem" refers to AI. Id argue with the weird phrasing like helix of life and all the biotech style that magic is more often than not just more advanced technology, and wherever the noahs came from likely was, hence why they say they only seem strong because we have become so weak. This is only further shown with innocences resemblance to machines like its gear like parts and percentage resonance.

The noah memories in general i think are some kind of AI that passes through generation lines, carrying significant portions of its past forward and then fusing with a similar person in their lineage. For example early on road would have been just road, then through some means either became an AI(or was given a piece of someone that counts as one under golem, its unclear). Regardless once connected to the noah memory, it acts like a save file and becomes more sophisticated with time. It carries each life and gives all those memories, feelings and drives to a new body. So new road would remember being road, her life and everything, but also the life they had been living up until the two combined. Over time the noah memory keeps getting larger and larger to the point new experiences are so small, relatively speaking, that it overrides much more than normal. Since they are fuzed as one being they likely cant be separated without mutually assured destruction, were the current entity will die and any remains will not be the origionals, if anything remains at all. An example of this is that tyki could not be made human by Allen I their fight i the arc, despite having a blade that should destroy only part of him. Admittedly tyki is a special case though, and more tyki backstory is needed.

Changes from body to body become more subtle, but the base, which likely has a distinct core function as seen by its response to certain tasks and ideas, remains a strong aspect. This creates an almost reincarnation like effect for them, needing to only find a new body to continue.

The suit is like this, but different. I don't know how the original earl split, but i do think that some aspect of him was placed on the suit. I would like to say its the original version of the noah memories of the earl and nea got like a brand new copy, but i actually have no idea what memories he has of being past earl so its mostly a guess. Regardless the noah actually all seem to transform in some way when they get mega pissed. Im looking at you skinn, jasdevi, and tyki/joyd. So the suit is likely that kind of thing, but way more distinct and capable of acting autonomously. Since they all have different forms it makes sense that his would also be unique. They all probably represent some inner desire related to their memory. Skinn is just rage so big angry man works fine. Jasdero and devit are bonds so they want most to be one. Tyki got all fucked up before he changed so i got nothing, but it had a heavy does of sadism, which I guess is pleasure? Taking into account that killing in horrible graphic ways is his guilty pleasure it kinda makes sense.

So because of that, this sentient AI is constantly trying to pair with half a fucking brain because nea and mana only share one brain cell. Some kind of resistance from mana or strain causes him to constantly fall ill or comatose. Now to be clear on naming, sleeve earl does not refer to themselves as adam in the mirror scene nor does he refer to mana as adam, and only uses "we" when talking to mana about being the earl. Oddly enough the earls self pronouns are we, using wagashi which is kind of like the japanese equivalent of the royal we used in europe for the entirety of the series. For the record, mana in the flashbacks uses male or single they pronouns, i don't remember if he uses boku or watashi, but he uses at least one if not both.

So from this it seems millennium earl is a title, used by whatever is paired with the suit. Adam is the original name of the noah, and is the preferred name of the current earl aside from the title.

This circumstance was likely caused by the rest of the noah, who are using the earl for something related by the pillar. His separation either by accident or by intent was likely by the hands of his family trying to keep control for their ends. This is why the current earl is called a broken puppet and has so many things around him related to acting and stage plays. He is playing a role, the red clown to allens white clown as stated in the ark arc. He even wears a mask. His memories and mind have been damaged though, therefore broken. However broken puppet for both allen and the earl could also refer to a puppet that doesnt work as a double meaning, implying they can no longer be controlled or puppeted.

It is also implied that he is still unaware of this betrayal, but it is likely nea does to some degree as it would explain why he became a traitor and killed his own family. To be clear, i dont think all of the noah know everything, and i dont think they dont actually care for the earl. It seems they still genuinely follow him to their death and see him as one of their own, especially in cases like road, tyki and wisely.

Now early i said that different generations of noah would cope woth reincarnating differently. Since the earl only died once before 7000 years ago, id say resetting to a new body with only 17 years would be just smashed flat by any algorithm with that much data. However manas feelings are still the newest, and so still have an impact even on the current earl.

Now we come to resurrecting mana. How? Why? Well i dont know. But my guess is whatever part was the memories of mana for the 20 or so years he lived, or at least his memories at death, are in allen. His curse and weird hallucinations of mana seem to suggest it. Alternatively that part of his soul may have passed on, or it fuzed with the noah memory making the origional mana part of the hive and much like tyki and his noah memories cannot be seperated. Not good regardless.

As two additional things, i want to mention that hoshino is a twin and has always been obsessed with it, so having twins in her book was inevitable. What is extra weird is hoshino was actually going to be a triplet, but either her or her sister absorbed it before birth. She has mentioned it in dgm interviews and i cant PROVE it translates to anything in the plot but its suspicious. She also still list mana, nea and the earl as distinct in every book up to date in extra novels and at the start of her books. Oh and her favorite hat for the earl right now? The one featured on the most recent chapter? Has two faces on the front that are visible, and one in the back thats hidden, and the most recent art has the back face as the only one visible, angrily staring allen down. Great art foreshadowing if im right. Its also usually sleeve earl, if not exclusively, that wear it.

The second thing is mana talking about love and drive in the most recent chapter just brings up the earl having the noah memory of love or devotion or something for me. Ive written about it before but it just seems to fit. This character is all about that from the ability to fuze loved ones together to the hearts he talks with and his drives being based on grand acts of devotion, being by their side etc. Mana also loved and adopted both and dog and a homeless child and keeps talking about how the world is so beautiful despite all the bad. The earl literally acts like the whole noah clans mom by his own words and cooks for them, and both of them go out of their way to be cartoony to break tension. The earl literally goes and buys a single red rose from a poor girl while tyki pontificate on how he doesnt act like a villain. He doesnt take an umbrella because he wants to feel the rain. He talks about how what he does is in human nature and requires a connection between two people. He is even designed with his ideal colors as red and purple with white, as well as being designed after flowers. I know this probably doesnt make sense, but its stuck in my head.

[imaginedeux]

Sixth Sense

Run, we need to get a way!

Guys run!

This isnt good, we need to get out of here and now!

LEAVE THEM ALONE!

Exploring places was something you had done since you were young, being the youngest and the only girl in your group of cousins, you wanted to show them you werent scared to explore abandoned places, or even haunted places. Your old home town was founded as an army base during the civil war and saw blood shed for the first give or take 100 years of its existence, which caused the places you and your cousins to explore to be haunted. Fast forward to present day, you no longer live in your hometown, but live in Santa Monica, California with a mundane job to pay for the overly expensive loft you were renting. You also had a small youtube channel, nothing too big, it was more of a way to record your adventures in California and a way for your parents to make sure you were okay. That is until you bumped into a very popular social media duo while they were trying to sneak into a ‘haunted’ location near where you lived. The warning you gave them, followed by a video by the duo a week later, caused them to contact you and to see if you wanted to join them for haunted location.

That was over a year ago, and now you regularly join them and TFIL for ‘haunted’ overnights. A majority of which were legit, you could feel the presence of spirits before you stepped foot on the property, while others were just people being a-holes and scaring you guys off. Thats one of the reasons why you joined the duo and TFIL for those adventures, you were able to sense a spirit near by, and were able to warn them when they went too far. This has been something you’ve been able to do since you were a kid, and wasnt an unfamiliar feeling either. That is, until Colby told you that he and Sam wanted you to join them for a haunted overnight in London, with Cory and Jake in tow as well.

With your luggage in tow and your new passport in hand, you and the guys were off to London for Sam and Colby’s new series. What they didnt tell you was, there were two locations you would be visiting, possible a third, but two for sure. The first location did a number on you and the group, the experts told you the stories associated with the room Sam and Colby and with the floor the five of you were staying on. Everything that went on during the night, and after the group went to their rooms for the night, shook the group, you especially. You weren’t one to have nightmares much less ones you could remember after waking up, but the dream you had stayed with you as you traveled to the second location.

“Hey, you okay (Y/N)? You look like you’ve been in a trance since we left the hotel.” Corey, who was sitting next to you in the backseat asked you as you looked down at your hands.

“Just thinking about what happened last night.” You murmured, your nightmare coming back to mind. “I didn’t want to freak you guys out while we were checking out, but I had a really intense nightmare that included all of us.”

“Nightmare? I thought you said you didnt have them?” Colby asked, looking at you through the rear view mirror, his eyes shifting from you to the road.

“Thats the thing I dont. I havent had one since I was a kid. It was after you came knocking at my door asking if I had called you guys, or even asking if I had left a voice mail. I fell asleep for an hour and I woke up from what felt like a never ending nightmare, I wasnt going to let myself go back to sleep so I sketched out what was happening in my dream. The only thing I could draw was the church, and its surroundings.” You explained grabbing your bag taking out a notebook you carried around with you, flipping it to the page where you drew the church. “The thing that stuck out the most was the graveyard that surrounded it, and the forest.”

~~~

“Hey (Y/N), didnt you say you had a nightmare about a church?” Jake asked from your right, shaking you awake from your short slumber.

“Y-Yeah, what about it?” You yawned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, looking straight out the windshield. Both Sam and Colby were looking out to the left of the car, their camera recording on the dash straight at you.

“And that the church was surrounded by a graveyard?” Sam said this time, from his seat in the passenger side. 

“Yeah, what of...” You started before you looked out the window to your left. “No, there’s no fucking way.”

“(Y/N) did you know what church we were going to today?” Colby asked, turning to look at you face to face. “Because that’s exactly the church you drew.”

“NO! You guys wouldn’t even tell us the name of the church! How was is supposed to know THIS was the church we were going to!?” You questioned the blue eyed brunette in the driver seat.

“I dont like this you guys.” Corey said from your left. “(Y/N) had a nightmare, a NIGHTMARE, about this place. And she apparently doesn’t even have nightmares, and she has one about this place, A PLACE SHE’S NEVER EVEN SEEN BEFORE!”

“Guys, off camera (Y/N) told us she had a nightmare, note she hasn’t had a nightmare since she was a kid, about us at a church surrounded by a graveyard last night after the phone call. She also said she drew out the church, a way to keep her awake until we had to check out this morning.” Sam explained to the viewers what was going on. “And this is what she drew, without knowing what church we were going to.” Sam grabbed the notebook from you and showed it to the camera.

“Which is the exact church we’re staying in tonight.”

~~~

“Okay, this is getting freaky. (Y/N), has called everything thats happened so far, from the crows, to the teeth on the graves. I dont think staying here is a good idea guys.” Jake said as the sun started to set over the woods at the back end of the church, giving the group less light to see over the graveyard. “She even called the fucking tombs in the church!”

“Come on Jake, shes also said by this time in her dream shit hit the fan, and we’re okay, we already have our blankets for the night, the camera is ready to record us for the rest of the night to make sure we capture everything we can. We’ll be okay.” Colby said trying to calm down the other skeptic in the group. You said nothing as Jake argued with Sam and Colby, all you wanted to do was get out of the place as fast as you could, and the only way to do that is go to sleep. Being unconscious was better than feeling on edge the entire time.

“What else did you dream (Y/N), was this in the dream too?” Corey asked taking a seat next to you, your back to the three other guys as you faced the front of the church.

“No, thats why I want to leave. With the dream I was able to pin point what not to do but now that its nothing like it, i’m scared that something might happen.” You confessed, still looking towards the front of the church, the tombs covered by darkness. “I’m not able to stop something bad from happening if something does go wrong.”

“I understand the feeling. Especially after what my little brother texted me yesterday, I feel like I cant help him if I dont know what im going up against. And its scary.” Corey whispered as the yelling behind the two of you started to quiet down.

“We’ve both had things happen since our childhood. You’ve been seeing things since your family used the Ouija board, and I’ve had the feelings since before I could remember. Believe it or not my mom once told me she could feel spirits when she was my age, and so did my grandma. They’ve both told me that they were able to feel spirits most of their lives, but they cant anymore.”

“What stopped them? Maybe you can do that and you wont be able to feel the spirits anymore!”

“I dont think it’s that simple.” You laughed. The dry laugh caught the attention of the three other guys in the church as well. “They stopped being able to feel spirits the day I was born.”

“Hey guys, I think this is a good time to head to bed.” Sam said this time, the harsh LED light illuminating dark half of the church. “The faster we get to sleep, the faster we’ll be out of here.”

~~~

Sam! Colby! Guys! Get back to the Church now! Jake, Corey, i’m going to go and get them, stay here.

You’re too late

No! No i’m not! Sam! Colby!

You cant protect them

I WILL!

The air was finally able to reach your lungs as you shot up from your make shift bunk. The cold air surrounding you caused steam to radiate of your person, and your deep exhales to create puffs of smoke in front of you. You looked around to see if your sudden movements woke anyone else up, thats when your heart dropped. Before you went to bed, Sam took the bunk closest to the door and Colby took the one to your left while Corey and Jake took the ones to your right. Both Sam and Colby’s bunks were empty.

“No, no, no, no!” You mentally yelled pulling on your shoes as fast and as quietly as you could, not wanting to wake the two other boys. As you got up, you heard one of the bunks shift and a loud gasp come from behind you.

“Did, did you shake me awake!?” Jake asked, his eyes wide. “(Y/N), did you shake me awake?!”

“No. Now quiet down.” You tried shooshing Jake. “You’ll wake Corey if you’re too loud.”

“Too late for that, what’s going on? Where’s Sam and Colby?” Corey asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Jake are you okay man? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I woke up because it felt someone was shaking me awake! Then when I got up (Y/N) was getting up from her bunk.” Jake explained getting up from his bunk and flipping it over. “Where are Sam and Colby? Did they do this?”

“I dont know! When I woke up they were gone, thats when I got up and you woke up. Stay here, I’m going to look for them.” You said grabbing one of the extra flashlights. 

“No! We’re not going to let you go out there on your own.” Corey said slipping on his shoes. “Whoa, wait what happened to you? You’ve soaked through your shirt.” Thats when you realized your sweater was completely soaked with sweat from the nightmare you were having before you woke up.

“My nightmare. No.” You whispered before you bolted towards the door of the church. “You guys stay here, I think somethings gonna happen, something bad. I have a big bag of salt in my backpack, use it to make a circle around the bunk area, and DONT leave it. Not for me, not for anyone okay? Unless you see us in person, dont believe your ears, okay?”

You stood at the door, the gates open behind you, leading out into the grave yard, Corey and Jake confused. “Things are going to get bad.”

“Bad? What do you mean bad? (Y/N), you can’t leave us in the dark, especially after everything thats been happening!” Jake yelled walking towards you.

“FINE!” You screamed back. This was probably the first time they heard you raise your voice in anger. “Fine! When I was younger, right when I was realizing that could feel spirits, a demon attacked one of my cousins while we were exploring one of the old hospitals in the area. My other cousins all ran away, too scared to think of a way to get the demon away from them. I stepped in and the next thing I knew it was three weeks later and I was in the hospital. I was in a coma after detaching the demon from my cousin who was in a coma as well. The thing is while I was in the coma I had a never ending nightmare.”

“What does that have to do with us!?”

“Because! I was having nightmares of this place! Thats why when I woke up today I was repeating the nightmare from all those years ago! Before tonight I had no recollection of what happened to me and my cousin, its almost as if it never happened. And because of the nightmare from yesterday and the eerie feeling from today, I was able to remember it. I texted one of my older cousins while we were out buying blankets and they said that it was true, but that the family promised not to bring it up to either of us. In my nightmare, from YEARS before I moved out to California, I had a nightmare of you four. I was trying to protect you guys, Sam and Colby. Now it’s actually happening, so I have to go and protect Sam and Colby.”

“Wait! Why do we have to stay here? If we go and look for them all together we might be able to find them faster!” Corey said this time, grabbing the camera from where Colby left it to record you all through the night.

“Because the safest place you can be is in this church. The salt circle will keep you extra protected, you coming with me will just put you in danger. Please, stay here. There’s still a couple of hours until sunrise, if we’re not back by then call the police.”

~~~

“SAM! What the hell are you doing man!” Colby yelled, finally catching up with his blonde best friend. “You cant just get up and walk out of the church and into the creepy ass woods by yourself.”

“Sorry, I have the camera as a light so its not that bad, but I kept hearing things. I wasnt sure if it was from inside the church at first, then I heard it outside.”

“What were you hearing? You could have woken one of us up. You cant be going out here by yourself.”

“SAM! COLBY!”

“Is that (Y/N)? What’s she doing up?” Colby thought pointing the flashlight he had towards the direction of your voice. As Colby was about to call out to you, the atmosphere around them grew heavy. “Whoa, did you feel that Sam?”

“Yeah-yeah, it felt like the air got heavy. I think its time for us to get back to the church Colby.” Sam said this time, the camera facing Colby, the look of fear obvious on their faces. “Wait, where’s (Y/N)? I swore I heard her voice!”

“SAM! COLBY! Jesus, there you guys are!” You yelled, running up to them from the woodwork. “We need to get back to the church now!”

“We were about to head back, but why are you soaked? What happened?” Before you could respond to Colby’s frantic questions, an unearthly screech cut you off. The three of you fell to the ground, hands covering your ears, the camera in Sam’s hand fell, the light on it flickering from the fall. “What the hell was that?!”

“We need to get back to the church now!” The crack in your voice scared the duo. For as long as they’ve known you, you’ve never been one to be scared by the spirits, but this was a different story. “Please, we need to get back to the church!”

Grabbing the camera, you pointed it at the duo in front of you, the light still flickering, but it was the only way to keep you in your line of sight. “I can’t lose sight of you guys, so please lets get back to Corey and Jake.”

“What’s going on (Y/N)? Why didnt you bring Corey and Jake with you?” Sam asked coming to a stop near the edge of the woods.

“Yeah, and did you feel that shift earlier? What was that?” Colby asking this time.

“There’s no time for questions, we need to get to safety, please!” You were pleading with them at this point. The sinking feeling in your stomach was getting worse. “Please we need to leave!”

“No! Not until you tell us whats going on!” Colby yelled at you. It didn’t phase you, it was a high stress situation and yelling in normal. Taking in a deep breath you told the duo what you told Jake and Corey back at the church. You could tell as you were reciting the story that they knew this was serious.

“So, we need to get the hell out of here and back to the church where its sa-” You started before the light on the camera Sam still had in his hand, went out.

There’s no place to run, you were smart to leave the other two in the church, but these two are mine.

“Don’t you dare get near them! I’m the one you want! I’ve beat you once before, I can beat you again!” You yelled at nothing. “Whatever you guys do, do not talk to him. You guys acknowledging him will only make it worse.”

“Right.” The pair whispered. As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you grabbed onto Sam and Colby, “We need to get back to the church, follow me.”

Not so fast (Y/N), you dont think it’ll be that easy?

“Sam!” A familiar voice yelled from the darkness. “Sam please help me I’m hurt!”

“Ka-” Sam started before you let go of Colby to slam your hand on Sam’s mouth.

“It’s a trick! Don’t trust your ears, they’ll trick you.” You explained. “Same goes for you Colby, no matter who you hear, it doesn’t matter who, if you cant see them, do not trust the voices you hear.” You grabbed Colby’s jacket, pulling him and Sam back towards the church. “I’m sorry you guys.”

“Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault this is happening, you didn’t know that this thing was going to come back.” 

“Yeah, if anything its our fault that we didnt listen to you, after you were predicting everything that happened.”

They’re right, they should have listened to you, just like your cousins should have listened to you when this happened all those years ago.

“We were children! You had the balls to attack children! That just shows you how weak of a demon you are! It makes you even weaker when a child was able to exercise you from a the body of another child!” You yelled into the darkness. “You thought you were powerful because of the place we were in! Your worshipers used the hospital as your portal! You were using my cousin as a scapegoat!”

You werent strong enough to get rid of me the first time. What makes you think you’ll be strong enough now? 

As the demon started to laugh, the ground shaking with every cackle, the moon showed itself from behind the clouds, the graveyard lit up with the light. In the middle of all the graves was a massive being, a mix of human and a crow.

“You were always here weren’t you? You were hiding among the crows.” You said letting go of the duo. You faced this demon once before and lived, you can face him again. 

“(Y/N)! Don’t!” Colby whispered as you walked towards the demon. “We need to get to the church!”

“Come on, (Y/N)!”

“No. Not anymore, if I dont get rid of him now, I’ll have to live with this asshole following me!”

Oh, I’m not planning on letting you live, (Y/N). You arent going to live to see tomorrow.

“And im not letting you go, Raum.” With that the creature, screeched at you, stepping back away from you. “I’m no priest, or exorcist but I’ve researched how to get rid of demons!”

“(Y/N) what are you doing!?” Colby ran up to you, blocking your path to the demon. “We need to get back to the church! We’ll be safe their.”

“Sam, grab Colby and haul ass towards the Church, Jake and Corey will be waiting where the bunks are in a circle of salt, that’s where you’ll be the safest. If I don’t make it back by sunrise, I’ve already told Corey and Jake to call the police. Hell maybe call a priest too.” You explained looking between the two again. “Please, im begging you.”

“Come on Colby.” Sam whispered, grabbing onto Colby’s arm pulling him towards the church. “(Y/N) can do this, we’ll only hold her back if we’re here.”

~~~

“Jake it’s been hours and they still aren’t back, and what the hell was that sound!?” Corey asked the only other person in the circle. The yelling and screeching that came from outside the church were something out of a horror movie, it didnt seem real.

“I dont know, and all the cameras cut out when the first screech happened and they havent been able to record since then. Even the cell service has been shit.” Jake groaned sitting on one of the bunks in the middle of the salt circle they drew after (Y/N) ran out the church.

“What if it doesnt come back by sun up? How are we going to get help?”

“We’ll just go to someone’s ho-” Jake started before the doors to church doors slammed open. “Sam? Colby? Is that really you?” Before they could answer Jake grabbed the nearest bottle of holy water and sprayed the duo as they walked towards the bunks.

“Really Jake? Was that necessary?” Colby asked shaking off the cold holy water.

“Sorry, had to make sure. Hey, where’s (Y/N)? And what was that sound from earlier?” Jake asked realizing the person who forced them to stay in the church wasn’t with the duo.

“(Y/N) stayed outside. Remember when she told us when she was younger how her cousin was attacked by a demon back in her hometown?” Colby asked looking between Corey and Jake as the screeching continued in the graveyard, scaring the group.

“Well apparently the thing out there is the same one from her childhood. She told us to come to the church and wait for either her or for the sun to come up. And for us not to trust our ears, that the thing out there might try to get us outside, he almost got me by sounding like Kat.” Sam explained as more screeching and roars sounded from the darkness outside. “And to add salt to the wound, I dropped the camera when the first roar happened so I wasn’t able to get any footage of the demon outside.”

“Right when the first roar happened all the cameras in here went out too. There’s still battery in all of them but they wont record. And, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LEFT HER OUT THERE?” Corey yelled at the best friends. “You’re letting her go against that thing ALONE!?”

“We had to! If we stayed there the demon would have used us against (Y/N), and she’s gone against it before and lived, shes got this in the ba-” Sam started before another roar cut him off, the lights in the church flickering as a scream joined the roar.

“COLBY, I CAN’T DO THIS ALONE!”

“Its not (Y/N)! Dont listen to it!” Sam grabbed Colby before he sprinted out the door. “You know for a fact she wouldn’t call out for us! In any of our investigations, has she ever called for us? No. Don’t listen to him!”

“COLBY HELP! PLEASE I CANT BEAT HIM!”

“COLBY YOU BETTER NOT! DONT YOU DARE LISTEN TO HIM!”

“See that’s (Y/N)!” Sam said tugging Colby back into the salt circle, “We have to trust in her.”

~~~

“It’s been two weeks since the church and we haven’t told the fans what happened, what are we going to do?” Sam asked looking up at Colby, from his seat next to (Y/N). It had been two weeks since the church incident, and they were still in the UK. The night took a turn for the worst when the sun had finally come up and (Y/N) hadn’t made it back to the church. It took almost two days to find her somewhere in the middle of the wood miles away from the church the group stayed at. 

“I know they deserve answers, but our main concern is to make sure (Y/N) is alright. We already contacted her family and they’re aware, which is the most important part. Maybe us staying and Corey and Jake leaving was a bad idea.” Colby muttered, pacing around the hospital room. (Y/N) hadn’t woken up from the coma she was found in almost two weeks prior, and it was concerning the boys. (Y/N)’s parents told the boys that the last time she was in a coma like this it lasted almost a month, and that the boys shouldn’t worry about (Y/N), shes stronger than she seems. “I wish (Y/N) would give us some sort of sign that shes okay.”

“Why does it feel like its out fault? Like if we hadn’t come to London none of this would have happened? Or what if we had stayed in the church? Maybe then we would have been back in LA planning our next adventure.” Sam whispered, rubbing his face with his palms.

“Damn it!” Colby finally yelled after a few minutes of silence. “Why the fuck did this happen to (Y/N)? What if we had stayed there? Maybe it would have been one of us instead of her! Fuck!”

“Quiet down please. We’re in a hospital for fuck sake.” The whisper caught the duo off guard. It was the small smile on the patience’s face that brought them to tears as they hugged the person on the hospital bed. “Okay, I can’t breath guys.”

“Wh-what? When did you wake up? How are you feeling? Do-do you need anything?” Colby asked as Sam ran out the room going to find a doctor or nurse.

“When you guys started to blame yourselves for what happened. Raum was going to come after me one day, it just chose the church because of all the spiritual energy that we were carrying from the hotel the night before.” You, explained before a doctor, nurse, and Sam ran into the room. It was a week later that the trio was on their way back to the States, when you  noticed something.

“Hey Sam, Colby.” You started as you made your way across the London airport to your gate. You stopped and looked around, something was different.

“What’s up (Y/N)? Do you feel something?” Colby asked coming up to (Y/N)

“That’s the thing, I dont feel anything.” You said looking around the airport, every place you’ve ever visited had some sort of spirit lingering around. Good or evil you were able to feel them almost 80% of the time.

“What do you mean you don’t feel anything?” Sam asked the camera in his hand pointing at you and Colby. The three of you had agreed to release what footage you had onto their Youtube channel since you felt like their fans needed some sort of explanation. They just needed to film the last bits of them leaving London before they would do a sit down segment back in LA explaining what had happened at the church.

“I dont feel any spiritual presence, like any. It wouldn’t have bothered me but I had felt a presence when we first landed here. Now there’s nothing.” You said looking back at Sam and Colby. “Maybe me winning cost me my ability to feel spirits.” That statement became even more true when you landed back in LA and did a quick visit to places you knew were haunted, you couldn’t feel anything in any of the locations.

“Hey, maybe its a good thing? I mean people who have some sort of power are usually targeted by demons or evil spirits.” Sam said as the three of you walked up to the first place the three of you met.

“If it keeps you safe, maybe its a good thing that you lost your ability.” Colby said this time.

“But now I feel like I wont be able to protect you guys.” You said looking back at the best friends, tears welling up in her eyes.

“But, we’ll be able to protect you. When you would tell us to back off during an overnight we started to notice how certain things would happen around the time you would speak up. We’re able to tell if somethings going to happen because of all the times you brought it to our attention that something was wrong.” Colby said walking up to you, giving you a small smile. “Anything to protect you even if you dont have your sixth sense.”

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!

[thorinthehottotty]

Seven Kingdoms - Thorin

Based on an idea that @kibleedibleedoo sent me and has been very wonderful and patient about me writing this! Its really a wonderful idea, thank you so much for sending me it! I took some liberties with it, I hope you don't mind.

Your so good at writing im so jealous and i was hoping if i give you a premis you might be able to write a oneshot? Dont feel pressure to do so though i just felt like i needed to get this idea off my chest. So i had the idea of a courting ritual including 7 steps (representing the 7 kingdoms or something) the first is a hand made courting bead, the next 5 are sentimental gifts, and the last step is to wash each others hair (1 parent each as witnesses) and do a 2 strand braid (to represent your union) clasped with a bead the individuals parents' would have made upon their birth with their name and such. In my head Thorins one is not a dwarf so does not have a bead so all of the company are scrambling to help you craft a personal one as soon as the hear of your impending union and who will be your stand in father? It cant be anyone related to thorin as thats a confliction of interest, maybe bofur? I dunno Sorry this has been so long

The bickering and the fighting was giving you an enormous headache. The dwarves were all so near and dear to you that it made this part of the process so hard. With a deep breath, you stand and move toward the balcony, your favorite spot in all of Erebor.

Although it always made you glance out at the place where so many fell during the battle of the five armies, you found an odd peace din staring out at the now snow covered valley. Even now, big fat flakes were falling slowly to the ground in a way that calmed you.

A heavy weight drifted around your shoulders, you glance over to see Bofur smiling warmly at you as he draped a coat about you. "What's this?" He murmurs. "My future queen wandering outdoors without a coat?" You beam back at him with chilled cheeks.

"Sorry, all of the bickering is getting on my nerves. Thank you for the coat, Bo." The dwarf beams at you and matches you posture, leaning against the cold stone to gaze out at the land below.

"They all mean well, lass."

"Oh, I know that," you sigh. "I really appreciate all of you supporting Thorin and I. It's just a lot, you know?" This seemed to mimick the conversation you tended to have on repeat with your future husband. The entire union seemed to be on stand still for one issue Thorin hadn't mentioned. It was hard enough to get him to explain the rules of courting and you ended up having to go ask Balin.

Lo and behold, there were seven steps to courting to represent the seven dwarven kingdoms. The braiding was the first and most obvious step. Something you'd learned and tripped over accepting his blunt asking. Literally. In your defense, all of the docks in Laketown seemed as though they were forever made of ice. But you were very eager to accept.

One thing that you were not expecting, was the fact that dwarves apparently did not have proposals. So when you asked Balin about it, he happen to tell you that you were only one gift away from nearly being married! Each sentimental gift that Thorin took his time to make you himself (and the ones you'd given him without realizing the connotations) was the deepening of your relationship.

His first gift, while he was in his dragon sickness, was one of his mother's necklaces. Something delicate and beautiful. It was eligant. He ahad to wait for you to give him something in return. With each gift he gave you, you scrambled to find something in return, only to discover after that you were very forward in your relationship.

The last step was the only one left to be accomplished now, just one short month after the battle. It had much of the company stumped.

After this, your union to the king would be complete. You would be technically married until your wedding ceremony that he wasn't keen on waiting for his sister to arrive with the rest of his people from the Ered Luin. The dwarf king didn't want to wait. He claimed he'd waited long enough for you, but the logistics of tradition were a bit harsh.

To complete the union, you would have to wash your hair with at least one parent for each of you present. His mother was long gone and his father was still missing, easy enough, Balin would take over. Your parents? Currently in your home dimension with no idea where you were or what you were doing. Kind of hard to do. On top of all of this, in your fiancé's culture, your parents would have made a bead with your name and the family crest so you can give it to Thorin. The company had been tearing their hair out for weeks trying to decide. They still were.

It couldn't be either of his nephews. Not Balin or Dwalin. They were too closely related and it would be a conflict of interest. So that still left quite a few.

"You're handling it all with more fire than the forges," Bofur muses. "Thorin is lucky to have such a determined woman by his side."

"Daw, thanks," you reply, leaning into nudge his side with your hip. "I'd do anything to be with him. Even if it means suffering through you all fighting over me." Bofur chuckles.

"You're so sick of us you've fled into the icy tundra just to escape!" He cries dramatically. He knew how much you dreaded the cold. But he didn't know just how lovely it was for you to crawl into Thorin's bed after standing in the chilly air.

You smile at your friend. "Bo, will you be my surrogate father?" You finally ask. Shock takes his face, then pride.

"It would be my honor and my pleasure, Y/N." You launch forward to hug your dear friend.

...

You lean back into the inviting lips on your neck, shivering under the sensual kisses. "You gotta stop," you plead. You hear the acknowledging rumble Thorin gives but he doesn't stop from delivering hot kisses to the over-sensitive skin of your neck.

You could feel the quickening of your own breath as his arms tightened around you, holding you captive. You should have known he was planning an attack on you when he invited you over to double check his work. His work was always flawless. Now his eager and heady touches were making you all too aware of the tenting of his trousers.

"We can't," you manage to whimper as he begins to pull the ties of your dress loose. His mouth ascends slowly to your ear as your body molds to his.

"I've waited far too long to have you as is." His voice brushing over your ear like black velvet has you pushing your hips into his eagerly. He groans and nips your ear as a reward for your crumbling reserve. Somehow, these secretive scuffles were so addictive and with the approaching dates, you felt helpless to his advances.

He turns you about and pushes you by your hips to slide onto the desk behind you. "Tomorrow evening we'll be united in marriage," you try to argue weakly as he drags the shoulder of your dress down.

Those blue eyes twinkle wickedly and he leans in to go back to attacking your shoulder with his mouth. Damn him. You feel the tugging of your skirts. He's pulling them up your legs enough to settle his hips against yours.

With his mouth on your shoulder, lapping at skin, one of his hands drags up your thigh. He's drawing shapes with his fingertips and it's so distracting you don't wonder about his other hand until it's squeezing a breast and your moaning.

"You bastard," you manage to call. You feel his teeth on you as he chuckles. He doesn't have time to respond because the door is thrown open and you both whip around.

"Unhand my daughter!" Bofur calls, his brother and cousin storming in behind him eagerly. Thorin is pulling your skirts down as your desperately trying to pull your top together.

You'd long since regretted asking Bofur to be your father. He was taking the role much more seriously than you expect. He always ensured you two weren't alone for too long.

"Bofur! You're not actually my dad!" You hiss as he pulls you from the desk. Thorin glowers, unhappy.

"You are still required to knock at the king's chambers," he rumbles.

"Tomorrow, I won't have to. Now come along. Your curfew is up." You snag a kiss from the king who glowers as your dragged away.

Tomorrow.

...

The moment you both met in the baths, the world stilled. All anxiety flooded from you as you make your way to your fiancé. He smiled warmly at you, already half naked. Bofur leads you to the king, beaming brightly, dressed in only your slip. It wasn't uncommon for you both to be naked during the ceremony, but given your background, the dwarves agreed this wouldn't be a necessity.

Dwalin's eyes look a bit glassy as Thorin leads you toward a large pool, the both of you sinking into easily. This whole thing felt so relaxing, with the candles and the oils set about, it was personal and cozy.

Thorin washed braided your hair first, murmuring vows softly in Khuzdul.

He guided you to sink into the water. You never imagined his big hands could be so gentle, but it was so soothing you felt as if you could drift to sleep as he carefully washed your hair. Then he began to rub a sweet smelling oil into your hair. The final braid, a two strand braid for the representation of the union.

You pressed against and held each other as the silence of your friends, the ones only their to bear witness, had you forgetting the two dwarves standing in the steam.

When you felt the beads fall against you, Thorin leaned down to kiss you firmly, nuzzling you in the process. "Amrâlimê," he murmurs.

And you reach for him as he sinks toward the water, allowing you to wash and braid his hair. You did everything slowly, from the soft words that you were careful to pronounce (Bofur insisted they teach you) to the delicate brushing of his hair.

The only sounds were your echoing voice and the gentle splashing of water. Finally, you clasp the gold beads made for you by the company into his hair. He pauses to admire your name etched into them, scales carved beneath them in representation of the journey you were discovered on. Thorin smiles when you press forward and kiss his lips. "My husband," you promise.

"My wife," he replies. And he pulls you with a squeal and a splash into the hot bath water and his lap, kissing you eagerly.

"I think that's our cue to leave."

"Aye. Absolutely."

You barely noticed them leave as the two of you pressed closer. You could feel how sacred the union was. This felt so incredibly right that you couldn't think of anything but kissing your new husband.

"So do you think you can wait for your sister to-" cue the splashing water of the King dragging your slip off and tossing it into the water far away. It hits with a slap.

"Come here, yasîth."

Taglist: @tomisbaeholland @fizzyxcustard @dabisburntnut @queenofmankind @dumbassunderthemountain @saviorsong

[lilhemmo]

Omg thank you so much for writing for vegeta and im so happy u said to request more!! Could i request some jealous vegeta where it makes him and the reader argue then end up making up? I loves angst that ends with fluff! :)

a/n: hello there vegeta anon!! i do hope that you enjoyed my last one shot and this one as well!! feel free to keep requesting if you would like :) 

“You’re suffocating me.”

“He’s looking at you like you’re raw meat!”

“He’s allowed to look at me,” you snark, crossing your arms, “I look good.”

A growl emits from the back of his throat but you smack him on the bicep, “You’re so annoying. I can’t even spend one peaceful afternoon at one of Bulma’s famous cook outs and you’re making menacing eyes at everything that walks past me.”

Nonetheless, he releases his arm from around your waist and turns his body from you in petulance.

That isn’t the first or last time that his hands find your body in a public place, specifically when he catches someone glancing over you in an illicit way. Vegeta’s palms graze over your hips, your shoulders, and sometimes so close as to brush his knuckles against your jaw. You know it’s all for show, a mere act to keep inappropriate attention from you. 

It takes a little while for you to explode in front of a crowd, but eventually you do. Before now you could chock up his protectiveness as secret emotion that his Saiyan cells won’t allow him to express. Before now you could say that maybe he really just wanted to keep you safe. 

But now?

“You can’t have it both ways!”

Your breath heaves from your lungs, eyes bright and watery. You shake your head and stomp your foot in front of him, pointing a finger between his chest plates. 

“You don’t get to act like I belong to you in public and then disregard me when the prying eyes go away!” You drive your finger further into his armor, splitting the chest plate so your fingernail can tear into the thing fabric of his training gear. 

Vegeta growls and his eyes threaten to glow bright blue, “You dare try to embarrass me in front of all these people? Me, Prince Vegeta?”

“Prince of Bad Attitudes!” You shove him backward with a push of your palm. You swallow thickly and try to keep down the hot tears that threaten to spill onto your blushing cheeks. “You’re being a fraud, Vegeta!”

“Gah?!” He steps back and his hands shake by his sides, “H-How dare you?!”

You narrow your eyes and spit the next words out like venom, “How dare you?”

Without another word, you stalk away from the party, towards the lake so you can dip your toes in the water and let your temper roll off of you in waves. The night is balmy and you look up at the stars, your chest heaving with emotion. You take a breath and wipe the tears from your face, wrapping your arms around your waist as you sniffle.

It takes another hour before you hear feet shuffling in the grass behind you. Your toes have turned to raisins, the skin of your feet crinkling in the cool water of the lake. You don’t even have to turn your head before you’re making a snarky comment, “If you’re here to give me a fake excuse for an apology, you can leave. I don’t want it.”

The familiar sound of Vegeta’s grunting is just behind you and you can imagine the tense look on his face; you cant to smile at the thought of it but you keep your face still. 

He walks to where you’re standing, but you’re surprised to see his bare feet in the water. You’ve only seen him without his boots a rare number of times. It’s a part of his armor that he hardly ever removes.

“I don’t understand you,” you break the silence, glaring down at his reflection in the water. You grind your teeth together, hating the fact that you’re seeming so pitiful to him. You must appear weak; he must think so little of you.

Vegeta takes a small breath before speaking, “I cannot pretend to understand you earthlings either.”

“No, you don’t get to make this about me!” You find yourself heating up all over again, blush creeping up your neck to your cheeks. You stare straight at him, “You don’t get to pretend that I’m at fault here. You get to loiter yourself around, slinging yourself onto me so that other people, who are so afraid of you, will cower away from me! It’s so unfair, Vegeta!”

You scowl at him, crossing your arms over your chest to keep yourself from lashing out and trying to slap him. You’re not sure how he’d react, if he would in return lash out back at you. You know you couldn’t take a hit from the mighty Saiyan.

“Of course the earthlings fear me,” he scoffs, “why wouldn’t they? That doesn’t mean they won’t talk to you.”

A glower tightens your brow, “Are you kidding me?! You glow and scream a lot! When you’re tied to my hip every time we’re in public, what do you expect other people to think?!”

You swear you see the beginning of a smirk on his face, and you try to forget how attractive he would be if you weren’t so angry. You roll your eyes and stomp your foot in the water, a splash from the lake darkening your clothes.

“You are insufferable. Why do I continue to choose suffering?!” You run your hands through your hair and you can feel your voice beginning to flutter with nerves. “I get nowhere with you unless my love life is being threatened.”

Vegeta is lost for words, standing beside you with a grimace on his face. He turns his head to look you in the eyes, dark irises almost shining in the moonlight. He swallows and you see his throat bob, “It isn’t my fault that you’re blind, you foul woman.”

“Excuse me?!” you snap, throwing your arms to your sides as you turn to face him. “I’m blind?! How about you?!”

“Tch! I don’t know what you speak of.” Vegeta turns as you grow closer to him. You swear the faintest color of a blush is turning his skin pink, but you’re unable to focus on it as you grip him by the arm. 

“It’s because you’re this stupid Saiyan who cannot see anything further than his own fist in front of him!” You dig your fingers into his skin, forcing him to look at you. “You wouldn’t have to pretend to be something special to me if you’d just open your eyes and realize that you already are special to me. You mean the world to me and every time you walk off to some other battle that decides the fate of the planet, my heart drops all over again.”

Vegeta lets out a gasp from the back of his throat and you’re surprised that he doesn’t punt you across the courtyard or into the lake, given your intense grip on him. 

“Every time that you leave to go back to Whis and Beerus’s world, I lose a year off my life!” Tears blur your vision as you remember the way he came back damaged after the destroyer tournament. His body was crumpled, his armor cracked in all the wrong places. You shake your head and snatch your arm away from him, “I can’t sleep at night when you’re not here and then when you are, I get this back and forth with you that makes my head hurt.”

“Well I can’t help that every time I see you looking at me like I put the planets in the sky, words escape me! It’s like you put me up on this pedestal and I could never live up to what you think of me!”

You’re lost for words at his admission, staggering back a step, the lake water lapping against your calves. Your mouth is gaping and you’re surprised he doesn’t have a snide comment for your appearance. 

“B-But you already think so highly of yourself,” you swallow, blinking a few times to try and clear your senses. “Wh-Why do you have a difficulty understanding how much I think of you?”

Vegeta turns his head, squinting down at the ground so he doesn’t have to look at you. He sighs, reluctant to admit his next words, “I-I can spew words of how proud and mighty I am all day, little woman. It doesn’t mean I always believe it.”

You are emboldened enough to reach up and touch his jaw, “Vegeta...”

He wraps his bare hand around your wrist, but does not stray from you. You’re surprised that he does not cower away from your touch. It gives you the courage to take a step closer and press your free palm against his chest, curling your fingers around his breastplate.

“I want you to want me when there’s no one else around,” you tell him, taking a chance. You force your eyes to focus on his, “I hate that I only feel important to you when someone else could possibly have me. I can’t keep doing this, Vegeta. I don’t care if you think I’m weak.”

“Weak?!” he snaps. He turns your chin upward so he can get a better look at your face, and also to brush his thumb against your lower lip. “Don’t you know that I would not be so attracted to you if you were not the strongest woman I know? You may not be a real Saiyan, little woman, but you are a human force to be reckoned with. I fear for any mortal who stands in your way.”

That prompts a smile on your face, your knees weak at his commentary. You want to kiss him but you’re not sure if that’s something that Saiyans understand.

“Human affection does not make sense to me,” he admits as if he were reading your mind. “However, I know it is what you will need to feel cared for.”

You can’t help the small giggle that parts your lips. You lean forward and rest your forehead against his shoulder. His warm palms rest against your lower back. It’s quiet for a few minutes and you’re more than confused as to why he’s allowing you to stand this way - anyone could find you at any point in time, embarrassing him for being so weak for an earthling.

You tilt your head in questioning, but it’s as if he knows the answer you wish to ask before you speak, “If anyone truly believes me to be weak for this, then I will strike them where they stand.”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you in front of everyone. I didn’t want to embarrass you, I just got so angry.” You shake your head and swallow thickly, running your hands down his abdomen to rest at the base of his chest plate.

He presses his thumb just under your chin at the soft spot of your throat, using the sensitive flesh to force your eyes back to his. Vegeta is surprisingly smirking down at you, a fire in his pupils that makes something spark in your belly. 

“You being willing to stand up to me in front of all of those others was surprisingly attractive,” Vegeta is closer to you with each word until only a hairsbreadth separates your mouth from his. “It’s part of the reason I followed you out here.”

“What took you so long?” you ask in a breathy voice, your eyes threatening to flutter shut at the sensation of his closeness.

With the gentlest of touches, he guides you until your chests are pressed firm to one another, hand against the base of your back. His mouth slots over yours and he’s firm but careful when he kisses you. Your palms rest against his neck, the tips of your fingers just barely brushing against the hair at the base of his head. 

You are the first to pull away, Vegeta trying to follow you with the tilt of his chin. He grunts at the loss of contact and the sound makes you laugh. You press your lips to his cheek, “I’m starting to freeze. Think we can take this somewhere else?”

Vegeta has you in a bridal carry before you can take your next breath. He’s flying in the air, your body held tightly in his grip, “I have an idea of a few places we can take this.”

You notice that you’re headed to his room at Capsule Corp, and your body lights up at the thought of what is to come next. 

a/n: hope you loved it!!!!!!!!! please let me know if you’d like to read more :) 

[autumn-foxfire]

Ohhhh that is interesting how we both have complains about the same ship but from different sides. N ye i think it does come down to softening one character up n bastardizing the other just to preserve some kind of soft bottom harsh top dynamic. In reality they both spend every single time they interact arguing with chuuya being more prone to yelling and hitting and dazai more prone to underhanded insults and manipulation so i really i wouldnt say either is a saint they are just bastards in different ways. Like i love chuuya so much but in a different character the lean towards violance might turn me off but that lean towards violence is accompained by him being loyal and caring and sometimes naive and its all wrapped up in a nice bow with his amazing character design so i cant help but love him.

In a way i think they are sorta like izaya n shizuo (though decidedly written worse) cuz even tho they act abusivly to each other you never really see it that way (except when its romanticized AND I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT FAN REACTION TO THAT SCENE), like you always get the feeling the other can handle it. They do have sort of a rocky equality in the partnership what with dazai having the tendecy to push chuuya down but chuuya always bites back so it never really feels like dazai is beating him down. Though chuuya sometimes does decide to trust him n gets burned by it but thats like just chuuyas trust.

Its interesting to me how i think they have on surface similar dyanamic to shizuo n izaya what with brute strenght brawler x chess master dynamic but out of those shipa i like izaya n chuuya more. Like i feel dazai started off good as a mentor figure but as the manga progressed he kept getting pushed more and more as this oh so smart master manipulator thats always 57566 steps ahead of everybody and it just started feeling like the story was catching on dazai ex machina which just kinda made him annoying and boring to me. Ive honestly had trouble staying caught up with the manga cuz it lost my intrest for a whole bunch of reasona n every time i read a chapter i have Opinions so i honestly wouldnt take myself as the most objective viewpoint to judge it by n i really dont know is that a thing that bothers other people or am i just kinda making it bigger then it is.

But lmao thats exactly why im looking forward to you reading it, i feel like you always have well thought through opinions. I will try to keep my mouth shut until you get to it god i just have so many Opinions about so many bsd things

I’m going to be watching the anime soon (I plan to start it again today because I’ve almost finished the other anime I was watching and I’ve been informed the episodes left are filler anyway *which I will watch but more in my own time*) so I really am looking forward to meeting both characters.

I’ve seen people compare their dynamic to Izaya and Shizuo in the past and now I can understand why if they certainly do share the same “brainless (most of the time at least) brawler and master manipulator” dynamics, however it seems weird how the fandom has seemed to make Chuuya the “submissive” one considering from what you’re saying and what my friend has told me, he seems to be the stronger and more violent of the two (meanwhile Dazai seems to be a beanpole that relies more on his mind). I guess it’s because he’s short and has long hair?! ...Though that’s just really dumb reasoning if it is T-T

Hmmm, I reserve any judgements myself until I watch the anime but I’ll keep what you’ve said in mind too! I know I said this earlier but I am looking forward to watching this anime considering I’ve mostly heard good things!

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 15

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- IF YOU WANT TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN THIS IS UPDATED, I THOUGHT I COULD START A TAG LIST SO LET ME KNOW. IF YOU’D RATHER BE NOTICED IN PRIVATE, MESSAGE ME TOO PLEASE!

- THERE IS SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER. not a lot. and not super explicit, but just a fair warning.

- this is mostly about Liv and Harry. I hope you still enjoy.

-is this story getting boring? i really really need to know!

- thank you so much for all the asks i get. you guys make me so happy. i cant even explain. thank you forever. i love you!!!

-tbh idk what i think of this chapter meh im not super proud i admit :X

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 15 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

When I woke up, I kept my eyes closed and reached out to find Niall but groaned when I realized I was alone. I didn't remember him trying to wake me up by shaking me or threatening me to do something embarrassing and I ended up thinking I must really have been out of it.

i tried to remember the whole conversation I had with Niall the night before and I shook my head with a sigh, my eyes still closed. I was an idiot. He looked good, he was sweet, and I had been so close to kiss him. That would have been an extremely stupid move. Not only would it ruin our friendship, but just a few hours before that, I was kissing Harry. It was a miracle I had initiated a first kiss, it would have been insane to think I could initiate a second one on the exact same night.

I rolled on myself, ending up in the middle of the bed, on my back, and my eyes fluttered open. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes and finally forced myself out of bed. I was impatient to see Niall but nervous to see Harry. What were we supposed to tell each other? What did that kiss mean anyway? What was the next step? Knowing Harry, these were all useless questions. He was laid-back and never really bothered with labels. I was the total opposite. Everything was so much better when it was clear and said. Still, I didn't want to rush anything and I had no intention to have that kind of serious conversation with him 12 hours after our first kiss.

I took a quick shower and dressed up before brushing my teeth and rushing downstairs. The house was extremely quiet and I frowned, looking through every open door to find someone. I ended up in the kitchen and my heart skipped a beat when I saw Harry making food.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a frown, my lips curled into a smile. "Where is everyone?"

"Oh shit, I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed," he let out as toasts popped out of the toaster. "I guess it's ruined."

I raised my eyebrows and chuckled, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well, I apologize."

"No, no!" he argued, shaking his head. "Should have worked a bit faster."

I watched him run around for a few more seconds and he finally put a full plate on the table, placing a very similar one right in front. I took a step closer as he showed me the chair with his hand. We both sat down and I leaned my chin on my hand, my elbow on the table.

"Are you trying to impress me with your cooking skills?" I asked with a smirk.

"Maybe, is it working?" he answered, his lips curling more.

"Maybe."

We started eating and I noticed how we kept glancing at each other. The nervousness I had felt earlier was gone but the thumping of my heart against my rib cage was still present. Perhaps I liked Harry more than I thought.

"So, why are we alone?" I asked after a few minutes of silence, looking up at him.

He did the same and chuckled, leaning against his chair and taking a sip of coffee.

"I sort of asked Niall to take everyone to the beach?" he admitted, scratching the back of his head.

He looked embarrassed and I liked it. I nodded slowly and tried to restrain a chuckle. I didn't even want to know how Niall reacted. I was a bit lost at the way he was acting recently. Sometimes, I felt like he wanted Harry and I to finally be together but some other times, I could swear he still thought Harry would break my heart. Either way, he was respecting his promise to not come between whatever Harry and I had and I was grateful for that.

"And besides breakfast in bed, what else did you have in mind?" I asked curiously, staring at him. "Or maybe you thought we'd stay in bed?"

This time, he laughed and I joined him. He pushed his plate away and took the last sip of his coffee before diving his gaze in mine again.

"Are you trying to get in my pants?"

I didn't answer but laughed and rolled my eyes. The truth was, I wouldn't be against some action. It's been so long since I felt someone's hands on me it was driving me insane. When we had kissed the night before, I could have sworn it had made my whole body throb. It anticipated what could happen and I felt like I disappointed it by not going further. Is that even possible? To disappoint your own body and mind?

"When's the last time you had sex, Harry?" I asked daringly, raising my eyebrows.

My questions surprised it at first and his eyes got bigger but after a few seconds, his lips curled again and he laughed.

"You're really one of a kind." he pointed out, licking his lips. "I don't know, I'm pretty sure I met someone when the tour started?"

I thought he knew how straight forward I was by then but apparently, I could still startle him. Even Niall was surprised by my behavior sometimes, so I didn't think anything bad of it.

"Are you trying to tell me you didn't get into anyone's pants since the tour started?"

"I wanted to but every time I could have, I preferred to stay at the hotel or in the tour bus with a cute brunette who chokes on jello."

"I'm never gonna get out of this one, will I?"

He laughed again and shook his head, moving closer to the table and intertwining his fingers, his hands on the table.

"No, you won't." he pointed out. "You want to know why?"

Every time Harry talked, I was curious to find out what he was going to say next. He knew how to make me smile, he knew how to make me melt, and with an other glance at his hands, I was pretty sure he knew how to make me cum.

"Why?" I wondered, raising my eyebrows as I tried to stop thinking about specific parts of his body.

"Because that's when I realized how much I liked you." he explained, the right corner of his lips curling fondly. "I mean I knew I liked you, I knew I wanted to kiss you, but on that night?" He shrugged. "I don't know, I realized it was more than a stupid little crush. It was more than infatuation. It was stronger."

The traits of my face softened quickly at his words. I was not even sure I deserved this, I was not sure I deserved him, and I felt extremely selfish because I knew I was going to go for it even if my mind was telling me not to. I was going to spend time with Harry, get to know him even better, and maybe even go further.

"You know exactly what to say and when to say it." I just pointed out in a whisper. "Maybe we should go in bed right now."

This time, a loud laughter boomed out of him and the way he closed his eyes was endearing. I stared at the cute crinkles on the corners of his eyes and my gaze traveled down to his perfect lips and straight teeth. Why did a guy so fucking perfect had feelings for someone plain and boring like me? I knew physical appearance was not a criteria, or at least I knew it was less and less important the older you get, but someone like Harry could get anyone. I was pretty sure there were many girls out there who would be a thousand times prettier, smarter and funnier. There were a thousand girls out there who had an amazing personality along with a perfect body. Why was Harry losing his time on me?

"We should go to the lake instead, what do you think?"

I chuckled and nodded, grabbing my mug and taking a sip of my cold coffee to hide the redness of my cheeks.

"Why did you ask me about the last time I had sex?" he questioned after a while. "Are you scared I cheated on you?"

I rolled my eyes again but shook my head.

"No, silly. Even if you had, it clearly wouldn't be cheating." I explained with a shrug. "I just asked because I haven't had sex in so long I can't remember when it happened last."

"That's... impossible. And sad. I mean, how can you not remember?"

If I racked my brain, I thought it was probably with the last person I dated but I just grimaced and shrugged again. It was not worth trying to remember, I was sure about it.

"Maybe I just don't want to."

"I can definitely understand that." He chuckled and nodded. "Okay, go get prepared, I'll clean a bit and we can leave."

He got up and I did the same quickly, walking to him and putting my hands on his shoulders. He had our two plates in hands and I just got on my tiptoes again to kiss him. I didn't make the kiss grow but I closed my eyes, feeling the softness of his lips against mine.

"Unfair." he breathed when I moved back from a few inches. "You did that when both my hands were busy."

I laughed and moved back down on my feet, raising my nose a bit.

"You can use your hands later, Harry."

                                                         ---

I dropped my stuff on the dark sand, putting my phone on my towel and letting my eyes roam on the lake as soon as we got there. Harry stood next to me but quickly took his shirt off, sending me an amused smile. I tried to keep my eyes up into his but ended up glancing down at his chest, making him laugh.

"It's a bit unfair, you know?" he asked jokingly with an other chuckle. "You keep this shirt on but I'm dying to see you without it."

I felt both my cheeks turn a soft shade of red and cleared my throat looking away. I was so insecure about my body that even being in a swimsuit bothered me, and somehow, I was sure he could tell. We both knew I was nothing like the girls he usually hangs out with, even less the girls he dates, and i tried to push away the thought that crawled evilly in my head. What if this was all a big fat joke? Or worse, what if he pitied me enough to give me that kind of attention, at least for a while?

"Are you scared of what i'll think of you?" he asked with a small frown, looking concerned. "Because you really don't have to."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, taking a step closer to the lake until my toes were in the water. How could I explain this to him without sounding desperate for compliments?

"All the girls here look amazing, I mean, have you seen Maya?" I just asked rhetorically, raising my eyebrows but still avoiding his gaze. "All the girls you've been with are models, Harry. I'm not stupid and I read gossips."

We remained silent for a few minutes and i held my breath when I saw him move from the corner of my eyes. He stopped behind me and he was so close I could feel the warmth of his body on mine, making my heartbeats accelerate. Gently, he brought his hands to my shoulders and lets his fingertips brush on the skin of my arms. I felt goosebumps appear on my skin but tried to remain motionless. One of his hands moved back slowly, pushing  my hair over one of my shoulders and I felt his breath on my neck.

"You don't have to take it off if you don't want to." he whispered, his lips barely touching my neck. "But I promise I love all of you."

I knew the word was random but I felt my whole body stiffen when he said 'love'. We were far from reaching that stage but I just kept quiet and licked my lips, keeping my bottom one between my teeth. He trailed kisses on my neck and my eyes fluttered close as I tilted my head to give him better access. I hadn't been touched in so long, whether it was sexually or romantically, and I was craving his touch more than I wanted to admit.

"Tell me if you want me to stop." he breathed close to my ear again.

I nodded and felt his arms wrap loosely around me. I sucked my belly in when his hands slipped under my shirt and all I could think about was that he was used to flat stomachs and firm bodies. When was the last time I actually exercised? Months ago, probably?

"Please, relax." he let out in a murmur. "You're perfect."

I felt his hands move up again and reach my breasts, bringing an intense throbbing between my legs. It was sad but I could already feel myself get excited and I cursed at myself mentally for that while I shut my eyes tighter.

"Do you know how many times I thought about touching you?"

His voice was slightly huskier and my lips parted at the sound. I didn't know where to focus anymore and when he reached up for the straps of my bathing suit, I knew I was fucked.

"You're not gonna fuck me here, Harry, are you?"

He chuckled low and I felt him shake his head.

"No, I just want to touch you."

I felt his fingertips run on my breasts and stop on my nipples and he took a step closer. He was so close I could feel his half-hard cock rub slightly and gently against my ass and it made me swallow hard. I hadn't touched myself since... since Niall caught me. My eyes opened suddenly and I glanced at my phone, moving slightly in Harry's arms.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked as his hands stopped moving over me.

I tried not to think about my best friend and I finally turned around, feeling his hands slip out of my shirt. I pushed my hair behind my shoulders and took a step back, sending him a smile.

"I think we should swim a bit."

He sent me an amused smile and shook his head as I chuckled.

"You're rare, Olivia." he let out loud enough to be sure i'd hear. "You know that, right?"

I laughed again and shrugged, turning around and getting completely in the water, immersing my head for a few seconds as I tried to calm the beatings of my heart. I liked Harry, then why did I always end up thinking about Niall? After all, I stood no chance with him while Harry was ready to let me in and give me a chance. A chance I was not sure I deserved.

When I got my head out to get air, I noticed Harry very close to me. He smiled at me fondly and pulled me closer. I expected the kiss as his warm lips pressed on mine and slowly, I brought my arms around his neck and felt his hands on my back, over my shirt.

"You know that half my bathing suit is just... hanging down." I pointed out as I laughed against his mouth. "Fortunately, I have a shirt."

"Or unfortunately, depends who you ask." he replied as we both laughed. "You can always just take it off. Ever been skinny dipping?"

I moved my face away slightly and shook my head.

"No!" I let out a bit too loud. "You remember we kissed for the first time yesterday, right?"

He sent me a smirk and shrugged.

"Would you rather take your time?"

My smile faltered a bit and finally turned into a loving one. I licked my lips and brought them back on his, wrapping my arms tighter around his neck. I could feel his wet hair tickle my shoulders and neck and I loved it.

"No." I admitted in a whisper after a few more kisses. "In fact, I want all this to go quicker."

He laughed a bit against my mouth and his pulled me closer, hugging me against his body.

"That can be arranged."

He brought me out of the water, still kissing me deeply, and I noticed our height difference when my feet met the sand again. i felt his lips detach from mine slowly and I groaned low, making him laugh.

"Are you always impatient like that?" he wondered, placing a towel around me , making sure it covered all of me before rubbing his hands on my arms to warm me.

"No."

My answer made his lips curl more and he held out his hand for me. I stared at it a few seconds before slipping my fingers in it. When he squeezed my hand in his and pulled on my arm to incite me to follow him, I felt my heart skip a beat.

"I'm special, then?" he questioned, glancing at me, as we walked back to the lodge.

"Perhaps."

I felt like the walk back took an eternity but when he closed the sliding door behind us, I brought my shoulders closer to my face, keeping the towel around my body. The AC was on and I shivered a few times.

"I think I'll go take a hot shower." I just said, sending him a small smile.

I left the bathroom's door open and he waited for me, sitting on the bed, as I tried to warm myself under the hot stream of water. I held myself against the wall and allowed myself to think about Niall and wondered what he was doing.

I got out and looked at the clothes I brought with me intensely and for a while. I was torn between dressing up completely or partially and I could feel my heartbeats throb all over my body. I was nervous and scared but I wanted this and I knew I would regret it if I didn't do it. There was nothing worse than regretting not doing something. I decided to just wear my panties and a dry shirt and breathed in deeply before getting back in the room. Harry looked up and his lips curled immediately at my sight. I liked the feeling and I took a few steps closer, stopping right in front of him. He looked up at me and we stared at each other for a few seconds.

"You have no idea how bad I wanted to join you."

His words made me smile and slowly, I put one of my knees on the bed next to his thigh before doing the same with the other, straddling him. I brought my hands up to cup his face and kissed him deeply. I felt his fingers graze my naked thighs and whimpered low in his mouth.

"I wouldn't have minded." I confessed in a breath, letting one of my hands slip in his hair.

He tasted just as good as the day before and his lips were sweet, the taste of caramel still lingering on his tongue, and I ended up thinking that I would be fine with tasting this all my life. The thought scared me and excited me at the same time, making my heart jump so high in my chest that I felt it in my throat.

I gripped the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head with difficulty. I thought it would make him laugh but he looked up at me and his eyes roamed on my face. I felt slightly anxious but I didn't move as I watched his lips part slightly.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked softly, placing his warm palms on my thighs. "We can wait you know, as long as you want."

"I really don't want to wait." I said without hesitation, feeling my heart beat harder.

My heart swelled and I had to swallow the lump in my throat when his hands reached for the bottom of my shirt. I tried to concentrate on the skin of his chest and the form of his tattoos but all i could think about was his hands bringing my shirt up slowly and the way his impatient eyes ran on me. My shirt ended up on the floor and I held my breath again when his hands brushed slowly on my sides.

"Fuck."

He pushed my hair gently over my shoulders and let his hands travel down to my breasts again.

"Why didn't we do this before?" he whispered mostly to himself.

My lips curled a bit on the left, remembering that I had asked myself the same question when we had kissed the night before. After all, I had the right to be happy, didn't I? And trying to make things work with Harry was a step closer to my happiness, or at least, something that seemed pretty close to that. 

I bent down to kiss him again and he immediately parted my lips to kiss me deeper. He pulled me closer and turned us around as I chuckled again his lips and ended up under him, spreading my legs to give him more space. I could feel him getting harder as I moaned in his mouth and his lips ran down my neck, making me shut my eyes tight as he ground down on me, noticing just then that he had changed his wet bathing suit for a pair of dry shorts. There was nothing I wanted more at this exact moment than for him to take them off but I gripped the sheets on the bed with one hand while the other slipped in his hair again.

I felt both his hands slip down my waist as two fingers moved on the sides of my panties, pulling them down so slowly I thought it would never end. He moved up on his knees, his body still close to mine, and I pushed my panties away with my feet as he laughed against my mouth, probably at how impatient I was.

"We have all day, no rush." he pointed out, grabbing my upper lip between his and sucking gently on it while his hand slipped between my legs.

"Oh. Oh god."

I shut my eyes tight and arched my back despite myself as two of his fingers slipped on my slit before sliding inside me. My grip on his hair tightened and I bucked my hips in an attempt to feel his fingers deeper.

"It's been way too long." I repeated again.

My eyes shot open and I held my breath when his thumb rubbed on my clit a few times. I knew he could read how desperate I was just by looking in my eyes but he didn't smirk. He just looked at me as his fingers slipped in and out of me, slowly at first and quicker after a while, his thumb still brushing skillfully on my clit, not skipping a beat.

"Harry, if you don't stop i'm gonna..."

"Don't hold it."

I felt a rush to my brain as an orgasm hit me hard, shaking my body beneath him. I would feel embarrassed to reach my high so quickly if I wasn't busy enjoying the incredible feeling invading my whole body. I kept my eyes closed but felt my pupil flutter behind my eyelids as a comfortable warmth spread all over my body.

His lips reached mine again and i smiled, kissing him back. I thought he would want to keep going but he finally moved away and sent me a fond smile, brushing his nose a few times against mine, giving me an eskimo kiss.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, sitting up and passing his hand in his hair. "I could use a snack."

I looked at him with surprise as he bent down to grab something on the floor and hand it to me, holding it with two of his fingers. I smiled shyly when I noticed it was his shirt and took it. As I put it on, it reminded me that I still had some of his clothes that he let me borrow on the last day of tour and I would have to bring them back to him. This shirt, though, had no holes and it smelled like him. I fucking loved it and I felt myself blush at that thought.

"I thought you'd want to..." I didn't finish my sentence and just chuckled, shaking my head and pressing my lips together.

"I told you." he just said in a low tone, moving closer and pressing his lips firmly on mine. "We have all day."

[rorynne]

Time Lost (Rewrite) Ch 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader

Summary: An accident during a mission sends you back in time to the second world war. There you enlist the help of Peggy Carter, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes to find the object that can send her back.

Warnings: not much bucky but he will be more present going forward

Word count: 2.7k

A/N: This is a rewrite of an OC fic that I have been writing and been wanting to turn into a reader Fic. Im unsure if I will be continuing the OC fic currently, I may just transfer it completely to my reader Fic. Currently 6 chapters are up of the OC fic, and I shall be posting a rewritten chapter every few days on here.

Masterlist

Prologue

Storm clouds hung heavy in the sky as you sat in the back of a jeep bound for the current SSR base in Italy. Almost two years of searching and there was barely any information on the bell to go off of. It was beyond frustrating. At this rate, you were starting to wonder if you would ever get back to your time. Granted, all of the documents you brought back were dated 1943 or later, chances were development on the bell had only just begun. And if that were the case, hopefully, it wasn't going to take them seventy years to finish.

Your general lack of ability to change anything also proved to be frustrating as hell. Only Peggy knew of your true origins. They had both decided against going around saying you were from the future, god only knew that would just get them both locked up. However, as a result, that meant you were far less likely to be believed any time you tried to keep an event from happening if you lacked any evidence. you never thought you would sympathize with Cassandra.

“I was beginning to wonder when you'd show up.” A familiar voice teased as the jeep came to a halt. You smiled as you saw Peggy waiting to inspect the arriving convoy. Peggy had managed to make the last two years far more bearable, becoming quick friends with you.

“You know me,” You said, jumping out of the back of the jeep. “I like to keep everyone guessing.”

Peggy smiled as you approached. “Perhaps a little too much.” She accused. “How was Paris?”

You shrugged and canted your head, “Beautiful city, great food, interesting history.” You crossed your arms. “Too bad I wanted to shoot the majority of my company.”

“I trust you were able to resist the temptation?” Said Peggy eyeing you in amusement.

“Figured I would let the boys have the nazi killing fun for now.” You sniffed indignantly. “Kind of regret it now. At least then I would have something to account for coming back.”

“No luck on the bell?”

“No luck on anything.” You corrected, “A whole lot of Nazis but no hydra. It seems the intel we had was either old or false.”

Peggy nodded at one of the soldiers carrying a crate from a truck. “You think they’ve caught on to us?”

You chewed your cheek. “I'm not sure. I can't say they knew I was coming, or I’d be dead. Or at least so I would assume. I don't see any reason why they would keep me alive knowing I'm a spy. But at the same time, there wasn't a single member of hydra there. I've never seen that before, usually there's at least one.

Peggy narrowed her eyes. “If we aren't being fed false information then somethings happening.”

“And whatever it is, I think the ones outside of hydra are just about as in the dark as we are. Hydra’s making a play, a big one.”

“A faction split?” Peggy offered.

“It's possible. But if it's that, they've got to be pretty confident that they can win.” You scratched the back of your neck, entirely unsure of what to make about any of it.

Peggy nodded, “If what the surviving 107th are saying is true, it seems they've got just that.” Seemingly content with the convoy, Peggy started towards the SSR command tent. “Your history books say anything about this?”

You followed close behind. “About the 107th? Not much. They get captured, Captain America comes in and saves the day singlehandedly. Dunno how much stock I put into to all that personally. Lotta things about the Cap and hydra got covered up after the war by shield. Especially in the history books.”

Peggy frowned, walking into the tent. “I can believe it. I've seen Rogers in action, unfortunately, the army seems content parading him around America singing about war bonds.

Your eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me, what?”

“Peggy gestured to the poster hanging from a support beam of the tent. “Captain America,” it read, “on tour: Allied bases across Europe and North Africa.” You bit your lip to keep from laughing, this was not how you ever imagined meeting Captain America.

“They, they really have him singing?” You said, fighting to keep a straight face.

“Dancing at the very least,” said Peggy, not sounding the slightest bit amused. “Bloody waste if you ask me. He’ll be arriving and preforming here tomorrow.”

You shook your head, still staring at the poster. “I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

The captain's performance was, frankly, every bit as hilarious as you expected. The rest of the crowd, however, didn't seem to agree. Instead, they demanded the dancing girls come back on stage. You grimaced as the famous Steve Rogers walked off stage, noticeably embarrassed. The Captain America you knew was a hero, a legend even. But this was before all of his exploits before he saved the world more times than you could count. He barely seemed to be the same man.

You held back for a time, figuring he would want space after such a humiliation. But, as the rain that had been threatening for two days now began to pour, you went searching for him. Surely there was something that pushed him out of the theater and into heroism because he was far better at the latter. Whose brilliant idea even was it to have him dancing around in the first place?

You found him with Peggy, taking refuge from the rain under a wooden awning behind the stage. Peggy's face was stern as you neared, “And these are your only options? Lab rat or dancing monkey?”

“War hero seems like a fun third option.” You cut in, earning a raised eyebrow from Peggy. “Or, you know, literally anything else.”

He looked at you with apprehension and confusion as Peggy took a patient breath. “What Agent L/N means, is you were meant for more than this.”

You extended a hand to him. “Sorry, my humor isn't for everyone. Y/N L/N.”

He nodded, shaking your hand. “Steve Rogers.” He sighed as his attention was pulled to an arriving red cross truck. “These men look like they've gone through hell.”

You crossed your arms, “They've gone through war.”

“These men more than most. They're what's left of the 107th.” Peggy agreed and you winced. What these men had seen seemed to make hell seem heavenly.

Steves' eyes went wide. “The 107th?” He was up and running to the command tent before Peggy could even respond. You and Peggy shared a glance before chasing after him through the rain.

Col. Phillips sat signing what were presumably condolence letters at his desk in the back fo the tent as steve rushed up to him. Phillips looked up just barely before returning to the letters. “If it isn't the star-spangled man with a plan. What do I own the pleasure.”

“I need the casualty list from Azzano,” Steve said with unexplained urgency.

Phillips looked up from his papers with a glare. “You don't get to give me orders.”

“I just need one name,” Steve continued, “Sergeant James Barnes of the 107th.” The name tugged the back of your memory, you had heard it somewhere before, in a museum maybe? That was right, you recalled the handsome picture of a soldier engraved in stone in the howling commando exhibit at the Smithsonian. He had been the one that died. Steve lost his best friend. You gave him a pitiful look as he argued with Phillips, you had always thought that Barnes became a commando before dying.

“But I don't expect you to understand that because you're a chorus girl.” Phillips's harsh words pulled you out of your thoughts.

“I think I understand just fine,” Steve responded coolly.

“Then understand it somewhere else, if I read the posters right you have somewhere to be in 30 minutes.” Phillips moved passed him to look over maps with another officer, making his stance on the conversation clear.

“Yes sir,” Steve said, studying the large map board in front of him, “I do.” He turned on his heels and rushed out of the tent, leaving you and Peggy in his wake.

“I’ll go after him,” Peggy whispered to you. “We need maps and supplies, whatever you can think of, then meet us in the hangar as soon as you can.”

You nodded letting Peggy follow after Steve. You stood there for a moment, pretending to study the map board before quickly and casually taking a smaller map off Col. Phillips desk and slipping it into your coat. With a nod to the nearest officer, you walked out of the tent and into the rain.

Already thoroughly drenched from your previous two treks thought the rain, you didn't bother trying to shield yourself from the downpour as you made your way to the nearest storehouse. Knowing Peggy, they were probably going to get court-martialed with whatever she had planned, so might as well go the whole hog and steal any supplies Steve might need.

You grabbed a gunny sack as soon as you entered the storeroom and started filling: A compass, multiple rations of food, a blanket, flashlight, rope, matches. Anything and everything that you could think of that he might need should he get lost. ‘Cause God knows, the way he was charging off, he damn well didn't consider any of this.

“Hey!” A guard called to you. “You aren't authorized to take any of this!”

You slung the sack over your shoulder as the guard approached. “Youll find that I am, private.” You bluffed. “Under official SSR orders. Unless that is, you want to waste Col Phillips time clearing it with him first?” The guard blanched at the mention of Phillips's name.

“No, Ma’am!” He said quickly, stepping out of your way. You gave a sharp nod before escaping the warehouse. you started toward the Hangar before pausing and looking at the stage. A devilish smile came over you as you changed your course.

The backstage was empty when you entered, likely all the actors and dancers were still on break, leaving the costumes unguarded. Because, really, who on earth would want to steal them, besides you. You hummed the tune to ‘star-spangled man’ as you picked up a helmet with a large white ‘A’. One thing was for sure, steve was going to save the 107th in (extremely questionable) style.

Peggy, Steve, and Stark were waiting at the hangar when you arrived, helmet in hand, a grin plastered across your face. “You know, for a star-spangled man with a plan, I'm wondering if you've ever had a plan in your life.” You teased, handing him the helmet and sack of supplies.

Steve gave you a look as he fiddled with the helmet, “In all fairness ma’am, you haven't known me long.”

“First impressions mean a lot, Rogers.” You shrugged, moving onto Peggy. “Though I’m not sure if this plan is much better than no plan,” You said in a low voice only Peggy could hear.

“We don't have many other options at the current moment.” Peggy defended as Steve and Stark boarded the plane. “Unless you somehow convinced Col. Phillips to give us an army.”

“I'm not a miracle worker.” You sighed.

“You said he was able to do this single-handed, we just need to have faith.” Peggy took a deep breath, even she didn't seem completely convinced.

You nodded, “Time to prove the history books right. I’ll stay grounded to try to keep the colonel distracted. Go.” You gave a mock salute as the plane took off, leaving you behind.

Keeping Phillips occupied until the plane returned proved to be quite easy. He was already extremely busy, and with some strategic playing dumb and careful excuses as to why you were doing Peggy's work, he was none the wiser until the plane landed the next morning. Then the shit hit the fan.

Steve didn't come back. Two weeks after the flight to Austria and there was absolutely no sign of him either. Phillips was furious, you did everything in your power to avoid him, though you knew it wouldn't be long before consequences came. There was a good possibility that your chance to get home was lost if Steve didn't show up.

You sat on the ground against a tree, picking at your fingers. At this point, you didn't even care about getting home. Instead, you couldn't shake the guilt of getting an avenger killed before the avengers were even a thing. The guilt of it alone made it difficult for you to even sleep at night. you would have gone into Austria yourself to find him, if Phillips hadn't expressly forbidden it, and kept an armed guard on you 24/7 as a baby sitter.

“You look like a child that's been sent to the headmaster,” Peggy said looking down at you.

You nodded, “Feel like it too.”

“Do you regret helping him?” Peggy asked, voice tight.

You sighed and looked up at her, “I regret not helping him more.” You admitted, “I teased him about not having a plan, and then didn't even try to give him one. I could have followed that dumbass into Austria myself.” The young soldier acting as your baby sitter shifted uncomfortably. “Stop acting like you've never heard a woman fucking swear Simmons.”

“Y-yes ma’am” He stammered and you rolled your eyes.

“We did everything we could for him,” Peggy reassured, ignoring Simmons. “He would have walked to Austria if we didn't help him.”

You laughed weakly, “I’ve done stupider things.” You paused for a beat, biting your lip, “Peggy, I, I’m sorry about this all. I could tell how much you liked him.”

Peggy swallowed, “Yes, well. I'm glad he wasn't stuck as a dancing monkey.” She cleared her throat, “I'm going to speak with Col. Phillips if you would like to join me.”

You scoffed, “No, I'd rather him find me if he wants to chew me out.” Peggy nodded and left you sitting under your tree. No doubt Phillips would be in a bad mood. He was finally calling off the searches today, officially labeling Steve Rogers as KIA. God, if only you had just gone with him as back up, at least then either he would be alive or you’d be too dead to care.

You threw your head back in frustration as hoots and hollers came from the front of the camp. Soldiers began running to the gates, curious, you joined them. You gasped when you saw what the soldiers were congregating for.

A hundred some odd men came marching through the gates, Steve Rogers, Captain America, leading the way. Cheers rippled through the crowd as the group walked through the camp, stopping in front of Col. Phillips. You slipped between the men in efforts to get a better view.

“Hey!” The man next to steve yelled, making you freeze, surprised, as you saw the familiar handsome face of a man you had only seen in museum exhibits. “Let's hear it for Captain America!” The crowd roared, men throwing their caps in the air, whistling, yelling, clapping. You found yourself clapping too as Barnes’s eyes locked onto yours for a brief moment. He smiled faintly as he caught sight of you, a sparkle of something in his steel-blue eyes as you shifted your attention to finding Col. Phillips.

You moved through the crowd in search of him, only to find him missing from it. you soon found him exactly where you expected him to be, the SSR command tent. you wore a sly smirk that would have read ‘I told you so” Had he bothered to look up at you. Instead, he focused on packing away his desk. “Don't think for a moment that just because Captain Rogers came back that you're off my shit list Agent L/N.”

You frowned, “He saved at least a hundred and fifty men. I played a part in that.”

“And that’s exactly why I'm not court martialing you for theft of government property.” He said as he tucked away a folder into a box. “Tell Agent Carter to pack her things, we’re returning to London for debriefing first thing tomorrow.”

You scowled, “Yes sir.”