#can't believe I spent two hours on this
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You ask you shall receive @tobytheeggo @bluelolblue
#john wick#santino d'antonio#riccardo scamarcio#can't believe I spent two hours on this#also tumblr was trying to upload this for like four more hours so yeah
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Honestly, I could talk about Lucky Patch for hours. I didn't expect to like their dynamic when I played UTY for the first time, yet here we are.
To be honest, I did not like Flowey prior to Undertale Yellow. To me he was merely a side piece to the overall story of Undertale, I disregarded him and focused on the Dreemurr family which in hindsight does include him, just not in the way that I could comprehend back when I was younger. UTY really helped me in understanding his character and realized just why he was so compelling. Now he's one of my top favorite UTDR characters. I still hate this stupid flower though, I wish the worst for him /j /pos.
And Clover, I did not expect to attach myself to this child so much. Clover's personality is rather hard to get unless you were really looking in between the lines and other easily missed dialogue or in-game narration. Thankfully, I am the kind of player that remembers really small details, especially when it comes dialogue and narration. I do admit that I project to Clover a lot, my fics are a testament to that. However, I did enjoy them as a character and protagonist in their own right, removing all biases will not change that. They are one of my comfort characters and favorite characters of all time.
Combining the two, we get Lucky Patch. I do see why most people I've seen in the fandom might not like this dynamic, it's not for everyone especially if you aren't into peeling off layers upon layers of a character. Though, I am really happy that the Lucky Patch enjoyers are much more present here on Tumblr. If you don't look closely or take things at face value, Lucky Patch is a toxic dynamic built on lies and cruelty. Even when looking further, you cannot deny that aspect. But what makes them compelling is that this dynamic is mostly driven by the characters and their psychology. Especially Flowey's. If you do not understand the character, you will most likely miss the intricacies that make them, them.
Clover and Flowey's relationship span across all timelines and routes, so taking their relationship from one route only is not the way to go. That's the reasoning to the most common complaint I see when it comes to them, most non-Lucky Patch enjoyers only see their relationship from one angle or route. Most of the time, they take it from the vengeance route or neutral. My reply to that is that their relationship develops as the routes change. From vengeance, neutral, to pacifist, their dynamic changes in accordance but you can see why when you look closely at the context being given to us throughout their interactions in each route. At the end, you will understand why Flowey lets Clover go. Why he spew his little speech at the end of the true pacifist end.
In other words, I love these tragic doomed toxic codependent flowers so much and I will commit atrocities to defend them.
#I like them a lot if you couldn't tell#This isn't really an analysis more like just laying the ground works on my feelings towards the two#Honestly I don't see lucky patch as inherently platonic or romantic. They're very much a secret third thing to me#I swear I will post my analysis of them but today is not the day#I can't believe I spent an hour on this and it doesn't even make sense. Welcome to my blog where I post my insane and incoherent ramblings#To the void without any regards if they're understandable#lucky patch#flowey#undertale yellow#undertale#clover#uty clover#🍀🌼#🍀🌼 ramblings#🌼🍀#uty
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Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist
#Anyways I'mma put the actual inane ramblings in the tags#Medic and Engie make me so ill every time I think about them for a while I feel like tearing into things and biting people and throwing up#How something like that can exist completely defies me#I don't know how something that perfect can exist#I'm typically a multi-shipper and while I still kinda am I honest to god don't really care to write other ships#Not cause they ain't good (they are pretty damn good) but because Engiemedic is just on another level#Like dammnnn!! that's why I've spent so long writing a fic about them!#I can't fathom it honestly how characters like that can exist#They're like a slightly warped reflection of themselves#They're both intelligent mentally ill lunatics with no morals whatsoever#The only thing is that Engie is marginally better at hiding it#If you go into headcanon territory than WHOO!! OHH DAMNNN#Like what gets me the most about Engiemedic is how they're so similar#They think and exist on the same wavelength#In tune with each other. Their neurons braided like wires#If I start talking about how the machine and the flesh are not opposites but rather one in the same we gonna be here all day#I just can't...believe the ship exists#Like man how does this happen#You want humour? Goofy wacky experiments and silliness of them violating several conventions#You want angst? Hell yeah they've got plenty of it#Fluff? Buddy I start wailing and sobbing if they accidentally brush hands while working on stuff#I could write about them for ages and not get bored they can fit in every circumstance#They make me SICK they make me CRAZY I love them so so much#They would do anything for each other#I look at what they have and I can feel like I understand what love is#I need to write more oneshots and minifics about them they're so flexiable and fun#Can't wait to do parallels with them in these upcoming chapters#Either way GODDDDD I love these two so much I could go on for hours about them#especially if I'm allowed to talk about headcanons#sp-rambles
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Part 4 of my Greek family tree thing. I took a break from it because it was getting kind of dull and it required a lot of wikipedia searching. But I've come back for part 4. The least I can do is discuss the first 12 Titans briefly. So here we go (note: this took me nearly two hours to write):
Gaia and Ouranos had lots of children (including the Cyclopses and the hundred-handed ones) but their most famous children were the 12 Titans. Six male, six female. In order from oldest to youngest (well, with Oceanus as eldest and Kronos as the youngest. I don't know the others) they were:
Oceanus: Oceanus seems like the most gentle of all of Gaia and Ouranos's sons. Being the oldest, perhaps Oceanus had a maturity the others didn't. Oceanus didn't participate in the attack on his father (he was the only one of the six male titans who didn't participate in the attack), and he also didn't any sides during the first titan war. Perhaps this is why there's no indication Oceanus was punished in any significant way. Unlike his brothers, I'm assuming he got amnesty for staying neutral.
Tethys: Tethys would end up as Oceanus's wife. They were both Titans of the water. According to her wikipedia page, Tethys nursed Helios and Selene for her sister Theia. Her and Oceanus may have also raised Hera while Zeus was fighting Kronos. Wikipedia mentioned something about that.
Hyperion: Titan of Light, he is responsible for most of the gods that represent the cosmos. Him and his wife Theia had three kids: Helios (the Sun), Selene (the Moon) and Eos (the Dawn). Also, Hyperion was guardian of one of the pillars that held up the sky. Him, Crius, Coius and Iapetus were the four Titans in charge of holding up the sky. Hyperion got the Eastern Pillar, making him Titan of the East.
Theia: The Titan in control of sight and vision. Theia is responsible for making precious metals like gold and silver shine the way they do. She made them precious, I suppose you could say. Her and Hyperion were clearly a good pair. Light and Vision, two things very commonly associated with each other.
Coeus: Coeus is the forgotten titan. He's almost never mentioned in the Pjo books, his wikipedia page is much smaller than his brothers, Coeus is clearly very forgettable. Maybe it's because he was one of the middle kids in the titan family. Coeus was also the guardian of the Northern Pillar of the sky, making him Titan of the North. He may have also been the Titan of Knowledge. Apollo, Artemis and Hecate are his grandkids.
Phoebe: Wife of Coeus, Phoebe is also associated with Prophecy. Before her grandson Apollo, Phoebe was the guardian of the Oracle of Delphi. She gave it away to her grandson on one of his birthdays, the same way her sister Themis had given it to her years ago.
Crius/Krios: Titan of the Stars, one of his names (Krios specifically) was supposedly also the Greek word for Ram. Crius is another one that's easily forgotten, but at least he was briefly seem in the Pjo series (that's more than what Coeus got). Crius is also the Titan of the South, holding up the southern pillar of the sky.
Mnemosyne: Titan of memory, Mnemosyne stayed neutral in the Titan war (or fought for the Olympians). We know this because Mnemosyne is also the mother of the nine muses, who were born from Mnemosyne and Zeus.
Iapetus: Titan of Mortality and Craftsmanship, Iapetus was the Titan of the West. He may be seen as humanity's oldest ancestor. To the point where his four children (prometheus, epimetheus, atlas and menoetius) were seen as embodying some of humanity's worst aspects.
Themis: Titan of Justice and Law. Themis would go on to marry Zeus and become his second wife. Fun fact: Themis is still referenced a lot today. Whenever we refer to lady justice, we're probably talking about Themis.
Rhea: Mother of the gods, Rhea plays an important role in the history of Olympus. Also, let's be honest. Rhea probably had an awful life with a husband like Kronos.
Kronos: The youngest of the Titans, Kronos was also the worst of the lot. Kronos was probably the Titan/God of time (unless you think him and Chronos are two different people). Kronos may have also been the god of the harvest. But honestly, he'll always be known for castrating his father and trying to eat his children. Oh, and probably being an abusive husband with that track record.
#I can't believe how long this took#someone had to read this now#after I spent two hours writing it#when I probably could have been doing something more productive#sigh...#percy jackson#rick riordan#greek mythology#pjo hoo toa#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo series#percy jackson series#my thoughts#riordan universe#riordanverse#riordan verse#heroes of olympus#hoo
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the four separate people putting my blorbo as 'jesus christ' in the tags and independently collectively getting my ass.. wig.. gagged... etc.
#the only answer anyone has put tbh. and like yeah. ur not wrong. i have others too!!! but man was that certainly a few months I subject#you all too.... a phase... an era... i still can't believe that like... i would get home from teaching my class of undergrads and then open#my laptop and spent two hours pirating the less popular adaptation of a musical at least once a day for over two months#sometimes i would watch it twice. and every single time I had to send isaac snapchats
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tidied my apartment because I'm afraid of my landlord being mad at me if there are things on the floor that don't look like they belong there and I don't want the person coming to fix my plumbing to tattle and I have accidentally created a Terrible Scary Open Nightmare Space can't wait for repair to be done so I can throw some random shit on the floor and feel safer again
#I have the instincts of a spider I guess idk#I belong in crevices and under rocks#I can't believe I spent two hours singing a song about how if I didn't get this done I would die to convince myself to make THIS happen
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maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...
#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open#i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed#AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA#i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE#I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table#yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching]#okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante#to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1#despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat#(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of#it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc#[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest])#so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic#since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh.#it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them#its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not.#BUT#later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag#and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN'#and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)'#and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D#it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in#any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other#also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move#because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc#well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg)#im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c#(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters!#i love u H2O#cruddy rambles
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chapter 14 of disaster coming tomorrow!
#i can't believe we're more than halfway through ahhhhhhhhhh#am i going to say that every time?#maybe so#disaster#btw i love this song so much please go listen#i've used it as fic inspo so many times ;lakjsdfljasldf#but it is PERFECT for where these two are at rn#all the songs are btw. i spent HOURS going through songs and making a playlist before i had anything written#shout out to jon for listening to me scream about songs and lyrics and random little ideas for weeks before i ever even wrote anything <3#FEELING EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT GOTTA GO BYE#Spotify
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Ok real talk, looking for advice from other DnD’ers... at what point do you just nuke your character?
Rant/more info in tags.
#the group I play in (not the group I run) aka my first venture into DnD#they told me to play as a bard.#no one told me how f*cking hard it is to try to manage a bard#let alone to be USEFUL as a bard in a mid level experienced campaign with power gamers and lots of dungeon crawls#after slogging my way through the first ten or so combat scenarios and realizing I am quite literally useless#I found fun again by just becoming chaos unhinged#I touch things I shouldn't#i drink things I shouldn't#I basically live by the motto 'eh we all die sometime' and just do things to spice up the game/make things interesting#but any time there's combat I position myself outside the fighting somehow#most recently everyone went inside to search a property and I stayed outside petting the ponies#because I know I can't be useful and would only be in the way/prolong things#but comments have started getting made that honestly make me want to not play at all#our last game I sent a PM to the DM asking if my character should mysteriously disappear or kill herself#because I could tell that everyone was annoyed with me and it just instantly stopped being fun#I spent the remaining two hours in silence with my mic muted crying and waiting for the game to be over#I talked to the DM and he said that there are lots of things I can do#I reminded him I have only successfully dealt damage once in the entire campaign and it was like 2 points#I told everyone I just want to stay out of combat so I'm not in the way#I believe I phrased it 'I'm going to go be useless somewhere else'#but everyone is mad when I don't fight#and frustrated when I do because it takes so long and I never accomplish anything#and I know we're nowhere near the end of the campaign#I like my character a lot... I just want to stay out of combat until I level up enough to be useful
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The more I think about it the more I feel like an idiot for not realising before that Megamind is in many senses a version of Cyrano, not even after reading (and rereading several times!) the play
#Even beyond the bisexual charged love triangle and the love triangle in which two of the points are Megamind#Even beyond Roxane. Even beyond the big head and big nose. Even beyond the sending messages and the duels and the verbal duels#Even beyond the montfleuresque beginning. Even beyond the Le Bret vibes of Minion and the de Guiche/Valvert vibes of Hal#Even beyond that restaurant conversation that is so so close to Roxane and Cyrano's conversation in Arras#Like... I once spent hours (far longer than the duration of the film) going on about how everything about Megamind is performative#and how almost everyone is aware of that to the point of the entire town feeling almost like a theatre#That's Cyrano alright! The ending of Act 1 is extremely Cyrano but the ending of Act 1 is extremely Megamind too#I really can't believe I didn't notice considering how ehm not normal I am about Megamind irl#Truly if I needed any proof about being stupid... haha#Anyway my sister's friend sent her a picture teasing me about Megamind and I was reminded of the fact again#Thank goodness for McAvoy's acting and his Megamind laughter#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Megamind#Cyrano de Bergerac
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#Vent ahead#vent#vent tw#I made a report against my ex. And nothing happened so I made a report about the report with the higher authority.#And the people in the higher authority have been so lovely. I truly believe we will change processes for the better.#But I'm so tired of this.#They just happen to me all over again.#Every single time.#I am nothing like I was when I left. I am nothing like I was when I was with them. Nothing is the same.#I am an adult now and I work full time and I have moved out.#I just spent an hour on the phone discussing the report about the report not getting handled appropriately.#I spent two to three hours after that making an email with all the evidence for it written down.#I am doing none of this for personal justice it's all for the others who might also be being abused.#I am doing this for those who can't. Because I can.#I'm an adult I'm articulate I can fight for myself and others.#But gods if I'm not that kid in his car again downing half a bottle of whiskey.#I need a drink#tw alcoholism#tw abuse
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So back in high school I was forced to take economics. That's not necessarily a bad thing, I suppose. Money is the blood of our society, so learning how the commercial circulatory system works can be useful. That I hated every second of it was, to some degree, a personal issue. I can admit to that.
But.
My teacher spend a class showing us the entirety of Greed with John Stossel, a 1998 special on the nature of "greed" and why even though it's objectively a bad thing, it's actually super awesome and the sole reason for the existence of everything we know and love. I should note that this was in the year of lord 2008, a full ten years after the special was made and just around the time of that huge US economic crisis that many people are still trying to crawl their way out of. It sure was a choice to choose this particular moment in history to show your class of impressionable students the joys of trickle-down economics.
The piece stuck with me. I've never seen Wall Street because I hate Capitalism and America, but I do know the quote "Greed is good" because it's quoted in Greed with John Stossel a number of times. As nearly two decades passed, I would bring the piece and the quote up whenever I happened to be talking about how the United States conditions its people to believe in self interest above all else, from a very young age. But I could never remember what the special was actually called, and many people thought I was just misremembering Wall Street, which again I've never seen and don't plan to. But I did start to wonder if I was misremembering things. Did my inherent bias against the American Dream and subsequent evolution into an adult who was recently told they "might be kind of an anarchist" perhaps cause me to think of this obscure 90's special as worse than it was?
I'm pleased to announce that no, it did not. I finally tracked the thing down (it's on YouTube in six 7-minute parts) and was just as horrified and angry about it as I was when I was a teenager. Some of my favorite terrible things from it include:
John Stossel calling scientists "greedy for knowledge" and artists "greedy to create something new."
John Stossel talking about some experiment where people could take dollars bills from a bowl, but every ten seconds if there something left, the money would be doubled, and using the group's initial inability to not just grab all the money immediately as proof that people are inherently greedy all the time - despite the fact that they later decided to work together to take the money in shifts to make sure everyone got some, which Stossel decided was proof that only greed can inspire teamwork.
"Children who are born into poverty are fascinated by capitalism" said by a guy who randomly decided to leave his import/export business to teach business math at "the worst school in New York City." Stossel then added "We tend to think of capitalism as something only the privileged practice, but it's actually the great equalizer." This was then followed by objectivist philosopher and Ayn Rand fanboy David Kelly saying "It's the poor who need capitalism the most." At no point did any of these men ponder the root causes of poverty.
The entire section with Jeff Ellis, who owns a for-profit lifeguard training business that (at the time, not sure if they still) actively stalks and films their lifeguards at random while they're on the job to make sure they're not slacking off. The point of the segment is that you get better quality lifeguards from a for-profit program than from a non-profit, like the Red Cross. Never mind how underfunded non-profits are, or the fact that anyone will perform better when they know they're being spied on. This is one of the few sections I vividly remembered from high school, for some reason.
Pretty much everything that comes out of David Kelly's mouth.
Computer Chip CEO TJ Rogers laying off hundreds of employees despite his company making a profit and being worth 2.8 billion dollars, then telling us in his mansion next to his private vineyard that, "I build it, I own it, I deserve it," followed by "I could take what I have and never have to work another day in my life," then finally, "...the world's better off when I make a dollar than when I don't." We're supposed to be on his side, because he created new wealth.
John Stossel saying to the audience "Frankly, I didn't see any of you turning down your last pay raise" like it's some kind of profound wisdom. Joke's on him, the only pay raise I've ever gotten without changing positions was $1, which I wasn't even given the choice to refuse.
The continued insistence that the richer these CEO's get the better off "we" will be, as if Stossel is a.) one of "us" and b.) presenting any genuine evidence to support this claim beyond "creating more wealth and jobs is a thing."
TJ getting mad at Ted Turner because he gives money away, saying he should instead take his money and "invest it, you can't help people any other, better way than to invest it and to have the companies and buildings and plants that are created with his investment create wealth and jobs and products for other people."
Ted Turner asking John Stossel why the rich can't create jobs and give money to those in need, to which Stossel answers, "because you and Bill Gates are so good at creating jobs, and isn't that the best gift?" which causes Ted Turner to walk off as everyone on set laughs at him.
"So the next time someone tells you you're greedy, tell them that greed created civilization, is that so bad?"
I realize I just basically recapped this entire monstrosity rather than listed the highlights. I also realize the futility of getting angry at something that's over twenty-five years old. I'm less angry about the special itself, and more angry that an educator tasked with teaching economics felt the need to devote an entire class to this, but failed to teach any of us how to do our taxes. Or about where our taxes go. Or about the literal financial crisis that was happening around us. But then, if you truly believe that greed is good, then discussion how greed just completely destroyed everything isn't something you'd want to touch with a ten foot poll.
My mother later met my economics teacher at some sort of school event. She knew how much I hated this class and this teacher, but was polite about it. My teacher commented that I was "a bit of socialist" but then said, "most are at that age."
I hated economics class.
I still hate that economics class.
Greed is not good.
#rant#I'm not sure why I needed to get this out of my system#I can't believe I spent more than two hours giving John Stossel the time of day#I accidentally missed a lesson I was supposed to teach while watching this#now I'm lower on the tutor tier list and in sanity#economics#capitalism#corporate greed#education
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Me&E, every couple of years: we're going to do a matching tattoo!
Always me&E: *talk about it for months and months, choosing the tattoo artist, the place we want it, and when we're going to do it!*
Always ma&E: *do actually nothing for no reason*
Rinse. Repeat.
#there isn't a specific reason we don't actually get them?? like before it was because we were minor we lived on the opposite side of the-#-country than it was because we didn't have enough money than she got a flatmate who was a tattoo artist and i spent those two years not-#-visiting because uni and the hours and then she made a comment about not being serious enough about us and we laughed for like three-#-hours straight because it was already eight years of friendship where the fuck does she believe i could go is a mystery to me#anyway last time i was there she introduced me as her platonic soulmate and y'know fuck people who says she can't commit or make her feel-#-less bc she decided not to have relationships for years. got a little out of context lol#hopeful before we hit the grave we are going to find what we want to get tattoed#rambling rambling rambling#personal~
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Office Hours
Logan Howlett/ Wolverine x Mutant!FemReader
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 3.8k
Summary: A few months into working back at the mansion and Logan still can't keep his hands off you. A/N: This is vaguely tied to my other Logan fic "No One Knows…" but not at all required reading. All you need to really know is reader is a returning X-Man that can control Earth/ rocks and is codenamed Dozer (Short for Bulldozer) Warnings: S M U T, medium plot??? but mostly just porn, established relationship, under desk blowjobs, office sex, light dom/ sub, a single spank possessive Logan (Someone needs to put me down)
AO3 if you prefer to read there
_______
The morning light pours in through the windows of your bedroom. Logan holds you close against him in bed while you, less than enthusiastically, try to squirm out of his grasp.
A few months back into your old life at X-mansion and you can confidently say it was the best decision you’d ever made in a long, long time. All the kids returned to a brand new environmental science teacher and a newly reconstructed mansion that somehow looked almost exactly the same— give or take a few changes to the gardens.
You’d missed this, you missed being part of the X team, whether it was as an X-Man or just a teacher. For the first time in a long time, you felt like you were making a real tangible difference in people's lives.
Yes, you desperately wanted to return to your roots and start over— but he was also a nice perk to all the chaos.
Your relationship with Logan was just as new as your employment in Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. He reeled you in like a fish on a hook. Whatever the two of you had, it was nice. You think it had been a long time since he had something like this too. Someone to care for. Someone to please.
Neither of you could keep your hands off each other.
It was too early for ‘I love you’s’ or to declare something like moving in together, but he already spent most nights in your room as it was. If he didn’t spend the night he’d find you in the early morning just to hear you moan his name. That boy was determined never to let you sleep— not that you’re really complaining.
You’d never had a lover like Logan. Someone so… starved. He craved your touch, rambled on about your scent, and held you on the edge for what felt like hours. It was all new and some parts of it, admittedly, a little weird, but fuck was it exciting.
You’d started a new life for yourself, more or less. Started over, more accurately. And he was there to soften all the blows. You hope you did the same for him.
You can’t believe you thought he ever had ulterior motives about you when you came back. Once you found out you both had more similar pasts than you’d realized, you were sure the only thing he'd want was information from you. How glad you were to be wrong.
Victims of the same cruelty but you were both different. You still had your memories. Your identity. He didn't.
You vowed to help find out who he was, and that seemed to mean more to him than anything— but it was a slow process. Old information and long abandoned facilities. Still, you had each other through all of this and that helped the pain, just a little. Facing your demons together.
Right now, however, Logan was your only tangible demon. He still had you trapped in bed and late for class.
“Just a quickie,” he purrs, nibbling at your ear.
“I have a class to teach in 20 minutes. You should have gotten here earlier,” You muster up any strength you have against him, “And it’s never quick with you.”
“Or you just don’t want it to be quick,” His mouth finds your bare shoulder, already marked with week's worth of love bites from him. You can’t deny the trill of excitement it sends through you.
This fucking man.
You want to. Lord in heaven, you really, really want to. Sometimes this being a responsible mentor thing got in the way.
“Logan…” You push lightly against his chest. It’s not much of a protest, really. None of your weak-willed squirming was.
“Okay… okay,” His grip around your waist finally loosens and you reluctantly get out of bed. He gives your ass a playful spank as you do.
“You’re insatiable, you know that?” You scold him with a smile as you dig through your dresser for anything that was clean.
“Got a good reason to be,” He grins, resting his arms behind his head and stretching out over the bed. You can���t help the blush that creeps into your cheeks. Logan never missed an opportunity to compliment you.
You, a little reluctantly, pull on a pair of jeans and one of his white shirts. Slowly but surely all your laundry was getting intermingled to the point of no return. That and you know he always liked when you wore something of his. You don’t think any of your own tee-shirts were clean anyway.
Yeah, it’s probably time to do laundry.
You top it off with a loose black cardigan to seem somewhat teacherly. You gather your folders with today’s syllabus. You had three classes today. Logan usually had two— if you could you really call PE and survival basics a class. The kids usually just roped him and Kurt into playing flag football with them. It was adorable in its own Logany way.
“I’ll see you out there, Professor Logan,” you give him a peck on the forehead before shimming on your shoes.
“God, don’t ever call me that again.” He chuckles, covering his face with his forearm.
“Would you prefer daddy?”
His hand immediately drops, “Don’t tempt me, darlin’.”
You’re at the door now, giving yourself one last moment to admire the perfect man sprawled out in your bed.
“Don’t sleep in too late,” you open the door.
“See you out there, toots.”
______
There are only a few more warm days left in fall and you refuse to let them go to waste. You always liked holding classes outside anyway. This was Environmental Science after all. As an earthmover, it always felt natural. Feeling the actual ground under your feet made everything easier to teach in a way.
You’re teaching the different types of erosion this week. The class is gathered on the grass on the edge of the pond as you hover different rocks around them. Examples of river-smoothed stones, bed clay, and a few from the Grand Canyon you’d brought in from your personal collection.
You’d never thought of yourself as the best teacher but the kids seemed to at least enjoy the theatricality. You knew dirt. You knew the earth, and that seemed to be enough.
You hear the PE class run out onto the other side of the lawn, Logan dutifully following behind them. You don’t even need to look to feel his eyes on you. You're not sure if you're irritated by the distraction or think it’s a little cute he wants to be near you.
Well, if he’s going to distract you and your class, you might as well distract him. The kids had started a game of frisbee golf, something his full attention didn’t need to be on anyway. Logan always joked he was just a glorified babysitter. You take off your cardigan when you feel a small gust of wind. His head immediately snaps your direction when you do.
He’d told you before he liked the mix of your scents. The more animalistic part of him liked it anyway. He always seemed ashamed of it, despite your insistence you didn’t care. You could never truly understand, sure, but that didn’t change your feelings for him. Besides, you didn’t mind feeding the animal every once in a while.
You’d reached the end of your class period and quickly dismissed your students, reminding them of the homework as they scurried back into the mansion. You remain outside, cleaning up the small mess your lesson had made.
You still feel Logan’s eyes on you. You can’t help the excitement his gaze stirs in you. Logan did something to you no other man had ever done— he made you feel desirable in ways you’d never experienced.
It was an incredible turn-on, to say the least.
You feel your panties slowly start to wetten. You see a shift in his posture in the distance. You smile, bending over to pick up the loose papers you’d left on a nearby bench. You pause there far longer than you needed to— just a small tease but you know it’s something that’ll drive you crazy. He always said he liked you in these jeans the most.
You feel his eyes burning into your back the entire walk to the mansion. You can’t help but smile.
______
You're leaning against the front of your desk, looking over tomorrow's lesson, when you hear his signature booming steps hurrying down the hallway. It’d been an hour since your last class ended. He enters the office, closing the door behind him immediately.
“Professor Logan,” You greet him teasingly, leaning back against the desk.
He says nothing as he stalks towards you with heavy steps, crashing his mouth into yours. You pull him in as he inserts his body between your legs. His mouth is hungry against yours— desperate even. His lips trail down to your jaw.
“You think you’re cute, huh? Prancing around in my clothes, showing off your ass, gettin’—”
“I’m very cute,” you giggle as he nips at you.
He growls, pulling you up to lead you back to the desk chair. He liked it when you sat on his lap. It was both of your lunch breaks. You’d always spend them together, though usually not in your shared office.
Charles required everyone to have office hours, even Logan. He fought it every step of the way until he finally relented to just sharing yours. He was almost never here. He didn’t have a reason to be— well unless you were there. His desk sits across from yours just as bare as the day it was put in. Yours, on the other hand, was quickly cluttering as the school year went on.
“Still worked up from this morning,” Logan admits as he nips at your lip, “Need you, sweet thing.”
Absolutely insatiable.
“Poor boy,” You tease, your hands slowly trailing down to his obnoxious belt buckle. “I’ll take care of you.”
You always liked to tease him more than you’d care to admit. He’d get so worked up over the smallest things. You were always happy to indulge him… every fucking time.
You sink down to your knees, pulling his jeans with you. His cock bulges out against his boxers, already hard and waiting. You palm at him, giving him a rough squeeze through the fabric. He hums in approval. God, he always felt so good.
There’s almost a sigh of relief when you pull him free. You give him a few rough strokes before your tongue follows, trailing up from his base and swirling around his tip, pre cum already leaking free. His rough hands grip your hair as you lavish his cock with your tongue.
You pause at the tip, placing a single feather light kiss before taking him completely into your mouth. He chokes out a strangled moan, doing his best to stay quiet. Luckily, the walls of the mansion were thick.
The grip in your hair tightens as you find a rhythm.
“T-that's it,” his voice is shaky, dripping with pleasure, “Just like that. Good girl.”
He always praised you. Whether giving or receiving, he always made sure you felt seen.
A part of this excited you so much. It was scandalous, having him splayed out like this at your work desk, doing your best to suppress the moans that brew in your throat from the thrill of it all. You loved making him fall apart. This was just as much for him as it was for you. You were both having fun. Both acting like giddy, horny, little teenagers.
His grip in your hair shifts, and you feel him tense under you. He can’t be close already? Before you have time to ask what’s going on you’re being shoved underneath your own desk. You want to scream what the absolute fuck?! before you hear the office door being clicked open.
“Logan?” It's Scott’s voice.
“What?” Logan bites out, leaning over the front of the desk to conceale you completely. Thank god Charles always insisted on these massive solid oak desks.
“I’m just— You’re sitting at Dozer’s desk,” Scott stammers out.
“Had something I needed,” he quickly lied.
You’re cramped into a wooden box basically, one of the walls being made out of thick muscled legs with a heavy cock still hanging between them. You were playing a game with Logan, might as well make it more interesting.
“Have you seen her?” Scott asks, “I needed—”
“No.” Logan only grits out, “She’s probably down in the—”
He cuts himself off the moment your hand grasps his cock again. You can’t help but smile when you run your tongue back up the velvet length. He can’t move his arms because that would expose you. He can’t move his legs because there’s not enough room with you between them. He’s stuck here while you torture him in the sweetest way possible. You don’t miss the way his cock jumps when you take him back into your mouth.
“She’s where Logan?” Scott, blissfully unaware, prompts him.
“I don’t— I don’t fucking know,” You swear you can almost feel him shaking with the effort to keep his voice steady, “Why don’t you go fucking look for her then, huh?”
There isn’t as much room to move your head as you’d like, so you let your tongue and hands do most of the work.
“Well, can I just get on her computer?” You hear Scott take a step closer. Oh no, “I just need a—”
“Piss off, Summers!” He practically growls it out. “You need her then go fucking find her.”
You hear Scott scoff as he takes a step back. To be fair, this was completely in character for the two of them. It was doubtful Scott suspected anything. You reach up and give Logan’s balls a gentle fondle while you worship his tip with your tongue as silently as you can.
Finally, you hear Scott retreat to the hallway.
“I don’t know why she’s with you, Logan. I really don’t.” He spits before slamming the door behind him.
Logan doesn’t waste a second once the door is closed again, pushing the chair back and grabbing your face roughly. His cock falls from your mouth with a wanton gasp. You must look like a mess but can’t bring yourself to care.
He just holds you there for a moment, your mouth just inches away from his cock. His eyes have glossed over with lust. He loved this, you know he fucking loved this because you did too.
“You’re trouble,” he says, pulling you both to standing, “You’re so much fucking trouble.”
He turns you around and bends you over the desk immediately, a few pencil cups shaking with the force. He yanks down your jeans a little rougher than you’d like but you still kick them off the rest of the way. Your underwear still remained in place. He kicks your legs wider and trails a hand up your back, pressing his palm down between your shoulders. His other hand drips between your legs, a finger rubbing over your clothed pussy.
“Fucking soaked through already?” he purrs. “You get wet sucking my cock, baby?”
“Yes.” It practically comes out as a plea. Well, it’s only fair he’s toying with you now. Your legs are almost shaking in anticipation.
You squirm as he starts to rub the damp fabric directly over your clit. His hand on your back presses you down harder, pinning you in place. He’s doing what you did to him— in his own way. Trapped at his mercy.
He pushes your underwear to the side, two fingers running through your slick folds a few times before delving in. You bite your lip to suppress a moan, barely successful in silencing yourself. He curls his fingers, back and forth as he works his hand up and down. Anyone could walk in that door at any moment. Logan would stop if he heard anyone coming again—right?
“You know what you do to me?” His voice is ragged, almost pained, “Fuck, do you have any idea?”
His pace is speeding up and your restraint is slipping, but there’s nothing you can do to get out of this. And, fuck you don’t want him to stop either. You’re completely his right now.
You finally let out a wail when rips his hand out of your cunt and slaps it across your ass. His touch stays there, gripping the stinging skin, sharp pain quickly melting to the pleasure that was racking your whole body. He takes his other hand off your back. You don’t move, your stomach stirring in anticipation.
It feels better than it should when his hard, massive cock runs over your soaked pussy. He’d dialed up all of your nerves to eleven. You involuntarily ach back into him like a fucking bitch in heat.
“Oh Christ, why are you with me…” he lines himself up, “That’s what Summers said, right? He doesn’t know why you’re with me?”
“Logan—” You attempt to speak up before the air in your lungs vanishes when he thrusts inside of you in one jarring motion. He stays there a good moment, grinding his hips into your ass, gathering himself. God, he was so fucking deep. He draws out and slams back in again. You hear the desk creaking in protest this time, several items falling off.
He leans over you, hot tongue trailing up your spine before nuzzling his face in next to your ear.
“I know why,” He starts to roll his hips against yours. His imposing body and magic dick were taking over every sense you had. God, you wish you could scream. “It’s because you know no one else can fuck you like I can. Can take care of you like I can.”
He nips at your ear as he finds a pace, tiny low grunts escaping in rhythm with his hips. This was just as much about dominating you as it was about being as close to you as humanly possible. Mixing your scents and desires together until the line is blurred between the two. Yes, Logan fucked you unlike anyone else had, and your certain better than anyone else ever could, but he also loved you harder than you ever knew possible.
Loyal to a fault. It’s instincts, he always said. You always hated when he compared himself to an animal, but in a lot of ways it's just part of who he was. He seemed past trying to deny it and embrace it in his own way. Let the beast free, so to speak.
“Tell me,” He growls into your ear, “Tell me who makes you feel this good.”
You struggled to form the single-word answer, but it eventually came out, whined and shaky.
“Y-y-you,” you swear you’re drooling, “O-only you, b-baby. O-only—” You trail off, likely losing all brain function to the intoxicating filth of it all.
“That’s right. T-that’s right,” he chants a few times like he’s fucking praising himself for it, “Only me. You’re all mine. I’m all yours.”
You’re not sure if it’s a gasp of surprise or pain that escapes you when he lifts you both. He holds you against him, still fucking you while you’re both standing. You’re forced to stand on your tiptoes, your hands grasping onto the forearm around your chest for any sense of balance. You weighed nothing to him. He’s still fucking you senseless. He’s holding you both up and still fucking you senseless.
You swear you go blind when his other hand snakes down to your clit.
“Shoulda stayed in bed this morning,” His stubble rubs against your cheek, “Wouldn’t have to fuck you like this if we— shit— if we had time this morning.”
“L–Logan, I–I—” You start to warn him but can’t manage to get it all out. Nevertheless, you’re sure he knows. He always knows when you’re close. You feel it, the mounting pressure at your core. Sweet, precious relief.
“I know, baby. I know.”
It hits you like a train, hard and almost completely by surprise. The hand around your chest immediately comes up to clamp around your mouth. You scream against his palm while he keeps fucking you through your orgasm, practically using you like a goddamn sex toy at this point.
He mutters out a string of curses while he attempts to maintain his equilibrium— and eventually fails. He collapses back into the chair behind him, dragging you with him. He almost slips out. Almost. He holds you close against his chest, hips completely still against your ass as he pulses rope after rope into you.
“Good girl, good girl,” you hear him muttering into your neck like a prayer.
Your haggard moans into his hand eventually fade into one long heavy sigh, finally allowing yourself to relax against him. You feel his body unwind as well, his previously firm hand over your mouth coming to stroke your cheek. His lips lull around your neck, placing sloppy kiss after sloppy kiss wherever he could reach. He was always so gentle after sex. Those hands that were so rough just a moment ago gently glide over your skin. You always find comfort in their heft.
“Do you think anyone heard us?” you finally ask, leaning your head back against his.
“Fuck ‘em if they did,” he nuzzles himself right under your jaw. Close— he always had to be so close.
“Charles is gonna fire us if he ever finds out,” you bring your hands up to your face, rubbing into your eyes just a little too hard.
“You can’t fire an X-Man.”
“Teachers, Logan, we’re teachers.” Ah good, the mortification was settling in just in time to ruin the moment. Fabulous.
“Stop it,” you swear you can hear the smile in his voice.
“He’s gonna read our minds and see what absolute animals we are and he’s gonna fire us.” The irony that you're saying this out loud while Logan is still fully inside you in your shared office is not lost on you. You feel his chest bouncing against your back, chuckling lightly at your dismay of your surely oncoming termination. You can’t help but laugh along with him, just a little.
You eventually untangle your bodies and fish your pants off the floor. Maybe you had time for a shower before your next class. Christ, you need one. Logan wasn’t the only mutant with advanced senses in the school and the last thing you need is teenagers starting a rumor mill about two teachers fucking in their office. Still, when you look back at Logan you know you’d do it all over again regardless.
Whatever this was with him, whatever you’d started, you know you can’t stop it. The thought should terrify you, but for once you’re not afraid.
You reach out and grab his hand, “Wanna grab lunch?”
“Thought you’d never ask, darlin’.”
#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#wolverine#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine smut#Logan smut#x men
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cw: face sitting, fingering, squirting, slight inspection kink
"c'mon sweets, let me get a good look atcha." logan's voice rang in your ears.
you had been so good for him all day. he asked for one day of relaxation before he had to go on another mission tomorrow with the team. so you made sure that he was well fed for the day, had a pack of cigars ready for him and a new bottle of whiskey in the kitchen.
the two of you spent the day in his room, lounging around in each others arms while he reads and you sit curled up next to him. after hours of you playing with his hair, he decided to treat you for the rest of the evening.
which brings the two of you to this moment where logan's got you bend over face down ass up and spread open for his viewing pleasure. it's obscene the position he has you in. folds spread and glistening in the low light of his bedroom. your sweet arousal holds him hostage.
"please, lo." you beg, arching back even more. "been good for you all day."
"i know you have, baby." he purrs rubbing the back of your thighs. "such a good girl for me."
those few words could've started a puddle underneath you. he's lapping up the slick running down your leg. running his hot tongue over the plush skin.
"prettiest fuckin' pussy i've ever seen." he groans, smacking your ass playfully.
logan adjusts himself under you, letting you sit on his face. he pushes you down on his awaiting tongue, lapping your arousal up like a thirsty dog.
"use my face, princess." logan pleads, holding you down on his face.
"d-don't wanna hurt you, lo." you whimper, feeling his nose bump your clit.
he chuckled before grinding you down harder and licking at your entrance. the second the muscle makes its way past your gummy wall, you can't help but start moving faster on his face, using his nose for your own pleasure.
"oh, f-fuck." you moan, lacing your fingers in his hair and tugging.
logan knew your cunt like the back of his hand. he spent time memorizing every little thing that made you fall apart.
"i'm so c-close!"
a loud squeal slips past your lips when his fingers replace his tongue. fast paced and rough, just the way you like it. filth pours from below, "practically swallowing my fingers, sweetheart."
right on the edge of pleasure, logan flicks his tongue over your bundle of nerves while he nudges your cervix. your hips have a mind of their own as the move across his face, searching for a euphoria that only logan can give you.
a sudden warmth floods your tummy in a way you've never felt before during sex.
"w-wait, lo!" you squeal, afraid of losing control of your own fluids. "need to s-stop!"
despite your words, your lower half only contradicted them. thighs wrapped nicely around logan's head while your nails scratch at his scalp. he's moaning into your cunt, already knowing what's coming.
"gonna- ah!"
a splash on slick covers logan's face, your thighs, and the sheets under you two. he couldn't believe his sweet girl could turn into a fucking fountain just from his fingers. this only further spurs logan on, needing to lick you clean. your thighs tremble and soft gasps pour from your glossy lips.
"need a break, baby." you whine, giving his hair a sharp touch to pull him off of you. or else he would be there all night.
"just a break." he says, moving you down to sit on his abs which only further overstimulates your soaked cunt. "cause i'm nowhere near done with you tonight."
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#james logan howlett#wolverine#logan howlett smut#wolverine smut#deadpool and wolverine#hugh jackman wolverine#wolverine angst#wolverine one shot#wolverine x oc#logan howlett angst#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett fanfiction#logan x reader#logan howlett x you#logan wolverine#old man logan#marvel cinematic universe#marvel#mcu#x men#x men logan#x men movies#x men comics#hugh jackman#old man!logan#old man logan x reader#wolverine fluff
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buy me presents, baby!
Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Summary: The holiday season is packed enough as it is. On top of it all, Joel has a cute little girlfriend he just can't seem to resist spoiling...
Warnings: 18+ Explicit Smut Unprotected p in v, literally one spank, riding, missionary, Joel's a bit of a tease, pregnancy mention (no ones actually pregnant, don't worry) No outbreak au, modern au, viagra mention, unspecified age gap (mid/early-20s reader in mind), Rich older bf Joel!! I don't know how Hinge works sorry.
Word Count: 2.7k
Based on the song buy me presents by Sabrina Carpenter
Masterlist
The local mall was a buzz with what you swore was the entire state of Texas. Everywhere you turned, someone was brushing by you, mumbling an excuse me or just grunting an apology.
"Maybe we should just go home...There's so many people here." You say as you stand off to the side.
"Oh c'mon we drove all the way here, don't you wanna take a peek at some things, darlin'?"
Joel's warm southern tone sent a tingle of warmth down your spine. He was always so charming, that's how he won you over in the first place, his charm.
You'd stumbled across his Hinge profile six months ago. Your friend, Jess had jokingly set your profile to look for men over ten years older than you.
"Trust me, Dilfs are a whole different ballpark, girl!"
You hadn't believed her, after all, who would want some old half-bald, blue pill-taking man sitting across from them at dinner?
Things of course changed late one Wednesday night when Joel, 40 popped up on your screen. Not only did he have all his hair (and teeth!) but damn it he was so hot.
For lack of a better word, Joel was the perfect gentleman. He'd picked you up for your first date right at 7, opened all the doors for you, and even pulled your chair out for you to sit at the restaurant. Conversation had flowed so easily with him, that you'd almost forgotten you had just met the man across from you.
Fast forward a few months and here you were walking the mall with the head and Co-owner of Miller Construction Co. Joel's big hand cradled yours as he opened the door to Sephora.
"Said you needed some more of that lip balm you like right? Let's get it now."
You nodded and let him pull you into the store. He always did this, pulled you into stores so you could look at things. Of course, that wouldn't be a problem if he wasn't always buying half the things you picked up to admire. Hell, one time you were at Macy's with him and made a joke about the adult Spiderman onesie that was being sold, two days later it was sitting in your lap in just your size.
Jess had told you to enjoy it, to let him buy you everything your little heart desired but you couldn't help but feel guilty. You already spent most of your time sleeping at Joel's place, showering there, and eating his food. What were you even working for if you couldn't buy a measly lip balm for yourself?!
You pulled the one you wanted from the shelf. You'd run out a few days ago and your lips had begun to crack without it. Your eyes fell down to look at the price that was beside the scent
Twenty-four bucks?! That was nearly two hours of working at the shitty secretary job you had down at the local library! Whoever was setting prices at this company needed a serious reality check.
Joel's back was turned as he was staring at an array of brushes, mumbling that no one needed that many things for their face. Perfect! You could sneakily set this back on the display and-
"What're you doin'? Isn't that the one?"
Shit.
"Well yeah, but..."
"Then put it in the basket."
Joel's outstretched arm came up to present the little black and white basket he'd taken from a worker when the two of you entered.
"I just think that twenty-four bucks is too much for a little tube of lip balm. I think I'll just switch back to Carmex or Burts Bee's."
"Darlin' I'll buy it." Joel gave you a warm smile, "Let me spoil you."
"No way! You just bought me dinner!" You shake your head, thinking of your leftovers that sat in the backseat of his car.
"And now I wanna buy you a lip balm," Joel says taking it from your hands to put in the basket.
"Nope. We're not getting it." You say, pulling it from his hands and tossing it back on the shelf, "Let's leave."
Joel protests but lets you pull him from the store and back to the car.
Three days later...
Joel never liked shopping. He'd always been the kind of guy who bought the same shirt in multiple colors just because it made sense in his mind. Even when the company had taken off and he and Tommy were living comfortably instead of paycheck to paycheck, he hadn't really found an excuse to indulge and spend a lot of his hard-earned cash. Sure, he'd dropped a lot on a new car after his poor pickup truck had gotten rear-ended two years ago, damn teen drivers. Then, there was the new roof that his house needed last summer. But, both of those were easily paid off and Joel often found himself with a bank account higher than necessary.
It never bothered him, after all, it just meant retirement would come quicker, and if he ever had kids they'd have a lot of inheritance. Yes, Joel was happy living his simple lifestyle. Of course, that was until he met you...
You were just perfect in Joel's eyes. From the moment he saw you on that dating app Tommy had stuck on his phone, he'd known you were the one for him. Initially, he'd felt weird when he'd swiped on you, after all, you were so young compared to him. His fears though, they'd vanished the moment you started laughing at his lame jokes, adding your own even worse ones to the conversation. Yes, you were just perfect for him.
Now, it was December, the holiday season was in full swing and Joel found himself itching to spend some of that cash that'd been sitting in the bank for ages. He'd spent the last six months trying to keep the spending to a minimum, you always scolded him despite enjoying all of his gifts and he'd hate to make you feel uncomfortable. But after today when you'd put that little lip balm back on the shelf, he'd felt sad for you. Joel hadn't missed your small frown when it clattered back onto the display next to the others. You wanted that lip balm and, you were going to get that lip balm.
It was as if he was a man possessed. Three hours had passed since he'd walked into this mall and his arms were begging to feel a bit sore. Sure, he'd bought you the lip balm but before he knew it, he was wandering into all the other stores, looking for things that'd make you smile and cover his face in kisses. As he loaded the bags into the trunk a bit of worry crossed his mind. Had he gone overboard?
No, there definitely could be more...
December 25th, Christmas Morning at Joel Miller's
The warm scent of coffee had your eyes slowly pulling open. You groaned and pulled yourself out of bed, fumbling to pull Joel's shirt on before finding your discarded panties from last night. Whoever told you that older men needed Viagra to get it up clearly hadn't met Joel.
You padded down the steps to see Joel hunched over the stove, flipping pancakes while his beloved coffee maker brewed.
"Morning." You chirp, wrapping your arms around him, and resting your hands on his soft belly.
"Good morning." Joel's deep voice filled your ears
You greedily let your hands slip under the waistband of his plaid pajama pants. Joel lets out a hum and scoots away from you.
"Keep that up and we won't be eating or opening gifts til noon."
You roll your eyes and go to pour him his coffee.
After a delicious breakfast, Joel pulled you into the living room where your jaw nearly met the floor. Last night when you'd passed out in bed after the third round, there had been six presents under the tree, three from him and three from you. Now there had to be over triple that.
"What did you do?" You ask, spinning around to face Joel.
"What? I'm not allowed to spoil you?" Joel asks, a boyish grin on his face.
"It's like you bought the whole damn store and put it in your living room." You point out
"Not the whole store, just some of it." Joel laughs
Nearly an hour later, you were sitting in a pile of wrapping paper and bows.
"Alright, last one," Joel says, pulling a small gift bag with a snowman on it out.
You sigh in fake exhaustion, "Hand it over, cowboy."
Joel snorts and hands you the bag which a moment later you find has the lip balm you'd put back the other day.
"Went back and bought it for ya. Got a little distracted though..." Joel smiles
"Oh, only a little? Is that why there's lingerie and a new pair of boots sitting in boxes next to me?" You laugh, "Not to mention you even bought me a new frying pan."
"Yeah, just a little sidetracked s' all," Joel says, looking at the many different things he'd found for you.
"Thank you, Joel." You smile earnestly, "It's your turn now."
"Why don't ya model this for me, darlin'?" Joel asks, pushing the red babydoll dress towards you
"But what about your presents?" You pout, "I put a lot of thought into the one with the green paper."
"Give me a fashion show, it can be part of the gift." Joel coerces.
"Ugh, you're lucky you're hot, Joel." You huff, scooping the fabric up and heading off to the bathroom.
Joel lets out a long whistle as you reenter the living room, "Well, would you look at that?"
"Pervert." You scoff as he pulls you into his lap
"Not allowed to appreciate my girl?" He asks, pressing a kiss to your cheek
"You just wanted to see what my boobs looked like in red lace." You point out
Joel gives you a grin, busted.
"Nah, what makes you think that?"
Joel's lips capture yours and his hands secure themselves at your waist. Your resolve loosens as your hands curl against the soft skin of his chest.
"What about your presents?" You ask breathlessly when he pulls back
"Got everything I want right here." He says, "Let's go upstairs, this old man needs a bed if he's gonna fuck you silly."
Joel's hands are back on you the moment he kicks the bedroom door shut. His lips find yours again as his hands begin to pull the straps of your outfit off your shoulders.
Your back hits the mattress and one of Joel's big hands snakes down between your thighs.
"Still wet from last night." Joel laughs into the kiss
"Mmm, I think it was from earlier. Seeing you shirtless, cooking for me was hot." You admit
"Yeah? Y'like me cookin' for ya?" Joel asks
"Course, who wouldn't wanna see a hot old man cooking pancakes for them on Christmas?" You tease
Joel delivers a sharp slap to your inner thigh, "Not that old, darlin'."
"Sure you aren't."
You push at his shoulders and straddle him, loving the way his hands gently rest on your thighs.
You hum in delight as his hips lift and he pulls his pants off, finally exposing the rest of his body to your greedy eyes. Joel's lips ghost over your nipples, teasing them with his tongue as he lifts you up so he's notched at your entrance. Eager, you move to push him in but he stops you.
"What do ya say, baby?" Joel teases
"C'mon Joel..." You groan, "I want it."
"Ask nicely then," he clicks his tongue, "Go on,"
You huff a small breath of frustration and Joel's hands squeeze your hips.
"Please," You mumble
"What was that? This old man needs some help hearin' ya." Joel prods
"Please, fuck me, Joel." You groan, wiggling your hips as the head of his cock teases your hole.
"S' what I wanted to hear," Joel says, pressing a wet kiss to your neck
Joel's loud groan mingles with your girlish one as he lets you go to take him in. Your mind goes blank as your hips begin to rock. Joel's hands roam your body as he pinches and teases the sensitive flesh of your chest.
"C'mon girlie, give it to me." He encourages
"I'm trying." You huff, the feel of your burning thighs was slowing you down
A loud slap rings out followed by a yelp from your mouth. Joel's big hand rubs at the reddened mark on your soft skin.
"Don't worry, I gotcha, sweetheart, let me."
Your world turns as Joel lays you back down on the soft mattress, pushing your knees to your chest you're practically folded in half as he pushes in again.
"Fuck me..." Joel groans in pleasure above you.
"Already am." You laugh breathlessly
Joel shakes his head but you see the smile playing on his lips.
Rough thrusts steal your breath away as Joel begins moving his hips in earnest. The softness of his belly meets yours as he leans over you and presses his lips to yours. A hand pushes into the middle of your shared mess and a finger toys with your clit. A whimper escapes your lips as Joel groans when you tighten around him.
"Gonna let me come inside ya hmm? It'd be the perfect Christmas gift for me darlin'..."
Your brain is mush as Joel's finger plays with you while his cock relentlessly slams into you. Your stomach tightens as he continues.
"I-I'm gonna-"
"C'mon let it out, soak my fucking cock." Joel commands
As if he's magic your body yields to him and you come. A strangled groan leaves Joel's lips while your eyes slam shut.
"Good girl." Joel coos down at you, his hips never slowing.
"Joel!" You gasp, the pain of overstimulation beginning to ebb at your brain.
Joel lets out a soft moan of his own, his brow furred in concentration.
"Where?" He asks
"I-Inside" You gasp
Joel smirks, "Yeah? Gonna take it like a good girl? Let me knock ya up, pop out a brat for me in nine months?"
"Yes!" Your hips arch off the bed when his hand comes down to grind at your clit.
Joel's hips stutter against you and a loud moan escapes him as he fills you. Gentle thrusts follow as he comes down, dropping your legs as he does.
Joel flops down beside you on the bed, his chest heaves a bit as the two of you catch your breath.
"Y'okay?"
"Always." You say looking over at him with a dopey grin on your face
"Wanna go finish those pancakes?" Joel asks
You laugh, Joel was such a typical guy, thinking with his stomach, "You just fucked me and threatened to knock me up but your first thought is pancakes?"
"Well, I was gonna get a washcloth and clean ya up first, if that matters," Joel says
"Wow, what a gentleman." You scoff
"Glad you think so." Joel mumbles
You lay next to him in silence, listening to his breathing and watching his eyes flutter shut in satisfaction.
"What if we did?" You ask
"Did what?" Joel asks looking at you, "If you're talking about round two, I'll need a few more minutes, I'm not twenty anymore."
You slap his shoulder and roll onto your belly, "No, perv. I meant a baby. You were just talking about getting me pregnant."
Joel looks over at you like you've lost your mind, "Are you being serious right now?"
"Totally. You don't want a mini us running around?" You ask hopefully
"Course I do baby, didn't ever think a pretty young thing like you would want that with me though," Joel admits, pulling you towards him so you're resting partially on top of him
"Really Joel?" You scoff, "You're like the hottest guy in the world."
"Now you're just buttering me up." He laughs his head hitting the pillows behind him
"I'm serious!" You smile as he presses a gentle kiss to your lips
Soft silence flutters around you as you watch the gears turn in his mind.
"Gonna have to marry you if you start popping my kids out." Joel grins
"Of course," You laugh, "You think I'm gonna go into labor without a ring on my hand?"
Joel's nose brushes yours as he leans a bit closer to your face, practically breathing in your scent. His hand grasps yours where it rests on his chest.
"Guess I gotta start looking at jewelry then, darlin'. You're gonna have the prettiest ring in all of Texas."
"Ugh, there you go again, plotting to spend way too much money on me again." You groan in embarrassment.
Joel leans in and steals a kiss from you, the taste of pancakes and syrup lingers on his tongue as he does.
"Gotta humor me here," He smiles into the kiss, "Let me buy you presents, baby."
Consider this a mini-rant against the people behind the prices at Sephora. I'm looking at you Summer Fridays...
Want more Joel? Check out my series All Too Well.
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