#can you tell this post is about Kaz Brekker?

[helluvaandhazbinarelife]

THE CHARCATER WHO HAS NEVER SHOWN EMOTION BECAUSE THEY ARE tRAUMATIZED AS ALL FUCK GETTING ABSOLUTELY BASHED TO BITS BUT WINNING THE FIGHT AND THEN GETTING BACK TO THEIR HOME WITH ALL THEIR fREINDS AND REFUSING TO SHOW THAT THEY’RE INJURED AND THEN THE FREINDS FIND OUT BECAUSE OF THE BLOOD AND THEN THE CHARACTER IS ACTUALLY TOUCH AVERSE SO THEY CANT FUCKING DEAL WITH THE HELP CUS TRUAMA

the whump fan’s dilemma

[wylanslcve]

to the bone ━━━ a six of crows one-shot.

spoiler warning: this is not a safe space for fans who have only watched the show and do not want to have wylan's story spoiled for them in case we get the spin-off. this one-shot is based off a scene that is referenced in six of crows, and contains heavy spoilers for wylan's backstory which hasn't yet been explored in the showverse (I say "yet" because I'm holding onto hope that we'll get that spin-off asdfghjkl).

summary: ever since jan van eck had hired him for the mission at the ice court, kaz intended to use wylan as leverage against his father. but wylan had known from the start, from the moment that kaz had told him that he'd be excellent at hostage, that that wouldn't be effective. not when he'd been nothing but a disappointment to his father. not when van eck was hellbent on forgetting that he ever had a son. wylan couldn't keep it hidden anymore. kaz needed to know the truth. (or: the scene where wylan tells kaz about his disability.)

author's note: this work is a submission for grishaverse disability pride day by @gvdisabledpride that will also be available on ao3, so if you also see this work there... that's why :)

content warning: descriptions of ableism, mentions of past child abuse, ptsd

ABOARD THE FEROLIND after the battle at the Djerholm harbour, Wylan lay curled up in his cot below deck, waiting for the moment the sway of the ship would lull him to sleep.

Except he knew it probably wouldn't. He'd been lying in his cot for what felt like hours, tossing and turning, desperately trying to silence his racing thoughts and just fall asleep. He tried to focus on the sound of the sea muffled by the hull of the Ferolind, on the sway of the ship as it journeyed closer and closer to Ketterdam — but the freezing cold wasn't doing him any favours, and neither was that anxious gnawing in his gut.

The mission had been, considerably, a success: they'd escaped the Ice Court in one piece, with Kuwei Yul-Bo stashed away in one of the other cabins and the promise of thirty million kruge awaiting them back in Ketterdam. Wylan would get his share and leave this life behind. He'd journey somewhere far away, never having to speak the name Van Eck again.

Van Eck…

Wylan swallowed the bile rising up inside him. Kaz had intended to use him as leverage against his father, lest the plan go awry and Van Eck was suddenly uncooperative. “Wylan isn’t just good with the flint and fuss,” he'd announced that first day on the Ferolind, right before he'd revealed Wylan's true identity to the rest of the crew. “He's our insurance.” 

Wylan shut his eyes, curled up tighter in his cot. His heart was starting to beat a little faster, a hummingbird trapped inside a cage, and he forced his breath slowly through his chest — a deep breath through his nose, shattering the silence that had thickened around him. Kaz had kept him close to use him as leverage against Van Eck, but one thing the older boy wasn't aware of was that Wylan couldn't be their insurance. Not when his father wanted him to disappear. Not when he was attempting to forget he ever had a son. Not when his new wife, Alys, was bearing the heir of the Van Eck empire — a proper hier, not the defective one he’d received in Wylan. Not the one who’d turn the Van Eck name into a laughingstock.

I have to tell Kaz.

Instinctively, his fingers reached up to touch his neck. He could still feel Prior's meaty hands clasped tightly around it, his grip firm and relentless as Wylan grew dizzy and black spots slowly filled his vision. He sat up, hoping the feeling would subside if he got up and let more air fill his lungs — and yet, the feeling of his throat constricting persisted, and a suffocating, uncontrollable panic welled up in him.

He hugged his knees to his chest and slowly rocked himself back and forth with his head buried in his arms, horrified by how his breath was coming out in short, shallow whimpers as the memories came flooding back, by how the tears prickled the corners of his eyes as his father's voice echoed in his ears.

A child half your age can effortlessly do what you cannot.

I've tried everything I possibly could. I've tried tutors, specialists, I've tried forcing that stubbornness out of you and yet you refuse to be taught.

You can't be sent anywhere because your defect might be revealed.

“Get out of my head,” Wylan whimpered, grabbing fistfuls of his hair as he continued to rock himself back and forth. “Get out of my head.”

Once you reveal yourself to be defective, they'll turn your back on you. They'll leave you as you were: the wayward son of one of the richest men in Ketterdam.

“Get… Get out of my head.”

But the voice was persistent, unwelcome. You worthless fool. You soft-pated idiot.

He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, blinking back the tears that formed a painful lump in his throat. He swallowed, trying to force it down to no avail, and a fresh flare of panic swelled within him. Someone could walk into his cabin at any moment and see him in this state: rocking back and forth with his head in his hands, chest shuddering over and over as he gasped for air, begging the voice in his head to lapse into silence. And yet, there was nothing he could do about it. He felt detached from his own body, as though he were watching himself from the perspective of an outsider, helpless against the wave of shame overcoming him.

He stayed like that until the jittery feeling coursing through him had subsided enough for him to think rationally again. Above that irrefutable voice in the back of his mind, he once again thought about revealing his greatest shame to Kaz. What would happen if he just stayed there on his cot, if he never told Kaz that he couldn't be used as leverage against his father? And what would happen if Van Eck double-crossed them, and there wasn't any good enough insurance to ensure that the six of them would get their money? Their efforts would have been futile, and none of them would get what they'd initially sought — and it might as well be his fault.

His body starting to tremble, Wylan forced himself to stand up from his cot. Just do one thing at a time. Just like his tutor had taught him in order to stop him from getting overwhelmed by the page. Stand up. He slid off the edge of the cot, straightened as his feet touched the ground. Take a deep breath. He closed his eyes, took another deep breath through his nose. Open your eyes. He opened his eyes and forced himself to walk. Go find Kaz. He assumed Kaz would be in his own cabin, scheming away, concocting backup plans for their backup plans in case anything went wrong.

He quietly left his cabin, making his way down the Ferolind's lower deck to find Kaz. He found the older boy sitting on the cot in his own cabin, staring intently at the floor with one hand gripping the crow head of his cane.

“Kaz?” Wylan swallowed frantically, his skin burning hot as he fought the words to come through. “I… I won't be leverage enough against my father. I know I'm supposed to be your… insurance, but I can't be. It won't be enough.”

Kaz sat up straighter, his free hand curling over the head of his cane as he looked up at Wylan. “And why is that?”

Something about Kaz's cold glare, his rock-salt rasp as he asked the question, sent a chill rippling over every inch of Wylan's skin. He wanted to scream. He wanted to bolt back to his cabin, hide beneath the paper-thin covers until he vanished completely. He wanted the floor to open up beneath him, to be dragged by the rolling waves into the depths of the sea. He wanted to disappear, just like his father wanted him to.

I have to tell him.

“I…” The roar of blood in his ears was deafening, drowning out the murmur of the waves outside the Ferolind's hull. That shameful helplessness was taut in his belly, a knot incapable of coming unravelled.

You just have to say it. You just have to say you can't read.

His father's taunts reverberated in his mind. Defective. Imbecile. Worthless. Broken. Disgraceful. Idiot. Useless. He was choking on them. They pressed against his throat like Prior's iron grip closing around it all those months ago, dirty fingernails digging into the skin of his neck. His cheeks burnt with shame despite the cold sweat that had broken out over every part of his body. His heart was a war drum beneath his ribs, his chest too tight, his breath too short and shallow. Take a deep breath. He couldn't. His clothes felt tight around his body — too tight, as though they stuck to him.

“I… I have an affliction.” Uttering those words aloud was enough to send a violent roil through Wylan's stomach, and he had to stop himself from throwing up. This was it. There was no taking back those words: he was halfway there.

Kaz merely sat there, looking rather impatient with his gloved hands folded over the crow's head of his cane. Wylan couldn't imagine what he looked like in this moment: red-faced, a trembling hand near his lips as if he were about to bite his nails, his eyes not meeting Kaz's.

It felt like the walls of the cabin were closing in on him, Prior's hands tightening around his throat as the latter half of his confession choked him. The waters he'd leapt into all those months ago were rising around him, filling his lungs and numbing his limbs with its icy grasp. He tried to fight against it, but the water was weighing him down, his limbs useless against the tide as he drowned in the murky waters of the Ketterdam harbour.

He drew another deep, shuddering breath.

Spit it out.

“I… I can't read,” he finally gasped, and the water receded.

There. He'd said it. He'd revealed his shame to Kaz, his voice barely above a whisper lest the sea around them carry his shame across its rolling waves and let the whole world know about Jan Van Eck's defective child.

Kaz's piercing glare was still on him, as if expecting him to say more. His expression remained as cold and calculating as ever — had he known about this too, just as he'd known about Wylan's true identity? Did Wylan have any tells that gave away his shame — his face growing pale at the sight of the tangled scrawl of words across a page, staring at it for too long hoping that he'd recognise the shapes of the words? Or had Kaz been surprised? Had this been the one thing he hadn't seen coming? His gaze was piercing and unreadable, but Wylan sucked in another breath and continued, trying to keep his voice steady.

“It's not that no one tried to teach me, lots of people did. But I just can't do it. It's like something in me refuses to do it.” That was what his father used to drill into him throughout his childhood, and the memory filled him with a sickening dread.

“I'm…” Wylan moistened his lips thoughtfully, trying to phrase his next words carefully without having the entire shameful story out in the open. The story of his father sending him away, supposedly to study music in Belendt. Of his Miggson and Prior trying to kill him, of him leaping into the murky canal with nothing but his satchel, fake enrolment papers and a soaked-through stash of kruge. “To him, I'm not worth losing. You can't use me as leverage if I'm not good enough insurance. There has to be another way around this, because this won't work. I know it won't.”

Kaz averted his gaze thoughtfully, then shrugged before standing up, leaning on his cane. That was his only response — a shrug. Had Wylan not been so afraid, so shaken by that shameful helplessness, he would have burst out laughing: he'd just revealed his defect to Kaz Brekker — the Bastard of the Barrel, the boy they called Dirtyhands in the grimy streets of the Barrel — and he'd merely shrugged. Shouldn't he be concerned with what to do with Wylan, now that he'd found out that his demolitions expert was just a useless fool evicted from his father's home?

“We'll have to work around that, then,” Kaz responded in that low, raspy voice. His eyes met Wylan's, boring into him as though searching for some semblance of worth within him, something that would compensate for his other failings. A pinprick of discomfort shot up Wylan's spine at the prolonged eye contact, but Kaz's eyes left his as he scanned Wylan from the top of his head down to the tips of his toes and back up again.

Wylan just stood there, completely stunned. He'd expected Kaz to sneer at him, or laugh at his affliction and refuse to give him his share of their reward once they'd reached Ketterdam. He'd expected the knot in his stomach to tighten, the shame growing, but he felt it loosen ever so slightly with the odd sense of relief and liberation that came with revealing his condition to Kaz.

“And how do you suppose we do that?” Wylan asked, his voice a low croak. “What other leverage could we possibly use?” 

Kaz looked towards the door of his cabin, then back at Wylan. Kaz Brekker saw the world as though it were a puzzle, and he studied Wylan like he was a piece of that puzzle that didn't fit where he'd thought it would — but now, it seemed, he'd found another place he could slot that piece into without having to tear the entire project apart. “Lest Van Eck double-crosses us, we'll have to stop him from getting what he wants.”

Wylan's brow furrowed. “And how, exactly, would we do that?”

“Nina's a passable Tailor at best — but, under the influence of parem, she could achieve something that shouldn't be possible. Not even in the hands of the most gifted Tailor.” Wylan swallowed thickly as Kaz continued. “We'll have her tailor you to look like Kuwei, and hand you off to your father.”

Wylan's heart stuttered at that. He was no stranger to Kaz's elaborate and unbelievable schemes — after all, they'd stolen a tank from a high-security prison — but this was different. This was absurd. Wylan agreeing to be tailored to look like Kuwei was a death wish: the Shu boy was valuable, certainly with large bounties on his head. He held the secret to the world's greatest threat, one that could wreak havoc if it fell into the wrong hands. Wylan could have refused — he should have refused, if he wanted to make it back to Ketterdam alive. Instead, he cleared his throat and responded with an assertive, “I'll do it.”

For a split second, a surprised look flashed in Kaz's eyes, but disappeared as quickly as it came. He expected me to refuse, Wylan thought as his cheeks heated with embarrassment once again.

“It may be permanent,” Kaz warned him.

Wylan shook his head. “I need to know. Once and for all, I need to know what my father really thinks of me.”

Kaz cast him an almost pitying look. “Surely Van Eck would have some qualms about ending your life—”

“He wouldn't,” Wylan asserted, picking at the skin of his lip, that ill feeling returning as the reality dawned on him. Van Eck had tried to kill him once, what would stop him from trying again? “I'll bet you that.”

“How much?”

“Ten kruge.”

Kaz's lip curled in a grin. “Surely your father wouldn't be so callous.”

Wylan shrugged. “You'd be surprised.”

“Nothing surprises me, merchling. That's why I'm still alive.” Kaz walked past Wylan and made his way to the cabin's entrance. “I'm going to fill Nina in on the plan. Go to her cabin within the hour.”

Wylan nodded as Kaz left the cabin, leaving Wylan alone with nothing but his own racing thoughts. When he'd finally gotten himself to move, he walked back to his own cabin and propped himself down on his cot, his body still trembling with the aftermath of confessing his greatest shame to Kaz. His fingers itched the way they always did whenever he yearned to play his flute or the piano in the music room of his father's house. Ghezen and his works, he wanted nothing more than to snatch his satchel up from the foot of his cot and grab his flute. He wanted to close his eyes and bring the instrument to his lips, letting the world disappear around him as the notes wrapped him in his own story — one free of the shame and fear he'd carried for so long, one that made his heart flutter with joy as the music flooded a soothing warmth through him. But he couldn't bring himself to even glance in the direction of his satchel.

He thought back to Kaz's unchanged expression at his admission, the light, dismissive shrug of his shoulders. The shame still gnawed at Wylan, but there was also the strange relief of getting something off his chest despite it, as though telling Kaz had freed something in him — something that had been encased in the chains of his father's contempt for as long as he could remember.

It's not too late to decline, pressed that voice in the back of his mind.

He shook his head assertively — if this is what had to be done to ensure the crew got their money, then so be it. And yet… he was terrified and horribly anxious.

He looked down at his hands, his eyes tracing over the creases of his slender fingers, the little scars with no clear origin along his skin, the crescent outlines on his palms from digging his nails into them. Within the hour, they weren't going to be his hands anymore — they'd be Kuwei's. Slowly, he buried his face in his hands, sighing deeply as his fingers raked through the tufts of hair that brushed his forehead. The face in his hands wouldn't be his anymore, and neither would the hair between his fingers. With Nina's power, he'd soon become the most valuable person in the world. He was terrified, but that wouldn't stop him from doing what he needed to. From ensuring that he and the rest of this crew got their money.

From finally learning what his father truly thought of him.

Van Eck had made it clear as Wylan grew up that there was no space for his son in his household. He'd made it clear that he wanted Wylan disappear for as long as it took him to forget that he ever had a son. And yet, a part of him hoped that maybe he'd misunderstood everything. That his father did indeed love him unconditionally just as any father loved his child.

Wylan lifted his head from his hands and started gnawing at his thumbnail. He wouldn't know for certain until the rest of Kaz's plan was carried out, when his face and name were no longer his.

[khawla-gfm2]

📰Khawla's Family Campaign Update: 29📰

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Only 4 donations made today!

If you're seeing this post, I urge you to please help this campaign reach $5,000 as soon as possible. it would take Just 50 people donating $20 to reach that short term goal.

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[vinylfoxbooks]

August 19 - Invite | @into-the-jeggyverse | wc: 1138 Suggestive at the end

“Why are you here, Lily?” Remus sighs, watching one of his best friends walk through the door to the flat that she let herself into from where he’s sitting on the couch with a book. He can hear James in the kitchen finishing up with whatever they’re currently making. 

“I am here!” Lily announces, pushing further into the flat, “To officially invite you to the Halloween party that Mary and I are having.”

“And are those hotties that showed up in your story the other day going to be there?” James calls from the kitchen, “For both Remus and I?”

Lily laughs and turns an inquisitive face on Remus, “The ‘hotties’?”

Remus rolls his eyes, “The brothers or whatever that you posted something with. Pandora was talking to one and the other was waving at the camera.”

“Oh!” Lily nods, “That would be Regulus and Sirius, Pandora’s best friend and his brother. Yes, they’re both invited to my party but I don’t know if they’ll be coming for sure. Just out of interest, which one were you guys interested in?”

“Funnily enough, I really liked the one that was waving, Sirius I presume?” Lily nods and Remus continues, “James liked the grumpy looking one.”

“Of course they would.” Lily smiles, rolling her eyes, “When I know for sure whether they’re coming or not, I’ll let you two know.”

“You should tell us what they’re wearing as well!” James calls out once again, “So we can do something to match it!” Lily rolls her eyes but agrees nonetheless before pressing a kiss to Remus’ cheek and standing up, walking out of the flat. Remus rolls his eyes at the interaction while James starts cackling upon hearing the door slam closed. 

Days later, Lily texts them informing them that Regulus and Sirius are going to be attending the party and that they’re going as Nine Zenik and Kaz Brekker from Six of Crows, which James gets incredibly excited about and they immediately start brainstorming about what the two of them are going to wear. 

Which is how James and Remus end up walking into Lily and Mary’s house with James wearing a red button that’s half unbuttoned underneath an open burgundy waistcoat with little swirl patterns on them and a brown leather overcoat that matches the one that sits on Remus’ shoulders with the collar popped up, and a black top hat sitting haphazardly on their head. They’ve got a pair of black pants with some holsters on their thighs that hold fake guns vaguely resembling Jesper’s. Remus, on the other hand, is wearing some brown slacks that match his coat and a vest with several pockets visible on top of a brown button up. He’s got some extra things to make him look like a ‘tinkerer’ but otherwise his outfit is rather simple.

“I don’t know why you’re even wearing that many layers,” Remus says as he holds the door open for James, “You’re going to be down to your button up by the end of the night.”

“You know me so well, my love.” James smiles, slipping into the house with Remus following just behind them. The two find Lily easily, who is wearing a pink cocktail dress with a red bow sitting on the top of her head. Nearby they can see Mary wearing a green, tight-fitting tank top and a black miniskirt and Pandora wearing a white and light blue dress with white stockings, their hair in ponytails with blue ribbons. 

“The Power Puff Girls.” Remus nods upon stopping in front of her, his gaze just breaking from the other two to properly look at her. 

Lily smiles when she sees them, “Pandora’s idea. Wylan and Jesper, that’s a surefire way to make the Black brothers think that you’re together.”

James shrugs, “Who else would you put me as? Inej?”

“And if I were trying to go for Nina’s counterpart, could you really see me being Mattias?” Remus follows up, “We figured that these were the best, and James wanted to wear the top hat.” Lily concedes to them before pointing to where Sirius and Regulus are leaning against a wall, talking to each other. 

Regulus is dressed as Kaz, a black button up underneath a black and silver waistcoat with silver chains going from the lower center to either of his sides and disappearing under a thick black overcoat along with some leather gloves. Sirius, on the other hand, is wearing a long red dress with gold detailings and slits down either side and a black and gold waist cincher. Their longer hair is pulled back into a bun. 

“Damn.” James whistles, looking Regulus up and down. Remus can’t help but nod at that. Lily laughs at them before stalking away to her partners. 

James and Remus go to enjoy themselves at the party for a while, deciding that they need some alcohol in their systems before they start even trying to flirt with the attractive brothers. At some point, one of James’ favourite songs gets played over the speakers and James pulls Remus onto the dance floor by his hands and pulls him to their body. Remus, as he tends to do, humors them and starts singing and dancing along with them. 

At one point, after the song has long switched to other ones, James goes to twirl Remus but watches as he gets pulled away by Sirius while Regulus slips in and grabs James’ hands. While in shock, James is all the more willing to take it into stride, “Why hello there.”

Regulus hums, slow enough that James almost doesn’t hear it over the sound of the party around them, “Hello.” He drags his eyes over James’ body, “Jesper Fahey?”

“Kaz Brekker.” James smiles in response, dragging their own eyes over Regulus, “Just what kind of heist are you planning today? Maybe stealing my heart?”

Regulus rolls his eyes, “I take it, from your flirting with me, that you and your Wylan over there that my brother is dancing with aren’t together?”

“No,” James smiles, “Just best friends with the personalities of these characters. My name is James, my friend over there that your brother seems about ready to jump is Remus.”

“And why do I need to do that?” James shrugs, “I figure that your brother is the type of person to shag first, ask questions later and Remus doesn’t like answering those after a good fuck. Figuring that you knowing his name was better than nothing.” 

“Mm,” Regulus hums, jerking his chin away, “That may be the case, but I think I’ve asked enough questions. Want to find somewhere more private?” James nods and starts pulling Regulus towards the hallway that takes James to the spare room that they usually end up staying in when they stay with Lily and Mary.

I know that technically Wylan and Jesper are together and neither of them are with Kaz or Nina but I thought those characters fit each of them the best, y’know

[futurecorps3]

𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐬

Masterlist<3

Summary: YEARNING WITH A READER HES ABLE TO TOUCH. Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem!reader Warnings: Mentions of Kaz's touch aversion, death, slight OOC Kaz but I think only if you squint like he's a softie with Y/N and Y/N only. Let me know if I missed any!!! Word Count: 2.3K Requested: I guess? @kaldurahms-lover

A/N: The user tagged posted a general request to us Kaz fic writers. The concept follows the line of how our boy would need TOUCH from an s/o who he has known from before JorDIE died. Bestie I hope you like it and you don't mind I used fem!reader (I can change it if it IS an issue). I haven't started and I'm already excited about this piece being posted!!! Mwah hope I did justice to the concept.

˚ · • . ° .

Kaz didn't really know what it was. Maybe it was the weather, too warm for Ketterdam, or the way he was sweating under his gloves. Maybe it was how loud Nina and Jesper were being, too tipsy to care for the volume of their laughs, or how the last job had gone well even when they didn't follow the plan he traced. Maybe he just missed her.

Who was he kidding? Of course he missed her. Y/N had been gone two weeks on a little trip to Novyi Zem to pick up a shipment and get information from financial records kept in one of the properties belonging to their next target. He really tried getting his seller to deliver directly to Ketterdam, but they said it would be too much trouble. Y/N, kind as always, convinced Kaz offered to do both tasks.

And he missed her. The others could tell. The grumpy mood the bastard carried himself with had been even grumpier in the last couple of days and they all knew well what was going on, but decided against prying because he'd never admit it. They couldn't really blame him. After all, his girl was the only one who seemed to melt that inaccessible boy.

They found each other in akin situations; lost kids in a new city, all on their own and with the foolish dream of making a life with nothing but honest intentions and a kind heart. The boy could still remember those pretty watery eyes looking up at his brother with fear, fear of him being another person ready to hurt her. Instead, he made a silent promise to himself to always protect her, to never let anyone hurt her again.

Little did that boy knew he could not keep that promise, not for her, not for himself. He thought fondly at that memory, though. An image close to his heart that made him wonder that maybe he wasn't such a horrible person. Blame it on the innate capacity of kids to feel empathy towards virtually any living thing.

When Jordie died, Kaz was ruined. He felt like he had lost a part of himself, and he didn't know how to go on without his brother. He was consumed by grief and anger, early in age, and pushed Y/N far away from him. But Y/N didn't give up on him.

She knew how much he was hurting, and she refused to let him suffer alone. She was patient with him, giving him the space he needed to grieve, but also letting him know that she was there for him whenever he was ready to talk.

One day, as they were walking through the streets of Ketterdam, Kaz finally opened up to Y/N. He told her everything he had been feeling since Jordie died, the anger, the guilt, and most importantly, the emptiness. And as he spoke, Y/N listened, never judging him, but always offering a kind word or a gentle touch. A touch that did not bother him in the slightest.

Her hands didn't make him feel sick like the ones from officers in the Stadwatch. He realized that he could bear it, and even better, savor it. As they sat in that alley all those years ago, sharing a piece of bread and a dream of a better life, Kaz knew that he had found something special in Y/N. He had found someone who understood him, who accepted him for who he was, and who believed in him even when he didn't believe in himself.

And he knew that he would never let her go. No matter what challenges they faced in the future, no matter how dark the world around them became, Kaz would always have Y/N by his side, just as she had always had his. Together, they would face anything that came their way, because that was what they had always done. They were lost kids in a new city, but they had found each other, and that was all that mattered.

With time, he saw Y/N under a new light. Kaz admired the girl for her capacity to take the best out of situations while remaining conscious of how awful things could get. Her tenderness and bliss seemed to come from a bottomless pit, while his had run dry a long time ago.

It's okay, she had enough to spare for the both of them. Feelings developed, conflict ensued, and after three years of the perilous path of love, they became official. Kaz wouldn't have it any other way and Saint's know Y/N wouldn't either. They loved each other like only two young kids in love could; raw, endlessly.

And that's why Y/N's letter saying she needed more time to collect information had the barrel's bastard all sulky. He needed her embrace, and he needed it now. The more he thought about it, the less probable it seemed for him to be able to hold on a few more days.

"You okay, boss?"

Now, Jesper knew the answer to his question, and he knew why Brekker wasn't doing okay, but he was no expert on how to handle these types of situations, and it seemed like the right thing to ask. As far as Kaz goes, well, he had no idea when the zemeni boy had left his place next to Nina to walk all the way to him. He was too busy thinking about her, as he had been for the past two weeks.

No response came from him. Then a sigh from Jesper. "She'll be back soon, she's okay, Kaz. Turn that terrifying frown into the normal one, you're scaring the piggeons more than we want to". The frustration he felt seemed almost unreasonable; he gave her the job knowing exactly the implications it entailed, so why was he so needy? There was patience in any action of his, but he couldn't control how much he wanted a kiss from his lover at the moment.

To some, it might be cute. To him, it was thoroughly infuriating. "Get a hold of yourself. She'll be back soon, no need to get all mad about something that only time will fix", he thought to himself over and over again in that hot afternoon as he laid on a white blowy blouse in his room trying to go to sleep so time would somehow be faster since burying himself in paperwork and plotting hadn't worked.

With a deep sigh, Kaz closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. He knew that he had to get a grip on himself and not let his emotions get the best of him. Y/N would be back soon enough, and until then, he would have to be patient and wait for her return. And so, he lay there, trying to calm his racing thoughts and steady his beating heart, until finally, he drifted off to sleep.

˚ · • . ° .

First thing he heard was a soft hum. A too familiar song coming from a sweet voice in the bathroom. Was he so out of control he was now dreaming of Y/N returning? What love does to a man... The sun prickling his skin felt too real, the sweat on his bare hands ran freshly, tickling him ever so slightly.

He sat up quickly, his heart pounding with excitement. Had she returned early from her trip? He got out of bed and walked towards the door carefully, his bare footsteps echoing delicately on the wooden floor. As he opened the door a bit wider, he saw her standing in front of the mirror. Y/N's eyes met his, hers sparkling with a well-known happiness.

"Hi" she dared to say. Saints! She had no idea what an agony it had been without her, right? Kaz felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of her. She looked radiant, with her hair tousled and her cheeks flushed from the heat outside. A long walk from the docks, surely. Had he been awake and aware of her early return, he would've walked her back to the Slat with an umbrella to shield both of them from the suffocating light.

"Hello" he mumbled, still a little dazed from sleep. Y/N smiled and stepped closer to him. "I missed you," she said simply, reaching out to take his hand. Kaz felt a surge of emotion wash over him, and he knew in that moment that she had missed him just as much. He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly against him as he breathed in the scent of her hair. It was the same from before she left, just a little saltier.

For a moment, they just stood there, wrapped up in each other, savoring the feeling of being together once more.

Finally, Y/N pulled back and looked up at him, a soft smile on her lips. "I brought you something," she said, pulling away and shuffling through her bag before humming contently, pulling and holding out a small box.

Kaz took the package and opened it to reveal a delicate silver necklace, with a tiny crow charm dangling from it. He looked up at her, surprised and touched by the gesture. "Y-you don't have to wear it-" "It's beautiful," he said softly, handing it over to her as she carefully placed it around his neck with a content smile.

They both knew it would remain hidden under the various layers of clothing he wore on cooler days (or even the hotter ones such as this), but knowing it was there was enough.

"Looks pretty" Y/N beamed, tracing her fingers down his half-exposed chest and pulling him in for a hug from the waist. "I missed you so much," he confessed, feeling the commotion inside of him finally subside under her touch. "I missed you too much, never let me go away for that long again... no matter how stubborn I get".

Kaz felt his mouth turn up in a grin, almost letting out a giggle. "Never," He looked down at her briefly and found her looking at him already, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "don't think I could bear it".

As the heat of the afternoon persisted, Kaz and Y/N found themselves seeking refuge in the relative coolness of Kaz's bedroom. They lay on the bed together, cuddled up over the white sheets, with Kaz's arm wrapped tightly around Y/N's waist. Despite the warmth of the day, Kaz felt a chill run through him at the touch of Y/N's skin against his.

As they lay there, Kaz felt a sense of peace wash over him. He had spent so much of his life chasing after money and power, but now, in this moment, he realized that his number one priority was something much simpler: the warmth and love of the person he cared about most in the world.

Y/N shifted slightly in his arms, and Kaz tightened his grip on her. He could feel her breathing softly against his chest, and he knew that he would never tire of this feeling.

"I've been more... difficult than usual. Even Matthias got alarmed," he murmured, his voice low and husky laced with amusement. Y/N looked up at him, giggling, her eyes filled with love. "It's okay," she said softly. "I missed you too."

Kaz smiled, feeling a sense of contentment that he had never experienced before. He knew that his life would always be filled with danger and uncertainty, but as long as he had Y/N by his side, he knew that he would be able to face anything. Just like when they were kids.

They lay there for a long time, just holding each other, lost in their own thoughts. And as the afternoon turned to evening, they drifted off to sleep, safe and content in each other's arms.

˚ · • . ° .

Hi! Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed:)

Remember, the best way to support writer’s works on here is by REBLOGGING WITH TAGS. I’d very much appreciate it if you did!

Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO REPOST AS THEIR OWN/TRANSLATE/OR COPY MY WORK IN ANY PLATFORM OR SPACE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT CONSENT.

[moss-ridden-owl-creature]

Introduction Post :DD

(last updated: 27/12/24)

I don’t know exactly how to do this but I’m doing it anyways!

‼️BEFORE THE INTRO: please do not ask me for donations. I can’t tell which are scams and which aren’t. I’m a minor and also cannot donate along with the fact that hospitals and severe injuries often shown in the asks are massive triggers for me and can send me into panic attacks very easily.‼️

+🌑+🌘+🌗+🌖+🌕+🌔+🌓+🌒+🌑+

Name: Call me Mike, Millard, Cassidy, Telemachus or Owl :) (generally don’t care) (nicknames for friends/moots: Cass, Mills, Millie, Tem or anything else you wanna call me)

Age: 15+ (I’m a minor)

Gender: Non-binary (pronouns: any except for neos)

Orientation: biromantic & Demisexual :)

Religion: Hellenic & Nordic pagan (Greek & Norse deities. Probably won’t post often about this stuff but I do reblog things relating to it) (No, I am not interested in converting, don’t try it. Believe me, the Mormons at my school have tried.)

I’ll post my art once in while! Nothing on my blog in terms of interests is set in stone, but you will often see art from fandoms I’m in, or of my ocs/fursonas!

I am endo-neutral. I will interact with both pro and anti endos. I genuinely do not care what your stance on it is. Just don’t bring syscourse to my blog or DMs.

VERY VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE:

‼️‼️DO NOT FOLLOW, INTERACT, COMMENT, REPOST OR REBLOG ANY OF MY CONTENT IF YOU SELFSHIP WITH ANY OF MY FICTOTYPES. IT MAKES ME PHYSICALLY ILL.‼️‼️‼️

theriotype: Tundra wolf! (Spiritual) hearttypes: border collie & crows! (Spiritual)

kintypes: Cryptidkin, & dragonkin (These are either spiritual or/and emotional.)

Fictotypes/fictionkin: Micheal Afton, Millard Nullings (MPHFPC), Cassidy (Vengeful spirit/Golden Freddy) (FNaF), & Telemachus (EPIC: The musical)

Matthias Helvar (SoC) fictionhearted!

Am I okay with doubles?

Micheal: sorry no!

Cassidy: ehh- it’s iffy

Millard: Sure?

Telemachus: nada, sorry :< (fictives are chill though if I know you)

Some form of relation/connection to the FNaF franchise besides a kintype. Potential hearthome or idk maybe I’m just sad about my family lmao (damn. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say in regards to the Aftons.)

THIS IS NOT A ROLEPLAY BLOG. THIS IS PURELY MY THOUGHTS AND DUMB SHIT. THAT WILL INCLUDE MY FICTIONKIN EXPERIENCES.

Depending on if I’m feeling shifty or having really strong emotions in regards to something related to my sources, my post text color may change and I’ll sign off the message but basically: Micheal, Cassidy, Millard, Telemachus

my alts!!:

@y0ur-l0cal-1nvisible - a MPHFPC-centric blog about my source and Millard Nullings kin stuff

@mikes-hideout - a more angsty teen-Mike FNaF-centric blog about FNaF and my general Micheal Afton kin experiences @prince-of-ithaca - EPIC! The Musical and The Odyssey (+general Greek mythology) centric blog with my Telemachus fictotype

@tr4sh-b4stard - just a regular alt acc for me, this will probably end up being deleted as I never use it for anything.

Fandoms: Grishaverse, Riordanverse, The MCU, Good Omens, The Folk of The Air, Murder Drones, FNaF, Heathers, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, The Lunar Chronicles, The Hunger Games, The Song of Achilles, EPIC: The Musical, Aru Shah, Hamilton (technically), Warriors, Avatar: TLA, Iron Widow, The Furry fandom, and many others! (These are in no specific order) (green text indicates hyperfixations)

I’m a batshit insane Kaz Brekker simp lol :)

Hardcore Jason Grace (HoO) defender (fight me /hj I am willing to hold conversations about it though.)

Other things: I’m a furry (my fursona is named Halskë! I will post about these things.) I am diagnosed with ADHD, Slytherin, Cabin 7 (Apollo), I’m a fan of bones and taxidermy :) I also bow hunt large game such as antelope, deer, elk and big horned sheep :)

C!Technoblade (DSMP) synpath! (Not a kintype!Just relate to the character:) )

Milo Rossi (Miniminuteman) fan :)

I am a diehard FNaF fan. I will talk about it for HOURS. I love FNaF. Mention it and I will vibrate at a frequency strong enough to shatter glass. So yes, please talk to me about it :)

DNI: Basic haters, bigots, pro-Nazis, zoos, racists, or fans of The Human Centipede (Gives me PTSD-like triggers.) Those who are “Nordic Myth” kins of any type. (Marvel kins are not included. Y’all are fine.) & NSFW blogs, I’m a minor and on the asexual spectrum and it makes me uncomfortable, thanks! :)

also please note, even if you are not in my DNI list, I do block freely, I do not stand for people who are constantly pessimistic. I don’t care if you’re pessimistic in general, myself am a realist, but what I mean by that is if you are more than 80% of the time just a negative being, I will most likely not interact with you. I am endo neutral. Don’t bring discourse to me.

another thing! My content is considerably 13+ (I will not respond to asks if you under 14 years old, as it makes me uncomfortable.) and if you are older than 25, do not interact with me (EX: asks. The exception for this would be like if I follow you and send you an ask.), as you are between 10-5 years older than me. (The under 14 rule does not apply to those who are regressors, and regressors ARE allowed to interact with my content, but be warned, not all of my content is suitable for littles, be safe!)

I accept people of all gender, sexual, and/or identity. Don’t come on to my profile with your phobic bullshit.

online friends! (Aka the beings allowed to call me Cass) :D @kirshimadenkisero @the-bineapple @writingnotes520 @popatochsp @thelab-experiment @im-just-another-pony (These goobs are also my mutuals!)

@crooked--compass is my IRL bestie 🫵 (don’t be alarmed if he says dumb shit on my posts)

my tags!

Original posts: #Cryptid whispers, #Dragon Growls, #The Wolf Bites #N Rambles, #Cassidy’s Rambles

art: #The Moss Owl Creature Has Taken To Scribbling, #Owl Draws Will add more as the list grows!

reblogs: #Dragon Rumbles

That’s all! Have a good day/evening :D

(FNaF plushie divider made by @sister-lucifer here on tumblr!) (Millard user box made by @clumsypaws here on tumblr!)

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Intro post! + links to everything :)

Hi, I'm DK and this blog is mostly full of me talking about the Six of Crows and the rest of the Grishaverse! (and I'm also on AO3 as she_posts_nerdy_stuff)

It's occurred to me recently that I never did an intro post and also I'm just generally feeling that things over here are super disorganised so I've gone through all of my posts since 2022 (this was not a quick task you guys omg) and done my best to organise everything into tags so that you can access them all from here! All the links to the tags, or sometimes individual posts, are below the cut, and the categories are AO3, Grishaverse analysis, Grishaverse edits, Grishasverse knitting projects, and Grishaverse incorrect quotes.

Please note: this is a lot of stuff to wade through and I am sure to have missed the odd thing, but hopefully this is pretty mch everything! If you're looking for something that I've said should be here and can't find it, let me know and I'll do my best to track it down :)

Thank you all so much, love to you all <3

AO3 LINKS (I'm starting with the easier links, I don't have to make tags for these ones)

Original works

As I'm writing this I have four fics up on AO3, two of which are works in progress, and I'll update this post whenever that changes (ie when I finish them or when I start a new one)

UPDATE: Five fics now! Links are below <3

Daughter of the Rain and Snow

225k words, 146 chapters, Kanej focused with Wesper featured and Helnik kinda mentioned, post-canon, no archive warnings, completed

Summary:

Around ten years after the events of Crooked Kingdom, 25-year-old Captain Inej Ghafa frees Maya Olsen from a pleasure house in Ketterdam. Maya is looking for revenge against the man who put her in her position, a man who she knows nothing about except his name: Kaz Brekker.

Don't Go Blindly Into The Dark

100k + words, 60+ chapters, Wesper focused with Kanej featured and Helnik mentioned, pre-canon, canon divergence, no archive warnings, work in progress

Summary:

To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?

Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?

Meanwhile there is a darkness growing in Ketterdam, and it seems a killer may be stalking the streets of West Stave. An unknown evil is closing its jaws over the city, and it’s starting to feel like nowhere is safe.

Our Gods Have Abandoned Us

19k + words, 11 chapters, Helnik and Kanej with Wesper kinda featured, so much angst, post-canon, canon-divergence (Van Eck wins AU), major character death, work in progress

This one properly started with this post

Summary:

"Of course they do, Jes," Kaz flexed his fingers in his gloves, "That's what losing a war means. And when that war comes, Kerch can't afford for Shu Han to win it. They'll back Fjerda against Ravka now so that when Shu Han turn against them Fjerda will back them in return. Ravka's navy will fall to Kerch's, most of Ravka's territory will go to Fjerda and if it has any money left then I expect plenty of it will be given to Kerch as part of the deal. The Shu will move against Fjerda to take back the territories they were trying to win from Ravka, and Fjerda will pay them little mind until they declare war on Kerch. Novyi Zem will back Shu Han, because they still think their trade ambassador was killed by the Kerch in what was actually Shu Han's last attempt to start a war over here, Fjerda will back Kerch, refugees will flee to the Wandering Isle and their economy won't be able to withstand it, and meanwhile I will remain exactly where I am and get drunk toasting to the end of the world. You're all welcome to join me,"

OR -

A Van Eck wins AU, mostly exploring how the Crows would respond to the situation but I have some semblance of a larger plot forming I just need to piece it together

If I'm Good Will You Come Back?

2k words, 1 chapter, sad and angst, gen but Helnik mentioned, canon compliant, major character death, completed

Summary:

Five times Matthias Helvar spoke to his baby sister through Djel, and one time that she answered

I’ve put major character death as a tag but it’s nothing beyond canon, it’s just depicted in this fic from a slightly different perspective 👍

Portrait of a Dead Girl

7 chapters so far, gen but also F/M, Alina and the Darkling are in a relationship in this but it isn't shipping them and the Darkling is the villain, canon divergence, alternate universe, rape/non-con, underage, major character death, work in progress

Summary:

Alina Starkov was given to Duke Aleksander Morozova of Os Alta in marriage when she was fifteen years old. Within a year, she was dead. The official cause of Alina's death was marked as putrid fever, but many at the time believed, and many in the future will go on to believe, that she was poisoned by her husband.

-

This fic is completely inspired by The Marriage Portrait by Maggie O'Farrel, which is a work of historical fiction based on the real lives of Duchess Lucrezia d'Este (née de' Medici) and Duke Alfonso ii d'Este of Ferrara. You don't need any prior knowledge of The Marriage Portrait or history to read and enjoy this fic, but know that my writing is very much going to mimic that of O'Farrel in format and although I'm hoping to write the story in my personal usual writing style I will definitely be borrowing a lot of my descriptors, symbols, and so on and so forth from O'Farrel - there will be some of mine too though :)

Somehow, Through The Storm

11 chapters so far but ongoing, kanej-centric with wesper and helnik featured, angst like you wouldn't believe, but also some happier times (ish), alternate universe, major character death, rape/non-con, work in progress

Summary:

In the slums of the Warehouse District, Kaz and Inej are struggling their way through a seemingly unending winter. Wrapped up in a stranger's overcomplicated marriage contract that he is convinced is key to solving the merciless weather, Kaz remains busy and distracted for days on end, putting everything else at risk. So when a storm ravages the city and sweeps Inej into danger, the offer of safety, food, and a place to stay is an overwhelming one - no matter the cost. Terrified of mounting threats, Inej signs a contract - not knowing she would land herself trapped at the Menagerie. Kaz signs a contract that states if he can walk all the way through the city and back to the Warehouse District with Inej behind him, never looking back at her, they will both go free. But this is the Barrel, the darkest part of the city where the rules of physics can change with the stroke of a pen; the journey back will not be the same as journey there… * This is a Hadestown-inspired reimagining of the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice, casting Kaz and Inej as our main characters and heavily featuring our beloved Crows, set in an alternate version of the Grishaverse with a different magic system based entirely on contracts.

Recommendations

Posts where I'm recommending fics can be found here

GRISHAVERSE ANALYSIS LINKS

Okay this is gonna be where this starts getting complicated to organise but here we go, and hopefully now that I have this as a place to keep it organised I'll be able to routinely come back here and update it so we can keep it all together :)

Assorted analysis - Grishaverse

Grishaverse asks

-> subcategory of asks: 'DK finally gets it together and answers her asks because it's about damn time (working title)'

Chapter-by-chapter SOC analysis

(NOTE: I've really been meaning to bring this series back I just haven't had time, are people still interested??)

Specific posts (I've put these ones here because they're generally the ones people ask to be tagged in or that I reference in other posts)

Kanej bathroom scene analysis

Kaz and Wylan's potential to become each other

Rare Spices Billboard

Inej vs the Wraith

Kaz's views on hierarchy

Religion in the Grishaverse (this one is mostly Djel and a little bit of the Saints; I did also write a lot in a reblog of a really good post on Ghezenism by @skepticalcatfrog as well so if you're interested in either part of that you can find it here, I would highly recommend reading their post it's really interesting)

Shadow and Bone TV show analysis

GRISHAVERSE EDIT LINKS

I'm not really sure how to organise this one but all of them are tagged here

If people would like me to I could come back and try to arrange them by character or ship or something?

GRISHAVERSE KNITTING LINKS

Most of the time when I post about this stuff I give updates on all of them, but if you happen to want to filter them (or if I need to come back looking for something specific) then here are the projects:

Kefta cardigan

Six of Crows blanket

Toy crows of the Crows

GRISHAVERSE INCORRECT QUOTES

I organised these by their sources because there were too many for me to choose another way to sort them tbh

Text posts I made based on things my friends and I have actually said. In real life. - the series

Source: friends

Source: the completely made up adventures of Dick Turpin

Source: community

Source: Parks and Rec

Source: the good place

Source: modern family

Source: our flag means death

Source: ghostbusters

Source: renegade nell

Source: the office

Source: young sheldon

Source: the cornetto trilogy

Source: big bang theory

Source: what we do in the shadows

[lunarthecorvus]

Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa Major Character Death fanfiction recommendations

part of Lunar's soc fanficiton rec series

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Slipping away by @ven-brekker

Wordcount: 1,689 Chapters: 1/1

Characters: Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker

Tags: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Blood and Injury, Kanej - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Pre-Canon, Touch-Averse Kaz Brekker, Whump, Major Character Injury

Author's summary/notes: “Keep talking, Wraith. Don’t slip away from me.” “But it’s what I do best.” - Six of Crows, Ch. 12 Inej waits for her Saints to finally have her. My summary/notes: Now this fic is the of major character death whump. There is no ambiguous ending its a death fic to its end. It cuts deep and would definitely fulfill the death fic mood. It HURTS and will make you bawl.

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for once, my teeth bleed for you by @pbandjeremiah

Wordcount: 1,903 Chapters: 1/1

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa

Tags: this is upsetting, Major character death - Freeform, Post-Book 2: Crooked Kingdom, Mix of Show and Book Canon, Hurt No Comfort, kaz and inej loving and respecting each other SO DAMN MUCH, i'm sorry this is sad but like, married kanej, shadow summoner kaz, kaz is a grisha

Author's summary/notes: For once, Kaz Brekker didn't have a plan. For once, it was going to cost him all that he had. Kaz and Inej are put on trial for murder and crimes against Ghezen. Neither of them are going to survive this. My summary/notes: This was one of the first kanej death fics I read and I still adore it now. It really shows the lengths kanej will go to protect and respect each others wishes.

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our youth will take the blame by @pinspec

Wordcount: 3,612 Chapters: 1/1

Characters: Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck

Tags: Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Denial, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst, Sad Ending, Protective Kaz Brekker, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, kaz is so in love with inej it actually hurts, neither of them can say 'i love you', please don't sue me

Author's summary/notes: A mission goes badly wrong, and amidst the carnage Kaz fails to save his Wraith. My summary/notes: This shit hurts. Just everything about this hurts. However in my opinion the ending provides a sense of comfort at least...

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she was supposed to come back by maryadmitrievnalikesundays

Wordcount: 2,840 Chapters: 1/1

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Wylan Van Eck, Jesper Fahey

Tags: Character Death, Death, Grief/Mourning, Madness, Descent into Madness, Insanity, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ambiguous/Open Ending

Author's summary/notes: She was always supposed to return. That was the deal—eight months at sea, four by his side. Eight months of letters and news clippings with her name saved in the locked drawer in his desk. Eight months of yearning, working, killing, waiting for her to come back and give it all meaning. And then The Wraith would roll into port, and the Ketterdam clouds would break, and the King and Queen of the Barrel would walk back home together, hand in hand. But ten months have come and gone since her last departure. And the sky is thick and dense with clouds, and the only thing in his hand is a knife. —— Or, the one thing that could push the Bastard of the Barrel past his breaking point. My summary/notes: I'm not kidding you, the title is enough to make my heart hurt. Be warned that this as depictions of very bad mental health, in case of any triggers <3

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Who lives, who dies, who tells your story by leehab23

Wordcount: 4,717 Chapters: 1/1

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar

Tags: Sad with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Character Death, Some mourners some funerals, I just really think this whole city would go to pieces without him, Some rule of wolves spoilers related to Nina, Book 2: Rule of Wolves Spoilers, Minor violence in the beginning, Minor obstruction of correspondence at the end, somewhat happy I promise, or at least I think so

Author's summary/notes: He continued on, speaking of Kaz’s good deeds, of the great man that lay in hiding behind the terrible one. Of Kaz’s legendary brains, unbelievable grit, and overwhelming impact on the city he called home. As he spoke, he noticed movement in the back of the crowd. Fighting? Fleeing? Wylan couldn’t tell. The ripples grew wider, men and women tripping over themselves to move away from the center of the street. Suddenly a path cleared, as though the crowd had been cleanly torn in half by the point of a sharp knife. “Inej,” Jesper breathed. OR: All of Ketterdam is left reeling in the wake of Kaz Brekker’s death. Despite his frequent objections to the concept, there are mourners and a funeral. My summary/notes: When reading kanej death fics I have noticed that there is less Kaz death fics compared to Inej death fics. So if you're in the mood for a Kaz death fic (I have been many times, don't ask me why but I find it so interesting reading Inej's reaction to Kaz dying). You will feel Inej's pain and it hurts so much. And this fic has Nina helping Nina through the pain and them bonding over dead partners..

[its-ya-boi-kaz]

"Is my tie straight?"

[Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa | 1633 words | cross posted on ao3]

Meeting your girl's parents can be a scary ordeal, especially when you're the Bastard of the Barrel.

A follow up of chapter 44 of Crooked Kingdom

"That's the laugh," Kaz murmured. But Inej was already moving, her feet barely touching the ground as she crossed the expanse of the quay to where her parents were, running towards her at the same speed as she was. 

Kaz didn't want to interrupt them, so he simply walked, leaning lightly on his cane and eyes trained on Inej. She was face to face with them now. For a moment, she seemed frozen, not sure of what to do. Her mother had tears streaming down her face. She couldn't wait for another moment, pulling Inej into a hopelessly tight embrace. Kaz was halfway up to them by the time they broke apart. 

She didn't say anything. Her lips parted and she croaked something like, "Papa." Her father put a hand on her shoulder. He was looking down at Inej with a smile that made Kaz feel like an intruder, he didn't deserve to witness something so innocent. 

Only then did Inej turn back. Kaz suddenly felt like a spectacle. Should he have worn something else? Surely it was his clothing choices that made their eyes lock on him so intently. Kaz saw that Inej's mother's eyes were the same as Inej. Mr Ghafa had a sense of weight in his gaze that could only be bought with age. But his wife, well, the woman was possibly what the girls on West Stave had in mind when they whined about wanting to look young forever. She seemed ageless. Her eyes were the same pools of darkness as the girl who stood before him. Like she too had taken every dark thing around her and held them in her gaze until she was surrounded by an aura of light, as Inej had been doing for years. 

"Ma, Papa, this is Kaz." Her father extended his hand with the grace of a saviour, but Kaz did not need salvation, not if it came with a handshake. He was acutely aware of the sea breeze on his naked palms. The same sea had once wrinkled his fingers as they clung to Jordie, more afraid of drowning than whatever was in front of his eyes. 

"He helped me survive this city." Inej's voice was an anchor, keeping him grounded to reality. 

Her eyes were on him. He had held her own hand only moments before. Could he do the same for the man in front of him? If it gave her the same comfort? Could he cross the Barge once again, if he knew she would be standing on the shore? 

I would come for you. His bare hand left the metal crow's head of his cane and made contact with the skin of someone else. The waters rose. 

"Ma, could you make skillet bread for me tonight?" Inej spoke, but her eyes were on him. He shook her father's hand firmly; it was a chore to keep his hand from shaking as he returned it to the head of the cane. When he looked up, her smile was a halo of light around her. He fought not to squint against the sheer luminescence of her joy. 

"Of course I will, jaan, " her mother cooed, using the Suli word for 'lifeline'. Inej had mentioned it to him once, in one of her proverbs. "But first you must tell us, what happened ?"

He could feel the weight of the question, the burden of it hanging over Inej. He could only guess what Suli proverbs must be going on in her head to help her cope with the fear and keep her chin held high. 

"We will tell you everything you wish to know, Mrs Ghafa," Kaz spoke in her stead. How many times had she covered for him? He could repay her a thing or two before she started her journey to the sea. "But first shall we go somewhere more comfortable? I must confess, staying standing for long isn't very good for my leg."

• • •

"Veera told me of the slaver ship that was seen leaving the dock. When we didn't find you, we feared the worst," Inej's father said. 

They had come to Wylan's house and were seated on the dining table on which loaves of the skillet bread that Inej's mother had made cooled. Inej and Kaz on one side, her parents on the other. 

"The worst happened, Papa. And then it happened some more."

Kaz listened as Inej explained her days at the Menagerie. Then her meeting with Kaz. Her time with the dregs. She looked at him a few times, to see if he would like to add to the conversation. He would, but he would not speak. 

There came a time every once in a while when he had to look at all the numbers himself. Despite how accurate the reports of Anika and Pim were, he always found something that had slipped from their brain, that would have been unknown to him if he hadn't looked at the scores himself. You could trust somebody with your numbers, but there were some tallies you had to count on your own. This was her story to tell. He had no right to say anything, not when he knew there were wounds in her only she could recall. 

She had steered clear of any mention of the Ice Court heist. But she could only talk so much about the past. "I have a ship. I managed to do something huge, with the help of the right people. I have the resources too. I'm going to hunt slavers. I won't let anyone suffer what I've endured. But before I do that, I need your forgiveness. Papa, Mama, I need to know where… I need to know what I mean to you, before I go out into the world alone and fulfil my purpose in this world."

There were tears in her mother's eyes that were very different from the way she'd cried at the quay. Her eyes were still, determined, yet searching for something to say. She reminded Kaz of the night on Black Veil when Inej had turned back － He was going to break my legs , Kaz, she had said, eyes searching for answers－ and he breathed out a sigh, knowing there was nothing furious in her mother's gaze. If they were angry at Inej, Kaz doubted any of the Ghafas would like what he planned to do in that scenario. Including Inej. Especially Inej.

"You are still our daughter, Inej. You needn't ask for our forgiveness. You did what you had to do." Her father's voice was steady despite the tears. Her mother silently wiped her own. She suddenly got up and crossed the table to Inej, and coddled her face in her hands. She leaned down to press her lips on her daughter's forehead. 

"You did what the Saints asked of you, my child. If that is what you think your purpose is, then let me not be what stops you. You can…"

Their voices faded into the background as Kaz stepped into the backyard. He lowered himself onto the steps, feeling his leg throb with a twinge of pain. He did not want to intrude in what was supposed to be a memory none of them would forget. He wanted them to only remember each other as they too probably wanted to. 

He sensed her presence behind him. He glanced back and opened his mouth to tell her how she should go back to her family and that Kaz could talk to her later, but the words died on his lips. It wasn't Inej behind him, but her father. He turned his gaze back to the canal. The old man sat beside him, posture erect even when sitting down. 

"I'm aware that you are the reason Inej is safe today," he started. He must have left the mother and daughter to do some more weeping together. 

"There's no safe in Ketterdam, Mr Ghafa. I didn't give her safety, it doesn't exist in this city. She fended for herself."

"I suspect you have a hand behind that too."

Kaz stayed silent, feeling the temperature of his face rise as if he was a child that had been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to. But Mr Ghafa wasn't blaming, he was simply acknowledging facts. 

"I don't have much to say to you, just know that I thank you deeply for what you have done for her." 

He didn't know what to say to that. It was awfully quiet in these parts of the city. He could hear the water of the large canal lapping up against the shore. 

After a while, Inej's father stood up and dusted off his trousers. Only then did he sense Inej, the real Inej's presence behind him. So he'd known his daughter had come and left them alone. Kaz supposed he should be honoured, but he could only feel a pang of jealousy that he hadn't been able to sense Inej before her father. 

She sat beside him now, slipping into a comfortable silence. Neither of them wanted to speak. Every few moments, she would wipe her eyes. 

What had her parents said about him after he'd gone? What had she said about him? What would they say if they came here right now? 

Quietly, she reached for his now gloved hand. Kaz took a deep breath. There was her hand on his. A slight weight on his shoulder where she had leaned her head against it. Sunlight glistened on the murky waters of the canal. His mind was reeling. A jumble of thoughts, but none of them profound enough to be worth being spoken.

"They like you. Both of them."

He could have never known such simple words would be what eased the thumping in his chest. 

[cameliawrites]

Kanej Fic Recs: The "Figuring Out Intimacy" Trope

If you're anything like me, you're a glutton for very specific fic tropes applied to your very favorite OTPs (and we all know my OTP of OTPs is kanej). To this end, ao3 tags are your best friend. When you see that delicious combination of tags like "emotional hurt/comfort" and "healing" and "pining" with some sort of moody, vaguely poetic title, that's the good shit right there. That is a MEAL, and you are about to feast.

Anyways. I'm getting off track.

I come to you today with more than just an offering to the potluck; I am here to open up the doors to the whole damn buffet. That's right - FIC RECS. Specifically, fic recs that scratch the particular itch for "post-canon fics where Kaz and Inej figure out how to touch each other, but really the Physical Armor is always symbolic of the Emotional Armor that they have to learn to lower if they hope to ever really Be Together." Do you know what I'm talking about? If you know, you know. It's kanej figuring out intimacy. It's touch, but it's about the way they touch each other's souls. It's a fandom-classic fic trope. FEAST AWAY. (And feel free to reblog and add any of your own favorites! This is certainly not an exhaustive list, just some favorites of mine that fit the bill.)

They're all complete, they're all canon compliant (I had to set some limitations because my list was getting out of hand lol), and they're listed in order of rating (T, M, etc.), but otherwise they're in no particular order, and the summaries and/or most of the excerpts are those provided by the authors on ao3!

Can We Stop? by thegoldenkneazle (Rated G, 220 words, drabble)

Excerpt:

Kaz immediately drew back, rolling over onto his side of the creaky bed to create space between them. “Are you okay?” he asked, dark eyebrows drawing together.

Every Time We Touch by Pokemon67 (Rated G, 1k words, oneshot)

Summary: "Inej hadn't been exaggerating. It wasn’t easy for her either."

Excerpt:

She couldn’t quite recall how they’d ended up here, in Kaz’s room, on his bed. She was perched on his legs, right in front of him, and if she raised her head she could look into his eyes count the little flecks of gold the light always teased to her were there. 

Uncharted Waters by insignificant457 (Rated T, 5k words, oneshot)

Summary: "One step on the long and winding road to intimacy."

Excerpt:

Perhaps Inej should be insulted that she’s been penciled into Kaz’s schedule, fit snugly in between a Crow Club shareholders’ meeting and a parley with the Liddies, but when it comes to taking steps forward in their relationship, romantic spontaneity is not exactly something they can afford.

Council of the Tides by blacktag189 (Rated T, 15k words, multichap)

Excerpt:

With each tiny step forward they made, the urgency to be pulled out to sea still built. She couldn't ignore the brutal truth in that - that no matter how much he gave her here...one day everything would align just right and she would leave. But today wasn't that day.

Discover the Rest by Silver_89 (Rated T, 4k words, oneshot) (note: restricted to ao3 account holders)

Summary: "Post Crooked Kingdom fic where Kaz and Inej have made some progress with touch but touch is not the only progress Inej wants to see from him. She wants to know him too."

Excerpt:

Inej didn’t share much about her time at the Menagerie...And yet she had shared that she struggled with touch too. He understood why. But she didn’t know why he was the same. I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all. It was time he tried taking it off.

All Flowers in Time (Bend Towards the Sun) by laurie_ipsum (Rated M, 10k words, multichap)

Summary: "Does this fandom need yet another Kaz and Inej figure out intimacy fic? Probably not, but I did it anyway."

Excerpt:

Kaz wants all his firsts. It’s written in his eyes, on his face, in every line of his body. She can tell it terrifies him. It terrifies her, too.

One Thousand and One Nights by Trogdor19 (Rated M, 11k words, multichap)

Summary: "One new touch, every night…"

Excerpt:

He dips his head, his cheekbone brushing against hers so quietly it’s like the way she moves. So silkily between shadows no one’s ever quite sure it happened. 'Wait for me,' he breathes. The letters barely given enough air to shape them.

The Trouble With Wanting by A_nonnie_mouse (Rated M, 6k words, oneshot, part of a series)

Summary: "Inej begins to reckon with her own armor so she can have what, and who, she wants."

Excerpt:

“Kaz.” She was frustrated at his self-deprecation. “Please understand. My mind wants you. My heart longs for you. My body…” She struggled for words, the shame rising again, threatening her eyes with tears. “My body isn’t entirely convinced something horrible isn’t going to happen again. This wasn’t because of you. You understand that, don’t you?” 

show me where my armor ends (show me where my skin begins) by kingsandqueensofthebarrel (Rated M, 25k words, oneshot)

Excerpt:

“You’re something I want, Wraith,” he says, his tone all business like. “And I don’t stop until I have what I want.” “That could have sounded romantic.” “It’s a fact.” She hums and squeezes his hand.

collision course by cameliawrites (Rated M, 10k words, oneshot) (shameless self-promotion)

Excerpt:

Inej adjusts to Kaz the way that winter adjusts to spring: she thaws, and thaws, and thaws—and then she utterly melts.

you're a bandit like me, eyes full of stars by sarathedreamer (Rated M, 54k words, multichap, part of a series)

Summary: "Kaz and Inej learning to be with one another after Crooked Kingdom (events in Rule of Wolves might be mentioned in later chapters but you'll be warned!) Basically a slow burn filled with angst and fluff, and little plot :)"

Excerpt:

She blushed and felt a smile tug at her lips, so she looked down at his hand, held up in front of her like an invitation. His fingers were barely shaking. Inej looked back up at his eyes, asking a silent question once more, and Kaz nodded after a short hesitation. She gently cupped his hand in hers, fascinated by the softness of it, by the way two of hers were not quite enough to hold one of his. No one but she could know how graceful Dirtyhands’ weapons were under his gloves, and that was another one of his secrets she would gladly keep close to her chest.

Things We Can Never Do by rainstormdragon (Rated E, 3k words, oneshot, part of a series)

Excerpt:

They had done this before more than once. First words, then their hands on their own bodies. Gasped encouragement and shared fantasies. “Tell me what you’d want to do,” he urged her, not moving even a hair’s breadth toward her, giving her the safety of the space between them. “Tell me what you’d want me to do.”

Closer by lilieswho (Rated E, 7k words, oneshot)

Excerpt:

There is a deep desire crawling under Inej’s skin. It’s a feeling she’s begun to grow used to by now — the feeling of wanting someone, wishing for their touch and hoping they wish for hers back. Not someone’s, no. Kaz’s.

If you've made it all the way to the end of this rec list (hi!! thanks!), you should absolutely reply to or reblog this post with your favorite "kanej figure out intimacy" fic, whether it's on this list or something else! :) Support your local organic pasture-raised fic authors, etc. etc.

[1wishand1thought]

SNEAKY LITTLE FOX

| Kaz Brekker and fem y/n|

Y/n, a secret Crow for all the team but Kaz, finds her boss jerking off in his dorm after she goes to visit him for job matters only.

You can find part 2 here

⚠️ Warnings: obscene words, masturbation.

I apologize in advance for any misspelling/grammatical error🥲 I did proofread it a thousand times before posting it but just in case you find one I'm truly sorry, my main language isn't English. Now let's spice things up a bit bahaha

Kaz Brekker was known for many things as nicknames he has been given. The complete opposite happened with y/n, "the fox", as he once called her.

She was one of the Crows, but no other member of the group knew of her existence, only Kaz knew, part of it was due to the deal they made where she prohibited Kaz to tell anyone else about her.

Kaz was good with it, but he was doubting that feeling now. It's been over a year, and this weird sensation has only gotten bigger, more condescending,  and more... impossible to hold back.

He was 23 years old now, it's been years since Inej left Ketterdam and he was good with it, he knew he wouldn't be able to give her what she deserved anyways. Currently, his mind was foggy with y/n face more than usual, his ears repeated her sarcastic, yet captivating voice. And when it came of her body... ohh.

He has found himself craving for touch as much as he despised skin-to-skin touch.  He has made some progress with it through the years though. He would sit on his desk chair or his bed and would find himself stroking his cock after a long day to get rid of the huge stress.

But what he didn't know, is that y/n was nearby in every one of those moments. She didn't stand there much of course, but it was as if the saints would lead her to see him touching himself just to make her panic. She has caught him doing it several times in the last 5 months. Every time it happened, y/n would leave the second she saw his bare hand grabbing something between his legs,  she would never break his privacy like that.

And, as she never stood over 3 seconds,  she never got the chance of hearing her name leave his mouth. Sometimes as low growls, other times as whimpers, and right now, it was a mix of both.

His mind had a good side beside the terrible one. The bad one was his memories frequently tormenting him, and the good one, was the ability he had to imagine her body like a picture, one he has never seen yet found printed in his mind.

He could imagine how her light brown eyes would look up at his body while his thrusts got faster, going in and out of her, the throbbing sound mixed with the moans echoing in the room. He also imagined how her eyes rolled to the back of her head while she muttered his name, or even better, screamed it.

"Hmmm Kazz!" he imagined her yelling, begging for more, and squirting when she felt his tongue doing magic on her cunt.

He bit his lower lip, his hand wet with his arousal. Shaky, uneven whimpers followed.

A minute later he found himself whimpering, leaving soft moans of pleasure as his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

At that moment y/n was heading to check on him, her second weekly visit to see what schemes Kaz had planned for the Crows to work in, or to see if he had settled a specific mission for her, and her only. She was some paces away from the window of his dorm when she heard him calling her name. At first, she didn't get the words right, it wasn't until she got a bit closer that she heard her name being spoken by a voice, his. She wasn't certain of what was going on in there, it sounded... soft... unusual in Kaz's icy voice.

She swallowed hard when she realized it after reaching the window. The dim light of the moon enlightened the dark room. The brighter spot was hitting Kaz's body.

He was holding his erect length, his hand going up and down, touching the pink tip of his dick as he kept breathing heavily. He was calling her, pleasing her in his mind. He was picturing himself touching her skin, her breasts. Licking her nipples as she grabbed his hair asking for more.

"Y/n... Oh ... fuck" he mumbled, a shaky rough whisper loud enough for her to hear at the window.

She froze, she didn't know what to do. She wanted to leave, run and pretend this never happened as she managed to do several times before.

But this time was different, her light feet were glued to the floor, she couldn't move, and the sight was too... pleasant. Like a tower full of Kruger she couldn't stop staring at. That was until he locked eyes with the figure standing at the entry of the window. He recognized her immediately. His eyes took in an intense feeling of embarrassment mixed with lust.

He wasn't Kaz Brekker anymore, he was Dirtyhands now. He didn't stop his hand movement. The environment grew hotter, his cheeks were flushed from the intensity of the moment. A part of him wanted her to look, the other part wanted to run and never have to look into her eyes again due to the embarrassment he felt.

Y/n looked at him in awe, with flushed cheeks as she never had before, and wide eyes as he jerked himself off in front of her. He never stopped doing it, nor did he avoid eye contact with her bewildered big eyes. Instead, his eyes got darker, deeper, and full of desire.

She felt something growing inside her. The heat was evident. Until he came. It wasn't just a growl, he leaned his head backward, his mouth opened and his eyes shut closed. The vein of his neck was marked showing how intense the pleasure was.

"Oh fuuuck" he whimpered, the white cum splashing over his stomach and covering his bare hand. She, on the other hand, was crossing her legs and biting her lower lip as hard as she could to not let out the loud moan she was holding back. All thanks to the(as much as she would like to deny) oddly appealing sight.

He opened his eyes again, now a small amusing grin plastered on his face. He was enjoying her look. Her still shocked face as she swallowed hard, her mind thinking on what to say.

He was still panting, sweaty loose strings of hair fell over his eyes, he took a deep breath as he grabbed a napkin and cleaned his hand covered in cum, and spoke, eyes locked in hers:

"My sneaky little fox, d'you liked the view?" Again, a crooked smile.

She didn't say anything, but deep inside, she knew she'd liked it. Indeed:

It was quite appealing, Brekker.

_____

Part 2 here

Any who, did you like it? Let me know in the comments, this is my first one-shot so if you have any suggestions on how can I improve my writing I'll take them happily 💓

[nalesnik-z-morela]

‼️"SIX OF CROWS" SERIES SPOILERS‼️

polish version/polska wersja

continuation of this post

Who is Kaz Brekker?

Jordie's brother - he wants to avange him, wants to take revenge for depriving him of his role model, his protection, his leader, his certain future, his security, his friend... and for indirectly traumatizing him for many further years.

bastard of the Barrel - for rich people e.g. for Jan Van Eck: another street rat who is no different than many other crooks. (What's interesting, in the series Kaz says that he's no king of the Barrel - he makes himself equal to others, doesn't talk down to them, unlike e.g. Per Haskell. In "Crooked Kingdom" in the Slat Kaz says to the Dregs: "That is what I do every day. I fight" ((he might have used other words, its my poor translation, but you get what I mean)) - in this way he shows them that he's no better than any of them, they're all equal. Another time when Haskell tells him "Inej is not your property", Kaz answers "She is nobody's property". He's actively against social hierarchy in Ketterdam.)

Dirtyhands - for people of Ketterdam: a swindler, a criminal, a crook. He has much to hide. Probably he has proverbial blood on his hands. There's no person who would know everything about him.

gang leader (after Per Haskell) - for the Dregs: good leader, worthy of trust; for people of Ketterdam: he can win people over and what follows it, he can be dangerous, he can manipulate crowd and information.

demjin (demon) - for Mathias and probably for others in Kaz's surrounding: the one who has their tricks which others don't understand and can't decode. Someone who could make a deal with satan/demon. You need to fear him (or at least beware of him).

the one who broke into the Ice Court (and escaped it, additionally with full squad, a hostage and a tank) - terribly skilful, a genius tactician, he's capable of predicting and planning, he's determined. He constructed a squad that suited the needs of the mission. He has knowledge and connections which let him find proper people to specific tasks. He can do anything.

What else can we say about Ketterdam? (I mean here's the rest)

town of different kinds of people - Kaz found everyone he needed for the Ice Court heist inside of the town;

sewage of society (I'd limit this point only to the Barrel) - we know backstory of Kaz, Wylan, Inej - none of them got there by choice and for sure they aren't the only ones. On the other hand there are many ordinary people who visit the Barrel (Jesper), work there (Nina) or are in a gang (the Dregs etc.) because they want to get money.

[writingriver001]

I write and I'm taking requests 💙

Hello! This post is just fandoms/characters I'll write for, It's summer and I need to do more writing <3

I'll also be adding boundaries for what I will and won't write, with a little about me at the end.

💙 Fandoms and Characters 💙

Obey me! Shall we date? ❤ (Not Nightbringer, sorry)

Lucifer

Leviathan

Asmodeus

Luke (PLATONIC. HE IS MY SON Y'ALL)

I haven't gotten past lesson 17 and had to restart the game~ I am okay with spoilers, and writing the other characters if you can just give me some information on how they act! (Don't wanna write them badly)

The Arcana 💜

Nadia

Asra

Julian

Muriel

Portia

Lucio (May not be the best)

Morga (Lucio's mother)

Nazali (Nadia's sibling, doctor)

Nadia's parents

Valerius

Last Legacy (Fictif) 💙

Felix

Anisa

Scylla

Sage (If I have advice on how he acts?)

Six of Crows 🧡 (I am not too confident on this, sorry)

Kaz Brekker

Nina Zenik

Wylan

Jesper

Please ignore me forgetting their last names I can't be bothered to google

Stardew Valley 💚

Harvey

All the other datable characters (I will have to research, but stardew is brilliant and I absolutely will)

Doctor who 🖤

11th Doctor

15th Doctoe

River Song (My wife guys)

Dream Daddy 💛

Damien

Mary

Hugo

Matt

I might be planning a series fic with this an my ocs

🤍 What I'll write (Limits) 🤍

Yes ~

Fluff

Romantic

Platonic

Headcanons

One shots

Series

Character x Oc

Character x Reader

Character x Character

Lgbt+ (Including Polyamory (Is that right?))

AUs

No ~

Non-con/Cnc

Underage

Anything illegal

Just have common sense pls 🙏

I can try ~

NSFW (I'm asexual and have never done that shit, but I can try guys <3)

Characters in fandoms listed that I am unfamiliar with (For this I need you to tell me about how the character would act in your opinion, just a sentence or two)

💜 About Me 💜

Agender, Asexual, Lesbian I suppose. Autistic as well, I have a wide range of interests (Professor Layton, Moriarty the patriot, Sherlock, etc...)

I like sharks.

I am willing to write anything (within reason) please don't hesitate to request~! If I feel uncomfortable, or don't want to write it, it's simple. I just won't, I won't be angry, or upset for you requesting something, and I will always try my best to do it 💙

I struggle writing speech, and things may be out of character but I promise I'm trying my best.

I am always okay with people giving me advice! Just be polite about it I'm fragile I will cry <3

PLEASE ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT MY OCS.

They kinda work in any fandom. Are they kinda main character vibes? Yes. Leave me be, I'm not harming anyone and I never originally planned to share them 😭

[aanoia]

Always By Your Side

Kaz Brekker x reader

Warnings; slightly ooc Kaz, death, mentions of sickness, blood, could be an interpretation of suicide if you look at the end closely

Words; 1155

Song; Saturn by Sleeping At Last

I've only read the first book in the Six of Crows duology, I haven't yet watched the show.

Anyway, kaz brekker is goated so here we are.

Also, the mention of three taps is supposed to be the I love you thing. I saw another fic that I'll have to find that talked about three taps with Kaz and I wanted to incorporate it and possibly write a separate fic with it as well. Once I find the three taps fic I read I'll for sure tag the creator because their writing was breathtaking.

Requests are welcome and encouraged! If you like my writing and would like me to write for another Fandom you can look at my pinned post for my Fandom list!

Thank you for reading &lt;3

You taught me the courage of stars before you left

Kaz had lost everything. His mother had died during childbirth. His father in a farming accident. His brother due to sickness. He had lost so much. But he always had you. Except, now you too, were lost.

How light carries on endlessly even after death

Kaz watched as the Crow Club was laughing and dancing in honor of you. It was something you would’ve wanted instead of a bunch of people dressed in black while crying. He felt a twinge of guilt in his chest. You would’ve loved this. It was so upbeat and cheerful. It was happy, like you were. Kaz never understood how after everything this Saint forsaken world had thrown at you, you still held a smile on your face and a bounce in your step.

With shortness of breath

You explained the infinite

“Kaz.” You whispered, hand gripping his arm with whatever strength you had left. Thunder rang through the air as heavy rain poured down from the skies.

“Sh, rest, Y/n. Rest.” He instructed softly as he limped painfully with you in his arms, the blood from your abdomen staining his coat.

“Kaz, I love you.” You said carefully, feeling the breath slowly leave your lungs.

“Tell me that when you get better.” He demanded, pressure growing behind his eyes.

How rare and beautiful it is to even exist

“Kaz, you need to promise me something.” He ignored you, looking ahead determined despite his ankle begging for a break. “Kaz, please, look at me.” He didn’t answer, instead gasping as he dropped to the ground, his ankle giving out and tears spilling from his eyes.

“I can’t- I can’t do it.” He confessed. “I can’t lose you too, Y/n.”

You smiled and placed your hand on his cheek.

I couldn’t help but ask you to say it all again

I tried to write it down 

But I could never find a pen

“You’ll never lose me.” You had said gently. “I’ll always be with you.”

“No, you won-”

“Sh, of course I will. I won’t ever leave your side. But I need you to promise me something, Kaz.”

I’d give anything to hear

You say it one more time

“What is it?” Kaz asked as you wiped away his tears.

“Become something more. More than Dirtyhands. Become the boy you once were.” You asked.

“He’s weak.”

“He’s happy, and soft, and sweet. Kaz, I love you so much, as you are now. But please, don’t let this be your life until the day you die. Be kind, Kaz.” You begged as your heart rapidly beat weakly against your chest.

That the universe was made

Just to be seen by my eyes

“I don’t know if I can do it without you.” Kaz said quietly, fear taking over his body.

You laughed weakly, “How many times must I tell you I’m not going anywhere? I’ll always be with you. In here.” You placed your hand on his chest, right above his heart. “And my ghost will haunt you forever.”

Kaz’s chest shook as a wet laugh came from his lips, “I’m so scared.” He said jokingly, but you could tell there was truth to his words.

You used the last of your energy to carefully pull his head down and meet your lips. Your lips were cold which made shivers run through Kaz’s body, reminding him of the sickly feeling of his brother's skin. Kaz shut his eyes tightly once your lips stopped moving and your hand fell limp. He pulled away and rested his forehead on yours as his tears mixed with raindrops. 

Anyone who passed by the scene would be shocked to see the notorious Dirtyhands sobbing over a girl's body, clutching her tightly to his chest as he rocked back and forth. He prayed to Saints he didn’t believe to give you back your breath and the gentle thump of your heart, but they never came.

I couldn’t help but ask you to say it all again

I tried to write it down 

But I could never find a pen

Kaz downed the rest of his drink, sitting down defeated on the stool next to him, looking out the window into the rainy streets. He knew he should be joining the group and doing what you had told him. But he couldn’t find the strength in himself to do so. Kaz was broken. Shattered into a million pieces. He wasn’t sure there was any fixing him.

I’d give anything to hear

You say it one more time

A shiver went down Kaz’s spine as a single crow landed in front the window, gently tapping three times onto the glass. Kaz’s posture straightened as he stared intently at the bird. Its beady eyes stared at him as his own eyes widened. He looked to his side, and although it was empty, he knew someone was there. He knew you were there. Probably watching the dancing with a wide smile on your face, overjoyed that this was all for you. Kaz smiled softly.

That the universe was made

Just to be seen by my eyes

Kaz looked to his side with a small smile, knowing you were there. Watching with a smile as he donated the money his latest heist gave him. He could never stop with the criminal life, it was too late for that. He could, however, bring good from it. He would never tell his fellow Crows what he did with his portion of the money they stole, never admitting to having a kind bone in his body. But he knew that despite it being done in secret, his kindness was enough for you.

With shortness of breath,

I’ll explain the infinite

Kaz carefully placed a chest full of millions of kruge on his desk as his dearest friends stood surprised in the office. Each Crow's eyes had widened, Jespers dramatically falling wide open.

“What is that for?” Wylan asked carefully, unsure of what Kaz had planned.

“Take it.” Kaz said evenly. “Split it evenly amongst yourselves and live the lives you have always dreamed of. Except for you Jesper, you are not allowed to gamble a penny of your kruge or it will be taken from you and donated.”

“Well, one, rude. And, two, Kaz, my dearest friend, what is wrong with you?” Jesper asked.

“Yeah, you’re acting weird and mysterious.” Inej said.

“Weirder and more mysterious than usual.” Nina added, earning a nod of agreement from Matthias.

Kaz smiled at them, genuinely smiled which took them aback. “Your debts are paid off, you’re free. Go. Live your lives.”

“And what are you going to do?” Matthias asked and Kaz looked slightly to his side where he felt your presence. 

“I’m going to meet up with some people from my past. Catch up again.”

How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist

[a-halo-for-you]

Grishaverse Tribute

I'm pissed. I'm vengeful. I'm going to march on Netflix.

The cancellation is uncalled for, now all we will see in return for the snubbing of one of the best series on Netflix, with one of the best fandoms, cast and creators another stupid documentary glorifying a serial killer, another shitty teen show with no plot but plenty of sex (because sexualizing children will be something they always get away with), and another over-marketed pointless action film with some former boxer or wrestler leading it who can't really act more than one type of nice-buff guy.

In my mournful and restless vengeful spirit, I have come up with another playlist dedicated to the Grishaverse, the fans, the cast and Leigh Bardugo. This breaks their hearts so much because we know how excited and passionate they were about telling this story, and to think now so many won't be able to go on and live their beloved characters through to the end. I can't stand it.

"None of this had been fated; none of it foretold. There had been no prophecies of a demon king or a dragon queen, a one-eyed Tailor, Heartrender twins. They were just the people who had shown up and managed to survive. But maybe that was the trick of it: to survive, to dare to stay alive, to forge your own hope when all hope had run out. For the survivors then, Zoya whispered to herself as the people before her knelt and chanted her name. And for the lost." - Leigh Bardugo, Rule of Wolves

I got to dream through them, Shadow and Bone saved my Covid years, when I was alone in a dorm learning online, unable to be with anyone else, with no friends and no family. I had little to no confidence and was stuck in a place that scared me. But then I had Shadow and Bone, I had these amazing characters and when I dove into the books, I found so much more. (A found family is my favourite literary trope for a reason.)

“Kaz leaned back. "What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" asked Inej. "Gun to the back?" said Jesper. "Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina. "You're all horrible," said Matthias." - Leigh Barugo, Six of Crows

This is a playlist for all of us who are mourning and for all of us willing to fight on. I've seen petitions already posted on change.org, lets sign them all, share them all and try our best to change this while we can. Warrior Nun got their season 3. Who says we can't? Who says we shouldn't? Brick by Brick we will build our season 3, or we'll go down trying.

“Have any of you wondered what I did with all the cash Pekka Rollins gave us?" "Guns?" asked Jesper. "Ships?" queried Inej. "Bombs?" suggested Wylan. "Political bribes?" offered Nina. They all looked at Matthias. "This is where you tell us how awful we are," she whispered.” - Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

Pardon the ecclectic taste of this long playlist, but there are so many types of song that I feel fit the plot, the charcaters and themes as well as their relationships to each other. This has sparked inspiration in me to create more playlists catering to the Grishaverse and I'll do that alongside my usual playlist posts.

I would also like to say that this playlist isn't just mine, it's for everyone and I would love for any fans of the show or books to let me know if they have any songs that they love to be added to the playlist and I will do so.

There are over 60 songs on this playlist, so I'm not going to write them all here for obvious reasons, I hope none of you mind that.

For our founding mother Leigh Bardugo. For the Six of Crows; Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar. For our S+B crew; Alina Starkov, Malyen Oretsev, The Darkling, Baghra Morotzova, Nikolai Lantsov, Zoya Nazyalensky, Genya Safin, David Kostyk, Tolya Yul-Bataar, Tamar Kir- Bataar, Nadia and Adrik Zhabin.

Let the revival of Season 3 be our final grand mission.

Lets stream the show, post more art, more fanfics, more posts, more petitions. Let's fight for what we can.

No Mourners, No Funerals.

'Yuyey sesh'

'Ni weh sesh'

[savethegrishaverse]

Hello Third Army members! By now, you’ve probably seen our twitter party adverts on how each day we will celebrate a different piece of the Grishaverse - And now, we are bringing this party to Tumblr!

We at the ‘Save Shadow and Bone’ Coalition are going to spend each week giving out prompts and boosting content about our Grishaverse, and we need your help! Come join us, send us your fanfics, post your art, and make sure to use hashtag #Third Army so we can see each post!

This week (January 7th to January 13th) we want to talk all about parallels! Between Shadow and Bone ships like the slowburn of Kanej, to other fandoms ships Like Locklucy or Wolfstar. Let’s compare characters like Kaz Brekker to Yennefer of Vengerberg, and draw parallels between Alina Starkov and She-ra! I want to hear all you have to offer on the subject! Under the cut are more prompts for you to check out!

Writing prompt: “As the cut sliced through the heartrender with such ease, with an efficiency that she had only seen from the Darkling’s own hands, Alina wondered if she had actually destroyed the Black Heretic - or merely become him.” Continue the story! Write what you think would happen to Alina, now that she has used merzost and can summon shadows!

Writing prompt: Suddenly, your favourite Grishaverse character is stranded in another universe! How do they adapt?

Art prompts: Many Saints in our culture have stained glass windows depicting their stories - Saint Michael, Saint Agnes of Rome, Saint Peter, etc. Draw up your own stained glass window for our Sankta Alina!

Art Prompts: draw chibi or anime style SAB characters! Cross them over with popular shows like Jujitsu Kaisen or Death Note!

Photoshop Challenges: Edit the Grishaverse cast to look like they're in another fandoms show! Or, throw your favorite characters from other sources of media into the Grishaverse!

Photoshop Challenges: Let’s play a round of ‘Say Yes to the Dress’: dress up a Shadow and Bone character in costumes from other shows/movies!

Video Edit Prompt: Do a Shadow and Bone or Six of Crows spinoff intro in the style of another show?

Engagement prompts: Analyzing Alina’s story, we see several moments where she shows true compassion, but also true anger and grief. She shows that there cannot be light without darkness, but there also cannot be darkness without light. Hope has no weight without fear, but fear cannot extinguish hope. This seems to be the theme of how Alina and the Darkling exist throughout the bulk of the story, and once he is gone the balance is taken with him. How would this affect Alina going forward?

Just as Inej has her knives, what other characters stand out when picking their weapons?

Share your happy or hopeful stories about Grishaverse as a fandom space, and tell us how the campaign has effected you! Tell us all about the friends that you've made, and the kindness you’ve seen within the fandom!