#can you tell I made this in like 5 minutes

[dytabytes]

As a dentist, I have to slide in here with some notes:

1) If you want to keep your teeth healthy, vaping is actually, unfortunately, a really bad option. The carriers used for most vape juice are often some kind of vegetable glycerin, which will stick to the teeth, significantly weaken your tooth enamel and promote bacteria growth, which leads to cavities. It might not stain them as much, but if you want to protect the look of your teeth, vaping is definitely not the way to go.

2) Marijuana use affects the effectiveness of lidocaine, which is one of the most commonly used dental anaesthetics in North America. This means that, if you want to be numb in the dental chair, I recommend trying to take a break on use for at least a week, if not more, before going for treatment. That said, if you really need some help calming down (and I know a lot of people do), tell your dentist so that they can change their treatment plan! Depending on the patient, sometimes I'll give a double dose of anaesthetic right off the bat, or I'll switch what I'm using altogether for something that's not as affected by marijuana use! Your dentist wants you to be numb just as much as you do, believe me!

3) Night grinding is often related to a sleep breathing issue. If you're a clencher or grinder and/or you snore, I'd strongly recommend speaking to your doctor about a sleep test before having a nightguard made, because treating the sleep issue might negate the need for the nightguard altogether! This would either be because you won't be grinding anymore, or because the doctor might put you into a specialized kind of nightguard made to treat sleep breathing problems. If you've already have a nightguard made and you find you can't sleep with it, or you're taking it out at night because it's uncomfortable, that is also a sign that you might have a sleep breathing issue. A normal nightguard takes up just a little more space in the mouth, which decreases your airway size, and if you already have an airway that is too small, your body will respond by saying "I don't like this".

4) Xylitol is actually more than a saliva stimulation item! It's what we call a "cariostatic" sugar; the bacteria in your mouth can't process it, so it slows down their growth. Because of that, I actually also recommend people use it if, say, you have trouble brushing regularly because of mental illness or sensation trouble, or if just get cavities a lot. That said, be careful with how much you eat! The bacteria in your mouth can't process xylitol, but neither can the bacteria in your gut. If you have too much, you might end up with bloating or other tummy trouble. Everything in moderation! 5) Last tip! A lot of people out there have trouble affording dental care. If this is an issue for you, I strongly recommend searching out if you have a dental school or hygiene college near you. Students are watched over super carefully, so the work you get done at those institutions will be very thorough, and schools often give steep discounts on price to encourage people to come. You will, however, likely be paying for your treatment with time, instead of money. It's been a while, but as an example, when I was in school a root canal at a dental office would have taken an 60-90 minutes and cost over $1000. In school, the same root canal would be 6 hours, split into 2 appointments... but would have only cost $75. Stay healthy, friends c:

STUFF NOBODY EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT TEETH (and how to take care of them if you are poor and/or depressed)

Contrary to what the US health industry would have you believe, your teeth are NOT luxury face bones. You need them. Healthy teeth are a cornerstone of good health in general for a lot of reasons. You can’t eat well without them. You need them to speak. And tooth bias is real.

This makes me very sad because I love teeth. I am not a dentist. I’m a biological anthropologist whose expertise is oral disease and the evolutionary anatomy of teeth. My dad’s an oral surgeon and I worked in his office from the tender and illegal age of 8 to the ripe old age of 18, which is when I went to college. At 12, I was assisting with the disposal of biowaste, aka packaging up the teeth to send them to dental schools. I live, breathe, sleep, and occasionally eat teeth. I found a human incisor on my floor this morning and wasn’t even surprised. I study how teeth go bad partly so that I can help living people protect the teeth they’ve got. It’s my goal with this post to teach you about a couple of different types of procedures and oral injuries, as well as what you can do to help keep your teeth functional. So in this post, what I am going to do is outline a few common things that can go wrong with your teeth, how they happen, and how to catch them before they get bad. A lot of the advice in this post is for people who maybe can’t get to the dentist for a cleaning and checkup every six months. This post is also gonna be LONG AS HELL and there is going to be a separate post called “luxury face bone hacks for the busy/broke/b’mentally ill” or something like that, so like. If you don’t like super long posts, just hit this one with a like and actually read through that one.

First, let’s talk about dental anatomy.

What Are Teeth?

Teeth are extremely cool. They’re these amazing little packages of dentin pulp, protected by enamel, nestled into the jaw like truffles in a box of chocolates, held in place with a teeny tiny ligament. They’re gorgeous– enamel is a beautiful substance, translucent and opalescent. Teeth are also extremely weird when you think about them. You have these weird not-bone things emerging from holes in your jawbones. They’re snapped into place with a biological bunjy cord and you can actually SPRAIN THEM if you put too much pressure on them.

Here are some important things to know about teeth!

First, the nerves in your teeth were never meant to be exposed to the air. They only process stimulus one way: pain. This means that when you get a cavity or do anything else that exposes the nerve, it is going to hurt like a bitch.

Your teeth may come loose! Usually they stay put and go back to normal in a day or two. Don’t panic. This is usually the result of you spraining your dental ligament that holds the tooth in place.

Root canals suck but they can prevent dental abscesses. Dental abscesses can kill you. If they spread and get into your sinuses, they can cross the blood/brain barrier and you will die. This doesn’t happen much any more, but in rare cases… it can.

The phrase “like pulling teeth” is a misnomer. Pulling teeth is extremely easy if you know what you’re doing. Extractions are usually a very simple procedure. What’s complicated is things like root canals and setting up implants, which, in the case of implants is the literal opposite of pulling teeth.

Pregnancy will fuck up your teeth because a.) the fetus is leaching your vital essence and other nutrients and b.) your hormones are telling a lot of ligaments in your body to loosen up to get ready to give birth. Sometimes wires get crossed and other ligaments at non-mobile joints get the loosen up message, too. Just be sure to keep up your dental hygiene regimen during pregnancy and you’ll be fine.

Your gum tissue isn’t just weird wet skin. It’s a mucous membrane that protects the mouth. It can get diseased and inflamed, so pay attention to it! Also, there’s a lot of blood vessels so if you poke yourself with something, you’ll bleed like a stuck pig for a minute. The kind of bleeding you should be worried about is prolonged bleeding, where you see blood welling up around your teeth for no apparent reason.

Now that you’ve been equipped with some fun facts, lets talk about diseases and procedures.

Braces: if you’re reading this, you probably don’t need them

First: Pediatric orthodontia is largely a scam. People who put standard braces on their child before that child has lost all of their baby teeth are stupid and causing their child needless pain because those teeth are going to fall out anyways and the alignment of the adult teeth was decided long, long ago. The kids who NEED orthodontic intervention are kids with bad crossbites/underbites/overbites. This requires specialized headgear most of the time and is more intense than the standard braces because they are made to solve a much bigger problem. The standard bracket-and-wire braces? Don’t put those on a child. They won’t help. Also, your kid doesn’t have their third molars yet, and those are the molars most likely to come in twisted anyways.

As an adult, you may want braces for cosmetic reasons or for comfort reasons. This is a CHOICE that is YOURS TO MAKE. If your dentist suggests you need braces, ask why. You don’t have to get them. Now,If you have certain kinds of dental overlap- like, your lateral incisors have been pushed behind your frontals- then yeah, you should get braces. But is it the end of the world if you don’t get braces? No.

Wisdom tooth removal: you might not need it

The human jaw is in a state of evolutionary mismatch right now. Basically, our last molar, the third molar, doesn’t come in until we’re an adult. Unfortunately, thanks to ten thousand years of agriculture, give or take a few millennia, we have much more gracile jaws than our ancestors. There’s not always enough room for it. Now, this isn’t true for everyone, because no two skulls are identical and all, but sometimes there is a condition where you really should get those suckers out. If they are impacted, or coming in sideways, they can push your other teeth out of alignment and cause jaw issues down the line. If they come up straight, don’t worry about it.

Cavities: you need to get these taken care of

Cavities are a pain in the ass and are honestly the main reason you should go to the dentist for checkups, so that they can take the x-ray of your mouth and see how any potential trouble zones are progressing. You should call a dentist and seek help if you notice pain that persists over three days, as that’s an indicator of something more serious than just a sprain.

Tooth Grinding: this is a problem

If you grind your teeth, your dentist may recommend a night guard. Actually listen to them about this. Grinding your teeth can cause major jaw alignment problems that are a pain to fix, so just bite the silicone and suck it up. Also maybe talk to a therapist if you can, because grinding can be a result of stress/anxiety.

Whitening your teeth: bad idea

First off, your teeth ain’t supposed to be white. Enamel is not white. Enamel is translucent and pearlescent, so its actual color is very hard to pin down. Your teeth are naturally going to look more ivory-colored over time. That’s just part of being human and having teeth. Embrace it. You are a badass omnivore with thirty-two gorgeous enamel teeth. They weren’t put in your mouth to look pretty, they were put in your mouth to feed you.

Second: Whitening your teeth weakens your enamel. Once your enamel’s gone, it ain’t coming back, baby. There are some gentler whitening methods, like whitening toothpaste, but these are only going to give you about one to two shades worth of improvement. If you have extremely stained teeth and you want to whiten them, make sure you talk to your dentist about all the risks. Unfortunately, there is no truly safe and effective home-style (read: not a million gotdang dollars) remedy for whitening teeth.

There are a few that are kicking around, but seriously, some of them are dangerous. Do NOT rub wood ash on your teeth. That’s lye. Don’t put that in your mouth. Do NOT use actual bleach, hair dye developer, or non-dental peroxide gel. They are poisonous. DO NOT PUT ACETONE ON YOUR TEETH i have seen this exactly once and the person came into my dad’s office with chemical burns on their gums and lips. I do NOT want to see this again.

It is a misconception that brushing your teeth keeps them looking white. Brushing your teeth removes plaque and biofilm, but those buildups don’t actually stain the enamel itself. Instead, really the only way to keep your teeth looking light is to pay attention to what you’re putting in your mouth. If you’re a tobacco user, vape! Tar is a major staining agent. Coffee’s also a major stainer, and the big trick there is to put a little milk in it. See, enamel staining doesn’t come from the color of the food. It comes from chemical properties. Acidic foods stain because acid damages enamel. Food with high levels of tannins, like coffee or tea, stain because the tannins change the PH of the mouth. So what you should do to avoid staining is balance your mouth PH by eating something basic after eating something acidic. Add a lil milk to your coffee or tea to weaken its acidity just a bit. Swish with water afterwards to help clear the acid. Don’t eat lemons or any other acidic food after drinking coffee. Why would you want to eat lemons after drinking coffee, anyways? Seems like a weird flavor combo to me.

And while we’re on the subject…

MOUTH CHEMISTRY

What’s in your mouth? Your teeth, your gums, your tongue, your spit… yeah, your spit. Saliva’s important. It’s probably THE most important thing in protecting your teeth because salivary production constantly washes the teeth, clearing off as much bad bacteria as possible. If you have an issue with saliva production, you should drink as much water as you can throughout the day, and get a bottle of dry mouth tabs for nighttime. Or daytime, if they don’t bother you. This is really important because dry mouth is a major side effect for a lot of drugs, like anti-depressants. This is actually a huge part of my research- the population I study used a natural painkiller, but in the end its use caused them more pain because the way it works, it decreases the efficacy of the salivary glands. They stop making sufficient saliva, the teeth dry out, the mouth PH changes, and the bacteria that destroy enamel go buckwild. If you can’t make your own spit, store bought is fine. Water for the day, tabs for the night.

Now, you might think that ok, acid isn’t great, let’s eat more basic foods to balance that out. You can, but it… isn’t great. Your saliva is naturally acidic for a reason, and if you neutralize it completely, that ALSO messes with your teeth. You should be drinking plain water as much as possible.

Seltzer and Soda

Some people think seltzer may hurt your teeth, but it really won’t… unless it’s citrus-flavored. Reason: citrus seltzer uses citric acid as a flavoring agent, and that messes with your teeth. So if you want to drink citrus seltzer, drink it with a meal or with food. Don’t sip it slow over the day.

Soda, on the other hand is a goddamn nightmare. The acid’s kind of a problem but the sugar… dear god the sugar. So. your teeth are covered in a bacterial biofilm. Some of these bacteria excrete acid, and that’s what gives you cavities. This is another part of my research- looking at how cavity prevalence changes as sweetening agents and sugar availability changes. As different carbohydrates enter the diet, populations’ disease responses change. I know more about this than probably anybody else in the world, and here is what I know: the best thing you can do for your teeth is stop drinking American soda.

It’s the corn, you guys. The chemical compounds in corn make the cavity-causing bacteria kick into overdrive. Sodas sweetened with high fructose corn syrup create the perfect environment for these dudes to excrete out a storm. Sugary beverages in general promote cavities, but NOTHING does it like sodas sweetened with high fructose corn syrup or any other corn byproduct. Try to limit your soda and juice consumption and if you can, make sure that when you do have them, you’re getting some food,too.

Other Acids

Ok this next part is going to deal with eating disorders. I’m going to be talking about some of the side effects of bulimia, what they can do to your teeth, and how you can take care of them. Eating disorders are serious business and I hope if you need this section you are in supportive recovery and have the love and support and resources you need. If you don’t want to read about what this can do to your teeth, scroll real quick until you seen the big green text.

If your teeth are in frequent contact with stomach acid, acid etching can be a real problem. Your enamel is tough but stomach acid is gnarly, and your gums don’t have that same protection. If you find yourself vomiting frequently, for whatever reason, try to swish water around in your mouth afterwards to help clean it out. I know that’s not the thing that’s likely on your mind after that, but a lot of what we’re doing here is damage control. I’m not here to judge you in the slightest. I’m just here to help you with your teeth.

Do not brush your teeth immediately after vomiting. The enamel is weaker, and you can cause even more damage by brushing too hard. Wait for at least an hour until after you’ve rinsed your mouth to avoid spreading the acid around.

You can also add some (1-2 tsp) baking soda to the water you rinse with, if you feel ok with doing that. It will taste gross and salty but it will help neutralize the acid. You just rinse with this, you don’t swallow.

ok that part is over

TOOTH HACKS

This is the funnest part, I get to tell you good ways to take care of your teeth that require very few spoons and very little money!

Brush ‘em twice a day. Once when you get up to clear out whatever happened the night before, and once before you fall asleep. You can brush more but you don’t have to. Use a soft-bristled brush and whatever toothpaste you like. If you hate mint, kid toothpaste that tastes like bubblegum or berries is totally fine!

Don’t want to get out of bed? totally fine. Use a finger toothbrush! these are designed for babies which is actually great because they are SUPER soft. If you have sensitive gums, these are going to be really helpful.

Don’t have access to a finger toothbrush? honest to god you can just dip your finger in water (though a mix of water and baking soda or water and salt is better) and brush your teeth with just your finger. The point of this isn’t to freshen your breath or anything, it’s just to get the biofilm off of your teeth and protect them.

Floss. This gets the biofilm out from between your teeth and promotes good gum health. Don’t just run it between the teeth- you need to floss below the gumline a little bit to help clean out plaque.

If you don’t have the spoons to do your whole mouth, floss between your molars if you can.

There’s lots of products that are great for people who can’t go through the whole flossing routine. Pre-threaded flossers are ideal because they’re designed for minimal effort and maximum gain. These are also killer for people with physical disabilities that affect hand dexterity.

If flossing hurts because you have sensitive gums, a water flosser can really help. This is more expensive but will last a very long time.

You can also get topical numbing gel that you can smear on your gums when flossing. Just be careful that you’re not flossing too hard because you can’t feel it. This brand is kind of expensive but it has a nice minty flavor. If you have a dollar and a way to get there, I saw Orajel at Dollar Tree yesterday… when I was buying a bunch of those pre-threaded flossers to throw in my car. I oughta do a Dollar Tree field trip to show you like, what products are available at the absolute cheapest in the US. Dollar Tree has a LOT of good dental options.

There’s a tiktok that says you can use a strand of hair to floss. This is a bad idea. A single strand of hair is likely to break and can cut into your gums. If you want to use hair as floss, you need to use a couple of strands twisted together. Go slow and gentle if you’re using hair. Obviously actual floss is better but this isn’t “perfect dental tips for perfect people,” this is “life sucks but your teeth don’t gotta.”

If you can’t floss or can’t brush, gargle. Put two tsp of baking soda in a glass of warm water. Swish it around, spit it out. If you can do that, you’ve helped clear out biofilm and bacterial waste.

Prioritize your teeth. You only get two sets and you lose the first one by the time you’re twelve. If you can only do one hygiene thing today, make it be your teeth.

Eat some pineapple. Bromelain, which is only found in pineapple, is super good at protecting enamel.

That’s… all I got for you now. Take care of your teeth!

[hyperions-light]

Okay so clearly the Lighthouse book club is kind of like movie night except those haven’t been invented yet

But hypothetically

Here’s movie night with the crew

Harding: you know it’s a complete gore fest. Every single Saw movie you’ve ever heard of, plus the ones you haven’t, Hostel, Terrifier, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, etc. you definitely lose some people before the night is over bc it’s just TOO bloody but at least Harding and Taash are having fun. Lucanis and Davrin sit there complaining about how that’s not what it looks like when you draw and quarter someone

Neve: It’s all noirs, murder mysteries and psychological thrillers. Maybe some Blade Runner for diversity. She solves the mystery 5 min into the movie but won’t tell you the answer. Bellara is taking notes on everything and Neve looks over occasionally and nudges her in the right direction. The tragic antagonists make Emmrich sad

Bellara: Think she’d do a little bit of everything? But there’s definitely at least four documentary feature films on wildly variable subjects. She’s going to put on like Planet Earth, and then an Elvhen history one, and then like How It’s Made for some number of hours and then you look up and you’re halfway through the extended edition of Lord of the Rings

Lucanis: oh man. You’re watching Atonement, The Notebook, 50 First Dates, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle; whatever corny romcom you can think of. And then he’s playing the entire catalogue of Hallmark movies. You thought this movie marathon was only one night? Ha! This guy is mainlining caffeine and hasn’t slept in four days, you’re going to exist in a haze of sleep deprivation interspersed by emotional confession scenes. Have fun

Davrin and Taash: they are teaming up to make you watch the entire Fast and the Furious franchise, all the John Wicks, the Independence Days (I think it has sequels?), the Expendables, the Top Guns, I don’t know any more action movie franchises. Things are going to explode, preferably with a lot blood so that Harding is happy too. When everyone falls asleep Davrin puts on Marley and Me to watch with Assan

Emmrich: Mr Art House Cinema over here. I hope you love reading subtitles because at least 50% of it is in other languages and involves people soliloquizing for three minutes at a time and then staring at barren landscapes forlornly. Also at they’re all preoccupied with death in some way. What was that movie where Daniel Day Lewis was a clothing designer and his wife was poisoning him but he was into it? You watch that. You only watch a movie per week though because you have to have time to think about the artistic merit of each one

*I forgot Bellara would love Mythbusters

+ check reblogs for bonus features

[lastoneout]

It really is kinda awful how many job listings will just straight up lie to you about what you "need" to be able to do to screen out disabled applicants. Like fucking Safeway will be looking for a cashier and the listing is like "you ABSOLUTELY MUST be able to stand for 8+ hours a day, NO exceptions" as if you can't do everything required to run the check out line sitting down. Old Navy is like "you must be able to understand body language and facial expressions and make eye contact" like sorry dude I think autistic people can sell t-shirts just fine without doing all that, like honestly what the hell does understanding facial expressions have to do with telling someone where the clearance section is. Don't really think the customers at TJ Max are going to go full Purge mode if one employee can only perform a task requiring fine motor skills 15 times a minute instead of 30, like idk maybe you don't need the lines to move thst fast actually. Maybe everyone can chill out and wait a second. I think the people at Starbucks will be okay if the barista isn't great at multitasking and can't make small talk with every single customer while also running the drive through and making 15 different drinks.

It's such horseshit, none of these job require these things but they can just lie and say they do and disabled people will clear out because we know it's just a big neon sign saying "crippled freaks need not apply", even if that sentence is followed by some fake ass fluff about you being an equal opportunity employer. Like you would not be insisting your underpaid cashiers be able to "make eye contact and understand body language" if you cared about not discriminating against disabled people, that wording specifically is straight out of the DSM-5, what you're doing is fucking obvious and pure goddam evil.

The best part too is then you get denied for SSI benefits because you "can" work, they don't actually care that every single job listing is tailor made to tell us to fuck right off. The potential to be able to work and actually being able to be hired are too different things entirely but sure. I can work. If I find an employer that doesn't care that I'm in a wheelchair and can't make eye contact or life heavy objects or that I need to only work 4 hours a day so I still have the energy to take care of myself outside of work and also have to take 10 days a month off for doctor's appointments and unpredictable health flares. And also crucially does NOT require a fucking degree or drivers license. Find me a job like that that and I'd be overjoyed to work.

But trust me, jobs that can accommodate me simply do not fucking exist, and unfortunately for all of us that is very much by design.

[inmyheaddd]

walkin’ out the door with your bags — part 6

⤷ “i’m not the type to run, i know we’re having fun,”

summary: you and gigi are peacefully enjoying your day, when you find out, grayson’s… back? and he wants to talk. what could go wrong? wc: 3.0k masterlist || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5

14 years old… 

you found him hiding in the library.  

he was slumped in the corner, knees pulled to his chest, head buried in his arms. at first, you weren’t sure it was him—grayson hawthorne never looked so… small. 

his usually pristine shirt slightly wrinkled like he’d been tugging at the hem, and it wasn’t tucked in. he didn’t look straight at you when you stepped in, but he didn’t tell you to leave either.  

“what do you want?” his voice cracked, but he tried to sound cold.  

you didn’t answer. instead, you sat down beside him, legs crossed, like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

he blinked at you, waiting for an explanation, but you just shrugged. years of knowing each other, and it always went down like this. 

“company.” you picked a random book off the nearest shelf and flipped it open. “you can pretend i’m not here.”

he didn’t reply.

minutes passed. long enough that you thought maybe he really would ignore you. at one point, you began actually reading the book you were pretending to read, and nearly forgot about the boy beside you.

but then, out of nowhere, he spoke.

“i don’t know what to do.” he admitted slowly. “there’s this girl… emily,” he said, his voice low, and you felt your heart beat faster. “and… my brother. jameson.”

your chest tightened, though you weren’t sure why. your kept your gaze fixed on the pages of your book, but your hands had stopped turning the pages.

“what about them?” you asked carefully, glancing at him for a second.

he ran a hand through his hair. “she’s… complicated. and jameson—he doesn’t think. he just jumps into things, never stops to think what it might do to everyone else.”

you hesitated, breath hitching as you studied the way he wouldn’t look straight into your eyes. whatever this was, clearly meant a lot.

he continued, looking down at the floor. “it gets repetitive. jameson, emily—they don’t think about the damage until it’s too late. and then they leave me to clean it up. and stupidly, for some reason, i do. i always do.”

you’ve seen grayson sad before, but this was different. he looked… lost. and angry. and for someone like grayson, who always carried himself like he had the whole world in order, it was jarring.

“you’re allowed to be mad, you know,” you said.

that made him pause. “i’m not mad,” he said, but the words sounded like a blatant lie.

your shoulders were barely touching , but the act alone felt larger than anything else. 

you tilted your head, a soft smile growing on your face. “okay, then you’re… frustrated? dissapointed? annoyed? irritated? pick your adjective.”

that earned the tiniest flicker of a smile, and your chest felt a little lighter, but then it disappeared just as quickly. he looked at you then, and something about the way his eyes searched your face made your breath catch.

“sometimes, i think you’re the only person who actually sees me,” he said quietly.

your heart stuttered, and for a second, you couldn’t think of anything to say. 

but then you smiled, “of course i see you,” you rolled your eyes jokingly like he hadn’t just sincerely confirmed that he really did see you as a friend, after years of just feeling like you pestered him. 

your cheeks reddened, “i’m your friend, that’s what i’m here for.” 

“but, you know,” you continued, “you’re surrounded by people who care about you,” you said softly, taking the focus away from you, and back to being there for grayson. “just let yourself see it. don’t push them away.”

his head snapped up at that, his sharp eyes meeting yours. “but people never just… stay.” he mumbled. “they have their own lives, their own motives.”

you stayed. you always would. “that doesn’t mean you have to shut everyone out,” you said, your voice steadier now.

“not everyone’s going to hurt you, grayson. but you won’t know that if you keep closing the door before anyone gets close. i mean, i annoyed you for so many years straight even when you pushed me away.” you said. 

“not everyone has my extreme level of patience and willingness to accept moody brooding.” you joked to lighten the moment, but there was truth behind it, he couldn’t expect people to stick around if he pushed them away.

he stared at you for a long moment, and something in his expression cracked, like he wanted to believe you but didn’t quite know how yet. 

he looked back at the floor, “you never actually irritated me,” he admitted, “and i never hated you. perhaps you’re right, i don’t… i don’t like to let people in.” 

you shrugged casually, “i’m always right.” 

he looked at you with a newfound softness in his eyes. “you’re annoyingly persistent, you know that?” he said finally, your shoulders still brushing against each other. 

“oh, i know.” you grinned. “if i wasn’t, we wouldn’t be friends right now.” you said with a small smile. “someone’s gotta stick around to remind you you’re not as alone as you think.”

for a while, neither of you said anything. grayson leaned his head back against the wall, letting out a long, quiet breath. 

that was when you knew he was replaying your words, letting them sink in—even if he wouldn’t say it outloud. 

— 

present

after days of confusion and radio silence from grayson, you finally told yourself that you were done overthinking. gigi had dragged you to your favorite ice cream shop for a much-needed distraction. 

the two of you sat at your usual table near the front, the smell of waffle cones and the soft hum of background music lulling you back into some sense of normalcy. that was until gigi leaned closer, her voice a hushed whisper.

“don’t look now, but…” gigi trailed off, her eyes going behind you once again. “grayson is kind of, um, here. and sitting behind you.” 

considering gigi had made very careful effort to not even mention his name around you — even when you persisted you didn’t care— hearing graysons name come from her lips stunned you for a moment, then you realized what she had just said. 

“what?” you whispered in shock, and then you turned around before you could think it twice. 

there were quite a few people in the shop, so there was quiet chatter mixed with the background music, but it all seemed to silence. 

but there he was, grayson hawthorne, sitting in the back of the empty icecream shop, glasses on typing on his computer.

‘who did he think he was?’ you thought, ‘coming to our— my place? the one that i introduced him to?’ 

you focused on the anger so you wouldn’t feel anything else. 

what on earth was he doing here? who the hell comes to an ice cream shop and doesn’t even get anything? and does what, office work? and who—

he looked up through his glasses, and you realized to late that you were sort of… full blown staring. 

he met your eyes for the briefest of seconds as you turned your head back around. 

“holy cow…” gigi mumbled as she looked down at her icecream, “he’s giving you a major longing stare right now.”

“okay,” you hummed, raising your eyebrows momentarily in lieu of a shrug that he would he able to see, “i don’t care.”

“sure you don’t,” she replied knowingly, dragging her spoon through her melting sundae. you gave her a look that said you didn’t agree, and that you seriously did not care, but she didn’t say anything. 

a beat passed before gigi suddenly grinned. “okay. in five seconds, i’m giving him a major angry glare.” she mumbled under her breath. 

“gigi, do not.”

“three…

“seriously, don’t.”

“two… one. i’m doing it!”

“gigi!”

she tilted her head back up, and bless her heart, gave her best attempt at a seething glare at grayson. 

it was sort of impossible for her to look angry with her wide blue eyes, no matter how hard she furrowed her brows. 

and she didn’t let up at it for a few seconds, then raised her eyebrows — half surprised and half amused. “ha,” she grinned to herself and fisted the air. “he looked away first. loser.” 

he was probably just crazily confused, you reckoned. 

“okay,” you chuckled under your breath, your cheeks reddening by the second. “um, should we leave now?”

“no,” gigi whined, taking a bite of her icecream. “that’ll make it obvious we’re mad. besides, i haven’t finished my icecream.” 

“well, i think that look you gave him made it more obvious,” you told her, and she only laughed as she shook her head. “but alright.” 

it wasn’t long before you left. you didn’t even have an appetite any more, and you were too overly aware of a presence behind you to focus on anything else. gigi finished her icecream promptly. 

the drive home was quiet. gigi hummed along to the radio, her mood as bright as ever, but you couldn’t shake the tightness in your chest. 

your thoughts churned, questions you’d been trying to bury for a few days swirling all over again.

“you’re quiet,” gigi said after a while, her tone soft. she glanced at you, concerned, but you only shook your head, trying to force a small smile.

“just tired,” you mumbled.

gigi didn’t push, and you could tell she didn’t buy it.

you pulled into the driveway and sat there for a moment, the car engine ticking softly as it cooled. gigi patted your arm before grabbing her bag and heading inside.

you smiled and nodded, muttering something like ‘i’ll meet you inside,’ and you stayed behind for a moment, staring at the steering wheel.

your phone was put on silent, then you scrolled through your notifications. 

grayson 

— Hi, I believe I saw you and Gigi today

you

— yeah haha i think gigi told me she saw you  i thought you were gone for 8 days? — it’s nice to see you back

grayson 

— Likewise. — I think we should talk, It’s been long overdue. 

a scoff escaped before you could stop it. the audacity.

your fingers moved before your brain could catch up.

you

— ok — talk then 

grasyon

— Would you be alright with talking in person?

you 

— yeah sure whatever — where?

grayson

— I’ll come to you.

you

— maybe not — i don’t want to disturb gigi

grayson

— Our park spot, then?

you

— ok

your heart slammed in your chest. you sat there for a moment, staring at the screen wordlessly, trying to process what just happened. 

our? how could he even still use that word?

this was happening, you were going to talk to grayson for real this time. you anticipated it wouldn’t end good. things with him were rarely easy.

you put on your headphones to numb your thoughts, pulled on a hoodie, and made your way out the house. 

the playground was completely empty, which was usually how it was when you and grayson used to go. the sun was already beginning to set when you walked out of your house, and it was fully dark once you arrived, making your way toward your spot. the bench.

it wasn’t anything special—just a worn wooden bench tucked away at the edge of the playground. but it had been yours. you and grayson’s.

he was already there when you arrived, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees, staring at the ground like it might have the answers he needed.

you sat down on the opposite end of the bench, keeping a deliberate distance. “okay,” you said, crossing your arms. “talk.” the park was eerily quiet, the air cooling rapidly as the sun finally disappeared behind the trees. the bench felt cold under your fingers as you sat down, the weight of the moment settling in.

his eyes flicked to yours, and for the first time, you thought you saw a hint of guilt there. 

you were both silent for a few seconds, before you looked away, down at the floor.

“fine, if you won’t talk, i will.” you muttered. 

“grayson,” you sighed, “you can’t just—” you started, your voice breaking slightly before you caught yourself. 

you cleared your throat, willing the tears to stay put. “you can’t just disappear and then show up like nothing happened. like i’m supposed to just... what? forget it?”

he inhaled, then hesitated. “you know, i never meant it to be like this. i didn’t mean for it to feel like that.” he said quietly, his tone so calm that it just made you more angry.

“feel like what, grayson?” you finally snapped your head towards his. “like you were ignoring me? like you couldn’t be bothered to let me know what was going on? because that’s exactly what it felt like.”

his jaw tightened, but he didn’t say anything.

“that’s it?” you scoffed, followed by a bitter laugh as you sat up straight. “you disappear, you come back, and all you’ve got is ‘i didn’t mean for it to feel like that?’”

he wielded silence like a weapon, just like he always had.

you continued, still. “what’s going on with you? you’re acting so— so different, i barely even recognize you.”

he let out a breath as he looked away, running a hand through his hair. “please, don’t make this harder than it already is,” he started, his voice calm but careful. “yes, we are good friends, but we’ve tarnished that too far for us to ever be simply friends again.”

“what? grayson,” you said through a forced laugh, “what are you even saying right now?” you knew precisely what he was saying. 

“you’re a good person.” he said, almost sounding like he was begging for you to see his point, “you’re a lovely person, the most caring and funniest person i’ve met. you deserve better, i’m not the person for you.” 

“grayson, what is wrong with you?” you couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity at what you were hearing, but you were so frustrated at his… selfishness.

“i want you, you want me, right? it’s that simple! just let us be us.”

“it’s never that simple.” he shook his head, that one strand falling back into his face. his brows furrowed slightly like the words hurt him to say.

“it is that simple! you’re making no sense, just— just stop.” you stood up, and he followed, fear flashing in his eyes momentarily. 

you took a slow step away from him.

“you kissed me! you kissed me.” your voice crackled, and you swallowed thickly, forcing yourself to keep going. “if you knew from day one that you couldn’t do this, you should’ve just spared me the effort and left me alone.”

he looked at you like you’d shot a dagger through his heart, though his eyes were the only thing that showed it. were you being unfair? probably. but in your eyes, you had every right to be. 

as much as both of you hated to admit, his eyes were far too easy for you to read. they were like a language only you were fluent in, like you could have a whole conversation without even speaking.

now, all they said was pain. 

“you’re the only thing making things more difficult, gray.” you hated the way your voice trembled. 

low blow after low blow. but he deserved it. 

all those nights you’d spent together? he knew you inside and out, what hurts you, what doesn’t, and exactly how you love.

he knew all of that, and he still thought that leaving because things were difficult was going to be the right thing.

this couldn’t be real.

“look at us, don’t you see it?” he motioned between the two of you, like whatever was happening was a tangible thing he could see. “we’re fighting like this, and we’re not even together. we’re going to ruin each other.”

ruin each other? is that what he thought? god knows how many years of friendship, a pretty perfect friendship too, and he thought making something official would lead to you ruining each other? 

you weren’t fighting with him, you were trying to fight for him. for the chance of you actually being something more. 

“we can’t do this.” his voice felt so detached, but his eyes looked so hurt at the same time. he didn’t getto feel hurt, not when it was his fault. “we’ll just end up hurting eachother, and i don’t want to hurt you.”

you nodded silently, willing your tears back. every inch of you you wanted to scream in his face, “you already have! you coward.”

he was doing nothing but hurt you these past few days.

instead, you nodded, biting the inside of your cheek to keep the tears at bay.

“yeah,” you said, pressing your lips together as you nodded again. “alright. i get it. that’s it then?”

grayson’s eyes narrowed for a split second like he was confused. 

was he surprised? did he think you were going to hang on longer? because you weren’t. you’d spent far too much energy on him. you always saw him as someone worth spending you time on, someone worth trying to figure out, someone you wanted to know.

but you understood now: he didn’t want you to figure him out because he didn’t even know who he was himself. he was scared. but that wasn’t an excuse; you were terrified, and you still were. 

love had always been your fatal flaw, the one thing you were unsure of, but you were willing to dive in head first because it was grayson. 

he just didn’t feel as deeply though. 

you didn’t want to figure him out, and you didn’t want to know anything about him anymore. 

he didn’t answer right away. instead, he looked at you, and for a moment, his mask slipped. his eyes—those stupid, stupid eyes— almost made you want to feel sorry for him. he looked vulnerable, but you were too angry to let it affect you this time.

“i… yes.” grayson finally said, sounding unsure of himself for once in his life. “i suppose that’s it.”

“good,” you nodded as your crossed your arms, “because i don’t want to hear what you have to say ever again.“ 

he reached his hands out but quickly let his arms fall back, curling his fingers into a fist. 

he looked at you like he didn’t know what to say, his mouth opening and closing before he finally settled on just staying silent.

you still felt like there was a million unspoken words that needed to be said, but you turned and walked away. 

for once, you didn’t wait to see if he’d try again.

you willed your feet to move and not think about how he looked behind you, because if you did, even for a second, you had a feeling you’d turn right back. 

a/n: guys it gets better i swear they’ll be happier than ever soon 🙏 taglist: @x-liv25-jamieswife @wish-i-were-heather @thecircularlibrary @whatsamongus @littlemissmentallyunstable

@anintellectualintellectual @lovethornes @maybxlle @sheisntyou @emelia07

 @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @charsoamerican @hxress23 @imaseabear 

@clarissaweasley-10 @off-to-the-r4ces @thelov3lybookworm @graysw1fe @lanterns-and-daydreams 

@hermesenthusiast @elysianwayy77 @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @apollosmusee

[kybercrystals94]

Come Back (part 5)

Read here on Ao3

<<Previous Chapter | Next Chapter>>

Rated: T | Words: 2109

TECH 

Tech, even for all his difficulty deciphering traditional displays of emotions, can feel the ire rolling off of his brother in waves. “I do not understand why you are angry with me,” he admits, trying to match pace with the cadet who seems determined to stay several steps ahead. 

“It wasn’t your fight, Tech,” Crosshair snaps.

“Your fight is always my fight,” Tech argues. “We are a squad.”

“You are a di’kut!” Crosshair groans, putting his hands to his head and grabbing fistfuls of pale hair. “Hunter is going to kill me.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t keep my mouth shut, can I? And now look at you!” 

Tech has no ability to look at himself as directed; however, he is aware that he does not look as he did when he and Crosshair left the barracks. He is trying to ignore the obvious crack in the right lens of his goggles, and his injuries likely match Crosshair’s: bruises, swelling, and split skin now covered in bacta patches. The Kaminoan medics had not been pleased when the trainers brought in an entire class of cadets. 

“We will tell him it was my fault,” Tech says.

Crosshair stops walking, grabbing Tech’s arm to make him stop too. “Why would we do that?” 

“It isn’t entirely a lie,” Tech tells him. “After all, you only said what you said because of me.”

“Stop trying to save me, Tech.” Crosshair shoves him. “You don’t always have to be the hero.” 

Tech stares at him. “What?” 

“I made my choice,” Crosshair hisses, shoving him again, hard. “You shouldn’t have to pay for it.” 

“Why are you doing this?” Tech asks. “Why are you pushing me away? Why won’t you let me help you?” 

Crosshair lunges forward, catching the front of Tech’s uniform shirt in his fists, pulling him close, and snarls, “I didn’t ask for your help. I told you to run. Plan 88. Did you hear me? Plan 88!” 

“Plan 88? What is Plan 88?” Tech tries to pull away, prying at Crosshair’s grip with shaking fingers, frightened by the sheer hatred in his brother’s voice. He’s never been scared of Crosshair. Not until…

And then Crosshair isn’t a cadet anymore. He is in the Empire’s armor. The Empire. Order 66. 

“Crosshair,” Tech gasps out, and he wraps his desperate, trembling fingers around his brother’s wrists instead. “We’re coming for you. We’re coming!” 

“I didn’t ask you to,” Crosshair reiterates, but some of the hatred has leaked out. “I didn’t ask you to die.” 

“I’m not dead,” Tech tells him. 

Crosshair tips his head. “You look dead to us.” 

Tech wakes gasping for breath, Crosshair’s voice raw and sharp still echoing in his ears. He moves to sit up, and while his entire body protests the movement, he doesn’t care. The pain means that he is awake. That he is alive. That he isn’t dead. 

You look dead to us. 

“Tech?” Kandria is standing a few meters away from him, her arms wrapped around a bundle. “Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine,” he tells her, but his voice betrays him. He swallows and glares down at his hands still trembling in his lap. 

“Okay,” Kandria says. She steps closer. “I brought you some clothes. Real clothes, that is.” She sets the stack on the cot beside him and lifts the top article. She holds it reverently, her thumbs brushing over the heavy, knitted material. “This sweater was my father’s.” 

“Thank you,” he tells her, and he hopes she can hear the depth of his sincerity. 

“Do you need help?” she asks, replacing the sweater to the stack. 

“I think I can manage,” Tech says, offering a thin smile. 

Kandria nods. “I’ll come back in a few minutes then with your breakfast. And Uncle Garo wants me to make a list of the parts you’ll need to build a transmitter radio.” 

“Excellent. Thank you, Miss Kandria.” 

The use of her name seems to surprise her, and she grins. “You’re welcome, Tech.” 

He waits until she has left the room before attempting further movement. He examines the clothing. The trousers look like they will be too wide and too short; however, they are in far better shape than his blacks. The sweater is softer than he anticipated. It is mostly dark blue, but the collar, cuffs and hem are edged in an earthy yellow design.

It takes him far longer to change than he would like, and it makes him realize just how far he will need to come in his recovery before he is in any position of escaping himself, let alone with the girl in tow. He knows that he will not be allowed to freely make contact with his brothers, let alone simply leave. 

There is a tentative knock.

“I am done,” Tech calls out. 

The door slides open and Kandria comes in with a flimsi notebook and a bowl of something that somehow smells both savory and sweet. He is sitting on the edge of the cot, and Kandria sits next to him, handing Tech the bowl. 

“It’s porridge,” she tells him, then whispers, “My own special recipe.” 

Tech takes a tentative bite and is pleasantly impressed. “It is surprisingly good.” 

“Thanks,” Kandria says, smiling. 

Tech continues to eat while Kandria draws little doodles on the edges of the flimsi.

“Crosshair is your brother with enhanced eyesight, isn’t he?” she asks suddenly. 

Tech nearly chokes on the bite he was swallowing. “Pardon?” he asks, although he knows exactly what she said; he just needs a moment to compose himself. 

“You said his name in your sleep,” Kandria explains. “You sounded so sad. Did something happen to him too?” 

“Too?” Tech echoes. 

“Well, something happened to you,” Kandria says, as though it is obvious. 

And it is.

“Oh,” Tech says.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Kandria tells him gently. “I just know sometimes it helps to talk about things when you’re sad. But not always.”

Tech stirs at the remnant remains of his porridge. “Crosshair is a prisoner of the Empire. We were trying to get information as to his location when…when I fell.” 

“Your other family was with you?” Kandria asks.

Tech nods, because the words catch in his throat. 

“So they think you are dead.” It isn’t a question. There is no question. Who could survive such a fall? Tech isn’t even sure how it is possible…and he was there…is here…

You look dead to us.

“I’m sorry,” Kandria whispers. 

Tech clears his throat. “I will not be lost forever, and neither will Crosshair,” he tells her firmly, because verbalizing it might somehow make it true. 

Kandria nods, and there is a certainty to the action that Tech appreciates deeply. He wants to tell her that he intends to take her with him, that he will not leave her behind; however, he isn’t yet sure how she would take such information, if it would be well received. She is not safe here, and her uncle does not deserve to have her in his care. It is in her best interest that she be rescued. Victims don’t always realize. 

“I suppose we’d better get started on this transmitter then,” Kandria says.

KANDRIA

“Why don’t clones have normal names?” 

Jaunt laughs. “What’re you talkin’ about, kid? You saying my name ain’t normal?” 

“Yes,” Kandria tells him unabashedly.

“Rude,” Jaunt huffs, but the grin on his face tells her that he isn’t actually mad. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen him mad. “You know, my name wasn’t always Jaunt. We used to have to go by our CT numbers. Still do on official documents and all that; however, unlike you natborns, we get to choose our names…or at least get given a name by our brothers that matches our charming personalities.” 

Kandria smiles. “Did you pick your name?” 

“Nope! It was given to me by one of my batchmates. We did a training exercise where we had to go on a thirty-six standard hour hike off-world. Afterwards, I said, sarcastically of course, ‘Well, that was a nice little jaunt.’” Jaunt uses both hands to indicate himself. “And just like that, my name was born.” 

“Do you like your name?” 

“Not at first. I was hoping for something more hardcore like Droid Slayer…but it’s grown on me.” 

“What name would you give me, if I were a clone?” Kandria asks. 

Jaunt stops walking to look down at her thoughtfully. “You want a clone name?” 

Kandria nods eagerly. 

“Well, then, you’ll have to earn it,” Jaunt tells her, then turns on his heel and continues on his patrol. 

Kandria gapes after him for a moment before jogging to catch up. “How?”

Jaunt shrugs. “I don’t make the rules, kiddo, I just follow them.” 

“Will you tell me when I earn it?” 

“‘Course I will. You can bet your bottom credit I’ll have a clone name picked for you by the end of the war.” 

Kandria grins and wonders what her clone name will be.

“Can you tell me about your name?” Kandria asks. 

Tech does not look up from the wire he is stripping. “What do you mean?” 

Kandria hesitates, then rephrases her question. “Did you pick your name or did your brothers?” 

“Ah,” Tech says. “Our names more or less identify with our enhancements. They are rather obvious.” 

“Oh.” Disappointed by the short answer, Kandria continues stripping her own wire, carefully following Tech’s example. 

Tech hums thoughtfully. “You seem well acquainted with clone culture.” 

“I was friends with a clone trooper,” Kandria says. “He told me a lot.” 

“What was his name?” 

Kandria hesitates. “Jaunt.” 

“I assume his name has a humorous backstory,” Tech comments. 

“When he was a cadet, he called a thirty-six hour training hike a ‘nice little jaunt’.” Kandria is surprised at how nice it feels to talk about him. 

Tech chuckles. “That reminds me of my brother Echo…he was not originally a member of our squad; however, his name was similarly acquired. He had an unfortunate habit of echoing information to his original squad. He still does, if I am being honest.” 

“Echo,” Kandria says. “That’s a nice name.” 

“He was not always fond of it,” Tech says. “But he seems pleased with it now.” 

Kandria laughs. 

“Our sister, Omega, was named like a natborn in a way,” Tech continues. “As far as I am aware, she was decanted with that name. You and Omega will get along well, I think.” 

Kandria nearly drops the wire and blade in her hands, turning to look up at Tech. He has gone still as well, his dark eyes wide. “Ah,” he says, almost to himself, and she hears him swallow. He puts down the wire. “That is…I think that if the two of you ever met, you would get along.” 

A question burns on Kandria’s tongue, one she hadn’t even dared to hope to ask, hadn’t even considered a possibility. “You’ll take me with you?” Her voice comes out as a breathless whisper. 

She isn’t sure Tech heard her until he gives a single nod, a lift and drop of his head. “That is the plan.” 

“The plan,” Kandria echoes, and she feels the thrill of terrified excitement. 

“I have not been given the impression that you are safe or happy with your uncle and cousins,” Tech says, and his voice is quiet, even though they both know that the men in question are away from the warehouse. 

“My father would not have wanted me with them,” Kandria says, moving her eyes to the floor. “Jaunt tried to protect me, but…he couldn’t forever.” 

Tech nods again. “I know that it is a lot to ask, but I hope you will trust me.” 

Impulsively, Kandria drops her wire and grasps his now empty hand, gripping it tight. “I do!” she insists. 

Tech looks surprised by the sudden contact, but he does not pull away. “It will not be easy,” Tech tells her, “and there are risks.” 

Kandria nods. “I know.” 

“Good,” Tech says. “Then I can count on your discretion? We must not give Garo any reason to believe we have any sort of scheme.” 

Kandria nods again. 

Tech’s hand until this moment has been slack in hers; however, now, he curls his fingers around hers and squeezes briefly before pulling away. “I will give you information as you need it; otherwise, it is safer that you remain in the dark.” 

“Okay,” Kandria agrees, even if she longs to ask more questions. She does trust him. She has to trust him. 

Because there is no one else left in the galaxy for her to trust. 

Until now. 

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[boxofleftoverbeans]

About Werewolf prank

Lately I've been seeing a lot of misinformation spread about this whole situation and I'm in debunking mood so here we go!

Starting with:

The Timeline

1) The Marauders become animagi

We are told they became Animagi sometime in their fifth year but no exact date is given. "Finally, in our fifth year, they managed it. They could each turn into a different animal at will." We can infer that they were Animagi before the prank took place because they were sneaking out to be with Lupin (evidence bolded in later quotes) and the prank took place in the fifth year after November because Snape tells us Sirius was 16 when it happened.

2) Snape notices Marauders sneaking out and starts following them

Snape notices all of the Marauders sneaking out and starts following them in order to find out what they are up to. "Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to… hoping he could get us expelled…." “They sneak out at night.” “Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they’re doing at night?” We do not know exactly how long this went on but it couldn't have been before they became Animagi because they wouldn't be sneaking off to meet up with Lupin before then.

3) Snape sees Lupin leaving with Madam Pomfrey to go to the Whomping Willow

Lupin explains that the reason Snape got interested in him was because he saw him leaving the castle with Madam Pomfrey and going to the Whomping Willow. "Snape had seen me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me toward the Whomping Willow to transform." This happened after he had already started following other Marauders around.

4) Sirius decides to trick Snape into going to the shack

Sirius tricks/plays a prank/joke on him which makes him go after Lupin to the shack on the full moon. "Sirius thought it would be -- er -- amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and he'd be able to get in after me." Considering how Lupin retells the story it is very much possible that Snape seeing Lupin, being tricked by Sirius and going after Lupin all happen on the same evening.

5) James hears what Sirius had done and decides to go and save Snape

It is unclear when James hears this, he could have heard it early and decided to act last minute or he could have heard it and immediately rushed to the Willow to stop it. "but your father, who'd heard what Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back"

6) Snape goes to the shack and sees fully transformed Lupin and is pulled back by James

7) Dumbledore forbids Snape from speaking of the incident

"He was forbidden by Dumbledore to tell anybody" It is not clear whether any of the Marauders were punished but we know they were not made to promise to keep what happened a secret because of what happens after;

8) Marauders spread their version of the story around the school

“And you’re being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever’s down there— ” The only people who knew what happened that night were Sirius, James, Snape and Dumbledore (Both Lupin and Peter would have had to been told later). We know Dumbledore would not be spreading the story around as it would endanger Lupin. For the same reason, the portraits would have also held their tongue (and we never hear them spreading such things around) This leaves Sirius and James as the only people who could have spread the story further. It is also possible that they told it to Lupin and Peter and that one of them spread it. (Most likely Peter because Lupin is highly unlikely to do such a thing)

9) Snape tries to hint to Lily that Lupin is a werewolf

Snape tries to hint to Lily that Lupin is a werewolf because he can't directly say it: "“They sneak out at night. There’s something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?” “He’s ill,” said Lily. “They say he’s ill — ” “Every month at the full moon?” said Snape."

And that is the full timeline in chronological order so now let's debunk some common misconceptions:

1) Snape spent years following Marauders around

Wrong, the Marauders weren't regularly sneaking out at night because they weren't Animagi and therefore couldn't hang out or be near Lupin before the fifth year. And Sirius, Lily, Lupin and Snape all say he was trying to find out where they were sneaking off to and doing at night.

2) Snape specifically targets Lupin and spends years stalking him

The evidence for this is slim at best. As Sirius says Snape was following all of them around. And Lupin points out Snape got interested in him only after he saw him with Madam Pomfrey which he placed after he started following the rest of them. Which leads Sirius to pull the prank. This means his interest in Lupin happened after Marauders started sneaking out (so fifth year, after November, before the prank)

3) Snape knew or suspected Lupin was a werewolf before going to the shack

Highly unlikely. It is at this time that Snape had already invented a number of spells and was smart enough to correct instructions in a 6th-year potions book. This does not sound like someone who would go into a narrow tunnel expecting to meet a fully transformed werewolf. What exactly would be Snape's goal here? To prove Lupin is a werewolf? If he already knew Lupin is a werewolf what purpose does it serve for him to see it with his own eyes? Seeing Lupin would not have made his claim any more convincing. Or was he hoping to be mauled or bitten to have a proof to show everyone? Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? Not to mention we get no hints whatsoever that Snape knew before the prank. The best "evidence" is the conversation with Lily which happens after the prank: "“Every month at the full moon?” said Snape. “I know your theory,” said Lily, and she sounded cold." Some take this as hard proof that Snape knew or suspected Lupin was a werewolf before the prank because Lily would not have referred to it as such if he had not been constantly repeating it for a long period of time. But this is not true. This sentence makes perfect sense even if Snape had presented this theory only once. It even makes sense for her to refer to it as such if he had presented it to her just that morning! And on top of it it is directly contradicted by Lupin: "but from that time on he knew what I was…." It also makes no sense for Snape to consider Siruis' prank an attempt on his life if he knew he would come face to face with a werewolf.

4) Sirius only told Snape how to get past the Willow so it's all Snape's fault

Ah, the victim-blaming one, my favorite! But no. First of all, I already gave an explanation on why it is very unlikely Snape knew what was waiting for him. Second, even if Sirius simply told Snape how to get to Lupin the situation would still be: -Snape thinks Lupin is in the tunnel beneath the Willow -Sirius tells him how to get into the tunnel, knowing Lupin is a werewolf -Snape enters the tunnel expecting a classmate and meets a werewolf Excuse me but this is still attempted murder????? Not to mention that it is also unlikely this is all Sirius did. Because this is how everyone refers to the situation: "your saintly father and his friends played a highly amusing joke on me that would have resulted in my death if your father hadn't got cold feet at the last moment." "Which of the Marauders attempted to trick Snape into following them through the Whomping Willow, so he'd come across Lupin as a werewolf?" "Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me --" "All because of some stupid trick Sirius played on him --" “JUST BECAUSE THEY MADE A FOOL OF YOU AT SCHOOL YOU WON'T EVEN LISTEN —” How is simply telling him a joke/trick? "How do I get to werewolf?" "Poke the tree." Where exactly is a joke/trick element in this? It is simply answering the question. If that is all Sirius did then why would Snape accuse him of attempted murder? Why would everyone refer to it as a trick or a joke or being made fool of? What exactly was the trick/joke here? The truth is we do not have the full story. We know that Sirius somehow tricked Snape into going to check what Lupin was up to. We do not know how he did it, what he said or how he said it - only that he had tricked him. This whole situation only makes sense if: 1) Snape didn't know Lupin was a werewolf 2) Sirius tricked him into going after Lupin If Snape knew Lupin was a werewolf it makes no sense for him to go after Lupin on full moon or blame Sirius for attempted murder. If all Sirius did was tell him how to go after Lupin then it makes no sense to call it a trick/joke or blame him for attempted murder.

In short:

There is no evidence Snape spent years stalking Marauders.

There is no evidence Snape spent years stalking Lupin.

There is no evidence Snape knew Lupin was a werewolf.

There is no evidence Sirius didn't trick Snape and nearly got him killed as a prank.

In fact, all the evidence points to the opposite!

[hereticalseraph]

Surprised I haven’t seen Peter Turbo in this meme format yet

[mostnormalheartslabyuulstudent]

"at least we saved nine gold pieces"

Yeah I just watched episode 7

10/10 best episode

[wu-wakfu-undertale]

Re-watching wakfu for the first time in years and s1 Yugo was so silly???

dude discovered he could make portals at will and his first thought after actually acknowledging it is "i can do so many cool pranks with this"

[boyfridged]

You may have already mentioned this in some of your other metas, and I just missed it, so please ignore this if it's redundant.

Do you think Bruce is projecting onto Jason by pushing him as a Robin? Obviously, Jason wanted to be Robin and was excited about it, and Bruce let Jason do other things, but (if I'm not mistaken) before Tim came into play, solidifying the whole Batman needs a Robin/support to keep him upright, Bruce and Dick becoming Batman and Robin, in the beginning, was also sort of a coping mechanism.

I think there are a few examples of Bruce enabling this kind of mindset. Like in Gotham Knights #43–44 (sorry), every time Barbara brings up Jason's inner turmoil, Bruce refocuses on his ability as a Robin; similarly, when Jason finds out about Two-Face and his dad, he is hurt, and Bruce acknowledges that but then does the same thing, zeroing in on reassuring Jason that he made a mistake but is still a good Robin.

Like, Jason got it from Bruce, but he unintentionally encouraged that kind of thinking.

oh, i definitely think that bruce is projecting on jason and that it profoundly affected jay. and, while every single one of your observations is apt, i would add that what truly made it so tragic is that he projected his own worst traits on jason while being blind to the fact that jay already shared his best qualities.

tldr: bruce projects himself on jason in terms of grief (saying that jason needs vigilantism to work his grief through) and sees his own worst traits in jason (anger) but doesn't see his own best traits in jay (compassion, love, and sensitivity). ironically, jason does end up developing all of the (projected) worst characteristics of bruce (obsessiveness, and relentlessness in pursuit of the respective perceived idea of justice). this happens even though they were barely present in his early storylines, and only ever manifested when jason was scared or lost. later, they truly came to be because of his trauma relating to vigilantism.

and the long, long version, coming with panels and quotes: under the cut.

first i want to say that the following analysis focuses very specifically on bruce's mistakes, but i don't view the overall of jay's upbringing by bruce solely in these terms. from text it is also clear that bruce deeply loves and cares about jay, and that jay enjoys being robin. now that this is clear, let's get to particularities, and start with jay's origin story.

i truly never stop thinking about the significance of bruce meeting jay in the crime alley, the place of his parents' death. there's a lot to be said about it, but here the focus is, of course, on the fact that he sees a little boy, very much similar to himself, angry and hurt, in the same scenery that brought him so much grief. and jay in some ways does appear to be a mirror of bruce's own agonies, as well as a mirror of his own inclination for seeking justice; and somehow, bruce fixates on the first one, while almost completely dismissing the latter.

bruce looks at him and assumes that the remedy to jason's pain and anger is being robin; and he doesn't stop to think about it. (it has to be noted that there's also classism at play, classism that is mostly a result of writers' own beliefs – collins did state in a couple of interviews that that the motivation behind jason's background was to make his introduction into vigilantism seem less offensive, as jason has already been exposed to crime...)

i think, in this context, it's interesting to look at the two-face storyline even closer, and from the start too. in the beginning, bruce talks of jason's 'street' roots and assumes jay would go "down the same criminal road that took his father [willis] to an early death." he also talks of jason making a lot of progress. later, in batman #411, after jason learns that willis has been killed by two-face, bruce comments that jay "has never been like this...listless...almost pouting--"

this all, along with jay's cheerful and diligent behaviour from the previous issue builds an interesting picture for us: because we essentially learn that jay has been overall an unproblematic child. bruce, of course, attributes this "progress" to the training. however, for anyone else, the logical conclusion would be that jay's quick adjustment was simply a matter of finding himself in a safe and stable environment and receiving continuous support and attention from a parental figure. i find it rather questionable that jason's personality softened down because he had something to punch in the cave–– the more intuitive explanation is of course that he was angry and quick to fight when they first met because he couldn't afford anything else and because he was scared. but months later, in a loving home, he can allow himself to drop his guard; and his cocky attitude disappears until much later.

so the rather unsettling picture that we derive is that bruce is training jay to become a vigilante in order to "channel" his (nonvisible at this point) anger into something useful and just. and he clearly links this to his own trauma in batman #416 (that’s already starlin btw), in his conversation with dick, explaining why he took jay in: “he’s so full of anger and frustration… he reminds me of myself, just after my parents were killed.” bruce also mentions that soon after their first meeting, jason helped him and "handled himself well" in the fight, but he doesn't mention that jay has ran away from a crime "school" and intended to stop injustice on his own only because he was ignored.

the theme of bruce comparing jay to himself appears again in detective comics #574 (barr), where it is approached with a much more... critical look, thanks to leslie's presence and her skepticism of bruce's actions. after jason has suffered nearly fatal injuries at the hand of the mad hatter, bruce reminisces on his own trauma and motives. he tells leslie: "i didn't choose jason for my work. he was chosen by it...as i was chosen." leslie replies: "stop that! (...) you do this for yourself... you're still that little boy (...)" then, the conversation steers to the familiar ground and the topic of anger. in bruce's words, again: “i wanted to give jason an outlet for his rage…wanted him to expunge his anger and get on with his life…” and finishes "and instead, i may have killed him."

the recognition that bruce's projection on jason and involving him with his work might have fatal consequences is, as always, fast forgotten once jay wakes up and proclaims that he wants to continue his work as robin.

but to circle back, i think there's something else worth our attention, something deeply ironic, that is showcased in that issue: that bruce has no evidence for jay's "rage." when leslie talks of bruce's past, she recalls his tendencies to get into brutal fights at perceived injustice as early as in school; when bruce talks of jason, two pictures that are juxtaposed, are that of jason fighting as robin and jason... smiling, playing baseball.

so, in the early days of jason's training and work in the field, we see bruce talking of jason's anger a lot; but we barely see it.

that being said, jay is angry sometimes– and i think your observation about how bruce deals with it is incredibly interesting and accurate.

we first see jay truly and devastatingly angry in the two-face storyline. bruce focuses on jay's reaction as robin, which is, in fact, aggressive. but something that he barely addresses is that jason's first reaction is sleeping all day, and not beating anyone to a pulp; in fact, this vengeful instinct seems to arise only when he is put right in front of two-face. and his third instinct, once the rage (very quickly) dies down after the altercation with two-face, is crying, because bruce hid the truth about willis' death from him. jay, while crying, asks bruce: "you have taken me out into combat-- but you spare me this?" in response, bruce lectures jason about how grief inspires revenge, which is, again, deeply ironic, given that jay seeking out revenge seemed to be prompted and enabled solely by the role of robin. moreover, his question suggests that at this point he saw grief ("you spare me this") and fighting as two different things.

the final is, as you said, bruce focusing on making it into a lesson on vigilantism, or, in his own words, "tempering revenge into justice." personally, i think in this way bruce directs jason to bring his grief into the field as a powering force, something that he didn't necessarily have an own incentive to do. the flash of compartmentalisation between his ordinary life and being a sidekick that jay has shown by questioning bruce's decision is lost. emotions are now a robin thing, and they have an (informal) protocol, a moral code. and when jay is confronted with an emotionally exhausting case next – the garzonas case, i believe that the focus on "tempering revenge into justice" is exactly the problem– we don't see jay crying, we see him frantic about finding the solution. this, right there, is bruce's obsessiveness, that in my opinion, was developed in jay specifically as a result of how his engagement with vigilantism combines with his deep sensitivity.

and, needless to say, his sensitivity is all the same as that of bruce – they both can't stand looking at other people hurting, they both wear their hearts on their sleeve, caring way too much – the thing is, bruce never quite acknowledges how they are similar in this matter. instead, he focuses on his sparse bursts of anger, wanting to bring jason closure in his grief the only way he knows it – in a fight for a better world. so, as you said, he focuses on jason's ability as robin.

which just doesn't work for jason. at all. we know it from how his robin run comes to an end: in the first issue of a death in the family (batman #426) alfred informs: “i’ve come upon him, several times, looking at that battered old photograph of his mother and father, crying.”  to that, bruce contends: “in other words, i may have started jason as robin before he had a chance to come to grips with his parents deaths.” he also tells jay that the field is not a place for someone who is hurting; a message that is the opposite of what he's been saying for years now, and something that i imagine was difficult for bruce to conceptualise, because then he would have to question his own unhealthy tendencies. it's a bit late to come to this realisation; bruce's self-projection that caused him to worry so much about jay's anger has already turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy that will fully manifest itself in utrh, when jason does the only thing he was taught to do with grief: try to channel it into justice.

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

no yeah i really love how every core 4 member got a real happy ending....except for ej

nini is happily pursuing music in la with her moms' full support

ricky is dating gina, a girl he calls "home". he's finally becoming more at peace with love and how to show it. he's learned how to not run from his problems. his parents are getting back together (???) and his drama teacher wrote such a good letter of recommendation that he was accepted into a community college

gina becomes a literal movie star and was able to change the filming location of her second movie, without any consequences, to salt lake so she can physically be with ricky, the boy she finally got to date after crushing on him since the day they met. she has a permanent home to call her own now. her mom finally showed up to an opening night and she was finally able to portray gabriella

and then ej...is alone (in a wildcat sense) at college, financially cut off from his family, working multiple jobs to afford it. he spends most of his season 4 screentime guiding and helping others (ricky, gina, miss jenn, madlyn) instead of an actual storyline and a lot of his lines were about how he's made mistakes and has to live with them

[disfrutalakia]

Very very silly, but here is a quick doodle of the qsmp tag new child, A1! Gave them a frog bucket hat since the tag adopted them, they are now cared for and has a bunch of fun hats (please someone tell me if a name has been decided for this egg)

[tommygotwrittenoff]

my favorite thing about bt is when there's an opportunity for buck and t to have a deeper connection, but then t just shuts it down. like, go girl, give us nothing!!!!

[voydhund]

i cant draw fullbodies yet but uhh SMILING FRIENDS HEADCANONS GO!!!

Glep doesn't change at all, he's absolutely perfect as is

[deathsmallcaps]

I swear. I comprehend I’m not the best teaching intern in the world. I also was not the best camp counselor, cashier, and so on. But if my observer gives me so much criticism that I cry again I’m going to be so motherfucking pissed.

Especially since she’s asking me to stay late just to review me. While I have family visiting. And I’m gone for most of the day. And my commute is over half an hour. Which isn’t bad around here but still.

[agentartemus]

I thought today was a good one..