#can we go back to getting around with horses?/j

[bri-in-ur-attic]

oh mah gawd, as a native Tennessean i h8 Nashville

Warning: angry Southerner ranting abt the South (apologies in advance)

i went there for bday party and it absolutely sucked cuz all we did was walk around and get bombarded w shitty modern country music and overpriced shit in this shithole of a city

I like some old country music but i hate HATE modern country music, so fucking annoying and the forced accents ugh esp Morgan Wallen god i cant stand his music

Wanting to make it clear that I absolutely FUCKING love and respect western/wild west themes but Nashville is obnoxiously country it feels soooooo fake

A city that tries too hard to be country, that just defeats the point of country imo

Hell, not just Nashville anywhere that just tries too hard to be country makes me wanna eat rat poison

Betcha my life Arthur Morgan would take one look at modern Nashville and would've been glad to have died b4 the 20th century

Nashville is no longer the city of music, it's a melting pot of capitalizing off its Southern culture

rural areas of TN+east TN>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[macgyvermedical]

Preview of an idea I had. Might continue it, might not. It’s a story about a nurse living through a Second American Civil War around the year 2032. I want it to be episodic, told through nurse’s notes and the character’s private journal:

They killed Bradey on a rainy Wednesday in February.

That’s it. That’s how I’m starting this. It was raining and they shot him. Or. Well. It was drizzling. Not the point. The street was wet, and he was wearing a red cross made of duct tape on the back of his shirt. He’s fucking dead.

So I guess now that that happened. I guess. Um. I wanted to record some things. Just in case the same happens to me. Which it will- might. I don’t know yet.

The date is February 12, 2032. The Second American Civil War has been going on for 714 days. Officially. We all know it started before that. But like, if someone’s trying to line things up with a history book.

That’s where we’re at.

Most of the greater Seattle area gets electricity about 4 hours a day. Fuel ration is 2 gallons a week. The food situation is… well, I’ve lost 35 pounds. Which technically I had it to lose, but still fucking sucks when you’re not trying. Meds are a constant issue. So are sterile things. But at least with things that are supposed to be sterile you can make them clean enough if you have the things themselves. Meds… you either have or you don’t. There’s not a lot of them you can make yourself.

I wish I could tell you more about Bradey. Maybe I will someday. But to get things started he was a doctor. I ran his standalone urgent care out of the second floor of the Denny building for the last 5 years. Fee for service only. Sliding scale. Bradey hated insurance companies. And…. modernity in general. If he could have ridden a horse in the city and accepted chickens as payment he would have. Most people don’t have chickens here, though. Which, if I’m being honest, has turned out to be a real fucking shame.

I don’t have any of Bradey’s personal writings. Or, well, I do, technically. But they’re locked in his desk. Even if I could get them out I don’t read his cursive well enough to decipher them. Jackass. I’d be willing to trade a good few weeks’ fuel ration to an octogenarian locksmith with at least one good eye.

My handwriting’s not the best, but I realize all of my own notes are in a crappy old office laptop with like a quarter of a working battery. If the electricity situation gets any worse I want… Well, I want whoever wants it to have this. I don’t know. Maybe no one will. From now on everything goes on paper.

—-------------J. Shaw, RN—----------------------

[impactedfates]

Gayly crashes inside here/J

Anyways may I request a Jing Yuan with [platonic] bio-child reader.. Who has the most chaotic personality ever [ft sharing the same braincells as Yanqing] thank youuu

— 🫶🏻 Anon with a teddy bear gift 🧸

A/N: THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT, I’LL TREASURE IT FOREVER 🧸 I HOPE YOU’LL LIKE THIS

Genre/Trope: Platonic + Family (JY, You and Yanqing!) + Crack

Format: Bullet Pointed Scenarios/HC

Warnings: None

Extra: Reader is a teen in this // Single Father JY again but he loves his kids // Yanqing will be your younger brother for this // Reader works under Fu Xuan // Not fully proofread // Some mentions of modern day stuff but time is still taken in the HSR Universe

Loveable Headaches - Platonic Dad! Jing Yuan x Reader

Jing Yuan really does love his children, both you and Yanqing...but you two never seem to give him a break do you? From your brother always buying swords to you deciding to dramatically gasp about the future, causing them to be scared when all that happened was that they trip over a pebble the next day...

On a day where he wished he could be sleeping having done all his paperwork (or...most of them) Fu Xuan comes barging in dragging you behind her, glaring at the man. And although making people scared of their future is rather bad when you're a diviner...he can't help but chuckle sometimes Fu Xuan tries to make him lecture you.

Fu Xuan: General Jing Yuan, your kid started laughing when they saw someone's future. Jing Yuan: Is that so? What did they laugh at? Fu Xuan: A poor guy who got jump scared by a ca- Jing Yuan: Wheeze Ah ahem I mean, they did?

When you and Yanqing are hanging out together. It's either Yanqing being the responsible one and leading you out of trouble, or the other way around. Not one time have you two shared a brain cell and thought logically. At rare times, both of you would have no brain cells and Jing Yuan would have a Cloud Knight knocking at his office and bringing the two rascals who scared the trainee knights.

When Mimi first grew up and the family realised she was in fact a lion, you climbed on her back and began riding her around like a horse.

[Name]: Go Mimi go!! Jing Yuan: Sweetie…please get off her. [Name]: What why? D: We're both feline great Jing Yuan: *Trying not to laugh* G-good one…but you're gonna get hurt.

You and Yanqing probably on more than one occasion tried to go into R rated films when you both were younger. Unluckily for you, everyone knows the Generals kid.

The Dozing General loves his naps and sleep but he also loves you!...But if he hears you playing "We Will Rock You" at 3am in the morning with pots and pans one more time-

Honestly you give Fu Xuan a headache too sometimes. We already said you laugh at a divination you give that scares the other person but you also tend to act disgusted, concerned or any negative emotion when reading future moments...this can either lead to you telling them what happened which is usually such a small thing or you not telling them, simply stating "Can't say, ruins the future"

You probably stole a bunch of things from his room, it worked out for a bit as he wasn't sure where everything was going but you revealed yourself as the lil thief when you tried to steal his heavy sword. (It's a sword right? Or smt??)

You made Jing Yuan wear a powerpuff girls outfit once for Halloween. If he was a powerpuff girl or Dr whatever his name was I forgot, is up to you.

Jing Yuan seems like the type of guy to give kids the big chocolate bars for Halloween, so he needs to hide them from you and Yanqing before Halloween is here or else the kids won't have any as you snatched them with your lil brother.

I see that when you and Yanqing were younger, you tried dressing up as each other, wearing wigs and each other's clothing to try and trick Jing Yuan...however, your clothes were too big on Yanqing, and his clothes were too small on you.

Yanqing tried to jump scare you once when you were using the hose for something, needless to say. Yanqing came back in the house absolutely soaked.

Perhaps one day, the two of you dressed up as Jing Yuan, he found it so adorable!! He took so many pictures of the 'Mini Generals'...he may or may not have attempted to take a day off, gesturing to the 'Mini Generals' and how they would do the work.

Fu Xuan: General…they're kids, they're not ready for your job Jing Yuan: Kids! That want to be me, why not train them? Fu Xuan: General Jing Yuan: Ah, no fun Madam Fu, I'm going I'll do my work, I'll do my work.

He questioned if you were a dog in disguise when you were like 5 tbh. Cuz you bit a lot of things, heck he once came into a meeting with you hanging off his arm...by biting him...doesn't hurt him but he did question where you learnt that.

Yanqing was adopted as a kid, when Jing Yuan first came home with the lil guy, and introduced him to you as your younger brother...you tried to make him fly by throwing him off the kitchen counter, to which THANKFULLY Jing Yuan has the quick reflexes to save Yanqing, he scolded you of course. And hey, good thing Jing Yuan did save your brother as you wouldn't have your partner in crime otherwise.

Idk if I made the reader chaotic or not but hopefully this was alrightwfiof.

Sorry for slow updates (I say as if I didn't mention I'd also be concentrated on other things). I'm going to some resort or something for a school tour(?) and apparently it has no wifi/signal, so wish me luck...gotta bond with my classmates.

[avocado-writing]

you could do crowley x reader

You're taking a ride in the Bentley with Crowley, the Reader is bored, you find yourself in a land of bawdy fantasy. Crowley gets you out of all this and knows your desires. Crowley has you right where he wants you.

notes: sorry if you didn’t want this to be so smutty. That’s how it turned out. pairing: Crowley/GN!Reader rated: E, minors dni

“If we’re going to drive through the countryside,” you tell Crowley, “you might as well slow down enough for us to actually appreciate it.”

Crowley mutters to himself and reluctantly drops out of fifth gear. The green blur outside separates into actual distinct trees, and you press up to the glass of the window to take in the beautiful outdoors. 

“Cows!” you announce to Crowley when you see a field full of them; the job of anyone in the front passenger seat. He manages a smile before you finally fully turn to him. 

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.”

“Crowley��”

“Look, I’m bored, that’s all. It’s just miles of nothing.”

“Well, I’m bored too,” you sigh, face back to the window. “Ooh, sheep.”

There’s silence for a moment. You go to fiddle with the radio but Crowley interrupts the silence. 

“You know, we’re alone on this road.”

“Yes…?”

“We could… well...”

It takes a moment to register as Crowley nods downwards, and then your eyebrows skyrocket. 

“Anthony J Crowley, are you asking me to give you road head?”

“I’m just saying it might be more interesting than pointing out every farmyard animal we drive past.”

You consider this for a moment. He’s not wrong, really. Plus you’re reasonably sure he won’t crash the Bentley if you do indulge, he’s far too precious over it for that. 

You look around, making sure you definitely are the only two people on the country path, and reach down to his fly. 

He’s already half-hard from the idea, and it only takes a couple of strokes to get him all the way there. For a moment you just do that, fucking him with your hand, long and languid, watching his face as you swipe your thumb over his head. You can see the way his jaw tightens as he feels you begin to tease him. 

“Come on, Crowley,” you mutter, voice honey-thick with sex, “let’s see those pretty eyes of yours.”

He takes a moment to flip his sunglasses up. His pupils are blown wide, only a sliver of yellow to be seen. 

“Good boy,” you whisper, before reaching down to put your mouth on him. 

Crowley has a lovely cock. Just the right size, slightly curved, and right now a ruddy red and dripping with precome. You take him down your throat in one movement and you feel him swerve the car just slightly as you hit his base. 

“Fuck,” he hisses. One of his hands comes to settle in your hair, but you gently pull off of him, spit dripping from his shaft. 

“Both hands on the wheel. Behave.”

He makes a whiny little noise but does as he’s told. His knuckles whiten as he grips the steering wheel, trying to keep calm at the feeling of your warm wet mouth bobbing up and down the length of him. You lick a stripe up the vein on the underside of his cock, toy with his slit using your tongue. The taste of salt floods you. You close your eyes and hum, enjoying the experience of making him lose his mind. 

“You asked for this,” you chuckle as you feel him squirm in his seat. 

“I forget how—ah!—good you are,” he manages through gritted teeth. His chest rises and falls with the effort of taking breaths he doesn’t need, but desperate to find a way to calm himself down. 

“Do you want to come in my mouth?”

Crowley grips the wheel so hard you hear a crack as it breaks. 

“Yes.”

You take him down once more and, when he hits the back of your throat, you feel him release in a thick jet. You stay put until he finishes panting, then sit back up and make a show of swallowing. 

“Still bored?” You ask wickedly. Crowley doesn’t reply, too busy trying to miracle the car back together. You go back to looking out the window. 

“Horses.”

Taglist: @angiestopit @dazed-soul @idontmeanto @smile-eywa @staygoldsquatchling02 @underratedboogeyman @specter-soltare @candlewitch-cryptic @cool-ontherun-world @emilynissangtr @willbedecided

[syndrossi]

i thought i’d break the ice with this^ how’d you like it?

so i have this ongoing headcanon that the universe where the boys came back as girl twins that their friendships with aegon and aemond switch. (again, it’s a headcanon, so let me know if i get any characterizations wrong) and this could be when they’re older like 12-13

naturally, the green boys might’ve been told by otto to try to be very nice with the girls, one of them might end up marrying one of them

of course neither likes that idea until they actually meet the girls bc well, they’re so cool and very pretty

lets get to the girls, you already confirmed that Jon (or Daenerys/Dany, Visenya, etc, choices choices) would definitely have kept up the sword practice in secret and now that they’re with Daemon, she’d ask for sword lessons and Daemon would comply.

Rhaegar (or Rhaella, Rhaelle, Rhaenys [although i doubt this one bc there’s a current living Rhaenys atm so]) ooooo what about Rhaegella (too weird? too twilight 4?) would also keep up with the sword practice with Jon

thing is, Jon is more likely to openly challenge one of the green boys in combat than Rhaegar is, who would think it smart to keep the skill hidden, while Jon can be more impulsive, especially since she/he is older and spent more time with the sword and not really caring about hiding that

still, there COULD have been a conversation between the twins where J might’ve convinced R to just let her do her thing and R figured, “hey, if they think i’m the weaker twin, they’ll underestimate me and i can use it to my advantage”

THIS MEANS that Jon might be caught using a sword and teased, leading her/him to challenge Aemond (who’s better and more interested swords and fighting). obviously Jon wins, and Aemond might’ve been mad at losing to a girl, especially with Aegon’s teasing but then he talks to J and the two make a truce, and maybe J starts helping him out with training

meanwhile, Aegon might take a liking to both of them, but since Aemond has been more focused on J, Aegon seeks out R, who is very pretty and not weird like Helaena (his thoughts), she’s charming and tells intriguing tales and seems very interested in him talking about his horses and whatnot (R is very good at pretending, she’d run circles around this guy)

of course, things could progress as they’re doing now. Aegon might find a warrior f!Jon cool and interesting. he may not like fighting, but he may like watching her fight. (Aegon’s Aegon) And Aemond may gravitate toward R bc she’s very sweet and charming and unlike his sister, she accepts hugs and cheek kisses. and we already know Aemond has mother issues so him going to R, who’s used to being a caretaker could be plausible just as much.

i mean i just like the twist, but let me know if i got anything wrong or right, you know your characters better.

thank you for answering!

I could see Aemond warming much more to Jon-as-a-girl. The things that provoke seething jealousy in Resonant (it hasn't happened yet, but it's brewing) for Aemond in Jon don't really apply if he's part of a twin sister duo.

Jon-as-a-boy: is the best at swords ever, has a loving father who is badass and has a dragon, is likely to inherit Runestone and SOME Valyrian steel blade, and gets to have that close bond with Rhaegar. While Aemond is stuck with Viserys for a father and Aegon for a brother. Jon is everything he wants to have/be, and he doesn't even have the proper Valyrian look.

Jon-as-a-girl isn't someone to be jealous of, OTOH. Girl!Jon doesn't inherit anything, and Aemond's not going to be jealous of a sisterly relationship. Jon's non-Valyrian coloring he probably finds striking instead if he's a girl, and her skill with a blade intriguing rather than ego-threatening. I could see Aemond liking either Jon or Rhaegar for a match. Canonically, he was far more attracted to Helaena than Aegon was, and Rhaegar is certainly the more sensitive/introspective type. But Jon is also very charismatic and Alys Rivers was pretty spunky.

Aegon, meanwhile, is probably a little scared of girl!Jon, who is relentless about calling him on his bullshit. Whereas boy!Jon's propensity for shenanigans is something he admires. So his view of girl!Jon could be "scary but hot." (I wouldn't put it past Aegon to figure out whoever Aemond likes better and pursue that twin, just to fuck with him.)

[agentplutonium]

Hear me out:

Arranged marriage au David & Sweetheart who are absolutely distraught at the idea of marrying a stranger but willing to do it out of duty but then become friends when they realize they don’t actually have to kiss and also… the other’s personal guard is pretty cute (Milo is David’s guard and Angel is Sweetheart’s vv)

I'm finally getting around to this, be grateful (/j)

No, but seriously, I've been thinking about this strand of AU for so long (as Max can attest because he lives with me and therefore is subject to the horrors of my rambling) and I will take this AU to my grave. Moving on, a small snippet based off of this (with the whispers of this being updated in the future/made into a series).

(small note: Sweetheart will be referred to as Culver for the most part, and David will call them Dear/my Heart for appearances. Angel will be referred to as Red for the most part. Of course, the pairings will use the canon nicknames but I have to stretch a few things.)

Pairing: David & Sweetheart, David/Angel, Milo/Sweetheart (technically, they just aren't prominent atm)

WC: 1355

Rating: Gen.

max is talking about this post.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

"I cannot believe this is happening," Culver said, stretching out their back. The horse ride wasn't that far, but they hadn't taken a break yet and it's already been a few hours.

"Cheer up, Culver," Red chirped. "I hear that this king-to-be is very handsome."

"You know I've never been one for looks, Red," Culver said, rolling their eyes.

"I also hear that he's a great leader. In nearly every circumstance you two will be perfect for each other," Red said.

"Or, we'll be at each other's throats because we have different opinions," Culver muttered. "Besides, I don't know him! He could be a complete tyrant for all I know," they continued, back at their normal volume.

"Do you really think your parents would do that to you?" Red asked.

"They would send me to someone they thought that I could "fix"," Culver defended. "You know how they are."

"Aye, I do know how they are," Red caved. "I'm sure it will be fine, either way. You're a lovable person. It'll be easy for him to fall in love."

"I don't want him to fall in love after we're married," Culver said, barely keeping the whine out of their tone. "That's cheating. It isn't genuine, it's a forced proximity thing."

"Well, I don't know what to tell you," Red sighed. "But I will always be here to support you, your grace, you know that."

Culver relaxed, a small huff escaping their lips, "And I thank you for that, Red. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Red gave them a wink, turning back to the trail in front of them. As they came up to a bend, Red trotted ahead of Culver to ensure that the coast was clear.

Culver still wasn't looking forward to any of this, though.

~~~

"I can't believe this is happening," David muttered, tugging at the collar of his shirt. It was hot outside, too hot to be wearing his full regalia.

"I hear that your betrothed is very good at governing," Milo offered, trying to cheer David up.

"Really?"

Milo shrugged, "It's all I have left. You shot down the fact that they're the handsomest person in their kingdom. You shot down the fact that they were beloved by their people. You shooting down this. I don't know what to tell you that will get you excited for this new chapter in your life," Milo said.

"You're not going to. They're a stranger. The only reason I'm going along with it is because it would be stupid to turn down such a powerful alliance."

"Well, the good news is, once the wedding is over, you don't have to interact with them outside of publicity events," Milo offered. "Or, you fall in love with them after the wedding."

"That's superficial," David grumbled. "How do I know if I really love them or if it's just because they're here?"

Milo shrugged. "Only so much I can do, boss," he said.

A guard signalled the arrival of someone at the gate, and before David knew it, two horses were trotting down the path. David took a deep breath.

"Here we go," he muttered.

One thing is for sure, the rumours about their beauty weren't a lie. The royal was very attractive. It didn't make David feel any better about this arrangement. They slipped off the back of their horse, assisted by their knight. They approached, smile on their face. once they were a few feet away, they bowed.

"Your Majesty," they said. David approached as they straightened. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine," David said, bending to kiss their hand. "Please, come inside, my dad will be pleased to meet you."

Culver accepted, taking David's outstretched arm, interlinking them. David led them into the castle, followed by the two knights. Culver kept their eyes dutifully forward. David half wondered to himself what their intentions were. Were they excited for this? Did they have any plans? What did they know? How much power were they looking for?

Gabe was in the study, as he knew he would be. He always was here when they were expecting guests. He said that it made people feel more comfortable, and he got better arrangments out of it. It was in this room that it was decided he was to marry this stranger. David wondered just how much good luck it actually brought.

The conversation with his dad went off without a hitch. Culver was a hit with him, making him laugh and smile. His parents loved them. They seemed to know exactly what to say, and knew how to correct their mistakes (which were few and far between). David had no doubt they were a beast in political settings, getting what they wanted in the most efficient way possible.

Eventually, his dad excused himself.

"I should leave you two alone to get to know each other," his father said. "I should check up on your welcome dinner, anyway. Only the best for my son's spouse."

"Dad," David muttered.

"I'll see you two later," Gabe cut him off before leaving.

Culver seemed to deflate the second that the knights closed the door behind him. David was surprised, to say the least.

"Listen," they started, rubbing at their eyes, "I'm sure you're a nice guy, but you have to know."

"Know what?" David asked, shifting in his chair.

Culver took a deep breath. "I don't want to marry you. I never had any interest in marrying you, I just know that this will help my people. That's the only reason I'm here."

David felt a wave of relief wash over him. "Thank god," he muttered.

"Excuse me?" Culver asked.

"I'm so glad we're on the same page about this," David said. "I admire you being upfront about this."

"What else was I going to do? Lie? I only lie if I need to," Culver said. "It wouldn't benefit me to lie to you now. Especially since I was under the impression you wanted this."

"No, not at all," David said. "I was told that you were the one with the idea, actually."

"You're kidding," Culver said. "Is that what my parents said? No surprise, I guess, but still. Lord, cannot believe they would lie like that."

"So you don't want to get married to me?" David asked.

"Not at all," Sweetheart assured. "I'd much rather be running my own kingdom right about now, but this was the best thing to happen to my kingdom since I was young. This contract will be promising to my people."

David felt a smile creeping across his face. "That's how I feel, as well."

"That... was surprisingly easy," Culver said. "You're really okay with me having no interest in you whatsoever?"

"Absolutely," David said. "So long as you agree to keep up appearances and not fuck over me or my kingdom."

Culver chuckled, and it didn't sound at all like how they laughed before. Was David close to hearing what their real laugh sounded like? "Well, I definitely don't have plans for fucking you over. I'll keep up appearances if it means that I'll have my parents off my back, among other things."

"Well, good," David said, nodding.

There was a knock at the door, and then Milo was poking his head in. "Sir, you're being summoned by your father."

"I'll be right out," David said. "In the meantime, show Culver and their knight to their rooms, please?"

"Right away, sir."

David stood up, holding his hand out to Culver. They took it, standing up themselves. "I will see you at dinner," David said.

"Yes you will," Culver smiled. They were ushered out of the room by their knight.

David followed after a moment, Milo holding the door open. Once he was out, Milo shot him a look before leading the other two down the hall. Culver turned slightly to wave at him, that smile still there.

Perhaps this could work out, David thought, since they were already so in sync. Maybe they could be friends after all of this.

Only time would tell, he guessed.

[janeway-or-the-highway]

My entry for the @25daysofvoyager ! A little part 1 of a J/C fanfic. Fluff. Action/Adventure. Angst. Aliens mistaking JC as married again. Enjoy!

“Chakotay, please!”

Kathryn dodged another blow and stumbled backward.

“Chakotay! This isn’t you!” She shouted at him, still struggling to put any distance between them on her sprained ankle, before it finally gave out.

He strode toward her, but paused when he saw a large branch on the ground. He reached down and grabbed it, then seemed to test it in his hands.

“And how do you know this ‘isn’t me’?” Chakotay said, his voice deep, and dangerous.

“I know you!”

“No. You don’t,” he said, closing the distance between them and swinging the branch down on her.

THREE DAYS EARLIER

Captain’s Log:

“It is our second day in orbit around the planet Caldar. The Caldari are a very pleasant people and trade negotiations have gone well so far. The Caldari have graciously opened their planet to the crew for shore leave. Tuvok didn’t find anything to suggest bad intent and didn’t have any objections, which I guess is as close to a compliment as you can get from a Vulcan. It is nice to be reminded that the Delta Quadrant has just as many friendly species as dangerous ones. Everyone is in desperate need of some R&R. Myself included, as Chakotay is always reminding me. Being stuck in negotiations, Chakotay and I have only seen the government centers of Caldar, but I look forward to getting to explore this rich planet more. Chakotay mentioned hearing that the twin sunset over the cliffs of Rohem was worth exploring, and I am hoping to take him up on that. Tom and Harry keep coming back with stories to keep us entertained in the meantime. A personal highlight was Tom’s retelling of Harry’s failed attempt to ride, what Tom described as a horse-sized mix between a pig and a hippo. The Doctor says that Harry needs to be off-duty for 24 hours. I had to elbow Chakotay to keep him from bursting out laughing at the Doctor’s report; Harry’s already embarrassed enough as it is. However, that doesn’t mean that we won’t be enjoying those holo-photos later.

On the business side of things, Caldar continues to impress. The planet might as well be one giant ball of dilithium. You should have seen how fast B’Elanna made it to the bridge when the planet showed up on sensors. Their entire economy is built on the sale and trade of this material that we so often find ourselves scrounging for. At first, I worried about what they were going to ask for in exchange, but what the Caldari are most interested in are the various cultures of the Alpha Quadrant. Their people collect different cultures and integrate them into their own society. I recognize some bits and pieces of cultures from throughout the Delta Quadrant, while some things are completely new. However, the custom that is of the utmost importance is their one unique tradition. The Caldari take partnership very seriously. Their society includes partnerships of all kinds; males with males, females with females, and male with female, etc. Regardless of the type of partnership, once a pair has chosen each other, they become part of one another. This “sacred partnership” is at the heart of their civilization and they champion it above all else. However, from what I understand, they do not believe in the concept of soulmates, rather that they are all on a path that will one day lead them to their missing piece. It is a society built on the idea of the peaceful pursuit of love. It is quite beautiful.

Anyway, I am hoping to exchange our cultural database we will get enough dilithium to keep B’Elanna happy for quite some time.

Despite everything that this planet has given us, I find myself still apprehensive. The Delta Quadrant is rarely this kind and I…”

The chime to the ready room interrupted Kathryn’s log.

“Computer, end log” she said while pushing the console to the side,

“Come in.”

Chakotay walked in.

“Good morning, Commander,” a soft smile spread across her face.

“Good morning, Captain. I have the crew rotations for the next month.”

“Thank you. Have I missed any more of Tom’s stories since I’ve been off the bridge?”

“No, but you did miss Neelix’s rousing report promising ‘new and improved’ recipes for leola root” Chakotay chuckled as Kathryn’s face turned into a grimace.

“Hopefully they are better than his last ‘masterpieces.’ I’m still low on replicator rations from last time.”

“Me too. Mostly from you convincing me to get you more coffee,” Chakotay said with a knowing look.

Kathryn smirked, “Captain’s prerogative. Plus, you have to admit that his latest attempt at ‘better than coffee’ coffee was unbearable.”

Chakotay chuckled. “Well, if Caldari food is anything like their hospitality, I think that we will be alright.”

“Yes,” Kathryn stood and made her way over to the viewport. She clasped her hands behind her back, “The Caldari have been extremely welcoming to us.”

“But you’re worried,” Chakotay joined her at the viewport, “worried that they are too good to be true”

Kathryn gave him a sideways smile,

“Have you been reading my log?”

“No, I just know how you think”

“I feel like we are waiting for the other shoe to drop. We’ve been in trade negotiations for over a day and all they’ve asked for is Picasso and Kadis-Kot! My gut is telling me there is something more,” she sighed.

Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder, “We have one of our last trade meetings today. Whatever comes our way we have always been able to make it through. Today will be no different.”

Their eyes met and Chakotay couldn’t help but get caught in those pools of blue. Their relationship, after so much hardship, was finally starting to settle down again. Their weekly dinners were the highlight of his week and recently Kathryn was starting to let him in a little more. Not beyond anything that couldn’t be brushed off as close friendship, but still.

Chakotay knew that he had fallen for Kathryn a long time ago, from the moment they locked eyes on the bridge, but it was the shared moments like these where he recognized the depth of his feelings for her. He would wait for her. The angry warrior would stay by her side, for as long as it took.

Spirits, I’m lost.

“Thank you, Chakotay,” she said softly.

“Of course, Kathryn.”

“Tuvok to Captain Janeway.”

He dropped his hand from her shoulder.

Tuvok and his timing.

“Go ahead.”

“Captain, the Caldari ambassadors have arrived to begin negotiations. They are waiting for you and the Commander in the briefing room.”

“Thank you, Tuvok. We are on our way”

Chakotay moved towards the door, but Kathryn continued to stand looking out the viewport. Chakotay’s voice interrupted her worried thoughts,

“Are you coming, Captain?”

“Yes, I am right behind you”

Chakotay flashed her a smile and exited. Kathryn shook her head and followed after him.

Oh, I am so lost.

“Captain, I am glad that Voyager found its way to our corner of the galaxy. I think both of our people will benefit from these negotiations.” The Caldari ambassador, Turin, sat at the end of the briefing room table. The color of his skin reminded Kathryn of lilacs. The soft texture of his light purple skin was accompanied by small streaks of green that accentuated his humanoid cheekbones and jaw. His cheekbones stuck out on his face but seemed like they wrapped around his head towards the back of his skull, giving his face a sleek appearance.

“Thank you, Ambassador. I agree. I hope you find Alpha Quadrant culture as interesting as we do”

“Yes, there is much to explore. You have an extensive database on so many species! It will keep our scholars busy until the next Dual Eclipse!” The green streaks of his skin gave a soft glow with his excitement.

“I hope so, and if I may, I would recommend Dante. He is a philosopher from Earth’s history, and a personal favorite of mine.”

“Thank you for the recommendation. Now, Captain, I have a few formalities before we begin. Requirements from the High Council. You understand?” Turin said.

“Of course”

Turin reached into the satchel that sat on the floor next to him and brought out a beautifully bound book filled with greenish pages. When Turin opened the book, Kathryn realized that the pages’ green hue was similar in color to the streaks on the Caldari’s faces. She wondered if this was due to choice, or something in the planet’s biology that affected both of them. She suppressed the urge to ask as he began to speak.

“Captain, as you are aware, our society values partnership over everything else. You assured us that your culture assumes a similar view to the importance of partnership, which is what allowed us to begin this fruitful relationship between our two peoples in the first place. However, we are concerned, and frankly somewhat… off put, that you have yet to introduce us to your partner.”

Kathryn paused and tried to absorb what Turin was saying, “I’m sorry, Ambassador. I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

Turin’s mouth twitched, “We do not interact, or much less conduct trade, with peoples whose leader is unpartnered. It is an unspeakable offense. Furthermore, if we were to be led into an arrangement under false circumstances regarding one’s partnership status, we would consider that an act of aggression against our planet.”

Kathryn’s typically quick-witted diplomatic mind felt like it stalled out. A partner? She was the Captain! A relationship out here could never be a partnership. Not when every available person was someone under her command. “Ambassador, you have to understand, as Captain, I don’t -“

“You don’t what?” The threat was clear. Turin’s jovial attitude was long gone and his streaks shifted to a deeper green as his mood shifted.

“I-“ Kathryn started, but Chakotay’s hand coming to rest on hers stopped her. She resisted the urge to yank her hand out from under his as she locked eyes with him. As it often was with him, she needed no words to understand what he was saying:

Trust me.

And she did.

“Ambassador Turin,” Chakotay started, “I am the Captain’s life partner.” He moved his hand on hers to interlock their fingers. Kathryn let him, since all of her energy was being spent actively trying not to have the panic she was feeling on the inside show on her face. “You have to understand,” Chakotay continued, “the Captain is not used to sharing the status of our relationship since our job’s put us in a tricky position, considering that it could be taken advantage of by our enemies. If our feelings and commitment to one another were to become common knowledge, any number of species could use that to their advantage. And, sir, as you said, our culture values our partnerships, and you’re right. If anything were to happen to Kathryn, I would stop at nothing to get her back, including putting others at risk.”

Turin visibly calmed down, but seemed wary. “But why keep this information from us. We have shown nothing but hospitality to you!”

“We apologize and don’t mean to offend, but it is just something that we’ve gotten used to protecting.”

Turin seemed to accept this and clapped his hands together. “Oh, great happiness! We are glad to keep you as friends. Now, we must discuss the Three Trials.”

“The Three Trials?” Kathryn found her voice again, but still struggled to stay focused with her hand intertwined with Chakotay’s.

“The Three Trials are three tasks meant to prove your love and commitment to one another.”

Kathryn shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“This serves a dual purpose: one, to confirm your partnership, and, two, to determine if you are tjaasaktic. Will you comply?”

The universal translator faked to pick up the last word, but all Kathryn could think of was their desperate need for the Caldari’s friendship and trade. “When do we start?”

Should I do a part 2?

[gardenofyvess]

save a horse | j. miller preview

and all the ladies say,

“save a horse, ride a cowboy!”

cowboy!joel x black coded!southern!reader (anybody can still read, only hairstyles are specified)

warnings: js sweet ole girl dad joel, small bits of flirting, tommy’s a flirt and joel doesn’t like it, and joel is a lil awkward but we love him!!!

wc? 1.5k (this a preview y’all!)

if any lingo is wrong you’re fuckin lying because i’m a texan born and bred RAGHHHH 🦅🇺🇸

moving to austin from dallas with your dead best friend’s daughter wasn’t on your 2002 bingo card. ellie was precious to you for a number of reasons, her fiery attitude and brown eyes that reminded you of your best friend. it all hurt you, but this little girl came first. her safety came first.

“ellie! babe, c’mon now, you gotta at least unpack your room.” the teen looked up at you over the book that was barely propped up on her chest. ellie scrunched her face at you, “i am aunty, just give me a second. the house isn’t goin’ anywhere, i’ll be just fine.” you sighed heavily, leaning on the archway of her door. ellie’s been pretty normal, but you don’t think it’s normal for her to be normal.

she’s lost her mother, you cried for days after losing yours. you remember that feeling of emptiness; not being able to believe the woman who gave birth to you was gone. you purse your lips instead, sighing in a more gentle manner before moving closer to ellie. “c’mon, up! let’s go. we’re baking and meeting our neighbors.” ellie groaned but let you take her hands, whining when you pulled her all the way up out of the bed.

“promise not to run from me and i’ll make you the red velvet brownies you like.” you squished her cheeks in your hands while grinning from ear to ear. you knew your niece couldn’t resist them, even if she was mad at you for making her assist. ellie whined in your grip, squirming around to get your hands away from her cheeks. “fine! fine! oh my god those stupid nails hurt, aunty. jesus fuck.”

her response is a hit to the back of her head, “ow.” you snort as you make your way out of the room, tying your soft locs up into a ponytail. “then watch your mouth, sugar. hurry on downstairs when you’re done. i already started the oven.” did you lie about beginning to bake to get ellie to come out of the hole that was her bare room? yes. and you are very proud that it worked.

you’re barely tying your apron back around your waist when ellie’s loud stomps come down the stairs of your new house. she fakes a frown before smiling at the aroma of chocolate and strawberries, hints of vanilla stretching across the entire first floor. you pretend not to see the scene that unfolded in front of you, instead turning to your buttercream frosting that you were mixing. “ellie baby, can you get the pie shells out for me? poke holes in the bottom with the fork then sit them in the oven for a bit. you know the drill, sweet pea.” she hums in response, yanking her little apron off of it’s hook and tying it around her body.

ellie’s practically sliding around the kitchen in her black and red polka dot socks, having the time of her life racing no one in the space of the kitchen. you laugh at her antics, gesturing for her to come over to you, “come ‘nd taste the frosting, let me know if it’s too sweet or no.” she practically scrambles to you, taking the spoon from your hand. “umm, ‘s alright. it needs more vanilla and a little more powdered sugar.”

“ugh, my little baking champion thank you so much!” you kiss the side of her head and get back to work, letting her get back to her own job that you’d provided her with. she laughed softly at your comment before she went back to her previous job of poking holes in your pie crusts. it’s not long before you’re pulling brownies and cookies out of your oven, letting them cook before icing the cookies with such carefulness that it makes ellie laugh.

you allow ellie to scoop the apple pie mixture into the pie shells before she settles them back in after placing the lattice on top of all three pies you’d made. you wait around another hour to let the pies settle and pack everything up, letting ellie hold the cookies whilst you grab one of the pies. “ellie do i look okay?” you mumble to her, turning slightly in front of the mirror on the wall near your front door. she snorts, covering it up with a cough. “you look fine aunty. what? you wanna date the neighbors?”

“absolutely n- ellie!” your face heats but you don’t say much else, instead opening the door for your niece since her hands were more full than yours. you do look fine though. your little sundress you wore for the drive down here from dallas was a soft blue with light pink flowers patterned on it along with complimentary white sandals. it complimented your skin well, enhancing the glow of it against the sun. your soft locs were still in a ponytail from your baking, and you’d had your lashes done shortly before you moved. you were particularly satisfied with the lip combo you’d mustered up before you left; a pretty brown liner with a pink filler. perfect.

ellie sets the cookies down on the floor in the bottom of your backseat, and you follow suit by sitting the pie on top of the containers. the both of you climb into the car once you’re positive everything is in order and won’t fall over or anything of the sort. the drive to the next set of land isn’t far, maybe 5 minutes, and you get a chance to truly take in the beauty of the countryside in austin.

when you pull up, you notice that your neighbors seem to be leaving the house just as you drive up. there’s two older men and a little girl, and you can only assume she’s one of the men’s daughter. your eyes trail over the taller one, though. he’s buffer than the shorter one and has a full beard. your ‘thing’ for beards was really tempting you with this one. he was clearly older than you as if that helped your attraction, but you purse your lips and relax your shoulders. no need to be weird in front of the new neighbors already.

you park quickly, biting down on your lip to hold any final nervous remarks your niece could possibly make fun of you for. ellie grabs the pie since she’s already on the side, setting it on top of the car and grabbing the cookies. you hum a soft ‘thank you’ to her before grabbing the pie and making your way towards your neighbors.

“excuse me?” your voice is saccharine to joel’s ears, and he damn near gets whiplash trying to turn to see who’s voice he’s hearing. “are you the millers?” you follow up despite a lack of response from the older man. you smile sweetly and gesture for ellie to come towards you. joel nods dumbly, swallowing hard before stepping forward to greet you. the girl that you mentioned earlier, who looked a little older than ellie, giggled at her dad (uncle?), and skipped her way next to him.

“i- uhm- we- damn.” joel stuttered terribly, rubbing a hand over his face before sighing heavily. sarah giggles before speaking up for her stunned father. “hi!! i’m sarah miller, this is my dad joel and my uncle tommy.” she smiled brightly at the two of you, curls bouncing as she spoke. tommy nodded from next to sarah, sticking his hand out for you to shake. “hi, darlin’! i’m tommy, nice to see a new pretty face ‘round here.” you feel your smile widen a bit, flattered by the younger miller’s words. you reach your hand out to meet his, but tommy turns it in his hand and presses a kiss to the back of yours.

joel’s stare practically burns through the two of you.

“cute.” is all you say, gently taking your hand back to pull ellie towards you. “i’m (name) (last name) and this is my niece ellie williams. we just moved into the house a few minutes down the road and wanted to properly greet everyone. i come bearing gifts, of course, but i can put ‘em back until you guys come back if i have to?” joel shakes his head, smiling at the thought you’d clearly put into the baked goods. “no, that’s fine sugar. we were jus’ goin’ to get some groceries.” his hand brushes yours briefly as he takes the pie, and you feel electricity shoot up your spine. oh you want him.

“me ‘n ellie can go ahead and head out and let you three get to it. we’re sorry to interrupt, but i hope we could come back over some time just to hang out or for anything else.” joel’s eyebrows shoot up at the end of your question but if he caught onto anything he didn’t say much. “’course. thank you again for the cookies ‘n pie. real sweet of you to make ‘em, sugar.” you bite down on your lip to hide the smile threatening to appear on your lips. ellie laughs beside you, tugging on your arm after she’s handed off the cookies. you glance back up at him briefly before nodding your head towards the car, sending your niece towards it.

“no problem, cowboy.”

[rapha-reads]

I tried to resist the urge but at the end of the day ranting about Romeo and Juliet is my most favourite thing to do, and ranting about vampires is also in my top 10 regular hobbies, so...

Louis, Lestat, Armand and Balthasar, or, a R&J x IWTV unplanned rant.

Under the "read more" because it got long.

Balthasar is introduced in the play as "Romeo's man", often modernised in various adaptations as his valet or his page. The footnote in The Arden Shakespeare 2012 edition states that:

"Shakespeare introduced the name for the part in the play, though it is not, of course, his invention. The name, which is also found in Comedy Of Errors, Merchant of Venice and Much Ado, occurs only once in the text of R&J, even though the character speaks nearly 30 lines in the final act."

Three things from that only: it's a common enough name, at least in Shakespearian texts, that the character could be switched for another one; he's so inconsequential that he barely even managed to make his name known ; yet despite his apparent unimportance, his role at the end is extremely crucial in closing in the tragedy.

What lines does Balthasar speaks and whom does he speak to throughout the play?

Man waits until Act III scene 1 to make his entrance. Given his function as Romeo's man, you'd think he'd be a bit more present before that point, but no, Balthy waits until everything's gone bad to arrive like "Grandma, it's me".

Romeo asks him "How doth my Juliet? That I ask again, / For nothing can be ill if she is well." The beginning of his answer could lead you to think that he's about to lie so that Romeo can still be "all well", but, naaaah, sike, he's here to deliver news and he's going to do his job. And the way he does it doesn't leave any details to the imagination:

"Then she is well and nothing can be ill. Her body sleeps in Capel's monument, And her immortal soul part with angels lives. I saw her laid low in her kindred's vault, And presently took post to tell it to you. O, pardon me for bringing these ill news, Since you did leave it for my office, sir."

"Her immortal soul"... We'll come back to that point when we'll get to the vampires. Interesting to note that he says he saw with his own eyes Jules' laid down in the Capulet's tomb, but there's no indication in the text prior to that line that he really did. Some stage adaptations have Balthasar lurking around as Capulet and Cie put her in it, most movies totally ignore Balthasar's entire role - which I will come back to in the second part too. In a way, one could think that Balthy didn't see anything, he just heard the news like any other Veronese people, and didn't wait for more information or even actual confirmation and hurried on ("took post") to tell his master. Which, he does say it himself, that's his job, to keep Romeo informed of the going-ons of Verona in general and Juliet in particular. But, man, what are your sources, actually? Whose your informant? What authenticity does your information have, except from "source: myself"?

And then homeboy has the audacity to tell a desperate and ready to commit all kinds of violence Romeo to "have patience. / Your looks are pale and wild, and do import / Some misadventure." You think?? After this we lose track of Balthy while Romeo goes soliloquising looking for his cuppa poison. ... I don't want to tell you how to do your job, Balthy, but aren't you supposed to always follow your master closely...? How are you losing him so easily? Well, to be fair to him, Romeo does send him to "hire those horses", but that's a really thin excuse.

Balthasar reappears then in the Comedy of Situations that is "everybody and their mothers come visit Juliet's body" (you know, Warm Bodies did have a point; the zombies and necrophilia jokes do write themselves). First he enters with Romeo, and then for once shows some working brain cells when Romeo tells him to peace out and he tells himself "For all the same, I'll hide me hereabout. / His looks I fear, and his intents I doubt." Yes, thank you Balthy, maybe stay inside the crypt itself... Nope, okay, I don't know where he hid but Paris "14yo is perfectly acceptable to marry when I'm 30" Escalus makes his own appearance unbothered and unstopped. Great scouting skills there. Granted, he was the first on the scene actually, but if Balthy really hid close by, he should have witnessed the altercation and maaaaybe stop it. But no. I think he's having a drink with Paris' page. Current body count: 3 (yeah, Juliet's not dead yet, for those following).

Then Friar Laurence arrives on the scene. Oh, hello, Friar My-Ideas-Will-Definitely-Work-Trust-Me-Bro. Balthy emerges from the shadows (from where? Who knows, not me and certainly not Willie the Bard himself; homeboy was lurking, planning the best moment to reappear to create maximum chaos I guess). Their discussion goes something like this:

Laurie: who're you? Balthy: come on bro, you know me. Laurie: oh, hey Balth, so nice to see you? But what the heck are you doing here? Balthy: yeah I'm here with Romeo that fail emo lord lol. Laurie: Romeo? Whaaaat? How long has he been here? Balthy: eeh, 30 minutes? Maybe 45? Dunno but it's been a while. Laurie: Jesus fucking H Christ, okay, let's get into the fucking crypt. Balthy: no thanks, without me. I told Romeo I was leaving and if he sees me still here he's going to break my neck. Laurie: ugh, fine, you coward. I'll go alone and I'm not even afraid. Actually I lied I'm scared out of my mind but I'm better than you so nah! I'm going in. Balthy, walking away: oh yeah, another thing, I was napping, ahem, keeping watch, and I think I dreamed, I mean, hallucinated Romeo killing another dude. But I don't think that's real. Anyway, hasta la vista, losers! [Exit] (sadly not pursued by a bear)

I paraphrased, naturally. And... That's Balthasar's last lines. So to recap: he's supposedly Romeo's man, hence, by his job's function, supposed to always be with him and protect him; he only appears at the end of the story to make sure that no one else can get to Romeo first and maybe tell him about Laurence's plot. He always says he's going to keep an eye on Romeo, or tries to get him to stop, but actually never does anything. Literally, by his own admission, while he's supposed to make sure Romeo doesn't do anything drastic visiting Juliet's tomb, he took a nap: "As I did sleep under this yew tree here"! And the only two people he speaks to are Romeo, whose sole purpose at this point is to die, and Friar Laurence, whose role is to fake-kill Juliet, which leads to both of them dying.

Given all of those elements, one could then consider Balthasar's role in the play as an agent of Death. Death being a character in Her own right in the play, according to some readings (I admit, the idea of Death being the one pulling the strings as Fate would do is something I very much like but is very much inspired by the French musical).

So. Balthasar, agent of Death, purposefully or accidentally, but undeniably, leading the main character to his own death and carefully not stopping nor even interacting with characters who could stop the final act.

And that's who Louis-as-Lestat compares HIMSELF to. Yeah, Louis calls himself Balthasar, let that sink in. So, spoiler alert for those like me who haven't read the books, but Armand later on is going to lie and tell Louis that Lestat died in the fire that burned down the theatre, lie that Louis will totally believe and that will certainly influence the decades of his relationship with Armand. We know Louis is absolutely not over Lestat, we know Lestat is weak at this point, and wants to scare Louis but also get him back, and we know Armand is a lying liar who lies and twist the truth to better serves him. And we know Armand was jilted by Lestat and while he (genuinely?) loves Louis, he's also bitter that Louis got what he himself couldn't get. We also know that Louis is extremely conflicted by his vampiric nature, that he's a stone cold killer but he's also constantly trying to get away from it, that he hates himself and all vampires but also hates humans and all of humanity. We know Louis feels immense guilt at what he thinks is Lestat's murder, and that this guilt is weighing on him enought hat he conjures up a mental Lestat to follow him around and sass, bitch, moan, comment and critique for him.

So, why is it interesting that Dreamstat calls Louis a Balthasar?

Let's go back to two points already evoked earlier. Balthasar makes a point of mentioning Juliet's immortal soul - in the text, it's evident enough, they're Catholics, Heaven, Hell, bla bla bla. Transposed to the idea of vampires, it does lead one to question first if vampires have souls, secondly, what are the limits of immortality. It links to Louis' questioning of his faith, the morals that he fiercely defends but abandons rather quickly when they don't suit him anymore, and his survivor's guilt vis-à-vis his brother first and Lestat secondly.

The second thing is the way Balthasar is generally erased from the known Romeo and Juliet narrative. From an intradiegetic POV, Louis could mean it as "I'm Balthasar because this story is not my story, I barely even appear, only at the very end, and even then, I'm not important, and I certainly do not want to be the focus of attention" (which could also be linked to the coven complaining that Louis hunts sloppily and will expose them all, and that's actually a point in the Death's emissary column, huh). From an extradiegetic POV, the writers might have chosen to compare Louis to Balthasar because in most screen adaptations, the first part of his role is given to Benvolio (announcing Juliet's death) and the second part (talking with Laurie) is totally erased. Which means that people who haven't read the play (or have but aren't totally obsessed with it *cough cough*) and only know the story through the movies or the musical, would have NO idea who Balthasar is. And that's what Louis tries to be: a nobody, a Monsieur-Tout-Le-Monde, unimportant, invisible, unknown. The way Balthasar is for everybody. Quasi inexisting.

And the final part of the parallel, and that one is definitely extradiegetic, is that Louis brings Death wherever he goes (although maybe in a way, after Lestat and the woman vampire in Romania, Louis thinks that of himself too, but let's not go there just yet). His arrival in Paris is what disturbs the equilibrium of the coven, makes Armand questions what he's doing here and how long he can keep going like this, drives Claudia even more away from him, and intensifies the resentment and inner conflicts of the coven. Which will all lead to the theatre burning dow, the coven dying, Claudia dying, Lestat presumed dead and 70 years of toxic married Loumand. Unintentionally, the way Balthasar seemingly unintentionally too, doesn't protect Romeo, which leads to not only his and Juliet's but also Tybalt and Mercutio's deaths (and Paris too). Unintenionally, but who's pulling Balthasar's strings, Death, Fate itself? Who's pulling Louis' strings? Armand? Lestat? Or is he such an unreliable narrator that he's passing himself as a victim of circumstances while the reality is that he's fully aware of what he's doing...? To be determined.

If you've made it to here, thank you so much and don't hesitate to tell me what you think! You can find my Tybalt/Mercutio fic here, and my essay on adaptations of Tybalt and Mercutio on screen here.

[wordy-little-witch]

HIIII IM INTERNING :'D

ALSO, from the recent ghost roger (ghoger?), wat was the spy incident thingy? 👀👀 did buggy crossdress or something? Im also gld that rog was pissed that his boys wer left alone jdjsjsjz he mustve been so sad that they separated too, atleast rogue is w him hnggg

Also, can we know abt wat roger thinks now that his clown son is one of the most eligible bachelor/ette in the grand/line and abt his polycule? lmao

Hiiii welcome to hell! (/j)

In order, my beloved:

1) yes Buggy did cross dress. It was a common theme growing up, and even up to the present. Clothes being gendered is super stupid to him, so he just wear what he wants, when he wants, and anyone who has an issue with it gets stabbed and or choked out (not even by Buggy nowadays. The crew and guildmen are very protective)

2) as for the incident itself, it boils down to Shanks and Buggy going on a miniature adventure that very quickly spiraled out of control. They were on an island, following a treasure map, and the map itself was. Very old. So the map was a little bit outdated. A town had settled in the area of the woodland where it was supposedly buried. But the town was a high class area. So the kids decided to sneak in and look around from there. This was soon after Buggy ate the Chop Chop fruit, and they were agonizing over how to get into the town without drawing suspicion. Shanks has the idea to Chop off Buggy's nose, but they couldn't get a prosthetic. So then Buggy had an idea to get a veil from one of the local middle class towns. Only issue is that the veils were worn by women and girls. Men don't wear the veil on that island. So he shrugs and goes "Alright I'll just be a girl for today, no biggie."

They get their outfits, dress up, and go into town. Looks are sent their way for a while but it's nothing agrressive so they're vibing happily. They even manage to figure out that the treasure is likely around this one area, near a book shop. They stop by, trying to be stealthy, and the shopkeeper sees a blue haired child in traditional wear and a red haired boy in simpler traditional clothes and snatches them up without hesitation.

He calls Buggy "princess Kíli" and calls Shanks "Kai'o" and gives them a lecture on sneaking out of the palace walls so frequently. The kids are bamboozled. They never do get the treasure, but they do get taken to the palace. Turns out "princess Kíli" is infact the only daughter of the island's king, and she's a spitfire of a little girl with a tendency to get into trouble. "Kai'o" is her guard, a boy two years older than her, and both are little troublemakers.

So Buggy and Shanks accidentally get taken into the palace, accidentally gl undercover, accidentally uncover a lot of shitty stuff the kingdom is doing, and as a result wind up getting found by Roger and the crew and flip the entire island on its head. Kìli and Kai'o were actually involved with a revolutionary group at the time so things went.... fine, in the end.

Buggy never got to live it down that he got mistaken as a lively little princess. Roger to this day will call him his little princess, and every time Buggy craves a strong drink or a severe concussion.

((Buggy also stole a frankly unfathomable amount of riches from the palace btw. Like. A comical amount. They get back to the ship and Buggy unceremoniously starts unloading gold and jewels and books and a... a chandelier....? Nobody knows how he managed it. Shanks is just cackling. Buggy keeps going. The piles grow higher. Roger can't breathe. Rayleigh needs someone else to deal with this- IS THAT A LIFE SIZED GOLDEN HORSE-?))

3) when Roger finds out what actually happened, yes he is fucking livid. It only helps that his kids actually managed to be more mature about it than the LITERAL ADULTS and managed to mostly talk things out. Shanks and Buggy didn't split AS badly in this au. There's still some hurt and uncertainty, but they are Red and Blue, Shanks and Buggy, Day and Night, Sky and Sea. They're ship-brothers, besties, allies. They just fight a lot. It's a given. Their love language is bullying (/hj). Shanks has someone he doesn't have to Keep Up Appearances For, and Buggy doesn't have someone he needs to Hold Back On. Roger is proud of them.

4) as for Buggy being the focus of so many Attentions, well. He laughs at first. He'd always said Buggy would grow up to be swiping treasure and hearts alike. He absolutely saw this coming.

Then the Protective Dad Mode activates. These bozos think they're good enough for his baby blue?? Hell nah. Ouija board shovel talks are only the beginning. If someone wants his baby's attention, then they have to be cool with a lot of weird shit, and Roger is absolutely going to be putting them through a trial by fire.

Buggy is Highly Desired, and Roger is caught between being so proud and frothing at the mouth.

And anyone who thinks that he's bad hasn't even begun to think on Rouge.

It's a hot mess.

Perona, however, is very happy she has grandparents!

[rafesproactiveprettygirl]

You can look but you can’t touch || JJ Maybank ||

a/n: this is inspired by that old trend on tiktok where you and your significant other have to try not to kiss, you can be as close to each other as you want and touch each other as much as you want but you just can’t kiss. whoever kisses the other first loses!!

warnings: sexual jokes and cussing, other than that just pure fluff

You had seen the TikTok pop up on your for you page not too long ago, you just never got around to making it. But today was the perfect day, you and JJ were alone in the chateau and no one would be there for a while. Pope was working, Kie and Sarah were shopping, Sarah dragged her into to. And John B was surfing. You and JJ had agreed to spend the whole day with each other so why not spice it up a bit?

You skipped to your shared room with JJ and saw him lying down on the bed, one hand beside his head and one holding his phone as he scrolled absentmindedly through Instagram.

“Jayj” You hummed as you jumped on the bed next to him. He turned to face you, a smile forming. “What’s up baby?” You grab his hand and pull him towards you. “Sit up real quick!” You said excitedly. He laughed and set his phone down. “Alright alright hold your horses.” He sat up and adjusted himself to where he was sitting cross crossed in front of you and you were rested on your knees.

You tongue poked out as you focused on setting the phone up and switching to the camera, pointing it directly to you and JJ. “What’s this for?” he said as he wiggled his eyebrows. You laughed and turned to face him.

“So,”

“So?”

“I saw this Tiktok,” You started. “And basically you and your partner have to try not to kiss each other. You can touch each other as much as you want and be as close as you want, but you just can’t kiss. Whoever kisses the other first loses!” You smiled brightly. He couldn’t help but grin at your excitement.

“And i’m assuming you want to give it a try?” You nodded. He hummed as if he was thinking about it. “What does the winner get?” You bit your lip at the question, thinking of an answer. “Whatever they want?” You asked more than told. He laughed and nodded. “Alright let’s get this over with.” You bounced with joy as you pressed record on the camera, it tracked JJ’s every move and you smile seeing him watching you with adoration.

You turned to face him. “Okay, we can start.” You mimicked his motion and sat cross crossed, hands in your lap. You too stared at each other for a while, just enjoying each others company. Until JJ got bored and grabbed your hand, stroking your fingers as you played with his rings. He leaned forward a little, getting close to you, making it all the more tempting for you to kiss him.

You smirked, leaning forward as well. You two were still a good distance from each other. “So your challenging me?” He asked. “Maybe I am.” You shrugged nonchalantly.

“Challenge accepted.” He responded before leaning closer, your nose bumped against his as his lips caressed yours. He really was about to make this hard.

You giggled, no matter how long you two were dating, you always became nervous in his presence. His brought his hand up to your face, cupping it and using his thumb to lightly rub your bottom lip. His eyes wandered to your lips, you almost thought he was going to kiss you so you leaned forward, he smirked and leaned all the back to his original position, causing you to frown.

“Dick.”

“You like this dick.”

“JJ!!” You gasped turning away, face burning. He laughed, brushing some hair out of your face. “I’m just teasing sweetheart, don’t get all shy on me now.” You were annoyed with how far away he was so you scooted closer and grabbed his face pulling him closer so your foreheads were touching and your noses grazed each other.

You closed your eyes, enjoying your warmth. “I love you J.”

“I love you more baby.”

“If you love me so much why don’t you prove it?” You smirked, opening your eyes. He chuckled lowly before grabbing your hips and pulling you to straddle him. Your faces were inches apart as your legs were on either side of his and his arms wrapped around your torso. You blushed at the new position and he took a mental note.

“Your blushing.” He smirked.

“Shut up.” You breathed. You knew you were going lose, this was honestly probably the longest you’d gone without kissing JJ. You two were obsessed with each other, always with each other, always close.

“You know, one little kiss and we can end this. Then we can kiss as much as you want.” JJ whispered against your lips. Your eyes fluttered shut. “I don’t want you to have that satisfaction.”

You felt him smirk against you and let out a loud gasp when you were suddenly flipped on your back, JJ pining himself on top of you. One hand held him up as one gently rested on the base of your neck. “Come on Y/N, your just hurting my feelings.” He teased.

Finally you gave in, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down to you. Your lips met his as you two kissed passionately. His mouth felt warm on yours as his other hand stroked your cheek. When you two pulled back he smiled, “You lost.”

“Round two?”

[welikeimagines-andfandoms]

Kinktober Day 8: Master and Slave- Jaskier

Summary: it has been far too long since Jaskier visited you and that deserves a punishment

Word count: 3,150 words

The bard and the Witcher had been travelling for a lot longer than either of them cared for. Tired, hungry and honestly a little smelly, all they wanted was a nice bath, a feed and maybe a pint, or five. At this point honestly any town would do, they just hadn’t come across one in a long while.

As they trod down the road, the path felt familiar to Jaskier. He swore he’d been here before. As he passed a little abandoned cottage he knew exactly where they were going towards. He’d been to this town years ago and he knew an inn keeper who was very hospitable.

Thoughts of you shooting through his mind made his dick instantly become strained in his pants. He was sure Geralt could smell the aroused on him at this point.

“There’s a town about 30 more minutes down the road. I know we wanted to get back sooner but surely a night or two couldn’t hurt.” Jaskier told his friend as his horse began to catch up with Roach.

Geralt was hoping to make better time but honestly the bard was right, they were in need of a good rest and getting off this road.

“Fine.” Was all Geralt grunted out as they continued on.

*********

Riding through the town to find the stables, Jaskiers eye catches a glimpse of your tiny inn. He hoped and prayed you’d have a room for him and the Witcher, not just so he could sleep in an actual bed for once but so he could feel your touch again.

They managed to find a stable to keep the horses in for a couple of nights. Jaskiers heart beat faster and faster as he and Geralt approached your inn. His racing heart must have sounded like a loud speeding drum to the Witcher.

As Jaskier walked through the front door memories of that wonderful couple of nights he spend with you raced back. All of a sudden he was desperate to have your hands around his throat again and your hands brutally tugging on his hair. He wanted you to hurt him, punish him; he could practically hear your words of degradation as his pants began to become tighter again.

They approach the clerk desk to inquire about a room for the night, before Geralt had the opportunity to ding the little bell, you had already appeared. Giving Geralt a smile and welcoming him as he inquires about the room, your gaze never leaving the Witcher’s.

Jaskier started to get antsy as you put all your attention on Geralt, you hadn’t even glanced at him, though you gave very intense eye contact and even pushed your chest forward as you spoke to Geralt. Jaskier was so desperate, he wanted your attention so badly. He stood there awkwardly moving from foot to the other as he played with his fingers and giving you big puppy dog eyes, feeling like a child needing a teachers attention.

You knew Jaskier stood there, you knew the moment he walked into your inn, you wanted to make him sweat, wanted to get him all needy before you’d even touched him. You did make sure to touch the Witcher however, lightly touching his fingers with yours when you handed him the key and even squeezing his bicep as he went to go up the stairs from the entrance.

“Are you bard by any chance? Sorry I didn’t catch your name.” You ask, playing dumb.

“J-Jaskier, me Jaskier, Uh- ah, ye-yes. I’m I’m a bard.” Jaskier stammered out, all of a sudden extremely nervous as all your attention was zeroed in on him, you still refusing to touch him though.

“Good, I have an event tomorrow night and our bard cancelled on us. Would you meet me here after you’ve put your things away and we can discuss it?” You ask him, body now extremely close to his and yet still not touching as you hold an intense gaze and a cheeky smirk.

“O-okay.” Jaskier stammered out once again.

“Good.” You simply said, lightly touching Jaskiers forearm and quickly prancing away, making sure to move your hips a bit more than necessary.

That small touch of his forearm was enough to make Jaskier almost cum on the spot. Looking to his Witcher friend, he found him with a smirk on his face as they both head up to their seperate rooms.

*********

Only a few minutes later, Jaskier was back down the stairs and in your front lobby, waiting for you, already trying to be your good boy.

“Alright, bard, follow me.” You stated as you walked past him and led him out the door. Walking ahead of him as you lead him to the barn behind your inn.

You didn’t say a single word on the short walk there, not even a glance over your shoulder.

As you got in the barn you were quick to grab a wooden chair and sit right down on it, making your breasts bounce as you did, Jaskier definitely noticing.

“Close the doors.” You said to him with a stone cold face. He knew he was in trouble and he couldn’t be happier.

“On your knees, in front of me.” Came your next command as the doors were quickly closed.

Obediently he dropped to his knees right between your split legs. Taking your hair down and loosening your bodice top, you leaned back and roughly grabbed onto his hair, pulling him closer to you.

You lean forward, coming extremely close to his face, you pull his hair back. You can see his breath speeding up and gulping as his body quaked.

“Now, little slave of mine, you’ve been very naughty.” You growl at him, pulling his hair harder.

“I’m sorry, mistress.” He moaned out.

“It’s been so long and you haven’t visited me, my little slave.” You tauntingly sway his head side to side.

“Mistress I’m sorry, please let me make it up to you!” He gasped and moaned desperately.

“Oh no, little slave. You’d like to eat mistresses pussy. Oh no, little slave, you’re going to get a proper punishment. I’m going to punish you properly and you’re going to take it. You’re mine, slave!” You gruffly scold him.

“If you take your punishment like a good boy then mistress might ride you and might even let you cum.” You look down on him with a cheeky smile, hand now removed from his hair and instead place on either side of his face, gently stroking his cheeks.

“Now go be a good slave, lock the barn doors and strip down for me.”

Jaskier was quick to lock the large doors and was even more quick when removing his clothes. He stood in front of you awkwardly for some time. You just watched him, wanting to make him more and more nervous. You could see the way he shuddered for the slight chill of the night and how hard he tried to always bring his eyes back to you.

“Hands and knees in front of me, head facing the door.” You finally spoke, causing Jaskier to relax a little. As before he was once again quick to obey orders, on hands and knees, perfectly in front of you.

Leaning down you admired the almost too eager bard beneath you. Taking your hands you laced them in his gorgeous brown locks once again, slowly pushing his head down into the rough ground of the barn. As his head went down his behind pushed up and out.

Once he reached the ground you replaced your hand on his head with your boot, pushing his head further into the rough ground. As your boot pushes down harder he lets out a mix of a grunt and a moan.

You push the chair further forward so you can lean over him, your hand snaking along his right hip. Feeling his trembling form underneath your hand just made you more excited.

“Now, little slave, you haven’t returned to me in about 2 years so that’s about 24 months. How about because I’m feeling generous, we round it down and say that I give you 20 slaps. How does that sound?” You ask him seductively as your hand begins to stroke his cheeks.

“Yes, mistress. Twent-ty would be goo-ood.” Jaskier stammers as he realises just how many that is. It scares him a little but the thought of your hand coming down on him so many times and the feel of your words and the sting of your hits just excites him so much.

“You know it’s difficult punish such a dirty little slut. Your cocks already so hard it’s digging into the dirty. You’re a filthy boy, slave and you’re going to take your punishment. You’re also going to count for me. I do worry though, I mean twenty I’d such a big number for such a stupid little bard. Do you think you’ll be able to count that high.” You taunt him, knowing he loves your harsh words.

“Y-yes mistress, I’ll count each one for you. I’ll be a good boy.” You complies, almost begging for you to begin.

“We’ll see.” You simply say as the first blow hits him.

“One, mistress!” Jaskier yells out.

He continues calling out with each blow. His words becoming more stammered and indistinguishable with each hit.

By the time your last blow lands and the final number falls from his lips, he’s a a crying and babbling mess. His ass red and body quaking much more than when you began.

Releasing your boot from his head you lightly drag his head up off the ground. Dirt is caking his face as it’s mixed with his tears and perspiration. Lightly brushing away the dirt on his face and hair, you cradle his sweet face.

Jaskier looks at you with a dazed face and glassy eyes. Lightly you wipe away his tears and kiss his sweet face.

“You took your punishment so well, my good boy.” You encourage him, your once cruel words now becoming soft and kind.

“Thank you, mistress.” He gently whispers back with a dizzy smile.

“Do you want mistress to ride you now? Show you how good she can make you feel?” You ask him gently as he begin to stroke his face.

Even in his dazed state he still lights up as the promise of you riding him, meeting you with a boyish smile. Seeing you on top of him, staring intently into his eyes as you draw his pleasure out from him.

“Yes, mistress.” He answered softly.

“Okay then, my good boy, let’s get you dressed and we’ll go inside. A nice comfy bed for my good boy to pleasure his mistress.” You sweetly tell him, now helping him to his feet.

Dressing him together you both show your more softer sides of times like this. Gently putting on his clothes, especially his trousers, as you both stop often to kiss and hold one another.

Once Jaskier is dressed and checked in on you take his hand and lead him back to your little room right next to the front desk. Luckily it was later in the evening and it was not likely that there would be any new visitors, and ones you did have were all sleeping or busy in the tavern.

Lightly pulling on Jaskiers hand you directed him into your little bedroom attached to the clerks desk. Once you were in the room you situated yourself at your desk and stared at Jaskier intently.

“Take off your clothes for me, Jaskier. Nice and slowly.” You told him, beginning to loosen the bodice of your dress to free and play with your breasts.

You watched him intensely with every move of his body as each item of clothing was once again removed, and like the good boy he is, neatly placed them on top of your dresser.

By the time he was completely naked, one of your feet was already on a small stool as you lightly rub your clit, giving Jaskier a nice little show. He stood there looking between your eyes and your fingers as they spread your wetness across your pussy. His eyes so desperate and needy, his cock bobbing with excitement.

Looking directly into Jaskiers eyes, you hold his gaze intensely, feeling like he could cum just watching you alone. Before he could get too excited, you stopped abruptly, taking your foot off the stool and throwing the skirts of your dress back down as you stood.

“Lay on your back on the bed. Hands above your head and don’t you dare move them.” You ordered, now standing directly in front of him, grabbing his face.

“Yes, mistress.” He moaned as his eyes fluttered close.

Once you released his face he ran to the bed and followed your instructions exactly. Seeing the handsome bard laid out on your bed, cock rock hard and twitching, made your skin tingle and your pussy throb.

Slowly you began to strip out of your own clothes. First putting your leg up on the desk and throwing your skirts up your leg as you began to untie your boots. Next you teasingly removed your skirts, slowly and methodically as your eyes raked over your little bard.

Jaskier looked at you hopefully, internally begging and waiting for you to climb onto his lap. A frown formed on his face as instead of making your way to the bed, you went to your dresser drawers.

“I got a couple new toys for us since your last visit,” you tease him as you pull out a mouth gag and pieces of rope to show him “I’d hoped you’d be around again and I remembered how loud and fidgety you were last time, my little slave.” You tease him seductively.

Slowly you begin to approach the bed and just like he’d been waiting for you crawled up his body, leaving kisses and love bites all up his legs, thighs, stomach and chest. Finally finding your spot on his lap you begin to teasingly rub your wet folds on his hard cock, causing you both to moan.

“Palms together and mouth open.” You ordered as you continued grinding on him.

Reaching down you plunged your tongue into Jaskiers waiting mouth, kissing him in a heated and almost feral attack as you quickly replace your mouth with the gag. Once fastened behind his head you grab at both of his cheeks, squishing them and tauntingly moving his head side to side.

“Such a pretty little slut. Only good for taking orders and filling my pussy.” You taunt him with a wicked smile, lightly slapping his face before tying the rope around his hands and to the head board.

Sitting back you stopped your grinding and looked at the bard in front of you. Spit falling out of his mouth and covering his lips, trying so hard to stop himself moaning. Strong arms pulled all the way up and tied above his head. Sexy little bard in your bed and he was all yours, he’d do anything you said and would beg you to use his body just for your own pleasure.

“You ready, whore.” You whisper in his ear, hand coming down to twist and play with his sensitive nipple.

“-es -issess” he mumbled through the gag. Coming up from his ear you lightly kiss his face as you position yourself over his cock.

You begin to slowly tease him again, lowering and grinding on him at a maddening pace. You knew how you tortured him. As his eyes begin to close you slam your hips down, causing his head to fly back and a loud gagged cry to escape him.

“Fuck, that’s a pretty sound.” You smirk down at him, pressing your hands into his chest as you bounce on his cock.

He’s a drooling and moaning mess, trying to hard to keep his eyes on you. He needs you to slow down, already feeling too overstimulated, but you don’t. You could see he was close already.

“You better not fucking cum yet, you whore!” You growl at him as your bouncing continues, hard and unrelenting.

“-lese” he begged through his gag, tearing now falling down his face.

“Can’t even hold your cum, huh? Such a desperate little whore. Can’t even make mistress cum first. Maybe I should bring that Witcher down here, he could make me cum.” Hearing this Jaskier moans even louder.

“Aaaww, does my little slave like that idea? Want to embarrass you? See the big strong Witcher fuck his mistress right in front of him? Fuck, might even tie you to the chair, force you to watch. He could fuck me for hours and not cum.” You taunting continues as you ride him hard and stare right into his eyes.

“Mistress will let your hands go so that you could touch her clit. If you touch her anywhere else then I won’t let you cum. You understand?” You ask grabbing his face once again.

Gag in mouth and your hand roughly grabbing his face he can’t really produce many words but you do get an eager nod in return.

“Good.” You reply harshly as you undo the knots on his hands.

One of his hands landing beside him on the bed as the other reaches for your clit. Rubbing it with the same harsh pace as your thrusts you cum also immediately.

“Oh fuuuuckk!” You scream out. “Cum, Jaskier, cum for me!” You shout as your orgasm pulsates through your body.

Almost immediately Jaskier cries out through his gag, head thrown back and tears falling from his eyes.

Slowing your movements you watch the bard with fascination and care, making sure he was okay but also relishing in his stupid blissed out state.

Your thrusts come to a halt as you gently reach up and remove his gag, kissing his swollen lips and the tears that have fallen down his face.

“You did good, baby boy. Mistress is going to get up now but she’s just going to get a nice cloth to clean you up and another blanket.” You tell him, stroking his face, making him rub his face into your hand.

Slowly you rise off his softening cock, causing him to whimper out. Going to the corner of your small room you wet a little cloth with water from the basin and pick up a nice big warm blanket.

Returning to the bed you gently wipe him and yourself clean, making sure to be gentle and soft. Once you were sure he was okay you placed the blanket over the both of you.

“Do you think a swollen ass and I drained cock would be a good enough excuse to convince Geralt to stay here a couple more days?” He asked lightly chuckling as he drifts off to sleep.

[neverchecking]

Hello

So, we've seen the post. Rather, you've all seen it and told me about it, with some very hateful comments by the way <3

Let's discuss.

Moss and I's relationships started around this time last year. We dated. There were good times, I can admit that, but evidently, there was also bad. We broke up February 4th of 2024.

Let me repeat.

February 4th.

Bailey and I had gotten together February 18th. Two weeks. There was no cheating like there claims to be. We had two weeks, which may seem like moving fast, which I can admit it was, but as you can see in said screenshots, Moss and myself both checked out of the relationship far before that.

As we explained to Cloud, not Moss by the way, which this entire thing could've been avoided if they had come to me directly where we could've talked one on one like I attempted to do before we broke up, the screenshots show the timelines in which our conversations lasted. And like we explained, sometimes they lasted hours. Others? Minutes and if that's if I got a response at all.

I could provide the evidence that I tried during our relationship. Whenever we asked however, they went back to demanding for us to provide it for them.

Now, the day Moss and I broke up seems to have a timeline that doesn't match up. So let's patch that up, because there are a few very convenient details left out.

Moss tells Bailey, not their girlfriend at the time, that they are worried about said girlfriend.

Bailey tells girlfriend, I.E. Myself, that Moss is worried.

I ask to call Moss, who declines saying they're on call with Sketch, telling me I can join. If you can't see why joining a call with someone else, let alone a minor, to talk about your relationship, then I can't help you I'm afraid.

I decline, saying we can call later. How does Moss respond? By drinking.

Hours pass by and I request to call again, however, now under the influence, Moss is unable to have a conversation at the degree that needed to happen.

So we sleep on it and the next day, we break up.

That was it. That was what happened. Believe who you want to believe, I honestly don't care, but I can sleep easy knowing that I tried. I tried so hard. You point out that if I was so unhappy, why didn't I leave earlier?

Because when I did leave, you still hated me. I could not have won no matter which direction I went. I was at a lose-lose situation where I had to take my loses as they came. And you know what? I was okay with that.

You're right with one thing. My needs were not met. Believe it or not, relationships are meant to help fulfill some needs and when that's not being done, obviously somethings going wrong. I can't help with that either. We never manipulated anyone. You never asked. And saying 'yes we did' does not count if it's followed by a /hj or /j.

Now, the QPR. That also has some details conveniently left out.

For example, how it started. I bet you didn't know that it started in the very original group chat. The one with myself, Bailey, and, you guessed it, Moss. Moss was there when we discussed doing it and expressed they were okay with it, we would just need to further discuss the boundaries. Which was fine! If they had ever actually talked to us about it.

But they never did, despite us bringing it up several times.

Admittedly, the QPR tag was simply us being best friends. That was it. Of course they would say they didn't get to set boundaries, because anything otherwise would imply they can be in the wrong in any capacity. I have no problems admitting I made mistakes. Not once has Moss ever done so. Which, fine. Ride that high horse. Like I said, it makes no difference to me.

I won't speak on Glowy and Bailey's relationship since I wasn't apart of it. I don't know the details. I won't act like I do.

Bailey and I did make sexual jokes to each other. Why? A) We were both adults. B) We were both single at the time. C) Everyone did it. It was a game. Bailey joked for months they'd sleep with half the people in that server alone. Just because now you decide to take it seriously, doesn't mean it was serious then.

As for me bringing up with Moss and I's relationship:

I brought it up TWICE saying I wanted to talk more. It's there in writing. That's me, bringing up my concerns. Saying I want a change. Next time I'll be sure to email any group chat I'm in with the issues I'm having with my current partner.

Also I shouldn't have had to apologize for my mental health. If Moss had ever once brought up their concerns to me I would've told them. I'm a student, among many things. They should know it gets tough. I'm allowed to struggle. I'm allowed to have problems. It can't always just be one sided. They would've known I was struggling if they asked or even once told me they were worried about me.

Also, next time you use screenshots, fucking cross out the private details of someone's life. No matter how much you hate someone, it's fucking disrespectful as hell to air out someone's trauma, regardless of anything. It's fucking crude, tasteless and cruel and unusually punishment. Do fucking better.

We said we were adults with how we were acting because we didn't send Cloud to fucking fight our battles for us.

We didn't flaunt our relationship. We didn't lie. We gave you the facts as we knew them which you ignored. You're trying to take the high road because what? You didn't actively say anything? You just happened to mention hating the creator of Sage? There is such a thing called subtext. I happened to say it out loud first and you used that as a diving board to call me the bad guy.

Speaking of Sage, I don't know if you recall from how poorly you have mischaracterized my rendition of him, but let me remind you. I'm a fucking Yandere blog. The relationships I portray with my writing? Not meant to be healthy. That's the fucking roots of Yandere. If you would've noticed how I wrote him with Aaliyah, he's abrasive. There's a crazy difference between the two. Imagine that. Additionally, making a black character doesn't make me racists, especially for a culture in a fantasy game. I have white characters too, does that make me xenophobic? I have skinny characters, does that make me fat-phobic? I have plus sized characters, does that mean I shame skinny people? No. It means I have diversity in my characters and don't draw the same shit over and over again.

Let me make this one fucking thing clear as well.

I was not jealous over Sketch. I was hesitant to let a minor onto an adult's only server because of two prior incidents involving minors. When I brought up my concerns, I was brushed off, only to then find out that Moss had made a server with only themself, Bailey and Sketch. Which I was only told about after we had broken up by the way. I was hesitant because Moss and Sketch were on call all hours of the day, alone, and while we could've joined, we all had other commitments (work, school, family, etc.).

So my greatest fucking apologies that I didn't like the idea of an adult having hours upon hours of alone time with a minor. I'm so fucking sorry I don't like the idea of a partner spending so much time in a group chat I didn't even fucking know of. How fucking dare I ever have an issue with having a minor in a chat full of adults despite agreeing that we wouldn't let that happen again.

How fucking dare I.

Since you guys wouldn't know a happy relationship if it bit you in the ass, people share each other on social media. Believe it or not, you aren't the only friends I've made from having an LU blog. I like sharing my life. If you don't like it stop using your freaky ass stalker blogs and stop watching. Stop using subtext about me. Stop bringing up anything regarding myself, Bailey, Sage, any of that. You have not let it go. Stop pretending you have.

Either leave me and Bailey the fuck alone or use said stalker blog to DM me your fucking yourself.

Thank you for the well wishes though, try not to let anymore minors slip through the cracks <3

P.S. If you could read dates you'd notice that unlike some people, I'm not on the internet 24/7! I hadn't gotten around to the pfp change, but it's fixed. And you know what? You were right! That was disrespectful and I apologize. /srs

Now, kick rocks and keep my fucking name out of your fucking mouths.

[keep-the-wolves-close]

Steady Heart

Chapter 13: The Devil Never Sleeps

* Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

* Rating: M? (Still figuring out the rating system) (might eventually be M anyhow)

* Warnings: language, serious injury, feelings of being stalked

* Word count: 3,260ish

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot and @deanscroissant for being sounding boards for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, being cheerleaders, and allowing me to screech at them about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far without y'all

Author's note: I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well!

Stella and Rip galloped up to the barn. They were running on a time clock and it was almost out. The fish and wildlife officer was almost done setting up Snoopy. ‘Fair choice,’ Stella assessed. She knew Snoopy well. He was as solid as a rock for the most part. Lee, Kayce, and she had made sure of it. She quickly got the idea the officer wasn’t fond of having to be here.

“You the ones taking me to see the bear?”

They both nodded, but Stella decided to let Rip do the talking. “Yes ma’am.”

The officer turned around to look at them. “Officer Skyles, not ma’am.”

“Alright.” Rip mumbled. Stella clenched her jaw and had to use every ounce of strength she possessed to hold back the eye roll at the lady officer’s attitude.

“How fars the ride?”

“Mm, it’s a few hours.” Rip answered shortly.

“You Mr. Wheeler and Miss Daniels? The ones who shot the bear?”

“Yes ma’am— Officer Skyles. I’m the one that shot it, yeah.” Rip admitted.

“Is this the rifle?”

“Yes.”

Officer Skyles took the rifle from its saddle holster and locked it up in her truck. Rip huffed and rolled his eyes. Stella frowned from her saddle. The officer walked back to the gelding she was borrowing and climbed up into her seat. Stella observed that she sat well, but you could tell the woman was uncomfortable.

‘For fish and wildlife you’d think she would be more comfortable on a horse.’ Stella thought. “So are we headed out?” She asked.

The officer’s eyes lit up. “Oh so she speaks?”

“Sometimes.” Stella replied curtly. Rip eyed her, giving her a silent warning. The last thing they needed was Stella popping off. She glanced at him and hoped he picked up on that there wasn’t anything to worry about. She was practicing her best impression of him. Stoic, monosyllabic, not giving much to go on.

“Yeah let’s get this show on the road.” The officer cut through Stella’s internal monologue.

Having a quiet ride with other people seemed to be the running theme of a joke that Stella felt like she was the butt end of. She ignored the voice in her head trying to weave its negativity through her thoughts. Her head teetered back and forth in a pattern, keeping an eye out of anything troublesome. Rip did the same, but slower.

Officer Skyles attempted to make small talk. “Heard a lot of rumors about you Mr. Wheeler. All of them bad. Even a few about you Miss Daniels.”

Rip hummed in response. “Well most are probably true.”

“I’m not sure what you heard about me, but depending on who it’s in connection with, it’s likely true.” Stella acknowledged.

Officer Skyles looked at Rip. “I sure hope not. For your sake.” She glanced back at Stella. “Also for yours.” Stella made a face behind the woman’s back. “Hey, both of you ride in front of me please.”

Stella started to come around the left side of the officer. She didn’t feel like arguing. She’d had enough of that the last few days. Rip didn’t move from where he was positioned. He pointed at the Snoopy’s hind end. Stella followed his hand and saw there was a horse fly.

Rip mentioned it to Officer Skyles. “He’s got a horse fly on his rump there.”

“I don’t see a horse fly.” The officer scoffed.

“Well I can see it from here. It’s massive.” Stella offered.

“You want me to swat it before your horse—” Rip tried.

“Don’t fuckin’ touch my horse, do you understand me?” Skyles interrupted.

“Just let him get it, my god.” Stella said exasperated.

“Listen if that fly bites his ass—” Rip couldn’t finish his sentence. The officer’s horse neighed loudly at the intrusion of the fly bite and started crow hopping. It turned into a rear and he took off. “Nobody ever fuckin’ listens to me,” Rip said in disbelief and kicked his horse into gear.

Stella rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe this is fuckin’ happening.” She followed at a trot to the top of the hill in between the trees. They watched as Skyles bounced and lost her balance on the saddle. She grabbed the horn of her saddle and tried to hold on for dear life. The pair saw the officer’s reins slip.

Rip yelled to her. “You lost your reins!”

“Jump!” Stella tried to offer some help.

Skyles disappeared around a group of trees and not long after they heard her scream. Without a second guess, they flew off to find her. When they came around the trees, Stella’s eyes widened and felt the color drown from her face. The woman was laying on the ground with a fence post coming through her midsection, Snoopy stuck in barbed wire on the ground.

Getting closer, Stella slid off Abigail and Rip off of Dude. Rip went up to the officer and Stella went to Snoopy who was tangled. She could hear the conversation in the background.

“Oh my god I’m gonna die.”

“No you ain’t gonna die. Cause if you die, they’re gonna think we did this too.” He went to his saddle to get the walkie to call for Viggo. “Viggo, I need the chopper at pasture 23 right fuckin’ now.” He held his hand out to Skyles. “Give me your gun.”

Hearing those words, Stella knew Rip was going to try and put down the gelding. “No Rip, wait! I’ll get him out!” Her breathing picked up as she worked faster, cutting a few of her fingers and her hands in the process. “Fuck!”

“Both of you listen to me, when that horse catches his breath, it’s gonna go berserk against those wires and it’s gonna drag her ass to death. Now gimme the gun.”

“You do not get my gun.” Skyles put the line in the sand. Stella was starting to come around to her.

Rip growled and went to get his wire cutters. “All this time I wasted cuttin’ this horse loose, I could be saving you.”

Stella snatched the cutters from him. “I’ll do it damn it.” She set to work. She kneeled down slowly by the Snoopy’s head and cut a few wires and Rip tried to get him up gently. Once the horse was up, Stella dropped back on her heels to sit on them and catch her breath and fix her glasses. Rip tried to wave all three of the horses away knowing they would find their way back to the ranch. Abigail whinnied and reared back at Rip not wanting to follow his direction. She trotted just outside of his reach so he couldn’t grab her.

Stella growled. Abigail was already agitated and seeing Rip try to wave her away made her want to hit him with a log. A wave of satisfaction washed over her that Abigail didn’t leave. “Take the fuckin’ cutters.” Stella shoved them at the foreman not entirely sure what he was about to do. “I’ll take Abigail and go back to the house when the helicopter gets here. I’ll tell John where you’re going and what happened. That way no one, including my brother, thinks we’re dead.”

He nodded and bent down behind the officer and cut the few pieces of barbed wire that were tangled around her. She moaned at the movement caused by cutting it.

In a gentle voice he said to the officer, “you’re all right. Okay.” He fixed his hat and came around the front of Skyles. “Okay now, if I pull this post from out of you it’s gonna kill you. So I’m gonna lift you from the ground, alright. Put your arms around me. Stella, come get her other side.”

Stella numbly stood and made sure Abigail would stay. She went to the opposite side of Skyles and braced herself for what was coming.

“We should, we should call somebody.”

“There is nobody to call. Alright? Now listen. You’ve got no reason to trust me. To trust us. But you have to.” Skyles nodded, but to Stella it looked like she was shivering. “Now please, put your arms around me and her.”

The next few minutes of trying to pull the post and the officer out of the ground were agonizing. Stella swore she would hear Skyles’ screams of pain for the next month.

They got her up and supported between the both of them. Stella saw something long enough for the injured officer to sit on. There was enough room next to her and she offered that spot to Rip. Abigail trailed along behind her girl.

Rip wrapped his arm around her back and tried to direct Stella to sit. She unwound his arm, and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m fine. You sit. Keep an eye on her.” Rip squeezed her arm back and let go, taking a seat next to Skyles.

It was quiet for a few moments with the exception of the officer’s labored breathing. Considering she had a fence post sticking out of her abdomen, Stella thought she was doing pretty well.

Stella sat on the damp ground and stared blankly into the surrounding woods. She was trying to figure out where in life she’d gone wrong to end up in these weird and awful situations. She leaned an elbow on her knee and rested her chin in her hand. ‘Well the company you keep doesn’t help.’ Her eyes rolled at her thought. Yes, the Duttons appeared to be more trouble than she had thought at 14 years old, but that didn’t change anything now. Officer Skyles speaking to Rip broke her out of her head.

“I’m sorry I lost the horses.” Skyles apologized.

“Don’t worry. Horses always come home.” Rip offered some consolation.

Stella also lended support. “I’m sure they’re there now. Dude probably led the charge home.”

“I’m sure there’s a lesson in here somewhere.”

“Well, you figure it out? You let me know.” Rip said. Skyles moaned in pain. Rip looked concerned. “Don’t be dying on me now.”

“I’m not getting killed by a fuckin’ fence post. My ego won’t allow it.”

Rip and Stella laughed. In the distance Stella could hear the chopper getting closer. She clicked for Abigail and held a hand out for her. The large mare chuffed back at her and walked a few steps over to her girl. Stella grabbed her reins and stood. She petted the mare’s thick neck. Abigail’s eyes were still tinged with a wildness, but Stella wasn’t worried.

“Stella!” Rip yelled over the sound of the large machine getting closer. He jogged over to her. “You get back to the ranch safe without any trouble, you hear me? Tell John I’ll call him when I get to the hospital with her.”

“Okay!” The chopper was close to landing so she had to shout over the noise. She hitched Abigail to a nearby tree, making sure her mode of transportation wouldn’t leave her high and dry with all the noise. “I’ll help you get her to the helicopter!” The pair made their way to the injured officer. Stella on one side and Rip on the other.

“Listen, when the pain gets really bad,” Rip directed Skyles and squeezed her hand, “I want you to try and break it.”

“Okay.” She replied weakly.

“Alright. Come on Stella, let’s get her outta here.” They placed the officer’s arms around their shoulders and helped hoist her up.

After getting her seated as comfortably as they could, Stella grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Alright Officer Skyles. You make it through this, ya hear me? Ain’t no fence posts gonna be taking you out today.”

“Not a chance in hell.” She grinned.

“I’ll check in with y’all later on.” Stella hopped out of the chopper.

Rip went to climb in and swap places with her but stopped short and grabbed Stella by the arm. He brought her into a quick hug, handing her the walkie. “Viggo is channel 6. The bunkhouse is channel 3. Whoever has the bunkhouse walkie will answer. Don’t be afraid to use it.” That was his subtle way of saying they didn’t need to make an extra trip to the hospital today.

“Y’all be safe. Let me know when you get there.” Stella requested as she clipped the walkie on her belt. He nodded and crawled into the helicopter motioning to Viggo to take off.

Stella ducked and hurried over to Abigail. The large craft took off and went in the direction of the hospital. As it made its journey out of the clearing, the decibel level went back to normal and Stella could think straight again. ‘Ride home, tell John, get the horses up.’ She repeated this mantra over and over, trying to focus on the task at hand and not the fact that she was a good hour and a half away from the ranch. Trying to forget that she didn’t have a rifle or a pistol and only had a little hunting knife on her. That it was just her and the wilderness. She’d gone out before by herself plenty of times, but not this far away from the ranch without someone else. They always used the buddy system when it was this far out from home.

She gave Abigail a few pets, and got into one of her saddle bags. Her hands were cut up from that barbed wire. She always kept a small first aid kit, but she didn’t think she had bandaids. At the very least she probably had medical tape, which would do in a pinch to keep her from bleeding all over the place.

Finding the small roll of tape, and the small bottle of alcohol she kept, she set out to clean her hands. With the sting of the alcohol she clenched her teeth and hissed, “fuck,” as the fiery liquid dripped off of her hands. She gave both hands a good shake letting the alcohol evaporate. Reaching into her bag, she grabbed the tape. She wrapped small pieces around a few of her fingers on her right hand, and around her palm on her left. The cut on her left hand was in the center of her hand, so wrapping a few strands of tape around her whole hand would have to suffice.

She put the tape and alcohol back and untied Abigail, giving her a few more pats on her shoulder. “Alright girl. It’s just you, me, and the way home. We got this.” Stepping up into her saddle she turned the large mare around toward the top of the hill where they came from before this mess had started. She squeezed her heels gently and Abigail began to trot off.

45 minutes into the trip Abigail came to a stop. Stella frowned. They were still halfway out from the ranch. Too far for Stella to be comfortable with something happening. She moved her hips forward, directing her to keep on. Abigail snorted loudly and pawed at the ground a few times and refused to budge. The air got still. The only noise to be heard was Abigail breathing and her saddle creaking with the small movements. Stella didn’t want to move. Even her breathing seemed too loud in the dead silence that took over the woods. Her lips parted and her breaths came out in shallow puffs as she listened to the forest.

Her eyes widened and she dared to look around. Everything appeared normal. Trees upon trees on the one side closest to the fence, and high grass on the other side. There were no obvious signs of an animal nearby that she could see at first glance. The large mare swatted her tail aggressively like flies were on her back, hitting Stella every so often, and stomped a few times. She stretched her neck high, almost to the point of straining. Stella rubbed the mare’s neck. “C’mon babe, we’re almost home. We keep moving, we get away from whatever you’re not a fan of.” Stella tried to bargain with the roan.

Abigail breathed deeply, letting out a loud snort. Stella pushed the mare into continuing forward, ignoring her “mare ears”. “The quicker we get home, the sooner this is over with.” She encouraged her. Snapping twigs sounded from the woods. “Let’s pick up the pace baby.” She didn’t want to stick around to find out if it was just the wind or something stalking them.

The hair on the back of her neck was already standing on end. She had pushed her luck far enough. It was starting to get dark. She didn’t want to get caught in the pitch black especially if something was watching her. She had a lantern attached to her saddle, but that only did so much. Her little knife didn’t offer her much solace either. Abigail legged on.

20 minutes later Abigail abruptly stopped again. Stella groaned at her. The groan went ignored as Abigail listened intently to a sound off in the trees. Stella listened closely and thought she heard chirping off in the brush. She watched the roan closely. “You heard that too?” She asked her. Stella examined the brush to her left and there were several spots that could be used as a den. “Sounds like mountain lion cubs.” Abigail shuffled, letting out a snort. “Well I ain’t getting off to go find out.” She clucked at Abigail a few times. “Let’s go before whoever those babies belong to, comes home and is pissed.”

Abigail didn’t need to be told twice and picked up into a long trot. Every so often she would jump at a sound on their left. “Goodness girl, just keep going. It’s gonna be fine.” Stella rolled her eyes at herself. ‘Yeah, fine until you get eaten.’ Stella couldn’t be certain the mother cougar was following them, but with the way Abigail was spooking… Stella would be hard pressed to not believe they were being stalked by something. She touched the walkie on her belt and could hear Rip’s words to use it. “Fuck it.”

Stella changed the walkie to channel 3. She always felt dumb using the walkie. It was the same feeling that leaving a voicemail gave her. It was always so awkward. She squeezed the button. “Uh, bunkhouse?” It crackled as she let the button go.

The object that was her lifeline sprung to life in her hand. •Stella oh my god, are you okay?• It was her brother.

“Yeah I’m good. But I think there’s a slight chance that I won’t be for long. By any chance, you still got BJ tacked up?”

•What do you mean?•

“The officer took Rip’s rifle before we came out here, and I only have my knife. I’m pretty sure I stumbled across a cougar’s babies and she’s stalking us.”

•Oh fuck how far out are you? We’re coming right now!•

Stella looked around and identified what pasture she was in. Since she didn’t help the wranglers every day, she didn’t know the fields as well as they did. Yes, she ran around these parts with Kayce all the time when they were kids, but she never paid attention to the exact layout. Kayce was the one who led them. She was just along for the ride. “Uh I think I’m somewhere past the house side of pasture 11.”

•That’s roughly 25 minutes out. I’ll meet you in the middle, just don’t stop moving.•

“Got it.” Stella clipped the walkie on her belt the best she could with Abigail’s movement. She thought it would be best to keep her at a steady gait versus taking off. If they were being stalked she didn’t want to kick in the prey drive of whatever it was. “Come on girl, Ryan’ll be here fast. Everything is fine.”

[tiiyapoyoo]

Follow up question!! Do u have an all time fav quote from wsms!

that’s a very hard question omg… and from WSMS too ?? oh god. i don’t think i can do JUST quotes, much less ONE all time favorite. but what i can do is list off my favorite chapters…? or well, my favorite block of quotes from those chapters.

the entirety of chapter nine and everything i quoted from there. i absolutely ADORED that chapter. i loved seeing dallas protecting ponyboy and pony letting himself be vulnerable around dally. it was perfect.

chapter eleven was so bittersweet and the first WSMS chapter to actually get me to tear up and cry. reading from pony’s perspective is always my favorite. legends_never_die gave him such a complex character and with all these conflicting (not to mention angsty) thoughts… it’s everything to me.

i couldn’t stop smiling to myself while reading through chapter sixteen omg. seeing dallas’s character changing and evolving is so fun. the way he was putting in the effort to make pony comfortable despite their circumstances (ahem… living at buck merrill’s..) was so sweet, not to mention going horse riding together. giggling and kicking my feet.

of course chapter seventeen was an iconic moment. that was when i hit the comment character limit for the first time so i’m obviously very proud of it. plus the closet part and the (technically implied but who cares it’s practically canon) “i love you” said by dallas was written so well. then we got purly which was really nice. i’m loving the purly in this fic

i will always love chapter twenty-two for including a DETAILED nyc flashback. like omg yay !!! the way dally said he wouldn’t leave pony (then did) was heartbreaking in the best way possible. then the other half of the chapter was pb&j content which was nice. i love those little moments where pony softens up around johnny and has his back, even if he still feels conflicted about him. plus indirect purly kiss was cute.

i just loved pulling quotes from these chapters and especially since there was SO MUCH CONTENT i loved !!! again, thanks for the ask 🫶

[angelyuji]

a gift from the horse's mouth

cw // some spoilers from Harley Quinn and the Joker: Sound Mind, some dialouge from episode 4, joker is a creep, nothing too crazy

hehee im on my 18th relisten of my favorite podcast show ever. this is a niche interest in the harley quinn fandom but i just love love love this version of harley so much (if people like this, i might write more idk)

"come on, doc. one ride." joker's hand goes around your waist. he starts to the pull you to the carousel, gesturing to harleen to follow him. you let him drag you onto the ride, not wanting to ruin things for harleen.

"money, mr. j. i need the money." her voice was firm, but her eyes followed you, aware of your predicament.

"yes, yes, money, shmoney. what am i, chopped liver?" joker mumbles. he moves to pick you up, but you step back.

"what're you doing?" you try to put some distance between yourself and the clown.

"we're taking a ride, (y/n). isn't that obivious?" he tilts his head. he notices your hesitation and steps closer, "or.... if you want, we can do something else... you know what they say," he smirks, "save a horse, ride a cowboy."

you roll your eyes, "nevermind, just help me onto a horse." he picks you up by the waist to place you onto a horse. he kisses the back of your hand before hopping onto the same horse, pressing himself against your back. you look over to see harleen, watching the two of you interact.

"doctor quinzellllll, get on! i robbed a bank for you, y'know? godd, the things i do for love... just one ride." he grins and leans his chin on your shoulder. he murmurs into your ear, "you're sooo nice and warm," his arms wrap around your waist, "i can see why our harleen loves you so much."

"she's not "ours" and she's not some thing to own, joker." you try to move away from his chest, but joker just laughs at your weak attempt and pulls you closer to him.

"come on, baby, lighten up. i'm just saying, i'm okay with being shared between the two of you." he presses a kiss to your shoulder and you flinch.

"don't touch them, joker." harleen manages to get onto the moving ride, annoyance clearly written on her face.

"uh oh, nurse (y/n), i think the doctor is jealous." he giggles as harleen gets onto the black horse next to the two of you. you hear her huff, getting onto the horse. “good girl.” he smiles, joyfully. joker starts to go on about his mother.

harleen interrupts, "what do you want, joker? what do you want from us?" she speaks firmly, not interested in his talk. you feel his arms get tighter around you in frustration before relaxing back.

"it's not about what i want! it's about sharing a moment, all three of us! getting..." he leans in close to whisper into your ear, "real." shivers go down your spine and you elbow him in retaliation. he laughs, loud. "easy there, tiger. i'm very fragile." he lets go of you to mockingly rub where you hit him. he wraps his arms around you again, pulling you closer onto his lap.

"joker." her rage is thinly concealed and she gets off the horse. "this!" she claps, "has been really great." she lets out a breath, gesturing to you to come to her. "but we've got to get back. my father-" you feel his grip loosen and you scramble off to harleen's side.

"godddd," joker groans, "snoreee. what about us?" joker practically whines, reaching out to the two of you dramatically. "when's our next hang session? when are we gonna get that threesome scheduled?" he pretends to flip through a notebook and looks to you for a laugh.

you roll your eyes and harleen heisitates, you speak for her, "harleen needs to be with her father right now, joker." she nods.

"ahhh, you two want to take it sloww. a couple dates, walks in the parks, i see i see." he nods, "sooo no threesome... at least not yet." he smirks.

"i just need to be with my dad so, if i could just get that money..." harleen tries to placate the jester.

"i see how it is. i'm just a dollar sign to you, huh?" the both of you try to deny it, "no no! i give you the money and bam! you're gone, abandoning me!" he gets off the horse, dramaticaly leaning on the pole

"no, no! harleen and i, we are so grateful, mister j!" you force a smile, reaching to touch his hand. he grabs it and pulls you into a crushing hug. you let out a muffled yelp in surprise.

harleen pauses for a second before contining, "how about this, give me your name and number and i promise- we promise to call you. after my dad's surgery, i'll be fully present and we'll get together a-and we'll have all the time in the world." you could hear the quiet desperation in her voice as you, and the money, were held hostage by the clown.

he hums, rubbing your back, and lets go, "it's a deal. here." he hands the both of you a card from his back pocket. 'dirk mcdongle's pleasure palace' you don't ask for an explaination, eager to get out. harleen asks for the money once more and joker pats himself down. "i don't have it! you do!" he laughs, "or at least... your horse does." he starts to ramble on about some phrase, but you watch as harleen practically scrambles to grab the bag of money from the horse's mouth. she practically collapses from relief and you hold her by the waist.

"we should get going." you interrupt his insane ramble and he smiles, reaching out a hand. you force yourself to hold your hand. he presses a small kiss on the back and straightens it to bite your finger lightly. you snatch it back and help harleen walk out.

"don't forget! dirk dongle's! we put the ass! in pal-ass!" you could hear his cackle ringing in your ear even as the two of you drive away.