#can not trust this man to be alone
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POV Stone in the sonic 4 movie if robotnik comes back
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#sonic movie 3#agent stone#dr robotnik#sonic 3 spoilers#sonic the hedgehog#eggman#stobotnik#ivo robotnik#can not trust this man to be alone#keeps dying mg#shadow the hedgehog
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”
“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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utterly UTTERLY fascinated by Nathalie in the london special (and I say this as someone who wasn’t all that compelled by her before)
I’ve changed, she says - and proves it. When both the miraculouses she’s been looking for are right in front of her, she doesn’t take them. Doesn’t even try to. As though it doesn’t occur to her.
I’m not a mother, she says - but when she sees a child in pain, her first instinct is to hug them.
I’ll go to jail, she says - once again, arguably, taking the easy way out. That way, she doesn’t have to keep looking in Adrien’s eyes every day. She can feel her own guilt in peace, with no one else’s to mingle in with it.
Adrien will be okay because he has you, she says - to a child with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Nathalie doesn’t even try to lessen that burden; instead, she makes it all the more heavier.
I’m here to kill Gabriel, she says - and then what?
#miraculous ladybug#ml london special#ml london spoilers#nathalie sancoeur#literally I was like wait…did she know that Marinette was ladybug??#why did she have no reaction#why does she not care that marinette just saw a man die#does she just assume marinette must surely hate Gabriel as much as Nathalie herself does?#when will she realize that Gabriel saved her with the wish#and marinette too!!!#she just got betrayed by an adult#we can solve this together - she says to Gabriel but he paralyzes her and still does it alone#help me - she says to nathalie who abandons her immediately#how does that manifest#if you can’t trust the adults in your life what’s left for you?#interesting#nem gets meta
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I've spent a couple of years lurking on Tumblr in the Arknights tag, and like wow
this story's like *really earnest* and really loves humanity, loves *people*, doesn't it
it's going to be one of those stories that rewrite your brain, change your brain chemistry, stuff like that? Like, I'm going to get into this and I will never be able to leave.
Arknights *really is that good?*
sorry that I'm not making much sense rn, I just had a dream about Arknights today and when I woke up I was like "oh fuck, I think I get why so many people love this thing's story now" lol
*sniffles, wipes a single tear from my eye* i've never been prouder of an anon in my inbox
#the kids are alright. the kids are Understanding#ask#arknights#anon if you haven't read all the way through yet trust me#it only gets better#i love this silly furry gacha game to bits for very good reason. can confirm beyond a shadow of a doubt#lingering echoes alone irreparably changed my brain chemistry#and that was just one (at the time of its original release) one-off event#that came out after i'd already been playing for years#when ak is good man. when ak is Good.
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"thank you for everything, ro. i wish we got to work together."
"oh same, but y'know, some things just don't work out."
i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics i hate drastics
#veni.txt#i managed to Not cry over the betrayal#but ro giving up and choosing to be alone in the End got to me man#esp bc zam was so miserable to not have her by their side as the world ends#he cared abt her so much bro 😭#she was so content to just...give up.#she realized she wasnt wanted. accepted it. said her piece. and left.#i dont know if she ever came back to s4 after that. maybe ill see when i keep watching when it isnt almost 4 am#but like. she is such an interesting character#she isnt someone who is particularly confident or assertive and yet she also refuses to allow herself to be unwanted#like if she doesnt feel like she is wanted she just leaves#i actually wanna eat drywall bro im miserable#im shaking ro very aggressively#i hate her so bad#“you guys dont trust me and thats okay.”#can she stop. can she not. watching this vod has Changed me#it puts her whole “i wasnt wanted” to ash during the s5 finale into an entire new perspective#honestly? it puts her s5 betrayal into a new perspective#it has added so much necessary context to her character for me#from the final attempt at ending the server on her own terms to her resigning herself when she realized it wasnt possible#i need to squeeze ro until she pops
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#i gotta go get my T bloodwork done tomorrow#which is fine but like#last time i was there the nurse was REALLY weird and they were pretty annoyed with me#because i hadn't come in for a long time#because life shit happened including breaking my ankle#and it's the same situation now but like so much fucking worse#and i don't want them to be assholes to me about it or about how i kind of miss shots quite a bit#like that's A Thing#it's a problem for me#but i don't deserve AT ALL to get scolded for it or treated like I'm doing something wrong#ugh i just have a chip on my shoulder#i know it has the potential to go fine and i am bringing backup with me#but EVERYTHING has gone wrong lately!#and if this goes wrong there is every chance it'll drive me to getting the stuff online and not getting bloodwork AT ALL#and I want to tell them that but I feel like they'd just be shitty about it because ultimately they may be an inclusive clinic#but they are still medical professionals and gatekeepers at heart and you can't trust medpros and gatekeepers further than you can spit#idk man I'm an adult just leave me alone to do my thing and accept that I will be in once a year for sure but no promises on more than that#i'm tired in advance#idk i just got the feeling last time that they were accusing me of getting my T illicitly and it's like bitch im not but even if i was#aren't you supposed to be a place people can be honest about their situations? am i not here jumping through your hoops to do it legally?#im doing what you wanted but the thing is I DON'T HAVE TO and if you keep acting weird im going to have to STOP#because i don't have energy to deal with my disintegrating life AND gatekeeping judgy bullshit#do cis men have to dance like this?
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Oh, the hilarious thought that Ellen and Jo both had the hots for Cas.
(((It tickles me ever since I thought it.)))
As we start the scene in 5x10, Ellen is playing music, a Spanish song, Oye Como Va by Santana.
It's a party!
(Rrr, flavor!) ¡Rrr, sabor! (Hey how it goes) Oye cómo va (my rhythm) Mi ritmo
They're playing a well-known party game, sure. They're bartenders at a roadhouse, so this is an everyday thing for them, maybe, but oh oh oh.
The interest.
Ellen is maybe like, "We'll do shots and see how drunk he gets. Who knows? Maybe it'll make him handsy."
ELLEN: All right, Big Boy. Let's go.
Now, it's true. Ellen is flirty and, like many of the prickly, defensive characters, deals professionally with innuendo.
But something tells me this isn't a game Ellen would play with Dean or Sam.
But a guy she wants to <OMITTED>? Ahem. Well. Yeah.
And Cas mimics Ellen, holding his pinky out, upending the glasses, and holding intense, challenging eye contact.
And Ellen...
This is the face of "Holy crap." But if you squint, it can also be read as "Wow." Or even "Hubba, hubba."
Yeah. No kiddin,' Cas.
So is Ellen, right in the <OMITTED>.
///
And Hell. Maybe Jo feels something, too. That's a slow, spreading, breathless-ey sort of smile that reminds me a little bit of Mick Davies.
"Whooooa."
///
ANYHOO.
The music (Santana) continues in the background while Dean and Sam talk strategy, and it's clear the music is coming FROM the kitchen, from Ellen's and Cas's little impromptu party.
We hear laughter, and Dean looks up at the sound. And yes, Jo looks scrumptious, but there's also... everyone's fawning over friggin' Cas? He's not even trying!
Cas isn't cool!
Right?
In the background, snippets of dialogue come through>>> ELLEN: "Damn, he can drink." JO: "Haha, Mom, but you need to stop." ELLEN: "Drink up!" JO: "I'm gonna get another beer."
///
Dean shoots his shot so so awkwardly that it's endearing.
(((Watch this, Cas. I'm the cool one. Women fall all over me, too.)))
///
Heehee. I love him.
///
And after all that, it book-ends with Cas giving the last-night on earth speech, but in a depressing, earnest, way.
(((Dean voice: Well, Jo. Not that anyone's asking,but it would probably-definitely work on me. Wish it'd work on one of you, though.)))
///
BONUS: The next day, Jo immediately starts pigtail-pulling Cas.
*fiddles with her hair, dons a slight smirk*
*smiley smile* Then, teasing: "Ever heard of a door handle?"
When she sees that Cas has gone into *SERIOUS MODE* she's rattled. She looks to her mom pleadingly, because...
If someone like CAS is unsettled, maybe they should be scared, too.
#what if ellen wanted to <BLEEP> cas actually#the idea hasn't left me alone since i thought it and now i'm laughing so much#like ellen has feelings for bobby#jo has feelings for dean#but some implications from jo's side materials are that she hero-worshipped cool guys like gordon#she's definitely intrigued by cas#oh no my ellen wants to fuck cas meta turned sad#jo harvelle#ellen harvelle#dean: hey you need to learn you to cloudy-seed and be cool#cas is on earth for five seconds: gets symbolized as a married man with kid#cas: i am not someone you should put your trust in kelly#i am not father material#ellen: ok sure but you can ride in my car <3#and you can ride (omitted)
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ekky saying "i didnt know they were coming" in concerns to practise being open either suggest staff do not tell players when it happens (not fucking likely) or ekky just does not pay attention to anything at all which makes this paul quote
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even funnier in retrospect and not a "pauls just joking around you know how he is" moment as he tends to do no this man just DOES NOT LISTEN???
#ekky resident air head#things go through one ear and out the other#he does not go on social media at all i know this so his only reliable source of information for these things IS QUITE LITERALLY THE SOURCE#AND HE STILL DOESNT KNOW??????#id like to have what shes having please#earn your A#babe we do not pay you the big bucks to think about anything other than hockey and it shows#shes here to be pretty okay leave her alone shes our show dog with a good pedigree we prance around <3#i love the ongoing saga that is paul says an absurd thing about someone. that someone goes oh hes just joking around.#and then a few weeks later we learn its actually the truth.#best example of this is paul going you know ruutu (assistant coach) is harder on the finns than anybody else.#then ruutu going no pauls just embellishing you know how he is 😄😄 and then you talk to the finns#and theyre like well... the only reason hes not “harder” on anyone else is because he knows finnish better#(so he can express himself more in that language which is why he comes off as very polite in english)#and im like paul you son of a bitch youve done it again you were right old man#trust paul until you cant trust paul you get me?#anyways ekky... just here to be pretty indeed...
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I need to know if anyone else understands the feeling of wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone in ways that Sound very romantic but you aren't into them like that. Fantasizing about living with them. Cooking dinner together every night and watching movies, laying together in silence just because one of you is lonely and wanted comfort. If you have to leave the house before they wake up, you'll make yourself breakfast and leave a plate for them in the fridge. When one of you is sick, the other makes soup and brings them their medicine whenever they need it. Getting home late knowing there will be a warm meal waiting for you, and doing the same for them. But you're not attracted to them, and you know you never will be, but you still want that kind of life with them
#I've felt this way towards a lot of people#And some of it was just like#The classic children on the internet planning how they're gonna move in together when they're older#And it fizzles out once you grow up and live your own lives#But man I've been thinking about it so much lately#I think it's always stemmed from like. Wanting a place where I feel free and safe 100% of the time#Which isnt to say I'm not safe in my current home because I am /gen#But i want a place where I don't have to hide my snacks because someone will eat them without asking and won't apologize#I want a place where I know nobody's gonna make a comment about how much i eat#Or how I look or how I dress#I want somewhere where I can have space to myself but also not fully be alone#And I don't have a partner and I don't know if I'll have one for a long time#So these feelings just end up falling on my closest friends who I trust and would feel completely safe with#Me and my trio used to joke that if we ever move in together we're making a mashed potato volcano with dinosaur nuggets for dinner on the#first night#Id still take them up on that offer#None of this is happening for a long time cause I'm also just nowhere near ready to move out#There's a lot here I would have to leave behind#But man even if it's just for a year. I want that joy of sharing a space with someone i love and trust with my life#peg speaks
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THEY DEVASTATINGLY WALLOPED ME FOR THESE BRIEF FEW SECONDS
#leigh's magneto hours#THERE'S SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE. ESPECIALLY THE ALMOST TOUCHING FOREHEADS BIT.#magneto's 'my path is too littered with error'#;WWWWWWW;#and rogue's 'you have to earn people's trust'#LIKE!!!!! AND THEN HE DIRECTLY GOES FOR THE 'ooooo i feared you'd do your best to avoid being alone with me.' WITH THE HAND GRAB!!!!#YOU FEARED???? YOU FEARED?!?! FEARED FOR WHAT. OLD MAN WHAT ARE YOU SAYING#AND THEN HE GOES TO TRY AND TAKE OFF THE GLOVE. AS IF WE DIDN'T JUST ADDRESS TRUST#dnvjdxbvjhdbvhdx. this man. i swear. you are giving me signals that you want to be more open and then YET YOU BRING UP OLD BAGGAGE#he's like 'oh i just got rejected. well now time to deflect.' LIKE AAAAAAAAA#this moment coupled with the moment at the end is making me crazy#sorry to my followers who never expected me to be into xmen???? im here now. im so ill with it.#i can probably assure there will be more rogneto on this blog here in the future. this is your warning#i just feel like ive been fucking SPOON FED oh my god. crossing my fingers we get more messy feelings between them.
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hazuki is a wild character (at least to me) in the sense that he was in literally only 2 scenes, one of which very short, and he feels so insanely important to the plot in a way where i desperately want to write about him but we have so very little info that i feel as though i am scraping up bread crumbs that are crushed into the earth for a semblance of something to work with
#zircon rambles#twewy#neo twewy#hazuki mikagi#aka i accidentally made him a big part of testplayer and i am suffering for it#the AMOUNT OF NOTES i have on this man#i literally fuckin#re-translated a couple parts of neo *myself* using Japanese i have not studied for *years*#having to rely on my poor listening skills and literally write down what i hear from the voice lines for one of them#Because i dont have the japanese script of the game#Just to try and understand this stupid bitch from every angle#Not that i dont trust the localization i just was like#'I gotta dig into the original too so i can see if that gives me better insight'#im like going insane send help#the way testplayer has 60 pages of canon cited notes alone... hazuki is like. 3 of those pages. At least. Maybe 5#the fic itself is over 90k words now#i have not worked this hard on a project in so long its kind of cathartic im ngl
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youtube
this soundtrack genuinely makes me so emotional like damn. the jack vs fiona scene at the end of ep 2 is already so perfect and then they had to go make this beautiful as hell ost with it too. those bastards
#yeah im gonna gush abt the borderlands ost again#it slaps so hard and i dont see many people talking abt it SOB#but this one especially got me by the balls#cause it really adds to the intensity of the decision of whether you should trust jack or fiona#like you can feel rhys' nerves and conflicting emotions through the soundtrack alone#cause even tho you yourself know jack is Bad and fiona is the objectively good option you also know that rhys has a different perspective#fiona is a pandoran con artist which should be reason enough to not trust her (dude is NOT immune to hyperion propaganda)#but shes also tough and survived for 29 whole years WHILE ALSO protecting her sister so she's gotta be doing something right#and even rhys could tell fiona is very genuine. plus they set out to find the vault together so he kinda has to trust her at some point#but then theres jack who hes idolized for so long and hes literally in his ear telling him not to trust fiona#but trusting jack means giving jack way too much access to his cybernetics and even tho hes a massive fanboy hes also aware of jacks nature#and on top of this hard decision theres also a time limit. like he had to make this choice on the spot#IM TELLING YOU MAN THAT SCENE IS CRAZY. I GET GOOSEBUMPS THINKING ABOUT IT#and no matter who you pick at the end youre always like 'well. this doesnt bode well'#because youve either essentially given jack access to your brain or youve pissed jack off and neither of those are good#rhys was in a lose-lose situation there#txt
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Cellbit who holds his shit together, pieces together the clues, and solves the issue while walking on a tightrope, where if he cannot correct for the mistakes made, the fallout would be catastrophic. He cannot fail to solve the case, he cannot fail to cure his friends, it isn’t an option in how desperate the situation has gotten.
He’s relied upon by everyone as the leader of the order, shoulders heavy with the burden. He is intense when he needs to be, gentle when a soft touch is required, and keeps his head when the situation is so intense the others are speechless.
He gets through Forevers stubbornness, reassures Pac in his sorrow and indecisiveness. It’s a fucked up scene and he handles it well because he has no other choice.
He doesn’t cry until it’s all over. Just for a second, when the moment is over, and he can take a breath of air. And even then he leads the rest of them through clean up. He makes sure Pac gets home, gets Forever to a proper place to rest, ensures the rest of the group is okay after what they just witnessed.
Then the moment he leaves the others, he finds another critical clue that he can’t just ignore or put to the back burner.
Another mystery, another crisis, another billion clues he’ll have to organize and follow up on and solve, because he’s the investigation guy, the leader of the order, and the island is counting on him. The kids are counting on him. He doesn’t get a chance to truly breathe. To fully sit down and let himself crumble, let someone, anyone, else be the strong foundation, because if he can’t solve this, who will?
Even with his family returning to him, it’s no wonder he feels so alone. Out of the frying pan and into the fire, I guess.
#I just. the moment he could take a breath and his voice started cracking. god#bad and Phil were instrumental in this ofc but there is no world they would have gotten any sort of cure without cellbit#he was key because he was relied on. bad and Phil and Pac and even forever played their parts (esp pac my fucking god) but#I dunno. everyone comes to him with the latest mystery and it’s what he’d prefer at the end of the day because he can trust in himself to#do his best. he trusts in his abilities as much as he naturally wants to know the unknown. but still#there’s definitely some part of his affinity with the entity of knowledge too. knowledge at a cost whatever he must pay#what’s a little self destruction and misery in the face of discovery? the satisfaction of a puzzle solved and saving the day?#he’s chosen the entity of knowledge as much as it’s chosen him. to know things is to be alone#i just. when the day comes where he can’t solve the problem and save the day. what then? what then?#and isn’t that a kick in the pants. please god everyone help him with this because he deserves something secure to fall back on#he’s just so. leader man cannot crumble because he cannot afford to. god give him a break please. 167 injured 82 dead#mcyt#qsmp#q!cellbit#Cellbit#qsmp meta#z speaks
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I'm still thinking about that scene in Victoriocity S3E7 where Fleet runs back towards the Beast so as to lure it into the path of the train...
Clara's exclamation of 'Teamwork, Fleet!' after Fleet says he's got a plan reflects her conviction that any plan that Fleet has will be a shared plan, something they do together.
This conviction is a kind of trust, and that trust is part of the reason Clara takes a moment to realise Fleet has headed back towards the Beast. She trusts that he's following behind her. She keeps talking to him, her words full of optimism.
When she realises Fleet isn't there, she immediately realises what that must mean he's done, and her voice sounds more small and scared than I think we've ever heard it before.
Fleet's attempt at self-sacrifice is a kind of betrayal of Clara's trust, but when he echoes her celebration of their teamwork in a more somber tone, I think it suggests that he understands the weight of that betrayal.
If Fleet's plan is that Clara won't realise he's gone until it's already too late, then he thinks "Teamwork, Clara" will be the last words he'll ever speak to her. In what he imagines will be their final conversation, Fleet affirms Clara's understanding of them as a team who work well together, even as he is making a choice that rejects the possibility of their teamwork in this scenario. It's a recognition of what their dynamic has meant. It's a goodbye and an apology, even if Clara doesn't understand it as such at first.
I don't think Fleet sounds scared as he initially faces down the train. When he shouts "Yeah, this way, you stupid machine! Come on then!", he sounds defiant and grimly determined.
In fact, I don't think he sounds afraid until Clara appears, until she might be at risk of being in the path of the Beast or the train as well. It's when he shouts "Clara, stay back for God's sake!" and "Please, get back!" that there's real fear and desperation in his voice. He can confront the idea of giving his own life, but not the idea that doing so might put Clara in danger.
Another thing about these lines is that the move from 'stay back' to 'get back' suggests that Clara didn't obey his first instruction but got closer to him (and therefore to the path of the Beast and the train) between those two lines.
Then Fleet gives what might be another attempt at his last words: "I'm sorry! I'm sorry." A repeated apology before an attempted self-sacrifice is an implicit acknowledgement of how much losing him would hurt Clara. He regrets causing her pain.
Even so, he's accepted that he is about to die and that it'd be worth it to destroy the Beast. But Clara very much hasn't accepted either those things. She's still trying to yell over the noise of the train; she's pulling off her ring to throw at him.
I think it's a good illustration of how Clara's optimism is a kind of strength. She always believes that they can "make a new plan" and that it'll be one in which no one has to die. I think Archibald Fleet needs someone like that, someone who'll tell him to drop to the ground when his death advances from both sides, someone who - even in a dark tunnel with an murderous metal monster and a speeding train - won't stop shouting that there's hope.
#Victoriocity#victoriocity spoilers#clara entwhistle#archibald fleet#I have feelings about them!!#I've listened to this scene a normal number of times...#Can't decide if it's more angsty if Clara heard his apology or if she didn't...#Also on the topic of Clara's optimism#I think it is a part of her temperament#but I don't think that means it's always easy or that it isn't something that takes active effort#The 'midnight overthinkies' scene showed us that there's a lot going on under the surface#As previously established I don't personally see Clara and Fleet romantically#but nonetheless there is something Orpheus and Eurydice#about two people who care deeply about each other#in a dark tunnel trying to head towards safety#and one of them trusts that the other is behind them#except Clara doesn't look back for a while and then he actually is already gone#and she's alone wondering if she's lost him forever#I think I can draw those parallels platonically#Oh also there's something impressive about a show that can literally raise a guy from the dead in the first season#and yet still have real stakes when he's in life or death situations after that#something deeply sinister about how in Even Greater London no death ever needs to be permanent#but we know that the vast majority of deaths would be because access to that technology is so restricted#inspector fleet#victoriocity season 3#victoriocity podcast#Clara & Fleet#The empty man posteth
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idk if you've seen, but a lot of people are hypothesizing that your "man crush" is on sonic. and are trying to convince him. he doesn't quite believe them though.
I’m going to replace the sharks. They aren’t chewing through the fibre optic cables fast enough. I need the internet dead.
#I’m nuking tumblr#I’m nuking the earth#anons I TRUSTED you#it’s not like it’s true though#I don’t have a man crush#I don’t#If I had a crush I’d simply tell them and not run circles around them#let alone#let alone that hedgehog of all people#Im pulling the SIM card out of Sonic’s phone when we see each other next so he can’t access the internet and therefore can never see tumblr#this is my personal hell#shadow blogging#shadow#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#ask blog#shadow the ultimate lifeform#sonic#rp blog#sonic rp#the ultimate life form
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Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb
#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma#my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that#work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave#and they were like oh no ☺️ it just carries over to her. and I’m like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease#whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say#she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz it’s her name and account attached to the fucking#apartment and I’m just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt#ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she#moves out. I’m actually sick I’m actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly ☺️ perhaps you could work something#out with her and she could buy you out of it and I’m just like. she doesn’t have a job she still hasn’t paid me for LAST months utilities#let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars I’m fucking owed#and it’s like does this actually affect anything? no. I didn’t budget with that money cuz I didn’t actively have it and that’s not smart but#like…. 900 dollars….. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also it’s just infuriating that that money is basically#just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and that’s again if she somehow doesn’t get#her ass evicted cuz she’s not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of#income but ig they probably didn’t check that cuz she technically already lived there I’m just so. I’m so tired and I’m so done can I PLEASE#stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what#while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? I’m done.#I’m so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats#great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and#never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking#life and that’s that. it’ll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering#because holy fucking shit I can’t do it anymore man I’m sick of it I’m sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be#vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a#shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and#always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it#and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and it’s not even about the money atp#but I’m just. I’m so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and I’m tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own#so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and it’s safer that way and I’ll have to stop feeling like#this and dealing with these types of things UGH
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