#and one of them trusts that the other is behind them

[solxamber]

And I Choose...

In which you pick the dorm you want to join

Part 1: Choose Us

Heartslabyul

You never thought you’d see the day when you’d be willingly moving into Heartslabyul, but here you were, standing at the entrance with your bags (and Grim, who was loudly complaining about the lack of a tuna fountain).

Riddle was the first to greet you, looking as composed as ever. “Welcome to Heartslabyul,” he said, hands clasped behind his back. His voice was formal, but the slight upward twitch of his lips betrayed his excitement. “I trust you’ll follow the rules properly now that you’re part of this dorm.”

Before you could respond, Trey appeared beside him, looking far more relaxed. “We’re glad to have you here,” he said with a warm smile. “I already saved you a slice of cake—figured you’d need a snack after all the chaos today.”

Bless this man. Truly.

“Say cheese!”

You barely had time to process Cater’s voice before you were blinded by the flash of his phone. “Oh my Sevens, the new dormie vibe is immaculate! This is totally going on Magicam!” He snapped another selfie, this time pulling you into the frame. “And guess what? I’m using my clones to make moving day a breeze! You’re welcome!”

True to his word, Cater’s clones were already grabbing your stuff. You stared in disbelief as three Cater clones carried a single small bag together while laughing like they were in a cheesy sitcom. Efficiency clearly wasn’t their strong suit, but at least they were trying.

And then there was Ace and Deuce. The moment you’d announced your decision to join Heartslabyul, the duo had erupted into what could only be described as the most uncoordinated, chaotic victory dance you’d ever seen.

Deuce was spinning in circles like he was trying to summon a tornado, while Ace alternated between bad breakdancing and finger guns pointed at no one in particular. “We won! We won!” they chanted, completely ignoring the way Riddle’s eye was twitching in disapproval.

“You know,” you said, watching them make absolute fools of themselves, “I think I made the right choice.”

Grim snorted from his perch on one of your bags. “You’re surrounded by idiots, henchhuman.”

“Maybe,” you said with a grin. “But they’re my idiots.”

Savanaclaw

The moment you announced that you’d chosen Savanaclaw, chaos erupted.

Jack’s tail started wagging so hard it was like a propeller trying to take off. You half-expected him to lift into the air. “You won’t regret it,” he said, his usually calm voice brimming with excitement. “We’ll make sure you feel at home here.”

Ruggie wasted no time grabbing you in a headlock and giving you the noogie of a lifetime. “I knew you’d make the smart choice! You, me, and all this bribe cash—donuts for a whole year, easy! You’re officially part of the Savanaclaw hustle now!”

“Ruggie, I swear, if you ruin my hair—”

But the true shocker was Leona. At first, he played it cool, lounging lazily in his chair like your decision was no big deal. “Hmph, took you long enough,” he said, voice dripping with fake indifference. But then, as if he couldn’t help himself, the corner of his mouth lifted into a smug grin.

And that’s when he pulled out his phone.

“Leona, what are you doing?” you asked, watching as he sidled up to you with the confidence of a king.

“Taking a picture. Gotta rub this in a little.”

Before you could protest, he snapped a selfie of the two of you. Then, with the smoothness of a man who knew exactly what he was doing, he took another.

One went to Vil. The other went to Malleus.

The captions?

To Vil: "Looks like I win. Stay beautiful, princess."

To Malleus: "Better luck next time, lizard."

You groaned, face burning. “Leona, was that really necessary?”

“Absolutely,” he said, slipping his phone back into his pocket and smirking like the cat who caught the canary. “Welcome to the pack, herbivore.”

Despite yourself, you couldn’t help smiling. Maybe Savanaclaw wasn’t such a bad choice after all.

Octavinelle

The second you announced you were choosing Octavinelle, chaos descended faster than you could say “Mostro Lounge.”

Floyd let out an earsplitting cheer and, before you could blink, scooped you up and tossed you into the air like a beach ball.

“Shriiiimpy’s ours now!” he cackled, catching you before launching you up again like he was testing the room's ceiling height.

“Floyd, please!” you yelled, your life flashing before your eyes as you flailed. “I don’t wanna meet the Great Seven this soon!”

Eventually, Jade stepped in, placing a hand on Floyd’s shoulder. “Now, now, Floyd. Let’s not accidentally lose our new dormmate to an untimely accident. We wouldn’t want to scare them away before they’ve even unpacked.”

Floyd, grumbling, set you down but kept a firm arm around your shoulders, as if daring you to second-guess your decision.

Jade, meanwhile, adjusted his gloves with a serene smile that somehow felt a little too sharp. “Welcome to Octavinelle,” he said smoothly. “It’s wonderful to have you with us. I assure you, you’ll be treated with the utmost care here.” He looked way too pleased with himself, his gaze lingering like he was already planning your initiation.

Then there was Azul.

Azul looked like he’d just won a billion Madol jackpot. His eyes gleamed, and for a moment, it seemed like he was going to break into a little dance right there in the lounge. But then, with Herculean effort, he composed himself, clasping his hands and clearing his throat.

“Well, this is certainly a wise choice,” he said, adjusting his glasses like he hadn’t just been doing mental cartwheels. “I’m honored you’ve decided to join Octavinelle. We’ll make sure all your needs are taken care of.”

But then… he slid a very familiar-looking contract across the counter.

“Of course,” Azul added with a dazzling smile, “just a small formality. You see, this document simply guarantees that you’ll remain a proud Octavinelle student until graduation—oh, and a few other things.”

You stared at the contract hoping it might spontaneously combust. “Azul. I literally just joined. Can I have a minute to breathe before I sign my soul away?”

“No rush, no rush!” Azul said, not looking remotely deterred. “Take your time. But, ah—do keep in mind that signing sooner ensures the best possible benefits…”

As Jade handed you a drink (which you were very suspicious of) and Floyd draped himself over you, already talking about all the “fun” you’d have together, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d just made a deal with the devil.

Still, as Azul's smug smile softened into something almost genuine, you decided it wasn’t the worst deal in the world.

Scarabia

The moment you announced your decision, Kalim was on you like a whirlwind.

“YOU CHOSE SCARABIA!!” he yelled, tackling you into a hug so tight you thought you might pop like a balloon. Before you could even gasp for air, he was spinning you around the common room like you were some kind of trophy he’d just won.

“This is AMAZING! We’re gonna have so much fun! Parties! Feasts! Adventures! You’re gonna love it here!” Kalim babbled, his infectious excitement making it hard to even feel dizzy despite the rapid spinning.

“Kalim,” you wheezed, clutching his shoulders, “please put me down before my life flashes before my eyes.”

“Oh, right!” he said, gently setting you down with a sheepish laugh. “I got carried away. I’m just so happy!”

As you tried to steady yourself, a much calmer—but no less relieved—voice spoke from behind Kalim.

“I’m glad you chose Scarabia,” Jamil said, his expression carefully composed, though you could see the faintest hint of relief in his eyes.

You blinked at him, surprised. “Really?”

“Yes,” Jamil replied, crossing his arms and glancing away like he didn’t want to elaborate. But after a beat, he sighed and added, “You’re one of the few people here who keeps things balanced. With you around, maybe I’ll have a chance to stay sane.”

Your heart melted a little at his quiet admission, even as Kalim jumped in again, declaring he’d throw a party that night to celebrate your move.

“Let’s get food! Music! Oh, we should decorate your room! Jamil, can we hang up those golden lanterns I found last week? And—”

“Kalim,” Jamil interrupted, pinching the bridge of his nose but unable to hide the faint smile tugging at his lips, “one thing at a time. Let them breathe.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the dynamic, feeling a warm sense of belonging already. Scarabia might be a lot, but it felt like home.

Pomefiore

The second you announced your decision, Epel let out a laugh so sinister it would’ve sent chills down a villain’s spine. “HA! TAKE THAT, EVERYONE ELSE!” he shouted, whipping out his phone to snap a selfie with you.

Of course, Rook popped into the frame with perfect timing, striking an overly dramatic pose as Epel sent the picture straight to the first-year chat. “VICTORY IS OURS!” was the only caption needed.

Before you could even blink, Rook had swooped in, bowing theatrically. “Ah, mon cher, your choice has blessed us with the most magnifique triumph! Let us celebrate with a dance!”

You barely had time to protest before he twirled you around the room like you were in some period drama. His excitement was so contagious you almost didn’t notice when he dipped you dramatically—until you felt yourself tipping back, only to be caught by Vil.

“Honestly, Rook,” Vil sighed, steadying you with all the grace in the world. “Do try not to give them whiplash their first day.”

He turned to you, his usual poised demeanor firmly in place, though the faint smile tugging at his lips betrayed his true feelings. “Welcome to Pomefiore,” he said, his voice soft, yet commanding. “You’ve made the right decision.”

You were about to respond when Vil, ever the perfectionist, immediately began fussing over your uniform. “Honestly, you can’t be seen like this. Your tie is uneven, and—Rook, stop standing there and help them adjust their collar properly!”

As Vil worked, meticulously fixing every little detail, you couldn’t help but notice the gleam of satisfaction in his eyes. He might’ve been playing it cool, but there was no hiding how pleased he was to have you here.

Epel and Rook, meanwhile, had started arguing about who deserved the credit for your choice, while Vil made it very clear that it was his influence that sealed the deal.

And just like that, your chaotic new life in Pomefiore began.

Ignihyde

The moment the words “I’m choosing Ignihyde” left your mouth, Idia froze like someone had yanked his power cord out. His hair flickered erratically, and for a second, you thought he might actually pass out.

“Big Brother? Big Brother!” Ortho shook him frantically, his mechanical arms making a soft whirring sound. “Stay with us! They chose us! You can’t glitch out now!”

Idia finally snapped back to reality, though his face was still pale, his hair sputtering like a dying neon sign. “W-Wait, what?! You…chose here? Are you serious? This isn’t like, a prank, right? Did Ortho bribe you?!”

“No pranks, no bribes. I chose Ignihyde,” you said, trying not to laugh at his genuine bewilderment.

He blinked rapidly, processing your words. “B-But the PowerPoint… I thought it was way too cringe. I mean, I had like, fifty slides about food optimization! Who’d find that interesting?! You were supposed to be like, ‘Ew, no thanks,’ and leave!”

“Actually, I thought it was kind of cute,” you admitted, watching as his hair flared a bright pink.

“C-CUTE?! AAHH, STOP, YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!” He clutched his hoodie like his heart was going to short-circuit.

“Big Brother, calm down!” Ortho interjected, practically beaming. “They chose us! Isn’t this the best thing ever?”

Idia rubbed the back of his neck, his gaze darting anywhere but at you. “…So, uh, do you wanna, like…celebrate or something? I-I mean, I know you probably have better things to do, b-but if you wanna…play a game or something, that’d be cool.”

You smiled. “I’d love to.”

Ortho let out an excited cheer and zipped over to hug you tightly, his arms surprisingly warm. “Welcome to Ignihyde! I’m so happy you’re here! This is gonna be the best!”

As Ortho buzzed around you, already listing off all the things you could do together, you caught Idia sneaking a shy glance your way. His hair was still flickering pink, and he looked like he couldn’t believe this was real.

You weren’t sure what life in Ignihyde would bring, but if it meant seeing Idia like this—flustered, happy, and maybe a little hopeful—you knew you’d made the right choice.

Diasomnia

The moment you announced you’d chosen Diasomnia, Sebek practically burst into flames.

“OF COURSE YOU CHOSE DIASOMNIA!” he boomed, puffing up with pride. “It’s the only logical choice! With the Young Master here, there was no other dorm worthy of your presence!”

Silver chuckled softly at Sebek’s theatrics, stepping forward with a kind smile. “Welcome to Diasomnia. I’m glad you’re joining us. Let me know if you need help moving your things—I’ll be happy to assist.”

Before you could respond, Lilia appeared out of thin air, laughing like a mischievous ghost. “Ah, welcome, welcome! We’ve been expecting you…or at least, I have. Let me go fetch Malleus so he can hear the good news himself!” And with that, he vanished in a puff of green smoke, leaving you blinking at the empty spot he’d occupied seconds before.

Malleus arrived moments later, his towering presence filling the room. His emerald eyes softened as they landed on you. “I heard you’ve made your decision. Have you truly chosen Diasomnia as your dorm?”

You smiled up at him. “Yeah, I chose Diasomnia.”

The way his face lit up was unlike anything you’d ever seen. His usual composed demeanor melted into something warmer, brighter. He almost looked…giddy.

“This pleases me greatly,” he said, his voice rumbling with quiet joy. “Come. I’ll give you a proper tour of our dorm.”

You didn’t even get a chance to answer before he gently ushered you forward, beginning the grand tour of Diasomnia. Lilia popped in and out of nowhere as you walked, adding bizarre and entirely unnecessary facts.

“And over there,” Lilia said, gesturing to a decorative suit of armor, “is what I wore when I once tripped and almost spilled soup on Malleus when he was a child. Ah, good times.”

Malleus sighed but didn’t stop him. “This area is the library. Feel free to browse the shelves at your leisure. I can show you my favorite tomes later.”

“And this hallway is where Sebek shouted for the first time when he thought Malleus was missing! Nearly shattered all the windows,” Lilia added with a grin.

You couldn’t help but laugh, the whole thing feeling so surreal yet oddly comforting. Silver walked quietly beside you, throwing in the occasional useful tidbit, while Sebek followed behind, grumbling something about Lilia not taking the tour seriously.

By the time the tour ended, you felt strangely at home. The eccentricity, the warmth, the oddly familial atmosphere—it all wrapped around you like a cozy blanket.

Malleus turned to you, his expression soft but sincere. “You’ll be safe here. I’ll personally see to it.”

Lilia smirked. “Safe and well-fed. I’ll whip up something special to celebrate!”

“Please don’t,” Sebek muttered, but you just laughed, already feeling like you belonged.

Secret ending: Ramshackle

When you finally dragged yourself back to Ramshackle, you were met with Grim, lounging on the couch like he hadn't a care in the world.

"Well, henchhuman? Which dorm are we moving to? I hope you picked the one with the best tuna," he yawned, tail flicking lazily.

You slumped down next to him, groaning. "None of them."

Grim's ears perked up. "Huh? What do ya mean, none of them?!"

"I told Crowley to just fix the worst parts of this place. I’d rather stay here. Everyone’s so excited for me to join their dorm—I don’t wanna disappoint them."

Grim blinked at you, then shrugged like it didn’t matter. "Eh, as long as you're still my henchhuman, I don’t care. Besides, this place has character! And by character, I mean it’s haunted, but still."

The next day, Crowley gathered the staff and shared your decision with them. You’d half-expected him to brush off his promise, but to your utter shock, the teachers actually…pitched in.

Vargas showed up first, flexing dramatically. "Alright! Time to show these walls the power of my biceps! I’ll have this place sturdy in no time!" He started hammering away, though you were slightly concerned when he tried to patch a hole in the ceiling using a workout bench.

Trein followed, shaking his head disapprovingly. "This building is a historical relic, and it deserves proper restoration." He brought Lucius along, who mostly supervised by napping in different corners.

Crewel arrived next, snapping his gloves on. "We’re not half-assing this. Ramshackle is getting a full makeover. And you’re going to help, pup. Start scrubbing those floors. Chop, chop!"

Even Sam surprised you by popping up with a toolbox and a grin. "Can’t have my favorite customer living in a death trap, can I? Plus, a little investment in the neighborhood never hurts business!"

The repairs were chaotic but effective. You spent days dodging Vargas’ overly enthusiastic demolition attempts, enduring Trein’s lectures on historical preservation, and running errands for Crewel while he barked orders like you were a rookie in boot camp.

By the end of it, Ramshackle was almost unrecognizable. The roof no longer leaked, the walls were sturdy, and the floors didn’t creak like a ghost was stalking you (though you were pretty sure the ghosts were still there, just quieter).

Grim looked around, nodding in approval. "Not bad, huh? Maybe this place isn’t such a dump anymore."

You smiled, patting his head. "Yeah, it’s still home."

And as you settled back into your slightly less ramshackle life, you couldn’t help but feel a little grateful. Sure, your dorm might not have been the flashiest or fanciest, but it was yours. And that was more than enough.

Masterlist

[willowsnook]

breaking rules

Can we get heavy PDA Joe and everyone’s reaction

joe burrow x gf!reader 

—-------------------—----

Your friends made fun of you relentlessly because, to a lot of the outside world, it looked like you and Joe were just friends, distant cousins even. PDA made you very uncomfortable, and that paired well with Joe, who hated anyone prying into his private life. Of course, his teammates and your circle knew that the two of you were together, but the media had yet to catch on, even though you guys lived together. 

So imagine your surprise when it was now an hour into the team’s post-season dinner party, and Joe had not left your side. Usually,  at these events, you arrive together but then break off, him going to find his boyfriend Ja’Marr, and you going to hang with some of the other WAGs. Then you meet up at the end to leave, and the cycle repeats. 

But tonight, Joe’s hand had been snugly placed around your waist, even when you were talking to other people.  Missing the playoffs had hit him hard, and you had watched him retreat into his shell these past few weeks; you were there for him when he needed it. So you weren’t shocked at his lack of conversation tonight but surprised by the touch. 

The people you were talking to left to grab a drink at the bar, so you took the opportunity to turn to Joe. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, concerned. 

“Mmhmm,” he mumbled. You looked down at his arm wrapped around you and back up at him, arching an eyebrow. “Just want to be close to you.” 

Nodding, you decided you’d let him have a pass tonight to be clingy, even though you were cringing on the inside. Ja’Marr called over to Joe from the other side of the room and you were dragged along to join them. He was sitting on a couch next to Tee, and Joe sat down in an armchair, pulling you down on top of him. Both of his friends’ eyes widened at the sight. 

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Ja’Marr said once he came out of shock. 

“I thought you guys would never beat the siblings allegations,” Tee chimed in and Joe flipped them off before settling his arms tightly around your waist, pulling you against his chest. 

You felt your cheeks flush as you settled into Joe's lap, acutely aware of the eyes on you. Joe seemed unfazed, his thumb tracing lazy circles on your hip as he chatted with Ja'Marr and Tee. You tried to relax, reminding yourself that these were your friends, but you couldn't shake the feeling of exposure.

"You good?" Joe murmured in your ear, his breath warm against your skin.

You nodded, not trusting your voice. Joe pressed a soft kiss to your temple, and you heard Tee let out a low whistle.

"Damn, Joe. Who are you and what have you done with our QB1?" Tee teased.

As the night wore on, Joe's affection only intensified. He peppered kisses along your shoulder, nuzzled into your neck, and whispered sweet nothings in your ear. Your discomfort battled with a growing warmth in your chest at his open displays of love.

"Get a room, you two!" Sam Hubbard called out as he passed by, earning a chorus of laughter and wolf whistles from nearby teammates.

Joe just grinned, pulling you impossibly closer. "Maybe we will," he shot back and you slapped him in the chest. 

Deciding you needed some air, you walked off towards the balcony, naturally with Joe right behind you. 

“I’m giving you a one-night pass for this kind of behavior only because you’ve been so depressing,” you told him and he smirked at your honesty. He stepped closer to you, sliding his arms around your waist while you rested yours on his shoulders. 

“Then I better take advantage hmm,” he said, eyes flickering down to your lips. Before you could protest, his lips were on yours, moving steadily as he found comfort in you. His hands started to dip lower, and you swatted them, causing him to smile against you. 

When you pulled back, you gave him an irritated look, and he pouted. 

“Come on princess, I just need you,” he admitted and your heart clenched at his words. You knew he was holding on to you like a lifeline and he knew you’d do anything to be there for him. 

“Fine, then let’s get a room hot shot,” you said, dragging him off the balcony and towards the front of the venue. Ja’Marr gave you a teasing wave goodbye and you flipped him off. 

Joe chuckled at your gesture, his hand laced tightly with yours as you maneuvered through the crowded room. The whispers and knowing smirks from his teammates didn’t faze him in the slightest, but you could feel your cheeks heating up again.

“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” you muttered as you both stepped outside, the cool night air hitting your face.

“Immensely,” Joe replied, his grin only widening. “Can’t let them think I’m a robot all the time.”

You rolled your eyes, but the smile tugging at your lips betrayed your amusement. Once you reached the car, Joe opened the door for you with a flourish, earning an eye roll that turned into a laugh. He climbed in after you, wasting no time pulling you back into his lap.

“Joe,” you started to protest, but he silenced you with another kiss, this one softer, less teasing, and more vulnerable.

“Thank you,” he murmured against your lips when he finally pulled back, his voice low and sincere. “For putting up with me tonight. For everything.”

Your heart softened as you reached up to brush a strand of hair from his forehead. “Always, Joe. I’ve got you.”

His smile this time wasn’t the playful smirk you were used to. It was small, genuine, and filled with gratitude. You let yourself lean into him, your fingers absentmindedly playing with the chain around his neck as the driver started the car.

For all the teasing and awkwardness of the night, you knew one thing for certain: Joe Burrow might not be big on PDA most of the time, but when he let his guard down like this, you couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

[enbyorge]

I have a Secret^TM Stop Crying Sooner (ish) technique, and I will never tell a single person what it is ever.

Why?

Because the second someone even thinks in my general direction about "gUiDiNg mE" through my own freaking thing, it will never work again.

[Oops, I made a rant]

If I'm crying in public, I'm probably losing my mind and definitely absolutely terrified. The only way other people could possibly help is to stay far enough in front of me that I don't think you might try to touch me (or that I could at least get away if you did make that very bad mistake) and ESPECIALLY not go behind me.

Honestly, if I'm crying in public, there's a huge chance my back was touched, and an even bigger chance I either have heard or will hear "tHeY DiDn'T ToUcH yOu oN pUrPoSe!!1!" Which will instantly make me think of that idiocy every time I think of the person who said it for the rest of my life.

Fact: My amygdala doesn't care in the slightest if you MEANT to make it mistake you for an axe murderer. Say sorry if you must, but never mention the incident again. I'm more likely to forget you were even there the day it happened if you just leave it at one perfunctory "sorry" and pretend nothing happened. It probably wasn't actually your fault beyond a completely human level of not noticing the proximity of my back to your elbow/shoulder/whatever.

These incidents would escalate so much less if people just let me stand with my back pressed firmly into a wall for a few minutes until I can get over it on my own. And if it didn't coincide with physically painful (to me) levels of noise.

TLDR: Don't touch someone when you don't know for absolute certain that you, personally, would be acceptable touch to them, personally, in that exact moment, and don't get defensive at people for not instantly deciding you are the most trustworthy person on the planet. No one owes you trust in a panic attack, meltdown, (I hate that term, but that's a me thing.) Etc.

Trust is earned through good behavior while not expecting trust to be given.

Also, if you don't know someone, don't decide to play doctor with their heads. Panic does not justify white-knighting, and the person panicking does not deserve to be your prop to earn cool points.

Grounding techniques don't really work for me especially in public... "five things I can see" I see a bunch of people pissing me off

[maretinelli]

YOUR LOVE HURTS

Lando Norris X paramedic!fem!reader

Summary: Years of friendship bind Y/N and Lando, but also prevent them from confessing the love they feel. He tries to escape his feelings by getting involved with other women, while she finds herself in frustrating dates that were secretly sabotaged by her best friend. However, some secrets cannot be hidden forever.

Words: 7.7K+

Warnings: Anguish, best friends to lovers, mentions of Y/n's work, bottled up feelings, fights between best friends (and physical aggression, but nothing too specific and serious) and of course, happy ending because I can't handle myself hahaha

Author: English is not my first language, so apologies for any mistakes that may occur throughout the story. I don't know where this idea came from, but it's definitely meant to be written for Lando hahaha I hope you like it, as always❤️🇧🇷

MASTERLIST

Y/N and Lando's friendship began unexpectedly during her first few months at McLaren. She was a young, newly qualified paramedic, full of determination but still learning to deal with the fast pace of the Formula 1 world.

Their first interaction happened after a small incident on the track during training. Although it wasn't serious, Lando needed assistance, and Y/N, even though she was still in training, was assigned to help him. He, with his relaxed and playful manner, tried to ease her nervousness with jokes, while she focused on her work, responding with a shy smile.

It was a simple moment, but it marked the beginning of something special.

As time went by and because they worked on the same team, casual meetings in the paddocks and quick conversations became more frequent.

Lando found in Y/N a person he could trust, someone who listened to his concerns without judging him, while she found in him a friend who made her feel comfortable and at ease in such a competitive environment.

They started sharing little everyday things - inside jokes, advice, secrets. It was easy to be around each other, as if they had always been a part of each other's lives. Therefore, it was not uncommon to see them together between runs or even outside of work, laughing and joking as if the rest of the world didn't exist.

However, behind the laughter and complicity, there were looks that lasted a second longer, subtle touches that awakened unexpected sensations and a feeling of emptiness whenever they were away from each other.

Y/N began to notice that Lando's smile made her heart race in a way she couldn't explain. Lando, in turn, found himself thinking about her more than he should, feeling restless when he saw her with other men.

It was a mixture of passion and love that scared them, something so intense that they preferred to keep it a secret, afraid of destroying the friendship they valued so much.

It was a hot and busy day at Silverstone Circuit, the traditional venue for the British Grand Prix. It was free practice day, and McLaren was focused on fine-tuning Lando and Oscar's car to ensure a good performance over the weekend.

Y/N, meanwhile, was in the VIP room reserved for team members and special guests, enjoying a rare moment of tranquility. The room was practically empty, with only the low sound of the television broadcasting the training sessions and the soft noise of the coffee machine in operation.

The paramedic was focused, holding the cup with one hand while adjusting the amount of coffee with the other. However, her peace was interrupted when she felt firm hands land on her shoulders, making her jump a little in fright.

Turning quickly, eyes wide and heart racing, she came face to face with Lando.

He was smiling, with his jumpsuit half open and the black team t-shirt underneath, still sweaty from training.

"Hey, who are you running away from to scare yourself like that?" He joked, with that relaxed tone that only he knew how to use.

She sighed in relief, but soon smiled, now more relaxed. "Shh," she said, leaning slightly towards him as if she were going to tell him a big secret. "I'm hiding from my department head. She wants me to tidy up the entire dressing room. But honestly, that's not my job. Put the newbies to it, I'm not one anymore."

Lando laughed, throwing his head back. "Classic! You're the only person who can get out of work during a Grand Prix."

"Oh come on, I deserve a coffee at least," she replied, lifting the cup like it was a trophy. "And you? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be analyzing data or something?"

"Maybe I just came to look for you," Lando said with a smirk, but quickly added, "Or maybe I came to get you some coffee too. But I'll let you decide which one sounds more interesting."

Y/N shook her head, laughing, as she finished preparing her drink and moved out of the way so he could help himself as well.

Between teasing and smiles, what was supposed to be a brief pause ended up becoming another moment that both would cherish, without realizing that, deep down, it was in these small moments that the feeling between them grew even more.

Lando poured himself some coffee as Y/N watched him, leaning against the counter. He turned to her with the cup in his hand, taking a sip before casually asking,

"What's up, paramedic? Any interesting stories today? Have you saved anyone's life or was it all smooth sailing?"

"Nothing too exciting. I just saw one of the mechanics earlier, he cut his hand while working on something on the car. And one of the engineers called me because he thought he was having an 'allergic reaction.'" She made air quotes with her fingers, laughing. "Actually, he just ate too much chili at lunch and got really upset."

Lando laughed out loud, nearly spilling his coffee.

"This is the kind of drama you expect from engineers, isn't it? They're always exaggerating."

"Yes, and of course, it was up to me to calm him down," she replied, crossing her arms. "But other than that, nothing major. I think my job only gets exciting when you or Oscar decide to do something stupid on the floor."

"Hey!" Lando feigned offense, pointing at her with his cup. "I'm an extremely careful pilot, I'll remind you of that."

"Of course it is," Y/N replied sarcastically as she gave his shoulder a light shove.

They laughed together and then decided to leave the VIP room.

The paddock was busy as usual, but there was a good vibe in the air, typical of a race weekend. As they walked by, people greeted them, waving or exchanging a few quick words.

They walked side by side through the paddock, enveloped in a comfortable silence. The noise around them—the distant sound of engines, the excited chatter of the teams, the hum of the fans—seemed to blend into an indistinct backdrop.

They were close to the garage of the team they worked in, where the movement was even greater, but even so, Norris seemed oblivious to everything, lost in his own thoughts as he looked at Y/N.

She paused for a moment, leaning her elbow on the railing overlooking the track and resting her head on her hand. Her eyes were fixed on the straightaway, as if she were thinking about something far away. Lando stood beside her, but his attention was not on the track or the commotion around them.

It was in her.

A slight smile appeared on his lips. He didn't know exactly why, but he always felt this way around her, as if the whole world could stop, and none of it would matter as long as she was there. It was something that scared him and, at the same time, comforted him. He tried to look away, but, as always, he failed.

"So, Norris," she began, breaking the silence as she still stared out at the track. A smile forming on her face. "Which woman did you bring to this weekend's GP?"

The question took him by surprise, and he let out a short laugh, trying to hide his discomfort. "Ah, Y/N, straight to the point, aren't you?"

"I'm just curious," she said, turning to him with a mischievous smile. "There's always one, isn't there? I thought you were going to be modeling some model today. Or maybe a cheap actress."

He laughed again, but this time it was more nervous.

"Well, this time, no one. Maybe I gave my charm a break."

"Impressive" Y/N replied, still smiling. "Could it be that the world is ending and no one told me?"

Lando shook his head, laughing, but his smile soon faded as the thoughts he had been trying so hard to avoid began to surface.

He knew why he dated so many women, why he threw himself into relationships that meant nothing. It was to forget. To try, somehow, to silence what he felt for her.

But it didn't work. It never worked. And it never would.

He remembered the nights he went out with someone, the times he tried to convince himself that this girl was what he needed. And then, every time, without fail, Y/N's image would appear. It was as if his mind betrayed him.

During kisses that should have been passionate, he thought about her. When he was alone in bed with some girl next to him, he imagined it was her. And it consumed him, because, no matter how much he tried to deny it, he knew the truth. None of them were her.

"You're quiet all of a sudden," Y/N commented, turning to face him with an arched eyebrow. As she sipped the rest of her coffee from the cup.

Lando blinked, shaking off his thoughts and regaining his smile. "I'm just enjoying the moment, Miss 'Too Curious'."

Y/N rolled her eyes with a smile, looking back at the track. He, however, continued to look at her, with a heavy heart, trying to hide what he felt behind yet another joke. As he always did.

She continued to stare at the track, the light wind blowing a few loose strands of her hair, while Lando stood beside her, leaning against the barrier. He was watching her discreetly again, but this time she turned, as if she had sensed something, and her eyes widened as she saw someone approaching in the middle of the paddock flow.

"Oh no" The paramedic muttered, turning to Lando with a mischievous smile and a gleam of urgency in her eyes. "My boss is coming. We have to escape."

Lando arched an eyebrow, clearly amused by her drama. "We? No, no. You have to run away. I did my job well today."

She rolled her eyes, pushing his shoulder lightly. "Don't be ridiculous, help me!"

Before she could say anything else, Lando was already pulling her by the hand. "Okay, let's go, runaway paramedic." He said with a huge smile, starting to run across the paddock.

The two of them ran down the busy hallway, laughing like they were teenagers running away from a teacher in the school hallway. Y/N glanced back on reflex, and there was her boss, trying to get past people and clearly looking for her.

"She's going to kill me" Y/N said between laughs, trying to keep up with Lando's pace.

"That's because you're always running away from work, Y/N!" Lando joked, looking back to check if her boss was still away.

"I work harder than you, Norris!" Y/N replied, unable to contain her laughter.

They turned a corner, passing members of other teams who gave the pair confused looks. Lando, still holding Y/N's hand, made sure to pick up the pace, making sure her boss lost track.

Finally, they stopped in a quieter area, hiding next to some crates near the garage.

The two were panting, trying to catch their breath as they laughed softly.

"Right" Lando said between breaths. "That was the most exciting thing that happened all day."

“Definitely” Y/N replied, leaning against one of the boxes, still laughing. She looked at Norris, her expression relaxed and genuinely happy. “You’re terrible, you know that?”

"Hey, I saved your life just now" he snapped, raising his hands in defense.

She just shook her head, the smile still plastered on her face. "You did, but only because you like to meddle in my problems."

"Oh, maybe" the pilot said, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. "But I guess that's one of my duties as your best friend."

She opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, Lando flashed her that smile that always made her heart flutter. Even after so many years, he still had that effect on her.

She looked away, trying to hide the blush rising in her face as he watched her, his expression soft and his heart beating a little faster than he cared to admit.

••••••••••••••••••••••••

The sun shone down on the paddock on the second day of action at Silverstone Circuit. The atmosphere was as frenetic as ever, with mechanics, drivers and team members rushing around.

Y/N walked quickly across the paddock, holding some first aid supplies in one hand and some papers in the other. Oscar had been slightly injured during training, and she was going to meet him to check if he was okay.

She was walking so quickly, her mind focused on her work, that she didn't notice someone turning the corner at the same time. The impact was inevitable. Y/N stumbled backwards, but before she could fall, she felt firm hands holding her by the waist, stabilizing her.

"Hold on" Lando said, smirking as he held her.

Y/N clutched the items in her hands, making sure nothing fell out, and looked up, meeting Lando's eyes. His face softened when he saw his best friend there.

They were so close that she could feel the heat of his body and hear his soft breath against her face. His gaze seemed different this time, more intense, as if he were seeing something beyond what he was used to. Her heart raced, and she swallowed hard, realizing that he was still holding her.

"Lando, if you wanted to hug me, you just had to ask, you didn't have to run me over" Y/N joked, trying to lighten the moment and hide her nervousness.

He let out a humorless laugh, removing his hands from her waist in one quick movement and crossing his arms, clearly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, well... you were the one who bumped into me, but it's okay, I'll let it go this time," he replied, looking away for a moment.

Y/N smiled, still trying to ignore the blush on her cheeks as she rearranged the items she was carrying.

"So, where were you going in such a hurry?" Lando asked, changing the subject to diffuse the tension.

"I was on my way to see Oscar," she explained, waving the papers in her hand. "He got hurt a little in practice, but nothing serious. I'm just going to make sure he doesn't make a big deal out of it."

Lando chuckled, shaking his head. "How typical of him."

"Now it's your turn," she said, narrowing her eyes with a curious smile. "And you, where were you going?"

He hesitated for a moment, his fingers itching in the pocket of his overalls. The truth was that he was going to meet a woman he had been casually involved with, yet another attempt to stifle the feelings he had for Y/N.

But now, standing there, with her looking at him like that, it seemed almost impossible to say it.

"Oh, I..." Norris began, scratching the back of his neck and looking away. "I was going to... meet someone."

"A person?" Y/N asked, arching an eyebrow, but already knowing what he was talking about.

"Yeah, you know, just... someone." He smiled awkwardly, trying to lighten the weight of the words.

Y/N felt discomfort growing in her chest, but forced herself to keep her tone light. "Oh, sure, Lando Norris and his lucky fans," she said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I hope she knows she's competing with her best friend as the most amazing person you know."

Lando heard the tone in her voice, something she was clearly trying to hide, and for a moment he was speechless. Her smile seemed less genuine, and he knew the conversation had changed the mood between them.

Before he could respond, a voice called out to Y/N in the distance. "Y/N! Come!"

She turned toward the sound, seeing one of the engineers waving at her. “I have to go,” she said, turning her gaze back to Lando. “Don’t be late for qualifying, Norris.” She smiled again, but this time it was more of a mask than anything else.

Lando nodded, watching her walk quickly away across the paddock, disappearing into the crowd.

The pilot stood there for a few seconds, still processing what had just happened. He looked at the path he should follow, where the woman was waiting for him, but the idea of meeting her now seemed completely wrong.

Without much thought, he turned and began walking back to the garage.

He wasn't going to meet her. He didn't need to. He didn't want to.

Instead, he decided to focus on what really mattered: The race, and maybe, who knows, the chance to resolve what he felt for Y/N before it was too late.

The day passed slowly, but the atmosphere between Y/N and Lando seemed heavier than usual. Ever since their conversation in the paddock in the morning, she had kept herself busy, always finding something to do, avoiding any opportunity to be alone with him.

Lando, for his part, tried to ignore the discomfort he felt, but every moment their eyes met and she quickly looked away made everything seem worse.

It was late afternoon, and Lando was in the McLaren garage, sitting in a corner, lost in thought. He stared at a spot on the floor, his arms crossed and his mind restless. The morning's conversation kept replaying in his head, and he couldn't shake the discomfort he felt.

Oscar appeared at her side, casual as always, with a bottle of water in his hand and the bandage that Y/N applied to his face as soon as he left training.

He looked at his teammate, immediately realizing what was going on. "You know this is a terrible idea, right?" Piastri said bluntly, catching Lando's attention.

The Brit raised his eyebrows, surprised by the direct approach. "What?"

"Staying in this stupid cycle of dating women to try to forget Y/N. Everyone knows you like her. Even she knows, probably."

Lando let out a sarcastic laugh, shaking his head. "Thank you, Doctor Piastri, but I don't think my love life is any of your business."

Oscar ignored the defensive tone and rolled his eyes, taking a sip of water before continuing. "Seriously, Lando. You need to stop running away from this. Tell her what you're thinking, just get it over with. Everyone sees the way you look at her. And honestly, I think she has feelings for you too."

Lando was silent, processing his friend's words. He knew Oscar was right, but admitting it to himself was another story. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands.

Before he could answer, they both saw Y/N in the distance, walking quickly towards the garage, seeming focused on her cell phone and a little rushed.

Oscar elbowed Lando lightly, leaning in to speak softly. "Now's a good time. Go for it."

"No way" Lando replied, looking at the ground and pretending not to hear.

Y/N was so focused that she didn't notice the two. Oscar, however, didn't miss the chance to call out to her. "Y/N! Where are you going in such a hurry?"

She stopped abruptly and turned around, surprised to see them there. "Oh, hi, boys" she said, with a slightly nervous smile.

Oscar raised his eyebrows, clearly curious. "Are you running away from something? Or someone?"

Y/N laughed, but her nervousness was evident. She began to fiddle with the bag she was carrying, avoiding their gazes.

"Actually, I... was leaving early."

"Leaving early?" Lando asked, raising an eyebrow, his voice carrying a hint of curiosity.

She bit her lip, looking down at her feet before finally confessing, "Yeah, I... have dinner."

Oscar and Lando exchanged quick glances, and it was Lando who broke the silence, his voice now more serious and emotionless.

"You didn't tell me anything."

The paramedic fiddled with the hem of McLaren's blouse, clearly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, well... He works at Mercedes. He's a close friend of George's, and he helped set up the meeting. He's a really nice guy, you know? We're going out tonight."

The words hit Lando like a punch to the gut. He tried to maintain his composure, but his chest felt tight, as if the air had been sucked out of the room. Lando forced a smile that didn’t reach his eyes and gave a slight nod.

"I see. Good for you."

As Y/N spoke, he couldn't help but think about how wrong it felt. The idea of Y/N with another guy, someone other than him, was unbearable. He knew he had no right to feel jealous, but it was impossible not to feel that way.

What he didn't know, however, was that Y/N was only dating that guy because he had something that reminded her of Lando.

A smile, the slightly curly hair, the relaxed way of speaking, even the tone of the voice. She was trying to convince herself that she could move on, that she didn't need to keep harboring feelings for someone who would clearly never see her the same way.

She was wrong. Clearly wrong.

Oscar noticed their discomfort, but remained silent, pretending he wasn't there and waiting to see how the situation would unfold.

"Well, I have to go" she said, finally looking up. "Wish me luck."

She smiled before turning and walking towards the paddock exit, leaving Lando standing there, feeling like the ground had collapsed beneath his feet.

Oscar looked at him, waiting for a reaction. "What now?"

"Now I'm going to solve this!" Lando starts walking and Oscar follows him for a moment.

"What are you going to do? Are you going to confess to her?" Oscar asks a little loudly, as Lando comes out into the paddock.

"No, I'm going to do something else." He walks faster, trying to be faster than Y/N, going another way so she doesn't see him.

Oscar runs his hand through his hair, fearing what his friend might do.

•••••••••••••••••••

Y/N was in the hotel room, finishing the last details of her hair, while looking at her reflection in the mirror. A genuine smile lit up her face, something rare lately.

Every movement, every small preparation, made her mind wander. She couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like if, instead of meeting someone else, it was with Lando. The fluid conversation, the jokes that only they understood, the comfort he brought so effortlessly.

He sighed, returning to reality as he looked at the delicate watch on his wrist. The hand indicated that there were only a few minutes left until the agreed time in the hotel lobby.

She grabbed her bag and, after one last look in the mirror, left the room, locking the door behind her.

The elevator took her down to the ground floor in silence. As the doors opened and she began walking toward the reception, her cell phone vibrated in her hand. Unlocking the device, she read the message:

"Y/N, I'm sorry, but I won't be able to make it. Something unforeseen happened here and we can schedule it for another day. Good night"

What do you mean unexpected? What? And why now at the last minute?

She stopped in her tracks, reading the message over and over again. She huffed in frustration as she rolled her eyes. She put her phone back in her bag, irritated by the setback, but she also couldn't ignore the feeling of relief that began to grow in her chest.

She didn't know what she would do if this meeting went beyond her expectations. After all, four years ago, her heart already had an owner. And he didn't even know it.

Still absorbing the mix of feelings, Y/N looked around. Her eyes landed on the hotel bar, a cozy and elegant space, and she decided that since she was ready, she wouldn't go back to her room any time soon.

She walked over and sat down on one of the high stools. The waiter approached, and she didn't hesitate.

"What's the strongest drink you have here?"

The waiter raised an eyebrow and gave a small smile before walking away. A few minutes later, he returned with a strong, aromatic cocktail garnished with a minimalist touch. Y/N took the glass, nodding in thanks, and took a long sip, feeling the warmth of the drink run down her throat.

It was then that he heard a familiar, hoarse voice beside him.

“Y/N?”

She turned her head and found him standing there beside her, a look of mild surprise on his face. Lando Norris. He ordered a beer from the waiter before continuing.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had a date."

Y/N let out a short laugh, shaking her head. "I did. But he canceled. Something unexpected, it seems." She rolls her eyes.

Lando frowned slightly, seeming to feel sorry for her. But happy inside, after all, his plan had worked.

"Seriously? He stood you up like that?"

"Yeah, it seems so," she replied, shrugging and trying to keep her tone casual. "What about you? Shouldn't you be resting for tomorrow?"

"I should have, but..." He shrugged with a carefree smile. "...Let's just say I needed a beer. I guess it was a good decision, since I found you here."

On the outside, Lando seemed calm, but on the inside, he was filled with relief. The idea of Y/N dating another man had bothered him more than he wanted to admit. And now that his plan was in place, he could breathe a sigh of relief.

He leaned against the counter, looking at her with a soft smile.

"Well, since your date is canceled, I might as well sacrifice myself and stay here drinking with you."

Y/N let out a genuine laugh, raising her glass towards him. "You're sacrificing yourself for me? That's a new one."

"Someone has to do the hard work." Lando raised his beer bottle and clinked it, the two of them laughing together.

The relaxed atmosphere took hold of them, and before long they were laughing, talking and sharing stories just like old times.

Even forgetting the tense atmosphere they experienced in the paddock that morning.

••••••••••••••••••••••

The night before, the hotel bar was the scene of laughter, stories and a mood that the two had not felt in a long time. Y/N and Lando started with light conversations, but the drink seemed to release the words that were kept deep in their hearts.

Lando, beer in hand, looked at her as if every word mattered, as if every laugh she gave was precious. The warmth of the drink made him feel lighter, but also more vulnerable.

In a moment of silence between the two, he looked at her, feeling the urge to finally say what had been kept inside him for so long.

"Y/N..." He began, his voice lower, almost hesitant.

She looked at him curiously, a soft smile on her lips. "What is it, dear Lando?"

He knew he was drunk, he knew that if he said something there, she might not take it seriously. Maybe she would even think it was the drink talking and not him.

"Oh, nothing. Forget it. I think I've had too much to drink."

Y/N laughed, taking another sip of her drink. "That's a new one. You admitting you crossed the line."

The next morning, Y/N was near the garage, close to her room where she was organizing some medical equipment, arranging the clipboards and supplies to use that day, in case there was an accident on the track.

As she finished organizing her things, she saw the man she was supposed to have gone out with the night before walking by. Ever the kind person, he approached her with a polite smile.

"Hey!" She greeted him, catching his attention. He turned and smiled when he saw her, pausing for a moment.

"Y/N! Good morning! How are you?"

"Yes, everything is great. And you?"

He nodded, but before he could continue, she raised an eyebrow, looking at him with a half-playful smile. "You know, I was thinking about your 'unforeseen' incident yesterday. Was it serious? Is everything resolved now?"

In fact, she didn't think about it, she was just trying to understand why he had canceled.

He gave a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his neck as he looked at her. "Well, about that... It's kind of complicated."

Y/N crossed her arms, below the stethoscope hanging around her neck, tilting her head slightly, curious.

"Complicated how? You've got me curious now."

He took a deep breath, seeming to choose his words carefully. "It wasn't really an 'unforeseen' incident. It was more... a person. Someone kind of thought it best that I didn't go."

Y/N remained standing, staring at the man with curiosity mixed with a hint of concern. He looked uncomfortable, struggling with something he clearly didn't want to reveal.

"What?"

He sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. "Look, I didn't want to say anything because... well, this person asked me to keep quiet about it."

Y/N arched an eyebrow, tilting her head slightly for him to continue.

"...But I see you're worried and curious right now. So, I think you deserve to know."

And then he told her everything. The words came out hesitantly, but enough to paint a clear picture in Y/N's mind: someone had directly interfered. Confronting and intimidating.

As he spoke, Y/N felt a rising wave of anger. Her heart began to beat faster, her hands began to shake, and heat rose to her face. Her mind could barely process the details; all she knew was that someone had dared to interfere in her personal life, manipulating things behind her back.

When he finished speaking, Y/N stood still, the words echoing in her head. Her breathing was heavy, and her eyes began to fill with tears that she couldn't hold back.

They weren't tears of sadness, but of pure anger. Anger at having been treated like a pawn in a game, at having someone else decide for her.

"Y/N, calm down," He said, raising his hands as if to calm her down. "Don't do anything impulsive. Please. I don't want to cause problems between anyone."

She looked at him with the sharpest gaze he had ever seen. "You're asking me to stay calm? After telling me this? Seriously?"

He hesitated, but continued. "Look, I'm really sorry. But maybe it's best if you just let this go. And honestly, I'm sorry...but I don't think we can hang out anymore..."

Y/N shook her head, determined, her eyes shining with pent-up anger. "I'll settle this now." Ignoring the last sentence from the kind, sweet, gentlemanly man she was supposed to have dated last night.

Before he could say anything else, the paramedic turned on her heel and began walking away. He watched her walk away, knowing he couldn't stop her.

As Y/N marched toward the McLaren garage, her fury was palpable. Her footsteps were steady, almost heavy, echoing against the paddock floor. The stethoscope around her neck shook violently with every sudden movement. Her fists were clenched, and her shoulders were tense.

Adrenaline ran through his veins as his mind was fixed on the objective: finding the person responsible for this.

When she entered the McLaren garage, the usual bustle of mechanics and engineers seemed irrelevant. She searched with her eyes, ignoring everything around her.

His chest rose and fell rapidly, while anger still pulsed strongly.

"Where is he?" She muttered to herself, her eyes burning with determination. She was willing to go to any lengths to get the answers she needed.

One of the engineers saw Y/N standing in the middle of the garage looking for someone, and decided to help. "Hey, looking for one of the pilots? They must be in their respective rooms."

Her head turned toward the engineer, who was standing near Oscar's car. She smiled friendly and thanked him. "Thank you!"

She went back, walking through the hallways until she reached where Lando's room and Oscar's were in the garage, her mind boiling with the words and her veins ready to gush out her blood that ran violently because of the adrenaline.

Before Y/N could even reach Lando's bedroom door, it suddenly opened. There he was, casually walking out, the usual smile on his face as he saw her figure at the end of the hallway.

"Y/N! What a nice surprise to see you here." He began to say, with a soft tone and a sparkle in his eyes.

She walked toward him with purposeful, almost furious steps, the stethoscope swinging violently around her neck. Her eyes did not shine with joy, but with an anger that seemed ready to explode.

But he didn't notice, and instead, he continued talking. "I was just going to call you, sweetie, so we could go get some coffee.

And then, the instant they were face to face, the sound echoed through the hallway.

The slap was loud, strong and accurate.

Y/N's hand would definitely be drawn on Norris's cheek for at least a week.

Lando froze. His hand automatically went to his now burning cheek. He blinked a few times in shock, staring at her as if he had been struck by lightning.

Without thinking twice, she began to beat his chest with her closed fists, not caring about the looks that could appear at any moment in the hallway. Her anger overflowed in every word that came out of her mouth, loud, almost screaming.

Lando simply defended himself by putting his arms in front of him as a shield. And Oscar, who was in the front room, heard all the paramedic's screams. But he didn't dare to leave the room he was in.

"HOW DARE YOU? Who do you think you are, Lando Norris?" She shoved him lightly in the chest, but the force of adrenaline made the impact seem greater. "You think you can decide who I date or don't date? You think you have that right over me?"

Lando backed away one step at a time, his hands raised as if he were trying to calm her, but her words were like gunshots fired into his chest.

"YOU'RE AN IDIOT, Lando! A complete scoundrel!" Her words were laced with frustration, tears of anger streaming down her face, but she continued without hesitation. "You're worthless! NOTHING! Neither are the whores you date! And yet you want to stick your nose into my relationship?"

"Y/N, wait, please," he tried, but she interrupted him again, her voice firm and filled with an intensity he'd never seen in her before.

"I'm not one of your disposable girls, Lando. I'm not one of those people you can manipulate and play with as you please!" She shoved him again, harder this time, as he leaned against the hallway wall, speechless. "You think that just because we're best friends, you can control everything that happens in my life?" She asked. "AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I SHOULD CALL YOU THAT!"

When she raises her hand, Lando catches it in the air, clearly holding it lightly. And then, he pulls her into his room in the garage, locking the door and pulling her into his chest. Hugging her tightly.

Y/N began to cry more. The sobs made her chest shake violently.

He knew there were no words to justify what he had done, and the guilt seemed to weigh more heavily with each tear that ran down her face.

After a while, she pulled away abruptly, pushing him away with her hands as she took steps back, creating distance between them.

There was anger in her eyes, but also a glimpse of deep pain, something Lando never wanted to cause, but which was now written all over the face of the person he loved most.

"Do you think you can control my life, Lando?" She asked, her voice cracking as she hurriedly wiped her face, even as tears insisted on falling. "I know what you did yesterday. He told me everything. How you went after him, how you forced him to cancel the date... You manipulated him like he was a puppet! Why? Why would you do this to me?"

She paused, taking a deep breath to try to maintain her composure, but her emotions were running high. "You know what's worse, Lando? That you did this without even thinking about what I wanted, what I felt. You acted like you OWNED my life!"

Lando lowered his head, her words hitting him like blows. He knew he had done wrong, but what hurt more was seeing how hurt she was. The pilot finally looked up to meet her eyes, and although he wanted to deny it, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

"It's true," he confessed, his voice low and hoarse. "I did it."

Y/N shook her head in disbelief. She let out a sarcastic, bitter laugh as she crossed her arms. The stethoscope around her neck nearly fell to the floor.

"Of course you did. And why, Norris? What's your brilliant excuse this time?"

He took a step toward her, but stopped when he saw her gaze harden. Lando knew he couldn't run from this. Not anymore.

"Because I couldn't stand the thought of you with someone else," he began, his voice firm but thick with emotion. "I did it because... because I love you, Y/N. More than I should, more than a best friend should."

Her eyes widened, but the tears continued to fall, now at a slower pace. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Lando took advantage of the moment of silence to continue, approaching her slowly.

"I've tried to hide this for so long," he said, his voice shaking. "I tried to pretend that everything was okay, that we were just friends. But every time I saw you with another guy, every time you smiled at someone who wasn't me... it destroyed me. And yesterday, I just lost control. I knew I had no right to interfere, but I couldn't. Because the truth is, I can't see you with anyone, Y/N. I can't live with that idea."

She took a deep breath, trying to process what he was saying. But there was still anger mixed in with the tears. "So, to deal with your feelings, you decide to ruin my choices?" Y/N asked, her tone acidic.

Lando stepped closer, and this time she didn't flinch. He lifted his hands, cupping her face gently, as if he was afraid she might slip away.

"I know I messed up, Y/N. I know I was selfish. But everything I did... I did it because I love you. Because you're the only person I think about when I wake up, and the last person I think about before I go to sleep. And I know I dated other women, I tried to forget you, but none of it worked. They were never you."

"Uh huh, you love me." She laughs, making fun of his face. "You love me and how many other women?" Her tone was acidic, sarcastic and rude.

But Lando didn't let it get to his heart, instead he tucked a strand of her unruly hair behind her ear and smiled.

"You and however many daughters we have!"

That was the end. A new wave of tears invaded Y/N's face, but unlike the previous ones, these were of sadness, anguish and a little fear. The paramedic rests her head on his chest, without hugging or anything, just allowing the tears to fall.

Lando also had his own teardrops falling down his cheeks.

"I hate loving you!" Y/N finally confessed, her voice muffled. She lifted her head from Lando's chest, her eyes red and puffy, but still filled with the full intensity of her feelings. "You have no idea how hard it is, Lando," she began, her voice low, almost a whisper. "How much it hurts...to love you."

Lando remained silent, watching her every move, every word that came out as if it were a confession that had been forced out.

"I hate how vulnerable you make me feel," Y/N continued, wiping her tears with the back of her hands. "How you can make me happy and ruin my day at the same time. I hate every time I see you walking around the paddock with another woman, pretending you don't care when, in reality, you destroy me inside. I hate how every smile you give to someone who isn't me seems to steal a piece of me." The words came out fast, as if she was pouring out everything she had been holding in for years. "And the worst part of it all? I always come back. I always come back to you, even when I know I shouldn't. Even when I know this is all torture. Because, deep down, I love you. I always have...and I always will."

Lando tried to speak, but she held up her hand, stopping him. "Do you know what it's like to get this close, Lando? This close to someone you love and not be able to kiss them? Not be able to touch them? Not be able to be everything you want to be to them? It's bittersweet, it's frustrating, and yet... I've never been able to stop loving you."

She took a deep breath, the words sounding softer now, though still heavy with emotion. "But... I love you. As much as it hurts, as much as it is hard, as much as I hate it sometimes. I love you. And I hate it even more because, even after everything, you're still my favorite idiot."

Lando chuckled softly, even with tears still streaking his face. He reached out, holding her face tenderly as his thumbs wiped away the tears that were stubbornly falling.

"I promise I'll never hurt you like that again, Y/N. Never again. I just want to make you happy.

She let out a shaky laugh, shaking her head. “You’ve hurt me enough, Norris. Now it’s your turn to make up for it.”

He smiled, bringing his face closer slowly, unhurriedly, as if he was waiting for any sign from her to stop.

When she didn't pull away, he closed the distance, sealing his lips to hers in a kiss.

The kiss began hesitantly, as if they were both still getting used to the idea of finally being there, together, after so long holding unspoken feelings. Lando's lips met Y/N's with a softness that seemed to contradict the entire intensity of the moment, but soon the gesture gained strength and emotion.

He held her firmly, his hands still holding her face, his thumbs lightly caressing her cheeks, as if he wanted to convey everything he felt through that touch. Y/N, in turn, brought her hands to his chest, initially hesitantly, but soon slid them to his shoulders, pulling him closer, as if she needed to make sure he wouldn't leave.

The kiss was a mixture of relief and contained passion, an explosion of everything they had repressed for years. It was sweet and at the same time passionate, full of promises that didn't need to be said in words.

Y/N's heart was beating fast, as if it wanted to burst out of her chest, and she felt the same energy coming from Lando, as if he was also trying to convey all the love he couldn't express before.

When the two finally pulled away, just enough to breathe, Lando rested his forehead against hers, his eyes still closed, while a small but sincere smile formed on his lips.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this."

"I know, I was there!" Y/N opened her eyes, still panting, and replied softly, smiling slightly.

Y/N felt the comforting warmth of Lando's hands still on her face as he watched her with a mixture of tenderness and relief.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm the whirlwind of emotions that still took over her, but it was his voice that made her finally lose herself in the moment.

"I love you, Y/N!" He said, with a firmness that made her believe every word. "I've loved you for all these four years. Ever since the day I realized you were so much more than my best friend. I just didn't know how to deal with it... and I did everything wrong."

She bit her lip, feeling the tears burn again, but this time they were soft, like a release of everything she had bottled up inside.

"I love you, Lando," she finally said, her voice cracking. "I've loved you from the beginning. And it was so hard... so painful to see you so close, yet so far away. It hurt me more than you can imagine."

He nodded, squinting his eyes for a moment as if he was also holding himself back from crying more.

"I know. And I'm sorry for being so blind, for letting you go through this alone. But now..." He held her hands tightly, intertwining their fingers. "Now everything is clear. Finally. We don't need anyone else, Y/N. No failed dates, no other people in between... Just the two of us. You and me against the world."

A small, genuine smile formed on her lips, and she nodded, as if absorbing his every word.

"You and me against the world, huh?" Y/N repeated, her voice slightly playful but thick with emotion.

"That's right" he confirmed, leaning down to touch his forehead to hers. "I won't make any more mistakes. You're everything I've ever wanted, and now that we're here, I won't let anything or anyone come between us. And I'm not going anywhere without you, either."

She sighed, finally feeling the weight of the past few years begin to lift. "All I ever wanted was this, Lando. You. The two of us."

The pilot pulled her closer, enveloping her in a hug that felt as right as breathing. “So this is it. It’s you and me. Just the two of us,” he murmured, clutching her to his chest as if sealing a promise.

Y/N smiled against his chest, her heart finally at ease. "Just the two of us," she repeated softly, as if those words were a prayer that would bind them together forever. "And however many daughters we have in the future... According to you, a few minutes ago."

He chuckles, nodding and kissing the top of her head.

And there, in that moment, in the small room of the McLaren garage, with the distant sound of engines in the background, they finally found what they were looking for.

Each other. A new chance. A love that, even after four years of silence and pain, was strong enough to face anything. Just the two of them. Against the world.

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

Ludos Imperiales IIII

Summary: Princess!Reader tries to convince her mates to leave the Empire, but they have other ideas.

Content Warnings: Mentions of Slavery/Abuse

Part 1, 2, 3

-----------------

Anise is right; I do look like shit. No attempt at washing my face or fixing my hair or changing my clothes changes the sickly color that remains on my skin from the time spent with my head in the toilet. Secluding myself in the house these last couple months have already sapped the color from my cheeks, but today’s events have not helped bring any life back into my features. The dull, lifeless gray of my eyes, the limpness of my hair, the way my dress hangs limp off me… I do not recognize the face in the mirror.

“Anise?” She’s still pacing in my chambers, biting on her weathered thumbnail. Her anxiety makes the vines sprouting from her head grow, leaves and tiny, yellow flowers blossoming as the thick strands slither down her waist. 

“You shouldn’t see them alone,” she persists.

I brush a strand of hair over my yellowing cheek, then push it back behind my ear. I can explain away a bruise. Besides, it is not as if I can expect them to care enough about me to ask how it got there.

I sigh as I push the hair back in front of my face. I do not want to appear weak and frail, not in front of my mates. Not in front of anybody. I need to remain strong.

“Anise,” I try again, turning away from the mirror. There is nothing I can do to change it now, the damage is done and it’s too late in the evening to call for one of my lady’s-in-waiting to come help me fix it. “I need you to do something for me.”

“Get the guard? Yes, a splendid idea!”

I snag her arm as she goes for the door. “No, Anise.”

She huffs her irritation. “You’re being foolish, Little One.”

Probably; she won’t hear that from me though. “I need you to look into something for me and I need you not to tell a soul about it.”

She goes still at that, her emerald eyes widening in surprise. “What’s wrong?”

“I need you to see if there is passage out of the Empire and into the Wastes through the sea.”

Her bark-like features twist in surprise as I continue. “I need a passage my Father doesn’t know about, and I need it quickly.”

“What have you done?” She whispers. 

“Nothing. Not yet anyway.”

Anise fights her way out of my grip so she can take my face in her hands. “Now you listen to me, child! I have already lost your Mother, do not ask me to sit here and lose you too.”

“It’s not for me.”

Her eyes flick to the door and back. “Them?”

I nod.

“Why?”

“They’re dead men if I don’t,” I say, hoping the heaviness in my voice is enough to keep her from pressing further. I do not have it in me to admit what they are after what I’ve done, not even to her. Her loyalty was always to my Mother first, and I trust her more than anyone, but there are some secrets best kept close to the vest. Maybe she’d never tell anyone, but her mouth wanders sometimes, and if it were to slip… any number of the staff would sell me out to my Father in a heartbeat. I have to be careful. This is all I can tell her for now.

“I don’t like this,” she whispers. “You are entering a dangerous game. If your Father finds out…”

“Don’t let him find out,” I counter, pulling free of her grip. If I linger any longer, I will lose my nerve. I need to see them now.

My hands shake as I open the door. Moonlight spills into the hallway from the high, open windows on either side of me. I’d kept the heavy, silk curtains pushed against the far walls closed for months and months, refusing to accept that time was moving on without me. Anise had opened them this morning, when I’d announced I was finally ready to go out again. She’d hoped the fresh air would be good for me, truth be told, so had I. I didn’t expect so much to change in such a short time frame. 

There are guards on patrol outside the windows. A couple torches had been lit along the path through the gardens, bathing their armored heads and ridiculously large horse hair plumes in an orange glow. As a kid, I’d thought they were monsters when I’d see them in this light, stalking through the palace grounds; maybe I hadn’t been so far off.

Anise trails after me. “I will do it, but you will let me accompany you for this first.”

“No.” I should head out the side door and follow the footpath to the guest house, but I make a show of walking towards the kitchen instead. There is a servant’s passage through the cellar that will keep me out of sight. As far as the guards are concerned, I’m getting a snack in the kitchen with my maid. No one needs to know that I’m meeting the Illyrians. 

“Why are you…” she stops when we come to the kitchen. All the lights are off. The staff asleep earlier than usual so they can, undoubtedly, rise earlier in the morning in order to prepare bigger meals than they’re used to. They have to be in an uproar over the sheer amount of guards they’ll have to feed every day now. The House has not seen much attention in the last couple of months; I certainly wasn’t hosting any parties. 

“Is this a sex thing?”

I am grateful the dark hides the blush working its way up my neck and cheeks. “What!?”

“It’s not like you to sneak around, I’m just wondering if there’s something happening here between you and them?” She is the only other person that knows about the secret passages in the house. Mother had them built as a safety measure against intruders, and promptly found an excuse to execute the architect before he could show Father the plans. There are a number of false doors and hidden hallways throughout the house, a couple of secret exits and a panic room only accessible with a key I keep around my neck at all times. She was as paranoid as my Father, but at least hers had practical applications. And could now serve as a means to move around my house without arousing suspicion. 

“This most definitely is not a sex thing!” I hiss. 

I mean, yes, some sponsors do sleep with their champions. Hels, some sponsors sell their champions for a night of pleasure to the highest bidder. Amarantha and my cousins included. It was an abhorrent practice that I tried not to think about in the past, but the mere suggestion of it has me clenching my fists. Did she truly think I’d stoop to that?

“You’re being strange is all I’m saying,” she returns. 

“I don’t have time for this. If you’re going to insist on hovering, just make it look like we’re in here making a snack, will you?”

“Will you tell me why this is necessary?”

I pry the door that leads down to the cellar open slowly, conscious of how loudly it squeaks and trying to minimize the noise as best I can. “No.”

“Then I’m coming with!”

I slip behind the door and hold it nearly closed as she approaches. “Fine, we’ll talk when I get back. Happy?”

Even in the dark I can see her eyes narrow suspiciously. “Don’t get pregnant.”

“I’m not fucking them!” I hiss as I close the door. She’s impossible! Once she sets her mind on something, she just can’t let it go. At least she doesn’t try to follow me. 

There’s a slim set of stairs that leads down into the cellar lined with fae lights that flicker to life as I descend. Rows of dried meats and herbs hang from the rafters, casting eerie shadows over the shelf lined walls. The cellar is lined with rows of more shelves and barrels of wine, everything cataloged and arranged in alphabetical order. Our steward has always been exceptionally neat, and the concealed door in the backs sits connected to the wall where he keeps all his flour. I will have to remember to sweep the floor upon my return, just in case anything falls from the shelf and gives the door away. 

The door opens by turning one of the panels in the wood in a full circle, disturbing a sack of flour as it swings inward with a groan. The hallway is dark and dusty, a heavy layer of cobwebs disturbed by the door. I haven’t used this tunnel in years. 

I take one of the bobbing fae lights out of its perch on the stairs and carry it with me into the dark, making sure the door closes behind me, just in case any of the guards decide to come do a sweep of the place now that they’ve seen Anise in the kitchen. I can’t be sure of their orders, I have to assume that they will check on everyone in the house if there is the slightest deviation from the routine. Which also means I need to make this quick.

The silence of the tunnel is not good for my nerves, I find myself once again digging my knuckle into the knot in my chest. Without Anise to distract me, I’m once again consumed with the guilt of having to look at them after what I’d done. Not knowing why they’re asking to see me doesn’t help either. 

The tunnel slopes downward, filled with cobwebs and the occasional rat I startle back into holes in the walls. There’s some rain damage along the supports I should really have looked at, but updating these means having to tell someone about them, and that’s not an option. Not unless I wish for Father to find out about it, or worse, be forced into a situation where I have to consider killing an architect after rebuilding it as my Mother had done. There haven’t been any reasons for the tunnels since I was a child, I’ll avoid having to make any decisions on it until I absolutely have to. As long as the roof holds, I can make do.

Mother wanted to ensure that this place had multiple advantages, one of them being strategically placed and concealed vents for both air flow, and espionage. The vent hidden in the garden lets me hear the stomping of boots as the guards pass overhead. Some of them complain about the quiet as they pass each other, but it doesn’t sound like they’re yet suspicious of me moving around the house this late. 

I keep moving, comforted just a little by the fact that I don’t have to worry about dealing with them yet. 

The tunnel curves in a crescent shape to come around the back of the guest house, where there’s a door carefully hidden behind the lararium built for the Mother. The carefully carved statue of our beloved Goddess hides the door, and the altar serves as a deterrent to keep people from looking too close at the seams in the wall. It also hides the vent that lets me hear three, arguing voices, even in hushed tones:

“This is a bad idea, Rhys!” Cassian. 

“It is our only shot,” Rhysand shoots back. 

Their voices are so different: Cassian’s gruff and husky, Rhysand’s smooth and rich. Having them near soothes an anxiousness I didn’t know was inside me, I find myself drawn closer and closer to the door, just for a chance to listen to them speak. I’ve never had something as simple as a voice cause such an intense reaction before. All of this is so new and foreign; it will take some getting used to.

“I don’t care!” Cassian returns, the words sharp as a knife. “I don’t want anything to do with her.”

And just like that, my revelry is broken and that pesky knot in my chest returns. It is an effort to get a deep enough breath in, as if someone had sucker punched me right in the stomach. He really does hate me. It was one thing to think it, but it’s another to hear it so openly. I really have ruined this before it even had a chance to begin.

“She is our only chance,” Azriel chimes in, voice a hissed whisper. He sounds agitated, I can picture him pacing in front of the altar. 

“She’s his daughter! Am I the only one bothered by that?” Cassian protests. 

“That’s exactly why we need her,” Rhysand counters. 

Time slows to a crawl. Need me? Hope is a pesky, irritating, thing that I shove down inside me, even as my body moves to press itself against the door, waiting for them to continue. 

“We can’t trust her.”

“Yes we can,” Azriel retorts. 

I wonder if they can hear my heartbeat stuttering through the door--no matter that it’s waded so I can hear them and they can’t hear me, it’s so loud it still feels like a possibility. 

“What, because your shadows can smell that on her?” Cassian sneers. 

“Because I looked in her head,” Rhysand hisses, his voice rising. 

I know that I have a limited amount of time to do this, but I can’t bring myself to open the door, not with a confession like that. What does he mean he looked in my head?

“She’s terrified of him.”

“She could have fooled me. She didn’t look a bit terrified of branding us.”

“Because she didn’t brand us at all!” Rhysand snarls. “I did.”

“You hit your fucking head harder than I thought.”

“Asking for us to be spared threw Hybern off his game. Whatever plans he has for us got derailed because of her. And we need whatever edge we can get right now. When I slipped into her mind, she was panicking, she couldn’t do it and we would have all been fucked. I moved her hands around that iron, I touched it to your skin. Not her. She was so distraught over it I had to hold her upright the whole way back. Trust me, she liked it as much as you did.”

“But the collar…?” Cassian stammers.

“It dims a lot of my powers, but not all of them. I threw what I had out there. It only works when I’m close. Whatever she felt after we separated, whatever she’s doing now, I can’t get a feel.”

Rhysand was that invisible hand on me? I hadn’t just imagined it? How is that even possible? The twins are Daemati, but even they can’t reach into someone’s head and control them like that, especially with the gorsian chains in the way. At least, they’d never shown me they could. I suppose I’d never thought to ask.

“We have to act fast,” Azriel chimes in. “The quicker we get ahead of this, the more time we have to work around Hybern. Until now, he’s always been one step ahead of us. We’ve been playing his games on his terms. She… changes things.”

Does he know that we’re mates? Could that really mean something to him?

“Why are you so quick to trust her?” Cassian challenges. “Let's say what Rhys saw in her head is even real, because let's face it, she very well could be like the twins and been throwing those things up to see if you’d take the bait, but for the sake of the argument, sure they’re real. So what? What do you think she’s going to do here? Throw in her lot with us and help us overthrow her father?”

“Yes,” Rhysand says, as if it’s just that simple.

They can’t really be serious with this, can they?

“What could she possibly get out of it? She’s a spoiled princess who has not had to feel the effects of this Empire a day in her life! The best of this place has been handed to her and you think she’s just going to give that up to a couple of bastards like us?”

I dig my knuckle into my chest again, trying to ease the tension that feels like it’s trying to claw its way out of my skin. 

“You don’t get it,” Azriel hisses. 

“Explain it to me, Az!” Cassian shoots back. “Explain to me how the limited interaction we had convinced you that she’s a good person who would help us for the hell of it?”

“You don’t have to trust her, Cass,” Rhysand interjects. “That doesn’t change the fact that we need her.”

I take my lower lip between my teeth. I’m supposed to be saving them; I’m supposed to be getting them as far away from this place as possible and they want me to what? Overthrow my Father? It’s delusional. No one can outmaneuver him. Mother tried and failed. How many rebels has Amarantha executed? How many slaves have been carted from the far reaches, having been defeated for daring to oppose the Empire? Everyone that has ever gone up against him has lost and paid for it with their lives. I can’t let them do this. It’s suicide!

I get my hand on the hidden lock and turn. It’s my responsibility as a mate to save them from themselves. I have to put this foolish notion to bed. By tomorrow, Anise will have an answer about a way out of here. I just need them to stay put for the night and this mess will be over. 

I get the impression they are not males used to being taken by surprise, if the way they stand their gaping at me is any indication. Dark shadows wreath Azriel’s, still bare, shoulders, curling around his ears like they’re living things whispering in his ear. His scarred hands twitch over his hip, as if he’s reaching for a weapon instinctively, despite there being nothing there. 

Rhysand grins wolfishly as he leans a bruised shoulder against the doorframe, violet eyes once again roving over every inch of me. “Aren’t you full of surprises, Princess?”

“What if we had been indecent?” Cassian retorts.

“You’re barely dressed now,” I blurt before I can stop myself, though it is true. He’s stripped down to his boxers, using what was once a white towel, but it’s now brown, to clean up a gash across his thigh. Judging by the color of the bruising and the still forming scab, the wound is from before the arena. He needs to have it cleaned and looked at by a healer. I should be focusing on that. I should not be focusing on how large his thighs are, or imagining what it might feel like to sit in his lap.

Rhysand’s grin broadens like he can hear my thoughts, and then I remember that he can. 

Shit! I need to focus. I need to put my shields up, just like I do when I’m around the twins. Just because they’re my mates, doesn’t mean they’re incapable of using their abilities on me. Who’s to say, if Rhysand really is powerful enough to move me around like a puppet, even with the collar, that he won’t simply reach in and use me as he sees fit if I don’t cooperate. I don’t know anything about them. I have to be careful.

“We can strip down if you’d like?” He purrs.

“Did you make me come all this way just to harass me, or…?” I let the question hang there so I can give myself an extra second to reinforce my mental shields. 

“Sorry to pull you from your ivory tower,” Cassian snarls.

I instinctively take a step away from him, the venom behind each word enough to make me flinch despite myself. Azriel moves away from where he’s been sitting on the edge of the altar, effectively putting himself between us. “No, we didn’t.”

“Then what do you want?” My shields are in place, but I feel my confidence waning. I thought that this would be easy, that the bond would make everything click into place for us. They could trust me and I could trust them and this thing that tethered us together would put us at an even playing field. But it doesn’t. Our goals are off and I don’t know how to get them even, I don’t know how to get them to listen to me. 

“We want your help,” Rhysand says. 

“We need your help,” Azriel corrects.

I should just tell them that I heard them and skip all the repetitiveness, but there is a piece of me that worries I was naive before, and that they will tell me something different to my face. Maybe I’m the only one who feels the bond and they merely see me as something to be manipulated and used. I have to be sure.

“With what?” I ask.

“We want Hybern off the throne,” Rhysand explains. He hasn’t left his perch against the wall; though his gaze lingers on me, he gives me space that feels intentional. As if I’m a rabid dog he thinks might bite if it feels cornered. “We think you do too.”

“And why would you think that?” It is only from years of training that my voice doesn’t shake. How can they be so flippant about this? Saying those words out loud is enough to have their heads removed from their shoulders. The thought that any guard walking past might hear has me shaking, yet they don’t even flinch.

“He scares you,” Azriel says. His voice is already a low whisper, but it softens when he looks at me. A tendril of shadows slithers down his leg and across the floor, tentatively drifting across the pale tiles to come poke around at my ankles.

“He scares everybody and for good reason.” I need to keep my original goal in mind here. I’m here to get them out. They need to see the necessity of it. “Do you know how many people are dead because they underestimated him? No one is safe.”

“That’s why he needs to be stopped,” Rhysand presses.

Cassian folds his broad arms over his tattooed chest, frowning, but he doesn’t jump into the conversation. While Rhysand’s gaze is assessing, Cassian’s is cold, unyielding. He’s made up his mind about me. 

The fact that the others haven’t gives me more hope than I know I should have. They will have to leave anyway. I should hope they haven’t felt the bond, hope that it doesn’t convince them to stay. They need to be far, far away. But there is a small, desperate piece of me that clings to it anyway. 

“He can’t be stopped.” I bite back all the bitterness and rage that threatens to escape out of me and try to keep my tone even, unbothered. 

“You stopped him this afternoon,” Azriel counters as his shadow brushes up my calf like a phantom cat. They feel like a slight brush of breath against my skin, gentle and strange and I might giggle against the sensation if I wasn’t so focused on keeping my composure. 

I don’t kick it off either. A broken, desperate piece of me claws after the attention and blatant need for affection like a lifeline. 

“He listened to you,” Rhysand presses, doubling down when he sees me hesitate. Azriel isn’t wrong, though he’s not, technically right either. Still, he sees an opening and he swoops down like a vulture to take it. “No one else has that kind of influence.”

“It was a fluke,” I retort. “He was surprised. That won’t happen again.”

“It will if you keep surprising him,” Rhysand counters. “He has you, and everyone else, in a quaint little box, but if you deviate from the script he’s written for you, you can maneuver him where you want him.”

My hand goes instinctively to my bruised cheek, right as Azriel’s shadow comes slithering up my shoulder. It lets out a soft huffing sound as it follows my wrist to see what my fingers are doing. The shadow still curled around Azriel’s ear hisses softly, like the two are communicating. Maybe they are, given the way his eyes darken. 

“You cannot fight him.” I pull my hand away from my face a little faster than I mean to, and the shadow curls into my palm, inspecting the indents my fingernails had left earlier.  “You might as well quit while you’re ahead.”

“I wouldn’t call this being ahead,” Cassian huffs, turning his wrist to flash the brand I put there.

“I can find passage out of the Empire for you.” We’re going to run out of time if we keep standing here talking in circles. The guard will get curious eventually. They are bound to wonder why the lights are still on and no one is preparing for bed soon. “I should know by morning when it will be here.”

“If that’s true, why haven’t you taken it?” Cassian challenges.

Azriel takes a tentative step towards me. For someone so large, he’s surprisingly quiet on his feet. “I was terrified of my father too,” he says gently.

I can’t help but look at his hands. Had his father done that to him?

“I thought it was normal, how he treated me. I thought everyone was afraid of their father. I didn’t know any better until I got out. Until I met these two jackasses.”

Rhysand snorts a laugh behind him.

Cassian grumbles out a retort that sounds like it’s in another language. 

Azriel stops when he’s only a few inches away from me. I have to tilt my head back to look him in the eyes. “Sometimes you just need a little help. We can help each other, like you helped us earlier, right?”

I’ve lived around the ass kissing and political games of the palace long enough to know when someone’s trying to work an angle on me, and this isn’t one of those times. He means it. As hard to imagine that someone his size, someone who just took down a Giant and a bunch of Wargs, even with his wings broken, could be scared of anything, I believe him.

The bond warms, just a little. It’s nice, after years of feeling like no one could hear me when I whispered my complaints, to have a kinship with someone. I cling to that little shred of warmth like it’s a roaring fire amidst a blizzard. How long have I begged the Mother for even a shred of solace like this?

Perhaps that makes me weak. Perhaps I am a fool, but I want this. I want them. 

“A lot of good my help did,” it comes out in a whisper, like it’s dragging itself out of my throat. 

“But it does help,” Rhysand interjects. “Being your champions gives us an excuse to be close, and it gets us into places we couldn’t get before. You give us direct access to your father. That’s all we need.”

Azriel reaches out and brushes that loose strand of hair I’d pushed over my cheek behind my ear, scarred fingers brushing over my jaw with a feather light touch that is not unlike the one his shadow gives me. My whole body trembles all the same. 

“We won’t let anyone hurt you,” he promises.

I am entirely unprepared for that kind of promise. I’m supposed to be protecting them, not the other way around, but I’ve been on my own for awhile now, and I can’t help the way my body leans into that faint brush of his hand over my skin. Am I so starved for affection that even this feels like some grand gesture?

“We’re not asking you to do any fighting. You’re not challenging him.” Rhysand assures. “We merely need you to use these brands to your advantage. Drag us around with you. Show off the prize you’ve claimed like anyone else in the Empire would.”

My stomach twists. 

“Play the games the rest of the court plays, and we will do all the rest,” he assures. 

“I don’t understand how that helps you?” 

“For now, we need to observe his habits. There’s a parade tomorrow, right?”

Shit, I’d forgotten about that! 

“Yes.”

“Take us with you,” Rhysand explains. “Lots of people bring their champions out like bodyguards or trophies, right?”

“Or dogs,” Cassian hisses.

I wince. “Yes.”

“We don’t know much about the city. Just act like you’re showing us off so we can get a look around.”

He makes it sound so simple.

“And then what?”

He shrugs as he finally pushes off the wall. Though the touch had been brief, Azriel hasn’t moved out of my space, and seeing that it hasn’t sent me running, Rhysand takes this as a sign that he can move closer too. He’s just barely shorter than Azriel, and despite the fact that I inherited my Mother’s height, I cannot help but feel small next to them. I don’t think I entirely mind though.

 “Leave the strategies to us. The less you know what we’re doing and when, the safer you are. This is a long game, we have to take it one step at a time.”

“I don’t think you realize how dangerous playing this game with my Father is,” I warn. If anything were to happen to them because I didn’t insist on getting them on that ship in the morning, I’d never forgive myself!

He grins, flecks of starlight glinting in his eyes. He really is the most beautiful male I’ve ever seen, even with all the grime and blood on him. Which reminds me, they still haven’t seen the healer. Ember will never let me hear the end of it; I’m surprised she didn’t come with Anise to bust down my door. 

 “Let us do the worrying, Princess.” He’s very confident for someone who had just been thrown into a pit and been forced to fight a bunch of monsters. I hate to admit it, but that confidence worms its way through the bond like a rat chewing through a wall. No matter how hard I try to fight it back, a bit of it hits me anyway. Even without his presence inside my head, I feel safer when he’s near. 

My gaze flicks from him to Azriel for confirmation that this is something they have both agreed on, and he nods reassuringly. 

“You really think you can win?” I ask.

“Darling, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my people,” Rhysand vows. “Whatever it takes to see them free, I will do it.”

So much for me finding a way to get them out of here, they’re pretty determined to stay, influence from the mating bond or not. On one hand, if I do this, I can keep an eye on them; maybe I can find ways to rig another Game, can make sure they have everything they need to survive. On the other hand, this is crazy! We’re talking about taking on Hybern. Take him being my Father out of the question, no one has ever won anything against him, he’s always two steps ahead, always sees the outcome before it happens. 

I take my lower lip between my teeth again. I’m going to need a dark shade of lipstick in the morning to hide all the teeth marks I’ve undoubtedly left in it today. 

“Let’s say I agree, but only on a trial basis,” I begin, trying and failing to organize all my thoughts. The bond pulls me one way and rationale pulls me the other. I cannot find a happy middle ground. “If tomorrow goes poorly, will you get on the boat and leave the Empire behind?”

“Happily,” Cassian huffs.

Rhysand shrugs, “Ask me again tomorrow.”

I have a sinking feeling it’ll be the same answer tomorrow, but I’ll take whatever I can get, as long as it means there’s a shot at keeping them alive.

----------------

Tag List: @sirenpearldust, @saltedcoffeescotch, @littlemissfix-itfic, @waka-babe , @raisam

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Thank you all for the comments and messages! As always, let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag List =)

[moody-alcoholic]

Cross My Heart

Part 2 - Trust is a Two Way Street

Summary: eventual poly141 x reader. Enemies to lovers, mini fic.

CW: Mentions of war, mentions of death, descriptions of wounds, medical stuff, medical inaccuracies.

Previous parts - masterlist - next AO3

Enjoy <3

The barrel is cold on your skin, you’re holding your breath, his finger is on the trigger. 

“Explain yourself.” A deep voice asks. You swallow hard trying to keep as still as possible.

“I’m a smuggler. I work for whoever pays. The people you killed, I was supposed to get them to Al Qatala. Konni pays me to smuggle people or weapons over the border. It’s easy to use ULF safehouses up here as a stop off point.” 

“You Russian?” The man with the mohawk asks. 

“Does it matter?” You almost spit back at him. 

“What about Al Qatala or ULF you done jobs for them too?” 

“If they pay, yeah. You’d be surprised  how desperate people can get.”  

“Gaz, stand down. She’s not a threat.” You see a hand land on his shoulder. You swallow again, looking up at him, his eyes are scrunched together, there’s real anger behind them. The gun moves from your head, you let out a sigh of relief, sitting back on your legs, you lower your hands slowly.

“What do Al Qatala pay you to smuggle?” Ghost asks. 

“I don’t ask. The less I know the less I’m a liability. I’m good at what I do, that's all that matters.” The man with the mohawk scoffs. Gaz moves back to stand with him. 

“You don’t even get a little curious?” Gaz asks, putting his pistol away. You sigh rolling your eyes, almost like it’s an inconvenience.

“POW’s, chemicals. High ranking members of Al Qatala, mostly for meetings with Konni, sometimes with Makarov himself.”

“What about the ULF?” 

“General supplies, the odd civilians, favors for Farah. It’s harder to cross the other borders. Russia is easy.” 

“So you’re not a medic. Can you even help him?” Ghost asks. You turn to look at him, you can’t tell if colour has come back to his face or not. 

“My mother was a nurse, my father was a doctor. I was on track to go to med school too.” You say, you’re not sure what’s going to happen now. You probably know as much as they do, they’ve most likely been trained on such situations. 

“Where are your parents now?” Gaz asks.

“Dead, killed in the conflict. Like almost everyone I know.” There’s sadness in your voice, you try to hide it. 

“You didn’t pick a side?” Ghost asks. 

“I did, in the beginning. Farah’s message was a popular one. It was the ULF who came to our aid when our town was attacked.” You pause looking round at them all. “It was the ULF who carpet bombed the hospital killing my father. A week later my mother was killed by Al Qatala when they raided a ULF base.” 

“I’m sorry, about your parents.” The mohawk man says, Gaz tuts. 

“Why become a smuggler?” 

“It was by chance. I managed to gather enough money to flee, and pay someone to get me over the border. We got talking, he offered me a job instead.” 

“Where is he now?”

“Probably dead.” You say as a matter of fact. You haven’t seen him in over a year. In the beginning he was like your mentor, teaching you the best routs how to use ULF and Al Qatala safehouses. Who to mention to get people to leave you alone. He vouched for you, got you jobs then when you were ready he just left. 

No one is saying anything. You move to stand up. 

“Your friend’s gunshot is not a through and through, that means the bullet is still in there. Pulling it out could kill him, I don’t have the equipment to check where it is or if he has any other injured organs. He needs a hospital.” You say urgently. 

“CASEVAC?” Gaz says.

“Not from here.” Ghost replies. There’s silence again. You squeeze your eyes closed sighing.

“There’s an abandoned vets in the next town, east of here. It will have the equipment I need to check him.” They could think you’re lying. They’re exchanging glances, you can almost see them thinking. It seems like Ghost is the one incharge, he shifts on his feet. 

“Okay.” 

“What about Farah?” Your head snaps over to the mohawk man, you need to get his name at some point, and figure out where his accent is from, he doesn’t sound like the other two.

“Nothing but radio silence.” Ghost replies. 

“How did you end up here?” You ask before you can stop yourself. You’ve been honest with them, maybe they’ll be honest with you.

“That's classified.” Ghost snaps, you nod. You expected that. 

“I heard Farah’s forces are moving north. We’re close to the Russian border. Maybe it’s best you wait?” You say offering up the only info you have on ULF’s movements.

“How do you know that?” Ghost asks. 

“I was warned they were on the move when I picked up this job.” You say. 

“By Konni?” Gaz asks, you nod. You hear Ghost sigh then mutter under his breath. 

“In your opinion, how bad is he?” Ghost asks, taking another step towards you, you hold your ground. 

“I don’t know. Moving him is risky, but there is no way to tell if the bullet is doing any damage internally. I couldn’t say without scans. There’s probably an x-ray at the vets.” You explain. “It’s 50/50 either way.” 

“And you know how to use one?” The mohawk guy asks, raising en eyebrow. 

“I-I could figure it out, I spent one summer shadowing a radiologist.” You explain. It’s a long shot, but right now it's about keeping yourself alive. As long as you’re useful you’re safe.

There are collective sighs around the room, glaces and nods of heads. Ghost lowers his weapon taking another step towards you. He opens his mouth about to speak when a groan from behind you stops him. 

You turn to see the man on the couch trying to sit himself up. Gaz rushes past you and you take a step back giving him room. 

“Price, don’t move. You’re okay.” He says. Price so that's the name of the man on the sofa. His eyes blink open and he looks around, you can feel Ghost behind you, the barrel of his weapon digging into your back. 

A gentle reminder they don’t trust you.

“Where are we?” Price groans, it’s barely words, you almost miss what he says.

“Urzikstan, ULF safehouse just across the border.” Gaz explains. They came from Russia, what were they doing in Russia?

“Shit, what happened?” Gaz is keeping him pressed down, his hand stroking his arm. 

“Convoy was ambushed, we had no choice.” 

“Alex?” Price asks.

“MIA, we lost track of him when you got shot. I made the order to fall back.” Ghost says but you can hear the strain in his voice. 

“Shit.” 

“It’s okay cap, we’ll find him.” So there are more people with them. Someone called Alex, and they’re missing. They had a convoy, most likely for the ULF. 

“Who’s she?” Price asks his gaze landing on you. You smile at him. 

“That’s a long story.” Gaz says.

next Banners by plum98

[english-history-trip]

[Merlyn] was dressed in a flowing gown with fur tippets which had the signs of the zodiac embroidered over it, with various cabalistic signs, such as triangles with eyes in them, queer crosses, leaves of trees, bones of birds and animals, and a planetarium whose stars shone like bits of looking-glass with the sun on them.

....

There was a real corkindrill hanging from the rafters, very life-like and horrible with glass eyes and scaly tail stretched out behind it. When its master came into the room it winked one eye in salutation, although it was stuffed. There were thousands of brown books in leather bindings, some chained to the book-shelves and others propped against each other as if they had had too much to drink and did not really trust themselves. These gave out a smell of must and solid brownness which was most secure.

Then there were stuffed birds, popinjays, and maggot-pies and kingfishers, and peacocks with all their feathers but two, and tiny birds like beetles, and a reputed phoenix which smelt of incense and cinnamon. It could not have been a real phoenix, because there is only one of these at a time. Over by the mantelpiece there was a fox's mask, with GRAFTON, BUCKINGHAM TO DAVENTRY, 2 HRS 20 MINS written under it, and also a forty-pound salmon with AWE, 43 MIN., BULLDOG written under it, and a very life-like basilisk with CROWHURST OTTER HOUNDS in Roman print.

There were several boars' tusks and the claws of tigers and libbards mounted in symmetrical patterns, and a big head of Ovis Poli, six live grass snakes in a kind of aquarium, some nests of the solitary wasp nicely set up in a glass cylinder, an ordinary beehive whose inhabitants went in and out of the window unmolested, two young hedgehogs in cotton wool, a pair of badgers which immediately began to cry Yik-Yik-Yik-Yik in loud voices as soon as the magician appeared, twenty boxes which contained stick caterpillars and sixths of the puss-moth, and even an oleander that was worth sixpence—all feeding on the appropriate leaves—a guncase with all sorts of weapons which would not be invented for half a thousand years, a rod-box ditto, a chest of drawers full of salmon flies which had been tied by Merlyn himself, another chest whose drawers were labelled Mandragora, Mandrake, Old Man's Beard, etc., a bunch of turkey feathers and goose-quills for making pens, an astrolabe, twelve pairs of boots, a dozen purse-nets, three dozen rabbit wires, twelve corkscrews, some ants' nests between two glass plates, ink-bottles of every possible colour from red to violet, darning-needles, a gold medal for being the best scholar at Winchester, four or five recorders, a nest of field mice all alive-o, two skulls, plenty of cut glass, Venetian glass, Bristol glass and a bottle of Mastic varnish, some satsuma china and some cloisonné, the fourteenth edition of the Encyclopaedia Britannica (marred as it was by the sensationalism of the popular plates), two paint-boxes (one oil, one water-colour), three globes of the known geographical world, a few fossils, the stuffed head of a cameleopard, six pismires, some glass retorts with cauldrons, bunsen burners, etc., and a complete set of cigarette cards depicting wild fowl by Peter Scott.

Art by Alan Lee for The Sword in the Stone by TH White (1977)

[wendichester]

Hii sweetheart ✨🥺 I wanna request Dean with a fem!reader who can communicate and sense ghosts and other spiritual beings. And she was in an abusive relationship so she prefers spiritual beings over humans, because of that relationship.

°⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ghost whisperer,

summary. not all humans are bad, but ghosts are still your comfort.

pairing. dean winchester x whisperer!reader

wordcount. 675

notes. thank you so much for requesting, hun. hope you like it ehe 🩷

The old Victorian house is dark and silent, the air thick with a chill that has nothing to do with the weather outside. Dean moves ahead, flashlight in one hand, shotgun in the other, while you linger near the entryway.

“Anything?” Dean asks, his voice low but steady.

You close your eyes, letting the cold prickle against your skin as you open yourself up. It doesn’t take long. A faint whisper brushes past your ear, followed by the soft sound of a child’s laughter echoing through the hallway.

“They’re here,” you murmur, your voice soft. “Two of them. A little boy and his mother. They’re not malicious, just... lost.”

Dean glances back at you, his sharp green eyes softening for a moment. “You sure about that?”

You nod, stepping closer to him. “They’re scared. Confused. Probably didn’t even realize they were gone.”

Dean watches as you move toward the staircase, your movements confident and purposeful. He knows this is your element. You’ve always been more comfortable with the spirits than with the living.

He follows you up the creaking stairs, his grip tightening on the shotgun. “You know, most people would be freaked out by the idea of talking to ghosts.”

You shrug, glancing back at him with a faint smile. “Most people haven’t been hurt by humans the way I have.”

Dean stops in his tracks, his jaw tightening. You didn’t say it to provoke a reaction—it’s just the truth. But he hates hearing it, hates knowing that someone out there hurt you so badly that you now find solace in the company of the dead.

“I get it,” he says quietly, his voice softer than you’ve ever heard it.

You pause at the top of the stairs, turning to look at him. “Do you?”

He nods, his expression unreadable. “I’ve seen a lot of bad in people. Hell, I’ve been some of that bad. So, yeah. I get it.”

Something in his tone makes your chest tighten. You want to respond, but a faint tug at your senses pulls your focus.

“They’re upstairs,” you say, turning toward the end of the hallway.

Dean follows without another word, his presence steady and grounding behind you.

When you reach the room, the air grows colder. The boy is sitting by the window, his translucent form barely visible in the moonlight. His mother stands protectively behind him, her gaze wary but not unkind.

“Hey,” you whisper, crouching down to their level. “It’s okay. We’re here to help.”

The boy looks at you with wide eyes, and for a moment, it feels like the three of you are the only ones in the world. Dean stands silently behind you, watching as you coax the spirits into letting go, your voice calm and soothing.

When they finally disappear in a shimmer of light, you exhale, leaning back against the wall.

“You’re amazing at that,” Dean says after a moment, his voice filled with genuine admiration.

You glance up at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. “It's not a big deal.”

Dean steps closer, crouching in front of you so you’re at eye level. “Maybe. But you’re still here. Still trying, even after everything. That’s what makes you amazing.”

The vulnerability in his voice catches you off guard. “Dean…”

He shakes his head, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from your face. “I mean it. You don’t have to trust people. You don’t even have to trust me. But I’m not going anywhere. I’m sticking around, no matter what.”

His words settle in your chest, warm and unfamiliar. You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Thanks.”

He smiles, standing and holding out a hand to help you up. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I think we’ve done enough ghost whispering for one night.”

You take his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. And as you walk out of the house together, you can’t help but think that if you're ever trusting another person again, Dean would be the right one.

want be part of the taglist.ᐣ ⋆.˚ ★— @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing ⋆ @deans-daydream ⋆ @ariasong11 ⋆ @ambiguous-avery ⋆ @krabog ⋆ @itsdearapril ⋆ @nymphet-quenn ⋆ @bluemerakis ⋆ @titsout4jackles ⋆ @lyarr24 ⋆ @hauntedrose555 ⋆ @chevroletdean ⋆ @dulcescorderitas ⋆ @blackmarketfruitrollups ⋆ @impala67rollingthroughtown ⋆ @rulesareshadesofgrey ⋆ @nervoussystemss ⋆ @daryls-luvrr ⋆ @defnot-svnshine

[notenoughdragons]

okay so i actually wrote something for this bc the idea possessed me, please enjoy everyone :3

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The ruin’s… well, ruined. Half a cave, perhaps an underground temple, but the walls on the surface are mostly rubble. Still, beside the entrance looms a statue of a wolf, overgrown with moss and lichens and ivy, yet otherwise whole.

Solas sucks in a quiet breath. Saar gives him a look.

“You all right?” she asks quietly. Felassan is already climbing onto the statue’s back, egged on by Sera.

“I—yes. Of course.”

Saar watches him a moment longer, then pats his back. “All right. Tell me if that changes, will you?”

“Saar!” Sera yells. “Look! Does Fenny wanna play fetch?”

She’s holding up a big stick, pretending to throw it for the statue. Saar snorts out a giggle. Felassan, meanwhile, stands on the statue’s back and is resting his elbows on the wolf’s head, watching all of them.

“What is this, the tenth statue like this?” Saar muses as she approaches. “Someone either really wanted to make sure the Dread Wolf stays out, or they actually liked him.” She reaches out to pet the wolf’s snout. Felassan’s eyes follow the motion like wisp lights.

“There are stories of Fen’Harel where he—” he begins.

“Legends born from nothing but superstition, I'd wager,” Solas interrupts flatly from behind Saar.

Saar keeps her hand on the stone. Lets her magic seep through her skin. And from deep within the carved rock, a whisper responds…

“This isn’t superstition,” she says. “I think—someone tried to protect this place? There are, were wards woven into this. But they set them into a statue of Fen’Harel, like he’s… I don’t know, the guardian of this place?”

Felassan rests his cheek on one hand, eyes still lilac-bright. His gaze drifts somewhere past Saar.

“I wonder what he’d think of that,” he says. “Of you, calling him a guardian, I mean.”

“Well, I know what Keeper Deshanna would call me for it, and it’s a reckless fool.” Saar chuckles. “But she called me that for plenty of other reasons too.” Absently, she pats the wolf’s flank as she goes past it to the entrance of the underground area. “Let’s see what he’s protecting, huh?”

“Thank Andraste’s knickers and tits and ass,” Sera groans. “I thought you were gonna have another hour-long yapping about old elf shit.”

Saar grins. “Oh, I can do both, trust me.”

Halfway down the stairs, she turns around to see where in the blights Solas and Felassan have gotten to because neither of them made so much as a peep. They’re still standing before the entrance, staring at each other. Felassan’s leaning against the wolf statue’s chest, arms crossed, radiating belligerence. Solas’ knuckles are pale where they wrap around his staff, his spine a stiff line. Saar half expects them to start screaming at each other and is about to haul them down the stairs…

“Oi! You two’re gonna get grown over if you keep loiterin’ like that!”

Like a spell releasing, they relax, and turn to follow.

That’s gonna explode at some point, Saar is pretty sure. But for now, they’ve got a ruin to explore.

Solas had to kill Felassan because Felassan would have heard that a man named Solas joined the Inquisition and signed up immediately just to follow the Inquisitor around and be like “you know this reminds me of a Dalish legend about Fen’Harel stop me if you’ve heard this one before have I told you about the time Andruil almost tricked him into being her lover for a year” while Solas sweats bullets in the background knowing he can’t interrupt or stop him without looking suspicious as hell

[thebarneschronicles]

Closer To Home (Part 2)

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Synopsis: Somewhere between stolen glances, late-night conversations, and the careful way he protects your space, Bucky Barnes has quietly claimed a part of your heart. His brooding silence gives way to tender moments in the warmth of your apartment on a snowy night, where shared vulnerabilities reveal the man behind the soldier. Slowly, you navigate the spaces between his old-fashioned values and your modern perspective, learning each other one touch, one laugh, and one unspoken promise at a time. As trust deepens and emotions stir, the fragile connection you’ve built feels both delicate and undeniable—something neither of you is ready to let slip away.

Word Count: 12.4k

A/N: Took me long enough and 3 different tries, but here it is - part 2 of 'Closer to Home'. These babies have been my favourite to write and I truly hope you guys enjoy reading them. Let me know if there's anything else from their growing relationship you might want to see... I might have a few tricks up my sleeve as well. B xx

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your knock on the office door echoes in the quiet space, instantly drawing both Sam’s and Bucky’s heads toward you. Sam is leaning against the edge of the desk, his arms crossed over his chest, but it’s Bucky’s steel-blue gaze that settles on you, pinning you in place. His expression is guarded as always, though the faintest flicker of curiosity softens the edges.

Across the room, Bucky sits hunched over a stack of papers—your papers. They contain the latest intel on a Hydra facility buried somewhere in the European countryside. You know every word, every detail in those documents because you wrote them. You also know the information will keep him tethered to the desk for far longer than he deserves. A twist of guilt knots in your chest, but you push it down as you step inside.

“You guys hate me yet?” Your attempt at humor comes out tentative, your eyes flicking between Sam and Bucky.

“We might,” Sam quips, his shoulders rising and falling in a mock shrug.

“Will coffee make you hate me less?” You bite your bottom lip, stepping further into the room. In your hands, two mugs of freshly poured coffee send thin streams of steam curling upward. You extend them as if they’re offerings of penance.

Sam’s grin widens, but your focus is on Bucky.

He doesn’t say anything at first, but his lips twitch in amusement. You’ve come to recognize this look ever since that night at your apartment—the night everything shifted between you. He’s still Bucky: quiet, brooding, and wrapped in layers of steel, but you’ve managed to find a way through. A small, vulnerable crack he seems to leave open just for you.

“Wilson,” you say, stepping toward Sam and setting the mug down in front of him.

“Thanks, agent,” Sam teases, the title rolling off his tongue with exaggerated weight.

You shake your head but let out a soft laugh. Then, heart thumping just a little harder, you turn toward Bucky. His gaze hasn’t left you, and the air between you suddenly feels heavier.

Taking a steadying breath, you move closer and place the second mug on the table in front of him. You lean in slightly, cheeks warming under his steady gaze. “Mr. Barnes,” you say softly, your voice carrying a hint of teasing formality.

Bucky’s lips curve into a barely-there smile, but it reaches his eyes. “Thanks, doll,” he murmurs, his voice low and rough like gravel, but there’s a warmth in it that makes your chest tighten.

Sam clears his throat dramatically, leaning back in his chair with a playful smirk. “Mr. Barnes?” he teases, his tone dripping with mock offense. “What am I? Chopped liver?”

You roll your eyes but resist the urge to exchange a look with Bucky. Neither of you had told anyone what had happened between you—not even Sam, who seemed to live for knowing everyone’s business. Quite frankly, you weren’t even sure Bucky wanted to acknowledge it outside the safe confines of your apartment.

That apartment had become your sanctuary. The kisses, the quiet conversations that stretched long into the night, and the comforting weight of his hand on yours had transformed the last six weeks into something you couldn’t quite define but didn’t dare let go of.

He’d been at your place in some capacity every day since that night. At first, it was under the guise of walking you home. Then, he’d talked you into getting on the back of his bike, wrapping your arms around his waist as he drove you to your doorstep. From there, it grew into more.

He’d brought you coffee and bagels in the mornings, like the good Brooklyn boy he is, sometimes adding a slightly awkward compliment about how you "looked nice today". He’d introduced you to his favorite diner, ordering for you with an easy confidence that made your chest ache with affection. He even showed up one Sunday night with pizza, claiming it was your turn to suffer through a baseball game with him because he couldn’t sleep.

And when the nightmares were too much, and he’d knocked on your door at an ungodly hour, you’d let him in without hesitation. You’d made tea, or sat in comfortable silence, or talked until dawn. Whatever he needed.

It was good. It was comfortable.

It was fragile and new, yes, but it was special in a way you didn’t want to jeopardize. You’d let Bucky lead the way, trusting him to set the pace even when your insecurities gnawed at the edges of your resolve.

Sometimes it was hard not to second-guess yourself, though. The difference in your ages—or as Bucky had once awkwardly phrased it, “your … modern way of thinking”—lingered in the back of your mind. You worried over every good morning text you sent him after that first kiss, wondering if it felt too forward or too casual for someone from his time.

But it wasn’t just that. It was the way his past and his present seemed to clash. Bucky was a man out of time, still anchored to the rules and habits ingrained in him from decades ago. You saw it in the way he always brought something with him—flowers, a bottle of wine, even a book he thought you might like. You felt it in the way his touches stayed respectful and measured, his hand resting on the small of your back or brushing lightly against yours but never lingering too long.

You admired it, even loved it in a way, but it left you unsure of how far you could go—what you could ask for without overstepping some invisible boundary he might not have fully explained.

Would he think you were too bold if you asked him to stay the night? Would he be scandalized if you finally tried to take things further after weeks of holding back?

The doubts circled in your mind, but you said nothing, afraid of shattering the delicate balance you had built together. Instead, you let the moment linger.

Your silence stretched too long, and Bucky remained still, seemingly content to let you stand there, which only made Sam groan dramatically. He let out an exaggerated sigh, throwing his hands up in mock exasperation. “Alright, fine, ignore me. What’s this about?” He gestured to the coffee mugs.

“Just a peace offering,” you said with a casual shrug, though the heat rising in your cheeks betrayed your nerves. You were hyper-aware of your position, standing close to Bucky’s chair, his knee lightly pressing into your thigh as he shifted. “...in the hopes you’ll give me a moment with Bucky?”

Sam’s eyes narrowed with suspicion as his voice boomed, filling the room. “Oh no. No, no, no.” He shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. “If I’m stuck here till all hours working on this Hydra mess, cyborg brain isn’t moving an inch.”

“But Sam—”

“Nope!” He cut you off, raising a hand as if to physically block the idea. “I’m not doing all this alone while you two sneak off for… whatever.” His grin turned mischievous, and his eyebrows waggled. “Unless you’re finally ready to spill whatever is going on between you two?”

You stiffened, and Bucky’s knee shifted ever so slightly against you. You couldn’t tell if the movement was meant to calm you or if it was his subtle way of tensing.

“Wilson.” Bucky’s voice was calm but firm, cutting through the air like a blade.

Sam rolled his eyes, clearly unbothered by the warning tone. “Oh, come on. You’ve got this poor girl standing there looking all guilty, and you’re just sitting there like a statue. This is practically torture for me. Torture, Barnes.”

You couldn’t help the nervous laugh that escaped your lips. “Sam, please,” you tried again, your voice pleading this time.

Sam looked between the two of you, his smirk softening just enough to make it clear he wasn’t entirely unreasonable. “Fine,” he relented with a dramatic sigh, pushing himself away from the desk. “You’ve got ten minutes. But if I’m still stuck here after that, Barnes, you owe me big time.”

“Noted,” Bucky replied evenly, though his tone held a hint of relief.

Sam grabbed his mug and sauntered toward the door, turning back just as he opened it. “Ten minutes. And no funny business.”

You opened your mouth to reply, but Sam was already gone, leaving you alone with Bucky.

The silence that followed was heavier than you expected. You glanced down at him, and he looked up at you, his expression unreadable but his eyes softer than you’d ever seen them.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Bucky said finally, his voice low, almost hesitant. "You could've just said you need to talk to me."

You shrugged, forcing a smile. “Maybe I just wanted an excuse to see you. Just us two.”

That made him smile—just a little, but enough to make your heart flutter.

“Thanks for the coffee,” he said, lifting the mug and taking a slow sip.

You shifted on your feet, nerves bubbling in your chest. “Bucky…” you started, unsure how to approach the growing weight of what you wanted to say.

His gaze never left yours, and after a moment, he set the mug down carefully, leaning back in his chair. “You’ve got something on your mind,” he said, his voice steady. “What is it?”

Your heart pounded as you considered your next words. “I just… I wanted to ask if…” You hesitated, biting your lip before taking a deep breath. “If maybe you’d want to stay tonight? At my place?”

The words were out before you could second-guess them, and your stomach twisted as the silence stretched between you.

Bucky blinked, his expression unreadable for a moment, which sent you spiraling into a rambling mess. “It's supposed to be a snowstorm tonight, and I’ve stocked up on everything. I’ve got food, beer, and… I even bought that whisky you like.”

His lips twitched, just barely, but he started to shake his head. “I wouldn’t want to impose—”

His words were soft, hesitant, and his flesh hand reached out instinctively, brushing against yours. Without thinking, you twisted your fingers into his, holding on.

“You wouldn’t be imposing,” you said quickly, the heat rushing to your cheeks. “I want you to. Come over, I mean. You never impose.” Your voice softened, your eyes searching his. “And it’d make me feel better knowing you’re somewhere warm instead of that cold, empty apartment of yours.”

For a moment, he just looked at you, his steel-blue eyes scanning your face like he was trying to make sense of your words. His hand tightened slightly around yours, the warmth of his palm grounding you.

“You sure about this?” he asked, his voice quieter now, laced with something you couldn’t quite place—hope, maybe, or caution. You both understood what an evening alone might lead to, yet neither of you was certain of how the other felt about it.

“I’m sure,” you said firmly, a small, nervous smile tugging at your lips. “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t.”

His gaze lingered on you, and then, slowly, his shoulders relaxed. The faintest smile curved his lips as he nodded. “Alright,” he said, his voice as steady as the snowfall outside. “If you’re sure, then… yeah. I’ll come over.”

The relief that washed over you was immediate, and your grip on his hand tightened briefly before you let go, your fingers brushing against his in a lingering motion.

“Should we go?” you asked, your stomach doing flips as Bucky pushed up from his chair. He stood tall, his presence magnetic as he stepped into your space. His arm sliding around your waist, pulling you closer.

“Before Sam comes back—”

“Time’s up, lovebirds,” Sam’s voice rings out from the doorway, cutting through the moment like a blade.

Your head snapped toward him, heat rising rapidly from your chest to your face as you caught Sam’s amused expression. He’s leaning casually against the doorframe, one brow raised in playful judgment.

“It’s not—” you start quickly, your hand pressing against Bucky’s firm chest in an attempt to put some distance between you. But Bucky doesn’t budge; he’s an immovable wall, steady and unrelenting. His arm tightens slightly around your waist, anchoring you to him.

“Not what you think, Sam,” you say, your voice tinged with panic as the words rush out.

“Sure it’s not.” Sam’s grin widens, his eyebrow quirking higher. “Should I just ignore the fact that there’s an entire vibe happening here?”

You groan audibly, closing your eyes in mortification as you drop your forehead against Bucky’s chest. The warmth of his body and the steady rhythm of his breathing do little to ease your embarrassment, yet the circle of his arms feels undeniably safe, comfortable, and intimate in a way you hadn't experienced before.

“Wilson,” Bucky warns, his tone sharp and commanding. The sound rumbles through his chest, and you don’t need to look to know he’s glaring daggers at Sam.

Sam raises his hands in mock surrender, his grin never faltering. “Just saying, man. You two are about as subtle as a brick wall.”

Your cheeks burn hotter, and you busy yourself with straightening the papers on the desk, refusing to meet Sam’s knowing gaze.

Bucky sighs, the sound low and exasperated, his fingers curling around your waist in a protective way, maybe even possessive. You can feel the tension in his body, the subtle shift as he tries to rein in his own frustration.

“So,” Sam drawls, clearly enjoying every second of this, “are you telling me what’s going on, or should I just assume the worst?”

Your head jerks up, incredulous. “The worst?”

Sam crosses his arms, his smirk widening further. “Yeah. Like, I don’t know… that cyborg brain over there took advantage of this poor girl. That you swooped in here all broody and mysterious, and now she’s trapped under your metal arm spell or whatever.”

You can feel your face flush, your stomach twisting in discomfort. You groan loudly, throwing your head back in disbelief. Your fingers tighten in the fabric of Bucky’s jacket as you prepare a scathing retort, but before you can, Bucky beats you to it.

He huffs, a sharp sound that carries both frustration and amusement. His tone drips with sarcasm. “Yeah, that’s exactly it, Wilson. She’s helpless, clearly.”

Your patience snaps. “I am a consenting adult!” you shriek, the words coming out in a rush. The urge to throw the nearest stapler at Sam’s head is almost too much to contain, but you force yourself to stay composed. “Anything he’s done to me or with me was discussed and agreed upon. Not that he has… done anything, that is. We haven't, he--”

You immediately regret those last words, the heat in your cheeks flaring up even more as your stomach flips with embarrassment. You want to sink into the floor and disappear, but Sam’s grinning face makes it impossible to hide.

Bucky’s arm around your waist tightens slightly, as though sensing your discomfort. “Sam,” he says with a low growl, warning in his tone. “You can stop anytime.”

“Relax, man,” Sam replies with a wink. “I’m just messing with you. Though, seriously, you two need to quit acting like you're the only ones in the room.” He pats his stomach with exaggerated flair. “It’s a bit much, yeah?”

You groan again, but this time, it’s a mix of frustration and amusement. “We’re not doing anything!” you insist, hands held out defensively.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Sam says, his voice teasing but not unkind. “Just remember, I’m not as oblivious as you think.”

Bucky’s hand slips from your waist as he steps toward Sam, eyes narrowing in mock annoyance. “You need to go before I let her loose on you, Wilson.”

Sam laughs and raises his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. I’ll leave you two to… whatever you’re not doing. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He gives a dramatic wink before backing toward the door. “Remember—I know. I’ve seen the vibe.”

Once he’s gone, the door clicking shut behind him, you exhale, your shoulders finally relaxing. You turn to look at Bucky, who’s still watching you closely.

“I swear, if he says anything to anyone…” You trail off, the rest of your thoughts hanging in the air. 

Bucky just shakes his head, a smile tugging at his lips. “If he does, I’ll make sure he regrets it. I have a vibranium arm.”

You laugh, feeling the last of the tension melt away. “You really know how to make a girl feel protected,” you tease.

He shrugs nonchalantly, though his eyes are soft. “Just doing my job.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Your job?”

“Yeah.” Bucky’s hand brushes your shoulder lightly, his voice lowering. “To make sure no one messes with you. Not even Wilson.”

Your heart skips a beat at the sincerity in his tone, and you can’t help but smile. “Well, I appreciate it,” you say, your voice soft. “Really.”

Bucky just nods, his hand slipping into yours as he gives you a warm, steady smile. “Let’s get out of here before he comes back with more jokes.”

“Agreed,” you reply, the warmth of his hand in yours calming you in a way you didn’t know you needed.

–

The wind whipped outside the car, but inside, it was warm, the heater humming steadily, and the radio playing soft background music. Bucky’s hand was steady on the wheel, his presence somehow grounding you even as the world around you seemed to fade into the night. He’d convinced Sam to switch with him - his motorcycle for Sam’s car, and that was enough to  shock you into silence for nearly the whole ride.

Even when you stopped at the fancy supermarket, it felt surreal. The aisles were empty, save for you two, which gave Bucky the freedom to drag you through the store with his hand tightly wrapped around yours. The shopping cart squeaked softly as it rolled, and you couldn’t help but notice how domestic it all felt—how comfortable.

“We don’t have to do this, Buck. I’ve got plenty of food for both of us,” you tried, watching him toss your favorite wine into the cart—how he knew that, you still had no idea—along with chocolate and even a bundle of flowers that had you laughing under your breath.

“Wrong,” he said with a grin, shaking his head as he held up two boxes of pasta. “We don’t know how long we could be stuck there. Could be days, weeks…” He paused, his eyes softening, then added with a teasing smile, “Gotta keep you fed and warm.”

You bit your lip, trying to suppress your amusement, pointing to the noodles you liked best. He added four boxes, his expression never faltering as he gave you another quick look, one that sent your heart into a flutter.

The cart was full of the oddest assortment of essentials, and it was clear to you by now that Bucky wasn’t just picking things at random. Everything he grabbed seemed like something he knew you’d enjoy—or at least, he thought you would.

Your heart pounded in your chest as he squeezed your hand, and you were sure he could hear it. “Buck,” you began, voice quiet but steady as you tugged him back toward you, pulling him into your space until his front was pressed against yours. The moment hung between you, thick with anticipation, and you took a breath, unsure but resolute. “I’m going to kiss you, and some people might see, so I need you to stop me if you’re not comfortable, okay?”

Bucky’s gaze softened, and his smile was shy but kind. He nodded, the slight tension in his shoulders easing as he stepped closer to you. You could feel his heartbeat against yours, matching the erratic rhythm of your own.

With a nervous sigh, you rose on your tiptoes, tilting your head just enough to fit the shape of your mouth to his. Your hand found the back of his neck, fingers gently curling into his hair as you leaned in. The kiss was slow at first, tentative, a soft exploration, but it deepened when you let your arms wrap around his neck, pulling yourself even closer.

The air around you seemed to disappear, the world becoming small, fading into the background as you buried your face into his shoulder, your chest pressed to his in a way that felt more intimate than anything you had known.

Bucky’s hand slid to the small of your back, pulling you closer, his breath hot against your skin. You could feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath your fingertips as his lips brushed against your hair, his voice low, barely above a whisper.

“I’m so bad at this,” he murmured, and the words had a weight to them that made your chest tighten.

“At what?” You frowned, pulling back just enough to look up at him, your brows furrowed in concern.

“Dating,” he laughed softly, the sound a bit strained. “I used to be good at it. In the '40s… Steve used to hate me ‘cause I’d get all the girls, and he couldn’t even get someone to dance with him,” he added with a rueful grin, though he winced when you pinched his waist playfully.

“Hey,” you scolded lightly, “I don’t need to hear about other girls.”

His laugh softened, but his expression faltered just slightly, as if he regretted even bringing it up. “I know. I’m sorry. But now… now it’s like I’m Steve. I don’t know what to do, or how to… move forward.” His eyes darkened a little with uncertainty, something raw flickering beneath the surface.

You studied him, your heart aching with the vulnerability he was showing you, and for a moment, it was like everything else faded away. The only thing that mattered was this moment, this connection between the two of you.

You reached up to gently touch his cheek, your thumb brushing over the rough stubble there. “You were doing a pretty great job before you mentioned other girls,” you said, a teasing note in your voice, though you couldn’t quite stop the slight pout that formed at the corners of your mouth.

Bucky’s gaze softened, and he chuckled under his breath, clearly amused by your reaction. “Sorry.” His hands moved up to cup your cheeks, his thumbs gently tracing the curve of your jaw as he tilted your head back slightly, forcing you to look up at him.

You were so close now, your breath mingling with his, the space between you charged with unspoken words.

“What I’m saying is…” His voice dropped, and you could hear the sincerity in every word. “Things are different now. You think and do things so differently nowadays. So, you might have to boss me around a bit.” He smiled, though there was a slight nervousness in the way his lips curled. “Tell me what you want, how fast or slow I should take things… I just wanna make you happy, doll.”

You blinked at him, the weight of his words sinking in. You could feel the sincerity in his touch, in the way his eyes locked onto yours, as if waiting for you to guide him, to tell him what you needed. The idea that he was willing to be led, to be patient with you in this way, made your chest tighten with an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

“Bucky,” you whispered, voice soft but sure, “I just want you to be you.” Your hand slid up to his chest, resting over his heart. “I don’t need you to be perfect. I just need you to be honest… with me, with yourself.”

You could see the tension in his shoulders slowly ease as he took in your words. A small, genuine smile tugged at the corner of his lips, and you felt your heart flutter at the way he looked at you—like you were everything.

“Honest, huh?” he muttered, a playful glint in his eye now. “Alright, doll. I can do that.”

His hands slid down to your waist, his grip firm but tender, pulling you even closer until there was no space left between you. The kiss deepened, slow and unhurried, like every movement was an exploration, a promise that didn’t need to be spoken aloud. It was the kind of kiss that wrapped itself around your heart, making everything outside of this moment feel miles away.

Bucky’s lips hovered near yours, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours as he pulled back just enough to look into your eyes. The faintest smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, his gaze soft but intense. “In the spirit of honesty…” you murmured, scratching lightly at the hair at the back of his neck, your fingers curling into the soft strands. “I really, really want you to take me home.”

His breath hitched for just a second before his brow quirked, and a playful glint flickered in his eyes. “Hungry?” He tilted his head slightly, a teasing smile pulling at his lips as his nose brushed against yours.

You smirked, eyes glinting with mischief as you leaned in just enough to brush a teasing kiss across his lips. “Starving,” you whispered, the word hanging between you like a promise, an invitation, and Bucky’s grip on you tightened, pulling you just a fraction closer.

“Yeah?” His voice was low and thick, full of something you couldn’t quite place—teasing, but also a little desperate. His fingers dug into your waist, the touch possessive and tender at once. “God, you really are out for my virtue, aren’t you?” His smile was crooked, that playful smirk you adored, but there was a burn behind it that spoke to the heat building between you.

You laughed softly, the sound breathless as you wrapped your arms around his torso, pulling him even closer. “I might be…” you said shyly, your hands tracing the firm muscles beneath his shirt. “But only if you’re okay with that. I mean it, Buck,” you continued, your voice soft but full of sincerity, “I just want you to be comfortable. And if taking things slow works for you, then I’m okay with that. But,” you added, your voice dropping an octave, the hint of something daring slipping in, “I’m ready for whatever you want to give me. Virtue and all.” You couldn’t suppress the playful, sultry edge that took over, but deep down, you meant every word.

Bucky’s gaze darkened at your words, the storm brewing in his eyes almost tangible as he stared at you. His breath caught, and something heavy settled low in your belly, your pulse racing as the air between you thickened. The bravado you’d carried, the playful energy you’d thrown his way, melted beneath the intensity of his stare, leaving you feeling like you were on the edge of something you couldn’t quite understand, yet couldn’t resist either. Just one look from him, and you were already lost.

Without warning, Bucky leaned in again, his lips crashing against yours with more urgency this time. His kiss was deep, demanding, but still careful—like he wanted to savor this moment, but couldn’t help the fire inside him. His hands slid lower, skimming the hem of your shirt, bunching it up as his fingers brushed against the soft skin of your back. The heat between you intensified, your body responding to him with an eagerness you didn’t even know you had. When he finally pulled back, you were both breathing a little harder, hearts racing in sync. His voice was thick with desire, the playful smirk still tugging at the corner of his lips, but there was something else now—something deeper, something real. “Let’s get you home, doll.”

You nodded, your hands sliding up to cup his face, pulling him down into one more kiss—a slow, lingering connection that sealed the words between you both. Whatever happened next, it was clear neither of you were backing down. Not now. Not when you’d both found something too good to let go.

–

The ride back to your place felt like something out of a dream—the snow gently falling, coating everything in a soft, white blanket as the streets remained eerily quiet, save for the hum of the car’s engine. The city seemed to have slowed down, as if giving you both the gift of time, allowing you to exist in a bubble, disconnected from the rest of the world. The soft glow of the streetlights cast long shadows on the empty sidewalks, making everything feel surreal, like it was just you and Bucky, in your own little universe.

Bucky carried the bags with ease, his muscles straining slightly under the weight, but he shot you a look when you reached for them, a silent command for you to stay put. You gave in with a small sigh, letting him lead the way up to your apartment. The silence of the evening was comforting, and the last thing you wanted was a nosy neighbor making an appearance to witness the soldier who had, over the past few weeks, seemed to become a fixture of your life. To your relief, the hallway was empty, and you made it to your door without interruption.

Inside, the atmosphere was cozy, the warmth of the apartment a stark contrast to the biting cold of the storm outside. You both settled into an easy rhythm, unpacking the groceries in comfortable silence, the quiet broken only by the soft thuds of the fridge and cabinet doors opening and closing.

“So,” Bucky asked casually, leaning against the counter as he looked out at the storm gathering beyond your window, “do you have a record player or something?” He turned to face you, a slight frown of curiosity crossing his features.

You paused, glancing over at the small Alexa device sitting innocently on your counter. “I have an Alexa,” you replied, giving a small nod towards it. “You know, it plays music and does other things.”

Bucky frowned, his brows furrowing as he scratched his chin. “What’s an Alexa?” His confusion was genuine, the years between him and modern technology starkly evident.

You chuckled, your lips curving into a smile at his bemused expression. “It’s a smart speaker,” you explained, walking over to the counter to give him a quick demonstration. “You can ask it to play music, set alarms, tell you the weather... all that stuff. It’s like having a little assistant, I guess.”

He blinked at it for a moment, eyes narrowing as if trying to understand the concept. “So… it listens to you? All the time?” he asked, his voice laced with an understandable wariness. The idea of technology that could constantly listen was something far removed from his 1940s mindset.

“Only when you ask it to,” you assured him with a soft laugh. “It’s not always listening. Just when you say ‘Alexa.’”

His frown deepened, but his curiosity was winning out. “Seems weird,” he muttered, as if processing this new information, then shook his head. “You kids and your gadgets.”

You smiled at his bemusement, the way his voice softened, betraying his playful frustration. "Well, if you want, we can ask her to play you something. Music from the '40s, maybe. Would be fitting for the snowstorm," you offered casually.

He stood in front of the Alexa as if it were an unfamiliar adversary—his posture straight, shoulders squared, eyes locked on it with the same intensity he used to assess a potential threat. It was endearing, even a little adorable, and it made something flutter in your chest.

"You just call her by her name–"

"It’s a she?" His expression shifted to surprise, and you couldn't help but laugh softly, moving to stand beside him, tucking yourself against his side.

"It is," you confirmed, smiling up at him. "You call her by her name and tell her what you want to hear."

Bucky eyed the device warily for a moment before taking a deep breath, as if bracing himself for something monumental. "Alexa," he started cautiously, the uncertainty in his tone making you grin. You watched as his posture tensed, like he was preparing for some kind of response. When the Alexa lit up, he glanced at you. You nodded, urging him on.

"Play ‘I’ll Be Seeing You,’” he said, the words coming out a little less sure but with more of the quiet confidence you adored.

The Alexa responded with a cheerful chime, followed by the soft crackle of an old jazz band filling the room, the familiar strains of “I’ll Be Seeing You” floating through the air. The song instantly enveloped the space, its soothing, nostalgic melody bringing a warmth that matched the coziness of your apartment.

Bucky’s shoulders relaxed almost immediately, and he let out a quiet, appreciative hum as he closed his eyes for a moment, taking in the music. You watched him, a little mesmerized by the way he seemed to let go, the weight of his past momentarily lifting with each note. It was as if the song had unlocked something deep within him—something soft and vulnerable—and you couldn’t help but smile.

He looked over at you, his gaze thoughtful, almost distant. "I used to hear this song everywhere," he murmured, his voice low and filled with quiet nostalgia. "It was... everywhere during the war. The way it made people feel... like they were holding onto something, you know?"

You nodded, your heart aching with a mixture of sympathy and understanding. “I get it. It’s a song full of memories.”

His eyes flickered to you then, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "I didn't think... I'd hear it again like this," he admitted, a little stunned.

You shifted closer, your arm brushing his as you leaned into him, resting your head lightly on his shoulder. “I think that’s the magic of music,” you said softly. “It makes things feel familiar, even when everything around you is different.”

His hand found yours, the warmth of his fingers sending a jolt of comfort through you as he intertwined them. “Yeah,” he murmured, voice rough with something deeper. “You’re right.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the music wrapping around you both like a shared secret. The storm raged on outside, but inside, it felt like time had slowed. All that mattered was the here and now—the feeling of Bucky’s hand in yours, the quiet rhythm of his breathing, and the quiet comfort of being in each other's presence.

"Want to dance?" you asked softly, the idea slipping out before you could fully process it. Your cheeks warmed slightly at the thought, but you couldn't help the way your heart picked up pace, the romance of the moment beckoning you.

Bucky blinked, looking down at you with an almost surprised expression before that familiar smirk tugged at his lips. "Shouldn’t I be the one asking you?”

You grinned, looking up at him. “I did it this time, you can take the next one…Remember, you asked me to boss you around.”

His gaze softened, and after a beat, he stood up from where he had been leaning against the counter. His hand reached for yours, tugging you closer gently. “Alright, doll. Let’s see if I still know how to do this,” he said with a quiet chuckle, pulling you close.

You melted into his embrace, the two of you swaying slowly to the music. The world outside seemed to vanish, leaving just the two of you in the warmth of the room. There was no need for words as you moved together, the silence between you only deepening the connection. Every brush of his fingers, every shift of his body against yours, seemed to speak volumes. It wasn’t about the past, or what might come—it was about right now, about this moment, and about the way you both fit together so perfectly.

As the song faded into the next, Bucky’s lips found yours again, unhurried and deliberate, as if the world outside had slowed just for the two of you. His kiss was a mix of tenderness and restrained fervor, like he wanted to savor every second, every detail. The slow burn between you deepened, the heat simmering just beneath the surface as his hand found the small of your back, drawing you closer.

You melted into him, your arms looping around his shoulders, fingers threading through his hair with a confidence that belied the nervous flutter in your chest. When you parted your lips, letting your tongue tease against his, the quiet gasp that escaped you was met by a low, rumbling sound from him that made your knees weak.

The tension grew, thick and heady, until he finally pulled back just enough to look at you. His blue eyes searched yours, concern flickering as they trailed over the goosebumps on your arms. “Cold?” he asked softly, his voice low and gentle, as though the mere thought of your discomfort was unacceptable.

“The opposite, actually,” you managed, your voice quiet but steady, a soft smile tugging at your lips.

Bucky’s brow furrowed faintly, his gaze flicking to your chest, where your heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might leap out of your ribcage. “I can hear your heart,” he murmured, the words almost apologetic, as though he didn’t mean to notice but couldn’t help himself. His flesh hand moved to your waist, loosening slightly as he stepped back. “Doll, what’s going on?”

You swallowed hard, the nerves clawing at you. Panic flared when he pulled away even a fraction, and before you could second-guess yourself, you reached out, gripping his dog tags and the front of his shirt to stop him.

“Don’t go,” you said, your voice firmer than you expected, though it still carried the edge of vulnerability.

His eyes softened immediately, concern giving way to patience as he stayed perfectly still. “I’m not going anywhere,” he assured you quietly. “But tell me what’s wrong.”

The warmth of his presence, the way he was so grounded, so attentive, gave you the courage to take a shaky breath and press forward. “You know… you know how we said we had to be honest with each other?”

He nodded, his eyes never leaving yours, a silent reassurance that he was fully present, ready for whatever you had to say.

You took a steadying breath, trying to push past the nervous tightness in your chest. “I have to tell you, I–” You faltered, but the heat in your veins burned brighter, urging you to move forward. “I really, really… want you.”

You watched him swallow harshly, one hand abandoning your body to scratch against the stubble on his cheek and your hands loosened their grip on him. 

“I don’t want you to feel pressured,” you added quickly, rushing to fill the silence, afraid of misinterpretation. “But… God, you’re really gonna make me say this, aren’t you?” You laughed nervously, the sound trembling under the weight of your vulnerability. “I want… I’d like to have sex. If that’s… something you’re interested in.”

The confession felt both freeing and terrifying, like stepping off the edge of a cliff and trusting the landing would be soft. Your heart thundered, your hands slowly releasing his shirt as if giving him space to process.

Bucky blinked, his lips parting slightly as if he wanted to speak but couldn’t quite find the words. He took a deep breath, his expression shifting into something you couldn’t quite place—somewhere between careful consideration and overwhelming tenderness.

“We shouldn’t rush this,” he murmured, his voice low and deliberate, each word carefully chosen, like he was afraid saying the wrong thing would fracture the trust between you.

His hand came up to cup your face, the pad of his thumb brushing softly over your cheekbone, and the gentleness of the gesture made your chest ache in the best way. You nodded, already understanding what he wasn’t saying out loud: that he wasn’t rejecting you, that he would, if you asked, but there was no pressure.

Your heart, traitorous and loud, picked up speed again. His eyes flicked down to your chest, where the rapid thudding might as well have been a drum solo, and then back to your face, a slight frown knitting his brow.

“Your heart,” he muttered, almost like it was something he could scold into quieting down.

You huffed a laugh, grabbing his hand and kissing the center of his palm to redirect his attention. “Stop listening to it,” you whispered, your voice warm but teasing as you nipped lightly, teasingly, at the heel of his hand. “I’m nervous, okay?”

“There’s no reason to be,” he replied earnestly, his frown deepening as though he was genuinely baffled by the idea that he could make you nervous.

“Bucky, I just told you I want to have sex with you,” you said, your words tumbling out in a quick, exasperated laugh as heat rushed to your cheeks. “It’s a pretty big moment, you know? That doesn’t just roll off the tongue.”

That made him pause, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth, though he fought to suppress it. “It sounded like it rolled out just fine to me,” he teased, his tone lighter now, the faintest hint of playfulness creeping into his voice.

“Oh, shut up,” you grumbled, smacking his shoulder lightly, though you couldn’t help the grin tugging at your lips. “I mean it, though. This isn’t rushing—not for me. I want this. I want you.”

Bucky searched your eyes for a moment longer, as if trying to decipher some hidden truth, but there was nothing hidden. Only warmth, trust, and the quiet understanding that you were both on the same page.

“Okay,” he finally said, his voice low and steady.

Your stomach flipped, your pulse racing so wildly you half-wondered if you were on the verge of cardiac arrest. But before you could spiral any further, Bucky leaned in, his lips finding yours with a quiet intensity that made your knees buckle. There was something definitive about it and you practically melted into him.

Thank God for his arms wrapped firmly around your waist because you weren’t entirely sure your legs could hold you up. He smiled against your lips as he pulled back, a smug little quirk of his mouth that made your breath hitch.

“If your heart beats any faster, doll, I might think I need to call a doctor,” he teased, his voice low and rough with amusement.

You groaned, heat flushing your cheeks as you buried your face in the crook of his neck, though a reluctant laugh bubbled out of you. “Quit making fun of me and take me to bed..”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

The walk to your bedroom was wordless, every step thick with tension that hung in the air like a live wire. His hand gripped yours, his vibranium fingers cool but steady against your clammy palm as you led him through the quiet space of your apartment.

The door clicked shut behind you, the sound impossibly loud in the stillness, and the finality of it sent a twist of nerves through your stomach. You paused, taking a deep, shuddering breath, and turned to face him, your back pressed to the door.

Bucky stood there, his gaze locked on yours with a heat that made your skin prickle. It was the kind of look that felt like he was peeling back every layer of you, uncovering truths you hadn’t even admitted to yourself yet. The air between you was charged, thick with unspoken tension, and you swore if neither of you broke the silence, you might actually combust.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” you asked softly, your voice barely cutting through the stillness of the room. Seeing him here, in your bedroom for the first time, surrounded by the intimate details of your life, made the moment feel weightier somehow.

This wasn’t just Bucky stepping into your space; it was him letting you into his. It hit you like a tidal wave—this wasn’t just about tonight. This was trust, raw and real, and it sent your thoughts spiraling. Was this his first time being with someone since the 1940s? Had he been with anyone before you, and if so, had it been because he wanted to or because he felt he had to? Was he doing this now because he truly wanted to, or was he trying to make you happy?

You couldn’t bear the idea of pushing him into something he wasn’t ready for. Bucky had endured enough of that in his lifetime, and the thought of being another source of pressure made your chest tighten.

“Buck,” you said again, your voice steady despite the knot of nerves coiling in your stomach. “You know we don’t have to do this, right? If you’re not ready, or you don’t want to…” You swallowed hard, your hands fidgeting at your sides. “I’ll wait. As long as you need. No pressure.”

“Doll—” His voice was closer than you expected, and when you looked up, you realized he’d stepped into your space, the broad expanse of his chest now just inches away. His lips quirked into a soft, amused smile. “We joke about you stealing my virtue, but you’re really starting to make it sound like you think I’m some blushing virgin.”

Your cheeks burned as you stammered, “I know you’re no Steve Rogers!”

That drew a genuine laugh from him, low and warm, the sound reverberating through your chest. The corners of your lips tugged upward despite yourself, his laughter disarming you in the best way.

“He’d hate that, you know?” he said, shaking his head slightly, the teasing glint in his eyes softened by the affection in his voice.

You couldn’t help but lean into him, your body moving of its own accord as your lips brushed his in a tentative kiss. “I’m serious, though,” you murmured against him. “I just needed to make sure.”

Bucky’s hand came up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing along your cheekbone in a tender caress that made your heart stutter. “I’m not doing anything I don’t want to,” he said, his voice low and steady, his gaze locked on yours.

“Good, that’s good,” you whispered, feeling the possessive press of his hand on your waist. Your voice dropped, trembling slightly as you asked, “Can I touch you now?”

His breath caught, and a low chuckle escaped him, the sound rumbling through your chest. “Go on, doll,” he said, his tone a mix of awe and hunger. He leaned in, his lips brushing yours in a maddeningly light kiss.

Your hand slid into his hair as you chassi his lips, your fingers tangling in the soft, dark strands as you tugged him closer. “Thank God,” you breathed, the words barely audible before your lips crashed into his.

This kiss was different—deeper, fiercer. It wasn’t just a kiss; it was a claim, a declaration, and he met it with a raw intensity that left you breathless. His body pressed you firmly against the door, his broad frame caging you in. His hands roamed over you, heat and cold mixing as his metal arm skimmed your side while his flesh hand gripped your waist.

The contrast made you shiver, your body arching into him instinctively. His thigh pressed between your legs, the pressure slow and deliberate, creating a friction that made your breath hitch and your eyes flutter closed. A soft gasp escaped your lips as his mouth found your neck, his kisses trailing fire along your skin. He moved with a purposeful intensity, his lips and teeth teasing your sensitive flesh until you felt your entire body alight.

You couldn’t stop the soft, needy sounds spilling from your throat, each one seemingly spurring him on. Your hands gripped his shoulders desperately, like you were anchoring yourself to him. 

When his hands gripped your hips, pulling you tighter against his thigh, your gasp turned into a sharp inhale, the delicious friction pushing you closer to the edge of reason. The strength in his touch, the heat radiating from his body—it was all too much and yet not enough. You shifted against him, seeking more, your body moving of its own accord.

Your fingers slipped beneath the fabric of his shirt, desperate to feel him, and your touch grazed the warm, firm muscles of his back. He froze for a moment, a quiet hitch in his breath that you barely caught over your own heartbeat. Then, in a deliberate move, he caught your wrists and guided your hands down his chest, sliding under the fabric of his henley and pressing them firmly to his abdomen.

Your fingers splayed against his skin, exploring every ridge and contour of muscle beneath your palms. The heat of his body seemed to burn through you, and with an urgency you couldn’t suppress, you tugged his shirt up and over his head.

You took a moment, your lips brushing down the side of his neck and shoulder to where vibranium met flesh, kissing the junction reverently. His hand slid into your hair, his grip firm but careful, as though he wasn’t sure whether to pull you closer or let you explore at your own pace.

Your lips followed the path down his torso, pressing kisses over his chest, across his abdomen, and lower still until you found yourself on your knees before him. His breath hitched audibly, the sound loud in the quiet intimacy of your room.

You reached for the buckle of his belt, fingers fumbling slightly as you undid it, followed by the button and zipper of his jeans. The anticipation was electric, every movement deliberate yet tinged with a nervous excitement.

“Can you kick your shoes off for me?” you asked quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

A soft laugh rumbled from him, low and indulgent, as he complied, toeing off his boots and kicking them aside. The quiet thuds they made against the floor only heightened the tension, your heart pounding as you pressed a kiss to his hip, just above the waistband of his jeans—a silent thank-you that made his fingers tighten on the back your hair.

You tugged his jeans down his legs, your hands brushing against his strong thighs as the fabric pooled at his feet. His fingers smoothed your hair, pulling only a bit to tilt your head back until your eyes met his. His gaze burned with a desire you felt in every fiber of your being.

“Come up here,” he ordered, his voice low and rough, igniting a fresh wave of heat through you. You glanced down his body, your gaze lingering shamelessly on the obvious outline beneath his pants. A teasing smile played on your lips as your fingers flirted with the waistband of his underwear.

His grip on your hair tightened in response, not painful but firm, and you let out a soft, protesting whine, surrendering as he pulled you back up. The motion was effortless for him, his strength a constant reminder of the power he held but never used without care. He gathered you against his chest, both hands slipping beneath your shirt to press against the bare skin of your back. His touch was searing, grounding you as his breath tickled your temple.

“Can I take this off?” he murmured, his thumb brushing over the clasp of your bra, the request making your stomach flip.

“You can do anything you want to me,” you whispered, the words carrying more weight than you anticipated. You swayed against him as he lifted your shirt halfway, exposing your stomach to the cool air. His lips were on you immediately, pressing a soft, deliberate kiss to the newly revealed skin, the contrast of heat and cold making you shiver.

“There’s a lot…” he began, his voice trailing off as his mouth moved lower, nuzzling and kissing the curve of your waist. Each touch felt worshipful, like he was committing every part of you to memory. He kissed up, his lips finding the edge of your bra, a faint smile ghosting over his face as he took in the delicate lace and mesh of your chosen set.

“Thank God for small mercies,” you thought, silently praising your past self for the decision.

Bucky seemed to share the sentiment, his nose brushing over the swell of your breasts as he let out a low, appreciative hum. “There’s a lot I want to do…” His voice was raspier now, tinged with a raw hunger that sent a shiver down your spine.

“You can do it,” you urged, your voice trembling slightly with anticipation. When his hands finished pulling your shirt over your head, discarding it onto the growing pile of clothes, you finally gave in, letting your fingers brush against the front of his underwear, earning a grunt in response.

“Anything you want,” you repeated, your breath hitching as his lips trailed over the lace, closing around a hardened nipple. His hands roamed your back, steady and sure, and the fire in your veins threatened to consume you when he popped open the clasp, letting the garment fall down your shoulders before he pulled it away. “Careful what you promise,” he murmured, his lips curving into a smirk against your skin. His words were playful, but his touch was anything but as he laved a tongue across the swell of your breasts, teeth dragging over the nubs eagerly.

By the time you were both on the bed, his underpants were the only thing separating you, and you were certain you had become an addict to the feeling of Bucky’s lips on your bare skin. He kissed you like he waited all his life to learn every curve, every sound, every texture and every taste, tongue dragging over every new inch of skin like he couldn’t decide whether he’d had enough or wanted more, just a bit more of certain parts of you.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t help but admire the strength of his body. The scars—each one a story of battles fought, of time passed—marked his skin like a map, telling tales of pain, survival, and resilience. You were pretty sure your need for him could rival his own - you couldn’t tire of watching the way he explored you, of looking and touching and tasting every line of muscle and stretch of smooth and scarred skin. 

Bucky exhaled sharply when your fingers traced the jagged line where vibranium met flesh, his eyes closing for a moment. His flesh hand was warm around your thigh as he spread your legs to fit between them, while the cold of his other arm supported his weight above you.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” You whispered, emotion clogging your throat as you gently traced the scar on his shoulder. Tears threatened to well up, but you blinked them away, offering him a soft smile when you met his gaze. “I always thought you’d never even look at me. You’re so... I guess I’m lucky,” you added with a soft laugh, leaning up to place a delicate kiss on his scarred shoulder.

He froze for a moment, a look of quiet admiration crossing his features. “Lucky,” he murmured, his hand dragging up your leg, your stomach and your torso to cup your breast, thumb brushing over your nipple. “I’m the lucky one.”

You couldn’t find your words as the heat of his tongue found your ribcage, the skin beneath your belly button and the inside of your thigh. You were dripping, shaking from head to toe when his fingers abandoned your thigh to drag between your parted legs.

Bucky eyes followed the drag of his middle finger over your slit and you gulped loudly, breathing picking up right against his ear. He held his own as he stroked you, feeling you out, learning you, and he groaned when he dipped a digit in, feeling you flutter around his finger.

“That’s good,” he praised, taking a deep breath. “Really good, doll. Doing good for me. You’re so–“ wet. You were so wet you could hear yourself as he circled against your entrance and up, dragging over your clit in a teasing motion that made you dig your teeth into your bottom lip. Bucky’s focus was razor-sharp, every touch deliberate and careful, testing the waters before he fully dived in. The way his fingers teased your entrance—pressing just enough before gliding inside and pulling back out—drew a gasp from your lips, a sound that made his eyes darken. He gripped the headboard with his free hand, steadying himself, the gears of the vibranium shifting to adjust, and the sheer sight of him above you sent a fresh wave of heat through your body.

Your mind was a haze, swimming in the sensation of his rough fingers curling just so, finding every nerve that made you shiver and gasp. His movements were maddeningly precise—spreading you open, circling your clit in featherlight touches before plunging back inside. You couldn’t keep still, your hips moving instinctively to meet him, chasing the edge you were desperate to find.

���I can’t—” you gasped, your breath hitching as his thumb added pressure over your clit while his fingers pressed deeper, to the knuckle. You turned your face toward him, seeking his lips, but all you could manage was a stuttering breath that burned in your chest. “Fuck, Bucky, please don’t stop—”

His weight was grounding, but his hand between your thighs was all-consuming, working you open with the kind of slow, purposeful rhythm that made it impossible to think. When he added a third finger, the stretch was enough to make you cry out, your back arching off the mattress as his palm pressed against your most sensitive spot.

For a second, you thought you lost him—his gaze was transfixed on where his fingers disappeared in and out of you, his jaw slacking as if he couldn’t quite believe it. He licked his lips, and his chest heaved with shallow breaths, his pupils blown wide in a hungry gaze as his thumb brushed tighter slick circles against you.

And then it clicked. You saw it in the way his expression shifted—his eyes darkening further, his throat working as he swallowed hard. He was feeling it too: how warm and wet you were around his fingers, how tight you’d be when it was finally his cock stretching you instead.

“Fuck—” The word fell from his lips, rough and wrecked, his voice full of disbelief and want. He shifted slightly, the volume of his cock brushing against your thigh, hot and heavy even through the thin barrier of his boxers. The contact sent a shiver through you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching for him.

“Bucky…” you pleaded, your voice breaking as you tugged him closer by the back of his neck. “Please, please, baby, don’t stop—it feels so good—”

The groan that tore from his throat was primal, vibrating against your lips as he kissed you, messy and desperate. The sound of your voice—of your need—only spurred him on. His fingers shifted angle, finding the spot inside you that made your vision blur, and the sharp moan that left your lips was loud enough to make you blush. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you worried about your neighbors, but the thought was fleeting as his movements pushed you closer and closer to the edge.

“Good girl,” he murmured against your lips, the words sending a jolt through you. His pace quickened, his palm grinding against you, and you clenched around his fingers, your body tightening as pleasure coiled low in your belly and you reached down to wrap a hand around his wrist. “Good girl, that’s it… you’re close, aren’t you?”

His name fell from your lips like a prayer as you tipped over the edge, the tension inside you snapping as waves of pleasure crashed over you. Your nails dug into his shoulders, and he groaned again, his forehead pressing to yours as he worked you through it, every stroke deliberate, savoring the way you fell apart beneath him.

Your head spun, a dizzying haze of pleasure still clinging to you like a second skin. Your body trembled, every nerve alight, as Bucky’s weight pressed into you, grounding you back to reality. His flesh hand—warm, calloused—dragged down your side, leaving a trail of sticky wetness in its wake. He squeezed your ass, his grip firm, possessive, and you shuddered, your breath hitching as his voice cut through the fog.

“Doll—” His voice was low, rough, and you blinked up at him, lips parted, chest heaving. His eyes were dark, hungry, and you could feel the hard length of him pressing against your thigh, demanding attention.

Your hands, still trembling, fumbled with the waistband of his underwear, eager to feel him, to touch him. He groaned and helped you push the fabric down, kneeling between your spread legs to rid himself of the last barrier between you. You sat up, your hands roaming over his torso, tracing the ridges of his muscles, your lips following the same path, leaving a scorching trail down his side.

You licked the crease of his hipbone, your tongue teasing, and your hand wrapped around his cock, feeling him twitch in your grip. He was big, bigger than you had estimated, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think he was beautiful, a vein running down the underside of him that made you want to lean in and follow its path with your tongue. Pre-cum leaked from his tip and his breath hitched, shaky and uneven, as you stroked him once, twice, the fluid slicking your movements, your thumb pressing to the sensitive head and making him shudder in response. 

“N-no, c’mon, doll—” Bucky’s voice was strained, his hips jerking involuntarily as you tightened your grip. “Don’t—”

“You just touched me,” you argued, your voice breathless, defiant. You looked up at him, your eyes locking, and he tipped your head back by your chin, his hands tangling in your hair. His kiss was desperate, hungry, his tongue claiming your mouth as if he couldn’t get enough of you.

The difference between his human hand and the vibranium one sent shivers down your spine, the contrast in their grip making you clench around nothing, your body craving him.

“I won’t last,” Bucky confessed, his voice rough. He bit your bottom lip, thensting making you gasp, before he dragged his mouth down your jaw, your neck, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. “I won’t last if you keep going, and I’d really—” He paused, his teeth grazing your collarbone, his hands tightening in your hair. “...really like to get inside you.”

His words sent a jolt of heat straight to your core, and you whimpered, your body arching toward him. “Do we need a condom? Do you have one?” you asked breathlessly, allowing him to push you back against the soft sheets. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as he hovered above you, his warm breath ghosting over your skin.

He hesitated, a flicker of surprise crossing his features before he shook his head. “No,” he murmured, his forehead dropping to rest against your bare shoulder. You could feel the weight of his frustration, and it made your heart ache just a little for him.

Gently, you traced your fingers along the back of his neck, offering comfort. “Didn’t really think we’d–” he began, but you interrupted him.

“I don’t have any either,” you admitted softly, turning your face to press a kiss to his cheekbone, then to the bridge of his nose, before finally capturing his lips in a tender kiss. “But I’m on the pill. Birth control,” you clarified, your cheeks warming under his intense gaze, even as both of you lay exposed to one another, unguarded and vulnerable. “And I wouldn’t mind… having you bare.”

“Sometimes I think you are trying to kill me,” Bucky breathed out, his voice thick with a mix of desire and exasperation. He pressed his pelvis between your legs, eliciting a soft whine from deep within you as you felt his length drag tantalizingly against your slick folds.

“I’m just trying to find a solution,” you argued playfully, rolling your hips against him, your eyes fluttering shut as pleasure coursed through you. “Imagine how good it’d feel…”

He groaned softly, the sound reverberating in the quiet of the room, and he buried his face in the crook of your neck. “Don’t have to… I can already feel it,” he whispered, sending shivers down your spine.

“Please, Buck… stop teasing me,” you begged, the sound light and teasing, and it quickly melted into a moan as he pressed closer, his warmth enveloping you completely, his length gliding between your folds, the head of his cock bumping your sensitive clit. “Please… I just asked you to fuck me without a condom,” you shook your head at yourself, a hint of disbelief in your voice. “I’ve never done that.”

Bucky pulled back slightly, his intense gaze searching yours, admiration flashing across his features. “Really?” he asked, his voice low and gravelly, almost as if he couldn’t quite believe the words himself. There was an unspoken question in his eyes, one that had lingered between you both since that first night: Do you really trust me that much? 

The question wasn’t just in his words; it was in the way his fingers trembled against your skin, in the way he tried to pace the both of you, as if afraid to make a mistake and ruin everything between you. The vulnerability in his posture was unmistakable—this man, who had lived through so much, was now allowing himself to be here, with you, in this moment of pure intimacy, and he wanted to be sure you wouldn’t regret it.

You swallowed hard, the weight of it all settling over you like a heavy blanket. Your heart beat so loudly in your chest that it felt like it was echoing in the room. Your gaze softened, fingers brushing over the rough edges of his jaw, feeling the tension there.

“You know I trust you, Buck,” you whispered, your voice barely more than a breath. “Right?”

The space between you closed and with renewed urgency, you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him to you, feeling the heat radiating from him. “Get in me,” you breathed, your voice a mix of determination and reassurance. “I want you in me.”

Bucky nodded, his breath quickening. You hadn’t quite finished this conversation - there was still so much you both needed to say - but you let your hand glide between your bodies, fingers gently wrapping around his cock to line him up to your entrance. You gave an encouraging and experimental roll of your hips, making both of you moan at the sensation, and he replaced your hand with his own, pressing forward until you could feel the pressure of him splitting you open.

“We’ll have to take it slow,” he replied, his voice hoarse. “I’m not sure how much I can– holy fuck.”

His cock slipped in, inch by inch, into your welcoming heat and your eyes couldn’t decide where to focus - on where you were connected, his length and girth stretching you little by little as he fucked in and pulled back just to press in deeper, or on his face. You saw seventeen different emotions rearrange his features, from awe, to torture, to delight and back to awe again as he watched himself sink in.

“Look at you,” Bucky breathed out, thumb reaching to circle your clit. “Taking me so well…” he praised, eyes fleeting up to yours. “Think you can spread your legs a little further for me, doll? Come on, just so I ca— fuck me, there it is, good girl,” he sounded delirious and you were pretty sure you’d too, if you could speak. He’d bottomed out inside of you, his eyes fluttering shut seconds later, the vein on his neck strained as he took in deep, steadying breaths. 

The burn was maddening. You could feel every inch of his against your pulsing walls, the sensation of fullness now overwhelming to the point of tears. You felt him in your stomach, and you could hear the wetness of your heat when he shifted, letting out a guttural moan.

“J-James—“ you breathed out and he shuddered, pressing him hips tighter against yours, as if he could meld your bodies together even though there was nowhere else to go, no more of him to bury inside you. “Shit, you’re gonna split me open,” you gasped, a bewildered laugh slipping out of you.

You watched as he pulled himself together, eyes squeezing shut to try and focus and find his own voice again. “Does it hurt? Did I hurt you?”

You shook your head, pressing a kiss and then another to his lips and you nodded when his hips rolled involuntarily. “Yes, yes, please… that’s what I want,” you nodded eagerly.

There was no hesitation then, no careful restraint. Bucky Barnes, the man who so often kept himself in check, was utterly and completely unleashed. The realization sent a thrill racing through you, leaving you breathless, aching, and yearning for more.

His hips snapped and your head rolled back, hands tightening around his torso as he picked up a rhythm that had yours toes curling in no time. In and out, he stroked your walls, his free hand gripping your body possessively until you were sure he’d leave bruises, which only made you wetter and more desperate.

“You’re so deep,” you cried out when he pressed in to hilt and took a moment to breathe in, no space between your bodies. “I can feel you in my s-stomach.”

“Would get deeper if I could,” he’s a man possessed and when you look up at him, he looks as pussy drunk as he sounds. “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen, doll…”

“Oh my g—“ You choke, head falling back onto the pillow, eyes on the ceiling and lips parted around a shaky breath. “James—“

His reaction was instant, as if each letter of his name was a strand of the thread you tugged, unraveling him completely. He pressed his face to your neck then, snapping his hips with bruising force, making your breath stutter.

“Say it again,” he pleads, his voice a raw, desperate melody you wish you could capture—something to cling to in his absence. It resonates deep within you, tugging at the very core of your being, as if he’s not just claiming your body but binding your soul to his. “Please, doll…”

“James,” you offer willingly, rolling your hips to meet his. “I need you to cum, baby,” you beg, pressing your lips to his sweaty forehead. Your bodies are slick with it as well, your hand slipping down his broad back and you close your mouth around his shoulder, tasting the salt of his skin on your tongue. 

Bucky shakes his head then and he’s silent for a few moments, lost to the feeling of your slick walls. “You first,” he urges, pressing needy kisses down your neck and chest. “I wanna feel it… feel you cum around my cock.”

“Buck—-“

“It’s James,” he commands, pulling back enough so he can glide a hand between your bodies, his thumb pressing to your clit. “You’ll call me James when I’m inside you. You understand, doll?”

“Y-yes,” you nod and your face contorts with pleasure, a desperate gasp for air sounding between you as you try to fill your burning lungs. 

"Yes what?"

"Yes, James."

His touch is sending you barreling down the edge and no matter how hard you try, there is no holding back. You feel it, white hot pleasure burning hotter and tighter low in your belly, your walls clenching around his member until you’re shaking and unable to meet his movements.

“I’m gonna c-cum—“ you warned, grateful for the way he’s pressing you down, grinding and adding more pressure to your clit. “Shit, J-James, baby, please!”

He never stops. Not until you’re shaking and he can feel you unraveling around him, your orgasm taking over with a violent force that takes you both by surprise. It makes you louder, your back arching off of the mattress and into his chest, your thighs snapping shut against his sides as you unravel.

“Shit!” Bucky gasps, dropping on top of you, pinning you down until you don’t know where he ends and you begin, your thighs shaking and toes curling.

Your sight is dotted with stars and you can barely speak to urge him on when he crosses the finish line, ecstasy taking over with no warning. His blue eyes roll back and you feel and hear him thrusting once, twice, three times, until his cock is twitching and pressed in to the hilt, his warm cum coating your walls. It oozes out of you in it's intensity and it makes you shiver at the primal feeling of ownership it sends through your body.“Shit, shit, I’m s-sorry—“

“I wanted it,” you confess, your arms and legs wrapping around him like a human cage. Not that it could hold him—one tug, one flick of his wrist, and you’d be undone. But he stays put, sinking into your embrace like he belongs there, his weight pressing into you, heavy and grounding. He’s your personal weighted blanket, if weighted blankets were also devastatingly handsome and extremely good in bed. Not that you could ever say that to him out loud.

The room is still buzzing with the aftermath—your mingled breaths, the faint hum of your heartbeats syncing. He presses soft, almost worshipful kisses wherever his lips can reach: your shoulder, your collarbone, that tender spot just below your jaw that makes you shiver.

The silence stretches, comfortable and lazy, until you finally break it. “What a mouth you’ve got on you, Mr. Barnes,” you tease, your nails tracing idle patterns along the muscled expanse of his back. “I had no idea.”

He snorts, the sound low and gravelly in your ear, getting more and more common the longer you spend time together. There’s a glint in his eye when he pulls back just enough to look at you. “What can I say?” he drawls. “I’m full of surprises.”

“Oh, I bet you are,” you retort, your grin matching his.

His hand moves lightning-quick, pinching your waist with pinpoint accuracy. You squeal, swatting at him, but he’s already laughing, the deep rumble vibrating through his chest, crinkles by his eyes making the blue sparkle brighter.

“Careful,” he warns playfully, his lips quirking up into a dangerous smile. “Keep that up, and I might have to show you a few tricks up my sleeve.”

You narrow your eyes, biting back a laugh. “Big talk for someone who’s currently trapped in my hold.”

He raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Trapped? Doll, you’ve got this all wrong… I’m exactly where I want to be.”

[tiramisu-rambles]

TKATB: Reverse!AU Sol

Summary: some headcanons about a reverse!au, where Sol's entire aesthetic is blonde-dyed hair and angelic, innocent eyes.

Warnings: implied drugging, yandere tendencies (TKATB), stalking, breaking into your home, eventual imprisonment, coercion?? and minor spoilers for the game events. Gender neutral reader but he dresses you in a skirt around the end.

Creative liberties are taken for this AU: where you and Sol used to be childhood friends that lived close to each other, and he used to be a simple boy with ebony hair and ruby eyes, who'd follow you around like your eyes held the stars within them.

The elderly would simply coo and say it was a sweet sort of puppy love, not knowing how seriously Sol would have retaliated behind your back if any other kids were to pick on you or try to take his place. Small accidents aren't unusual in your area, where youngsters become careless and slip into rivers or fall off the monkey bars...

But, knowing how such incidents would upset you, Sol never lets you see that side of himself, and instead melts into the kind, sweet, gentle boy you know whenever you're around him. He puts you first and lets you win at your favourite games, at your side like it's the most natural thing in the world.

To a bystander, he was akin to a raven watching over its heart's treasure - ready to claw and tear at the nearest threat. But things change when you lose your memories in an accident. And from there, Sol is convinced that this is some type of retribution for his tainted love - and paints his wings white for the next time he meets you.

The angel bleaches its locks and ties his hair. Strict; contained. Fashioning himself into a dove.

It works; because you are the loveliest of doves, and there is nothing stronger in Sol's heart than his need to be next to you, even if it takes a few white lies to earn your trust.

"Y/N! Let's play a game!"

Hopscotch - where you'd suddenly lose your balance and fall into Sol's arms. Or hide and seek - where he'd always pretend not to find you, so that you could enjoy the thrill of almost winning, before…

"Four, three, two… one."

When you 'first' meet Sol in college, it's when you wake up in the infirmary after a food fight in the cafeteria, having been hit in the head by a flying tray.

He was somewhat unrecognizable by then - with his hair dyed a sunflower yellow and exuding innocent-softness. He's helpful and doesn't pry too much into your life while he tends to your wounds - and the next thing you know, you're in art class and learn that he isn't actually the nurse, but an assistant. And that he has a habit of doodling cute things onto his skin beneath his sleeves.

Perhaps it's because you've been stressed about your home-situation lately, but you've been spending more time in the infirmary due to headaches, blurriness, and feelings of fatigue.

That, and you've been having the strangest dreams about a shadow wandering through your room at night. (Totally not because Sol has tampered with the food in your kitchen, so that he may come and go more leisurely and make sure you're alright.)

"How're you feeling today, Pumpkin?" Sol asks, clipboard in hand and a smile on his lips. But as he nudges the door to the infirmary closed and makes sure the windows aren't letting any wind in, you catch a glimpse of the papers he's holding and don't see any medical reports.

Drawings, maybe? And a few hearts encircling a name.

If it wasn't for the tracking device that's locked around your ankle, you might've been able to delude yourself into thinking that your stay at Sol's apartment was normal - that you'd chosen to come in here yourself, rather than waking up one day with no memory of how you got here - and that the Sol that's taking care of you now was the same, innocent nurse who comforted you on your first week. When you'd gotten overwhelmed by the new culture of your college and felt lost about your life.

Technically, you suppose Sol did make your life a little simplier, by giving you something much more pressing attend to.

A shiver runs down your spine as you feel a pair of arms wrap around your waist from behind you. Sol presses his smile against your neck, asking if there was something wrong.

"Is there something wrong with the pancakes?" He asks. And you try not to pay attention to the skirt that pools around your legs.

You'd woken up to a closet of clothes prepared in your size. And decorations around the bed that eerily match your childhood tastes.

You cover your mouth to stay silent in your hiding spot, feeling your heart race in your chest.

"…Ready or not. Here I come."

[local-crying-boy]

Hiii!! and would you write Silco x reader who’s really affectionate? I hope you have a wonderful day!!!

🅂🄸🄻🄲🄾

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𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝙿𝚊𝚜𝚝!𝚂𝚒𝚕𝚌𝚘/ 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚝!𝚂𝚒𝚕𝚌𝚘 𝚇 𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝙽𝚎𝚞𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚕!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜 + 𝙾𝚗𝚎-𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝, 𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚎

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 1.1k

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When Silco was younger, before Felicia and Connel's death and before he and Vander went their separate ways, he was more reciprocal towards your affections.

At this point of his life he was, mostly, spared from the true horrors of betreyal and loss so he, really, had no reason to deny your affections.

In public, he was less 'touchy-feely', he made it known that he wasn't one for PDA

However around your little group of friends he was more inclined to hold hands with you, put an arm around your shoulder, a hand on our thigh or knee.

Then there was how he acted behind closed doors, he matched your affectionate nature almost ten fold.

While you were known to be the affectionate one, there was the odd time where he would subtly go and initiate the affection. However, most times, it went unnoticed by the others and you were truly the only one who knew that he did, in fact, like the physical touch.

The faint sound of music echoed throughout the bar, a familiar night to all five of the adults. You and Silco were sitting by the bar, he was writing wordlessly in his journal while you listened into the conversation that Felicia, Connol and Vander were having. Vander was behind the bar, having just finished pouring drinks for the group, an arm leaning on the counter, while Felicia and Connol were a few seats away from you and Silco. The three of them were indulged in a conversation, one of which Silco was not that focused on. Your arms were leaning on the part of the counter that was in front of you, eyes taking in the cosy sight of your group talking and hanging out without, seemingly, a care in the world. It was a frequent sight, yes, but one that always made your brain spur with Dopamine. Your hand inched its way closer to Silco's, your pinkie just barely brushing against his. He didn't fully turn to look, but you could see how his eyes glanced over for a split second, even with the long, strand of his hair covered the side of his face. His hand moved a little closer to yours, allowing you to interlock both of your smaller fingers together. Your head soon found itself tilting to the side of you where Silco just so happened to be sitting, shifting your position once you felt it gently land on his shoulder. You heard the barely audible, amused breath that escaped his lips, but the man made no effort to move you off of him. "Comfortable there?" He asked, his voiced laced with a teasing tone. You hummed happily, watching as he continued scribbling in the book that you were beginning to see everyday. "Very." "You cannot last two minutes without coming up close to me," He scoffed faintly, but there was no true malice in his words. "Can you?" "Don't act like you don't enjoy it." You chuckled out, head moving ever so slightly to look up at him, even though you couldn't exactly see his face from where you laid your head. His eyes moved from his book to fixated on yours, a smirk pulling on his lips. "I never said I didn't." The two of you fell silent, the perfect time for you to lean up and plant a soft kiss upon his lips, which he happily returned once he felt it.

Although, all good things come to an end eventually, of course.

When Vander attempted (and almost succeeded) killing Silco, he started to become more closed off then he usually was, even behind closed doors.

Consumed by the thought that the people he trusted ended up betraying him, and by the fact that any last piece of innocence he was able to retain even from living in the Undercity was gone, he was cold. Distant. Alone, it seemed.

He would really only reciprocate your affection with a gentle touch that lasted too short.

However, it did not mean he didn't not like your affectionate nature. It was quite the opposite, actually.

Silco was oftentimes cooped up in his office, it was a normal occurrence, and one that you had come quickly acquainted with. He was a busy man, and you had your own business to attend to, regardless. The time the two of you were able to spend together only grew less and less over the years, however, that was just how things turned out and there was not much to be done about it. You made your way to his office, it was late, but you knew that he was still going to be there, he usually was after all. You gave a quick knock on the door, before opening it up and poking your head through. “What is it?” He asked, his tone harsh and cold, not lifting his head up to look at you when the door creeeeaked open. You put your hands up in a mock surrender, a little chuckle escaping your lips. “Only me.” He paused for a moment, the pen in his hand halting from its writing before he looked up at you. “It’s late, what are you doing here?” You gave him a small shrug, walking further into the room after you shut the door, making your way over to his desk. “I haven’t seen you all day.” "I've been busy." The seated man simply said, his eyes falling back down to what he was writing. You said nothing in reply, there wasn't much you could say in response to that - it was a fact that he was busy, and you knew there was little you could do to help said fact. Instead of speaking, you made your way over to his desk, then behind and beside where he sat. You looked over what he was doing, but did not bother to pretend to know exactly what he was doing. He had both his arms leaning on the desk in front of him, which allowed you to slowly move onto the arm rest on his chair, sitting on it. It was not all that comfortable, but you were only planning to stay there for a few moments. Like a hundred times before, you side leaned into his, head resting on the back of his chair. You expected little to none reciprocation of your affection since you noticed that frustrated furrow in his brow, one that was a clear sign to you that he was just trying to finish his work. However, with your eyes fixated on some random detail in his office, you felt one of his hands lightly touch your knee. One of the most forms of affection you found yourself getting these days.

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Masterlist

[kremzeeks]

OK so I have so many thoughts about this. I will put them under a read more and then people can just ignore them easily that way.

I really enjoy the Knuckles series for what it is... But it was really missing that "full circle" moment.

The first episode sets up a couple of emotional beats for Knuckles as a character. After Sonic's talk with him on the roof, and after this advice gets him grounded, Knuckles states, "...the hedgehog cannot possibly understand" (but I really think you can replace Sonic with the whole family in general) before calling out for spiritual guidance from his Tribespeople.

The crux of the issue that we (the audience) can see for him is that he is very much tied to his own traditions and customs, and everything here on earth is very different. Him even being on earth at all is not out of any sentimentality, but because he believes he has a duty of protection towards the Master Emerald. He considers himself a sentinel on duty, and when he does what is natural to him (and what would have been expected of him among his tribe) - this being, protecting his territory (and where we can presume he's keeping the Emerald until he trusts Wade enough to hand it off to him) - he is punished, and made to feel shame for his behaviour. Not only that, but Sonic encourages him to abandon these duties and just relax and have fun.

This doesn't make any sense to Knuckles because the unspoken implication here is that there was no relaxing and "having the fun" for his tribespeople. I'm speaking without much knowledge of the lore from the videogames, but as far as the live action movie canon goes, there's this sense that Knuckles has had it instilled in him to always be on duty, all of the time.

Even the flashback scene we get in the second film, where his father tells him this moment for heroism isn't his - he's holding a spear in his hand, and standing sentinel over their home. He was the last one left alive in the tribe, and so the only one who didn't go on that raid. So it's very likely he was being left a job, which was to watch over their home village until everyone else returned. He wasn't "warrior" enough at that time to go and fight, but he still had a duty to perform.

When nobody returned, he then assumed the duty the whole tribe once embodied - finding and protecting the Master Emerald.

Another thing the first episode sets up, is this idea that it's now Knuckles' duty to replenish their tribe by finding and training students. Wade being his first.

Although we do get Knuckles referring to earth as his home eventually, these two emotional beats aren't really followed through in a satisfying way. The second one isn't really even followed through at all.

Starting with the first - we sadly don't see Knuckles form any attachment to his home home - this being his home with Sonic, Tails, Maddie, and Tom (and Ozzie, of course!)

I've watched this series through a few times now, and here are some things I have noticed. Although Maddie refers to Knuckles as her "kid" to the construction crew, I feel like this is less about her actually considering Knuckles as one of her children, and more about her explaining him in a way that other people will understand. Because otherwise, she doesn't show a whole lot of maternal behaviour towards Knuckles. This is probably because unlike Sonic and Tails, he is used to being self-sufficient and taking care of himself. A domestic life is probably mind-numbing for him, especially if Maddie is trying to see to all of his immediate needs like a mother would.

And from context clues in this series, I get the sense Knuckles isn't really allowing Maddie to mother him either, which is why there's such a rift between them.

For example, when Knuckles greets them all at the breakfast table with his newly built throne - notice Maddie calls the "boys" down for breakfast, and is only holding two plates. One for Sonic, one for Tails. There isn't even a plate on the kitchen island behind her to suggest she was going to bring one for Knuckles (and just couldn't carry all three plates at once). We can assume from this that she isn't in the habit of preparing breakfast for him.

This is probably because, as Sonic introduces for us at the episode's start, Knuckles starts his day with training. Not by chilling at the breakfast table with the family.

Secondly, Knuckles creates distance between himself and Maddie by referring to her as "Pretzel Woman", which comes across as demeaning. Whilst we (the audience) can acknowledge this is just the way Knuckles refers to others in general (with a moniker - Hedgehog, Fox, etc), I think for Maddie, it's a clear sign that Knuckles has rejected his place in the family, and thus her place in relation to him.

Interestingly, it's only Wade (and his Chief, of course) who Knuckles calls by name in this series, which suggests to me anyway that he sees Wade as an equal, or at least as some kind of kin, probably because Chief Pachacamac has urged him to take Wade on as a student for training.

Everyone else, he creates distance with by not referring to them by their given names, and instead titles/names he's decided they should have.

When Maddie finally loses it and goes full Mom Mode on him, Knuckles talks back to her, not understanding the dynamic she's trying to establish - that she is the boss - the Matriarch, even! - in their house, and he has to fall in line. I think up until that point, Knuckles has considered her just as a thing living in the territory he has to protect, and he doesn't really give her any consideration, the way he doesn't give Ozzie the dog any consideration either. Or at least he's not considering them with the proper/due amount of respect they deserve.

I feel like what this series was missing like you say, OP, is a scene at the end where Knuckles returns home and he understands - from observing Wade with his family - how Maddie sees him in the Wachowski Tribe. Or at least acknowledges her as the Matriarch, the way he does Wade's mom. This would have been a perfect marrying between Knuckles' culture, and the culture he's going to have to assimilate into, if he's to have a peaceful life alongside Maddie and her family.

Bonus points if we could have had a conversation between them both about how Knuckles feels about this. I don't think he necessarily wants to be treated like a child, but he might be at least willing to defer to her a little more and see her as more of an equal, and not just some NPC roaming around who keeps getting in the way and yelling at him for reasons he's not understanding.

As for the second beat - whilst we get a lot of information about Wade's culture and traditions, we don't get any from Knuckles. Even though that is specifically what Chief Pachacamac instructs him to do - find a student who he can teach all about the ways of the Echidna.

He is sort of mildly instructing Wade about how to be a warrior, and talking a lot of warrior-isms, but we don't actually learn anything about the Echidna tribe's customs and traditions. Which is a shame because there were lots of places Knuckles could have reciprocated with his own stories when hearing from Wade, and later his mom, but it doesn't happen for some reason.

All we really learn from this series about Knuckles is the same thing we learned from the second movie: he used to be part of a tribe, but they were all killed when he was young, and now he's on his own.

I do think there are small things we can glean about Knuckles' past (and his customs/traditions) from the things he says and does at least... But without proper on-screen confirmation, these are all just technically headcanon... But here are some vague details we can discern:

At some point, Knuckles participated in (and likely witnessed others participating in) a ritual in which one Echidna has to face their fear in a trial by combat. And just in general, the trial by combat was used to iron out disputes in rank and suchlike. It's very telling that Maddie labels Knuckles' handiwork on the living room as a "Gladiator fighting pit", and Knuckles quickly corrects her with (and emphasises), "Warrior fighting pit". There is more honour in the notion of two willing warriors fighting one another versus one unwilling participant against a seasoned fighter for sport. This is how Knuckles' culture has framed this activity - it's an honourable battle where one must display strength and win against their opponent to determine an outcome. Whatever happens to the loser is deserved because they lost the battle of strength, and the winner is congratulated and/or promoted. What Maddie sees is something very brutal and barbaric. What Knuckles experienced and believes in, is a system for determining rank and encouraging an honourable, warrior-like spirit.

The Matriarch in the clan is to be respected and admired. This one's a bit of a stretch, but if you watch how Knuckles responds to Wanda being admonished for not doing her duty at the table (lighting the candles), and the way he reacts to Wade and Wanda fighting at the table in general juxtaposed with their mom's exasperation, it is clear he disapproves of and is shocked at their behaviour. Poor guy looks utterly flabbergasted the whole way through - they are at a feast table with their Matriarch, and nobody is doing what they're told or what they are expected to do! What is going on?! Meanwhile, he is very enthusiastic about complimenting Wade's mom, shows enjoyment for the food she brought to the table (even though it's not what he would prefer to eat), and admires her physique and strength.

Which ties into three: one's physique is very important and can show on the surface (to Knuckles and maybe others in the Echidna Tribe) a "true" warrior. Notice how Knuckles is quite happy to be mothered by Wade's mom ("Let me get you some more, sweetie", to which Knuckles nods and smiles and gratefully accepts), but less comfortable to be mothered by Maddie (he argues back at her, he's not part of the breakfast routine she has established, and he is just generally quite disrespectful towards her). This certifies he sees Maddie as a "weakling" because unlike Wade's mom, she doesn't appear physically strong to him. It's worth noting, however, that Chief Pachacamac himself doesn't put so much stock into physical appearance because when Knuckles despairs at Wade being his student (and not seeming like a warrior at all), Chief Pachacamac immediately returns that Knuckles wasn't much of a warrior either when they first met. Although to be fair to Knuckles, he probably first met his Chief for lessons as a literal child, whereas Wade is a grown man (so by Knuckles' standards, he should already embody all that a warrior is and does - this could be a signifier of maturity within the Echidna tribe).

My final point doesn't have much to it, but it's very simply about the absence of a mother figure for Knuckles. The main detail in his story is that he witnessed his father leave and never return, and found out that it was because everyone in that raid was murdered by their opponents. Knuckles also references being trained by Chief Pachacamac, and speaks very highly of him in general (quoting his words, for example). Although Knuckles can acknowledge and respect a Matriarch (the way he does Wade's mom), there's not much evidence that he knew a mother in his lifetime. I wonder if this could be another reason he rejects Maddie's attempts to bring him into the family. She treats him the way a mother would a child, but what Knuckles needs from her is for her to behave like a Matriarch - someone he can respect and look up to. He doesn't need or want someone running after him, tidying up his messes, cooking his meals, and tucking him into bed. Those days are waaaay behind him, if they ever even happened at all! I personally get the sense Knuckles has never been mothered (or parented) a day in his life. He was probably a warrior in the making from the moment he could walk, and never really allowed to be a child. Which is why the way Sonic wants to live (as a concept) is so alien to him.

Anyway, with all that said, I think I'm done overthinking this children's media now hjfgjfjgjfgfjg.

Y’know what would be nice?

If that the series ended off with Knuckles returning home to Sonic, Tails and Maddie, and (after the rapid fire of questions and scolding for running away which is most likely prone to happen lol) begins to tell them about how he realised he isn’t living with them just to fulfil a vow of protecting the M.E anymore, but rather because he finally found his home

He explains how he finally understands the definition of “home” and what makes one

And if it’s anywhere he is most at home (since losing his tribe), it’s in the small town of Green Hills, with the Wachowski family, because with them is where his place of belonging lies…they are his home, and always were from the moment they took him in

Yeah, I think that would be nice

[dindjarindiaries]

Crosshair making the shot to free Omega was more than just a heroic moment of redemption. It was a display of trust that, more than anyone else, Crosshair absolutely needed to finally make peace with himself.

This analysis is somewhat piggybacking off of this one about The Return, in which I discuss Hunter's true motivations during that episode and how earning trust and loyalty back from Hunter is one of Crosshair's greatest desires, especially as a younger sibling. While he may have started to earn it back then, this scene is the full culmination of it, and it's the moment when Crosshair can finally let go of the past and just be himself with his family again.

As always with any analysis, this is a disclaimer that you may view this moment in an entirely different way due to various biases, one of the most notable being based upon your own favorite characters and your own life experience. All I ask is that you read through carefully before chiming in with any counterarguments!

This analysis hinges heavily upon this line/moment, which indicate two major things for Crosshair: trust from both Omega and Hunter in taking the shot, the latter of whom knows he's down his shooting hand.

It starts, of course, after Hunter's killed CX-2 and he's preparing to go after Hemlock and Omega. Being the protective eldest brother/sergeant he is, he tries to convince Crosshair to stay behind, but Crosshair refuses and insists on helping. It doesn't take much at all to convince Hunter, and in probably one of my favorite underrated moments, he immediately picks up a second blaster for Crosshair - something that alone is a massive sign of trust in his brother and his abilities, even if they're both barely functioning.

Because, again, Hunter knows that Crosshair is down his shooting hand, but he doesn't doubt that his brother will still be able to use the weapon. And it's not just that.

Hunter knows that his brother can still shoot better than him. Not just because Hunter and his senses are no doubt absolutely overloaded right now, but because he has true faith in his brother and his sharpshooting abilities.

(Also... bonus points for this shot of them supporting one another. I hate what led to this, but I live for them literally leaning on each other again after everything they've been through.)

So then, we get this. The position they automatically assume, with Crosshair's blaster positioned on top of Hunter's shoulder. This is already establishing Crosshair as the primary sharpshooter here. Even before Hunter says a word, he's showing Crosshair how much he trusts him to make the shot when the time comes.

After this, we get out first hint of Omega displaying strong trust in both of them.

(She, of course, doesn't know yet about Crosshair's missing hand, but that wouldn't have matter anyway. We all know she still would've displayed the same amount of trust in him that Hunter does here.)

It doesn't matter what Hemlock put them through. It didn't matter to her when he first caught her trying to free them. She has complete, utter faith in her brothers to protect her. As someone who's so big on loyalty and has been trying to earn that full loyalty and trust back from his family, can you imagine how this made Crosshair feel already? Seeing her so confident in their ability to save her, even when she has a blaster pointed at her head?

Hemlock moves himself and Omega closer. This is when one of my favorite subtle moments happens: Hunter literally looks over at Crosshair, as if he already knows exactly what's about to happen.

Again, he already knows that Crosshair's going to take that shot and that he's going to make it. Hunter wouldn't risk Omega. Ever. If he had anything other than full confidence in Crosshair making the shot, then he wouldn't have allowed it.

But Hunter isn't just looking at Crosshair for that reason alone. He can also recognize that Crosshair is unsure, and scared. Hunter might even feel that way, too, but he's ever the eldest brother and sergeant, so he makes it his duty to make a plan and to give Crosshair the reassurance to do what Hunter knows he can do. What he trusts Crosshair to do.

Not only is Hunter telling Crosshair here that he trusts him, but also that Omega trusts him. In fact, he's insisting that she trusts him enough that she already knows exactly what to do to give him the perfect opportunity to take the shot.

Hunter also doesn't frame this as a choice. He tells Crosshair what to do, proving to him just how much confidence he has in Crosshair's ability to pull it off. Instead of a "Come on, you can do it!" it's literally a "You will do this."

And again, it's not like Crosshair missing wouldn't be a big deal. If Crosshair misses here, like he points out, it could risk Omega in several ways, either her being hurt by a stray shot or Hemlock getting the upper hand and killing both of them. But Hunter, protective Hunter, tells Crosshair that it has to be him. That it will be him.

Then, of course, Crosshair takes the shot - and makes it.

(And now, a moment of appreciation for the swiss cheesing...)

(I just noticed Hunter's knife is gone? Give it back??? What's he gonna do without his emotional support knife???????)

Now, the moment when Omega is finally about to reunite with them... but she notices Crosshair's missing hand. She realizes that, even without his shooting hand, the one he's been struggling with ever since their first imprisonment on Tantiss, Crosshair still made the shot. He's still worthy of that trust. And Omega and Hunter have known it, but Crosshair hasn't.

This is when we get another one of my favorite subtle moments (if you've been following me here, you'll know I've talked about this one before). Hunter's gaze guides Omega over to Crosshair and his missing hand, though I think it's a lot more than pointing that out. To me, it's Hunter saying "It was him. It was all him."

And that's when Omega runs forward and gives Crosshair the hug he really, really deserves.

This look in Crosshair's eyes... is everything.

That's the look of a man who's, of course, in utter shock, but it also dawning upon a massive realization. He's really, truly, cared for. And not even just that, but he's trusted, with their lives. You can't tell me that Crosshair didn't know at this point that Hunter's life was tied up with Omega's, too. If Omega had been lost, Hunter would have lost himself, too. By entrusting Crosshair with that shot, Hunter was essentially putting his own fate into Crosshair's hand, too.

And they both trusted him enough to do it. Finally, finally, he had their trust back. This embrace is proof and celebration of that, just as it's also proof of their loyalty to him.

(Hunter having a hand on both their backs I'm gonna be sick! I love them all so much!)

Remember, just a few hours before this, Crosshair was volunteering to Plan 99 because he felt as if he truly deserved that fate. He had clearly forgiven everyone except himself as far as their pasts went.

But here, Hunter and Omega - the two people whose approval Crosshair seeks out the most - both proved that they trust him with their lives. Even when he's far from being at his strongest.

All Crosshair ever wanted from his family was to have their trust and their loyalty again, and this moment is when he finally saw that he had it, and it's what allowed him to finally, at long last, make peace with himself again.

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Nap now book later

Barbie dolls: Moonwater x gn! Reader

Word: 1.3k

Summary: you’ve been studying too much so your boyfriends pull you from it and make you take a nap

Warnings: regulus has anxiety, uh, regulus gets bullied by the portraits, one singular joke Abt not trusting Peter take it or leave it, tiny mention of rosekiller sorry partyvan fans 💔, regulus has a really hard day, you study too much, possible meal skippage, supposed to be Abt finals but we're kinda pass that so just pretend, dude I think that's it

Remus wasn't exactly one to stress out about his partners’ whereabouts. They usually found their way to him or vice versa. Regulus was particularly elusive so it was more like chasing a puff of smoke than it was trying to find your lovely boyfriend. Remus found comfort in knowing that, if he truly needed to, he could just look at the map.

The simplicity of his day was lifting his lips into a soft smile. He woke up at an acceptable time, not interrupted but James' loud singing. Shockingly. He made it to breakfast and couldn't be happier with Regulus tucked into his side grumbling away about his day. Remus spent some time in the library, picking out new books. Now, he was resting under a large tree, starting one of his new books. He couldn't put his finger on the last time he felt this relaxed on a weekend. 

Regulus was the kind to stress out about his partners’ whereabouts. He worried they'd get into detention, or get into a fight, or trouble, get lost in the forest, drown in the Black Lake, or somehow find a sinkhole.

This morning wasn't so bad. He woke up with Barty in his bed, though Regulus had told Barty to sleep with Evan if he had a nightmare. Crouch wasn't the type to follow instructions it appears. Much worse Barty had been playing with Regulus' hair the whole night. Now his curls were all tangled and pulled.

After Regulus managed to make his hair look moderately acceptable he found his way downstairs to the Great Hall. He plopped next to Remus already complaining about the whole ordeal. How unfortunate it was, Regulus would have to cut Barty's fingers off. It was the only solution. Nothing else could solve this.

Then after breakfast, he tried to calm his nerves with a walk to the Lake but then all he could think about was where you were. You could be anywhere in the entire castle. You hadn't shown up for breakfast. He hadn't seen you anywhere really. Sure it was the weekend but you usually appeared by now. 

Thus, Regulus started frantically searching the castle for you. He whipped his head around every corner, startling a young third-year blossoming couple away from each other.

Regulus asked the portraits, getting nothing but a few of them calling him mean names. One of them made fun of his shoes and he thought of taking it off the wall and throwing it. Eventually after exhausting himself and raising his anxiety to extreme levels, he decided to find Remus and ask him. Regulus knew Remus’ schedule like the back of his hand. The other hand was dedicated to your schedule, of course. Regulus knew it was a weekend but Remus still had routines. Deciphering Remus' location was easy enough. So as soon as Regulus caught a glimpse of Remus' curls under the big tree in the courtyard, he started sprinting towards Remus. 

The loud crunching of leaves is what startled Remus from his book, looking up to find Regulus huffing and puffing right next to him. Remus jumped a little, shocked Regulus was so close already. Remus closed his book and let out a huff, gently reaching out for Regulus. He slid his hand behind Regulus’ calf, staring up at the crazed pale gray eyes. 

“Hello Baby, you alright?” Remus asked. Regulus quickly shook his head, his curls flying this way and that. Remus hummed, it was often Regulus struggled with his anxiety. Regulus let out another huff, finally catching his breath. 

“Do you have the map on you?” Regulus asked, still looking over his shoulders for you. Remus nodded. 

“It's not like I’m giving it to Peter. Can't trust him with his food around stuff like that. He'll get stains on it. Don't even get me started on Sirius.” Remus said, still massaging the back of Regulus’ calf. Regulus huffed and stuck his hands out. Remus took the sign for him to pull the map out already, leaning it over to his school bag. He dug through the contents before finally finding the map and holding it up. Regulus let out a sigh and flopped onto the ground next to Remus. Remus pointed his wand at the map and pulled it open. Luckily it was just cold enough for most students to stay inside. Remus saw a straggler wandering by the other side of the courtyard but they weren't close enough to see anything of importance. 

Regulus’ eyes scanned the map, searching for your name and footprints. Remus stared blankly at the map, not sure who exactly they were looking for. Like a flash of light, Regulus' hand jumped out a gasp flying past his lips. His finger slammed into the map, a crinkling sound following it. Remus looked at it, finding your name. He frowned as Regulus pushed himself off the ground, speed walking off towards the exit of the courtyard. 

Remus quickly followed after him, swinging his bag onto his shoulder and crumpling the map to his chest. Regulus swerved through the halls, bordering sprinting. Remus followed after him, trying to keep his pace but ultimately falling behind. Regulus swung open the Library doors, slipping in and forgetting his boyfriend behind him. Remus sighed and followed suit, pulling open the Library door. 

Remus quietly followed Regulus’ warpath, awkwardly waving at the librarian on the way in. She rolled her eyes and returned to pulling books from the return. Remus skipped ahead, turning the corner to find Regulus standing next to a form that looked quite familiar. Regulus found you. Studying. Still. If his memory serves him right, you left dinner early yesterday to get started. He guessed you probably got kicked out of the Library around curfew and came back to hit the books before breakfast. 

Of course, they both noticed you were studying a lot but they hadn't realized just how bad it was. A little studying was good, a nice few hours was even better, but almost full days? 

Your head was resting on your arm, over a page of review questions. Open books were scattered around you, and your quill was limp in your hand. Remus hated the mess showing off the frantic studying you were putting yourself through. Regulus probably felt similar, glancing over his shoulder to send Remus a look. Regulus dipped down, kissing your cheek and lightly shaking your shoulder. You pulled your head up slowly. Your eyes were still squinted, glancing around the Library to find whoever woke you up. 

“Hello, amour. How long have you been studying?” Regulus asked, rubbing the back of your neck. You leaned back in your chair, stretching your arms up as you yawned. Regulus hummed, trying to urge you to answer his question. You shook your head, rubbing the sleep from your face. You looked up to Regulus, furrowing your eyebrows. 

“How long have you been studying, darling?” Remus asked. You grimaced, scrunching up your nose. You sighed and looked down at the spread of books and pages on your table. 

“Um since this morning.” You answered, picking up your quill again. Regulus leaned forward, snatching the quill from your hand. You groaned, reaching for it. Regulus stuck his arm out towards Remus. Remus took the quill, hiding it behind his back. You rolled your eyes and looked back at your books. Remus joined Regulus at his side, keeping the quill away from you. 

“Have you taken any breaks today?” Regulus asked. Your eye darted at him from the side. You stayed silent, pretending like you didn’t hear him. That was plenty of an answer for Remus. Remus leaned forward, closing the book in front of you. You scoffed. 

“I need to study. I have to be ready for the tests.” You said, trying to open the book again. Remus pressed his palm into the cover of the book, making sure you couldn’t open it. You glared at Remus, deciding to pick another book. You opened a history one next to you. Regulus reached over and pulled the book from your hands. You let out a sigh and sat back. 

“Darling, you’re going to do fine. Don’t you know that? You’ve been studying for days. You need to take a break, my love.” Remus said. Regulus held onto your hands, tugging you up from the chair. You complained on the way up yet still let Regulus pull you. Remus pulled his wand from his bag, swishing it at your library table. You paused in your complaints to Regulus, watching the books and papers order themselves into a neat stack. The stack lifted itself from the table, floating to Remus’ side. 

“Let’s go take a nap, mon amour,” Regulus whispered. You furrowed your brows and rolled your eyes at him. Your hands were still trapped in his hold. Regulus dropped one of your hands. You intertwined your fingers with him as he pulled you forward towards the Library exit. Remus followed after you two, steering the stack of books with his wand. 

Regulus tucked you into bed, scooting in behind you. He cradled you in his arms, holding you tightly. Remus set your belongings down before joining you two. He saddled in on the other side of you, cupping your face and smacking a kiss on your forehead. He hoped it would travel through that thick skull of yours and calm your worried brain.  You hummed and leaned closer to him, slipping an arm around his waist. You pressed your cheek into his chest. Remus cooed, holding on to the back of your head. Regulus looked at Remus over your shoulder, giving him a proud, though small, smile. You were resting. Later they’d hide your books so you couldn’t study for the rest of the day. 

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> slow-burn, soulmate au, Hunger Games au paring(s) -> ATEEZ OT8 x FEM!READER warning(s) -> murder, mental health, gore, suicidal thoughts. words -> 2.5k

abstract -> who said sacrifices were easy?

Y/N’S PERSPECTIVE 

“What are you two planning?” he asked me and the male tribute… and I didn’t know how to answer. What was I going to showcase after a few days of training? All I’ve been practicing was fish tackling for fishing, swimming, and studying the plants in humid plains. My ally was of help but she couldn’t even wield a spear… how was I a threat to anyone?

“The best thing for the two of you would be to act weak… then you won’t be a target for the career's best-case scenario, where you’d get an average score and won’t be targeted for a while,” he said, and suddenly, the elevator opened… We walked in and saw District Twelves’s mentor.

Kim Hongjoong. The Devil in Disguise… The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing.

Jeonghan stepped forward standing next to him while we stood before our mentor.

“I heard you’re trying this year,” he said to Jeonghan, earning a scoff.

“I heard you left your tributes to die?” he asked and Hongjoong laughed. How could you laugh when people were dying when you knew what this felt like? When you didn’t even want to help them… when they were just in your position?

“They don’t have what it takes… most of my district doesn’t,” he said and the doors opened as we walked off. I don’t know what came over me but I turned behind me to see him looking at us. 

He waved his right hand making my eyes widen. Another red string connecting to me? 

“Whatever happens here is fine… okay so don’t get too nervous, they go in order of district with the male tributes going first. Good luck”

Everyone, starting from District One and ending at District Twelve, sat in silence, waiting to be called. This was all to showcase how we could survive or kill one another. 

It felt like forever when it was finally my turn… with everyone’s eyes on me as I walked. 

I went inside to see the game makers. Jeonghan had mentioned that they’ll be on edge and watch every tribute this year since Hongjoong won.

Last year, he was given a meek rating of two… he truly was considered weak. But Jeonghan said to avoid that—not only would I be targeted, but sponsors wouldn’t help me, which is something he told me I needed to heavily rely on. 

I still didn’t know what to do so I could use a weapon… so when I decided to go to the plants they laughed and conversed with themselves. They didn’t pay attention to me after. 

I didn’t know if that was good or not so… I had to think of something to bump my score, anything even a little. So I practiced memorizing beaches and tropical plants when I realized… Maybe I should talk to them. 

“This year's arena is favoring District 4 right? Either beach or ocean?” I asked as I looked behind me slightly and they stopped talking to look at me. I smiled as I got confirmation what I was doing was correct. I was relieved as I continued, facing away from them as I showed them everything I chose of tropical plants… stating I knew from the start what they were planning. 

“You want District Four to win this year… but respectfully I don’t think they will,” I said as I finished and bowed, thanking them for my time as I walked out and I was confident. Walking passed all the other District tributes to the outside where I was going to find Jeonghan.

“I’m guessing they weren’t as observant?” I heard and I saw Hongjoong. “That doesn’t matter,” I said, not wanting to tell him anything. “It doesn’t matter about this small little detail. If you were smart like your district is known for… you’d stop fighting for your life. The victor's life wouldn’t suit you” he said and I was confused about what he meant.

“Seonghwa may put hope in your head if your brother already hadn’t but trust me. Death would suit you better than a cage” he said and I didn’t understand…

You’d think being soulmates would—

“y/n!” I heard and I saw Jeonghan’s glare. I walked to him and he looked at me angrily. “Come on,” he said as he led me away from the lobby where I heard Hongjoong’s laugh… we walked away from my psychotic and knowing soulmate. When we were finally out of the public’s view… I had to ask. 

“What did—“ “I think it's time to make a choice… he’s right you know. Living in a cage isn’t fun at all,” he said, cutting me off and I didn’t know what anything meant. What did Hongjoong mean?

We were on the elevator when he asked what I did.

“Plants at first—“ he sighed disappointedly “—but then I asked them about the arena,” I said and his eyes widened. “Why would you do that!? You needed to take the chance rather than…” He yelled but stopped as he saw my reassuring smile… “I needed to know… if I was right or not so I could see if what I calculated was wrong. Jeonghan…” I said and he looked at me worried. Like everything could come crumbling down… the stress in his eyes was evident but I gave him a relieved smile of my own.

“Jeonghan… I was right it's an arena for District Four”

The next step was now waiting for results. Seeing if we could get a high enough score to not be a target and be low enough to also not be a target. However, this year the careers were deadly, the highest ranking being eleven. 

My tribute partner ranked a two for my escort to try to cheer him up while Jeonghan didn’t even try. He waited for mine. I knew he deserved to fight for his life too but… it was him or me and I had to choose myself for Junghwan. 

“It’s okay dear, it’s different in the arena” our escort comforted the boy crying next to me as my name was called out and then a score…“So y/n, a score of… 10” I felt my eyes widen. Just for telling them what arena I knew? 

“Ok… not bad but you did put a target on your back,” Jeonghan said and I felt scared. More than ever.. in just three days of training and now the results of our showcase were… terrifying. 

Tomorrow is the interview… everything was suddenly going so fast. After the interview, I'd step into my death if I didn’t play it right. 

While everyone went to sleep I didn’t know what to do… At first, it felt like a nightmare… What would I even say tomorrow?

“Let me tell you a piece of advice, kid” I heard and I saw Jeonghan with a drink in his hand as he approached me. He put a hand on my head trying to comfort me when he asked…

“You have people to live for don’t you?” I nodded… Junghwan but also… “You said you met your soulmate… is it in your district or here in the capital?” He asked and I didn’t see any point to lie when I might die in the next day or so. Besides… I think I could trust Jeonghan. 

“My stylist and Hongjoong…” I said and he sighed almost like he was also debating on what to tell me... “The minute a victor leaves you get crowded with lights and pretty words from the capitalites and they idolize you but they don’t know nor do they ever realize that you were killed in there… that you have blood staining your hands that won’t ever come out,” he said and I didn’t think of the guilt afterward…. Survivors' guilt.

“But then you meet the president and he will seem to give you a good life and deals… but be smart. Don’t go against the president… or the ones you love will be killed off one by one. Your brother and your stylist could die at any minute just because you misbehaved” he said and I nodded. 

Act good… behave.

“Hongjoong had lost his parents this year because he didn’t follow that rule. I can tell that the only thing pushing you is your brother… otherwise, this would be complete suicide so I don’t want to see what could happen if your brother died because of something you did”

Behave… I’d just have to act the part. Jeonghan said he had to learn to put on a fake mask in front of the audience. I’d have to do the same… be charming, cute, and perfect in their eyes. Get sponsors… and make me a loveable victor that they wouldn't want to see die

His games… he showed me them and he told me everything he did as well as his thought process. He made an elaborate plan and lied to them to gain sponsors. Those same sponsors are the reason he won… so what would I do?

“Hello again” I heard and I saw Seonghwa. My soulmate… someone I wanted to protect but would he look at me the same after seeing what I'd do if I did survive? “Are you ready to look like you belong from the capital?” He gave me a smile. How… could he be from the capital and smile knowing tomorrow there’d be so many deaths?

“You’ll win. You got a score of ten, that's impressive you know!” He praised me as he started doing my hair. He talked on and on about his plans for me and praised me for my score. He was clinging to the idea of me surviving…

He was just as desperate as I was but… the thought ran around my head. Isn’t it better to just… have to protect my brother? He’s safer with everyone thinking that I had only my brother. 

I don’t think I'd ever forgive myself if I was the reason for his death. I can’t imagine… having to attend his funeral or living my life knowing it was all my fault. Not when he looked at me with admiration, hope, and… love. 

“Here, let’s get you to put on the dress my love, it’s going to make you look heavenly!”

“So y/n!!” I heard the caster say as I walked onto the stage in the white feathered dress with gold accessories adorning my hair neck and arms. 

“Well don’t you look like an angel” he smiled. Boo Seungkwan… Jeonghan told me he knew him personally and trusted his character. So I could do the same and I found comfort in him weirdly enough…

“Now, when you were chosen I had goosebumps. Everything was silent unlike the previous districts since yours is the cut-off from careers. But the boy… his pleas were heartbreaking. Can you tell me about him?” He asked and I nodded. I couldn’t help but smile thinking of my silly brother. 

“He's my brother… he turned twelve this year,” I said and he smiled softly. “How about your parents?” He asked and I shook my head. 

“Our parents died a few years back… it’s been only the two of us since then. It’s why… I need to win” I said and I heard the awws from the audience. How could they aww to two orphans and a boy potentially losing his only family left… orphans who lost their parents to peacemakers… workers for their president?

When it was their rules they implemented… that we had to live this way?

“I see my dear… may the odds be ever in your favor for his sake. Let’s talk about the parade… Your dress was a fan favorite. The feathers made you look… like an angel!” He said and I smiled. 

“My stylist had a good eye,” I said and he chuckled “Well of course and even today's dress!” He announced and I smiled. “I could give you a spin?” I offered and he nodded as we stood up. 

He took my hand and twirled me. It cascaded feathers down to the crowd which capitilites tried to get. The dress even had two parts where the feathers separated almost making it look like wings “Even if this dress gives this light, your district represents power. How does this reflect that?” He asked and I chuckled.

“Light is important, isn’t it? Without district three we wouldn’t have electricity let alone the light. We need something to shine in our lives at the hardest times Mr. Boo'' I said and he smiled. 

“You’re very right my dear. Now, how do you feel about tomorrow?” He asked to make the atmosphere serious as we sat down. The audience seemed entranced so now… make them cry as Jeonghan advised. 

“Worried and a bit scared. I’ll get back to my brother either in his heart or in person” I said with tears blurring my vision. The emotion was real… this wasn’t an act. 

“But surely you have some confidence you got a ten!” He said and I had an idea pop inside my mind.

“Yeah… if I’m being honest? I only got a high score because I predicted the arena” I said and his eyes widened and I heard gasps of shock. 

“Predicted it?” He asked, confused and maybe intrigued… I nodded confirming he didn’t hear incorrectly. I’d do the same thing as Jeonghan… differently but the same aspect. He is my mentor after all… this could ruin District Three’s reputation but it didn’t matter to me. 

“Do you wanna know a secret?” I asked and he leaned in. “A dessert arena”

“You little genius!” Jeonghan exclaimed and I smiled. “They’ll be fed wrong information and some of the tributes will take the trap,” he said and I nodded. He gave praise and he honestly looked relieved…

“Ooh! You already have a nickname in the capital!” My escort soon said running to us excitedly. She was too innocent for all of this. 

“Our little angel,” she said and I was going for a bird-like demeanor but the angel was a lot better. “You’re going to win this… I promise you will” she said and I smiled. The rest of the interviews went as planned… but soon everyone was talking about the spoilers of tomorrow’s arena. I took the attention off everyone which was good…

As we had dinner I waited for my partner's tribute and our escort to leave… because if I was gonna die tomorrow I needed to know everything… “What did you mean by Hongjoong was right?” I asked, referring to the other day and he sighed. 

“Would you die for your brother?” he asked and I nodded. “That's the problem,” he said, confusing me. “Hongjoong lost his family this year to a ‘disease’… that's what the public knows. But our lovely president killed them to punish him and now he’s free. Your brother would be in danger–"

"So it would be better if I die in the arena?” I asked and he sighed. He looked at me conflicted… there wasn’t a right or wrong answer to this. It seems there wasn’t an answer at all…

“I'll be honest… you're a pretty girl, so prostitution, escort ship, paid company, whatever you'd like to call it… he might assign that on to you,” he said and I was confused. 

“So if I behave my brother is safe?” I asked and he nodded with nervousness in his eyes but even with knowing this detail... 

“Then nothing else matters”

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